#I can only assume that this is specifically as part of a push to control all media outlets

[hello-delicious-tea]

tl;dr - they're saying that PBS and NPR have real proper commercials so that they can stop providing any funding for any public broadcasting service. They are explicit that that is the end goal and that the commercial thing is their potential way to make that happen.

[pureastrologywisdom]

𝔖𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔓𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰

Lilith aspecting Moon

This is a very powerful placement for women specifically. The moon, which is your emotions, connected to the unconscious self, habits, comfort and femininity is connected to the point in your chart that is powerful and dark, a part fuelled by pain, and all about transmutation. These woman often have a very intriguing essence about them. Strong and seductive. It's like you are playing with fire. She enjoys being a little off putting and knows exactly how to be enticing yet intimidating all in one.

Neptune/Venus/Pluto in the 3rd House

The third house is often overlooked when people are speaking on seduction and sex appeal in astrology. People are so focused on visual they miss a key point. Seduction includes all the senses. Someone being beautiful doesn't necessarily mean they are seductive. It's the way someone moves, speaks, the things they say and don't say, how they hold themselves along with present themselves. It's subtle.

This brings me to why the third house comes into play. It inductees how we communicate. As mentioned words can be very seductive. Having planets like Neptune and Venus will give someone a sweet and sensual demeanour when talking. Neptune is very receptive and often these people are incredible at being able to asses the needs of the person they are taking to, it's a very intuitive placement. Neptune is also all about fantasy. Playing into a role you project onto them.

Pluto in the third's seductive tactics are centred around power snd control. Manipulation if you will - not always in the worst sense. They are good at digging for information getting to the base of the persons psyche that they are speaking to. Once again it's about understanding the people around them. You can see how Neptune and Pluto have this in common but the way they use this is different.

Scorpio Rising

I feel like you guys know this one has to be mentioned. And I am sure I have written about this before. However I feel it's important to explain why this rising sign specifically holds such seductive energy. I often hear people talk about their eyes, which is very true. But it goes much deeper than just appearance. Scorpio naturally rules over the 8th house, a house that is very deep and dark. It's shrouded by mystery and taboo, along with being a sexually charged house. Now think about all of these themes being brought into the 1st house. Being at the forefront of someones being in not only the way they look, but they way they carry themselves and interact with the world around them. It's very provocative energy.

But there is more. Though people may assume that because of this scorpios may give off an overt sexual energy, its not quite as obvious one one may think. Whilst there is this air of sex appeal around them, this often doesn't come from being so open and bold about these things, but rather from holding a little something back. As we know scorpio is about the things below the surface, secrets, privacy. This creates a dynamic where people can sense this energy, however they must peel back the layers and investigate more to truly see what these people are like. This can create a push and pull, a little bit of an enigma. It piques the intrigue of people and encourages the chase.

Mercury quintile/Bi-quintile Mars, Pluto or Neptune & Lilith in some cases

Very similar to the previously mentioned third house, Mercury rules over communication, along wit the way we think and process things. Having a quintile or Bi-quintile aspecting mercury it shows us that someone has a particular skill around communication. I have already explained why having Pluto and Neptune connected to areas of your chart dealing with communication creates seduction.

I also included Mars, as Mars is a planet of strategy. Often working towards a goal these people like to win, and are very good at 'winning people over' in conversation. Mars is more of a dominant planet so domination is a tactic often used by these people. Sometimes being commanded is sexy. These people speak strongly which is sexy.

The reason why I put Lilith as a case by case aspect is because as we know, Lilith often states as a place of wounding in a natal chart. It's only after someone has healed those wounds and understood the source of power that that area of their chart is with Lilith sitting there that they can truly start to embody and experience this. Though I will say having Lilith in a quintile or Bi-quintile is often easier. When developed Lilith is a very untamed energy, a little wild and unpredictable. Two traits that are extremely enticing.

Thank you all for reading my loves,

Pureastrowisdom x

Also a quick notice - I have a TikTok account under the name of

.plutonian.priestess

I would love if you would go and follow me on there too where I can post more image based content and eventually go into video style content too.

I am thinking of putting a face to my name and my account as I want you guys to see the person behind my work

[furiousgoldfish]

I don't get why there are no resources for healthy expressions of anger. Are we as a society fundamentally opposed to people feeling anger? Are we afraid that if people get angry they're going to cause destruction so as an alternative we want anger to just not exist? Anger will go somewhere regardless of whether we want it to exist or not, and if a person who has good reasons to be angry, is not allowed to feel angry, they'll get eaten by self hatred and depression because that's what internalizing anger does.

It's also interesting that when abusers and people in power are angry, they can pretty much do whatever they like. Say no to them, they're having crazy revenges, they're tearing apart your stuff, they're starting wars, they're telling you how they're going to kill you in detail, no self restraint, no consequences, nothing. Anger is theirs to do as they please with and in response the society is just, too scared to do anything, so they assume that this specific anger is 'justified' and 'cannot be helped'. However when victims of something are angry, then they're labelled as 'unreasonable' and 'dangerous' and 'unable to move on from things'. Their anger is a problem that needs to be squashed, erased, there's apparently no justifications for these people to be angry, nothing that is reasonable or okay for them to do about it, they just get demonized and shamed for having a completely rational response to injustice.

Is that it then? Those who are able to act out on their anger, get justifications and obedience, but those who are helpless but angry for very good reasons, are just to be suffocated? Anger is allowed only for some parts of human society and it's the most violent, destructive and dangerous part of it too? Where is this getting us? Is the amount of injustice ever going to decrease if we defend injustice, and fight for it to keep going on?

If I look up ways to express anger, I get stuff like 'anger management steps', and 'letting go and moving on from anger', like excuse me. I didn't even get to express 1% of my anger and I need anger management? I have never had problems with controlling my anger, the struggle is to get it out at all! To integrate it into my personality, to hold people accountable without having to think about it, to show resistance when I'm being stepped on! What anger management? Why am I pushed to move away from anger, I haven't even arrived to anger!

Why is it assumed that every person who struggles with expressing anger is a maniac breaking things, enacting revenges, trying to injure or murder people, lashing out and doing harm to everyone around themselves. I can guess why. Because all of the resources are created for people who are letting their anger run wild without a cap and who use anger to get their way. The world is adjusted for people who are allowed to be angry, who were never pushed to the point where getting angry meant loss of survival, where expressions of anger would lead to torture. I am apparently not even considered to exist. I'm either a maniac or not a target audience for anger resources.

If someone's been traumatized out of being able to feel angry, people don't think it's worth having this person angry. It's very obvious this person has giant reasons for anger, so if we let them feel it, they could become 'dangerous', or 'just like their abuser'. You know, being angry at the abuser does not make anyone like the abuser, it makes them Normal. Rational. Having Self Worth. Human. Logical. Reasonable. Engaging in everyone's best fucking interest because you know that abuser is going wreck havoc forever and if nobody is even angry at them, it's giving them an even easier time. Anger is scary when it's in hands of abusers, in the hands of victims it is liberating, just, it puts things into perspective and back where they belong.

Now give me the fucking resources to get angry. I'm sick and tired of hating myself.

[rawbin-hsr]

Hiiiiii!! Ehmm are your requests open? If they are, could you share your thoughts about aventurine NSFW headcanons in a romantic relationship? Hope I'm not asking for too much. If you don't want to no worries!! just ignore me hehe. Still, i wanted to tell you that I really love how you write aventurine, you made me wanna listen to all his voice lines again lmao. Anyway sorry for my english, it's not my mother tongue, and have a nice day!

A/N: Ok so I decided to separate this hc into two parts (both parts are in this post just a little separated !!) because half of it is me kinda digging into his brain a little with more general stuff and the other is just more specific kinks and scenarios and stuff like that for people who are only here for the freakiness *smirks* Didn’t go in depth about anything here but feel free to send in another ask if you want me to dig deeper into something more specific 🐺

I had penis-haver reader in mind, but nothing specific is stated so reader is technically gender neutral !!

─ ⊹ ⊱꒰☆꒱⊰ ⊹ ─

CWs first section: Self destructive tendencies, mentions of hard kinks (not enacted), Aventurine not setting up proper sexual boundaries, switch Aventurine but I focus on when he subs

CWs last section: lingerie (for both Aventurine and reader), sex toys, semi-public sex, phone sex, overstimulation

Only slight aftercare mentions because any deeper digging into that will get sad real quick and I kinda wanted to keep this as not-sad as possible, but I’d be happy to talk more about it in another ask !!

─ ⊹ ⊱꒰☆꒱⊰ ⊹ ─

Like most people I think Aventurine is pretty open to a lot of things, but I think he also has a lot of hard limits and a lot of boundaries he hasn’t really thought about himself yet

Hard limits include hurting you, you hurting him, anything with leather, anything that makes either of you bleed, most types of bondage (esp handcuffs), any roleplay that put either of you in a position of authority over the other

(These are limits you discover a little into the relationship, because at the beginning, Aventurine claims he’s okay with everything and he would keep claiming that if he wasn’t in a very loving and stable relationship. He only feels comfortable establishing those boundaries when you’ve made it clear it’s safe to do so. 🙁)

Idk if you want me to go in depth about those hard limits because I have Thoughts about all of them but I’m assuming you want to get your freak on so I won’t go into too much detail about it, if anyone wants me to elaborate on it though feel free to send in an ask !!

I think a really big downside with him is he doesn’t really know himself how far these limits go and he doesn’t always communicate about it either. Like he’ll think light spanking is fine but then you’ll notice he kind of freezes up if you go for it during sex and after he’ll only admit he didn’t like it if you kind of push him to 😭

I think he’s a switch. I hate to say this because I know it plays into the fandom’s tendency of like,, further feminising and sexualising effeminate men and making them “bottoms” and all that but I do think he has a sort of sub lean. Or like power bottom sort of ? A brat basically. It makes me feel kind of gross to call him by these terms considering what the fandom likes to do to him but I’m using it as shorthand forgive me 💀

Or maybe I’m projecting because I have Issues and will only ever read and write dom reader idk

Like I think he likes having control, but with a partner he genuinely loves, he finds so much comfort in sort of just falling back and letting you take the lead. It’s a nice break because in his day-to-day life, he either needs to be in perfect control constantly or, when he does lose control, it’s never something good and/or a sort of loss of control he purposely takes to in order to punish himself (like when he gambles. Sure there’s a good chance he’ll win, but can he be sure? He’s always afraid he’ll lose. It’s ultimately out of his hands, since he doesn’t cheat). With you, he’s safe when he does it. It is not a gamble, it is not a bet. You unquestioningly just take care of him and it just feels nice. 

