#I am so normal about fish I swear
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himb <3
#arapaima#pirarucu#fish#i love fish#freshwater fish#the first time I draw in years and it’s a fish#I am so normal about fish I swear#this is just becoming a fishposting blog at this point#fishposting#artwork#digital art
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ok yes but have you considered i am a fish inside a birdcage my brother always sings me songs
#i am so so normal about this song i swear#ok to reblog#textpost#text post#music#song#fish in a birdcage#fish#lyrics
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#and the song references the greek shield on the album cover which shows justice leading a soldier #saying I will bring this man back and he will have his city and move freely in his father's halls (op how could you leave this in the tags!!!)
the mountain goats’ new song fresh tattoo is soooo breq/seivarden coded like
very “picking up a half-dead soldier off the street and dragging her along on your quest for justice” core
#oh god two of my biggest weaknesses the mountain goats and imperial radch#(i'm still just throwing autoclave at all my nd and not-quite-human and struggling-to-see-themselves-as-a-person/-as-loveable blorbos)#but thissss#oooohhhhh YOU ARE SO RIGHT OP#i hadn't listened to this song yet and just reading the lyrics i was like 'YES!!!! this song is about Them'#and now i'm listening to it and oh GOD the vibes i love the mountain goats and this FEELS so breq#'i gave you an answer that i'd thought you buy' is THE vibe for the way breq deals with seivarden pre bridge incident oh god#headed for a season in exile as the oracle predicted.................. (something something amaat something something)#let the future flood right in............ oh god i can be normal about this i swear#i hope its okay that i added your tags op!!!! i'm just. i'm just going insane about all of this sorry#i was going to ask for the breq playlist but i found it on your blog and. oh god it has salt and the sea#and in our bedroom after the war!!!! and o my heart!!!!!!!#oh god op i haven't listened to it the playlist yet but i love it already#imperial radch#ancillary trilogy#playlist#edit: OH GOD i am listening to the playlist now and just. oh god. 'oh my heart it's a fish out of water; it's a fish on the rocks'#-> my heart is a fish hiding in the water grass <-#oh god i get it now op#okay it's going crazy about this breq playlist hours#(edit edit: i realized that this seems very much like a listen in the right order playlist. so i did. halfway through and i am still GOING#INSANE! maybe it's partly because this is very much my taste in music but this might be my favorite fandom playlist i've ever found)#(i keep getting hit by lyrics left and right oh god it's so so good) ('just put your backpack on your shoulder be the good little soldier')#('you spoke my language and touched my limbs it wasn't difficult to pull me from myself again')#('oh captain let's make a deal where we both say the things that we both really feel')#('in your eyes i see the eyes of somebody i knew before long ago - but i'm still trying to make my mind up am i free or am i tied up')#(in your eyes i see the eyes of somebody who could be stong tell me if i'm wrong - and now i'm pulling your disguise up#are you free or are you tied up?') oh god op i'm so sorry for having a breakdown in the tags of your post but. yeah.#this playlist SLAPS great work
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Don't Poke the Bear | Jongho [NSFW]
Choi Jongho - ATEEZ
Rating: M (18+) MDNI
Word Count: ~6.9k 🫢 (over 2k of it is smut btw)
Pairing: Bear-Hybrid!Jongho x Fox-Hybrid!AFAB!Reader
Genre: Hybrid AU!, Historical/Period, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Some Plot, Strangers-to-Friends-to-Lovers
!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!
Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Pet Names (Sweetheart, Sunshine, Precious, etc.), Swearing, Kissing, Hickeys/Marking, Heat/Rut, Pheromones, Oral (M! Receiving), Deepthroating/Face-Fucking, Big Dick! Jongho (of course), Size Differences, Size Kink, Praise Kink, Cockbulge, Over-Stimulation, Unprotected Sex (This is pre-birth control so…)
Trigger Warning: There is mentions of guns in this, but its just a revolver and the reader shoots it once at a target. That's it.
Author's Note: This is NOT Omegaverse, but there is a mention of Jongho being an 'alpha'. They have animals ears and tails. Jongho is bigger here than he is in real life, probably about 6'5"/196 cm, since he's a bear hybrid. This is set in about Wild West times, so around 1830s, but it's not a Western themed story.
I will be doing all the members and uploading them as I go. I normally like to upload a whole series at a time but I'm trying to pack to move.
-> Series Hub <-
🦁 Hongjoong's 🦁
🐕 Yeosang's 🐕
🐯 San's 🐯
Revised (1/31/25)
I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! Share, even if its to the other sites! Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!
When your stomach groans, again, you groan back.
"Shut up, I'm looking." you tell it. You get no response. Sighing deeply, you stumble a bit on a root, catching yourself with a hand on the tree trunk. You have no idea why, but for the last two days, you haven't been able to find any prey. Sniffing in distaste, you hold up an arrow, looking at the completely clean arrowhead. Letting your arm down, the arrow lays at your side. You glance down at your other slack arm; bow held in that hand. What's the point of having a weapon if there’s nothing to kill to eat with it? You wonder what full foxes do when they can’t find anything to eat. Starve? No, the probably move on to a different area. A bit harder to do that since you settled in the area nearly four months prior and have no intention of leaving. Your semi-permanent shelter ss finally finished, nice and cozy, and you love the area you’re in. Normally it’s simple to get food, just step outside your hut and shoot a hare out in the field. When you’re not able to see anything, you instead go deeper into the woods that your home lies at the edge of. But there’s even less there, if it’s possible. You’re getting closer to the river, but you aren’t very good at fishing. Hitting a rabbit or squirrel with an arrow is actually much easier than a fish. Might have to try though, since you’ve run out of food completely the day prior. It’s late fall, getting closer to winter, and so there isn’t really anything to forage for either. Everything has been eaten by deer or other animals. Since you’re hungry, so hungry, your steps are uneven and clumsy.
"Fuck!" Your long tail catches on the thorns of some bush, knocking you down to your knees. Yanking the appendage to free it, you yipe, looking back at the branches to see a tuft of rusty orange fur left behind. Running your hands over your tail, the spot isn’t noticeable, but it stings. Scratching the back of your ear at the top of your head, you get back up, continuing toward the water. You can hear the river water rushing over some rocks, most likely a short waterfall. Before you can even see the river though, you see a building to your left. Getting closer, it’s a fairly large shelter, much bigger and nicer than yours. An actual cabin rather than a weird cross between a tent and a hut. It’s most likely older and whoever built it also most likely had known what they’re doing. What really catches your eye though, are the fish strung up on a line between two wooden poles. Your mouth waters, one of the giant salmon will easily feed you for a week if you cure it properly and ration it. You feel your tail wag a bit at the thought, and you eagerly stalk forward. The thought of who had caught the fish, and who the dwelling belongs to doesn’t even cross your mind, way too hungry.
"Come to mama~" You giggle and right when your long claw-like nails get close to pulling the fish off the line, someone grabs the back of your shirt. Yelping in shock, you feel your feet leave the ground, just an inch or two, your captor easily lifting you. Your legs scramble helplessly in the air as you flounder, hands going to grapple at the one holding you. The person lifts you even higher in retaliation and so you wiggle and squirm harder.
"Let me go!" you shout and that seems to work, but then you land hard on your butt.
"Ow, fuck!" You scramble to get up and to your feet, spinning to see who the heck has grabbed you. What human is stupid enough to mess with a fox hybrid- Bear. Bear hybrid, that's who. Not a human. Your ears press back and down against your skull, tail tucking between your legs, no longer snapping back and forth. The male raises an eyebrow, and you get a good look at his face. He’s gorgeous. All of him, really, not just his face. That, though, very handsome. He’s covered from the neck down in dark brown hide, the arms and collar of his jacket lined with thick fur. You don’t know if his pants are so tight from their cut or if his thighs are just that thick, and you honestly hope for the latter…Or do you? He’s thick with muscle all over. He shifts his stance, hands resting on his belt, standing over you, staring. The dominance emanating from him strikes through you, and you aren’t sure if you should feel scared or aroused. You have met bear hybrids before, that's not what’s doing it, it’s something from him. It makes you wonder…
"A-are you an alpha or something?" you boldly ask. There are some predator hybrids that seem to be more in touch with their animal nature than others, and he sure seems like one of them.
"I'm not a canine." He speaks down to you, literally, he’s fucking massive. The top of your head barely reaches his chin.
"I-I know…"
"Only canines have alphas."
"Then what are you?" He scoffs at your brazen question.
"Why should I answer, vixen, when you came here to steal my food?" He starts to walk toward you, so you pounce to the side, turning to keep your face toward him. You watch his hands go to the hook holding the salmon, taking it down off the line. Your tail whips once, nervously, and you hope he can’t hear your heart pounding. You aren’t sure how you feel about him, how to feel about how much bigger he’s than you, stronger. He smells so fucking good too-
"I-I'm hungry, okay?! I haven't had any meat in two days!" You try to defend yourself, your voice cracking pitifully.
"You say that like you don't normally steal." His sneer is evident in his tone, and you scoff hard.
"I don't!"
"You're a fox, right?"
"Not all foxes steal! You big…brute!" He doesn’t respond, just walks around the pole holding one end of the line, toward the front of his cabin.
"H-hey!" You know you should have taken the chance to flee, that would’ve been smart, but instead you trail after him. Those fish look too good, and you notice he’s easily carrying the string of five over his shoulder. His big boots thump across the hard, cold ground, your much lighter feet barely making a sound. When you catch up to him, coming around the cabin, he’s laying the fish down on a wooden table it looks like he might have made himself.
"D-do you cook them?" Your mouth waters. You prefer your meat cooked, that’s probably the human part of you, but the fox part of you can eat raw if necessary.
"I-if…If I do something for you in return, can I have a fish?" you ask, stepping forward carefully, tail snapping behind you. You’re pointing at the one you had been reaching for, which is the smallest one.
"What could you do for me, vixen?" He’s standing back up again, hands on his belt. Why does he have to just stand like that? There’s no need. Does he just stand like that normally? His question registers then, and your brain kicks into gear trying to think of an answer. You’ve offered help, but that doesn’t mean you know what kind of help. That’s his part of the exchange.
"What do you want me to do…he-bear?" For the life of you, you can’t think then of what a male bear is called. He huffs at your attempt to match his confidence. Your eyes flit to his chest, shirt struggling and stretching over his chest just from him breathing.
"Jongho."
"What?"
"My name. Please don’t ever call me 'he-bear' again."
"Oh…Jongho. Uh, I'm (Y/N)."
"Can you climb?"
"Climb?"
"Can you climb a tree?"
