#I can barely keep myself from dying in a body of water

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

I am disabled and my ability to swim is really dissed

[foldingfittedsheets]

Before my beloved and I moved in together they were living with roommates in a place that didn't have a bathtub. Now, a reasonable person might conclude from this that baths would be out of the equation in a home with only one standing shower and no tub.

But these people weren't quitters. Naturopathic doctors and acupuncturists they were dedicated to treating their bodies well and one of the ways they liked to do that was hydrotherapy. Most people are familiar with this through things like polar bear plunges. You sit in a hot tub then jump in freezing water.

It's supposedly good for you and they were way into it. But again, no tub. They'd do hydro showers but it just wasn't the same. These people were not quitters, though. (One of them is the boob soap person, so it really isn't a surprise that she goes hard on everything). So they got what looked like two big metal old timey tubs but which were actually animal food troughs and set them up in the garage. They set up a water heater and god knows how they emptied the tub after, I think there was hoses involved? A pump maybe? I honestly can't remember. Anyway! Voila, hydrotherapy on demand.

I was not aware of this. So when I came over after a long day and my beloved said we should take a bath I was extremely puzzled. I only knew about the one shower. They showed me the garage tubs. I did want a bath and I wasn't really sure about the setup, but honestly I'll try anything once if only for the story, so I agreed.

Fun fact about me though. I haaaate being cold. I've been 0% body fat most of my life with skin barely keeping my bones enclosed. I'm always cold. My favorite activity at the time was sitting directly in front of space heaters. My shower temperatures turn me lobster red and make my beloved cringe. Willingly dunking myself into cold water is the antipathy of my entire deal.

On the night in question I happily submerged into the warm tank, pleasantly surprised by the big silly improvised tub. Which again was meant for livestock. My knees bumped companionably against my beloved as we soaked in the hot water. After a while they rose to go into the cold water. "You don't have to," they told me.

But I was haunted. I wouldn't be doing hydro if I just stayed in the warm tub. Maybe hydro was amazing. It has all these health benefits. I desperately didn't want to but I stood up with them. We were having this nice intimate evening in the garage, just us, I felt safe. I was gonna do it.

They stepped easily into the cold tub, dunking matter of factly into the frigid water. I went to step. I did. I really really tried. My foot went in and I started shrieking, my progress arrested by the total state of shock I entered when my warm toasty foot hit that smug arctic water tension. My beloved started laughing as my pitch ascended the deeper my foot went into the cold water.

I started loudly narrating my discomfort as my foot touched the bottom and I willed my other foot up to join it. "THIS IS VERY COLD," I yelled, "IT'S SO COLD I THINK I MIGHT DIE HOW ARE YOU JUST CASUALLY SITTING IN THIS FREEZING COLD WATER?! I'M DYING- I THINK I'M DYING! I'M DYING BUT WE'RE HERE, TOGETHER! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THESE EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO COLD ALL MY MOLECULES HAVE COMPRESSED INTO A SOLID STATE!"

I ended up with both feet planted in the cold tub, water up to my shins, bellowing and panting while my beloved laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. I hunkered over the cold water, squatting like a frozen gargoyle.

My beloved was trying to psyche me up while I willed my body to obey me. In a sudden jerky drop like a puppet whose strings have been cut I plummeted my body into the cold and let out a shriek that I’m sure could have shattered glass and then leapt up out of the water at a speed relative to a rocket achieving space flight. I didn’t like it.

When we got back inside my beloved's roommates were collapsed on the ground with tears in the their eyes from how hard they'd been laughing. They and probably every neighbor down the block had heard my pterodactyl screeching and narration because the garage was not remotely soundproof.

[worldlxvlys]

I have a request, if you’re taking them

can you do a dwb!Matt where reader relapses badly, and he has to help her through her withdrawals

if not that’s totally cool, but I’m a sucker for angsts so I thought I’d ask

help you

dealer! matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, drug addiction/ withdrawals, mentions of nausea, cursing

a/n -> please read with caution !!

i love you all and my dms are always open if you need to talk <33

MATT’S POV

“i’m fine, matt” she said for what had to be the millionth time.

she smacked my hand away with her own, while she attempted to pour water into a cup with her free one.

her hands were so shaky, she could barely get any of it in the cup. she let out a frustrated sigh, setting the pitcher down onto the counter.

“here” i spoke as i poured the water for her, handing her the glass.

“you hungry?” i asked as i grabbed a paper towel, cleaning up the spill.

“no” she spoke, moving her arm to her forehead to wipe the sweat that began to accumulate.

“when’s the last time you ate something?” i asked her.

“can we turn down the heat?” she asked, continuing to wipe her sweaty skin.

“the heat isn’t on, here” i spoke as i grabbed a washcloth, soaking it in cool water. i folded the washcloth in half, guiding her to sit down on the couch.

she placed the washcloth on her forehead, laying her head back with a sigh.

“is there anything you actually want to eat?” i asked, moving back towards her refrigerator. i was aware that she didn’t have an appetite, but she hadn’t eaten all day long.

“no, matt. i just don’t want to feel like this, i wanna go back to normal” she replied. “how long is this gonna last ? i don’t think i can take much more of this”

“hey, it’s ok. i’m gonna help you through this” i spoke as i made my way back to her, a granola bar in hand.

“no, you don’t get it. i feel like i’m dying, matt. my entire body aches, the thought of food makes me nauseous, i’m covered in sweat, and i’ve never felt weaker in my life. you wanna help? let me take something, anything. please, i need it matt” she looked at me with her eyes slightly widened, clutching onto my shirt.

i’d never seen her look so helpless.

“you know i can’t do that, baby” i spoke, grabbing her hand. “i’m gonna run you a bath, ok? how hot do you want the water?” i asked her.

“a bath isn’t gonna do shit, matt. you know what i need. let me take something or leave me alone”

“i’m trying to help you-” i started, quickly being cut off, “help me? you did this to me. this is your fault. tell me, what do you think happens when you sell drugs to people? do you know how many people you’ve made just like me? you’re no saint, matt. you’re actively helping people ruin their lives”

she didn’t mean it. of course, she didn’t . she’d say anything to get her fix. but that didn’t make her words hurt any less.

she wasn’t telling me anything i hadn’t told myself before. and i hated that i let her end up like this. she was right, this was my fault.

i should’ve done a better job at protecting her, at keeping her safe. i couldn’t do anything about failing in the past, but i damn sure could prevent it from happening in the future.

“you’re right, this is my fault. but letting you erase your progress now would only end up hurting you more in the long run. the only way i can help you is by being here for you. so you can yell at me, be mad at me, be annoyed with me, i don’t care. i’m not going anywhere, okay?”

instead of saying anything she just blinked up at me, nodding her head gently.

“now, how hot do you want your bath water?”

dwb! matt masterlist

main masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[soulofapatrick]

Let me help you - Rhysand x female reader 

Summary: Your period hits and Rhysand is there to help 

Words: 3.8K

Warnings; periods; pain

Y/N's POV

The moment I wake, the pain hits me like a tidal wave. It’s not the usual ache that comes with a period—no, this feels like my body is being torn apart from the inside. A low, guttural groan slips past my lips, my arms instinctively wrapping around my middle as the cramps twist and tighten like a vice. Sharp, unforgiving. It feels like I’m being ripped in two, like something is clawing its way through my flesh. 

“Gods,�� I rasp, barely able to get the word out as another wave of pain surges, more violent than the last. It’s as if someone has taken a blade and is dragging it through my insides, slicing me open from the core. My skin is slick with cold sweat, each breath shallow and ragged as I curse whatever deity is responsible for this torture. Feyre and Morrigan warned me, but this… this is something else.

No one told me it would be like this.

I try to move, to do anything other than lie here helplessly, but the agony drags me under again, my muscles seizing so tightly I can hardly think. I force myself to sit up, gasping at the sensation of everything twisting in my gut. The room spins, the dizziness overwhelming. My vision darkens at the edges, and I have to grip the bedpost just to keep from passing out.

I try to breathe through the pain—deep breaths, in and out—but every inhale feels like it’s being cut short by the sharpness, the claws tearing into me from the inside. I can feel my pulse hammering in my ears, drowning out everything but the relentless throb. My whole body feels wrong, like it’s unraveling, bleeding me dry.

I need to get up. I need to clean myself up. I can feel the sticky warmth of blood pooling between my thighs, seeping through my nightgown, spreading like ink across the sheets. I have to get to the bathroom, grab a fresh pad, do anything to stop this mess. I manage to swing my legs over the side of the bed, but as soon as my feet hit the floor, the pain spikes again. A strangled cry escapes me, and I clutch my stomach, hunched over.

The world spins, black spots dancing in my vision. My legs feel like they’re made of water, trembling uncontrollably beneath me. I take a step—just one—and the ground rushes up to meet me. My knees hit the floor with a sickening thud, but I barely feel it through the haze of pain. I can’t move, can’t breathe. My body is paralysed by the sheer force of it.

Blood drips down my legs, a steady trickle that feels endless. Too much. Too much blood. It’s warm, sticky, and I know there’s more than there should be. It’s soaking through my nightgown, through the carpet beneath me, and the humiliation stings, but I’m too weak to do anything about it. My mind is too clouded with pain to even care.

Another cramp hits—harder this time. The pain shoots through me like lightning, and I gasp, doubling over as my muscles lock in agony. It feels like I’m dying. Gods, it really feels like I’m dying. Like something is clawing its way through my womb, ripping me apart from the inside out. My body feels like a battlefield, each pulse of pain a fresh wound.

And then, through the storm of agony, I feel him.

A gentle touch at the edges of my mind—Rhysand. His presence, usually so comforting, now feels too close, too intimate. His mental claws brush against my shields, tender and concerned. He’s looking for me, probably wondering why I didn’t show up for breakfast. I can feel his worry like a pressure against my thoughts, his claws scraping lightly as he tries to find a way in.

Are you alright? His voice, gentle yet insistent, echoes in my mind.

But I can’t let him in. Not now. Not like this. I’m covered in blood, curled on the floor like a wounded animal, and the idea of him seeing me this vulnerable is unbearable. So I slam my shields shut, cutting him off. Go away, I think, my mind a tangled mess of pain and shame. I can’t let him see me like this.

The pain flares again, and I curl tighter into myself, my arms wrapping around my middle in a vain attempt to hold myself together. My body trembles with each new wave of agony, and the blood… there’s so much blood. I can feel it running down my legs, sticky and warm, pooling beneath me, soaking into the plush carpet. I can’t stop it. I can’t even move.

I press my forehead to the cold floor, trying to focus on the coolness, anything to distract from the hell raging inside me. The cramps come in relentless waves, each one worse than the last, sharp and deep like knives being twisted into my flesh. I dig my nails into the carpet, trying to ground myself, but nothing helps. It’s unbearable. I’m suffocating under the weight of it, drowning in the pain, the embarrassment, the blood.

All I can do is lie here, curled up on the floor, hoping for it to end, knowing I have no choice but to endure it.

I wake to the sharp sound of the door slamming shut, jolting me out of the haze of pain and darkness. My mind is slow to catch up, my body even slower. Everything hurts, but the agony in my abdomen is the worst of it—sharp and brutal, cutting through the fog like a jagged blade. It feels like I’m being torn in two. I can barely move. My limbs are heavy, leaden, and when I try to sit up, the world spins around me.

Then I hear him.

"Shit," Rhysand’s voice is frantic, breathless, and close—too close. "What in the name of the Mother—" His words stop short as his footsteps close the distance between us, and before I can blink, he’s kneeling beside me. "Gods, there’s so much blood."

I try to respond, to tell him it’s fine, that I’m fine, but the words stick in my throat. I feel his fingers gently brush the hair off my clammy forehead, and even though I know I look a mess, a soft, involuntary whimper escapes me. Despite the situation, despite the pain, there’s a strange comfort in his touch—familiar, safe. I hate myself for needing him like this, for craving the warmth of his presence. He’s not mine, not really. We’re just… whatever we are.

But right now, I don’t care. Right now, I need him.

I manage to crack my eyes open, just enough to see the way his usually cool composure is cracking, his violet eyes wide with panic. "Why didn’t you say anything?" His voice is raw, full of frustration and worry, his hands hovering helplessly over me, unsure of what to do. He’s always so collected, always in control. Seeing him like this—flustered, panicking—it does something to me, something that tugs at my chest, despite the pain.

I don’t have the strength to speak. But I feel him again, the soft, familiar claws of his mind brushing against mine, asking for entrance. He’s trying to get through, trying to understand what’s happening. I almost shut him out again, the embarrassment of my situation too overwhelming. I don’t want him to see me like this—weak, vulnerable, covered in blood. But I can’t. I’m too tired, too shattered. I let him in, completely, giving him access to everything I’ve been trying to hide.

The moment he’s inside my mind, his panic shifts, morphing into concern, deep and sincere. His mental presence wraps around me like a warm blanket, his voice now a soft whisper in my thoughts. Tell me how to help you, darling. Please.

I feel the faintest shiver roll through me at the sound of his voice in my head, at the way he calls me darling. It’s always been just a word—nothing special—but now, with him, it feels like so much more. Even through the haze of pain, that flutter of warmth blooms in my chest, spreading through me. I wish I could answer him, but I can’t. The pain is all-encompassing, every thought, every breath consumed by it.

Without waiting for an answer, Rhysand moves. He scoops me into his arms with an ease that surprises me, as if I weigh nothing at all. I don’t even protest, too weak to do anything but lean into him, my head resting against his chest. His scent is everywhere now—night and mist, the faintest hint of salt and something purely him. It’s intoxicating, overwhelming my senses, and for a moment, just a brief moment, it distracts me from the pain.