At the same time, I think he won’t be as eager to let you lead at the beginning of your relationship. He doesn’t fully trust you so he won’t leave himself as vulnerable to you. Again, I think he has a lot of issues with control and power so that really plays into it. 

(Please god don’t take this as me saying that Aventurine is ‘naturally submissive’ or some weird shit like that I will ACTUALLY shoot myself !!!! I will commit I’ll do it !!!!!!)

I imagine his libido is pretty low in the beginning. He’ll go whenever you want to, sure, but he doesn’t initiate a lot. 

Quickly changes when he grows comfortable with you though. Once he actually really does love you he’d be more than happy to go like once a day or something wild like that he’s like an animal in heat for you dawg 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏

Happy to go at your pace though, because I really really don’t think sex is that important to him. I think he’d prefer to have sex (in the beginning because it’s exciting, and then once you two are closer it’s because the intimacy is nice), but I don’t think it would be a dealbreaker at all if you don’t wanna have sex much/at all. He’s got a hand lol

Freaky part below 😈 ngh

─ ⊹ ⊱꒰☆꒱⊰ ⊹ ─

I think he definitely prefers having more ‘playful’ sex most of the time. Passionate and exciting and high-energy, lots of flirting while you’re doing it too <3

I bet he’s so annoying bru teasing you and purposely saying things to get you riled up with a stupid cocky grin on his face 😒 I need him sooo bad

Enjoys dressing up sexy for you and enjoys it even more when you do it back for him. I knowww everyone says this but he’d love to buy you lingerie as random gifts every now and then. 

Loves toys. Whether you’re using them on him or he’s using them on you he’s game 😇 Fun way to switch things up !!

Ngh imagine using a vibrator on him,,, drooling,,,,,,,, anyways

Not above semi-public sex, but only when there’s barely any risk of really getting caught. Things typical for fanfiction LMAO like getting it on in a janitor’s closet. Just gotta be quiet and it should be safe, since the door’s got a lock.

Lotsss of phone sex for sure. Guy’s away a lot of the time, so if you’re okay with it he’s definitely not above sending/asking for nudes. Has a bad habit of calling you with little to no warning while he’s in the middle of masturbating too. 

Panting into the receiver, saying he needs you, begging you to talk him through it. Happy to switch to a video call if you ask for it. Super good at it too, getting the best angles and everything (unless he’s getting so desperate he doesn’t have the mind to remember things like that <3)

Doesn’t like edging LMAO he’s too impatient for that. Except every now and then and ngh it’s so rewarding once he does want it he gets soo needy so quick

Bet he enjoys overstimulation too,,, somebody put me in a mental hospital the image of him sooo fucked out he’s whimpering and drooling and mindlessly rutting up against you,,,,,,, shoot me like actually

Would fall asleep so quick after that. Barely even awake enough to put on his pyjamas after ugh he’s so cute :((

Would probably not want to wear it after anyways he likes the feeling of your bare skin against his own I bet

Make sure to cuddle and reassure him lots after you have sex tho he’ll need it. Getting him a bath and a meal wouldn’t be bad ideas either

Super sorry about how short this was I definitely think he has a lot more turn-ons and stuff that I just forgot to write here but I’m very bad at answering such broad questions my bad 😞😞 Feel free to send in more asks asking about more specific things !!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

/ book 7 spoilers

*politely grabs you by your shoulders* UEUEUEUJQKXNkxnsnnanzndnsmsmfmdmsmdm

hello... sorry... Leona rant... the guys theorizing that Kifaji stops Leona in his dream bc deeply he'd wish for someone to stop him... i think im going to cry. i wonder if him being such a bad king in his dream has to do with his own feelings- meaning he doesn't believe he'd be a good king? Idia explained that maybe Leona purposefully chose his dream to play out in a more realistic way, which would mean having consequences and such... even if it would be painful, he still went with it...

I think you had a post about this iirc, but this rlly pushes me to further believe that what Leona craves is valid recognition— people recognizing him for who he is and what he does, not idolizing him, just valuing him genuinely. I think there in reality he craves more that than the "king" title specifically— that's why the scene where Jack says that "he's not your (the shadows) king, he's our DORM LEADER" felt so special to me, bc Jack is doing exactly that. he's valuing him for being his dorm leader, a title Leona earned for himself. I think that ultimately that'd be more valuable for him than the king title itself, since one "is born" to fulfill that goal (and the whole reason he isn't king is because he was born second, again, things out of his control—) I think that's why this dream Leona isn't satisfied w having become king, bc at the end of the day he only got there bc Falena/Cheka died here. Some people theorize he pulled Scar tactics in the dream, but regardless of that, I don't think the "nature" of the position itself would satisfy his need to be seen, to be genuinely valued. BC WHAT HE CRAVES IS NOT *JUST* TO BE KING, IT'S TO BE RESPECTED FOR THE THINGS HE ACCOMPLISHED... also more proof that if he wants to help out in his country he needs to do it alongside Falena's ideals, bc apparently the only good thing his reign brought in his dream was... no more inflation 😭😭😭 which is good (guy who lives somewhere with too much inflation), but I mean... I think I'd prefer still having nature 😭😭😭

ALSO... and the way he SACRIFICES HIMSELF for Ruggie... AND THROWS HIMSELF TO THE DARKNESS... also his confrontation w his overblot feels much more... depressing? than the others'? ☹️ And and and... The line about him deciding the place he'll live in... ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ I'm in tears. Pls help.

and at the end he DID know he was dreaming, and he also suspected it before being 100% sure. so I guess our prediction was kind of right 😭

also UHM. THE OUTFIT??? AHHH URNWKDNFKSNSKSKKDKjfjwnnzdn sorry it's. the least important thing of what I wanted to say but he lOOKS SO PERFECT AHHH

[My full thoughts on the book 7 part 11 Leona update here!]

*is grabbed out of nowhere* 🧍‍♂️

NO BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING... dream!Kifaji is the only NPC/darkness in the dreams that didn't aggro and attack us 😭 In fact, he actively protects us and begs Leona to "wake up", continuously acting as the voice of reason the entire time... AND THEN SMILING AT THE END AND PRAISING "HIS KING" WHEN LEONA FINALLY FULLY WAKES UP... I feel like that definitely is not a happy coincidence. Deep down... some part of Leona's subconscious might have realized something was wrong, and maybe that manifested as Kifaji, the one person in his memories that could stand up to him. Not just because Kifaji is a stubborn old guy (although he is), not because he seems to be a competent mage, but because he must have been Leona's one and only friend and guardian growing up in the palace where the servants always shit talked him and compared him to his older brother. He raised Leona. He played with Leona. He encouraged Leona when his prince didn't believe in himself. He tried so hard to keep Leona from straying. He sees the goodness in Leona. He knows how intelligent Leona can be and how this can save their country. It makes total sense that Kifaji would be the form Leona's conscience assumes.

I feel like dream!Kifaji could also represent... that last shred of hope that Leona has for himself 💀 As late as book 6 of the main story, Leona states that Jamil isn't like him, hinting that while he believes Jamil has the capacity to change and be a better person, he doesn't have that same faith for himself. AND MAN, THAT SHIT WAS HEARTBREAKING OTL Then, entering his dream in book 7, we see just how deep that despair truly runs. Malleus promised everyone happy dreams, didn't he? And Leona has theoretically been given everything he has supposedly ever wanted. The crown, his kingdom, the power to enact all of the policies and laws he believes would benefit his people, wealth for his country, etc. But that has bled the country of its resources, made the people resent him--and he's still left bitter and unfulfilled, alone in the palace. This isn't what happiness truly looks like, but it sadly might be what Leona believes Sunset Savanna is destined for if he's left in charge of it. (Idia likens the dream to a sandbox game, and Leona, being the owner of it, decided to play it "realistically".) He can only become king if the rest of his family dies or goes missing. (This is even more morbid if you believe the headcanon that Leona committed fratricide and murdered/convinced Cheka to run away.) He'll achieve his goals, but at the cost of isolating himself and making himself a pariah. He and his people will starve to death. Everything he touches will crumble into sand. That's all he and his unique magic are good for, anyway. Destroying things, never creating or building them. AND HE STILL CONTINUES TO EXIST IN THIS WASTELAND, ACTING LIKE HE'S IN THE RIGHT AND LIVING IN DENIAL THAT ANY OF THIS IS HIS FAULT... while Kifaji, his conscience, his hope, is right there trying to get him to see reason.

