#I can take her if I believe in myself
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Best girl 3
#godzilla#gojira#mothra#mosura#best girl#kaiju#monsterverse#fanart#gxk#godzilla x kong: the new empire#bereal#she’s 63 and still looks stunning#I can take her if I believe in myself
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Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops
#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved kuras#kuras#sleepyscribble#oc.emma#my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk#so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game#she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk#the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides#a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse#having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it'#but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise#and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl#bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it#anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone#also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine#bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee#but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself#and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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Misha and Jensen discuss filming the despair confession & Jensen and Rob discuss filming their last scenes as well, at SPN ATL 2023
It's the LAAAAST QUESTION
#despair#spn behind the scenes#original content#spn atl#live con#i filmed this in march 2023 but never posted it. i know other people put this up.#i am partially posting this just allow myself to take it off my phone#i can't believe we got this#destiel#misha collins#jensen ackles#last question#dean was always bi#fav#destiel was always canon#the tapes#jackles drop the tapes#you can hear her whimpering#Youtube
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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does anyone have any good fics where vi works for Silco and jinx was in Stillwater?
#idk I think it would be a cool concept#like silco finding vi after she ran away#that would be a great way to showcase silco’s manipulation#to be able to convince a girl who was ready to kill him to adopt him as a father figure#I don’t think they would be as close as jinx and silco though#but vi and sevika working together#obviously vi isn’t a tinkerer but imagine vi working for silco who can take out squads of enforcers with her fists#that would be sick#and a jinx who’s gone insane in prison cooped up with nothing but her hallucinations#who started going by jinx in Stillwater#because she firmly believes that’s what she is#that’s why she’s in prison#also like a begrudging friends dynamic between Cait and Jinx#also bonus points for caitvi enemies to lovers#like come on#and ACTUAL enemies to lovers would be nice for once#instead of mild dislike to lovers#which is still great#jinx working with Viktor#almost half of their prototypes aren’t allowed to be shown to the public because they’re covered in scribbles#hell I don’t know if jinx would be allowed to be shown to the public#also uhhh I wouldn’t mind some lightcannon#oh who am I kidding this is just my outline for a fic#I should just write this myself#ok google docs get ready for some word vomit#arcane#vi arcane#jinx arcane#swap au#arcane silco
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remember when you hit the brakes too soon! twenty stitches in a hospital room! when you started crying baby I did too! but when the sun came up I was looking at you!
#remember when we couldn’t take the heat#I walked out said I’m setting you free#but the monsters turned out to be! just! trees!#when the sun came up you were looking at me!!!!#oh you were looking at me#😭♥️😭😭😭😭😭#do you ever think about how moments of connection in Taylor songs is so rare#just. that moment when the beloved is looking back AT her —it almost never happens#and when it does she’s so quick to write it down and hold on to it forever#locked in her steel-trap memory#you almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me#I am always thinking about Ann Powers saying that a Taylor song is just Taylor alone with a man creating the world of the Moment#whatever it is#and most of the time it’s profoundly lonely#the thing Taylor does NOT have (I believe) are friendships that go to the core#that are personal and individual —where she is Seen and Loved#and so she’s still looking for it in romance and mostly not finding it 😭#but man there is something so poignant about Taylor writing from and filling in the silences of a space so many women find themselves in#alone with a man who won’t look at them#I have never been there and venture to predict I never will be#but Taylor has lived most of her adult life there#and then the other half doing the work of transcribing it#shakes me to my CORE#anyways to circle back for a second—out of the woods HAS the moment of connection#and it feels as raw and vulnerable and simple as it probably was#like. for a second we really are just in the hospital room with them#when she says—when you started crying baby I did too I can SEE her just standing there#all nearly 6 feet of her probably in her little ski outfit tears streaming down her face!#but it’s still a point of connection because he’s looking back at her in that moment#I have made myself cry
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I was busy within the hour this released. but I'm here now and. ... oh boy just bear with me
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I'm gonna just... copy/paste my initial thoughts as I watched this, here, for the next couple lines:
Final Results:
Now listen to me, I need to scream into the void all my newfound realizations and woes but it's 1:30 in the morning and I need to wake up early the next day. So understand that I'm making this as short as gayly possible (it may not be short at all).
