#I assume the rest of the country is making fun of us

[whisky-soul]

[deerboybreeder]

I would do that to you.

I would start like a nice and respectful boyfriend. You'd meet my family and my friends. I might even make it legal with you.

Then I'd tell you I've gotten a new job making a stack of money on the other side of the country. Of course you'd go.

I'd get us a big house, the kind where you can't see or hear the neighbors, they're so far away.

I'd cut you off from your socials. "oops, bad internet, I'll get it fixed"

I'll start only using pet names with you. The pet names will get more and more feminine.

One day you'll get sick and be mostly asleep for a week. I'll take care of you.

When you finally get up things feel weird. You look at our wedding photo. You're wearing a dress in it. You are Sure that's not what happened. You run through the house and in all the pictures you're in pink and dresses but you're smiling and happy.

When you come to be I just look exasperated. I sit you down and show you medical reports that say you had a car accident and head trauma.

I tell you we've been over this a hundred times and you should be thankful that I'm still taking care of you and doing all the work to keep our relationship going just the way it was. That you had your license taken away from the accident so I have to take you everywhere. I even started working from home so I can keep an eye on you.

For the rest of the week I grope you and fuck you in the kitchen and dress you in short skirts and tell you to remember how good it feels when I'm like this.

When I start hooking you up to a milk machine three times a day I 'remind you' that this was Your plan to have bigger tits without surgery.

I never use your name. I just call you pet or toy.

Once your tits start making milk I decide to start putting you into pretty dresses once a week and taking you to church just so I'll the other men can see your giant nipples starting to leak.

After a year I've stopped talking to you at all. I just put a collar and leash around your neck and snap or whistle if I want you to come.

This is insanely good holy fuck. Not only would it be so slow I wouldn't know how to escape if I wanted to, my reality is so easy to manipulate it wouldn't even be that hard.

Because of my combination of disorders, I already have major memory loss- saying so much of that lost time is from an accident? Well, that just makes sense. And because you took your time with me, I already trust you- you're my partner in all this after all, and you're taking such good care of me. It must be true. The discomfort at seeing me in a dress like that must just be because of the disconnect between these fake memories and the real ones- that's happened before without someone gaslighting me to change how I view things.

Getting fucked in the kitchen and especially in short skirts is something I'd already want, so I wouldn't even question it. It would reenforce everything so easy, and I'd probably even start wearing them of my own will to get you to do it more. After all, you seem to like it too, I need to thank you for taking such good care of me.

With the milking, I just assume I told you my kink at some point honestly. And while the growth of my tits would make me dysphoric, that flips entirely on it's head once I start making milk for you. It's what I'm made for, after all!

Now here comes the fun part.

You've entirely stopped using my name, and with no outside contact, I also don't have anyone using my name. Due to my memory issues already present, and because of DID making my "collective name" different than the name of whoever is fronting at the moment, I GENUINELY HAVE almost forgotten the day to day name. And that's with people around me using it once in a while. With my memory issues getting worse because of the gaslighting, I might actually forget.

And while I try to put my foot down about church, feeling mostly uncomfortable and panicked there, I try to soothe myself with the idea that you're just showing me off. The problem comes worse when someone asks me who I am. I can't remember anymore- I just end up introducing myself as "(your) wife". All these discordant feelings just feeding the brain fog, making it harder and harder to process anything or know who and what I am.

By the time you stop talking to me, I'm barely present in my mind at all. Just doing what you ask- my injury must be so bad, I manage to think, but my husband is so good to me to still take care of me. Especially when he lets me not think and just be his pet.

[chevelleneech]

As much as I talk about Chanlix and Jikook, and often use “possibly” or “if”, I’d like to go on record saying, Minsung is 100% real, lol.

Minho and Jisung have been together for years, they’ve confirmed it as much as I think we’ll ever see, and so have the rest of Stray Kids. I genuinely can’t think of any other way for two closeted people to prove they’re in a relationship, whilst working together in the same pop group based in a homophobic country.

They tell us about how often they go on dates, they talk about being fated/destined to be in each other’s life, they have spoken about being each other’s comfort and peace, they flirt nonstop, and the other members have openly discussed how coupled up they are, both seriously and jokingly. Even the two of them have blatantly used “boyfriend” for one another numerous times.

And trust me, I get it. Them not coming out with the words, “Neither of us are straight and are in an official committed relationship with each other.” leaves room for doubt, but at the same time… they have said they’re together. The other members have said they’ve got a thing going on. How much more out can they get without telling us their sexualities? Which isn’t a determining factor to any relationship in the first place.

I don’t know. I’m just saying, I don’t think any ship I’ve ever looked at has felt as undoubtedly real as Minsung. Real to the point where shipping them in the usual sense isn’t fun, because they’re not a ship. They seem like two people genuinely in a relationship, and they go about their days like two people in a relationship. I think the only reason at all that anyone (myself included in a way) holds space for doubt, is because they haven’t “come out” in the traditional way. No one can say for a fact either of them are queer, because we’re all used to same sex pop stars not confirming anything, particularly those who date people they work with, so it makes it easier to assume they’re just joking around. But again, Minho and Jisung aren’t saying they’re not a couple.

They’ve actually been saying the opposite for years, but they also laugh about it and don’t kiss on camera. Which makes complete sense, and the refusal to accept the context of their lives is why I think anyone who says they’re just friends is kind of more delusional than people who ship them. Because the label of their sexualities is truthfully the last line for them to cross, which they likely never will, and expecting them to is crazy.

Choosing to believe two people can’t be dating simply because they 1) are of the same sex and 2) are in the same music group, is indeed ridiculous. They’d just be queer coworkers who decided to date, and like… yeah. I honestly don’t see anything else that makes sense for their own explanations of their relationship, other than them being a couple.

[yawujin]

hiiiiiiiiiii

since it's almost december that got me thinking

my home country sometimes has inches of snow and my mother told me during her college years sometimes they had to shut down school becouse students could not leave their houses........so......

Do you have any headcanons for Russia, Canada, Norway, Denmark and Finland getting snowed in with their partner (assuming they live together with reader or that their visiting) like what would they do to pass the time? hot milk? cuddling under a thick blanket🤭

love your blog and hope you have a happy december!!!!! 💙💙💙

{ request } snowed in with the hetalia men ❄️

type • snowed in trope , cute , lighthearted , platonic relationship , romantic relationship , scenario format , imagine format , they/them pronouns used

author's note* getting this posted before december is over !! sorry that it took so long anon...hope this month treated you well, and if it didn't─i hope this makes it just a little bit better!

russia/ivan braginski ♡

he is quite used to the heavy snow, so this type of weather doesn't bother him in the slightest

he'll invite them to watch the snowfall outside as he rests his elbow on the windowsill, chin in his hand

he's quietly reminiscing about all those times he spent running around in snowy forests and sliding across icy, frozen over lakes as child (not without falling down a couple of times, of course)

it'll take a while for this snow to melt anyway...why not get comfortable next to him and listen to all the bittersweet recollections of his childhood memories?

canada/matthieu williams ♡

being snowed in leaves you with a lot of time on your hands

canada takes this as an opportunity to make some mini pancakes, cover them with warm maple syrup and serve it with hot cocoa

the food is good and helps warm up their bodies...but it leaves the two feeling punchy

canada (shyly) makes an offer to share a blanket while sitting on the sofa together

their shared bodyheat makes it hard to resist sleep; soon, the two of them drift off while the snow starts falling again outside

(taking a nap together can be considered a date!!! >_<)

norway/lukas bondevik ♡

he does what he can to pass the time, doing what he usually does on a day to day basis

reading magazines , books and, random articles he found on the internet

norway feels like a lifetime will pass before the two can step outside again

they offer to do something he doesn't regularly do; play a board game

feeling this unusual sense of listlessness due to spending a full afternoon indoors, norway becomes determined to win a round in this board game

(not so) surprisingl, he finds it fun─and time flies when you're having fun

denmark/matthias køhler ♡

he finds himself pacing around their house, looking for something, anything, to do!

he snacks out of boredom sometimes, but since it's so cold out, he'd prefer to eat something hot

even eating has become boring for him

denmark goes to them for something to do, asking silly questions to help pass the time

feeling bold, matthias asks them for a kiss

...and like the weather outside, once it starts, it's hard to stop

a simple kiss turns into the two making out. (that's one way to kill time 🫣)

finland/timo väinämöinen ♡

being snowed in with finland can be kind of fun

he gets a little a worried in the beginning, expressing his concerns on how long the weather will last and how it will affect the food supply

that is, until he remembers he can hunt and he can handle snowy climates (no matter how harsh they may be)

he's a natural born storyteller, making up things in his head in an instant

sometimes, he'll tell them a story that sounds so fake but then reveal that it really happened

this skill of his takes both of their minds off of the fact that they are snowed in

he kindly gives them his winter coat to wear as he recalls the time he had to become santa claus one year during christmas

[princessbrunette]

omg imagine “innocent” reader bsf jj dynamic, after she helped her with her sore boobs and all the pogues are in the twinkie and she just pouts at jj and says “jay might need your help, they’re sore again” gesturing to her nipples and before she can continue jj’s just like “okok stop yeah” glancing around flushed at the other pogues who are looking at him suggestively

it was especially warm and balmy that day, maybe that’s why your boobs felt extra heavy, sore to the touch inside the fabric of your bra. you quietly groan, uncomfortable from sitting in the same place for so long in the twinkie. the bouncing of the wheels driving over small potholes probably wasn’t helping your ache, pope carelessly speeding through country lanes behind the wheel. JJ sits opposite you, not paying much attention to the groan, assuming it’s from the heat when you tip your head back on the neck rest, huffing out a sigh. the blonde simply turns around to look out the windshield, drumming on the back of john b’s passenger seat.

the van bounces over another pothole and you wince, lifting your head with a pout.