The next thing I know, the world shifts around us as he winnows. The familiar sensation of weightlessness washes over me, and I squeeze my eyes shut against the sudden rush of air. When I open them again, we’re in his bedroom—no, his ensuite. It’s massive, opulent, and the smell of him lingers even stronger here. Everything, from the polished stone to the elegant fixtures, screams Rhysand. And all I can do is breathe him in.

He gently sets me down on the toilet, his touch lingering for just a moment before he moves toward the large, clawfoot bathtub. I can hear the water rushing, the soft hum of the pipes filling the space. He tests the temperature carefully, his brow furrowed in concentration. Even in my dazed state, I can’t help but watch him. He’s so beautiful, even like this, even with worry etched into every line of his face.

I let out a shaky breath, the pain ebbing and flowing like a tide, and I can’t help the thoughts that begin to swirl in my mind. He cares. He really cares. The realisation crashes into me like a wave. He could have sent someone else to help. He could have stayed distant, detached, like he usually is. But he didn’t. He came for me. He’s here, and he’s doing this for me.

I don’t realise I’m letting those thoughts slip through, letting him hear them. I don’t realise it until I feel him pause, his back still turned to me as he stands at the tub, his hands hovering over the water. For a moment, the only sound is the steady rush of water filling the bath. But then, I feel him. His mind brushes against mine again, gentle, but more intimate now, more knowing.

Of course I care. His voice in my thoughts is so soft, so tender, it sends a shiver through me. I’ve always cared.

My heart stutters in my chest, a fresh wave of heat flushing through my body, and I barely have the strength to register it. I didn’t mean for him to hear that. But I’m too tired, too broken to put up any walls. The pain is still sharp, but now… now it’s mingled with something else, something that feels like hope.

He turns around, his violet eyes meeting mine, and there’s something different in his gaze now. Something softer. He crosses the room with slow, measured steps, kneeling in front of me again, his hands gently cupping my knees. His touch is light, almost hesitant, but there’s a warmth to it that makes my chest tighten.

"Sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice low, a note of affection I’ve never heard from him before. "You’re going to be okay. I’m going to take care of you."

I don’t know why, but when he says sweetheart, it’s like something inside me melts. Despite the pain, despite the agony still tearing through me, I feel a tiny flicker of something warm, something safe. I want to protest, to tell him he doesn’t have to, that I can handle it on my own. But I can’t. I’m too tired, too weak. All I can do is nod, my breath hitching in my throat as he rises to his feet again, moving back toward the bath.

The water has reached the perfect height, steam curling up into the air, and Rhysand shuts off the faucet with a quick flick of his wrist. He watches the water for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, before turning back to me. His expression is so gentle, so filled with concern, that it nearly brings me to tears.

Rhysand kneels beside me, his violet eyes soft yet steady, his brow furrowed in concern as he gently asks, “Are you okay with me helping you out of these?” His gaze flickers down to my blood-soaked clothes, and the weight of the question settles in the air between us. His voice is calm, but there’s something tender in it, something that almost undoes me. The way he says it—so careful, so respectful, as if I have the strength to refuse.

I give a small, barely-there nod, my body too weak to speak, and without hesitation, his hands move with an almost reverent gentleness. He never looks at me too long, his gaze never lingers anywhere intimate. Instead, his focus remains on my face, watching for any sign of discomfort. His fingers work swiftly, unbuttoning my ruined clothes, his touch featherlight as he peels the blood-stained fabric away from my aching body.

Even though my skin feels raw and every movement sends a fresh wave of pain through me, I feel… safe. Safe in his hands, in the way he handles me as if I’m something precious, something fragile. As he helps me stand, guiding me toward the tub, I lean heavily on him, my legs trembling beneath me. Each step is agony, but with him beside me, his arms steady around my waist, I make it.

He guides me to the edge of the bathtub, his hands still on me, firm but gentle, before he helps me lift one foot, then the other, into the steaming water. The heat wraps around me instantly, dulling the sharpest edges of the pain, and I let out a soft, broken sigh of relief as I sink deeper into the warmth. Rhysand’s hands never leave me, steadying me as I lower myself fully into the bath, the water rising around me in soft waves, soaking my bruised, aching skin.

For the first time, the relentless ache eases, if only just a little. The hot water cocoons me, and I let my eyes flutter shut, my body finally releasing a small fraction of the tension it’s been holding. I let my eyes close again, sinking deeper into the water, my body heavy but finally able to rest, even if just for a moment. And then, I feel it—a soft, warm press of lips against my forehead. My heart flutters, and before I can stop myself, a quiet whimper of need escapes me.

“Stay here, love,” he murmurs, his lips brushing my skin as he pulls back. “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as he slips away, I feel the absence of him acutely. The pain returns in full force, but it’s more than just the physical ache. My mind drifts to Rhysand, to the way he looks at me, the way he’s always cared for me. I’ve known for a long time now that my feelings for him are far deeper than they should be. It started with admiration, respect for the way he leads our people, but it grew into something else. Something I’ve never allowed myself to fully admit.

Azriel knows, of course. He’s always been able to read me better than anyone else. But I’ve kept it hidden from Rhys. Buried it deep under layers of friendship and duty because the thought of losing him if he didn’t feel the same—it’s unbearable. And yet, now, with him here, caring for me like this, it’s impossible to ignore.

What feels like mere moments later—the soft warmth of the water wrapping around me like a gentle hug—I hear the bathroom door creak open. My eyes flutter open, and there stands Rhysand, a vision of calm amidst my chaos. In his hands, he carries fresh clothes, the fabric crisp and inviting. My heart lifts at the sight of him, the concern etched on his face only deepening my feelings for him.

He kneels beside the tub, his eyes never lingering anywhere too intimate, always respecting my boundaries. “Let’s get you out of there, love,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing. With practiced gentleness, he helps me rise from the water, his hands warm against my skin. As he steadies me, I feel a rush of gratitude for his care, for the way he makes me feel safe.

Once I’m on my feet, he moves with fluidity, quickly drying my body with a soft towel. I can feel the warmth of his breath against my skin as he helps me step into a fresh pair of panties. I glance down to see a period linen already tucked inside, a thoughtful detail that makes my heart swell. He continues to guide me into an oversized shirt, one that I instantly recognise as his. It drapes over me, soft and comforting, filling me with warmth and an inexplicable sense of belonging.

“Let’s get you comfy,” he says, scooping me up once more, his arms strong and reassuring around me. I nestle into his chest, breathing in the scent of him—night air, cedar, and something uniquely Rhysand. He carries me effortlessly into his room, laying me down gently on his bed. The moment I sink into the sheets, I’m enveloped by his scent; it’s like being wrapped in a warm embrace, familiar and perfect.

The duvet is plush, enveloping me like a cloud, and I can’t help but smile as Rhys fusses around me. He adjusts the blankets, ensuring I’m tucked in snugly, his brow furrowed in concentration. “How’s that?” he asks, his voice tender, eyes searching mine for reassurance.

“It’s perfect,” I reply, a soft smile spreading across my lips.

He then hands me a small vial filled with a shimmering liquid. “Madja concocted this to help with your pain,” he explains, his eyes locked onto mine, waiting for me to take it. I can feel the warmth of his presence like a protective shield, and I lift the vial to my lips, drinking it down as he watches intently.

“Good,” he murmurs, his tone filled with encouragement. He doesn’t move an inch until I’ve finished every last drop, his gaze unwavering, filled with a mix of concern and affection.

As I set the empty vial down on the bedside table, a wave of fatigue washes over me. Rhys shifts, preparing to leave and let me rest. But before he can, I reach out, grabbing his arm. “Stay,” I whisper, the plea escaping my lips before I can think twice.

He pauses, surprise flashing across his features, but then a soft smile breaks through. “Of course, love,” he replies, warmth flooding my chest at his willingness to remain by my side. With a snap of his fingers, he’s clad in nothing but a pair of black boxers that seem to shimmer like the night sky, the stars sparkling across the fabric.

I can’t help but let out a surprised giggle, the sound light and airy, breaking the tension in the room. Rhysand looks at me with an amused grin, his deep laughter filling the space. “What’s so funny?” he teases, his eyes dancing with mischief.

“You look ridiculous,” I reply playfully, a smile still tugging at my lips.

He laughs, a rich sound that makes my heart flutter. “I’d say it’s better than being overdressed,” he quips back, sliding into bed beside me.

As he settles in beside me, the warmth radiating from his body feels like a balm against the lingering pain. The air thickens with an unspoken connection, something that has always simmered just beneath the surface of our friendship. It’s as if the mate bond is finally clicking into place, binding us together in a way that feels both exhilarating and terrifying. Yet neither of us acknowledges it, choosing instead to revel in the comfort of each other’s presence, knowing we’ve always been this close.

I can feel his heartbeat against my back, a steady rhythm that lulls me into a sense of safety. Rhysand shifts, his fingers brushing against my arm, sending gentle shivers down my spine. It’s a simple gesture, but it ignites something deep within me, a longing that has been hidden for too long.

“Are you feeling any better?” he asks softly, his voice low and soothing. I nod, trying to find my words, but the moment feels too perfect for anything but silence as I turn my head to see him. He studies me, those fathomless eyes searching mine for the truth.

And then he leans in, his breath warm against my lips. My heart races as he closes the distance, kissing me softly, sweetly. It’s a tender press of warmth and promise, a moment that makes the world around us fade away. His lips are soft, coaxing me into a blissful calm, and I respond instinctively, leaning into him, deepening the kiss.

When he pulls back, our eyes lock, and I see something flicker in his gaze—something that hints at all the words unspoken between us. “Get some rest,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid to break the magic of the moment.

He tucks me against him, his body a perfect shield from the world. With each gentle stroke of his fingers through my hair, I can feel the tension and pain easing away. It’s as if he’s weaving a spell of comfort, one that wraps around me like a warm cocoon.

My eyelids grow heavy, and I let out a contented sigh, surrendering to the warmth and security of his embrace. “You’re safe, sweetheart,” he whispers, and those words resonate within me, echoing through my very soul.

Slowly, I feel myself drifting, the edges of my consciousness softening. Rhysand continues to stroke my hair, his touch a lullaby that pulls me deeper into sleep. I let out a soft hum, my body relaxing completely against him.

As I slip into a dreamless slumber, I can’t help but think that this moment—his presence, the warmth of his body against mine—is where I belong. And for the first time in a long while, I feel truly at peace.

ACOTAR Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 12th Oct 2024

TAGS:

@lilah-asteria @maleficmuse @fanficscuziranout

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

Love Storm Excerpt: PayuRain's First Time Together

** Rain is sometimes referred to by his Thai name, 'Warren'.

(Ch 12: Officially Consorted)

While it’s showering heavily outside, inside the bathroom is no different. The sound of water splashes on the ceramic floor echoes in the room, and the warmth fogs up the surfaces of mirror and glass panes. However, it’s not the heat from the water that turns Rain’s pale skin red, but his skin changes color because there’s someone holding him from behind.

“Payu, please let me take a shower myself.”

“Oh, so now you can say ‘please’?”

“Eh? Get your hands off!”

Warren struggles, extremely embarrassed when the tall man whispers in his ear while repeatedly attacking his soft spot. Moreover, Payu keeps rubbing his skin all over Rain’s body, not even caring to ask if he needs any help showering.

What a tyrant!

Rain looks back on the moment when he was dragged into the house. He was confused at first, and then he got alarmed when the tall man dragged him into a bedroom. Without telling him anything, Payu pulled Rain’s shirt off and threw it some random direction, then the tall man moved on to pulling off the boy’s pants and threw them on the floor in another direction. Finally, Rain’s body was left with the last piece of clothing on him, which he desperately fought to keep.

And what did Payu do to stop the man’s prolonged struggle?

He hung me over his shoulder. He didn’t slap my butt this time, but he pulled my goddamn undies off!

And, finally, they’re here. Taking a shower together.

“How will I help you bathe if I keep my hands off?”

“I can do it myself! Now just leave me alone already.” Rain can’t figure out how sharing his good news ended up in getting himself forced into the shower bare naked like this.

“I’m all soaked with rain. If I don’t take a shower soon, I might get sick,” Payu says with a poker face.

“All right, then. After you. I can wait.” Rain, needing something to cover his body right away, says in a shaky voice. He gets ready to sprint out of the shower, but Payu acts faster. The tall man grabs hold of his arm and pours more water on his head. Rain quickly shuts his eyes.

“No, it’s you who can’t wait any longer. Who told you to stay in the pouring rain like that? I don’t care for how long that has been, but you’re all soaked. You need to wash,” Payu replies. Rain doesn’t get why the taller one is coming to worry about him just now. He should have known that bad weather can’t do any harm to a tough and sturdy architecture student like himself.

“I just wanted to tell you as soon as possible.”

“And I just want to do you right here.”

“What?” Rain begs a pardon. He is about to open his eyes to make eye-contact, but Payu is also rubbing shampoo on his head.

“*cough* Payu, I got water in my mouth!”

“Hold still then,” Payu scorns.

Rain wants to reply that it wouldn’t have been a problem at all if Payu just let him bathe on his own. But Rain knows better; he has learned so well that it’s useless to struggle against this tall man. At worst, he might as well reveal his little dragon by accident. So even though he feels like he’s dying of heatstroke or his heart is beating out of his chest, it’s better to keep his hands on his crotch and let Payu do what he wants.

Rain has never gotten himself exposed in his birthday suit like this before in his life, even when he went to ROTC camps. But tonight…

He sneaks a glance of a blurry reflection in the fogged up mirror.

Rain is always aware of how gorgeous Payu is, but this is the first time he sees the man naked.

The younger one can’t figure out how the taller one managed to go to the gym, but that chest with those muscles, and a six-pack abdomen, and that lean waist leading to… well, you know. Rain nearly has a heart attack just looking at Payu’s upper body; he’s sure he’ll be dead if he looks further down below Payu’s waistline.

