#I am still not normal about any of this
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black sails also links revolutionary radical action to personal authenticity. the people who deny their own identity cannot build a better world because to Have an identity is to understand oneself in reference and in connection to other people. it was a tv show that aired on starz from 2014 to 2017
#black sails#I am still not normal about any of this#hey flint silver eleanor anne aside#have you noticed that vane understands his own motivations (identity) and declares his commitment to nassau in the same breath#(because that commitment is his identity. it's flint's identity it's flint's war madi's war her people's war etc etc)
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(looks at upcoming card releases)
I'm in danger :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#smoking#my favorite horrible crime guys are back!!!!#(my hot take is that glomas had a better story but these goobers were just SO fun)#(they should be allowed to kidnap and murder(?) at least a few dozen people. as a treat.)#man i knew there was probably going to be a fellow card and yet i still did a bad job of saving my keys#and there's this year's halloween to think about too!#normally i try to avoid leaks and spoilers but i did accidentally see some stuff and if it's real then holy SHIT#on the other hand fellow attacks by basically throwing gidel at people and i desperately need this on my team#regardless of whether or not the card is actually any good#(if they change the animation to remove gidel i am going to RIOT it needs to be either exactly the same or EVEN SILLIER)#actually it would be hilarious if their stats were terrible. just the worst. and yet...#grown man and his kid with a hammer vs a bunch of teen wizards who can shoot fire#the results may shock you#(if they do the same duos-with-the-last-release as they have been with the staff cards then i will absolutely lose it)#(please twst. it would so useless to me but SO funny)#fellow: it's showtime rollo! :)#rollo: who are you
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"I can't ignore what's under dancefloor boards, The rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat, But I still move my feet, to slip out of this groove, I'm free" ~ 2econd 2ight 2eer, Will Wood, The Normal Album
I have been plagued with visions of LDR Sun every time I listen to this song and I NEEDED to get this out of my system @spadillelicious when do we get to smooch the boy pLEASE
v textless version and close ups under cut!! v
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnaf dca#dca au#dca fanart#dca fandom#Love Death and Rollerskates#LDR sun#will wood#2econd 2ight 2eer#the normal album#tw eyestrain#cw guns#if you see any mistakes in the text no you didn't#took me way too long to get everything lined up and readable PLEASE--#just bear with me on this one i am going FERAL#story of my life but this was going to be a simple sketch to reward myself between deadlines and then it became a WHOLE thing /pos#(i still don't understand how to draw rollerskates!!!! or guns!!!)#but my LDR brainworms were soooo happy to get spotlight on this one akjshdsg#i am screaming endlessly about this fic I had been wanting to draw sun and his funky windbreaker for MONTHS!!#and every time you mention crescent eyes my little brain is like “DRAW THAT” kasjfhdf#but so many other things kept coming up and i kept having to put it off#and then this song came along and i was like. ENOUGH. IT IS TIME!!!!!#An allusion to The Tell-Tale Heart AND disco dancing?! HELL FREAKING YEAH!!!!!#and then several reference image hunts and a LOT of colour happened and here we are :3#okay okay tag rambling is being cut off now but i just akjhsdg am thrilled to finally share this--#Please go read Love Death and Rollerskates by spadillelicious it is FANTASTIC
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Hey do you ever think about Orym being a self proclaimed romantic who is “super lonely all the time, especially at night” and how guilty he feels about wanting romantic connection because he still loves his husband, and sees Will’s face every night before going to bed, but he’s starting to realize his deeper attraction to Ashton as something real and realize his pining for Dorian as something he shouldn’t ignore, but he was supposed to be with Will and he’s come to terms with Will dying, but sometimes it hurts so much, and yes he wants romantic connection and he’s so lonely, but he still hasn’t gotten revenge for Will’s death, and he may die soon so why pursue anything if he’s gonna be with Will again in the afterlife, BUT he may die soon and why hold off on admitting how he feels when he knows that despite losing Will the time they had was real good and he wouldn’t trade it for anything, and what if he doesn’t die what if it all turns out okay and maybe he now really has a reason to want and hope for not just *the* future, but HIS future because that future could include Dorian or Ashton and is it bad to not want to be with Will sooner or is it better to want to live and be with someone who cares for him because thats what Will would want and he wants romantic connection and he is so lonely all the time, especially at night, and what if I started chewing the drywall huh?