“pope, can you please drive a little more carefully. i’m in pain.” you complain.

“you good?” john b swivels in his seat to look back at you for a moment, observing your uncomfortable expression.

“think my menzies are comin’ up. my boobs have been killing me.” you suddenly direct your attention to the blonde. “jayj, think m’gonna need your help again tonight.” you groan, slumping against the side of the van clutching your chest.

“shh, hey now.” jj awkwardly reprimands, coughing and busying himself with stabbing the carpet of the van with his finger, cringing as he feels john b turn back around.

“help— help with what? what did jj…” he frowns in confusion, and jj knows there’s nothing he can do to stop your mouth from innocently revealing your little secret.

“well, i was having boob pain the other night n’ i couldn’t sleep and—”

“you dont have to… say all that—” he tries to interject quietly, but it’s useless.

“— and jj was kind enough to use his magic hands on me. well, and his mouth. he was really good! i slept like a baby!” you smile gleefully at the memory like it was nothing. popes eyes widen, not even bothering to engage whilst john b is bursting into shocked laughter, turning around and smacking JJ on the back.

“damn, JJ— that true? you got magic hands?” he laughs, unable to pick his jaw off the ground. jj’s lips purse shamefully before he rolls his eyes and nods, resisting a chuckle of his own.

“yes—yeah, it’s true—hey! i’m being helpful, a’ight! s’what good friends do!” he defends, raising his voice over john b’s laughter, pope muttering a ‘jesus’ to himself at some point.

kie sits up from her lounged position across the seats with a disgusted expression, glancing between the two of you. “are you serious? thats gross. you two are like, breaking every pogue rule, you know that right?” she accuses tiredly. a mischievous smile breaks across jj’s face, and kie’s expression instantly flattens, knowing he’s cooking something devious to say in response.

“hey, suckin’ on some good ol’ titties ain’t breaking any rules.” he holds his hands up, making the van break out into more chaos as you giggle in confusion. you didn’t see what the big deal was, but you’ll let them have their fun.

[unseemingowl]

Saga Anderson, and Nordic rep in Alan Wake 2

Early on in Saga Anderson’s exploration in Alan Wake 2, she runs into Ilmo Koskela. Fiercely proud of his Finnish heritage, Ilmo gregariously makes note of Saga’s Nordic sounding name and the familiar design of her knitted sweater. Perhaps a fellow Finn?

Alas no, Saga’s mom is Swedish she informs him. Immediately Ilmo’s face falls. I’m not sure if it’s actually just the animated character defaulting to his resting face, but either way the timing is too perfect. Cue uproarious laughter from me. People in the Nordics are on friendly terms of course, but we gotta have the tiniest bit of… scornfor each other. All in good fun of course. It’s traditional.

Now, I’m Danish, not Finnish, but still, I feel right at home in the towns of Bright Falls and Watery in Alan Wake 2. All of the little nods to Nordic culture and mindset feel so wonderfully familiar to me. The melancholia, the irreverent sense of humor, the affection for the Finnish and Swedish quirks of the characters. The game feels all the stronger in tone and narrative for Remedy embracing the Finnish roots of the studio.

Which is exactly why it sucks that I almost immediately saw the charm of those narrative decisions weaponised against Saga.

I first watched the scene between Ilmo and Saga on a lets play when I was trying to figure out if I should finally dip my toes into survival horror and buy the game. Delighted by the writing I took a look into the comments to see if people were vibing as hard with it as I was. They were. But I also saw a comment that made me frown.

Paraphrasing, it basically went, come on, like hell a guy like Ilmo would make the assumption that a black woman is Finnish. There are a multitude of reasons why I think that person was wrong, mainly that Nordic people love it when we run into each other in other countries, but it also just made me sad.

Saga being black does not negate her Swedish heritage. Formally, she is American, sure (I assume, not sure how that works in the US), but she’s raised by her single Swedish mom, of course she’s going to identify heavily with that part of her herself. It’s a profound and essential part of who she is.

But hey, I’m a white potato Dane, so I’m not gonna argue that I know much about the experience of being biracial. I’m gonna stick to what I know, which is that Saga is a very moving and beautiful example of something that I’m actually not used to seeing much of - a story about connecting with your Nordic heritage and roots. And it’s part of why I love her so much.

When Nordic people show up in big, international productions, it’s usually as Vikings, and sure, it’s fun to see our wild ancestors, but contemporary questions of Nordic identity and heritage is not something I often see explored. Not even in our own productions.

So much of Saga’s story is about family. Fighting for her current one, Logan and Casey (and sure, David too, lol), and rediscovering her first one. Tor and Odin.

Her discovering her ties to Tor and Odin is profoundly moving and made me teary-eyed several times over. And sure, a lot of those ties are fantastical in nature, but they still feel very much grounded - and what makes us Nordic if not the ties to our myths and legends that Tor and Odin have made themselves the living avatars of.

While Saga’s mom, Freya, had good reasons for leaving the Anderson seer magics behind, seeing them as part of what made her family fucked up, she also cut Saga off from the fullness of her capabilities. It is only through Saga reforming her family, healing its scars and fully embracing the Anderson heritage that she becomes as powerful a parautilitarian as she is at the end of the game. That’s beautiful.

And in fact I think Saga being black only deepens the richness of those themes rather than negate them or make them irrelevant. Because yes, Saga’s story would have been moving if she was a white character too, but I am very well aware that a lot of biracial people of Nordic ancestry can feel alienated from that part of themselves. Not least because questions of who gets to claim a Nordic heritage can get pretty ugly around here. There are most definitely people who share the racist mindset of that commentator. It adds an extra dimension. Which is why seeing Tor and Odin’s eagerness to claim Saga as part of the Anderson heritage is all the more moving. Through her magics, she’s just so obviously an Anderson, and they’re so damn proud to call her theirs and fight alongside her. Because they all got that wild Viking blood in them. They’re part of her and she’s part of them.

Roger Ebert, the film critic once called movies empathy machines. I think games, when they’re at their best, can be an even more intense variation of that. Which is exactly why it baffles me that some people can play through Alan Wake 2 and still think Saga is a stunt-woke character rather than someone fully and beautifully integrated in the narrative. A narrative which, at its most basic level – in my opinion – is about the mystical bonds we form with each other and the rest of the world through art and love and blood and family and heritage. All the great horror doesn’t negate that either, it amplifies it. Kind of like that clicker.

[altocat]

Angeal and Genesis finally take Sephiroth to Banora au 🙏

Sephiroth has been emotionally preparing for this trip forever. He's genuinely excited. He never gets to travel for fun and would love to see a taste of country life away from Midgar.

The first thing on the agenda is to make sure Sephiroth stays FAR away from Genesis' parents. They would eat up all his time giving him the grand tour, basically using his visit as free publicity for their business. Every time they come to snatch Sephiroth up, Genesis intentionally creates a huge distraction while Angeal whisks Sephiroth away.

Sephiroth loves the sunny weather, orchards, and country hospitality. He could get lost in these trees forever.

Angeal has him finally meet his mother Gillian. Sephiroth is shy, naturally. He ends up dumping a ton of praise for Angeal and commending her for raising one of the finest soldiers in all of Shinra. Gillian looks proud of her son, but there is a sadness in her eyes that Sephiroth can't quite read.

Angeal also introduces Sephiroth to his father...but it's a gravestone at the far end of town. Sephiroth gives Angeal some time to talk to his dad alone...since it's been a long time since he's visited.

Genesis shows the barn where he and Angeal used to hang out in as kids. And the makeshift fort in the woods, somehow miraculously still standing after years of being away. None of them can fit inside.

Gillian cooks for them, Sephiroth and Genesis for once not squabbling due to their mutual admiration and wanting to be on their best behavior.

