#I can always do research
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omg so u do know alnst!! been meaning to get a c♡mmission from u for one of the chars w my oc since u draw yanderes so well 😽🤍
luka and ivan is so meo core tho hehe i feel like they’re def up ur alley
ANYWAYS i can’t wait to learn more about your oc!! he looks so handsome I’m in love already… definitely exudes creep stalker vibes n we r here for it
Can confirm, Luka is one of my favorites so you can probably guess the state I was in after Wiege
#consumed a lot of copium that day#alnst spoilers#always open to alnst commissions#though I'm ok with commissions of stuff I'm not familiar with too#I can always do research
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DpxDc AU - If his parents are going to treat him like a punk, he might as well lean into it.
Danny is getting seriously worn down by his parents constantly asking him to explain why he’s gone all the time and why his grades have slipped so far. I mean, sure, it took them months to notice, but now that they have, they’re alluding to the fact that he’s turned into some kind of punk and that he’s not taking life as seriously as he should be. This is what makes Danny kind of snap.
He cuts his hair, gets Sam to pierce his ears in a few places (which sucked but was nice to catch up with her since Team Phantom didn’t get out much anymore), learns how to skateboard and gets Tuck to help him mask his identity on the internet as he begins online protesting the unethical treatment of ghosts. He makes picket signs that he leaves outside of Fentonworks and it takes days before his parents see them because they’re down in the lab. They go back up immediately after his parents take them down, and he begins tagging buildings with protest sayings and art all over amity park.
No matter how they ground him, the Drs Fenton are at a loss as to what to do to control Danny. Jazz says it’s not her place to interfere and is cheering her little brother on for being passionate about a new hobby.
Danny’s honestly really vibing with the changes. He always understood why Sam wanted control over her own look, but he’s really leaning into the whole shebang. Ember and Johnny13 have never bonded over anything more than they have the punk transformation of their King. He’s really representing them fr fr- she taught him how to play the bass.
With enough protests about the Anti-Ecto acts, the JL step in and begin their efforts to lobby change within the US government. Constantine is up to date on the new King being from Earth and thinks they might be able to weasel out a non-apocalyptic scenario if they reach out sooner than later. A letter gets sent through the infinite realms (No way in fuck was John going to try and summon a fucking King excuse you Bats)- Danny gets the letter and decides to let them sweat a bit, sending back his own letter that just says “K.” cause he’s learned that adults/authority figures all suck ass until proven otherwise. After a few days, a portal opens up in the middle of their meeting.
Ghost King Phantom is rolling in on a skateboard, with the Ring of rage dangling from one of his ear piercings and ice crown floating above his head. He’s drinking an off brand smoothie, wearing a leather jacket that has medieval chainmail on it over his now distressed hazmat suit and his boots steel toed.
“...Sup. Y’all want to do something about this whole situation? I’m an all or nothing kind of guy.” Danny greets them. He means that he’s willing to be diligent in his efforts to disbar the Acts. It gets interpreted as him threatening to end the world, ofc, but that’s an issue he has to deal with later.
“King Phantom we have been working daily to-”
“Uh huh. Look, didn’t you guys have like a teenage group? I want to work with them, they’ll probably actually help me get shit done while you fuck around with paper work.”
#the most punk thing you can do is protest#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dc crossover#dp crossover#danny phantom#dc universe#young justice crossover#danny doesnt want to work with the authorities but is willing to work with YJ#Tim drake gets a new skateboarding buddy#danny's skateboard is kind of cheating tho cause he and it can float#kon is always down to take down a government sponsored org that does unethical research#cassie just wants to fight for him and fix his fashion choices#bart recognizes him from the speedforce and they bond over time being a fake ass bitch#i just wanted the funny visual of danny skateboarding into a meeting on the watchtower
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Question about your changling AU, where did you learn about the ins and outs of Fae and Changling myths? I'm interested in learning too but not sure where to start lol
some of the lore I have for the AU I crafted myself, otherwise I read a lot of old faerie tales growing up and my mom, for some reason, knows an awful lot about shit like that, so some of it is just innate from her. otherwise i just read a lotttttt of books around the concepts of these things when I was younger because I was fascinated with jim henson's worlds
#replies#look into old myths and legends#read old books#start with uhhhh. uhhhhhhh#the princess and the goblin. the moorechild. shit like that#i read a lot of robin mckinley's works growing up which lean more into the silent side of magic shit#where magic is very much an unknown element. and defining it is not only risky but generally stupid#so sometimes shit happens. and you can make a cause and effect. you can do research. but there is always folly when playing with fate#so i feel like how I write magic tends to be a little more esoteric and odd#not so much chanting spells and giving exact definitions#more of. magic being a force like gravity. whos effects are usually not seen without it in action
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EEEEEEEE Okay so if you’re like me and closely examining every single thing on each of the arcana cards, you’ve probably wondered who all these kiddos are that chiron’s got with him
I’m sure most of us have gathered that the one getting head pats is achilles, considering he’s got curly blond hair, wearing green and holding a spear. But who are the others? And whose baby is that???
