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brawltogethernow · 4 years ago

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@mirrorfalls submitted: Came across this while searching for James Bond’s scrambled-eggs recipe (long story). Your thoughts?

But did you find James Bond’s scrambled eggs recipe?

In this article, Scocca laments his inability to find accessible, lighthearted superhero comics suitable to read with his young son, while also demonstrating a mysterious aversion to looking at DC and Marvel’s lines of comics for children, which is where the accessible, lighthearted superhero comics suitable for reading with young children are. He wants his elementary schooler to be able to safely have the run of all superhero media so he doesn’t have to touch the yucky baby books.

This is not an industry-wide crisis. This is just one dude who got paid to write an article where he accidentally exposed one of his personal hangups.

The child headed toward the trade paperbacks of Marvel and D.C. superhero titles on the side wall […] a few steps in front of me. […] Is he with you? a clerk asked me. I said he was. You know, the clerk said, we have a kids’ section. The clerk gestured backward, at a few shelves near the entrance. I said, Thanks, we know and tried throwing in a little shrug, as the kid kept going.

You can’t just turn a seven-year-old child loose in a comic-book store to look at the superhero comic books. […] My seven-year-old really wanted to see that last Avengers movie […] that is, he wished it were a movie he could see, but he understood that it was, instead, a movie designed to scare and sadden him—a movie actively hostile to people like him.

They have a children’s section. Because comics are a medium suitable for stories for everybody, and they are sold in comic book shops, which have sections, like bookstores. You can use this organization to find books that you know in advance are suitable for children. What goes in that category is determined by industry professionals. This area will be bigger the bigger the shop is. These comics are not lower quality that titles from the main lines. They are actually slightly better-written on average.

Your local comic book shop has considerately wrapped Empowered in a plastic bag, so your child will not be drawn in by a colorful superhero and accidentally read a graphic scene. If you think your kid might find a memoir about internment camps upsetting, it is your job to notice them picking up They Called Us Enemy and read the blurb on the back before you let them have it. This comic adults are meant to read is in a comic book shop because that is where comics are sold. Not every public place is supposed to be Disneyland.

Movies have ratings systems. If you do not want your child to watch a PG-13 movie, you will find that most superhero cartoons are for children. They are about the same characters. Some are quite good! I really enjoyed Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Your child may like Avengers Assemble. At least I think that’s right. I’m always mixing those titles around.

This is a deeply weird bias for Scocca to casually demonstrate, because he identifies in the article that real childishness is striving for empty maturity.

He compares an old comic,

[…]a 1966 Spider-Man comic in which Spider-Man meets, fights, and defeats the Rhino; participates in a running argument between John Jameson and J. Jonah Jameson about his heroism; buys a motorcycle; breaks up with his first girlfriend, Betty Brant; flirts with Gwen Stacy; and reluctantly agrees to let Aunt May take him to meet her friend Mrs. Watson’s niece, Mary Jane.

and a new comic,

[…]a 21st century comic book in which Thor, brooding in a Katrina-destroyed New Orleans, beats up Iron Man. He also yells at Iron Man a lot about some incomprehensibly convoluted set of grievances, including involuntary cloning, that he believes Iron Man perpetrated against him while he was dead(?), and then summons some other Norse god from the beyond somehow for reasons having something to do with real estate. I think. Where the 1966 comic is zippy and fun and complete, the whole contemporary one is muddled and lugubrious and seems to constitute a tiny piece of a seemingly endless plot arc—simultaneously apocalyptic and inert.

and concludes that the edgier comic is actually less mature. This is true. (This is not news about mediocre comics.)

It also has nothing to do with either comic being child-friendly, the article’s nominal thesis, except in the sense that ASM #41 (yes, I eyeballed that from that summary, yes I am just showing off now) is better written, making it more everyone-friendly. It also has practically more space dedicated to word balloons than art and is about a college student juggling girl problems and a part-time job with a tyrannical boss. But the immature one, as Scocca points out, is dour.

These are both teenagery issues, separated only by quality. It’s true that lots of new comics published by the big 2 are bad in the specific way Scocca describes here, taking themselves too seriously and hauled down by associated stories instead of buoyed by them. Some are not! Some titles from these companies’ main continuities are zippy, contained, and child friendly. Give your child The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl! Or if you like vintage comics so much better, why don’t you…buy some?

The books on the kid’s rack are good and fun and totally suitable for parents to read with their children without wanting to scoop their eyeballs out. Scocca cites the Batman ‘66 comics as the brightly colored, tightly written all ages solution to his problem about sharing superhero stories with his son. My local comic shop stores this title in the kid’s section. I am glad that Scocca’s does not, as he seems to have a peculiar aversion to looking for comics to read with his son there.

Scocca cites Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as a superhero movie he could watch with his kids. (I was surprised when this line made it sound like he has several. I don’t want to assume the other one isn’t in this article because they’re a girl, but I very much am assuming that.) Great! Go to the kid’s section and look for Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man. It’s a fun, zippy title directly inspired by ITSV where Miles, Gwen, and Peter superhero together. It’s much more tightly written than most of the various Spider-Verse comics, which are ambitiously messy ubercrossovers. You may not want to give those to children because they include murder and so on, but also you just have the choice between the two as an adult reader deciding how much continuity you want to deal with. Adventures is one of the only titles I would buy on sight before corona. The kid comic rack is a reliable place to take a break from How Comics Get Sometimes regardless of how old you are.

This article makes me feel quarrelsome. Maybe it’s that it doesn’t seem like exploration of a single idea so much as a loosely grouped bundle of things to kvetch about. Maybe it’s that the experience of getting into superheroes that Scocca describes experiencing, projects his seven-year-old son will experience, and from which he extrapolates a metaphorical microcosm of the history of the genre is completely alien to me.

Comic books [and] comic-book movies—are […] trapped in their imagined audience’s own awful passage from childhood to adolescence. A seven-year-old has a clean […] appreciation of superheroes. They like hero comics because the comics have heroes: bold, strong, vividly colored good guys to fight off the bad guys and make the world safe.

But seven-year-olds stop being seven. […] They become 13-year-olds, defensively trying to learn how to develop tastes about tastes.

The 13-year-old wants many things from comics, but the overarching one is that they want to prove that they’re not some seven-year-old baby anymore. They want gloomy heroes, miserable heroes, heroes who would make a seven-year-old feel bad. (Also boobs. They want boobs.)

Not because of the boobs line, although that does illicit an eyeroll that this gloomy thinkpiece is fretting over preserving the superhero experience of little boys who resemble the little boy the writer was while casually dismissing everyone else. I was one of those unlikable little seven-year-olds with a college reading level and the impression that maintaining it was the crux of my worth. I only read Books - distinguished media you could club someone with. I have a formative memory of pausing, enraptured, in front of a poster for Spider-Man 3, preparing to say that it looked pretty cool, and being beaten to the punch by my mother making a disparaging comment about how the movie was trash. It wasn’t out yet, but it was a superhero movie. That meant it was for loud, brainless children.

That was the total of my childhood experience with superheroes, excluding being the unwilling audience to incessant renditions of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells” that left me wondering why in god’s name Batman’s sidekick was named Robin. I certainly never visited a comic book shop. I got into TvTropes, which got me into webcomics, which got me following David Willis, who got me into Ask Chris at ComicsAlliance, which led to me rewarding myself for studying like a demon for the AP tests with three volumes of Waid’s Daredevil, pitched as a return to the character being colorful and swashbuckling. I was seven…teen.

This is of the same thread as Scocca’s point that immaturity is running from childish things. It leaves me baffled that he doesn’t follow that maturity is embracing them.

I will disclose here that while I think it was dumb I had to overcome my upbringing’s deeply embedded shame associated with enjoying arbitrarily defined lowbrow media and children being childish, I think it’s fine that I was allowed largely unchecked access to technically age-inappropriate content. In my limited experience, content small children are too young for is also content they’re too young to understand, so it kind of just bounces off of them, and what actually ends up terrorizing them is unpredictable collages of impressions that strike out at them from content deemed perfectly child-friendly. I would not forbid a seven-year-old I was in charge of from seeing an MCU movie unless I had a reason to believe that specific child would not take it well. These are emotionally low-stakes bubblegum films. It will probably be easier to socialize with other kids if they have seen them.

But then, when I picture being in charge of a hypothetical child, I usually imagine this being the case because they are related to me, and the pupal stage in my family strongly resembles Wednesday Addams. ALL children love death and violence, though, right?? This isn’t a joke point. I know it looks like a joke point.

The MCU thing seems especially weird in light of the article’s particular focus on Spider-Man, which is the kiddie line of the MCU, even if they refused to waver from their usual formula enough to get a lower rating. Though I am more inclined to describe it as “preying on the young” than “child-friendly”.

(MCU movies are increasingly dubious propaganda, but I would not judge them in front of a child who wanted to watch them for that reason, just in case this led to them partaking of them without me the second they were old enough to and then they grew up to run a blog about them while our relationship suffered because they didn’t feel like it was safe to talk to me about their interests…Mom.)

I tried to overcome the philosophy of letting anyone read anything while compiling this handful of mostly-newish superhero recs for the road that anyone can read. (Handily, I have been in spitting distance of being hired as a comic shop clerk enough to have thought about it before):

For actual children:

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man (the new one is reminiscent of ITSV, the old one is more like 616) any DC/Archie crossover, Archie’s Superteens The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (for bookish children who think they’re too good for comics and adults afraid of the kid’s section) Teen Titans Go (even if you hate the show) Superman Smashes the Klan

For teens:

Ms. Marvel Young Avengers (volume 2) Unbelievable Gwenpool Batman: Gotham Adventures Teen Titans Go (the tie-in comic based off the old show was also called this)

Here are a bunch of relevant C. S. Lewis quotes.

#me every time i read a comic book article by a rag not exclusively about comic books: i know more than you.#marvel #spidey #DCU #MCU critical #mirrorfalls #asks answered #submission #unearthed this and bashed it out in one sitting ... i have not been working on it since you sent it last year XD

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pluckyredhead · 4 years ago

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What's the top 10 worst things about HiC

Oh god, it took me FOREVER to narrow this down. There are so many bad things about it!!!

Literally I’m not even going to address all the little talking heads therapy sessions and how thoroughly riddled with continuity errors and godawful characterization they are, because there’s so much else wrong with the book. Just trust that they’re a mess, even if King is trying to be Intellectual (TM) by putting them in a nine-panel grid. WE GET IT. YOU’VE READ WATCHMEN.

I’m also not putting “they killed Roy” on the list because it’s comics, characters die. The fact that this book was a slaughterhouse is a problem (see below, #2), but the fact that one of those deaths happened to be one of my favorite characters is a bummer but not necessarily evidence that the book is bad. (The book is so bad.)

But okay, so the rest of it, from least-worst to worst-worst:

10. That Poison Ivy cover: Clay Mann draws beautiful people but for some reason he decided that the cover to #7 should be a dead Poison Ivy on her stomach, cleavage pressed against the floor, her spine arched EVEN THOUGH SHE IS DEAD in order to lift her ass in the air so that the reader can see both T and A at once. This was leaked and then ultimately pulled before it hit stands and Tom King tweeted that he'd never liked it, but it’s very telling to me that either literally no one noticed how gross this cover fetishizing a dead woman was before the internet protested, or DC actively planned to use a sexy dead woman to sell comics. In their book that was supposed to be about trauma and mental health and recovery.

10b. Babs, a theoretical protagonist of this book, sexily peeling her pants down to show her bullet scars, which shouldn’t even look like that due to all the surgery she’s had: We get it, you’re only interested in women’s trauma if it’s sexy. She doesn’t even get to talk on this page.

10c. The full splash page of Lois in her underwear, saying “What do you want me to do?” like she’s inviting the reader to bone her in the middle of this story about death and trauma: Stop!!! Just stop!!!

