#smack a bitch

[gummi3]

she just like me frrr

[cmkler]

Me when that one girl I thought was my friend, who hasn’t spoken to me in months, replies to my story just to correct something I said…

[05-redacted]

it was more a long and tiring end of work you are close to your house and you only think about taking a shower and resting, but entering your house you find it all overturned, open cupboards your favorite sweets and snacks have been eaten, and when you arrive at the door of the your room scp076 is lying on your bed with some puppies sleeping with him, your reaction and what?

Option 1: I say fuck it and take a pillow and blanket and sleep in the bath tub

Option 2: I'll take the puppies off him before laying down next to him putting the puppies back on him.

Option 3: Take the puppies of him and put them somewhere safe and then...

:Readmore:

Run away afterwards

[r-acicularis]

[empressaquarius]

I saw Rico Nasty last night 🤘🏾

[itsybitchylittlewitchy]

I find myself laughing at my own jokes more than anyone. Is this a sign of madness?

Probably, but tbh I'm past caring 🤣

Next time Loki meets Dr Strange

[stealingpotatoes]

You can’t convince me that the TL4J (which sounds like a droid designation) don’t have their wanted posters framed and hanging in the New Jedi Order. Both as slightly bragging and to show the young Jedi that peace is fragile and for a long time absent from the galaxy, but worth defending.

someone: the jedi order are weak pacifist peacekeepers the jedi:

[sundazetales]

Okay, hear me out…

Just imagine Wade doing things for Logan that he is perfectly capable of; he grabs jars out of his hand and opens them for him, he ties his laces for him when they come undone, he leans over and lights his cigars, he puts blankets on him when he's sat in his armchair, and each time Logan feels like a mess because he doesn't know to respond to it, to someone taking care of him. Wade is doing these little things while calling him a princess.

Imagine the first time Wade realises how easily he can pick Logan up, and he carries a sleepy Logan to bed, and Logan finds himself liking being picked up and has a whole crisis over that. Because nobody treated him gently or acted as if he could need help.

Logan doesn't tell Wade he likes it, but maybe he starts handing jars to Wade to open just because he enjoys the act of Wade caring for him. Even if its unnecessary and silly.

[fistfuloflightning]

A little update on the Bai Zhan Peak!Shen Yuan and Zui Xian Peak!Shen Jiu au—aka Battle Twink/Drunkard-by-Necessity-Asshole-by-Choice

[limesquares]

Need a hand?

[harpers-tartarus]

absolutely wild that Kipperlilly is jealous that Riz killed Kalvaxus when literally any parties in the school could've stuck around to help instead of leaving a bunch of freshman who have literally BEEN IN JAIL FOR AT LEAST A FEW WEEKS and a smattering of adults that don't even show up until halfway through

Like, girlie, get it together, if you wanted that renown, you should've stayed in the gym

[fuckmeyer]

if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son

[sorrowcure]

WHEN I CHECK THE ALNST SOCIALS AFTER A DAY AND FIND OUT THIS DROPPED OM THE 20TH

AUGH THE ONE DAY I DIDNT CHECK IM LIKE GONNA TJROW UP IN A GOOD??? WAY (anywho sorry for being dead I'll be back,, maybe who knows)

(Art Source)

[laswells-ashtray]

someone at college is being violently transphobic and as the only non cis person in the glass I actually had to take myself out of the room because my hands started shaking and I almost hit a bitch

[anqueerism]

Seeing so-called transfeminists use the word "hysterical" in all fucking seriousness, completely dead fucking ass, in relation to trans men talking about their problems is.... Hilarious. Yes girl, you go! Such a feminist, calling trans men hysterical for being upset about being oppressed! You definitely don't sound like a misogynistic doctor from the 1840s!

Pathetic, honestly. Spines like fucking lawn chairs.

[holoship]