#I assume a big part of it is his relative age IRL
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I don’t mean this in any sort of mean way, I’m asking genuinely, but why is Dark Choco so widely shipped, whether with canon characters or OCs?
Like he has so many ships, whether they be common or rarepairs. Sure he’s popular, but even other popular characters I don’t think have as many as him. Like, with most of them, you can easily point their most popular ship or two. But with Dark Choco, he has several, and I don’t even know which one is the most popular
Like there’s darkvelvet, which I assume is currently the most popular, but I don’t think it always has been. Darkmilk is…contentious to say the least, but it is still very well known. And you have other big ones like darklico, darkwolf, darkwhip (which I’m told is one of the ancient popular ships), just to name a few. And a lot of the ships vary wildly between the kinds of characters
What is the appeal of Dark Choco to make him so widely shippable?
#I assume a big part of it is his relative age IRL#he’s been here since the first year of Ovenbreak and he’ll have been around for like 8 years come September#so like some of these ships are old or they’re just a product of the old way of shipping in the fandom#since I’m told it used to be different when there weren’t really storylines in the games#and also combined with the appeal of his character normally#I mean I genuinely don’t know what my favorite ship with him is since there’s so many#and despite being such a big fan of him I haven’t really thought in my head what would be the best in a partner for him#but yeah I legit just want to know#why does he have such a mass appeal in the shipping scene?#because I feel like it’s way more than others#cookie run#dark choco cookie#questions#shipping
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Centaurworld Rewrite: A Serious Adventure AU - S1E1 Outline
I’m doing rewrite outlines, prepare for some AU. That being said, I still like several parts of Centaurworld a lot, namely Rider, Horse, Wammawink, and whatever the hell is going on with the Nowhere King, and hope there’s a second season to watch (which I will if Netflix doesn’t ruin our hopes and dreams).
Anyways, here’s like, a rewrite or whatever. I will probably post the outlines as I go, episode by episode. Will I get to them all? ADHD-willing, we’ll see. Also feel free to use these ideas/outlines? I don’t mind.
Also assume there are songs in this even if I don’t specifically mention all of them. Also I guess this rewrite kinda chains the 1st and 2nd episodes together as a two parter? Maybe, idk.
Also I’ll preface this with this too: I ship Wammahorse, yes I SHIPSHIP it. Moving on.
Some headcanons before we start:
Warworld (*the world Rider and Horse are from) is a Low Fantasy Setting, there IS magic, but it comes in two variations, either very subtle low-powered but relatively uncommon, or Terrifyingly Powerful and so extremely rare to the point that it’s not very well known and “just myths” (usually for Big Baddies)
Ideas for Horse’s Degree of Sapience Prior to Worldhopping:
A: Horse was just a regular, non-magical horse, and their exposure to the Artifact and Centaurworld has essentially made them a Fully Uplifted Animal. - This is interesting, but ultimately a difficult idea to convey because it would require a lot more setup and wouldn’t exactly fit Horse’s characterization without some rework. This is an amazing idea, but I won’t be using it because it would slow things down too much.
B: Horse is a low-fantasy magic steed raised as warhorse/war asset, who is much smarter than your average animal steed/companion similar to a DND Ranger’s pets, or Mabari from Dragon Age, or a Ranger Horse from John Flanagan’s ‘Ranger’s Apprentice.’ The combined exposure to the Artifact and Centaurworld could account for her gaining speech and her body expressing limited physical adaptation to Centaurworld’s different physics (her body’s new extended range of motion for example) but of course I’ll be limiting this because having stakes make it more fun imho. This is my favorite, I’m using this.
Horse would’ve been considered a very valuable war asset (trained warhorses are like, historical ferraris, expensive as hell, i can only imagine what low-magical smart warhorses would be valued at), though still ultimately expendable for the war effort like anything else
Let Horse have horse behaviors (*can you tell I haven’t really left my horse phase behind lol)! Nipping and grooming behaviors as affection or warnings, ear positions to indicate mood, grazing to eat, laying down only when truly relaxed, sleeping standing up. COME ON.
Centaurworld is a High Fantasy world with an Absurdist bent but with darker undertones, similar to how Adventure Time is, with an extremely high saturation of magic, maybe you could even theorize that due to the Splitting of the Two Worlds that all the magic is being Dammed up in Centaurworld like a river or reservoir, this could be a future plot thread that could be picked up in a later season.
Basic Changes:
Durpleton, Glendale, Ched and Zulius are supporting cast, not main
Durpleton is less stupid and more of a Kronk-expy: a little dim but ultimately kind/means well, has at least 1 life skill he’s good at buried in there though for the life of me I can’t think of one right now.
Glendale’s Narrative Framing: Glendale is amazing, but the kleptomania will be allotted ONE (or two) joke mentions but narratively isn’t treated like one after, somehow establish that her kleptomania is directly intertwined with her anxiety levels. Are there other denizens of the Valley that know the Herd? Are they mad at Glendale for stealing things? Does Wammawink have to constantly run interference to cover for Glendale? Probably.
Make Ched look like less of a pointless asshole: Have him show concern for his friends’ safety and his suspicion of outsiders, AKA Horse. If he’s going to be a jerk, at least let it serve a purpose.
Zulius can stay roughly the same - Zulius is great okay, just don’t tell me there’s backstory and then NOT TELL OR SHOW US ANY CLUES about what said backstory/history IS! (other than forcing us infer/project the headcanon[?] that him and Splendib might’ve been exes, from how they act around each other without any other context/visual/or confirming exposition we literally know nothing other than Splendib and him split/had a nasty falling out and Splendib took the glittercats and the career in the divorce.)
S1E1: Hello Rainbow Road
Opening scene in Warworld
If these episodes were allowed to be longer (shuddup it’s my AU), have the scene open with Horse sees Rider comes running out of some underground castle ruin catacombs and ominous roaring and clanging behind her as she deliberately sets off a dungeon booby trap (arrows or fire) she must’ve avoided while dungeon crawling earlier, and Horse runs towards her and circles at a canter and then Rider does a Running Mount (mounting a horse while the horse is in motion) and shoots an arrow at that flies offscreen
Smash cut to the DRAWBRIDGE door falling and Rider and Horse come galloping out while dodging some javelins and arrows and 1.5 seconds later 1-4 armored minotaurs (the lizardmen?) riding some coursers (swift horses or horselike creatures idk have fun) gallop behind in hot pursuit.
WARWORLD CHASE/FIGHT SCENE
Rider and Horse take out 2 of the pursuers on the run have Rider stay on horseback, dodge and make 1 pursuer shoot/javelin another 1 into a nasty-looking fall, and then Rider nails another 1 right through the helmet visor with an arrow. Have Rider throw a smoke bomb or something at the 2 remaining ones trying to catch up.
2 Enemies left but Horse is forced to skid to a stop as the suspension bridge approaches, then a tense moment forced to walk in order to escape safely across the suspension bridge which Rider cuts once they’re across. Maybe have 1 of the minotaur pursuers having been on the bridge somewhat behind them before Rider had to cut the line, sending the enemy hurtling down below. The remaining minotaur scout stares at them ominously from the other side before leaving.
Have Rider breath a sigh of relief
Smash cut to Horse and Rider traveling across a wartorn landscape, start Horse’s internal monologue narrative until they finally get to the hill and see the ruins of their village
Everything from this point to Horse getting transported to Centaurworld is the same as canon
Not Actually a DREAMVISION SEQUENCE:
Shot/Animated from Horse’s 1st Person POV: Darkness, the sound of whooshing Horse falls, shimmering flash colors [if this were an actual show pls put a Epilepsy warning at the beginning of the ep], then a loud Splash as Horse falls into Dark Water. POV looks down and we see Horse’s front legs and a bottomless abyss below and a then flash of green and off-white from deep below, then look up to see blue light, see the swimming motions of Horse’s front legs and getting closer to the Blue Light
Horse wakes up, blinking, alone (no Durpleton)
Horse gets up looks around, doesn’t see Rider anywhere and starts makes Whinnying sounds (specifically, Whinnying is a social horse call, like specifically going, “Rider where are you!?” in IRL horse)
“And what are you supposed to be?” the “camera” wheels around to see Ched who has landed on Horse just within reach of her tail so Horse lets out a startled squeal (the Horse noise, not the human one) and does that thing where horses use their tails to swat away insects which sends Ched FLYING as Horse’s squealing morphs into her Talking/Yelling “what the heck is going on?!”
Horse does what panicked horses do, she runs
Horse stumbles into meeting Durpleton, who freaks her out more
Meeting kinda the same as canon but with less constant emphasis on reminding the audience that the writer’s can’t write comedy
Wammawink and Horse meet, Ched flies in and goes “hey that asshole kicked my a-I mean attacked me, but I totally beat ‘em.”
Horse tries to leave, discovers the Barrier, tries to get through, fails multiple times, but only 3-4 attempts shown with time passage show by the time of day changing, have Horse’ talking to herself a bit about how utterly weird the talking words thing is, that this is a “human” thing why is this HAPPENING she needs to get back
Waste less time on the visual gags of the Barrier repelling Horse, also get rid of the Tree Catapult scene because it doesn’t jive with Horse being a horse, why do they know how to make a catapult? Also because I hate how it basically shows us that Horse has no physical danger or chance of injury from being FLUNG around like Pokemon’s Team Rocket.
Have the rest of the centaur Herd come up to and talk to Horse while Horse is trying to get through the Barrier, and Horse talks about the outside and her world and doing things, squeeze in some convo about how there’s no (current) war in Centaurworld and how Horse thinks that that “freedom must be nice.” Anyways these conversations are what has Glendale, Zulius and Durpleton at least considering the ups of leaving.
