#I apply history as that’s always been my interest
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Sauron vs Galadriel & gender cross-dressing
Some of my thoughts inspired by Mercury Natis esse, where she speaks about Tolkien works and Sauron deviant sexuality and female fatal parralel, that you can find here.
She looks at it in the context of the plot of Numenor and its fall, but I noticed some interesting parallels with RoP that I wanted to share.
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As Mercury writes, Sauron is a different type of force and evil than Morgoth, being his sorser and left hand:
The devil's right hand is so often in biblical narrative a woman who exerts power through seductive means. She is Eve, Salome, Lilith, Delilah, Jezebel the hore of Babylon lot's daughters and I could go on and on and on and on and on.
...Melchor is our devil figure, Melchor is our Satan figure, Sauron isn't, Sauron is the left hand of the devil and as I said, the left hand of the devil is almost always a woman. And that is a very different position to be in than the figure of worship himself as opposed to the false prophet, who draws the faithful in, and makes them unfaithful, and now you're worshiping the devil. It's a very different power dynamic there.
It is no mistake that Tolkien often uses the word lust as a metaphor for the will to power a drive to dominate. what Tolkien has done on numenor is choose to still use this Trope of the Ishah Zarah/ Femme Fatale, but as he didn't want to apply it to women he chose to apply it to a male character.
In a sense, Mercury confirms Sauron's need to worship a third higher being (Morgoth, Galadriel), but if with Morgoth he did it so to speak naturally, then as for the other characters and victims of his manipulation, it was his tactic for achieving power, not a male but a female strategy, which was rewritten by the authors of the Victorian era of the 19th century in to a concept of Femme Fatale:
Alice Bach book “women's seduction and betrayal and biblical narrative” is a very comprehensive look at biblical narratives, in which women exemplify villainy. These biblical stories, Bach explains, draw on the androcentric Biblical logic that women through Eve thwarted the divine plan. The fall and in turn original sin are Eve's fault, and so that stain continues through her line and through the daughters of Eve. it is in these biblical narratives that women offer deceitful delicacies to men who greedily reach out for them no matter what the dangers.
What we're seeing in Sauron and Ar-Pharazôn relationship is a complex power Dynamic that is usually presented in gendered terms. Women in our patriarchal society have been for most of history in a position of disadvantage in terms of power. So the Femme Fatale is a fear of women using their disadvantaged positions to gain power and take that power away from Men. It is as Maria Alberto notes in her paper on Tolkien's use of Seduction in his legendarium. That ultimately the nature of Seduction is deceit and manipulation. The purpose of Seduction is the attempted increase of power. This is the crux of the spike of the Femme Fatale in the 19th century in their art and literature that poured gallons of this Trope Into the cauldron of story. The way that Sauron enacts his power over Ar-Pharazôn is through the means of the Femme Fatale. He manipulates Farazone into taking him to numenor in the first place where he subjugates and submits himself to Ar-Pharazôn voracious need for hyper masculine dominance. And through honeyed words and a beautiful face through the means of Seduction available to the Femme Fatale takes the position of power. But through the guise of being behind the throne not on it.
It is also interesting that the change in gender roles concerns both Sauron himself and Galadriel. For she, like Eowyn at the beginning of the story in the first and second seasons, embodies the behavior typical of male characters:
- Worrier
- Active
- Powerful
- In control
Whereas Sauron's manner of interaction with Celebrimbor in the second season is purely feminine:
- give counsel
- understand/ empathizes
- passive
To understand the transference of gendered tropes across gender boundaries it is useful to just briefly review the feminine principle in Tolkien's legendarium as Melanie Rawls put it in 1984.
Rawls identifies that Tolkien doesn't limit traditional gender roles to sex bodies. Male characters like Elrond and Faramir can act in feminine ways and female characters like Eovin can act in masculine ways. She identifies that in Arda the prime feminine characteristic is understanding, and the prime masculine characteristic is power. Feminines give counsel and masculine's act. In the case of feminines a good feminine is merciful and compassionate, bad feminines can be anywhere from wholly passive to devouring in their selfishness. Another way to put it is that feminines influence the world around them through understanding, through words and emotional attention, whereas masculines influence the world around them through action.
What is interesting is that in the first season Sauron plays the role of a secondary, driven character compared to Galadriel, but still a courageous, lost king who possesses all the characteristics of masculinity presented in the legends:
- sacrificial
- brave
- Active
And I am sure that it was these qualities that attracted/tempted Galadriel as a female character. And that power and her ambitions went hand in hand with them, because:
In Rawls his own words the feminine principle shapes individuals the masculine principle shapes events. What Rawls misses that Saluron does both of these things, and in the second age before he loses his body his primary mode of shaping events is through shaping individuals, and making individuals do the acting in his stead, using people, notably all male characters, as pawns towards their own destruction. Sauron's influence on Ar-Pharazôn is a prime example of this, where he uses his feminine characteristics as a tool to shape Numenor's demise.
The way that the seduction mechanism works with Sauron is about giving the other person the illusion of power, so they have to want power to enact that power on him, and then he goes, well actually I had the power the entire time so it's fine.
And yet he does not show his ambitions to dominate Galadrel, at least directly allowing her to think that she is in control of the situation. Supporting her ambitions for power with his service, her power over him, using his"false femininity":
in her assessment of tolkien's use of the word lust, Emma Hawkins notes that Tolkien seems to reject the idea that Evil just happens to people. Rather than being unsuspecting innocent victims evil is made through choices and in terms of a lust man is complicit in his own ruin. Herod and Ar-Pharazôn in being subject to their lusts are seduced But ultimately make the choice to give their seducers exactly what they want.
So when Sauron reveals his identity to her at the end of season one, on top of all the other obstacles to accepting the fact that Halbrant is Sauron, one of the hardest things to deal with was accepting that gender roles themselves had changed and changed forever.
And we see this at the end of the second season in their duel. When Galadriel is finally defeated in a direct confrontation with him.
But it is not the loss itself that is so painful, but the fact that Galadriel did not know herself or did not remember herself in any other role except the role of a warrior (male), which she herself admitted in a conversation with Elrond.
Gal- Who will I be without a sword?
Elrond- My friend
(not exact quote sorry)
So yes, season 3 is in many ways for me an expectation of how they will play out this internal growth of a character who is forced to leave his usual gender role and get to know himself from a completely new side, and reveal new side of a power that go hand by hand with that.
(Which essentially fits perfectly into her arc of transformation into a powerful forest witch and mastery of magic, namely, inner feminine powers).
This opens up an interesting window into their battle in Season 2, where essentially the false femininity of Sauron battles the false masculinity of Galadriel. And ultimately, they both fail to achieve their goals in this battle. Sauron in tempting Galadriel, and Galadriel in defeating Sauron with brute force.
Whether this theme will be further developed in the third season and whether it will become key at all, I don’t know, but the fact that it is present in Tolkien’s legendarium itself and in RoP cannot be completely ruled out.
How Mercury said in here esse, Tolkien was very specific on this topic:
In the feminine principle Rawls notes that where masculine and feminine are in harmony there is good, but evil is a result of insufficiency or disharmony of one or the other. In this case the evil is found in a cacophonous disharmony of the masculine and The Feminine where they are both fighting for control rather than actually working together.
#the rings of power#sauron#annatar#charlie vickers#amazon rings of power#galadriel#lord of the rings#morfydd clark#haladriel#rings of power
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Hi, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post! 💗 It’s been quite a while since I engaged with anything related to Storm and Silence. I read the series when I was in high school. I was around 14 years old, and I had such a great time with it. Now, about ten years later, I’ve been thinking about it and decided to search for discussions. Reading through the comments here has brought back memories, but it’s also left me questioning how I now feel about the use of slurs in literature 🤔
I wonder, does your stance apply only to works on Wattpad, or does it extend to all forms of literature?
I ask this because there’s a similar critique and backlash against To Kill a Mockingbird in my country. Here, the book is being phased out of schools because of its use of the N-word. Personally, this deeply pains me because I believe To Kill a Mockingbird is an incredibly necessary book. I see literature as a mirror and a lens that reflect its time and allows us to examine those contexts critically. The N-word in To Kill a Mockingbird, for instance, is not there to glorify racism but to reveal its brutality and systemic nature in a way that provokes outrage and reflection. Yes, the N-word is undeniably offensive, but its inclusion in the book isn’t gratuitous; it serves a purpose. Harper Lee wasn’t racist—she used racist characters to shine a light on the horrifying effects of racism. Removing this book doesn’t protect students; instead, it deprives them of the chance to grapple with these issues in a safe and guided environment.
I understand that Wattpad allows authors creative liberties and is positioned more as entertainment than as a critical engagement with historical issues. And that's what you disagree with? That Wattpad authors may not always intend to educate or provoke critical thought, whereas canonical literature often seeks to do that?
As a Black South African, I also feel that our experiences with racism and with words like the N-word are not the same as those of Black Americans and dare I say it, White Americans. 👀 Our histories, cultures, and struggles are different. Personally, encountering this word in literature like To Kill a Mockingbird was an invitation to understand the weight it carries in a specific historical and cultural context. It offered opportunities to learn, empathise, and think critically, rather than turning away from it.
I understand the desire to protect young readers from harm, but I worry that in shielding them from uncomfortable realities, we’re doing more harm than good.
The answer isn’t to remove these books but to contextualize them. Pair them with works by diverse authors, especially local voices, to create a more balanced and inclusive curriculum. This way, students can engage with a variety of perspectives, all while learning to critically think about the world around them.
It’s funny how much I’ve shifted away from your initial comment on slurs in Storm and Silence 😂 but I'm really interested in the broader discussion about slurs in literature and their place in storytelling. What do you think?
One thing I'll never get over is how Storm & Silence could've easily been so much better if Rob Their(the author) wasn't afraid to actually write a compelling story.
Don't get me wrong, I adore the whole concept of '19 year old Victorian girl dresses up as a man to get a job'. But it's just so poorly written that I think about all the ways the story could be better when I'm in the bus going home from college.
I mean, that's how it is with books, they will be criticized no matter how good or how bad it may be. But then again, this is a Wattpad book. You can never expect too much from a Wattpad book. Every character feels very two dimensional after the first book that every other book after that is just plain fan-service.
The first book is genuinely good, except for the hyper feminist way Lilly is written to be. The author doesn't even bother to add conflict between any of the characters. The ONLY conflict that we ever get is Lilly arguing with Rikkard how she's capable of anything even if she's a women in every single book. It keeps going on and on like this that it just gets boring.
And the way Lilly's intelligence is suppressed makes me mad too. Like in book 3, she literally deciphers a map to find the treasure, but god forbid she recognizes her fiancé's(whether she likes him or not) initials on the waste disposal file and connect the dots on how he and her previous guy(I forgot his name) might've just disappeared. That right there could've been a good conflict. She recognizes the initials, realizes what Rikkard might've done, get angry and argue about not wanting him to interfere with it, then having to find an escape from her next fiancé and choosing to go out of town with Rikkard against her will instead of telling him why bcs she doesn't want a new waste disposal file.
Not to be mean, but the author is a man. At the end of the day, the way female characters are written by men will never be realistic. I know there might be real people out there like Lilly, but the way her "inner feminist"(I hate when she kept saying 'mY iNneR FemIniSt iS prOtEstiNg' stfu) is written truly makes me want to pull my hair out. It will never be same as writing a story from a women's perspective when you already know what it's like. I'm not saying that men are incapable of understanding the female experience, I'm saying that it's stupid and annoying when a man pretends he does.
Also the lack of historical accuracy boils my blood. Rob claims to have done thorough research on every historical details yet somehow Lilly and Rikkard goes on top of the Statue of Liberty despite the story taking place around 1840 and the statue starting its construction in 1876.
SNS was the last and final original story I've read on Wattpad. I really wish I could go back and keep myself away from that app and read an actual book. But it's the only place I could go to when I lost my sanity. Let me know how you feel about the book. I know there's barely anyone in the fandom, but please tell me your perspective.
P.S. can someone tell me where Rob used the slur. I read about many people talking about it but I cannot remember or recognize where it is.
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So take that as you will.
Side note: ignore the tags it’s just nonsensical ramble. I’ve been ill and when I’m ill well you’ve seen the results before if you’re looked at my page for more than a split second. My brain just doesn’t stop.