9. The laziness of everything having to do with Booster: Okay yeah, I’m gonna be fannishly self-involved about another one of my faves here, but Booster is legitimately one of the main characters of the series, along with the Trinity, Harley, Babs, and Wally. And yet the “trauma” that places him at Sanctuary was part of a hastily shoehorned-in Batman arc directly before HiC that writes him deeply out of character (he carelessly changes the timeline when despite the fact that he’s spent 15 years protecting the timeline, including the Superman arc he starred in literally directly prior to the Batman one), instead of anything endemic to the character (because spoiler, Tom King doesn’t actually know anything about the character). The series then entirely fails to address it, hanging Booster’s emotional arc instead on his friendship with Ted...a friendship that explicitly does not exist in the Rebirth timeline. The Ted/Booster friendship/marriage is literally my favorite relationship in the entirety of the DCU, but you don’t get to rest a protagonist’s entire arc on a relationship that was retconned out of existence seven years prior and then retconned away again. Do the work. Don’t copy Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis’s papers from 31 years ago.

8. Interpretive hand jiving through the pain: You know how some people have to leave the room when characters do something very embarrassing on television? I’ve never been like that, just Jesus Christ I had to read this page between my fingers. Y i k e s :

7. Harley beating the Trinity in a fight: Come on. Harley couldn’t take a single one of them on her own, let alone all three. Don’t warp the characters to make your MC look more badass and keep the plot moving. (King also wrote Catwoman beating THREE SPEEDSTERS in his Batman run, which again: no. Absolutely not. Stop it.)

6. That Watchman reference: See above re: being so embarrassed for someone you have to read through your fingers. If you haven’t read Watchmen, the line “I did it 35 minutes ago” is extremely famous and absolutely a mic drop moment. It’s not a mic drop moment here. The characters are completely different and talking about completely different things. The only thing Heroes in Crisis has in common with Watchmen (besides copying the use of the nine-panel grid, like I said before) is that it’s about how heroes are fucked up, I guess? Which is hardly a bold statement in 2018; it’s actively cliche now, in fact. The only purpose referencing Watchmen serves here is to let the reader know that Tom King has read Watchmen, which is both pretentious because it is Art and ridiculous because it’s one of the bestselling comics of all time and millions of people have read it.

5. The abysmal “journalistic ethics” on display: There are so many characters literally and figuratively assassinated in this book that it’s easy to miss that Lois is one of them. But here’s a tip: when someone’s medical information is leaked to you, it is not in fact your obligation to share that with the world, no matter who they are. That is not information meant for public consumption, which we might assume Lois knows, since she doesn’t usually share the private business of her husband or her son or their cousin or any of their friends that she is also friends with. But suddenly she’s forgotten that because it’s on a zip drive? Not only does that show horrifying journalistic ethics from both Lois and Clark, who seems to think she had no other choice, it’s also ableist as hell - what, if someone has mental health problems or experienced trauma on the job they’re automatically a danger to the public? And despite the attempt to make this feel like a big twist, there’s actually zero point to it, because a) we never see civilians reacting to this information and b) there are literally zero consequences to publishing it in this or any subsequent comic. It’s never even mentioned again. If a tree publishes all of a superhero’s medical information and deep dark secrets in a forest and no one reacts to it in any way, shape, or form, does it make a sound?

4. The actual premise: I do sort of believe that Bruce would think “go to the middle of nowhere surrounded by robots wearing creepy robes and masks and tell your secrets to cameras which are then wiped and interact with no one” = therapy, although if that’s the case I don’t know why he keeps bothering to put people in Arkham, which at least allows them to talk to other humans. But under no circumstances do I think either Clark or Diana would go along with this horrible, horrible idea, that offers no genuine help to anyone. Not only does the fact that it’s implausible undercut literally everything that happens within the framework of Sanctuary’s existence, it’s just one of many examples of how almost everyone acts completely out of character all the time in order to keep the plot chugging along.

3. Bruce’s terrible detective skills: The World’s Greatest Detective spends like six issues seriously thinking that either Booster Gold or Harley Quinn is the killer. Booster or Harley! Booster has neither the temperament nor the ability to kill on that level and Harley would never hurt Ivy, plus neither of them are a match for Wally (who is believed to be dead at this point), and Bruce should know that. Again, weak characterization all around, but it’s especially egregious given that King wrote Batman for A HUNDRED ISSUES.

2. Wally’s character assassination: This is a three-parter:

2a. Logistical: It makes no fucking sense. Wally got his own corpse to the crime scene by traveling five days into the future and killing his future self. Everyone sees the corpse. Then Booster, Ted, Harley, and Babs talk him out of killing himself. But...he already did that and everyone saw the corpse, so now we have a paradox that’s never addressed.

2b. Moral: The comics have tried desperately to walk Wally’s actions back in the past two years, emphasizing that he didn’t mean to kill TWELVE PEOPLE, including one of his best friends. It was an accident! But he still framed Booster and Harley for literally no reason except to create a whodunnit, set them on each other which could have easily ended fatally for Booster, and then sent everyone’s private information to the media (which again, the comic frames as somehow noble and necessary, but which is actually deeply unethical). So you made this beloved 60-year-old hero into a villain...why, exactly? Just so it would be surprising? Cool, great work, Captain Edgelord.

2c. Metatextual: This comic spins out of Rebirth Special #1. The New 52 erased Wally from continuity and then brought him back as the younger, biracial Wally (and this isn’t the place to get into fandom’s response to that and DC’s response to fandom’s response so let’s just say they are both YIKES MCGIKES and leave it at that). Rebirth Special #1 brought him back, and the return of the “real” (white) Wally (again: yikes) heralded a new universe that was lighter and happier and contained way more fan favorites. It was literally branded as a gift to fans, embodied in Wally West.

In Heroes in Crisis, Wally is crushed by the weight of everyone being so happy he’s there and loving him so much while he’s struggling with grief and depression, and that’s why he snaps. It’s the metatextual equivalent of having Wally look at the reader and say “You’re happy I’m back and comics can be lighter now? Well, FUCK YOU, YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.” It essentially blames the reader for having Wally go evil, because the reader loves Wally too much.

King, what the fuck?

1. The overall message: Heroes in Crisis was sold as a thoughtful exploration of mental health and trauma, instead of just another bloodbath. Instead, it killed a dozen characters in its first issue and dicked around for another seven with an uninspired whodunnit before throwing a beloved hero in the garbage. But in the meantime, it manages to say:

Trauma is unavoidable.

But therapy doesn’t help.

Trying it does more harm than good.

If you’re struggling, you are a danger to others and don’t deserve privacy.

Good luck with that.

Therapy literally saved my life. This comic enrages me. This comic is harmful. Superhero comics as a whole have a lot to answer for when it comes to discussions of mental illness, but at least some random issue of Batman where Bruce thoughtlessly throws another “looney” into Arkham isn’t billed as a sympathetic take on PTSD. Our culture already discourages asking for help, and we don’t need a pretentious funnybook miniseries helping with that.

(If you made it all the way to the end of this post and you are struggling with trauma, depression, PTSD, whatever...please do look into therapy. I promise you it’s nothing like this comic.)

In conclusion, Heroes in Crisis is bad and it should feel bad.

THE END.

#heroes in crisis #comics #wally west #flash #NO TALK ME IM ANGY #kiseiakhun

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thebibliomancer · 4 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes.

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

#avengers #Mechano Marauder #Hawkeye #mockingbird #Wonder Man #Beast #Black Widow #Black Panther #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the one wherein they appear on david letterman #pretty fun

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smalltragedy · 4 years ago

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* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

#irvingintro #violence tw #(more of a brief mention)#bt still #jst reposting bc its been so long JFGDHFDSGSLFKG

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aerith-thelastoftheancients · 4 years ago

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(Greetings! I’m a new blog here on Tumblr!>^<

Feel free to ask my questions or to Role Play. I’m open to all ships and plots! Though I will have to set down rules and how this Blog will work.

But first, a little bit about the mun.

I’m currently 22 years old and have 7+ years of RP experience under my belt, most of it being centered around Attack On Titan, OutLast, Star Wars, Resident Evil and DC Comics. I’m fairly good with almost all Canon characters and their personalities since I’m a major nerd. :p I’m a literate writer so usually my paragraphs differ from 6 to 16 depending on the RP. I’m overall a friendly person and love to talk to others/make new friends!

Now for the rules *yay* D:

My Role Playing rules are fairly simple and shouldn’t be hard to follow. So here we go.

*For those wishing to Role Play with my character and would like to know my rules, please read.*

Keep in mind that this RP account is 18+

#1: I am accepting of Canon X Canon & OC X Canon. I’m open to all ships fortunately, but be warned I’ve never FXF before so that’s something that needs improving. I am also open to role plays that don’t center around romance.

#2: I don’t accept 1 liners or short responses. The occasional short response is acceptable if your busy and life is happening, but if it happens often and almost all the time, the RP will be dropped. Without long replies, the RP can become uninteresting and it’ll feel like one sided if I have to do all the work.

#3: DO NOT LEAVE ME IN THE DARK IF YOU LOSE INTEREST. If you no longer wish to continue the RP, tell me and we’ll leave it be. I would hate to get into something and then having to wait months for a response. I understand life happens or interests change.

#4: I’m usually online almost every hour of the day. My schedule usually changes from responses during the day or responses during the night. I’m typically a night owl but most of the time now I’m active during the day.

#5: PLEASE DON’T SPAM ME! If I don’t respond in 1 week, then please do spam me. But if I don’t respond in a few hours, I recommend you don’t. I do have a life outside of this Blog as all people do.

#6: I am perfectly okay with blood, gore, death, gruesome stuff. I love it! I’m pretty fine with everything except for fetish’s or heavy sexual themes in RP like for example; Foot Fetish, Smut, MPreg, Vore, Etc...

#7: I love to RP and I take it seriously. Please, if you have limits/triggers, let me know! I would hate to make you feel uncomfortable or ruin the RP.

#8: No Godmodding or taking complete control of my character. You control yours and I will control mine. Other characters we add into the RP mainly for background will be used by both of us unless we assign who plays who.

#9: Not only do I follow the main storyline, I also accept AU’s and such like it!

#10: Have fun~

The rule for my Ask box needs to be kept fairly minimal and clean. If you use sexual themed or harass the character, that is an automatic block.

That sums it up. I hope to hear from you lovely people and please, like or reblog to help get this blog get out there for the whole fandom on this site!

Main Blog here: @kayleeredfield

Thank you! ;D )

#final fantasy #ffvii remake #cloud x aerith #final fantasy vii #ffvii #aerith x cloud #cloud strife #mature rp #oc rp #ffvii rp #ff7 rp #lit #literary #flowers

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laurenreviewsmovies · 5 years ago

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Bird of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Director: Cathy Yan

Starring: Margot Robbie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jurnee Smollett-Ball, Rosie Perez, Ella Jay Basco, Ewan McGregor

Release Date: February 7, 2020

My Rating: 10/10 (YESSSSSS!)

My Review (WITHOUT SPOILERS):

DC is getting gooooooood at these movies, man. Wonder Woman? Beautiful. Aquaman? An exciting journey that felt like a classical epic. Bird of Prey? A colorful, exciting, empowering film that is the one movie that legit felt like I was watching an actual comic book story take place – most ridiculous R-rated superhero romp there’s been since Deadpool. In my opinion. And I loved Deadpool.

The intro to the movie is amazing. It’s super quick and fun to follow if you already know the background and for those of those who don’t know anything about Harley Quinn, it pretty nicely gives you the story where the only background info you need to know going in is who the Joker is. And if you don’t know who the Joker is, why the hell are you seeing a superhero movie? The continuous narration from Harley was actually pretty funny, the little text that would pop up on screen was always just the right amount, the music was perfectly integrated and the soundtrack was awesome. The fight scenes were amazing, the effects were so cool, THE FINAL BATTLE IS IN A FUNHOUSE!

The characters were all awesome and the acting was amazing. The evil henchman was one of the best henchman you’ll ever see. He’s got a whole separate story that doesn’t ever take away from the main story, he has a non-goonish relationship with the main villain, and he’s for real just an interesting secondary character. The villain’s character takes you on a journey too. He starts out as your run-of-the-mill gangster Batman villain and he’s almost kind of quirky and likeable but over the course of the movie he just gets worse and worse, little by little, until you’re actively hoping he gets kicked in the nuts.

