#I can’t fucking do this
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i’m stuck in a dystopian nightmare and i can’t wake up. i’ve been crying since before the election was called. i’ve been stressed since 2016. and now everything is going to be worse. i’m so fucking scared and there’s nothing i can do and i have to pretend like everything’s fine.
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my dad is never fucking beating the streamer allegations his christmas gift for himself finally arrived and tell me why THIS is what he unpacks
#icarus speaks#the fucking backstory is even more insane#because he was at my cousin’s house and my. cousin in law?#idk her husband has this HUGE gamer set up#two monitors adjustable mic all rbg and shit#it’s really cool#and apparently my dad (late 50s) (the most strict no-nonsense workaholic known to man)#saw it and was like. hey how good is that mic? and he BOUGHT IT because OBVIOUSLY it’s a good mic but like#the fucking SHOCK of seeing ‘GAMER’ bolded all over the box#i cannot stress enough how much of a workaholic office man this man is. he has neglected to be a father and husband for most of his life to-#be an employee. he hates any type of digital entertainment.#i can’t fucking do this
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My dog can’t get surgery because her salivary gland is apparently a special case and can’t be surgically fixed.
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lecturing myself through tears in my eyes: the day cannot be allowed to wind down to a close at 7pm. 7pm is way too early to have a drink. 7pm is still productive time. we’re not doing this. we’re not fucking doinggggg this. it’s not time to turn on the tv yet. It’s still fucking day time you lazy biiitch
#I can’t fucking do this#it’s part of why I lean so hard into the Christmas thing#like I need something fun if it’s gonna get dark at 5 goddamn pm
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LIZ….. LIZZZSKKSKFKEKDK LIZ FROM IVE KIM JIWON LIZZZZZZ
#sug speaks#i’m losing my fucking shit#liz from ive#LIZ FROM SOUTH KOREAN GIRL GROUP IVE#I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS
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I turn on my ask box and I’m already getting spammed by folks in Gaza begging for my help. I can’t help them. I also don’t know if they’re a scam because I’ve seen many people pretend to be from Gaza and trick others into giving them money. It’s too overwhelming for me, the moral dilemma of protecting my mental health or forcing myself to see Gaza and free Palestine posts every single minute of the day for the sake of the ones in need. The world is too cruel. I can’t handle this anymore. I just wish they’d understand that I can’t help and that I’m not going to reblog their donation posts because it’ll attract more people to keep begging. I get that it’s hard and that the genocide is horrifying and cruel, but I seriously have to protect my mental health. This year destroyed me and it'll just get worse if I keep encountering everything. I don’t want to feel shameful for wanting my blog to be a safe space but I do. To the Palestinians, please just leave me alone. I cannot help and I hope you find the ones who can.
#willow rants#I’m sick of this#I’m not allowed to exist without being bombarded with asks and messages begging for help#I can’t fucking help#This Palestine thing sucks#I want it to end#end the war goddamn it#At this point I may just turn off asks and block most messages#i can’t fucking do this
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:)
#fuck fucki uckfbcurkxjcukejxk#cory's rants#i can’t fucking do this#i need to sink into a hole#and spontaneously combust#idk#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#hakahfkahfkahfkahkfahkfhakfjakhfkajfkajfksjfkshfkshfksjfksjfjsjfjsjfjksjfks#fuck#fuck fucj fuck
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IM GONNA THROW UP THE SMUT IN PART 12 OF EXPOSURE THERAPY GOT SO FUCKING SAPPY AND CUTE IM FUCKING NAUSEAS 🤢😭 (also btw its in the editing stage now heheh)
#I can’t fucking do this#it’s making me SICK#they are so down bad for each other it’s disgusting#exposure therapy#jonathan crane#scarecrow#jonathan crane x reader
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Me when that one girl I thought was my friend, who hasn’t spoken to me in months, replies to my story just to correct something I said…
#real#girlblogging#girlblogger#girlhood#this is what makes us girls#female hysteria#female rage#smack a bitch#lana del rey#speechless#fake friends#i hate her#istg im gonna cry#does anybody else get this#i can’t fucking do this
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i’m so fucking tired of everything. i’m tired of every fucking responsibility being shoved onto me when i’m barely even able to take care of myself. i’m tired.
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Waiting for Sunday to be released like
#hsr sunday#honkai star rail sunday#sunday hsr#blorbo#i can’t fucking do this#two hours is to long to wait
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FYI, on a serious note/update, I might be more/less active over the next… however long. Penny, my cat, might not be around by the end of tomorrow, and it’s gonna make me extremely upset.
I’ve had her and Boogs since they were kittens, I’ve had 16 years of them within my sapient life, and I cannot imagine her absence. She’s been unwell the last month or two, and I was hoping she was gonna come back from it, but she’s the worst I’ve ever seen her today; she can’t even eat. My mother even hinting that we might have to let her go opened the floodgates, and I haven’t been this emotional and stressed in a long while, not like this anyway.
I love you, Penny, and I hope you know that, even if I can’t tell you. I love your meow, your sweetness, your cuddles, your pretty eyes and fur, and I love you for all the memories we had together. To some you might just be a cat, but you were my best friend, my family, and I can’t imagine my world without you there. Thank you.
#spaghetti speaks#tw animal illness#cw animal death#cw animal illness#tw animal death#animal death#animal illness#euthanasia#penny the cat#I love my cats#so much#I’ve been crying so much today#I don’t want her to go#I keep thinking I finally went through the motions just to crash back down again- stinging salty tears and snotty-nosed#ask to tag#I usually try and avoid showing this version of me because I hate seeing myself as this sobbing thing instead of a wooden plank#but god man#the last few months have been absolute shit and now I’m gonna have to face the fact that I might have to cradle Penny one last time#I can’t do it man#I can’t even try and drown out my thoughts in music because oh so conveniently my headphones started being annoying on one side#the right ear is constantly staticy and popping#i can’t fucking do this#Call me dramatic or whatever#I just want things to be okay#I want things to be magically better and I can stop stressing and crying and all this shit#vent#vent post#personal vent#venting#cw vent
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I’m completely fine and okay until I remember that Eric Delano literally blinded himself for the chance to raise his son, and love him, and protect him from Mary and Mary fucking killed him for shits and giggles. 
#tma#he loved his son so fucking much#He loves his son and he just wanted to raise him#because he knew how horrible Mary was and he wanted to protect his son from that#And Mary killed him as a little experiment#I’m literally gonna be sick about it man this is so fucking sad#And his son has the most heartbreaking life because of Mary#He never had a chance to have a normal happy life#He could’ve though#And that’s so fucking gutting#he had a father who literally blinded himself#just so he could raise him and love him and protect him man#I can’t fucking do this#eric delano
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Jesse changed his bio. Jay Halstead is officially no more 😭
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The next few days are going to be. so hard
#bits of banter#our family dog of 14 years is going to the vets on Wednesday and we think that. that’ll be it#dreading it#been fighting the tears all day and losing#I can’t do this#I can’t fucking do this#delete later
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