"Oh, yes." Your eyes follow his thumb when he jabs it toward his left. You glance around him toward where he’s pointing, an apple tree. It’s huge, you wonder how long it’s been there.
"Go get as many as you can." He picks up a basket from under the table, easily chucking it toward you. You manage to catch it, maybe fumble with it a bit, and head over to the tree. Maybe you can grab a couple of them…
"Where did you get an apple tree?" You call behind you as you approach it, "aren't they normally in human areas?"
"I sell to humans."
"Sell? Sell what?" You wrap your tail through the handle of the basket, curling it up to hold it up as you climb up the tree. He’s probably tall enough to get at the apples himself, but it’ll be easier to get them climbing.
"Furs. Wood and metal work." You sit on a branch, putting a narrow branch through the handle of the basket to hold it for you as you pluck a red fruit off a twig. It smells so good, but he’d notice if you take a bite. Dropping it into the basket, you continue, noticing which ones aren’t quite ripe yet.
"Metal work?" You peer through the branches of the apple tree, noticing a side building right next to his cabin, a blacksmithing forge inside.
"Wait, you've worked with full humans?"
"Yes."
"Have you seen those little guns they carry? That don't need powder and a ball?" You have picked about ten apples by then, balancing on the branch to try and reach an eleventh. He doesn’t respond, so you glance past the leaves to where he’s at the table, and he goes to a pouch on his belt. He opens it, pulling out a revolver.
"Woah!" You beam in awe, not paying attention to where you’re crawling on the branch. You yelp as it bows under your weight, making you lose your balance. You close your eyes, ready to fall. It isn’t too far, you won’t die, but it sure will hurt.
"Oof!" You do land on something hard, just not the ground. The wind gets knocked out of you as you fall face down onto Jongho, middle on his shoulder. While you catch your breath, coughing a few times, he unlatches the basket and carries both you and it back over to the table. The basket is set on the end of the table, and he then lets you down to sit on the other end. Even up on the surface, you have to tilt your head to look him in the eye. You rub your sore middle, though it’s much less painful that it would’ve been to bellyflop onto the ground. The bear notices your eyes flit to the little gun still on the table, and he sighs. Grabbing it, he pops the rotating barrel out, shaking the little bullets out, then hands you the unloaded gun. Taking it carefully with both hands, you’re surprised at its weight. It’s heavy for its size, but much lighter than a musket. He continues to work on the fish, cleaning them or something, eyeing you as you curiously look at the revolver.
"Man, this would be so much easier to hunt with."
"It's different than aiming a bow." He scoffs, swiping the weapon back from you, reloading it.
"Show me?"
"You're awful demanding." Jongho scolds, holstering the gun back to his belt. You sniff in disappointment, swinging your legs a bit from where you sit up on the table, watching him work.
"If I feed you, will you leave me be?" he asks after a few minutes of silence.
"No." You like to be honest. He sighs, putting his thin knife down.
"I'll leave you be if you show me how to shoot it."
"Why does it matter if you don't have one yourself?" You shrug in response. He can’t decide if you’re annoying or endearing. He stands up straight, stepping closer to you, so he’s standing right before you. Your ears droop a bit, tail lying flat from where it had been thumping on the wood softly. He’s so freaking big. You feel a familiar twinge in your tummy, and your thighs clench. His eyebrow raises, nostrils flaring slightly and your eyes widen in panic. Can he smell your arousal? So easily? The bear sighs deeply then, "Come here." He takes the gun back out and you hop off the table to follow him as he heads around a big tree. When you come around as well, you see that there’s a circle carved into another tree a bit in distance.
"Hold it up, arm straight out, level it. Then, line this little piece up with where you want to shoot." His thumb flicks at the sight piece.
"Pull the hammer back with your thumb, then press the trigger with your index finger. You'll have to press harder than you think." He snaps the barrel back out, rotating it to check the rounds, then snaps it back shut, handing it to you. You follow his instructions, keenly aware of him at your back. You stand much the same way you do for archery, but he corrects you. He brings his hand to your bicep, bringing it up so you grip the gun with both hands instead. To compensate, you turn your body a bit more toward the target. You click the hammer back, that takes more strength than you thought it would too, and wrap your finger around the trigger. Breathing in, steadying your aim, you line the sight up. As you breathe out, you press hard like he coached, and the gun goes off. It’s so much louder than you expected, your ears flattening to your skull, body recoiling along with the weapon. You stumble back into his solid chest, ears ringing painfully. You narrow your vision toward the target. You didn’t get a bullseye, but you do at least hit inside the target circle. That feat pulls your body out of shock from the loud bang, and you beam, cheering.
"I did it!" You jump in excitement, and he quickly takes the still smoking gun from you. He holsters it once more and can’t help but let out a small huff of laughter as you cheer for yourself. Endearing, he decides, cute even.
~θωθ~
"D-do I rotate it?" You look over at him, sitting on a log bench by the fire pit. He’s cleaned, filleted and skewered the salmon, letting the pieces roast by the fire. Jongho had set them in the dirt, skin facing the flames more, tilted toward the heat.
"It's fine." He’s brings the basket of apples over and you watch him roll one in his hand. His eyes flicks to your face, wanting to see your reaction, as he grips the fruit with both hands, splitting it perfectly in half with ease.
"Woah!" Your face lights up and he can’t hold back a smug grin. Holding the two halves easily in one hand, he hold it out for you, and you spring to your feet from your own log bench. Skipping over, you take the two halves from him, the scent making your mouth water. Sinking your teeth into the flesh, you groan in delight. You haven't had the pleasure of eating an apple before. Crab apples, yes…but those are absolutely horrible. The bear can tell you were honest about being so hungry with how fast you devour the fruit. When you’re left with the two pieces of the core, you hiccup. Your face grows more and more displeased with each hiccup, growing annoyed with the process.
"Geez." You breathe hard, trying to control your throat, but you hiccup again, a slight pain blossoming in your chest.
"Fucking hell." You swear softly, then let out another hiccup.
"Geez!" You groan, then your tummy rumbles, and a gas bubble erupts. You keep your mouth closed to muffle the noise, minding your manners, and the seizes stop.
"Thank goodness." You sigh and Jongho can’t help but chuckle. So cute. He’s a little upset with how cute you’re growing to him.
"What?" You whine a bit, feeling self-conscious.
"You're cute, vixen." Your tail snaps in embarrassment.
"I have a name." You correct coyly, not able to look at him, face warming. You almost add on 'he-bear', but he’d said please…
"(Y/N), you're cute." He fixes his compliment, and you sniff, secretly pleased.
"And?"
"And what?" You aren’t sure what you’re expecting, honestly.
"Uh…"
"Whatever, sweetheart." The little pet-name isn’t condescending or patronizing, and your entire body freezes.
"D-don't." you whisper, and he raises a brow in question, looking up from a second apple.
"Don't?"
"D-don't call me that…"
"Why not?" The bear smirks; you can see it from your peripheral. Your cheeks are quite red by that point. You don’t answer, focusing on watching your fish cook. He let it go, chuckling softly to himself.
~^///^~
"It's hot-" He warns, but it’s too late. The hot fish stings your tongue, but you’re much too hungry to care. Waving the skewer it’s on, like that would cool it off, you blow hard on it a few times, then take another bite. You devour the fish, much like the apple, he’s surprised you eat the whole filet.
"T-Thank you." You wipe at your mouth with your forearm, handing the skewer back to him. He takes the whittled bone from you, and it seems you’re getting ready to leave, picking up your bow and quiver.
"You live nearby?"
"Oh, yeah, just a few meters that way." You wave in the general direction. The sun is setting by then, the cold setting in.
"In that half-tent?"
"It’s a hut!" You try to defend your shelter since you built it yourself. He stands then, and you wonder what he’s doing, coming toward you.
"There's a storm coming, I'll help you get your things, you can stay here tonight."
"A storm? Like snow? Already? Wait, what!?" He walks past you toward your home and you gape after him like the fish you just ate. Shaking your head to gather your senses back, you trot after him. You’re a bit out of breath by the time you get to your dwelling; you can’t even see the fire from his place.
"B-but this is where I live, I'll be okay!" You seem to be trying to convince yourself of that as well.
"Get your stuff." He jerks his head toward your hut, and you huff but do so. If there really is a snowstorm coming, you’d prefer the much sturdier and less drafty cabin he has. You’re able to gather everything except the structure itself with his help and he goes slower for you on the way back. You wonder how the heck you’ve never noticed his cabin before, but you also never go this far into the woods, let alone so close to the river. As you pass the cursed bush that tore a chunk of your fur out, you sneer down at it, wrapping your tail around your leg to keep it safe. You hear him huff out a laugh, and you glare at his rounded black ears, one of them flicking slightly. At first, you were a bit ruffled by his suggestion, but you’re growing grateful as some snowflakes start to fall. Plus, ultimately, he is being kind. You thought he was going to set you up in his smithing lean-to, or maybe even just under the shelter of the roof over his porch. But he opens the door to his cabin, bringing your stuff with him. The bear looks over his shoulder at you, waiting for you to follow. Once inside, you look around. To your left is a table with a water jug and basin and to the right a large cedar chest. There’s a sitting area with an actual couch and a fireplace. Right across from the door on the other end of the one-room cabin is the bed, big and with a mattress. It must really pay to trade with humans… You watch him set your belongings against the wall near the bed and you notice a little side room.
"You have an attached outhouse?!" You gape at the luxury, and he hums. Not really an outhouse if it’s attached, but… You set your stuff you carried next to his load and look around his home more. The couch looks comfy, but you have little perspective, never having the luxury of sitting on one. It does beat sleeping on a bedroll, you assume, and you’re a bit worried that you won’t want to go back.
"I take up a lot of the bed, but you're tiny." His comment throws you out of your thoughts, nearly giving yourself whiplash with how hard you turn to look at him.
"W-what?"
"It's going to get really cold, even with the fire on. It'll be warmer." He states and you realize he’s right. Still, your insides flop at the thought. It’s hard enough being around him, and how good he smells, let alone in a room that smells mostly of him. Can you really handle sleeping next to him…just sleeping? You swallow, you aren’t due for a heat for a while, but he’s extremely attractive. The fact that he’s a bear should lessen your desire, but no. The unfamiliar, the new experience, the size difference…
"What are you thinking about, sunshine?" Jongho walks past you to shut the door, pulling out a small box. Matches. You’ve never seen them at work before, so you step closer, watching him scratch the little red end of the wood piece on the side of the box, flame erupting out of thin air. He lights the oil lamps he has on the wall, casting a soft warm glow around the room, seemingly right as the sun sets beyond the horizon. You don’t make a comment on the little pet-name, though it isn’t much easier to process than 'sweetheart'.
