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seraph-starman · 3 months ago

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admit it | s.w.

pairing: sam winchester x reader summary: sam’s sleep schedule finally catches up to him word count: 1.9k remi’s notes: i had sassy, early seasons sam in mind for this (so you should too !) even though the plot doesn’t match <3 (-2 degrees celcius is close to 28 degrees for our american friends)

You had advised him to wear a jacket. It was raining, and -2 degrees outside as you trekked through the forest in an attempt to retrace your steps and find where the Impala was parked. You had gotten lost after the hunt for the burial site of an angry ghost. Usually Dean was pretty good at remembering where he parked his beloved car, but it was dark when you arrived and this forest was much bigger than anticipated. At the sound of sniffing behind you, barely audible over the sound of leaves crunching in your path and tapping of rain, you stop and turn to Sam. He shoots you a glare.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine. And rain can’t even make you sick,” he says in response to your stare before continuing to walk past you.

“Sure, rain can’t make you sick. But being cold and wet for prolonged periods of time can. We’ve been out here for an hour. And you don’t get a healthy amount of sleep, which can put you at risk for illnesses,” you reply, paraphrasing the article you had memorized just for this occasion as you catch up with him.

“I get plenty of sleep. Trust me, I’m not sick.”

Dean then looks back to you both, shaking his head in annoyance.

“You two are being a real help here.”

Sam rolls his eyes.

“Do you even know where we’re going?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

The older Winchester stops and turns back, looking offended.

“Of course I know where we’re going!“

You both stop as you reach where Dean stood, eyes peering through the curtain of rain over the river that stood before you, to the trees that stretched for acres. The sun was rising over the tops of the woods.

“Here,” Sam says, sniffing between the actions of reaching into his pocket and then handing Dean a crumpled map. Dean groans, throwing his hands up before snatching the map from him.

“You had that this whole time?” He asks rhetorically before unfolding the map and turning to face the forest. Sam leans over his shoulder, before turning sharply into a forceful sneeze. Both you and Dean turn to stare at him. Sam wipes his nose as he’s met with both your looks, Dean’s grimace and your amusement. He frowns irritatedly before waving it off.

“I’m fine! Figure out where we are, Dean.”

Dean shakes his head, gazing back over the map.

“I think… that we’re here,” he accentuates with a jab to the river on the sodden map, “so that means that we need to go that way.“

He gestures up a soft hill and begins walking again, you trailing behind and Sam bringing up the rear. You fall into step beside him, lumbering along in Dean’s wake. Up close you could see the dark circles under his eyes, the undeniable consequence of his sleeping habits. Hell, none of you had gotten good sleep in a long while. But you knew Sam had it the worst. Occasionally you’d hear his low-voiced discussions with Dean, spoken only when they thought you were out of earshot. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, not at all, despite the teasing and the way he seemed consistently annoyed with you. He hated talking about his dreams, feeling like he was burdening someone with his own issues. Even with Dean he struggled. You’re interrupted out of your psycho-analysis of Sam as he realizes you’re staring. Again, but this time he could see the subtle concern in your gaze. It bothered him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you say, shaking your head as you turn back to look ahead. You recognize the pullout a few feet ahead, where Dean was already brushing leaves off the Impala. You’d never been happier to see that car, and Sam seems to have a similar sentiment as he sighs in relief.

The ride back to the bunker was quiet. Dean was too tired to put any music in, and the rain had quieted to a gentle tapping on the hood of the car. Cas was waiting when you got back, offering a quick congratulations on your success with the ghost before baiting Dean into another hunt. Sam had relentlessly tried to convince all of you that he was functioning as usual, that he could go with Dean and Cas. He was soon after proven wrong by the hellish coughing fit that followed his lame debate. So now it was just the two of you, and Sam had locked himself in his room with a box of tissues. All the better for you. It wasn’t like you wanted to listen to or take care of an irritated, fever-ridden Sam. You’d offered him some tea to help with his throat before he left to sulk in his room, which he’d accepted begrudgingly. He still refused to accept the fact that he was ill. You had attempted to research for long enough, disrupted in your focus each time Sam came in or out of the kitchen. You finally decided to check on him, whether he liked it or not.

“Sam? I have soup,” you say through his door, bowl in one hand and the other on the knob.

“I don’t like soup,” he grumbled hoarsely from the other side.

“Too bad.”

You push the door open, receiving a huff from him. He was laying back, four blankets over his lap and a fan pushing cold air towards him from a few feet away. Empty mugs littered his bedside table, along with a bottle of aspirin and a half empty pack of cold medicine capsules. A few tissues had been balled up and tossed around the trash can. You held in a snicker.

“Oh, how the mighty fall,” you quote. Sam sighs again, exasperatedly. You set the soup (mushroom) on his bedside table before turning to the TV.

“Love Island? Seriously?”

He furrows his brows at your judgement.

“It’s really not that bad. I mean, obviously it’s fake, but it’s somewhat entertaining. Better than whatever’s on cable, I guess.”

You shrug, picking up tissues and tossing them into the garbage before gathering the mugs, Sam watching your tidying carefully.

“You really don’t have to do that,” he says, turning the volume down on the TV.

“It’s fine,” you reply, carrying the stack of mugs out of the room, when Sam’s voice stops you.

“Can I… have more of that tea that you made earlier? Please,” He asks. He much preferred coffee over tea, but ever since you had made him earl grey, (with a bit of milk and honey) it had become a quick favorite.

You turn and smirk.

“You like it?”

“It’s not bad,” he said, shrugging.

Your smirk remains as you walk to the kitchen and set the empty mugs near the sink, setting the kettle back over the stove. For some reason, you were happy he liked your tea. And that he wasn’t being as stubborn as usual. You had been slightly caught off guard with his change in demeanor, from irritated to benign. After a few minutes of breathing in steam, the kettle whistles, announcing that it was finished boiling. You pour the water into one of the only remaining clean mugs and follow the routine of what you’d made before, when a shadow moving in the corner of your eye almost causes you to knock the still-hot mug over. The thing clears its throat roughly and you realize who it is.

“Jesus!” You say, steadying the mug.

Sam’s eyes meet yours, expression shifting from hard-set to attentive, brows furrowed slightly in concern.

“D’you need help?” He asks, taking the mug and holding it in his hands, looking down into the swirls of milk in the dark like he was searching for an untold prophecy. You watch in amusement as he sips the tea, making a face as it burns his tongue.

“It’s hot,” you add, smiling as he scoffs and sets the mug aside.

“You need to get back to bed.”

He rolls his eyes.

“What, so I have a curfew now?”

There goes soft, polite Sam. You sigh. This was going to be a long night. You usher him back to his room and somehow convince him to more medicine. He lays back on his bed, observing you as you lean in the doorway.

“You just going to stand there?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow.

You shrug.

“I can leave. You need to sleep anyways.”

“I’m not tired.“

You roll your eyes, when a grin starts to spread across your face.

“Y’know, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you get sick. Between the awful crap you come into contact with and your sleeping tendencies, you’d think there would’ve been at least one instance. But no. Somehow you avoid any illness. How’d you do it? Bribe a god? Is it something in those so-called ‘health shakes’ of yours? Honestly, it’s a medical mystery. You should be studied.”

Sam listens to your slight ramble, face growing more and more skeptical.

“Those shakes are actually good for you,” he replies.

“Out of everything I just said, that’s what you choose to defend?” You say, resisting the urge to scoff.

Sam rolled his eyes.

You look him over for a moment, before walking toward the desk to pick up the few newer balled-up tissues.

“Seriously though, you should at least try to get some sleep now. Even if you don’t want to. And, you’re probably too fatigued for the dreams-”

As soon as it slipped out you knew you shouldn’tve said anything. Sam looks to you as soon as it comes out, narrowing his eyes.

“Lemme guess— Dean?” He asks, irritation flooding his tone.

“No, no. I’ve heard you talk about them. With Dean. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, I swear,” you add, “but I’ve heard enough.”

You’re both quiet for a moment.

“You could talk to me about them, Sam. If you wanted to. My opinion of you won’t change,” you say, voice much lower than it was before.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just not your problem,” he says, sucking in a breath.

You sit down in the chair, facing him but avoiding his gaze.

“It can be our problem. All of us. This is really corny, but you’re not alone, Sam. Really.”

He sniffs.

“That was corny,” he agrees, laughing and then smiling slightly, “but… thanks.”

The lamp light cast shadows over his face, and you could see the dimples of his genuine smile. You suddenly wanted to kiss them, a thought that a you’re alarmed by, before it slips away.

“How’re you feeling?” You ask, leaning forward to press the back of your hand to his forehead. He looks surprised, eyes flicking up to yours. They stay there, his lips parted like he was going to say something but never does. You smile, and his smile returns, softer but still present. And despite his runny nose and fever-flushed face, you kiss him. It isn’t rushed, or passionate or lustful or wanton. It’s just a kiss. But it means so much. Finally feeling comfortable. Safe. Needed. He goes rigid for a moment, before finally catching up and kissing back. His lips are slightly chapped, but also soft. You kiss the sides of his lips, his dimples as he grins into you. Then he grabs your shoulders and pulls back slightly, breathlessly, still smiling.

“Fantastic… that’s how I feel. But also- sick. And I don’t want you to-”

You laugh, “Oh, so now you admit it?”

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester x reader #remitober 2024 !#flufftober #sam winchester #writing event #sam winchester fluff #sam x reader #sam winchester x you

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xvxblahhhxvx · 30 days ago

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I wanna talk about Odasaku for a second, and his character arc in Dark Era

I love Odasaku, and one of the things I love about him is that he's not just there to be the friend Dazai loved and lost, he's a really deep character who grows over the course of the Dark Era novel, and he learns how to speak up.

I feel like his arc is mitigated in the anime, and I'm not going to be blaming it necessarily, it's just that a book written in first person POV is able to achieve a lot more depth to the MC over the anime , which is forced in nature to take a more third person, observational take to the character.

Dark Era spoilers, obviously.

The first thing I would like to bring up is Oda's personality, and for that, I'm actually going to start this analysis off with using a quote from Beast, of all things, because this was honestly the best description of Odasaku ever.

The best way to describe Odasaku's personality is obliviously perceptive. He's really smart, and somehow a complete airhead at the same time. When you read either Dark Era or The Day I Picked Up Dazai, you can sense this in an instant. How this pertains to his relationship to Dazai in particular is that he sees things. He knows that Dazai is hurting deeply, he's one of the only people who sees past the dark exterior and the child deep within, but at the beginning of the book, he won't say anything. He puts Dazai on this pedestal in a sense, and doesn't believe that his input is warranted, and he says nothing, even when Dazai is a walking cry for help. After listening to Dazai casually admit to a suicide attempt via banging his head against a hard tofu block without batting an eye, that's when Ango arrives and tells him off.

However, the conversation quickly shifts, and the matter isn't brought up again.

The next time someone tells Odasaku to speak up when he's summoned to Mori's office, and is greeted with a rather...bizarre scene. Still, he's a low-grunt of the Mafia, and Mori is the boss, so he lets whatever stuff is going on fly, until he eventually interrupts, ignores whatever was going on, and announces his presence. Which prompts the following conversation:

Still, it's apparent he doesn't take these words to heart, and continues to perceive almost everything, but never comments. However, something soon happens which brings to the surface just how deeply ingrained Oda's reticence truly is.

After Oda was chased by the enemy snipers, most of them had enough holes in them never to rise again. Until one picks up a gun and aims it at Dazai, the enemy executive, all other backup too far away to offer any aid. Instead of trying to avoid it or stop it, Dazai walks right up to the enemy and says , paraphrased "shoot me, please shoot me." The whole time, Odasaku's desperation is palpable, and unlike the anime, he attempts to stop Dazai from this blatant self-destruction by calling his name and then screaming it, thinking that he felt they were a million miles apart. After the ordeal, when Dazai faces his friend again, he offers all his excuses, how he knew the sniper would miss, but Odasaku wasn't satisfied. And this is where we get the first hint at how Oda really feels about this:

He wants to say something. He wants to punch him for the stunt Dazai just pulled, because he sees the truth. He sees the child inside of him. But once again, he's restrained by the apparent gap between them in rank and mind. Another important thing to note is that throughout the novel, Odasaku considers their difference in rank a bigger barrier than Dazai does. He makes comments about Dazai helping him, the low runt in the Mafia, but the executive doesn't care. Here once again, Oda is inhibited by this apparent gap between them, but this scene is also growth for him in the sense that he understands that there's a problem here. Earlier, he passively listened to Dazai speak of suicide, but faced with a barely disguised attempt, with the true demons inside of Dazai's mind, he wants to stop him, to reach out, to tell him that it's not ok. But he can't. Not yet at least.

