#I call people bitch and piece of shit as a term of endearment

[emilythezeldafan]

he may be a piece of shit, but he's my emotional support piece of shit, sir

[chrisevansjellybeans]

Ransom x fem!Reader

Warnings: none (yet) some swearing

Part One

You’ve never wanted to punch somebody in the face so bad until you met Ransom Drysdale. The smug, arrogant, jerk-face had been a thorn in your side since grade school. You both grew up in the Boston area, your parents sending you to the same private schools all the way through high school. You had run in similar crowds but no matter how much your mutual friends tried to get the two of you to get along you never could. For good reason though.

Your family owned and operated Cloak and Dagger Publishing, the direct rival of Ransom’s family’s publishing house, Blood Like Wine. Unlike you and Ransom, your families liked to keep the rivalry in business and not in life. Your father, Jackson Y/L/N and Harlan Thrombey were actually great friends who just liked to rib each other when it came to business, but were proud of the other’s success regardless.

But for some reason you and Ransom could never get to that level of friendship. And you weren’t in any rush to fix that.

Especially when he was pulling shit like this.

You groaned as you opened the door to your office only to see the smirking son of a bitch sitting in your chair, feet propped up on the desk and your favorite fountain pen twirling between his fingers.

“Maria, you’re fired.” You joked to your assistant who nervously looked at you from her desk right outside your door.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N! He just-”

“It’s fine. I know.” You sighed before walking fully into your office, letting the door close behind you.

“Good morning, honey.” Ransom’s voice was sickly sweet.

“Is it?” You snapped. You walked around your desk and pushed his feet off. “Get up.”

“You’re not being very kind to your guest, Y/N. What would dear daddy say about your terrible manners?” Ransom teased but stood up nonetheless. You glared up at him as he stood to his full height.

“Guests are usually wanted and invited, Ransom. Neither of which you are.”

“Honey, you hurt me.” Ransom feigned pain as he gripped his chest. You wanted to stomp your expensive Manolo Blahniks on his toes every time he called you that. It started your junior year of high school and maybe if it was anyone else you would have thought it was a term of endearment but he said it in such a condescending tone you knew it was anything but.

“What do you want, Drysdale?” You let out an exasperated breath.

“Is it so hard to believe that I just wanted to visit an old friend?”

“Ransom, please. Unlike some people I actually have work to do.” You moved around him and sat down, pulling out your laptop. You looked up at him as he watched you with intense blue eyes that made your stomach flutter, annoyingly so.

“I’m actually here for business and not pleasure, honey.” He smirked as he sat down at the chair across from you. “I’m here to formally and personally invite you to Bleeding Hearts.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Bleeding Hearts was the Thrombey annual charity gala that they hosted at Harlan’s expansive, hidden mansion. Your parents had been going every year since Harlan first hosted it and you had started going about five years ago. You would never tell Ransom, but you loved Bleeding Hearts. It gave you an excuse to wear a beautiful ball gown-albeit rented-and to feel like a beautiful princess like the ones you had read about growing up. Harlan always hired a full orchestra to play the most beautiful classical pieces throughout the night and it was like stepping into a time machine. You didn’t understand why Ransom had to come all the way down to your office just to invite you to something that you were already going to.

“I’ve already had Maria send in my RSVP and donation, Ransom. So thank you for the courtesy, but it really wasn’t needed.” You rubbed at your temples, a tension headache now forming from all this ‘excitement’ so early in the morning. And before you’ve even had a sip of your coffee.

“I know. And you gave a nice amount this year. Did daddy finally up your monthly allowance?” He smirked.

Just one punch. Just one and then I’ll be satisfied. Technically he’s trespassing, it could be called self defense.

“Goodbye, Ransom.” You blocked him out as you opened your email and began typing away. You got about two sentences out before you felt your laptop being shut against your hands.

“I wasn’t done.” Ransom whispered, you didn’t realize how close he was until you looked up. He was now leaning over your desk, one hand on your laptop and one hand on the edge of the desk closest to you.

“Shame.”

“I’m here to ask if you wanted to come...as my date.” You snorted out a laugh and laughed even harder as a look of annoyance crossed over his face. He stood up and straightened out his shirt almost nervously.

“God, you’re funny. Now please leave. You’ve already wasted so much of my time with this little joke.” You rolled your eyes as you opened your laptop again.

“I wasn’t kidding, Y/N.” His words were sharp and his eyes blazing.

“Neither was I. Get out of my office, Ransom. Or I will call security.” You glared right back at him.

Ransom looked like he was about to say something but decided against it. He tapped his fingers against your desk and gave you a mock salute.

“See ya around, honey.”

“Close the door on your way out.” You muttered.

You clenched your fists as he left your office, leaving your door wide open. You could hear him laughing his ass all the way down the hall.

Damn you, Ransom Drysdale.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. He just kind of walked in.” Maria rushed into your office, almost tripping over her far too high heels.

“Ria, it’s fine. I know how he is.” You waved her off, giving her a sympathetic smile. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…” she said nervously. When you gave her another reassuring smile she relaxed her shoulders. “I have to say though, he is really sexy.”

“Maria.” You sighed. “Get out.”

“Sorry.” She squeaked before exiting your office, closing the door fully.

You leaned back in your chair and let out a long breath. How had today already been the longest day and it wasn’t even nine?

“Good afternoon, sweetheart.”

“Good afternoon, dad.” You smiled as your father snuck his way into your office.

You and your dad had always been close. When you were younger he called you his “little shadow” because you loved to follow him around throughout his day. You would sit in on meetings and you loved when he would let you pretend to lead the team briefings in the morning. It was only natural that you would follow in his footsteps and work for Cloak and Dagger.

Your father always pushed you to be your best. He didn’t let you take shortcuts to get where you were today in the company. You worked your way up and proved your worth and made your father proud.

“What’s this I hear of Ransom Drysdale stopping in this morning?” He sat down across from you.

You rolled your eyes. “Because he doesn’t have anything better to do than irritate me.”

Your father laughed as he slid in his glasses up to the top of his head and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “You two have been fighting like cats and dogs since you were kids. Will this feud between the two of you ever end? And can it be soon? I made a bet with Harlan that you two would finally stop by the time you were twenty-five.”

“Glad to see that my torture has been amusement for you and your little buddy.”

“Just teasing, sugar plum.”

“Please, let’s talk about anything else besides Ransom Drysdale. I’m begging you.” You gave him a warning look over the top of your computer.

“Fine by me.” He clapped his hands together and leaned forward. “How’s it going with Brooke Archer? Has she committed to C&D yet?”

Brooke Archer was an upcoming mystery novelist. Critics called her “the Agatha Cristie of our time” and rightfully so. You had read her first two novels and finished them within a day, completely entranced by her style of writing that had you guessing till the end. She was notoriously self-publishing but now that her books were blowing up she had finally made the decision to sign with a major publishing house. And your father had tasked you with landing her.

“I have a lunch meeting with her tomorrow. I think this could be the closing meeting.” You said confidently.

“Good. I’m proud of you, sugar plum.” He tapped his fingers on your desk. “And please text your mother back. She’s freaking out over what to make for dinner tonight.”

Confused, you pulled your phone out of your bag. You sighed when you saw that you had thirteen missed texts from your lovable but definitely eccentric mother.

“You’d think she’d know what I like by now.” You joked.

“What can I say, she’s a perfectionist.” You dad laughed before saying goodbye and exiting your office.

As you were typing out a response your phone dinged with a new message.

I hope you’re thinking about my proposal from earlier. Wasn’t kidding around this time honey.

Your thumbs hovered over the screen. How the hell had Ransom even gotten your number?

And like I said earlier, neither was I. The answer is no.

He responded only seconds later:

No ugly colors, don’t want to clash with my suit.

You had to give it to him, the man had tenacity.

You’re annoying.

Ransom only responded with a winky face. You shook your head as you exited his chat and went back to responding to your mother, barely noticing the smile that was covering your face thinking of that annoyingly handsome pain in your ass.

[ahtsumu]

what your haikyuu!! fave says about you

hinata: wholesome; there’s something pretty big standing in the way of your current goals that you hope to overcome; you send those heart memes into group chats; your life motto is to have courage and be kind; aka you are a hufflepuff; you tend to stan/identify with protagonists; aka your favourite harry potter character is deadass harry potter (… or neville)

kageyama: you want to be a bad bitch; you started drinking cow juice milk out of a little box with a straw bc you saw that kags does; wildin’ online but you’re a lil shy irl; “little shit” is one of your favourite insults/terms of endearment; you refuse to play any position other than setter for pickup games

tanaka: wack af; don’t know how to use your inside voice; short temper but usually very sweet; you like walking around barefoot; you have a pretty sick party trick–– probably something physical and reckless, like a headstand LMAO; high alcohol tolerance

nishinoya: also wack but you’re short so you’re even weirder; you probably play libero on your volleyball team; you’ve tried copying the rolling thunder move and your first attempt was also your last

tsukishima: all your faves are tsunderes; dry af sense of humour; probably spends an unhealthy amount of time on reddit; people who know you irl call you a troll; definitely a complainer; hate-watch reality tv shows; people ask if you’re anemic/sick/tired a lot–– you’re probably not, you just never sleep; drinks too much caffeine

kuroo: thirsty

kenma: you play(ed) at least one of the following: legend of zelda, any final fantasy, the elder scrolls, fallout; you wear thick-frame glasses; cat-person; you’ve dyed your hair before; probably watch(ed) danisnotonfire and pewdiepie; definitely went through an emo phase or is currently going through one; you like “smol” things

bokuto: life of the party; you may be a little self-centred/vain but you milk the shit out of it for comedic purposes; you know your way around a grill; VERY COMPETITIVE; you listen to nicki minaj and cardi b unironically; probably lowkey famous on twitter for memes; definitely know too many tiktok dances

akaashi: pretty boys are the bane of your existence; you definitely draw or make art of some sort; you do well in school and have “intellectual” interests; pink is one of your favourite colours; soft aesthetic; you watch yuri!!! on ice; you either can’t stop cursing or struggle to say “fuck” irl; you want to start a bujo or you currently keep one

atsumu: you were originally an oikawa stan but you switched lanes when he said that fucking goody two shoes line because his voice is pure sex; you text with HAHAHA instead of 😂; probably curse like a sailor; you flirt by comparing hand sizes; you have a sweet tooth; active on twitter; a little self-centred; you laugh at fail compilations

osamu: atsumu was too much of a dick, immature, or cocky; you’re drawn to quiet people; most if not all your interests revolve around food; you intentionally root for the underdog in most movies/books; not very competitive, you prefer to just go with the flow; you can relate to being in someone else’s shadow; you probably stan loki over thor too oh my god you do don’t you

oikawa: your fave fic genre is angst; hoe for astrology, sci-fi, and crystals/palm reading; you’ve probably gone through a HELLA rough patch in your life (possibly depression); you like writing and probably have written an in-depth character analysis about him; you struggle with finding balance in your life; you get played by fuckboys irl but you never learn bc they’re just so hot

iwaizumi: you know an oikawa irl; you also watch free! but not for the plot 👀; your favourite fanfiction trope is enemies to lovers; you flirt by being mean to your crush; probably a beast at arm-wrestling; you’re physically strong but might not seem like it; owner of a resting bitch face for sure

terushima: two words: tongue piercing

ushijima: very slim chance you have crackhead energy; you’re ambitious and tend to stan powerful/successful characters; most likely also “gifted” with some sort of talent or skill–– and you’re damn good at whatever it is; one of your hobbies is a sport; you’re doing well at school; people say you’re a chill person; definitely have a thing for his thighs; you want ushijima to r u i n you

tendou: you watch at least one of the following: hunter x hunter, one piece, naruto, or bleach; unconventional-looking or ugly anime characters are your type; massive fucking troll; you openly thirst on main; you shitpost on your main instagram; you fear nothing, god fears you

semi: be honest you just like anime boys with silver hair

[sunlight-moonrise]

The Price (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Reader is a technical analyst for the BAU. She did not expect to be smitten by the resident genius. 

A/N: This is my first time writing a fic as well as my first time writing smut. I’d like to thank @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​ for beta reading my work (you’re a gem and I’ll fight for you). Also a quick thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins​ and those in the discord for being so welcoming and helping me with this. The fic is inspired by @erin-bo-berin​ Sweet Cheeks. 

Category: Fluff and Smut

Content Warnings: Oral (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, rough sex

Word Count: 6.0K

Masterlist

There are a lot of things I enjoy about this job. The salary is decent. My coworkers are pretty cool. I get to interact with a sexy genius from time to time- you know, the usual that comes with being employed by the government.

I started as a technical analyst for the BAU a few months prior, working alongside the one and only Penelope Garcia with assisting the rest of the team behind some computer screens. Coding and hacking is second nature to me so the job is not too difficult. It was either this or facing some years in jail because I couldn’t cover my tracks fast enough. Looking at mangled and mutilated bodies on a weekly basis is better than prison.

I get along rather well with the team. I pretty much call everyone by a term of endearment, much to Garcia’s delight. It was one of the things we had in common and helped us get along with one another much faster. I sometimes can get carried away with the innuendos, but Garcia welcomes everything I say with open arms.

I typically save my more sensual remarks for the doctor. I remember the good old days when he used to be so tongue-tied by my actions. Now my words barely surprises him.

A voice broke my concentration. “What got you thinking so hard, angel?” I turn towards the person, a smile already adorning my face. Lo and behold, Dr. Spencer Reid has graced me with his delectable presence.

“Would you believe me if I said that I was thinking of you Doc?” He had a small smile on his face. I could pretty much categorize all the smiles he uses because of how often I stare at him. I mean, it is a tragedy to not stare at such beauty. This particular smile means that he is content and comfortable.

“May I ask exactly what it was that you were thinking about?” he asked. 

“I cannot share the sordid details of my mind with you just yet darling. You’ll just have to use that beautiful mind of yours and conjure up something imaginative.”

He let out a small laugh and helped me carry the files I was juggling. My eyes immediately went to his hands. The things I’ll let those hands do to me. I bet only one is needed to perfectly wrap around my -- No bitch, focus. We got a case to present in five minutes. Right, right. Work now, daydream later.

We entered the conference room, where the rest of the team was already sitting at the round table, waiting for us. I gave out the files with Spencer’s help while Penelope started up the monitor.

“You guys are staying local but time is of the essence” she informed us. The TV lit up with four pictures of young boys. “We have a kidnapping case at Stafford County.”

“Were they kidnapped at the same time or place?” asked JJ as she skimmed over the report I handed out earlier.

“No” I said as I pointed to the two younger boys on the screen. “Jacob Rivers and David Hall were taken from their respective homes 48 hours ago” I then pointed to the two slightly older boys “Benjamin Harris was taken 12 hours ago at a park and Scott Turner was taken from the mall less than 6 hours ago.”

“Do these boys have anything in common?” Morgan asked out loud.

“Other than physical appearance and age group, these boys don’t have any similarities. They didn’t even go to the same school. As a matter of fact, David Hall was home-schooled.” replied Garcia.

“Garcia and I couldn’t find any common ground in the families’ educational, economic, or social backgrounds either” I added. “Once you guys take off, we’ll do a further dive into their personal histories.”

“The UnSub is already escalating, kidnapping from a private home and kidnapping from a crowded area within hours of each event is fairly drastic” Rossi stated.

“Maybe the Unsub is on a time frame? They could be feeling pressured and desperate” Emily questioned, trying to come up with some kind of initial profile.

Hotch already started standing up. “We’ll know more after analyzing the crime scenes and talking to local PD. Let’s head out.” The rest of the team followed, gathering their files and making an exit towards the door while Garcia headed for our office. Spencer lagged behind a bit and I already knew why. We have a little tradition of bidding farewell to one another before he takes off for a case.

I stood next to him, bumping my shoulder against his upper arm. “Don’t miss me too much while you are out there.”

“The more you remind me I have to leave, the more I want to stay here.” he grinned.

I snorted at his words, knowing that he was full of shit. There is nothing more that Reid loves than being out in the field. “Go be a hero and come back to me in one piece pretty boy.”

“Yes Ma’am.” he replied as he went to follow the team towards the elevator.

I swear that boy is immune to my teasing now. I miss seeing his face become flush, but I also enjoy the playful repartee we have now. I remember the first interaction I had with Spencer quite vividly. It truly was a comical moment.

 “Everyone this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She will be working alongside Garcia.” Hotch stated as he introduced me to the team. I have already met him and Penelope prior to being presented to everyone else.

“Derek Morgan, pleasure to meet you.” Whoa. If tall, dark, and handsome was a person, Morgan would be fit for the role. He offered his hand, which I immediately took.

“The pleasure is all mine” I replied with a wide smile.

I directed my attention to a much older gentleman. “David Rossi” said the Italian man who reminded me of a mob boss.