"C-can't you just use my name?" You sniff, moving around him to sit on the couch. The leather-covered cushion sinks under your butt, and you let out a silent 'wow' at the plush feeling. The bear chuckles, moving around to join you on the couch. You scoot over to allow him room, he takes up much more space than you. He rests back, arm slung to the side over the back, right behind you. His feet are firmly planted on the floor, knees wide, and he sits on the couch likes he’s a king on his throne. The confident dominance wafts over you again and your core pulses. Biting your lip, you look away from him quickly, and Jongho smirks at your sudden rigid posture. He watches the tip of your tail as the end thumps lightly on the cushion. You squeak when he carefully runs his fingers over the orange fur, right where you had a tuft ripped out.
"What happened?"
"You can notice it?" You whine, looking at the spot, trying to ignore that he’s still touching your tail. His eyes flit to your ear as it flicks in annoyance.
"It got snagged on some thorns earlier."
"Does it hurt?"
"Stings a bit…" You flinch when a sudden gust of wind rattles the door and shutters on the window. Your ears twitch when a distant rumbling travels through the air.
"Thunder?" You could have sworn that's what you heard, but that would be weird. When it happens again though, it’s confirmed.
"It can thunder in a snowstorm?" You wonder aloud and the bear hums, fingers once again stroking over the fur of your tail. Goosebumps rise on your skin, the fur raising a bit along with it.
"I'm gonna use the outhouse!" You stand up quickly, pulling your tail out from under his hand and curling it toward yourself. As you do so, you can smell your own arousal, and hope that since your pants will be back up, he won’t be able to as well. Going back into the house, you sigh at the warmth, he already has a fire going. It’s rapidly getting cold, and you can hear the wind whipping along with a low distant rumble. Despite the fire, you know he’s right about it getting pretty cold. Gently sitting on the edge of the mattress, you try to ignore how soft it is, and take off your boots. Slipping off your vest, you climb up further on the bed, bouncing a bit in delight.
"Move over, sunshine." He motions for you to follow, since you’re in the middle of the bed. You bounce on your butt to do so, too enamored with the mattress to really focus on him.
"Ah!" You squeak when he wraps his arm around you, lifting you with ease so he can pull the blankets out from under you and back. Your face is rapidly heating along with your lower stomach, and you finally look over him as he gets in the bed. He’s taken off his bear hide coat, leaving him in just a light brown henley shirt. The ends of the sleeves are rolled up to rest right below his elbows and you marvel at the evident muscle there.
"Sleep, (Y/N)." Jongho lays back, adjusting his head on the pillow and you slowly follows suit. You nearly moans in delight at the feeling of the mattress cradling you, the pillow under your head just as soft. Yep, you never want to sleep on a bedroll again. You’re startled out of your thoughts when he pulls the blankets up and over you, rolling onto his side so he can face you. He props himself up on his palm, elbow to the bed, delicately resting the end of the blanket up near your chin. Your face burns hot, and you nestle into the bedding to hide.
"Th-thank you for letting me stay here for the storm…" You mumble and he hums, finally resting down himself, still facing you. When he pulls the blanket up and over himself, you feel the heat rapidly rise under the covers. You’ve never felt so warm and cozy in your life, and you suddenly feel your weariness. Blinking, trying to stay awake, you look over his face, vision hazy from sleepiness. He’s…
"So handsome." You mutter, barely registering you said it aloud, and he hears it. The bear smirks at the compliment.
"Gets some sleep, pretty girl." His clawed finger comes up and brushes a strand of hair off your face and you can’t help but follow his instruction.
~UuU~
Probably only an hour or two later, you’re forced awake by a flash of light, a booming rumble, then the sound of wood snapping. You had rolled over onto your stomach, so you prop yourself up on your elbows underneath you. The blanket hangs over your head, but you can see through the shutters of the window to the side of the bed. You had heard of a thundersnow before but had never experienced one. You shiver at the cool air hitting your face, it’s so nice and warm under the blankets. Burrowing back under, you roll to your side, facing the bear. You had nearly forgotten he was right there, and you find your face right against his chest. It rises and falls as he sleeps, and you’re a bit surprised he doesn’t snore, like…you know, like a bear.
Swallowing hard to steel your nerves for your next move, you slowly reach out, pressing your fingertips against the hard muscle of his chest. You shiver, wanting to feel over him more, see him…
"Haven't you heard not to poke a sleeping bear, sunshine?" His voice rumbling startles you. It’s deep and rough from sleep and you roll your eyes back a bit at how it makes you feel, and his comment.
"Yeah, and?" You do it again, pressing just one finger against his chest that time, literally poking him. Poke. Poke. Poke.
"Huh?" You feel the bed shift, and he rolls, propping himself up over you on his forearm, pinning you to the mattress. Your hands are clenches into fists at your chest, holding them close to you for security. His face is so close, and you can feel the breath leaving his nostrils. As he looms over you, he shifts his knee up, his thick leg wedging between yours. You shiver, letting out a small whine when his thigh presses against your mound. Jongho smirks, leaning down so his mouth is right by your ear.
"Your decision. See what poking a bear does." You loosen one fist, index finger sticking out, shaking.
Poke.
His large hands suddenly seize your hips, claws slightly digging into the flesh of your ass through your pants. With his grip, he presses your core against his thigh, forcing you to grind over him. You sigh at the feeling; a bit of a whine laced through the exhale. He shifts his knee further forward and hauls you up so he can wedge it under your lower back. Jongho leads you to wrap your legs around his middle, still pressing you down to grind your covered cunt on his upper thigh. That pulls a moan from you, and you gasp hard when he starts laying open-mouthed kisses over your neck and shoulder. A low rumble hits your ears and at first you think it’s more distant thunder, but then you can feel it as you press your hands to his chest. Your fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt, and you moan as his kisses turn to sucking, and he barely digs his sharp teeth into your shoulder. Without his, or your prompting, your hips jump, and he presses into your movement. The bear's cock is growing hard, and your eyes flutter closed when you feel it. Can he even fit?
"Are you sure about this, sunshine?" He pulls away, smirking as he admires the growing bruises he created over your shoulders and neck.
"Yeah, why?" Your eyes meet his as a bolt of lightning lights the room, then thunder rumbles, snow blowing harsh against the window.
"Think your little body can handle me?" Jongho tilts his head, that smirk still there and you purposely move your hips, whining.
"Yes!"
"You sure?"
"Will you just fuck me already?" You nearly shout. He doesn’t answer, but your next plea is silenced as he swallows it, tongue easily wiggling its way into your mouth. Your eyes rolls back as his hands dig into the flesh of your hips, avoiding using his claws too much. When your head starts to swim, he pulls back from the kiss, smirking at the end of your tongue sticking out a bit from your mouth. One hand goes to your jaw, thumb slipping into your mouth, and you eagerly suck on it, tongue avoiding the sharp part of his claw.
"Want something else, sunshine?" Jongho grins deviously as you nod, whimpering. He gets off of you then and you immediately miss not just the weight of him over you, but the heat his body releases. You just stare in awe as he finally pulls the shirt off, and his muscle is clearly from strength, brute strength, not to look good. Though…he does.
"Hurry up, sunshine." His hand grips over the bulge in his pants, and you rapidly sit up, your own hands going to the waist band. He watches calmly as you struggle to gets the button undone and you bite your lip as you get his pants open. His hard cock nearly springs out and you feel your mouth water at the sight, jaw already sore. Your long fluffy tail waves behind you, ears drooping as your small hand tries to wrap around his girth. Can’t even get your fingers to touch and your cunt spasms, telling you it’s good and ready for him. Licking your lips to try and prevent the drool from dripping too bad, you stick just the head in your mouth, tongue eagerly swirling. The salty drop of precum you taste just fuels the fire and your eyes lazily flit up to meets his. The look he gives you nearly makes you whine; you don’t know what bears call alphas, but he sure is one. Jongho's eyebrow crooks up, waiting boredly, and you swallow a few times, then ease him further in. It’s a bit hard to keep your teeth behind your lips with how big his cock is, but he fits. The slight pressure from the sides of your long canines just adds to the pleasure of your hot and wet mouth, drool already spilling from your lips. His eyes watch your tail wave back and forth, chest starting to rumble again as you take more of his cock. The head hits your throat, he’s only about halfway in and you swallow again, tongue eagerly slicking the underside of his dick. Your eyes meet again, and he barely seems phased, so you suck hard, your other hand joining the first to cover more of him. Bobbing your head, you hollow your cheeks, whimpering at the taste of him. His large hand lands on your head, thump stroking the soft skin on the inside of your ear and you shift your posture. Sitting back on your knees more, you widen your legs to lower you some, and let go with your hands.
"You sure, sunshine?" Jongho's smirk has come back and a full growl rumbles through the room when you nod. Sucking air in harshly through your nose, swallowing to try and prevent your gags, he takes charge, easing his cock in himself. When the fat head hits the back, he continues in, groaning as your eyes flutter back. Your breathing is loud and fast, trying to take in enough air so when he finally fills your throat, you can hold your breath for a bit. The spasms of your throat with your gags makes him chuckle and he starts to pump his hips, fucking his cock into your mouth. The slick sounds of your spit and lolling tongue are almost drowned out by the storm, but he can clearly hear your whines. He can feel them vibrating over his dick as well and he paid attention to your breathing and paced his thrusts.
"You thirsty, sunshine?" The bear laughs when your next whine is louder and he grunts, waiting for your breath. Once you’ve inhaled hard, he plunges in, so your nose is pressed to his groin, hot thick spurts of cum going straight down your throat. Your cunt spasms, slick dripping nearly through your pants, clit throbbing as you ride your high against the thick seam. Your vision starts to blur, brain fogging, still swallowing over and over to get all he gives down, and he finally withdraws so you can suck in air. Your throat is raw, sore, but you’d let him do it all over again and thank him for it too. Now that his high had faded, though his dick is still rock hard, he can smell the thick aroma of your arousal. You smell like spring grass and fresh water, laced with the sweet scent of marigolds.
"Lay back, sunshine." He prompts and you flop back onto your back, body shivering, though it isn’t clear from what. There’s a dark stain on the crotch of your pants; he notices as he takes his off. You’re hauled to sit up as he tugs at your shirt, tearing a few runs into it as he pulls it off of you and you squeak as he wrestles your leather leggings off. They flop onto the floor behind him and your scent has grown stronger, making his pupils narrow, brow furrowing. You eagerly wrap your arms around his broad shoulders when he crawls over you, nose running up your throat. Jongho nearly roars as he growls, grasping your thighs, pulling back so he can manhandle you. Your knee ends up at your ear, the other looped over his elbow and your eyes can only focus on his fat cock head pressing against your folds.