Gen's parents finally catch up with them and somehow brought the local press with them. Genesis gets genuinely angry, especially now that there's cameras flashing everywhere. He grabs Sephiroth's wrist and just books it for the woods. Angeal "accidentally" sets off a huge Materia smokescreen and stalls everyone up.

Sephiroth and Genesis wander around in the forests for a bit, Genesis venting about how they're ALWAYS like this--clout chasers. He hates being around them. They never understood him. They were always in it for themselves.

Sephiroth just listens, head cocked, watching his friend with concern. Things are starting to make a little too much sense.

It's quiet for a bit, Genesis and Sephiroth just walking together, silent save for the chirping birds. They find a secluded spot beneath the trees, Genesis murmuring that now's probably as good a time as any. He pulls out two Banora Whites, awkwardly explaining that they came from his family's private orchard. He wanted something less abrupt, more rehearsed. But they'll never find peace so long as his family is poking around town. Might as well enjoy a good thing while they have it.

Sephiroth takes the fruit, hesitantly taking a bite. Genesis watches him expectantly, no snide quips, no poetic recitals. Simply curious, somewhat nervous.

"It's...good."

"Yeah? Really?"

A nod. "Really good. Better than I've ever had it."

"Grew it myself. The tree, I mean. Planted it when I was six."

"You did well."

"Did I?"

Sephiroth leans back, nodding earnestly as he takes another bite. "Really well. I mean it, Genesis."

"Heh...Gift of the Goddess."

They rest beneath the tree for a bit, eating the apples, enjoying the nice afternoon breeze. Genesis' eyes are wet, though Sephiroth never notices. They'll have to head back into town eventually to collect Angeal. Assuming the mob hasn't eaten him alive. But for now...this is nice.

And possibly the best day of Genesis' life.

[catdoodling]

Silver childhood head-cannons

He learnt a lot of things in a pretty random order, generally just what he was interested in on that day so for example, he leant how to dance from Malleus on the same day that he leant how to make basic medicine from Lilia

He also has no knowledge on what things have economic value, he was just as likely to use Melissas cape (which is probably made out of really fancy stuff) as a blanket as he was to use a pile of leaves and feathers. I would not be surprised if Malleus has used jewels as board game pieces before, so Silver just assumed that’s what are used for for years. This is made far worse because both Malleus and Lilia hold random things that silver has given them in far far higher value then, so for a point in time, he assumed flowers were more valuable than gold

He’s also just assume people can ask animals help like does and doesn’t get why people are so afraid of wild animals

Lilia is pretty rich from being a former general, so they’ve gone out to like different countries before, but that was always to try and find a cure for Silvers sleep curse, Silver didn’t know that for awhile, so from his perspective, they were just going out for adventure and Lilia made sure that he had a lot of fun. Malleus sulked a lot when they went out because he couldn’t join them.

When Lilia or Malleus are stressed, will just pick silver up and cuddle him. Silver is extremely used to this and doesn’t question it despite the rest of Deasomna excluding Sebek looking very confused

This might be Canon, but Lilia and malleus hoard. They never got rid of any of silvers stuff when he grew out of it, they just stole it and put it in there hoard

Sebek escaped most of this by having a semi normal family that he went back to, but he’s still was a weird kid by proximity

Also, they had to cuddle piles where Malleus was in his true dragon form and nothing you say will convince me otherwise, it would be so cute

[tangyangie]

HI!!!! Ur writings r literally the cutest it makes me cry omg, could u write karma with a very versatile social chameleon fem! s/o who is highly feminine and intellectually and emotionally mature yet exudes an energy and a sense of humor deemed as more “guy like” (get it because women can’t be funny or autistic so I just can’t possibly be a woman) and though all of e class really understood each other, there was still ofc a mild difference in the social habits of not only groups but between genders bc gender norms and generalization yeah? But instead of having a specific group that they exclusively talk to because of similar social behaviors, she prefers to weave into the situations and actually project the manner of others- so like she’s very feminine presenting and witty yet also is like a dumb high school boy. Like she could be decked out in a whole gyaru look and- think of a disney channel movie bully moment- be approached by someone and clap back with the most precise and hilariously dumbfounding response, like it’s perfectly catered to the energy the person gives off in order to deliver a blow that actually gets across and hurts ! Basically a very unexpected obscure mixture of a person that isn’t afraid of getting a joke across, even if that means wearing a mustache made from mascara and a fishing shirt to truly stand for what our country stands for🇺🇸🦅make the green m&m sexy again america

𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 🌀

desc. karma x fem!unexpected!reader!!

notes. i'm not gonna lie that was really hard to summarize but tysm for the compliment and req!!! this was so fun to write and i could tell as soon as i saw this request

also i assume this is headcanons so please tell me if that's not what you had in mind!!!

you are karma's favorite person ever.

you're smart and you're funny. it's like he's found his twin flame. except she's 100x more intense.

it's almost as if you adapt to the person you're talking to as well. he just thinks you're so interesting.

one second, you're making dirty jokes with rio—and the next, you're talking with nagisa calmly about ways to kill korosensei.

you're decked out in a long, flowy dress and screeching like an eagle, flapping your arms.

and don't get him started on how much he loves your reaction to class A.

one of them begins berating a classmates for being in class E? you're over there coming up with the most creative insults ever. combinations you didn't think were possible.

karma lives to see the look on their faces after you've delivered their personally catered insult. they're actually dumbfounded.

you're constantly the center of attention together. you're going on about why birds are actually government drones and karma's starting to throw birds into the room to try and kill korosensei.

you adapt to your surroundings. god knows how many different jokes you have with different people because of this.

you play fighting games on the whiteboard with the rest of your classmates. your character is an umbrella and you have a rain buff??

it's impossible to count how many times you've used an american country accent and gone on about how much you love women and fishing.

— "LONG LIVE BASS PRO SHOPS"

it's been at least a few months since you've been dating karma. he's still figuring you out.

you both are rubbing off on each other. now karma's calling people ingrown toenails, and you tease him because he stole that from you.

the big 5 of class A still never leave you guys alone.

teppei's pushing his tests in your guys' faces with a smug look. you push your glasses (imaginary or not) up your face and sniff, mocking him.

"actually," you sniffle. "according to my calculations, you've got as less rizz than an easy-bake oven. go get some girls and then we'll see how envious we are." you say, with a wink.

the rest of the class is laughing their asses off while teppei's got the most flabbergasted look on his face that's possible. wide eyes and eyebrows to the sky, he drops the paper and runs way crying.

you make a remark about how you love making america great again by making boys cry.

the rest of the class doesn't know how to label you. you fit in with everyone.

yet, you've also got a very distinct personality. you also make references to the weirdest things, like a specific game that got really popular in 2020, especially among middle school boys...

but, they love you nonetheless. even though sometimes, you make jokes that would send you to class ZZZ.

notes: assuming i understood what you meant correctly, i have like 10 friends like this. perhaps some of these are based of of them... (you know who you are 🩷)

[evilkitten3]

But listen, if Izuna had said yes to Hashirama's help after he was injured and he still died, would Madara rampage like in canon? Would he still chase the infinite tsukyomi?

the thing is, hashirama never offered to help izuna. i'm actually not sure he could have - the hiraishingiri pretty much cut through him like butter. moreover, while madara himself lauds hashirama's medical prowess, we actually know very little about his capabilities with medical ninjutsu. he could heal wounds without any hand seals, that's mostly all we know.

here are hashirama's words immediately after izuna is injured:

「マダラ・・・お前はオレには勝てない・・・もう・・・終わりにしよう・・・忍最強のうちはと千手が組めば・・・国も我々と見合う他の忍一族を見つけられなくなる・・・いずれ争いも沈静化していく」

"madara... you can't beat me... let's end it already. if the strongest shinobi, the uchiha and the senju, form an alliance... the country won't be able to find another shinobi clan able to counterbalance us... the conflict will eventually calm down"

he doesn't acknowledge izuna at all. whether he intended an offer of medical aid to be implied or not, it's never addressed. a bunch of people have claimed that this makes hashirama a jerk, and while i definitely get that viewpoint, i do think offering to help izuna without being absolutely certain he was capable of doing so would've been a terrible move, politically speaking. madara might have known that hashirama isn't the sort of man who would do something like this, but the rest of the uchiha clan would have no reason not to assume that hashirama didn't just take advantage of madara's kindness/trust/desperation/whatever to ensure that izuna died while potentially leaving room for madara to feel indebted to him for trying in spite of all the reasons he had not to bother.

hell, the clan might even come to the conclusion that madara intended for izuna to die so he could get his eyes, given what ended up happening in canon, so his fallout with them might actually happen even faster (and without the uchiha ever joining konoha at all, although without madara around to counter hashirama, i have no idea if/how the uchiha would manage against the senju from there)

all that aside, if hashirama had indeed offered help and izuna had agreed to take the risk and died anyway and the uchiha clan trusted that that was what had actually happened, i think pretty much everything else would've proceeded according to canon.

there's definitely plenty of fun possibilities to play around with concerning madara's path in life, but tbh i personally believe that without a massive deviation from canon, he would've eventually become who he became. hashirama definitely fucked up here and there, but i honestly don't think there was anything he could've personally done alone that would've changed madara's fate short of killing him back when they were kids, which he was never going to do. he was always doomed.