Aside from all the lesbian saxophone that my eyes just witnessed, which is a scream that will never make contact with any airwaves - digital or otherwise - ... The last two minutes of that trailer were entirely unexpected.
Now don't get me fucking wrong I wasn't NOT paying attention to the section of the teaser during the livestream that showed us a glimpse of Black Swan's fear and surprise drowning in that fiery background. but. ... bro— FUCKING COME ONNNN MAN!!
HOW FAST THE SCENE FLIPPED, HOW QUICKLY- WHATEVER THAT THING (IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE ACHERON WE KNOW) WAS TOOK THE LEAD and LITERALLY tossed Black Swan around like a helpless bird. a PREDATOR chasing their PREY
AND THE PREY IS BLACK FUCKING SWAN???? THE FUCKING MEMOKEEPER FROM THE GARDEN OF RECOLLECTION?? THE MYSTERIOUS AND ELEGANT SOOTHSAYER???
To see Black Swan of ALL characters in this game so far be filled with such visceral fear and trepidation, to be tossed around at the MERCY of something that could have so EASILY killed her just like. t h a t. is beyond insane.
I expected it to be more of a "What terrible horrors have you commited?" 'Wow! Horrors that even Black Swan thinks is terrible, Acheron is capable of s-' no she literally almost killed her. She's not a human by the way. Black Swan is not a human being anymore she is like. coNdEnseD mEmORy AND SHE LITERALLY ALMOST DIED. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
also, we love Allegra Clark in this house this woman is hilarious
#everything I've (HSR pfp obviously) said in these screenshots is completely /j but also I'm dead serious#holy shit#Honkai#Honkai: Star Rail#Honkai Star Rail#HSR#Black Swan when I catch you#you dastardly unapologetic lesbian#actually a fuck around -> find out moment#Allegra Clark the WOMAN THAT YOU ARE#the way you can see BS desperately try to fly away numerous times only for Acheron to drag her back and tear her to shreds more and more#ridiculous#utterly ridiculous#how did they do it#idk if y'all get it I really hold Black Swan to this imperceptible standard#like she really is a divine being (in my mind at least)#her ability to perceive the things that may very well happen in the near & distant future is a CRAZY thing#and it makes her seem so untouchable#so for them to take it to. THIS. extent I just.... I just could never have readied myself for it#Black Swan#Acheron#HSR Acheron#HSR Black Swan#Honkai Star Rail animated short#Rondo Across Countless Kalpas#I loved everything about the trailer btw#Youtube#blazingshitpost#blazingshitpost star rail edition#ALSO!! Arryn Zech’s voice is out to get me. CAN’T believe I nearly forgot to mention that
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You know you're about to get the best T shot of your life + some strong opinions on the bullshit ways people are doing it when u go in to a rural pharmacy and the 55 year old guy behind the counter is so jacked he barely fits into the damn lab coat
#i told him i was having issues overcoming the natural instinct to not stab myself since i botched my last SubQ and would rather do IM anyway#and he shat all over the subQ method calling it an understudied fad#and when I mentioned that I exclusively do upper glute he was like YO EXACTLY cant believe doctors are out here telling complete newbies#to just jab their thighs its insane like bro absolutely#last time i went here i was quite a bit painfully injected by a practicum pharmacist who was i think trying to subtly hint that she#was bisexual. after i commented on her uh cowboy doc martens#yeah she harpooned me in the ass with a damn 21 gauge. to be expected.#this guy went right for a 25 gauge and aimed better too not to discredit women but there are some things u can only understand by being a#certified roidbeast#I been injecting this shit almost every week (did take few month long breaks) for 7 years#Just imagine the scar tissue you'd accumulate if you did 21g every time like some doctors suggest “because its thick” lol
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happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.