After a later incident, we're given a flat-out description of Odasaku's philosophy, and why he chooses to remain silent. When the two of them are at the restaurant, discussing the enemy, and when Dazai realizes they might actually be a formidable opponent, he laughs, elated with the notion that perhaps he might be beaten. And that's when we get perhaps the clearest look into Odasaku's mindset:

There's a lot to unpack in this interaction: first, we see how much Odasaku truly cares for Dazai, how much he wishes he could rid his heart of the darkness buried deep inside. But the problem is, he believes he can't. He doesn't think he could do anything, at first, he's not sure what to say to him because what could he say? He doesn't think he can reach him. And then the all important line "What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent." The thing is, not everyone sees everything. He doesn't realize this. He's so oblivious, he can't even comprehend that he's more perceptive than others, almost like Ranpo when he was younger. He doesn't know what to do with the information he receives but to ignore it, as he says, to see the distance and remain silent through it. But still, he makes a halfhearted attempt to reach out, but is interrupted when Dazai's phone rings, and doesn't bring it up again.

The biggest turning point is the kids and Gide. Gide, who drags Odasaku, a character who seemed to have the healthiest will to live, into the darkness. By removing all his hope, his proof that he could one day write a novel and give up killing forever, he brings Oda down into the pit of despair that he lives in, the pit that Dazai lives in. Where the sun won't shine again, and all that's left is revenge and then death. This is where the tables turn, and now Dazai is trying to save Odasaku from that darkness that he knows all too well. He tells him useless platitudes, cliches that must have been uttered to him over and over that he knows won't work, but Dazai is desperate to save the one he's on the verge of losing. But Odasaku won't let himself be consoled, and he goes on the suicide mission to fight Gide. And only now, now that he's about to die, now that he's in this place of solitude and despair, that he reflects on Dazai and their relationship.

It's only at the end does Odasaku wish he would have said something. When he understands the darkness, he sees Dazai for what he truly is - a lonely, sobbing child. And it's only after this realization that he should have invaded the solitude does he speak up when Dazai arrives, and tells him to be a good man. Because he realizes that the darkness is going to overwhelm him unless something changes, and with his dying breaths, Odasaku gives over the advice that changed his life, not a way out of the darkness, but a way to brighten it just a little, and make living a little more beautiful. Something only he could understand, having tried to walk that path for himself. It can't be that it never occurred to him earlier that Dazai's mental health may have benefited from a...change in vocation, but he never thought it was his business to say anything before. But now that the darkness has consumed him, that's the final push for him to finally say something and reach out to his friend at the last moment before it was too late.

And though I don't think the anime did all of this justice, the parallels between these moments will always kill me.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd odasaku #bsd analysis #dark era #bsd dark era #dark era bsd #odazai

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metalhoops · 2 years ago

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// Read Part 1 Here // Read Part 2 Here //

“Can you believe that bullshit, Stevie?” Eddie questioned, from his spot in Steve’s lap.

The two were together on the Munsons’ beaten-up couch. Steve’s day had dragged on like bare feet in river mud. As far as he could gather, Eddie’s had been the same. The room was hot with the ghost of summer, despite it being mid-March. Eddie’s hair between Steve’s fingers was soft and fizzed.

“Can I believe that Lucas refused to ditch the championship game for your fantasy club, that could be rescheduled? Yeah,” Steve paraphrased, feeling Eddie sit slightly as he craned his head to get a better look at Steve.

“You’re on his side, aren’t you?” Eddie mumbled, discontent clear in his voice. Steve didn’t like it. He hummed and leaned down to place a chased kiss on Eddie’s lips.

“You’re not meant to be on his side,” Eddie grumbled, laying back down.

It was rare that the two disagreed. The disagreement had to be big enough to get a rise out of Steve, but if the situation called for it, he’d put his foot down.

“It’s a big deal for him,” Steve reasoned, watching Eddie’s jaw clench.

He’d gotten to know the boy well enough over the past few months. He knew what would come next. If he didn’t act soon, he’d have to sit through a monologue on the sanctity of the game and Lucas’ betrayal at having chosen sports over his friends. Steve didn’t mind the rants. He liked that Eddie was passionate. He did, but Eddie was right. Steve was on Lucas’ side.

“I know this is a big deal for you, too. Getting to the end of the game or whatever, but can’t you just do it another day? It’d mean the world to the kid,” Steve reasoned.

He knew by the rounding of Eddie’s shoulders and the elongated groan that escaped his lips that he’d won.

“Fine, I’ll postpone a week, but you owe me big time. Next date you’re paying.”

Steve didn’t argue. Hell, he liked paying for Eddie. The guy normally wouldn’t have a bar of it.

“Wipe that smug smile off your face, Harrington. I get to pick what we do. I’m going to drag you to the loudest concert this side of the Mississippi the first chance I get.”

Steve nodded, twisting Eddie’s fraying curl between his fingertips.

“In the meantime, I was thinking of heading to the game,” Steve proposed.

Eddie groaned. He knew Steve too well. He knew what was coming next.

“You’re going to drag my ass to the basketball game, aren’t you?”

Eddie sat, switching to the far side of the couch to show his displeasure at the idea. However, he threw his feet in Steve’s lap, so he knew they were okay.

He thought they were okay.

“Lucas will want you to be there.”

“You know we can’t actually go together without people talking,” Eddie noted as Steve drove his thumb into the heel of the boy’s foot absentmindedly.

“I don’t care,” Steve stated.

He meant it. He’d given up on trying to be Hawkins’ golden boy years before. He just wanted to be the type of person he could live with.

“Maybe I do,” Eddie spoke, stopping Steve cold.

Steve worried. He always goddamn worried. Yes, he was waiting for the day he lost someone he cared about to the hell dimension, but it was more than that. He also worried about mundane stuff, like Eddie waking up and deciding they were bullshit. He’d been so sure he and Nancy were in love up until the second she told him they weren’t. That was a blow he wasn’t sure he’d ever heal from.

He must have gone too quiet, sat stock, still in the growing silence. Eddie sat up and tugged at the hem of Steve’s shirt until he lay down beside him. The two were crushed uncomfortably close, side by side. Eddie’s knee was tucked between Steve’s legs. Eddie touched Steve’s face. It was something only he could get away with. If it were anyone else, he would hate it.

“Not what I meant,” Eddie spoke, implicitly knowing where Steve’s train of thought had headed.

“I just meant, I care because I know if any dick head in town had enough brain cells to put two and two together, we’d be screwed,” Eddie began, taking a deep breath. Steve settled back, bracing himself for the monologue.

“Your parents would kick you out. Then the town would try to run me out with pitchforks. I’m not saying we’ll never... you know. I’m just saying we’ve gotta be smart about it. When I’m done with high school and we save up enough money to have an escape plan for when things go to shit, then we can toss around the idea of going to stupid basketball games together.” Steve sighed but nodded, understanding Eddie’s point of view.

Sometimes Steve got sick of being cautious. He got sick of waiting for other people to change their minds about something that didn’t have anything to do with them. He’d had some good goddamn sense knocked into him. He wished someone would do the same for everyone else.

“We can hang out after the game. I’ve got something to do first, but I’ll swing around your place after ten.” Eddie proposed.

Steve didn’t ask what Eddie was doing. If Eddie wanted him to know, he would’ve told him, and despite Steve’s many hang-ups, he trusted Eddie as much as he could trust anyone.

“Ten works,” Steve agreed.

The afternoon faded. Steve left Eddie to go to the game. He watched with his gaggle of kids by his side, glancing down at Robin in the marching band when her high school crush took to the stage with a shit-eating grin. He wanted to be there with Eddie, but this was a good consolation. He was sure he’d have bruises on his side by morning from Dustin constantly elbowing him in the side every time Lucas got the ball.

He was so damn proud of Lucas for scoring the winning point. Though Steve would admit, he’d have been proud of the kid if they’d lost by a mile. He was learning what love was about, love without contingencies. Eddie, Robin and the kids were teaching him the lessons he’d never picked up from his parents.

He got back to his place around nine, took a shower and switched on a mindless T.V. re-run to fill the silence while he waited for Eddie. He was two episodes deep when he felt the familiar sensation of dread begin to well in the pit of his stomach.

Eddie was two hours late when Steve’s worry shifted to full-blown panic. He tried to tell himself everything was fine, that Eddie got caught up and he’d walk through the door any minute. He picked up his bat from beneath his bed and paced the halls like an animal in an enclosure.

It was three in the morning when Steve resigned himself to the fact that Eddie wasn’t coming. He called the Munsons at the god-awful hour of the night, hoping beyond hope that Eddie would pick up. He’d be pissed off at Steve for waking him up, but then he’d let him know what was going on.

He didn’t answer.

Maybe Steve had read things wrong. Maybe he and Eddie had a fight. They were fighting. That’s why Eddie hadn’t shown up.

He lay in bed until the light of morning thawed his bones and set him free from his wide-eyed, paralytic state of unrest. Instead of heading to work, he drove to the trailer park, swerving the Beamer off the dirt track as the blue lights painted the horizon. There was a swarm of cop cars parked outside Eddie’s trailer. Steve’s body moved of its own accord, rushing through the swarm of cops to find Wayne Munson smoking at the picnic benches, a nearly imperceptible tremor to his fingers.

Steve didn’t ask what happened. Not right away. His mind was full of worst-case scenarios, none of which could be true until they were spoken into existence. For now, everything was unknown. For now, there was a chance Eddie was safe. He let his legs buckle beneath him as he sat beside Wayne, wondering when he’d made a habit of having panic attacks with Munson men near picnic benches.

“Was Eddie with you last night?” Wayne asked between drags of the cigarette.

Steve shook his head.

Eddie had told Wayne about them. Steve had sat across the breakfast table from the man half a dozen times, but they’d never really talked without Eddie in the room.

“Was he meant to be?” With a defeated sigh, Steve nodded.

“What happened?” He asked, at last, tired of drawing out the inevitable.

“I came home from my shift and there was a body.” All the colour fell from Steve’s face.

“Not Eddie’s. Some girl. Cops are sayin’ they think he killed her. I reckon we both know that ain’t true.” Steve didn’t know what to do with that information. Eddie was alive.

He listened to Wayne describe the scene with a growing feeling of dread. He’d seen enough of the Upside Down to understand that an eyeless girl, broken and bent like a marionette puppet and a missing boy seemed like part of its M.O. He was late for work.

He needed to let Robin and the kids know what was going on. He skirted past the police and drove to the video store. His body was working on autopilot. To his surprise, Dustin and Max were already there.

He watched as a disgruntled Robin tried to shoo them from behind the register. Steve cleared his throat, hoping beyond hope that the kids didn’t notice the red rim of his eyes as he placed his hands on his hips.

“What the hell are you two doing? Shouldn’t you be at school?” He tried to play it off like it was any other day, as though he was fine. Robin’s watchful eyes let him know she saw right through him.

“We’re looking for places Eddie could hide.” Dustin breathed, stopping Steve in his tracks. He shut up and let them explain.

“We were thinking he could be at Reefer Rick’s place,” Max supplied after Dustin finished his tangent. Steve remained uncharacteristically quiet.

“Alright, well, quick. Get your shit, if we’re doing this.” Steve grumbled, sliding off his video store vest and leaving it on the counter. Eddie wasn’t dead. That was something.

“That’s great and all, Steve, but we still don’t know where the hell we’re going,” Dustin argued at Steve’s heels as the four rushed out into the parking lot.

“I know where he lives,” Steve supplied, catching the disbelieving look shared between Max and Dustin. He hadn’t told the kids about him and Eddie.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. It was complicated. Everything about him and Eddie felt complicated. He didn’t want them to be a secret, but it was a necessity to keep them both safe, to keep Eddie safe. He’d told Robin because he knew she was safe. She was an extension of himself. He couldn’t not tell Robin, but the rest of the party was still in the dark.

“I didn’t think you did drugs, Steve,” Dustin spoke sceptically as they piled into the car.

“I don’t do drugs... Put on your seatbelt, Henderson.”

“Then why do you know where a notorious drug dealer lives?” Dustin pushed.

“Seriously, kid. I’m not backing out until you’re buckled in,” Steve warned. Now was not the time to get a D.A.R.E. presentation.

“Steve, should I be worried?” Dustin asked as Max spoke up,

“Of course he does drugs. He’s at Eddie’s place all the time.”

Both Steve and Robin turned back to look at the girl with wide eyes. Of course, Steve should’ve realised Max saw his BMW parked outside the Munsons’ trailer. He hadn’t been thinking.

“What? I wasn’t going to say anything because we’re all going through shit,” Max elaborated as Dustin shot her a look of utter betrayal.

“I didn’t think you guys were... friendly. I didn’t think you liked him,” Dustin gaped, finally buckling up.