Damn, he has such a body!

All of those thoughts combined to that well-proportioned face and his hair let loose… Such a heartthrob!

Don’t flick your hair and smirk. You could kill me with that.

“Hmmm.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

If the younger one didn’t have to use his hands to cover his little snake down there, he would have used them to cover his face instead due to shame. Rain can’t help comparing himself with the other man in the room. While he’s looking somewhat mediocre, short, and skinny, Payu is graciously handsome, tall, and in shape. Rain feels ashamed to go all naked like the one bathing him now.

Other than that? Spasms all over his body.

“Keep your head down and eyes closed,” the tall one says. Rain doesn’t disobey. He will do anything if it helps get him out of here sooner.

When he does what Payu tells him to, he feels a stream of warm water in the middle of his head followed by a gentle rub by a big hand. Rain thinks of that robust mechanic he usually sees at the garage and wonders how one can drastically change his personality. Then, Rain stiffens up; every time Payu makes a move, their bodies make contact. Like now, Payu’s elbows are touching his shoulders, but his back also feels warmer. Rain is curious what it is he’s attached to.

He doesn’t know, and yet doesn’t dare turn around to check.

*Whoosh*

“*gasp* W-what are you doing?!”

“Just hold still. How can I give you a bath if I can’t touch you at all?” Payu replies.

Rain opens his mouth, wanting to argue, but then he changes his mind when Payu starts rubbing soap on his skin.

Who starts rubbing soap on the chest first?! Anyone?!

Rain grits his teeth, trying not to scream. His face reddens when his chest is being rubbed, and now it’s a sea of soap foam. His abdomen stiffens every time Payu rubs past his nipples. Rain begins breathing heavily, his body warms up, and his snake is about to wake from its slumber.

“E-enough! Stop it, please, Payu. Let me take a shower by myself.” Rain desperately grabs hold of the other man’s hand.

“Why?”

Gah! Don’t get too close to my ear!

Rain turns his face away as he mentally complains. Payu was too close to his ear when he whispered, and Payu’s nasal tip was stroking past his ear base and making him blush. And Payu’s chest that is pressed against Rain’s back…

“Payu, I’m serious. This is not funny. Stop goofing around.”

Rain feels like his brain has stopped working. His heart is still racing and his body heats up. He can barely talk without stuttering.

“I’m not goofing around.” Payu nibbles on the younger one’s ear as if to tease. “Rain.”

Oh shit, I can’t hold it anymore!

The younger one suddenly covers his ears with both hands and shakes his head vigorously when Payu calls his name softly. Rain shivers, feeling unsure if it’s just his imagination, or does it sound rough and raunchy, as if the tall man is pleading with him?

A man like Payu is pleading with me?

“Step back,” Rain says, turning around and looking at the tall man. He wants to get out of the bathing session, but his blushing cheeks, tearful eyes, and trembling lips are working like magnets that attract and draw in the lips of the tall man who’s been desperately tolerant for quite a while. Payu kisses Rain on his rosy lips with extreme lust.

A passionate kiss that comes unexpectedly, and makes Rain go wide-eyed.

“P-umph!”

A big hand grasps him by the chin and forces his face to align to Payu’s. Rain opens his mouth to say something, but that turns out to give the tall man a chance to suck on his lower lip. Spasms spring all over Rain’s skinny body as he feels a hot tongue invade his space behind the lips he tries to hold shut.

The kissing gets more and more passionate, and Rain is stupefied.

The hands that were pushing the tall man away change their action to hold on the tall man’s shoulders. The tongue that was protesting is now obeying, though with half willingness. The mouth that was trying to move away is now accepting the fiery kiss.

*Smooch* *smooch*

By now, the only noise Rain hears is the sound of their kissing that echoes in this bathroom. It’s zealous, driving him mad and destroying his tolerance. But Payu won’t suffocate the young one; he knows the process. He keeps kissing for a moment, lets the boy breathe, and then he goes back to kissing again and again until Rain shivers and presses his body against Payu’s chest.

My body is weakening, but my pen is awakening.

“E-enough,” Rain says, and pushes Payu with all the strength he has left, and the tall man eventually retreats.

“It’s all your fault. It’s you!”

“What’s wrong?” asks Payu while Rain sinks his face into his palms as soon as his face is free. Payu gets nervous, then stunned when his eyes follow where Rain is looking.

Down below, he sees the awakening little dragon.

It’s your fault!” Rain yells over his embarrassment, but it’s too late for him to cover that part. His dragon is finally awake.

The sight makes Payu freeze for a minute…

Swoosh!

“Payu! Let go of me! No! You’ll drop me! Payu!!”

But Payu won’t listen to the little man’s shout of despair. He turns off the shower and scoops up the younger one, lifting him in both arms and walking straight into the bedroom. He lays the boy on the soft mattress and crawls over his body almost simultaneously. Rain looks away and curls up as he’s feeling extremely ashamed, putting his hands over his eyes but leaving a gap between his index finger and middle finger so he can sneak a peek.

And it’s a peek that makes Rian find it hard to swallow around the lump in his throat.

Rain has never seen his expression on Payu’s face before.

He looks madly wild, his eyes ablaze, his jaw clenched so hard that Rain can see the lines of its frame. His hair that was usually tied up at the back of his head is now down, framing his face, but that doesn’t add any sweetness to his look at all. Instead, it makes him look even hotter, more manly, and more aggressive. Like a predator ready to hunt down and crush his prey.

“P-Payu,” Rain calls his name under a shaky breath.

*whoosh*

“!!!”

Payu puts one of Rain’s hands on his heating up part which is craving for the same thing.

“I know you want it. So do I,” he speaks in a rough voice.

Warren’s eyes widen. He tries to retract his hand, but the tall man won’t let him.

“I-I didn’t come to you for this. I-I just… I just wanna let you know about the professor giving me compliments. I just wanted you to be the first to know-” Rain tries to explain, but then chills go down his spine when he meets Payu’s hawkish gaze.

“Because you’re so goddamn adorable like this, I want to devour you.”

Rain eventually pulls his hands off his face.

Is he going wild because of… me?

“Don’t stop me.”

Rain flinches as his cheek is stroked by Payu’s nasal tip.

“I won’t hold back anymore, dummy.” Payu kisses Rain hard on his pale cheek and traces back to his lips.

“P-umph,” Rain is cut off by the kiss that seems to be continued from the bathroom. It’s hard, passionate, and extremely sensual, especially to the one who is a newbie to this loving activity. Rain’s guard is gradually going down. He himself isn’t aware that he has stopped pushing at Payu’s chest and even wrapped his arms around the tall man’s neck, letting their bodies press against one another.

Rain isn’t sure of himself by now; he doesn’t protest, and he doesn’t want their kissing to end.

The two weeks of absence makes him realize that he’s been missing Payu like crazy, and the touch they’re having now is speaking for him. And for now, he doesn’t want to think of anything else.

“Ahh.”

Rain moans softly, looking at the ceiling as Payu is busy exploring his neck. Then he flinches when he feels a warm tongue sweeping over his chin and continuing its way down past his Adam’s apple and onto his collar bone. Both hands of the tall man keep touching and pressing all over his wet body. Seemingly the room owner doesn’t care if the bed is wet as well. Payu keeps blowing kisses on Rain’s shoulders and sometimes bites his delicate skin as if to tease.

The foreplay turns Rain’s pale skin pink. Sweat starts dampening his skin, his breath becomes warmer, and his legs are moving in random directions.

“Umph. N-no. Don’t.”

Payu places his mouth over Rain’s pink raisin and makes a straight sweep with his tongue over it. Rain shivers into the spasm and ruffles Payu’s hair by instinct to deal with it. Tears build up in the younger one’s eyes when the waves of desire are hitting his shore and bedazzling him.

The tall man keeps blowing kisses from Rain’s upper body to abdomen, and the part lower than the beltline. Both of his hands are busy massaging Rain’s chest and Rain shakes his head as his feelings burst. He moans irresistibly, and then flinches hard. His eyes widen and his body is pinned in place when Payu licks on his cocked-up pistol.

“No, Payu… Don’t- Mmmmm- no. Don’t. I can’t handle it.”

But Payu won’t stop; he’s craving for more of Rain’s moans. So he keeps on licking that tendon until it gets all damp, and the young man under him squirms and clutches the sheets with both hands.

And it’s at that moment that Payu widens the boy’s legs.

“Payu?!”

“Ssh. It’s okay,” Payu shushes the boy. Seeing Rain alarmed and flushed, Payu is urged to tease the younger one and make him even weaker. However, he knows that this is the first time for Rain. Not only does that mean this is Rian’s first time to have sex with a man, but it also feels certain to Payu that Rain has never kissed before as well.

Payu crawls up, holding the younger one in his arms as he removes all gaps between their bodies, then slowly thrusts his hips.

“Good?”

“Mmmm. Umph,” Rain answers under a heavy breath. He’s shivering when their heated parts are rubbing against each other. Then, he notices Payu reaching for something in a nightstand drawer.

*Whoosh*

“N-no… Payu! Please, no!” startled, Rain struggles back, but he can’t because he’s locked in tight by Payu’s arm. The tall man holds him firmly at the hips and keeps their midbody tendons attached. At the same time, he grabs Rain’s buttcheek tightly with the other hand, sliding his finger over Rain’s hind straight, then calmly sending it into the cave.

“Umph!” Rain wails and shakes his head.

“It’s okay. Hold on to me.”

Rain follows Payu’s advice. He locks his arms tightly around Payu’s neck, letting him send the finger in and out of Rain’s back door repeatedly. His body stiffens and he breathes heavily while Payu stays calm. Payu doesn’t rush the process. He keeps going easy on the boy and keeps feeding him passionate kisses as he tries to find the right spot with his finger. Finally, Rain shrieks and trembles and thrusts his hips towards him.

From one, to two, to three fingers- he wants the younger man to get used to it bit by bit.

“P-Payu.”

Payu has already drawn his fingers back out. Rain lies flat on the bed, feeling drained. The younger one opens his eyes and calls the tall man’s name. His voice is shaking, but it sounds sweet as hell to the one being called.

When Rain’s eyes are half-closed, he gets a glimpse of Payu tearing a sachet of a condom with his teeth and pulling his hair back roughly. Rain feels a spasm in his tummy and goosebumps all over. He can’t keep his eyes open to the extremely handsome vision that could give him a heart attack, and Payu just won’t waste the time.

The tall man’s body lies on Rain’s body again, and this time he’s not giving foreplay, but the real invasion which makes Rain go wide-eyed.

“Ah… Hurts! It hurts! *sob*”

Rain cries and breathes heavily, scratching wildly on Payu’s back. The tall man, however, remains calm and keeps the boy in his embrace. Payu kisses Rain on his blood red lips and holds the position so Rain’s body could adjust. Then, he makes a movement again, very slowly, while keeping his eyes on the delicate boy who flinches every time he pushes his hot tendon into the soft tunnel.

“Payu, kiss-”

Rain sobs as he begs, and Payu fulfills his need. The sound of kissing fills the room while Payu keeps his hands occupied on Rain’s damp skin. And then he gradually intensifies the movements.

*gasp!*

Payu waits until Rain’s painful groans change into a pleasant moan before he thrusts his crotch incessantly. The sound of their flesh hitting one another resonates in the bedroom in harmony with their labored breathing.

“Payu- umph- ahhh…”

“Good boy.”

As well as the temperature of the room, their lust is also rising. The legs of the bed are making a rhythmic noise against the floor.

*swoosh*

“Ah! Payu!”

Suddenly, the tall man lifts the boy up and makes him sit on his lap, pressing another kiss onto the boy’s lips and forcing his hips to move in sync with the sensual tempo. Rain can only keep his legs wide open, sink his face in Payu’s neck, and moan for his life.

Up to this moment, Rain is almost choking on the overwhelming happiness that Payu showers him with.

“Rain.”

Rain looks at the man who’s calling his name with teary eyes.

“I’m your husband now,” Payu whispers in a rough voice. Rain locks his arms around the tall man’s neck.

“Repeat it.”

“What?!”

Then, out of the blue, Payu stops moving. Rain, who is only one step closer to heaven, cries in disbelief and gets an evil grin as a response. That sweaty face, those eagle eyes, and the wet strands of hair framing those cheeks are making a very sexy combination for his partner. However, Rain doesn’t have time to think of anything because someone is about to back off and away from his body.

“Payu, don't stop now. Don’t.”

“Let me hear what I wanna hear first.”

“No… Payu, stop messing with me. I’m almost there.”

“I’ll quit now if you don’t say it.”

“*sniffle* Damn you!” Rain scowls and punches Payu hard at the shoulder. He’s dying to cum, tears brimming in his eyes, and he looks at the tall man with a pleading glare. Still, Payu repeats his demand.

“Say it. ‘Rain belongs to Payu now’.”

“N-”

The tall man grasps Rain’s member so hard that he squirms with desire.

“I-*sniffle*- I belong to you now. *sob* Please, Payu. Don’t do this to me. I can’t. I’m about to get there already.”

Rain sinks his face into Payu’s shoulder, begging.

*smooch*

“Good boy,” says the tall man once he gets what he wants, and he rewards Rain with a big kiss on the cheek.

Then he makes Rain lie flat on the bed again and looks into those sweet almond eyes. He lifts up Rain’s hips with both hands and heavily thrusts his crotch. Finally, both of them are free from all refrains. The two moan loudly as they bump into one another.

“Rain, you’re mine now.”

Payu repeats his statement.

And the whole time, Rain keeps calling the tall man’s name as he holds tight to the one he trusts.