"Fuck!" You throw back your head, back arching when he presses in, not rough but not slow either. With all your strength, you lift your head to watch your cunt flutter to accommodate the stretch, core burning. He realizes then maybe he should have prepped you a bit, your pussy is so tight, that if you weren’t so wet, he wouldn’t be able to fill you so easily. You both, at the same moment, notice that there’s already a bulge forming from your stomach, his thick cock not even in all the way. You should have known the minute he kissed you before that you were ruined, but now it’s for sure. You know you’ll be sore in the morning too, but you’ll prefer being sore the rest of your life as his bed partner than to never fuck him again. His deep chuckle morphs into a grunt as he bottoms out, slick spilling from your stretched hole and onto the bed below. If he’d known that you were only about a mile from his home, your cute little face and cute little pussy, he’d have gone and found you himself.
"Jongho~" You nearly howl, hands reaching for him, out of his reach from sitting up straight. Adjusting your legs, while letting your core adjust to him, he presses down close so your hands can find purchase on his back. Your ankles are at his ears, hot breath panting against his lips.
"You like my cock, precious?" The new pet-name is even worse than the others, and he can tell by how your gummy walls pulse harder around him. His plush lips brushes over yours, then he feels you gasp into his mouth with the kiss, his groin pressing against your swollen clit. He watches your eyes glaze over, body falling limp as he pulls his hips back, giving a shallow and weak thrusts, gaging if your body is ready.
"Too much?" The bear coos when you shake your head no.
"More?" He prompts and that time, you shake your head yes. You should have guessed how powerful he could be, but you still aren’t expecting the bed frame to crack against the wall with the first thrust. Your body screams, but no sound leaves you as Jongho moves to press your knees to your ears, each deep, hard thrust forcing a tiny orgasm out of you. Your cunt burns from the stretch and stimulation, and your brain is fried. Good thing you’re out in the woods with a storm raging, because you’re squeaking and squealing, grunts and groans leaving him as well. Jongho rolls forward a bit more, hips barreling his cock down into your folded body, his thick claws leaving deep gouges into the wood as he grips the headboard.
"Want my cum, precious? Huh, want my fat cock to fuck you stupid? Hm?" His tone is incredibly patronizing, and it goes straight to your cunt. You’re leaving a puddle on the bedding beneath your hips and a mix of your drool and tears have left one on his pillow too. The cold from the snowstorm seems to have been completely negated by the heat you feel, from him and because of him.
"Fill me, please! Jongho~" He isn’t sure why that time is different, the way you moan his name, but it goes to his head and his cock, orgasm hitting. Hot waves of cum fill you, the head of his dick pressed right against your cervix, so much slick and release squirting out from where you’re connects. His hips continues to rolls a bit, and you wonder how he’s still so hard after pumping so much cum into you, and your poor pussy is stinging from the countless numbed of times he made you cum. You barely know your name or where you are, let alone what you let slip before.
"Like my big cock, precious?" The bear smirks when your droopy eyes fly open, ears flicking, tail starting to thumb against the bed.
"You did good for me, sunshine." He’s getting into it then, loving your reaction, face reddening further, cunt clenching around him more. It’s like you’re a dog, tail wagging for being a good girl. You yipe when he pulls out from you, the rapid loss takes the air out of your lungs. He rolls you over and you can’t hold yourself up at all, so only his hands on your hips keeps them raised. You cry out when the head of his messy cock meets your equally messy folds once more and he don’t ease in that time. He somehow gets even deeper, hips slapping against your ass so hard that you’re sure the skin will be red and stinging soon. Your own claws gouged into the wood of the headboard, not able to do anything but take what he gives you, sweat coating both your bodies.
"Don't worry precious, I won’t break you." The bear laughs, grinding his cock deep, as you come once more, the sting is fading into pain, and you fear he can go much longer.
"Just. A. Bit. More." He grunts, chest rumbling and falls over the edge again, the heat inside you reignites as more hot white paints your core.
"Going to stay here with me? Be my cute little vixen?" His sudden question barely registers in your head, exhaustion taking over.
"Okay~"
-> Series Hub <-
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Taglist: @thunderous-wolf
#ihavethedreamies#kpop#kpop fluff#kpop smut#kpop x reader#kpop fanfic#x reader#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez#ateez fluff#ateez smut#ateez jongho#jongho fluff#jongho smut#jongho x reader#jongho fanfic#choi jongho
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Hunting Your Soul Chapter 3 🫀Y/N🫀
Trigger Warnings: Stalking, feelings of uncertainty.
A thud below causes me to wake up out of a restless sleep. It unnerved me to find someone had sent me a gift and I didn't know who they were or what they wanted. I sighed and rubbed my face when I heard the back door slam shut. I bolted up out of bed and went to the window to look at the garden. No one was there. My heart thumped in my chest as I felt a rude awakening. Someone was in my house. Someone who shouldn't be. It could have been my parents but they were not back yet. They were on their anniversary holiday so there was no one in the house. No pets. No fish. Nothing. Sighing. I got up from my bed and put on my slippers to head down the stairs. I turned the light on in the kitchen to look out of the window but I saw nothing. Stupidly, I opened the back door and stepped out into the cold breeze. This time the air felt normal. It was a bitter cold but it was nice. It was soothing considering what just happened until I saw a shadow on the grass. Someone was standing on the roof watching me. Slowly I turned around but they were gone in a heartbeat. "Come out," I asked. It was stupid of me to call out because nothing answered. "Please," I begged but nothing happened. I was frustrated now and was worked up over nothing. I got worked up over my Grandmother's sick fantasies. She was like a young adult obsessing over demonic creatures.
I did try to get back off to sleep but I found it difficult. It felt like someone was watching me sleep. Yet every time I woke up there was nothing in my room. It was like they were playing with me. Haunting me. Hunting me. I didn't even want to touch the books they got me. I didn't trust them. It felt like, if I touched them they would burn. I didn't want to be burnt. I even phoned my mother to see when she was due back but she reminded me for the seventh time not till the end of next week. My mother believed it could be my paranoia of living on my own that I was feeling worried so my mind was playing tricks on me. It was true I did feel that way. "Look. Duck. If you're feeling frightened you could always stay with your Dad's mum. She loves having you around." My mother told me. "I know Mum. I am probably being silly. But I swear the back door shut." I told her. I was stressing out about it massively as I poured myself a glass of water. "Did you lock the back door? You could have had a burglar." My father stressed in the background. I could hear my mother roll her eyes. "She doesn't go in the garden, Jim. The back door is probably still locked. It was probably the wind. We do live on the coast." My mother reminded him. "Look, Duck try not to worry it might have been your imagination. Try not to worry." "Yeah, I know Mum. If it happens again I'm moving in with Grandmother. Permanently." I told her. When I hung up I stared at the counter top wondering why I never told my mother about the package. I should have but my father would hit the roof. My mother would have ended her holiday to come back and see me. Maybe it was best to talk to my grandmother for her advice, but I swear to the lord above if she mentions some form of supernatural being stalking me I'm going to cry.
When I arrived and unlocked the door to my grandmother's house I saw her in her usual position. On the armchair with a werewolf book in her hand. A peach blanket wrapped around her as she read the words on the page. She was fixated. Too fixated to notice I was there. "Grandmother," I called out but she hummed in response. Waving me off. She knew someone was there and assumed it was me as I was the most common visitor. If it was a burglar she would still have the same response to them as me. Wave them off while she was engrossed in her book. I slowly walked up to her and placed my face in front of her. Earning a slap in the face from her book. "What is it you want?" She scolded me. "Someone was in my house last night," I told her. "Really? Why do you think, Duck?" I explained about the books that turned up the other day when I visited her. I confessed to her. My grandmother was surprised but listened as I explained someone was in my house. "Vampires!" Grandmother answered making me place my head in my hands. I knew it. I knew she would say it. I should have bet money on it. "Grandmother be serious for once in your beautiful life," I begged her. "He might be protecting you. From something darker. Or he's obsessed with you and wants your blood." Grandmother stated as she poked me. Her words sent shivers down my spine. I felt sick with her words. I felt cold. Her words were not in the slightest bit helpful to me. "Grandmother, do you read dark romance?" I looked at her smirk and cringed, "Grandmother that's-" "It's not disgusting. All women of all ages need a bit of hot sexy time in their life." She told me. "There's a word for it. It's called spice." I told her as I got up to make a cup of tea in the kitchen. I looked out her window to see the beach in front of her home. It was busy. Any one of those people who were facing this way could be the burglar or they weren't. I went outside into her garden and stopped. I closed my eyes and listened to my senses. I felt something musky come towards me. I felt its breath. When I opened my eyes it was gone. They were gone or so I thought.
18+ Taglist for those who are not turning back
@catlove83 @itsyourleilei @whatudowhennooneseesyou @leeknot @estella-novella @fackeraccount @eastjonowhere @cocofia143 @jennibahng @noerinspace @sleepingmissingprincess @ye0lkkot @hiitsmebbygrl16 @shhimhereforsmut @jaeminie-cricket @stayceebs97
#stray kids#skz smut#stray kids x reader#bang chan#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader#bang chan railway#Straykids railway#bang chan vampire#Straykids vampire#straykids vampire au idea
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hello! shy and ancient follower who recently came back to tumblr :33 i saw requests were open for twst, and was wondering if you had any headcanons for merman! vil for mermay! (the new name is so good!!)
SUMMARY: betta fish merman vil and his human!!
COMMENTS: PLS. SOBS. I GOT THIS REQUEST MAY 20TH BUT IM NOT WRITING IT TIL. JUNE 8TH. ITS NOT MERMAY ANYMORE WHY AM I ALWAYS LATE IN MAY
Vil is absolutely a betta fish merman, fiercely independent and very territorial. His fins are large and fan out around him like purple plumage, drifting through the water elegantly.
His teeth are razor sharp, and if you’re lucky you’ll never see them snapping at another merman who dares approach you.
He’ll blow bubbles at you as a way of flirting, since he figured out pretty quickly that his two legged human wasn’t built for fighting. (Which is another common courting ritual between betta fish.)
While bringing him fish is generally a sweet thing to do, if you’re not careful, Vil will eat and eat and eat and eat. The desire to feed and live is far stronger than his human form's desire to eat nutritious, scheduled meals.
Instincts tend to take over when he's in his element. In the water, you never know when your next meal will be, so he’ll consume meat for hours and make himself sick if you bring him too much.
Vil can survive outside of the water for a short amount of time. He uses this time to watch the sunset with you, butting his head up against you occasionally as a sign of affection.