All the female characters have JUST enough backstory to give you an understanding as to who they are and what their motivations are without being overkill or locking them into a certain archetypal superhero movie character. The relationships between the girls isn’t saccharinely sweet and sisterly – it’s seriously just five girls who all have different agendas and motivations and their interests just seem to align at this one particular time so that’s why they team up and then they go their separate ways again. Even the closest female relationship never gets to the point of being anything like a mother-daughter relationship or anything; you could say it ends up with a big sister-little sister vibe but I got more of an older-cousin-begrudingly-starts-to-like-young-cousin-since-they’re-stuck-with-them kind of vibe which was cool cause you don’t really see that, ever. I also love that even though they’re not obligated to really respect each other as teammates, they’re not trying to actively double-cross or insult anyone. To the contrary, they’re not planning on staying a team after this but they keep building each other up and shit, it was awesome.

[Huntress takes down a dude by herself while sliding down a tube in a funhouse, walks out like no big deal, everyone is staring at her] “What??” “You are SO cool.”

I loved Birds of Prey so much that I immediately starting looking for articles that had appreciated what I had appreciated about the film right after I left the theater. One article titled “How Birds of Prey Deconstructs the Male Gaze” was super spot on and two amazing quotes that succinctly summarized what I had been trying to gush about to my neighbor:

“Female authorship is prominently and proudly on display in the film, both in how it was made and in the evolution of Harley’s character.” AND “The plot of Birds of Prey isn’t necessarily innovative...but when viewed as commentary on agency and the nature of authorship, Birds of Prey is something far more remarkable.”

This movie kind of reminded me of Captain Marvel in a way – in the sense that it’s not really made for boys. Every single freaking comic book movie is made for primarily men, and as a girl who has been watching superhero movies for over fifteen years now, it was so refreshing to get to see a movie with badass women that focused more on how badass the women looked while fighting than it did on how attractive they looked while doing it. It was like Captain Marvel but Avengers style, with multiple badass women straight up killing it on their own and joining up to become an unbelievably awesome unstoppable fighting force.

This movie is amazing at making this a thing about ‘girl power’ without making it seeming like an ‘all men are evil, let’s completely destroy the patriarchy’ sort of thing. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s because this movie was written by a woman and also directed by a woman. Although the women in this movie so have to deal with the typical misogynistic stuff women have to deal with in everyday life, it’s kind of understated. It’s presented in a way where it’s like “yeah, this is what women deal with every day and we’re not making a huge deal about it because women are used to it at this point’. This movie is full on actually feminist in the sense that with the exception of the main villain who starts out pretty okay but gets progressively more sleazy as the movie goes on, most of the men hate these women or are trying to keep them down because they legit see them as equals who have in the past or could in the future actually take them down and cause a lot of trouble. All the guys who come after Harley once word gets out that she’s broken up with the Joker? They’re not trying to get revenge for things that the Joker did that she just happened to help him out with. They’re legit angry at her for things that SHE did, on her own, to them and she’s just much easier to get revenge on without the Joker’s protection. She’s being hunted down for her OWN mistakes, I love it. I love how they don’t give ANY of the women super strength. Only one has a “superpower” that isn’t even used until the last ten minutes of the movie, and the rest of them have just worked really hard and become badasses with weapons and at fighting. This movie is about how awesome women are, in their own way, and how amazing they can be when they team up, but it’s ultimately about being able to stand on your own and be okay with being by yourself and doing your thing. It starts as a legit break up movie but, as cliché as it sounds (and thank god the movie doesn’t hit you in the head repeatedly with this message) it’s about breaking up with that mentality of needing someone to stand with/behind and owning up to your inner badass.

As much as I freaking loved Captain Marvel, it was mainly about just proving that she’s just as badass a superhero as the guys. The message in this movie was much more understated and even ignoring the deeper meaning, it’s just a FUN movie to watch. It was a wonderful breath of feminist fresh air and I will definitely be seeing it again.

(The article I was talking about: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/how-birds-prey-deconstructs-male-gaze-1277232)

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thankyougotham · 5 years ago

Photo

Here’s an article that Film Daily wrote about Nygmobblepot. If you’d like to see them write articles about other relationships, you can contact them on Twitter and make a request. They’ve been very supportive of Gotham in general, so follow them if you’re on Twitter.

“Gotham is an innovative show based on DC Comics characters and produced by Warner Bros. The Batman origin narrative helped us rapt viewers understand how our favorite heroes (Batman) and villains (The Joker, Penguin) came to be. It also cast a light on just how Gotham City became the wretched crime-filled cesspool we all know & love.

As the fandom knows, we’re so behind the mission to Save Gothamthat it hurts, but today we’ve decided to take a break from all the activism and talk about love. Here’s why we and the Gotham fandom ship hard for Nygmobblepot, and why these fantastic felons are anyone’s perfect gateway into Gotham for people on the fence about the show.”

Sample Quotes from fans:

Mr. Millicent Cordelia

Both Ed & Oswald were transformed by love. They made sacrifices for each other & always ended up back together. They deserve, and the fans deserve to see this relationship respected as a romance on a server that understands it’s the 21st century.

Merc

Honestly because they’re both idiots and they really deserve each other.

Zoe Tomorrow

They’re two individuals who’ve spent their lives mistreated and misunderstood. They are the only ones who accept one another wholeheartedly. Together they’ve learned about trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, and love. And no matter what they always find a way back to each other.

#PenguinSpinOff

Excellent chemistry between them, and a fun, fresh take on these old, iconic characters. They’re like peanut butter and jelly: fine on their own, but especially delightful together.

Rachel

For one, they “really are meant for each other”! They’ve been through so much and have hurt each other so many times but they’ve managed to overcome it. They have a strong bond, would do anything for each other, and somehow they always come back together!

𝕫𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒

These two men grew up misunderstood and overlooked, and learned to use that to grow. they have risen together, and make an excellent team. they have both admitted to being stronger together, and their fates always become intertwined. they’re destined to be together.

Angela

While I’m not the biggest shipper of Nygmobblepot, I do care for their happiness and for the fans who do ship them. My ship is Batcat. They are best friends as kids & love each other deeply. They always want to protect each other. They are family.

LongLiveGotham #Gotham | #SaveGotham

Nygmobblepot has a long, complex history that reveals both the best and worst of these 2 characters. They have grown and learned much from the relationship. They deserve to be on a server that allows them the freedom to be a romantic couple.

Jenny i love my girlfriend

they are two men who have been abused and undermined their entire lives, but see each other as equals. they have certainly had their ups and down, but they always come back, better and stronger than ever. they understand each other more than anyone else ever has.

(not to mention how groundbreaking it would be to have two characters who have been historically heterosexual be in a romantic relationship)

Hale | 45 Days Till Neo

I’m down for anything with dear Oswald- his chaotic energy is a joy to watch, especially when it’s messing with other character such as Edward and Jim.

Scheming Minor

I am going to say something different in lieu of semantics. Technically in a sense when you get to the details they really are one of the few villain pairings portrayed in a “healthy” relationship in the Batman fandom. They progress, accept and move on; never stagnating. I included the healthy relationship chart to prove a point. Each one of those slices can be seen over the course of Riddler and Penguin’s relationship in Gotham– more so when we reach season 5. Their entire journey is about respect. Adding one more thing – Riddler has traditionally been coded as queer and flits with tentative bisexuality, meanwhile Penguin is known as a womanizer but has rare moments of ’what if’ regarding men. Gothamis one of the few Batman shows that follows through with M/M content.

kebu loves Oswald

They are both extreme individuals, but they fit together perfectly. Both are complex characters that went through life unaccepted by everyone which shaped their desire for more and their paths to becoming supervillains, so when they met it was the first time they found their equal and were accepted by someone. Their paths have been intertwined ever since, and whether they’re together or at odds, they’re always the most significant person in each other’s lives. But even though they ended up appearing together, we didn’t actually see them get “officially” together. Their story has yet to come to a close.

Riz || Professional Mr.Penn promoter

A very complex relationship that cannot be concluded in a spawn of a cut off season like it was. They have had a long journey and a perhaps even longer one before them. Their lowest and best have been shared together and they’re the one person who understand the other fully.

M/M relationships in media and tvshows especially is a rare breed. Even more is the concept of the big chance to make two comic characters and made an entirely new spin on them by being brave enough to make them queer, Oswald perhaps within the asexual spectrum at that. Ed as a tormented, abused soul who struggles with his own identiy and perhaps sexuality.

There is really so much to say, which is exactly why there need to be more to tell the rest of the story.

Vero

While Ed fights with the dichotomy within himself, he’s always felt the most whole when he’s been all-encompassed by Oswald’s world and care. Oswald found compassion and acceptance for all the parts that Ed thought were not loved. They are twin souls that deserve a longer story.There’s always been a complexity to both of them, and they understand the extremes that have made them into the people they are. There is no desire to change the other, only bring out the best in one another and a comfort shared that’s so important.

madi

I feel as though they have stories that extend beyond what Gothamwas able to show through their 5 seasons. Especially with the 5th season being half of its normal length. They mean so much to me, and so many others, and I would love to see even more of them (1/2)

(2/2) and to be able to see Gotham’s depiction of Ed’s backstory, an explanation for the whole Isabella fiasco (like how is she even possible) and a plot line where Ed saves Oswald. We haven’t had any of those since s2/early s3 and I need that in my life. I miss them so much.

Evan

Not only off the charts chemistry, but near similar backgrounds also. Both Ed & Oswald were abandoned by their parents, and had to fight the world their whole lives. Then brought them together and they’ve been unstoppable ever since.

Suzy Dakroub

Because they have the best character development and bond I’ve ever seen on a show! They both truly have no one but eachother. For villains where it’s rare to see compassion and love, these two have it for each other and it’s so wholesome and sweet.

Frothy

it’s the first LGBT representation in such a major franchise on TV! it was taken from us once, twice, but there won’t be a third. i will produce season 6 in my basement with tze and my best friend if i must

Warrior_Of_Loyalty

REPRESENTATION!!! Seriously, there’s nothing quite like it. Oswald and Edward deserve a wedding and a musical episode to go with it. Because, if Arthur’s teacher can get married on TV why not The Penguin and The Riddler!? Please!! Make it happen!

𝕻𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖚𝖎𝖓 𝖎𝖓 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 ||

Because they are two characters who have been physically and emotionally abused most of their lives, and even after all of their hardships and turmoil, found love and trust and safety in one another

Azura Lynn Paulin

Because they never got to become a real couple on screen and they deserve to have that chance at happiness

MamaDev

Their chemistry, specifically between Robin Lord Taylor & Cory Michael Smith, is incredibly entertaining and heart warming to watch. It makes my whole day, of not, week better when I see them interacting on screen. FOX did not do them justice by keeping them in the closet.

Queen C

Because their story is FAR from over. Cory and Robin’s skills and chemistry shouldn’t be squandered. We had 5 years of their story buildup and got crapped on in the final episode, and I deserve my #BisexualRiddler!!!

Bandi [Gotham/Good Omens Spoilers] #SaveGotham

Nygmobblepot truly is such an interesting ship. As singular characters they are great, but together, they shine. They’re complex, damaged characters and take comfort in each other. Their journey is a long, painful one, but they deserve and compliment each other. It makes sense.

Anders

They are truly self confident with each other, anything becomes possible. They don’t need any cane.

They have each other.

Mae

they just have such strong chemistry and are so much better together than apart. their relationship constantly evolved throughout Gotham, becoming the main driving force for their individual developments too and… they were just made for each other okay

Tam Loves Kris @ Resting in Home

I see a lot of myself and my partner@MisterPenguinin the#Nygmobblepotship and I feel that their relationship is very well developed with lots of ups and downs and it’s fate that they are both meant for each other.

Kat Shade

With all of the characters that had amazing chemistry on Gotham, the main three had to be nygmobblepot, wayleska, and babitha. Nygmobblepot have been through so much together, and besides how revolutionary and amazing it would be for a show based on two previously heterosexual characters in a homosexual relationship, they simply work amazingly together.