Perhaps Rain himself isn’t going with the flow, but his heart itself has gone to this handsome man.

---

---

*Buzzz!*

In a bedroom that looks as disordered as a post-warfare battlefield, someone who has just gone through a love wrestling a few hours ago slowly opens his eyes. There’s an irritating sound of something vibrating under the pile of clothes beside the bed. He squints, trying to withstand the light. He doesn’t remember where he is at first, until he makes a move.

“Ow!”

Rain exclaims, grabbing his hips when a pang runs all over his body.

He lies on the bed for another while before he realizes what happened to his back door.

Yeah, he finally got me.

Rain sinks his face into his palms and screams silently. He kicks the mattress multiple times to relieve his embarrassment, and then has to stop due to the ache shooting up all over. The vision of the most recent event appears in his mind again. He recalls the happenings in the bathroom and on the bed after that, then Payu took him back into the shower again, and then they ended up doing it on the bed again one more time.

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he has to. He let it happen.

If it’s something he’s not willing to do, he wouldn’t have ended up doing it in bed with Payu again.

[mysicklove-main]

Uzui Tengen is known for his dramatics. You knew that when you first decided to marry him, and have grown used to it with the years. His flashy appearance and bold words don't even phase you now. That's just who he is and who you came to love.

Until he gets sick. The dramatics pick up to a whole level you've never thought could occur. Of course if other people saw him that we're not you, or his other wives, he would pretend to be fine, grinning and showing off. But he would never let his lovers off the hook like that, it would be not flashy at all.

“I think it's time I say my final goodbye.”

You roll your eyes, placing a damp towel on his forehead. He coughs, and honestly you can't tell if it's fake or not, but you hold out a cup for him to drink a water out of. When he doesn't move, you sigh and press it to his lips, watching with amusement at the way he gulps it down. “Your fever is bound to break soon, maybe if you stopped complaining and rest, you'll feel better.”

He glances at you when you pull the cup away, a small pout on his face. “Hurts so bad, I must be dying. I feel so weak," His voice is horse, and his body is unusually warm.

You can't help but want to dote on him at his words. He's got to be acting just a bit, but he truly does sound broken. But before you could comfort him he says, “Is this how you feel like all the time? This weak?”

You sigh, pinching your brows, but you can't help the smile that creeps on your face. He's so ridiculous, but at least he keeps you on your toes. In his sickly state or not. “Really?”

“Just joking. I know you aren't this weak.” You can see it in his eyes that he wants to boast about his strength again, but your watchful eyes shut it down. You adore how powerful your husband is, but you weren't Suma who fangirls every time he spoke about himself (Of course you did love that side of Suma as well, it was cute seeing her so excited).

You roll your eyes again but smile at him, and adjust the bedsheets, pulling them higher up on his chest. He let's out a throaty complaint, but doesn't fight it. “Hey, where are the others? Can't bare to see me this pathetic?”

“No, “god” of the dramatics.” He frowns at the mock nickname. “You scared the daylights out of Suma, who actually thinks you're going to die. Hinatsura is comforting her outside. And you know Makio, she isn't the one to be near when someone is sick.”

He hums, closing his eyes for the first time in the past hour with a content smile on his face. “So I get you all to myself, huh?”

You grin, puffing up his pillow again before sitting in the chair next to him. “Guess you can say that. Until your fever breaks at least.”

“Nurse Y/N,” He sighs, breathlessly with a grin on his face. His eyes are still shut and by the looks of it he is imagining something lewd.

You shut it down immediately. “No. I'm not a nurse. I'm an assassin.”

He ignores your words. “Why arent you wearing the cute outfit. I'm sickly, please treat me nurse!”

“I'm leaving,” You deadpan, but before you can stand up a hand flies to your wrist. He tilts his head toward you with a small apologetic smile. His cheeks are flushed from the fever and his neck is slightly beaded with sweat.

“Sorry. I'm done, I'm done, promise. Just stay with me? Honestly, I am a little scared about how week I feel." The tone of his voice is solemn, and his hands slightly tremble on your wrist. You grab onto it and set it back down on the bed, and grab the cloth to dab the beads of sweat on his neck.

It's been ages since he has gotten sick. The last time probably in his early teens, so you aren't too surprised he is uncomfortable, but it was surprising for him to admit something like this. “Scared” is not in his vocabulary, or at least he preaches.

So you take pity on him, and smile at him. “Of course, Lord Tengen. Close your eyes and rest, I'll be here when you wake up, promise.”

He glances at you for a final time, and closes his eyes. “Thanks, Nurse Y/N.”

You shake your head slowly, and take in his appearance. Even in his sweaty, weak state he wears his signature smug grin that you've grown to love. You can't be too mad at him.

[seaf00d-hater]

It was horrid being in that clan. Having all your things stolen and taken from you all the time. Food, water, shelter, toys, even your own life. even if it wasn't necessary it would be taken in a heartbeat if you weren't strong enough. when the clan invaded, aryas home was stolen and destroyed, her grandmother and father perished leaving arya and her mother to be next. The head of the clan wanted her mom giving her the choice of killing arya and taking her or taking the both of them if she was willing to follow them which is what she chose.

Soon the head married aryas mother and made her bare Child after child after child all dying of hunger or neglect. Arya tried her damndest to feed them to help them but she was just as helpless. As arya grew older she stopped growing and her siblings just kept dying. the second of starvation, the third of sickness, the fourth killed, the fith and sixth starvation, and I couldn't even see the birth of the seventh when they ousted her from the clan.

Aryas mom was too weak and heavily pregnant to fight for her. She was beaten and left behind to die but somehow it felt numb to her. She was able to walk but her throat couldn't make sound, she was still alive so she started to learn how to survive in the wild. Knowing her mom was still in there in that clan, suffering, she could not just leave her behind so she followed the clan from a distance. It was hard to live, it was hard to learn how to survive in the wild in darkwood, in anura, in anchordeep, and especially in silkcradle. But in time she learned how to heal myself, how to harvest, how to use traps to my advantage and most importantly how to fight and hide, learning to burn her own arms in order to keep the growing wool to a minimum.

And as the years went by the body's left by the clan kept coming, and she knew some of them were her brothers and sisters. The eight of starvation, the ninth of sickness, the tenth murder, the eleventh and twelfth of starvation, it was happening all over again but this time arya couldn't even sing them to sleep.

And finally the body that produced all her siblings came. Her nightmare came to be. Her poor mother being to weak to birth the thirteenth was dying and was left behind. She was relieved To see me for the last time and told arya of her last wish. “Eat me. Gain strength to survive. You must survive. And if you can, you must avenge me. For what they did to you, to all your brothers and sisters and for what they did to their own kind. Eat me”