Durpleton: Durpleton approaches Horse alone and asks about where she’s from, what’s home like, expositiony bits for Warworld and how much Horse needs to get herself and the Artifact back to Rider; Horse should say something offhand, like how she dreamed about exploring the world with Rider after the War seeing new things together, to which we’d cut to a shot of Durpleton looking thoughtful, before asking a completely unrelated question before Horse asks to be left alone. He doesn’t go originally, but gets distracted by something (butterfly?) and trots off.
Wammawink, Ched & Glendale: Atop a hill, Wammawink looks up to see stormclouds gathering off in the distance and comments that they’re going to be in for some rough weather, then goes over to offer Horse food, but gets distracted by some other Valley Denizens who are mad suspicious that Glendale is responsible for something of theirs that’s missing. Leaving Wammawink to go off and have to run interference leaving Glendale to approach Horse alone. Horse will learn that there’s no (current) war in Centaurworld but there was one historically, and Glendale will offhandedly mention that they’ve stolen everything from everyone in the Valley at least 4 times and with the unspoken implication of boredom. Ched will butt in and heckle Horse like, “could you leave any quieter?” and Horse sniping back, ears pinned back and animated horse stress behaviors. And Horse’s last failed attempt at passing the Barrier has them drop the Artifact, and we get a shot of Glendale spotting and eyes widening at seeing the Artifact unattended on the ground, then we get a smash cut of Glendale getting herded away by Ched.
Zulius: Goes over to ask about Horse’s avante garde accessories (her bridle, saddle & armor[barding]), makes comments on her style/aesthetic and asks where he could find some. Horse loses her patience, and says that she Needs to concentrate on getting back to someone they care a lot about and could you please just go away?
Horse: (voiced as a rhetorical question) “Haven’t you ever wanted to go back to someone you loved before?”
Zulius gets a Look on his face, then he’d puff up, cover up the Armor Piercing Question’s effect on him with more bluster and then turn away as it gets later
Around sunset, Horse finally gives in to go ask Wammawink what’s up, and how can they leave.
Wammawink tries to feed them and convince them to stay, but Horse waves her off and moves away while muttering something about coming up with a plan
Speaking of plans, the Herd excluding Wammawink (& Ched) start talking about being bored, and mention Horse saying stuff about exploring the world (taken out of context, deliberately)
Wammawink, smelling the ugly head of discontent, sighs in defeat at not being able to recruit this new outcast in the Herd and approaches a grazing Horse and says she’ll help her through it with her magic(not admitting that the Barrier is her magic working in the first place because it’s not relevant right now okay) but then we get the “What’s magic?” bit from Horse and the rest of the Herd butts in with the Song. They wander off to go to bed afterwards, and Horse wants to go Now but Wammawink says that she’ll help Horse leave the Barrier but only in the morning because “you look tired”
Horse: “That doesn’t matter.” *awkward silence*
Wammawink, sadly: “Of course it does.” *Horse has already walked away*
The sun finishes setting as the wind blows the plants and through Wammawink’s fur (ominously) and she shivers, going back to the campfire
DREAM SEQUENCE: It’s dark, then we get a flashback dream of a younger Rider and Horse, idk a memory of something to showcase them either while in training or really show their Bond okay? End with them sitting around a campfire with other young soldiers and horses, someone is humming something (the first few bars of the Nowhere King’s Lullaby, no actual words yet). Then Dream!Rider turns to face Horse and asks, “how could you?”
Horse: “How could I what?”
Dream!Rider: “How could you leave me behind?” (The humming grows louder, there’s a lute being played, growing discordant)
Then Horse starts calling into the darkness/void, “I’m coming back for you, Rider! Just hang on, alright?!”
Rider: “Oh Horse, it’s already too late for me.”
“Rider!” Horse yells as they jolt awake, standing, because horses typically sleep standing up.
It’s dawn but the wind and stormy weather signs are picking up but not here yet, Wammawink walks Horse to the edge of the Valley barrier and tries to convince Horse to stay here where it’s safe, but Horse refuses to be deterred
Brief shot of Glendale hiding a bunch of things from her Tummy Hammerspace in order to simulate the feeling of stealing things again later, including the Artifact which falls on the ground
A shot of Durpleton seeing and picking up the Artifact and spotting Wammawink and Horse some distance away going toward the barrier’s edge
Wammawink hangs back on a hill, glowy hands and the magic wall flickers and disappears, and Horse immediately breaks into a gallop and disappears into the forest, Wammawink sighs and turns away
Indeterminate amount of time later, Wammawink recasts the Barrier, and Durpleton misses breakfast so Wammawink enlists Ched to help her look for him because Ched can fly
Cut to a shot of Horse dropping from a canter to a trot on the Rainbow Road, it’s grown darker and the stormclouds are in the sky. Distant thunder booms overhead, and a few scattered raindrops start to fall
“Heyyyy! You forgot your necklaceeee!” a shout from behind
Horse looks back and sees a running Durpleton holding the Artifact, and stops, he catches up to Horse and is gasping, “Wow, you run fast, hoooo, *deep breaths* you’re really *another gasp* athletic! Anyways you forgot your Necklace.”
Durpleton ties the broken string into a necklace around Horse’s neck and Horse thanks them and wishes them a safe journey back to the Valley, but as this happens the rain gradually falls harder. Then the sounds of the Rest of the Herd finally catching up happen, and Wammawink mother hens Durpleton and wants take everyone back home but then a loud BOOM of thunder and lightning overhead, and then it starts to Pour down rain, forcing Horse and co to find shelter until it lets up. Maybe have someone mention something about landslides being a possibility? Durpleton asks how they found them so fast, dim remember, then brief flashback.
FLASHBACK: Wammawink and co searching and calling out for Durpleton everywhere in the Valley, and realize that he must’ve followed Horse for some reason when Zulius FINALLY shows up and mentions that he remembers Durpleton saying he was gonna give Horse back her necklace. The recast Barrier is brought down and they leave the Valley to bring back their friend.
Back to the present where the group has taken shelter as the storm picks up more, and thunder booms overhead, Horse has some nervous horse body language going on, then we get to hear her mutter-singing or humming the “I never fear the drums of war” to calm herself down, but with more stanzas please, when asked she says it’s a battle hymn that Rider sang.
If Horse was humming, Wammawink could ask why she doesn’t sing, she’s sure that Horse has a lovely voice
Horse goes “I’m a horse, I don’t sing.”
Wammawink tries to be encouraging, Horse is resistant
Wammawink invites her to eat (AGAIN) but Horse still turns her (love and affection) down (AGAIN!) and says she’s fine with grazing and Glendale pipes in excitedly that they have decided that they want to travel with Horse (Ched pipes up that he didn’t agree to this) but pls help us convince Wammawink and Horse protests but someone points out to ask “do you even know where you’re going” and they have a point
Horse acknowledges this and relents, states some stuff about how she’s not going to slow down much however. Then Glendale, Zulius and Durpleton rejoice, Ched acts tsundere, but Wammawink looks nervous and wrings her hands together and relents that “they’ll go with Horse as far as the nearest Shaman” and Ched will go, “hey don’t you know he-” and Wammawink shushes him quickly with a gigglecake
Wammawink doubles down on the mother henning behavior
Horse doesn’t eat Wammawink’s gigglecakes but grazes by herself nearby, occasionally answering a question or two when engaged by the others (not Wammawink) and Wammawink mentions how the weather probably won’t let up for very long and they should take it slow and that Horse should bundle up
Horse disagrees but its bedtime and a bedtime song occurs in the backdrop as a restless Horse struggles to stay alert and awake but eventually falls asleep
VISION SEQUENCE: A shimmer of soft blue light, then shots of Rider ducking and weaving, her sword flashing as she tries to weave her way through a horde of enemy soldiers, blood spatters, then an enemy archer takes aim at a fleeing Rider, and Horse calls out a warning.
Rider turns her head with a surprised look on her face suddenly just enough that the arrow buries itself into her shoulder instead the middle of her back and then she stumbles, one of her arms going limp, but everything goes dark before we can see if she fell
Everything goes dark and the din of war fades away, we get a shot of Horse’s hooves splashing and making ripples into dark water but the camera doesn’t follow her, we hear Horse’s cries for Rider fade, growing further and further away
Still dark, but in the silence we hear distant sound, drip, drip, drip, drip.
Then the episode ends and the credits roll.
#centaurworld#centaurworld spoilers#centaurworld wammawink#centaurworld rider#centaurworld horse#centaurworld headcanons#centaurworld au#centaurworld rewrite#centaurworld a serious adventure au#wow I suck at naming things#centaurworld season 1#fixed the ending scene order#your welcome
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feeling quite self-indulgent today, so am sniffing around to ask if you've had any further edward thoughts? now that you've had a whole extra month down the ttte rabbithole y'know ;)
The lovely lad himself! 💙🚂✨
Always gonna take the chance to Admire this Hodges pic of him <3
As for my thoughts...
...my thoughts haven't really deviated from last month! He's just such a swell, lovable guy!! Though I will say some'a my Takes have actually Intensified since last time so I'll jump in the deep end here and talk about what is probably the hottest and most controversial.
I don't see Edward as an Old Dude!
If anything, I do, in fact, see him as one of the Younger (adult) ones!
i.e. my gijinka of Thomas is hard to definitively age, but I was aiming for early 20's. Like, young enough that I still would look at him irl and be all "Son Boy" but old enough to plausibly have the jobs he would have as a human railway worker type of guy.
I still wanna draw how I'd see Edward ^^; but the notion of him being like, 16 years or so older than Thomas feels perfect somehow. So his design would reflect that assuming I could translate the ideas to lines well enough psshshh
I know Edward is based on an old 19th Century Design. But I'm sitting here in 2021 and if Thomas is an E2 then he's 106. Literal ages aren't a factor in this! Steam Engines are sadly a relic of the past, every single character is old and out of date irl.
"But CatCat," says someone who isn't you, Jobey, "The Railway series was first written in like the 40's and the relative ages made more sense back then, also the earliest stories were Set before they were written!"
