#I am trying to deal with this
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You know… I came here because of 1D. I have never seen them live in concert and now I know I never will.
But I remember when I flew to UK to see both Louis and Liam on that radio event, they both performed. I was excited. God, the sets were so short, but I loved it anyway.
I was there with Veronica - a girl I met online, we were cheering on them, singing. We were so wild. She told me that when Zayn left 1D she was devastated, she had tickets to concert and Zayn left and it broke her. I’m not in touch with her anymore because she left socials to focus on her mental health and I wonder how she is doing today… today when Liam left.
I gained friends because of Liam, I listened and sang his songs. I was handling quarantines better thanks to Liam, waiting for his veeps streams.
I’m so sad - for his mum and dad, sisters that had always supported him. He was loved.
The joy he brought, the art he created and also inspired in us fans… what a terrible loss.
All the tributes from his friends and colleagues…
Losing is always hard.
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when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
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It’s still a work in progress but I can’t help showing you Shikimi in the nurse lolita dress I’m making them.
#bjd#doll#guro lolita#blue fairy#blue fairy olive#my dolls#am I procrasting making sleeves ? Maybe#not sure how to deal with the closure in a cute way with what I have on hands :/#I’m trying to not buy any new material for this project#also the front pocket is fully functional and I’m so proud of myself for that !#I’ve never made a welt pocket before
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Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;
Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--
With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it
Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.
"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"
That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.
First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.
Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).
Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.
Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.
Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.
EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)
#these are just my thoughts#they dont have to align with your own!#i am also trying to find a healthy balance between being emotional and being Angry for jason--#he wasnt the angry robin dammit! maybe emotional and a bit more physical but cmon#points at Dick 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' Grayson#when dick gets older i would imagine that he would resent being called anything in relation to bruce#if its just for his angst phase when he first becomes nightwing or if hes dealing with his own identity/or going through a fight w bruce#i also find the father / son dynamic with dick & damian interesting so i might ponder on that a bit more#also giving tim insecurity issues about where he fits in with the batfam is important to my soul (i have problems)#sore rambles#lotuspowder rambles#batfam#dcu#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#batfam headcanons#dc headcanon#headcanon#batkids#batkids headcanon#HI IF YOURE LOOKI
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Happy Birthday to Fallen London; My favourite British people beefing it with bats simulator.
#fallen london#ambition: nemesis#mr.cups#Happy belated birthday to me: I finished my Nemesis ambition. I get to make a fun comic about it. THAT WAS THE DEAL!!!#...Is what I would have said had I not spent *four* days trying to draw a cool dramatic comic. This is all I have to show for it.#I also missed posting this on the Flondon anniversary so I'm double Smad and frustippointed at myself.#This is niche content but I know there are flondoners following me who will understand.#I had to make a second account because all my friends who I played with *also* picked Nemesis and dropped the game at various gates.#I failed every possible check at Knifegate. I was on the verge of madness. And yet I still love this game.#Little known secret about me: over 70% of the blogs I follow on tumblr are flondon rp blogs.#The cool art and character lore brings me a lot of joy!#With that said; what the hell is the coincidence that right as I finish Nemesis -#The flondon community starts a Nemesis Race.#Guys. it’s not worth it. It is a revenge quest about losing everything you have to see your task through.#All to culminate in the discovering that you are beefing it with a fanfiction writing bat.#That said; I do feel like this story was very satisfying for my melancholic doctor.#I knew I would get the choice between sparing or killing my nemesis (the bat) and I had a long time to think it through.#Someone who wants to save lives and (does as much as possible to do make things better for others) choosing against mercy?#Someone who never permitted themselves to let the city truly become a home because they were not a person - they were a tool for grief.#Alright..Yeah the ending was really good.#I will be back with a part two. Clearly I'm tenacious enough to commit to what I started.#If I am not excommunicated on sight by the flondon community I will be back with comics for the other ambitions.
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I have seen multiple Demon Twins AUs where Damian sees Danny, assumes he is a clone and tries to kill him. Then after the truth is revealed, Danny is just like, "oh okay no big deal! He just thought I was a clone." Then they hug or something. But I disagree?
Yes, Danny is very forgiving of harm done to him, he is friendly with a lot of ghosts who have attacked him. But how friendly is he with people who hurt those he cares about? Even more so, those who aren't even sorry about their actions? I can see Danny forgiving Damian for trying to kill him. I am more skeptical about him forgiving if it was done purely because he was believed to be a clone.