So she did. She ate her alive and continued when she died. She did not eat her womb. Arya buried it just like the other siblings I had when they all died. This was a nightmare, and the only way to wake up from it was to kill it. To kill them all.

~~~~~

Soooo this is the back story of arya :) I also did finally manage to design narinder and all the bishops with aym and baal so you'll be seeing more art from me!

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT AGAIN IM NEW HERE IM LEARNING SO IF SOMETHING IS AMISS PLEASE TELL ME I WILL TRY TO CORRECT MY ACTIONS

Also more context: the clan is actually a pillaging clan made of sheep that do raides on any other town or village that aren't them and believe the whole the strongest will survive which both arya and her mom suffered from the most arya in the first image being 7 years old and in the last around 15 to 16 years old

FUCK I FORGOT TO @teruuu sorry bbg

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Don't make me beg

February Filth Fest : Day Nine

Song Mingi x fem reader

a/n: *taste by danceracha intensifies* (i know the lyrics are "don't make me bad" but like cmon- it's don't make me beg)

"I'm addicted to you, Momma."

✫彡wordcount: 1.5k

(>ᴗ•)genre:

smut w/o plot

ಠ_ಠwarning/contents:

not edited, oral fixation, zero build up, baby boy mingi cause i just cannot help it, bed humping, overstim, hand holding, very light degradation, big dumb mingi(❤️‍🩹), light nipple play, pet names(baby,honey, baby boy & momma, love), lots of references to Taste

tags: @cherryxsang @k-drizzle

SMUT UNDER CUT MDNI

"Baby," you cry out, slapping at his arms which keep your writhing hips in place for him. "Mingi, you have to breathe, Honey! Give us a break, good god!"

You feel him mumble something against your sensitive clit, grabbing his hoodies sleeve and tugging on it as he begins laving his flat tongue over it. "Mingi!" You whine, cunt clenching around nothing as he pushes you towards your second orgasm of the night with nothing but his mouth. "Baby, you have to slow down!"

"Don't wanna stop," he can barely speak up as he keeps his lips on you. "Want you to feel my love."

"I feel it, fucks sake!" You laugh, hand raking though his hair and locking eyes with him as he devours your pussy. "I feel it... I feel i-fuck... wow." The look on his face as his eyes flutter shut has you falling in love all over again. He looks so content. So happy with his face stuffed between your thighs. "Baby, I c- I'm gonna cum."

When your words register in his mushy brain, he reaches up one of his hands up from their death grip on your hips and rests it gently between your ribs. You take it up in both of yours, trapping it tightly as he closes his lips around your bud.

He revels on the way you moan for him as he sucks, opening his eyes to watch as he pushes you over the edge. To watch the face he's become addicted to. The one you make when he throws you into an ecstasy only he can give you.

Your brows screwed up, mouth parted by a whimper of his name, chest rising and falling as waves of pleasure spread through your body. It spurs him on- the way he can feel and taste your release on his tongue.

You have to physically pull him away as your body begins to shake in overstimulation, holding him by his dyed hair as he opens his eyes in confusion as to why he's not tasting you anymore. When he sees your trembling legs, the way you hold his fingers so roughly they loose color, it dawns on him.

"Fuck," he sighs, slowly going to lay his head on your quivering thigh, eyes unable to look away from your soaked pussy. "M'sorry, Momma... can't help myself." He whispers as he licks up the essence of you left on his swollen lips. "Can't help it."

"Starting to think we need a safe word for me," you joke as you pet his head, "c'mere, Baby Boy." You sit up slowly and he scoots up to rest beside you against the headboard.

You grab him the bottle of water from the bedside and open it up for him, giving him a chaste kiss to his forehead before handing it over. "Thank you," he gulps it up greedily, before stopping abruptly. "It's gonna wash you away," he pouts.

"Awe," you coo, "you really love my taste, don't you?"

"Yes," he admits, holding his hand over yours which cradles his flushed face. "I'm addicted to you, Momma."

You narrow the gap between you and capture his lips in a kiss, tasting yourself on him briefly before you pull away and rest your forehead on his. Your breaths collide, sharing oxygen as you both breath deeply. "Drink up, Baby." You tap his cheek gently and turn away to grab your bottle. "Gonna need to stay hydrated if you want to keep this up."

"I can keep going?" He asks, clearly excited as he sits up on his knees and is already moving back down the bed.

"Ah, ah, ah!" You snatch up his hoodie string and stop him in his tracks. "I said drink. Let me have a break, Baby, you made me cum twice in like ten minutes. Did you even realize that?"

He shakes his head and crawls into your hold as you open your arms. He doesn't even realize how needy he's become until his clothed cock meets your wet, warm cunt. He whines as your hands trail under his hoodie and shirt, stripping them off together and setting them down next to you. You lean up and kiss his peck, making him shiver.

You lean back and drink up your water, wrapping your legs around his back with a smirk. "Love, I want to keep going," he pleads, grinding down on you lightly to emphasize his eagerness. "Makes me feel so good when I eat you out... makes me so hard."

"Drink your water," you demand nonchalantly, tossing your empty bottle. "Now, or you won't get anything."He takes it from you the next second, all but chugging it before throwing it to join yours.

He grabs at your ankles behind his back and whines helplessly when you lock them around him. "Momma, please, let me..." You chuckle at him, running you hands up his naked chest, pausing at his nipples to circle them. "Please!"

"So greedy, Honey."

"Please, don't make me beg..."

You hum, pretend to think. "I want... I want you to beg." When he does nothing but look down at you dumbly, you emphasize, "beg for my pussy."

He wails out, "Love, please. I need to feel you on my tongue, I need to taste you, I need it! Please, Momma, please, please, ple-" His voice trails off as his eyes follow your hand to open the beside drawer. You pull out a headband and tug him down by his neck. "Wha..."

You unlock your legs form around him and his body moves before his mind tells it to. "Now that I can see that pretty face, get to work."

He does. He dives in sloppily, licking and kissing your cunt and worshiping you like you are a Goddess. "Thank you, Momma." He leaves a fat kiss to your clit. "Thank you." He licks up with a pointed tongue. "Love it so much." He swirls it around your hole. "Love you so much." His hips grind down on the bed. "Fucking love you." He goes on and on, praising you and your pussy as he eats it up like a man starved, slowly rambling into nonsense.

"Baby," he looks up at the sound of your voice, finding that you have your hands reaches out towards his. He slides them up from your thighs and grabs onto them as he suckles at you. You hold them at either side of your hips, smiling as he squeezes rhythmically. "You're going all dumb, Baby Boy. We can't have that, right?" He shakes his head against you, making you both laugh and moan. "Just look at me, Baby."

He keeps his eyes focused on yours- trying his best to pick up on every little twitch and moan and bite of your lip to keep himself from going crazy. He grinds his hips down on the bed whenever you let out a particularly sweet moan, almost like he's rewarding himself for making you feel good.

When you start to moan out more and more praises to him, he can't help how his eyes shut tightly as his gut tightens, moaning against you: like he's experiencing as much pleasure as you are.

"Mingi, stop," you order. His tongue stills inside you, looking up with doe eyes. "That's enough."

He pulls away with a whine, slowly releasing your hands and crawling up with a pout. "Don't worry, Sweet Boy. There's always more time for that. Right now," you reach between you as he cages you under him. "You're humping the bed like a little whore. You must really love making me feel good, huh? Must love making me cum. So selfless, baby." You slowly rub over his hard bulge, bringing him closer with a leg over his hip. "Let Momma make you feel good? Let me give you a reward?"

He lays down wordless and watches with glazed eyes as you straddle him. You cup his face, leaving a trail of kisses down his chest before you pause at his nipple and leave a kitten lick, laughing at how his hips roll up into you. "So worked up, Honey."

He didn't even notice until you'd taken over, but he's incredibly horny. He was so focused on you, making you feel like a Goddess. He didn't even realize his cock was painfully hard. He was just focused on making you feel like he does when you love on him. He didn't realize how much he loved eating you out. He can't get enough. He wants more. More, and more, until he can't breath. Until he can't remember the taste of anything besides you. That would be his ultimate rewards. "Love... I know what my reward can be."

"What's that, Baby?"

"Sit on my face."

"Jesus, Mingi!"

[heliads]

Hello, glad I can submit this request then, I barely find any Luke Castellan fics he needs more love 😭

Anyways, I just wanted to request something small like headcannons on what it would be like at the aftermath of the Battle of Manhattan if Luke didn't die, what would he be like and how the reader would help him overcome his trauma or problems ? Just pure fluff is what I'm trying to say ;_;

Sorry if that doesn't make any sense... Please let me know if you don't understand me XD

But thank you so much if you write this <3

i see that you have asked for headcanons but i am so delighted by this request that you get a full fic instead (ily)

masterlist

Luke Castellan is not sure what to do with the fact that he did not die. It would have made for a better ending, he thinks. It was the logical conclusion. He tried to make a better world, and when that failed, he could have been terminated along with that last dream. It is what most people would have decided was best.

Yet Luke opens his eyes– his eyes, not someone else’s, not that awful feeling of having his body belong to some being that was not even human, let alone not him– and he is alive. Luke is not sure yet whether this is good or bad. He’s not sure that anything in this world could remotely fit into those categories anymore.

He stares up at a blank ceiling above, which confuses him. Last time he checked, Luke was dying on the ruined floor of the gods’ throne room. There had still been a roof over his head, but Luke swore that he could see a sky of the deepest blue. Luke had felt himself fall into that wondrous lapis void, and then he had felt nothing at all.

That was supposed to be dying. It was more peaceful than most people would say he deserved, given all the hell Luke wreaked on the world by allying with Kronos. Luke’s supposed ending had certainly not been pretty:  a dagger in his hand, stabbed into the one place the immortal waters of the River Styx hadn’t protected him. Achilles’ curse had lifted, and Luke was free of the Titan that had been consuming his body whole.

Yet Luke is staring up at a room that is neither burned nor broken. At first, he wonders if this is what death is like, but he’s heard enough stories of the Underworld to know that it would never be this simplistic. No, this isn’t Death; Luke sits up slowly and manages to fight nausea long enough to realize that he’s back in Camp Half-Blood. Back home, his mind tells him, and Luke has to remind himself that’s not true anymore. He has no home. He has no people, he left them all a very long time ago.

A voice to his side makes Luke whip around.

“I’d sit down if I were you.”

Luke trains his eyes until they slowly, begrudgingly focus on an orange-shirted figure seated next to him. At last, he realizes he recognizes the guy. Will Solace, one of Apollo’s kids. He must have been in charge of bringing Luke back from the dead. 

Luke is baffled by the fact that Will is perched here and not Michael Yew, current head of the Apollo cabin, until it occurs to him that Michael is likely dead. That explains the hollows under Will’s eyes, at least, and the undercurrent of hate that Will only barely keeps at bay. Such strong emotions for a boy who’s usually so cheerful. Luke supposes he only has himself to blame for that.

Will may despise Luke all he wishes, but he’s still a doctor at heart. The blond gestures for Luke to lean back down. “If you rip out your stitches and make my work worthless, I’ll kill you myself.” Will says.

Luke arches a brow. “How do I know you won’t do that anyway?”

“I’m still debating,” Will replies pleasantly.

Someone laughs next to him. “Try to stay civil, Solace. Our time for killing is over.”

A camper takes a seat on Luke’s other side. After a few moments of recollection, his addled head realizes that he knows them. That’s Y/N L/N, they’ve been in the Hermes cabin for the longest time, not one of Luke’s half siblings on the godly side but yet another demigod gone unclaimed for years. They used to complain about that to him. He doubts they would repeat the same sentiments now.

Will groans. “Let me at least try to be intimidating, L/N. I only get to do it so often.”

Y/N cracks a grin, then turns to Luke. “I imagine you must have a lot of questions.”

Luke narrows his eyes at them. “Why aren’t I dead?”

Y/N does a superb job of ignoring Will’s clear sentiment that he’d like an answer to that as well, keeping their gaze firmly trained on Luke. “You tried to stop Kronos in the end. Chiron decided that, seeing as you did all that in an effort to protect unclaimed kids and demigods who were ignored by their godly parents, you deserved a second chance.”

“Does anyone other than Chiron actually believe that?” Luke asks pointedly.

Y/N shrugs. “Depends on what you do when you get out of here.”

Will jumps up. “That’s my cue to check on the rest of my suffering patients. You know, the ones that didn’t try to betray us.”

Y/N watches him go. “Ignore him. He’s–”

Luke cuts her off. “Mad that I tried to kill everyone here? I can’t blame him.”

“So you regret what you did?” Y/N questions slowly.

“I don’t regret trying to do something,” Luke says, “only that the gods weren’t as hurt as the demigods. I didn’t want to hurt us, just them. Olympus could use a good scare.”

Thunder rumbles overhead, loud and overbearing. Luke imagines it’s a warning to him:  he’s treading on thin ice by staying alive, he’d better not press his luck by insulting the gods anymore.

Y/N sighs, evidently thinking the same thing. “You wouldn’t be the only one to want the world to change.”

Luke glances over at them. Obviously, he hasn’t seen Y/N since he switched sides, but he had forgotten that they used to be friends. Good friends, too. It’s nice to have at least that back to normal.

“You haven’t been claimed in the last while, have you?” He asks, changing the subject away from more dangerous waters.

Y/N smiles. “Actually, I have. Percy made the gods swear to start claiming more of their kids. I found out about my parentage a few days ago.”

Luke nods solemnly, but doesn’t ask for further details. He made a point of prioritizing the demigod over their godly parent when he was recruiting for Kronos during the war, and he supposes that habit has stuck. It makes him wonder how many more traits of the enemy he won’t ever be able to shake.

“So when do I get out of here?”

Y/N folds their arms across their chest. “Depends on what you mean by getting out of here. You’ll get a clean bill of health within the next day or two, most likely. You won’t be leaving the camp for months, though, if ever.”

The implications of that don’t have to be spoken aloud. Luke messed up, obviously, and so he’ll be on house arrest until the end of time. If he can prove that he’s worth the effort of saving, maybe they’ll let him live his life, but until then he’ll be monitored around the clock.

It’s more than he expected, at any rate. Part of Luke thought that he’d be handed over to some sort of trial once he healed up, made to face his crimes and be overly punished accordingly. That way, the gods could point to him in the decades and centuries to come as proof of why half-bloods should never reach for more than they deserve.

But no, he’ll be living. That’s certainly something. Luke leans back slowly against his cot and ponders this. “Do I get a personal guard or something?”

Y/N lifts a shoulder. “Kind of. You get me. I’m supposed to follow you around and make sure you don’t try to escape.”

Luke snorts. “How’d you get stuck with that job?”

“I asked for it,” Y/N says coolly.

Luke is taken aback. “Why’d you do that?” He can’t imagine anyone in this camp actively trying to bond with him, let alone someone he knew as well as Y/N. Wouldn’t they hate him for betraying them?

They might be just as surprised about it as he is. “I’m not entirely sure. Guess I thought I was the only one who wouldn’t actively try to kill you in your sleep.”

They’re brutal about it, but it’s kind of nice. Honesty is the only sort of medicine that Luke feels like he can stomach right now. Mollycoddling and sugarcoating just serve to waste time.

He half expects Y/N to back out of it, but no, when Luke is declared medically sound and all but forced out of the hospital wing by swordpoint, they’re waiting for him by the door. Luke staggers out into the bright sunlight and looks around like he’s in a dream. The camp has changed since he last saw it. Cabins have sprung up like wildflowers and more are being constructed by the moment.

Y/N notices him staring and gestures towards the new buildings. “See, that’s your doing, even if no one wants to admit it. A ton of new kids have been claimed. Hermes cabin has never been so empty.”

Bitterness surges through Luke’s throat before he can stop it. “I thought that was Percy’s idea.”

Y/N shakes their head. “Percy only got the idea from you. You can make yourself a villain if you want, but you weren’t entirely heartless. You got my godly parent to claim me, and that’s worth a lot.”