#Hello My Brain Is Only Thinking Orym Thoughts#Liam can’t just drop that Orym is super lonely all the time especially at night and expect any of us to be normal about it#critical role#cr spoilers#orym of the air ashari#this is your chance to get a peak into my craziness#ashrym#dorym#again I’m not much of a dorym girlie pop#BUT#I see the vision#and if Robbie comes back for a long time and can give me the good good slow burn I desire? what then am I to do but agree#but I’m still on my ashrym bull shit#I’m so deep in my ashrym bullshit my passive perception is 48#a forehead kiss and loneliness admission makes me lose my gd mind#I admit that this is excessive but blame the adhd hyperfixation I am just along for the ride
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What's so fun about BruJay as a ship is Jason's sheer obsessive devotion to Bruce. Jason is possessive over Bruce, to the point he doesn't care about the deaths of others so long as he has Bruce's attention. A part of the UTRH arc this isn't talked about enough is that Bludhaven fucking explodes mid-way and Jason won't let Bruce see if Dick is alive.
batman (1940) #650
A lot of discussion about UTRH paints Jason as this anger-driven cold, calculating machine up against Bruce when it's so clear that his love for Bruce is what drives him at his root, even if he won't acknowledge it. He says it himself, he would've done anything if it was Bruce who'd died instead of him and his anger is rooted in that possessive devotion not being reciprocated.
batman (194) #650
BruJay as a ship always to be, to some level, unrequited. Even if Bruce loves Jason back in that way, he'll never be that obsessed with Jason. Jason will always view Bruce's love for Dick or Tim to be a distraction, proof that Bruce isn't dedicated enough to him. Jason has the need to always have Bruce's attention, even when it could come at the cost of Bruce's other loved ones. Something something cannibalism as a metaphor for love in how Jason wants to consume Bruce's whole existence. He can't let Bruce leave him again, can't let Bruce love or grieve anyone else. Forcing Bruce to choose between Jason and the Joker isn't just about confronting Jason's killer, it's about confronting the other person who exists as this duality with Bruce and consumes so much of Bruce's life. That's the role Jason wants to fill, calling himself Red Hood and forcing Bruce to look at what he's become. But still loving Bruce and wanting more than anything for Bruce to reciprocate that love in the way that Jason understands. I just think it's good soup and rife with Dynamics that are underexplored with them.
#necrotic festerings#brujay#jaybruce#jaybru#jason todd x bruce wayne#batcest#i've had this thought in my head for a while#i was just weirdly shy about posting it? like convinced myself it's not as verbose as some of my other thoughts#also GOD why is the art of this arc SO BAD.#i can't take it SERIOUSLY#i hate looking at it.#the faces. why are the faces like that.#brujay needs more love bc jesus#gotham war had some good brujay content but i am still too bitter to discuss that shitshow. so. ignoring it for now.#bruce changing jason's brain chemistry as an act of love is the most FUCKED UP brujay thing ever tho#it's so Them.#sorry that is just peak brujay. they are incapable of meeting in any middle and always trying to change each other.#maybe this meta should've been about that.#but then i'd have to use new-52 and rebirth panels so eh. nvmd.#this page makes it seem like i hate post-flashpoint comics. i don't i swear#they just interest me less for batcest.#like oh yay everyone's getting along and working together.#it only came at the expense of throwing away decades of character work. small sacrifice.#i need to stop posting meta at fucking 5 am.#no one is going to see this bc i can't be a normal person.#wrote this while watching invincible#which is pretty good so far but man the ending of ep1 clocked me. i was absolutely bamboozled.#i had something else i was going to say in the tags but i lost it.#anyway most of this is a ship post and projecting shit as per usual and yk. not serious comic media.#i'm just silly and gay.
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Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications
So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.
Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.
But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.
Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update
So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.
It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:
"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."
--
"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."
And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):
And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!
And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.
So, let's get this straight.
Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).
There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."
Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.
Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?
but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.
And what's been revealed exactly?
Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)
Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)
It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that
His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him
"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him
Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh
They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this
Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)
And for... what?
In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me
And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)
And now why does this make me mad?
Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.
But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.
But beyond all that. But most importantly.
This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.
I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.
All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.
And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.
Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.
It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.
And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.
"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.
"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.
"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:
"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"
Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.
Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my point is
This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"
And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...
It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.
And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.
Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.
This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).
"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.
Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.
Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?
It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.
And I can't stand it.
#VERY long ramble#<- i mean it. this post is chunky.#I have a lot of thoughts. And they are not positive. MM dev team when i get you.#Narinder enjoyers beware. I do not like your man and it's because of this update.#If anything I said in the post is unclear please feel free to ask and I will elaborate where I can! I tried to make my thoughts#as clear as possible. but i am also a fulltime college student with a keyboard that is currently retaliating against me.#My brain is a little scattered atm lmao. but if I hold onto this post much longer I might just anxiety myself out of posting it.#because nobody else seems to be having these same critiques. Save for my tiny little discord server where we are all very loud haters.#If you don't agree with me that's awesome 👍 please be normal about it tho if you are arguing i'm begging.#if this post gets any amount of traction I'm going to be wary about having my inbox open hkjsdhg#ok now the scary part.#cult of the lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#unholy alliance spoilers#<- i don'tknow if that still needs tagging but jic. also I'm wary of tagging characters on here. so for now i won't.#cotl#ok that's it for now. Runs away. Fast
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How do you think P would react over finding out Reader likes to sing? Is a duet incoming in the walls of Hotel Krat?