Steve tried to drive carefully, keeping his eyes on the road and the car under the speed limit, only sometimes succeeding.

“What makes you think I don’t like Eddie?” Steve asked, trying to keep his mind off the very real potential that Eddie had just been dragged into the world he’d never wanted him to be a part of.

Eddie kept trying to push for answers about what happened to Steve. He kept promising he’d give them to him when the time was right, but he could never bring himself to do it. Sometimes the best thing was to remain ignorant. All the same, Steve couldn’t lie to him either, so they’d remained in limbo.

“You always drop me off at Hellfire, but you never say ‘hi’ to the guy."

“I wave at him,” Steve reasoned.

“From the car, Steve. It’s antisocial.”

It wasn’t long before the group pulled up outside of Rick’s. Steve knew where Eddie would hide if he were there. He led the group to the boathouse, searching the place for any sign of the boy. That led to Steve blindly poking around in the dark with an ore and an odd sense of hope. All of which was thrown out the window the second a body sprung up from the darkness to shove him against a wall.

It happened too quickly for Steve to process. There was a weight holding him in place and a sharp pressure at his throat. It wasn’t until Dustin’s calls that Steve made out Eddie’s body in the dim light.

“Woah, Eddie. It’s me. It’s Dustin,” the kid called from behind them.

The rest of the world fell away as he met Eddie’s wide, panicked eyes. He was safe. Scared as hell, but safe. The broken bottle Eddie held at his throat dropped from his hand in an instant, as did the ore from Steve’s grasp.

“It’s Steve, Eddie.”

Recognition flashed across Eddie’s face and suddenly Steve was being crushed again, this time under the weight of Eddie’s arms. The boy clung onto Steve as a drowning man would cling to driftwood. He buried his face into the nape of Steve’s neck and inhaled deeply. Steve could feel Eddie’s heart pounding against his chest. He snaked a hand around to hold the back of Eddie’s neck, forcing the boy to look at him.

“Hey. You’re okay. Just breathe with me for a second, alright?” Steve spoke, echoing Eddie’s words from the first night the two had gotten together. He watched as the rapid rise and fall of Eddie’s chest slowed.

“That’s it,” Steve soothed.

“Stevie,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“M’sorry I didn’t... I couldn’t go to your place, Steve. I wanted to,” Eddie continued, his hand having moved to grasp the fabric of Steve’s shirt.

“I didn’t... I didn’t know if it’d follow me. I don’t know what the hell happened, I... you won’t believe me,” He finished at last, resting his forehead against Steve’s.

It was slick with sweat but Steve didn’t care. The others in the room had fallen away entirely. There was only Eddie.

“I think I should probably talk to you about that thing we keep meaning to talk about,” Steve breathed, drawing circles in Eddie’s skin.

“Why now?” The boy asked, disbelievingly, a hysterical laugh slipping from his lips.

“Because no matter how crazy what you’re going to tell me sounds, I believe you.”

“Alright, anyone care to tell me what the hell is going on? I thought you two hated each other,” Dustin called, shattering the moment between them.

They pulled apart, though Eddie still kept his hand laced in Steve’s shirt while his hand migrated to the middle of Eddie’s back.

“Why would I hate my boyfriend?” Eddie breathed, clearly not thinking, hopped up on adrenaline.

“You’re what?” Dustin spoke, gawking open-mouthed at the boys.

Steve inhaled deeply, squeezed Eddie’s hip and levelled Dustin with his best, unimpressed glare, practically daring him to push on.

“That makes more sense,” Max muttered to herself as Dustin’s eyes continued to flicker between the two.

“Shut your mouth, Henderson. You’ll catch flies. We’ve got more pressing issues here,” Steve muttered, trying to work out how exactly he could explain everything to Eddie.

“I thought you were secretly dating Robin, not Eddie. What the hell, man? Neither of you told me,” Dustin pushed forward while Robin snorted, her nose scrunching at the idea.

“Really not the time, Henderson,” Eddie confirmed, his fingers worrying away at Steve’s shirt.

“That’s not fair. You’re not meant to be on his side, dude,” Dustin remarked.

“Can we all just focus for two seconds? Eddie, what happened last night at your trailer?” Steve questioned, somehow managing to wrangle the group back to the task at hand.

Steve knew by Eddie’s deep breath and trembling fingers what he was about to say. The world Steve had tried to protect the boy from had come to find him anyway. Now all Steve would do was be there to hold his hand as they walked through whatever hell the Upside Down had to offer.

Steve would keep him safe. Steve would always keep Eddie safe, no matter what.

#steddie drabble #steddie #multipost fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #bi steve harrington #back by popular demand #stranger things #stranger things 4 #kinda a fix it #season 4 retelling #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #ficlet #Metalhoops writes

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 5 months ago

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Okay for another rec. I know you are busy but I need to send you this before I forget it in like 20 minutes

Tangerine x reader smut and fluff?

You work with the Twins and over time you and tangerine develop a FWB sort of agreement. That is after missions and assignments you two always end up in a safe house where you blow some off some steam and come down from whatever hell you just went through.

After one smutty unwinding sesh, you can tell tangerine is still tense but exhausted. So without words you arrange yourself on one side of the bed and guise his heavy body to lie on you for a cuddle, you show him that it’s okay to be the little soon. You gently run you fingers through his hair and calm him down more eventually falling asleep. From then on, it’s rare and he won’t say it out loud but you know when he needs to to be held.

Im a sucker when guys are never used to that type of comfort. Never knew they can be the little spoon, or your weighted blanket. Like they are touch starved so when you show them that affection they are like WTF?! but melt into it.

frickin love LOVE love fics like this omg!! he so deserves it. thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

GIVE IN TO IT.

tangerine x implied fem!reader — fluff/ comfort

word count. 453

summary. he’s not used to being the one to receive affections, so you take it upon yourself to change that after noticing he looks down (paraphrasing from the ask)

Tangerine is very rarely the kind of guy that’s open about the way he feels, about what is actually going on in his head. He often brushes off concerns and questions, dismissing any kind worry as he felt it wasn’t worth the hassle.

You learnt rather quickly through your no strings attached agreement, that he’s almost reluctant about being the one to receive love and care, and that he’d much prefer being the one to give. And though you both promised nothing else would come of this situation – that it would strictly remain physical, you couldn’t help but want to be the reason to let down his guard. To let him absorb that love he ever so clearly needs.

Safe houses after missions were the prime spot in which you’d both let off some steam – delve into your purely physical relationship.

But tonight, you could tell something was different with Tangerine.

After you both finished, he wasn’t like his usual self: he didn’t bring you in for a cuddle, he didn’t jump at the offer to clean you up, he didn’t paw at your hips – begging you to stay in his room for the night. He kind of just layed there, catching his breath, absentmindedly staring at the ceiling above.

It was a worrying sight really, and it wasn’t something you felt equipped to deal with. You’ve never had a chance to learn how to combat it before.

You knew he was tired, exhausted even. He looked as if something was weighing him down, like something was on his mind.

And so, you scooch into his side, slipping an arm under his neck – like you were repositioning him, silently instructing him to turn into you. At first, he’s rigid, almost reluctant to cave in.

But when you hum softly, it only gives him that push he needs to give into the touch. He rolls over so he’s on his belly, half of his weight resting on your side – the other half on the mattress, his arm draping across your middle.

You envelop your arm around his head, palm soft and gentle as it grazes over his hair, like the act was solely to soothe him. You other wraps around his back, stroking up and down his smooth, bare back, following the curve of his spine.

He sighs faintly at the touch, a gentle blissed exhale telling you it was what he needed. He just needed to be held, even if he didn’t know it himself.

And as you lovingly stroke him to sleep, soothing and calming and winding him down – you knew you had just passed a line. Past a point of no return in your sexual agreement.

Clearly, this was something more.

#tangerine #tangerine x reader #tangerine comfort #tangerine bullet train #tangerine x you #tangerine fanfiction

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friedtyrantbasement · 1 day ago

Text

Tough conversations and good distractions

M reader

Cast: Yizhuo, Aeri, Yooyeon (not mentioned often)

Tags: smut, top reader, cheating, angst, marrital issues, drama, multi part series

WC: 3.8k

This felt like a repeat of how your parents argued. Your tie feels tight around your neck, this is what you never wanted to feel at any point in your adult life.

Your marriage was going through a rough patch for a while. Like, a seriously long while.

Yizhuo and yourself had been together for almost a year now, and at the beginning of your marriage you felt like nothing could go wrong. Of course, the honeymoon period didn't last long.

It's not like you try your best to fix it either in all honesty. You work in a fast-paced corporate job and the last thing you need to come home to is your wife asking you incessantly about who you've been conversing with and other questions you feel like you answered a million times.

You don't like to lie but distractions were needed to help keep you in your right mind.

“Baby, for the last time. The only one I have my eyes on is you. I swear it.” You learned to give that speech almost every time she felt insecure. It was getting over used, you might need to paraphrase it soon.

On top of Yizhuo’s knack for insecure behaviour, you have to deal with her family's high expectations. You're the vice president of your older brother's company but that wasn't enough for your in-laws. They wanted you to start your own company, be risky but that just wasn't who you were. You're a laid back guy who enjoys doing his job and one hell of a good one at that and getting paid without making any huge decisions that could affect other people at large.

“God, I just don't understand why you can't talk to me! You act like I'm not here for you when I tell you that you can always talk to me.” You want to roll your eyes at her words. Yizhuo would look impeccable if it weren't for the fact that you thought she had gone deaf in one ear.

“No sweetheart, I said that I simply have nothing to talk about, not that I can't talk with you.” You say gripping the dinner table you're currently leaning back on as your wife sits on the couch away from you. Yizhuo had been pressing you for answers on why you were so quiet these days but you just weren't up for it.

She licks her lips, her tongue sliding over her plump bottom lip and squeezing her eyes tightly as she blinks, as if she was calming herself down.

“I just have been…. Hearing things.” She starts.

“What things, Yizhuo?” You say her name, which makes her shift in her seat. Now she's rubbing her hands as if she's going to hear heartbreaking news.

“I've heard… that you've been seeing another woman. Specifically, that new girl on your work team.” Oh lord. You want to rip your hair out. ‘Is she seriously accusing me of sleeping with a university intern that I haven't even met?’ Your thoughts laugh at the situation, it's hilarious at this point.

The person she should worry about is the one closest to her.

“Oh really? And who told you that? Your little spy Aeri? She barely knows left from right and how many times has she been wrong about shit like this? Huh? Drop it, Yizhuo. I'm serious.”

You were dead serious, tired and not in the mood to be playing bullshit with your wife this early in the morning right before work. “Fine! But I still don't get why you just can't say ‘No honey, I'm not cheating’. Why can't you just say that to me?” Yizhuo says, throwing her hands up in defeat as she gets up to head to your shared bedroom.

A sigh leaves your mouth. This has gotten ridiculous. “You know what? I don't think that no matter what I say or do you're ever going to believe me. That's why, Yizhuo. So I'm going to work now and I would recommend you to drop this nonsense before I get home.”

You don't even let her say something back. You grab your work bag, car keys and you're gone with the wind. Now you're in the worst possible mood ever, sorry to all of your coworkers today.

—

“What's up with the VP today? He's crashing out over a few small mistakes.” One of your coworkers whispered in the break room. “Isn't he married to that fine woman? What issues could he have?” Another one said, edged with slight envy.

“Probably just some troubles in paradise. It's their one year mark soon. Everything goes to shit after that, I would know.” A supervisor says, his voice quieting with the last part of his dialogue. As if it was scripted, the workers collectively release a sigh, remembering the way they used to formerly be with their partners.

Of course, there was always someone keeping an ear out for a good conversation—minus the collective sigh at the end—especially when it has to do with someone she's been keeping an eye out for.

You are half near losing your mind. The argument from this morning and now your team was making numerous mistakes regardless of how small they were. ‘Fuck, I need to smoke’ You think getting out of your chair that you'd been glued to for the past four hours. Besides, the air and the person waiting for you will clear your head.

You press the elevator button a few times and that small action makes you wonder just when you have become such an impatient person. You used to love a good wait time especially when you were about to do something you had promised yourself you would never do again. Fortunately, the elevator opens, inviting you to enter it and whisk yourself away from the stress of your life.

“Hold it, please!” You hear a feminine voice call out, her heels making a light jog towards the elevator which you hold your arm out, keeping it open. “Thank you so much. I wasn't ready to wait another 10 minutes for the elevators.” The black haired girl breathes out and you chuckle nodding your head at her.

“I hear it. I still can't believe they only have two elevators for a fifteen floor building.” You say, getting a better look at the woman who's in a neat pencil skirt and a button up shirt. “What's your name? Haven't seen you before.” You mention extending your hand to the woman.