#dbz#dragon ball#dragonball#xenoverse 2#Dodoria#frieza force#let’s shove a headcanon in the tags#because why the hell not#right so#Dodoria hating Frieza? I’ll dial that back to I think episode Bardock#like when planet vegeta becomes space dust blah blah#I wonder if Zarbon and Dodoria as a pair hypothetically mind#hypothetically#planned on a coup d’état using the Saiyans#in that version at least#maybe they assumed Frieza would deal with king vegeta and they’d be sent on foot to deal with the rest#as it’s implied or assumed that it wasn’t just planet vegeta that was lost#perhaps they had last their lands too#idk#it’s coming up 3am in like 45 minutes and my brain doesn’t want to brain anymore#and I end up thinking about aliens who were lucky to have an hour of screen time#🩷💚#yeah let’s rep them as hearts#this tag section should be ignored after ‘Frieza force’#it’s just a ramble beyond that#I apply history as that’s always been my interest#and yeah#can’t help it can I#jeez this is a ramble and a half#queue~~~
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What You Wanted
Richard wanted to better himself. At first, as a wide-eyed new freshman, he was looking to make a change. Having always been more nerdy and unathletic, Richard prioritized his studies rather than his physical fitness growing up. But after years of fearing the gym, he took his first step. And the rest was history. He grew lean with muscle and learned the ins and outs of the gym routine. He found a gym buddy and quickly climbed the social hierarchy. Smart, fit, and now entering his junior year- he was living his best life.
“Richard!” Thomas’s nasally voice cut through the air, “Are you even paying attention?” Beady eyes narrowed behind his thick rimmed glasses.
Richard shrugged, “Sorry, I must’ve zoned out.” He was thinking more about his gym session earlier that day instead of paying attention to whatever nerdy movie Thomas picked, “I’m just not feeling it today.”
Richard and Thomas were friends since middle school. Both unapologetically nerdy, each surviving their fair share of bullying. But while Richard’s interests in fitness blossomed, Thomas remained entrenched in all things nerdy.
“You’re never feeling it anymore.” Thomas lamented, “I’m worried about you.” He looked at his friend closely, “Are you becoming like them? One of those stupid, smelly meatheads?” Richard knew Thomas never approved of his new friends- especially since many of them gave off the same vibes as their former bullies.
“Thomas, look.” Richard started, “I just... We’re obviously very different people now.”
“Not true! We both study Biochemistry! We’re both applying to graduate school in a few months!” Thomas interjected.
“Yeah, but Thomas, I’ve changed. I don’t really like superheroes and Battle Monsters and all that stuff anymore.” Richard sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I mean, its fun from time to time, but you’re obsessed with it.”
“Obsessed?”
Richard nodded, “Look, I need to get going. I have an exam.” He grabbed his backpack and started towards the door.
“Is that how it’s going to be?” Thomas yelled, “So you think you’re better than me too? Just like all those stupid jocks, right?” Thomas continued, “Fine, if you want to be a stupid, smelly jock so bad, go for it! Don’t come crying to me!”
“Whatever.” Richard said, “See you around.”
_________
Richard worked through his thermodynamics exam with ease. It became such a mindless activity that his thoughts wandered to Thomas. They had been close for years. And Thomas gave him an outlet for some of his more nerdier interests. Sure, he wasn’t as interested in all that nerd stuff like he was back in middle school, but Richard did value the time he spent with Thomas. He frowned. Maybe he was just a bit too harsh. He’d apologize once he got done with his exam. But as he continued to write down the answers to these complex questions, he felt something welling up from within him. Something physical... something...
BUUUUURRRRPPPPP
Richard’s eyes widened and he quickly covered his mouth. He felt his cheeks flush red and looked around the room, noticing a few looks of disgust, as well as a few snickers from some of his classmates.
“Richard?” The professor said, looking up from her book.
“Yo, my bad dude.” Richard’s eyes widened, as did the professor’s, “Whoa, brah! Didn’t mean to say that!” His face reddened even more.
“Richard, please focus on your test.” She said sternly.
He nodded, trying to tune out the snickers from his surrounding classmates, ‘What the fuck was that?’ He thought to himself, trying to regain his composure, ‘Okay... just focus.’
But as he stared at the problems on his exam, he noticed small drops of water appearing on his paper. He raised an eyebrow as more drops appeared on his test, smudging his work.
“What the...?” He whispered, “Sweat?” He rubbed a hand across his forehead, “What the fuck?” He said aloud, again disrupting the class.
“Richard!” The professor slammed her book down.
“Dude, just back off.” Richard snapped back. He heard a few audible gasps from his fellow students and his face flushed red, “Bro, that came out wrong. I don't get why I'm sounding like this, bro.” His face flushed red again and he suddenly stood up and headed towards the door, “I gotta take a breather.” He said. But as he approached the door he could feel the same heaviness in his stomach, “No, no no... buuuuuuuuurrrrrpppppppp.”
He slammed the door behind him, and fled from the classroom.
_________
Richard walked across campus as fast as he could. He needed to get back to his apartment as soon as possible. Or maybe to a doctor. But wherever he went, he just needed to be somewhere private. The young man wiped some sweat from his brow and cringed.
“No way dude, I’m like a waterfall.” He whispered, “Oh fuck, look at my pits.” Dark pit stains rapidly formed beneath his arms and continued to grow larger. Richard stopped in his tracks and raised his arms, taking a deep whiff of his own stench, “Huhuhuh that’s ripe, dude.” He chuckled to himself. It was the judgmental stares of nearby students that broke him out of his train of thought, “I’m sorry!” He whispered, blushing deeply, “I didn’t mean to... burrrrppppppppp.” His face reddened even more.
“Haha nice one bro!” A nearby jock laughed.
“Yeah dude! Been dropping bombs all day.” Richard replied with a grin. He quickly shook his head and ran towards his dorm room, ignoring the jock's attempt for a fist bump.
_________
Richard slammed the door to his dorm room shut and threw his backpack across the room. At this point, he didn’t know what to do. His shirt had soaked through from his sweat and a new manly musk was clinging to his sweaty body.
“Okay, I just gotta go to an urgent care.” Richard whispered.
He walked over to his dresser to change his shirt, and he quickly stripped out of his soaked t-shirt. But when he looked down at his body, something wasn’t right.
“Yo dude, since when did I get abs?” Richard mumbled, “Oh shit, look at my boulders.” He rubbed a hand across his large shoulders, giving them a squeeze and chuckling dumbly, “Huhuhuh why do I need a shirt?” He flexed his bicep and watched as it bulged with strength, “Woah fuck look at that!” He watched as his bicep seemed to get a bit larger too, “Dude... that’s buuuuuuurrppppppp.” Richard chuckled, “Fuckin’ new protein powder. Makin’ my gassy as fuck.”
His plans to visit an Urgent Care were quickly leaving his mind. Instead, he continued to focus on his various poses, and amused himself with each growing muscle. Richard walked over to the couch and fell back onto it, grabbing his phone and posting a new picture of himself on his social media. All the white, he absentmindedly scratched as his massive chest, which was starting to sprout a light dusting of hairs. He grinned as various likes started appearing on his picture, and he felt his cock start to grow. He grabbed his massive cock and started stroking it, moaning with each tug.
“Fuck yeah.” He moaned, “Fuck people would be lucky to ride this dick.” He grinned, “Dick’s dick huhuhuh.” A knock at his door broke his concentration and he groaned with disappointment. His cock remained tented in his pants, but he didn’t care. He opened the door, casually scratching his hairy pit, “Oh fuck, Thomas dude! What’s up?”
Thomas grinned, “Richard?” He asked, “Wow.”
“Impressed broski? And don’t call me Richard. More of a Richy.” Richy grinned, “Come in, bro! Look, I’m like totally sorry about earlier. All that nerd stuff that you like. Didn’t mean to be a dick about it.”
“You don’t have to worry, Richy. You made it quite clear that you’re not a nerd anymore.” Thomas chuckled, “You wanted to be a stupid jock, well now you are.”
Richy raised an eyebrow, “Stupid jock?” Something about that wasn’t right. Stupid jock? The words kept echoing in his head, “Stupid jock?” He repeated again, scratching his head, “That’s not... I...” Richy grabbed his head and looked at his friend. For just a second, the dull, dumb look in Richy’s eye was replaced by a knowing intelligence. A horrific realization evident in them. But it quickly lost its spark and his eyes dulled, “Huhuhuh yeah, I guess I’m pretty stupid. But doesn’t really matter when you’ve got this.” He grabbed his bulge and smirked, “Dude, you see that pic I posted? You think I could make it on OnlyFans?”
Thomas nodded, “Yes, I think you could. But I ought to go.”
“No wait bro!” Richy said, blocking his path to the door, “I mean... I know you always say you hate jocks. But its ‘cause you’re into us, right bro?” Thomas’s face reddened, betraying his secret, “So like...” Richy smirked and walked up to Thomas, who’s own khakis were now tented, “You wanna star in my first OnlyFans vid?”
_________
Richy stretched his hands above his head and sniffed his ripe pits. His dick twitched at the smell and he grinned. It’d been a few weeks since he posted his first video to OnlyFans. And yet here he was again, rewatching his first video: “buff jock fucks gay nerd.” Without fail, it always made his dick hard. And even though he posted several more videos since then, he always found himself coming back to this one. But even a masterpiece gets dull and Richy pulled out his phone. He ignored several horrified texts from his parents asking why he dropped out of school, as well as deleting multiple invites to interview for grad programs, whatever those were. Instead he found Thomas’s contact info.
“Hey bro.” He messaged, “Be at my place ASAP.” He took a quick selfie and threw in a few eggplant emojis to get his point across.
Afterwards, he tossed his phone somewhere on his bed. He didn’t need to see Thomas’s response. Sure he was stupid, be he did know one thing. No one, especially not Thomas, could resist this dick. And the knock on his door not even ten minutes later was all the confirmation he needed.
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what century are we talking here because people bathed (and more importantly *washed*) a lot more than twice a decade for a very very very long portion of history, and in fact did so quite commonly, every few days iirc in medieval times, and while they weren't as big as in rome, they were still a pretty big thing until about the 16th century, bc of, yknow, the catholic church and they got associated with brothels and whatnot
like, in the general medieval times you could basically be prescribed with taking a bath if you were feeling unwell, as they believed it served as a sort of reset for your body (and they were right tbh, bath will fix many ailments lmao) And alongside that, it was really just a not uncommon part of treatment. Reading the trotula (a collection of 3 manuscripts relating to health and beauty), in the medical section, a number of treatments given had the person take a bath as part of said treatment.
and even if you didn't take a bath bath that doesn't mean they didn't clean themselves! sponge baths are things! even if you took a bath only once a month you'd still wipe yourself clean with a tub of water, soap, and a cloth!