Leona's dream was such a shock to see right after Jack and Ruggie's. The contrast between how he views himself and his rule vs how his dorm members see him and his rule is like NIGHT AND DAY. You got Jack here thinking of Leona as an upstanding and honorable dorm leader and team captain and Ruggie who dreams of a Leona who graduates and betters the lives of the entire country and the less fortunate by building schools and establishing magift/spelldrive clubs (which enhance Sunset Savanna's soft power). Then you have... whatever hellscape Leona has conjured up 😭 It's so sad that Leona pictured RUGGIE as being one of his most devoted haters too. Yeah, Ruggie sometimes complains about Leona running him ragged and how rich people have it easy compared to him, but Ruggie has never expressed this level of vitriol towards Leona before... yet in his own darn dream, Leona believes Ruggie would HATE him and try to overthrow him when that couldn’t be further from the truth. In Ruggie’s dream, he hasn’t even MET Leona before but still looks up to him for what he has accomplished and done to help the poor and the downtrodded 😭

I have mentioned before that I don't believe Leona needs to become an actual king in order to be happy (that post here!), and I think this most recent update proved my point. Jack points it out to us (in case we didn't already put together) that Leona is still miserable in spite of being gifted the crown and kingdom. Leona is still not satisfied. Even if he becomes king, he won't be satisfied. Even if he obtains everything he wants, he won't feel fulfilled. Never, ever, ever. AND THAT MAKES SENSE, because what Leona REALLY wanted all along wasn't the crown but the acknowledgement of his skills and talents... "proof" of his worth as an individual. I feel like the word "king" is thrown around a lot in regards to Leona, both in fandom and within his own dorm (Ruggie, Jack, etc. refer to him as their "king" quite often). However, it's not "king" that holds weight to Leona... it's everything that comes associated with the title. Respect, validation, love. These are all the things Leona got so little of as a child, which is why he fixates on them now. He has even expressed that he doesn't value the title of king if you didn't earn that title to begin with, which just goes to show that he wants to be able to prove himself and be seen for it. AND THE SAVANACLAW STUDENTS DO, AAAAAAAHHHAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHhHhhhHhhhhh OTL JUST LIKE JACK SAID, HE'S THEIR DORM LEADER...

As dark as Leona's dream was, I appreciate it a lot for its realistic depiction of... Leona's worse tendencies... along with a potential future under his command. I often see people claiming that Leona would be a far better ruler for Sunset Savanna than Falena is. And to that, well... I'd say look at Leona's dream and some of the points brought up in it. I don't think his rule would be as terrible as what we see in the dream, HOWEVER. The dream mentions many shortcomings of Leona as a ruler, such as disregarding traditions and refusing to listen to advisors and input from the people. This would naturally make him unpopular with the country he serves, and it certainly doesn't help that he is not amicable either. These are only a few points I brought up in my extensive post comparing Leona and Falena's ruling styles, which I would highly recommend reading. I want to stress that I am in no way saying Leona would be a bad ruler. I believe that he and Falena compensate for each other's weaknesses. This is why I feel that the best solution isn't a blanket "X brother would be better than Y brother!", but rather that they should work as a team and make the best use of each other's strengths.

adfaiifvifiaef efoubfia LEONA SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR RUGGIE I PRETTY MUCH SAW COMING 😭 Bro had to do something to make up for almost sanding him in book 2...

I really glossed over Leona's big confrontation with his Phantom in my initial reaction post, so I'd like to take the time to comment more on it here. A lot of what Leona tells his Phantom I felt was also the kind of advice he gave Jamil in book 6 (which only further reinforces the idea that he had hope for Jamil but not for himself). He dislikes people who complain about their situation but do nothing to change the circumstances... ALL TRUE OF BOTH HIM AND JAMIL. I think what makes Leona’s confrontation so different from the others we’ve seen so far is that while the others are more triumphant/telling the Phantoms how they’ve grown… Leona’s is sort of resigned? Like he still sees his negative traits (his pride, his underhandedness, etc.) and talks about how he has changed as a person but he also admits that this is his fault, that this bitterness and desire to be king will always remain will him. That’s fine—because Leona tells that darkness within himself that he’ll accept it too. (Jack does the same; his senpai are pretty awful but he chooses to accept them as they are.) I really loved that Leona swore to himself he’ll find his own throne and country… “Someday, for sure…!” It feels so hopeful after all that depressing stuff 😢 Reclaiming bis autonomy… Weh…………

asdbihabidbasdsa I still wish they had done a little more with Leona “knowing” it was a dream... Maybe making that "Kifaji is that part of Leona" more obvious or clearly stated because I feel like it could sail over people's heads? It might have also been interesting to see the blot try to suppress him like he's a feral beast that has to be kept under control 😔

DB SDABILASFIADFIAF tHAT DFUCKIBG SJHFBLADAD KING!L*ONa OUTFIT OTL TRHIS SI WHAT A MAN IN A SUIT IWiTH A HLAF CAPE THING AND SLICKED BACK HAIR DOES TO MEDFSKNLABIDBFIABIPEAFFQEIPYIBEUOF8TQEVOpfSBPsnjg 26871t9mg9qepgpeqomp9qvda bipivpada iegi THE EyE LOOK TOO ASDBLABSDSFIAFDI IT'S SCO CUn T Y AKJFHLBADGLBIHAGEIHGABIADGILBHWHICH IS REALLY WEIR FOR ME TO SAY ECUASE I USUALYL THINK THESE KINDS O EYE LOOKS ARE WAY TOO MUCH... . . ..... . . ........ . . .. . AnD TGE ExPOSED fOREHEADvv???!?!!!!!? HELLO ???!!!!!’mmcnNCCCVvV,cvvv???!!!!’nxhVahahshjwhzttTyqhwiau iTm anBEHGinG TO BE k!ssrd TOYcHEDF 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

THIS RICH BITCH IS OVER HERE IN A FANCY SU i TS 4 GOLD NECKLACES AND 3 RINGS WHILE HIS PEOPLE STARVE??????? DAMN NO WONDER WHY THEY WANNA EAT TH E RICH.

Side note: a friend pointed out that Leona's coat is basically a reused Octavinelle dorm uniform asset and, after checking... yeah, it basically is 😭 NOT THAT THERE'S ANYHTING WRONG WIH THAT, I just find it ironic because (in my own pseudo-lore) it reads like him trying so hard to be like J word and get my attention 💀💀💀 I AM AFRAID HE ATE AND LEFT NOC RUBMSN....

[longlivechips]

A drabble on what if Arthur repealed the magic ban while Merlin wasn't there. I like the idea of Arthur thinking Merlin will be mad, he said magic has no place in Camelot afterall. And Merlin being like shit I'm gonna have to start telling the truth.

A fic where Merlin goes to visit his mother for a few weeks. It's Yule and he misses her.

While he is gone a child comes to trial. Hardly 12 and clearly terrified. She had been caught using magic.

She swears she didn't mean to, that it just started happening one day and she was so scared of what was happening to her.

The law says she is to burn.

But Arthur just can't seem to make the call. He can only think of the girl Morgana used to be when he looks at her.

He speaks to Gaius and Geoffrey about what Camelot was like before the ban. How people square magic. He learns, for the first time, more than his father had ever let him.

He's thinking of......well not reversing the magic ban. But this girl can't be evil surely.

He wishes Merlin were here, his advice is often quite sound. But Arthur is unsure if Merlin, who has been so outspoken against magic in the past, would agree with such loose laws.

But it comes down to this. Arthur cannot in good conscience kill that girl. And he can not have her as an exception. So he changes the law.

Merlin hasn't spent this long in Ealdor since before he left. He finds it quite lonely without Will to cause trouble with.

But he finds he is not ostracized like he was when he was a boy. In fact, more often than not he has to dodge mothers pushing their daughters onto him as prospects.

He is in his mother's house trying bundles of herbs to be dried and taken back to Camelot when his mother rushes in.

She stairs at him for a moment. Eyes wide, something clearly about to spill off her toung.

"Mother?" Merlin says moving closer, " What's wrong what happened? Has goodie meridan gone into labor?"

"Merlin. My boy. We just received news from Camelot. Gaius sent a letter. I....." Her face is flush. She doesn't look scared but Merlins heart drops anyway

"Arthur...." Merlin starts

"He's fine, he's fine" Hunith walks towards her son, cupping his face in her hands.

She laughs. Full belly and full of joy, her hands on his face strong, they almost hurt.

"He repealed the magic ban Merlin. Oh my boy by royal decree"

Merlins knees nearly give out.

"Surely you aren't serious....." Merlin gasps. "Do you have the letter?"

She hands it over and he reads frantically.

My good Hunith.

I write you instead of Merlin for reasons that will become obvious.

I also just request more of that dried lavender you sent last time, it does not smell the same from the north.

How is your neighbor Gregory fairing with his leg? My tonic recipe helped I hope, I would like to hear how it went.

There is news from Camelot. You might have heard, it will make fast news I'm sure.

A girl was brought to court for magic. Hardly 12 summers, she swears she did not train for magic, that it came naturally and she has no control.

Arthur was hesitant to burn her, despite the law, and tasked me with examining her.

I explained my findings, you know my friend how truly common it is to have magic as the girl does. Arthur listened well, and I sent the king off with what recommendations I could.

There are few books left on the subject but he spoke to Geoffrey. I assume he found some enlightened reading.

The next day, his verdict was as follows.

"The law of the land, as set by my Father King Uther, is that magic has no place in Camelot. I quite agree. Magic is dangerous, it has raveged my family.

But I can't help but think these laws might create more enemies. I cannot kill a girl for a crime she did not willingly commit. But I cannot banish her and create an enemy."

The council spoke on formal matters and specifics but Hunith, it is looking well. I feel hope I haven't had in decades.

Arthur has repealed the magic ban, in part. There are specifics to be worked out, and it is unclear if it would apply to Merlin. It certainly wouldn't apply to myself.

I will write again when I have more details.

I wish I could see the boy's face when he hears the news. Give him my love

Gaius

Merlin reads it. Than again. The third time he skims it he is tearing up. Looking desperately for any sign that Gaius tells a lie.

When he finds none, and there is no answer but that Gaius's words are true.

Merlin weeps. He falls to his knees and weeps.

Hunith cradles his head, spilling some tears of her own.

"oh my boy" she says. "What news. I knew Arthur would be a good king." She presses a kiss to her son's head.

Merlin cries, and wonders why he feels more scared than ever.