She takes your hand shaking it. “The names Yooyeon. Don't bother introducing yourself, I think we'll end up seeing each other more often.” Just then the elevator opens cueing her leave. Yooyeon waves as she steps off the elevator. You watch her walk away. Your eyes are unnecessarily narrowing down on her ass as the elevator closes.

You breathe out a sigh, it has been a while since you had an easy going conversation with someone. You think for a split second just as you enter the rooftop. “Well well well, look who we have here.” You hear a sensual voice purr.

“Oh my, is that my wife's makeshift CIA investigator? Goodness, what do I owe the pleasure, Aeri.” You say sarcastically walking beside the woman, pulling out a cigarette to which Aeri lights it up for you. The woman dangerously close, you can smell her Chanel perfume as her eyelashes bat at you.

“Oh dear, have I ruffled your feathers on such a pleasant morning, sir?” She says, coyly placing her hand on the lapel of your suit. You remove her hand and breathe out your smoke onto her face. “Do you find yourself happy confusing my wife?” She fans the smoke away from her and smiles at you, if it were anyone else they would have misunderstood her smile as a genuine one.

“I enjoy it just as much as you like filling me up.” Her words make you clench your jaw. Your hand that does not have a cigarette lodged between two fingers grips her face. “Watch that mouth. You're much more careless than I thought.” Aeri only grips your blazer and throws your hand away from her face.

You breathe in smoke again, holding it in and then you blow it out. You know what's going to happen after this. You know you can't trust yourself with this woman, and she knows that just as well as you do. So you step out your cigarette and press your lips against hers. Aeri meets you with fervor and passion.

“You know you can't get enough.” She whispers haughtily, confident in herself. Unfortunately, you know she's right and so you burst out laughing to her confusion. Aeri almost gets the chance to ask you what's wrong with you but you kiss her again. Your tongue running over her lips, sucking on her bottom lip, and just like that Aeri feels like she's the only one in the world. Pressing chaste kisses all over her lips and then you slide your tongue into her mouth. You hear her release a moan, a pretty one at that. It rings in your ear, letting you grip the back of her neck pushing her as close as you possibly could.

It's an addiction, one that feels so good, one that you doubt you could stop. So you don't. You're driving Aeri to one of her father's numerous hotels to check in to so you can take your fingers out of her cunt and stick something else in.

“Fuck- drive faster, you piece of shit.” The name calling makes you scoff. “Didn't I tell you to watch your fucking mouth earlier?” You curl the pads of your fingers to hit her spot. Aeri's back arches, the back of her hand falling lightly over her mouth as she tears up. Finally, you achieve your desired silence minus the moans and ‘Fuck’ and ‘Mm right there’ ‘s coming from Aeri's mouth.

Unfortunately, you reach your destination all too quickly. You slide your fingers out of her sopping folds and she shoots you a glare but nevertheless gets out of the car, walking a few paces ahead of you. The receptionist is used to the two of you and your monthly rendezvous with the Chairman's daughter.

“Don't take so long, you know what we're here for and I’d rather not spend more time with you than I'd like to.” Aeri says, as you zip her black short dress down. You roll your eyes and push her onto the bed without much regard for her. You throw off your blazer and pull your tie off only to unbutton the first button. You crawl closer to her, you bury your face into her neck, pressing a hot kiss against her pale skin.

By the time you're done making love with her neck, your belt has been unbuckled and your pants are off. Aeri's fingers pull the waistband of your boxers down with some help of yourself. “Come on, put it in.” She whines into your ear, you aim your length at her entrance but don't do as the vixen wants.

“So fucking whiny for it, why don't you beg? Act a little cute for me, won't you? It's been so hard calming my wife down because of your evil whispers.” Aeri stiffens at the mention of Yizhuo. You can see her eyes flicker, you wonder if that's if she feels bad or if she doesn't like how much you're talking.

But the thought of reality doesn't last long before you feel Aeri press her dainty and magically gorgeous hand on your chest pushing you down onto your back. Aeri unbuttons the rest of your blouse at a torturously slow speed, which you would never admit turned you on a bit. She presses hot kisses down your torso starting at your jaw, so near to your lips and further down she went.

As a natural occurrence would have it she landed just where your lower stomach is. Her tongue flat against your stomach, giving it small kisses and kitten licks. You just wish she'd go a bit lower so you hold a hand to the back of her head and try to escort her way to your hard, pre cum leaking cock.

“You want me to suck on him? Act a little cute for me, won't you?” Referring to your cock as ‘him’ and the sarcastic repetition of your words. The two of you lock eyes for a moment before you feel the need to kiss her again. So you do as you desire but not before you get what you want.

You wrap a hand around your cock and push it closer to her lips. Aeri looks up at you and you tilt your head slightly with a pout on your lips, as your back rests against her head board. She gives in to your little show and wraps her lips around your tip, her tongue makes small circles around the head before letting more of your length slide into her mouth. You suck in a deep breath as you feel Aeri apply suction.

Your hand naturally returns to the back of her neck politely urging her to take more of your shaft. Aeri knows the desperation that you're displaying and she enjoys it but more than anything she enjoys seeing you crumble, that mask of being the all responsible, perfect family man and vice president just falls off under her touch.

Though this is something that she knows will never last forever, she gives in taking you into the back of her throat. She takes your cock whole, letting it hit the back of her throat and she lets her mouth head back to the tip. Aeri repeats this over and over. No regard for the way she’ll probably gag at having you so deep.

As if she wants to consume you whole, monopolise you, own you, the greed that she feels is most likely consuming herself but she delusions herself into thinking that she is not affected by the way your eyes are stuck onto hers.

Aeri can feel your hips twitch, as if you’re warning her unconsciously of your orgasm. Her tongue slides over your member, carefully paying attention to it in the most romantic way possible. The poised woman removes your cock from her warm mouth allowing your white hot to land on her face in untimed spurts. Your hand grabs some tissues on the bedside table of the bed to pass to your accomplice. To which she takes and carefully dabs her face, erasing any residue left.

Now you think for a moment, ‘She looks pretty.’ but you don't allow yourself to think any further, after all Aeri would tie a noose around your neck if she knew you had such thoughts, soft thoughts. You lay the woman down on her back, the rest of work would be on your part so you slide on a condom looking down at the woman under you.

“A man with no arms could move faster than you, don’t waste my time.” Aeri spits at you and you scoff at her words, lowering yourself and pressing your cock head against her wet entrance. Her back arches and her arms wrap around your neck as your cock enters her, filling every space in her cunt.

“Fuck, it’s been so long.” You groan as you bury your head into the crook of her neck, your hand slides under the back of her thigh caressing her softly as you fuck her. Aeri’s small swears and loud moans fill the hotel room along with your groans. Your hips rock back into her pelvis, and you can feel Aeri's small movements in an attempt to match your thrusts. You're stretching her out in ways she could never imagine. The tightness of her sopping pussy has you groaning out in awe.

Your eyes are stuck on the way Aeri's breasts move every time you fuck her. You throw her legs over your shoulders and get as close as humanly possible, your face perched between the woman's perfect boobs. Your mouth latches onto one of her nipples, sucking it, licking it, and giving it all your attention and focus. Aeri yelps and mewls, her luxurious sounds of pleasure leaking out of her pretty lips only encourages you to continue working her breasts. But you never forget to hit the deepest part of her pussy, you find yourself unable to stop giving the most concentrated strokes known to mankind.

“Go- god, keep going, you- fuck so perfect for me.” Aeri says as her hands manage to touch your face and bring you to focus on her face, that's contorted in the ecstasy that you bring her. Both of your lips find one another with some struggle of space, yet your tongue slides into her perfectly curated mouth and you spend time working her mouth. “You're the one who's so fucking perfect.” You praise her and you can tell she enjoys the words of affirmation after all, her cunt is tightening around you.

As if you would die if you did not seek pleasure from Aeri you continue to chase your high. Despite hers being long reached, Aeri can only let out gasps and whines asking you to give her a break. “I'll give you a break when you deserve one. I haven't even cum yet.” Your hips jerk again into her and her head falls back. The sounds of her moaning are rivaled by the sounds of your balls slapping harshly against her skin, additionally the wet sounds coming from her pussy. “You're acting like you don't enjoy this, you hear that? Those sounds are all yours. Don't get so fucking arrogant, you whore.” you spit out cruelly, and she responds with a sobbed out apology.

A small smile paints your lips, the feeling of pride swelling in your chest. Who else but you could bring the Chairman's daughter down a notch other than you? If the world was your oyster this is what you would be doing for the rest of your life. “That's what I thought. Don't forget your fucking place. And tell me where your place is?” You egg her on, you know Aeri knows the answer to this question. Her eyes look away from yours and she can only bite her lip. So you stop thrusting for a moment, which causes a whiny mewl to leave Aeri's lips.

“My place is..” she takes her time pronouncing the words. It only increases your satisfaction of watching the proud woman suddenly melt into a girl who only has her eyes on you. “...below you.” A smile slaps onto your face, your hand lands on her hair, caressing her so softly. You know she's waiting for her reward and it's your job to give her what she wants.

You bottom out in Aeri's cunt, filling her up, a cuss falls out of her mouth. Your hand goes under her thighs and pushes her knees beside her head. Your fucking her rough and murderously fast, she's practically screaming. Your cock is hitting a perfect spot, your teeth are gritting together. “This is what good girls get when they act good.” You say, your voice low and deep as Aeri reaches yet another earth shattering orgasm. Yours is on the way soon, with the way your balls are tightening. You slide out of her, you take off your condom, then you push yourself back in.

“No- wait, you can't. That's too-” Your hand falls over your mouth. “Shut the fuck up, I'm not cumming inside of you, dumb whore. I'm just feeling your insides a bit.” And to your expectations, it felt so good, you should've done this from the start. You're orgasming soon though so you slide out your cock again and let yourself finish on her tits and face.

Both of you are panting, completely out of breath. “What's with you today?” Aeri says, obviously annoyed with you, but you couldn't bother to care. “My wife and I have an interview to get to. I'll shower first.” You ignore her question and take a quick peek at your watch that is currently the only piece of clothing you have along with your ring. “Well, since you didn't read the list of interviewees. My father and I are also getting interviewed. We have no time.” You know what Aeri means and you smile.

She rolls her eyes and grabs you by the elbow and leads you to the washroom. Suddenly you feel like you have an extra 20 minutes to spare. So long as you get another blow from her. “Let's get each other clean, Uchinaga.”

—

“Do you know how much we're running late?!” You hear Yizhuo say from the second floor of your mansion. “Honey, we're fine. It's a 25 minute drive.” You were thankful that your limo at least had champagne in there to keep you company as your wife freaks out over the time.

Your eyes catch Yizhuo peeking down at you from the ledge of the stairs. Her face coloured in seriousness with her full lips pursed into an unhappy one. You lock eye contact with her and pull out one of your award winning smiles, the one that you'd use during the interview.

“Get off your phone, and tell the chauffeur to pull around.” Yizhuo's voice is elegant and perfect, and you know she means it. “Now, please.” Though it doesn't sound like Yizhuo is asking, rather she's demanding, and of course you comply. You go outside to see your chauffeur, an older gentleman with grey hair and a heartwarming aura.

“Pull around the limo, the one with alcohol. Thank you, Greg.” He nods at your words with a polite smile on his face, and he's off to get the car. You turn around to go grab your blazer and Yizhuo's fur coat off the couch.

“Sweetheart, thank you for getting my coat. You're perfect.” Yizhuo says, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek as you open the door outside for her. “Anything for you, my beloved.” You say, holding the coat open for her to slip on easily, which she does. You throw on your black coat easily. Yizhuo's coat is black fur, befitting of her white cocktail dress.

“You look gorgeous, I'm almost hurt that someone else will see you looking this good.” You compliment, earning a smile and an elegant giggle from your wife. “And all of this will be yours when we get home. As long as you're on your best behaviour.” She says coyly, and you could practically feel your cock hardening under your pants.

You couldn't wait to get this over with, get home and collect your prize. Whether you would live up to deserve it… well we'll find out.

#ning yizhuo #ningning #ningning x reader #giselle x reader #giselle #aeri uchinaga #aespa #aespa x reader #M reader

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1moreff-creator · 3 months ago

Text

DRDT CH2 EP15 First Impressions

46 minutes. Closing Argument inbound.

It’s time.

Spoilers for CH2 EP15. CW: Hanging, murder, references to eating disorders, strangling, blood and wounds.

I actually wasn’t home when this started airing, but I got there literally five minutes after the hour so… Wee!

Before I jump in: I think the time frame of 46 minutes points to Ace NOT being the culprit, since it feels too long for just him, but it’s impossible for us to know yet. I’d say I still think he’s more likely than Eden, but only barely.