[rocksibblingsau]

Hi!! When I saw the posts of @isabel3710 and @crunchycoookies About Country Branch and his accent, the question arose: Do your rock trolls have any accents in particular? Do they have any particular linguistic characteristics?

Sorry if my question is too long or too specific. Have a nice rest and take care of yourself.

Rock Trolls canonically have varied accents, which I'm keeping in the fic! There's a mix of American and British accents, and Petra has an Australian accent. I think it's a really neat extension of just how varied rock music is compared to the other genres.

They talk very informally most of the time, with some exceptions like Demo (whose manner of speaking is similar to Classical Trolls at times). Formal talk like addressing people as sir/ma'am or speaking 'properly' (less slang, fully enunciating words) is more likely to be used sarcastically. For example if you didn't know Demo and you heard him refer to you as m'lady, as a rock troll you'd probably assume he was making fun of you. I imagine Val has to intervene a lot for him and tell people he just talks like that.

Culturally I imagine Rock Trolls would have issues trying to communicate with Classical and Country (who I imagine while they can also be informal, also have manners towards strangers) and they'd both need to not jump to assumptions during conversations.

Don't be sorry, I love questions like these!

[barbiegirldream]

Also my guesses for the New Generation World XI players

Sae Itoshi (Japan) but he plays for Spain implying Spain doesn't have a Gen XI of their own

Michael Kaiser (German) and he is German's World XI

Don Lorenzo (Italy) and he is Italy's World XI

Loki and Charles haven't been labeled World XI and Noel Noa left France for Kaiser so I think we can safely assume France does not have a World XI player.

As for the rest of Europe; Belgium, Netherlands, and Portugal dp sit highly in the FIFA's world stats they could maybe have a Gen XI player but I think Europe has been pretty milked with the NEL.

That leaves 8 more Gen XI players.

My guesses are for the countries the Gen XI players will be repping only

4. Brazil

5. Argentina

6. Maybe Colombia?

Because these two South American nations sit at the top of the real world FIFA charts. Colombia is up there but I don't know if three Gen XI will be from South America.

7. The United States/Or Canada

Not because their soccer is good but because why wouldn't they take the opportunity to make fun of US Americans. I would also laugh at a Canadian player

9. Morocco

10. Senegal

The top two performing teams in Africa on the FIFA rankings. Now again I'm saying countries where the player will be represented could be of a different nationality ie Sae is Japanese playing for Spain.

11. Australia???

I have no idea

[chevelleneech]

Again, claiming Felix isn’t physically androgynous in the most basic of ways the term/label is used, is a blatant lie, and I do not understand why kpop fans are spouting it.

You don’t have to like nor be a fan of someone to admit their gender is difficult to specify to those who don’t know them. I mean, for fucksake, Felix looks like this:

At first glance, some of these do give man, but others absolutely do not. From a very base level, heteronormative point of view, he looks like a woman more often than not lately. Which is fine, it’s just his face, lol. Making threads about how he doesn’t and people only say so because he has long hair, is stupid.

Aside from his physicality though, Felix has actually made a point to state from his own mouth that he’s intentionally aiming to be viewed as unisex. He likes the fact that he doesn’t fit into one or the other, so even if his physical appearance was more masculine, saying he can’t be androgynous at all is dismissive. Especially because androgyny is as much of an identity as it is an objective feature.

Now, I’m not saying Felix is no longer cis or wants us to toe the line of pronouns for him. All I’m saying is, he likes resting in between. He doesn’t view himself as masculine and was surprised that other people do. He said he likes having longer hair as well, and that short hair isn’t always fun. So just let him be.

For real, this once again steps into my box of, “Kpop fans love the idea of queer/non-cis idols, but hate the reality of them actually existing.” Proven all the more, because Felix has also said he has a type in men and women, which people have staunchly decided was nothing more than a joke, despite the context showing it wouldn’t make sense due to him being unaware he was being recorded.

So yeah, you know… seems like Felix is probably very likely somewhere on the queer spectrum, and is fine with that, but it’s fans both of him and not, who simply can’t accept what’s being offered. It’s all fun and games to these people when male idols in particular are written into their favorite fan fic roles, but once these same men vocalize their attraction to men in real life or showcase how accurate fics were in describing them as “Babygirl” or non-binary, it’s suddenly too much. It’s unrealistic to take as the truth, because South Korea is apparently the Mecca of queerphobia, to the point where actual queer people do not exist.

According to idol fans at least. Fuck the real life queer people living in the country fighting for their rights. Fuck the extremely few out queer idols who have said plenty of other idols are queer (which is a given). And especially fuck the idols themselves who have said they have been or are attracted to men and women. And we can’t forget he to say fuck the idols who have stated they like that their gender or presentation of self attracts all genders, or leads to them being assumed queer or non-binary. None of those people matter, because FANS have decided they’re not real😌

[radellama]

GOTY 2024

This year was pretty rough, ngl. Talking strictly in terms of gaming, I started out ok, but then was in hospital mid-March. That wrecked my wrists (and the rest of my body) so badly that I couldn’t hold a controller to play properly for months afterwards. Then… when my wrists were finally getting their strength back after a lot of physio work, MY TV SCREEN BROKE!!!

I had planned to try and go outside of my comfort zones this year, trying new stuff in genres I like, and new things in genres I’ve never tried before. I prepared a nice handful of games to try, mainly on my PS4 this year, but… without a functioning TV screen, I’m fucked lol. I had to shift focus towards stuff I can play on my handhelds and computer; which, I still had stuff to play for the year... But. Man. I wanted to play Sekiro so bad - the night I installed it I ended up in hospital, and then a few days into playing after I recovered enough to hold the controller, the TV broke! Made me a bit sad ngl!

Anyway, I have a very strange variety of games played this year. I’ve made the decision to skip writing about some of the games I played, as I either dropped them due to health issues OR simply didn’t enjoy them enough to keep slogging through. I generally don't want to write about games like this unless I've hit the credits, or gotten roughly 70%-85% through as the minumum to give it a fair go. Maybe I’ll come back to a few that I dropped, but I really don’t think I can write about my little stints that I played while utterly depressed and struggling with health issues, haha.

Regardless of dropping a few, I think I’ve got more than enough to write about this year. I have also made a neocities page where it’s easier to read everything (on mobile and web!), and spoilers are hidden if you don’t want to see them. I’ve made the decision that the full reviews will be hosted here from now on, as they’re like… the ultimate way to read these. They’re getting too long to comfortably put in a Tumblr post, but I’ll still make posts with each game’s intro and you can decide if you wanna read like usual hehe.

Usual warnings for mild-moderate game spoilers and abrasive opinions ahead.

~~~

Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns, 3DS

After playing Story of Seasons last year (and loving it!), I was exited to give Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns a go and see what improvements and changes they’d make. However, it was apparent very early on that this was going to be a frustrating play through. And that sucks, cause I love farming games! I gave it a fair go, getting halfway into the second year, and then I lost a save due to not getting my 3DS to the charger in time, and I really didn’t want to redo the previous couple of days lmao.

So, what happened!? I was very confused; the game still looked decent, clearly using the same engine and model bases as the previous game, it had a nice little story to it that helped contextualise why you move to the country and start farming, it had pretty much all the basic farming gameplay you’d expect… and yet, this felt really crap. I looked up when this game out, and it came out less than half a year after the previous Story of Seasons 3DS game. So, yeah, that kinda answers a lot for me. Now, I am just assuming that it was a rushed production based on how I felt while playing it, paired with those release dates being so close together- but this was not that fun for me!

You begin by wistfully daydreaming about becoming a farmer, and have a little spat with your father when you share that dream with him. He’s not keen on you becoming a farmer, despite coming from the farm life himself! Eventually, he concedes, and makes sure your uncle is there to greet you and help you set up everything you need on your farm. As you start to get acquainted with your new life, you’ll quickly notice that there are two blocked areas you can’t get to, and that you can only access one of the titular trio of towns. To unlock the other towns- and earn your father’s approval -you’ll have to complete certain tasks, upgrade various things, and work hard to thrive on your farm. This is a simple but sweet premise; and on it’s own, I have no issues with it- in fact, I really like that it gives a bit of motivation to do well! Who doesn’t love a bit of spite-fuelled success?

Read the full review here...