[butterfly-ribbon]

thinking about the kamikou festival event again and how it conveys the tone and atmosphere of the school while showing the constant transmisogyny microaggressions mizuki lives with every day so well, and this phone call with an drives me insane bc even though an is genuinely well-meaning and is trying to ensure that mizuki knows that today is a safe day for her to come to school due to the circumstances of the festival, the way she words this is very discomforting bc she's basically saying "nobody is going to notice that you're dressed as a girl today bc everyone is wearing wacky outfits!" which carries the unfortunate implication that the way mizuki presents herself is equally wacky in a way that reinforces everything ppl say about her, but this isn't easy for her to push back against bc she doesn't have a good enough 'excuse' to do so when this is one of the few ppl who go out of their way to accommodate her even if they don't fully get it? it's thoughtful of an to want to reassure her but also it's another little thing that others fail to understand. she's trying to be kind but even then mizuki feels somewhat pushed into a corner. she's very bad at actively saying No. and an has removed her ability to misdirect here bc an is speaking with ambiguity.

mizuki also being too anxious about the idea of changing her clothes in school bc she's terrified of the possibility of being caught and thus having her body perceived by others... that's also another reason she'd hate being at school. gym and changing for it … i'd wager mizuki skips almost every gym class bc she can't stand the idea of being forced to change amidst boys, but she's also not allowed into the girls' locker room… literally only has the option to go to the roof if she wants to change. she's so hyper cognizant of her body and being seen … and the worst part is, she likes to be seen under her own circumstances and control (which is one of the many reasons she's very passionate abt fashion, and a lot of trans ppl in fiction tend to have an attachment to fashion and styling which makes a lot of sense bc of the element of control over one's appearance and making a self one can love). she really does. it just … happens that she knows she has so little control.

i've read the vbs main story (and a bit of their events but i need to continue whoops) and this makes me appreciate mizuki's brief interaction with kohane and an here more, bc it's obvious in this moment that kohane is just being her usual self—anxious around other ppl she's not familiar with and this is something she wants to improve upon (which as far as i can tell is the conceit of her character arc as an underdog of sorts compared to the others in her group). but mizuki assumes that she has to be uncomfortable with her specifically (presumably due to her transness) bc of her experiences, so she immediately feels bad about 'taking up space' and decides to make up an excuse to get away from the situation to give kohane the chance to comfortably hang out with her friend. and the fact that mizuki goes out of her way to say that she's going to find a place to hide alone is interesting bc the way it's framed it doesn't sound like it means much, but it feels deliberate on her part, like she wants an to know... mizuki's internal world and where we see she has internal bias and how she blames herself or assumes she herself is the problem if she can't make others comfortable, and she takes so much upon herself all the time bc she's used to constant microaggressions and either can't say how she truly feels or has to divest what she feels from its context to make it palatable. but of course kohane is not transphobic, she is someone who has trouble socializing with strangers bc of her own anxiety that has nothing to do with mizuki herself, but mizuki doesn't have access to this perspective like the reader so it's easy for her to assume that she's the problem. it's paranoia but it's understandable considering how she's treated by almost everyone...

[warmthofu]

Magnolia

Pairing: Jeff x GN Reader

Summary: You arrive. Jeff tries to avoid you. He fails. 

AN: This is just a test, I haven't written in ages lol.

TWs: Mentions of gore, blood, and animal death. Only mentioned in a few sentences but plz read with caution if you're sensitive to those themes.

-

“Are you listening to me? Jeffery.” 

He blinked up at Slender, eyes scanning his superiors ‘face’ with confusion. 

“Someone new?” 

Slender straightened his back, a small huff leaving him. “Precisely. Now, I won’t be forcing you to greet them yet, but should you happen upon them, please try your best to be cordial.” 

Jeff resisted the urge to roll his eyes, hand lifting to tuck a piece of loose hair behind his ear. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d had someone new. In fact, he might have been the most recent resident and he’d arrived years ago. He was just a child then, chubby faced and tear stained. That period of time felt like something from a horror movie playing in the background, not something he’d actually experienced first hand. He watched himself go to new places and meet new people from inside himself, finding comfort in the detachment. Took ages for Slender to get his night terrors under control and even longer for him to make friends. Turns out regularly being subjected to the sounds of someone's scream every night for several months made you want to steer clear of them. He still thinks of how everyone would turn back when they encountered him in the hallway. 

“Fine.”

-

“Met them yet?” Ben said behind him, the back door screeching as it opened from within. Jeff sat on the steps, having just brought his shoes outside with brand new laces. His fingers gingerly ripped the old laces from their loops, a can of coke sat beside him. This specific spot was one of his favorites; close to home but distant enough from the others when he wanted some space. 

“No.” he replied, making space for Ben when he stepped down and sat on the other side of him. Ben grabbed his coke for a small sip. 

“They’re nice, it’s fuckin’ weird.” he chuckled, setting the can back down. Jeff gestured with his head to the can, hair swinging softly. “Gimme some.” he said, hands busy untangling the new laces. Ben lifted the can to his lips as he leaned forward, only to push the can further into Jeff's face, causing liquid to spray over his mouth and neck when he exhaled violently in response. A giant laugh escaped Ben as he used his hands to lightly cover himself, ready for the gentle beating he would get in return. Jeff released the laces to give a smack to the back of Bens head as the blonde laughed, a tiny grin on his own face. 

“Dickhead!” he jeered as he used his shirt to wipe the bottom of his face, bits of hair now wet with the sugary drink. Wiping his soaked hands onto his jeans, he tried his best to get the sticky solution off them. Ben picked up the now empty can and tossed it in the small garbage bin near the steps. It hadn’t always been there but Jeff assumed someone got tired of his constant littering and hoped a place to put his trash would stop this; oddly enough it did. 

“You should just introduce yourself, get it outta the way, ya know.” Ben started, a smile still dancing on his features. Jeff rolled his eyes for what must’ve been the third time that day. Had it been anyone else, he would have told them to fuck off, but Ben was something like family (when they weren’t fighting). Not exactly his other half but still a big part of his life. The word he was looking for was on the tip of his tongue, but it gave him flashes of wailing and caked mud that he didn’t want to think about. They would still get violent with each other from time to time but Jeff would undoubtedly be crushed if anything ever happened to Ben.

“Why do you even care?” he groaned, wrists now resting on either knee, hands dangling like a character on a Black Ops cover. Another laugh came from Ben.

“Dude, I’ve seen you kill entire groups of people but you don’t wanna meet someone new?”

He hated when Ben made sense.

Jeff had performed countless tasks for Slender at this point, all ugly and grueling work. Bled people like lambs into gas canisters to pour their blood down hotel sinks. Dumped ashes into local fire pits. Sliced peoples mouths down to their ears so he could rip their teeth from their mouths easier. Taken out countless dogs just trying to protect their owners. But what made him queasy was the thought of a new housemate. Then again, he was a creature of habit, what could he say? He had gotten so used to being around the same group of people for years that a new arrival threw a wrench in his comfort. 

Ben stood, wiping the back of his pants with his palms. He went back up the steps and opened the door.

“Where’re you goin’?” Jeff questioned, before resuming what he was doing with his laces. “Slender needs me to look for something, see you later dude.” Ben said behind him, the door squeaking as he went through. Jeff didn’t reply. He heard the door swing gently, rusted hinges groaning as the wind moved it. They really needed to fix that squeak. Jeff was tempted to fix it himself but he feared that would cause a domino effect of him having to repair other stuff around the house. The grating sound continued behind him and he spread his legs further, making room for the pair of shoes in front of him. He started to loop the new laces through and weave them to his liking.

The squeaking of the door suddenly stopped, the air shifting behind him. He heard footsteps whose pattern he didn’t recognize. Whipping his face back, he locked eyes with a complete stranger. 

You.

His hand instinctively dove for the switchblade in his pocket, only hesitating to pull it out when he realized that you had to have passed Ben on your way there, meaning you weren’t an intruder.

You were the new one.

He took in a sharp breath, caught by surprise and unsettled by the fact that he had almost pulled a knife on you.

Slenders words rang in his mind.

Play nice, be cordial.

Don’t fuck it up like you always do, was the underlying message.

You gripped the edge of the door like your life depended on it, clearly startled by his appearance. 

“Hi.” you greeted softly, your tone lowering his defenses ever so slightly. 

“Hey.” he responded, almost laughing at how gravelly his voice sounded in comparison to yours. You both stared at each other for a moment before you broke eye contact. Your eyes darted across his face and arms, taking in the various scars and burns that littered his skin. He resisted the urge to shield himself. A small crinkle and his attention shifted to your arms, realizing you were holding a bouquet of magnolias. A welcoming gift from Slender, no doubt. The bright petals caused the light hitting them to softly illuminate your face.

Stepping back into the house with one foot, your hand, still clasped around the door, moved to close it. He breathed a small sigh of relief, thankful he hadn’t had the opportunity to embarrass himself. Still, he couldn’t help himself.

“Well, don’t leave now, sweet thing. Don’t you know it's bad manners to leave without sayin’ goodbye?” he commented sarcastically before turning back to his laces. He finished the first pair and grabbed the other half. He waited to hear the door close behind him. It didn’t. 

“It’s also bad manners to correct someone else's bad manners.” you replied behind him. He turned back to face you with a grin, a small furrow in his brow at your abrupt assuredness. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.” you nodded, the ghost of a smile on your lips. You still hid half of yourself with the door but didn’t break eye contact this time. 

Interest piqued, he rose to his feet, tossing his shoes aside. With two big steps, he planted himself directly in front of you. His body blocked the light from reaching you, darkening the space around you. He silently revelled in the fact that he towered over most people, including you. 

Your shoulders bristled at the sudden closeness, but you refused to shrink, feet firmly planted where they had been the entire interaction. You gestured to yourself, finally giving your name. It bounced around in his thoughts for a second.

"Jeff." he said with a tiny nod in return, wet strings of charcoal hair bobbing with the movement.

"I know." you said with a knowing smirk, adjusting the flowers in your grip, cellophane crunching underneath your fingertips.

To that, he crossed his arms, eyes widening slightly. "Huh?"

Had Slender sent you his way? Forced an interaction to see how he'd react? Was this a test? He felt his arms tighten around himself as he questioned your intention. 

"They were warning me about you."

They? 

“And what exactly were they warning you about?” he pressed, leaning in closer, his voice ending in a quietly insidious whisper. 

“That you were a bad influence.” you whispered back, matching his energy with a tiny grin on your face. 