#Gotham #nygmobblepot #Film Daily

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fyrapartnersearch · 5 years ago

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Send Help: Addicted to Roleplay and Chipotle

Greetings from Earth! First time poster to this blog and stoked to meet some new partners. My name is Chris and I'm a male nurse (Yo, you're going to get some medically accurate roleplay) in his late twenties. I have a lovely wife and two stupidly handsome animals (Pictures of the animals available on request) but manage to maintain a pretty active roleplay life due to the fact that I work nights. The Basics: I tell everyone that I'm a professional. I try to reply 1-3 times a week and the length of posts depends on amount of characters in play. If I'm going to take longer, I always try to let you know. I'm willing to write male and female characters and focus on M/F as the male and F/F. M/M just isn't my thing, sorry y'all. My limits include pedophilia, rape, and animal abuse. Anything else can be discussed. I prefer e-mail for writing ([email protected]) but have Discord for plotting (NurseBatman#3674). If we get along really well, you can convince me into discord roleplay. The text limit just drives me nuts. I do use faceclaims pretty aggressively. Is there anything else? Central time zone?

Onto the roleplay stuff. I'll start with originals and then dive into fandoms. I put extra *s by the lines that I will literally lose my mind if you approach me about. Searching hard! -The Social Media Age****** A m/f line that I've given a little thought to, looking for someone to write a young woman that is pretty much making her living being an instagram model/fitness person, etc. I think the proper term is *Influencer*. Meets and starts dating a successful guy with no presence online, the two falling for each other but at odds over their differing attitudes towards the world. -This American Life Something set in the 1970s, focusing on a roadtrip. A group of teenagers leave their small town behind to head out west. I love this time period. Can be supernatural, supernatural lite (think Twin Peaks weirdness) or totally natural. -Stranger Things inspired A group of four to six friends enjoy their last summer together in a remote town as strangeness begins to unfurl. I'd be willing to set this in the present but think it would be way more fun in the 70s or 80s. I have an idea for one of the kids having lost a sibling in a strange way when they were young and possibly some sort of cult in town.

Fandoms!

-Star Wars**

I know Reylo is all the rage these days, as is Qi'Ra/Han. But, man ALIVE, I really want something focusing on the core four: Luke, Leia, Han, and, ya boy, Chewie. Something taking place in that three year gap between New Hope and Empire as they work among the rebellion. Strange new worlds, getting into scrapes, sharply running from the empire, avoiding Vader, bounty hunters, and all sorts of things. This time period is far from explored and we can really thrive in the galaxy. Primarily I want to focus on the budding relationship between Han and Leia and Luke's training, pre-Yoda. In a perfect world, I'd want to write Han and Chewie (If anyone thinks Chewie is just a NPC, get out my face) while my partner takes on Leia and Luke. I'd be willing to switch out Chewie for Luke if need be, I guess? We could also split up C3PO and R2. I also would enjoy writing a young Amilyn Holdo and a few other soldiers. Let's real build out the resistance and delve into the 'WARS' part of those big yellow letters that never get enough attention. On top of all of that, I also have an original love interest in mind for Luke if someone else plays him! She's a spitfire. Alternatively, I'd be down for writing something set in the clone wars. Perhaps two jedi that broke the order's relationship laws and then survived Order 66 together? -Preacher Seriously. Love this show, love this comic. Would happily write Jesse or Cassidy against Tulip. Just definitely looking for a Tulip -The Boys Would love to write Hughie against Starlight! Currently working my way through the season that just dropped. -Marvel -I will love you forever if you write an Elektra against my Daredevil. They are toxic and in love and I love it. Whether it be the comics or the Netflix series, I don't care. Someone please write me an Elektra. Netflix did a good job of portraying this one -Alternatively, I'd also be happy to write against a Black Widow, either with Daredevil. They were a mainstay OTP in the comics in the 90s and I'd love to write against Scarlet's Black Widow. -Has anyone seen the trailer for the neverendingly delayed New Mutants movie? I would love to write something based on that horror aspect of the mutant universe.* -I'd love to write an older MCU Peter Parker (like college) running across a MCU version of Black Cat. Or just a Spiderman roleplay in general. I've always wanted to write Peter but have never gotten the chance! I have a ton of ideas for this, plus faceclaims for a few of the villains. Would also be willing to play him against Zendaya's MJ, Spidergwen, or Silk (Deepcut)**************************** (I so badly want to write Peter) -One of the pairings that was done for a time in the comics was Star Lord against Kitty Pryde and it was actually a lot of fun. If anyone would want to do a MCU version of this, I would so *DOWN* to play Quill, Xmen hijinks a plenty in space -If you write Jessica Jones, I'd be willing to write almost anyone against her (NOT KILGRAVE). Just let me know. I'd be super down to write Luke Cage or maybe Matt Murdock. I do a mean John Constantine, which, let's face it, is a cross company illustration of the two most terrible people together -Hawkguys! I would love to either write Clint against Kate Bishop (This would be a slightly skewed MCU vibe) or Kate against America Chavez. I would really love to do either of these lines. Or a poly version if someone is willing! -I'd love to write Logan as an active member of the MCU Avengers, possibly as a partner in crime/wetworks/murder with Black Widow. Those two could cause some mayhem. -Honestly, any X-men relationship could be sold to me. Just try it. I would love to find a Kitty for Piotr, a Rogue for Remy, or almost anyone for Kurt.

-DC I'd love to write Batman against Catwoman, please. Or John Constantine against literally almost anyone -Hannibal I've been dying to do a sort of season 4 for a while now, focused on Clarice Starlings interaction with Will Graham and later Hannibal Lecter. Just need to find someone willing to create an original style Clarice. -Resident Evil I'd like to write Leon against Claire Redfield or Jill Valentine in an original outbreak or a new one. I know this is an old school fandom but I'm a diehard fan. -Star Trek Okay, so first up, I am not the most well versed Trekkie in the world. Never watched any of the TV shows but am a massive fan of the trio of rebooted films and would love to give Kirk or Bones a try against Uhura, Dr. Eve, or maybe a female Vulcan OC? Hit me with ideas! -The Matrix Another obscure fandom. Maybe just an original crew, set during the movies, after, or an AU where they're the only survivors of Zion? Im not sure but I could plot something out!

-Uncharted I'd love to write Chloe Frazier against Nadine Ross, continuing their adventures. I'm pretty wide open on what we can do with this one. RANDOM CRACK SHIPS! Caught in a Web: I would love to write an iteration (Daniel Craig or an original) of James Bond/007 against a non superhero version of Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow. Spy vs spy shenanigans as two people working for different governments. Totally impossibly but putting it just in case: Did anyone see all that Wonder Woman/Lara Croft art that was floating around the internet earlier this year? I would love to dive into that. I'd prefer to write Lara but I'm definitely not picky. If you made it this far, you're a hero and I owe you a beer. Hope to hear from some great writers! Let's create something *EPIC*

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #long term #email #marvel rp #avengers rp #mcu rp #dc rp #submission

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bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

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Whats Nightwing and Deathstroke's dynamic? Why does it make you wince? Im not very familiar with it.

Nightwing and Slade actually have a really interesting and compelling dynamic in a lot of ways, that can be really good when written well and really terrible when not. My biggest issue is it is that its not sexual in the comics (Slade is a good thirty years older than him) or in other adaptations that have a version of it, like the Teen Titans cartoon. But fandom being fandom, Dick/Slade is a bigger ship than like, half his actual canon ships, so any new take on it always comes with a big sigh at all the new Dick/Slade shipping that’s gonna crop up or have a resurgence cuz of it. And I’m annoyed enough with YJ right now that I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do anything new or interesting with it that’s worth having to wade through pages of new Dick/Slade noncon in the months afterwards. Its a ship that generates a lot of non-con fic in particular, or at least my old favorite, ‘dubcon’, with the dubious part of the consent referring to the fact that it usually involves mind control or brainwashing, both tropes that show up a lot in their interactions anyway. (Not that there’s anything dubious about this NOT allowing for consensual anything, just that people love to call it dubcon because….fuck if I know).

But anyway….in the comics, Deathstroke is a mercenary who’s one of the Titans’ earliest and most iconic enemies. Though at various times and depending on who’s writing him, he’s sometimes an antihero and even a semi-trusted ally of the Titans (usually with Dick specifically), other times a villain but with his own personal code of honor that means he won’t help the Titans or other heroes but he’ll refuse to take jobs that would pit him against them, and other times he’s full on remorseless and sadistic villain who hates them all and wants them all dead.

He also had three kids, his son Grant (the first Ravager), his younger son Joseph (Jericho) and his youngest, their half-sister Rose (the second Ravager). Basically, the first time he interacted with the Titans was when the supervillain group HIVE put out a contract to have the Titans all killed. Slade turned them down cuz of his personal honor code and how young the Titans were, but his son Grant accepted the contract in exchange for HIVE giving him superpowers to help him fulfill it. The process didn’t work right though, and when fighting the Titans, Grant’s powers overloaded and killed him.

Slade blamed the Titans for this, and vowed to finish the contract and kill them as some twisted way of honoring Grant. He doesn’t do Logic so good, well no, its more like he doesn’t really do parenting so good, as in he tends to have fuck all to do with his kids 364 days of the year, but then something bad happens to one of them and suddenly he thinks he’s Dad of the Year and going 0 to Homicidal in six seconds flat is the way to make up for all the times he’s let them down or screwed them over, instead of just…not Doing That.

So Slade recruited a young meta named Tara Markov (yup, that one) and trained her as his apprentice specifically to help him get revenge on the Titans. At his prompting, she joined the Titans as a spy for him, feeding him intel and plotting against them in one of the best known comicbook storylines of all time, The Judas Contract. It was up there with some of the X-Men’s best known stories like the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. (In the 80s actually, the Titans comic book was almost as popular as Uncanny X-Men at the time. Like way more than the Justice League. They were DC’s big hitters, popularity wise - specifically the lineup that for the most part was centered around Dick, Donna, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven, with other members like the original Titans and later ones like Pantha and Wildebeest coming and going at various points in the 80s too).

Ultimately, Tara made her move and betrayed the Titans, enabling Slade to kidnap each of them one by one and turn them over to the HIVE….all except for Dick. In the meanwhile, he was approached by Slade’s ex-wife Adeline Kane - who has an equally all over the place dynamic with Slade, like sometimes she’s his worst enemy and other times she’s manipulating events behind the scenes to help him without him knowing, because she still loves him…it basically just depends on who’s writing her, same as with Slade. Also, Kane is Adeline’s maiden name, she’s distantly related to Kate Kane aka Batwoman in some extremely complicated manner I can never remember, but that’s mostly just trivia. I can’t remember a time its ever been relevant to a story, and it has nothing to do with Slade’s interactions with Dick.

ANYWAY. Point being, so Adeline, who blames and hates Slade at this time for their son Grant’s death, along with their other son Joey, seek out Dick and offer their help rescuing the Titans and defeating Slade. Joey is a metahuman as a result of Slade’s altered DNA (he has regenerative powers and is actually immortal, due to experiments the army did on him while he was a soldier). So Joey was born with powers although they didn’t activate until he was a young adult. His codename was Jericho and his power lets him possess peoples’ bodies. He’s also mute, and I’m half expecting him to show up in YJ fairly soon. If not this season then hinted at by the end of it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if they had plans to have him be gay in the YJ universe. He’s a character who was coded as gay practically from his debut. Joey/Dick is actually probably Dick’s oldest and most enduring slash ship, for the record.

So Joey works with Dick to rescue the Titans and defeat Slade, who’s captured and goes on trial for kidnapping the Titans. Joey ends up joining the Titans in the aftermath, and Adeline’s yay good, this was my Sekrit Plan all along, I did all this solely in the hopes that you would end up a superhero and have positive influences and not end up a murdering douchebag of flexible morality like your dad cuz fuck that guy, am I right Titans?

Did Adeline really just do all of that because she wanted her son to have more friends? Like…idk honestly it could go either way. Like….it IS the kind of thing she would do, tbh, so its as likely she was telling the truth as it is she just wanted to screw Slade one last time to avenge Grant and then was like hey if I take credit for my kid ending up a Titan now, I could probably play the “you owe me one” card later if I ever need to. Addy does like handing out “you owe me one” cards, just to be safe. Never know when you might need one.