“Charmed to meet you.” I shook his hand, surprised by the strength behind it. Those older bones are still working for him.

Next came the petite blonde, whose figure I was both envious and enamored with. “Jennifer Jareau, but everyone here calls me JJ for short.”

“In that case, please call me (Y/N/N).” I shook her hand, and became even more envious with how soft her skin was. She has got to tell me her secrets.

I focused on the brunette with shoulder-length hair. “Emily Prentiss”. My God, I think being attractive is a requirement for this team. She offered her hand to shake and her grip was firm. Note to self, forget about Rossi; don’t get on Emily’s bad side.

“Nice to meet you.”

I turned to the final individual and was blown away by his beauty. Yup, my previous thought has been confirmed. Only good-looking people are allowed pass these doors. His bone structure looked like it was sculpted by Roman artists. His body was lean and slender, reminding me of a runner’s physique. My eyes stared up to the softest hazel eyes I have ever seen.

“Dr. Spencer Reid.” he introduced. I offered my hand immediately, wanting to feel his skin against mine.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), but you already knew that,” I said softly, my hand still out. He just stared at it as if it was an anomaly.

“Uh-the amount of pathogens passed through a handshake is astounding. A high five transmit half the number. But even then, a kiss is much more safe.” he quickly stated as he nodded his head. I almost didn’t catch any of it. Partially because of the rapid speech, partially because I was staring at his lips.

“Hmm, that’s news to me. However, if a kiss is what you want…” I lowered my hand and took a step closer to him. My eyes slowly moved from his eyes to his mouth and then back up. He took a slight step back.

“N-N-No, that’s not—I-I mean that —uhh...” His face was flushed and his tongue shot out to run against his lips. His eyes quickly darted across the room, seeking some help. I felt a sense of pride knowing I made this man flustered.

“I’m just teasing Doc.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was frightened by me. Maybe he was, but the blush on his face and the way he kept staring gave me further information on him.

“Don’t mind Reid,” Morgan said, coming to the young man’s rescue. “He has a thing with germs.” He finished, a smirk plastered on his face. Well, I hope he soon develops a thing for something else. Or rather someone else.  

I was just about to make another sly comment when Hotch interrupted. “Back to the case at hand.” He gave us all a pointed look. Right, I am at my first day at work. I’ll focus on hot doctors with hotter smiles and the hottest face at my own time.

“Yes sir,” Garcia stated, as she started pushing buttons on a remote. The TV turned on and pictures of three different women showed up on the screen. They all looked to be strangled to death. “You guys are needed in Toledo, Ohio.” Garcia goes on to describe the case while the team starts the early stages of conducting a profile.

“Wheels up in 30.” Hotch says and the everyone disperses. Garcia walked up to me and handed me some documents from the case file.

“C’mon cupcake, we gotta do some preliminary work to get the case going much faster.” I followed her to what she called the “bat cave”. I scanned the small room and immediately fell in love. Computers and monitors littered almost every inch of the place. I saw a lot of colorful knickknacks displayed on one side of the desk, knowing already who they belonged to. The area was endearing and had a cozy feel to it.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding. This place is a dream come true.” I am sure she can hear the awe in my voice.

“I know, right. Wait until you actually use it girlie, the framework on these things is out of this world.” I sat myself on a chair nearby and rolled in front of a screen.

“Alrighty. You can do some background checks on these girls while I gather more information from the police reports. Let me know if there are any commonalities among any of them. We’ll relay that info with the team.”

“Gotcha babe, I’ll have the information ready ASAP.” I responded, already typing away on the computer. I’m already starting to like it here.

*Later that day*

Garcia and I haven’t found much in common between the victims of the crimes, much to our dismay. I was left in the office to continue searching for important information on the girls while she went to fax some data to the precinct when the phone started to ring.

I quickly answered and put it on speaker. “(Y/L/N) at your humble service. How may I serve you?”

“Oh-uh is Garcia around” replied a high-pitched voice, which I immediately recognized as Reid. I don’t know whether or not I should be insulted that he wanted Penelope or pleased that I probably still have him flustered.

“She’s a bit pre-occupied at the moment. But rest assured I can find whatever you need Doc. Especially if you ask nicely.”

“Uh-I need you to pull up information on the mothers. We think they were all in the same sorority, however not necessarily at the same time. We need a list of all the members of the sorority from the time the mothers joined with a 3-year pre- and post-graduation.”

“No problemo sweetness. Anything else I can do for you? I have a lot of other services that can be helpful.” I stated, a teasing tone in my voice as I already set up my search.

“No-no, that’s all. Um thanks.” I can already picture the blush coating his cheeks as he stammered his response.

“Alright love, call me back if you need anything. Or if you change your mind.” I hung up the phone and started organizing the list in front of me.

 And from then on, I have enjoyed pretty much all the moments I had with the BAU. It took some time, but Spencer now has accepted and even returned my little flirtations.  We often get compared to Garcia and Morgan. But with a lot more sexual tension, at least on my end. I have to remind myself from time to time to calm down before I combust in the middle of a conference room or the bullpen. C'est la vie.

I made my way to the cavern of all things amazing and settled in front of my computers. Pen looked at me with a knowing expression on her face. “You’re gloomy.”

I pouted as I put my earpiece on. “I am not gloomy, I am horny,” I rebuked.

“How long has it been since you got some?”

“I’m not sure but it feels like I have not gotten any since the Stone Age,” I groaned out.

“I don’t know why you don’t just tell him how you feel,” she pointed her pink glittery pen in my direction, “I bet he would fuck you right here if you let him.”

And there goes my thought process, as always, overtaken by Spencer Reid. “Babe, please. This is not helping my situation.”

“Just telling you how it is.”

●●●

We have been sitting in front of these screens for hours. The team has made some progress but they’re missing an important piece to fit the puzzle. Garcia has been looking into the background of the neighbors when I heard a small stomach grumble coming from her direction. I let out a laugh as she huffed out “I am going to grab a snack from the breakroom, you want anything boo?”

“If it ain’t alcohol or chocolate, I don’t want it.”

“Noted,” she said as she left the room. I really hope she finds a couple of cupcakes or something.

I continued trying to get information on these missing kids when my headpiece played the Doctor Who theme song, informing me that Einstein was calling in. “Goddess of knowledge and wisdom at your disposal.”

“I didn’t know I had Athena at my fingertips.” How is it possible that nine words have short-circuited my brain just now? Is it the voice or the way he basically called me a Greek Deity? Probably both.

Of course I slyly responded, “Oh my Hephaestus, you have all of me at your fingertips.” I heard a chuckle and I immediately knew it belonged to Morgan. A slight blush crept onto my cheeks when I heard a random voice asking why Spencer called his girlfriend in the middle of a case.

“I should have mentioned that you were on speakerphone.”

“Naughty boy, you know I charge extra for groups.” Now this was followed by some choked out noises and a bunch of giggles. I could only assume the whole precinct was amused by my antics at this point. 

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“I can, for a price.”

“A price?”

“Yes, a price that I would inform you of in private. Now the reason for your call…” I drew out. Thank goodness Garcia wasn’t here. I don’t need her looking at me as if I am a phone sex operator.

“I need you to check foster children between the ages of four and eight within a 25-mile radius. We are looking for a homosexual couple that were looking to adopt but were rejected. The names should be on multiple applications among different sites. Let me know what you find.”

“I’ll have that information at the palm of your hands soon” Meanwhile, I am over here wishing that I was at the palm of his hands.

“Thank you, my Goddess” I can’t help but smile when he says things like this. Since when were the roles reversed in our friendship?

“Anything for a gorgeous worshipper. TTYL.”

Garcia chose that moment to walk back in while I had this silly grin on my face. She stared at me and I already knew what she was going to say.

“If you don’t have a piece of chocolate or a cocktail on you, I am not talking.”

All she did was laugh at me.

●●●

The team was able to find all four boys safely. The UnSubs were a male couple who wanted to adopt but kept facing discrimination against the agencies. It is a shame that they felt they had to resort to kidnapping in order to have a family.

Now Garcia and I are scanning the notes the team faxed to us earlier today. They informed us that they would be back here in half an hour or so.

“Shoot, I didn’t think it would take this long to scan these damn files.” Garcia murmured.  I looked over at her and saw a small stack of documents that still needed to be put into the system.

I walked over and grabbed the pile from her. “Go, I’ll take care of it from here doll.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad. You did your portion of the work already.”

“Don’t you have to be at the rehearsal in 20 minutes? How is the theater going to operate without their main lead?” I placed the documents on my side of the desk and moved to gather Garcia’s belongings.  I picked up her purse and jacket before handing it to her, quickly pushing her towards the door. “I got this, think of it as an IOU.”

“Yes, yes, yes, I owe you big. Thank you sugar, see you tomorrow.” Garcia hurriedly exited the door and headed towards the elevator. 

I looked towards the papers, a low groan leaving my mouth. The faster I go through this, the better.

●●●

I was just finished implementing all the documents into the computer when I heard a knock at the door. I turned around and saw Spencer’s head peeking through. “Evening handsome, to what do I owe this visit?”

“Garcia passed by me a while ago and informed me you were in here finishing some extra work. I wanted to check on you; see if you needed my help.”

“Thanks Doc, but you’re a few minutes too late. I already finished scanning the files. Besides, you’re not the best with technology, much less these computers.”

“Maybe not. But I am a fast learner and I pay close attention to detail.” Either my ears were playing a trick on me or Spencer’s voice lowered an octave or two.

I remembered what Penelope said earlier today and decided to just go for it. “I could collect on that price from earlier.” I leaned against the desk and stared into his eyes. C’mon Doc, pick up the hint. Rather, pick me up instead.

“Well I was thinking that I can get you dinner.” he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.

That’s great, but not what I had in mind. “I was hoping for something else” I looked into his eyes, then slowly trailed my eyes downwards. Kiss me. Kiss me. Touch me. Lick me. Fuck me. Kiss me.

Unfortunately, Spencer is not a mind reader. He lowered his head and looked slightly dejected. “Oh well umm—would you prefer to go to a theater?” Oh Doc, you sexy, naïve, intelligent, innocent man. I guess if you want something you have to do it yourself.

I sat on the edge of my desk. “Come here Spencer.”

His head perked up, slightly intrigued since I rarely call him by his name. He walked to where I was sitting but there was still space between us.

“Closer, I don’t bite.” Unless you want me to.

He moved closer to me and I was able to rest my hands on his shoulders. Thankfully the height of the table let us be more at level with one another.

I made sure to look into his eyes as I said “I am going to kiss you. If that isn’t something you want, tell me now.”

He was speechless. His mouth was moving but no sounds came out. If the circumstances were different I would have appreciated seeing his rattled expression once more. I waited a few seconds, but he still has yet to say anything.

“Spen-mmh” before I knew it, his mouth was upon mine. He gently cradled my face as his lips moved against my own. My eyes closed as I felt nothing but bliss. As cliché as it sounds, I was in paradise because of this kiss alone.

His tongue peeked and swiped against my lower lip, trying to have a taste of me. I was more than happy to grant him entrance, a moan leaving my body as his tongue touched mine.

All parts of me were trying to feel him. I had one hand in his hair while the other grabbed onto the back of his shirt. My chest was pressed against his while my legs lazily wrapped around his midsection. His scent was intoxicating to me. It was a coffee-like smell as if he just walked out of a café. He tasted so sweet, all I wanted to do was keep his mouth on mine. But my body needed air so I slowly pulled away.

He tried to catch his breath as his forehead rested against mine. “So you don’t want dinner?”

“Doc the only thing I am hungry for right now is you. We’ll get food afterward, alright?” Spencer nodded his head while licking his lips. My eyes hungrily followed the action and I just had to get another taste. I pulled him towards me, his hands once again holding onto my face. He was much more dominant with this kiss, and I was more than willing to give him the control. His hands then trailed down to my hips and pulled me closer to his pelvis. I jerked against him and was rewarded with a groan.

He squeezed me tighter as his lips broke away from mine once more. He placed a peck on my lips, then my cheek before trailing down my neck. I felt my body heat up as I released a small moan. Fucking hell, he is going to be the death of me and we barely did anything.

Spencer started to lightly nibble on my neck when I pulled him back by his hair. “It is summer and I am not wearing a turtleneck in 80° weather. If you’re gonna give me some hickeys, they better be on my chest.” He murmured something that I couldn’t quite comprehend before undoing the buttons of my blouse.

Hell, I am not the only one who is gonna be undressed so I started unbuttoning his dress shirt as well. It was a race to see who would get the other’s shirt off first. Of course I lost because my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. But when his warm lips kissed their way towards the middle of my cleavage, I felt like a fucking champion.

I tried my best to shimmy out of the sleeves of my blouse while Spencer attempted to take my bra off, his lips still leaving a love mark against my chest. Once we got rid of the shirt and the bra, his mouth immediately enveloped one of my nipples.

“Fuck” I yelped loudly, “a little warning next time Doc.”

“Sorry” he muttered as he continued to suck on my breast while palming the other between his dexterous fingers. That had to be the most insincere apology I have ever heard from him. An idea came across my head. I slowly removed his shirt, watching it pool on the floor. I then raked the nails of one hand across his chest while the other pulled against his hair. Hard. He retaliated by lightly biting my nipple. Fuck, the plan backfired. Abort mission, abort the damn mission.

Spencer let out a small chuckle as he pulled away from my breast, an audible pop leaving his mouth. My hands went to his face and I moved him up to look at me. His eyes were dilated and his mouth was swollen. His face was flush and he was taking deeper breaths than usual. He looked so beautiful like this.

He had a dorky smile on his face and I realized that I said the words out loud. I felt my face heat up fast and he swiftly commented “I’d never thought I’d see you be so thrown off because of me.”

He rested his hands against either side of the desk and just looked at me. “Shut up and kiss me.” I hissed, already missing the warmth of his skin against mine.

“Where do you want me to kiss you?” he asked. I was about to reply when he interrupted “Do you want me to kiss you on your lips? Or maybe you want me back on those beautiful breasts of yours?”

Have mercy on me, I never believed Spencer Reid could make me so wet just with his words. Sure, I thought of it, but I didn’t believe it would happen to me.

“Maybe you want me to go lower. Should I place my lips on that pussy of yours?” Oh my fuck, I never want this moment to end. I nodded my head so quickly, I could have sworn I given myself whiplash.

“I want to hear you say it,” he breathed out.

“Yes, yes, please. I want you to eat my pussy. Please.” I begged. Dignity be damned.

“That’s my good girl” How is it possible that he went from the dorky adorable doctor to this assertive, stimulating specimen in a matter of minutes? I didn’t think he had a sensual bone in his body. But I am glad to be proven wrong.

Spencer lowered himself to his knees while I clumsily attempted to rid myself of my skirt and panties. I lifted my lower body up as he pulled the clothing off of me. Penelope would have a field day if she knew that I was sitting butt naked on the desk with Spencer Reid between my legs. Hell, I am having a field day knowing this.

Spencer, being the teasing bastard that he has been for the past few minutes, started kissing my legs first. “That’s not where I said I wanted you to kiss me” I huffed out.

“Hush” was all he said as he continued the slow trail up, making sure to alternate between each leg. I was already breathing as if I have ran a marathon, my patience was waning at this point. Finally, he made his way to where I needed him most. He put his hands on my thighs and pushed them further apart.

My hands landed on top of his head, playing with the curls. “You’re comfortable down there Doc?” I snickered, loving the sight of his head between my legs. All he did was nip my inner thigh harshly. I shrieked at the action. I’m starting to think this man has a tiny biting fetish.

I wasn’t ready for when his tongue parted my folds. I squeaked as he teasingly lapped the arousal that had formed the second he walked into the room. I tried rolling my hips but his hands made me stay put on the desk. I never knew he could hold me down like this. I couldn’t even be mad because the pleasure he was giving me was incredible.

Spencer continued to tease me, his tongue never going where I needed it most. He made sure to explore as much as possible as leisurely as possible. “Spencer, please” I cried out. He let out a small hum, the vibration causing a shiver to rack my body.  

His tongue finally entered me, much to my delight. No amount of imagination could have ever prepared me for the things this appendage can do to me. He continued this soft, flat movement that was driving me crazy. My hands tightened in his hair, hoping he would go a bit faster.

“You taste so good princess, I don’t want this to end.”

“That’s my Queen to you” I jested. He didn’t like that since he responded with a resounding smack against my outer thigh. Ouch, note to self, Spencer doesn’t like being teased during sexy times. Hmm. On second thought, continue to tease Spencer during sexy times.

I felt his finger probe my entrance, moving up and down before pushing inside of me. I let out a distressing whine as he started slowly moving his finger in and out of me, curling as he did so. His mouth was on my clit, sucking and kissing it as if he has done so all his life.

My body started heating up and trembling. I tried, and failed, to roll my hips against the movement. “Spe-Spencer” I wailed. He didn’t relent.