If you stumble across Vil while he’s sleeping, his eyes may be open. This is normal. Don’t worry about it. The first few times it probably confused the hell out of you but you figured out pretty quickly its just one of his quirks.
Vil favors the warmer waters, so you’ll never have to venture into deeper waters to go see him! He’s very touchy when you’re in the water with him, fins fluttering around you like a cloak as his sharp nails glide over your skin.
You swear his scales are brighter with you around. Regardless, he always seems to shimmer.
Maybe it's just for you.
#auburn's fics <3#disney twst#twst wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#vil schoenheit fluff#vil x reader#vil fluff#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twst x reader
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Winters full stopped and stared at the comment. As if it was just on impulse, she pulled her arm up to her stomach and grabbed at it before looking away- clearing her throat “I.. I can only assume what you meant. I’m so sorry. I.. I’m so sorry.” Winters went silent for a moment- biting at her cheek. Part of her hated being more emotional then normal, especially around a stranger but- well— it was the first time she was reminded of everything. First time she could just use the thing to her advantage and be done with it. Bell. Ok. That would help get her mind off of it- yes! Sure! “Well.. it’s mostly details and notes about people and what he could potentially do with them. For example, he wrote and tried to remake your gloves that you showed him. The people he talks about the most by far are probably… hmmm.. Wight, Powerless.. Crisis and Hacker. He rambled about wight for.. well- hours— it made my ears hurt. Some ‘medical miracle’ and ‘he would get to testing it some time this week’. Powerless he talks about fondly for the most part- probably the calmest I’ve ever seen him interact with someone about. Crisis- that’s his girlfriend so like, obviously romantic- but also about gadgets, kinda like what you have. And then hacker.. well..” she kinda teetered off at hacker, whether it was to gather words or because there was no words to begin with- it was unsure..
Are you in the mood for a little guy to be thrown at you? If not it’s totally cool, but I have been thinking about w2 and Winters a little bit, especially with how w2 reacted too talking about the trickster and how winters is cooperating and working with it :]]
you. my friend, have impeccable timing (I just woke up)
but also 👀 I'm down
#fish rps#I’m so sorry for the fact I just doubled the response SOBS#I am normal about bells thoughts on people I swear
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Well Maybe the Octopus was Being a Dick! (Or Tsunotarou tries to do Yu a solid but he misunderstood a joke)
A/N- I am so sorry this is my first post I swear I have real writing ON GOD- EDIT- Made a part 2 with the other guys (x)
Various x Reader
"Human courtship rituals are truly as bizarre as they are fascinating." Tsunotarou muses as you fight with your sleep deprived brain to remember how you even got on to this topic. Today hadn't been a good day, Grim had been in a bad mood, Trein had popped a quiz on you, and Deuce had somehow managed to land you both in detention because he screwed up a potion. By the time you managed to drag yourself back to Ramshackle, you were so tired you were practically falling over, only to find Tsunotarou pouting outside your gate. You didn’t really have it in you to tell him no, so you’d stumbled around the woods outside your dorm for a few moments talking about… courtship? Apparently? You could have sworn you were just talking about some anime Idia suggested you watch. “I never would have expected watching fish to be such a fundamental step in one’s relationship."
“Yeah there’s a thing in my world about it too.” you say thinking about a visual novel you’d played once (or was it thirty?) times. “Some sort of bit about a date where you go to an aquarium and when your person points out fishes they like you jump into the tank to fight them for their affection.” You blink and Tsunotarou suddenly fills your vision, staring intensely into your eyes.”
“Child of man, are you serious about this?” he asks, and you just blink in response. You’re pretty sure you are missing something here.
“Uh, yeah? It was pretty funny I guess.” you say, extremely confused. Tsunotarou simply nods with a look of utmost seriousness on his face.
“I see, how very interesting you are child of man. Fear not, I will make sure you receive the courtship you deserve.” The only response you can think to give is a blank stare, but Tsunotarou is already gone and apparently on a mission.
“Fully intends to do combat for your hand but gets too distracted”- Malleus
He really wants to do this the right way, if fighting the fish in the aquarium tank will show the extent of his devotion then beloved, you need only point at the offending article and it will be turned to cosmic dust. But you’re just too ethereal in the aquarium lighting and he ends up completely forgetting his objective in coming here and follows you around like a love struck puppy the entire time. Whoops, objective failed successfully.
"Claims to know it's a joke, fights anyway"-Jade, Leona
Look, he knows there's no way what Malleus is claiming is even remotely true. Your world might not have any magic, but it sounds pretty “normal” by human standards. Fighting fish for someone’s affection? Un-fucking-likely. Jade enjoys being a mild inconvenience to everyone around him and Malleus really has just given him the best excuse to be an absolute menace. He’s responding to everyone’s complaints with a put upon sigh, lamenting what drastic lengths he has to go to for your affection. Leona’s more the type to directly tease you about it; he shredded Azul’s contracts and left him a crying mess, that’s got to count as beating up a fish right? He’s just waiting on your response, herbivore.
“Shrimp heaven really is now!”- FLOYD
Doesn’t even think twice about it. He’s already obsessed with picking fights with strong people anyway, now you’re telling him he gets to beat people up and win shrimpy’s affection at the same time? Floyd’s kicking up his feet and giggling a little too much for anyone’s comfort, almost like he’s misinterpreted fish to mean friends. Please prefect, Ace is begging you, just give your eel some kisses so he knows you're already his or direct him towards some actual fish before they are fuCkING UNDER ATTACK-
“Claims to know it’s a joke, overthinks anyway”- Jack, Azul, Riddle
Ok ok look, just hear him out on this one. Some cultures do place a significance on ritual combat to win a prospective partner’s affection. Sure he doesn’t THINK you come from a culture like that, but maybe you do and just haven’t mentioned it this whole time and that’s why his obvious not so obvious attempts at flirtation have gone over your head. Because he wasn’t offering to fight fish for you. No now that he tries to say that out loud it sounds even more ridiculous BUT WHAT IF- repeat ad nauseum until he timidly (Jack, Riddle), slyly (Azul) just asks you about it and can’t decide who he’s more embarrassed for: Malleus or himself.
“Brings you actual fish”- Trey, Rook, Ruggie
He has enough of a head on his shoulders to realize Malleus is probably misinterpreting something that was meant to be funny, but hey, it’s given him an idea. For Rook, the idea of hunting wild game to provide you with nourishment is an idea he’s toyed with more than once. If Roi du Dragon deems him worthy of advice, the least he can do as an appreciator of beauty is take it. Trey’s already a fan of puns and dad jokes, and he knows A LOT of ones about fish. Probably invites you over to help him bake it with the excuse of prepping for an unbirthday party and shamelessly teases you the whole time. Ruggie’s the only normal man here I’m sorry to say, he just gets the idea to take you fishing as a date. He gets to spend time with you AND supplement his diet, it’s a win-win situation.
“COMPLETELY ignores the fish thing and rags on your sleep schedule”- Vil
He’s not mad, he’s just disappointed spudling. Really you need to be taking better care of yourself, how else are you supposed to blossom into the beautiful flower he knows you are if you aren’t getting those full 8 hours honey? Tells you to be thankful he isn’t being unreasonable while he’s waltzing through your dorm cursing every energy drink he can get his hands on. He will brute force your circadian rhythm back into shape so help him GOD.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#malleus draconia x reader#malleus draconia#jade leech x reader#jade leech#leona kingsholar x reader#leona kingscholar#floyd leech x reader#floyd leech#jack howl x reader#jack howl#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul ashengrotto#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle rosehearts#trey clover x reader#trey clover#rook hunt x reader#rook hunt#ruggie bucci x reader#ruggie bucchi#vil shoenheit x reader#vil schoenheit
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Bunch of Grumbo incorrect quotes:
Grian : I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Mumbo: I wake up at 4:30 AM
Grian :
Grian : I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
Grian: I can explain.
Mumbo: Can you?
Grian: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
Grian: I was arrested for being too cool.
Mumbo: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
Grian: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Mumbo: Oh, I’m always running
Mumbo: The question is from what
Grian: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Mumbo, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Grian:
Grian: fsh
Grian: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Mumbo: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Grian: Jokes on you, I can't do math
Grian: You love me, right, Mumbo?
Mumbo: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Grian: Mumbo and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Mumbo: Sentences.
Grian: Don't interrupt me.
Grian, talking to Mumbo on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Mumbo: You bet!
Grian: At what temperature?
Mumbo: 535.
Grian: That's the clock.
Mumbo:
Grian:
Mumbo: 536.
Mumbo: Is something burning?
Grian: Just my love for you.
Mumbo: Grian, the toaster is on fire.
Grian: Am I in trouble?
Mumbo: Take a guess.
Grian: No?
Mumbo: Take another guess.
Grian: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.
Mumbo, not looking up from their book: Spear.
Grian: BLOCKED.
Grian: Mumbo...
Mumbo: Oh no, 'Mumbo' in b-flat.
Mumbo: You're disappointed.
Mumbo: Grian was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Grian: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Mumbo: Grian, you ate a chair.
Grian: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Mumbo: Mind your language!
Grian: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Mumbo:
Grian: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Grian: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Mumbo: Alright, what's 30x17?
Grian: 47
Mumbo: That's not even close.
Grian: But it was fast.
Grian: How many kids do we even have?
Mumbo: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Grian: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Mumbo: It’s not a joke.
Mumbo: *sniffles*
Mumbo: I’m a legit snack.
Grian: I prevented a murder today.
Mumbo: Really? How’d you do that?
Grian: self control.
#starsaysgarbage#mcyt#hermitcraft#hermitblr#grian#mumbo jumbo#grumbo#waffle duo#Grumbot#well he’s#sort of referenced
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𝐀𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲
𝐌𝐬.𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥
Pairings- Black!OC x Abbott Elementary Cast, later Black!OC x Manny (Can be read as x Reader though!)
Summary- S1E1-Light Bulb with Naoya Lovel
Warnings- Swearing, kids, mixed race reader( those aren't warnings really, just what to expect)
Jazzie'sNotes!- let me know what you guys think!! I've been really obsessed with Abbott Elementary recently and I'm contemplating if I want to write S1&S2 just to get to the Manny season. I want to get there fast but I know what won't be possible with two seasons worth of writing. Let me know what you guys think I should do.
Word Count- 5,680
“Ten seconds!” Jacob yelled over his shoulder at the people in the room. Melissa and Barbra rushed over to the sitting area in front of the television that played the action news. Naoya sitting the opposite of them on the small couch.