Still not really holding water! The ages have consistently been tied to how they behave, how they feel. Sometimes they age across many books but for the most part they seem to be in a temporal stasis when Gordon will always Act older than Thomas in spite of being younger as the Proto-A1 compared to that mini E2. Percy is diagnosed with Baby but is older than all the main cast sans Edward himself! Age Shmage, the numbers these Locomotives care about are what's painted on their sides!
I can understand why some people want to lean into him as being the older, wiser, "ahh I've had a good time of it overall" mentor dude with silver hair and a big comfy armchair by the fireplace, from which he reads thick tomes and drinks tea with a saucer held beneath. And that's great! Everyone is free to have their own take and this is a good archetype that deserves some Love~ 💖
Contrarywise, I see certain people get ridiculously precious about it. "urgh whenever I see Edward looking in his 20's I die inside" type of comments only fill my emergency Spite Gauge, which can give me quite the burst of energy when my preferred interest fuel runs out!
But anyway, I've made up my mind on how I see Edward, and a lot of that is thanks to based Season 1 and how very Boyish he is in the early character building eps.
This is the face of a young man with a quiet impish steak!!
But also, crucially, Edward can still be that mentor figure while not being a wizened Gandalf looking pocket watch in waistcoat wearing old geezer! He can still have several Sons when he's not even 20 years older than any of them!
He has both a Dad and Mentor's Energy, but not an Old Man's. The latter goes to, again Gordon and also Toby (when he's not actively stirring shit at Ffarquhar anyway lol).
What Edward says in canon, one single time, is that he's "Too old to pull a Royal Train". This isn't an indication that he's literally old, but that his make isn't sufficiently flashy and powerful for a visit that's given so much importance.
The other thing that comes up is like "People tell me I'm old fashioned, but I don't care!" ...which is self explanatory! He's told he's old fashioned, not old old! That he's told such because it's not something he himself really thinks about. And that he doesn't put any of his worth to this!
Finally, I guess I gotta debunk things like his creaking in stories like Cows and Old Iron, and Exploit. His basis is what's old about him, not his self. He's also a tremendously hard worker, but humans and engines alike do get worn out through a lot of exertion. He's lucky that whole body parts could be switched out as soon as funds and time are cleared! Ain't these stories set after WW2? So he'd have been On the entire time! Even the hottest new thing woulda been worn out halfway into All That! Exploit had him pull a train that was jam packed when he was originally built for speed over power, and the return journey stacks every element against him short of dropping a tornado on top, any of the engines woulda broke something in those conditions. The point of Exploit isn't that he was weak enough to break, but that he's strong enough to push through it.
...I think that's all the points I wanted to make...
THE TL;DR IS: He can still do the old person-y stuff! Still using a physical diary and reading yellow paged books and tinkering with old watches, listening to Bach and Mozart. He is old fashioned, he just don't let it stop him, baybee! He's a Dad and a wise, trusted, expericened mentor. And also a kindred spirit with Thomas who absolutely feels like a youthful cheeky lad.
And here, after I wrote all that out I tried to draw him again, and I finally got it close to my intentions! 😼✨
#This is TTTE#TTTE Edward#TTTE Talk#TTTE#oh god how many tags do I wanna put here#I was gonna talk about other things here today but this got a bit away from me! but it's all stuff that's been in my head a while#I mentioned Thomas and Gordon a bit buh ehhh not sure enough to tag them as characters lol#Thomas the Tank Engine#Edward the Blue Engine
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This is just uh. A thing. A long thing. I actually drafted it back in July during Pride Month but chickened out before I could post it. But then I discovered that Ace Week exists and what better time to rant about the quintessential Ace Experience(TM) amiright?
.
I’ve struggled to define my sexuality since I was like 17. I can remember me and some of my girl friends going to the mall and talking about boys. I was currently teetering around a relationship with one of our male friends and they asked me to define why I was attracted to him and I couldn’t. They didn’t really think anything of it, moved along in the conversation and said “well X isn’t my type, so I guess I wouldn’t get it.” But the conversation stuck with me.
1. Because I never really thought the idea of a “type” was real. I didn’t think people ACTUALLY arbitrarily decided who wasn’t worthy of their affection based on a random set of archetypes. I thought they were shallow for saying that about him. I thought it was a mean concept to not let someone be “your type.”
2. Not being able to identify what I DID find attractive about him was....off. Like sure, he looked fine, but tbh he looked like an average teenage white boy and I couldn’t really pick out a physical identifier that made me want him. That seemed like a bad thought to have about one’s significant other.
Needless to say, that non-relationship went nowhere and I eventually told him I wasn’t feeling it. I thought I just wasn’t mature enough for relationships yet.
At age 18 I had my first kiss. Another male friend of ours. Another relationship I’d been teetering around. I had told him multiple times that I didn’t like the idea of dating him so soon after I had broken things off with X. It felt weird, too soon, let’s hold off. But part of me also didn’t like the fact that I was 18 and had never been kissed. It wasn’t at the forethought of my mind all the time, but it lingered back there. Maybe it was because, puberty-wise, I was a late bloomer. Maybe it was because, in my friend group, I was always somehow dubbed “the innocent one.” I didn’t want to continue being late for every major marker in life, so when Y took me up on a hill at sunset and said “I’m going to kiss you now” I let him.
It was not what I thought it would be. All the magical descriptions of kisses in YA books were drastically over-selling the experience. The first one was nice enough, but I couldn’t help but thinking “this feels exactly like kissing a relative” and being a little relieved and little disappointment that the sensation was exactly the same. The second kiss was much worse because he put his tongue in my mouth and I quickly discovered I hateddd that.
I thought that maybe it was Y’s fault. I didn’t like him the way he liked me, so there was no magic. No spark. But also maybe I was just doing it wrong? He did kind of imply that I wasn’t the best kisser (god, how romantic) and so maybe the more we did it the more I would like it?
We went on one more date after that, and almost every time we made eye contact he tried to kiss me. It was horrible. I spent the better part of the day actively trying to not look at him because I didn’t know how to tell him I didn’t want to do it anymore. That seemed like a bad thought to have about one’s significant other.
Needless to say, it didn’t work out. I’d like to say I handled the situation as maturely as with X, but in reality I ghosted this kid for like 2.5 months and eventually sent him a facebook message saying I wasn’t feeling it. I figured I wasn’t mature enough for relationships yet.
College I had no time for relationships, or so I told myself. Maybe I didn’t have the mental capacity for them because I was too busy wishing I would get hit by a bus (higher education did not go great for someone with undiagnosed ADHD). I kind of assumed everyone also felt the same way, but people were coupling up around me left and right. Everyone had the same stressors I had, maybe even more so, and yet they had time to form new relationships and have noisy sex in the dorm room next to mine. I didn’t have time, though.
My roommate asked me in those first few years if maybe I was asexual. I actually got mad at her for even implying it. Asexuals were emotionless robots who were so repulsed by sex they didn’t even want to THINK about it. I talked about sex with my friends all the time! I masturbated when she wasn’t around like every other day! How dare she even insinuate that I might be one of those people. I just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship yet.
And sure, I’d been on tumblr for years at that point. I’d been relatively educated about the LGBT community and its various factions. But nothing about it screamed ME. All those people seemed to have the same shared experience of knowing who they were since forever, of experiencing some form of discrimination based on who they were. I had always been straight, right? And no one’s ever discriminated me for who I liked.
It was weird, though. Getting older and hearing more and more people talking about sex and just like, NOT feeling the same way. Was talking to my friends in a group chat one day, and one of them was head over heels for one of her coworkers. Not in love, but I-wanna-rip-off-your-McDonald’s-uniform-and-fuck-you-right-here-in-the-break-room (do McD’s even have break rooms? whatever) lust. She’s like, “you know that electricity you feel when you’re next to someone you really, really like. where every time you get close to them you feel this MAGNETISM and your entire body feels hot--”
--and all I could think of was how that sounded EXACTLY how Bella described her feeling towards Edward in Twilight, and just how ridiculous it sounded. That’s some YA bullshit, that’s not real.
And then our other friend in the chat was like “yeah.”
Oh. Well I guess I just have a lower sex-drive than you guys. That’s whatever.
I didn’t really identify as asexual until I saw a post about an aspec identity called autochorissexuality.
The term autochorissexual describes a subset of asexuality which is defined as: a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein.
That...kinda sounded like me....
Like I said, I masturbated and all that jazz so I assumed I couldn’t be asexual. I literally loved orgasms. I read smut and watched porn to get off like I assumed the rest of the world did, not even really realizing that a lot of people...get off...thinking about people doing stuff....to THEM.
I do not think about people I know when I masturbate. It feels incredibly weird for them to pop up in any of my fantasies, and I kinda just assumed that meant I wasn’t attracted to any of them (which I’m not), so it was fine. It didn’t really occur to me that I literally NEVER fantasize about myself when I get off. If I read smut I’m thinking of the characters. If I watch porn I’m thinking of the actors. Never am I imagining someone hot and sexy doing hot and sexy things to me. I’m not even very good at getting off based on my imagination alone, unless I’m basically writing my own smut in my head and imagining what THEY enjoy. The thought of imagining things being done to ME feels weirdly...embarrassing? I don’t know. I don’t dig it, so I don’t think it.
Again, it did NOT even occur to me that that might not be how other people operated.
I also didn’t know that asexuality COULD have subcategories like that, other than aromanticism, which was an identity I toyed with for a while and ultimately am still unsure about.
But learning that liking orgasms =/= allosexual was kind of a wake-up for me.
After learning about autochorissexuality (which, while I am incredibly, infinitely grateful that someone coined that term so I could learn more about myself, I will never identify as because it is a mouthful and I honestly don’t know how to pronounce it), I began identifying as asexual. I was 21 at the time. I’m almost 26 now.