Ace: “Are you kidding me?” Isn’t that a different sprite from the end of Ep14? Hilarious if true.

“That’s so inane-“ Big vocabulary words!

Eden: “No… It must have been Ace. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure.” GIRL WHY ARE YOU SO SUSPICOISY?!?! (<- I noticed the typo but it illustrates my mental state atm).

“He was the one stalking me!” Huh? Wait so that wasn’t just Teruko? Wait wait wait how long does Eden think Ace was stalking her for?

“I always had the feeling that someone was following me around.” For how long? Ace was unconscious in the referenced scene!

[Rose agrees with Eden] Everyone’s jumping too fast I don’t think Ace is the culprit chat. It might be Edenover actually.

Ace: “That was not me, and you have no way of proving it.” I know! Everyone’s jumping way too fast to this conclusion!

Teruko: “There’s a very narrow window when the fish could’ve been taken” (Paraphrased). FISH ALIBI! But it’s way too early to be decisive, there’s forty fucking minutes left. Still, I want to know; Nico, did you eat with Hu and Eden or not?

“Any earlier, and Nico would have noticed the missing fish.” How many people know about Nico’s account btw?

Veronika: “And isn’t that why you took the fish at all? To frame Nico?” Yo that’s what I thought! Vero and I think alike! (<- This means bad things for me).

Veronika: “Yes true.” Look at that little smile :)

[J and Levi discuss Ace’s mindset to take the tape] Yeah this is the hardest part for Ace!Culprit.

Eden: “He did run off very quickly…” asjgeb (I’m losing the ability to form coherent thoughts).

“Ace had a whole day to figure out the murder.” (P.) Me and Teruko think alike again!

“Why *were* you in the gym…?” I’ve heard this question before! Teruko thinks like thebadjoe! Different context sure but they’re both smart so it checks out :)

[Levi rebuts] Yeah… the tape-taking’s still weird.

Ace: “…” Ooh, someone’s still feeling things at being defended by Levi!

“No one can prove this but yourself.” True, that’s the main issue with this line of reasoning, and why I haven’t been putting much thought into it.

“…you took the tape for first aid.” ivibells thinks like Teruko! (Check comments of linked post). Was not expecting that particular line of reasoning to show up. I wonder if Teruko’s been forced to use tape for first aid in the past? Would make sense.

“I do it all the time.” Oh yeah she does lol. Shit that happens with this format of reaction post :p

“Devil’s Pubes” Okay funny, but is “Devil’s Proof” a commonly used term? Reminder to me to look into a thing.

{Looked into it. Yes it’s a commonly used term. Proceed as normal}

“(visibly shaking)” New Whit sprite! Also super funny.

“Tch…” Ooh… New Ace sprite! And it’s cool!

Interesting lines around here, just don’t have much to say.

Teruko: “Show me your neck scars.” What the fuck is she cooking?

Ooh, now Ace is looking super sus…

There was blood on Ace’s hand, not just a saturation glitch! Good catch venus-is-thinking and accirax!

Teruko: “Even if you’ve been pretending that you’re fine, it still hurts. Right?” No genuinely where the fuck is she going with this.

I noticed this in the last episode too, seems like the dev’s grown fond of chest closeups for emotional moments. Interesting!

“…you would know to tape Arei’s hands…” Teruko this isn’t evidence. Like, you may be 100% right, but this isn’t evidence.

“That’s the dumbest bullshit I’ve ever heard!” Honestly yeah. Teruko’s reasoning here is sorta crazy.

“You seem stressed. They’re only wounds.” Veronika is being a good ally to Teruko out of nowhere but we love to see it.

Yay unhinged Vero laughter! I love that voice clip.

Nico: “…” “Sorry” as a voice clip? Huh? I thought they weren’t sorry-? I’m confused, I’ll maybe look into it after we get through the main event.

Also the more time passes without explaining the pieces of evidence left, the worse it’s looking for Ace.

[Teruko backing down.] Actually pretty cool character moment. Yeah she would understand almost dying sucks, and with the way things are going, her word would always go kinda uncontested at this point in the trial.

Ace: “Woow, Ace is actually being helpful!” The sass is immaculate. I have no idea where this trial’s going yet!

“There’s something wrong with thinking the murder was done to frame Nico.” (P.) Oh shit is he gonna bring up the fact that taking down the pulley system and hanging Arei from the swing set makes no sense in that context?

“There’s no way I could have accessed turpentine…” Ah, so not that. Bad line of reasoning my guy, imo. Still curious to see the answer to this debacle.

Hu: “You’re always attacking Nico like this!” Bro.

Nico: “I still have the turpentine in my room. I’m sorry.” Kinda huge. Also, they did apologize to Rose when they didn’t apologize to Ace. Nice character building and huge W for the Rosenico enthusiasts.

“Obviously.” First David line and he’s already calling someone an idiot! Fun stuff.

“I-di-ot.” Why does David get so many good lines?

“You are a jockey. And that’s a fact.” Charles with the groundbreaking revelations!

“That means you strong.” (P.) Yeah according to strength chart the guy is the third strongest cast member. Even above Arei. Hmmm… Foreshadowing or not?

Ace: “If it wasn’t arm wrestling against Xander, nah I’d win. Wait that’s not the point!” (P.) Fucking hilarious character this guy!

“You could have strangled Arei unconscious.” (P.) Yeah I never got the argument that turpentine was required for unconsciousness. The hanging would have covered wounds on her neck.

“Full offense, but Ace is too much of a wimp to kill with his bare hands.” (P.) David’s funny and that’s not new. What’s also not new is him being confusing even when he’s not actively stirring up shit. Do you want to lose the trial or not? Do you think Ace did it or not? Why are you like this?

Charles: “Your [David] input is unnecessary.” I’m gonna miss Charles when he gets poisoned by strychnine in CH3.

Interesting discussion around this part, I just don’t have much input and it’s been an hour and I still have 30 mins of video to go :v

Nico: “Why was Arei hanging from the swing set?” Thank you.

Teruko: “Pinning the crime on Nico is plan B but also the main plan.” (P.) I figured, but how smart are we assuming Ace to be again?

Eden: “Is Ace even capable of doing a feat of strength like that?” And THAT’s innocent behavior. It MIGHT be Aceover.

[Eden continues defending Ace] It’s Aceover.

“If you can talk, the neck wound isn’t so serious.” (P.) We’re back with another round of “character speaks with way too much authority about something super weird!” How many neck wounds have you seen, Teruko?

Rose: “Isn’t Ace kinda weak?” Why are we roasting him- Never mind it’s Ace he gets roasted daily. Proceed.

“He was beaten by Xander-“ Yeah ‘cuz Xander’s a freak- “and he’s small and doesn’t eat a lot.” (P.) Uh… Rose… did you forget what his secret was or did you not realize that this might be a bit insensitive?

J: “Seconded. He’s a scrawny little guy.” While dunking on Ace is kinda funny, if Ace can’t hoist Arei up with the spinny thing, then we’re kinda fucked unless Levi!Accomplice rises from the ashes from out of nowhere.

J: “Isn’t Ace… too stupid?” I love that this is an actual argument that not only the fandom used, but the characters brought up as well :p

Ace: “…” PFFT-

The voice acting in the following section is fucking fantastic all around. Also Ace accidentally fucking himself over out of anger at being insulted is hilarious.

Ace: “…What?” Another new sprite, and I still have no idea where this is going in terms of culprit! How?!?!

Again all the voice acting is just fantastic. And also this is kinda funny.

Charles: “I disagree with Ace.” Yeah “he’s weak and stupid” isn’t great reasoning.

Whit: “Plus you call me stupid all the time.” Charles tsundere confirmed?! (Trick question: It always has been confirmed).

Charles: “When other people [judge with intelligence bias], it truly gets on my nerves.” Interesting character tidbit here, wonder if there’s a bigger reason for that or not.

“I’m the only one reasonable enough to do that.” (P.) Oh there was a reason PFFT-

“Will you test his IQ…?” (P.) Charles really hit them with “nice argument senator, why don’t you back it up with a source?”

[Charles and Levi team up to explain jockeying] Interesting team up, and good points! I guess Teruko’s been hogging that brain cell a bit too much these last few episodes, so it makes sense for it to be Charles’ turn, huh?

Whit: “The Kuning-Dooger effect…” Charles: “Not what it’s called.” HHAHAHA!

Charles: “Ace is the killer. Don’t refute me unless you like being incorrect.” (P.) Wow that is certainty goddamn!

“Then simply do not be wrong in the future.” Yo why’s he so funny for?

My brain is kinda fried as Ace and Levi continue to argue the point, but “between you and me, we both know who’s really a murderer” is kinda crazy.

[Non-Stop Debate] WOOO!

[Truth Bullet: Laundry Ball] Oh? Are we gonna talk about getting the rope over the rafters? Or am I wrong to assume that’s how this was used?

“In the context of Nico’s murder” (P.) Love the little arrow to Nico xD

“Nico hung Ace by stepping on a stepladder…” (P.) I think I know where this is going!

[Truth Bullet Fired] YEEAH BABY!

We’re putting the image in a fifth post! >:D

“If you starch it up with laundry starch…” (P.) Aww… there goes thebadjoe’s idea on the starch. I kinda liked it, but this makes sense too. At least I called it as a possibility in that post I linked before! Kinda…

“How could I have thrown it?” (P.) Slingshot idea coming in? I don’t know how the episode still has like twenty minutes left if that’s the case. Maybe the Closing Argument is much longer than I’m expecting?

Arturo: “But there’s other evidence you threw it up there.” Oh yeah I kinda forgot the lights were part of it :v

Ace: “Bullshit.” It’s Aceover. Breakdown! Breakdown! (<- Reference to the theory that the JoJo’s song from the playlist refers to Ace).

The Ace shouting scene (that doesn’t narrow it down but you know what I mean) is fantastic, since the voice acting is on point as usual. We’re really spoiled in that aspect. And Ace’s victim complex is on full display, it’s really cool.

ARGUMENT ARMAMENT?!?!?! OH IT’S SO OVER! The art is really cool! :D

By the way, I’m gonna call that the final attack will be the elastic band thing Ace took from the gym in CH2 EP2 for the slingshot idea on the ball of clothes.

All the lines here are pretty standard, but I like them!

[Using a slingshot] Wooo! Last minute theory was correct! Shoutout that Reddit user who figured this out around the same time I did (again linked in the “select two” post I’ve already put a link to). Great minds think alike!

Teruko: “It’d be impossible for anyone to throw the weight…” (P.) Yeah right who would believe such a thing (<- Genuinely argued Eden could have potentially done it).

“Specifically, you could have made a slingshot out of this.” [Shows elastic band] Teruko where were you keeping that? Up your ass? Who brought this to the trial room?

[Levi explains, mechanism shown] Oh that mechanism makes significantly more sense than anything I was coming up with :v Still got three main idea though!

Ace: “You’re lying to verify Teruko’s made-up story!” Oh oh, someone’s desperate…

By the way the glove has yet to be explained and I find this very funny.

Ace: “Where would I have stored the water jugs?” (P.) …In the playground with literally the entire rest of the mechanism?

“SHUT UP, ACE!” SLAY TERUKO!!!

“We determine who lives and dies by majority vote…” (P.) New sprite? New cool sprite? Also, this line reminds me; do y’all think Teruko will received two votes again? I think she will.

“The point of the trial…” Also a new sprite I think? And I’m loving Teruko here, but how is this gonna lead to a Closing Argument? :v

“Are you silent now?” So many new sprites! New Ace sprite right after too.

[Ace giving up] Didn’t wanna comment because augh… this hurts… My heart goes out to all you Ace stans out there. I know you guys have a reputation as some of the most dedicated fans around, so I hope y’all are doing alright. I liked Ace quite a bit too, so this also hurts a lot on my end, but damn…

“Who do you think I am, you?!” Well at least he got one last good shout at Hu in :,D

Veronika: “What do you mean?”

Ace: “I’m definitely gonna die if I don’t escape. Everyone hates me, right?” (P.) Oh, wasn’t Veronika who told him that? That constantly picking fights would get him killed? I wonder how she’s gonna feel about that, if it’s explored. Genuinely curious, Vero’s hard to read.

“Veronika was right.” Yeah I really should let the dialogue play more often, huh :p? What I said stands though.

“A part of me wishes Nico had succeeded.” (P.) AGH!-

“But still!” New sprites going crazy!

This entire trauma dump is more or less what I imagined Ace’s motive would be. Super sad still, goddamn I can’t wait for his Bonus Episode if he gets one. My guy needs to talk to Good Person Mai stat.

“…I’m a coward who can’t fight my own fate.” FATE THEMES GO INSANE!!!