“Oh, we love Action News! Get in early just to watch it.” Melissa said to the cameras. “It just really calms you down after wanting to take a wrench to someone's side mirror in traffic.” She beamed as if what she said was totally normal.
“But the Philadelphia region continues to suffer, temperature in the mid-90s with a heat index approaching 100…” The television said as they all sat and watched.
“Now I’m a proud married Christian woman and I love my husband. But there’s something about that Jim Gardner.” Barba gushed to the cameras. “That non-regional diction.” The woman was practically blushing just at the thought of the man.
“It is so important to support and acknowledge local journalism, okay?” Jacob started. “There’s no agenda here. This is—This is one going, in the streets, powerful stuff.” He explained seriously.
“I get in early just to see my aunt Magnolia on the screen. She’s a news anchor and I like telling her what I like and dislike about her outfits every morning.” Naoya nodded nonchalantly.
“Wouldn’t want to see that dog in traffic.” Jim Fardner said as they all laughed while watching a little Pomeranian dog drive a toy car.
“Yes, Jim.” Barbra agreed, not seeing the confused look Noaya gave her from the side.
“I like the news because that’s when I can say whatever I want and nobody asks any questions.” Mr.Johnson told the cameras with a smirk.
“I’m taking a personal day.” The old man said as he entered the room, looking at the backs of everyone’s heads as they continued to watch the morning news. “Going fishing with my friends. Anyways, toilet papers in the closet.” He said before walking out.
“I hear him.” Naoya nodded, giving the people behind the camera a small smile. “I hear everything. Plus he is a hilarious old man and I wanna know all his secrets. I am this close to cracking him.” She said with an evil smirk making its way into her face as she lined her fingers together to indicate a small amount.
“I saw Jim Gardner once. At the Chipotle.” Barbra smiled bashfully, not taking her eyes away from the television. “Ooh, he orders a bowl so handsomely.” She gushed. Naoya gave the older woman another look, this time more concern than confusion.
It was only a moment later that Jacob was going through the break room fridge, poking around for something. “Who’s branzino is this?” He asked, holding the fish dish in his hands. “This is a very powerfully smelling fish to put in a shared fridge.” The boy complained as politely as he could, closing the ice box with a disgusted look on his face.
“Don’t touch it,” Melissa said looking up from her phone. “I’m making it right at my cousin Annette’s.” She made her way over to have a seat in her usual spot next to Barb. “She thinks she’s the best cook in the family. I’m gonna show her in a non-threatening way. Imma look cuter than her too.” She smirked.
“I have a distant cousin named Annette,” Naoya said, finishing up the delicious breakfast sandwich that she had every morning. “She was psychotic though, used to put poison in the condiments at restaurants.” The younger woman stated, looking off in thought as the rest stared at her in disbelief. “I haven’t seen her in ages. Don’t want to either, she was butt ugly.” She then took a sip of her orange juice.
Just as she finished, Janine walked into the room, putting her bag down on the table in front of Melissa and Barbra. “Guys, the lights in the back hallways have been out for weeks.”
“Thank you for the update,” Melissa said as she applied more makeup.
“What are you wearing?” Barbra asked, looking her up and down.
“And we need to do something about it. Okay?” The short woman tried to sound demanding but it didn’t come off that way. “Uh, Melina, from your class.” She started, pointing at Melissa. “Yeah, she was afraid to come to school this morning. Said it looked like “The Shining.” And I don’t even get how she knows that reference.”
“She loves “The Shining,” Melissa stated.
“It’s a classic movie.” Jacob chimed in.
The camera panes Naoya’s way, who looks at them at their movements. ‘Never seen it.’ She mouthed with a shrug of her shoulders.
“This isn’t okay, alright?” Janine stressed. “And I already talked to Mr.Johnson and he said that there isn’t anything he can do.
“What do you want us to do about it?” Barbra asked the girl tiredly.
“I mean, it can’t be hard. It’s just screwing in a few new bulbs.” The small woman stated.
“Janine, just worry about what can be controlled.” Barbra cut her off.
“Exactly.” Melissa agreed. “All we can do on a hot day like this is our own jobs, anyway.”
“I know what’s right,” Ava said as she barged into the room and made her way over to the coffee machine. “Why is it February and hotter than the devil’s booty hole outside?” She asked.
“Climate Change.” Jacob and Naoya said at the same time, causing them to point at one another in recognition while Ava shot both of them a tired look. “We are living in the middle of its disastrous effects. The permafrost in Russia—” He was about to rant before Ava cut him off.
“Nerd.” The woman said between coughs, which sounded more like a laugh. Naoya rolled her eyes while Jacob just turned back to what he was doing.
“Ava.” Janine started, walking up to the woman who was still laughing from her childish joke. “Can someone from the city come and check on the back hallway lights?”
“Girl, no.” The woman answered, her usual judgmental look on her face. “Do I look like the Kool-Aid man?” She asked, halving around the room. Her eyes stopped on Naoya, who raised her eyebrows in question. “Don’t answer that.” She pointed at the woman, who just shrugged it off. “I don’t have enough juice to manipulate the inner workings of city hall.” The principal continued, looking back at Janine and scoffing before making her way out. “They’ll probably come in the summer.” She said as the bell rang.
“I’m the summer?” Janine asked after doing a double take at her words. But the woman was long gone and the others were making their way out of the room to their classes.
“Tough break. Want some egg white bites?” Jacob asked, easing closer to Janine and holding out a plate. The solemn woman looked up at him with a new determination. “No. I don’t have time to eat.” She said before walking out. Jacob was mid-bite when he turned and faced Naoya, who was putting her bag over her shoulder. And before the man could even speak, the woman stopped him. “No, I don’t want your peasant food, Jacob. It’s insulting that you would ask someone as cultured as myself such a question.” She started before strutting out of the break room. Jacob stood there in disbelief.
“It’s just egg white bites, you put them in the microwave.”
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“Janine, what on earth are you doing on that thing?” Naoya asked as she rushed down the hall to the smaller woman who stood on a ladder. She had just come from using the restroom and leaving a class of a bunch of nine to ten-year-olds unattended for even a few seconds could lead to chaos. She didn’t know that chaos would be the grown woman who was the height of a nine to ten-year-old.
“I’m going to fix this broken light.” The woman said determinedly, only a step above the floor in the heightening tool. Naoya made it next to her, seeing the woman wasn’t doing much movement. She placed her hands on her hips, a smug look on her face. “Janine, you are not meant to go to those heights. God gave you your stature for a reason. Plus you’re terrified.”
“I am not terrified.” The woman said, shooting a glance at her. At that, Naoya gave her a knowing look before ushering the woman to go ahead. Janine nodded and looked back at the matter, fear gripping her. She gulped looking back at Naoya. “Okay, I am terrified but I’m gonna do it because I’m on a mission.” She said before carefully making her way up the ladder.
“If this backfires, you buy my dinner,” Naoya asked, after checking in on her classroom through the glass door, seeing them still doing their reading time. At that, Janine gave a confused look to the air, since she was too scared to look down. “Uh, no. This bet is not in my face, at all.”
“Well, at least have some faith in yourself, goodness gracious.”
At that, Janine continued, taking the cover off the lights and continuing to tweak at the wires. “See, look at this. It was just a loose wire.” The woman said, briefly glancing down at the people below her. She then connected the wire with another one, watching as the light stopped flickering. But it didn’t stop for long, the bulbs brightening before bursting in her face.
“Oh!” The woman screamed as she ducked:
“Janine!” Naoya yelled from below her, hosing her arms out in case the woman fell. Instantly, all the rooms were filled with the sounds of confusion and discomfort. The doors opened as the teachers exited.
“Oh, God! Can someone please help me down?” Janine asked, her voice shaking from the fear of the height she was at and the bulb exploding before her.
“And why would we do that since you caused this situation?” Melissa asked as she propped her door open.
“Okay, I didn’t know doing this would cause all the power to go out.” Janie tried to justify, still clutching onto the ladder.
“Well, the power is not all out,” Barbra stated. “It’s on in some places and off in others.”
“It’s off in my room,” Gregory said.
“On in the gym.” The coach said tiredly, slugging up to the group.
“Yeah, it’s off in my room,” Melissa spoke back up. “Thank God we got the A/C or we’d all be meltin’ already.”
“Okay, well before anyone freaks out, the best thing to do in these situations is just stay calm and—” Naoya started as she looked around the group but was silenced by the frantic voice of their terrible and terrified principal.
“Okay! This is it, y'all! The End Times!” The woman said as she rounded the corner in a hurry, a light strapped to her head. “It’s three months early, but it’s happening!” She said, as she closed in on them, giving the closest thing to her a tousle, which happened to be the very thing that was holding Janine up.
“Aah, don’t shake the ladder.” The smaller woman yelled from up top.
“Gregory is the only person that can stay in my bunker, so stop asking.” The crazed principal continued. Naoya’s head jerked back at her words, shocked at the woman’s blatant advancements that were harassment at this point.
“Ava,” Barbra started, holding her arms out in a non-offensive manner to calm the woman. “It is just a partial power outage. Alright, listen up everyone—.”
“Listen to Barbra, y'all!” The doomsday woman yelled, still latched into the latter out of fear.
“Are you kidding me?” Janie asked, clasping at the top of the ladder for support as it shook again.
“This is what we’re gonna do.” Barbra started again. “Everybody without power, please, head to the gym.”
“Head!” Ava chimed in again.
“We will conduct classes there until this is all fixed. It is not ideal—.” She stressed, looking up at the culprit on the ladder. “But it will work.”
“You hear her. Let’s go!” Ava demanded with a nod.
“Guys!” Janie called from the top of the ladder, causing them all to look up at her. “I-I just wanna I-I’m sorry, everybody.” The woman said nervously. “I just thought if I could get up here and get this done then we wouldn’t have to wait and..”
“And look where it landed us, baby girl.” Barbra cut in. “Everybody please head to the gym. We’ve got bigger fish to fry now.”
“Oh, Jesus! My branzino! Everybody out of the way. Out of the way!” Melissa yelled as she sprinted down the hall filled with children.
“Well, if someone can please help me! I feel like I’m one wobble away from death!” Janie begged from where she fluted the top of the ladder. At that, Naoya walked closer, raising her hand to help guide the woman down but was intercepted by Gregory's large arms. The two people glanced at each other, unexpected by the other one's move. Naoya waved her hand, signaling him to help instead. “Thank you,” Jannie said, too spooked to even pay attention to the odd interaction before her. “Okay, give me your hand. Take your time.” Gregory soothed, his large hand latched onto Janine’s. When he was turned away from her, she gave the camera an odd look, scratching the back of her ear. “Whenever you're ready.”