A cackle escaped him, his palm coming up to cradle his jaw before looking back down at you. You held those flowers like they were sacred. You didn’t slam the door and run as soon as you saw his face. He already found himself getting used to your presence. Maybe a newcomer wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

[moodymisty]

So I actually have a 'Uriel Ventris has a kid' story written, If this goes well I'll post more.

---------------------------------------------------

Taking in the scene before him, there was only one thought in Roboute Guilliman's mind; This is all Belisarius Cawl's fault.

He was over 10 millennia old and he had seen some of the worst things the Galaxy had to offer, from competition from other species, betrayal by his own brothers, and the eldritch Tumors called Gods. He didn't believe that anything could surprise him anymore.

And yet, here he was sitting dumbstruck before a baseline woman, three of his sons, and a tiny human who seemed to be the only one enjoying all of this.

He cleared his throat, "So, ma'am, can you care to explain how you ended up having your charge?" He pointed at the little boy, only for said child to pipe up, "My name is Apollo!"

The woman's cheeks coloured despite her dark complexion, "I apologize on his behalf my lord, he does not know what he is saying." The boy was about to speak up, only for his mother to put her hand over his mouth, muffling his voice.

"Yes, now about young Apollo here." Guilliman continued, a part of him wanted to laugh at the small child's antics, but he had a job to do.

Isadore composed herself, she was in front of a primarch, she cannot disappoint him, especially for Apollo's sake.

"Lord Belisarius Cawl had recruited me to assist on a project, and as my family considered it a great honor, I went with him. I assumed that I would be a servant in his lab, cleaning up after his experiments. However, it seemed that he had a different idea in mind."

Her blush deepened, the implications making everyone uncomfortable.

Roboute wanted very badly to smack Cawl for tricking her in such a way. "I see, do you know who his father is?"

Isadore shifted in her seat, "I was not privy to much of the details of the experiment, but from what I could gather, his father was an astartes from the Ultramarines Chapter."

She really didn't know what else to say, before being fooled by Cawl, she was a rather simple seamstress from an Agriworld. She wasn't considered particularly beautiful either, with plain brown hair, eyes, and skin. A bit taller than average, which was her only stand out feature, but that was cancelled out by her rather ugly freckles marrying her face and body.

Never in her life did she think that she would have a child fathered by an Astartes, for one, she thought that it would be impossible for Space Marines to father children at all.

"I see," the primarch's eye seemed to develop a twitch, he didn't realise that when he gave Cawl the orders to research Primarch virility, he should've been more specific as to where to stop. "We will have the young lad her genetically tested to find his father, then we will regroup and decide how to move forward. Uriel, please escort our guest here to one of the serf quarters so that she may take some rest."

She watched as a tall marine with short, cropped, straight black hair with startling blue eyes nodded and motioned for her to follow him.

She bowed before the primarch and left the room, her child looking up at her curiously.

As they made their way down to the serf quarters, Uriel couldn't help but sneak glances at her, she was beautiful in a down to earth way. Gorgeous chocolate colored hair, clear skin, and deep brown eyes. Her height giving her a matronly aura and her full lips seemed soft.

He tried to push the thoughts away. Their father had recently revealed to them that he was going to give them a choice to have offspring to bolster the Imperium's numbers of neophytes.

He didn't know how to feel about that, but as part of this decision, marines were made to go through intense hypno brainwashing to return to them their more base urges.

Uriel hated how they made him feel like an out of control animal. He didn't like not having full control of his thoughts. Besides, the last thing the poor woman would want is to be harassed by astartes when she had already gone through so much.

He secretly admitted to himself that any astartes who fathered her child was a lucky man.

---------------------------------------------------

This is basically how the story would go, as Isadore and Uriel grow closer to each other and some shocking reveals as to whose soul Apollo has in him.

Also, yes, Uriel has a thing for Milfs. Isadore has low self esteem as she wasn't considered attractive in her culture, and Cawl only saw her as an acceptable carrier for astartes children.

So, yeah, tell me how you guys feel about this.

added your second post to this one so it's all together <3

the 'i don't know the father' mystery! it's a classic XD and poor guilliman having yet another weird thing to deal with on top of all the other weird things in 42m XD

[shinystealingbirb]

Some thoughts on Yanqing

I don’t quite know how or if Yanqing was shown in Honkai Impact, but I’d like to talk about my understanding of him.

Biiiiiiig cut.

I assume many think he’s a flat character. He’s a child prodigy who arrogantly took on two immortals leagues more powerful than himself, and couldn’t get over his loss. Right? Who went out seeking some strange person, who Jingliu almost treats like an amusing pet, who tried to shortcut his way to total mastery. Who desires a title of a championship rather than the art itself. That’s the mark of a flat character- no displayed motivation, and traits we’re told, rather than shown, exist.

This is what the game explicitly tells us. In fact, it takes pains to push this narrative, and in my opinion, it’s specifically because he’s never in our party. To Stelle, or Caelus, or whoever you play as, Yanqing will always be on the other side. He faced Dan Heng and Blade, who we controlled. He duelled Stelle and Kafka. Faced us under the voluntary control of a heliobi. The only time we control him is when Yanqing battles Jingliu, and even then, he was canonically alone. To the Trailblazer, he is a child. An irritatingly strong one, but a child nonetheless, ultimately a footnote in their journey.

So that’s what the game says. But I want to talk about what the game doesn’t really put out there as much, but becomes more obvious the more we encounter Yanqing.

It’s a little hard to explain- I got a kick in the balls when I went through the Fyxstroll Garden quests and got to Yanqing, but I’ll explain that in a moment. For now, allow me to begin with a brief explanation of his character in the way I see it, rather than what the game has taken pains to show us.

He’s a winner- all he’s done is win, and he is young. It’s all he’s known, training and success. He’s showered with praise that he easily tires of, and the General is the only one he spars with that consistently defeats him. This praise is the expectation, the norm. You must win can be a hell of a motivator.

So when he loses to Dan Heng and Blade, it rocks his fucking world. He had no idea where he was in terms of power- really, the only thing he had to compare himself to was Jing Yuan, and the gap there is enormous. He got a taste of a true life-or-death scenario, as opposed to the competition he’s accustomed to, and according to the heliobus, the two immortals- who are way out of his league- left him teetering on the brink of death.

In an attempt to discover his prowess, something outside of the meaningless praise and predictable spars with Jing Yuan, he was absolutely ripped apart by an undead Hunter and a reborn Elder. The worst part? The heliobus in the Fyxstroll quest says he would’ve died “if the hunter’s blade pierced him,” which could quite possibly mean Blade was holding back. Given he was in a rush to beat the shit out of Dan Heng, I doubt it, but it is a possibility that would add salt to the wound- being defeated without being cut once by Blade, only using the flat side of his sword to almost kill him?

So he’s aching from that loss. He got fucked up and knows exactly where he stands, and that’s the single greatest defeat he’s suffered in his life.

For some children, for those who began or became skilled, who build and build and gather ourselves, trying to fight good to become great, a fear we have to overcome is failure. And failure is the single more horrifying concept to a gifted child, the absolute worst outcome.

A normal person fails. Oh well. Time to move on with life.

A competitive or gifted child fails, it means something. It means the effort put in, every single move spent in our lives, every thought, every moment of practice or rest, even if not working on that skill specifically, was a waste of a life, and as failures, that child, too, is a waste. Failure is like death. The way I can best describe the feeling… your heart clenches. Cold sweat, a sudden mental blank. A spider crawls up your throat, and with every step your throat grows tighter, the sense of dread closer and closer until the spider has made its way up to your stinging nose, your tearing eyes, and you are humiliating yourself with those tears.

It’s hard for people who do not understand this to be empathetic. To these people, a loss like this is just a loss. Things like “you’ll get them next time” or “they were out of your league” are said, and these things will never be consolations.

We, the Trailblazers, do not understand why Yanqing goes back to it in his thoughts so often, why it is a pivotal moment for him, why it appears in his character lines, and why he speaks about that battle so ruefully. It was inevitable, we think, that he would lose, isn’t it?

Shouldn’t he know he would never have beaten him?

Of course he knows.

But Yanqing is a child. For all his power, all his cheer and skill, he is a child. He’s gifted, and loss stings really fucking bad if you’re gifted, if you’ve won and won and already realized that praise is false and results are king (his trace voiceline sounds so sarcastic when he speaks of praise.)

Now: we can go over Jingliu and Stelle’s battles if you wish- more salt in the wound, to twist the knife just a little more(loser, loser, loser)- but by far our most interesting encounter with Yanqing is in the Fyxstroll Garden quest.

He’s possessed by a heliobi who claims- and delivers- that he can teach any weapon and advance the soldier to a warrior beyond compare. Despite the memory-wiping effects of the heliobi after possession, I believe said possession- at least for this one- is voluntary.

After all these losses, Yanqing finds a spirit who pushed a Cloud Knight into something lethal, and the spirit tells him, “I have seen your losses, I see them inside your head. Offer me your sword; offer me your allegiance, your body, and I will make you great.”

Knowing he was almost killed for his naivety, knowing he has been painted as the enemy, knowing he has won and won for his entire gifted life, right up until he hasn’t… why do you think he takes it? Of course he’s desperate, of course there’s a nagging doubt, a painful needling that tells him hes not enough anymore, nothing is enough. Of course he allowed himself to be possessed.

After all, praise is empty. Results are king.

The real kicker comes when Jing Yuan gets there.

I think Jing Yuan’s reaction to Yanqing’s possession says a lot. He’s not surprised it was him, nor how easy it was to get into his head. He knows these things, understands they are part of growth and motivation. He is only disappointed because Yanqing has allowed himself to cheat, to find the shortcut.

He arrives at the island, and so calmly he says “Yanqing would never lift his sword against me.”

Yanqing raises his blade. And then he turns to the heliobi and demands a duel. He proceeds to rip the false Yanqing apart with all the speed and precision that Blade and Dan Heng dueled him with.