they also very much had skincare. again, looking to the trotula, the 3rd manuscript is all about cosmetics. (one of the first things mentioned there is to take a bath, or steambath, they had saunas then still) they had hair cleansers, hair powders, and a variety of other hair treatments, over twenty in this one manuscript. They also had face masks, oil, creams, i needn't go on
Their teeth care was also not horrific either like you'd be led to believe, like, they believed that bad smell = disesase, and they weren't entirely wrong in a way, but as such, bad breath was something people did try to avoid. hazel twigs were a not uncommon thing to use, and they could combine it with powdered salt and clove for a bit more abrasiveness (miswak is a very similar thing from the mustard tree still used today) (also there wasn't nearly as much sugar in foods then as now which would have helped a lil)
can't speak entirely on the water thing but like, again, they weren't stupid they just didn't have the same level of tech and knowledge as we do now. they knew dirty water was bad, they just didn't know the exact reason why. the only reason i could think as to why they would have ever drank such is 1. they didn't know it was contaminated (a more likely problem when living in a city, they did try to keep the polluting things downstream for obvious reasons but one can only do so much) 2. they had no choice (things happen, war, drought, you'll take what you can get)
#i've been doing a lot of research on medieval times lately and i can stand no longer these misconceptions#can't speak for the renaissance period and later#ik it got pretty bad at some points likely due to industrialization and a rapidly growing population that the city wasn't really ready for#but i'm sure people *did* still try to be clean. no worse than just a few decades ago in america with all the gunk in that one river#whether you'd have pimples or not would probably be similar to today. some people have em some don't with or without care#but also yeah just tell the painter (probably didn't have to) to not include said blemishes#and ik the twice a decade was being dramatic but yknow#modern history tv on youtube has a lot of good medieval stuff#the guy is an actual knight too which is pretty cool#and he tries out all the stuff he talks about too#''what were medieval attitudes towards sex'' by history hit was pretty interesting as well specially about the bathing#i would also like to make a disclaimer that most of what i'm saying applies to like mid-late medieval era in part bc more information#and i was focusing more on around 13th-15th century#we have such an incorrect idea of people back then it's crazy#people have always been people! and people like to be clean and not sick!#anyway thanks for reading my rant <3
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How to ACTUALLY date a trans girl
(This column was originally submitted to Autostraddle as a reply to their "A Trans Guy’s Guide to Picking Up a Trans Girl" but since they've apparently passed on it, it gets to be posted up free everywhere else instead.) Picture this- you’re a trans woman who’s been in transition for three years now. Your dating life has gone from abysmal to amazing in alternate fits and spurts and you’ve found not just one, but three awesome partners despite the many, MANY pitfalls you’ve experienced along the way. And then one day, your social media feeds ping up with screencaps of a guide to picking up girls like yourself. Needing a good laugh, you click through. And read. And proceed to smack your forehead with your own palm in frustration a few times and giggle and some other lines on the first readthrough. But things feel off, so you read again. And begin to seethe. And then start opening up the Word document and start typing frenziedly into it. Because honestly? At the end of the day, as a trans lesbian who dates all sorts of people on non-male parts of the amorphous spectral mass that is Gender, I feel like I’m obligated to. I wanted to go into that first reading and find a column that actually got things right, and this was so far off the mark in the worst ways, so I feel like I have to set some things down on paper. Because this guide reads, in so many ways, like everything my cisfem friends have complained about in the straight dating scene for years. Reading through it that second time, I felt almost the exact same sense of of sheer grease and sleaze that I’ve felt reading incel pickup guides. I felt like I was being seen as a pretty object at best and a disposable sex toy at worst. I wasn’t treated as human. At best it was a bunch of stereotypes, none of which applied to me. But under it all, I saw other bits- the tricks an abuser used to lure me in. The lies my rapist fed me. The excuses made by folks online for why I should be treated like a monster or thing because of my identity. You know, the specific blend of misogyny that singles out transfem identities in general- transmisogyny. And since we’re addressing the elephant in the room, I want to address a few particular points from Gabe’s article before I give you some real idea of how to go about this. And I want to emphasize here- this is after editing out a page of swearing, going over Gabe’s own past history of transmisogynistic writing, and just cutting it down to the actual points where the original article really went wrong, and also pick up a few points at the end that’ll actually work well for trans guys or anyone else who might be interested in a relationship with a trans girl. First off, if you’re trans as well? Stop playing the ‘we’re both trans’ card. ESPECIALLY if you’re coming at it from a ‘Why yes, I used to be a woman’ angle. For one, you’re telling us at the same time that you see us as former men, which is usually very much not the transfem experience (Personally, I always felt like I was putting on a ‘man’ act. All the time. Badly.) and for another, you’re being transphobic to yourself and your own identity. If we’re there to date you, it’s as the man you are- be that guy.
Secondly, just because the trans woman experience shares similarities with the experience you had trying to be a woman up until you came out and transitioned, it also has staggering fundamental differences, and your attempts to relate are going to highlight those differences in ways that aren’t going to work in your favor. We didn’t get to go shopping in public, or if we did, it was fraught with fear at being caught out in the early stages of transition, followed by massive frustrations with both trying to figure out where we fit into women’s sizing. And then discovering that absolutely nothing available in local stores, including thrift shops, would fit right, especially not that cute choker we’d always been drooling over. That nothing smelled right for lotion or perfume because we were dealing with a body chemistry that was going through a slow shift on HRT. And we don’t need or want to be reminded of just how much we stand out from the other girls in those kind of regards.
Also, maybe, just maybe, don’t do things that would get seen as completely misogynistic and creepy if you pulled them on a cisgender woman. Don’t go digging into her socials- stalkers and chasers pull that crap and it’s beyond tiresome. Don’t try to deduce what her pretransition life was like, that’s for her to share, if she chooses to. Don’t see her as a stereotype- some of us never played New Vegas, owned cat ears, or like thigh-highs. On that first date if you ever get there, don’t bring her flowers, lovebomb her like mad, constantly find little ways to touch her, any of that- if she has any experience, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop in response, because she’s had this treatment before and it ended oh so badly. Just be yourself. And get it through your head that the bear is still definitely a choice regardless of everything- after all, we have examples like Gabe to prove that transmisogyny certainly isn’t limited to cis folks.
What should you do? Treat her like any other woman. Treat her like a human being, because we get so little of that, even from the rest of the LGBTQIA+ community. Yes, you’ll more than likely have to take initiative, because we’re used to seeing our attractions, needs, and desires as being perceived as aggressive or predatory by others. When you touch her, do it with assertion and intent- none of the little brushes and stalker moves- ask if you can hold her hand, or put an arm around her, so she knows you actually want to be here and want contact with her. Listen to her, and pay attention- let her be open and honest about her experiences and interests, and remember what she tells you, because she’s going to need to know that she’s wanted and valued for who she is and what she’s into, and it will be part of how she connects to you. And finally? Common sense and communication- every last one of us is different in a lot of ways, and asking or making room to talk about things from physical contact and sex to social activity or group outings or anything else can save a lot of blunders from ever happening. All in all you can and should date trans women! Please! A lot of the best relationships I’ve ever had were with other trans girls and I don’t regret any of those. But you have to put down the pickup guides, stop seeing us as fetish dispensers and sexy lampshades, and actually deal with us as people, first.
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Sometimes, you’re a comedian with a touring show to promote, so you do an interview with a regional newspaper.
I think that’d be the funniest possible time to reveal a big scoop, wouldn’t it?
Stewart Lee is currently touring, and to promote his Yeovil performance, gave an interview to Blackmore Vale Magazine. According to Wikipedia, the Blackmore Vale is an area of north Dorset, south Somerset and southwest Wiltshire. According to the comedian Jake Baker, the magazine would cover his school sports day as he grew up in Dorset. That’s the level of news you’d expect.
The questions are friendly and easy, from a journalist clearly familiar with Lee’s work and history.
The first question is about the show’s angle. Lee describes the nature of the show, and here’s an excerpt:
So it looks like stand-up, and sounds like stand-up, but it’s actually a kind of character piece about a desperate person who’s frightened and trying to organise the world in a way that puts them in control. And I guess you could argue that’s what a lot of stand-ups are doing anyway. Ricky Gervais to me looks like a very frightened man. He’s frightened of transgender people coming after him, the act is a defensive wall.
Fun! This is a Ricky Gervais hate blog, so it’s nice to see a sudden, unexpected attack in an unrelated promotional interview.
Lee mentions Gervais again in response to question four.
Sometimes I become bitter and think ‘I get all this good press, why can’t I get 10 million quid for a TV special like Ricky Gervais?’ But on the other hand, I wouldn’t want that audience, it wouldn’t allow me to be better.
And then again to question eight, where Lee explains why he spends six months running new shows in the relatively small Leicester Square Theatre (as opposed to arena comics who might do 10 warmup shows followed by 60 tour dates).
You can still run it like a club gig, you can interact with people in real time. Also, you wouldn’t get better at the show because you wouldn’t have done it as many times. You can see this with an act like Gervais. Those shows have not been run in, they’re not fluid, they’re a succession of inflexible statements that would snap like twigs if the pressure of an unforeseen event was applied to them.
The journalist finally addresses this head on. It really is worth reading the entire article - there’s a lot more than I’m quoting, including an interesting story about Sean Lock:
But here are my favourite bits:
[Gervais] still kind of copies me though, which is the weird thing. There’s still a lot of cadences of what I do but they’re used in the service of evil. In Star Wars, he’s Darth Vader and he’s taken the force, which is me, and used it for evil purposes. He was a fanboy, he was actually the booker at University of London and used to book me and Sean Lock all the time. And when he became famous for the Office, he wrote an hour-long act that was so indebted to us it was awkward. [...] If he’d come up through the circuit that would have been rubbed off him because you find your own voice doing club gigs. It took me two years of gigging five nights a week to come through the mesh of things I liked. But he didn’t have that experience in the same way. [...] Funnily enough, in his first show there were bits I’d never recorded that he’d do almost verbatim. He’d clearly remembered them. I went to see him at the Bloomsbury – on his invitation actually – with my then girlfriend and she was very concerned for me. I’d given up at that point due to lack of interest, and she was concerned for what it felt like to see my act being done to hundreds of people, it was quite weird. On the other hand, that sort of did make me think I don’t want it to be consumed into someone else’s vocabulary. And also, I think because he had a residual sense of guilt, he would always credit me in interviews as being an influence – that helped me in 2004 to get the audience back.
This is, to my knowledge, the first time Lee’s ever claimed that Gervais stole his material. He’s certainly talked about Gervais clearly taking influence from him (though in the past, he downplayed this compared to the account given in this interview).
It’s a pretty big thing to accuse a comic of stealing material. That’s a big taboo. I reckon this is partly because Lee wants to discourage fans of Gervais from coming to the show.
Anyway, let’s finish by quoting the end of the interview:
It must be strange to have that level of financial remuneration and those audience figures but not really a single good review. And I expect what that does for you is create a cognitive dissonance where you have to manufacture a worldview by which the whole world is wrong and you’re right. Which can’t necessarily be very good for your mental health, although I expect the money’s nice.
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Delayed
AN: I have been wanting to write about this hair since Super, and now I finally have the motivation and time. Super Jeonghan, you will always be famous to me. The Jeonghan brainworms are very severe right now.
Synopsis: Tonight is arguably one of the important dinners in the kingdom's history. It could make or break relations with the Wen family. Your husband, however, is much more interested in dragging you to bed than building political alliances at the moment.
General tags and warnings: Yoon Jeonghan x Fem! Reader, established relationship, implied arranged marriage, hinted at former enemies to lovers, extremely vague historical AU, royalty AU and there is zero plot here.
Smut tags and warnings: dirty talk, fingering (f. receiving), Reader gets edged once, petnames, having children gets brought up once and it's mostly a joke, nipple and breast play (f. receiving), handjob (m. receiving), piv sex without a condom and creampie.
Word count: 2.5k.
I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.
“Your brother is going to lecture our ears off if we're late,” you remind Jeonghan, trying your best not to lose yourself in the way his hands drag along your sides and the way he breathes in your freshly washed hair.
“Who cares what Joshua thinks?” he mutters dismissively into your neck, leaving goosebumps in his wake, “I'd much rather spend my evening with you instead of at that dinner filled with people I can't stand,” he finishes off, teasing the hem of your robe with his long fingers.
“As sweet of a sentiment as that is, we have guests from the Wen family visiting. We can't just not show up,” you argue, still remaining in his arms and shuddering when his lips press against the exposed skin of your shoulder. You bite back a whimper when one of his hands continues to trail higher up your thigh, pushing the fabric of your robe out of the way as much as he can to expose as much of your skin as possible to his scorching touch. Jeonghan is arguably the smartest man you know. Hell, you'd go as far as to say he's the smartest man in the nation. You're well aware he's just trying to sway you right now but, you can't pretend he's not being very convincing right now.
“You've got me there,” he concedes but, his hand doesn't slow in the slightest, “We'll just be a little late, that's all,” he whispers and you swear you've never heard a more tempting offer in your life. It's so much worse when he spins you around to face him. As though you weren't feeling dizzy and lightheaded enough. The lust in his eyes shines brighter than the moon outside of your bedroom window. The charcoal one of his servants applied around them amplifies his want that causes your own desire to flare up viciously. And to think, a year ago you couldn't stand this man and struggled to imagine yourself liking him in any capacity.
How things have changed.