Luke smiles to himself as they go. Y/N leads him to the door of their cabin. It’s still cavernously empty compared to the close quarters Luke remembers in Hermes, and he only notices one bunk with belongings on it.

“You’re the only one here?” He asks.

Y/N nods. “So far, at least. I’ve got you now, though. Just as a warning, I will be claiming cabin counselor privileges and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Luke grins before he realizes it. The expression makes his scar ache, but he finds he doesn’t mind it quite so much as before. “I won’t fight you on that.”

He pulls himself onto the top bunk of one of the many empty rows and surveys his new domain. “Do you think it was worth it? Figuring out who your godly parent was just for them to leave you like this?”

After all, what a life. An empty cabin already collecting dust. It’s cold in here without bodies inside to warm it up. The walls are barren of personal touches. Y/N knows their heritage, yes, and is able to move out of a cabin that was never theirs, but this doesn’t seem like much of a blessing.

Y/N lingers by the foot of Luke’s bunk, and he gestures for them to climb up and join him. They do so in a heartbeat, and then they’re sitting opposite each other, gazes locked and breathing steady.

“It can be lonely,” they admit, “but it’s not so bad. You have hope that it won’t always be this way. Maybe someone will come. Maybe someone already has.”

Luke swallows harshly. “I missed you.”

He blurts it out, hardly aware of what he’s saying. He missed a hell of a lot. Y/N. Laughing at midnight, their whispered words covered up by the sounds of dozens of campers sleeping shoulder to shoulder. Training during the day, the clash of celestial bronze. Orange shirts burning like beacons against their backs. Being able to wear his beaded necklace without feeling like a traitor, even if that’s what he is and always will be.

Y/N leans forward. “I missed you too. I kept hearing about you, which is more than you got of me, but it didn’t feel right. I don’t know where the boy I knew is, if he even exists anymore, but I’d like to try and find him again.”

“I’d like to find him again too,” Luke whispers.

It is the dream of a broken boy bleeding out in the palace of the gods. At this moment, Luke isn’t entirely sure that he didn’t die there in the Olympian throne room. If someone told him that this is what dying is like, conjuring up a vision of what he wishes he could have most of all, Luke would have believed them.

In the end, Luke has no idea if this is real or not. All he can do is keep going, keep waking up each morning to see if he is still in the hazy aftermath of a second chance or finally locked down below in the Underworld. Luke always wanted to try for the Isles of the Blest anyway. Maybe this is just his second life, his second attempt at getting there.

He reaches out on impulse and takes Y/N’s hand. He can feel the blood pumping through their veins, the same certainty as being able to press his fingers against a locked door and know exactly how to break in. This is Luke’s next great trick, but he thinks he’d like to do it right.

“Alright, then,” Luke says at last, “Let’s try again.”

pjo taglist: @w1shes43

[ghoulie-67-baby]

Packmate- Ghost (Part 1).

Summary: A new ghoul is summoned to the Abbey and the ghouls get to meet their new packmate.

Warnings: unconsciousness, nudity, amnesia, angst, mentions of crying and pain.

Pairing: ghoulette!reader x nameless ghouls (possible Copia).

Word count: 1,263.

Rain's POV

Black smoke covered the summoning circle as the flickers of hellfire subsided. I eyed my Packmates, noticing the mixture of nervousness, excitement and intrigue before settling my gaze on Papa, an unreadable expression painted on his face as he studied the dying ashes of the fire. A tense air filled the room as the smoke began to clear. A curled-up body was revealed, shaking in the fetal position despite being unconscious. Once Papa broke the circle, the whole pack stepped closer to the new ghoul, curiosity getting the better of us.

"Papa," Sunshine started, wringing her hands nervously. "Are they okay?" Her voice came out as a whisper, worried she would wake the new arrival.

“Sì, mio caro, they'll be fine. The journey up is generally painful and exhausting." Papa moved to the ghoul's side, covering them with a blanket before all the smoke could clear. "To my knowledge, the journey topside leaves all ghouls unconscious, they barely remember it." We all collectively shuddered at the thought but attention quickly snapped back to the new ghoul as they let out a title, pained whimper and shifted on the Abbey's stone flags. With a raised hand, Papa motioned for us to stay back and Swiss grabbed a handful of my shirt in his excitement. We all watched, shaking with anticipation as Papa knelt before the stirring ghoul.

"Hello there," keeping his voice soft. "Can you open your eyes, little one?" Just as he had asked, bright eyes shot open, widening as they met his mismatched ones. The small body on the floor shivered and sat up slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements. They clutched the blanket around them and eyed all of us warily before lingering on our kneeling papa.

"Where am I?" Their voice was quiet and hoarse like they had been screaming and crying. My stomach clenched painfully when I realised that's probably the exact reason; they came up from hell after all.

"You're at the Ministry, little one, you were summoned by myself." He spoke slowly, so as not to startle them. "Do you remember your name?" Confusion painted their face as they tried to think of it, their face scrunching up in frustration as they shook their head. I bit back a grin as Cirrus cooed at the cuteness and Papa smiled softly.

"The ministry? As in The Clergy? Like the satanic church?" Their voice was careful like they were trying not to offend us.

"The exact one, my dear." Copia's excitement was almost overbearing for the little ghoul but they watched in wonder.

"I was on my way." They spoke matter-of-factly and the group was overtaken by confusion. "I can remember that bit, was on my way here when I died." So they already knew they had died; usually, someone had to explain and that was never pretty.

"I'm sorry. Little one." Copia's eyes clouded with emotion. "I'm sorry you didn't make it but you're here now." Some sort of comfort must have come from those words going off the little smile they gave. It was by far one of the sweetest and most beautiful smiles I had ever witnessed. "My name is Copia, these are my ghouls and ghoulettes." Everyone offered a greeting or a smile as we were introduced and multiple cheeks tinged a pinky-grey within moments.

"I don't know my name." The statement was filled with pain and a bristle of hurt cascaded over the pack. "Will I ever remember?"

"We never remembered ours," Aether's eyes widened as their face fell in sadness. "But that could different for you. It varies." He rushed out.

"And we picked ours based on our elements." Cumulus pitched in. "Mine is a type of cloud formation because my element is air, and Rain because he's a water ghoul and so on."

"So, what's my element thing then?" Her eyes lit up with hope, only to dull with disappointment.

"It's not that simple. It can take time to appear and even then it could be different. Like me, I'm Swiss because I'm a multi-ghoul. Get it? Swiss Army knife, Swiss army ghoul." They let out a little giggle and we all collectively melted a bit.

"And I'm a quintessence ghoul, hence the name Aether." They nodded along and brought their attention back to Papa.

"So we can wait for my name for now?"

"Of course, little one, as long as you're happy with nicknames." His teasing didn't go unnoticed by the new ghoul as they seemed to relax a bit. "Now shall we show you to your new home?" The new ghoul cocked their head for a moment but their eyes soon lit up with excitement. We all froze as they jumped up from the stone floor, trying to avert our eyes in any other direction, even Dewdrop was fighting not to look. Papa gasped softly before panicking and pulling the ghoul towards his chest in a brainless and desperate attempt to cover them up. They let out a squeak of surprise and braced their small hands against his shoulders, eyes wide with shock.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to move so quickly." The quiver in their voice made my chest ache but I brushed it away.

"No, no little one." Copia was hopelessly flustered and I swore I could almost see his blush through the white paint. Swiss and Dew snickered, hitting each other's arms playfully. "It's not that, it's more the fact that you're entirely naked and that blanket was the only thing protecting your dignity."

Our new ghoul, ghoulette possibly, had female anatomy going off the breasts that were pressed firmly against Copia's front in a lame attempt to hide their assets away. A shiver ran through them as they sensed our eyes on their back and tried to cover themselves even more.

"So, you're a woman too huh?" Cirrus grinned toothily at the small ghoul, winking as they peeked over their shoulder at her.

"Yeah, is that not a good thing?" Sunshine giggled at the question, leaving Cumulus to give her an amused look that told her to behave. "Cos most of you are guys, right? There are only you three ladies so I don't want to have messed anything up by being the wrong gender." The new ghoulette rambled for a moment, a panicked tone in her voice.

"No, silly, it's perfectly fine, we just didn't want to call you by the wrong gender and pronouns if that's not how you identify." To others, this might have seemed stupid and trivial but our pack cared about making sure others were comfortable. "And just for reference, you could never be the wrong gender."

"Oh, okay, that's good." She sighed in relief. "I'm good being called a woman." She seemed to have forgotten her nakedness for a second until Mountain moved to pick up the crumpled blanket. Her eyes widened as she watched the huge ghoul gently drape it over her tiny body. Clutching it around herself, she turned and craned her neck to thank him. He towered over her, almost menacingly, and made her look even smaller than we already knew she was. Even without standing them together, I could tell she was smaller than even Dewdrop and he was the smallest, albeit feistiest, in our pack.

As we walked in the direction of our den, I couldn't help but wonder what the others thought of her and if they thought the same as me.

I could only hope they wanted her to be part of the pack as much as I did.

[em1e]

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

' never mind about the shape i'm in, i'll keep you safe tonight. '

⠀ |⠀shinichiro sano ⠀ |⠀800 ⠀ |⠀cw. none i think?? fluffy worry type beat ⠀ |⠀ danger days m.list

you honestly don’t think shinichiro ever slept. 

not once have you seen him rest his eyes for longer than a few minutes at a time. usually during the day, a (max) thirty minute power nap kept him grinding through the day and well into the night to keep watch for the group. 

it was admirable, in a way, if not for the concern creeping its way up your spine at the sight of dark bags under his eyes, the sluggish movements keeping him away from going out on material runs. 

another night, and he’s out by the dying fire someone’s made (baji, you think? maybe wakasa. he usually has a lighter on him), the tents surrounding it barely illuminated as the flame slowly dims down. 

you nudge his foot with your own as a warning of your presence, shinichiro seeming to not notice you until your boot makes contact with his own. he startles slightly, sitting up straighter and squaring his shoulders as if it’d somehow convince you he wasn’t about to fall unconscious from the warmth of the fire. 

“hey,” you greet, sitting beside him and offering the canteen of water you’ve brought with you. 

“hi,” he returns, gently taking the tin from you and tipping it back into his mouth, nodding his head and offering it back when he’s done drinking. you shake your head with a scrunch of your nose, and he places it beside his foot in the sand with a small hum, “thanks. somethin’ i can do for ya?”

“mmm, no. just wanted to check in.” 

“check in?” he parrots, head tilting, “what for?” 

you give a look as if it isn’t obvious, but it has his brows furrowing, head tilting for further clarification.  “on you,” you nudge his shoulder slightly with a huff, “you’re the only one staying up for the night watches, aren’t you? and you’re barely sleepin’ during the day. you’re pushing your body too much.” 

a small smile creeps its way onto his cheeks, straightening his posture, “don’t tell me our newbie’s worried ‘bout me.” 

the bastard makes an obnoxious kissy face at the proclamation that leaves you shoving at his shoulder again with a small laugh, “not a chance. i’m more worried about our safety as a group.” 

he almost pouts at your claim, but still is aware enough to address your concerns, “i do sleep,” he argues half-heartedly, “and wakasa or benkei’ll sometimes take over for me if i’m not feelin’ up for it. i just . . i dunno,  i prefer to do it myself.” 

absentmindedly, you think, his eyes trail to the two tents his siblings reside in, sleeping peacefully despite the dangers still lurking in the dark. maybe it’s because they know their brother is the one watching over them, that allows them to fall into it so easily. 

“i get it,” you say softly, following his gaze, “but to take care of everyone else, you gotta take care of yourself.” 

he blinks slowly at the thought before turning his gaze to meet your own, “ya think so?” 

the way he asks is genuine, matching your soft tone with the furrow of his brow returning. you nod slowly, patting his knee, “i do. i’ll keep first watch, yeah? you go rest for a few hours, i’ll wake you up when i get tired.” 

to solidify the fact that there’s no room for argument, you readjust your position of seating to something more comfortable and toss more fuel to keep the fire going with a soft glow. shinichiro seems to consider this for a moment, not moving from his spot as if he could have any reason to disagree, but the weight of his fatigue hits at the sudden thought of sleeping for anything more than a few minutes. 

“ . . . okay.” he settles finally, “but do you . . would you mind if i . .” he takes a breath to steel his nerves, “could i sleep out here, beside you and the fire? just to make sure you can wake me up quickly if you need to, or-” 

baby steps, you suppose. at least he’s agreeing to rest. 

“of course,” you interrupt gently, “i’ll wake you up if i need anything. promise.” 

he smiles at that, retreating quietly to one of the tents and returning with an armful of blankets and pillows to make the sand bearable enough to pass out on. to your surprise, he’s out cold within a few minutes, the sound of the fire crackling and the cool night air aiding in this feat if you had to guess. 

though someone should have warned you of how badly this group of killjoys seemingly self-proclaimed leader snores, you think maybe that’s a task to tackle another night. 

[cmmmmmms-blog]

[PLEASE DON’T NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR MY WORK]

Title:[MY BEAUTIFUL LOVER]

Pairing: [Loki x Reader) fem reader

Warnings: [cursing, Smut, 18+]

Summary: [ you and Loki late night together after you teasing him at the party]

————————————————————————————

She looked ever so dashing in that dress, my favorite color to and the way her body shaped into it fabric slowly gripped on to her skin. I was dying to touch what is mine.

“ I can feel you staring at me across the room something catch your eye?”

Her smile was ever so gorgeous and the way she smiled at me, saying those innocent words I swear I could take her right now I wanted to the tension was hot I just wanted to kiss her ever so passionately.

“ indeed, I can’t help it looking at quite a beauty”

She smiled once more “what a lucky women.. maybe she will invite you back to her room may be you’ll get something special tonight”

“I’ll sure do hope so” I said to her as I got closer

She looked directly in my eyes This woman was a goddess. She was so breathtaking. Felt I couldn’t breathe when she was around. I feel like I can die A Happy man with just her touch.

She got on her tippy toes even with her heels on she’s is slightly shorter She placed one hand on my chest and put her mouth up to my ear and whispered.

“ I bet you would love that wouldn’t you?”

Her breath was so hot I could feel she was teasing me. She loves to put me up to the challenge. She like to win and I let her.

“I would so very much”

She continued

“ how about tasting me hmm or maybe feeling me up against your torso or how my legs with shaking when you touch just the right spot”

I can feel myself getting hard within my pants I could feel the pain of it throbbing wanna to fill her but the pain was no match of how good it also felt

“Yes please love” I barely get out saying

And before I could lean in, and finally kiss her skin to finally kiss your lips, she moves away from me. And takes a sip of her champagne.

She smirks and says “I bet you would” and just like that she walks away

It’s like she knew exactly what she was doing leaving me in a position where I want her so much more. How could she leave me in such a vulnerable state

-later the night-

I finally got myself to calm down a couple glasses of water and me telling myself repeatedly to stop thinking about her naked but after the party I couldn’t find her no where

I looked for her desperately like a lost puppy I want to find her. I asked around and many just said she went back to her room saying she wasn’t feeling good that it had something to do with the champagne.

I went to her room, but there is no sign that she even was in there I wasn’t sure if I should just give up for the night or keep looking. I decided I should change first and then look for her and when I entered my room I didn’t expect to see her sitting on my bed

She smiled “ What took you so long I was starting to think maybe I’ll have to play all by myself and you know I can’t satisfy myself like you do.

I mediately lock the door. I’ve been dreaming to have her all night, and I finally get to have her the love of my life, my body and soul, my home.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere my love” I whispered