Well wonder no more! Hopefully! If I’m right! Because a quick look at a short list of chiron’s apprentices on wikipedia has provided me answers! (This ended up being incredibly long-winded I apologize in advance)
Let’s start at the bottom from left to right. On the far left we a boy draped in blue and holding a staff, a bronze snake wrapped around it. If you know anything about the origin of medical symbols you’ll know that this is asclepius and his famous rod (ha) that, at some point in history, got mistaken for hermes’ caduceus. Thus that’s why it’s the caduceus and not the rod of asclepius we see on hospitals and stuff. But I digress!
Asclepius is the god of medicine and the son of apollo, who was trained in the art of medicine by chiron. So it makes sense why he’s here!
In the middle we have a boy clad in red and wearing golden laurels. I believe that this could be jason of argonaut fame. Long story short, jason’s uncle pelias overthrew his half-brother aeson (jason’s father) and killed all his descendants. Alcimede, jason’s mother, saved her newborn son by having the nursemaids cry over him as if her were stillborn. She then managed to sneak away and give jason to chiron, who raised and trained him. Eventually jason does who whole golden fleece thing and becomes the king of iolcus, though he and medea were quickly exiled afterwards.
On the far right we see a boy clearing purple with deer antlers on his head. If you’re a big artemis fan like me you’ll recognize this guy pretty easily. This is actaeon, a theban hero trained by chiron who’s most famous for earning the wrath of artemis. While out hunting one day he came across the goddess and her nymphs bathing, instead of minding his damn business he decides to peep on her. Rightfully enraged, artemis curses him and forbade him from speaking another word, lest he be transformed. Upon hearing his hunting party he calls out (in some versions he tries whistling for his dogs) and he transforms into a stag. His hunting party finds him, and, seeing a stag in his place, his own dogs tear him a part and kill him.
FINALLY, we have the newborn baby chiron is holding. Now, chiron does have a few children of his own, so it’s possible it could be any one of them. But I think instead it’s a lad named medus, or polyxenus, or medeus it really depends. He’s the son of jason and medea, and like his father, he was also trained by chiron. But honestly that baby could be anyone lmao
Oh god I yapped on for more than I should have WHOOPS �� I hope you all enjoyed this quick mythology lesson lol
#welcome back to hades yap sesh with ya boy lobz#yes im very normal about chiron why do you ask#ouhfgghhfhghhh supergiant games I am constantly impressed by how much attention to detail you give to everything#like you can really tell that they actually give a shit about greek mythology and do their research and all the good stuff#while still telling an original story no less#I will always glaze sgg forever and ever#hades 2#hades ii#hades 2 spoilers#chiron
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ive just watched a youtube video about disco elysium and now i feel like this
#the video wasnt BAD bad just very basic#and A LOT of stuff flew over that youtubers head#like very surface level political analogies to soviet/post soviet archetypes#and i was like??? do you have to have certain background to get it??? sure not you can research and google what ppl think and whatnot#but oh well#the worst DE takes are always from USAmericans sorry my oomfies#disco elysium
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something something I love so much to think about charles knowing every detail of edwin's body language and not just that, but also about the things edwin does to stim or ground himself, and never questioning those little habits or rituals and just getting along with it, until it becomes normality for them both.