Danny, who has a clone he actually cares about, would be more pissed by this explanation, not less. I can see him thinking something like, "Oh you thought murder was okay because they were a clone? You don't think their life has value?" This explanation would do the opposite of reassure Danny. I can even see him feeling a kinship, a brotherhood, with Damian's dead clones. I can see him, a dead teen himself, mourning them.
This isn't really fair to Damian for sure. He has a lot of legitimate trauma around cloning. Even more so if we use the idea that he (and Danny in this AU) were test tube babies. And he has worked so hard to grow and change and leave his more violent upbringing behind him. His long lost twin believing him to be nothing more than a violent murderer would hurt a lot.
But even so... No matter what their relationship was like before, Danny would not trust Damian after this. How could he trust someone who would have killed Dani?
Idk, I just haven't seen a single demon twins AU where Danny is defensive of clones and I think it is a huge missed opportunity for angst and drama.
#And I don't think just an apology and a promise to not kill Dani would be enough. He would need to PROVE he can be KIND to clones#which is something i am not sure Damian has the ability to do without a lot of therapy. Because like did he ever work out this trauma?#I think he would just get defensive and that makes Danny more mad#And again yes Damian has very valid trauma but that doesn't excuse the murder attempt actually#What if I wrote a fic dealing with this exact conflict? Just kidding. Unless? UNLESS?? Would anyone want this???#I LOVE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS. I love the idea of the demon twins AU but like none of them have the level of relationship drama i crave#I want them to be forced to see things from each other's point of view.#Danny needs to see just how much Damian's past experiences with cloning traumatized him.#Perhaps especially because the clone that KILLED him had his dead brother's face?#Meanwhile Damian needs to see that maybe attacking someone without even trying to talk to them first is bad actually.#I just want a Damian centric fic to actually address his clone trauma. There are like none that do. Is that too much to ask?#Actually maybe even a fic were Danny IS Damian's clone could be really interesting too#damian wayne#damian al ghul#danny phantom#danny fenton#damian and danny are twins#demon twins au#batman#dc comics#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp#danyal al ghul
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we're at it again🕺
#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah#genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him#and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think#and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around#technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed...#but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him-#but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff#i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail#plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny#but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword...#but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway#am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes#am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes
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oaths and benedictions and such
#reanimator#herbert west#dan cain#danbert#reanimator fanart#re animator#mycrumbs#blood tw#eyestrain tw#hi i am not dead i was just away. anyways im trying new things to deal with artblock. not sure if theyre working but its something
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been chewing on this conversation between pearl and gem this week:
Gem: I know you didn't kill me!
Pearl: So what are you cranky about?
...
Gem: I'm just- you know, I wanted some drama! So, this is the drama, you're welcome.
Pearl: "This is the drama". You're telling me we could've been friends this whole time but you're just like "yoohoohoohoohoohoohoo... I hate you!"
Gem: Yeah, I mean, why not!
and i'm connecting it to gem in empires season 2, where like. in the context of the fiction everyone else had been living in that world their whole lives and that's their reality, like, it's real to them.
and meanwhile gem is just roleplaying. like, she was a being from another world who just came there because she wanted to play at being a human princess for a while. and then when she's called away she's just like. anyway i was never actually a princess or a mortal being from this dimension and we're never gonna see each other again, sorry for the existential crisis, bye!
and anyway i think she has a similar deal in the life series. like, everyone else is there because they're trapped in the Torment Nexus, gem is there because she wants to be.