“You're a terrible influence,” is all you say before pulling him by his own robe and smashing your lips together. You resist the impulse to roll your eyes when you feel him chuckle against your lips. Fortunately, his hands do a fantastic job of distracting you from his smugness. Nimble fingers untying the knot at the front of your robe with practiced ease. It doesn't quite pool around you but, it does grant your husband all the access he needs. Warm hands wasting no time in kneading and massaging as much of your tits as he's able to. Groaning into your mouth when he feels your hardened nipples underneath his palms.
“They can't be mad at us for being late anyway,” he mumbles against your lips, “They've been harassing us for an heir for months now. We're just fulfilling our royal duties.” You laugh harder than you anticipate. Your laughter doesn't deter Jeonghan, though. His attention simply shifts to kissing along your jaw and running his hands along your body as though this is the first time he's touching you. As though he didn't have those same hands on you this morning. Out of everything you've learned about him these last few months, his seemingly bottomless lust has caught you the most by surprise.
“You're ridiculous,” you finally manage to say once you've calmed down sufficiently, allowing your fingers to play with the ends of his hair while his mouth reacquaintes itself with your neck. “Am I wrong?” He asks brazenly, briefly shooting you a look that's equal parts exasperated and knowing before continuing with his very important task of mapping your body with as much of his lips and hands as possible.
“No, you're not,” you concede, letting him pull you towards your ridiculously ornate bed, “but, you're not doing a great job of trying to sway me into believing you suddenly care about your royal duties,” you say with a smile that hurts your face a little. “What? A man can't change his mind?” He asks with faux seriousness.
“He can but, maybe he should change it another time. Not when we're meant to be getting dressed for a dinner that's very important for the future of our kingdom,” you muse, joining him on your silk sheets and letting him palm your thighs and litter your collarbone with messy kisses. “We'll make it,” he says with so much certainty that you really can't find it within yourself to disagree or argue with him. Especially not when his hand is making its way up your inner thigh, “We just have to be quick and efficient, that's all.”
Jeonghan doesn't give you much time to digest his words. Dragging you into another impassioned kiss while his fingers brush your delicate folds. He swallows your quiet gasps eagerly. Devouring every sound the swipes and presses of his fingers pluck from you. “I tho–thought you said we had to hurry,” you whine when he continues to toy with you. His touches far too light and far too quick, not allowing you a second to savour them. “You're right, you're right. My apologies.” He has the nerve to chuckle into your mouth but, any snark you're about to unleash on him is forgotten instantaneously when he finally presses his fingertips to your clit with enough pressure to make your eyes flutter and your hands fist his robe.
“Han–Hannie,” you whimper, allowing yourself to get lost in his skilled fingers and mouth. The thought of political dinners completely vanished from your mind. His mouth finds its way to your neck, kissing along your jugular before descending to your collarbone. You're certain that he could kiss every part of you over and over and over again and it would still never be enough for him. He pushes two fingers into you at the same time that he latches onto your hardened nipple. Dark eyes watching you under his lashes as his mouth draws breathy gasps of his name (well, attempts of his name) and his fingers gradually open you up for him.
Not one to be outdone, you find enough coherence to palm him through his undergarments. Pride swelling in your chest when you feel his fingers falter and his quiet groan pressed into your skin. He's already so hard and the urge to sit on him and swallow his cock to its hilt grips you violently. So violently in fact that it doesn't take much more prompting for you to slip your hand into his undergarments and grasp him directly. Your walls squeezing around his fingers in time with the way he pulses in your hand.
“You're going to be the death of me,” he hisses, finding his composure rather quickly (because of course he does) and curling his fingers inside you in the way he knows will make stars dance in your vision. Frankly, you wouldn't be shocked if he was a warlock because the reactions he pulls from you are not normal in the slightest. “You ah started all of th–this,” you remind him, gradually stroking him and delighting in the way his cock throbs in your palm with every movement. It's always lovely to be reminded that he's just as far gone for you as you are for him.
Jeonghan chooses not to respond. Electing instead to increase the intensity of the way his fingers curl inside of you and covering your breasts in kisses while he shallowly thrusts into your hand. It's all messy and barely coordinated but, you find the tension in your core building. Every brush of your clit, every touch of his fingers, every kiss and lick of his mouth just pushes you closer and closer to the edge. You're sure he can feel the way your thighs quiver and the lack of focus you're able to provide to his slick cock in your hand. It's so close that you can practically taste it.
And just like that, Jeonghan pulls his drenched fingers out of you.
You're not sure when your eyes shut but, they fly open within an instant. Shooting your husband with a look that you're sure is equal parts betrayal and frustration. You can't help the way your hips jolt, searching for any sort of stimulation. Instinctively looking for anything to help ease the fluttering of your walls and the incessant pulse of your clit.
“Jeonghan.”
He does at least look a little ashamed but, not enough for your liking. You can still see the amusement too clearly in his eyes. “I'm sorry, love,” he doesn't sound sorry in the slightest, “You know I can't help myself sometimes,” he says with an upturn of his lips that makes your stomach twist horribly and your ache between your thighs worsen. “Let me make it up to you,” he offers, maneuvering his way between your thighs before you can blink and recognise he's no longer in your grasp. Gods, you know his hair is going to be ruined by the time the two of you are finished but, you truly hope not. He's looked otherworldly before but, seeing him from this angle is an entirely different experience altogether. You've got to slip his servants a generous amount of gold coins in thanks.
His kiss is gentle this time. A stark contrast to the way you can feel his tip prodding at your dripping, eager entrance. “I love you,” he sighs before pushing into you and, you really don't think that's all that fair. You really did marry a dirty trickster of a man. “Always so eager and ready for me,” he continues, his voice hoarse with desire as he finds his pace and all you can do is cling to his back for some form of grounding, “My beautiful, lovely, brilliant, erotic wife,” he grits out, one of his hands gripping your hip fiercely.
It's hard to think of anything other than his gorgeous face twisted in the most arousing expressions you've ever seen in your life and the way his cock drags along the deepest, most intimate parts of you. You knew you were close before but, a few thrusts already have you dangerously teetering on the edge. “You're so unfair,” you gasp out while he focuses his attention on nipping at your throat while twisting and tugging at your nipples with those stupidly skilled fingers of his.
“Unfair?” He laughs breathlessly, meeting your lidded gaze with his own, “Maybe you shouldn't have seduced me with that flimsy robe of yours,” he argues. The following snap of his hips is sharp and you can't really find it in you to respond. Grasping his own robe for purchase as the tension in your core begins to reach a fever pitch. “How was I meant to stop myself when you looked like that?” He rasps into your ear and you think it's deeply unfair how many of your weaknesses he's learned and, is using against you. He chuckles into your skin when all you're able to reply with are choked gasps and whines of his name. You can feel him smile into you when you jolt just as he presses his fingers to your swollen clit. Not giving you a chance to collect yourself before he rubs circles into you that cause your thighs to shake violently and your walls to tighten around him.
“You wanted to cum, right?” His tone is teasing and you swear you hate him. It's difficult to speak when you can practically taste your climax with every touch of his fingers and stroke of his cock, “I want you to,” he breathes, a touch of desperation to his tone, “I want to feel it when you do. Want to feel you cum all over me, all around me,” he whispers straight into your ear and you can already feel the beginnings of electricity shooting down your spine, “I need to.”
You're not sure what causes the cord to snap entirely. His cock? His fingers? His words? His voice? Him? You're not sure it really matters, ultimately. Your breaths turn to gasps and whimpers moans of his name while your thighs quiver around his slender hips. Every extremity tingling with the lightning you can feel coursing through you as Jeonghan continues his movements even through your mind numbing orgasm. You're too lost in a daze to make out what he's saying but, the bleary vision of him with his carefully styled hair sticking to his sweaty face and his smeared, charcoal liner make your stomach swoop all the same.
“–beautiful you are,” are the rushed words you do manage to catch just as his grip on your hips grows harsher and his face morphs in pleasure. Jeonghan's stamina is impressive. Another aspect of him that you never quite expected. And usually, you'd be more than happy to let him continue making love to you until you both pass out but, you both have duties to attend to.
Jeonghan isn't the only one who has picked up a trick or two over the course of your marriage.
Using what little energy you have left, you wrap your arms around him. Jeonghan lets you pull him closer to you, his breath stuttering when you intentionally clench your walls around him and drag your fingernails along the parts of scalp that aren't covered in hair clips. “Hannie,” you add an extra bit of whine in your voice, reveling in the way you feel him shudder and his cock throb inside of you, “Love you, Hannie.” He makes a noise you barely register before kissing you fiercely and holding you in place as he snaps his hips faster and faster, his blunt nails digging into your skin and your kiss being more tongue and spit than anything else.
You're not sure what pushes him over the edge but, it's not long before he moans long and quietly into your mouth and you feel his cock shoot rope after rope of his release into you. The warmth that fills you is familiar and just so him that you can't help the soft whines that fall from your lips as you feel him ride out his climax. You can tell he's trying his best to not just collapse onto you but, the shakiness in his arms is evident and he's practically on you already. A small laugh bubbles out of you and you can't help but, smile when he shoots you a curious look.
“What?” He asks, running his thumb along the marks his nails left on your hip.
“You can rest on me if you want to, beloved husband,” your face hurts from how much you're smiling. You must look insane, “You won't crush me.”
Either he's just as insane as you are or he shares your bizarre sense of elation right now because he smiles right back at you before responding, “I thought we had a dinner to attend?” You decide to ignore how attractive he looks with his eyebrow raised.
“We're already running late anyway. What's a few more minutes?”
He really has become a terrible influence.
Reblogs are greatly appreciated.
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Seventeen Masterlist | Ko-Fi
#yoon jeonghan x reader smut#jeonghan x reader smut#seventeen x reader smut#yoon jeonghan smut#jeonghan smut#seventeen smut
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—ATLAN TREIN
All information on Atlan Trein ATM! Will most likely be updated ☆
—MORE UNDER CUT
BASIC INFORMATION:
Class: 2-A
Birthday: February 12th
Height: 179cm
Dominant Hand: Right
From: Land of Pyroxene / Shaftlands
Club: None
Favorite Subject: Music
Best Subject: History of Magic
Likes: Making friends
Dislikes: Being called “Mommy’s Boy”
Favorite Food: Bread
Least Favorite Food: Pumpkin
Speciality: Getting people interested in drama
GALLERY:
VOICE CLAIM:
CALLING HOME…
— Pomefiore Dorms - Atlan’s Room —
[VOICEMAIL BEGIN]
…Moooom, I know it’s kind of late, so I’m sending in a voicemail, but— You can listen to this in the morning while you get ready, right?
I know it’s only the first day of this school year but please, can you just give me permission to go home or something?!
I don’t wanna be here anymore! Just take me back home! I’m not learning anything new at this school. Sure, the drama and gossip is kind of interesting, but, ugh, it gets old really fast.
—N-Not that I’m the one spreading it around. Of course not! You could never expect that from your beloved son.
Uncle is already starting to freak me out, though. I swear whenever I looked up from my desk during history, either he or Lucius would be staring straight at me. He didn’t call you before me, right? Don’t tell me he did! I promise, I haven’t done anything—!
Ugh, not to mention, it’s just as hard to provide for myself as last year… I honestly think the lack of roommates is more of a con than anything. It makes it even harder to talk to people, tch.
…Like, I get that you want me to learn how to survive on my own, but seriously…? I don’t think being surrounded by all of these… what’s a word that’s not pleb but similar… Ah. Idiotic peers, is the right way to go about it.
Oh! I almost forgot the most important part about today. At the welcoming ceremony, there was a huge and giant fiasco. Apparently some person not from here crashed the ceremony. And no, not not from here as in Sage’s Island, I mean Twisted Wonderland! Isn’t that crazy? It would be funny if it was through time travel, hahaha!
They seemed quite out of it. Lost for words and confused. I think they even got caught on fire. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. I think I even heard house warden Vil critique them!
Ah— Sorry if that was a lot. You take a long while to apply your makeup anyways, right? It’s just that I don’t really have anyone here to talk to about this, and I’m quite bad at small talk, so…
You know.
…Well then. I love you. I hope I see you soon. And consider my request—!
Goodnight.
[VOICEMAIL END]
.
.
.
TRIVIA:
Atlan is twisted off of Anastasia from Cinderella!
Despite this, he isn’t Trein’s son. He’s his nephew. I figured it would be a little funnier this way.