“Okay.” Janine sighed. There was a moment of silence between them all as they waited. “Am I doing it?” Janie asked, just standing there.
“No, honey,” Naoya spoke up, raising an eyebrow at such an odd question.
“Okay, let’s do a count of three.” Janine reiterated, adjusting herself to prepare.
“Okay,” Gregory started. “One, two…three.” He finished and the woman still wasn’t moving. “One more time.” He said.
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“This is all my fault,” Janie said as she looked around the gymnasium at all the students. The shock clock then went off, the constant noise startling Gregory, who paused his class to speak to the woman. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have tried to do the job of a newly graduated DeVry student, but this is okay.” The man sassed, with an awkward smile as she gestured around the room. Melissa was teaching her kids the best she should with something in flashcards, while Barbra was teaching her students to tell time.
Naoya was on the other side of the room, all her students sitting in rows with their eyes closed and taking deep breaths, with her in the front as a group meditation process. She chose this alternative instead of their gym scheduled gym activities, so the kids weren’t accidentally hitting four-year-olds in the head with basketballs.
Janine sighed, going to pick up her phone that pinged. She read the messages she got from Tariq, and that pissed her off even more. Well, it wasn’t helping her attitude for today.
“I made this mess, and I need to fix this.” She said again, looking around at the distressed room of teachers.
“Okay, but fix this how? Gregory asked her. “It seems very outside of your skill set. You should probably just wait for somebody to get to it—.” He tried to reiterate what Barbra had been saying all along and Janine was not having it.
“I don’t want to wait for someone to get to it!” Janine hissed. “You know, our children have needs that deserve to be met. And I’m going to fix this. Nothing is going to get in my way.” She said determined.
“What if you have to climb another ladder?” Gregory finally asked. “Those seem very tricky for you.”
“No.” That was all Janie gave him. “Not today.
Sometime later, the bell rang, signaling to everyone that it was much time.
“Aren’t you going to lunch, Janine?” Melissa asked as she, Barbra, Gregory, and Naoya made their way to the gymnasium doors.
“Uh, no, I’m actually gonna stay and help the lunch ladies with lunch.” The shorter woman tried to find a reasonable excuse.
“The lunch ladies don’t like you, Janine. They never say hello back.” Naoya said, crossing her arms as she looked at the woman across from her. “So, is that what you’re really doing?”
“Yes!” She answered. “And maybe trying to get the lights back on.” She rushed out at the end, hoping no one heard. At that, the two older women groaned.
“Would you give that a rest?” Melissa started. What do you want? To make the whole school blow up?”
“No!” The woman said as she folded her arms. “Plus, I can’t. Luckily the school was built as a bomb shelter in WWII, so…”
“Let it go.” Barbra practically begged the girl before her before she and the rest of the teachers started walking away.
“Okay, I will.” The woman told them, watching them exit. She and Gregory held long eye contact, both knowing the truth deep down. After they were gone, Janine looked back down at her phone, not paying attention to her friends next to her.
“You’re not gonna let it go, are you?” Jacob spoke up.
“No, I’m not gonna let it go, Jacob, okay?” She said, giving the two of them a look. “I need to right my wrongs.”
“Okay, we’ll count me out.” He said, waving her off.
“I never counted you in,” Janine said to him, confused about where he got that from.
“Well, then count me in.” He restated. “Because I don’t have any lunch plans.”
“Okay.” She sighed. She then looked at the woman next to him, her purse on her shoulder. “Weren’t you going to lunch?” She asked.
“You owe me lunch, remember? Your plan backfired.” She reminded the woman from earlier with a shrug. Janine sighed, turning away from them and walking, knowing they would follow. “That’s not how bets work, Naoya. Both people have to agree.”
“That’s how my bets work and you owe me food, woman!”
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“This is just like the one in my apartment, this is going to be easy,” Janine stated as the three of them made their way to the breaker box that was in the custodian closet. “Me and Tariq have to go in that thing like three times a month.” She said them behind her, Jacob holding the flashlight above her head.
“Maybe you should move.” The man suggested.
“Yeah. Tariq says he is “practicing” his credit score.” Janine struggled out and she pushed to get the metal box open. “Apparently 380 isn’t a good—.” She continued to struggle, her words getting lost in her. “Let me try,” Naoya said as she softly nudged the smaller woman out of the way. She gave the box a pull and the thing popped open. She turned and smiled at the two. “I loosened it,” Jannie said, trying to save face.
“Sure, Jan,” Naoya said, going back to looking in the box. “Oh..” she said, looking at the jumbled mess of wires and switches.
“Oh, no,” Janie said, looking at the same thing. “Don’t touch. Not even a little bit.” She read out loud, giving the camera a certain look. “Uh, okay. What’s that say?”
“End of the Road? It’s so hard to say goodbye?” Naoya read out loud, looking at the labels next to some of the switches. “What? Motownphil—These are Boyz II Men songs.” She deadpanned, turning to the rest of them.
“Why?” Jannie asked, moving to stand in front of the box herself.
Jacob chuckled. “It’s ironic ‘cause I’m on Bended Knee.” He joked, giving the camera a brief look. Naoya genuinely snickered while Janie just laughed awkwardly. “Heh. Okay.” She said before going back to the wires. “Oh God, why is that one hot?” Offering them a glance of concern. “Let me try this one.” She said and just a flip of a switch caused a giant spark to erupt, the trio screamed and jumped back to dodge the sparks as best as they could.
“What in the world.”
“What going on?”
Melissa and Barba exclaimed as she entered the hot and dark school building with children running around. “It’s so hot I’m gonna frizz.” Just then, Janie and Jacob came out of the appliance closet, their hair a mess from the static they endured. The three teachers who left for lunch automatically knew who the culprit for everything was.
“Janine! What did you do?!” Barbra asked, quite fed up with the younger woman. “Looking like ‘who shot John.’”
“Barbra, look, I know you told me to let it go, but I couldn’t. Jacob and Naoya—.” At that, she looked back to see where the woman was but she was nowhere to be found. “Jacob helped me open the breaker.” She was quick to accuse.
“I ran away as soon as the sparks started flying. I was looking out for myself.” The woman shrugged as she leaned against the wall next to her. “Plus, I wasn’t about to get yelled at by Barb for this whole mess.”
“It was a chance to support a strong Black woman.” The man next to her breathed out, in a state of shock, quite literally.
“The breaker?!” Melissa asked. “Janine! You can’t do this stuff! What had you come to work today and lose your mind?”
“Look, I—.” She tried to find something to say. “I just have—she gulped—I feel lightheaded.” She said as she swayed.
“Ohh, okay,” Barbra said worriedly as they all closed in on the smaller girl.
“Did you eat today, because I know you didn’t have lunch,” Melissa asked the girl worriedly.
“And you didn’t have any breakfast,” Jacob stated, his tone showing his concern for the woman’s wellbeing. Janine couldn’t even say anything, her balance was off and her mind was delirious.
“Okay, we’re losing her,” Melissa yelled, easing up on the girl. “Do I have your consent to slap you?” At that, Janine fell backward into Gregory’s arms just as Ava and Naoya rounded the corner. “There she goes,” Melissa said over the shocked screams of her colleagues. “She’s out.”
“Yall feel this heat?” Ava asked, just now seeing the sight of the woman on the floor before her. “Oh my God! She’s pale like a zombie! You know, they eat the hottest people first, let me back my tasty ass up.” Ava said, going back to where she came from down the hall. At her stupid words, Naoya was tempted to follow her but snapped out of it when she saw Janine on the floor.
“Uh, okay! I’m gonna go see if I can get some water out of the fridge. Hopefully, it’s still cold.” Naoya said before running off.
“Oh my God, my branzino!” Melissa yelled, moving to push Barb back.” “Excuse me, Barb. She’ll be okay!” She yelled as she pushed the older woman out of her way and jumped over the unconscious woman.
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Once Janine woke up from her little coma, the coach told her that all the kids and teachers were outside. She walked out to see all of them playing in the water that was sprouting from the fire hydrants while the teachers lunged in chairs. “Oh, look who’s back in the land of the living,” Melissa said once she saw the small woman exit the school.
“Who opens the fire hydrant?” Janine asked
“Well, as Melissa would say, snitches get stitches,” Barbra said.
“It was Naoya,” Jacob whispered to his shorter friend, pointing over at said woman who was playing in the water with the children. She had her bat at her side, leaning her weight on it as she splashed the kids who came near her to throw water her way.
“That is correct.” Melissa started again. “But I am not talking to you on account of you killing my branzino.” She said, before leaning back in her seat. Barbra gave her a look and cleared her throat. Melissa looked at the woman from under her shades and sighed a little before sitting back up. Barbra then got up from her seat, allowing Janine to take it.
“So that’s it, huh?” Janine asked, looking around at the kids. “I , uh, gave it my all, passed out, and ruined the school day?”
“Oh, you tanked,” Melissa told her. “You tanked Janine. You took the whole school down with you. It was impressive.” She pressed, knowing she was pushing the woman’s buttons.
“Look, I know. I should’ve stopped. I’m sorry.” Janine sighed. “I just felt so bad when I saw that look on Melina’s face this morning.”
“You don’t think it kills us to see those faces in the morning?” Melissa asked her. “What, are we made of stone? You’re not the first person to feel things, kid. We care.”
It was silent for a moment as Janine thought over the woman’s words. “How do you and Barbra stop yourselves from caring too much if that’s a thing.”
“Because it’s the opposite.” Melissa smiled at the girl as she took off her shades. “We care so much we refuse to burn out. If we burn out, who’s here for these kids? That’s who you gotta take care of yourself.”
“Yeah, what’s with you today Nini?” Both women jumped at the sound of Naoya’s voice, while the woman just stood behind them with her bat. “You’re normally bananas, but…” She trailed off, waving at the girl's aura.
“Uh, I don’t know. Just some stuff at home, I think.” Janine shrugged with an answer.
“Oh, okay,” Melissa said with a nod. “See, that’s the other thing me and Barbra learned. All that at-home stuff—you gotta leave it at the door. Otherwise, you open up a whole nother Panera’s box of problems.”
“I think you mean Pandora’s box,” Naoya told the woman sitting in front of her.
“Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s Panera’s box.” She nodded, while Janine and Naoya both gave the camera a look.
Later on that day, Naoya was in her room in the process of changing the clothes she had on into some that she kept in her closet. She enjoyed playing in the water with the kids but she was not going to go home wet. As she was in the process of changing, she got a phone call. Looking down at her phone, she saw the contact and quickly answered the phone.
“Hello, Adona.” The girl sighed into the phone as she pulled a new shirt over her head.