A couple people know. Mostly people who follow me on tumblr that I also know in real life. I never really had to “come out” to them per se because they saw my posts and rolled with it. Wasn’t a big deal. I think that I actually had a conversation and TOLD those friends in that group chat, but that didn’t feel like coming out, more like all of us finally coming to a realization about me we should have figured out a lot earlier. Also, they’re friends from tumblr, so they’re not the types to make a big deal out of that stuff either.
Even though I have a couple of tumblr friends that I skype with regularly, I don’t really bring it up in conversation that much. Like two of my irl friends (who, again, follow me on tumblr) know, and we don’t really talk about it much either. It’s there, we all know, but if I don’t bring it up, they don’t either.
I’ve never really “come out” before. Had to sit someone down and have the conversation. Part of me thinks it’s kind of pointless, because whether or not I’m sexually attracted to others isn’t any anyone else’s business, really. It doesn’t super impact my work life or my life with my friends or family, so why does it need to be said? If I decided I liked women and wanted to date one, that would be a big change that I’d have to address to someone. But me being asexual is just me continuing to not have sex with anyone, the way I always have. Seems like a weird thing to cause a fuss about.
But it’s part of me. And I want to talk about it sometimes.
But I don’t even know how that conversation would go. Asexuality is a relatively invisible subset of the LGBTQIA+ community. Like, it’s the last letter, the one that often gets cut off. And when people do bring up the A, it’s for Ally. I’m not gonna get into the discussion about that, I don’t know enough queer history to form a hot take, but the point still stands that many people don’t know about asexuality. And while it seems relatively easy to explain, I guess--
”I don’t experience sexual attraction”
--it also feels way more complex than that. And I’m not very good at articulating why I’m NOT something else when I have a hard time identifying what that something even IS. I was the kid who thought having a “type” was shallow and mean! It didn’t occur to me that people’s sexual fantasies INCLUDE THEMSELVES AS PARTICIPANTS. So how do I explain my lack of attraction to people?
But maybe I’m being too reductive of the masses. Like, I’m not the brightest bulb in the bunch but *I* was able to learn what was asexuality was on my own. Who’s to say others haven’t? Maybe I won’t need to give an informative slideshow every time I come out to someone.
...But what if I’m wrong? What if I get into a relationship one day and I find myself INCREDIBLY attracted to my partner? What if I get into a relationship with a WOMAN one day and realize that I was les/bi/pan this whole time? I know that demisexuality exists, I know that sexuality is a spectrum and people are constantly learning about themselves and evolving. I don’t want to downplay that or..or...invalidate that. I know. But I’m an idiot. And I can’t help feeling that if I come out and commit to fun new adjective about myself and then all of a sudden that adjective doesn’t fit me anymore I’ll be labelled as fraud for forever and ever.
I know that’s probably unlikely for the most part. But it’s still something that’s there in my mind that I feel every time I think about talking about it.
I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t know why I’m writing this post because there isn’t some grand conclusion to my narrative or sweeping answer to my problems. My story continues for as long as I live and maybe things will change and maybe they won’t. I’d like to be able to come out one day and say it. To my sisters. To my coworkers. To some random dude hitting on me who seems kind enough to understand there’s a reason I’m reluctant to flirt back. Probably not to my parents. I don’t know if I want to present the slideshow to them about my lack of sex life, nor do I think they would handle my act of vulnerability with grace or tact (boomers, y’know).
I guess I can end this post by saying that it’s not all bad. Not being “out” kinda sucks, but right now, knowing is enough. There are a hundred other micro situations from my past similar to the ones I spelled out above that made me wonder what was wrong with me. I wanted to be able to like someone the way other people did, to have a normal relationship, but I couldn’t force myself to do it and I didn’t know what was stopping me. The whole am I just broken conversation whirled through my head many a night in college when insomnia prevented me from sleeping and depression stopped me from giving myself a fucking break. It sucked, and maybe it’s a little grim to think of asexuality as a diagnosis to a lifetime of symptoms, but that’s kind of what it felt like.
And that’s not bad! Why? Because i know that I’m not alone and that this is NORMAL . Being asexual is not being broken! It’s something that many people identify with! And honestly that thought alone thrills me enough to make this whole ridiculous narrative worth it. There’s a whole world of people out there feeling the exact same way as me, and none of us are wrong for feeling that way. It is unreal the kind of confidence that gives you.
My friend from earlier, the one who desperately wanted to bang her co-worker, she said something to me the other day that struck me with how far I’ve come in terms of my identity. I was sobbing to her on the phone about a shitty thing in my life, as one does, and she pointed out how the strangest things will get to you while others don’t even have an effect. If someone mentions how I don’t have my drivers license at the ripe old age of 25 I legitimately have a breakdown on the phone with her about it, but if people make jokes about me being a virgin I don’t even bat an eye.
And it IS weird. If someone would have made a virgin joke at me at age 20 I probably would have spiralled into one of my late-night, crying-into-my-pillow sessions about how much I fucking SUCK at being a human, but at age 25 it’s just...whatever. As someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction, why WOULD I have had sex already? If I don’t seek it out, don’t want it, it’s not gonna be a part of my life, you know? And I don’t care. Past me, without this identifier, would have cared deeply. Current me could go her entire life without having sex and I don’t think it would drastically effect her mood.
It’s weird how one little word can turn things around for you like that.
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Intertwined Roots | ch. 7 - “hide and seek” | A3! AU
Ahhh, I was completely swamped with work and IRL matters these past two weeks, so I’m just managing to get this chapter out now!! Though, I think I’ve now settled on the best schedule for myself with this series – I’ll likely update it every two weeks moving forward! This gives me some time to work on other stories generally as well and I won’t feel as rushed!
Anyway, this chapter is a direct continuation of the last chapter and is the second meeting between Itaru and Izumi! Also, quick reminder: Akari is the name I gave to Itaru’s sister, since I don’t believe she has a canon name.
Please enjoy!
“Intertwined Roots” is an A3! alternate universe series where Izumi, Itaru, Tsumugi and Tasuku grow up as childhood friends.
For the summary, background and notes about the “Intertwined Roots” universe, along with more chapters, please refer to the “Intertwined Roots” Masterpost.
Masterpost for my other fanfiction: here
AO3: Link in my Blog Menu!
INTERTWINED ROOTS – ch. 7
“hide and seek” | spring | Itaru (age 5) & Izumi (age 4)
“Ugh, Itaru, stop dragging your feet already,” Akari growled as she continued to haul her little brother by his arm down the sidewalk.
“B-But, I don’t wanna go, Sis,” Itaru protested weakly.
“Well, too bad! You promised to go, so you have to go,” she snapped back. “You can’t just leave that girl waiting for you just ‘cause you were too slow to tell her you didn’t wanna come back!”
Itaru closed his mouth, unable to protest. He had honestly been too shocked yesterday to turn Izumi down. He’d only ever played – if you could call being bossed around playing, anyway – with his sister at home, and he’d never gotten along easily with other children. Whenever they had tried to approach him, he’d usually be too shy to respond to them, and they’d eventually walk away, bored with his lack of reaction.
His encounter with Izumi had been the first time where someone had bothered to stick around. And, though one part of him somewhat anticipated meeting her again, the other part was mostly scared to face such an unfamiliar and unpredictable force again.
Lost in his thoughts, Itaru stumbled as his sister came to a sudden halt. In contrast to yesterday, the park was relatively empty, with only a handful of children kicking a ball around on the field and another small group playing on the swing set.
As Akari had predicted, Izumi was waiting for him, rocking by herself on one of the spring toys. Catching sight of the siblings, the young girl immediately jumped off the well-worn, horse-shaped contraption and ran over to them with a big smile on her face.
Panicking, Itaru ducked behind his sister and hid his face, unconsciously clutching at the back of her shirt.
“Um, hello,” Izumi greeted Akari bashfully. “I’m Izumi.”
“Hi, I’m Akari – this guy’s big sister,” Akari responded, reaching behind her to pull at Itaru. With strength belying her slender arms, she wrenched the young boy off her back and shoved him in front of her. “I’m gonna go meet my friends, so I’ll come back later to get him, okay? See ya!”
To Itaru’s alarm, his sister then walked away with a wave of her hand. He wanted to follow her, but he knew she would only get mad at him and that thought was enough for him to, instead, turn his gaze towards the bright-eyed girl in front of him.
“Hi Itaru!” Izumi chirped excitedly. “What do you want to play? Tic-tac-toe, again?”
Itaru knew that he should just greet her back and answer the question, but found himself floundering as he continued to stare at her expectant face. It wasn’t often that he was put on the spot, and, with his mind racing a mile a minute, his fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. And, so, he ran.
Without really understanding what he was doing, he dashed towards the giant elephant slide and hid himself beneath it. If he couldn’t see her, he could think better.
“Wait, are we playing hide and seek?!” Izumi exclaimed as she ran after Itaru and stopped at the other side of the elephant slide. “I’m super duper good at it! I’ll be ‘it’ first! I’m gonna count to one hundred!”
Izumi clapped her hands over her eyes and started counting loudly.
“One… two… three…”
Itaru wasn’t quite sure how she had come to this conclusion, but he wasn’t going to say ‘no’ to hiding. It sounded like a much better option than figuring out how to talk with the girl. Figuring that Izumi would assume that he would run away from her, he quickly stepped out of his hiding spot and purposely stomped his feet as he ran past her in the direction of the field. However, he quickly u-turned and quietly snuck back under the elephant slide again, making sure he was completely hidden in the shadows, before waiting for her to finish counting.
“… Ummm, nineteen… tw-twenty… tw-twenty-one… Tw… Tw… Ummmmm… ONE HUNDRED!” Izumi yelled. “Ready or not, here I come!!”
Though Itaru was alarmed that she had suddenly skipped almost eighty numbers, he kept still as he heard Izumi rush past the elephant slide, as he had predicted.