#yes this is about edwin being autistic#idk i like to believe that charles never thought about it#he just met edwin and was like “yep that's how he is and it's brills!”#until niko said something about it after seeing edwin stimming in several occasions or simply behaving in a way she *understands*#and it's just so casual and kind and suddenly charles just does his own research as he always does when it comes to edwin#and it just clicks in his head#i imagine that he'd try to learn all he can about it and about how he can help or do something about it— for edwin#cuz that's just how charles is#nvm this is so self-indulgent#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#payneland#charles rowland#edwin paine#charles and edwin#paineland#painland#paynland#dead boy detective netflix#neil gaiman#notebook entry
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stream https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncLoEunRqCc
:)
#k*rupt didn't ever do anythign to me to deserve being linked in a drawing that has neloth cheeks bro#my art#skyrim#talvas fathryon#neloth#based and referenced off a scene from fr*sh (1994) good movie btw#in my mind that drawing was gonna convey something miserable but idk it can be any Mood it seems. pick one#but as the artist i say talvas is at his wits end from getting 800 year old pipe#but art is for the Masses!#i figured that i'm sad partially to always drawing things that never convey happiness so i drew the ponies to go with it#taking 498 pictures of skyrim rooms for research (nelvas post-pipe) that;s Disgusting to say#HURL#nobody in this barren country or island has doors to their rooms and it's making me crayz#it fits with neloth i think cus he dgaf but i'm still caught up on that college dorm arrangement#round and doorless#..........MESS.
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I'm a strong "percy would get a job in education/outreach to underprivileged kids in the future" truther but I don't necessarily agree with people who say that him taking on marine biology as a college major doesn't make sense at all
"why would he study marine biology he can already work with sea animals to his heart's desire" I don't know maybe because he wants to get paid???????? he wants a normal job???? percy grew up poor and unsafe. why is it weird that he craves stability with a career that enables him to do something that he loves? or maybe he wants to go into the system and help bring about lasting reform that will actually improve care for sea creatures??? yes he can save sea animals on his own time but think about it. is it better to abandon his life in the middle of the night to go help a trapped sea creature Every Single Time it happens or is it better to enter the system and make it so that capitalists stop polluting water or disturbing sea ecosystems for profit. his powers as a son of poseidon are a band-aid not a lasting solution to systemic environmental neglect and decay. he has an established precedent of caring for bringing about systemic change (see: turning down immortality) and for me this is no different (I just personally headcanon him wanting to bring change for disadvantaged kids but whatever)
to me this logic is like telling an exceptional artist that there's no point in going to art school to become a professional when they can already just do art on their own time for fun. like yeah....... if you're content with doing that as just a hobby. but what if you want to become an even better artist and learn new skills. what if you want to do it as a job that pays you and gives you health insurance and social security. then what
for me the main logistical issue of him majoring in marine biology has never been that he would never do that it's that the intersection of new rome college accreditation to the Actual Real world isn't all that clear/logistically sound. like I guess the mist can handle anything but what impact is new rome going to be able to have on the realm of mortals. this would be a nice thing to discuss actually (more in tags)
#also........ can we acknowledge that Maybe percy could still have things he wants to learn about sea creatures#he can talk to them but that doesn't mean he knows every important thing there is to know about them#“there's nothing he could do as a marine bio that he can't already do” You should research marine bio before making such a claim#he's only 17/18 man#saying “percy can do the job of a marine biologist all on his own” assumes that percy will always know what's best for every sea creature#which is kind of ignorant and presumptuous in my opinion. he is brave and smart and kind but it's a bit anti-intellectual#to imply that he has No Use for such an education. that he couldn't possibly have anything more that he needs to learn#you can't tout yourself as a therapist just because you give exceptional advice and counsel you need an Education. you need Accreditation#however it's also rick's burden to more clearly state percy's motivations for a major decision like this#anyways that's just my opinion#baye.txt#percy jackson and the olympians#(this is not a defense of the new books as a whole lol it's just one of its details that I actually am not bothered by)#percy jackson#pjo headcanon#pjo hoo toa
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Am not gonna lie, considering David Attenborough's documentaries got me through the toughest month right before my prelim exams, it really is heartwarming to know he's fighting for trans ppl, he's so fucking kind and im tearing up.