Spencer entered a second finger into me as his tongue gave small, flickering motions against my bundle of nerves. I had to move one hand to my mouth to prevent any loud noises from being heard outside the room. Shit, did we even lock the door?

That thought immediately left my mind as my core started to tighten. Spencer must have known that I was getting close to my orgasm because he moved his fingers more diligently within me. I felt his fingers curl as they pulled out, I felt his tongue lick thoroughly against my pearl, I felt my ecstasy rising within me. It took one more deep press of his fingers and a harsh suck for me to come all over his face. I bit down on my fingers as I moaned out loud.

“That was so much better then what I imagined” I panted out, the words barely coming out comprehensible. I had a giant smile decorating my face.

He pulled his face up, a smug grin gracing his face. “Is this what you were thinking about earlier this morning?” he taunted. I couldn’t even give him a smartass remark because I was too busy trying to come back to reality. He pulled his fingers out and held them in front of my face.

“Open” he ordered. I complied and he pushed his fingers inside of my mouth. “You look so pretty when you follow instructions well. See how good you taste.”

I pulled my head back, taking his fingers out of my mouth. “I bet I taste a lot better on that tongue of yours.”

He tangled his hand in my hair and pulled me to a kiss. I immediately opened and welcomed his tongue against mine. I was right, I do taste better on him. I let out a deep moan and pulled away far enough to gently bite down on his lower lip.

He looks at me, that devilish tongue of his running against his lower lip before entering my mouth once again. With his lips still on mine, he picked me up and move to sit on my desk chair. It was nothing short of a miracle that we managed not to fall on the floor.

I placed my hand on top of his erection through his slacks and he drew a quick intake of breath. I started palming him as I grinded myself against him. I pulled back as I whispered, “I need you, Spencer”.

“Y’know this is the most I have heard you call me by my name in any given moment we have been together.” He unzipped his slacks and pushed down his pants and boxers as much as he could with me on top of him.

I looked down, finally being able to see his cock. Is it possible to get aroused further through sight alone? Because I think I creamed myself again. God, I wish I could show him my oral skills, but we’ll save that for another time.

“Would you rather I call you by something else?” I asked, attempting to move my lower body so that it can align with his cock. I say attempt because Spencer currently had his hands on my thighs again.

“No, I like the way my name sounds as you moan it out. Don’t hide your pleasure from me this time.” He maneuvered my legs to rest upon the armrest on either side of the chair, leaving my pussy wide open for him.

I gave him an incredulous look. “Are you forgetting that we are at work?”

He started rubbing the tip of his cock against my lower lips. “I didn’t forget. I just don’t fucking care.” And with that, he slowly penetrated me.

We both groaned at the intrusion. He gradually started entering me as I adjusted to his size. Inch by inch, he gave me all of him until he was buried to the hilt.  I took a moment to savor the feel of Spencer inside of me before I started grinding against him. He took that as a hint to begin thrusting.

He started slow, taking his time and having us enjoy the feeling of one another. “Your cunt is so fucking tight” he hissed into my ear and I gave out a loud whine.

“That’s because you have such a big cock, Doc” I managed to moan out. He smacked my ass before grabbing each cheek tightly in his hands. “I want you to call me by my name” he grits out.

“Spencer, baby please give it to me. I’ve been waiting for this Spencer, I’ve been waiting for you.” He started kissing my neck once more and my eyes started to closed. I wanted to focus on the pleasure he was giving me.

He tightly grabbed me, moving my hips along with his thrusts. I was close to being pushed over the edge once more. The only sounds occupying the room were our moans and skin smacking against skin as we chased our pleasure.

“Open your mouth” I heard him say. I opened my eyes to see his thumb positioned over my lips. I let out a small whimper as I sucked his digit earnestly. I made sure to coat his finger with a lot of saliva, knowing exactly what he was going to do with it when it was out of my mouth.

He pulled his thumb out and immediately placed it on my clit. I gave out an embarrassingly loud sob as he started moving his finger against me in soft circular motions. I placed my lips on his neck, trying to muffle the noise coming out of my throat.

Spencer quickly grabbed my hair and pulled my head away as he started to slow down. “How many times do I have to tell you that I want to hear your pleasure?” In that moment, Spencer controlled my mind, body, and soul.

“I’m sorry Spencer. I’ll be your good girl, please don’t stop.” He returned back to the previous pace and thrust into me even harder. We both started chasing our orgasms, not being able to hold back any longer. He was pounding into me relentlessly and I was loving it. I am sure that I am going to be sore after this.

“Come for me (Y/N), I want to feel this tight cunt squeeze around my cock.” Say less, I am already ahead of you. My eyes were rolling to the back of my head and I felt my pussy pulsate around him. With one last motion against his thumb, I cried out his name multiple times as I climaxed.  

Spencer whispered my name as he continued pushing into me, chasing his own orgasm. He thrust a couple more times before quickly pulling out, spilling himself over my stomach. I panted as I laid my head against the crook of his neck. His fingers thrummed a slow rhythm upon my lower back.

“So about that dinner... do you want to get Indian food?”

“Yeah, I can go for some samosas right now.”

[whimsicallyreading]

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

���Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

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[yuzukult]

i’m bad too 06 (m) || kdy & reader

title: i’m bad too - drabble series pairing: kim doyoung x reader genre: angst, fluff, smut, goodboy!doyoung, nerdy!dy (basically he’s a dork) & badgirl!reader, hitman!au, oc-isn’t-a-hitman-but-she-could-be!au, there’s just a lot of unspoken things happening here lol word count: 1.7k warnings: blowjob/handjob (lucky doyoung), sexual usage of ‘oppa’ lol don’t judge a/n: still tryna learn the correct jargon for warnings but this is a drabble so.... very minimal stuff here lmfao

please let me know if anyone wants to be tagged! taglist: @wownajaemin​​​ @crescent-iak​​​ @ncttboo​​​​ @byunbaekby​ ​​← previous chapter || next chapter →

Doyoung makes you watch an obscene amount of superhero movies. For clarification: Marvel-Cinematic-Universe-kind-of-movies. However, you barely complain. If it means more time with him, you’d even watch Sesame Street just to be in his arms. 

He doesn’t like to watch those movies where there’s a way deeper message hidden behind the plot. He lives for the action, sprinkle of comedy, and occasional love interest. But not a ton. Too much romance might set unrealistic expectations, according to him. 

Albeit you sort of think he still has a vastly different depiction of love in comparison to you.

For one, in this alternate universe where there’s villains and superheroes, you, without a doubt, are a villain. You’ve tried explaining to him that you fit the stereotype—the whole leather attire plus motorcycle really takes the cake, but he doesn’t even know what you’re up to half the time. In fact, almost every single event you’ve performed a task, you’d show up at his front doorstep, hands remaining dirty from a mission for the Boss, and he’d welcome you with open arms with no idea. 

Doyoung doesn’t even have an ounce of a clue what you do.

He’s such a nice guy. Girls practically eat that shit up when they meet him, often overlooking the fact that he holds so many great boyfriend qualities. When you’re sore from “work,” (he questions what you do all the time but you just shrug nonchalantly) he’d always slip off your socks, massage the soles of your feet and finish off the rest of your body with no resistance. He doesn’t expect anything in return—not even sex. Doyoung just gives and gives, nearly never taking.

On one side, you’re glad that most women don’t recognize how perfect of a significant other he is. It gives you time to figure yourself out; how do you become good enough for Kim Doyoung? You’ve already dropped smoking. You’ve been putting more effort in your studies, granted he is your tutor. And you’ve spent the majority of your free time with him. If you ever needed to review material, you’d do it with him, just to show how much you’re trying. 

Even if there isn’t a label for the two of you.

You’re friends—but you’re definitely more than just friends. You fuck, but you’re not just fuck buddies either. You’re exclusive but you’re not straightforwardly dating. Doyoung doesn’t hide the fact that he wants you to officially be his girlfriend, although he never forces the idea upon you. He’s content with the circumstances he’s under even though he hopes to have you be his and his only. Nonetheless, it’s under your terms and he never forgets to remind you that. 

Honestly, you thought that you might be okay with this. That is, until a pretty gal with shiny black hair, toned body, and gentle voice named Joy came into the picture.

Joy is a given nickname. Her actual birth name is Park Sooyoung, a name as beautiful as the beholder, but people had gotten into the habit of calling her Joy, since… well, she’s such a joy to be around. She’s part of the school’s cheerleading squad, called the ‘Red Velvet Queens,’ plus extremely involved with other extracurriculars, including the competitive tennis team that Doyoung is on. There’s a lot of bitches on the squad, especially with the encounters you’ve had with them, but Joy isn’t one of them. She’s an angel. She’s the woman version of Doyoung. 

Doyoung likes to wait outside in the parking lot, right in the unspoken designated spot where you leave your bike. You’ve offered him a ride to school since he often stands idly, except he politely declines, and you speculate that it’s from fear. He remains cute in your eyes despite being a bit of a wuss.

Today, however, he’s not alone. It’s a daily routine that the view of Doyoung leaves you breathless, heart pumping like you’ve gone running, but today is different. Your blood is boiling, smoke whistling out your ears like a kettle on a stove from the heat that lingers around your neck region. Joy stands beside him, the widest grin smacked across her cheeks, lips stained as red as her cheerleading uniform. You wobble on your bike into the parking spot, shutting off the engine before kicking out the stand, pulling the helmet off your head while obnoxiously chewing on a piece of gum in your mouth. 

Joy’s gaze meets yours.

She’s sweet, and none of this is her fault. But you kind of hate her presence right now, just because she’s got all of Doyoung’s attention. 

Spitting out the gum on the asphalt, you shuffle through your pockets for a toothpick. This stupid toothpick that you’re stuck with because you quit smoking cigarettes for that charming boy. Popping the wooden stick in your mouth, you rake your fingers through your greasy hair, slinging the backpack over your shoulders before walking past Doyoung. 

“Sorry, Joy, I’ll catch up with you later,” You hear faintly before his heavy footsteps are rushed, catching up with yours. “Hey-Hey! Where are you going? We’re supposed to meet here. Why didn’t you wait for me?”

You shrug. He’s not happy with that response.

Hand grasping on your shoulder, he halts you in your steps to turn you to face him. As much as you hate to admit it, but you feel this green-eyed monster gnawing on your insides and you’re not a fan of it. “What’s wrong? What did I do? Talk to me.”

“Nothing. I’m busy. You still wanna tutor me later or are you busy making plans with Joy?” You snarl, munching on the pick. Doyoung’s eyes lighten up; he knows the problem now. “Are you jealous?”

“That word isn’t in my dictionary.” It’s a blunt reply, and your unfazed stare is there to support it. “Why would I be jealous of a nice girl like Joy who wants to get with a good boy like you?”

Doyoung likes you, no matter how hard you try to push him away. Your dilemma before was that you always thought a guy like him, so generous, so kind, could never love someone with a charred heart like yours. And yet, here you are, evidently jealous of a girl practically his equal when he’s done nothing but proven to you that you’re the only one he sees.

You want more, and the longer you continue to deny and swallow these feelings, you’re even more desperate to be held by him. In the midst of a tutoring session, you’ve managed to unbutton his cute sky blue dress shirt, unzip his trousers and suddenly his dick is in your mouth.

“We’re supposed to review l-limits,” He stutters over a moan, fingers reaching to comb back your hair. “S-So I told her I couldn’t hang out with her today.”

“Mm,” You hum against the tip, tongue gliding down his shaft. “I heard you the first time.” His thighs tighten when your mouth envelopes down his dick to the base with his head thrown back in the chair of your bedroom. He’s glad that he noticed you take initiative to lock the door today since you often don’t, and the possibility of one of the staff members entering in while sucking on him is kinky but he’s still scared of your brother. 

Doyoung lets out a soft gasp when your tongue swipes over his slit where a pearly bead of precum sits. “S-Shouldn’t we— oh fuck—be reviewing materi—ohh?” He sighs; your hands are everywhere; it’s hard for him to focus on anything when you’re gazing up at him through your pretty long lashes with tinged pink cheeks from his cock hitting the back of your throat. He melts under your touch when you graze over his thighs, claiming the territory that he’s succumbed to you willingly. You kiss the head of his cock and he bucks into it. “We’re reviewing a different kind of material. Have you ever been sucked off by a girl before?”

He shakes his head ‘no’, looking down at you with hooded eyes. With his arousal still in your grip, it twitches, yearning for your attention. You hate to admit it, but you’ve obviously tainted his ‘good boy’ persona with him in your bedroom like this, but Doyoung doesn’t think that. Disheveled hair, mouth gaped open, and sweaty forehead is a view of him you engrain in your memory. 

Doyoung is a good boy, but he has a body of a bad boy. There’s no way that tennis is the reason behind those washboard abs, toned thighs, and built arms. He’s not as muscular in comparison to Johnny, nor his friend Lucas, but Doyoung is gorgeous like this, perfect in your eyes. 

That’s why when you moan around his girth and he sputters, you think he’s got a halo over his head. He’s so pretty, so gorgeous, and you want to see him in all types of forms. Your hand wraps at the base of his dick, mouth wrapping around the red and angry tip, it’s glistening with your saliva as you start pumping him at a pace that leaves his jaw slack, groans bouncing off your bedroom walls. 

“Baby,” He calls out the term of endearment raspily, heart racing and abs tightening. A familiar feeling stirs in his stomach, and he knows he’s about to combust. “I’m about to cum, I need a tissue, I—”

“Cum in my mouth, oppa,” You whisper, quickening your movements but calling him “oppa” is what snaps within him, ropes of cum shooting down your throat along with a string of curses and a breathy moan escapes from his lovely lips. 

“So,” Doyoung begins, fiddling with his fingers anxiously across the lunch table from you. “You called me ‘oppa’ the other day. That was uh… new. You’ve never called me that before.”

Tying your hair up in a bun with a bobby pin between your teeth, his cheeks flush pink at the thought of you giving him a blowjob in your bedroom the other day, his fingers streaking through those luscious locks, and him cuming in your mouth. Popping out the pin, you slide in to push back a short piece of hair. “Yeah, well, there was a reason for it. You know why.”

Doyoung blinks blankly, utterly confused. “I… don’t. W-Why’d you call me oppa?”

“So you wouldn’t get nervous and just let me swallow.”

[morwensteelsheen]

farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Proper Profanity.”

WARNING: Obviously this contains a lot of profanity, lol duh :) 

Hopefully it’s at least entertaining

Dr Krill was cleaning the infirmary.. He didn’t mind cleaning, it left his mind time to wander, to think more about the humans. Today he was thinking about linguistics and the complicated way in which humans spoke to each other. It was actually quite beautiful once you stopped being annoyed with it.

He had recently compiled a list of human idioms he found rather delightful. He especially liked ‘when I am ice skating in hell’ not only did it require knowledge of human theology, but also of human sports. Plus it was a great way to tell people no.

Made him want to wriggle a little inside when he thought about it.

Now that he had gotten the use of idioms. He was starting to think about the use of human exclamations. There were so many, he hardly knew where to start.

He was so distracted with his musings that he ended up knocking over a stack of bedpans. They fell to the floor with a clatter before spinning across the open ground.

He looked down and decided that this was the perfect opportunity to try out some of his new exclamations. He wasn’t entirely sure how they worked, but you didn’t get anywhere without trying, “Shit hat!”

He stared at the bedpans trying to determine what he was feeling at the moment.

He didn’t have long for his pondering as Dr. Katie poked her head out of her office. Behind her large square glasses she looked more than a little confused. Another head peered around the corner, and he was surprised to find the captain staring at him with a bemused expression. The door to the far end of the room slid open and a group of marines peered inside.

Hmm, perhaps he had done something wrong.

“Did you just say, shit hat?” Dr Katie wondered glancing between him and the captain.

“That’s what I heard.” he said stepping out from inside.

“Did I do something wrong?” krill wondered in bemusement.

The marines laughed, “What were you even trying to do/”

“I was trying to use an angry exclamation.” The doctor explained 

The captain walked over to sit on the edge of one of the beds staring at Krill with a critical eye, “Well, it was a good effort, but not exactly right.”

“What do you mean.”

The marines walked in to sit with them as did doctor Katie.

The captain shook his head, “Well Krill, you see cursing is a very delicate art, you can’t just throw them together like that. For instance what you were trying to say was likely either ust shit, or ass hat. You can’t just throw them together. Shit would have worked, but in this instance ass hat wouldn’t have.” 

“I do not understand.”

The captain cracked his knuckles, “I will demonstrate, let us first begin with the word ass

Ass/arse = your pretty much just calling them a donkey at this point

Ass hat = refers to a person who is usually stupid or annoying 

Ass wipe = a general insult for someone you don’t like 

Dumbass = an idiot

Asshole = someone who is mean or rude 

Smartass = can be a term of endearment, but otherwise it might be used as a term for someone who is sarcastic or a know it all 

Fatass = someone who eats a lot or is also fat 

Ass face = another general insult, but this is specifically an insult and a comparison on their face to someone’s butt.