I’ve seen people talk about how Yanqing was put in a loaded situation. That his choice was made based on disappointing one teacher over the other. It’s not an unreasonable claim, but a shallow one, i based on the surface teacher-student dynamic and taking nothing the heliobi or Yanqing said into account.

It comes down to the choices he has: in that example, his choices are loyalty to a heliobi he only just met, or a teacher he’s known since he was a little kid. In this perspective, the choice is obvious.

This one is not an incorrect perspective, merely an incomplete one. I think the complete choice was as follows: Instant power from an unpredictable, harsh master, one who is asking strange things of him- attack your friends, attack your previous master, don’t you want power?!- or turn back to the training he feels he’s outgrown, mentored by a man who he holds in such high regard and, if his voice lines are any indication, would trust with his life in an instant.

He’s braver than I am for choosing Jing Yuan’s side. Yanqing’s been shown to have an honorable teacher, but we have not seen him put in a situation where he has to prove it. We couldn’t confidently say what he’d do.

This quest displayed his desperate side. The heliobi had already exploited it, promised and delivered power. The heliobi proved it could be trusted, for that at least. Jing Yuan is a trusted mentor, almost a father figure, but those methods led to failure at the most critical of times. This undoubtedly crossed his mind- it certainly crossed mine as I played through that quest- and I genuinely thought I’d have to fight him again.

Frankly, I’m astounded he chose Jing Yuan, and that surprise made, at least to me, made him feel complete.

Yanqing is a child, with a child’s complex emotions and weaker understanding. He is cheerful and confident, a trait easily confused with arrogance. He is competitive. His worth is based on his prowess with a sword. He knows praise is empty and results are king. He is desperate, but more than that he is loyal beyond his own desires, honorable to a fault, which is more than I could say about most adults, much less myself.

He’s flawed and requires a certain prerequisite to understand. Yanqing feels childish in a different way than Hook and Clara, in motivations rather than actions. He feels human, and I really like his character

[lime-bloods]

i would LOVE a post on that. i have been thinking extensively about pitch romance and how deeply, cruelly toxic it is and how quadrants are in general. a lot of stuff is based in karkat's pov on it (and karkat is like. sooo biased love the guy to death but he is SO BIASED!!!) but sometimes it's in the narration and the existence of auspisticism & the fact that quadrants potentially existed on beforus trips me up as well...

this is a great question! and I suppose "the beginning" is probably the best place to start for a post about this, after all.

it's important to be aware that when we think of Beforus as a planet that is "good", this is not necessarily because it is wholly good by our own standards or even by the author's standards, but because it is good within Homestuck's philosophy, that the "good" is that which is "true" or "real", rather than what is "true" necessarily being good. to put this in another way - which I've only just recently begun to fully understand myself - Beforus being free of Lord English's corruption doesn't mean it's free of problems, just that it's problems are "real" problems, as opposed to fictional problems; they're reflective of problems we have on Earth.

pivotally, Beforus still has systems of gendered oppression, and in that sense it's clear how the intrinsically gendered violence of Alternia's quadrants would find their own place in Beforan society. it's just that in this context, these dynamics arise as part of complex sociological phenomena over thousands of years and aren't put in place solely for a specific purpose by an omnipotent time god, and as such won't necessarily manifest themselves in the exact same ways, or necessarily be "as bad". as with so many things in Homestuck, it's the idea at the core of the concept that's most important; kismesissitude and matespritship on Beforus should be recognisably the same idea as the quadrants on Alternia, just as they are recognisably the same "quadrants" practised by cherubs and humans, despite all of these arising from vastly different and largely disconnected cultural contexts.

the tendency for the same ideas to reliably bubble up to the surface again and again in different contexts is a central law of Homestuck's metaphysics: in the words of the reliable Doc Scratch, "there is essentially nothing new in paradox space." and it's relevant that Scratch is the one to relate this truism, because therein lies a crucial different in connotation between "storyteller" and "narrator"; it is not a narrator's job to invent new ideas, but rather to spin their own interpretation of what has already happened. this is why Scratch's ancestor stories are "troll fanfction"; he's writing an AU of characters who already lived on Beforus. we can only assume that, in the same vein, in "creating" Alternia's quadrants Scratch merely took those parts of Beforus that were convenient to his vision and amplified them to be all-important. (alchemy, as described by 9th century author Jabir ibn Hayyan, was the transmutation of one material into another by manipulating qualities that already existed within all matter, pushing some into the background and pulling others into the fore.)

it's easy to think of auspisticism, meanwhile, as unique among the quadrants in that it superficially seems to provide a service that is beneficial to all involved, and certainly towards Act 6 a lot of the children seem very interested in interpreting it this way. but in the narrative context in which it's introduced to us, I think it's clearly much more about control. as far as the ashen quadrant is concerned, what happens to the participants themselves is inconsequential; a successful ashen quadrant merely upholds the social idea of monogamy by stemming "widespread black infidelity." which is on its own a patently absurd idea: fidelity enforced by the race who practice punishable-by-death polygamy in order to mix all of their genes together in a single pool?! yes, it makes sense within the context of a nonsensically complicated alien reproductive process, but the nonsensical complicatedness of it all is entirely the point; the quadrants are designed to intersect in ways that not even the trolls themselves could ever fully understand. just as it's often impossible for a troll to distinguish between feelings that are platonic, pale or red, when Eridan attempts to "spark a rivalry wit)( [Sollux] to get [Feferi] to auspisticize [...] and pull us out of our quadrant" it's "t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book" precisely because it's the quadrant working exactly as intended! all of the quadrants serve to make relationships messier under the guise of making them more structured because messy relationships make for a great story, which is Alternia's fundamental purpose.

I think the Karkat point is worthy of another post deconstructing all the quadrants more broadly, because a lot of different things have been said about it already and it's worth getting into, but straightforwardly I think it must be understood that Karkat and "the narration" have fundamentally the same bias; the narrative wants us to take Alternia seriously because Alternia as a machine is a construction of the narrative for the purposes of the narrative, and Karkat wants us to take Alternia seriously because he's a massive stooge who has made his whole life's purpose out of buying into that narrative.

[hellodaydream1111111111111111]

Okay so here’s some more of my Ted talk, Illumi’s (one sided) relationship with Killua.

Illumi loves Killua but it’s deeper than that he’s obsessed with him, I think he loves Killua as a brother sure but he’s also jealous of Killua. Killua has everything Illumi could ever want and more. Their entire family adores Killua he’s their golden child, he’s the next heir to the family, his dad doesn’t get mad at him for breaking the rules he actually encourages it as long as he fulfills his purpose; to be the heir. In the Zoldyck family praise and attention is one of the many problems, if you stand out from the rest of your siblings you get the most attention. It’s a be the best get the best mentality so the kids are encouraged to push themselves, do whatever it takes just to be better than your siblings. I don’t wanna say it didn’t apply to Killua but he had so much potential that he didn’t have to try. Illumi had to try see this through the story in the Hunter exam for example Illumi sits at the front, he sits up straight he pays attention he does his best. Killua is also able to stand up to his parents, all the Zoldycks have been conditioned to blindly trust their parents but Killua breaks free of that. Illumi wasn’t able to do that.

Illumi understands why Killua is going to be the heir but it still makes him jealous, however he is unable to recognize his feelings as jealousy and perceives them as love. It’s not only that he is jealous of Killua he genuinely wants to be Killua but, he can’t so he tries to do the next best thing; control Killua. It doesn’t work so he uses nen. Illumi is so deep in his rabbit hole of hatred, jealousy, love, admiration and expectation. He loves Killua because he is his brother, he hates Killua because everyone loves Killua and Killua didn’t have to earn it, he’s jealous of Killua because he is everything he wants to be and he’s expected to love and train Killua, he’s expected to not have these other feelings.

Killua escaped the hell that his the Zoldyck mansion but Illumi didn’t. Killua isn’t fully broken down yet, in the Hunter exam Killua has the same feelings towards Gon. He wonders why everyone likes Gon because he’s not as strong as Killua but for some reason they all love him but Killua also likes him because he was nice to him, because he’s a good person. Killua and Illumi are actually very alike and Killua knows this. Illumi is also

The Zoldyck family dynamic is rooted in the characters trauma, it’s a cycle. Milluki is part of it however he is not as present because he recognizes he doesn’t like Killua.

The parents messed up Illumi and Milluki because that’s what they were told to do by their parents. (Okay new thought on this, Kikyo had Illumi at 18 and since she wasn’t born into the family she probably had to undergo training as well and that’s why she’s such a suffocating mother, she wanted to prove herself to the Zoldycks so she did the training would be my assumption anyway so I’m assuming she is also a victim but she still messed the children up bad along with her crap husband)

Illumi messed up Killua by not understanding his own emotions because the parents messed him up.

Killua messed up Alluka ( and Kalluto indirectly) by abandoning her, it was the best option but it still probably gave her abandonment issues.

And Alluka messed up Kalluto by being Killuas favorite. (It was not her fault more Killuas but Alluka is who Kalluto blames.)

Illumi is also jealous of Gon but he can recognize that because Gon isn’t related to him, he isn’t supposed to love Gon so he can hate him.

Illumi cannot be the Zoldyck heir because his nen is specifically made for manipulation and quickly killing something yes he can fight but it’s easily countered, Killuas nen is more broad and has a lot more uses in terms of he can fight a lot more opponents with a better chance of winning, Illumi it a very strong manipulator proved by Shalnark who says that a manipulator can’t use their nen if they don’t have their object (Illumi’s needles) which we see Illumi do York new when turning into Hisoka.

Anyway therapists in Hunter x Hunter are working overtime.

The Zoldyck family dynamic is so sad and I mean you can see it on the surface but going deeper into it, it just gets worse. I want to make it clear that NONE of the Zoldyck children are to blame they do not know any better and that Alluka didn’t do anything it’s just the way Kalluto perceives it. This doesn’t excuse what they’ve done but it makes sense of it at least.

Ps—

if anyone wants to make a hate squad for Kikyo and Silva I’m totally down.