P with a lover who's a singer! ☆
↳ Anon this is adorable! I'm tempted to write a fic about something along these lines at a different time, but for now have some hcs :]
➸ Pinocchio finds out you sing on one of his return trips to the hotel. His attention is first grabbed by the sound of the piano, its' notes greeting him upon his entrance, and being the artistically inclined man that P is, he naturally follows it. His attention is secondly grabbed by the faint sound of a voice, half hidden by the keys and only to be properly made out that's yours when he's standing in the doorway of the library. He makes eye contact with Antonia, who sends him a smile before turning back to you, who either hasn't noticed that he's there or simply doesn't care. He supposes it to be the former, too engrossed in what you're doing to pay attention to the outside world.
➸ He, very quickly, ends up the same. Dead glass eyes watch intently as your hands glide over the keys, something akin to life sparking in them as he listens to your voice dance with the music. Pinocchios' initial reaction is that you sound beautiful, look beautiful. Though it would be more accurate, I suppose, to say that he thinks you both look and sound incredibly human. P has never heard anyone sing outside of Vinyls, at least not for long, so being able to not only listen in person but watch as you engage in the act of something as human as music has his gears speeding up. Something in them has changed, he's sure of it.
➸ It should come as no surprise to say that Pinocchio is immensely curious about [and attracted to, in your case] things he perceives as human. This is partially due to the fact that he sees them as a goal, something to work towards and obtain, a barrier to be broken between himself and humanity as a whole. And of course this extends to music and is one of the reasons his vinyl collection is ever growing, why he always finds himself returning to the piano. It is a little hard to tell whether Ps' appreciation of art is something inherent to him or if it merely exists because he thinks it has to. In all honesty it's probably both.
➸ Now, to grow less introspective about it all, Pinocchio also just really loves listening to you sing because it's, well, you. He is undoubtably your number one fan, though he's subtle about it. Gemini is the hype man, much to the embarrassment of P and the amusement of Everyone Else. Honestly it's not even really embarrassment on Ps' part, more of an annoyed "wow I wish you would shut the fuck up!" because Gemini has the talent of being able to bring you into every conversation and you being a singer just adds more fuel to a fire that really does not need it [Pinocchio would one hundred percent do the same though if he was more, you know, talkative].
➸ One of Pinocchios' main love languages is quality time, and honestly you being a singer is perfect for that. Most of his time at the hotel is spent just sitting and listening and watching. Something about your voice makes him feel safe, as weird as that may sound. Maybe it's the affection in it when you sing for him alone, or just how intimate the atmosphere ends up being. He's not even sure if he's capable of feeling comfort, but he wouldn't change whatever's in his chest for the world.
➸ In regards to duets, I think Pinocchio would actually be rather open to the idea. Now, contrary to popular belief he can in fact speak, though he seldom ever does it without prompting. He doesn't really see the point in it if we're being honest, yes speaking is human but his voice is so flat and honestly he just doesn't have a lot to say about things. So it's fairly safe to say P has never sung before, hell he's not even sure if his voicebox can function like that, but nonetheless when you bring up the idea of a duet he's not only willing but somewhat eager about the whole thing. There's really no rhyme or reason for it either, Pinocchio just likes the idea of doing something human with someone who makes it easy to forget he's a puppet.
➸ Now Pinocchios' singing voice is actually rather nice! Though it is, of course, undeniably mechanical. There's something off about it, at times sounding like a crude mimicry of a human, a constant stiffness and roughness to it. It falls into a sort of uncanny valley, however there is also something undeniably endearing about it, something human about how much you can tell he wants to express anything in it. As for sound outside of puppetry, Ps' voice is fairly deep but retains a certain gentleness to it, a smoothness that contradicts the stiffness in a really lovely way. And yes, Pinocchio has a sense of rhythm.
➸ Pinocchio has a strong preference for keeping your duets private. The best way to do that, in his opinion, is when you're both out in the gardens dancing together. Under the stars while everyone else is inside, chest against chest and voices in sync, the gentle twirls and turns as you both slip into your own little world. If you couldn't tell how much he values your duets before, you certainly can now. Kiss him after the song is done, won't you?