#im. 24 now.#appleyaps#gonna be honest with you guys idk where the fuck my life is heading atm.#but if this manga taught me anything its that i have to keep making choices in order to achieve my own happiness.#ive been making strides... im now exclusively using the men's toilets wherever i go.#and im working on getting a professional diagnosis so i can go on hrt... but the waiting lists are so long.#i took the transfer but now it turns out i still have to wait longer... even though i was promised help quickly.#i dont know how much longer i can take this though. being uncomfortable with myself. im sick of it. i just wanna live.#theres so many things id like to do. but my body and my voice are holding me back from it.#my mom and her boyfriend know now. but my mom doesnt understand and has never referred to me as a woman as much as she does now.#at least everyone at school uses he/him for me now. i was finally assertive about it in my new class#and everyone there calls me teddie. though i'd like people to use tom for me as well. my friends do.#i just need to be even more assertive from now on. im working on it. im doing my best. i wanna live.#at least i have lots to look forward too. thats whats keeping me going honestly. and my friends.#the hope that one day i get to look in the mirror and finally see myself. i want to believe that it can happen. i need it to happen.
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Did some outfit sketches for Stacey cause my girl deserves some cute outfits for the summer!
(Read tags for more info if you’d like)
#the first outfit comes from my most recent nordegrim piece#the second one I made for a panel edit#so it’s the outfit I think she’d wear to the beach at the beginning of volume 4 if she went#I just added some pizzaz to it cause it was rather simple in the panel edit (that I’m not going to share)#the third outfit is based on that one bust drawing Bryan made for a Scott pilgrim website#that I believe you can find at the back of the colour edition for volume 4#and the fourth I made on my own#I just wanted to put her in a chunky cardigan and wear a cute dress :]#I found a chunky cloud cardigan while looking at refs and I thought it was cute so I put her in it (added the buttons myself btw)#I’m not sure if it’s something she’d actually wear but shhhh it’s cute she’d wear it on like a casual date or something#if you want to draw her the ones I designed myself (3rd one doesn’t count cause I took a hypothetical stacey look and just completed it)#*draw her in (why must I forget ‘in’)#go on ahead cause id love to see them :]#idc if i made any mistakes this is just some sketches I decided to colour in#same pose for all of them too cause I’m lazy and also it’s just concept designs nothing fancy#gonna stop with the tags cause there are too many now and I’ve been talking too much her ok bye hope you like the outfits! :D#*here#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim comic#scott pilgrim takes off#stacey pilgrim#HER <3333333#<-#my new personal tag for Stacey cause um yeah HER
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Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.
#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week#anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week#ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!!#theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄''#like yeah actually you do#if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY#yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable#whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights#right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request#then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄''#like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil.#anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now#it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations
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Watching Kaori develop into the current most dominant women’s skater in the field has been incredible.