Pps-

let me know if I missed anything

[deafsignifcantother]

if music be the food of love, chapter two

♥ here you go lovies, it's series time | chapter one, chapter three ♥ relationships: aroace Alastor x deaf female reader (queerplatonic to romance) ♥ word count: 2.8k ♥ pinterest board ♥ notes: reader is known for wearing dresses, reader has a tendency to squeeze her fists which causes her to bleed so it's kinda selfharm but it's not on purpose ♥ tagged here based on comments from first post: @abbyismywife @temptressofthetarrot

When he notices your bent fingers clawing at your palm, he politely puts his hand over yours. His eyes remain forward as if he didn't even move. It takes everything in you not to lean your head against Alastor's shoulder while you walk side by side. Your former position as an overlord operates you more than whatever affection you have. You slip your hand away from him, keeping them at your side, being conscious about not clawing at yourself. This close, with your shoulders nearly touching, you can bask in the moment of publicity.

You last walked through the public many years ago, in the days before you isolated yourself, you and he would walk side by side to the overlord meetings, signing drama and making fun of the annoying people in your lives. You remember how much he used to make you smile by enacting his killings in perfect (and rather specific) motions. He told those stories over breakfast, no matter where the two of you were. 

Hell has changed a lot. The colors are brighter. From your little house in the forest, the red sky was all you could see; there were no blues and purples and pink. Alastor's ears were particularly stiff in this area, primed for a threat. You try to ignore it, not showing any emotion that can spark conversation. You're tired of hearing about the V's. It seems the V's have got hold of Pentagram City; how scary is that? They still reek of impertinence and idiocy.  

Alastor's used to having eyes on him when he's out and about, but today is different. Eyes dart between him and you, some demons grimacing while others speedwalk away. People hear your music over the sound of his static. It's odd, why are your songs so pleasant now? Before, demons would physically push you out of buildings and cover their ears whenever you walked by. The tunes from you either reeked of aggression or grief, equally miserable. 

One would assume that now, Alastor was controlling that little stereo in the center of your chest, which is far from the truth, lest the thought of metaphorically.

There is absolutely no way you would want to know whether the strangers on the street were staring at you in fear or with sadistic pleasure at your happiness.

A part of your brain thinks they're staring at you because of your outfit. You had no plans for going out today and didn't bother to prepare a gown for the walk (certainly not through this��terrain). Your little getup is the most casual common folk have seen you. 

Oh, how you've changed.

Again you have to come into the present to stop yourself from clawing, Alastor would be worried, perhaps doing something as idiotic as touching you again, no matter how light. 

You stare at the ground while the the sidewalk becomes more of an ascent until his steps stops and his breathing evens out next to you. He's calm on this side of the Pentagram, that's for sure. Before you can look up to meet his eyes, your gaze locks onto a stone path that splits up, both reaching this dazzling red building. Ah, so here it is. 

His smile widens as your songs quiet down, the decrescendo sounding as if one were turning down the volume on a radio. The best part is that he can never tell if you do that intentionally or not. 

He nudges your shoulder before putting a more serious look on his face. 

"Now," he signs. "I could only assume they haven't even seen a Deaf person."

Charlie has. But you don't interrupt.

"You're quite the magnet for nosiness, but I know you can handle it. Won't you?" He ends the sentence by pulling on the skin of your cheek and shaking it as one would a child.

Beneath the pads of his fingers holds a warmth that not even his gloves can cease. The longer the wait, the more you want to turn back. You didn't ask to be here, and this is all because you knew he wasn't going to give up until you at least visited. He was eager, as he always is. You know better than to ignore him when he gets like that. Perhaps that's why he likes you so much.

With no response to him other than a roll of your eyes, you turn your body and continue up the path. The building is looming, way too big, and the exterior is intimidating. 

Alastor watches as you trot along before him, not even turning back. His smile widens. It reminds him of when he'd have to make your lights flash green to alert you he arrived to convince you to join him at the overlord meetings. You'd fear making everybody sad, but the moment you both neared the building, you entered the elevator first and excitedly sat at the table. Carmilla had those slides up, spending her time before meetings, making them easily understandable without verbal explanation. No one in that room felt miserable, and though you convinced yourself it was due to them not having experienced love, you didn't realize it could have been due to Alastor's presence, the way you looked at him with stars in your eyes.

Assertive, that's a word he still uses to describe you. Hesitant but assertive.

It's a cool afternoon; the hill only gets colder the higher it goes. He hardly spends time trudging up this thing. But seeing you and the way you eye the floor in front of you as if you could fall at any second is worth the hike. Hundreds of lights illuminate the terrain, drawing particular attention to the golden door you find yourself in front of. 

You stand still while waiting for his instruction. All he does is put a fist in front of his mouth, which you understand as him clearing his throat, before throwing the door open dramatically. 

His slipping into his little performances will always be so charming. Sooner than later everybody's eyes land on you. Alastor was right; only a few people came forth to stay. 

"Husk," you whisper under your breath, one of the few moments you use your voice, always impulsive and out of shock. Someone else in the room is also in complete shock. 

Charlie points a finger at you, motioning loudly, before rushing over. She waves, not a casual hi but a practiced hello. 

The two words that come from her lips are easy to read.

"It's you!" She says. 

You bow your head, keeping your eyes on you, a small smile forming on your lips. Your hands don't lift to sign. You remain quiet. That snaps her out of her enthusiasm. 

"Oh, right!" But before you can attempt to distinguish anything else, she turns her body away and faces Alastor. Expected.

A few people in here you recognize. Nifty gains your attention by how she circles you quickly, looking you up and down.

"No dress?" She signs. You just shrug, eyebrows twisted up with a more nonchalant smile. Your peripheral spots a tall, lanky figure approaching.

She wiggles her fingers, more to herself than to you. "Weird."

The figure steals your attention by pressing a finger hard into the visible speaker that protrudes from your chest. As if surprised, he immediately backs up, having expected to feel vibrations of music and not your direct heartbeat. 

The longer you stare at him, the more he doubles down, hearing the music transition from major to minor. Angel's eyes start to widen, and his heart sinks as he feels that familiar pit in his stomach.

Savior as he always is, Alastor summons himself and grips Angel's shoulders, leaning in and speaking something you don't hear.

Charlie grabs your hand and pulls you to her. Everything around you is crowded; there's constant movement and many people to try to pay attention to. This is the most people you've seen in over ten years. Mortification lodges itself within you, as sudden as an arrow. Sure, you recognize more than half, but that doesn't offer relief. At least they aren't annoyed with you, not yet, anyway. 

Instead of trying to communicate again, Charlie puts her hand on your shoulder, exaggerating her cheeks as she breathes in and out. You can see the gentleness in her eyes. Submitting to her care is like second nature. Perhaps this place isn't as bad as you thought.

Vaggie stares at you with thought. Her expression softens, but for only a moment before her soldier-like exterior snaps back into place. She knew signs of war efforts, but that was from Heaven. She had no clue what sign language you were fluent in, but it certainly wasn't hers. She wouldn't be able to help you in your situation. Your only hope, she realizes, is Alastor. What a difficult position to be in. 

Vaggie peels her eyes away when Alastor manages to take your full attention. Using the window of opportunity, she grabs Charlie and relays her thoughts.

Alastor's gaze catches on the stereo speaker in your chest. "No fingerprints, that's good."

"Rather rude, wasn't it?"

"Very."

His smile calms to match yours. Angel, out of everybody, is the most put off by how content Alastor gets when he is within close proximity to you. It's as if you're flicking a switch. Even Angel felt a wave of sadness, which he would describe as despicable recollections, the moment he approached you. He watches as you take Alastor's hand, and how the wicked Radio Demon doesn't pull away. This is insanity, he thinks, I need a drink.

Alastor only retracts his hand when beginning to sign. "Now, where should your room be?"

Your cheeks heat. "You really are making me stay, aren't you?"

"Well, you're already here, darling."

He leads you up a beautiful staircase. Everybody steals a glance at the two of you, walking in perfect sync, close together, while your heart radiates jazz. Charlie can't help but jump in happiness.

"Now, my dear, would you like the pleasure of choosing or shall I?"

A tremendously long line of doors greets you. You half-expect a spotlight to snap into existence and illuminate whatever door he wants you to pick. 

You shake your head, putting a hand to your temple while the other signs. "You can choose."

"Delightful! Right across from mine will do just fine."

And once he opens the door now assigned to you, the first thing he does is start to decorate. You don't move a muscle as he summons furniture similar to the one in your home. Your eyes stay on your bed. Having Alastor so close to it makes you smile. He's in your bedroom again. The last time he was anywhere near your chambers was years ago when he had walked you to sleep, tucking you in after hours of you saying you wanted to stay up and continue talking to him. He had promised to visit again before making sure you were safe in bed, touching his staff to your bare sternum, sending comforting vibrations of soft music to your skin. He didn't visit for many moons after that.

If he's making it like home, you'll give it a chance. 

You pause when you notice what he placed above the fireplace. It's a painting of you, one that definitely hadn't existed before, with an elegant dress of red. It is reminiscent of portraits of royalty. He needs to stop being so sweet; it's starting to get overwhelming, but god, the way his eyes watch you to witness your reaction is captivating. It's enough to convince you to stay.

"Maybe I should put it up in my room, too." He signs while rounding a lounge chair he had snapped in. With one last snap, the fireplace lights, blazing the room with the might of a thousand candles. You've never seen a fireplace before.

By the time you look at him again, his jacket is draped across the back of the chair. 

You sit next to him. "This will make it a lot easier for you to come visit, won't it?"

Even without the intention of the jab, his smile still widens in retaliation.

"I like our time alone, such a shame you chose the most inconvenient place."

You laugh, the noise croaky as you realize it was a jab in response.

He shrugs, breaking the eye contact by staring into the fire, resting his cheek against his knuckles and pressing his elbow into the armchair. His free hand continues to sign. "And now you're here."