~~~

Moonlighter, Switch

I’ve had this game for a while, but never got around to it until now. After having my first real exposure to rogue-likes through Hitman’s Freelancer mode, I was curious to try and get a feel for it as a more prominent game mechanic. I couldn’t remember why I’d originally bought the game (other than it was on sale lol), but here was the perfect excuse to give it a go!

You play as a merchant named Will, who’s inherited the sole responsibility for his family’s shop- the titular Moonlighter. In this world, there seem to be two main aspirational jobs; that of the Hero and the Merchant. Heroes go out into the mysterious dungeons on the outskirts of town to collect goods, and merchants sell those goods. Will wants to become the first Hero-Merchant, and ventures off to find things he can then sell at his shop.

This illustrates the two main aspects of the game you’ll be playing through, dungeon crawling and shop simulation. The common thread between both is inventory management- picking which items you’ll be keeping from your dungeon crawls and how much you wanna sell them for.

Read the full review here...

~~~

The Sims 3, 3DS

This and the following entry are a call and response, as I played them back to back when my hands had recovered just enough after my hospital visit to hold my 3DS in bed. I wasn’t originally going to write about these, but hey… it could be fun.

Unlike this game.

I thought it would be more fun in the early stages – the character models look so much nicer than Sims 3 DS, and allowed for a better, yet still limited, range of customisation. I just wanted to play out my OC Harland becoming the best nurse in the world while having a fun romance with Magus, but this game made that so difficult!

To start, yes, I’m so happy that you can make multiple sims and build relationships, AND YOU CAN WHOO HOO!!!!!!! But... they’re not the only aspect of playing The Sims, as you’re balancing their whole life. This was really frustrating to play here, as you don’t have any metres for basic needs. You can’t see the basics like hunger, hygiene, tiredness, ect, through some simple colour coded bars and see what needs attention, like in every other Sims game. No, the only way to know what your Sim needs is via any moodlet/wishes that pop up- and this sucks because they usually only popped up when something was way too urgent, or at the most inconvenient of times!

This bled into how difficult it was to manage your Sim’s personal, work and social life. This blind balancing act was so frustrating, and it’d become even more so, as the Sims were incredibly needy and seemed to be programmed against you…

Read the full review here...

~~~

The Sims 3: Pets, 3DS

In the Polo to the previous’ Marco, this game was muuuuuch better to play! And, there’s pets!

Immediately, the gameplay was more fun because I CAN SEE THE METRES FOR EVERYONE!!!!! I can tell when they’re hungry or stinky or lonely or tired, it should’t have to be said, but I’m so glad it’s there. You can even see these for your pets, so it’s easier for them to immediately feel like part of the family as you balance their needs as well.

The basic gameplay is the same as previous, but better and more balanced to let you play how you want a little bit more – though I found that it was still a bit tricky, as the Sims were very needy and things were still balanced against you, just less egregiously, so I didn’t mind. All the things you can do with your humans, you can do an equivalent of with your pets – this means you can help them build their skills with their owners, or alone, and there is always something to do, even if all the humans in the household are out to work or asleep. If you’re close enough with your pet, you can even bring them to work, and depending on your pet’s skills, you may be able to get a promotion too!

Read the full review here...

~~~

Donut County, PS4

A simple premise for a simple game – you control a hole, and need to swallow up stuff.

I like that, I had fun playing.

This was a shorter indie game, and I remember when it was a hyped up fad years ago. I saw it on sale while I was getting Katamari as a game that’d have easier controls while my wrists and hands were still recovering from my trip to the hospital, so… why not?

I finished the game in one sitting, over an hour or two, and have come back to play it now and then when the itch hits. I really like the simple puzzle elements of swallowing items into the hole and getting progressively bigger as you swallow more stuff. In later levels, there are more mechanics added to this, like absorbing water which makes items float instead of getting swallowed, or a catapult that you can launch recently swallowed items up into the sky with. These get a few chances to evolve and force you to think about how to interact with the environment and solve the puzzle of swallowing up everything.

Read the full review here...

~~~

Katamari Darmacy: Reroll, PS4

What a weird little game! A really fun one, but super weird. This one has been in my peripheral for years, and I’ve been wanting to play for a while - so it was nice to finally have the excuse to get it.

The game is pretty simple – there’s stuff everywhere, and you need to roll it up! You play as the little Prince, and have a self-absorbed father- The King of All Cosmos, who talks in exclusively in record scratches -who tasks you with rolling up stuff to turn into stars and refill the sky after he destroyed it. To do so, you will be dumped into an area and told to roll up a certain amount of stuff in a certain amount of time, and if you do a good enough job, you’ll get a slightly less condescending response from the King.

The vibe is really fun, with low poly models of everything and a distinctly jazzy soundtrack, bringing a unique and charismatic charm to the game. It’s easy to see why it became a bit of a cult classic, and still seems to be held in high regard from what I’ve seen; it’s genuinely pleasant to play when you get the hang of the controls and immerse yourself in the humour of it all. There are cutscenes here and there following two young children who notice the stars in the sky have disappeared, only to be dismissed by their mother. The more you fill the sky with stars, the more you’ll see what they’re up to, which is a funny but nice way to see your progress.

Read the full review here...

~~~

Hitman: Blood Money, PS4

Having fallen in love with the World of Assassination Trilogy, I was curious about the previous entries in the series and wanted to see more of how Hitman came to be. I often hear everyone hype up Blood Money as the best one, so... why not start there?

The story is framed through a series of flashbacks during a conversation between a former FBI director and a journalist. They are discussing the many run-ins they’ve had with the elusive Agent 47, segueing into the missions you play. There’s background information you’ll notice if you pay attention, like the controversial nature of clones and how the current vice president is involved in some kind of political ploy for a rival agency to the one 47 works for. I won’t lie, the plot felt a little messy and melodramatic to me, so it wasn’t the easiest to follow along with, but on the whole it was engaging enough to keep me interested.

The game starts with a great tutorial, that- while a bit hand-holdy and linear -gave a thorough introduction to all of the main mechanics you’ll need to play the game. There’s basic stuff; like changing outfits, sneaking around, hiding bodies, and using various weapons and distractions to your advantage – but there’s also more advanced mechanics to be mindful of, like how to smuggle weapons, poison food and drink, setting up accidental kills and using people as covers while shooting. Some are more polished than others, with some feeling well executed for what it is, and others leaving a little to be desired.

Read the full review here...

~~~

Power Wash Simulator, Switch

I wasn’t going to write about this, as I didn’t think there’d be much to say… but I got addicted.

And of course I have a lot to say.

After spending something like 300+ hours with the game this year, it’s safe to say I enjoyed it. So much so, that it became a danger for me to play. It was a great brain-off comfort while struggling with long term chronic pain and recovering from my hospital trip, and even when I’d worked hard and started to get a bit better physically, I’d still lose days to this game. I even bought the Shrek DLC (which was pretty fun), and would end up just mindlessly replaying my favourite levels over and over simply out of habit.

So, what do you do in this game?

You clean shit with a pressurised water spray. That’s pretty much it.

If you find no satisfaction with that kinda thing, then this isn’t the game for you! The more I played, however, the more I noticed some of the quirks and cool features of this game. So lets get into it.

To start with, this is a game played in first person, and you control the nozzle of your water gun. Walking around and aiming the water is pretty standard for dual sticks, but you can press a button to hold the camera still and only move the nozzle if that’s what you’d like. The main goal is to clean something that’s filthy, and at the end of every level you get to watch a little speed run of your cleaning. When replaying levels (and knowing what angle this speed run view is) I found it fun to clean away the dirt in patterns that’d be more interesting to watch sped up- it’s like one last treat at the end!

Read the full review here...

~~~

JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Eyes of Heaven, PS4

In my endeavours to try new things this year, I decided to play Eyes of Heaven while I stayed at my friend’s house a couple times this year. I’d watched JJBA parts 1-5 with her when we lived together, and had actually bought her this game as a gift - so why not give it a go?

I have historically not enjoyed fighting games; I just don’t understand the techniques or skill expected of me as a player, and the mechanics so often feel like they're held together with duct tape, resulting in button mashing being your best bet. Knowing this, I genuinely made an effort to try and learn what this game is asking of me, and figure out the best techniques to fight in my favour. That said, there was still a lot of button mashing- but that works. All I really expected from a JoJo game was to muda-muda-muda my way through enemies, and you can definitely do that!

The story was a lot more than I was expecting, and certainly was bizarre; so I was glad that there was a through-line, however vague, to keep players invested and show some sort of progress. The game didn’t recreate or adapt storylines straight from JoJo, rather, combined all of them vaguely in it’s own thing. There’s temporal/inter-dimensional rifts opening up and causing havoc, which connects to various points in the JoJo series. There are a bunch of enemies to fight, and for some reason, friends of the various JoJo’s are acting strange too! You’ll fight friend and foe alike, slowly revealing that you need to collect scattered parts of a holy corpse to save your friends, defeat your enemies, and get to the bottom of all this strangeness. It’s as simple as a JoJo plot can be, and was a clever way to have all the JoJo’s and pals across various points in time (and dimensions!) team up and fight their enemies.

Read the full review here...