Atlan isn’t exactly liked at NRC. To say the least, his entire personality is that he talks about other people. That’s it. Not in a praising way either— He’ll talk about whatever things he’s heard around. Hence, his ear for gossip.
His tie to Yuu would most likely stem from Yuu hearing that someone had been talking about them in a gossipy way, and therefore finding out who it was (because Yuu protection squad is a very real and scary thing). Either that or tracking him down because they think he might have information.
Atlan’s reasoning behind all his talk being rumors and topics about other people is because he’s not very good at socializing himself. He grew up a little sheltered with a bratty older sister who he’d always fight with. Lots of screaming and the such. Both of the siblings ended up being a little spoiled, and with some unbearable personalities, resulting in people not really wanting to become their friends.
The rest of his family didn’t seem to mind the fact that they weren’t as liked as others, but Atlan always sort of wanted to find out a way to reach out. To have friends and see what the normal person’s life would be. However, due to the lack of support, every time he attempted to reach for his goal, it would end up in failure. Nobody to correct his behavior, and nobody who would try to help him understand himself.
His mother, noticing this behavior of his, decided that the best course of action would to be to send him off by himself to a school filled to the brim with other people his age, who he could learn to interact with— Night Raven College.
But you would guess, something like that doesn’t go well for a boy who depended on his mother and her money for comfort.
Like a fish on land, Atlan tries his best to be open and talk to people, but upon becoming independent, he realizes that he doesn’t really have much going for him. And as people got to know him, he felt as if they were right— He’s nothing but a person who trash talks people and brags about his money.
He cracks under pressure easily when the atmosphere is awkward, and has no idea how to go about small talk. Atlan isn’t the best person to tell your secrets to, as he’ll probably end up using it as a conversation starter.
Atlan has an oresama air to him, but he really just wants to be part of the crowd rather than someone alienated for something he doesn’t know how to navigate. Maybe one day he’ll find the right crowd to surround himself with. A helping hand to guide him. But for now, he’s stuck, enrolled in NRC under his mother’s word.
More to be added!
#atlan trein#ashi’s ocs ♡#HE EXISTS? KY BOY? ATLAN EXISTS????#he’s defo Not as fleshed out as niko but he sure does exist#he’s so funny to put in situations. sopping wet guy who will get offended w everything#his sprite was so fun tho. his hair and his pants!!!!#but also his va was SUCH a struggle#it honestly is not what I had in mind for him like at all but it’s so hard to find the tone of voice I wanted + the deepness#sssso. haha#it may change! probs#he needs friends so bad tho. he’s such a loser save me#BUT YEAH!!! I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE HIM. HES SILLIES#aaanyway#twst#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#disney twst
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the way you write is so beautiful... tips for somebody new to writing who wants to write like you?
YOU are so beautiful, thank you so much! im not sure about any tips i have, but ill give it a shot. these are what i personally believe to have been the most important things:
find your wavelength my writing became a lot more stylized and personalized after i found an author that i resonated with, as well as a couple of themes. it just helps to know what you are actually interested in writing in, versus what you think other people would like to read. im personally interested in writing about relationships and dynamics, so my writing will always be more character than action driven. also, it helps, because youre always going to end up writing what you want to write, even in the smallest of ways, so why not embrace it fully? write what you want to read. otherwise, you wont have fun. and writing is SO MUCH FUN. knowing what youre into and what youre trying to channel gives you a really strong basis for all of your writing - not only will it take time for you to find your wavelength, meaning that youll have to expose yourself to many different genres and authors, which is a must, youll always be able to look back at that ONE creative piece and grab some motivation from it.
expose and explore creativity is everywhere - tv shows, movies, books, fanfics, comics, art, architecture, history (!!!), mythology, sports, reality - literally everywhere you can think of. dont wait for inspiration because its everywhere if you look hard enough. familiarize yourself with the seven basic plots, the thirty-six dramatic situations, basic foreshadowing elements, and other essentials. this isnt something to study or memorize, just to KNOW - its good to be aware of the foundations of literature.
embrace the brainrot and maintain a balance become obsessed w your own ocs, your own plots, your own everything. be your own biggest fan. to enter an abusive relationship with your own work is extremely upsetting, because youre doing wrong by the wonderful world youve made, and doing wrong by that part of you that just wants to be creative, too - and if that happens, its probably because you arent writing what you want to write, or controlling what doesnt want to be controlled. let your characters be individuals, let them go where they want to go, just follow and note what theyre doing. sometimes writing is a passive activity rather than active creation, and thats okay! thats when you know youve built a solid world that can run by itself and you just contribute to. that being said, while theres nothing quite like the hours spent ravenously typing, you need to find a balance. you are as important as your work, because without you, the work wouldnt exist. i also reccomend forcing yourself NOT to write on specific days. some ideas need to marinate, and some people need to rest.
i hope this was helpful <;3 if you ever need more help (and this also applies to those reading), feel free to reach out! im open to being a beta reader or just a brainstorming partner. lots of love!
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EXS AND OHS
summary : y/n and harry are recently engaged, but in y/n’s line of work, she runs into lots of his exs and their not all happy for the couple
warnings : just bitter people
harry’s dating history wasn’t exactly a secret, but the list of exs would come to a hault, as the 50,000 dollar diamond sat on y/n’s ring finger with pride. but y/n wasn’t exactly a nobody, she had two vouge covers and three world tours under her belt along with opening and closing fashion week malin, paris, and new york, and not to mention several blockbuster movies.
she was kind of a big deal.
but in her line of work, she had lots of run ins with her loves exs, and they weren’t always pleasant.
—
y/n was booked for victorias secrets comeback show, and she was a nervous wreck. her strict diet made harry worried sick, and her coworkers were starting to worry y/n.
“and you’re sure you want to come? i understand if you don’t—.” “—y/n i love you. i’m goin’ to be at everything for the rest of your life. even if my ex is there.” he assured with a kiss to her forehead. she sighed, and a week later found herself in hair and makeup getting ready to strut out like she was on top of the world.
“make sure to flash that ring okay? it’s been on covers for the past month.” her agent said, as she stared down the poor hair and makeup crew. y/n heard a distant scoff in the background but she chose to ignore it. “i thought for the show it had to come off?” y/n asked, she didn’t exactly want to part with it but she didn’t want to break any rules. “not when the one who gave it to you is harry styles. trust me, the show will be memorable because of the ring.” her agent scoffed with a few taps to her phone then back to insane staring.
just then, the busty, perfectly thin blonde, with small bronze chrome wings came walking around in lingerie. “the reason he never proposed to me is because his taste in rings never met my standards.” camllie gossiped to a fresh faced girl, clearly new-ish to the modeling world. y/n rolled her eyes and kept her thoughts to her self.
when y/n got out of hair and makeup she was draped in gold lingerie with diamonds dripping from the bra. it was for their anniversary line, and the bralette would only be sold to select clientele. the matching panties were gold as the metal brushed the modesty garment she wore. then large gold wings were applied, weighing less then she has anticipated.
“she’ll open, then jenner and rowe will follow ten paces behind, wait at the top of the runway and walk back before them.” a manager explained to y/n and her agent. y/n nodded before being moved to were she was directed, greeting kendall with a smile and hug.
“i haven’t seen you in forever!” kendall smiled and embraced her, the two went on a brand trip together before she got engaged and at the start of her and harry’s relationship and ended up sipping on margaritas and gossiping on a yacht the whole time. privileged and elite? sure, but they had a great time.
“i know, we have to do a trip just us.” y/n smiled, kendall was already grabbing her hand to see the ring. “god! he’s always had good taste but y/n this is gorgeous.” she gasped and looked between the ring and y/n. camille scoffed beside her. “please, the diamond has a blue tint. i doubt it’s even real.” camille rolled her eyes.
“it’s tinted blue because he chose to not stain it. he went water mining when we were in bali, someone helped him find it, and he chose to not stain it.” y/n clarified, just like that the lights cut and ariana grandes unmistakable vocals of dangerous woman was heard, y/n was counted off and she strutted out.
—
y/n would definitely say her least favorite job was acting. there was so much drama in almost every romance movie she’s filmed, so when she was casted as gwen for the fourth spider-man movie to bring a love triangle into poor spider-man’s life, she was excited that it would be an action movie even if she was playing a love interest.
that was of course until she figured out who would be working on the movie with her.
olivia wilde.
y/n tried to remain professional, tho it was difficult with tom seeing as he was so giggly about everything, and zendya was laughing about how forced tom looked. everything was more natural with tom and zendya tho, so to switch between his girlfriend and his friend must have been weird for tom, so y/n tried to keep that in mind and remind her it wasn’t her fault the scenes weren’t working the way she wanted them to.
however one of the directors did not agree.
“y/n, can you step off set for a moment.” olivia’s voice sounded, tom looked confused as did y/n before she stepped off set as she was asked and followed oliva nervously.
“is there an issue?” y/n asked. oliva scoffed, “of course there is. this scene should have taken four takes, max. we have over forty of you and tom laughing. if you can’t play a love interest we will have to find someone who can.” she scolded, y/n was slightly offended.
two actors that have never worked together, taking on a role in a movie where they’re meant to be navigating love together, is not easy. and their first kissing scene might take a few try’s, but that’s not enough to threaten y/n’s contract over.
“unfortunately you might want to check the contract marvel signed, this is not cause for termination, and you cannot terminate my contract period. but if you would like to submit a claim that i am unable to preform my required task, i will happily take that battle with management. i really don’t want to waste anyone’s time so should i head back to set or?” y/n looked at oliva innocently with a smirk, brushing her hair back so her ring caught the light.
“watch you back, l/n.”
“styles. but close.”
safe to say y/n reported that threat and oliva wasn’t heard from again.
—
“you look absolutely divine.” harry came up behind her, kissing the exposed skin on her neck from her half slicked wave, old hollywood hairstyle. y/n laughed as she looked at them in the mirror. harry, in his colorful sparkly patch work jumpsuit, and her in her all black,
a-symmetrical neckline of the all black floor length dress she wore. their two personalities showing on their faces. she was so excited for tonight, she had a good feeling about harry’s changes of the trophy.
“you ready to sweep tonight?” she asked, he blushed. “don’t jinx me, the grammys don’t tend to like me.” he said in a hushed voice, y/n rolled her eyes and kissed her husbands cheek deeply. “not this year. i can feel it.”
her words ended up being true, with harry’s complete sweep. he was overcome with emotion, and y/n sat with him through all of it. holding his hand and even kissing him when he induced it, which was rare seeing as he hated pda especially when cameras were around.
they had plans to skip the after party and go get a pizza with the band and team, then go home and celebrate like old people with sleep. however their plans were put to a hault when taylor swift approached. y/n, ever the swiftie, was sure she was about to pass out as she squeezed her fiancés hand.
“congratulations harry.” she smiled and hugged him briefly before turning back to y/n. “and your performance was amazing, i had no idea your range was so good?” taylor said, y/n’s eyes went wide and she nodded. “oh yeah- yeah thanks.” she tried to laugh it off and leaned into harry’s comforting touch, he tried to hold back a laugh and taylor could tell.
“i have a few ideas and i want you to be a part of it, here’s my number— new number—.” she glanced at harry. “—and call me, so we can start scheming.” she winked at y/n, who was definitely dead. “congrats again harry.” she patted his shoulder before turning around and going to find her other friends.
“holy shit.” y/n whispered as she clutched taylor swifts number. harry chuckled and kissed her, “we can call her in the morning yeah? pizza and sleep okay?” he said, only to be welcomed with a large kiss and a i love you.
four months later, here y/n was, doing her one night only with taylor fucking swift.
harry was sitting in the 1989 friends and family box, with gigi, zayne, and their daughter as they caught up. gigi made sure to comment on how harry’s all access pass said ‘STYLE MUSE’ instead of harry styles.
the concert was perfect, everything was amazing. after all, taylor was considered the one of the best performers of all time. then as she stayed on stage after her two surprise songs, fans cheered even louder than usual.
“i actually have something i want to give you guys.” fans bracelets began flashing blue as screams could almost shatter the stadium, taylor laughed.
“i think you guys noticed i skipped style tonight.” she smirked, louder screams were heard and y/n stood backstage in her light blue wide legged pants, and white satin top. waiting nervously for her cue as they adjusted her headset and in ear microphone.