Eden: “But that’s so selfish!” Man I’m actually really glad I can stop reading Eden’s lines with suspicion now. I always kinda felt bad about it even if I thought the evidence against her merited it :v

[J’s response] You know, accirax and venus have been counting the amount of times J has been anti-murder and they were (as usual) cooking hard. I don’t know why she gets all the “murder’s bad” lines, but it helps build my “J will become primary support” agenda so.

“I know that.” Auch.

“Arei… She was a piece of shit, too.” Is he about to reveal he heard the last of the Arei-David conversation.

Also “good person” drop! Probably one of the last of the chapter!

“But at least she was trying. […] I really am a piece of shit, huh?” So. Much. Pain.

“Oh my. How tragic.” Holy shit Veronika smiling after no one denies Ace sucking is crazy. I know it’s far from the most concerning thing she’s done but this feels so sinister. I guess she doesn’t even care that she might’ve planted the idea of murder in Ace’s mind, huh? I love her <3

“… just vote already!” Are we even gonna have a Closing Argument at this point? Who the hell is gonna ask for a full recap? Eden for the memory of Arei?

Teruko: “Allow me to go over the case…” Ah alright. Protag knows she’s gotta protag I guess xD

“Sorry. But it has to be done.” Okay she actually has trope knowledge what is this.

4 Minutes for the Closing Argument… about the same as last time I think? Maybe a bit shorter?

Also the glove is just straight up not going to be explained huh. I imagine the scuffs on the floor will be shown but you know.

[Ace overhearing Eden+Arei] Btw I know some people missed this: the note sent to Arei explicitly mentions what secret Eden got, which didn’t get brought up in Arei-David. Yes, Ace has to have overheard both of them.

“He was originally planning to kill Eden.” …Nice argument senator why don’t you back it up with a source?

Like genuinely where did that deduction come from? Again, Eden never said how long she felt she was being followed for. It could have only started after this. It’s apparently not wrong, but it’s still a pretty large assumption on Teruko’s part.

[Mechanism Images] Yoo high quality ball over the rafters picture!!! It became canon!!!

[Jug picture] Oh that’s how that worked. Yeah I always had a bit of trouble imagining exactly how the jugs would have been tied to the rope.

[Arei follows the note] Oh she went out without her glove! She just never put it on that morning! For no particular reason! That is the funniest possible conclusion to that particular mystery xD

“Ace cut her free…” …With? I guess he just bit the rope lmao. (He probably just had like a knife or something.)

[Ace over the swing set] PFFT- Okay to be honest, the question of “how do you even physically get Arei up there?” had always bothered me a bit (it’s a lot harder than you might think to visualize), and I was expecting it to be a kind of “don’t think about it too hard” situation. But seeing this as the actual solution is fantastic.

[Trial Close]

Wait are we not gonna talk about the- the scuffs on the floor? I- Wait- How did-

I guess I was right to just assume they were supposed to be a vague indication of struggle as opposed to anything more specific xD

General Thoughts

I feel a sense of… weightlessness. It’s over. The mystery’s over. Levi!Accomplice, Eden!Disguise, J-Arei Swap (I’m assuming that’s dead don’t quote me on it), J!Culprit via the screening room with the remote, “David manipulated someone into murder,” all the other theories that came of this… all shall pass on as fun AU ideas that never came to be. Alas, Ace!Culprit reigns supreme.

The episode was awesome. Less of a roller coaster like the last few have been, more like a linear plunge into sadness. I’ve run out of words to describe how incredible these episodes are, but all the praise I gave the other episodes applies to this one as well.

The star is obviously Ace, and man, despite how horribly sad the Ace fans must be feeling, at least we got fed this chapter. Genuinely felt bad for him even though as J said what he did is pretty unjustifiable. So many interesting things to explore all around for him, and quite a few other characters as well. Just… a feast. I’ve been considering making a fully cohesive post talking about the entirety of CH2 PT2 in more detail than I’ve gone over in these reaction posts, and I’m pretty sure this episode cemented that as a really solid idea.

Theory Discussion

Well the crime’s solved, but since I am the “Local Min Jeung Kinnie,” maybe it’d be appropriate to grade myself on how well my theories panned out?

I will skip talking about the Nico-Ace situation because my ideas for it were completely insane as a result of the vast amounts of evidence that just… didn’t matter. I was right that Nico was the only attacker, but I shared this opinion with like half the fandom at least, so.

The Arei murder is the main course, and frankly… I’d say I did pretty well! All things considered.

Looking back at my Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice theory from a year ago, although I got the complete wrong culprit and threw in an accomplice that didn’t exist, the method itself was strikingly similar provided you correct the oddities that removing an accomplice brings. Hell, a lot of the deductions from my very first post on this came true. Crime happened in the morning, ball of clothes over the rafters for the lights and setting up the pulley system, done with the handlebars of the spinny thing (kinda missed what the tape was for, but at least I knew it was there), water jugs to weigh down Arei, scuffs on the floor indicating a struggle to subdue Arei before hanging her, and while the exact method of stopping the fall was a bit different, using a stopper rope is similar enough to tying a knot that I’m willing to give myself partial credit.

I still stand by the fact that, at the time, it was unreasonable to assume Ace could have picked up the tape. Yes, it’s what happened; doesn’t mean that it seemed horrendously unlikely with what we had at the time. Still, once Ace was officially brought up as a suspect in Ep14, I’m going to give myself partial credit for last-minute switching (sort of I was only suspecting Ace over Eden by a hair) to the real culprit and figuring out the slingshot trick alongside the aforementioned Reddit user.

So, I’ll say I passed! Am I bragging? Maybe. Deal it.

You truly were magnificent, DRDT CH2 case. I shall never forget you for as long as I live.

If you made it this far, congrats. Now let us cry together, for our favorite horse boy is about to leave us forever… after he says his secret quote (which is probably next episode) and the Bonus Episode with Mai hopefully.

(Dammit it that means we still won’t get context on the Eden Mai quote I was kinda looking forward to that T_T)

Thanks for reading! Bye!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #ace markey #teruko tawaki #liveblogging

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dreamlandcreations · 5 months ago

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Knowledge and Power (I)

Darth Maul x Queen of Naboo!Reader

Summary: Maul is afraid that he is not strong enough...

Warnings: angst, nightmares/visions/past and possible future trauma, enemies to lovers, implied smut (naked in bed together), hurt/comfort, fluff, paraphrasing the "Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you were meant to be." quote, ?implied? plotting murder, reader description (long hair), some soulmate-ish/dyad-like stuff at the end, not proofread so probably a mess 🙈

Started for the Sith/Jedi secrets prompt but I guess it works with Death of the self too

A sequel of last year's @maulweek fic, Beauty and the Beast

~ 1,3 K words

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Maul was having another nightmare. There were not many tells but you know him by now. He usually sleeps eerily still, his breathing so calm and hearts so slow that you used to (and sometimes still do) have to check if he was alive when you woke up in the middle of the night, not used to having someone sleep next to you.

The nightmares were getting more and more frequent, and if you were correct, increasingly upsetting too. He refused to tell you about them though. That was about to change tonight!

You shake him awake as gently as you can but still find yourself pinned beneath him but instead of the night's previous loving embrace, he grabs you by your throat, ready to get rid of the threat.

It only takes a second or two for him to realise what's happening but it's enough to cause damage in the already fragile bond between you. He rips himself away so fast you can hardly follow, only barely reaching him before he could leave the bed.

You pull him back on you slowly, knowing that the skin to skin contact will help ground him after whatever he had seen. After a little hesitation, he nuzzles into your neck while pulling you impossibly close, holding you tightly with slightly trembling hands as his breathing starts to even out while you caress him ever so gently.

Lately he has been training you and your handmaidens, relentlessly trying to increase his own power too in his freetime. Something was clearly bothering him and instead of turning to you, he started to drift away, like he was preparing to leave.

"You are not alone. Please, tell me what's wrong," you murmur into his ear, and sigh when you feel him tense up again. "Even if I can't help, it could take some of the weight off you if you would just share."

He leans back on his elbows to look into your eyes, contemplating your words for a long minute before finally speaking. "If I tell you, it will put you in even more danger."

"While not knowing will keep me safe?" You question him with a disapproving frown.

Maul leans on his side, holding his weight on one arm so he can cup your face before he steals a kiss, lingering for a long moment then he parts and answers as he keeps brushing your cheek with his thumb.

"If there is a chance that he will spare you because I have not revealed his identity..."

"Is there a chance he would spare you?"He looks away instead of replying to your rather biting cut in, which is enough of an answer on its own. "I also made a promise to protect you, if you think I'll let..."

He turns back to you sharply, his intense gaze no longer dull yellow light in the dark but glowing flames of almost completely red as he practically growls, "I can't lose you."

Silence. Pain. Paralyzing helplessness. Does he truly think you feel any different about him?

You can hardly breathe as you plead, "Tell me what you dream about."

You almost think he will shut you down again but whatever he sees or feels has him give in, only a little though.

"It is not always the same." He starts, pausing to think just how much to tell you but you don't interrupt or demand more, just patiently wait for him.

The truth is, that it is always the same in terms of how it ends. With death. Only he can't tell you that. So he opens with something less ominous but you quickly connect the dots.

"You will have to go to Coruscant soon."

He is there, you think. The mysterious master who is a threat to you both, no matter how much Maul tries to deny it.

"What if we don't go?" you contemplate your options out loud.

"He will come here."

At that statement your brain races with the pieces of this infuriating puzzle that you already gathered. And then it strucks you. Of course! It has to be...

"No, no, no!" Maul gets up and paces in panic. It is unlike anything you have seen from him so far.

"I killed you! I just killed you!" he chants in desperate cries as you hug your blanket and hurry to him.

"Look at me!" you demand as you grab his arm and turn him to face you. His face kept in place between your palms, letting your covers go while forcing him to do as you said, you try to sound soothing as you weakly attempt to reassure you both, "I'm here. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you!"

He breathes out a shaky breath and carefully rests his forehead against yours.

"I am not strong enough to protect you," he whispers in defeat.

"You don't have to fight him alone." You remind him as you circle your arms behind his neck, holding him tightly as you keep murmuring, "You are not alone. I'm here."

Once he calmed down a little, you pull him back to bed, letting him get lost in the touch of you again as you aimlessly caress each other. He unties your braid, spreading your hair on the pillows like a halo and plays with a strand as he tries to stay with you in the moment.

"Love, forming bonds of commitment... It is not something either side embraces, right?" He pulls back and looks confused at your seemingly sudden change of topic but confirms your theory so you go on. "It seems to me that you limit yourself to what he taught you about the Force and that is not even half of the things you could study if something is missing on both sides. Wouldn't you agree?"

He doesn't answer but you know he is thinking about it, you can also tell he is not convinced, at all.

You sit up, making him move as well. Keeping the remaining covers to your chest with one hand, you grip his jaw in your other hand as you anger starts to show. "He is the past, don't let that define you! He can't have you! If he has to die so you'll be completely free of this torment then he will die."

"How?" he growls at you impatiently, like you are talking nonsense.

In response you lean in and nip at his lower lip before sliding away and reaching under the bed.

"I was going to give you this tomorrow."

"What is this?" He looks almost adorable as he eyes the package. Turning it around this way and that way like it is a foreign concept.

"A gift," you huff. "Open it!"

He does and... there's no reaction. Literally, nothing. He stares at the ancient books with a strange expression and says nothing, so you start to explain why you thought to acquire them in the first place.

"I hardly doubt he knows about the Jedi ways, maybe you can find something useful in there. Perhaps it will give you a new perspective, maybe even help to find your own path.

With that, the last barriers that he was adamant to keep up had crumbled between you, his soul wide open for you, connecting the two of you through the Force as it was meant to be.

You gasp at the feeling but you don't have time to question him, Maul surges forward, grabbing you by your nape and capturing your lips in a kiss, devouring you with a hunger even more intense than usual.

That night was the true end of Darth Maul, for he was no longer a Sith apprentice in any way. He was on a new path, going into blindly to fully explore the world and the Force anew. He will never let anyone else define his fate from now on, he vowed. Although he still had doubts, he was no longer afraid of the future because he knew you would be with him, always.

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#maulweek2024 #darth maul #maul #darth maul x reader #maul x reader #darth maul x you #maul x you #maul week #my stuff #my fics

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rei-ismyname · 4 months ago

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Storm used to get naked a lot

Magneto definitely has the longevity (pun intended) when it comes to on-panel nudity or semi-nudity, but Storm had many moments early in her publication history. They're pretty racist, tbh, the implication being that an African person wouldn't have the same understanding of the social contract dictating 'don't be naked in public.'

This one isn't public but it's got a similar vibe of otherness. 'Imagine myself back in Kenya.' As an aside, my disability makes showering a lengthy trial. I'd love to be able to do this.