The thing all this has to do with Dick is like, so it basically ended up being Dick versus Slade in the big finale, while Joey was rescuing the others and helping them face off against Tara. And for whatever reason - with multiple takes on this offered by multiple writers in the decades since - something about Dick just stuck with Slade and he’s had a kinda fascination with him ever since. Like he’s always talking about how much more he could teach Dick than what he already learned from Bruce, trying to convince him he’s got a killer instinct that Bruce just suppressed and its holding him back, blah blah, like saying he’s good, but Slade could make him great, so he surpasses both Bruce and Slade. TBH, he spends WAY more time obsessing about Dick and getting Dick to join him than he bothers paying attention to his own kids.

It really isn’t inherently sexual though, its a weird kinda pseudo father/son, pseudo mentor/mentee type thing. And its not entirely one-sided, because Dick at various times IS…tempted? Kinda? Like whenever Dick’s having some kind of crisis of conscience, or he’s pissed at Bruce or is questioning the effectiveness of superheroes or why they do the things they do or what does it all matter blah blah blah like omg I love you Dick, I really do, but sometimes you are such a drama queen, my god, blast some My Chemical Romance, experiment with drugs and chill out already, its not that deep. (LOL I kid. Well mostly). But point being, every once in awhile something happens that puts Dick in a funk and makes him second guess himself, and he spends like….a month being convinced he should reinvent himself as the anti-Bruce, that’s the solution, and this usually sends him in search of Slade except he’s always like ‘OH FANCY MEETING YOU HERE, THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND NOT ON PURPOSE’.

And Slade likes to take any opportunity to try and convince him like BE A BAD GUY DICK, KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. Except inevitably Slade does something that pisses Dick off and Dick snaps out of it and is like NO, IM A HERO AND THIS IS BAD, I REMEMBER NOW AND I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU! And then they fight again, but with swords, not words, and then they’re like crap, we’re too well matched, this is going nowhere, you’re a worthy opponent, the only one I can truly respect, blah blah and then they call a breather and Slade’s like hey kid, wanna grab a beer and Dick’s like yeah but only if you promise not to kill anyone. And Slade’s like ugh fine.

And then Slade’s all, look kid, its been fun but its time you went home to your real family and your real life, this isn’t you, you’re a hero, I can’t try and turn you into something you’re not, its Wrong. And Dick’s like….umm yeah, I know, I literally JUST said that, how hard did I hit you? And Slade’s like NO SHHH, DONT TRY AND ARGUE, GO, YOU GO NOW, GO ON, LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU DONT BELONG HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, YOU’RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN KIND.

And Dick’s like no seriously dude, I already called my dad to come pick me up, what are you even on right now, are we having the same conversation?

Slade, sobbing paternally: I HAVE TO LET YOU GO, ALL I EVER DO IS HURT MY KIDS, I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER, ITS NO WONDER JOEY HATES ME.

And then Dick awkwardly slips out while Slade’s mid monologue, with his head thrown back yelling up at the sky and shaking his fists like WHY GOD WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WHY - because the thing about Slade is he’s actually even MORE of a drama queen than Dick, he just hides it better. Most of the time. But seriously tho.

Anyway yeah, this is like…a pattern with them basically. And Slade’s like, you’ve inspired me, I see in you the man I could’ve become, maybe even that I can still be, and he like doubles down on his personal honor code and becomes a Mercenary With A Heart for a couple years and even helps out the Titans every now and then (basically just whenever Dick’s in trouble and he goes on a killing spree, like NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO MURDER MY KIDS BUT ME - also by this point in time, Joey had died because Slade literally killed him, I forget why, it was a dumb story, but its okay Joey came back, its not like his name is Uncle Ben. But yeah, killing his kids is kinda a thing with Slade too, and he’s very proprietary about it).

And then he falls off the wagon and is like fuck, I forgot how much I like murder, ugh, you should have never tried to make me change, THIS IS WHO I AM, and Dick’s just like….I literally do not know where you’re getting these conversations from, like am I there when you think we’re having them, am I just blacking out…do I need to see a doctor??? And Slade’s like YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, GRAYSON, FROM NOW ON I AM THE TITANS’ MORTAL ENEMY and runs off all dramatically while Dick’s like…..wut, and all the other Titans are like srsly, dude, what is WITH you too, and Dick’s all I DON’T EVEN KNOW, HE’S JUST LIKE THAT.

In all seriousness though, ultimately my take on their dynamic is that for Slade, Dick’s a combination of seeing himself and Grant in Bruce and Dick’s dynamic, and its like….all about his regret and missed opportunities. Like, he tends to be super judgey of Bruce and critical of how he trains (and raises Dick) and passive aggressively like *I* would never do that and Dick just kinda lifts an eyebrow and is all, you’ve literally killed two of your three kids.

But like, Slade kinda views himself as the anti-Batman and thus Dick is inadvertently cast as Grant, but its like Slade can never decide if he thinks Bruce is actually holding Dick back from his full potential and he wants to push Dick the way he thinks Bruce refuses to, or if like, he blames Bruce for getting Dick involved in this life, the same life that got Grant killed, and wants to protect Dick from Bruce and from the same thing happening to him. So its this weird mix of Slade manipulating Dick sometimes and pushing him way further than even Bruce ever does and saying its for his own good, but also randomly mixed in there are these bouts of extreme protectiveness, and there’s like zero rhyme or reason to which he is on any given day and there’s never any way to predict where Slade will land and so it always fucks with Dick’s head in a big way, he’s like…I’m getting whiplash.

And then on Dick’s end, like, the thing about Dick like I’ve mentioned before is he’s a huge people pleaser? Like he’s a very empathetic caretaker type personality who sinks a huge amount of his identity into being everything for everyone, to the extent that he tends to lose sight of himself in the process, sometimes. And he’s also a perfectionist who was raised with the most demanding father of all demanding fathers ever, and has a lot of abandonment issues and insecurities that Bruce’s mutant power is to trip over and set off in the worst possible ways.

And so I think the reason Dick keeps seeking Slade out every now and then is not because he ACTUALLY wants to ever take Slade up on his offer and genuinely become his apprentice or partner and like, turn his back on how he was raised. I think the point of it for Dick is the fact that each and every time he ends up affirming for himself no, wait, this ISN’T actually what I want, I just needed to be reminded of that, to remember that. That he always pulls himself back before going too far. And at the same time, I do think on some level he likes that Slade is this kinda constant in his life, that at the end of the day Slade is like…so fixated on his potential and his achievements and his worth as a fighter and a hero, because like….Dick Grayson is a person who craves validation but will never ask for it ever.

And he’s one of those people who everyone is just so USED to liking without even thinking about it that it never occurs to them when talking amongst themselves about how great he is, that they forget to say this to his actual face? And so he never hears it? And never asks for it, because gasp, then people might think he’s needy, and that would be bad, so he mostly just goes and sulks in his apartment about how nobody likes him and he’s terribad. Except for Slade. Slade always compliments him on what a good fighter and what a good planner and what a good leader he is, so hmm wonder what he’s doing. He hasn’t committed any crimes in six months and I can’t find any reason to track him down and bring him in? Ugh, that asshole. Okay, ummm, I guess I could tell him I’m thinking of turning evil again, I haven’t done that in a couple years, he’d probably buy it.

And then later Bruce is pacing around the Batcave wrathfully shaking his fist, like “Damn that man and his sick hold over my son, if only I knew how he keeps getting his hooks into you!”

And Dick basically shrugs and plays games on his phone. “He mostly just tells me I’m special, and that’s nice to hear.”

Bruce, still pacing and ranting and fist shaking: “What kind of evil genius is he, how master a manipulator he must be to be able to get inside your head and upend your normal views of right and wrong, to make you entertain these ideas of working with him, learning from him…”

Dick: No its seriously just the saying nice things about me bit. I like that.

Bruce: If only I had a code word or phrase I could use to snap you out of whatever brainwashing he seems to be able to affect you with any time you come near him, perhaps some kind of alien tech….

Dick: You could try “I’m proud of you, son.” I mean if you’re taking suggestions.

Bruce: There’s also the possibility of a magical component to consider, blast, I hate working with magic so of course he WOULD do something like that, ugh I suppose I could ask Zatanna or Jason Blood for help there…

Dick: Cool cool, well this has been a fun and productive chat as always, so you keep doing…all that…and meanwhile I’m gonna go ponder my fixation on father figures who are 100% more committed to obsessing over their failures as a parent than like…actual parenting of their actual kids.

Bruce, ten minutes later: Dick? Where are you? DID SLADE GET TO YOU AGAIN? RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE? CURSE THAT MAN AND HIS UNNATURAL SKILLS, HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?

Anyway, that’s Slade and Dick. There’s also the whole Renegade thing, when Dick asked for Slade’s help in infiltrating the Society of Super Villains in his fake villain identity as Renegade, with you know, lots of Slade trying to corrupt him and also trying to murder any supervillains who looked as his not!son the wrong way.

And then there was the time Slade brought his daughter Rose to Dick to train and said he couldn’t teach her himself because his track record with training his kids and them not ending up dead is like, not good, and he’s superstitious or something? Idk, I forget his logic, it was probably bad though.

And Slade was like, I only trust you to be a competent teacher for my daughter, I want you to teach her everything you know! Except for like, being a hero. None of that nonsense. I FORBID you from trying to make my daughter into a hero or the deal is off. (The deal being that if Dick did this, Slade would not do crime in Dick’s city for a year).

And Dick was like, you got a deal. I will train Rose but there will be NO trying to make her a hero, I swear. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And Slade was like okay, fine, you got a deal, I will absolutely still do crime and be villainous but only in every place except for Bludhaven specifically. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And then Dick tried to make Rose a hero and then Slade blew up Bludhaven and that was definitely a thing, so…yeah.

In summation, Slade and Dick are weird but also very interesting but also if we get another rehash of the Renegade/apprentice arc aka the Teen Titans cartoon adaptation of that story aka the single most popular Dick Grayson fic trope of all time, like….I swear I will probably get a brain bleed.

#Anonymous

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douxreviews · 6 years ago

Text

Aquaman Review

By CoramDeo

"What could be greater than a king?" "A hero."

SPOILER WARNING: There will be a brief non-spoiler review to start with, then I'll discuss the film in depth for those who've seen it.

Also, SARCASM WARNING: For whatever reason, I was in an extremely sarcastic mood when I wrote this review. As a result, I use sarcasm here. A lot.

By nature I love brevity: Absolutely gorgeous in every shot and action-packed, Aquaman is full to the brim with moments that will make die-hard comic book geeks and casual fans alike say things like, "Aw, YEAH!" and "That was awesome!" While there are a few themes, they don't do too much. All in all, it doesn't have a lot of depth, which is surprising for a movie set primarily on the ocean floor.

In Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Zack Snyder stuck Jason Momoa in an aquarium tank and filmed him for ten seconds. In Justice League, he used green screen to depict underwater action that sound exactly like it really would to human ears - dampened and unintelligible. For Aquaman, James Wan has been handed the task of trying desperately to make Aquaman look cool. Perhaps a more traditionally-minded director, Wan wisely decides that the decades-old tradition of great filmmakers deciding that scientific accuracy is for losers (and Nolans?) and not really caring what human ears would actually hear is probably not a thing to abandon at this time.

The result is what Neil DeGrasse Tyson might call 'disregarding science' and what I might call 'making an entertaining film.' The underwater action is engaging and epic, and every single frame of this film looks like a freaking Van Gogh as far as color goes. Where Snyder's DC offerings employed the vast range of color one might find in, say, a zebra, or a weekday newspaper, Wan uses revolutionary new techniques like 'orange,' 'bright blue,' and 'not actively desaturating your entire film.' He's got a keen sense of colorful beauty and contrast, and the movie is stunning.