“i also want to throw in just one more surprise song, just for you guys!l she said excitedly, but didn’t wait for the crowd to quiet as she used the mic to talk over them. “please welcome miss y/n styles!” she screamed, and the stadium screamed back as the beat to style began to play.
harry recorded like a proud husband and sang along to every word as he watched y/n dance around on stage, in her element to a song he inspired.
“you got that long hair slick back white t-shirt.” both the girls flicked part of their hair over to imitate harry back in one direction, and ran a hand from their neck down to their pelvis as they sung, then tossed one shoulder and strutted down the diamond like models. which y/n was, harry thought to himself.
style passed, the loudest cheer in the whole room came from harry. so happy to see the woman he loved getting to work with her idol and be so happy doing it.
“i think there’s one more that goes to perfectly with us, don’t you think taylor?” y/n asked, fighting back the happy tears in her eyes. taylor bit back a smile and nodded, “what do you think Los Angeles?” she asked, they screamed. and the beat to i think he knows began to play.
the girls sang and danced along with the crowd, harry didn’t know this song very well so he was hyper focused on making sure to get all of y/n’s performance while also watching her.
“he’s got that boyish look that i like in a man.” y/n sung, and stopped dancing as she looked at taylor.
“i am an architect i’m drawing up the plans.” taylor copied the movements.
“he’s so obsessed with me and boy i understand.” y/n flipped her hair jokingly, making sure to flash the ring before both girls turned to face each other taylor grabbing y/n’s hand to look at the ring before screaming the line; “boy i understand!”
harry’s heart was skipping around 13th avenue.
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#fluff#harry blurb#harry#famous!reader#harry styles x famous!reader
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My 2 cents on the plot / thematic relevance of Ch 95
This is not about advancing Plot B or showing Anya's school life (which is still true but has been discussed), but rather the overall theme of education and war. There was an excellent post about how Eden is at the frontline of the cold war and it is subtly shown through the innocent lens of the first graders (I can't find it now, would link it if I could). And I think that perfectly applies to Ch 95.
Quick recap on some references about education/students/war throughout the series (that I remember at the moment):
Sylvia gravely condemning the Berlint University Student Terrorists during the Doggy Crisis arc (Ch 20) and saying "did you learn nothing about war at your university?"
Henderson talking about his experience as a history teacher (Ch 27.5, Short Mission 4) and quote: "Yes, well, I have always maintained that there is nothing to be learned from the memorization of time lines. From the grand efforts with which our forefathers crafted society to the foolish notions that sent them racing to war, to not study the human element at history's root is to not understand history at all"
Note that Damian's best subject has been established to be history, and his family (father) has been involved in war, at least Donovan was PM during most of the war (established by Melinda in Ch 91). Donovan is also a graduated Imperial Scholar (Ch 64).
The Red Circus group started out as a peaceful student demonstration "advocating for peace and quality" (Ch 72) and "speaking out to protect the weakest members of our society". And Billy Squire said, "We were a respectable movement that fought for our cause with respectable means. It was the state that turned violent against us. So I'm not taking criticism from a member of the establishment (referring to Henderson, an educator). I'm gonna see to it that they reap what they've sown." Billy's daughter Biddy was killed by the state at a protest.
Less of a point, but Becky is the daughter of the CEO of a major military manufacturer. Despite their very likely involvement in military conflicts because they sell arms, the Blackbell cohort has been depicted positively so far: Becky being a kind, wonderful friend to Anya, Becky's father doting on her, and Martha again being kind and dignified (and also being an ex-soldier and acquainted with Henderson).
Eden Academy is a major setting for SxF and the themes of politics, education, and war are embedded in it. The students involved in protests/groups are older (the university students, Billy's daughter), but the political implications remain even among the youngest of the students— the first graders.
Hence, Ch 95. When mere first graders are shown to fight to gain connections, which can be political as pointed out by Henderson: "In the world of politics, dances serve as major social events". But of course, they are kids, so they see it more playfully and innocently, especially Becky with her shipper lens on.
Of course, there is also the aspect of getting to know other people better out of interest (the boys asking Anya and Becky to dance because they were impressed after the bus hijacking). But as people have mentioned, nobody mentions this to Damian despite him being equally involved in saving the class (all three of them got a star). The girls aren't interested in Damian as a person, they're interested in him as an asset because of his family and their power.
And I can see the teachers trying to diffuse the tension and create camaraderie with their friendly competition. To me, this reads as the teachers fully realizing "the battlefield of political maneuvering", and they want to remind the kids to have fun, to show good sportsmanship, to unite the kids, to operate as a class and be friendly with one another, and overall make it more lighthearted. It's nice to see the classes work together and get excited / win as a unit, especially compared to the more "individual" bits of fighting for a dance partner later.
We get a bit of comparison between Bill and Damian, with Bill showing good sportsmanship while Damian scoffs at him. But Damian ends up becoming ultra competitive and telling his classmates to not screw it up.
Like the Dodgeball chapter, Damian is clumsily attempting to lead the class by doing good in his quiz, while getting stressed and yelling at his peers when they don't succeed like he did. So he's not really a good leader. Like how him being good at history does not necessarily mean he is good at being peaceful (Short Mission 4 ends with Henderson staring in exasperation at Damian + Anya bickering with each other). But obviously, he is merely a child, and he is naturally immature.
At first Loid is all for advancing Plan B and analysed Anya's suitors in a rational (reductionist?) way by ranking them in terms of gaining intelligence, but he remembers this is just a dance, Anya is a kid, and she should do whatever she wants. Loid (and the adults) are very aware of the political side of the gala, but ultimately they want the kids to have fun and not worry / worry less about politics.
Because they're kids! They'll grow up and learn more and be politically active later, but right now, they're just kids. Kids who don't know much about the world but are eager to make the world a better place.
In the end, we get a panel of Anya and Loid "teaming up" to win Damian's hand for Plan B / world peace. The Damian-Anya dynamic is cushioned with the silly crushy feelings, but underneath it, Operation Strix continues to be a core motivation.
I find it interesting that Endo chooses to focus on the first graders and their innocent view of the world / politics. It's embedded everywhere and especially in a prominent school like Eden, but the kids don't really realise it / realise the severity of it. Heirs and heiresses are educated at Eden and grow up to have incredible influence and the power to shape the world. Our protagonist's best friend comes from a family that manufactures arms. Henderson mentions the importance of learning history to avoid making the same mistakes (ie. war).
So Ch 95 is a cute prom chapter. But I think it also helps to show the themes underneath the fun, bubbly interactions.
#spy x family spoilers#spy x family#spy x family manga#sxf analysis#meta#idk#what do i tag#long post
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AI isn't Art it's just Illegal Predatory Randomized CGI
Reposting this because OP blocked me, can't begin to guess why.
Photography, collage, readymade and various of the more abstract styles of painting and drawing are all art, and AI isn't. Why is that ? Simply, there are skills required to make technically interesting artpieces using these media, let alone meaningful ones. A skilled photographer might not be skilled with a pen, but their knowledge of composition and observation will always be transferrable to a new medium, in a way that they'll never start their art journey from scratch again. Because they're already an artist, because they've already done art and are skilled at it. Speaking for myself it took me a decade to get to a level where I was able to get paid for my work drawing traditionally, and once there it took me less than a year to reach a somewhat similar level switching over to digital. The skills are more comparable than with say collage or sculpture but the core principle still stands: I had gone and learned traditional art in art school, and while there I learned a slew of skills that were not at all limited to one tool, and when it came to switching I did not have to learn these skills again. Because by that point I was already a trained artist. I could just switch to sculpting with clay tomorrow and the biggest challenge would be to find a new market more than any skill issue.
Meanwhile fucking about with a computer to generate new pictures randomly has NO transferrable skills whatsoever. So much of the work has been taken out of your hands by a pattern seeking piece of software that it is impossible to learn anything from the experience. It's just plain to see when before you click the doodad to generate a new picture, you have NO IDEA what it will look like, none whatsoever unless you've been iterating on it before. You're not having an idea, formulating it in your mind and applying your skills to getting it out into the world, you just sort of have an idea and then a machine does the actual art work for you.
The only way you could possibly get better as an artist from doing this is if somehow you were deluded enough to think the process of scalping every artists' work in history was ethical, while also being observant and caring about art history enough that you'd learn critical skills from looking at the result of your quotation mark work end quote. Which is something you can do by going on a museum, or the internet. And if being an art historian isn't good enough for you, I invite you to actually join the elite exclusive vip club you're funding the death and automatisation of, by simply picking up a pen and piece of paper and starting to draw. It's that fucking simple.
PS: People trying to compare writing prompts with poetry: poetry does not include a stage in its process where all your artistic intent is surrendered to a machine to churn out a mash up of unethically sourced content. Nobody is going to buy a small book of computer generated picture prompts to keep on their night stand. You guys are delusional.
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Chapter 1 Part 2 Preview
Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not a full translation.
Mitsuhide: "Oh? It seems we have a guest."
Sasuke: "Pardon the intrusion. Lord Kenshin."
(Sasuke!)
While everyone's attention shifted, Sasuke casually walked in from the hallway.
Kenshin: "You're late. You finally caught up."
Sasuke: "Please don't go ahead on your own. Stalling the guards was pretty tricky."
Kenshin: "Struggling against just a few opponents? Pathetic."
Sasuke: "Being a ninja in this chaotic era is one of the worst jobs ever."
Sasuke: "But at least I got to meet my idol, Tokugawa Ieyasu, so I guess it's all good."
Ieyasu: "Huh? I think I just heard my name."
Sasuke: "Yes, can I shake your hand?"
Ieyasu: "Why are you holding out your hand so seriously? There's no way that's happening."
(Oh yeah, Sasuke's a history buff and a huge fan of Ieyasu.)
Kenshin gave Sasuke a piercing glare.
Kenshin: "Sasuke, stop wasting time. Where's Kanetsugu?"
Sasuke: "Kanetsugu is..."
Sasuke glanced towards the hallway, and someone gracefully entered the room.
Kanetsugu: "Where's Lord Kenshin?"
Kanetsugu: "Hm? The sliding doors are broken. Was there an attack?"
(This is my first time seeing Kanetsugu.)
Kanetsugu looked down at the broken sliding door as Ieyasu let out a sigh.
Ieyasu: "That's the work of your lord, you know?"
Kanetsugu: "I see. The blade technique is impressive."
Mitsunari: "Yes, it looks like the sharpness has been improved even more since the last time I saw it on the battlefield."
Ieyasu: "Don't start analyzing the door."
Sasuke: "This is serious. This is a valuable sliding door and a historical artifact."
Sasuke: "To the members of the Oda army, I'm really sorry."
Nobunaga: "You're the one apologizing?"
Sasuke: "Well, my boss would never apologize even if the world turned upside down, so I might as well apologize on his behalf."
Nobunaga: "That's an unusual statement. Interesting."
Nobunaga: "How about you join the Oda army as a ninja?"
Kenshin: "Oh? If you're trying to pick a fight, I'll gladly accept."
Sasuke: "Headhunting, huh? I'm honored. But first, let's use this for now."
Sasuke pulled out of his pocket a round, brown-shaped thing.
(Is that the kind of packing tape that's always found at hardware stores!?)
Hideyoshi: "Hey, what on earth are you planning to do in someone else's castle?"
Sasuke: "Don't worry. I'm just going to repair it."
Kanetsugu: "How exactly are you going to use that tool?"
Kanetsugu curiously crowded around Sasuke.
Sasuke: "This is something I recently developed, the Sticks-to-Anything Tape."
Sasuke: "It's a strong adhesive applied to a sturdy strip of paper."
(He's saying this so casually.)
Mai: "You can even make things like that? As expected from you, Sasuke!"
Sasuke: "Thank you; I have my background in astrophysics to thank."
Sasuke: "By the way, I originally came up with this at Yukimura's request to keep Lord Shingen from stealing sweets. Though that plan ended up being scrapped."
(Better not to wonder how he planned to stop Shingen with it.)
Sasuke: "Lord Hideyoshi, could you hold this for me?"
Hideyoshi: "Hmm? Like this?"
Sasuke: "Thanks. Kanetsugu, you hold that side."