#Anyway this post strayed a little from the prompt because I am a chronic yapper I am so sorry#I am also so normal#this is also not as in-depth about the whole humanity and music thing as I would like it to be#but I haven’t finished the game yet so I’m not sure if it has any further relevance later#I still have so many thoughts about it though#This is also probably a little ooc because a] I have not finished the game#as said before#and b] writing is hard </3#lies of p#lies of p x reader#pinocchio x reader#my writing
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Im not THAT obsessed with Coalecr-
#i have tagged posts that have nothing to do with the ship with the ship tag#just without thinking#i wrote a SONG for them (still a w.i.p.)#i have screenrecords of ouaw bits and 80% of them is just any hint at those two bastards#i am so not normal about them#still dreaming i could be THE Coalecroux tumblr blog#but i havent even drawn them kissing lmaooooo#not that thats what defines a relationship yknow#i literally started listening to ouaw bc in one of the shorts i heard theres a cannon gay marriage so i went straight (ba dum tss) to it#they are the start of all of this#and they will be the end#what am i even saying#anyway#coalecroux ramblings#i blame coalecroux for this#kremy lecroux#gideon coal#coalecroux#ouaw#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#jat rambles#gideon x kremy#kremy x gideon#jatmin speaks
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top 3 fave bbys in the burrito show (bonus SUPER LONG tags on how i feel bout the characters)
#my art#boruto naruto next generations#sarada uchiha#shikadai nara#inojin yamanaka#in no particular order except sarada is my fav- i think she shouldve been main focus- girl brings all of og team 7 together at all times#just her family history alone is very interesting and i WISH we had seen a convo with sausage boi about her uncle and just everything#but shes a pretty solid character on her own- VERY good mix of both parents yet still being her own self#shikadai is funny i really like seeing him- hes a sight for sore eyes- bro got EVERYTHING from his dad minus his eyes and maybe hair#his dynamic with boruto being besties is really fun to watch- sarada too- with both shika and sara being geniuses and all#i love inojin's simplicity and how ordinary he is.... its... realistic?#hes artistically talented yes with his ninja art stuff but everything else hes kinda... mundane? at times even bad?#Considering every other prev gen child's got all these cool stuff goin on- i like that hes just... kinda normal... i like that about him#boruto i actually do like as well- he'd make a GREAT support character- i love how big bro he is and how he wants to stand up for others#hes a lot like naruto in that way- and might be a hot topic to say this but i also like how - in his very first arc- boruto hates the hokag#not his dad but internalized that the job took his dad away from him- regardless on criticism i think that concept is really neat#i am not well versed in what the story is now for boruto- ive just kinda picked my snacks on what i wanna watch lmao#but i do wish there was more showings of slice of life for all the kids- cuz they are all really interesting- especially for prev gen's kid#>>wished they did timetravel arc with sarada so we coulda seen young sasuke & sakura interact with boruto and sarada T_T#one last note: borusara is very interesting- but i actually prefer them just being friends- at most friends with crushes on eachother#i do think its cute but i like the dynamic of it being unrequited idk its new for me i just prefer them as friends with crushes lmao#prob cuz they work as characters independently Im not really interested in ANY of the new gen hookin up- borusara is the most interesting#i mean it IS the ONLY one being pushed canonically but i like it- that boruto looks out for sarada and sarada worries for boruto#but ya i wish boruto was like mitsuki in being a side character - i think a LOT more people will find him less annoying that way#though- i REALLY want more sarada and sasuke dynamics being shown- actually the uchiha fam a TON more than what we got#they are just SUPER interesting to me lmao#im a sucker for the emo boy turns soft and has family and bonds with their kids- its one of my favourite things in media#i feel like scraping the ocean floor when im trying to find quality sasuke and sarada art pieces and story stuff#cuz ive exhausted all the content in these past what 2-3 years of knowing both boruto- and now more recently - naruto#(yes im one of those people who knew boruto before naruto- smite me)
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i can't tell if i'm just not paying attention or if mouthwashing just doesn't make any sense
#random thoughts#mouthwashing#watching a playthrough and am on the Big Twist so more stuff may happen or whatever#like jimmy raped anya. none of her behavior before this really like clued this in but whatever#doesn't really. add anything to the story so far. could really replace it with anything and the story would still be the same#seems like it's just there to give jimmy a reason to crash the ship#also don't like that he crashed the ship. curly crashing it made him more of a compelling character for me#like it's established he gives the same answers every time in the mental health check ups#make him like. succumb to the pressures of the job. instead of just being kind of a shitty normal boss#and like. anya doesn't want to give jimmy his check up and be alone with him while he makes up sexually deviant lies. could be foreshadowing#but she asks him to give curly his medicine. she doesn't seem to OBJECT to him becoming captain.#she was also a lot more compelling when it seemed like she was struggling due to the pressures of the job#i like swansea. reminds me of uncle billy from the outcasts of poker flat#his final where's johnny moment is kind of out of nowhere. is it because jimmy has the gun?#i doubt it's about the rape. did jimmy do something else? did swansea find out he crashed the ship?#i wish i didn't get to see curly's face before the crash. like give me some room to ponder dude#daisuke and swansea's dynamic is really fun! especially in the pre-crash scenes#my main problem with anya is she didn't have any single character to play off of. daisuke had swansea. curly had jimmy.#she's just kind of there. and miserable. and sucks at her job#also why is curly still alive??? like she killed herself in front of him but didn't take him out? tf anya#there's like 30 mins left so idk maybe some of my complaints will be rectificed. or maybe mouthwashing just isn't for me#literally my main complaint is the rape subplot so if they do something interesting with that then we're golden