Don't expect a particularly interesting plot; the quest and the story as a whole were fairly by-the-numbers. Neither should you anticipate any clever dialogue; the characters stumble their way through unnatural lines and gobs of exposition in a good half of the film's key exchanges. What you should expect to see, but not be blown away by, is some themes. I'll get into exactly what those themes are in the spoiler section below, because they are somewhat spoilery. And you definitely won't guess the entire plot by the end of the first act.

Though Aquaman isn't too deep, it's a heck of a lot of fun to watch and quite an enjoyable experience. I really do recommend that you go see this movie, if you enjoy fun action and pretty pictures. Also if you are a person who likes to mock the character of Aquaman, because I'm 90% sure that's the target audience.

3 out of 6 pretty pictures.

Friendly neighborhood Aquaman:

This film is not too family-friendly. There is a fair amount of swearing and foul language. If you want a fun movie you can take your kids to, go see Spider-Verse.

SPOILER ALERT: The review will discuss spoilers from here on out.

I mentioned that this film has some themes to it, which aren't exactly clear or well-realized. The first and most obvious of these is the uniting of two worlds which are completely alien to one another. This is the theme that is central to the first and last scenes of the film. In the former, a man from our world meets a woman from theirs as Aquaman narrates about ships meeting each other without any discernible force to propel them. The clash of cultures is evident in the opening sequence more than in any of the rest of the film. In the film's closing moments, too, we see these two representatives of completely different worlds coming together at long last, after what we know has been many years of waiting and longing.

The issue is that this particular theme doesn't really come across very well in the rest of the film. There are loads of situations and dynamics that on paper carry the theme, but in the context of the movie and the way it felt, it doesn't come through almost at all. Aquaman and Mera, themselves a pair from two worlds, are chased by both surface dwellers (Manta) and Atlanteans. They fight both on land and in the sea. And Mera clashes with the humans' culture almost as much as Arthur does with the Atlanteans'. Yet because the quest itself is entirely Atlantean in nature, and because the classically sci-fi world of Atlantis isn't too far off from other sci-fi worlds, which do center around humans, we don't really feel the blending of two worlds. Had the Atlanteans felt more alien, and the plot involved the human world more significantly, this theme would have been much more strong a presence.

The other theme I feel warrants particular scrutiny is that of a great unifier - or a hero - de-escalating conflict instead of escalating it. Interestingly enough, this unifier/hero is not Aquaman. The film's central character always escalates the conflict, at every turn of the plot. It is instead Atlanna (Nicole Kidman) who truly exemplifies this. If you think about it, every effect the character has on the film is to bring peace and unity, not chaos and conflict. She leaves Tom and Arthur in order to protect them. She tries to teach Orm and Mera, and Arthur when he finally meets her, to be better. And in the end, she arrives to end the conflict, saving the life of the film's antagonist. At key points, Atlanna brings people together and gets them to be more peaceful.

The issue with this theme is also that it's not overt enough. For this to be real and feel like it matters, Aquaman would've had to oppose it more directly at the start, and be convinced more significantly to act otherwise by the end. Instead, Arthur fights his way out of every situation right up until the end, and doesn't really show enough signs of having grown. The only thing he does even remotely displaying a change is his refusal to kill Orm, which is a more merciful act than his abandonment of Manta's father early on. Yet this is not particularly great, nor does it have much of an impact as his chance to kill Orm immediately disappears after his initial reluctance. Even with Mera and Atlanna encouraging him to learn throughout the film, he never really does in any way that matters.

A few other themes were present, but weren't really intended to make much of a difference. These include the bits about ocean pollution, which were not as heavy-handed as one might have expected and subsequently been annoyed by, and the bits that deal with duty to one's people. Both themes were present but not overpowering, and were quite tasteful in their execution.

Real quick, let's talk about the final battle. As I said before, I kind of feel like the target audience of this film is people who mock the character of Aquaman. The reason it feels that way is that all the things that Aquaman gets mocked for - talking to fish, riding seahorses, throwing water while underwater, etc. - appear in the third act as epic moments. It feels like the filmmakers just made a list of all the things Aquaman gets mocked for and then intentionally set out to make his scoffers cheer for those very things. Which is kind of fun.

Acting is acting like you're not acting:

The performances in this movie were neither outstanding nor terrible. They all pretty much hovered in the middle of the spectrum. At the high end were Nicole Kidman's Atlanna, Amber Heard's Mera, and Temuera Morrison's Tom Curry. At the lower end were Patrick Wilson's Orm, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II's Manta, and Dolph Lundgren's King Nereus. So, you know, all the bad-guys. Jason Momoa (Arthur/Aquaman) and Willem Dafoe (Vulko) hung out near the middle of the pack. One thing was reinforced in my mind by this film - no matter what character he plays and no matter how much of a good-guy that character is, there is nothing more terrifying than Willem Dafoe smiling.

Pensees:

-So, can we talk about how much Michael Beach (Manta's Dad) looks and sounds like Steve Harvey in certain shots? I'm just saying, I had a really hard time taking him seriously when I could so easily picture him hosting Family Feud.

-I was totally not expecting the Karathen to speak. That took me by surprise. Also, that was Julie freaking Andrews!

-Randall Park plays Dr. Stephen Shin after playing a character in Ant-Man and the Wasp. Interesting franchise leap, and for that role, too?

-There are a total of six actors listed as playing Arthur in this movie, not including Jason Momoa and his stunt doubles.

-Interesting choice, going with the 'quest based on a specific series of nonsensical instructions' plot that you most often see on animated children's shows.

-I wish they'd left Manta out of this film and saved him for a sequel. His character didn't have enough of a good role in this one to justify his inclusion.

-The final battle is probably the first cinematic battle between sharks, crabs, and... Attack seahorses? Attack seahorses. Alrighty then.

-Apparently, James Wan was offered the choice of directing this or the practically non-existent Flashpoint. He made the right decision, apparently, since Flashpoint seems cursed to lose all its directors.

-Despite anti-Snyder measures such as color and a non-confusing storyline, the Snyder slo-mo still remains. Which is perfectly fine; that was never my problem with Snyder.

Quotes:

Guy in the bar: "You that fish-boy from the TV?" Arthur: "It's fish-man."

Arthur: "We've got a bogey on our tail!" Mera: "What does that even mean?" Arthur: "Bad-guys behind us!" Mera: "Why didn't you just say that?" Arthur: "Bad-guys behind us!"

Arthur: "Redheads. You gotta love 'em." *jumps out of the plane*

*Mera pulls water from Arthur's skin and uses it to activate the device* Arthur: "Show-off. I could've just peed on it."

Mera: "You based our exit strategy on a children's book?" Arthur: "I didn't read the book. I just saw the movie."

Arthur: "I'm no leader. I came because I have no choice. I came to save my home, and the people I love."

3 out of 6 Attack seahorses.

CoramDeo likes to review movies and television. He thinks he's getting good, but he can handle criticism.

#Aquaman #Arthur Curry #DC Comics #DCEU #Doux Reviews #Movie Reviews #ICYMI

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singtheskyandfightlikehell · 6 years ago

Note

Edward nygma for the character thing

Thank you, anon, that is

exactly

the character I wanted to do this for! Hope you’re prepared for an essay :)

How I feel about this character

He’s my boy.

More seriously, he is my ultimate problematic fave. I’m the last person that would say he’s perfect, and that’s part of the reason I’m such a fan. That being said, there are a few characterizations of him that I don’t agree with. Most especially (and this actually goes for a number of Batman villains) I hate it when he’s written as someone who just kills people to be cruel/have fun/etc. That’s the Joker’s shtick and I would really appreciate if DC remembered that all their villains don’t have to be the Joker. I prefer an Edward who is very conflicted, constantly holding himself back, yet would never admit anything of the sort except in his most vulnerable moments. My favorite thing about Edward (when written the way I consider correct) is the way that he isn’t irredeemable yet isn’t redeemed. I like the idea that a part of him wants to become a good person, but that he genuinely doesn’t believe it’s possible.

Also - his theme: Part of the reason I hate the way DC sometimes makes everyone the Joker (besides the bit where I hate the Joker) is that it ruins the complexity of the villain. I love the fact that Edward’s theme is legitimately about intelligence. I love it when he actually let’s people go for solving his riddles, and when he isn’t bitter about it, because his whole thing is wanting people to be clever and to respect intelligence. Plus, I just really enjoy riddles.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Whoo boy, do I ship Edward with a lot of people. I’ll stick to the main ones, for now, but keep in mind that it does sort of change based on version.

#1 will always be Oswald, of course

Within Gotham, I’ve also shipped him with Jim and both Harveys. Probably others tbh.

in settings other than the show Gotham (comics, movies, 60s, etc.), I might also ship him with Jonathan or Bruce.

I don’t have any women in mind atm, but in certain versions I do see Ed as bisexual, so just bc I haven’t listed any doesn’t mean I’m anti Ed with women.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Hmm… when applicable, Query and Echo, I suppose. In Gotham, I’ve liked him teaming up with Zsasz and Barbara at various times, but if I had to pick one, I thought he and Lee were great as friends and business partners in the beginning of season four and I have not forgiven the show for ruining one of their only good relationships by forcing them to make out and destroy any chemistry they might have had

My unpopular opinion about this character

I have plenty, but the biggest, most glaring one will always be this: Edward has never been, is not, and WILL NEVER BE a dominant character either socially or sexually. Normally, I couldn’t care less about the fandom debates on characters’ sexual behaviors, but the way so many people in this fandom portray Ed is just blatantly wrong. At a certain level, it stops being about sex and starts being about character traits. Even ignoring the part in the comics where Ed is canonically submissive, bc tbh it has little to do with why I’m so passionately against the dominant portrayal, the Edward in most Gotham fanfiction is just… a completely different character. Not only does Ed fail to pull off any attempts at being dominant, he is actively unstable. And then there’s the safety issue. Any relationship where Edward is dominant automatically raises flags in my mind for abuse. Maybe the majority of the fandom isn’t familiar with sociology/psychology and how it applies to power in relationships, or maybe there’s something else going on, but the way Edward (and esp. Nygmobblepot) is portrayed by the fandom is extremely dangerous. It literally only took me a few minutes of research and like… a couple conversations I remembered from back when 50 Shades was all the rage to understand BDSM etiquette enough to know that this is not how it should work. Edward can’t even control himself, he first of all does not have the capability to control someone else, and second of all should not be put in the position where he thinks he can. From those conversations and minutes of research, the number one thing I learned was that if you have a power imbalance (generally a dom/sub type of thing, which is unsurprisingly popular among the Gotham fandom), the dominant one has to be able to take care of themself and the other person. They have to know their own limits and their partner’s limits. Edward certainly doesn’t fulfill the former parts of those requirements, so he sure as hell wouldn’t fulfill the latter.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Nygmobblepot

Or, on a non-ship note, that he could at least have a plot that doesn’t revolve around a poorly written woman

Kudos to anybody who read both my rants in this answer lmao. I promise if anybody sends any other characters, I’ll have less to say!

#long post

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beatrice-otter · 7 years ago

Text

An Open Letter to AO3 Regarding Fandom Tagging Changes

ETA: Checking the archive this morning, I found that the Wonder Woman (2017) tag no longer redirects to DCEU, but takes you directly to Wonder Woman (2017). Also, someone said that even last night, you could (from the DCEU page) click on the "Fandoms" list on the sidebar and filter to just Wonder Woman (2017), but I don't know if that worked last night when the tags were merged, because in my poking around in disbelief, I forgot the 'filter by fandom' option on the sidebar. I am writing another message to support thanking them for fixing the issue.

ETA 2: @melannen checked with the DCEU taggers and confirmed that redirecting the Wonder Woman (2017) tag was a mistake and not part of an overarching plan for DCEU or any other megafandom. Somebody clicked the wrong button, I guess, and they fixed it as soon as they figured out it had happened. Thank you to all the people working hard at tag wrangling and support to keep the archive going, and fix problems like this.

My original letter is below the read-more.