Jean is Living with Misty Knight and keeping her Marvel Girl identity secret, so she asks Ororo to change out of her X-Men uniform. There's a flash of lightning? Cool trick, but yeah she's butt nekkid and Jean is aghast/horny/who knows? Ororo is like 'We all good?' and Jean nearly chokes on her drink (sure ;) It's not really explained, but I feel like it's meant to be read as 'African woman doesn't understand nudity taboo.' An excellent what if? would be 'What if Storm's nudist/body positivity became an X-Men thing?' I think it'd be good for everyone who consents, though it'd make it a lot harder to run a school.

This one is forced as hell. Nightcrawler realises Storm is swimming naked in the pool, and tries to hurry everyone inside so nobody sees her. If I'm being generous he means well, but it's still a little uncomfortable. Not pictured - Kurt talking to Storm; Storm giving a fuck. Because he loudly told everyone to get inside, Storm does too (why wouldn't she?)

Nightcrawler - 'Too late.'

Colossus - 'By The White Wolf?!?'

Banshee - 'Oh dear.'

Wolverine - 'Nice tits, darlin.' (paraphrased, lol. The look on his face tho )

She doesn't understand what the hell these weirdos are on about, and complies with Piotr's suggestion that she wear his shirt 'if you insist.' (Boo, double standard. Free the nipple!)

Ororo still doesn't understand, so Xavier (who's been listening? Watching? telepathically takes what's barely subtext and makes it text.

'What may be customary in your land is not in this one.' Yikes. Ororo spent a lot of her youth in various parts of Africa, but her childhood proper was spent in New York AFAIK. She's a US citizen This is her land. I consulted a bunch of African friends who've been to Africa and have family there - Nudity is not common in their experience. Same rules as most places. It's a very stereotypical portrayal of backwards Africa - as if it's a homogenous country and not a massive continent.

He continues 'For the sake of group harmony, I suggest in future you use more... discretion.' I wonder what word he was going to use instead of discretion. Professor X is the undisputed patriarch here, so naturally the most patriarchal stuff comes from him (especially in the 60s/70s.) I'd actually love this to be revisited and have it be revealed that she just likes being naked and it has nothing to do with her being from Africa. Maybe with a lightning bolt upside his bald head. Aside from the scene where Xavier recruits her, I don't think there's any Ororo naked in Africa scenes - she understands the concept of clothes. Ugh.

She was just trying to swim, it was these bozos making a big deal of it. It's also just plain weird that this came up multiple times with multiple writers. Same editor, though I think. Expecting progressiveness from Liberal Marvel is folly, but this just feels like policing women's bodies, and a black woman repeatedly in the same way. 'Stop ogling and objectifying the poor woman,' would be much more appropriate.

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paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 2 days ago

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AU/Elseworlds Idea: Dick wakes up from what seems like a normal sleep only to find his bed seemingly more sturdy than usual, a blanket draped over his face, some sort of string hanging of his big toe while both of his feet being bare, left out of said blanket and what's more peculiar, he can't move any of body.

His memories a bit cloudy from last night, all he can remember was there was massive break out from Blackgate, he was sure fire exhausted so much when he got back to his apartment that it was a miracle he was able to switch to a t shirt and sweats for bed in spite of what felt like some chest pain before finally shutting his eyes.

Sure enough, he feels someone tug lightly on that string on his toe, turns out there's a cardboard ID tag hanging on it. "Hey", he mumbles weakly, "cut that out...I'm sensitive" "Richard..you are awake?" he recognizes that voice, it's Kory. He tries asking her what happened loudly before she lightly covers his mouth to ensure no one hears them. She explains to him in simple yet hopefully nice enough words: Basically to paraphrase ‘Dick you're supposed to be dead. That tag on your foot says you expired from exhaustion induced cardiac arrest and you're actually right now at the Bludhaven General Hospital's morgue.’

Kory peels off the blanket off Dick's face and quickly realizes why then he's awake. She takes out a small mirror so Dick can see himself: his usual fair toned skin had turned into a ghastly grey with blue glowing veins while opening his eyes reveals instead of crystal blue, they are now a shining gold. However, whatever's bringing him back is apparently incomplete since his body entered rigor mortis which is why he can't move.

Kory covers him back and says she will tell Bruce and Alfred to see if they can arrange his 'funeral' so that by then this process will be complete and they'll know what to do from there.

“In the meantime friend,” she says, “ I suppose you should just 'play dead' then yes?"

Thoughts on this Idea?

I know a little morbid for Christmas but frankly I couldn’t resist revisiting it lol

#dick grayson #my posts #koriand'r #the batman #dc comics #fanfic #au idea #prompt #fan fiction #sfw #toe tag #morgue #tw death #batfamily #nightwing

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barb-l · 6 months ago

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Vaggie is my favorite character, so I want to know where all of this hate for her came from. Like…people hate Vaggie yet love Lute, for example….. wtf? How? And I’m not saying people have to like the same things I do, but I’ve seen mfs bash Vaggie for things other characters have done. Again… what? The? Fuck?

Oh hohoho

I'm in a ranting mood, so let me tell you exactly why by paraphrasing some of the hate posts I've seen classlessly left in the chaggie tag before I blocked the OP's for said posts

"Vaggie has nothing going for her character. All she is, is Charlie's girlfriend"

- not even remotely true. She has a lot going on with her character aside from being The Girlfriend. She struggles with deep self-hatred, something that doesn't necessarily revolve around Charlie, although it does affect her relationship with her(codependency). It's a huge character flaw, though not necessarily bad character writing. It's something she needs to grow from, and something we can still see unfold in the coming seasons. Although she's helping with the hotel to be a supportive girlfriend, it is also something Vaggie believes to be the right thing to do regardless of Charlie. As Rosie inferred, Vaggie saw helping with the hotel as a way to atone for her sins and to do better. Even if the person running the Hotel weren't Charlie or anyone she fell for, I believe it's something she still would have helped with given her backstory. She has connections with other characters too that can be explored more in the future. Aside from just being "Charlie's girlfriend", she is Carmilla's possible additional daughter figure, she is Alastor's biggest obstacle in gaining whatever tf from Charlie, she is Lute's rival, and finally she is Lucifer's blatant parallel.

"Being a fallen angel is the only thing carrying her character. And we barely got any build up on that."

- let's say that's true. IF that's the case, why isn't anyone spitting hate on characters like Husk whose only "thing" is being a past overlord? Even though this had less foreshadowing than Vaggie's angel secret? Even though his only purpose in the story so far is to be Angel's love interest? He may be an alcoholic, but it's barely touched upon what terrible effects that may have for him. And although having his soul owned by Alastor sucks, does he actually suffer aside from that one time Alastor threatened his life? All Alastor is making him do is man the bar(so far). He has nothing to develop from with his character either. In fact, aside from the swearing and the grumpiness, he's a pretty swell guy who doesn't seem to fit in hell. He doesnt have a flaw that the story can aim to have him improve from. All he has going for him is his romance arc with Angel, and his past as an Overlord. Which, i repeat, isn't a bad thing! But how come Vaggie would get so much hate for similar criticisms, while Husk is widely loved by majority of the fandom?

"She doesn't have any chemistry with Charlie"

- something told by someone who ships:

Ch*rl*stor - two people who have only had direct interactions in the pilot(a quick dance number), episode 5(Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's daddy issues to curry favor with her and hit Lucifer's ego), and ep 7 (Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's dejection to make a deal with Charlie). A ship involving the kindest soul in Hell and a serial killer who has no desire to change and ridicules the dream Charlie holds so dear and is so passionate about. It isn't a bad thing to crack ship. Hell I do it too, but it's such a hypocritical thing to say that a canon ship has no chemistry only to claim that two people who have barely any meaningful conversations and positive interactions objectively look more like a couple and would be a better choice to be canon. Just because you like how they look in your imagination doesn't mean canon is objectively bad.

Ch*rlie/Emily - two characters who share so much similarities they can be sisters. It is such a personal thing. I have nothing against those who ship them. It just isn't for me because of the amount of similarities they have. With the intentional parallels, I personally think Emily would be better off having a gf that resembles Vaggie. Where Chaggie has a sunshine demon X grumpy angel duo, Emily could visit hell and fall for a demon who would be her opposite.

Ch*rlie/Lucifer - it's. Incest. Cmon.

"She doesn't care about the denizens of Hell"

- Vaggie's in Hell in the first place because she spared a demon's life. She cares TOO MUCH!

"Vaggie lied to Charlie. Even Adam was more honest with her!"

- I dont even... It should be common sense why Vaggie, who had just been betrayed by ANGELS, would not trust a demon princess with her true identity. Charlie and Rosie already talked about this. Or did they have their eyes and ears closed throughout episode 7?

"She ruined Lucifer's song by reprising it. Why would she do that when it's supposed to be Charlie and Lucifer's thing?? Why would she go and use a song about familial love and change the meaning to romance??"

- musicals that reprise songs to change its initial vibe has always been a thing, first of all. Vaggie reprised Lucifer's song specifically because they have been parallels of each other for the whole show. In fact, Lucifer indirectly echoes back Vaggie's reprise, with his lyrics in The Finale mirroring Vaggie's lyrics. It's not about Vaggie "stealing Lucifer's thing", it's about these two angels who both love Charlie reminding her of that love and how much they believe in her, despite being withheld of Heaven's love and losing faith in it in the process. It's about these two forms of love withstanding Heaven's abandonment and being there for someone who wants to face Heaven head on.

This is probably one of the most ridiculous anti-Vaggie criticism I've read. It's so weird to see such an earnest act of love as something audacious. If anything, Lucifer's the one with the audacity. I love him a LOT, but he did not deserve to be forgiven just because he had a beautiful song number with his daughter. It doesn't change the fact that he neglected Charlie for ages. If anyone deserved to sing More Than Anything, it was Vaggie because she has truly shown her commitment to Charlie. But, yunno. Baby steps.

Honestly for a lot of the characters in this show, all it seems to take for the fandom to like them is to have a song number that they like. People find Vaggie's songs boring. So they find her boring. Not a lot is known or shown of characters like Vox, Velvette, Alastor, and Husk, but apparently they're better developed. Just because they have sick song numbers doesn't mean they're better developed...

#asks #hazbin hotel #chaggie

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thegreenthepeacetheorange · 1 year ago

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Everlark (Catching Fire, Ch. 15-16)

(finnick and johanna are in the building. i repeat, finnick and johanna are in the building!)

katniss likes her men medium handsome. she likes to find the beauty in the ordinary things. so of course finnick is of no interest to her whereas peeta...

katniss mocking finnick to peeta is hilarious

"because you have a weakness for beautiful things and i don't" "having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness... except possibly when it comes to you" i know peeta had katniss's insides turning to mush on the regular. again, them having another compliment-off. they love those.

katniss fixating on peeta's blue eyes. again. "those blue eyes" - they're nothing spectacular... they're just blue eyes that belong to him so they're those blue eyes.

hand holding is just their thing. constant handholding at every opportunity. their hands are permanently intertwined

"peeta and i.. are so mesmerising" "peeta and i appear... young and strong and beautiful"

katniss being JEALOUS when johanna strips down. like she's so annoyed she won't look at peeta and throws his hand away from her when johanna leaves. "she spends the whole ride... chatting to peeta about his paintings while the light of his still-glowing costume reflects off her bare breasts" - she's MAD mad.

their fight after the elevator is so teenage it makes my heart ache. like they're really just teenagers navigating so many human experiences for the first time amongst this chaos.

one of the main reasons she's still angry with him the next day is because of him teasing her (and lingering jealousy over johanna). her being like 'i don't want his comfort but i'm still gonna die to ensure he's alive but i don't owe him more than that' (paraphrasing) is so funny because what do you even mean, katniss? she's unhinged

peeta just having a big group of friends around all the time, like he did in district 12 - and still it's katniss he wants the most. aw. "it's amazing that he ever took any notice of me." you can't convince me that katniss doesn't absolutely adore that she's peeta's chosen one. like she feels so special that he fell in love with her/chooses to love her.

"so i'm stupid for thinking that they might be useful. because of something johanna mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling" - oh she is so jealous and mad. lmao

i don't think i hold anything against peeta for not saying/doing something to chaff in the moment he kisses katniss. like he's also just 17 and he was probably equally caught off guard. haymitch really should've been the one to protect her but he laughed. peeta saying he won't let chaff kiss her again feels like him teasing but also him realising that she really didn't like that and i know for sure he wouldn't let that happen again.

katniss being like oh these people are quite nice and friendly and quite damaged that i would want to protect them "but all of them must die if i'm to save peeta" - she's unhinged. and this goes back to my point that a lot of her motivations are driven for selfish reasons. she's saving peeta for herself, because it's what she needs to happen

katniss doesn't want to stick it to the gamemakers because they're terrible people (although i'm sure that plays a part), it's just so she can draw attention away from peeta and hopefully onto herself for the sake of his survival

#everlark #peeta x katniss #katniss x peeta #katniss and peeta #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #the hunger games #catching fire #tgtpto everlark read

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bekaroth-reads · 1 year ago

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Ascended Astarion x Tav/ reader

Major spoilers ahead!!