She gets up from the bed her heels off, but her green silky dress is still on. She puts her hair to the side on the shoulder and says

“Can I get a little help here”

She smells so good I kissed the bear side of her neck as her smell went into my throat. I felt that I finally found heaven I unzipped her dress slowly

It fell ever so gently to the ground. She is perfect.

She lays back on the bed fully undressing, and this time I can see every bear inch of her. Her beautiful, naked skin and I was so ready to have but I’m gonna take my time

I can already see how wet she was how she was sensitive to my fingers, but in a way begging for more

“ you’ll just have to be patient love” I whispered

I kiss her the lips I’ve been dying to have all night just to feel them on mine. It was passionate, but soon got rough. I stopped the kiss and continued from her neck to her breast to her nipples then to Her belly to her very sensitive areas that were only mines

I left marks all over her and finally when I got to lick her, her back arched as a moan escaped her mouth

I put my arms under her legs to keep them up and spread them far apart to see every inch of her. I could tell she was shy, but she never would admit it

I gave her one last look before I went down again one lick to which, then soon became my entire mouth, eating her out

She moan my name which I love when she does that

“Loki!!! I’m going to cum” she screamed

I just kept going I didn’t want to stop. I love the expression on her face the fact that she feel too loud. She had to get a pillow to cover her mouth and when in all reality I wanted to hear her scream some more.

She came, and I made sure to lick up every single last drop but we wasn’t done yet

When she finally catch her breath, she said to me

“It’s your turn”

She was going to the entrance of my d*ck

How I would love to feel her mouth around it how I don’t want to stopped her from having a taste but I couldn’t let her do that this is her night to enjoy all of it

“No my love this is about you tonight I wanna give it all to you” saying back to her

She knew immediately that arguing with me would not help so she laid back down and open her legs again as I pulled out my (member) instantly started to enter her. I can feel her wall squeeze around me, it feels so good I checked on The last thing I would want to do is hurt her

Her back was arching again,and are hands were locked in together. She could barely whisper out my name, and my tip was only in her. We still had a lot more to go, and soon fully she begged me for more.

“Please Loki”

I gave her exactly what she asked for she let out a really loud moan I was so turned on fucking her is so amazing

I started to move my hips slowly to tease her, but I thought I was just making the situation worse for me and all of a sudden I felt myself going faster. It’s been a while since I felt inside of her I could feel myself about to come, but I didn’t want to. I wanted this to last.

She kept morning my name, yelling it out really loud and her nails were deep into my back. I don’t care I would wear those scars like a metal that I won

She was squeezing her walls even harder I knew I wasn’t gonna last I gave her the signal that I was about to cum, but I feel deep down. She already knew I came on top of her tummy.

She came at the same time. We was both so out of breath but I still had something to say

“I love you” I whispered in her ear

I started to clean her up and she smiled at me and replied back “I love you too” and she stared into my eyes and I stared back at hers and I was so happy to be with the love of my life

My beautiful Lover.

[rottenmemes]

the national—laugh track sentence starters.

some lines adjusted to fit; feel free to change pronouns, proper nouns, etc. as needed

alphabet city

" i don't miss the world, not the way it was. "

" i can't get there. "

" i try to think of it; i'm always at a loss. "

" all of your lonesomeness is kept in your wallet. "

" nobody notices, baby, you got this. "

" i'll still be here when you come back. "

" i will listen for you at the door. "

" take forever off anytime you want. "

" i'll save your place. "

" if anybody asks, i'll say you're coming back. "

" we'll just have to wait. "

" sometimes i wanna drive around and find you, and act like it's a random thing. "

" i always wonder if you ever feel like i blew all chances of this happening. "

" i'm not over it, don't know what it is. "

" something's wrong with me like it always is. "

" everything's orchestrated, follow the arrows. "

" let's meet where we used to. "

" sometimes i barely recognize this place. "

" when you're with me, i don't miss the world. "

deep end (paul's in pieces)

" i'm going off the deep end. "

" i'm barely sleeping. "

" the ringing in my ears sounds like singing. "

" it's the only thing i hear. "

" i'm drowning out inside the sound. "

" i can't stop myself from thinking about you all the time. "

" i'm always trying to tune you out. "

" i'm gonna let you in tonight. "

" when the sound of your voice comes through, it's hardly there. "

" it's all i care about. "

" i can't follow what you're saying. "

" i don't bother to try. "

" i just cling to it. "

" i just listen. "

" it sounds like you're saying bеautiful things to me. "

" it sounds like you're sеtting me up for beautiful dreams. "

" there were little bits of beautiful things you would say while i was fading off. "

weird goodbyes

" memorize the water, memorize the air. "

" there'll come a time i'll wanna know i was here. "

" i don't know why i don't try harder. "

" i feel like throwing things into the water. "

" get it down to nothing, everything that matters. "

" i've been going down some strange water. "

" move forward now, there's nothing to do. "

" i can't turn around, i can't follow you. "

" your coat's in my car, i guess you forgot. "

" it's crazy the things we let go of. "

" it finally hit me after a mile's drive. "

" the sky is leaking, my windshield's crying. "

" i'm feeling sacred, my soul is stripped. "

" the radio's painful, the words are clipped. "

" the grief, it gets me. "

" these are the weird goodbyes. "

" my car is creeping, i think it's dying. "

" i'm pulling over until it heals. "

" i'm on a shoulder of lemon fields. "

" what was i even leaving for? "

" i keep going back and forth. "

" i think now I'm about to see. "

" i didn't know how sad it'd be. "

turn off the house

" put everything in boxes. "

" leave all the windows open, leave the beds unmade. "

" i've gone to see if i can find out what it means when my mind leaves my body. "

" turn off the house. "

" there's nothing you need to get back to. "

" there's no one you need to see. "

" leave all the messages blue, don't even look at the screen. "

" it's a full-body, gentle shutdown. "

" there are so many people to let down. "

" don't еven think about me. "

" you're bailing out. "

" you're free of it now. "

dreaming

" you're always where you leave yourself. "

" you're six feet in the sky. "

" there's true love at your fingertips. "

" you're engineered for life. "

" you can stop dreaming. "

" you're just the way you like yourself. "

" you're social, bright and promising. "

" you have a perfect personality. "

" you're beyond imagination. "

" i'll dream for you. "

" it'll all come true. "

" i slept for an hour, i'm up for now. "

" all this makes me think of you. "

" i hate to count explosions, but i do it all night. "

" you personalize everything. "

" you personalize everyone's emotions. "

" it's always all about you. "

" it's always self-devotion. "

laugh track

" i'm losing my momentum. "

" i'm losing my mind. "

" there's not enough to mention, not enough time. "

" i can't even say what it's about. "

" all i am is shreds of doubt. "

" you don't know how to deal with me. "

" you don't know how that feels. "

" it all comes apart so easily. "

" you're running out of ideas. "

" everything melted in less than a week. "

" watching you felt like forever. "

" the lights started dimming and then they went out. "

" heaven came down like a blanket. "

" turn on the laugh track. "

" everyone knows you're a wreck. "

" you're nevеr this quiet, your smile is cracking. "

" you just haven't found what you'rе looking for yet. "

" let's see if it changes the scene. "

" maybe this is just the funniest version of us that we've ever been. "

" i think our feet are gonna slip. "

" i think our hands are gonna shake. "

" i think our eyes are gonna cry. "

" i think our hearts are gonna break. "

" maybe we'll never lighten up. "

" maybe this isn't gonna quit. "

" i think it's never coming back. "

" maybe we've always been like this. "

space invader

" it's a calculation i made a mistake on. "

" i never should have said it like i said. "

" it'll come to me later. "

" i won't be able to get it out of my head. "

" what if i'd never written the letter i slipped in the sleeve of the record i gave you? "

" what if I'd stayed on the c train until the end? "

" what if we'd never met? "

" what if i'd only just done what you told me, and never looked back? "

" what if i'd only ducked away down the hallway and faded to black? "

" it was too romantic, it was sad and frantic. "

" it was a paperback book in the storm drain. "

" it could go number one if i copied an earworm from a melody that i wish i'd had. "

" it's a quarter after four in the morning. "

" why'd i leave it like that? "

hornets

" what does it mean when your arms fall asleep? "

" how do you get rid of hornets before the weekend? "

" when did they say we should turn back the clocks? "

" why do they always say everything's for the best when everybody knows it's not? "

" i don't wanna talk because i don't wanna fight. "

" we always get bogged down in the heavy shit. "

" you know what it's like. "

" but i don't wanna leave, and i don't wanna hide. "

" i just don't wanna run into you tonight. "

" i need to decide what to do with my hands. "

" i'll turn you into a spiderweb again. "

" it's something everybody understands. "

" i don't wanna talk. "

" i don't wanna fight. "

" i don't need to be rescued. "

" i just need to be pinned. "

" god's in the decals and the words on your skin. "

" not being in love with you, it isn't easy to fake. "

" i don't know if you're ever gonna come back from your cigarette break. "

coat on a hook

" don't leave me here at this party like a coat on a hook. "

" it's been two days, and we're still not talking. "

" you're the opposite of an open book. "

" come back for me. "

" everyone's nervous and looking at their feet. "

" i ask the same questions to everyone i see. "

" what am i missing? "

" where have you been? "

" what if they ask me about it? "

" where would i begin? "

" friendships are melting, nothing is helping. "

" nothing's worth keeping, promises cheapen. "

" from the beginning, i've had you. "

" in my mind, i've been dеad slow swimming to you, in the dead low tide. "

" this isn't your problеm, believe me. "

" i know how i sound. "

" i don't feel like myself anymore, when you're not around. "

" it's been two years since i saw you. "

" you were telling me not to be so melodramatic. "

" you always come back from things like this. "

" everyone's missing. "

" it's like a confession with nobody listening. "

" it warms my face and gets my hands to open. "

" it's like it says on the prescription. "

tour manager

" do what you can to get me out of this plan tonight. "

" maybe you can say i wanted to make it, but i won't get back in time. "

" it's beautiful how you can find a good excuse for anything. "

" none of them are cheap. "

" how long can you keep on covering? "

" play it like it's nothing. "

" it's nothing. "

" i don't wanna talk about it. "

" i don't like the way it sounds. "

" i wanna keep it kinda quiet. "

" i'm gonna try to keep it down. "

" i know you know what i mean. "

" you've seen me here before. "

" say the bubble left without me. "

" don't say anymore. "

" let me know when you're free. "

" i gotta tell you something i beliеve in. "

" it came to me whilе i was waking up from something i was dreaming. "

" it's beautiful how we can find a good excuse for anything. "

" how long can we keep on covering? "

crumble

" you say that it's true, but you don't know what to do. "

" it's only because you love me. "

" i'm telling you that i'm sure; it can't wait anymore. "

" it's only because i love you. "

" i'm gonna crumble. "

" if you say it like that, i'll die. "

" if you say it like that, i'll probably cry. "

" if you say it like that and don't wanna take it back, i'm gonna crumble. "

" don't misread my words; sometimes, they're gonna hurt. "

" you say you're well aware of that, but you don't care. "

" get yourself ready to catch what you can of me. "

" get yourself ready to pick me up. "

" i said it without intention. "

" i just thought that i should mention it. "

" i want to see you soon. "

smoke detector

" all you need to do is protect her. "

" blink and bless her and let her rest. "

" don't let my memory dissolve. "

" make a list of your loved ones in order of height. "

" laugh at the blackbirds in the knack of the night. "

" forgive all the favorites in your phone. "

" imagine yourself completely alone. "

" i'll sit in the backyard. "

" at least i'm not on the roof anymore. "

" in a year or so, i hope nobody remembers. "

" i need to recharge. "

" it won't really reach anything, will it? "

" i'll get better. "

" why don't you let me lay here and listen to the distant sirens? "

" i wonder why they have a dog in the driver's seat. "

" it's getting closer no matter where we go. "

" sift through the slush and the ash and the dust for whatever stands out, for whatever reason. "

" maybe it's a laugh, or a rush, or a remembered feeling. "

" i don't know what it means, but i don't wanna leave it. "

" you'll know where it is whenever you need it. "

" i make a good argument, admit it. "

" you don't know how much i love you, do you? "

" let's just try to remember the best of us. "

" why don't you lay here and listen to distant sirens with me? "

" i wonder if they have a dog in the driver's seat. "

[wmheart3012]

𝟓: 𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐎𝐂!𝐋𝐞𝐮𝐫 𝐱 𝐀𝐳𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥

♡ 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 | ♤ 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 | ♞ 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭/𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 | ☆ 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭 {𝟏𝟖+} | ♛ 𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐞 {𝟏𝟖+}

꧁༒☬𝓶𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂'𝓼 𝓷𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓰𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷☬༒꧂

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

★彡[ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ʀᴇ-ᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏᴡɴ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ɪɴᴠᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ ɴᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴄᴛᴏʀꜱ, ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴏᴄ. ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀᴄᴄᴜʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴅᴇᴘɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ.]彡★

★彡[ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴɢᴀɢᴇ]彡★

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟏: 𝐀 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - ★彡[ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛꜱ]彡★

★彡[ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ - ɴᴇxᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ]彡★

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Tamlin

Shockingly, I hadn't bled out yet.

I wasn't stupid enough to put it past the king to use something to keep me alive. Even if I was mostly just a shell, I was positive my soul had died a few hours ago. A sickening crack sounded down the hall, followed by another scream from Leur.

It had been nearly a week, and still I cringed every time I heard it. I wondered what they had broken this time, or if they had moved on to re-breaking the bones that had already healed.

It had been 16 hours since I last heard anything from Lucien's cell across from mine. I couldn't decide what was worse, the possibility that he was dead or that he was still alive.

"This can all go away if you just tell me what I want to know." A booming voice echoed down the hall, "You can't take much more, don't you want to be reunited with that brother of yours again?"

"Go to hell." Leur spat back.

"You asked for it." Another voice joined in, and then there was the sound of splashing water. I tried not to count the seconds, tried not to imagine her panic as her body screamed for air.

Somehow, I found myself counting anyway.

Somewhere around 124 seconds, I had to physically cover my mouth to stop from screaming.

She's dying.

She's dying.

Get her out!

I'd learned that lesson yesterday, when they finally got so fed up with Lucien and I screaming for them to stop- they'd gagged us and tortured us with her for hours. Everytime she refused to speak, refused to give information, all three of us recieved whatever punishment they had deemed. They only stopped whenever Lucien passed out, barely breathing. They threw us in the cells and 10 hours later they came back for her.

At 148 seconds, I heard her gasp for breath.

"Tell us how you're alive." One of them demanded, and I heard the wall crunch as her body was thrown into it, "Tell us."

"I'm not telling you shit." Her voice was strong even if laced with pain, "Kill me. I don't care."

"How about I kill that mate of yours instead?" The King's voice joined the cacophony.

How generous of him to grace us with his presence.

"You'll never find him." She answered.

"Let me guess, he's in Velaris." The King's voice hissed in reply, "Along with your brother, your cousin, and that other brute. Perhaps I should go after the Morrigan first, if your mate isn't enough to sway you. I do remember how close you used to be, seems she has gleaned to take care of your mate for you in your absence."