This is what I just sent off to AO3's Support. Hi! First, before I get started, I want you to know that I have loved AO3 since its beginning. I know how huge an endeavor it is, and how much work goes on behind the scenes (all of it on a volunteer basis), and I am grateful for it. I also understand that there are situations where there is no good answer to a problem because of either technical issues behind the scenes or conflicting needs/wants of users, and I actively try to be charitable in how I interpret the decisions the archive makes, for the reasons stated above. I know that large fandom trees were straining your servers, and you needed to find a solution. The flexibility of the tagging structure on AO3 is about 90% of the reason I love the archive. And by that I mean, the ability to use tags to find EXACTLY what I want to read, instead of slogging through hundreds (or thousands, in some fandoms) of fics I am not interested, is THE MAJOR THING AO3 has always (until now) done better than any other fic archive or website. My main frustrations with the archive have been when tags aren't granular enough--when I want them to be more specific than they are. For example, when I wish that character tags were filtered by whether someone was a major or minor character in the story, or when I'm trying to find fic specifically about X-Men: Days of Future Past and get redirected to all XMFC fic. And I don't think I'm alone in this. So any change to make them less granular, even when it might make the back end run smoother, is a big problem for me. In particular, your that solution to current tagging woes (merging sub-fandom tags into one over-arching fandom tag) has broken the archive for me in some of my fandoms, and (if it is rolled out across other fandoms in the same way) will break all of those fandoms for me, rendering the archive virtually useless for doing anything other than reading fic I have already bookmarked. As a first step, merging the individual movies of the Star Wars Original Trilogy together into one tag is a pretty good decision, and I was actually surprised that it hadn't been done already. It works because the three movies of that trilogy tell one unified story with pretty much the same characters. There may be people who love one movie in it and hate the others, but I've never met any; and the fandom has not historically split along intra-trilogy lines. There are very few people who, when they click on "Return of the Jedi" and get all OT fics, are going to be seriously upset or discommoded by it (and many who would actually PREFER to get all fics in that trilogy). So when I saw the tumblr post saying you were going to do that, I went, "oh, yeah, good idea, that makes sense," and went about my day. I assumed that other instances of merging things would be similarly merging things that were already a unified fannish category with little individual distinction and went on about my business. Then I found out that all of the DCEU movies have been merged together into one fandom. That, my friends, is WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL OF WAX. Unlike the three movies of the OT, there are NO characters that are shared between all DCEU movies. There are no overarching plot threads between them all. There are MAJOR differences in plot, characters, theme, and many other points, between these movies. It is quite possible to love one movie, and hate, loathe, and despise another. There are LARGE swathes of the fandom that don't overlap. There are many people, like me, who love one movie, like another, and actively try to avoid other movies in that megafandom. This is quite common for megafandoms. Every megafandom I'm familiar with--Star Wars, DC Comics, Marvel Comics, MCU, Stargate, DCEU, Star Trek--is too varied for people to like all of it equally; you end up with a handful of people who genuinely like the whole thing and most people who focus on parts of it. Except now, there's no way to separate out the stuff you ACTUALLY want to see from all the OTHER mass of stuff in the megafandom. And while that's not that big a deal in a small fandom where there isn't much fic to sort through anyway, it's a pretty BIG problem in a megafandom with is, you know, MEGA, with lots of fic. For example, I LOVE Wonder Woman (2017), am only occasionally interested in in the DCEU Superman and Justice League movies, and am only willing to read Suicide Squad fic if it's a Harley Quinn story that's mostly comics canon with a few Suicide Squad details. With the old way the archive was organized, this was not a problem. I could regularly look through the Wonder Woman (2017) tag for new fic, dip into Superman and Justice League on the rare occasions that I was in the mood for Batfleck and Cavilman, and pretty much never have to deal with anything Suicide Squad. Now, I click on Wonder Woman (2017), and instead of getting pages of exactly what I want, I get the entire DCEU. On that first page of 20 fics, there are currently only four that I would even be interested in considering reading. Your tag change has dropped my rate of finding interesting things from 100% to 20%. That is an 80% reduction in my ease of finding fic. An 80% reduction in how useful your tagging system is. Let me repeat that: your new tagging system has decreased the usefulness of this archive by 80%. We're not talking, "oh, a small reduction in user satisfaction for a HUGE gain in back-end functionality." I don't know how much easier this makes things on the back-end for you, but it is a FRICKING HUGE reduction in foundational ease-of-use for the entire site. This is not a minor change. This makes the most basic function of the site--finding fic to read--80% harder. The only scenario in which I would view this as a workable solution--not a good solution, mind you, but one that I could accept--is if it was literally a choice between this and closing the archive. Let's talk about what my use of the archive would have to look like going forward if this change is maintained and expanded, so you can see what I mean. Up until this change, if I wanted Wonder Woman fic, I clicked on the tag and got it! Now I can't do that. So my options are: 1) slogging through the entire DCEU, 80% of which I don't want. This is the only way to be sure I see every Wonder Woman fic I actually want. Problem: it will take me at least 80% longer to find stuff I ACTUALLY want. So, I would be less likely to look for new fic, and more likely to just go re-read old favorites, because it's so much quicker to do. As a reader and a writer, this is a problem for me, because I do want to read new fic, and I want other people to be able to find MY new fic. 2) putting together a long string of boolean search terms, probably based on characters. So, for example, I couldn't just search for "Diana (Wonder Woman)" because she appears in too much Justice League and Batman Vs. Superman fic (which I very seldom want to read). Searching for her would be better than just DCEU, because I wouldn't get Suicide Squad, but it would still be a ton of slogging through fics I don't want. I could search for "Diana (Wonder Woman)" and use the "Search within results" box to exclude Justice League and Batman and Superman. But that would miss any fics about Etta Candy or Steve Trevor or Hippolyta or any other Amazon in which Diana didn't appear. So, then, maybe use boolean search terms for Diana OR Steve OR Etta OR Hippolyta, and eliminating Justice League and Batman and Superman. Except that would still miss any fic that is, say, general worldbuilding for Themyscira, that doesn't have Diana or Hippolyta in it. And I love worldbuilding, but not everybody tags for it. Do I have to build up a boolean search string for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE in the hopes of catching everything? How many boolean terms can I use at once? Or do I need to run several separate searches, which would mean sorting through a lot of these fics multiple times, as they would pop up under multiple search strings? I would STILL probably end up missing things that I would be interested in, and it would take A SHIT-TON of extra effort on my part. Far more effort, for less reward. And, again, as both a reader who wants to find new fic and as a writer who wants other people to be able to find MY fic when I write it, everything about this is terrible. 3. Use AO3 Savior to do some of the filtering for me. I don't know, blacklisting some tags would probably cut down on the number of boolean terms to rack up, but then I would have to go in and un-blacklist things on the rare occasions I actually wanted to read Batfleck fic. But this would become of less and less utility as people stopped tagging for individual movies and just tagged everything with the current canonical metatag for DCEU. Also: there is only one site I know if in which browser extensions are required to make the site useable, and that is tumblr which is a shambling hellscape of a site. Is that AO3's new goal? To become as user-hating as tumblr? Because while I appreciate how hard you guys work, that's what this change feels like. Now, I know you may be reading all this and going, "well, yeah, Wonder Woman fic is a problem, but you won't even notice the changes in most fandoms!" Let me present to you a list of the fandoms I have read the most of over the last year: Star Wars (but only some parts of that fandom, and not others) Star Trek (but only some parts of that fandom, and not others) MCU (but only some parts of that fandom, and not others) Wonder Woman (but not the rest of the DCEU) DC Comics (but only some parts of that fandom, and not others) Rivers of London And much as I love Rivers of London, I've spent a LOT more time reading fic in those other fandoms, because there's simply so much more of it, even when you only count the small pieces of each megafandom I'm interested in. What this means is that if you keep this tagging change and roll it out to other megafandoms, you will SERIOUSLY AND FUNDAMENTALLY BREAK how I use the archive. And given a) how many other people on this archive are in megafandoms and b) how large a percentage of the people in megafandoms only read fic in one corner of that megafandom ... you are seriously and fundamentally breaking the websites functionality for a very large percentage of your userbase. At one fell swoop, you turn AO3 from an archive I love and support (including financially) to an archive I hope is replaced (soon) with something better, because it's a pain in the ass pretty much every time I try to use it. Please, please, please, find some other way to fix the problem. If you need money for more servers, or to hire a professional coder to do some serious backend changes to make things workable with the old tagging structure, I'd be fine with that and I would contribute to any fundraiser you did. Your current choice is not a solution, it's a nightmare.

comments Comment? http://ift.tt/2EUYkRw

#archive of our own #ao3 #wonder woman #fanfic #fanfiction

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cetacian · 4 years ago

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The Fall and Rise of Orca in DC Comics: Batman Vol 1 #579-581: Problems with Larry Hama’s Writing Part 1

While Larry Hama was far from the worst writer, there were some key issues with the three part story “Orca”, covered in Batman Vol 1 issues #579-581.

The Minor Issues

Under Cut for Length

The word vomit narration boxes

While it’s primarily confined to the second issue, the drawn-out narration boxes often slow down the pacing of the story by trying to sound smarter than they actually are. I think if puzzles and fragmented images played a larger role in the story, it could’ve worked a little better. None of this narration would’ve looked out of place if, for instance, this had been a Riddler story. Even so, it still would’ve been wiser to not overdo it.

A potentially interesting subplot that goes nowhere

At the beginning of the story, Batman is accosted by some of the residents and homeless of the low income waterfront district near the Gotham Aquarium. They are convinced that he is siding with rich villain Camille Baden-Smythe because he is tracking Orca after she stole the Flame of Persia diamond from Camille:

Orca, somewhat more understandably, believes the same:

The problem is that many of these characters jump to conclusions based on Camille’s own assumptions in interviews in newspapers and on TV:

Now I’m not saying that people can’t be misled by the news media, as that happens frequently in real life, but this story seems to imply that the people of Gotham have incredibly short memories. I’d like to think that word of mouth about Batman saving random people from muggings would have more sway over the waterfront population’s opinions of him than someone they already know to be crooked, but apparently not. Regardless, this subplot of Gotham’s lower classes distrusting Batman never gets resolved one way or another, making me wonder why it was included in the first place.

Grace’s circle of friends are less characters and more props that serve to move the plot along or to slow it down with their own subplots

Grace is shown to have three people she’s close to:

Salman Jared

Tony

And the young boy Eugene.

Out of the three, Grace is only shown interacting directly with Tony and Eugene. Tony is the most minor of the three, only speaking to Grace briefly in the second issue to talk about trying to fence the diamond again after the botched first attempt that led to Salman’s murder. Grace then makes the decision to extort Camille for the diamond’s return, while Batman, in disguise as a homeless veteran, “overhears” their conversation behind a glass window in Grace’s soup kitchen via lipreading. Salman and Eugene play bigger parts in the overall story, though Salman gets short shifted in the narrative and Eugene’s part hijacks it almost completely.

We never see Grace interact directly with Salman and only learn his name from Orca after he’s already dead:

It makes it hard to take Grace’s grief seriously when we know very little about Salman as a character, outside of the facts that he distrusted Batman, he wanted to help Grace get money for good causes and he was presumably a patron of Gotham Gym based on his teeshirt. It also doesn’t help that Grace didn’t check on him after he got shot prior to getting into a confrontation with the shady sailors and Batman.

Her behavior is contradicted by her dialogue when Batman later informs her of Salman’s death during their second fight. Her attack on the sailors seemed tp imply that she knew they had shot Salman, did she think he wasn’t hurt as badly as he was? It’s very muddled.

Salman’s biggest contribution to the story happens in his last moments, explaining Orca’s motives for stealing and fencing the diamond and nearly revealing the connection between between Orca and Grace Balin before conveniently dropping dead:

It kind of makes a senseless death less tragic when a character seems to exist solely to be an exposition dump and nothing else.

In the end, Grace doesn’t even visit Salman’s gravesite in the potter’s field on Heart Island. It’s teased at first that she might, but the shadowy figure is revealed to be Batman. He came to place a rose on the coffin that Carla, one of Salman’s homeless friends, wanted to place, but was unable to due to the fact that she and the other homeless were not informed by the police where Salman’s body was taken after being recovered from the crime scene:

It seems ironic and sad that that the woman Salman was willing to risk his life to help wasn’t even willing to risk being seen in her now permanent hybrid form to say her final farewells.