#my stuff#if you watch the last episode of each planet earth season they talk with the scientists researching each area they visited#and he always sounds so excited talking about the great work these researchers are doing#and even though im not going into ecological research i still hope i can do work that he would find valuable ig
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yesterday was my first day getting back on my stationary bike since thanksgiving. manifesting my ability to do it again (aka ingesting thc)
#if you have a hard time with exercise because of physical disability and lack of control of muscle tension#obviously do your own research and consult a doctor if you feel the need to before you even try#thc might help you work your way back into (or into for the first time!) a regular exercise routine#the webmd interaction checker does include marijuana as a drug that can be assessed! always check#smoking is processed through your lungs which take damage hard. edibles are processed through your liver#which regenerates faster than thc edibles damage it. in case that matters to anyone#that's why i take edibles anyway. also i hate smoking#anyway! taking an edible and waiting half an hour before you start your workout means that your high will be kicking in about the time#you get finished with your workout - exercise makes you metabolize thc faster#you also get to combine thc high with your after workout happy chemicals and#the dopamine boost will bring your brain to associate physical exertion with feeling Good#which is good! i use thc for muscle tension from ptsd and other unrelated chronic pain#this has been your thc psa of the day#mer rambles
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Been hving this theory for a few months now that this "Master Wu caused the Merge" thing is just Wu having been surprised by how soon it happened. It wasn't supposed to come this early, we've heard him say it in multiple flashbacks
Also, theory that kind of goes along with this is that Ras is responsible for it happening so early. He mentions in s2 to Jordana (possessed by Rox) that he used Dragon Icons (like that really pretty dagger/sword Lloyd got from Motion at the end of s2) to lure the Energy Source Dragon and then captured it. At the end of s1 when Lloyd goes to release said Source Dragon (with the Dragon Energy Cores!) it says that 'freeing it could cause the whole cosmos to destabilize. That destabilization could've resulted in the Merge, which then threw Wu for a loop because it wasn't supposed to happen yet but it did. Oh, also I think it's obvious that either Wu can do some astral projection stuff now or he's actually dead (I kinda figured it would be the latter after the second batch of s1 dropped in 2023 but remained silent.. He's probably dead tho)
#ninjago#lego ninjago#lego ninjago dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#dragons rising season 2#ninjago dragons rising s2#dragons rising s2#dragons rising spoilers#dragons rising season 2 spoilers#master wu#sensei wu#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#ninjago sensei wu#lord ras ninjago#ninjago lord ras#lord ras#spoiler tags just to be safe#ninjago spoilers#ninjago theory#useless ramble#actually. i do also have a bit of a theory that maybe arin wasnt supposed to be who were all thinking he is rn#like. idk id make a post about it but the very way he always talks about the ninja compared to sora is. slightly different#and their backgrounds are different too which makes the way they see them even more interesting to me#the tournament makes it so obvious to me.. but whatevrr ill see if i can describe it properly for a post tmrw or the day after#dont hold me to this btw lol#sorry does the wu one even make sense? i mean it in the sense of. god idek. like he was researching how to stop it bc he calculated how long#it would be for it to happen. but then it didnt come on the scheduled day but sooner. when he didnt finish his research
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Adventures in Research: What do you mean "Bowl of Hearts"???
It starts simply; I was checking out the Heart Container page on the Zelda wiki (as anyone does) where I saw it "also known as Bowl of Hearts (TAoL)." Known as Bowl of Hearts? TAoL?? Uh no, it isn't??? I have read that manual quite a few times and I think I'd remember if it was called "Bowl of Hearts" as it is such a strange phrase. But I always have lots to learn so I put my pride aside and start to get to the bottom of this claim. Because hey, if this is true it's one more piece of AoL trivia I get to feel superior about knowing.
Link to the Zelda Wiki page
Naturally the first thing I do is that I look for the source of this particular claim. It comes from the Zelda Encyclopedia! Okay alright that means I have a lead. So, I hop on Google only to find that the only places I can find it is Internet Archive and Internet Archive is currently down due to some kind of cyber-attack. :| Fantastic. I guess I have to wait. To quell my interest, I double check the game where unlike in TLoZ, TAoL does not have an intro scroll with the names of the items. Additionally, I checked a text dump (link to that) of the game where it is only referred to as a "Heart." No bowls there. The manual is exactly as I remember it to be calling it "Heart Container" like normal.
(Zelda 2: Adventure of Link English Manual pg. 45)
I also see if I can find another source like a strategy guide which, yes it is still called "Heart Container."
(Nintendo Power January/February 1989 pg. 20)
So I put it aside until I get the wonderful news that Internet Archive is back and running!!! Yay! I rush over and check the Heart Container entry to find that yes, it does in fact say that TAoL calls Heart Containers "Bowl of Hearts."