He carefully peeked out around the slide opening and saw Izumi running around the trees near the field, poking into the bushes every so often. After watching her for several minutes, he could see that the girl was becoming increasingly frustrated as her efforts continued to turn up empty-handed. Then, she began wandering back towards the slide.
Taking care to creep back into the shadows as she approached, he heard her call out his name.
“Itaaarruuuuu, where are you?!” she cried out.
Thinking that she was trying to trick him, he kept quiet. A minute passed in near silence. And then another. Then, he heard a sniffle.
“Itaruuuu, where did you gooooo?!” Izumi yelled again, a wobble in her voice. “Wh-What if I never find him?! He’ll be st-stuck waiting for-forever…”
Feeling an unfamiliar twinge in his chest as he heard another sniffle, Itaru crouched down and stared at the ground. Seeing a small stone near his foot, he stared at it for a moment before grabbing it with his left hand. He then threw it at the back of the slide, and it clanged against the metal noisily before dropping to the ground.
The sound of Izumi’s sniffles suddenly stopped. Then, he heard her footsteps crunch against the gravel and, a moment later, a set of big brown eyes peeked at him from the opening of the slide.
“Itaru!! I found you!” she exclaimed gleefully, though her eyes were red. “Told ya I was good! It’s my turn to hide, now! Count to a hundred, okay?!”
The brown-haired girl then whirled around and ran off, leaving the young boy with only one option – closing his eyes. Itaru quietly counted to twenty-two – his soft voice slightly echoing off the inside of the metal slide – before poking his head out from under the slide.
It took approximately ten seconds for him to find Izumi hiding in a nearby bush with one of her feet sticking out.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Knowing Itaru’s personality, I knew that getting him to hang out with Izumi again would take some external forces, haha (i.e. his sister physically dragging him there). Next chapter, I’m excited to announce that we’ll finally have the entire crew together for the first time~
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to get the next chapter up until at least the end of the month. However, this is only because I plan to be writing like a madwoman for the upcoming “A3! Rare Pairs Week”, which is running here on AO3 (and on Twitter) from July 13 to 19! I won’t be able to write each of the seven prompts on time, so I anticipate that I’ll take the entire month to finish them all up! In the meantime, I will be, sadly, putting “Intertwined Roots” on the backburner! But, please do stay tuned for my other works, instead!
Thank you for reading and please do leave a comment if you enjoyed! Any reblogs are always appreciated! I hope to see you all again soon!
-Anmitsu
#a3!#itaru chigasaki#izumi tachibana#a3! act! addict! actors!#act! addict! actors!#a3! game#act addict actors#chigasaki itaru#tachibana izumi#a3! game!#a3! intertwined roots#anmitsu writes
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10 Questions Tag
Thank you so much for tagging me, @songsofaleria! You had such interesting answers, and I wanted to ensure that I could give the same enthusiasm with my responses. Buckle up, y’all! You might learn a thing or two about moi.
1. What are you characters favorite foods/snacks?
What’s sad is that I have a hard time answering this solely because I am not a snack person. Blasphemy, I know - I just prefer whole meals! If we’re talking modern-day snacks? Oeden’s chowing down on salt and vinegar chips, Royan would be a Twinkies guy (no jokes, please, spare my boy), Medea’s a cinnamon girl - the kind that scarfs down Hot Tamales like they’re nothing, Carmila would snack on individual pretzel sticks while she works (and is the kind to suck the salt clean off of them because she keeps getting lost in thought while they’re in her mouth), Farukh would be a jerky guy, and Kasumi’s the kind to carry around little veggie packets and dip.
If we’re talking in-universe snacks? Come on. Fantasy worlds don’t have fun snacks! Although I did write one excerpt with Oeden and his mom, Nadielle, chowing down on spiced pufferfish spines which I’m relatively sure are not a real thing...and likely should not be.
2. What playlists do you listen to when writing?
I made a playlist of worship songs for my friends who are newer to my church and I’ve been jamming to that while I write because it’s the only lyric-inclusive music I can listen to that won’t interfere with my writing. Plus, because writing can drain my body and darken my thoughts, I need something positive and godly to revitalize me and keep me centered.
3. Which OC is/was your favorite to create?
There’s one character I’ve talked about in passing, but I haven’t dedicated an entire section to him yet. I don’t know if he’s my favorite, but he has a special place in my heart: Algon. He pays homage to one of my personal heroes and mentors, so there’s always a giddy little part of my heart when I get to write him. Plus, the development he goes through is...well, heartbreaking, but also beautiful over time.
4. What is the first book you read that made you cry?
Oh gosh, I can’t remember! I was a big crybaby when I was little, so I probably wept at the slightest thing gone wrong. Aslan dying in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe always got me.
5. Do you hide any secrets in your books as a way of foreshadowing?
If you read something in my stories, assume it will eventually foreshadow something. I treat my books as a game of I-Spy, wondering when readers will find the most hidden clues I snuck in there.
6. What is the most difficult part of your writing process?
This might sound strange, but knowing when it’s “right”. I’m a perfectionist, an INFJ, and a Type One Enneagram - otherwise known as someone who is paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong. I don’t just write for fun, I write to do what I believe I’m meant to do in my life. And if something I produced was lesser than what was meant? If I wasted my time or led someone down the wrong path because I did it wrong? Game over for me. I spend SO much time deciding whether I’ve had this character do the right thing, built the world correctly, etc. that it’s...crippling, to be honest.
7. Which of your characters would you liked like to meet/get to know irl?
You know, I had a lot of different answers to this...but I’m gonna go with Kasumi. I have a habit of befriending people who need my guidance or leadership and/or people who make me laugh and are fun but aren’t deep enough to hang with me intimately. Kasumi, while deeply flawed, is someone who would want to help me as much as I help her. She’d listen, she’d advise, she’d protect, she’d spend time making art with me, we could go adventuring when necessary and stay inside when we’re down. I feel like we could be besties in a heartbeat!
8. Was there a situation in your writing that you took from your own life?
There are snippets and themes that I use, as everyone does, as inspiration. But generally, I try to limit that because I don’t want it seeming self-insert-y. However, there are a few specific instances and issues I feel personally convicted to write upon based on my experiences with and overcoming of them. But none of the situations in my stories are one-on-one parallels.
9. Do your characters have reoccurring symbolism in their dreams?
HOO BOY! You opened a whole can of worms for one character in particular: Oeden. I’ve changed what his dreams entail eighteen thousand times, but he always envisions a vault (which is a main theme in my story, and certainly no secret) long before he ever finds it. Lots of other things, too: torn wedding veils, man made into gods, blood poured on white moons, angels in plain sight, and an unknown voice calling out to him. You know, totally normal dream stuff!
10. Which Hogwarts houses would you sort your characters into?
I’ve def done this before, but I don’t remember everyone’s. I think it was: Royan is Gryffinpuff, Oeden is Slytherclaw, Medea is Slytherin, Farukh is Slytherdor, Briggid is Ravenclaw, Kasumi is Hufflepuff, Carmila is...crap, I can’t remember!
Questions for Those Tagged to Answer: 1. When you find a book at the store, what about it makes you decide to buy it or put it back on the shelf? 2. What would your book’s ideal cover look like, should you have access to any artist you’d want and any resources you would need to make it a reality? 3. If you could rewrite one story - be it a book, game, movie, show, etc. - which would it be and why? 4. Have you ever given a story a second chance and liked it better the next time through? What caused your opinion to change? 5. What do you believe endears an audience to a character? 6. What kind of romances do you prefer to read about and/or watch unfold? (Soft and shy, hot and sexy, slow burn, enemies to lovers, etc.) 7. What type of AU’s are your guilty pleasures, be they for your stories or for others? (Modern, High School/University, Coffee Shop, Vampires, etc.) 8. If only one age demographic would ever read your books, which would you choose and why? 9. If you could pay homage to one person in your life through your stories and/or characters, who would it be and why? 10. If every reader walked away from your story having been changed in one significant way, what would you want it to be and why?
Tagging: @rhavencroft, @incandescent-creativity, @fair-folk-nonsense, @stardustspiral, @ardawyn, @lady-redshield-writes, @feathered-quill, @hannahs-creations, @cogesque, @merigreenleaf
#tag#tagged#tag game#writeblr#writeblr community#writing community#write#writer#writing#10 questions tag game
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my own hibari headcanons
[reposting because of adult terminology crimes, lol]
been meaning to write down my list of hcs for a while anyway, and now i have the occasion to get to it! among the others im gonna add what i decided to avoid putting under this post and give more details about what i already wrote there
content/trigger warnings: death, assassination, mental illness, eating disorders
the list will be under the cut! it excludes my strictly shippy hcs and i may update it over time
first things first. like my own blog title suggests, i hc hibari as a trans guy. i’m trans myself, so this is arguably the hc of mine im the most attached to for personal comfort reasons LOL. it all started when i read a fic about trans hibari a few years ago and later on i got more and more fond of this transcanon, becoming 100% personal. i also hc that he doesnt feel dysphoric. as for his sexuality i hc him as gay
we know that hibari and fon are relatives. my idea is that they’re step-brothers (different mother), and long lost to that. NOW. i realize that with the assumption of fon’s age, them being siblings is unlikely, but it shouldn’t be impossible. their father could be old enough. he got married to a chinese woman who gave birth to fon, then divorced, then got married again to a japanese woman, kyouya’s mom. (i kinda based this on my irls situation, where because of the parents’ second marriage there is at least a good 20 years of gap between the oldest and youngest sibling)
the hibari family was part of the yakuza. to answer a question that was made to me: i agree that hibari “just liking fighting” isnt funny at all. i heavily believe that there’s a psychological reason to his behavior but im going to talk about this in another point below. i also think that hibari was probably the heir to the clan, but here in my head hibari is still too young for it, like 5-6 years old.