#life series#wild life#geminitay#i mean all the hermits on empires had EXTREMELY Fey Vibes but the way gem spins it is like.......#I Am Chewing On It.#and this conversation has me like. i've connected the two dotssss#i gotta watch her secret life before i totally go off on this#but i'm also thinking of her general attitude about people trying to kill her in wild life#where she's just sort of like. humoring them. but also she would love it if they killed her! because then *she* gets to kill people!#like. it just doesn't *matter* as much to her#vs joel who deals with the wild cards just as well as her but is still always running around panicking about *something*#see the difference in how they react to everyone blowing up joel's car vs cleo burning down gem's barn#and team 4G also being called sweats this session and they are generally very good at the game#but everything matters Extremely A Lot to them. see: cleo burning down gem's barn#this isn't really going anywhere specific but i am thinking about it So Much
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forgot to specify on firearm possession when he posted that job ad
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#this is the space sweepers AU thing I posted that one sketch for lol#I think trying to preserve riz's canon deal with guns in any AU is a noble&worthy cause#and I worried it wouldnt work in this one specifically. I shouldnt bc it doesnt matter but I do anyway bc of who I am#but also I shouldnt bc it works out fine lol. I think the juxtaposition/gap moe comes through#for context theyre in the far future of the year 2092 about#and the majority of the crew are deeply involved with contemporary tech. half of them got body mods. one of them's a robot#riz is the navigator (fabian's the first captain and the one assembling the crew). he does everything on paper with a pencil#he has a school calculator from our current time. the crew's had to wrestle a comm link onto him#his translator link has been mutilated to stop all wireless transmission. he is also under 5 feet in height and looks Like That#I think its great that he honestly coheres very well despite all appearances. in every life possible it must be wild that he owns a gun#and also the idea of fabian slowly waking up to the realization that he's somewhat responsible for a buncha babies is awesome to me#good luck buddy. hold out for two more years and labour court will no longer be on ur ass
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How many people witnessed softie food addict horror who needed something in his mouth or he would actively kill and turn to cannibalism 🧍♀️ or was that just me.... anyways honestly it was silly.. he'd maybe get along with cook horror... I just like fanon crossovers guys*sadge
Anyways canon horror is also silly(really silly. What an asshole, man)(no seriously he's actually such an asshole.. I might love him for that but-) I don't think he would get along with the others(loser)
#me when I acknowledge as many sides of an argument as possible which just makes me confused because I am trying to take off of other people#but they're so diverse that I can't mix all of it and so I don't know how to interpret any characters anymore and what makes it worse is my#ahh not actually understanding people or relationships because I got minimum emotions maximum carelessness but I also love emotions so I#love the psychological torture of all of this but I also don't understand it so I'm depending on everyone else but yet again they're so#mixed I get confused and I don't know how to deal with any of it so I'm just here standing confused screaming in my own mind as I try to#understand how to make it all work together and then#....#Jesus fuck#sans au#utmv#undertale au#horrortale#horror sans#UwU#anyways disregard any ideas I may have ever because they will always change and I don't know what to do anymore.......#bro I'm boutta resort to Wattpad fics.... get ready for Wattpad highschool fic😼/j#I want to do that but I lost my fluidity in writing sighs...#I never graduated from Wattpad sorry guys😔#I didn't do that well drawing canon horror tbh but it'll have to do
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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tumblr when mental illness makes you withdraw from company: nobody has the right to expect anything of you! take care of yourself! if they don't forgive you and act like nothing happened when you come back into the world, it's on them, not you! it's so very kind of you if you deign to try and overcome this for the sake of those annoying, awful people, but you don't have to if you don't want to! poor lamb!
tumblr when mental illness makes you need reassurance that people don't hate you: you should work on that. you should learn to compromise. expecting anyone on the other side to expend even a little bit of effort to help you is selfish and horrible. maybe just die actually
(NOTE: THE POINT HERE IS THAT BOTH SIDES DESERVE A DEGREE OF GRACE FROM OTHERS AND BOTH SIDES SHOULD WORK ON THEIR ISSUES. I hate that I have to explain it, but this is the Piss on the Poor website, so...)
#mental illness#no people are not entitled to instant responses every time you're online! that is true!#but people are also not entitled to consequence-free extended periods of straight-up ignoring their friends#if I have to understand that you're dealing with something (and I will!) you should at least try to understand that I am too#I just saw this post that was like 'okay well could you quickly tell me if I message you and you don't feel up to talking then?'#and the response was 'UM NO THAT'S STILL DRAINING AND YOU NEED TO EXAMINE WHY YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO IT'#like holy shit. shot down a suggestion of compromise immediately there#so basically a 'you do Lots of Work and I do Zero Work on this problem' situation. got it
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I wanted him dead; I wanted him all to myself.
get him back!
#iwtvedit#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#loustat#loustatedit#iwtv#ok disclaimer : i am sure others have made edits to this song however i am not 100% tuned in to all of that activity#and i deliberately did not to do a search to find out bc i have to follow my heart.#therefore any similarities to existing edits are purely coincidental and/or the nature of the beast.#again not trying to step on any toes i am merely a slave to the muse. and SLOW AF at getting shit done now that i have a 9-5job lmfao#orig#my edits#and we are all just gonna deal w the black bars and not talk about it. 👍
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Evacuation/Shelter Fundraisers
I havent been able to donate but i dont want to just ignore whats going on. Most of these fundraisers were made to evacuate families and basic neccesities, so time is crucial. if you are in a position to do so, please donate and share!