#i feel like such a hag do my fellow fossils remember when she used to be called unrefined#and people would say she’d never make it big because she was ‘sloppy’ and didn’t have ultra c elements and wasn’t doing stereotypically-#lyrical programs but EYE believed in her#and now look#and she still has room for improved cause girl that flip is not a flip but fixing that is going to take time 😭#which once again proves my point every skater no matter how great they are can still improve themselves#figure skating#kaori sakamoto#grand prix final#gpf 2023#(why did tumblr double the tags I swear I did not do this myself)
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13, trying to prevent yaz from spiralling when they get separated: i need you to do a deepdive into eschatology
#fghgjhjhggh#'yea i know this sucks babe but we'll figure it out the fate of the world is on your shoulders i believe in you kisses <3'#like thats where you'll end up right#'find out when the aliens come try and take over'#eschatology and death cults and conspiracy theories probably#forced to sift through like centuries of that stuff for years on end trying to find the Real in all of it#and you cant.......stop. bc the world will end#i dont think you come out of that.................normal#even with the best starting condition you dont come out of that normal but yaz is like#functional only by virtue of her circumstances i think#she looks fine bc shes standing next to 13#i dont think shes normal under the surface#i dont think 4 years of apocalypticism left her untouched#dan either i mean i dont think anyone comes out of that untouched but these two are like barely keeping it together beforehand#can you imagine how WEIRD theyve become#can you imagine how obliviously and kind of unsettlingly weird they'd be in support groups#the others would get it like sure none of us are really normal anymore but like#i think they'd be weird#4 years of having to depend on each other and not knowing if you'll get back home and having to take The End Times seriously nonstop as a#matter of urgency and duty#and then losing the third member of your party?#dan and yaz will be so weird and fucked up#iknow im repeating myself but im just trying to put myself in the frame of mind of#having to take intepretations of the end times seriously for 4 years#when youre already like a lowkey suicidal person to begin with#i think if yaz hangs out with 14 she'll say such weird and fucked up things entirely obliviously and he'd be like O.O#she probably still has 1900 habits that show up unexpectedly#or like just miscalibrated. has to take a trip to another country and takes a train bc she forgets planes exist#has to look up somethign and just goes SIGH. gets her coat to go to the library. and ryans like ??? ive googled it#and shes like oh fuck google
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patrick star it's not my wallet meme but it's just "class-based oppression exists" "yes" "oppression is based on material class and not how an individual is perceived" "yes" "for example trans men who pass as men socially are still oppressed for being female" "yes" "because oppression manifests as more than surface discrimination" "yes" "therefore even straight-passing bisexual people are oppressed for being bisexual" "NO you can't be oppressed for being straight!!!!"
#by this logic bi people in same-sex relationships would be ''functionally gay'' bc that's how they're perceived#but that isn't how it works#so the same must be true for bi people in other-sex relationships#even if your argument is that bi people are only oppressed for our same-sex attraction#we are still same-sex attracted regardless of how we are perceived#(and my argument is not that bi people are oppressed ''for being OSA'' but that bisexuality is a complete sexuality)#(not some switch flipping between OSA and SSA. both are always ''on.'')#''you can just hide it'' isn't the magical get-out-of-oppression card they think it is#nor is hiding the default state for every bi person? like. i didn't come out. my peers could Tell.#i would have to actively change myself to be seen as a straight woman#but even if i was. i would still be oppressed on the Material Reality of my being bisexual#i can't believe this is a controversial take here on Material Reality tumblr tbh#it's material reality until a bi woman is explaining how being bi has had material consequences in her material life#and wants a word separate from homophobia bc homophobia should be about homosexuality only
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It's gettin pretty tough to keep squeakin I'll tell you that much
#this mouse has had her depression intensified again#time to read her journal and remember all the good things she cares about#time to work on moving on from the bad#I need to decide how much time being lonely and hurt I'm going to allow myself#compartmentalisation right#I can take all of this and deal with it later when there's more distance from it#I should also write myself a letter#it's always good to write myself a letter#I think I wanna cry in the shower first though#I was told not to bomb a bridge by someone with a lit stick of dynamite in her hand#standing next to an already bombed bridge#I played my part in stuff but not everything's my fault#and I think I'm gonna go cry about how it feels like that's being ignore for the sake of hating me and proving me wrong#then I'll pack all of this into a box and put it on a shelf in my mind and come back to it when somebody is ready to approach it with me#because I can't keep having this cycle alone#I can't keep listening to all the things I've been made to feel#I can't keep having imaginary conversations and wishing for magical fixes and apologies that might not ever come#god what a shit show#it's wild how fast everything can spiral out of control#and how much you can lose when it happens#I'll find another home some day#I have to believe that and keep moving forward#I'll find family that can be more patient with me and more accepting of their own flaws#I'll find a family that won't hurt me when they see me in a bad spot#i have to#please#i have to believe it's possible#and i really really really want to believe that can be my current family after weve had some time#but i feel so so scared that it cant#so lets shower and then box it up and then we can see what happens in a month I guess
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