when hibari was a child his parents got killed in the hibari household. how could they get killed in their own house, didn’t they have enough protection? they did. but the guard was low considering who turned out to be their murderers were old, trusted allies. kyouya only survived because he managed to hide properly and long enough. he didnt witness the assassination but he did see his parents in a pool of blood after everything ended. before dying, his mom left a last message to him: be stronger than anyone else. because of the trauma, even in the present hibari avoids going back to that house as much as he can and especially he never reopens the door of the crime scene. hibari also still grows into a delinquent, but he dislikes the mafia world and wishes he didnt have to be involved with it
for a while, hibari is in fon’s mother’s custody. here is when he meets fon for the first time, over time they get very attached to one another, but because of the arcobaleno matters, fon goes disappearing, and hibari ends up assuming fon has died and left him behind just like this parents did. fon reappears and goes to meet hibari in occasion of the arcobaleno representative battles and of course wit trauma resurface and about 10 years of beliefs and assumptions hibari really, really struggles with this reunion, but eventually they bond again. (for this one i dont take into account the events in the anime only arcobaleno trial events, as well as the fact that we see all the arcobalenos revived at the end of the future arc)
hibari has an antisocial personality disorder (which implies he already had conduct disorders before the age of 15). it explains his violent and criminal behavior, as well as the fact that he doesn’t feel guilty for anything he does. he also suffers from ptsd and has eating disorders (i thought about the avoidant food intake, where, among the other symptoms, a person avoids to extreme levels some types of food because of characteristics such as their pattern or their color and generally lacks appetite/interest in food)
(wears my enneagram nerd hat) HIBARI IS A TYPE EIGHT. 8w7 precisely, aka the maverick. all about type eight is basically a call out to hibari lmfao but here’s the most relevant characteristics: eights are the real stand-alones of the enneagram. eights’ basic fear is to be harmed and controlled by others, and they steel up to prevent their basic fear from happening (or happening again). below the tough facade there is a vulnerability that cant be shown to anyone. their virtue is innocence, an innocence that they once and forever lost, and hibari basically lost it when his family was assassinated. eights are also associated to the deadly sin of lu st. for hibari its not necessarily the ns fw kinda lu st, rather bloodlu st. and its one big paradox because eights want to be in control of their surroundings, but being consumed by lu st means being under something/someone else’s control (and so we’re back to the basic fear). unhealthy eights are violent, despotic, reckless. all things we see in hibari. very unhealthy eights are also those who typically may develop the antisocial disorder, reason why i listed it above
since he wants to dominate his environment, hibari controls over the namimori and especially the school to feel “security”. he managed it through illegal means and pretty much lives in the school, namichuu is also one of the few places where usually he can sleep without having nightmares
yes, hibari loves sleeping but also he gets nightmares about his past more often than not
but i also love imagining hibari gradually healing and recovering from his trauma, so i do hc that in adulthood he’s mentally doing better. he can be a leader without being tyrannical. he can be strong while also acknowledging his own vulnerability. he is able to love again, too
the reason why he has a soft spot for little animals and children, like we see for ipin, is that he (unconsciously?) sees in them the innocence he himself lost. plus tiny and cute things help him cope when he is having episodes
he also treats ipin well because she is fon’s pupil. and i love to think of them as a little family
if hibari has a ring he really likes or is emotionally attached to he makes sure to never wear it on his fingers so he doesnt risk breaking it with his flames
hibari is pretty much a nerd, in his own twisted way. i mean. he’s seen reading in a bunch of official arts and we know that he’s very fond of the wonders of the world, he started up the foundation for his box researches and he knows well how illusions work - which means he studied them. since he was moved by his hatred towards mukuro, his illusion studies must have reached an unhealthy level, becoming an obsession
fon trained hibari on how to fight against illusions as well
for hibari, finding out he has mist flames too was very much of a shock, but he eventually accepts it. he only uses those flames if really needed (like the foundation entry camouflage)
i will get back to this post when i’ll have established:
why hibari picks tonfas as his weapons (i already have an idea but i havent gone into details myself enough to write about it here)
hibari’s parents and fon’s mother’s name
anything relevant that i forgot or come up with
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#hibari kyoya#kyoya hibari#khr headcanon#headcanon#trans headcanon#tw: death#tw: murder#tw: eating disorder#cw: mental illness#i wont tag the two people i tagged in my first post again so that i dont bother them again shdjz#also made the answer to one of them more vague so i didnt have to write the username there! why didnt i think about it the first time me du#i cant believe i had to repost this because of ONE word that went against the policy#and i had to censor the other with nonsensical letter space#like man this is so much
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so because a3 is still relatively new (locally at least) i wanted to do a small introduction post to introduce my muses from it! i haven’t dropped in any headcanons (yet) so this’ll just be basic early game canon or character traits i think are neat. deadass i’m out here with half the cast i don’t know why i’m like this either frankly.
AZUMA YUKISHIRO
one of the oldest members of the company, likely in his early thirties. somehow manages to “defy aging” with his makeup skills and natural beauty.
he is fully aware of how pretty he is, thank you for asking.
a big brother to all.
gentle, easygoing, and calm, even in crisis or under stress.
have you met a professional cuddler. now you have.
noted to have an alluring personality and high sex appeal, because that’s great. likes to flirt a lot, and is very direct. says things that he definitely probably shouldn’t.
not much is known about his past, even among those in the company and his own troupe (winter), he keeps it this way intentionally. it’s implied he might have once been a host, as when he left his prior work to pursue acting, his clients were devastated.
skilled at poker and similar card games.
ITARU CHIGASAKI
what’s up gamers.
prince archetype. even within the major company he works for as an elite employee, he’s well respected/regarded. feels refreshing and calming to be around.
very, very handsome. like holy shit.
“two modes”. the professional look he gives for his work and in public--and the exact mode that give him his prince-like associations, and how he is in private. his public persona is mostly facade, though his compassion and caring nature is genuine. his “true self” is a hardcore gamer and otaku, like this, he curses more frequently and comes off rude or lazy.
he likes to keep these two personas separate, understandably. with most personal relationships, he holds everyone at a distance.
he works in finances, and not much is known about his passion for acting or if he has much of one at all. regardless of this, he’s a member of the spring troupe.
he often uses gaming and internet terms in his speech, especially in his “casual/gamer” mode.
to him, mankai is where he can truly be himself.
KAZUNARI MIYOSHI
voted most likely to quote vines irl. a literal influencer. always on top of the latest trends
a member of the summer troupe, he assumes he’s friends with everyone he meets--no questions asked, even if they come off rather abrasive. great social skills! he talks to anyone and everyone like he’s known them for years, so he’s easy to get along with.
a graphic design student, he makes the fliers for mankai. his skill is in illustration, and he has just as much passion for it as he does with acting.
you literally can NOT say he isn’t fashionable. that’s his shtick.
lowkey (but highkey) flirty with anyone he’s interested in. you know. casual.
despite his carefree attitude, he chooses his words carefully to leave those he meets with the best impression of him. he thinks so long as he befriends people, things are fine, even if a lot of those friendships are shallow at their best.
you get a nickname! and YOU get a nickname! and yo-
updates his social media daily and often. instagram, twitter, line, etc.
MASUMI USUI
a member of the spring troupe, he only joined up with mankai because he fell in love with the director in a moment of “love at first sight”. obviously, this isn’t requited. he does everything he can to try and impress her, despite having little interest in acting itself.
a bit of a “bad boy” trope, a rebel and troublemaker. he’s standoffish and rude to practically everyone else. comes across as cold and indifferent.
good at memorization! this comes in handy with their scripts.
his parents travel abroad often, so his family life is ... questionable, he has little restrictions at home and lives a carefree lifestyle, which feeds into his indifference
has a lot of female fans AND a fanclub at school thanks to his looks. he doesnt care for that shit at all tbqh.
he flirts ... a lot ... if he’s interested in you romantically ... but so far that’s only directed AT the director herself and it’s embarrassing. lovesick puppy.
i’m so sorry for him and anyone that tries to talk to him he’s kind of a dick.
MISUMI IKARUGA
honestly the definition of “bro i am just vibing.”
hard to understand, just a generally confusing person. not much is known about him or his past! he just sort of...showed up one day, crashing in the mankai dorms and becoming a member of the summer troupe shortly after.
his physical capabilities are really impressive, up to and including scaling walls and running up to ceilings. he took to acting really easily as well, and his skill in it surprised almost everyone. his wide range in characters and how easily he shifts into them implies past experience.
constantly thinking about triangles, and collects everything in a triangle shape, eats triangle food...you know how it is. the local children have dubbed him the “triangle-alien!”
enthusiastic and eccentric are the best words to describe him.
he just kind of does whatever he feels like doing, seemingly without much thought. this includes: trespassing, and stealing stuff from others (usually food). just right out of your hands.
really good at communicating with animals! it seems they have a mutual understanding.
hardcore parkour
MUKU SAKISAKA
baby (professionally diagnosed).
his motto is deadass “do one good deed each day” he is a BABY
memorizes and treasures shoujo manga, taking the male figures as inspirations. he deeply admires princes and wants to become prince-like one day.
modest, kind, and easily flustered when it comes to praise. also a lot of anxiety? he thought one of the other summer troupe members was a ghost out to get him when it was first suggested and he really thought it was because he left a single grain of rice on his plate when he was five. he’s just like this.
persecution complex.
just really...pure...
he used to do track and field, but he wasn’t passionate about it despite being the team’s ace. he only joined because he read a manga where the protagonist was on track, so he followed in his footsteps. he only quit after an injury he sustained that forever kept him from performing at his best ever again.
can recite fairytales from memory!
SAKUYA SAKUMA
sunshine embodied, the leader of mankai’s spring troupe! he was the first member of mankai, and despite his lack of skill he’s incredibly passionate about acting. he puts all of himself in everything he does. super ambitious!!