(Legend of Zelda Encyclopedia pg. 127)
And so the Wiki did source it properly.... But my sources are also correct, no? So what's the deal? Why is this the first time I've heard of this phrase?
And thus I decide to go to the source: The Japanese Encyclopedia. Unfortunately, I could not find the Japanese version of the encyclopedia anywhere so I do the next best thing. I grab Google translate and start looking through the Japanese manual. Some things to note first:
I DON'T KNOW JAPANESE!
At all! And Google Translate is notoriously very finnicky when it comes to Japanese. So, I'm relying a lot on pattern recognition. (Also, apologies in advance if I mess up any of the Japanese here. Again, I don't know Japanese, and I am using Google translate.)
First stop is the TAoL Japanese Manual where it is referred to as ハートのうつわ.
(Zelda 2: Adventure of Link Japanese Manual pg. 48)
I stick that in Google Translate and seem to find the problem.
ハートの means "heart."
うつわ means "vessel, container or bowl." So maybe this can be translated as both "Heart Container" and "Bowl of Hearts" and it just depends on the context! As I lack all cultural and linguistic context I do the next best thing: check other manuals and see how they spelled it. The key here is that TAoL has been singled out for whatever reason. If the other manuals match this spelling something went wrong somewhere else.
I find the OoT Manual where it has... the same spelling?
(OoT Japanese Manual pg. 28)
And to double check I look at the OoA Manul and again:
(OoA Japanese Manual pg. 42)
Same spelling! So why was TAoL singled out? What a mystery...
I still can't find the Japanese Encyclopedia, so I keep looking. I look in the game to find that it is also referred to simply as "Heart" in the Japanese version (Underlined in pink).
(Youtube: "リンクの冒険 (FDS) 全クリア (ノーデス)" Time: 1:06:43)
I check a Japanese Strategy guide!
(The Adventure of Link Winning Guide pg. 17)
Its all the same(ish)! Where did this seemingly unique part of TAoL come from???
And I finally find it! I find a youtuber who has access to the Japanese Encyclopedia and I ask them to show the Heart Container entry.
(Youtube: "LoZ lore because you asked 1" Time: 0:10)
Note: It is hard to see but TLoZ is "ゼルダの伝説" while TAoL is "リンクの冒険" above with the in-game pictures.
And AH HA! You see that? That last portion that should refer to TAoL but is instead referring to the ORIGINAL LEGEND OF ZELDA???
It says that in TLoZ Heart containers are also referred to as "Heart Shaped Water Bottle" (ハートの水筒). And this is true as in the game they are referred to as "Container Heart" with the (イノチ ノ ウツワ) spelling while in the Manual they are referred to as "Heart Shaped Water Bottles" with the (ハートの水筒とハート) spelling.
(Youtube: "Zelda no Densetsu: The Hyrule Fantasy - FDS - No Commentary Playthrough" Time: 0:48)
(The Hyrule Fantasy: The Legend of Zelda Japanese Game Manual pg. 21)
So it was a mistranslation all along! Or so I hope... Because at the end of the day, why was it translated like this? What happened along the way to end up attributing the "Bowl of Hearts" translation to TAoL when I cannot find a primary source that refers to it as such. I believe the reason they did not translate the Japanese Encyclopedia entry directly to English is that it is not referred to as a "Heart Shaped Water Bottle" in the English translation. Then why single out TAoL? Is it because no one would doubt it or think to double check? Or is there some primary source out there that does refer to it as a "Bowl of Hearts"? I just can't know for sure. Ultimately, this doesn't matter that much, at the very most it's just annoying that it gets referred to as this in the wiki when there doesn't seem to be a primary source to back this claim. Oh well.
For now, I sign off! And wish you on your merry way. Thank you for reading or at least scrolling to the bottom.