~~~

Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story, DS

As someone who loves Paper Mario 64, I was talking with a friend about it, and he mentioned that he LOVES this game. It’s a game pitched to me as similar enough to the other Mario RPGs, but not quite the same as Paper Mario. I didn’t know anything about the game, and don’t think I’d really heard of the Mario and Luigi series properly until he brought it up, so why not give it a go?

Immediately upon booting, I noticed that this game world seemed quite flavourful and full of character, which was nice to see! I miss this sort of thing in Mario games, and it’s not something I’d expect to see out of any mainline 2D or 3D Mario games, especially not these days.

The plot started strong – the Mushroom Kingdom has been overrun with an epidemic of… the blorbs! Those suffering with a case of the blorbs will find themselves ballooned in size, feeling quite rotund, and unable to do anything. It’s quite the problem, so Peach holds an emergency meeting to figure out what to do. Starlow, a representative of the Star Sprites (who will be known as Chippy for most the game), has been sent to help, but even she can’t cure the blorbs. Just as Mario and Luigi arrive to this meeting, Bowser makes and appearance too. This causes a ruckus, he gets upset when he sees Mario, and havoc ensues.

Read the full review here...

~~~

Fear and Hunger, PC/Mac

I wanted one last game to play before wrapping up the year and writing these, and I had two games on my computer that I really wanted to get to, but didn’t get the chance to squeeze both in because of my health issues this year. I was lamenting over this with my bestie, and they suggested I do a coin flip.

Funny, that, as flipping a coin is not just a mechanic of the game, but something I consider to be the main motif of everything this game is about. But, I’m getting ahead of myself here. This game is dreadful, leaves you feeling heavy and ick-ed out- and I love it for that.

Before I get too far into this review, I do want to preface some warnings about the game. It has a lot of dark and disturbing themes, and does not shy away from them – so take the trigger warnings seriously. I cannot talk about this game without covering the subject matter in depth, and I do not want to gloss over it for the sake of being ‘palatable,’ as that defeats the point. If depictions and discussion of nudity, sexual content, rape, drug use, substance abuse, suicide, bodily harm, dismemberment, or graphic depictions of violence and gore are too much for you, take this as the warning to skip over this one.

I went into this game pretty blind- all I knew is that it was an indie cult hit, the battle system intrigued me, and the dark themes drew me in. Now having played, I feel like that’s the optimal way to jump in; blindly trying to figure stuff out as you go. But, if you want a little more context, I’m certainly going to go in depth, so let’s get started.

Read the full review here...

[mgnifiqueyoo]

— "love at first spark."

requested by: anon pairing: zb1 matthew x fem!reader song recommendation: dear no one (tori kelly) lowercase is intended… — a/n: y'aaaaall, i really wanted to start writing a zb1 oneshot but i actually didn't know where to start but thanks to the person who requested this, here's my first ever seok matthew oneshot! i hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! ^^ (btw, i am also thinking of making a masterlist for all my uploaded projects very soon!)

[ total words: 1.9k ]

click here to support me on ko-fi! ☕ click on this g.form link to request!

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

“ricky, i’m fine. you don’t have to call me every hour. tell mom and dad that i’m doing just great, okay?”

it was the second week since you moved into your new dorm. flying across the country is not really what you expected at all this year. you already had your plans; just trying out an online entrance exam to a university abroad and then, not expecting anything from it. you could say that it was all “just for fun” until you received an e-mail.

and that letter basically told you that you had to move out. 

“look, i don’t trust you on your own and i’m just looking out for you,” your brother said back in defense, probably already making up an excuse for this call to even take place. “... i’m gonna miss you a lot, y/n.”

“me too.” you paused for a bit as you remembered how fun it was to be back home. with each day that passes, things are changing and you just couldn’t believe that this was the actual start of something new. out of the country and pursuing something so difficult– law. “... m’kay, i’ll text you later after i review. love you, ricky.”

“... love you, too.”

ending the call yourself, you chuckled at the way he sounded so hesitant to say those words back. ricky would refuse to admit it but there was always that soft side in him that comes out every time something completely life-changing takes place; the type of thing that doesn't really have a clear answer in the end.

to him, this was one of those things.

by the time you got back to your plans, you were already so eager to start cleaning out your desk to spend the rest of your hours with your nose stuck in a book– and, oh, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"huh?" you stood up straight after bending down the table, your palms still looking for that bright, vibrant blueish aqua highlighter you'd always use for notes. "... just a second!"

nonetheless, you made your way to the door even though you had no idea who else could've been behind it. and once you opened it, you were met with a guy who held a mysterious box; he had dirty blond hair and a nice set of teeth that seemed to have been covered once he saw you.

but why?

"sorry, who are you?" "here's your order… ma'am?"

he didn't even sound sure when he said that last word as you took the box in your own hands, your brows furrowed. god, you were just so confused. you didn't even buy anything!

"... there's no way you're jonathan whales, right?"

that's when things got clearer for you as the tensed muscles on your face slowly loosened up… but at what cost? this guy in front of you obviously just got ditched by some horrible customer. 

"well," your smile widens but it only made him feel a lot more unsettled, especially with those dead eyes of yours staring back at him, "i'm not a johnathan apparently."

the boy in front of you bit his bottom lip, frowning as he squinted his eyes in anxiousness and a whole lot of uncertainty. he scratches the back of his neck, confused yet curious eyes looking around your dorm room from the outside as he later lets out a defeated sigh.

"... have i been scammed?"

your shoulders slowly rose up as a grimace was plastered on your face, your head nodding hesitantly in response. the blond had every right to roll his eyes, letting out a deep breath as you quickly assumed that he didn't like the way you reacted.

but in your defense, you were just starting your weekend with a supposed two-hour long review session. you didn't expect an unpaid package and a scammed seller to come by your doorstep!

"hold on… let me check my account." he raised his pointer finger up for a bit, pulling out the phone from his hoodie's pocket. not once did he smile at the view of whatever it was on his screen. "... oh, no."

"not a good news, isn't it?" "yeah… i just got robbed."

you widen your eyes, baffled at this ridiculous situation happening right in front of you. ‘i can’t just leave him here, can’t i?’ you thought to yourself, also letting out the same deep breath he did. — well, all those things you wanted to do? they’re gonna be done tomorrow because you feel the need to help this guy.

looking down at the package you held, you noticed how neatly it was prepared and you knew that this guy wanted to impress his customer. “... what’s your name?”

“matthew... matthew seok.” he then stared at the bulletin board behind your desk, raising both of his eyebrows in what seemed like fascination. “and i think we go to the same university, miss l/n? i’m really sorry- i need to take this back.”

as he reached for the package, you frowned, pulling it away from him. for some unknown reason, you didn’t want to return to him. 

“no,” you argued shortly, causing him to tilt his head, making him even more confused than before, “i’ll pay for it.”

the blond lets out a chuckle that is obviously having a lot of feelings mixed. you couldn’t help but mentally curse yourself for refusing to return the parcel to him. “you don’t have to do that-”

“this is mine now. i’ll pay for it.” your arm covered the lid of the box in baby blue shades, your brows furrowing further as matthew seemed to not get the memo yet. was it because it’s his first time meeting someone as persistent as this? or was it because he just didn’t know what to do? anyway, you cared less enough to answer those questions.

and instead, paid attention to this weird, sudden desire of this random parcel that you didn’t even purchase. “listen, i know you want to help me but i don’t want you spending your money on this.” matthew’s growing concern didn’t fade away at all as his hands reached for the box once more, resulting in you flinching as you held it in your arms tightly. — this is the weirdest you’ve ever been.

‘why am i so obsessed with this?’ you asked yourself silently in a form of an uncertain gulp and a puzzled, blank stare at the seller, who still stood by your doorstep. “what’s inside of it?”

“... well, you don’t need to know-” “is it drugs?” “what? no!”

but no matter how many times the guy tried to stop you, your hands started tearing the tapes around the box’s lid and body. — this is the most chaotic you’ve ever been. “ma’am, calm down!” he grabbed your wrists to catch your attention and it did… in the most unusual way.

in fact, it was so unusual that your gripping hands let go of the box, letting the package fall on the floor, a loud thud and a few cracks were heard. looking down, you soon realized that it was a record player. 