So what you were doing doesn't exactly work because you  use ass hat is an insult for a person and not an exclamation.” 

He looked around at the others to make sure they agreed with him before continuing, “our next word is damn.

Damn = can be used as an exclamation of anger in general.

Daaaaaaaaammmnnn = is for general awe, like if I saw someone do something really cool.

Damnit = another exclamation of anger generally a bit higher than just damn 

God Damn it = is just a little higher than the previous two, but implies that you want the creator himself to come down and damn the thing that you are cursing.

As a general side note, you can use damn for inanimate objects.

Damn you = is similar but usually directed towards a person. The equivalent of telling someone to go to hell or flipping them the bird. 

Damn it all = We ramp it up a bit here. You just don’t want to damn the object, but you want to damn everything.

Damn it all to hell = see previous but more specific 

Hot Damn! = this is another good exclamation. You just saw something really cool or someone who is really hot, or something that you really want.

I don’t give a damn = is the fancy way of saying I don’t care.

Are you following me so far?”

Krill nodded eagerly doing his best to remember all of this on such short notice.

“Good, now we get onto another one which I am slightly less familiar but I will try

Bitch = used to mean a female dog, but now sort of means someone who is a coward or pathetic in some way.

Bitching = to complain 

Bitch ass = not entirely sure, but if i say to get your bitch ass over here, I don’t have respect for you, though it is often used as a term of endearment between women 

Bitchboy = calling someones masculinity into question

“Ok now we get to my favorite word shit, so beautifully versatile, but it means that you have to be careful because each one has a different connotation.

The noun Shit = literally means excrement but can be used as an exclamation of displeasure. It can also replace stuff or things. Like where’s my shit

To shit = a verb means to take a dump

The adjective shitty = means something really sucks

See, a little more versatile than before, now.

Shitter = a toilet or the location where the verb takes place

A shit = is exactly what it sounds like.

To take a shit = is the same as the verb 

I don’t give a shit = I don't care kind of like I don’t give a damn

I won't take this shit = means I am not going to put up with you 

Bullshit = information, generally a lie or something that is conflated or untrue 

Batshit = is a modifier to someone who is insane, it generally means they are really crazy

Shitthole = a place that is really horrible or dirty 

Shitstain = general insult for a person you hate

Shithead = see above

Shitfaced = really drunk

The shit = something or someone that is really good

Hot shit= same as the shit

You think you’re hot shit? = generally a challenge to someone who needs to get off their high horse.

A piece of shit = means you suck or your a lowlife 

Shitload = a lot of 

To lose your shit = to go crazy or get really mad

To be on someone’s shit list = means they don’t like you

My shit = it's mine my stuff my property

Your shit = your problems and I don’t want them 

Add an animal in the front  like chicken or horse to denote a situation or information that you don’t like. This is horse shit for example.

Shit hits the fan = things get real 

Shoot the shit = to talk with someone on a social level 

He knows his shit = means he’s smart on a certain topic 

You don’t know shit = you don’t know anything

To give someone shit = you .”mess with them or to give them a hard time

Dipshit = an idiot

I am honestly cutting back on the amount of uses in this situation because if we continued this, it might go on too long.

Kril leaned in a little, “how fascinating. I had no idea one word could be so diverse.”

The human leaned in, “Than you are going to love this next one 

Fuck = sort of an upper escalation of shit. I don't know if the noun means anything really but the verb technically means to do it.

Fuck that = I am not going to do that there is no way in hell 

Fuck you = I hate you go die 

Fuck it = might as well just do this thing regardless of the consequences 

Fuck me = an exclamation of annoyance. Kind of like how could my life get any worse. Generally used when things aren't going your way. Of course you could use it in it’s literal translation as a command form or a question.

Fuck it all = another exclamation kind of like damn it all 

Fuck this shit = generally a screw this thing or activity specifically 

Fuck this = see above but less intense 

Fuckery = like what kind of fuckery is this. A question used to ask about some sort of unsavory activity.

Fuck off = telling someone to leave or go away angrily.

Fucnking hell = just an exclamation

Fucking shit = also just an exclamation

Generally you can put fucking in front of any other curse word noun and you got yourself a good insult hell, damn et. etc 

Fuckwit = an idiot

Fuckface = general insult like shithead 

I dont give a fuck = i dont care

I dont give a flying fuck = i really don’t care

Thats fucked = that is screwed up 

Hes fucked = hes screwed as in a situation specifically

Lets get fucked up = lets go get drunk or high

Lets fuck him up = lets beat him up 

Well…. Fuck = an exclamation of distress 

A fuck ton = larger than a shitload 

If you get fucked over = you’ve been used or betrayed 

And the classic a motherfucker = sort of just a general term for someone, but I  want to say it definitely implies someone is having sex with their mom

Fucktard = an idiot. 

Krill looked on in fascination and delight, “Holy shit!”

The captain blinked and then grinned, “There you go, now you're getting it. Totally forgot about that one.” He patted Krill on the back, “Now go forth, be free in your newfound knowledge and the glorious art that is cursing properly. Make sure not to use it too much though or in certain types of company because it will either cause you problems or lose it’s power. Like for instance, don’t curse around my mother or she will kill me for teaching you. Don’t curse around superior officers unless they curse first, and even then try to avoid doing it too much. Got it.”

Krill nodded.

He was so excited to apply this new rule of human language

[megthemewlingquim]

  ❛   i want you. and the thought of anyone else having you is like a knife twist in my dark soul.   ❜   Bucky gets jealous of someone (Sam maybe) but he doesn't think he deserves the reader bc of his past? Followed by some very sweet smut?

Sugar, Sweetheart, Angel

Summary: Bucky can't help himself when it comes to you — especially when Sam's away with a girl.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: sweet... but not too explicit smut, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, corny poetry about jealousy, Bucky being shy but very, very loving

A/N: Hi, loves! Happy Kinktober. This is my DAY ONE entry. I promise, I will get into more explicit smut as the month goes on.

“Nah, go on, man. Have your fun.”

Mistake Number One.

He feels the regret immediately after the words slip out of his mouth, and it only worsens when he sees Sam go off with a girl — a dame — beside him. She’s beautiful, with chocolate skin and velvet eyes and long, braided hair.

But, in his lonesome state, he turns and sees you.

Dancing to the unrecognizable tune that’s pulsing through everyone at the club, lit up by neon purple, green and blue lights and a smile that literally glows in the dark.

Mistake Number Two. 

Because his eyes don’t leave your figure and his mouth doesn’t open and — of course — his pants have gotten much, much tighter. 

Hope rises within him, but it quickly fades.

You’ve been on Bucky’s mind for ages.

You started out as Sam’s friend, his partner in superhero work. No, you couldn’t fly or move things with your mind or control lightning and thunder, but you could hack into computers and software, and you could actually use a knife well. You met both Sam and Bucky after the war for the world, after he and Sam were dusted and you lost your boyfriend for five years. And of course, with no contact for that long, even if it’s not intentional, a relationship can crack and dissolve.

So you were a hardened, tough wreck, but one that was starting to pick up pieces and put yourself back together. You were starting to learn to love again, and to fight for what you loved and who you loved... which, when you started working with Sam, was only your family.

Bucky was completely awestruck when he saw you for the first time. He was reminded of all of the pretty dames from the 40′s, the ones with shorter hair and cherry red lipstick. You brought him back to his sergeant years....

And when you make eye contact with him for one, split second moment, even before his sergeant years.

And there he is.

The boy who grew up with very overprotective parents. The boy who was scared of growing up, the boy who was so shy around the fifth grade girls. And the sixth grade girls. And so on.

Bucky is transported back to those years, and all he can do is look at you.

You’re free, it seems. You’re liberated, you’re unhinged, as you dance and sway to the tune... which now seems to be a slower, more psychedelic song. (Sam taught him that word. Enter Pink Floyd.) Your arms lift and you look up, absolutely content and so in love with the music and the lights and...

Well, not with him. That’s for sure.

He sighs, going over to sit at a vacant table. It smells of beer, the aftermath of an arm wrestle from whoever sat there last. Lifting a hand up to scratch his stubble, he finally tears his eyes away from you; he does not want to seem creepy.

Mistake Number Three.

Because he does not see you come up to him, sit down on an empty chair beside him.

“See something you like, James?”

He shudders at the use of the name. Not that it’s a bad shudder — it’s just... it sounds lovely coming from your lips.

You must take it as a bad sign, because you look down at your shoes. “Sorry,” you mumble. “Sorry, Buck.”

His voice lifts a little. “No, sweetheart, it’s okay.” The term of endearment goes unnoticed by you. He’s used it with you so often, and even the first time you were numb to it. It fell on deaf ears, as it does now. “It’s okay. You can call me that... if you want to.”

He pauses. “I... I did see something I liked, by the way.”

“Oh, yeah?” Now it’s your voice that lifts. “And what was that?”

Either you’re really, really ignorant, or you’re doing it to be a tease and to piss him off. Bucky can’t tell.

“You.”

He says it bluntly. No hiding, no blushing, no nothing. Because he knows that you won’t think anything of it.

Not that you don’t like him back. You absolutely do. It’s just that you’ve been so hardened, so toughened, so numb to the fact that anyone might love you back, and Bucky knows it.

“Hm,” you mumble, “thank you.” It’s as sincere as you can make it sound, which isn’t very.

There’s an uncomfortable pause, one in which you’re both thinking the same thing.

“I want you,” he says, “and the thought of anyone else having you is like a knife twist in my dark soul.”

Every word from Bucky falls from his lips like weights. They drop, then they sit where they land. One lands on your shoe, the others land on the floor. He’s keeping eye contact with you, his gaze intense and... regretful? Introspective? Sincere? Sad?

You blink. And then you laugh.

Not at him, he quickly realizes.

“That’s some Billie Eilish type shit,” you giggle, “but that’s okay. I like her music... but hearing you say it is somehow much more corny.” You break off into more snickers. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You do mean the apology.

He’s a little hurt, but he expected it. He accepts the apology wordlessly.

“I’m serious,” he says, and then you shut the hell up. “Completely serious.” He lifts his hand up and points his index finger at you. “You’re the one I want. Not Sam’s dame, not a girl I kissed in a hallway after knowing her for a month seventy years ago and never saw again.”

It’s a little insult to Steve, you remember. But then you remember what Steve actually did, and how he did it, and exactly who he left behind.

So this means something.

“I like you. I want you. And I love you, whether you know it or not.” He stops, leans in close so his lips are less than a centimeter from your ear, whispers the next part: “Whether you’ll accept it or not.”

His breath is hot on your neck, and he takes a warm hand in yours. It’s his flesh hand. Your heart is racing, and you note that Bucky can probably hear it. 

“Buck -” you stammer, “I — I don’t —”

“You don’t have to say yes, sugar,” he says nonchalantly, but with that sincere tone still lingering. “But you have to realize that some people actually do like you. Want you. Love you.”

He pulls back, his face so close to yours it’s almost claustrophobic for you. The tension in the room is overwhelming, and the air is stuffy and hot and you don’t know how to react to any of this.

“I do,” he continues, “even if that son of a bitch didn’t. You’d think that after five years of not seeing you, he’d come rushing back with flowers and chocolates and a weddin’ ring. You’d think that distance would make a relationship stronger, if it’s the right one.”

“He was dead,” you croak.

“So you thought. And what did he do? He left...Tell ya what, sweetheart,” he says, his tone lightening once again. “Why don’t you let me show you how I feel instead of telling you?”

His hand travels up your thigh and stays there.

“I’ve loved you for so long,” he whispers, “and you don’t know how long it’s taken me to actually say it. Because now you’re listening. Now you’re learning. Now, hopefully, you’ll begin to accept it.” He looks down, down at your lips, then back up to your eyes.

Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, he looks nervous. He stammers out the beginnings of words, never meeting your eyes. "Er — I don't — I don't deserve you. I really don't. You're an absolute angel compared to me. I've — I've killed people, I've done things that you'd recoil at.... I just hope that you come to realize that I love you. I adore you. And if something happened to you, I'd never forgive myself."

It takes a moment for you to collect your thoughts.

You shove them all aside and kiss him.

It’s gentle, and it’s warm and welcoming and it’s Bucky. He lightly takes a hold of your cheek and pulls you further in. The hand that was once on your thigh is now in your hair, at the very back of your head. His lips are soft, which is strange, because you know he used to bite and pick at them, especially when he was nervous... which was often.

You feel like you’re going to topple off of your chair, but if that happens, you won’t mind, because you have Bucky there to catch you.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here,” he says after pulling back, nudging his head at the exit. “My place.”

All you can do is nod your head.

He cooks you dinner, the gentleman. It’s unexpected... you thought you’d just be a fling for tonight.

It’s chicken caprese - seasoned chicken breast with basil, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes and balsamic vinegar. A classic Italian dish, and a classic date night dish.

If you want to call this a date.

After you’re both done, he does the dishes. You both agree to brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash.

He’s on you directly afterward, latching his lips onto yours in a frenzy. You ground yourself by gripping onto the bathroom counter with white knuckles. He towers over you now, leaning over you and surrounding you with his seemingly much larger form. You’re a small thing.

“Bed — ” he gasps. “Bed, now, please.”

He picks you up, hands on your ass, and you have no choice to wrap your legs around him and hold on. Somehow, you make your way into a bedroom.

He lays you down as if you could break if handled less carefully, and lays down beside you for a minute, doing nothing but taking in the sight of you all breathless and blushing.

He's never seen you blush before. It's a very pretty sight.

"You know," he says, "I haven't done this in forever: properly made love to a woman. But I want to do it right. I want to make you feel loved, sweetheart."

Loved. Not "good". Loved.

"Bucky, there's really no need." There you go again, denying it. It infuriates him and saddens him, but he only sighs.

"How bout this. How bout you... for an hour or so.. just forget about that sonofabitch that left you. Forget about the denial he gave you. And, just for an hour or two, maybe just try to accept the absolute fact that I want to treat you better than he did. Just because he left doesn't mean that I will."

You don't say anything.

"Do you trust me?" he asks rhetorically. "See, you really shouldn't, but you do. I often think, 'How the hell could anyone trust me?' but I accept that fact because you just do.

"That's how I feel with you. You don't think that people should be able to love you, but they do. I do. And I want to show you that.”

“You did make me dinner,” you say with a light smile, your stone exterior cracking a little.

He nods. “That’s one of the million things I’d do for you.” There’s a split second pause that does not prepare you for what he says next. 

“I’d marry you,” he says. Only then does he kiss you, when you’re too stunned to move. You kiss him back, your grip on him heavy this time. He notices, and he smiles.

Clothes are quickly discarded and hot, fast breaths are all you hear for a while. Bucky latches his lips onto your own lips, your neck, your jaw, wherever they can reach, and his hands do the same. 

But when you’re both naked, taking in the sight of each other, your breathing slows, and you both stop, let time pass before anything continues. He breathes out a question, one of consent, and you say yes.

Soft whispers and touches are what your senses take in. Bucky takes note of your every gasp, every whimper and every moan that you make, and remembers what to do to make you do it again.

For example, you like your left breast fondled more than your right. Your neck is a sensitive spot, especially right below your right earlobe. You really like it when he kisses your palms and your inner wrists. You do not like the idea of cunnilingus, unfortunately for Bucky, though you’ve never actually done it.

“Next time maybe we could try it,” he says.  Next time.

You notice, in a random moment, that he does everything with his flesh hand.

His fingers find your intimate parts, and explore there slowly, spreading your wetness all around and rubbing at your clit in slow circles. You don’t moan until the very end, where you’re almost ready to come. His eyes never leave yours, even when yours leave his in a rush of sudden bliss and a shuddered breath.

“Look at me,” he whispers. “I want to see you. I want to see you come.”

You gasp at that, throwing your head forward and looking at him with a look that can only be described as desperation.

“Come for me,” is all he says, a low whisper laced with lust. You clench around his fingers as you come, whining and gasping, and he touches your forehead with his as you’re lost in that wonderful feeling of ecstasy. He mumbles something under his breath, and your brain registers it a millisecond later:

“’Atta girl.”

At that, another rush of pleasure jolts through you and you shudder and twitch, your body becoming oversensitive. 

He doesn’t let you go down on him. Today, he says, is all about you, and you deserve all the loving he can give you today.

Which means he buries himself inside of you quite quickly, holding onto you with an iron grip. You’re on top of him, looking down at his sweaty, awestruck smile.

This is Bucky’s way of making love with you today: very deep, passionate strokes set to a faster rhythm than you thought he would go, but you don’t mind. In fact, you’re moaning almost as soon as you feel the first thrust, and your hair hangs a little in his face as you let your head fall closer to his. He wraps his arms around your torso, bringing you closer to him. So, his thrusts are more shallow but you can get all close with him.