:) auditioned because of family issues, you know how it goes. ( he’s an orphan, and his new family was only really interested in what mankai could bring them, rather than his own interests.)
open and honest to a fault, he also tends to be a bit naive. he’s trying his best to be a little more independent, but that’s a long process. otherwise enthusiastic, easygoing, and positive, gets along well with pretty much everyone!
naturally lucky! give him your phone for gacha pulls.
skilled at remembering faces and names!
he still carries the script for romeo & julius, the first play the mankai company ever performed. he looks at it if he ever feels lonely, as the company feels like a family to him.
would really like to play a ruthless villain in the future, because that’s so different from what he actually is.
TAICHI NANAO
i assign you with “puppy”. a member of the autumn troupe, he has a very hyperactive personality! one of his biggest aspirations is to be popular and liked/noticed by others.
a prime example of this are his yo-yo skills and hyper origami, at the peak of their popularity he took to trying to master both, but by the time he had no one was interested anymore, and he felt horribly defeated.
his first dose of minor fame came from a minor acting role with his classmates, whose admiration he gained for his skill. ever since, he’s been trying to get this level of attention back ever since.
very in-the-know when it comes to the latest trends, because of this! fashion, past times, you name it.
needs recognition as a way to validate himself, to an unhealthy degree. he’s easily discouraged when met with criticism or when given a role he has little confidence in.
noisy and generally upbeat, and maintains an optimistic attitude despite his own lack of self-confidence.
TENMA SUMERAGI
essentially raised in the world of acting, he’s a former child prodigy who still stars in programs outside of the company.
because both of his parents are movie stars, and because of his own past, he has great faith in his abilities and hates to lose. high confidence to the point of being a bit egotistical.
“oresama” trope. his cocky attitude has gotten him into a bit of trouble with his fellow actors. as a result, prior to joining the mankai company, he didn’t have a lot of friends.
leader of the summer troupe, becoming a part of the troupe has forced him to learn to humble himself and learn to empathize. at the same time, he joined the company to overcome his weakness in performing in front of live audiences. in film, the mistakes can be edited, live? there’s a chance to disappoint the audience, and worse yet, his parents. he wants to overcome this fear and grow to be a better actor.
no sense of direction, despite his protests. also easily frightened when it comes to “scary things.” think of the classics: ghosts, abandoned places, etc.
really wants to play the role of a “bad guy” to expand his horizons, he’s often placed in cool or suave roles on tv.
TSUMUGI TSUKIOKA
the gentle, soft-spoken leader of the winter troupe! he’s said to take on his grandmother’s personality, often playing the mediator when it comes to conflict and holds a great desire for harmony
extremely!! empathetic!! to a fault, because of his empathy and sensibility, it seeps into his confidence, making him doubt himself and his own abilities--especially with acting. he’s not all that assertive either, as a result.
the mankai company is helping him grow, nowadays, he has a little more faith in himself, though he’s still rather shy.
dabbled in acting before back in university before reigniting the spark with mankai. he withdrew after intense criticism and watching his fellow theater students pass by him in ability, and it led to an intense falling out with a childhood friend (said friend is now also a part of the winter troupe)
psychology major and part-time tutor
really fucking good at rock paper scissors
he has a passion for gardening, thanks to his grandmother. he understands the language of flowers and often takes care of them.
#long post /#IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA#please love my boys im going to cry#this is really messy im so sorry but i love... they....#` ☆ study. ⁞ azuma. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ itaru. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ kazunari. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ masumi. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ misumi. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ muku. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ sakuya. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ taichi. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ tenma. ◞#` ☆ study. ⁞ tsumugi. ◞
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How you even get people interested your fics, asking for a friend thanks
Aw, man, isn’t that a question for the ages?
So I’m gonna preface this by saying that there’s no magic quick-fix to attract more readers (however much we all wish there were.) Writing for the big ships or posting a fic featuring a popular trope/AU when it’s popular is going to get you more readers than writing niche fics, but chasing trends isn’t going to make you happy and it might even hurt the quality of your work. When you post and whether there was some big fandom or IRL event that drew attention away from the newly published pages (or flooded them, burying your fic under ten pages of Klance week ficlets or whatever) can also play a big role.
Secondly, and I know you’re probably not going to like hearing this, try not to worry too much about numbers like hits/kudos/bookmarks/reviews. They don’t mean as much as you think, and they aren’t a reflection on your skill as a writer or the value of your story. The best thing to do is to find some other way to measure success–maybe it’s how many words you’ve written, maybe it’s whether you stick to a consistent update schedule. Maybe it’s reaching that scene you’ve been dying to write for forever. But make sure it’s something that’s in your control, because depending on the faceless masses for validation sucks, and you deserve better.
Okay, on to some advice for attracting readers.
1. Rework your summary. Confession time: I hate writing summaries. Hate it. I’m already not good with short form and trying to sum up a story in a hundred words or less is even worse. But it’s one of the most important skills for a writer to learn, since it’s your one shot to get people interested enough to click that link. If you’re stuck, here are some suggestions, with examples of how I’ve used them for my own stories.
Pick a (short!) excerpt from your piece. Maybe a brief exchange of dialogue, maybe the opening line, maybe something else. It should be something that doesn’t require context to understand and that makes people want to find out what happens next (or what led up to this moment.) Example:
This psychic—Lance the Lucid, according to the posters, and Keith wasn’t even going to comment on that—was a charlatan, plain and simple, and Keith kind of wanted to punch him. Sure, Lance knew how to put on a show, but Keith doubted there was anything more to the act than charm and dramatic flair.
Pidge sighed, catching Keith’s eyes. “At this point, they’re pretty much our only hope.”
If you’re writing an AU, especially a canon divergence AU, put the focus on what you’re changing. Example:
Shiro used to dream of Earth. That was before the Arena, before Haggar, before he joined the Galra army. At least he has an ally, a Galra officer named Keith. Together they plan to bring down Zarkon’s empire from the inside.
Matt never thought he’d see his family again. Then he crash-lands on Earth and Pidge rescues him from Garrison custody. But his homecoming is short-lived. Now the Holt siblings, along with Lance and Hunk, must find the Voltron lions and free the universe from Galra control.
Or: Galra!Keith, double agent!Shiro, red paladin!Matt, black paladin!Allura, full series AU.
If you’re writing something tropey, or a twist on a cliche, maybe highlight that. Example:
[following a short description of plot] Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)
Sometimes the simplest thing to do, especially for shorter stories, is to do a one-two punch in your summary. The set-up and the punchline. The scenario and the twist. The status quo and the catastrophe. Think “Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.” Or better yet, the next part of that intro–defining the Avatar and then hitting us with “and then he vanished for a hundred years whoops.” Whatever you do, keep it short. Example:
When Keith was seven years old, he spent a year in La Quinta with a boy named Lance, the best friend he ever had. Ten years later, Lance and Keith reunite at the Garrison–only Keith doesn’t remember who Lance is.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that shorter is (usually) better, but you want to include enough to hook readers’ attention. It’s hard, I know, but keep working at it and it’ll get easier. Seriously–write five completely different summaries for your fic, all under 100 words. Give yourself a 5 or 10 minute limit for each so you don’t agonize too much. Set them aside for a while, then come back and see what works. Or write a list of all the things you’re most excited about in a given piece, cut out any major spoilers, and try to work one or two of the others into your summary.
2. Be strategic about your tags. If you’re posting on AO3, use tags people are going to search. Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, any tropes that feature prominently, any relationships (especially gen ones) that are a major focus. Be wary of overtagging–Shatt shippers, for example, know all too well how common it is to search for Shatt and turn up only Klance fics with a passing mention of Shiro and Matt going on a date. But plenty of people search for specific tags in trying to find new stories. Use that.
Similarly, if you post on Tumblr, use your tags efficiently. The first five tags on a post are the ones that the post will show up in (i.e. if you have a tag tracker or go to tumblr.com/tagged/____) Tumblr’s search looks at the first twenty tags, I believe. So use your first five tags for either the most popular or the most niche aspects of your fic. (i.e. tagging it “klance” will have a larger potential audience, though it’ll get buried pretty quickly; tagging “matt holt” or “shatt” gives you a much smaller potential audience, but one that’s more starved for content so will probably click your link at a higher rate.) Prioritize, and leave your organization tags/tag commentary for after.
3. Your first chapter should pack a punch. This one may be a little harder to put into practice if you have an existing fic you’re trying to drum up interest in, but it’s worth keeping in mind. If your summary and tags get people through the door, your first chapter (in a multichapter fic)/your first few paragraphs (for any fic) is where people decide whether or not this is worth reading. Goals to strive for:
Your first line, or at most your first paragraph, should hook reader’s interest. It should ask an implicit question–what’s happening? How did we get here?
(the equivalent of) Your first page (a couple hundred words, tops) should establish the situation and forward momentum. Diving straight into action with no context can be confusing, but lingering too long on exposition can make people tune out before they get to the good part. I’ve heard it said that the first 250 words should establish three things: character, context, and motive. Who are we focused on, what’s happening right now, and why does it matter? There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but make sure you know why you’re deviating if you decide to do so.
Your first chapter (assuming you have more than one) should leave people wanting more. Don’t leave them in the middle of the set-up, or they may not be motivated to continue. But don’t give them everything they need to see where this is going, or they won’t bother waiting to find out.
**Update: There’s now a follow-up post talking a little bit more about how to start a story, with examples!**
4. Persistence is key. Out of all the advice I can give you, this one’s going to be the hardest to follow, I’m sure. It can feel like you’re throwing words at a void and getting nothing back. Sometimes you have a real slow start. Sometimes you’re writing self-induldgent rarepare stuff, and it seems like you and two other people are the only ones who ship it–and those other two never comment.