Eugene ends up playing a bigger part in the story, though his own subplot sidetracks the main story just as it heads towards the climax. Eugene works at Grace’s soup kitchen while his mother works long hours at Camille’s clothing manufacturing factory. In the process of moving operations, Eugene’s mother is kept even later than usual one night to make up for the loss of hours. This leaves the boy vulnerable to Camille, who is also the owner of the apartment building Eugene and his mother live in. Camille soon coerces the boy into using a molotov cocktail to set fire to the aquarium, with the intent being to force Grace to leave the premises so that the property can cleared and used for commercial purposes:

Though, thankfully, the undercover Batman, while leaving the soup kitchen, comes across the boy before he can do the deed:

Eugene then explains what happened and leads Batman to his apartment building, where Batman finds evidence that will not only help convict Camille of several crimes related to her threatening the boy, but also of the bribe she gave the building inspector to say everything was up to code when it was far from it. This ultimately leads to the arrest of Camille and the building inspector after the climatic conflict with Orca and her ultimate escape.

While I do think Eugene’s subplot is the strongest of the three friend characters, it feels like it’s only tangentially tied to the main plot. We’re never told or shown that Eugene knows anything about Grace’s activities as Orca or the fencing plot, so his presence in the story ultimately serves to show how awful Camille is, make Batman realize that she’s not just callous, but actually criminal in her actions and to see her be brought to justice. However, given that Grace isn’t around by that point to see Batman find out this information or Camille’s ultimate fate, it ends up feeling a bit disconnected from the main story.

#Landlubber (OOC)#Apex Predator (Muse Images)#orca #grace balin #batman #dc comics #larry hama

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eremji · 7 years ago

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Thoughts on Infinity War, and Thanos' Motivation

Disclaimer: I'm not a Marvel expert. Some of my information on comic plots was collected from wikis and secondary articles, due to a lack of access to a primary source or the simple inaccuracy of my own memory. I also mostly enjoyed Infinity War, and any criticism herein should not be taken as decrying the whole.

Spoilers behind the cut. Please close your eyes and scroll super fast, block tags, duck and cover, etc. if you’re on mobile, because, seriously, spoilers.

An extremely simplified version of movie production:

From a production standpoint, Iron Man was a huge risk for the studios fronting the money for it. After critical and box office flops from 90s Batman films and other various superhero action flicks, studios typically found comic book movies to underperform in comparison to budgetary requirements for good visuals, making them unattractive. Marvel has taken a large step away from making comic book movies, to making comic book adaptations, because what works on the page doesn’t work in a moving picture.

Marvel Studios’ cinematic success has almost nothing to do with how compelling the source material is – because some of Marvel’s library is pretty much slush pile garbage. This was before your average artist or consumer realized you can get pretty literary while still having cool pictures on a page. They’re valuable because they propelled the comic industry to widespread success, but the source is best examined with a critical eye towards tone deaf and anachronistic viewpoints on race, sexuality, gender, and pretty much everything else. Marvel Studios has done a fairly consistent job of divorcing the cinematic canon from the original medium’s baggage, to which I attribute a large portion of the films’ success in comparison to very lukewarm iterations of DC or X-Men.

As media consumers, we’re accustomed to having a finished product to hold and analyze. When considering story, in terms of plotting and pacing, I personally believe it’s most helpful to compare the scope of the MCU production to be similar to that of a television show, rather than a traditional movie or movie series. It may be startling to know that even very successful television shows, like Breaking Bad or Stranger Things, often don’t even have all the episodes completely written out prior to beginning filming of a season.

Marvel Studios’ movies have been in production for ten years, with many, many different hands in the pot, and earlier scripts don’t always set up the best planting and payoff of character or plot elements later in the continuity. (For visual learners, Lindsay Ellis has a very layman-friendly example using clips from Mad Max: Fury Road.)

You can see where this might start to cause some consistency issues.

Crossover event comics and the necessary sacrifice of emotional development:

For anyone walking in to expecting Avengers: Infinity War to have a lot of character development, I’m very sorry for your loss.

There was never going to be a grand emotional reunion for Steve and Bucky, and there was never going to be whole hours dedicated to bonding and witty bickering and new friendships that weren’t absolutely vital to the plot. That we got things like the Steve-and-Bucky hug, the jealous Star-Lord vs. Thor moments, and Steve introducing himself politely to Groot were for the benefit of the audience more than advancing the plot, which is a huge victory in terms of crushing as much as possible into a theatrical cut.

A film production has a finite amount of screen time to allocate before a movie becomes bloated. When people joke about Infinity War being the most ambitious crossover event, I don’t think some of them realize how on the mark that is from a production standpoint. Hard decisions have to be made between what isn’t vital to advancing plot in a compelling way and what was retained to meet audience expectations. Infinity War often felt like it tried to recapture that Joss Whedon-ish sassy-but-kinda-flat comedy from the first Avengers, and that meant punchlines for jokes sometimes land at emotionally inappropriate times because characters just don’t have cinematic space for witty banter between shooting aliens and losing everyone they ever cared about.

There’s a difference in author-audience expectations of what’s important in these team-up movies, and also gaps between fans actively participating in fandom because they love the characters and casual moviegoers looking for a blockbuster. It all comes down to how much each party in the creative transaction is willing to settle for. Traditionally, Marvel has set up the character-driven plots and subplots in individual comics with occasional crossover cameos for a few issues when another character or baddie is relevant to the plot. The large crossover events, like Civil War, Contest of Champions, or Infinity are almost always plot-heavy and character-light.

This is so much easier in comic book format, where multiple series can be coordinated in regular, paced releases, and different comic issues may happen parallel or directly before/after the event crossovers. Movies take a significantly larger amount of time to produce, through pre-production, filming, post-production, marketing, and distribution.

A brief (I’m serious, they’ve been making comics since the 1939) explication of source material:

One of the largest disconnects for me, as a fan of both the comics and the movies, was the change in Thanos’ motivation, but not his mission. For those who aren't aware of the origins of his character, he essentially wants to murder people to impress a girl – Mistress Death, to be specific. He wants to kill half of all life in the universe so that he can be her equal and win her affection.

Dorkly did a pretty solid breakdown of some of Thanos’ Infinity Gauntlet story and the innate misogynistic slant of his character, including comic panels from the original source material, that paints comic!Thanos an internet Nice Guy™. (Feel free to skim the article; it's a bit slow to get to the point.) Perusing the comic panels, you can see Thanos is hella into negging and is spiteful when Mistress Death shows interest in another dude (spoilers: it’s Deadpool). He clearly believes love is possession, and if he can’t have what he wants, then, good golly, no one can.

He’s also really off the rails – dubbed the Mad Titan even before his objectification mega crush on a badass corpse with a wicked bod – and is personally responsible for destroying Titan. He’s not a villain that believes he’s the hero, and this shift away from his motivation being dangerous-and-horrible to dangerous-and-misguided casts the first shadow on the premise.

My (very personal) opinion on the execution:

MCU essentially played keep away with some of the more supernatural elements of the source material, at least until introducing Dr. Strange. In doing so they had to construct Thanos’ motivation for a comic-book-inspired task out of whole cloth. There is no Mistress Death. Secondary characters that were discrete entities are often pulling double duty*.

(*Or triple. See also: Bucky Barnes, who is wearing the backstory of Captain America's gay best friend Arnie Roth and now White Wolf. If you were previously unaware of this factoid, please enjoy the irony that Marvel’s biggest pro-American propaganda piece had an openly gay best friend circa early 80s but Civil War ham-fistedly had to work in that awkward-as-fuck smooch between Steve and Peggy Carter’s hot young romantic surrogate niece.)

So, okay, they have to reinvent Thanos, who we've only seen in a handful of post-credit scenes and vicariously learned, through Loki in the first Avengers movie and then Gamora in Guardians, is a conqueror and also really Bad News™.

I buy everything so far. And why not? Black Panther made me love Killmonger and his rage, and the parallels to contemporary issues made him fairly empathetic without highlighting that his perspective was necessarily the ‘correct’ one. Similarly, Spider-Man: Homecoming’s villain, Vulture, was believable in the sort of suffering everyman-turned-desperate way, highlighting the fallout of the Space Invaders vs. Avengers destruction without suggesting the audience should root for Vulture.

In general, I am on board for these movies going straight for the throat on the big baddies of the comic universe because movie production is lengthy, expensive, and time-consuming. Dear Marvel Studios, Give me Avengers vs. Dr. Doom. Love, Me.

A villain can be built up over the course of a single movie (or two). Armed with this optimism, and heartened by recent Marvel Studios successes in characterization, I walked into Infinity War expecting as much gratuitous violence, universe-cleansing genocide, and genuine fear of Thanos as I could possibly expect from something Disney-adjacent.

I knew people were going to die. Let me say – there was no way to spoil this for me. The Infinity Gauntlet comic series starts with half the universe dying. I expected there to be ‘casualties’ and even though the Russo bros said that this wasn’t two parts of the same movie, it’s certainly serial. At minimum, I was expecting Thanos bent on conquering the cosmos, worshiping at the altar of death in the abstract, if not groveling for an inevitable-cosmic-force-turned unattainable woman.

And yet. And yet.

We got the purple version of the Kool-Aid man with some seriously unaddressed parent-child issues (mirrored in Tony Stark’s loss of Peter Parker) and a wholly unimaginative motivation. I won’t go too far much into the movie’s alarming efforts at framing Thanos as a sympathetic character despite his genocidal and horribly abusive tendencies, because I am A) not an expert at identifying film technique and B) the push for Thanos to be an empathetic villain has been analyzed elsewhere.

Phenomenal, limitless cosmic power and all you want to do is break shit? For all the immaturity of it, Thanos’ comic book motivation was more believable.

To those arguing that the his motivations in the movie are predicated off of him being the Mad Titan and therefore not rooted in logic: The film did not explicitly plant the idea – except in the way that we know genocide is bad due to an innate sense of morality – that he was unhinged and power-mad, nor did they really give the audience any payoff.

Instead, we get, ‘I don’t really want to do this, but I must.’

There was a point where I started wondering why the hell he wasn’t just being steadily roasted by the Avengers for not receiving some sort of basic education in the evils of wealth disparity and resource distribution.

As an audience member, was I meant to believe this incredibly powerful entity at the center of a massive fleet, accompanied by a group of talented and sycophantic followers, couldn’t think of a better way to bring ‘balance’ to the universe?

Perhaps Thanos’ justification is simply the conceit of the way the universe operates, required to propel a plot forward. However, this is also poorly explained. There are many unanswered questions: Why is it a given that killing half the universe will create balance? What does balance look like? Is this state permanent or is it a routine, necessary evil in order to stop entropy? Is balance a socioeconomic state, or does it have some greater cosmological significance? We know that Titan fell after rejecting Thanos’ extreme solution, but would the population have actually endured and flourished if his plan had been carried out?

For a movie that did so well at handling a cast so phenomenally large as the one involved in its production, Infinity War really didn’t go in very hard on selling Thanos. I would have been perfectly happy if Marvel Studios had taken the risk to lean in hard on making the movie Thanos-centric, given Thanos even more screen time to develop his character, motives, and the rules of the universe – and then make Avengers 4 about, you know, the actual avenging.

Parting notes:

What are we left with?

Infinity War gifted us with some badass action clips, a fairly jarring death performance by Tom Holland, Cheerful Goatherd Bucky Barnes, and emotionally traumatizing bubbles. It never really sells the conundrum it sets up via Thanos. You'll never hear me insist a peice of art or entertainment is required to carry some sort of social commentary or moral message, but I feel like this could have been, tonally, a vastly different film had it considered the core of Thanos' motivations the same way it considered Vulture's or Killmonger's.

Also, where the hell is Adam Warlock (set up at the end of GotG: Vol. 2; revisit planting and payoff) to shit talk Thanos’ lack of villainous veracity when we need him?

#infinity war spoilers #infinity war #thanos #spoilers #seriously hella spoilers #mcu #marvel comics #infinity gauntlet #there was whiskey involved in writing this #so many links #thanos' motives #review #explication #meta

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