You moan and sob, the wonderful feeling of warmth in your gut never leaving once but only growing. Bucky himself grunts as he thrusts, emitting a breathy chuckle once in a while when he notices how hard you’re gripping onto him.

There are no words here, only sounds and gestures. Enough words have been said.

Once you’re both satisfied and his seed starts to dry on your breasts, all you do is look at each other.

Two souls, two people, two broken hearts that have begun to mend.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Angel Guzman

(My crap gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You meet Angel in Mr. Escalantes class. But you knew of him before then, let’s just say he had a reputation around the school. Before your class together you thought Angel was just another gangbanger. He got into fights, he acted tough, hung around the boys who started trouble; what else were you supposed to think.

- You weren’t particularly excited when he walked into your math class; very late might you add, with his buddy. You also werent excited when he arrived the next day and was sat a seat behind you in the row next to yours.

- Things get better when his friends stop showing up to class. You see a different side of him and one that you like much better.

- Angel’s had a crush on you for a while but never had an excuse to talk to you or the time to approach you without his friends catching him. He’s pleasantly surprised when he sees you in class on your first day.

- A big part of his uncomfortableness with Escalante teasing him is because of you. He doesn’t want to be made a fool of in front of you; or anyone in the class for that matter.

- One day you laugh at one of his smartass comments, the next day he asks you for a piece of paper, and before you know it the two of you occasionally speak to each other.

- He would definitely loiter around the hallways, standing behind a corner he knows you pass and waiting there until he sees you. He’d quickly put out his cigarette before catching up to you and starting a short conversation.

- After you’re on somewhat friendly terms he’d make sure to get to Escalante’s class early so that he could be there before you. When you arrive he’d open the door for you and try to speak with you a little before class.

- Mr. Escalante takes note of his behavior and gives him looks whenever he sees him trying to get closer to you. Before Angel actually asks you out I can see him approaching Escalante with “hypothetical” questions about girls/dating.

- Angel catches you after school one day in his usual fashion except this time he asks if you’re doing anything and if you’d like to come over to his house since his mother and grandmother are making *insert food here*.

- His family is really important to him, the town you live in isn’t exactly filled with things to do, and he doesn’t want to stumble across his friends out in public (neither do you). So honestly it’s the perfect place for him to bring you.

- He also doesn’t exactly call it a date so you go there as a “friend from school” which makes things a lot less awkward and gives you time to warm up to the older women. Even though he doesn’t say it, you know from the way he acts that it’s not just a platonic hang out.

- Things go really well, you have a great time, his family embarrasses him, and they love you as much as he does. His grandma almost pulls out his baby pictures but he’s thankfully; for him at least, able to stop her.

- As he’s walking you home from his house the two of you stop under a streetlight for a minute and he makes his move. He tilts your face up and softly kisses you.

- He continues to walk you home while the two of you struggle to stay composed. You just can’t seem to keep the smile off your face and neither can he. When he gets home himself both his mother and grandmother are waiting for him and tease him about his lovestruck face.

- Ever since then the two of you were a couple.

- He likes to act tough but he’s a big softy at heart. When you’re alone you get to see just how sweet he is.

- He’s showing you affection constantly although he keeps it on the down low when you’re in public.

- You’re almost always going to have to pluck a toothpick out of his mouth so that you can kiss him.

- Neck and jaw kisses.

- In all seriousness he can turn your legs to jelly when he kisses you. You’re thankful that he keeps you pressed close to him because you’d probably swoon and fall on your ass if he didn’t.

- Handshakes; they always end with him kissing your knuckles.

- Tracing his tattoos with your fingers while you play with his hands.

- Going to sit with him as he smokes; he always makes sure to blow away from you.

- Surprisingly enough he’s quite the gentleman, always opening doors for you or giving up his seat.

- Swearing is a form of endearment in your relationship except around his family. His mother would lose it if she heard him lovingly call you a bitch.

- Dodges when you try to touch his hair.

- There isn’t a lot of things for teenagers to do in your city, not only is there not much to do but the two of you are kind of broke so you usually just wind up hanging out somewhere like one of your houses or a park.

- He insists on paying for dates, he won’t let you spend your money on him unless it’s like his birthday.

- Hugging and cuddling him is the best because he smells sooooo good.

- You switch things up everytime you cuddle. You swear the two of you never lay/sit in the same position twice.

- Gets jealous when other guys talk to you; he doesn’t trust them. He tries to catch as much of what the guy or you say before he decides to interject (depending on the situation).

- He quietly does what you tell him to do without much of a fight, like if you ask him to get you something or ask him for a favor he doesn’t hesitate to do it or make a big deal out of it when he does.

- Speaking Spanish, if you don’t know Spanish him and his family would most likely take advantage of it; in a nice way. Like his grandmother would comment about how pretty you are to him in Spanish.

- Kind of embarrassed by his tattoos. He tries to hide them from you and even more so your parents.

- As long as it’s not Mr. Escalante’s class he doesn’t really have a problem cutting it with you.

- Helping each other study. He’s actually really smart when he puts in the effort which he often does so on the down low.

- He likes having the excuse that he’s carrying something school related of “yours” so that he doesn’t need to worry about if his friends catch him (at least when they were actually friends).

- He quietly gets your attention in class to show you how one of your classmates is sleeping or doing something equally as amusing.

- Gets attached quickly; you show him some affection/attention and he’s yours for forever. He’s not touch starved but his life has been lacking in the romance department.

- Momma’s boy; its a good thing she loves you.

- Helping him take care of his grandmother when you go over to his house after school.

- Since he takes care of his mother and grandmother you can rest assured that he wouldn’t be embarrassed to pick you up anything period related.

- Would want to take care of you when you’re not feeling well. He feels bad when you don’t let him help you, he knows you just don’t want him getting sick because of you but it’s a habit of his to worry about and be there for his girls.

- Subtly showing your disapproval of him staying out all night. He knows what you’re getting at and agrees himself that he should stop but he tiredly makes a joke instead of saying so.

- Though you might be a slight hypocrite since you’ve snuck out to be with him during the night more than a few times.

- Lending him supplies when he doesn’t bring them to class.

- Makes kiss faces at you especially after saying something sarcastic and/or you scoffing at him.

- He looks over at you whenever he makes a joke. You try your best to stifle a laugh at his smartass jokes and antics.

- Sharing food, especially oranges and drinks on a hot summer day.

- Trying to stop him from fighting. He loves you and wants to make you happy but sometimes you won’t be able to succeed.

- Very protective; he isn’t keen on you taking public transport or walking the streets alone. He always walks closest to the road when you’re walking on the sidewalk together.

- Hes completely ready to start a full on fist fight with someone for disrespecting you.

“What? I’m doing this for you.” He says all worked up as you try to hold him back from the person. 

- Feeling bad for thinking he looks hot when he’s angry... and when he spit’s at people. 

- Smoothing out his hair and wiping any blood from his face after he gets into a fight. It helps calm him down and gives you time to give him that tsk™.

- Trying to help calm him down after a fight. Depending on how angry he is there’s a few way that you can... help.

- When he gets angry he gets angry. He never gets as furious as he can be at you but you’ve seen your fair share of moments when trying to calm him down. He often slams his head on things when he gets mad but he’s also been known to throw or flip things.

- Comes to your house uninvited...a lot. Be ready for him to show up without any warning.

- Your parents would probably care more if he wasn’t so sweet to them and didn’t help with things around the house as much. When a kid fixes your car, takes out the trash, helps with the dishes and mows your lawn for free every week it’s kind of hard not to like him.

- Hes got a lot of balls, sometimes he genuinely shocks you with the shit he says or does.

- Sitting in random positions together or on things you usually wouldn’t sit on. A lot of the time he just chills on your kitchen counter while you cook.

- If his grandma knows he’s going to see you she makes him take food or flowers.

- The both of you take turns insulting each other...lovingly.

- Lowkey muscular. When he took off his shirt in front of you for the first time your eyes nearly fell out of your head; all you could do was gulp.

- If you get hurt or sick then prepare to be called stupid and blamed while he takes care of you. It’s just a reflex of his; he has trouble voicing the feelings he has that make him feel weak. 

- Doesn’t like pictures; you have to fight him to take one with you.

- He has quite a few pictures of you though. His grandmother keeps a framed photograph of the two of you in the living room.

- Has and will take his clothes off instead of getting them dirty or wet. You were washing your car and he just straight stripped in your driveway when you asked him to help you a little.

- Can and will fix your car if there’s a problem with it. Him and his boys probably “steal” it for a little while and make it look and run like it’s brand new.

- Jokingly makes a cross at you with his fingers whenever you mess with him or look like you’re about to voice your disapproval over something he’s done.

- Kind of just sits down and takes it when you get angry with him. He usually rolls his eyes or bulges them out a little when you turn your back to him.

- You don’t fight very often, there’s only been a few actual fights in your relationship. The biggest fight you’ve ever had was about him not wanting people knowing about your relationship(in its beginning). He just wanted to protect you and keep you away from the shit he gets himself into; you understood that.

- But let’s be honest, a secret relationship is hard, not being able to acknowledge your boyfriend in front of people is hard, hearing other girls say he’s attractive is hard. And that isn’t lost on him either, he hates seeing other guys flirt with you or not being able to walk you to class like a proper boyfriend.

- He’s really good at apologies. It’s so hard for you not to forgive him especially since you can’t stand being upset with him in the first place.

“I may be a sinner but I’m willing to pay for my sins.”

- He introduces you to Chuco who really doesn’t care. He does kind of hit on you though. After the two of them stop hanging out he flirts with you just to piss him off and tries to get answers out of you.

- Trying to cheer him up after the whole scandal and after he cuts ties with his gang. He’s a bit of a pessimist in general and you try your best to change that, he thinks it’s cute.

- Supporting him and his ambitions.

- He wants to prove himself to you even though you assure him that he doesn’t have to and that you love him no matter who he is.

- He says “love you” often, anytime the two of you say goodbye he’ll say it as though it’s the easiest thing in the world for him to do.

- If he didn’t marry you; which he in all seriousness plans on doing, his mother and grandmother would never let him live it down.

[godlydolans]

What do you think it would be like if the twins were dating an Indian girl?

My first time doing headcannons. Here we go!

• angst fest because even though the attraction is there, you don't act on it because you're scared what your family will say.

• he tries to be understanding about your family and why you think you can't be in a relationship, but he really doesn't understand why love has to be put in these boundaries of caste, religion, ethnicity and nationality. (Only applies if your family is against you dating people that don't belong to your own caste, religion, etc. If your fam doesn't come under this category, congratulations, you lucky bitch!)

• when you finally can't resist each other, throwing caution to the wind and getting together.

• introducing him to your favourite bollywood movies. Oh yes, by the end of which, he totally knows who Shahrukh Khan is.

"Literally how are they dancing like that, wearing all that gold jewelry? That looks really heavy!" He'd complain while watching Devdas. "Hey, does everyone really live in gigantic mansions in India? That looks like a fucking palace to me."

• watching My Name Is Khan and him needing constantly check to make sure you're not crying and by the end of the film, both of you are crying.

• making Chana Masala, Idlies, Dosas, his favourite Lentils, and other vegan Indian dishes for him. You always make sure you don't add too much masala and chili though. Then him praising your amazing skills in the kitchen to his family and literally anyone else that would listen.

"Dude, I'm telling you, you gotta try this shit. It's so fucking good, I'm mad no one told me about it sooner!" Then the recipe is being shared around in his family group chat because he just wouldn't shut up about how good it is.

• him seeing you in a saree for the first time. Maybe you came out of the bathroom with it on and before he could even take s satisfactory look at you from the front, you turned and gave him your back. "Babe, can you close the hooks for me?" You gesture to the hooks of your blouse and he can't keep his eyes off how beautiful you look, wrapped up in this gorgeous piece of cloth.

"How do you put this on?" He asked, observing the various folds and tucks going on, "it must have been tough."

"It was at first, now I've gotten the hang of it."

"Well, it looks magnificent but I kinda wanna undo all your hard work and have you under me, on the bed right now." He husks in your ear, gently twining his arms around your bare waist, pulling your back to his front. "Damn, you look good enough to eat."

For the rest of the night, whenever your movements cause your saree to reveal your waist to him, he's cursing under his breath and training his heated gaze on you, until you look at him and see that he can't wait to unwrap you out of that saree and have his way with you.

• same is the case with any other traditional outfits that you wear. He just can't control himself when you strut about in your element, looking like a princess of some far away fantasy land.

• he loves to learn about the festivals you celebrate, the stories about your Gods and Goddesses and the fact that there are so man, really fascinates him.

"Its all really similar to the Greek mythology." He'd say.

• him asking you to teach him your language. He's really fascinated with languages, he's always wanted to learn a foreign language but never got around to doing it. The fact that you are bilingual/multilingual, makes you all the more attractive in his eyes.

"What do you call rain?" He'd randomly ask while you're sitting on the porch, enjoying the rain.

"Baarish."

"What do you call those?" He'd point toward the flowers.

"Phool." You'd smile when he'd repeat after you.

"How do you say 'I'm in love with you.""

"How do you say "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

"How do you say, "you're the woman of my dreams?"

Yeah, he just loves to hear you speak to him in your language and he loves to make you blush by asking you to translate the corniest lines. Overtime, you notice how he's started to add some of the foreign words in his daily vocabulary and that just makes your heart melt. He sounds hella cute saying them too, it's just too much cuteness for your poor heart to handle.

• you calling him jaan or shona or any of the Indian terms of endearments for the first time. You didn't do it intentionally, it just came out before you could think about what you said. And he was quick to pick up on it, because he'd heard you use those words on your little cousins or siblings before. So he's instantly like, "What did you say?"

You're blushing as you pretend to be clueless, "Don't forget to pick up some apple juice?"

"No, that's not all you said." He'd give you a knowing look, coming up to stand in front of you. "You said, "don't forget to pick up some apple juice, jaan."

If you were flushing before, you're red in the face now. "Did I?"

"You did." He's pulling you closer by your waist, "you shy? What does it mean?"

"My life."

"Hmm, I like the sound of that." He murmurs low and sexy, leaning in and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss, "I like how you say it." Leaning in for more, "say that again?"

"Jaan." And he crushes his lips to yours, the kiss so intense that it makes your toes curl and your heart skip a beat.

"Fuck, you made me forget what I was gonna do,"

"You were going to the grocery store," you giggle, slightly breathless from the kisses and the heated look he's giving you.

• listening to your favourite hindi songs and telling you how soothing they are. Every single day, he has a new favourite. And when you sing it, even better.

• discussing baby names later on in your relationship and loving all the unique names you suggest. He's all for Aamya, Samaira, Meera, Maya. He's especially partial to the names that end with an a, he says they sound mystical.

"Babe, our baby is gonna have the most beautiful name ever. All their classmates will be jealous."

Let's end this here or I'll go on and on and on 😅

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m going (28)

Be cool

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and a VERY steamy scene. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: 4,350 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up basically where we left off, during the last night in the cabin, starting with Amara’s POV. This chapter is a little slow, but it sets up several things that will be important for what will happen next!

*****

Amara had gone back to the kitchen for the umpteenth time to make more margaritas. And to think she’d made fun of Drake for buying so much booze.

Dinner had been amazing, Drake truly hadn’t lied about his grilling skills. Even Hana, who was always poised and polite, had asked for thirds, and downed one burger and two hot dogs. Olivia had begrudgingly agreed that the mushrooms and leeks on top of the burgers were a nice touch.

Armed with two pitchers of margarita and her pineapple and coconut cake on a tray, Amara made her triumphant entrance in the backyard. As everyone cheered for her to fill up their glasses, she caught herself worrying for their livers, but promptly remembered that, if everything goes to shit tomorrow at Penelope’s estate, this may be their last fun night, so cirrhosis be damned.

‘Amara! This cake is heavenly,’ Hana gasps.

‘Oh, honey, you don’t have to say that,’ Amara responds. ‘I’m not the best cook--’

‘Shut up, Suarez, and give me another slice,’ Olivia cut her off.

‘Guys,’ Max says, his mouth full of cake, ‘let’s continue, it was Liv’s turn to dig into the bowl.’

They had started a game of Truth or Truth, for which they had written deep questions for one another on little pieces of paper, and mixed them in a bowl. Olivia rolls her eyes but picks up a paper.

‘When was the last time you were in love,’ she reads.

‘Oh, that’s my question!’ Hana beams.

‘Kid, you know we all have to answer, right?’ Olivia says. ‘You included.’

Hana blushes. ‘Oh, I didn’t realize that.’

‘I’ll go!’ Max says enthusiastically. ‘Drake, you remember Gianni, right?’