'oh, what a shame,' you thought, deep into your regrets. it was like there was this rope pulling you towards it even though you didn't know what this "johnathan whales" guy bought.

and apparently, it was really pretty, sky blue record player.

“i… i told you i’d pay for it,” you blurted out, unsure of the consequences as matthew kept his head down, taking a few deep breaths. audible and full of shame. you were sure that you just made the situation worse. “i’m sorry.”

as his hands let go of your wrists, you swore that something stinging was left on your skin. no, it wasn’t an insect or the itchy feeling of your sweatshirt. it wasn’t even the wind that entered your room from the windows… it was something else.

and there were sparks of it.

in pink and are all over your arms, glowing before they faded away like nothing; like it was some smoke.

“did you just… see that?” matthew did not wait for a second to let it pass, staring right into your soul with no plans of looking somewhere else. “you saw that, right? am i just hallucinating or-”

“no, i saw it too.” you couldn’t look away from him, founding comfort in the fact that he also saw (and felt) the same thing. not to mention, it didn’t look like it was just a faint glimpse– it was like fireworks in the afternoon skies, especially the ones before the clock strikes five o’clock. 

the boy then took a step back, realizing that he still held your arms as the time-stopping ambiance slowly left the room; but it lingered as if hours had gone by. “... what do you think was it?” he rocked himself back and forth in an almost unnoticeable way, little by little. you could see the genuine curiosity in his eyes but you were left with no answer.

i mean, how does someone know the reason behind that? seeing magenta sparks? it’s already so delusional just by listening to those words. “i’m not sure about that… do you want to talk about it?” you had no idea that you opened a new path for him as he kept his head tilted, jaw slightly left hanging as he smiled with his pretty teeth. 

“are you kidding? of course! i mean, you’d never see anything like that everyday!” he joked, making you let out a chuckle that was still very much lost in the moment. 

finding yourself staring at him, you woke yourself up in the middle of it, standing by the side of the doorframe to let him walk in as he giggled, oddly settled after all that disaster earlier as you began to slowly see the bright side in it, too.

“can you give me a moment to fix this mess?" you asked, which made him nod almost immediately, later walking his way in. you expected him to sit on the solo couch to make himself at least feel at home but he only stood, looking around with his bright eyes. 

and again, it made you smile for no reason. “so, you study law, huh? that’s pretty hard, isn’t it?” his eyes were glued to the textbooks that were piled on your desk as you chuckled, shrugging right after. 

“well, it’s something that i really wanted to do,” you said back, slightly biting the tip of your tongue as you remembered the mess you’ve made off of his product. “matthew, i’m so sorry for what happened. i’ll pay for it, i promise-”

“hey, i just told you that you don’t have to! we’ll just… i don’t know? tell this to the police? maybe they could do something.” he interrupted you, still pushing his priorities over your suggestion. and even though you didn’t like that, he sure did have a point. none of this was your fault. if only the scammer was a genuine customer, this wouldn’t have taken place.

but something tells you that this was meant to happen. you’re just not sure why.

once you returned to the ruined box with the badly damaged record player, his glare followed every move you made. maybe even syncing with the rhythm of your breathing. “... would you let me help you with that?” he offered as you turned to look back at him, exerting extra effort, considering that you’re crouched to the ground with broken pieces in both of your hands. 

“that’d be great.” you laughed as he did so too before continuing to sit down next to you, willing to share the work with you at least. 

when silence was starting to take over, the blond paused for a while as he couldn’t help but stare at you and it intrigued him. was it the way you were so determined in helping him? was it because of how odd the situation was? he never had a clue. “i think it’s not just my money that was stolen.” 

you faced him in response, raising an eyebrow with eyes shining in interest. “what else was stolen, then?” you let out another laugh once more, noticing the way you felt drawn to him more and more. for a bit, he seemed like he didn’t want to say those next few words but of course, he wouldn’t let such a perfect chance pass.

“... i think you just stole my heart.”

[dreamy625]

One-shot - Barbie

Content: Casual drinking and smoking

Words: 2670

-----------------------------

Steve is considering a third drink and determinedly ignoring the clock over the bar as it ticks on from fashionably late to may-as-well-not-bother when he hears in a throaty drawl from behind him:

“Of all the gin joints in all the towns…”

His face breaks into a broad grin, “Barbie!”

“Don’t…” she kisses him on one cheek, “...call me Barbie...” and then the other, “Stevie.”

She hops up on the neighbouring bar stool and reaches for the pack of cigarettes in front of him.

“I knew it was you the second I saw your hair; still bulk-buying the peroxide I see!”

“Still putting your lipstick on with a trowel I see!” he counters, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand before waving to the bartender. “Gin and tonic, no ice, lime not lemon. And another one of these please.”

“So what brings you to my part of town? Do they not have pubs in Chelsea?”

“I’m supposed to be at a party. Industry bigwigs. Journalists. Mensch is making me go.”

“To prove you haven’t been kicked out of the band?”

“You’ve heard the rumours then?”

“Oh yes. But then I also heard you married a stripper and moved to Vegas, so…” she shrugs.

“That sounds more fun. Nah, it just goes on like it always does - do this, do that, don’t do that. The same old merry-go-round. Ages to go on the new record before we can get back out on the road again.” Their drinks arrive and he pushes a five-pound note across the bar. “And you’ve been conspicuous by your absence this past year, what have you been up to?”

“Oh you know, bit of writing, bit of design work. Plying my trade wherever they’ll have me.”

“How many countries this time?”

“Only three so far this year - Greece, Japan, and LA of course.”

“Ahh, jealous, I loved Japan. I’ve just gone back and forth to Dublin about four million times. Joe built his own studio,” he explains.

“Convenient.”

“For Joe it is. Phil’s in the US and Rick’s back in Holland, so the rest of us are clocking up a lot of airmiles.”

“You’ve not considered moving?”

“Nah, I’m settled where I am. Travelling’s good, but I want somewhere to come home to, somewhere that speaks proper English.” 

There’s something he’s carefully not saying and Barbara, of course, hears it loud and clear. “So where’s that American girlfriend of yours?”

“Which one?” asks Steve, lighting another cigarette and offering the packet to his companion. “Don’t matter anyway, answer’s the same - gone, got sick of me and buggered off to pastures new.”

“Oh sweetheart,” She pats his hand before reaching for the matches. “Always unlucky in love.” 

“Ain’t that the truth. Inexplicable really,” he looks down at the countertop before flicking his eyes up to hers, “when I have such good taste in women.”

Barbara laughs, not quite the reaction he’d been hoping for. “Very good Clarkie, have you been practising that?”

“Whaddya mean, works every time.” He turns his head to hide the blush threatening to colour his cheeks and motions to the barman for more drinks. Serves him right for assuming. Changing tack, he asks, “Are you here on your own?”

“Are you about to ask what a nice girl like me is doing in a place like this?”

“I know what you’re doing in here - chatting up strange men so you can pinch their cigarettes! I merely wished to enquire about your social arrangements.”

“Ah, very proper. I came in with some people from the magazine I’ve been writing for, but they’re going for a curry, so I guess I’m footloose and fancy free.”

“Good to know, thank you kindly.” He stubs out the cigarette, pondering his next move…

“Do you want to drink that?” She nods at the double brandy the bartender has just placed in front of him. “Or do you want to come home with me?”

“Can’t I do both?”

“From past experience, no,” smirks Barbara with a flick of her eyes down to his lap.

Steve blinks once before making the fastest decision of his life, pushing the glass back across the bar and dropping down from the bar stool almost in one movement.

A short walk brings them to a three-storey townhouse, not unlike his own, but this one, and the others in the terrace, has been split into flats and has the slightly dilapidated, uncared-for look common to buildings housing an ever-changing population of tenants. Barbara’s flat is on the third floor; high ceilings and fancy wallpaper, but just two rooms. Almost every time he saw her, she was living in a different short-term rental, squat, or half-empty house-sitting gig. The perpetual rolling stone, wherever she lay her hat was her home; although in Barbara’s case the ‘hat’ was three tea chests full of books and records, scarves and tapestries from far-flung places to cover every surface, and a stuffed parrot on a perch. Which meant that every place looked and smelt the same - like a poorly-kept antique store - and Steve would always feel himself being watched by a beady avian eye as he stumbled around in the middle of the night looking for yet another unfamiliar bathroom.

“So let me give you the tour.” Barbara takes three steps into the middle of the living room and does a slow twirl with her arms out. “This concludes our tour.”

“Nice. Frank’s looking well.” He waves to the parrot, so-named for its uncanny resemblance to Frank Zappa, receiving the usual glass-eyed stare in return. 

“So, d’you want a drink?” 

Steve shakes his head. 

“Or coffee?”

Another shake.