Kanetsugu: "Why me? Hey, isn't it a bit off? Measure it precisely."
Sasuke: "Understood. Trying to minimize the area to avoid damaging a national treasure painting is tricky."
Kanetsugu: "Then, Keiji, you lend a hand too."
Keiji: "Alrighty!"
Masamune: "Need my help as well?"
Kanetsugu: "One-Eyed Dragon, I didn't say you could step into my view."
Masamune: "No need to be so wary."
Kanetsugu: "Don't speak to me so casually."
(I'm definitely not imagining Kanetsugu giving Masamune that glare.)
Hideyoshi: "Mitsuhide, stop grinning over there and help."
Mitsuhide: "Sorry, but I'm far too busy cheering you on."
Hideyoshi: "You're obviously just relaxing."
Mitsunari: "Then I'll help. I just need to put the adhesive here, right?"
Ieyasu: "Great, now I've got that thing on my sleeve. Don't touch me, and don't come near me!"
(Oh no! Ieyasu's kimono is all messed up.)
Still, the work somehow progressed, and Sasuke wiped the sweat from his forehead when he finished applying the tape.
Sasuke: "Phew, I managed to fix it somehow, thanks to everyone's help."
Kanetsugu: "The strength looks sufficient."
(I'd heard Kanetsugu's name many times as Kenshin's brilliant retainer, but…)
This was my first time meeting him in person.
(He looks so unapproachable, but since I finally got to meet him, I should introduce myself.)
Mai: "Kanetsugu, nice to meet you. My name's Mai."
As I stepped closer and extended my hand, Kanetsugu coldly avoided it.
Kanetsugu: "I haven't yet acknowledged you."
Mai: "W-What?"
(Hasn't acknowledged me?)
Startled by his harsh words, I returned his gaze, looking into his purple eyes.
Mai: "Could you tell me why? If I've made a mistake, I'll correct it."
Kanetsugu: "Hmph."
Kanetsugu: "I have no intention of accepting that you've become the lover of Lord Kenshin."
(That's the reason?)
(Wait, no, that's really unreasonable!)
Kenshin: "Kanetsugu."
Kanetsugu: "I apologize. Please forgive my immaturity in questioning my lord's thoughts."
Kanetsugu bowed his head quietly under Kenshin's low reprimanding voice.
Nobunaga: "Oh, so the strategist of Uesugi isn't fond of Mai?"
Hideyoshi: "What's wrong with our Mai? Go on, say it!"
Masamune: "We can't just let someone like him be around Mai, can we?"
Ieyasu: "Masamune, you're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Mitsuhide: "If you don't find this amusing, there's something wrong with you."
The warlords exchanged light banter, but their gazes were intimidating, creating a tense atmosphere.
Mitsunari: "Lord Kanetsugu, Lady Mai is a wonderful person."
Keiji: "I just met her, but I think so too."
Sasuke: "Everyone in the Oda army, you're all being overly protective; ahem, I mean, please calm down."
(He said overly protective.)
Sasuke: "To put it simply, Kanetsugu worships Lord Kenshin, so it doesn't matter who becomes his lover."
Sasuke: "He doesn't particularly dislike Mai, so please understand that."
(I've heard rumors about his devotion.)
(Apparently, Kanetsugu's loyalty is absolute; he's been completely devoted to Kenshin since he was young.)
Kanetsugu: "You're saying unnecessary things."
Facing the disgruntled Kanetsugu, Sasuke nonchalantly pushed up the bridge of his glasses.
Sasuke: "Kanetsugu is just being Kanetsugu."
Sasuke: "He's not a mother-in-law who refuses to accept a bride based on personal feelings."
Kenshin: "Bride, huh? That has a nice ring to it. Say it again."
Kenshin pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me from behind.
Kenshin: "You think so too, don't you, Mai?"
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A MASTERLIST OF ALL THE BOOKS I COULD FIND IN TIM'S BOOKSHELVES
As someone who basically sees Tim Laughlin as my own version of Jesus Christ (I kind of wish I was lying but I have a 'beyond measure' tattoo branding my skin so perhaps I'm entirely serious), I simply needed to know what was on those shelves of his. And this was a hard task to achieve, believe me... but I got much farther than I initially thought I would.
(I've got so much to say about all of these books and how they might string together to create a deeper understanding of Tim as a character but I won't go into it here... maybe in a future post or video essay, who knows).
If you wish to help a girl out and attempt to figure out any of the other books I simply can not crack no matter how I look at the screenshots and mess with the adjustments... here's a folder full of 2k sized screenshots of those shelves.
Before I list the books one by one, I want to make a couple observations:
1) Almost all of the books I was able to pinpoint are non-fiction. The ones that aren't are children's books.
2) Topically, we see an interdisciplinary interest in:
History: from a book on a king in 4BC, to a survey of landholding in England in the 11th century.
Somewhat current historical events: books on World War I and II.
Western Philosophers: specially from the 16th to the 18th century.
Aesthetics: there's at least 2 books on the subject matter, but I couldn't find the second one, sadly.
Spirituality: not only christian/catholic; some of these books touch on Eastern practices such as Buddhism and Hinduism.
Fairy tales / children's books.
Psychology: specially in regards to mysticism and sexuality.
Science and scientific discovery/research.
3) A lot of the history, current events, and spirituality books are autobiographies/memoirs.
4) A lot of books (specially those on sciences and philosophy) tend to be more so anthologies or overviews on a subject matter rather than a book written by one specific author on one very concrete topic.
Overall, this all reflects very well an idea Jonathan Bailey himself expressed in a brilliant interview you can watch here if you haven't yet:
"Tim has buddhist flags in his 1980s flat in San Francisco, he has crystals, he is someone who is always seeking other ways to understand human experience. Which is probably tiring for him. Throughout the decades, he sort of appears as completely different people. At the crux of it there's this extreme grinding, contrasting, aggressive duality between feeling lovable and not feeling lovable. There's such shame in Tim. But it's the push and the pull which keeps him alive.”
This desire to understand human psychology, spirituality, and the ways of the universe through as many diverse lenses as possible, as well as a predilection for non-fiction, expresses very much to me that insatiable thirst for truth that defines his character so strongly.
OKAY, THAT BEING SAID. Here's the list in chronological order of publication.
PS. if you decided to click on any of the following titles it'd definitely not take you to a google drive link of the pdf file where you could download and read these books for yourself. Because that would be illegal and wrong.
Journeys through Bookland by Charles H. Sylvester (1901?) (1922 Edition)
I don't know which specific volume he owns, sorry, I tried my best but the number is not discernible (hell, the title barely is). If anyone wants the download link to these hmu because I'm not about to individually download all 10 right now.
10 volumes of poems, myths, Bible stories, fairy tales, and excerpts from children's novels, as well as a guide to the series. It has been lauded as ‘a new and original plan for reading, applied to the world’s best literature for children.’
Pilgrimage by Graham Seton Hutchison (1936)
This book provides a view of the battlefields of WW I through the eyes of the average fighting man.
One curious thing about this book is that it's author, a British First World War army officer and military theorist, went on to become a fascist activist later in his life. Straight from Wikipedia:
"Seton Hutchison became a celebrated figure in military circles for his tactical innovations during the First World War but would later become associated with a series of fringe fascist movements which failed to capture much support even by the standards of the far right in Britain in the interbellum period." He made a contribution to First World War fiction with his espionage novel, The W Plan."
The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton (1948)
The Seven Storey Mountain tells of the growing restlessness of a brilliant and passionate young man, who at the age of twenty-six, takes vows in one of the most demanding Catholic orders—the Trappist monks. At the Abbey of Gethsemani, "the four walls of my new freedom," Thomas Merton struggles to withdraw from the world, but only after he has fully immersed himself in it. At the abbey, he wrote this extraordinary testament, a unique spiritual autobiography that has been recognized as one of the most influential religious works of our time. Translated into more than twenty languages, it has touched millions of lives.
This book requires no introduction. It's the one he keeps the Fire Island's postcard in and the one we see him re-reading in episode 8 after Hawk brings it to the hospital with him at the end of episode 7.
Just a little detail I noticed:
Apparently he liked the book so much he visited Gethsemani, which was the home of its author all the way up till 1968.
For all we know, he might have even met its author!
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred Charles Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy (1948)
When published in 1948 this volume encountered a storm of condemnation and acclaim. It is, however, a milestone on the path toward a scientific approach to the understanding of human sexual behavior. Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey and his fellow researchers sought to accumulate an objective body of facts regarding sex. They employed first hand interviews to gather this data. This volume is based upon histories of approximately 5,300 males which were collected during a fifteen year period. This text describes the methodology, sampling, coding, interviewing, statistical analyses, and then examines factors and sources of sexual outlet.
Yes, Charles Kinsey is indeed behind the Kinsey scale that has done so much for the LGBTQ+ community.
Their Finest Hour (1949), The Grand Alliance (1950), and Closing the Ring (1951) by Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's six-volume history of the cataclysm that swept the world remains the definitive history of the Second World War. Lucid, dramatic, remarkable both for its breadth and sweep and for its sense of personal involvement, it is universally acknowledged as a magnificent reconstruction and is an enduring, compelling work that led to his being awarded the Nobel Prize for literature in 1953.
The European Philosophers from Descartes to Nietzsche by Monroe C. Beardsley (1960)
In so far as we reflect upon ourselves and our world, and what we are doing in it, says the editor of this anthology, we are all philosophers. And therefore we are very much concerned with what the twelve men represented in this book--the major philosophers on the Continent of Europe--have to say to us, to help us build our own philosophy, to think things out in our own way. For the issues that we face today are partly determined by the work of thinkers of earlier generations, and no other time is more important to the development of Western thought than is the 250-year period covered by this anthology. Monroe. C. Beardsley, Professor of Philosophy at Swarthmore College, has chosen major works, or large selections from them, by each man, with supplementary passages to amplify or clarify important points. These include: Descartes - Discourse on Method (Descartes), Thoughts (Pascal), The Nature of Evil (Spinoza), The Relation Between Soul and Body (Leibniz), The Social Construct (Rousseau), Critique of Pure Reason (Kant), The Vocation of Man (Fichte), Introducciton to the Philosophy of History (Hegel), The World as Will and Idea (Schopenhauer), A General View of Positivism (Comte), The Analysis of Sensations and the Relation of the Physical to the Psychical (Mach), Beyond Good and Evil (Nietzsche).
The New Intelligent Man's Guide to Science by Isaac Asimov (1965)
Asimov tells the stories behind the science: the men and women who made the important discoveries and how they did it. Ranging from Galilei, Achimedes, Newton and Einstein, he takes the most complex concepts and explains it in such a way that a first-time reader on the subject feels confident on his/her understanding. Assists today's readers in keeping abreast of all recent discoveries and advances in physics, the biological sciences, astronomy, computer technology, artificial intelligence, robotics, and other sciences.
The Heavenly City of the 18th Philosophers by Carl L. Becker (1932) (1962 reprint)
Here a distinguished American historian challenges the belief that the eighteenth century was essentially modern in its temper. In crystalline prose Carl Becker demonstrates that the period commonly described as the Age of Reason was, in fact, very far from that; that Voltaire, Hume, Diderot, and Locke were living in a medieval world, and that these philosophers “demolished the Heavenly City of St. Augustine only to rebuild it with more up-to-date materials.” In a new foreword, Johnson Kent Wright looks at the book’s continuing relevance within the context of current discussion about the Enlightenment.
I find the particular choice of adding this book very curious and on brand, since it explores the idea that philosophers of the Enlightenment very much resembled religious dogma/faith in their structure and purpose. Just... A+ of the props department to not just add any kind of book on philosophy anthology.