Ahmed Ziad (£10,243/£30,000)
Bilal Abed Rabou (€8,400/€80,000) Very low on funds
Amira's family (€29,130/€39,000) !! She is so close!!
Shymaa Taiser ($11,553/$50,000)
Ghazi Younis ($4,593/$50,000) Lets help them break 10k!
Nour's family ($13,742/$45,000)
Haya's family (€83,835/€100,000) Almost there!!
Ola Ferwana (€4,235/€35,000)
Hadeel Mikki (€15,920/€35,000)
Youseff's family ($6,151/$15,000)
Ahmed's family (€29,767/€45,000)
Nour Alanqar (€21,424/€40,000)
Dr. Mohammed Aldeeb (€39,914/€55,000)
Islam Al-Najjar (€1,950/€30,000)
Sohaip's family (£847/£10,000) Very low on funds
Mahmoud AlBalawi (€38,991/€85,000) Halfway there
Kareman's family ($7,272/$50,000)
Waseem Abusafi (€2,989/€15,000)
Mohammed's family (€187/€25,000) Donations protected but not vetted
Youssef Helles (€15,441/€23,000)
Ahmed Hallas (€14,006/€80,000)
Mohammad's family (€23,066/€40,000)
Ahmed Jehad ($2,898/$40,000) Low on funds
Safaa's family (€23,854/€35,000)
Mohammed Alwadiya ($3,980/$35,000)
Youssef's son (€9,827/€20,000)
Ahmed Al-Habil (€2,152/€50,000) Very low on funds
Will link a part two soon
#i am astonished to the amount of hate people have to deal with while trying to verify these fundraisers#anyway i really hope you they all can make it and return to their homes#free from the cancerous grip of israel and the us#free palestine#gonna close my inbox and make a part 2 which is so terrible to write
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listen I know it’s kind of corny and inaccurate to act like every single person in the dc universe knows each other and is besties but it IS endlessly funny to me to follow the web of connections and see how many degrees removed from each other everyone is.
like look at the arrowfam okay. ollie and dinah are together, ollie is homoerotic best friends with hal, dinah is homoerotic best friends with babs. roy is dating dick, has a kid with jade, and is basically an adoptive father to both grant emerson and rose wilson. connor is dating kyle and is constantly followed around by eddie fyers. mia is friends with a lot of the second gen teen titans kids, had an on-again-off-again thing going on with steph for a while, and is currently dating sienna. emiko is besties with courtney and some of the other recent teen titans. sin has a small army of protective aunts from the birds of prey. the real question is how far does it go before ollie puts a cap on the number of people who are invited to family brunch on sundays
#arrowfam#LIKE. PLSSSS#can you imagine them all in one room.#roy: hey ollie can garth come to brunch this week.. he’s in town and i never get to see him and he really wants to try your pancakes#ollie: idk roy we’re already at max capacity..#roy: please dad🥺🥺🥺🥺#ollie: …..fine. someone will have to be uninvited then#mia: why? what’s one more person?#ollie: bc I have Very Strict Rules!!! If I don’t follow the invite limit then the whole town’ll show up every week!#connor what about axing kyle#connor: …dad. I am not disinviting my boyfriend and Only Guest to brunch bc of your arbritrary rules.#ollie: fine that’s fair. um…#mia: what about grant#ollie: for the last time mia we are not banning your nephew from family brunch because he allegedly#ate some of your bacon one time. it was not a big deal and you need to get over it#mia: UMM‼️‼️ it was a big deal TO ME🗣️🗣️and I don’t appreciate you INVALIDATING my emotions like this‼️‼️#ollie: uhhh emiko what about courtney. she comes over like every week will she be fine sitting this one out#emiko: I can’t believe this. how dare you deny my ONLY FRIEND IN THE WORLD an invitation to brunch. it’s like you hate me#ollie: EMI I KNOW YOU PATENTLY HAVE MORE FRIENDS. who have BEEN TO BRUNCH BEFORE.#emiko: YOU CAN’T TAKE COURTNEY FROM MEEEEEE#ollie: FINE ok.#roy: why don’t you just tell hal not to come all the way down here for brunch I mean he’s here every week anyway#ollie: bc it’s hal okay. mind your own business.#roy: fine. but we’re running out of people#connor: I mean………. what about eddie#ollie: ………….. yeah ok I’m sold. that works. meeting adjourned good job team#mia: why are you so worked up about keeping attendance low anyway#ollie: MY KITCHEN TABLE CAN ONLY FIT SO MANY SUPERHEROES MIA
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