Drake nods, ‘I fucking loved that guy. He was hilarious.’

‘Yeah,’ Max says wistfully. ‘I thought we were more serious than he did. He ended up going back to Italy and breaking my heart.’

‘Max, I’m sorry, that sucks,’ Amara says as she reaches to hug him.

‘Your turn, Suarez,’ Olivia interrupts.

Amara blushes. She feels like a schoolgirl playing Spin the bottle. Are they really gonna make her say it in front of everyone? ‘Guys… you know.’

‘Ooooooh,’ Max teases, ‘no we don’t!’

Amara throws her hands up. ‘Well, obviously it’s Drake. Last time I was in love is now, with Drake. Happy?’

Drake reaches for her cheek and brings her face to his. Their mouths crash together in a sweet, yet urgent kiss.

‘Same answer for me, bitches,’ Drake slurs. ‘My last time is also now, with Amara.’

She knows he’s drunk. When else has he called anyone ‘bitches’ as a term of endearment? But then again, she’s drunk too, and so blissfully happy that she couldn’t care any less.

‘Alright, you guys are fucking gross,’ Liv says, waving her hands at them as if to shoo them. ‘Lee, your turn.’

Hana blushes again, and takes a big sip of her margarita. ‘Damn, Amara, these drinks are good. Thank you for making them strong. Well, you guys remember the infamous photo, right?’ Everyone nods, and she continues. ‘I told some of you that this woman, Caroline, was kinda...the one who got away. We were together at Oxford. After graduating, I had to go back to China, or, to be more exact, I didn’t have the guts to stay in the UK and defy my parents. So, I broke up with her, said I wasn’t ready, right before our third anniversary. She had booked us a trip to New York as a surprise, which I found out after, through a mutual friend. In any case, I didn’t break up with her for lack of love. More like...for lack of courage.’

Max holds out his arms and Hana pulls him into a hug. ‘Hana, babe, there’s nothing harder than coming out to tough parents. You didn’t lack courage, it was simply not the right time!’

‘Exactly,’ Amara chimes in, ‘look at how brave you were in front of the whole court the other day. A fucking champ! Because now is your time.’

‘You think?’ Hana sniffles. ‘I mean, I basically didn’t have a choice…’

‘Yes you did,’ Amara continues. ‘You could have denied it, said that it was a fake picture, or said it was a joke among friends. But you took the high road, and we’re so proud of you.’

‘Ok, this game took a turn,’ Liv sighs. ‘I didn’t think it would end in a group hug.’

‘Well then,’ Max replies, ‘you go ahead, Liv, answer the question.’

Olivia quickly glances at Amara, who gives her an encouraging smile. For a split second, Amara thinks she’s gonna be truthful and open up about her feelings. But, after a brief pause, she says ‘Nope. No heart, remember? Icy Nevrakis bitch here. Nothing to see. Next!’

*****

‘Babe, we’ll clean up in the morning,’ Drake whispers in her ears, his arms draped around her waist as she does some dishes.

‘I want to help,’ she says, leaning into his embrace, ‘I know you have to get up early, to go to the grocery store and get ready for Liam and Bertrand coming over.’

He kisses her neck. ‘I don’t mind. I like it. Besides, you made all of the drinks all night long, which was by far the biggest job of all, given this crowd.’

She chuckles. The sound of her laugh makes his heart full. He hates to admit it, but the glowing heart imagery from Jane the Virgin is spot on.

She says, ‘I know you like entertaining, but I don’t mind doing a few dishes. It’s not even that late. Please, let me help.’

He takes a kitchen rag. ‘Alright, then I’m gonna do the drying. Team work, right?’

*****

Olivia turned on her phone for the first time for a few hours. After what happened with it, the mere thought of sending a text filled her with dread, but she had to check her email at least, in case something was needed from her at Lythikos.

She plops down on the bed, and unzips her dress while her phone turns on. It’s strange to be here, at the Walker cabin, but especially in Savannah’s room. Maxwell and Hana had called the Master bedroom, which had a king bed. They had rightfully assumed that Liv would rather cut off her own arm than share her bed with either of them. But still, in here, she feels like she is sharing it with Little Savannah Walker, whose spirit is all around.

She wonders if she had contributed, even minimally, to sending her away. She’d never been very nice to her, never welcoming. But then again, it’s not her job to hang out with the Kingsguard’s offspring. She had enough on her hands as a child, after all.

Her phone buzzes, pulling her out of her daydream.

I had a good time yesterday. I decided to come to Portavira after all, so I’ll see you tomorrow?

Rashad. Damn, she hates how her heart jumped like an idiot as she read his name on the screen. Why? It’s stupid. He’s just being nice.

She takes off her dress and gets into a tank top and shorts, before heading to the bathroom.

She’s not answering that text.

*****

‘Wow, you look hot,’ Drake whispers as he sees Amara come out of the bathroom in her new, emerald green nightie.

‘Oh, this old thing?’ she smirks. ‘Just kidding, it’s brand new. I got it at the lingerie store the other day with Hana.’

Drake pulls her into bed with him, and kisses her urgently. ‘How come I’ve never seen it?’

‘Well, Walker, as I recall, you didn’t exactly give me time to wear anything last night.’

He chuckles as he plants a trail of kisses from her lips down to her collarbone. ‘Heh. I guess you’re right. What can I say, I can’t resist you, Suarez.’

‘Mmmm, ditto. Don’t stop.’

He has no intention to stop. His mouth runs all over her chest, until he’s kissed every inch. He pays special attention to her nipples, which get harder and harder under his tongue. Soon enough, off comes the sexy nightie, to make more space for Drake to kiss her all over. On his way down, he kisses her stomach, until he reaches between her legs, where he’s been aching to go, all night long. Amara moans in anticipation as Drake pauses before putting his lips on her core. He teases her with his tongue, softly at first, then more deeply.

Her moans get louder and louder until she catches herself and remembers they are no longer alone in the house. Somehow, her muffled grunts turn him on even more. His only mission tonight is to make her come, and judging from her increasingly intense breathing, it becomes obvious that he’s on the right track.

As Amara orgasms, she lets out a barely muffled low groan, which Drake is pretty sure everyone in the house heard. But he doesn’t give a shit. Amara catches her breath, and whispers, ‘Wow, Walker...you got game.’

He smirks, ‘I fucking love taking care of you.’

She pulls him into a kiss, and he shivers as his hard cock touches her naked body. She reaches down and starts stroking it slowly, drawing groans from Drake. ‘Fuck me, Walker,’ she whispers in his ear.

*****

Amara opens her eyes, awakened by Drake’s soft kisses on her forehead. ‘H--hey,’ she mumbles.

‘Oh baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.’

She smiles and kisses him. ‘It’s ok. I need to take a shower and move my stuff anyways.’

Drake nods, stroking her hair. ‘Wanna join me in the shower?’

She acquiesces enthusiastically.

After showering, she stands in a towel in front of the mirror, brushing her rebellious curls and spraying rose water on her face. Drake gets into his jeans as quickly as he can and kisses her lips. ‘I’m gonna run to the supermarket to buy lunch before everyone else wakes up. I’ll see you later? I’ll bring croissants back for you guys, so don’t make anything, ok?’

‘You’re the best, thank you!’

He really is. Amara hopes that things don’t change too much from the bliss that she’s been feeling for the past two days, but she doubts her wish will come true. She already feels stressed out about Liam’s upcoming visit, and it’s not even an official courtly one. She’s already scanning the cabin in her head, to make sure nothing incriminating lies anywhere.

Once dressed in a casual outfit --light-wash skinny jeans and a yellow blouse--, Amara goes downstairs and puts the coffee pot on. Hana is already in the backyard, reading a novel.

‘Hi Amara!’ she waves.

‘Hey hun, I’m making coffee. Want some?’

‘Sure,’ Hana replies enthusiastically. ‘I saw Drake leave a while ago, he’ll be back with breakfast.’

Amara waits until the coffee has brewed and pours two cups, with a dash of milk.

‘Thanks,’ Hana says. ‘Did you pack? You should put your stuff in the master, we’ll say you slept with me, and Max on the couch.’

Amara nods. She loves that Hana has thought of everything. ‘Thank you. I was gonna ask if you mind lying a little…’

‘Of course not. We don’t want to raise suspicions, not now.’

Amara takes a big sip, pauses a bit, and says, ‘Hana, do you think we’re fooling ourselves? Liv is right, Liam will be furious however we announce it.’

Hana gives her a reassuring smile, and somehow, Amara already feels soothed. ‘Liv is hurting right now, she’s lost and she sees everything in a negative light. I think you and Drake are doing what you can. If the timing is right, if you wait until Liam has proposed to someone, and has moved on, you could always fudge the details and say you guys fell in love after the Decision Ball.’

‘You’re right. But...what if we don’t pull it off? What if someone rats us out before that?’

‘I understand the fear, believe me. Given everything that’s happened, it’s legitimate. But you can’t live in fear, honey. You’ve already lived the past two years punishing yourself for something you didn’t cause. You need to let yourself be happy.’

Amara swallows hard. She and Hana had many heart-to-hearts in the past few weeks, ever since she’d told her all about Sergio. Hana had been an excellent listener, and an even better hugger, but had never expressed any judgment or given her opinion on Amara’s past. This was the first time she had said something like that. ‘Funny,’ Amara smiles, ‘you’re not the only one who’s been telling me this, lately. My dad, Drake, Max, even Liv…’

Hana smirks, ‘Well maybe we’re all onto something. Obviously, you can’t announce your relationship to everyone right now. Liam and Drake’s friendship would not survive. But even in secret, for now, maybe you could find a way to stop feeling guilty. To stop fearing.’

‘Good Lord, woman,’ Amara whispers, ‘you’re so wise. It’s exhausting, really.’

Hana laughs heartily. ‘Oh well, I try, but I can only apply my wisdom to other people’s problems.’

Amara grabs her friend’s hand. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday, about Caroline. You should reach out to her. Explain to her what you said to us, about timing, about being ready. Maybe she’ll understand. It’s worth a shot, right?’

Hana smiles wistfully. ‘It definitely is.’

‘Morning my little blossoms!’ Maxwell kisses Hana’s and Amara’s cheeks. ‘How did you sleep?’

‘Great,’ Amara says. ‘Help yourself to coffee, Max, there’s plenty. Has anyone seen Olivia?’

Max shakes his head, all the while pouring himself a cup, to which he adds about four spoonfuls of sugar. ‘No, not yet. Hope she’s alright.’

As if on cue, Olivia comes down the stairs, looking more relaxed than the day before. ‘Morning guys,’ she says softly.

‘Hey Liv, how did you sleep?’ Max asks.

‘I um…’ she scratches her head and grabs a cup of coffee. ‘I actually slept really well. I’m sure it was Suarez’s margaritas.’

‘Or it could be the peace and quiet,’ Amara chimes in.

‘Yeah yeah, nature is fucking adorable,’ Liv replies.

*****

All five of them are still sitting outside, enjoying their coffee and croissants, in the sun. Drake bought something easy for lunch, he will just have to assemble the salad, and grill the steaks at the last minute. They will have ice cream for dessert.

The croissants he brought back were a hit, although he wishes he had had more time to make them himself. On second thought, he is glad he spent that time in bed and in the shower with Amara instead.

There is a knock on the door, and when Drake looks at his watch, he sees that it’s only eleven. Could it be Liam already? ‘I’ll get it,’ he says before getting up.

‘Good morning, Drake,’ Bertrand says, an awkward smile on his face.

‘Hi Bertrand, welcome!’ Drake responds, opening his arms for a hug.

Bertrand, visibly taken aback by the gesture, hesitates before walking into Drake’s hug. ‘Thank you for having me. I hope I’m not too early, I just, um…’

‘No, not at all, come have a coffee with us, we’re outside.’

He walks in, and Drake notices that he is wearing a black shirt, and a vest with little embroidered horses on it. Drake has to fight a smile. Bertrand probably thought that coming to the countryside warranted a horse-themed outfit. Thankfully, he didn’t break out the riding boots, just some boat shoes.

‘Hello everyone,’ Bertrand says awkwardly. It occurs to Drake that he had never really been included in any of their private get-togethers, besides the Beaumont Bashes. Drake feels bad. Although he doesn’t know it yet, this man is the father of his nephew, they should be closer.

‘Hi Bertrand, good to see you!’ Amara says, as she gets up and gives him a hug.

‘Oh, um, hello, yes, um, good to see you too, Amara,’ he mumbles, patting her back like he’s trying to burp her.

‘Do you take milk or sugar?’ Hana asks.

‘Um, no, I take it black, thank you, Hana, you’re very kind.’ He takes the cup. ‘Before we sit down, I wanted to make sure that everything is in order. I mean um, Amara, did you think of removing all evidence that um… that you were staying…’ He rubs his neck, obviously unsure of how to say what he wants to say in an appropriate manner.

Amara sees his struggle and interrupts. ‘Yes, thank you for thinking of this, Bertrand. I removed my belongings from Drake’s room and transferred them to Hana’s. Also, I wanted to apologize. For keeping you in the dark.’

He waves her off. ‘Please. There was a clear conflict of interest. You couldn’t possibly tell me, when I was so eager to push you on Prince Liam. But um… for what it’s worth, I am happy for you both. Love is precious and should not be apologized for.’

Drake’s eyes widen. Did Bertrand just say something adorable? Well fuck. ‘Thanks, man, we appreciate it. We heard you had our backs yesterday, thank you for that too.’

‘Oh,’ Bertrand mumbles again, ‘it was nothing.’

*****

Liam looks at his watch. He’ll be right on time for lunch at Drake’s. He decided to drive himself, to clear his head. Bastien had begged him not to, but he needed to be alone on this drive. He needed to feel normal.

Nothing feels normal. His best friend is acting weird and distant --although he hopes that today’s lunch will reinstate things. Olivia is banging her bodyguard and refusing to talk to him. Amara, the woman he’d been dreaming of, has made it clear she does not want him. Madeleine keeps pushing and pushing.

He thinks back of their encounter, just this morning, in the gardens. He was taking a stroll, coffee in hand, before leaving for Portavira, and she was obviously looking for him. After they exchanged pleasantries, she squeezed his arm, and lingered for a little too long. Then, like clockwork, his father called him into his study and asked him to give Madeleine a chance. He can bet that Madeleine went crying to her aunt Regina as soon as Liam was dismissive of her. According to Constantine, she is the best contender and Liam has not even considered her.  

His eyes on the road, his hands firmly on the steering wheel, Liam tries to clear his head. It feels good to drive himself. But really, he can’t relax, not properly anyways. All he can think of is how weak his father looked, this morning, in his study. So small in his chair. Liam wonders how much weight he’s lost. How much time he has left.

He can’t stop thinking about what his father told him. Consider the good of Cordonia. Don’t give the kingdom to a stranger, or to a hotheaded woman who fornicates with the help. The kingdom needs stability, and Madeleine is stable.

Is she, though? What she pulled the other night in his study was definitely a little crazy. Leo has warned him that she is way more harmful than she looks.

What are his options? Olivia is shutting him out and banging other people. Amara says she doesn’t love him, but maybe she could learn to? Or, maybe she could just be his companion, and… No, she won’t accept. He’s pretty sure she wouldn’t accept.

But then what, at the end of the week he chooses someone, and he never sees Amara again? That’s no good either. There has to be a solution.

‘Shit,’ he swerves, almost hitting a hedgehog trying to cross the road. Damn, he thinks. He really is distracted.

There’s still Kiara and Penelope. Are they contenders? Not sure if Penelope has it in her to be queen. Kiara, he sees her as more of a noblewoman doubled as a diplomat. He would definitely get her to be a part of his council, but marry her? No. His father is not a fan either, he doesn’t think she’s a leader.

‘This is a clusterfuck,’ he mumbles to himself. In five days, the Decision Ball will be upon him, and he is very far from having made a decision.

He turns onto the small road leading up to the cabin. He hasn’t been here in a while. Last time was months ago, when he needed to unplug after his brother abdicated. Drake had offered to have a weekend at the cabin together, just them guys. Max had joined for one evening. That was probably Liam’s last memory of normalcy.

Here he is, pulling up to the cabin. He parks near Bertrand’s car and lets himself out of his own. From the backseat, he grabs the apple pie and white wine bottle that he brought despite Drake’s request not to bring anything.

He knocks, weirdly anxious.

‘Hey,’ Drake says, opening the door. ‘I told you not to bring anything.’

He wraps him in a bear hug, and Liam lets out an imperceptible sigh of relief. ‘You knew I would.’

‘Heh, I did. Come on in. Everyone’s here already.’

And here they are. The Beaumonts, Hana, Liv, and Amara, all out in the backyard, joking around and having coffee.

‘Liam!’ Hana notices him. ‘So good to see you!’