Velaris?

What the hell is Velaris?

"Keep her name out of your fucking mouth!" I could hear her fighting against the restraints.

"You're the one with the dirty mouth my dear." The King answered, "Remember the fun we used to have?"

I felt my stomach twist in response, nausea rising quickly up my throat. Memories flashed in my head from the first war, seeing Leur hang herself on the King's arm, the way he used to look at her as if she was something to eat.

"You make me sick." Leur spat.

And then, the King exploded, "You took the only thing I cared about, the only thing I loved. You'll pay for it in blood unless you decide to give me what I want."

For a moment, the hall went deathly silent. That dark power curled down the hall towards me, sending a chill down my spine. I waited with bated breath, listening for her response.

"Kill me then."

The man laughed then, his power recoiling, "Wrong choice." He took a breath before continuing, "I think I'll start by killing your family first. I remember how effective that was last time, your poor mother."

I heard a growl rip from her mouth, "If you could attack Velaris you would have done it already." She answered.

"I can do whatever, whenever I please." The King began walking away, "And who said I hadn't attacked Velaris yet?"

And then the screaming started up again.

Tamlin

1 week later

They had either messed up and thrown her in the wrong cell, or they had thought seeing the damage done to her would make me talk.

I was more focused on keeping her alive. The wounds on her leg would not stop bleeding, and my hands, the cell, everything was coated in it. I spent a lot of time wondering just how much someone could bleed and stay alive as I held pressure on the wound with a scrap of my shirt. Hours passed, maybe even days, and I was exhausted. My body was spent, I was spent, and I was pretty sure Lucien had died. At some point, I resorted to screaming for help. Something, anything, just for that ebb of crimson blood to stop. I knew nobody would ever hear me, not when I knew this place like the back of my hand, not when I had spent days down here before. I screamed and cried, begging for anything to make it stop, begging for someone to save us.

Perhaps somewhere along the way, I had lost my mind completely. I spent hours calling out for Rhysand, of all people, in my mind. I held on to some ridiculous notion of hope in my mind, just like I had for the past 500 years. Hope was a dangerous thing, and when it was unwarranted it had a way of ripping you to pieces. I spent so long playing games with Rhys, pretending to hate him was like a constant knife in my chest.

In reality, I just missed my friend.

When I finally saw Leur again after 120 long years, there was nothing of her left. After I spent another countless amount of years trying to get her to remember, I had fell to my knees before her and begged to tell Rhys the truth, the guilt of a crime I had never committed threatening to kill me, and she refused me. She had looked so different then, the light gone from her eyes replaced by something otherworldly. I remembered waiting for her to say something, anything, that let me know she was still in there. But all she did was refuse me, and I had nothing left to do but to go home.

Still, it was hope that kept me coming back. Decades spent crossing through that portal, seeking her out, trying everything I could think of to get her back. But she was nearly as dead as everyone thought she was, cold, unfeeling, lost in the pain and grief, shouldering a burden in that land that she never let me see. I told her everything I could find out about her family, her friends, and she never once acknowledged it. She'd brush me off, drown me out, sometimes even lock me out of the chateau she built for herself. I watched Rhysand, my friend who had taught me so much, fall into the darkness that his father had once wielded. After a few decades, I barely recognized him anymore. It was around that same time that I realized that I had done the same, that when I looked in the mirror all I saw was my father. And I just couldn't bring myself to give up. Maybe I was chasing some dream, a distant memory of black wings sailing through the trees of the Spring Court, of the last time I felt some measure of happiness. Maybe, if I gave up on her, it would be like giving up on myself.

And then Lucien came, and he was so broken. In the same way she was, betrayed by his own court, losing the love of his life in the process. I saw the similarities between them, that heartache in their eyes, that pain. Still, it took me a long time to trust him enough to let him in on my biggest secret.

I hadn't expected him to be the one that brought her back. But it was so tangible, how they healed each other, how they understood things about the other that nobody else could. I'd never forget that day, when Lucien had gone through without me, and I walked up to the gates of that chateau. It had always been so lifeless there, silent. But that day, I heard laughter in the air, both his and hers, and I felt that happiness for the first time in centuries. And slowly but surely, she came back to life. She started joking again, started singing again, started asking about her family, and that light that had always been inside her glowed once more.

And then somehow, we ended up here. She was dying under my hands, and Lucien hadn't made a sound in a week now.

I had dreams of the day she'd be freed from that bargain. For a moment, they almost came true. She was like a whirlwind, immediately showing up and picking a fight with me. I couldnt bring myself to mind, not as I watched her walk through the forest, enchanting Feyre with her every move, not as I watched her stroll into the manor as if she never left. But just like that hope I held onto all those years, my dreams were fruitless.

My body was weaker than I could ever remember it being, half from the lack of my magic and half from the wounds littering my body. My hands were covered in her blood, marking me with my own incapability to save anyone I loved. My entire body shook as I kept that pressure, willing myself to keep going, to keep her alive no matter if I died for it.

And finally, the blood stopped flowing. Her body had healed enough, as slow as it was, to close the wound. Her heartbeat echoed in my ears as I collapsed next to her, my body spent, my mind spent. I found the strength to put my back against the stone walls, the lashes from yesterday having healed enough to allow me to do so, and I pulled her head in my lap.

It wouldn't be long before they killed her. If they had thrown her in her own cell with that wound, she'd be dead by now. I supposed that the King had gleaned to finish what he started all those years ago.

Maybe it would be for the best. At least the pain would stop.

She was living on borrowed time anyway.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

★彡[ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ - ɴᴇxᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ]彡★

[thebloodbringscolorandfluoresce]

Easter Chicken.

There's seasons where I am capable of doing almost anything, and there's stages where I feel so frail and in sickness.

It's not easy to live with an ailment that's everlasting; so far I relapsed twice and it has become a routine to take my whole fist worth in vitamins.

It's so childish to be afraid of the doctor, step into his office with all those instruments that provoke doubt and fear. The digits printed in the lab results become so much than just a number; the needles and fasting.

Is it slowly dying, or barely surviving?

Every couple of months, my body feels a different kind of way. I don't recognize myself when I'm covered in bruises, bloating; yellow-toned eyes and lots of self-loathing.

I keep asking myself every night; when will I get better? The stress isn't helping me get any better. Life's too short to be in long-term pain; the chemicals in my bloodstream work for a while, but it's not enough.

In fact, they're actually shortening my lifespan.

I spent eternal minutes in the shower— watching how the red dye flushes away through the drain, wait for the silence of the night to lay curled up in my bed and just endure the physical pain.

Doctors obviously don't want you to recover, medicine it's the price you have to pay.

And trust me, I want to stop acting like a child, live like a patient and just complain. But I'm unable to feel anything but discomfort, and the only thing my mouth can manage to say is sorry.

It was too late to listen to my claims, and I'm not so sure if I'll be around in the next couple of years.

I'll never know if I was a sick hatchling from the start, or I just had bad luck. The only wish I have is to hold no grudges and hard feelings behind my back.

For the water weight to flush out my system, and my menstrual cycle to be normal once and for all. I just want the doctor to say I'm okay.

I know, it's too much to ask.

- Amy Jade

[bugbxyjunk]

hello cj. my name is oliver. you may know me as ollie of @ollieollieoxenfreeee.

answer all 100 of the questions. every single one. do it.

bet.

2. what’s the weather like?

Humid and veryyy warm, but much cooler than it has been!!

3. are you impulsive?

yes, oh my god yes, its a really bad problem

4. are you organised?

no but i am trying!!

5. are you self confident?

HAH. thats funny. no

8. what’s something you hate about yourself?

uhhh not to get all edgy but my like entire self of being? in specific probably my body. or my scars. really hate those.

9. do you have any pets?

Yes! 3, my babies 🥹

10. do you have any regrets?

too many to count man

11. do you have any siblings?

yes, 2 technically. but. i only say one

12. what do you think comes after life?

death, probably

13. what colour is your water bottle?

mainly blue, its git sharks on it :3

14. have you ever dyed your hair/would you ever want to?

its actually dyed rn

16. do you believe in aliens?

YES

17. do you believe in ghosts?

YES

18. do you believe in karma?

yes, actually

19.do you believe in astrology?

ehh kinda? not really, but i also don't know a lot about it

20. do you believe in luck?

Yeah

21. what is/was your favourite subject in school?

Not to be That Stereotypical Person™ but definitely art

22. what is/was your least favourite subject in school?

Math. i hated the class, i hated the teacher, i suck at it, and ive never been good at it.

23. how long have you been friends with your longest friend for?

Considering i only have one stable friendship, almost 3 years i think? maybe 2 and half

24. what do you do in your free time?

i have too much free time in the summer, and lately ive just been on my phone and listening to music/watching YouTube

25. what do you do under stress?

Cry? Panic?? okok fr though if theres a more suitable leader i let them handle things and panic quietly, but if i have to take the lead i can, then i fall apart afterwards. by myself. away from anyone else, of course of course

26. who/what do you turn to to vent?

okok honestly? no one? i mean i go to J (irl friend for those that don't know) for smaller/easier to handle things. but. really i try to deal with everything alone

27. spicy, sweet or savoury?

Sweet, probably

28. what’s your favourite drink?

Strawberry watermelon Ice drinks 🙏

29. what’s your favourite cuisine?

cuisine is so fancy for what I'm about to say, my mom's Alfredo shits delicious

31. what are you wearing right now?

women's beach shorts that r wayyy too big and a grey oversized Harley Davidson shirt

32. what’s your favourite time of day?

Night time !!

33. who do you trust the most?

My mom or J

34. do you trust anyone completely?

Nah

35. would you ever want to get married?

Noooo thank u im good

36. would you ever want children?

NO. i will b the uncle to J's kids, i shouldn't be allowed my own kids i can barely keep myself alive

37. do you have any allergies?

Pollen. and i think caramel??? i don't know i cannot eat that shit

38. do you hate anyone?

Yes

40. what is your relationship with your family like?

Pretty good now, it was pretty rocky for a bit and well childhood was. something. but its great now, my immediate family is my priority in life

41. what is your middle name?

Next question

44. do you like making art?

Yes! its kinda like therapy. and much cheaper.

45. do you believe in the death penalty?

Yeeesh thats a heavy question dontcha think? i think if you're a r--pis- yeah fuck the fuck right the fuck off. I do not care. but i don't think im allowed to speak beyond that, im not qualified

46. do you follow routines/plans easily?

I actually prefer them, i get overwhelmed without them

47. growing up, what did you want to do in life?

I wanted to be a pretty woman with a husband and children and be a vet, a lot has changed since then

48. what is your favourite album?

i don't think i really have one? i don't really pay attention to names/albums on what im listening to, i just enjoy the music. this is why music connoisseurs hate me

49. what’s something you’re grateful for?

My mama 🫶🫶

50.what’s a food you hate?

Tomatoes. for various reasons.

51. would you rather lose your legs or arms?

uhhhhhhhh legs? i guess??

52. what is the most important thing to you right now?

Getting ny shit together for school so i can get a good fuckin scholarship

53. what’s the last dream you remember having?

Something about my grandfather? and a train. it definitely had something to do with something I don't like digging up sooo

54. do you believe in soulmates/true love?

I guess, yeah i do. i think ive met mine, since they aren't always romantic. twin flame is the platonic version i think?

55. what is your favourite word?

Shark, maybe. Or like, Slippery, funky ass word

56. would you rather be loved, trusted or respected?

Loved or trusted, people don't respect me much already so like i can handle not being respected

57. would you want to be famous if you had the chance?

Depends i guess, id like act in something that sees people one day, so sure why not

58. what are/were you like in school?

Horribly quiet, and awkward, and clumsy. and also 'intimidating'

59. who’s the last person you talked to?

J my bbg 🫶🫶🫶

60. what would your perfect day be like?

Getting adequate sleep, spending the day at an aquarium with a loved one(romantic, platonic, queer platonic, i don't care), swimming, or just laying quietly with a lover, i don't need much to be Happy

61. where is a place that you’d love to visit?

THE GEORGIA AQUARIUM !!

62. what is your main goal in life?

Help as much of the ocean and sea life as i can, they're vital to this planet and just as important to take care of.

63. do you exercise often?

Not as much as i should, no

64. do you play any sports?

Im gonna be on the swim team again! i was on it in 8th grade

65. do you play any instruments?

Nah, but im gonna learn bass

66. what is your earliest memory?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i don't wanna talk about it so lets say getting my first build a bear from my aunt

67. if you could have a superpower, what’d you choose?

Shapeshifting.

68. what kind of person annoys you the most?

Uhh people who assume they're better than you for "xyz reason"

69. what is your biggest pet peeve?

People who talk in the middle of tests, or people that are rude to cashiers/customer service people for no reason

70. what’s your favourite number?

13

71. have you ever been in love?

Yeah, and i sometimes i feel like i still am

73. what is your deepest fear?

damn this is getting personal jeez, death? serious sickness/ailments, and doctors. also my half brother and his ex gf

74. have you ever met anyone famous?

i don't think so

75. cats or dogs?

Cats!!

77. how do you deal with loneliness?

uhh im kinda used to it, but if i ever cant deal w it i get into the shower and crank the knob all the way to hot

78. what’s your favourite animal?

is this a real question. SHARKLSKSKSKSKKSKKSHSJDHH!!!!!!!

80. would you rather freeze or burn to death?

uhhhhhhh burn? i feel like it'd be quicker maybe

81. what are some of your bad habits?

Biting my mouth, picking the skin on my fingers, and yk other things

82. what do you do when you’re angry?

Yell, hit my pillow, get in the shower and crank the knob all the way to hot. cry.

83. what is something that you’d want to learn?

Astronomy

84. what’s your favourite insect?

hmmmm Picasso beetle, they pretty

85. what are your thoughts on euthanasia?

god, its sad but sometimes if there's no other answer it might be best? like if my baby, my dog, had an incurable thing thay made life a pain for her every day and she wouldn't/couldn't get better i wouldn't want her to be in pain. i never want to see any of my animals in oain

86. what are your thoughts on your name?

Love it, thought of it myself, just wish id come up with Cj first instead of what other people know me as irl (Corey/ my deadname)

87. what’s your favourite name?

My favorite name..hmmmm...i don't know, i love all names, they're special in a way that I cant choose a single best one

88. would you rather go back or forward in time?

Back, i suppose..fix some things yk?

89. what are your thoughts on roller coasters?

I don't know, its been years sinec ive been on one

91. do you believe in love at first sight?

Nah, i don't think you can love someone instantly. you can experience attraction at first sight, but i genuinely don't think you can love someone at first glance. unless its an animal, then obviously yes.

92. what is something you’re currently worried about?

School, life, my friend, my mom

93. what was your childhood like?

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lets not open that can of worms

94. how long do you usually sleep for?

when i di get to sleep? around 10 hours in the summer 💀, usually around 3-6 during school

95. what hairstyle do you have right now?

something like this

(NOT ME!!!!! found on Pinterest)

96. if you could be one age for the rest of your life, what’d you choose?

uhh probably like 25? maybe?? idk

97. what genre of music do you listen to the most?

Uhhh pop..indie i guess? musicals too

98. where do you come from?

The US 🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅

99. do you curse/swear often?

Yes i do

100. what is the meaning of life?

Boys kissing me.