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It's all my fault
#i am so glad i got to the endgame unspoiled that was crazy good#but kabru just immediately flopping over and going 'ah this is all my fault' was the funniest thing#only to become the second funniest thing when Mithrun just immediately got up and went to punch him about it shfhgjgh#still i kinda wish kabru had more than a single panel interaction with this#but the fact that his arm was grabbed (he normally is the one grabbing) and the eyes stayed close (even though they could have looked human)#i dunno just fun#.... also#kabru: why won't you open your eyes#wl!laios: oh I'm about to! (rips apart the sky) they're open now!#anyway silliness aside#it's fun to draw with those textures#my art#alt text#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#dm spoilers#i don't. i don't know how to tag spoilers#i wasn't blocking any#i was just lucky that of all the fun content i saw on my dash before i started reading it none of it gave away this#i hope the rest of y'all are so lucky fhgjgjgh
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Unlucky Clover
... Yeah I wasn't getting to sleep until I posted this. It's been a rough two days, so enjoy the combination of my two Normal brain cells, size scenarios and vampires.
Word Count: 2.1k
CWs: pretty heavy fearplay, and it’s a sizey story with a vampire, obviously mouthplay/vore energy
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The snow began to fall, and Clover quickly ran towards the nearby human house. Luckily, she had plenty of provisions, but she needed to escape the cold quickly or she’d freeze in this weather. As she entered the house through a hole in the siding, she was pleased to discover that it appeared to be heated, and even the space between the walls was warmed thanks to the insulation. As she sat down and curled up for warmth, waiting for her body to recover, she came to a decision that this house would be the perfect new base until the spring.
-
It was early in the evening when Nix noticed that they weren’t alone in their house. It was easy for them to smell the scent of fresh blood, but this was no pack of mice… this blood was human. Following the scent lead to a random wall, against the outside of the house. Perhaps somebody was laying against the siding? thought Nix, but it was far too cold for them to bother checking. Besides, they could wait a few more days before their next meal.
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It took three days for Nix to finally spot the little intruder. They hardly believed their eyes as they saw her running behind their furniture. At first, they thought it was some kind of hallucination, but the scent confirmed that it was definitely real. It seemed like they had a borrower setting up shop in their house.
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It had been two weeks, but Nix had finally spotted the little nuisance again. For the last two weeks, small objects had been disappearing around their house, which they could only conclude was due to their little “housemate”. When they saw her, the little intruder was scurrying towards a hole in the wall, holding a few hair clips in her arms as she ran.
“You know, you’re not very good at sneaking,” said Nix, a playful tone in their voice. They saw the borrower’s spine tingle, before she ran even faster into the hole in the wall.
-
It took Clover a few days to work up the nerve to leave again after that incident. This human seemed to be… more nocturnal than most humans, waking up at sunset and going to sleep before the sunrise. Clover had heard of a “night shift” job, and figured this human must have one.
There were a few other oddities as well, including the human’s distinct lack of food in their pantry, but that wasn’t enough to deter Clover. After all, she was an outdoor borrower, she was able to go out and forage for enough food to last her.
It was almost sunrise, and Clover knew the human was probably on their way to sleep. She just needed some fabric, and she knew the human had dropped a sock behind the dryer a few days ago. All she had to do was get to the laundry room and grab it and she’d have the material for a perfect winter coat.
Making sure that the human was out of the room, she began her trek, moving along the walls of the dark house. She got most of the way through the hallway, in an area with nowhere to hide, before the worst possible thing happened.
There was a moment as Clover stared fearfully at the human, taking in their appearance. This human was pale, that was the first thing she noticed. Their eyes were a bright red, almost seeming to glow, but surely that was just a trick of the light. They wore casual pajamas, just a baggy shirt and short pants, a far cry from the nice suits or dresses the human would normally wear before going out. After what felt like both seconds and years, the human spoke again, the second time they had spoken to the borrower.
“You.”
Clover was thrown off-guard as the human seemed to move at a superhuman speed, wrapping both of their giant hands around the borrower. Cold, was the first thought Clover had. Perhaps the human had been outside recently? No, that wasn’t right. Nothing was right here. Clover stared at the human fearfully as they began to speak.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here? If it isn’t the little thief who’s been running around my house.”
As they spoke, Clover stared, wide-eyed, as she finally noticed the gigantic canine teeth of their captor. It was all starting to click… this wasn’t the house of a human at all…
“What’s wrong, little thief? Cat got your tongue? Or are you incapable of speaking?”