She approaches him and gives him a warm hug. Liam is grateful for the enthusiasm. Everyone else greets him, Bertrand with a handshake, Max with a huge hug, and Amara with a quick one. Upon touching her skin, Liam’s heart flutters. He’ll have to shut it down really quickly if he doesn’t want to make everything awkward.

Only Liv has not gotten up from her chair outside. ‘Liv, hi, how are you?’ Liam risks.

‘Liam. I’m good, how are you?’

Her tone is cold as ice. Still no improvement from their last interaction. She’s not even meeting his eye. Is she embarrassed about the bodyguard? Is she angry with him for not standing up for her more? He has no idea. What he sees is resentment, and he has never seen that from her before.

‘Alright,’ Drake says, ‘let’s have some food!’

*****

Amara is pleasantly surprised with the free-flowing conversation. She thought Liam’s arrival would put a damper on things, and it has, to some extent, but his company is pleasant today, he’s not being weird, except for when she hugged him hello and he lingered. But if that’s her only problem, she’ll be fine.

She has to watch herself, though. Be cool, Suarez, she thinks. She made a point to sit farther from Drake than she usually does. She is between Hana and Maxwell, which feels natural, but also prevents her from reflexively taking Drake’s hand for everyone to see.

They try not to interact too much, but still let themselves joke around with each other in reaction to Max’s antics, or Liv’s badassery. It feels restrained, but natural nonetheless. Liam knows they’re ‘friends,’ he probably even thinks they’re close, especially since Drake defended her against Tariq and stood up for her when Liam was inappropriate.

‘Oh, so you were all here last night?’ Liam asks, when Drake makes a reference to last night’s dinner.

‘Yeah,’ Max quickly responds, ‘except for Bertrand who had business to conduct. But I took Hana, Amara and Liv here. It seemed like a good opportunity to blow off steam and hang out!’

Amara holds her breath. She can see on Liam’s face that he has FOMO. Before he arrived, they agreed that they wouldn’t hide that they’d all spent the night, especially since they’d have to take their luggage back and bring it to Penelope’s estate. But still, his reaction was somewhat worrying.

Drake’s eyes meet hers, and he chimes in. ‘It was a spur of the moment kinda thing. I know you had meetings. But next time--’

Liam waves him off. ‘Of course! I wish I could have been there, but I could barely free up these few hours this morning, can you imagine the uproar if I’d left court last night?’

He plasters on the fake smile that Amara hates so much. She knows she has to change the subject. ‘So how are things at court? Is everyone behaving without us?’

Liam drops the façade and takes a deep breath. Shit, Amara thinks. Maybe it wasn’t the right way to divert the conversation. ‘Well,’ Liam begins, ‘it’s definitely been quiet. Kiara and Penelope spend most of their time together, although I had a very pleasant one-on-one with Kiara. But um…’ He pauses and scans everyone’s faces. ‘Madeleine is acting a bit...suspicious. Can I be blunt?’

Drake nods. ‘Go ahead. We’re steel traps.’

‘She showed up in my study the other night, clearly trying to seduce me, and when I rejected her, I could tell that she was really pissed off. I’m convinced that she’s involved in the...pictures.’ Liv looks away, and Liam continues. ‘I’m waiting on some more reports from security. Bastien is on the case, looking for clues.’

Amara turns to Drake, and they make brief eye contact. They both know that putting Bastien on the case will do nothing. And yet, they both have zero interest in speaking up about him, because he’s the only reason why no one has found out about their relationship yet.

Hana senses the tension and chimes in. ‘I think there’s nothing more you can do, Liam. Amara has tried to investigate. The phone used to send out my picture was a burner, linked to no one. The envelopes are untraceable for now. There’s just not enough to go off of. All you can do now is keep being a reassuring presence.’

Liam nods. ‘You’re right. I just want this madness to stop. If Madeleine is involved…’ he interrupts himself and glances at Amara. She knows what he wants to say. But he stops in his tracks, probably not wanting to offend her or freak her out.

So, Amara says what they’re all thinking. ‘If she’s involved, I’ll be the next target.’

*****

Taglist:

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Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[drdelphinecormigay]

You know what I thought brit’s did curse a lot but it was just y’all’s slang like saying ‘bloody’ or ‘shit’ or things like that. I didn’t know it was actual cuss words

Yeah no it kinda is just slang, like often swear words are used as a sub of a different word rather than as a curse itself?

Like saying ‘can you pass me that shit on the table’ is very different from calling someone a piece of shit - shit often kinda just means stuff. I suppose fuck is a bit more intense but even so it can be subbed in, so like ‘I’m just fucking around’ is like I’m messing around, or like you could say ‘I’m fucked’ which is like I’m screwed, both of which are different to telling someone to fuck off. Bitch is often used as a term of endearment, as sometimes is fucker. I could go on but my point is I feel like swear words can be used either as rude words or as slang terms.

Idk it’s kinda weird I suppose! I personally don’t really swear that much relative to lots of other people I know, but I do use it as slang. It depends on who’s around me.

[glenngaylord]

MY MOMENTS OUT OF TIME IN FILM 2017

Instead of a Top 10 List, every year I like to honor a long-discontinued but influential annual column from Film Comment magazine. I couldn’t wait for my father to come home from work with the “Moments Out Of Time” issue.  The writers would cite their favorite scenes, images, or lines of dialogue, even from films they may not have liked, because let’s face it, even bad films may have a great moment or two, unless you were a film called RINGS, CATFIGHT, THE SNOWMAN, or THE DINNER.  In that case, you suck in the most forgettable of ways. Despite some obvious stinkers, this was a great year for film. Some resonated with me, such as I, TONYA and THE FLORIA PROJECT as they tackled the issue of class in America.  Despite being period pieces, films such as DARKEST HOUR and THE POST pinged on topics such as war-mongering and the need for a free press, both of which we seem to talk about daily right now.  I have a few I need to catch up on, such as MUDBOUND and THE SQUARE, and one I recently saw, A GHOST STORY, wowed me, but I haven’t written a review of it yet.  

Even I can’t see them all, so here, in no particular order, are my Moments Out Of Time in film for 2017:

“America. They want someone to love, but they want someone to hate, and the haters always say, 'Tonya, tell the truth!' There’s no such thing as truth. I mean it’s bullshit! Everyone has their own truth.” - I, TONYA

A little girl (the great Brooklyn Prince) stands in front of a motel room door, telling her little friends they’re not allowed to enter.  She pauses, and then mischievously says, “But let’s go anyways!”  in a moment of pure rebellious, but dangerous joy. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

A young man (Lucas Hedges) begs his girlfriend (Saoirse Ronan) not to out him in one of the most touching moments of the year. - LADY BIRD

A woman (Cynthia Nixon’s blazing portrayal of Emily Dickinson) desperate to connect with someone, anyone, lights up whenever she’s around her soon-to-depart friend.  It’s a joy you wish she could have at all times.  It’s that ache to spar with another human that cuts to the core of this lonely tragedy. - A QUIET PASSION.  

Try watching the “I did not hit her” rooftop filmmaking sequence without bursting with glee.  One of the best-sustained comedy sequences of the year. - THE DISASTER ARTIST

A beautiful, long final shot of a young man (Timothée Chalamet) swimming in his tearful thoughts as the end credits role will break your heart. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

So will his father’s (Michael Stulbarg) 11th hour speech to him. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

A ghost in a white sheet with two eye holes, who has traveled across time for centuries, finally finds something important, which jogs his memory, making him feel less alone in the world, and then in a startling swish, is gone. - A GHOST STORY

Meryl Streep, in the most delicious long pause of 2017, struggles with the tough decision whether to publish the Pentagon Papers or not.  She conveys every pro and con with a series of reactions, leaving the audience breathless until she finally, and thrillingly, becomes a feminist heroine for the ages. - THE POST

Sure, it’s ostensibly Daniel Day-Lewis’ last film, but it’s the women, one with a deadening stare (Leslie Manville) and the other with the best eye flutter I’ve ever seen (Vicky Krieps), who take charge of this fascinatingly perverse story of control. - PHANTOM THREAD

A cleaning woman (Octavia Spencer) dusts a giant steampunk contraption as her mute co-worker looks on, sending the increasingly magical fable into a visually stunning dreamscape. - THE SHAPE OF WATER

“You know I can’t give you the keys, right babe?”  A chilling line in a scene in which a sympathetic, engaging character transforms into a monster, making Allison Williams, so often hated and too easily dismissed on GIRLS, as someone to REALLY watch as her career rises and rises.  - GET OUT

A beloved, iconic character from the original film makes a stunning, surprise appearance.  Despite it being CGI, this was the movie-movie moment of 2017. - BLADE RUNNER 2049

A bellicose, raging Prime Minister, known for his speeches, sits quietly with the square-ish frame filled with dark, negative space and seemingly lit by a single, too-bright light bulb.  He’s alone and yet belongs to us all, the push-pull of this theme resonating throughout the entire film. - DARKEST HOUR

“This didn't put an end to shit, you fucking retard; this is just the fucking start. Why don't you put that on your Good Morning Missouri fucking wake up broadcast, bitch?” - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Bill Skarsgård’s reading of the line, “Take it!” will haunt me for years. His Pennywise proved to be surprisingly haunting and indelible. - IT

The film’s not great, but Christopher Plummer and Ridley Scott deserve all the “We’re Not Worthy’s” for pulling off the Great Kevin Spacey Replacement of 2017 in 9 days, and actually delivering a full-bodied, memorable character in the process. - ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD

A desperate thief uses his smarts to wheel his badly-injured brother out of the hospital in an impressive feat.  It shows a whip-smart mind in the body of  person with lost potential, and in a moment which proves this well-meaning guy just can’t get a break, it turns out he took the wrong person. - GOOD TIME

Michael Cera, even more villainous and sociopathic than he was in THIS IS THE END, and apparently channeling Tobey Maguire, freaked me out as a hateful, poker-playing celeb. - MOLLY’S GAME

Ok, people will be talking about the biplane scene forever, but nothing made me laugh more than Tiffany Haddish’s reading of this line:  “Girl, you can't get no infection in your booty hole! It's a booty hole!” - GIRLS TRIP

Bridget Everett, in a blazingly intense performance, sings the shit out of Lita Ford’s KISS ME DEADLY in a dive bar and transforms herself from comedienne to serious dramatic actor. - PATTI CAKE$

A crazed woman (Aubrey Plaza) barges in on the wedding of a social media friend and maces her for not getting on the invite list, giving the Facebook effect its full and insane due. - INGRID GOES WEST

A young woman, unable to take one more second of her overbearing, judgmental mother (Laurie Metcalf), surprisingly jumps out of a moving car. - LADY BIRD

Charlize Theron kicks one ass after another in a seemingly single shot (but not really), making this one of the greatest fight sequences ever filmed. - ATOMIC BLONDE

Algee Smith finds the heart of the story as a musician who struggles with his ambitions after a harrowing all-night encounter with racists cops. - DETROIT

Say what you will about the insanity that unspools, but Michelle Pfeiffer as the houseguest from hell was fun to watch and sorely missed when not onscreen. - MOTHER!

As Elton John’s ROCKET MAN plays on the radio, Bille Jean King (Emma Stone) and her new girlfriend Marilyn (Andrea Riseborough) drive in sun-dappled glory, their hair blowing around with each surprising gust of wind.  It’s a perfect evocation of the 70s. - BATTLE OF THE SEXES

After following around an imaginative, enterprising man (Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc) as he develops the most successful fast food chain in the world, and seeing his as a hero, he transforms into a terrible villain about halfway through, making us question the value of the American Dream. - THE FOUNDER

A suicidal Spud, his head covered in suffocating plastic, leans back in his chair and falls backwards off the top of a building, but a flash cut send him to the floor of his apartment where Renton (Ewan McGregor) slides under him to catch him.  One of the most imaginative, emotional cuts in a film I’ve seen this year. - T2 TRAINSPOTTING

Don’t heckle Kumail Nanjiani!  Holly Hunter WILL read you to filth by interjecting, “That is like saying that all frat boys wearing country club hats and Hawaiian shirts have shriveled up  tiny little dicks!” - THE BIG SICK

A young man throws himself down in the sand as bombs explode closer and closer to him. A spectacular feat of cinematography and muffled sound, and one of the greatest shots in cinema history. - DUNKIRK

A mother kicks the chair her little daughter sits in, sending her flying.  A sudden, impactful depiction of abuse. - I, TONYA

Tom Cruise emerges from a crashed plane, his face hilariously covered in cocaine. - AMERICAN MADE

A seemingly sweet young man (Barry Keoghan, my favorite new actor of the year) changes his entire demeanor and quickly, chillingly tells a doctor (Colin Farrell), in no uncertain terms, what is going to happen to him and his family. - THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER

The best opening sequence award of the year easily goes to a film which mixed musical filmmaking with kinetic car chases and an endearing sense of rhythm. - BABY DRIVER

Eels creepily slither around a woman in a tub in an otherwise completely forgettable, indulgent film - A CURE FOR WELLNESS

Adam Sandler winningly loses his shit as he searches for a parking space. - THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES - NEW AND SELECTED

“See!  I took you on a safari!” exclaims Brooklyn Prince to her friend as they stand in front of a herd of cattle. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

An ape, bigger than ever portrayed before, emerges out of nowhere and swats down helicopters like flies as the camera gloriously swirls around him.  It’s APOCALYPSE NOW’s famous attack scene, but this time the invaded kick the invaders’ asses. - KONG: SKULL ISLAND

A messy trainwreck of a person (Anne Hathaway) lugs a mattress around town and literally confronts her inner demons. - COLOSSAL

A major character unexpectedly spits up blood on another, in a shocking moment (and there are a few in this film) I’ll remember for a long time. - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

French ACT-UP AIDS activists throw blood all over the offices of a pharmaceutical company, and heroically help change the speed at which drugs were approved for a population in desperate need of good news. - BPM

Despite being a thrilling adventure film, the quiet moments, such as the wonderful final shot of a woman walking out of a room and into the jungle, made this stirring yarn into something more internal and thoughtful. - THE LOST CITY OF Z

By this time, we’ve seen too many cars racing around, so instead we focus on the pleasure of seeing a dreadlocked Charlize Theron deliciously chewing the scenery from the evil lair of her jet, sending her into Faye Dunaway territory. - THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

The unexpected death of a major star, as a gelatinous, alien creature slides down his throat, destroying him from the inside out in zero gravity, may feel straight out of the ALIEN textbook, but it’s memorable nonetheless. - LIFE

I’m usually not a sucker for Disney movie songs, but I have not been able to get EVERMORE out of my head ever since I saw the film, and I mean that in a really good way. - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Same goes for Elvis Costello’s fantastic contribution with YOU SHOULDN’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, from a beautiful but not-great movie. - FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

Instead of the chestburster, we get the backbreaker, and instead of John Hurt, we get a character we don’t care about…but it STILL manages to be freaky and cool in an otherwise execrable film. - ALIEN: COVENANT

Can we please distribute LICK MY ASS, DIANE t-shirts to every person on earth, or at least make it THE trending hashtag of the year?!! - I, TONYA

Gal Godot donning the titular, classic costume for the first time in the film, charges through the emotional No Man’s Land sequence and into our hearts. - WONDER WOMAN

A seemingly liberal father over-explains his love for Obama to his daughter’s new black boyfriend (Daniel Kaluuya), who makes the Dad feel ok about his issues with race.  It keenly pinpoints the struggle people of color have trying to make white people more comfortable about their discomfort. - GET OUT

Willem Dafoe’s Manager expertly takes charge of a potential child molester, demonstrating his heartwarming, soulful protection of the lovable but annoying little brats who live in his motel. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

The camera whooshes from ground level to an overhead shot as a determined skater prepares for an important routine. - I, TONYA

Yes, the movie is an unholy mess, but Hong Chau’s “I go to Norway” speech is just a little masterpiece. - DOWNSIZING

Feet moving on red splotches of sand as they battle with their light sabers. - STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

A return to the iPhone footage he used in TANGERINE pays off perfectly in the final sequence, a rush of imagination, and a surprising and unforgettable place to take your little survivor of a main character, even if it’s potentially just a fantasy.  It doesn’t change the fact that a neglected but loved little girl wants a little escape. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

[theproofinthisong]

fine line review

oh my goooood i just finished listening to the album and i NEED to express my thoughts:

golden: didn’t know what to expect with this one but it’s?? so beautiful?? harry was so right saying it was a driving song it makes you want to go to california and watch the sunset from the car?? also the sun theme is so poetic and beautiful the way he uses it to talk about louis, his beloved?? the melody is quite simple but it’s so effective and these little da da da sounds the choir make in the background...heavenly. this part reminds me of another song but i can’t remember which one. what i love about this one is that it’s first time i’ve listened the lyrics seemed a quite sad (but riddled with hope still) and now the second time the meaning changed totally?? like it’s witchcraft how much the meaning can change once you look at the lyrics closely?? i know harry was talking about adore you when speaking about that feeling of bliss when you first meet the love of your life and fall completely but this is also what golden is about?? like being afraid but diving deep into it knowing this is right. i’m emo. in terms of vocals, it isn’t as BOOM as in other songs (in the sense that he’s not belting, using falsetto or a very low intonation that differs from his usual tone) but i love it!!! it’s very calm and peaceful and dreamy.