The thing is, writing fic (especially as a newcomer or writing niche fic) is like playing Marco Polo at a death metal concert. Not only are you shouting into a sea of noise, but you’re also trying to find the relative handful of people who are going to answer. But here’s the thing: if you yell “Marco” once and get no response, then go home, you’ll never find those other people. If you keep yelling–maybe stay in one spot and yell over and over, maybe wander around calling out every so often–you’ll find someone, and then you’ll find someone else, and then maybe someone else will start shouting with you and find three more people. It starts slow, but it builds momentum.
In terms of fic, though, what does that mean? It means keep writing. Maybe keep hammering away at this one fic–excellent if it’s something you’re excited about, something you need to write no matter what. You keep putting it out there and you’ll start to beat back the wave of random chance that conspires to bury your fic because of weird posting times or an onslaught from a fandom event.
Maybe write a bunch of shorter fics, participate in bangs and exchanges and other events. You might hook readers with your Klance soulmate AU that you did for a secret santa, then tempt them into trying your other stuff (true story.) You might make friends by chatting in a big bang’s discord, and they can help you write more attention-grabbing summaries, or can signal boost on Tumblr. (Or just be that one person who stans your writing and keeps you motivated through low hit counts on AO3.) Or you might just hit a whole bunch of people’s rarepair/nich buttons and start building a following that way.
Or maybe it means going a little more off the rails. Try a different fandom. Write original fiction. Write an 80k Marauders-at-Hogwarts fic for yourself, edit it, and only then start posting a chapter a week so you can grow your reader base without the low number of comments chipping away at your motivation because joke’s on you, hit counter. I already have the next chapter done. And the one after that, and all of them, so they’re still coming even if no one’s reading. ha-ha! (Also a true story.)
Look, the point is, building a reader base is hard, and it’s frustrating, and a lot if it is based on luck and fandom trends, and you’re always going to want to get caught up in the numbers. Even once you have readers, you might get frustrated because the tropey shipfic with a shoddy plot that you BS’d your way through has ten times as much love as the lovingly crafted, well-plotted AU that you’ve poured literally thousands of hours into. Because writers are all starved for feedback, and with the exception of people lucky enough (or unlucky enough) to hit a fandom sweet spot and get shot straight into the realms of That One Fic Everyone Knows About–with the exception of those freak accidents of fate, the people who have sizable followings are almost always people who just plain love to write and do it regardless of what anyone else says or does.
So don’t write for the readers. Write for yourself first, and love what you write. Write stories that need to be told. Stories you can’t bear not to tell–because when you care that much about a story, it shows, and when the right people find your story, they’re going to love that you love it. Trust me. The right people are out there. You just have to keep shouting until you find them.
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miranova23 (@kaiba-fangirl) replied to your photo:
Hey no prob! On mobile rn (& should be doing hw <.<) but as far as the ~controversial~ ships, I know they can still be aged-up or the ship name used for just any other kind of relationSHIP. Heck, most of the characters are canonically underage, and there's even the reveal of Seth & Atemu being cousins, buuut it's Ancient Egypt, & does that mean their reincarnated spirits count as cousins??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ btw finally wrote out a long-time-coming brothershipping post. we seem to be on the same page though 👍 As far as ettushipping i don't really have anything else rn i guess... but I'll keep u in mind =)
It took me a minute to realise you were referring to locketshipping aka tabloidshipping aka incesty Mokuba/Seto. For some reason, probably just wishful thinking, I thought at first maybe you meant battleshipping (Jou/Seto/Yuugi) or buddyshipping (Honda/Jou)...
I made the statements I did without really contextualising them within the context of the ygo fandom. It didn’t occur to me you were referring to a distaste for the fandom presence of certain ships or the way they’re presented. So... sorry I got kind of weird on you in the tags.
below the cut is tl;dr about controversial stuff and incest and sibling abuse
re: tags. I know people in fandom use the term ‘pedophilia’ as a catch all for... whatever they view as having the potential of including child sexual abuse. I personally think maintaining the distinction between pedophilic and ephebophilic attraction patterns (which people may or may not act on), and acts of child sexual abuse (for which attraction may or may not be a factor) is important. But really I knew what you meant when you said what you said, so I realised I was being pretty nitpicky. But also, even more generally, I think people should be free to write about controversial and potentially disturbing topics, so long as they realise what they’re doing and include proper tags/warning.
re: scandalship. Usually when I’m talking about incest ships I’m not talking about cousins. Not that cousin incest isn’t technically incest, but it’s allowed in most of the world today including some US states. And it doesn’t have the same kind of relational baggage as parent or sibling incest. The bigger part of what makes things incest in my mind is the person having been closely involved in the other person’s formative childhood development in capacity as a parent or sibling, and it almost without exception coincides with abuse. Malik/Rishid is an incest ship in my mind because Rishid was undoubtedly a brother to Malik during his upbringing. (Isis/Rishid is harder for me to make a call on because we see less of their relationship. It’s not clear whether they were raised together in an intimate proximity, or whether they really relate as siblings. So, depending on what headcanons you’re working with, I think both incestuous and non-incestuous interpretations of a romantic relationship between them could be valid.)
But, in terms of what you were talking about in your post here - I haven’t run into a lot of Mokuba/Seto personally - not enough to view it as some sort of fandom problem. But admittedly I haven’t gone looking for fics specifically featuring the two of them, so maybe that’s why. I know I’ve seen someone else also complain about the abundance of Mokuba/Seto in the search for gen fic, and I also had a similar experience pretty recently, so presumably it is a common fandom experience. I was searching through doujinshi on pixiv and opened something that I assumed to be Kaibros gen but was not. I had actually long since thought the internet has massively desensitised me to everything, but I actually shuddered irl. This isn’t to condemn the artist - admittedly I think everybody should label/tag things like that but I assume they did and I was the one that went around clicking links without taking the time to read the Japanese. But from a perspective of what I found disturbing was the kind of ease that you described in your post - that kind of moves between something I’d consider part of a very close and caring and acceptable sibling relationship, to something unacceptable that immediately undermines the validity of Seto and Mokuba hugging or sharing a bed in a nonsexual context, but also tries to capatalise on and continue off of the ‘cute’ vibes set up by what could have once been reasonably interpreted as a platonically intimate gesture, instead of a symptom of abuse.
(Yeah, for the record, I don’t think it’s abnormal for siblings to be physically affectionate to a degree. A lot of siblings aren’t as close as you and your brother, even siblings with more or less amiable relationships, but I agree it’s odd and unfair to assume that you guys can’t or shouldn’t be platonically affectionate. Otoh, though, I feel like it’s not always easy to spot a family resemblance, so I get how people may be confused. And also just wanna throw out there that sibling sexual abuse is more common than anybody wants to admit, and there’s a critical lack of attention towards the issue compared to rarer types of child sexual abuse, so it’s unfortunately possible that people are projecting their own unhealthy histories and dynamics onto you.)
But, hmm, there was another case I had where I ran into (appropriately warned for) Mokuba/Seto that I think handled the topic pretty delicately. It was about a Seto that had a plethora of sexual desires (including feelings for Mokuba) that he felt unequipped to find an outlet for - partly because of the ferocity with which he isolates himself and pushes away human contact. It was an unsettling story - but what made it palatable for me was the way both the narrative and Seto himself were keenly aware of how inappropriate acting on such desires would be. Seto’s guilt-ridden, convinced of his own monstrosity, and desperate to escape to VR (or wherever he can go to not deal with anything even remotely like an emotion). Seto immediately understands this attraction poses a threat and threatens to topple every way in which he’s tried to protect Mokuba. And Mokuba’s increasingly worried for his brother, and too naive to really understand exactly what the big deal is - even when Seto crosses the line and kisses him (and immediately pushes Mokuba away and runs off and curls up into a ball of self-loathing). And, when VR proves to be an insufficient method of escaping his own humanity, Mokuba finally convinces Seto to reach out to Yuugi, and Seto agrees because - even thought the last thing he wants to do is reach out to anyone - he cares more about remaining a good brother to Mokuba than maintaining the comfort of his own emotional isolation. So it becomes a reassertion of how much Seto values Mokuba as a brother and puts him first, rather than an expression of sexual violence.
I’m not saying this story is something for everyone (it’s not. it made me uncomfortable at times. and the solace that it was meant to make me uncomfortable was enough to soothe me, but I realise that’s not enough for everyone.) It also doesn’t blend with my personal headcanons, tbh, and it’s not something I would be interested in writing about with regards to Seto and Mokuba. But as a reader and letting the author take the reins, I enjoyed the fic, and I see the merit in it exploring the concepts it did. Far more than I see the merit in exploring Seto and Mokuba in the context of ‘aw, cute they’re hugging. now they’re kissing. uwu’ But, idk, I’m also not the arbitrator of what fiction has merit or isn’t too irredeemably creepy for anyone other than myself.
idk, like I said, I haven’t run into much Mokuba/Seto during my (mostly relatively recent) run of the fandom. Maybe it’s a bigger issue than I envisioned. And, well, I can’t stop people from creating fanart of Kaiba and Mokuba cuddling with whatever understanding they have of the circumstances behind the scene. But- yeah. I don’t support locket-/tabloid-/brother- shipping them in that manner. I’ve heard a lot of people just say ‘Kaibros’ to refer to Seto & Mokuba as a unit. But I don’t know if there’s a consensus on what people use as a tag for gen Seto & Mokuba things *shrugs*
(And, um, just more generally regarding the Kaiba brothers - I think they can be pretty unhealthily codependent, but no more than I’d expect two brothers having been through foster care and alone against the world to be. I don’t mean to undermine how important and loving and their relationship with one another has been, and how much it has been a saving grace for them.)
Anyhow, sorry for this upsetting tl;dr but- Thank you again! And, lol, yes! Keep me in mind for all things ettushipping related! And polarship and pupship and rivalship and battleship and 5000 other things tbh, lol.
#Kaiba Mokuba#Kaiba Seto#meta#DeLurk words the meta#save me from this card game hell#cw: abuse#cw: csa mention#cw: incest
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