Clover blinked back to attention. Speaking to humans was expressly forbidden… but Clover was never one for rules.
“I… can speak…” hesitantly murmured the borrower, almost too quiet for a human to hear. However, at this point she knew she was talking to no ordinary human.
“Ah!” exclaimed Nix, a clear teasing tone in their voice, “It’s intelligent after all. Well, as intelligent as somebody can be when they break into the home of a vampire.”
Vampire. Clover had known it to be true, but to hear it out loud made her skin crawl. She had heard legends of vampires, humans given a thirst for blood in exchange for immortality. It was said that vampires needed to kill dozens of humans a year to quench their thirst… and humans had a lot more blood than borrowers did.
Nix quickly interrupted the borrower's thoughts as they continued to speak. “Please, I know I’m quite attractive, but surely you know it’s rude to stare,” teased Nix, as they moved the borrower to a single hand, holding the borrower ever closer to their mouth, grinning wide with their fangs out.
“I… I… I…” was all Clover could stutter, as she stared in fear as the gigantic fangs, each one half the size of the small borrower.
“Oh? It seems like the little thief found her voice again. What were you saying?” said Nix, as they moved the borrower even closer.
“I… d-didn’t know…” spoke Clover, who was starting to tremble from fear. From this close, she could smell the faint metallic scent coming from the vampire’s mouth.
“You didn’t know? Didn’t know what, little thief?”
“I didn’t know… you were… a v-v-v…” Clover stammered fearfully.
“Oh! A vampire! Is that what you’re trying to say? It’s so hard to understand you with that stutter of yours,” spoke Nix, playfully poking Clover’s nose (or rather, her whole face) with the index finger of their free hand.
Clover could only nod, her voice caught in her throat. As Nix began to laugh, Clover recoiled back, pressing her body against the far side of the vampire’s tight grip.
“I… I d-didn’t know…” repeated Clover, as if in shock. “A-are you… g-going to kill me?"
“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter what you knew or didn’t, because now you’re here, in the hands of a vampire,” said Nix, a devious smile still plastered on their face.
“Y-you didn’t an-” Clover went to speak again, but was swiftly interrupted by the vampire as they continued mocking the borrower.
“I’ll be honest with you… you smell absolutely delicious, you little thief,” continued Nix, their tone playful yet predatory. “You know, it’s been a week or so since I’ve fed… and while you certainly aren’t a meal, you’d surely be a good little snack…” said Nix, as Clover trembled in fear, staring at the fangs which may soon rip her apart.
This is it, thought Clover. I’m going to die.
“Maybe if I had enough of you… tell me, little one, you wouldn't have any friends nearby, would you?” asked the vampire. They knew the answer, but wanted to hear this intruder admit it. As Clover fearfully shook her head, Nix continued, “Ah, a shame then. I guess you really are all alone, huh? Just you and me, here in this house… far from anyone who could hear you…”
Finally, Clover regained her composure just enough to speak just one simple statement, voice soft and weak as tears welled in her eyes. “I… d-don’t want to die…”
At this, Nix stared at Clover, continuing to grin that sharp grin as their glowing red eyes looked at their captive. They adjusted their grip on the borrower, holding her between their index finger and thumb, which was still enough to keep her completely unable to escape.
“Don’t worry, my dear, it will only hurt for a moment” cooed the vampire, as if soothing a child about to get a needle. They slowly, deliberately raised the now-sobbing borrower to their mouth, bringing her right up to their fang, close enough that the borrower could reach out and touch it. As Clover cowered, she heard the vampire vocalize, a sound which shook their entire mouth, including the borrower now inside it.
“Hmmmm…”
And then, before she knew it, Clover was brought out of the vampire’s mouth, and dangled in front of their eyes by her leg. She would shout in pain, if she had any fight left in her. Instead, she could only stare at the giant red eye in front of her, waiting to see what was happening.
“You know, I was hoping for a little more fight out of you. No yelling, screaming, not even kicking? Just going to lie back and accept your fate, huh?”, said the vampire, in an almost casual tone, a far cry from their tone only seconds ago.
Clover could only continue to wordlessly stare at the vampire’s eye, unsure what they wanted her to say.
“You know, I’ve seen a lot of different reactions to my little games. Begging, pleading, fighting. But you? One weak little ‘I d-don’t want to die’”, Nix said, imitating the borrower’s voice with extreme precision, “and then you just cower. Is that just how you little things are? Ready to accept death at the slightest threat?”
“N-n-no…” was all Clover could say, forcing the word out of her mouth.
“N-n-no” mimicked the vampire, again perfectly mirroring the little borrower’s voice before rolling their eyes and speaking again in their own voice, “Seriously, you have to work on that stutter, my dear, it makes you sound even more pathetic than you already are.”