watermelon sugar: miss watermelon sugar is still as iconic as the first day she came out. it’s such a wonderful tune. my impressions on this song will never change and i will listen to it for another 30 times round without even hesitating. it just feels very summery and sensual and sexy without being too explicit (even though there is nothing wrong with being super explicit...see medicine). the chorus is just super catchy. the lyrics are so nice and i love the melody. very old pop and i’m a slut for this genre. also i know this has been HUGELY talked about before but i need to say it again. the way he’s saying belly!! the softness of the breathe me in/breathe me out parts!! the last watermelon sugar i don’t know why i’m obsessed it JUST SLAPS

adore you: oh darling. a treasure. 8 days ago, first time i’ve heard it, it took me by surprise because i wasn’t expecting that sound...but six seconds in and i was SOLD and already cherishing her with all of my heart. this song is JUST PERFECT. it’s probably the song that is the closest to 1D mixed with HS1 in terms of sound, like it’s super modern but at the same time has these very old school vibes i’m in LOVE WITH?? this is such a sweet joyful sappy song about his soulmate and i :’) also the rainbow paradise line i haven’t recovered from  bitches. i will never. this is such a certain and blatant declaration of love i wanna die!! i feel acknowledged as a romantic bitch who lives for this kind of grand gestures. thanks harry. also during some parts he sounds like old harry (i mean harry from 1d days) and then 2019 harry takes over and it makes me CRY

lights up: the first single and song from the era will always a soft soft in my heart. i listened to the track so many fucking times the words are tattooed onto my brain. this song was just so needed and so important. it’s so deep and means everything to me really. all of us wanted a song from him about identity and self discovery and lights up was the gift he gave us. never in my life i would have have dreamed of this song and it happened for real. i’m just so grateful. his voice in this is just so soft and delicate and so fitting for the song like it DEMANDS that tenderness and sweetness. also the choir gives me chills, like when they scream SHINE i just feel overwhelmed it’s!!! fuck!! i could write an essay about lights up because this song is just it. it makes you feel seen and understood and i just feel so lucky harry was able to share something as intimate as this.

cherry: lmaoooo. this one will be a skipper sorry. it’s far from being a bad piece because harry’s voice is always amazing but i can’t get over the voicemail. when the news came out i was just so appealed and angry but know i’m just cackling?? i’m french and what is this slander?? THE COUCOU AT THE BEGINNING IS RIDICULOUS!! and the ending sounds so rehearsed there is literally nothing naturel about it. thank god we hear harry’s laugh in it. I JUST KNOW it was added because there is no way he would have laughed irl at one of her jokes lol. lyrically you can see some parts were put there to make an allusion to the stunt (the accent & friends part, the gallery...) but others are just about louis?? like him being jealous of course it’s about the hubby. his voice is still beautiful but the melody doesn’t speak to me (and i would have telled you if it was the case) being objective, it’s the weakest one out of the album.

falling: OH MY FUCKING GOOOOD. i wanna say it’s my favorite song but i feel like it would diminish the love i have for the others but god...this song is breathtaking and out of this world. in terms of lyrics it’s the best HANDS DOWN. like period. fuck this song just BROKE ME. all that ache and heartbreak you get what he’s talking about when he said to zane lowe he hit rock bottom then. fucking hell. it just hurts knowing he hated himself that much like i can’t even fathom it. and his voice bloody hell?? i never heard him sing like that!!! it’s just so desperate and full of hurt and the high notes? please annihilate me. when i heard it i would at first sight i would be my favorite out of fine line. it was just so obvious. that kind of magic doesn’t happen a lot...like. i can’t pinpoint what part hurts me the most because the whole song is TORTURTING ME. when we’ll hear live i will be bawling for the rest of my life. i’m already am. my god it’s just so raw and honest no other artist can make me feel like that. you are experiencing the hurt with him it’s??? i have no words. and please this song makes no fucking sense if you don’t link to his relationship to louis like?? the i’m well aware i write too many songs about you?? hello??? i’m glad he doesn’t feel like that anymore because it hurts. it’s crazy how this song can pull you back to ancient memories and you just forget about the world. oh my god.

to be so lonely: i almost fell out of my chair (or bed, rather) because this song did not fit at all what i was expecting but it’s?? gold??? i was so sure it was going to be a full angsty ballad but it’s so catchy and it has those beatles vibe? like PLEASE. king of defying expectations. it’s so english. and it’s so smart because when the melody and rythm makes you think it’s gonna be corny (in the best sense of the word) but it’s kinda passive agressive? AND ALSO THE SWEARING. DON’T, STYLES. UR MY SON. i’m kidding. him hearing him say arrogant son of a bitch is THE PINNACLE of my life. also am i the only one that feels like if you change the beat a little and accelerate it on don’t call me baby ever again it would sound a bit like never enough? loved the throwback nonetheless. it isn’t a favorite yet but it’s already growing on me.

she: bloody fucking hell. first this song is timeless. it feels like it came straight (gay!!!) from the seventies. i had eagles vibes first listen but some said pink floyd and it’s SO TRUE. there are tons of rock influences in it but it’s so harry and manages to still be super unique?? just incredible. the writing of the song is the smartest out of HS2. it reminds me of woman (not in the way i was expecting...i had one supposition it was going to be about being envious of a woman while dumb people are tricked by the title) so much not in melody or lyrics at all but in the sense that it has a double (triple...and more) meanings. once again stupid hets think it’s about singing about the ideal girl when really it’s...on another plane of existence. like jesus. bitch i was right!!! it’s either a song on gender identity (harry singing about his feminine side that he was ashamed of for so long and tried to hide) or the closet and my god, the whole thing is just so clever.  A MASTERMIND. and the switch from the third person to the third KEATS you’ve been beaten. what a writer. it has thousands of interpretations this is just a trip. holy shit. the whole song carries so much guilt and repression and wishing be free of those feelings it’s?? i’m speechless. it’s so complex and intense. and fuck the guitar solo outro IS HISTORIC. in decades it will be praised as a masterpiece by all. i just know it. mitch you’re a genius. it gives just so much resonance and impact to the piece and it already had everything... i’m in heaven. or in hell. don’t know.

sunflower vol 6; cutest and weirdest song on earth and it’s A FAVE. it’s so colorful and nothing like he ever did before i’m living for it. it’s SAPPY AS FUCK and we stan sunflower in this house. also the part where he’s singing about wanting to kiss his lover kinda sounds like a lullaby and an alphabet song mixed together it’s ADORABLE!!! it’s such a being young and in love track i’m giggling!! it’s so precious!!! very poppy and gives you joy for days!! also super summery!! i wanna dance and twirl to it!! AND THE ENDING IS SO FUCKING LEGENDARY. BIG HIGH ON CRACK ENERGY. BITCH. it’s so uncanny like is he imitating a bird? calling someone?? trying to sound 5? i don’t know but it’s endearing. just so lovely.

canyon moon: another one i was expecting to be slow and it wasn’t. very country. thanks kacey for the input!! also him putting “jenny” in that sound is he trying to be adopted by dixie chicks and dolly parton? I LOVE that he’s trying new things with this track like country is such a hard genre to tackle and he nailed it. AND OH MY GOD THE LYRICS. it makes so emotional he’s literally creating a safe place for him and his darling?? could you be more in love?? this song belongs to the gays. san junipero without the angsty feelings. we deserved that. also he really mentioned the two weeks rule i’m weak. THIS IS INFURIATING.

treat people with kindness: the group part just sounds like a sitcom from the 80s. i’m dying. he really did that. and he named it like that :’) ALSO A GAY ANTHEM I CAN’T WAIT TO SCREAM THOSE LYRICS. big end of the days vibe. it’s just so healing and reassuring. it’s so empowering and i love the contrast between the very catchy happy bits (the high notes and the part where he kinda talks at the end reminded so much of mika which is a huge compliment as far as i’m concerned!!!) and that part where he’s singing very slow and soft you can see it’s very personal with him gaining confidence thanks to us during hslot <3 i’m dying this is such an exceptional gesture to like dedicate this to your fans? it’s so universal while being about his own journey (just like home..i’m sobbing) and that is like the mark of great music. also the instrumental is godsent.

fine line: i can see why it’s his favorite and why it is ending the album and giving it its name. i said falling was my fave but honestly fine line might be it too? the only difference is that i didn’t fall in love instantly, it takes time to escalate (it’s very similar to sott in that sense) beginning softly and almost whispered (also the high tone?? i almost didn’t recognized harry but at the same time it’s just 100% percent him but HE NEVER SANG in THAT TONE i’m!!! my jaw is dropping all the way to mars) like you can see it BUILDING to something superior and never made before... it’s a moment, it’s an experience, it just suspends time. like when music can do that for you...it’s infinite stuck in a few minutes. the two last minutes are purely angelic and the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard. it has very few lines and words but the one there are so meaningful. when the song ended i just stayed a bit in silence without moving i could not believed what i just witnessed. and the album ending with we’ll be alright...it’s so fucking special. and that word doesn’t even give it justice.

fucK. this album is just...i’m trying to find words but how can you. when you make an album as ambitious and as outstanding as HS1 it’s hard to go back to the studio and find a way to equate it (i’m not saying top it because both can’t even be compared...) but he somehow did it?? i had no doubt but holy shit it’s unreal. it’s crazy because fine line is so different from the first one while being as rock and pop but there is a level of maturity and vulnerability that feels just so? different?? i can’t seem to find the right expression but i’m am purely in awe. i dk how harry finds a way to exceed my expectations every time like... it’s?? i’m sorry i’m just so moved and... it just means everything. 

two years and a half after and the feeling is the same. an album changing me and my life at first listen and 48 minutes that felt like a lifetime and a second at the same time.

[may85]

Title: Feel My Love Part 2 Character: Jason Crouse TV: The Good Wife Warnings: None, fluff! Title by @magikat409 Photo/GIF credits go to the original maker/owner The ride home was silent. Even when Jason dropped me off at home, all he gave a was a hesitant, but soft goodbye. That kiss shifted everything between us. I knew he was still battling his feelings about Alicia and I felt like shit for adding on more onto him. I changed into some street clothes, glad to be out of my plaid work dress and heels. I decided to head on out to the bar down the street and just have a drink and something to nibble on while I people watched. It was crowded when I arrived and I found a table in the far corner so I could be alone. People came and went, socializing, enjoying their food and drinks. It had begun to put a damper on my mood; making me realize how alone I truly was. I didn't mind it most of the time, but to have someone to go home to or ask me how my day was after a kiss... well, it just made me crave it all the more. It made me crave Jason even more. I perked up slightly when I saw Jason walk through the door. He had a smile on his face and he seemed carefree. My brain functions came to a screeching halt when he hugged and kissed a gorgeous blonde. The weight on my shoulders intensified. That must've been why he was so distant... he was with someone and I could've damn near compromised it. I downed the rest of my Sweet and Sour Ameretto, threw some bills on the table and snuck out where I bumped in Lucca. "Jesus Y/N!" "Sorry," I muttered, ducking my head. "You okay, Y/N?" She asked, her voice light. "Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm great." "Are you-" She paused, looking over my shoulder. "I gotta go Lucca, take care." I scurried off, ready to go home. °°°°°° The next day, I made sure that I wasn't supposed to be in court. My reasoning? I was gonna slum it up at work. Instead of dressing in my normal dresses and heels, I wore jeans, a Rocko's Modern Life tshirt with a long, light knit coat and sneakers. I wasn't feeling it and I didn't give a damn who knew. I looked presentable, but I knew it'd also get me called into Diane's office since it wasn't casual Friday. Everyone stared at me, giving me much space as I must've been sporting my resting bitch face. "Wow, Y/N. Don't you look stunning?" Alicia giggled from the behind her hand. I looked her straight in the eyes and the smile was wiped from her face. Without uttering a word, I made my way to my cubical. Lucca sat on my desk top, her arms crossed, "You love him, don't you?" My hand paused as I was reaching for a pen. I grabbed it and clicked it, signing some much needed documents. "Let it be, Lucca." "Y/N, you can't just mope around here," I slammed my pen down, "Please, leave it be!" "Y/N?" My eyes closed as I bowed my head. It was Jason. Gathering up the folders, I held them to my chest and excused myself, "I have to get these to Diane, excuse me." Diane's eyes were wide when I walked in her office. "Y/N, are you alright?" I sighed, sick of hearing that question, "I'm fine. Here are the papers you requested." I said, setting them on her desk. She grabbed my hand, "Y/N, Hun. As your friend, I'm telling you you need to rest. As your boss, I'm telling you to go home and take sometime." I could feel my eyes begin to burn, "Diane, I-" She squeezed my hand, then released me, "Go, Y/N." "Yes Ma'am," °°°°°° I stopped by the local pizzeria and had ordered me a large pepperoni pizza and a batch of cinnamon rolls. Upon arriving at my home, I was shocked and hesitant to approach seeing as Jason was leaning against the door. He stood, pushing off the door, his hands in his pockets, "Hey... Can we talk?" He asked. I swallowed, my mouth dry,  "Um, yeah. Sure." Jason took the food from my hands so I could unlock the door. He followed me in, gently kicking the door shut behind him. Walking ahead of me, Jason put the food in the kitchen, then slowly came back into the foyer. "I think I may have offended you." He said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. I hung up my jacket, pausing, "You offending me?" I asked, incredulously. He nodded, "Yes." Jason stepped closer to me, "I know you saw me at the bar last night." "Jason, I-" "It's not what it looked like," he interupted. His eyes were desperate, pleading with me. "Jason, wait a minute," Jesus Christ he looked as of he was tearing up. "If anyone should be worried about offending anyone, it should be me, okay?" "You?" He brows furrowed. "Yes, me... I didn't know you were seeing anyone. If I had known, I'd never would've asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend or kissed you. So I'm sorry and I understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore." Jason chuckled, taking his glasses off and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Y/N, Sweetheart," My heart ached at the term of endearment. "I'm not seeing anyone," Woah, say what now? "That was a friend from New York. We had a few drinks and talked. I talked about you all night." "Huh?" Eloquent Y/N; real smooth. Jason came over to me, cupping my cheeks in his warm hands, "That kiss at your family's party it was.... amazing," he said, his voice deep. "Jason, I- I'm so damn confused." "I love you, Y/N. Everything that I've ever ran from; you've made me face and own up to it. I'm done running," Leaning down, Jason placed his hand on my neck, kissing me with a softness that I never knew he was capable of. His other arm circled me, resting in the small of my back as he loving tasted my lips. Applying a small amount of preasure to the kiss, he broke away from my mouth, staring down into my eyes. "I don't want to be jealous of the way men look at you anymore," he said on a breath, "I want to be the one to say that you're mine." The tips of our noses touched as we breathed, "I love you, Jason." His eyes closed, his forehead resting on mine, "Say it again, please?" I smiled, running a finger over his beard covered jaw, "I love you, Jason." He kissed me again, exploring my mouth with soft licks of his tounge. At the first caress of our tounges against one another, we moaned, holding on tighter to each other. I pulled back for a breath and opened my mouth to speak only to be interupted by my growling tummy. Jason busted out laughing, kissing my forehead as I groaned. "C'mon Sweetheart, let's get you fed," he said, leading me to the pizza. We sat next to each other as we ate, grinning like goofballs between bites. "I like it when you call me that," I said, picking a piece of pepperoni off the cheese. "What? Sweetheart?" He asked, as he chewed. I blushed, shoving the pepperoni round in my mouth, "Yes," Jason leaned over, laying a kiss on my neck, "I like calling you that." Tagging: @thedeadmost @krissy25 @fancybubble @superprincesspea @cherieann-2001 @darshaya @ladylorelitany @ali-pennell @wadeyourebarelyalive @fangirlindenial @negans-dirty-girl @smuttwd @justacaliforniandreamer @piilow-talk @pan-and-proud-writes @memphisgirl1977 @5sos1dsex @deviousginga @strangersangel9 @mogaruke @crzcorgi @siobhan-elizabeth @thecynicalnerd @cookiemunster10 @laureng-99 @danleto97 @miss-nori85 @rhysiecupcakes @texasgal2222 @magikat409 @jmackie1983 @sweatersandcaffeine @andillica @brandivstheworld @persephinii666 @jasoncrouse @rushernparadise @ferpyferp @catleesi-xo @lynnliciousadnan @astrangegirlsmind @kitcat44 @unicorn-blood-splatter @warriorqueen1991