Herod The Great by Michael Grant (1971)
The Herod of popular tradition is the tyrannical King of Judaea who ordered the Massacre of the Innocents and died a terrible death in 4 BC as the judgment of God. But this biography paints a much more complex picture of this contemporary of Mark Antony, Cleopatra, and the Emperor Augustus. Herod devoted his life to the task of keeping the Jews prosperous and racially intact. To judge by the two disastrous Jewish rebellions that occurred within a hundred and fifty years of his death -- those the Jews called the First and Second Roman Wars -- he was not, in the long run, completely successful. For forty years Herod walked the most precarious of political tightropes. For he had to be enough of a Jew to retain control of his Jewish subjects, and enough of a pro-Roman to preserve the confidence of Rome, within whose territory his kingdom fell. For more than a quarter of a century he was one of the chief bulwarks of Augustus' empire in the east. He made Judaea a large and prosperous country. He founded cities and built public works on a scale never seen before: of these, recently excavated Masada is a spectacular example. And he did all this in spite of a continuous undercurrent of protest and underground resistance. The numerous illustrations presents portraits and coins, buildings and articles of everyday use, landscapes and fortresses, and subsequent generations' interpretations of the more famous events, actual and mythical, of Herod's career.
Readings in the Philosophy of Art and Aesthetics compiled by Milton Charles Nahm (1975)
A college level comprehensive anthology of essays written on the arts and the field of aesthetic philosophy.
The Mustard Seed: Discourses on the Sayings of Jesus Taken from the Gospel According to Thomas by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (1975)
This timely book explores the wisdom of the Gnostic Jesus, who challenges our preconceptions about the world and ourselves. Based on the Gospel of Thomas, the book recounts the missing years in Jesus’ life and his time in Egypt and India, learning from Egyptian secret societies, then Buddhist schools, then Hindu Vedanta. Each of Jesus' original sayings is the "seed" for a chapter of the book; each examines one aspect of life — birth, death, love, fear, anger, and more — counterpointed by Osho’s penetrating comments and responses to questions from his audience.
(You don't know how fulfilling it was to find some of these books and just sit there like "oh my god, yessss, he'd SO read that".)
A Third Testament by Malcolm Muggeridge (1976)
A modern pilgrim explores the spiritual wanderings of Augustine, Pascal, Blake, Kierkegaard, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, and Bonhoeffer. A Third Testament brings to life seven men whose names are familiar enough, but whose iconoclastic spiritual wanderings make for unforgettable reading. Muggeridge's concise biographies are an accessible and manageable introduction to these spiritual giants who carried on the testament to the reality of God begun in the Old and New Testaments. - St. Augustine, a headstrong young hedonist and speechwriter who turned his back on money and prestige in order to serve Christ - Blaise Pascal, a brilliant mathematician who pursued scientific knowledge but warned people against thinking they could live without God - William Blake, a magnificent artist-poet who pled passionately for the life of the spirit and warned of the blight that materialism would usher in - Soren Kierkegaard, a renegade philosopher who spent most of his life at odds with the church, and insisted that every person must find his own way to God - Fyodor Dostoevsky, a debt-ridden writer and sometime prisoner who found, in the midst of squalor and political turmoil, the still small voice of God - Leo Tolstoy, a grand old novelist who swung between idealism and depression, loneliness and fame and a duel awareness of his sinfulness and God s grace - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a pastor whose writings and agonized involvement in a plot to kill Hitler cost him his life, but continue to inspire millions
Portraits: The photography of Carl Van Vechten (1978)
Can't find a file but you can borrow it from archive.com in the link provided.
During his career as a photographer, Carl Van Vechten’s subjects, many of whom were his friends and social acquaintances, included dancers, actors, writers, artists, activists, singers, costumiers, photographers, social critics, educators, journalists, and aesthetes. [...] As a promoter of literary talent and a critic of dance, theater, and opera, Carl Van Vechten was as interested in the cultural margin as he was in the day’s most acclaimed and successful people. His diverse subjects give a sense of both Carl Van Vechten’s interests and his considerable role in defining the cultural landscape of the twentieth century; among his many sitters one finds the leading lights of the Harlem Renaissance, the premier actors and writers of the American stage, the world’s greatest opera stars and ballerinas, the most important and influential writers of the day, among many others.
Report of the Shroud of Turin by John H Heller (1983)
Heller, while a man of science, was nevertheless a devout man (Southern Baptist). He viewed his task concerning The Shroud with great scepticism; there have been far too many hoaxes in the world of religion. The book describes in great detail the events leading up to the team's conviction that the Shroud was genuine; last - not least - being Heller and Adler's verification of "heme" (blood) and the inexplicable "burned image" of the crucified man. Although carbon dating indicates that the image is not 2000 years old and that the cloth is from the Middle Ages, there is not enough evidence to disprove Heller's assertion that the Shroud is indeed genuine.
Context for those who may not know (though I doubt it's necessary): The shroud of Turin "is a length of linen cloth that bears a faint image of the front and back of a man. It has been venerated for centuries, especially by members of the Catholic Church, as the actual burial shroud used to wrap the body of Jesus of Nazareth after his crucifixion, and upon which Jesus's bodily image is miraculously imprinted."
It is a very controversial subject matter and I definitely don't know that from going to an Opus Dei school since the day I was born till the day I graduated high school.
Mysticism, Psychology and Oedipus by Israel Regardie (1985)
I've tried my hardest but despite many Israel Regardie books being on the world wide web, I can't find a copy of this specific one.
Mysticism, Psychology and Oedipus, from the Small Gems series is one of these mysterious alchemys which Regardie and Spiegelman crafted for the serious student of mysticism. Mysticism, Psychology and Oedipus by Dr. Israel Regardie and his friend, world renowned Jungian Psychologist, J. Marvin Spiegelman, Ph.D. was created to reach the serious student at the intersecting paths of magic, mysticism and psychology. While each area of study overlaps they also maintain their own individual paths of truth. One of Regardie’s greatest gifts was his rare ability to combine these difficult and diverse subjects and make them understandable.
Domesday Book Through Nine Centuries by Elizabeth M. Hallam (1986)
In 1086 a great survey of landholding in England was carried out on the orders of William the Conqueror, and its results were recorded in the two volumes, which, within less than a century, were to acquire the name of Domesday, or the Book of Judgment 'because its decisions, like those of the last Judgment, are unalterable'. This detailed survey of the kingdom, unprecedented at that time in its scope, gives us an extraordinarily vivid impression of the life of the eleventh century.
The following two are a fuck up on the props department part because they were published after 1987 but we'll forgive them because they were not expecting for me to do all this to figure out the titles of these books, I'm sure:
The One Who Set Out to Study Fear by Peter Redgrove (1989)
This book barely exists physically, rest assured it does not exist online... LOL.
The author of The Wise Wound presents here a re-telling of Grimm's famous fairy tales, written in a manner and spirit more suited to the present day. Each story is rooted in the original, but cast in an energetic style that is both disrespectful and humorous.
Essential Papers on Masochism by Margaret Ann Fitzpatrick Hanly (1995)
The contested psychoanalytic concept of masochism has served to open up pathways into less-explored regions of the human mind and behavior. Here, rituals of pain and sexual abusiveness prevail, and sometimes gruesome details of unconscious fantasies are constructed out of psychological pain, desperate need, and sexually excited, self- destructive violence. In this significant addition to the "Essential Papers in Psychoanalysis" series, Margaret Ann Fitzpatrick Hanly presents an anthology of the most outstanding writings in the psychoanalytic study of masochism. In bringing these essays together, Dr. Fitzpatrick Hanly expertly combines classic and contemporary theories by the most respected scholars in the field to create a varied and integrated volume. This collection features papers by S. Nacht, R. Loewenstein, Victor Smirnoff, Sigmund Freud, Jacques Laplanche, Robert Bak, Leonard Shengold, K. Novick, J. Novick, S. Coen, Margaret Brenman, Esther Menaker, S. Lorand, M. Balint, Bernhard Berliner, Charles Brenner, Helene Deutsch, Annie Reich, Marie Bonaparte, Jessica Benjamin, S.L. Olinick, Arnold Modell, Betty Joseph, and Janine Chasseguet-Smirgel.
Let's not forget another book we know has been present in his shelves at some point:
Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe (1929)
It is Wolfe's first novel, and is considered a highly autobiographical American coming-of-age story. The character of Eugene Gant is generally believed to be a depiction of Wolfe himself. The novel briefly recounts Eugene's father's early life, but primarily covers the span of time from Eugene's birth in 1900 to his definitive departure from home at the age of 19. The setting is a fictionalization of his home town of Asheville, North Carolina, called Altamont in the novel.
And Ron Nyswaner mentioned in a podcast (might be this one? I'm not sure) that he scrapped from the script a line where Tim recommends this poem at some point:
He specially emphasized the line "If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me".
And lastly, if anyone wanted to know:
His copy of the bible is the Revised Standard Version by Thomas Nelson from either 1952 or 1953.
Because why the hell not figure out what specific translation of the holy bible a fictional character was basing his beliefs on — as if the set designers cared nearly as much as I do.
#fellow travelers#fellow travelers meta#tim laughlin#fellowtravelersedit#i know it doesnt precisely fit the tag but hey.. theres a gif right there#this is such a jobless thread... but i AM jobless
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something very aromantic coded in s2 of good omens is that crowley and aziraphale canonically take their cues of what a certain kind of relationship ought to look like from books and films. firstly, very relatable, I did much the same thing throughout my teens (and in some ways still do although I'm not trying to make myself "fit" by taking cues that I've been studying to be the correct way to do a relationship, I just enjoy performing them in the same way all life is performance when you're not-doing-body-and-relationship-to-other-bodies correctly inherently)
secondly, how it plays out in them messing unintentionally with nina and maggie. they don't understand the structure of nina's and maggie's whole thing as it applies to the reality of relationship structures in the world they're in; that nina is initially in a romantic relationship and wouldn't just jump from it -- no matter how bad -- straight into another one that was presented as "more" correct. because of course standing under an awning or dancing at a ball makes people "fall in love" (whatever that is) because... well, that's how it happens in the stories all the time, that's what these sorts of relationships are all about, "one fabulous kiss and we're good" -- it's a shock to crowley that he misread all the cues "you were crying and she was..." isn't that what this romance thing is that humans are always talking about????
thirdly it of course eventually circles around to be about what in the world their relationship is, but when they're trying to figure out what's going on between the two of them, there aren't any words that can neatly sum it up beyond "us" -- whatever it is, it's "us" against "them" (although aziraphale isn't quite ready for that) -- the them being heaven and hell of course, but to be honest, from an aro perspective, the "them" takes on certain human connotations to me as well, because it's all about how these two don't fit into structures and are punished for this not-fitting-in, and while they're not punished by the humans around them, they also aren't... human. they still operate somewhat from the outside of everyone else, even though aziraphale manages throughout history to create a fair few connections from the sounds of things
similarly to how they do it to nina and maggie, they try on these tropes with one another: aziraphale invites crowley to dance, crowley kisses aziraphale, and it doesn't fit quite right (the first because crowley is concerned with all the demons outside and so isn't paying as much attention to the dancing part of the whole thing, and the second because [insert another bunch of analysis here that's its own post]), but they've already been us the whole time. their attempts at explaining using alloromantic shorthand fall short, because they're hampered by needing to define themselves and their relationship with terminology that's suitably correct for whatever dominant structures they're in
fourthly, the fact that their cues for what their relationship needs to be shouldn't even really be coming from movies/books and humanity in the first place, it should be coming from gabriel and beelzebub. gabriel and beelzebub don't even try all of that "this is what romance is," they don't call one another romantic or kiss or even say words like partner, they're not interested in doing human-based customs or "fitting in." their language for one another is based around that song, and that's as much defining as it needs. whatever aziraphale and crowley are to one another is equally all their own thing, but aziraphale and crowley struggle with definitions constantly. they don't fit into heaven, they don't fit into hell, and humanity -- while more the place they've adopted for all its wild wonders -- isn't quite right either, because they're still being put in a box
it was fun to look out for as I was rewatching, because the way they interacted with alloromanticism really did read like two people who have exactly zero idea of how this applies irl, but that's okay, the fiction's got it handled, all they have to do is copy-paste = result, but then the stuff that actually is the romance in those texts becomes a series of contextless tropes, kind of like how amatonormativity often has those exact same tropes recycled in story after story that can't figure out why it worked the first time but not the next hundred times, except in this story it's on purpose. one fabulous kiss did not in fact solve things at all (nor was it fabulous)
#good omens#anthony jemima crowley#crowley#aziraphale#a/c#aziracrow#been going forwards and backwards on whether to tag but i think that's just the struggle we as aros always go through#yes they're ineffable and yes that means they're too big to be described#but a slash will do the trick for now#good omens meta
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