Dangling by her leg, tears stinging her eyes, and face-to-face with a monster that was now mocking her, the little borrower became almost completely unresponsive. Nix shook their little captive around, before continuing. “You know, if you’re going to be this boring, it makes me wonder if you’re even worth the effort to kill. I was expecting a little more of a thrill than this, weren’t you?”
Clover didn’t respond, until Nix shook her again, their voice growing more firm, “I asked you a question. Weren’t you expecting a little more of a thrill?”
“Y-yes… I mean, n-no…” said Clover, reignited with fear after hearing the change in the vampire’s tone.
“Well, that answer tells me nothing. You know what? You’re officially no fun. Do you know what that means?” asked Nix, that familiar devious grin on their face. Clover desperately tried to hide her face from the vampire, only to be shocked when she found herself being lowered to the ground. After being released, roughly landing on her shoulder blades before flipping around, Clover could only stare up at the vampire, wondering what her fate would be, before Nix spoke again.
“It means that I want you out of my sight. Now.” spoke Nix, though there was still a hint of playfulness in their voice. “Well? Are you waiting for me to pick you back up, or are you going to go scurry away somewhere?”
Clover was... confused. She had just accepted her death at the hands, or rather mouth, of a vampire, and now she was being set free? Despite her better judgment, she fearfully asked a question, taking a moment to compose herself so as not to stutter.
“You’re… not going to kill me?”
Nix leaned down and grinned before replying, “Hm? Did you want me to?”
“N-no, no, I just…”
Nix waved their hand dismissively before replying, “You have until I wake up to get the hell out of my house. After that, you’re fair game. Now scram, and think twice before stealing people’s things again, you pest!”
Clover wasted no time scrambling to her feet and starting to back away fearfully. “Y-yes sir, uh, ma’am, uh…”
“The more you stutter on, the more I’m regretting letting you go,” Nix said, as they turned around and began walking towards their bedroom. “And you don’t want me to regret this.”
Clover understood the message loud and clear, as she ran to her little hidey-hole and quickly packed only the essentials for her expedition to find a new place to live. The outdoors would prove challenging this time of year, but surely it was better than staying with a vampire.
-
Nix chuckled as they entered their bedroom. By now, the little pest was probably down the block. To think, she thought they would eat her. While Nix was a vampire, they’d never drain somebody dry, even a little thief like that. What kind of mindless beast did she take them for? Regardless, hopefully they had given her a good scare, and a lesson on being more sneaky when borrowing. After all, not everybody would be as kind as they were…
#once again: yes i am normal about fearplay why do you ask#in my mind there was an extra scene that got cut for being a bit too much for g/t tumblr but i'm still happy with the end result.#any/all pronouns for Nix btw. there wasn't really room for Nix to go 'im genderfluid' but yeah. their gender is whatever it needs to be.#g/t#giant/tiny#macro/micro#oc tag: nix#g/t whump#tiny whump#horror whump#g/t writing#g/t fearplay#vampire#my writing
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GOD I would HATE to be stuck at a family dinner with them 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I would NOT fucking survive, the vibes alone would do 1000 points poison damage to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Also JUST. JUST.
THE VIBES. ARE RANCID. SHARENA DARLING YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS (ALFPNSE TOO BUT DEAR LORD. Sharena LITERALLY was just told to Don't Speak Unless Spoken To RANCID. RANCID FUCKING FAMILY)
#I SAID I WOULDN'T DOCUMEBT THE WHOLE THING. BUT COME ON#gustav hits alfonse with the 'and' 😐🤨 and if i were him i would be internally exploding instantly.#HENRIETTE HITS ALFONSE W THE 'he missed you soooooo much 😊😊😊😊😊😇😇😇' and BY GOD. IF I WERE ALFONSE#i would SHATTER. LIKE GLASS. INSTANTLY. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#my BITCHASS FUCKING BAD WHO'S BEEN SILENT TREATMENTINF ME FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG#BC I HAD THE AUDACITY TO MAKE A CHOICE?????????? BC I DARED HAVE AUTONOMY????????? FREE WILL???????#ohhhh my god and sharena. SHARENA. DARLING. BELOVED. DEAR. how have you not SNAPPED#girl if i were you this would be my villain origin story.#i mean. if. moe is anything to go by.#gooooddddddddddddd.#HELP THE TYPO IN MY TAGS.... OF 'BAD' INSTEAD OF 'DAD'....... freudian slip. but am i wrong#GOOODDDDD BUT. HAVING. EYES. THAT KNOW. EVERYTHING. THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE#INSANE!!!!!! INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc i DO ACTUALLY BELIEVE HENRIETTE NOW??? WHEN SHE SAYS THAT ABOUT GUSTAV?!?????#SHE'S. the ONLY person in the goddamn fucking WORLD. who would know this. who would be able to read this. what the FUCK#but like THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE HIM ANY BETTER...... gooooddddddd I HATE IT. HATE IT#when the love IS there it's just fucking stupid bc nobody here is normal. about anything. making an endlessly complicated situation#type of shit that has made it so i never believe that anyone genuinely likes me. type of shit that makes me never believe an 'i love you'#UNLESS. if it's from my sisters i trust them w my entire heart. but holy shit it actually took them directly stating it#AS. AN ADULT. AT THIS TIME. for me to actually believe it. and fully actually accept it.#HELP AND ALSO... EVERY TIME GUSTAV CALLS ALFPNSE 'Son.' IT'S.. SO FUNNY TO ME IDK WHY#i just read it in that one voice/cadence. of that katamari post. my gay ass son who i hate. HELP#i need to find that again hold on#but first#fe alfonse#sharena#fe henriette#fe gustav#book 3 replaying#feh