[Well, sort of. A bit of an AU for the scene where Astarion turns Tav into his spawn. Sort of where even though Astarion chose to do the ascension ritual, glimmers of his long lost morality claw their way through. Could also be seen as an extension of the actual scene, like after it fades to black or whatever. Just as long as Tav is still alive and he is making them not so. Full discloser, I was watching the 1992 Dracula when I thought of this and sorta, kinda, allota, repurposed/paraphrased some lines from a scene from there. As per usual, I am using you and they pronouns for Tav.]

This was selfish. He knew this was selfish. And, yet, he did not care.

There had been very rare a time that he was never being selfish in one way or another, at least in his mind’s eye. Though the truth of the matter was not so black and white as he was telling himself these nights, once again he did not care. As far as Astarion could understand, after suffering for centuries that this new existence was his reward, his purpose even. After the turmoil, torture, the violations that Cazador had put him through, he had survived- overcame.

Enduring all of the painful pressure of his previous existence, Astarion emerged the brightest diamond glittering in the night. After scraping by in the in the dirt of his own grave, he was now ascending beyond anyone’s comprehension. Though he already thought himself all-powerful from the moment the ritual was finished, there was the pleasant surprise of feeling that power growing day by day.

The hunger for that power and more increased at the same pace if not faster, however. And, while at one point, a young, pale elf would have sworn off the process entirely, the newly matured vampire knew there was one certain way to assure his continued power- spawn.

Though there was still a part of his old self that felt bile rise in his throat at the very thought, as far as Astarion was concerned that old self was truly dead and gone, buried in that graveyard just outside of the city, and who he was now just happened to share a name with the poor sod. Besides, it wasn’t like he was a total monster. Even if he was, nothing he ever did could be worse than what Cazador put him though; he was convinced of that if nothing else.

The thing that seemed to give him pause. Astarion knew in his soul, in the heart of his long-dead, black heart, who he wanted- no- needed to be his first. It couldn’t be anyone else but his dear Tav.

He had been more than patient with you as he let you be sure that all the others in your sordid, little party were actually well off, or rather, as well off as some of them could be. But, he was ready for the next step, and you were willing.

While Astarion was more than proud of his work done freeing himself, he knew that you had aided him greatly. And, something else that he was certain of was that you were his, and he could not bare to lose you. The more mortal you were, the more of a risk there was of that happening. There certainly were plenty of things that could kill, or rather re-kill vampires, however they were fewer a father between. Besides, you would have him there every step of the way. One of the greatest ways to keep you safe was to never take his eyes off of you.

And yet…

Could he really risk putting you through anything remotely akin to what he had gone through?

Once he entered his new, lavish bedchamber, seeing you waiting for him like your whole world started and stopped with his very presence alone, he quickly decided he could. It wouldn’t truly be like what transpired between Cazador and himself. How could it be? Here you were, so ready, so willing. He wasn’t binding you to himself because he wanted to enslave you, not truly. Astarion simply could not think of a life with out his Tav; not any more. He was doing this because he…

This was no time for all of this… this… simply just all of this to be bogging down his mind as well as the mood. He banished the thoughts at least for the moment with a sly grin and hungry eyes as he sauntered over to the place where he had you kneeling before him. He pushed you down as a playful threat and means to lean himself over you. There were words, both of your usual banter, a playful nip or two around your body and then the air filled with the electrifying tension of bracing for what you both knew what was going to happen next.

There was another bite, this time a deep piercing of the skin at your neck. Astarion lingered, indulged in the first gush of your last production of mortal blood for longer than he planned to before sitting up just enough to look you in the eyes again.

“You have given me everything. Thank you.” He almost sang in a sigh before returning to his sanguine ambrosia from where he had opened your veins and punctured your flesh.

As he drank, it became more and more evident that you were fading, the loosening of your hold on him, the stilling of the fingers tracing the scars on his back being a clear signaling…

The scars on his back.

Something that no matter how he might try to distance himself from his old life, no matter how he tried to see them as a symbol of his newly found power, he still couldn’t block out how and why those runes were carved there. And, as if from those runes an elf, a poor young thing that was giving no choice centuries ago cried out in terror, in pain at the sight of himself, no, the monster perusing him now wearing his skin and damning another as he was once damned.

“No!” Astarion cried as he forced himself away from your neck, “I cannot do this to you!” He held your face gently, more gently and less possessively than he had in a long while and whispered, “Not to you, Tav.”

“Please. Do it Astarion. Make me yours. Forever yours.” You pleaded, words fumbling out of your mouth in your delirium, but all of the genuinely earnest.

“To do this is to curse you. Curse you as he cursed me.” Even in raw emotional outbursts, Astarion still couldn’t stand to spit out Cazador’s name, not even once more. “Curse you with me. I-“ Astarion was going to continue the thought, but couldn’t bring himself to. There were still many of his thoughts that he had not and perhaps never would verbally utter to another soul; not even to you.

His eyes soften in a way that you had never seen them before; there were so many emotions swirling behind them. The one that you saw surface the most even in your half-dead haze was guilt. A guilt that seemed to be battling against the animalistic hunger that he had been parading the rest of the night.

“I love you too much to damn you.” He was on the verge of tears, as if part of him didn’t want to fully go though with it anymore, and yet knew it could only fight the rest of him for a few moments more.

It was all the assurance you needed, however. The fact that he loved you was often displayed, but seldom spoken directly. And, if he did indeed love you enough to say so, to give pause no matter what every fiber of his being was telling him to do on the chance that you might regret asking him to embrace you into the life of a vampire spawn, then you knew that he loved you enough- that you loved him enough- that you both would need eternity to even begin showing the extent of it.

“Please.” You whimpered out, and it seemed like all you were feeling was portrayed in the single word as Astarion looked as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders and the tension on his brow eased. There was a gentle kiss to the wrist that he had bitten earlier tonight.

As soft as it started, his teeth were quick to follow them once the coppery taste of your blood reawakened the more feral side of him. He did not bite your wrist again, simply used his teeth to scrape off some dried blood while his fangs decorated your skin with welts. One more kiss goodbye to your pulse, and he moved to your neck once more.

“As you wish, pet.” Astarion purred and imbibed once more until you were limp in his arms.

Asterion knew that when you woke again, you would have many questions. One that he would deny even knowing about was his show of weakness tonight. If he was going to procure and rule his domain there was no room for frivolities. Well, there would certainly be plenty of frivolities as he so desired and deserved, but the gentler feelings of life were not among them.

Then again, looking at your still, serine form waiting to start its new un-life, forevermore his, Astarion supposed that there might be a few times where he could make the exception; but only for you. Only for sweet, little Tav. His Tav.

#ascended astarion x reader #ascended astarion x tav #ascended astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #astarion ancunin x reader #astarion ancunin x tav

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90shaladriel · 1 month ago

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A Lord and His Build - Chapter 17 (Completed)

Chapter 17 - Epilogue (Completed Fic!)

Rating: Mature

Words: 8k

Summary: Our hero's journey comes to an end but the paths go ever winding.

CW: References to birth and half-maia Celebrian 🤭

Thank you once again to the title art by @klynnvakarian!

Well this is the final chapter and instead of a snippet I just wanted to leave a comment on my overall thoughts on writing this fic.

Well, I can’t believe I actually did it! This is my first ever fic and it has turned into my longest after almost two years. While there are elements of this story I could imagine continuing, I felt that I wanted a solid conclusion and this was a sort of novel length point to end it. It was important to me that Ereddâz's journey had a satisfying ending for him. If you couldn’t tell, there’s elements of this character that are deeply personal to me and only became more so as the fic went on. I am grateful to have met this character and gone on this journey with him and at times it was very cathartic to some personal things I had going on. I hope I was true to the character though.

I truly had a great time writing this fic. It was a joy for me and I did feel proud of a lot of what I have written. Sometimes I think certain parts could’ve been better or I had other ideas that would’ve been cool but ended up on the cutting room floor so to speak. But overall this was such a memorable experience.

I’ll never forget the support and pseudo beta reading by my friends in the Saurondriel and Haladriel discords. In fact it was encouragement from one of those discords that I decided to actually put myself out there and write my first ever fan fic with zero experience in a community that I barely knew. That person said something like “your voice matters and we can use your contribution to the fandom” (paraphrasing). I can’t describe how encouraging those words were to read to get over the initial anxiety I had about writing this story.

Since most of the communities I was in were mostly focused on the Haladriel romance or even the smut side of things I did feel a bit on the outside having a very subtle Haladriel element while focusing on this Rings of Power AU story about Orc civilians. I think those fears disappeared after I started writing it for myself in a way AND then I continued getting all those lovely comments and kudos from all you readers here and on ao3. THANK YOU, your interest and appreciation definitely motivated me to come this far and finish it. Let me know what you think. Any constructive criticism is also appreciated!

#smart orcs #finished fic #orc culture #orc fic #haladriel #saurondriel #sauron #galadriel #rop fanfic #fanfiction #my fic #the rings of power

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wishiwasfiction · 6 months ago

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I saw a post that said locking alters away is never okay, and I wanted to talk about it but didn't want to derail, so I'm making my own post.

Tl;DR I don't 100% agree with it because there's nuance there.

read tags for TWs

Broadly speaking, I agree. Locking up alters can be damaging in a lot of ways: it hurts them, and their relationships to other alters, and can hurt other alters if they disagree with the decision.

Broadly speaking, locking up alters is counterproductive to healing/functionality.

Broadly speaking.

There are also situations in which locking up an alter is the safest option. Times where you don't really get a choice.

I'm honestly glad that most systems never have to think about this, because you only really think about it if you (or someone you know) has lived it.

Alters can do really fucked up things, dangerous things, both in the innerworld and out.

Alters can hurt others.

Alters can kill each other or send each other dormant.

Alters can kill the body.

And yes, in many cases they're doing this because they're trying to help, or they think they deserve it, or because they were trained to do so, or any number of other perfectly understandable and 'healable' reasons.

But some also do it because they think its fun, or because it makes them feel powerful, or just because they can.

Speaking as a gatekeeper/protector, it's my job to keep the system safe. If an alter is not safe to be around, then I need to protect against that.

I think it's important to establish that keeping an alter away from the rest of the system doesn't inherently mean that we're keeping them somewhere inhumane.

We put people in their own area, with space, light, good food, pleasant living conditions, and the ability to choose how they spend their time. We give them access to their hobbies and their favourite medias and comforts. If it's safe, we give them non-physical access to social spaces, guidance, and support. If we think it's safe, we give them in person visits with people we know they cannot harm should they try something.

Locking alters away is not always cruel and violent and brutal, even though you may consider it immoral or unethical.

And quite frankly, even if it is done in ways that are cruel or violent or brutal, if that is what is required for the body to remain functional and alive, then so be it.

You can't do 'better' if you're dead.

What I will say, is that locking up alters should not be a fix all. It should not be what you jump to or immediately reach for when conflict occurs.

It is the final option or it is an emergency stop-gap.

We have a very long list of things to try before we start considering locking someone up. We work with them to understand why they are doing what they're doing, and whether they're open to changing.

If they are not open to change, we respect that and do the absolute bare minimum necessary to keep everyone safe.

A lot of times, they will not be open to changing, and then after some time of us respecting their autonomy and boundaries, they approach us requesting help to change.

I am scared of the response this may garner, but I'm saying it anyway.

If an alter reacts violently to something out of fear, keeping them to one area with none of that thing can be a kindness.

This is a paraphrasing of something said to me by an alter I had 'locked away' for safety.

She reacted badly to change/uncertainty, and said the predictability helped her to learn how to work through her fear and manage it without violence. The system proper was too overwhelming for her to be able to change.

She's now happily living in a quieter part of the innerworld and no longer expresses those fear responses as violence.

This is one example i picked at random, but i have many more stories of locking alters away while they are learning to manage themselves, and then releasing them once they are no longer deemed dangerous.

If you want to judge someone for what they do when they have both time and options when making a decision, then fine.

But judging people on split-second decisions when (potentially) their life is involved, or when they've exhausted all other options, just seems to me to be picking on the vulnerable target.

#tw death #tw dormancy #tw violence #tw incarceration #ramcoa #<- tagged because that's the perspective I'm writing from #syscourse #i suppose #sysconversation

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