Sources:
Zelda Wiki Hart Container entry: https://zeldawiki.wiki/wiki/Heart_Container
TAoL Text Dump: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/nes/563487-zelda-ii-the-adventure-of-link/faqs/20234
Zelda 2: Adventure of Link English Manual: https://www.nintendo.co.jp/clv/manuals/en/pdf/CLV-P-NAASE.pdf
Nintendo Power January/February 1989: https://shedevr.org.ru/zelda64rus/media/Zelda2_(Nintendo_Power_004)_(1989)_Jan-Feb.pdf
Legend of Zelda Encyclopedia: https://archive.org/details/TheLegendOfZeldaEncyclopedia/page/n119/mode/2up
Zelda 2: Adventure of Link Japanese Manual: https://archive.org/details/booklet_aol_jp/page/n47/mode/2up
OoT Japanese Manual: https://www.zeldadungeon.net/wiki/images/a/aa/Ocarina-of-Time-Japan-Instruction-Manual-Page-28-29.jpg
OoA Japanese Manual: https://archive.org/details/zelda-oracle-of-ages-j-cart-and-manual-ozidual/Zelda%20Oracle%20of%20Ages%20-%20Manual%2007%2009.jpg
リンクの冒険 (FDS) 全クリア (ノーデス): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBsZTae_TTo&t=4003s
The Adventure of Link Winning Guide: https://archive.org/details/zines_zelda_famimaga_1987_aol_guide_600dpi/page/16/mode/2up
LoZ lore because you asked 1: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gF3KRcwD3pU
Zelda no Densetsu: The Hyrule Fantasy - FDS - No Commentary Playthrough: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-aYJyHgCy0
The Hyrule Fantasy: The Legend of Zelda Japanese Game Manual: https://archive.org/details/booklet_loz_jp/page/n19/mode/2up
#legend of zelda#zelda 2#adventure of link#long post#let me know any errors and I will fix them!! Peer review would be lovely.#yes this is what I have been up to since I've been away lol#this is why I don't allow myself to do heavy *historical* research; I always flip out over the littlest of detail and get so incredibly#sidetracked. I had to have a conference with my history prof last year because I was so stressed that there wasn't a straight answer???#broke my brain lol. which is weird because I deal with more squishy and interpretable stuff anyways? Its just different when there#technically is a correct answer. which is why I'm not a history major or something.#I read that manual wayyyy too much. I can identify on sight when people get some part of it wrong though. Useless skill that does nothing#for me. haha. I need to replay aol...
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Ameebs 10 year redraw 2024 vs 2014.
The character himself is about 18 years old though (middle school). Somehow the name Ameba stuck so I just call him Ame now. Or Ameebs. I have done much research into Chinese names for him, but nothing has stuck. The greek root word amoibē means 'a change,' named for his more unsteady physical form.
#as always drawing plant arms is so so fun#my art#my ocs#art redraw#illustration#ft ame#i have considered giving the plants names that are numbers but that also hasn't stuck#it's hard because they're man made creations.. so their name would be either committee picked or picked by an invested researcher#i just wound up going with curtains isntead of whatever was the background of the older pic#kung fu microbe -> kung fu plant. i do miss him having a nucleolus still sometimes#i heard somewhere that in china you can commission a professional namer to help come up with baby names with meanings#and i can believe it... because for many of my character names I go by root words and references
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If you get an ask from Tumblr user @06679799 saying they need financial support to help their family escape Gaza,
DO NOT CLICK THE LINK
It's a scam.
The blog claims to be Yousef Hussein and says they need financial help to get their family out of Gaza, however, the real Yousef is a humanitarian who lives in Illinois and is trying to help people in Gaza.
The link they provide in their blog's description does not go to the GoFundMe page, it's not even a correctly formatted link. The link they provide is gofund.me -- this is fake. This is a scam link.
They're sending this ask to anyone and everyone.
DO NOT CLICK THE LINK.
If you want to help the family and help evacuate young Kareem & Carmen from Gaza, the real page is https://www.gofundme.com/f/YousefHussein?qid=4940ab33f07c65ad6f42e6748aabb646
Or you can look up the fundraiser through GoFundMe.
#this is disgusting#absolutely despicable#i don't know how people can use other people's pain to profit#don't click the link#stay safe#always do your research#or go the long way around to find fundraiser pages#gaza#help for gaza#free gaza#free palestine#palestine#kareem and carmen#kareem & carmen#gofundme#scam#scam link#psa#please spead the word
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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#can people please stop calling oliver stark straight lmao#like i'm not even saying he's for sure not but it is very weird to assume that he is just because you're like. mad at him or whatever.#he has always talked about bisexuality with more care and understanding and respect than is typical of a straight person#which is not to say he definitely is or isn't whatever; but i'm saying he seems to Get It on some level#whether that's from personal experience or character research i obviously have no idea but neither do you#and 'straight until proven otherwise' is an extremely lame way to behave. anyway. people who do this are lame.
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