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Also forgot to share this beauty i drew a few days ago
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#hetalia#hws#hetalia japan#hws japan#i need him carnally#what who said that#who said that#i just like giggle and tee hee#I drew this during class and idk why i felt sorta embarrassed cause i always worry i come of as one of *those* people when it comes to japan#like i know its not that deep but ive always been paranoid about itNOOOO NOOO GUYS WAIT NO#IM NOT THOSE ‘OH SUGOI JAPAN IS SO PERFECT AND HEAVEN THEY ARE SO ADVANCED AND I JUST WANNA BE JAPANESE’ NO NO NOOOOOOOO#IM JUST A GIRL WHO JUST LIKES A MANNWHO HAPPENS TO BE THE PERSONIFICATION OF JAPAN HIMSELF#IDK WHY IM SO FREAKED OUT OVER IT CAUSE LIKE#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL ANY NORMAL PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON HETALIA WORLD STARS JAPAN#I SOUND CRAZY#I AM CRAZY#anyway i do love drawing him and i wanna still figure out how to actually draw his body cause i end up making him super twinky#half my drawings kinda do anyway cause i struggle at widening shoulders and chests but I WILL NOT LET HIM BE A TWINK#In my mind he is a upside down triangle ontop of a rectangle like broad shoulders and then the rest of his body is hust a straight shot down#i think mostly his clothes give him different shape languages like seen here like his oants flare out so like its kinda hourglassy#anyway imma shut up now i must attend to my duties
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.
I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.
And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.
If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.
I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.
#i am so normal about the elves of cuivienen feeling the betrayal worse than anyone in aman including feanor and co#they PROMISED safety from Morgoth and orcs. they PROMISED beautiful lands without sorrow. they PROMISED all that and down the line#decided Mogoth had played pretend well enough to warrant him probation during which he immediately killed again#returns to the east and sullies what beauty had been left. and then even from afar he manages to hurt those from cuivienen with the WoW#dont get me wrong i think the cuivienen elves knew there had to be war against Morgoth for him to be defeated. but the fact that the valar#decided not to only abandon those of beleriand for over 5 centuries before that AND once the war is won also abandon#those of cuivienen to watch their beloved lands drown without as much a warning must sting.#i want there to be a concious decision of 'you abandoned your promise to us twice why should we ever trust you again even in your own lands'#a 'you promised our people who folowed you safety. you didnt deliver. you promised us freedom from morgoth. you didnt deliver. in fact your#inadequacy and decision to let him loose made everything worse for us in the east. why should we ever listen to anything you say'#and thus a concious effort to shed association with Aman as the Valar govern it. they cant leave. the way is shut. but they can establish#a sticking to their own tongue and traditions without the interference of the Ainur. they've done enough. not enough and yet quite enough.#the avari are welcome should some be reborn.#i never know if i want those of cuivienen to be reborn in aman or fade into unexistence entirely both have merit and sexy hcs#but if any were reborn i think they would get along fairly alright with the exiles. kinslaying exiles? 50/50 depending on repentance#but anyone who does not believe the valar's words and respects their decision to not ever be associated with them is welcomed neutral-warmly#they teach them songs about cuivienen. the sweet waters. beautiful meadows. the birdsong that sounds extra cheerful. fish in abundance#and in turn they get taught songs about beleriand. bewitched forests. victorious battles. wild rivers. frothy shores.#it is seen as an honour to be taught a song about Cuivienen by the people who sat by its shores once. in their language/dialect/whatever#instead of in sindarin or quenya. some millenia into the 4th age tou have a surge of ppl speaking cuivienen dialect#it becomes a clear distinction of who still has fondness left for the valar and who would feel indifferent if they vanished suddenly.#this tag essay has gotten way too long again. sorry besties it will happen again.#tag essay longer than the fucking post???? help#tolkien headcanons
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