“Or…”

Steve smiles a lazy smile. “C’mere.”

Barbara tilts her chin up in mock defiance, but walks towards his open arms, peeling her coat off as she goes.

“I’ve missed you, Barbie.”

“Don’t call me…” The rest of the sentence dissolves into a muffled ‘mmph’ as Steve presses his lips to hers.

Her eager response is both exciting and warmly familiar - hers is a body he knows so well and returns to with delight - and as he works on ridding them both of extraneous clothing on the way to the bedroom, his only concern is picking the correct closed door and not ending up in a broom cupboard!

Later, satisfied and spent, with his girl curled up next to him and tracing drowsy circles on his chest, he lets his mind wander through memories of their long and convoluted relationship. 

Barbara had always roused a mixture of emotions. She was beautiful, charming, clever, and had a worldly sophistication that had been incredibly exotic to a boy who’d barely left Yorkshire. He’d been mesmerised by her from the first meeting, and the years of chance encounters and brief liaisons had done little to diminish her allure. On one hand, she was easy to be with, probably one of, no, the only, person he felt completely comfortable with. She didn’t expect anything of him, or want anything from him. Other than the obvious, which he gave gladly and enthusiastically. Even then, on the few occasions too much booze had made that impossible, she seemed equally happy to sort herself out (which in itself had been a notable lesson in his education in the ways of the modern woman). But on the other hand, why didn’t she want more? Why did she always slip from his grasp just when he’d started to believe that this was more than a dalliance? For Steve, who’d always fallen in love so easily and so completely, the only conclusion was that there was something wrong with him - why else would you so willingly let someone into your bed, but be so unwilling to let them into your heart? His only comfort was that she was, at least, consistent in her inconsistency; each time she would wriggle free but, eventually, there would be another postcard, another message on the answerphone. And each time there would be a tiny spark of hope; this time, maybe this time, she was tired of wandering… 

Steve woke to the sound of a lorry reversing, watery sunlight sneaking through the gap in the curtains, and absolutely no idea where he was. Then he registered the warmth of another body loosely spooned against his back and the familiar scent of Yves Saint Laurent Opium. Oh yeah. With a smile on his face he drifts back to sleep.

The second time he wakes is less peaceful - it sounds like someone in the street repeatedly throwing a tin bath down a flight of stairs.

Beside him, Barbara yawns and mutters, “Bin day.” And then, “What time is it?”

He gropes for his watch discarded on the bedside table and squints at the dial. “Just gone nine.”

She groans and rolls out of bed, lifting a silk dressing gown from its hook on the back of the door before vanishing through it. Steve hears the protesting grumble of an old cistern and then running water. Sliding reluctantly from under the warm heavy quilt, he picks up his shirt from the floor and, pulling it on, follows the sound to a tiny bathroom housed in what he can only assume was originally, before the advent of indoor plumbing, a cupboard. Manoeuvring past Barbara - standing at the sink squeezing toothpaste from a crumpled tube - he pisses in the practically antique toilet and pulls the chain. Putting an arm around either side of her, he rinses his hands under the running tap, giving an involuntary shudder at the icy temperature. He shakes off the water, ‘accidentally’ flicking a few drops at Barbara’s face, which makes her wrinkle up her nose, then wraps his arms around her. She squeaks as his cold hands make contact, but he just hugs tighter. Looking in the mirror above the basin, and trying to ignore whatever sticking-up tangle his hair has knitted itself into overnight, he studies their combined reflection.

When they first got together they’d seemed an ill-suited pairing - he, younger in both looks and life experience than his nineteen years, and she, at thirty, a woman in her prime living a life packed with travel and culture. To the casual observer they may have appeared more like teacher and student than lovers. But they shared the same slightly off-the-wall sense of humour, and the same hunger to see the world and devour all it had to offer, and they had been instantly compatible in the bedroom, so it had worked well enough in the short snatches of time they had together. Now, time and, let’s be honest, a less-than-healthy lifestyle, had turned Steve’s once boyish features into something still handsome but more weathered than one might expect at twenty-nine, while Barbara, aside from a few deepened lines around her eyes, had barely aged in the intervening ten years. Their faces in the mirror matched, they looked like a real couple. 

“Do you have to go to work?” When she shakes her head, the brush still in her mouth, he ducks his head and kisses her neck just beneath her ear. “Come back to bed then.”

Afterwards, propped up against crumpled pillows and sharing the last cigarette in the packet, Steve feels a rare sense of calm and contentment, clear-headed and with a pleasant ache in a few muscles he hadn’t given that kind of workout in a while.

“We could go out for breakfast? Or do anything really. What would you like to do?”

“What I’d like to do is lie on a chaise longue sipping a mimosa, but what I actually have to do is pack and fly to Buenos Aires at six o’clock.”

Steve’s face falls. “Buenos Aires? What for?”

“An editing job. One of those Rough Guide-type things.”

“When will you be back?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s a one-way ticket.” She glances around the once-grand but now rather tatty bedroom. “I’m subletting my sublet, so there’s nothing I need to come back for.”

“Nothing?” asks Steve, trying not to pout.

“Oh darling,” she reaches out a hand and presses her finger against the protruding lip, “don’t look at me like that. I’ll always be there for you, you know that. It’ll just be on the other end of a phone line for a while. Or you’re bound to be in Argentina sooner or later.”

Steve drops his head onto her shoulder. He knows how this will go, how it always goes, but he can’t stop himself. “But what if I want more than the occasional phone call?”

He feels more than hears her sigh. “You can’t always have what you want.”

“But why not?”

“Because you don’t just want more, you want everything - the wife waiting at home with your dinner on the table, the 2.4 apple-cheeked children, a lawn to mow on a Sunday morning. You want happy ever after. And that’s not what I want. I couldn’t do that if I tried.”

“But it must mean something, that we keep ending up together? Maybe you are meant to be my fairytale ending.”

“Sweetie, we shagged in a closet the night we met, that’s not a fairytale, that’s a Jackie Collins novel!”

“That was your idea! I was nineteen, I’d never met anyone like you, what was I going to do? Say no? I’d’ve bought you a candlelit dinner if you’d let me!”

“You would as well. You were such a sweet little thing.”

Steve attempts to refute this with a growling sneer, but Barbara just laughs and pats his leg. 

“Anyway, my big tough rockstar, unless you’re going to help me pack, I think it’s time for you to get going. There’s probably still a couple of teabags left. I will forgo my usual disdain of domesticity and make you a cup of tea while you get dressed?”

“Ohh-kaay,” he agrees reluctantly, shivering as she throws back the duvet.

In the kitchenette, she hands him a mug of dark brown liquid. “Sorry, the milk was making a determined effort to become cheese. But it is Yorkshire tea so…”

“Aye, that’ll do. Glad you got something from me at least.”

“Everything else cleared up with penicillin.”

“Cheeky!”

Barbara starts to load plates, washed and unwashed, into a cardboard box. “Pass me those spoons would you.” She drops them haphazardly on top of the crockery. “That girlfriend of yours, is it really over?”

“Yeah. She went off with someone else. Bit of a relief if I’m honest. Not my best decision ever.”

“Not her, the other one, the model.”

“Lorelei.” Steve leans back against the fridge and gazes at the flaking paint on the ceiling. “I royally fucked that one up. No way back there.” 

“That’s sad. She seemed nice.”

“She is nice. Too nice. She deserves better.”

Barbara moves to stand in front of him. There is love in her expression, but also something steely. 

She reaches up and strokes his cheek. “You’re too hard on yourself. Your perfect girl is out there somewhere, I know it.”

“In Argentina?” he asks plaintively.

She shakes her head, “Don’t.” She takes the mug from his hand, pours the dregs down the sink, and adds it to the box. 

Steve understands that he’s being dismissed and picks up his jacket from the back of the chair.

“Now, do you want custody of Frank? I’m not sure the new tenants will appreciate him.”

Steve eyes the slightly moth-eaten bird without enthusiasm. “No offence Frank, but you’re not much of a substitute.”

By the door, he bends to pull on his boots, then pats his pockets - keys, wallet, matches, must remember to get more ciggies on the way home. 

“Bye then. Have a good trip.”

“I’ll write. Promise.”

“You’d better.” He pulls her into a tight hug and drops a kiss on her forehead. “Look after yourself, okay.”

“Don’t worry, I always do.” 

She slides back the bolt and opens the door wide onto the shabby, faintly cabbagey-smelling, landing. Steve looks back as he reaches the stairs, but the door is already closed.

-----------------------------

I’m sorry, I had to break his heart just a tiny bit :/

For context, irl Barbara Salisbury was Steve’s on and off lover from the very early days (she was a publicist for their first record company) until, well, it’s not clear if they ever stopped seeing each other. She was described as very independent and free-spirited and I often wonder how our romantic traditionalist coped with that.