If you thought to see it, you could notice how his gaze softened, but you were focused on how subdued his hand movements became. This is the Alastor you love to see, one so content by your side, one who trusts you with his life. You're his 'sweet little thing,' his 'cherished other,' his 'best friend,' and yet still his 'sweetheart.'

The longer you stare at him, the more uncovered his sentiments are. With the slight droop of his ears and the lowering of his lids comes the acknowledgment that this isn't a fantasy. You push your foot close to him and gain his attention.

"Then I should apologize."

His ears are erect again, and his head lifts. "For what?"

"Being so far away from you."

As quick-witted as he tends to be, his response came slower than he would have liked. To the average person, it would have looked like he was attempting to interpret English into signs, but to you, he was analyzing your intentions.

You really did hate burdening him with your isolation and your sensitivity. He has always been so lenient with you, and you've never tested his patience as a result. You're not going to push your luck.

"Far away?" Alastor leans back, gaining character again. "A simple stroll through the forest never harmed anybody, my dear. There's no need to worry about silly ol' me."

You close your eyes to hide how they rolled. You hated how he interpreted that, the pouting of his lips through his smile. 

You mimic how he signs, "Inconvenient place."

"Just a jest," he waves his hands dismissively. How eager he is to console your worries, even if it's true or not.

"Always so funny, aren't you?"

"Very much, my dear, it's such a burden."

The most treacherous men smile at the desire-filled state of others, and that's what Alastor is known for. Yet here he sits, lying through his teeth once he realizes his words might have hurt you. He is conditioned to this, isn't he? Realizing the emotional pain he could cause someone he enjoys being around. The soft touches he always tends to give you, the ones you accept without fear, do not belong to someone who is truly treacherous. 

He watches as you bite your lip in thought. "My dear, which do you believe is true?" 

You tilt your head. "I don't think it matters, you came and visited me either way."

"That's good." He leans forward and dips his head. "I'm off to bed."

He stands, grabbing his jacket and not facing you, not watching for a goodbye.

Ending any meeting this way is not exactly rare, but it's always him teleporting rather than walking out. 

Another eye roll. He's such a baby sometimes, so used to withholding affection to the point where even his own tenderness irritates him. One day he'll get over it. 

Husk pulls Charlie aside. Of course with that comes Vaggie, and then Angel who only wants to know what everybody is hanging around the bar for. The group listens to Husk as he talks. He keeps his voice low, speaking fast before his owner hears your name and arrives. But Alastor is still in his room, somber.

Husk has all the time he needs.

Back when you were an overlord, the sight of you made people believe they were in a nightmare. Your music enchanted people, making them cower beneath you, bursting into tears as they recounted the evil people they'd been around, specifically the wrong people they loved. It was the curse that Hell gifted you. Initially, when you first fell into these depths, you cherished your ability, recognizing your unique circumstances. But then the reason you were given the capability became clear: it was a mirror of your living, a constant reminder of the sorrow you were forced to endure.

Regardless, Husk hated being around you. You gave him fear, but that didn't stop him from seeing your effects on those suffering from your grief. Their eyes got bloodshot, and their minds raced to the point where they could hardly form words.

The sadness you provoke dissipates after days of non-contact, but your impression lasts forever.

During his monologue, the sound of your music was still heard in the distance, too faint to recognize and put a tune to the melody but audible enough to send an unease through Husk and his recollection.

When asked why none of them were affected, he just shrugged, putting a bottle to his lips. 

"Must be something in the water."

[heretherebedork]

This entire scene is agony because half of it is about the truth (Do Han being gay) and half of it is a lie (Do Han 'tricking' A Jeong into marrying him) and the rest is about Ji Han's own pain that he's never faced or expressed because his coping skills suck.

Ji Han knows Do Han is gay now but he still doesn't know that A Jeong knows he's gay and so he's taking out this anger on Do Han about A Jeong's love not knowing it's entirely fake and that's the hardest part about this fight scene because the fight isn't about what it's about, it's about something that isn't actually happening but appears to be happening.

See, the problem with this fight and the framing of it is that Ji Han is mostly angry because he thinks Do Han is lying to A Jeong who loves him. That's why he's so pissed and why Do Han can be framed as the villain in this moment.

Because this is about Ji Han and A Jeong.

But the truth is that Do Han isn't doing any of the things Ji Han accuses him of in most of the argument besides being the closet which isn't what Ji Han is truly angry about to an extent.

I deeply appreciate that Do Han got to punch first despite his own guilt and issues because this man has spent most of his life hiding himself even from the brother he loves and now, the first time anyone in his life finds out he's gay, he gets called the Worst Person Imaginable. Sigh.

Do Han was also young when their mother died so I'm not sure what he was going to tell Ji Han about where he was living or where Ji Han was living. I don't think Do Han had any control over that.

I admit, I bet he ran to New York without telling anyone. I accept that. Do Han is absolutely a coward when it comes to telling people things he expects to be judged for and so he does tend to just... not tell them. We've seen that a lot in the show. Do Han's fear of what other people will think is real.

And this where the knowledge of the viewer informs us of how wrong Ji Han is in his assumptions but also allows it to make sense that Ji Han would think the worst of that and the worst of everything in this moment.

But, honestly, a lot of this is Ji Han putting his own trauma out in the air. He's got so many issues and he's never faced a single one and Do Han's own secrets have left this space between them that Ji Han tried to fill with pushing him to gain power and trying to find reason to involve Do Han more because he never knew why Do Han was distant... and now that he knows he's gonna go ahead and assume the worst because that's all he's got.

Poor Do Han lived in a minefield that Ji Han will never understand and will never try to understand because Do Han's minefield is something so specific and so painful and he had to leave behind so, so much. And he didn't choose that, unlike Ji Han choosing to go for the power and the family connections.

(Also, I need a scene at some point where Do Han tells Ji Han their mother's death isn't his fault just because I don't think Do Han ever believed it was his fault.)

And this is where the whole thing comes back to Ji Han's love for A Jeong and the fact that the viewer knows that A Jeong knows but Ji Han doesn't and that he won't because A Jeong isn't going to out Do Han and neither is Ji Han and so this misunderstanding is going to continue and get worse when Ji Han and A Jeong's romance becomes more public and Do Han is forced to face the press, his own fears and their actual romance and the fact that he does love them both.

Honestly, Ji Han, you fell in love with A Jeong before you knew any of this so maybe take a look in the mirror.

Oh the heartbreak and the fear and the pain and the way Do Han only knows part of the truth as well and this is just gonna hurt. How does he handle this? How does anyone? And then the fall out of everything, the fact that Ji Han and A Jeong are starting a romance while he's still supposed to be marrying her and if he doesn't marry her will end with another woman his grandfather chooses and forced to either lie or out himself?

All the anxiety he had finally escaped in his contract with A Jeong has come back with a vengeance.

Bonus gif: Do Han's collapse broke my heart.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I'm working on an Avatar OC. She is a relatively strong waterbender who gets into an accident that paralyzes her from the waist down. It's the kind of paralysis where there is no danger in someone else moving her legs around for her, but her brain is unable to control her leg muscles itself. She ends up secretly learning how to bloodbend, and decides to use it to help make her walk by bloodbending her own legs (a process which takes a long while to learn, but gradually becomes more second nature after a year of constant practice).

I thought it would be a cool way of utilizing bloodbending in a positive way rather than a negative way, however, I realize this may fall into the "curing disabilities with magic" or "disability basically non-existent due to powers" tropes. If my OC's waterbending is taken away or significantly weakened, then she can't move her legs anymore, and walking still requires quite a bit of concentration (and more advanced movements like running are even harder). But I'm still concerned. Any advice on how to make this work without perpetuating harmful tropes?

Hi!

My first advice before getting to the superpower curing thing would be to thoroughly research spinal cord injuries. It's basically unheard of to only be paralyzed below the waist with no other symptoms. An SCI could be complete, incomplete, and then it has specific levels - sometimes people assume that it's either "below the neck" or "below the waist" but there's a whole more that can happen. For the purpose of this ask, I'm going to assume that she has a complete spinal cord injury on the lower thoracic level, maybe T9 to T12. If it's higher (like T6 or above), you should definitely research autonomic dysreflexia as well.

I'm glad that you caught this; I would classify this as a cure thing, or at least cure-adjacent.

I'm not certain how bloodbending her own legs would work - unless she was manipulating her whole body like a marionette, I don't think it would help much? I don't remember how exactly it worked in Avatar, but she would need her leg and hip muscles to actually contract (or at least consistently spasm) to bear her weight, or they would just bend underneath her. Her legs would probably be atrophied, so it'd be even harder.

None of this means you can't have her bloodbend to make her life easier while still leaving her disabled. There's definitely things that could work for her while also being more authentic to the issues she could have, rather than just un-disabling her.

One of the problems that she would have - that's also related to blood flow - would be pressure sores. It's basically when there's prolonged pressure on part of the skin and eventually tissue death occurs, if it's not treated it's lethal. As you can guess, it's a huge problem when it happens, and it's even worse when you can't feel a sore like this forming in the first place. She could make her life much easier and safer by learning how to push her blood everywhere to make sure she doesn't, you know, die. This is huge and genuinely life-changing, just not as spectacular as being able to walk with paralyzed legs I guess. She could maybe learn to bend her blood specifically to prevent this - she would learn of this being a possible problem very early on - and thus realize that bloodbending can be a positive and life-saving tool?

There are also scenarios where moving legs via bloodbending could be helpful. Legs weight a lot, and it can be a pain to move them around when transferring. Rather than having her manually grab them to get out of/into her wheelchair, she could just bloodbend her legs to be where they need to go. This omits the problem of her lower body probably not being able to hold her weight.

If she has complete paraplegia, she will have issues with her bladder - she could probably use her bending for that as well? If you don't want to go into a lot of detail, you can have her just empty the leg bag via waterbending. I imagine that being able to manage that whole process in a much faster way would be helpful for her.

These are just a few suggestions - I definitely encourage you to look deeper into spinal cord injuries and their symptoms, and think of some creative ways for her bending to help her other than making her walk.

mod Sasza

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.