“Oh, well don’t sound so pleased.” The feminine voice over the phone said to her. Naoya rolled her eyes, as she opened the drawer of her desk and pulled out a plastic store bag. She offered the camera a glance, knowing they were probably thinking as to why she kept so many plastic bags in her drawer. But all she could offer them now was a shrug as the voice over the phone continued.
“Anyways, how are you?”
“What do you want, Adona?” Naoya spat, stuffing her semi-wet clothes into the plastic bag.
“What? I can’t see how my own sister is doing?” The woman said over the phone, the hurt in their voice obviously sarcastic.
“No, but I know you. And I know that you only call when you need money. Money for something other than your child.” The younger girl snapped over the phone. All she got in response was a sigh and some shuffling from the other end.
“You know, you don't have to rub it in.” Adona started, and Naoya rolled her eyes at the woman’s words, knowing this conversation was about to go to the argument they always had. “This all would have been so much easier if the rest of us weren’t left out of her will.”
“That’s not my fucking fault, Adona. I tell you that every time you call. Do you think I want the burden of you and the others calling me every month for some fucking bill for me to pay? Not to ask how I’m doing?” Naoya spat at her sister over the phone. She could feel her eyes start to sting, she was never the best at arguing when it came to her family. She’d been called sensitive all her life and it rang true every time she talked to her siblings.
“ “The others”? That’s what you call us? You’re family?” That was all Adona could say back. Naoya rolled her eyes and let out a scoff, pulling the phone away from her face as she sniffed and held her head back, trying to stop her tear flow. After only a few quick seconds, she brought the phone back to her face. “Uh, I can already see where this is going, so I’m gonna end it here. Just send the amount and I’ll talk to you some other time. Take care.” She said before pressing the red button on her screen to end the call.
She placed her phone in her back pocket and moved around her room to gather her things, trying her best to occupy her mind from what just ensued. She was so in her head that she forgot the cameras were there. And she didn’t hear the voice of Gregory at her door.
“Naoya?” He called out to her.
She looked up at the sound of his voice as she placed her things into her bag. “Oh, Hello Gregory.” She smiled, her face showing none of the emotions she was feeling.
“You’ve eaten?” He asked, just standing in the doorway of her classroom.
“Uh, no, actually. Janine was supposed to buy me lunch because I bet that her plan would backfire.” The woman said as she placed her things in her arms. At that, Gregory gave her a questioning look. Naoya raised her hands in surrender. “I know, I sound like a terrible friend. But it’s not that I don’t believe in Janine, I just know how to black a bet. Get it from my father.” The girl shrugged. She and Gregory both laughed lightly. And when it died down, they just started at one another, the air between them oddly peaceful.
“But, uh, are you offering?” She asked, looking at the man before her.
“Uh, yeah. I was going to ask Janine too.” He said, pointing his thumb in the direction of the said woman’s room.
“Cool! Let’s go.” She said with a genuine smile, causing the man to smile at her as well. They walked out and over to Janine’s room, where it looked like the woman was doing something on her phone. Gregory knocked on her door to get her attention. “Hey.” He said.
“Hey,” Jaimie said, looking at the two.
“Have you eaten?” He asked.
“Oh. No. The um, lunch lady gave me that can of peaches but no can opener, so, no.” She chuckled, pointing at the can on her desk.
“What? No fair! You’re so lucky. Well, besides the whole can opener situation. ” Naoya said jokingly.
“Alright, we’ll, you wanna go get something to eat? With me?” Gregory said before Naoya lightly cleared her throat. “With us?” Gregory was quick to reiterate. Naoya nodded, offering the slightly flustered older man a brief look.
“Oh,” Janine said, looking between the two. “I was gonna wait for my boyfriend to finish his show to eat…” She said. Naoya nodded at her words, understanding where she was coming from. Well, understanding as best as she could because she’d never wait to eat for a man. But maybe that was love. She caught the way Gregory’s posture changed at Janin’s words out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t say anything but she did give me a crazy side-eye, hoping he noticed.
“But…no.” The shorter woman started back up with a laugh. “I’m hungry now, so I should eat now, right?”
“That’s typically how hunger works, yeah.” Gregory played along.
“Right! Normal people eat at normal times, like…4:00.” She said, pointing over at the clock on her wall.
“Yeah. All true.” Gregory said with a nod before smiling. “So, let’s go eat.”
“Let’s. Okay.” Janine said with an equally large smile before moving to grab her things. At that, Naoya turned around to head out the door, not wanting to be in the middle of an obvious love fest. She gave the cameras outside a knowing look, a large smirk on her face.
Seconds later, the two of them walked out of the room, Naoya joining them to go down the hall. On their way, they ended up meeting Jacob.
“Oh, hey guys, what up?” The man said.
“We’re just headed to get something to eat,” Gregory answered.
“Oh, great, I’ll join.” The man just inserted himself, not catching the looks thrown his way by the three. “After school crew.” He continued.
“Ooh, “After School Crew.” I like that.” Janine smiled. They all ended up stopping at the lights coming on within the school. They looked over to see Mr.Johnson in the supply closet, standing next to the breaker machine in his fishing gear.
“You touch the lights, didn’t you, Janine?” He asked, shooting an accusatory look the woman’s way.
“Yes,” Janine answered with a defeated look.
“Good thing I got me a system.” The man told her, flicking the breaker box closed. “I’ll make love to you. Like you want me to.” He continued to sing. This caused them to all sigh and continue walking. Naoya stayed behind, a fond smile on her lips as she watched the old man. When he caught the sight of the woman still there, he paused and looked at her.
“You have a good fishing trip?” She asked the man, crossing her arms over another. The man looked at the girl kind of shocked that she asked and that she knew.
“Yeah. Yeah, I actually did.” He said, offering her a smile of his own. Naoya nodded at his words before walking away, following the crew that left her. Mr.Johnson looked at the spot she left, a fond smile on his face as she continued to sing the song.
#abbott elementary fic#abbott elementary fanfic#abbott elementary fanfiction#abbott elementary x reader#abbott elementary#janine teagues#gregory eddie#barbra howard#melissa schemmenti#jacob hill#mr. johnson#quinta brunson#tyler james williams#sheryl lee ralph#lisa ann walter#x black oc#x black reader#x black fem reader#x black y/n#jazziejaxwriting#jazziejaxabbottelementary
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( your fault! )
pair: sunghoon x f!reader | genre: fluff, just a tad suggestive, e2??? | warning(s): a soaked white shirt, one swear word lol | wc: 1k ish | synopsis: in which you and sunghoon are very late for school.
lynne’s notez 🗒️ : another consistent post .. who am i
something about you gets under park sunghoon’s skin. normally, he’s calm and collected, but whenever you enter the room it’s like you make it your life’s goal to annoy him to ends meet. you’re constantly poking at him and making small remarks about the way he pushes his hair back or the way his handwriting wasn’t perfect.
“why’s your jacket unbuttoned? tryna impress someone, park?” you’d say, drawing his name out. and he’d intentionally roll his eyes, making sure you saw it. while thinking of a snotty comeback, sunghoon would slyly button up his jacket (the unbuttoned thing was suggested by niki, why sunghoon took the younger’s advice is beyond him). maybe he was upset because you were right or the fact that the person who he was trying to impress didn’t give him a second glance. either way, park sunghoon wasn’t very happy that day.
and of course, you were the one person he bumped into while being late to school. sunghoon had decided that maybe he’d treat himself to some coffee before his classes, but the new barista was very clumsy and had to remake his favorite drink twice! so much that it didn’t even taste like his favorite drink anymore.
while turning the last corner to school, you just had to be in the way. it was almost like the heavens above were punishing him for skipping that one skating practice in eighth grade.
when the two of you collide, sunghoon’s drink goes flying from his hands and because the new barista doesn’t know how to put on the top properly, the contents of his iced mocha land across your white button-up and it immediately soaks through the light material.
“park! are you serious!” you yell suddenly, your hands flying up in frustration. you were already having the worst day. firstly, your alarm was set to 7pm instead of 7am and all of your school blazers had not been done drying since you put them in the washing machine last night. on top of all this you just had to run to into park sunghoon and his stupid iced mocha.
the coffee stains your shirt and you can feel it bleed through the thin fabric, leaving a big black mark across your chest and the unmistakable smell of strong coffee mixing with your perfume. you swear under your breath, reaching up to try and wipe it off with no luck.
you spot a hose attached to the side of a local fish shop, you were sure the owner wouldn’t mind if you used it. without a second thought, you walk over and detach the hose and grab a bucket from the stack nearby (hopefully it hadn’t been filled with fishes beforehand).
sunghoon watches you dumbly as you continue to fill up the bucket. “what are you doing?” he asks and walks over to you to get a closer look. you’ve already pulled your hair to the side as you hand him the bucket.
“you want me to do the ice bucket challenge on you?” sunghoon’s eyes widen at the odd request and you want to strangle him. this was no time for jokes.
“are you an idiot? just pour a little on my shirt to get the stain out. i can’t show up to class an hour late and dirty clothes.” you say irritatingly. you tug on the shirt to get it as far from your skin as possible and pray sunghoon doesn’t get any water on your pants.
“doesn’t this need soap?” sunghoon hesitantly raises the bucket up. although he might hate your guts, dowsing you in fish shop water didn’t seem the most appropriate way to go about this.
“just do it.”
“okay nike,” sunghoon gently pours the water over the stain, careful to not let too much spill out. the more he pours, the more he realizes how close the two of you are and how your shirt seems to become more and more transparent.
your shirt is practically see-through and sunghoon really does try to polite about it without spilling water all over you, but it’s quite hard to contain the water without properly looking at you. there’s a pink that dusts his cheeks and he can’t help but want to bang his head onto a wall.
deciding he’s had enough, sunghoon abruptly drops the bucket to the floor and starts to shrug off his own blazer. he was a gentleman, of course. “wear this.” is all he says, dropping it into your hands.
you eye him suspiciously but take it any way with a small nod of thanks. “this is all your fault yknow?” you say, buttoning his blazer up. it was a bigger than your own, but you should be able to still get away with it at school.
“my fault?” sunghoon says in disbelief. he can’t believe he just gave you his blazer (which he might get written up for for not having) just for you to say that. “it’s not my fault you have a shit sense of direction.” he defends himself surely.
“whatever you say, park.” the nickname rolls off your tongue smoothly and the more you use it, the sweeter it sounds to sunghoon. once you finish putting on the blazer, you reach for your previously discarded backpack, but sunghoon beats you to it.
“what are you doing?” you throw him a confused look as he pulls the straps of your bag over his shoulder.
“it’s the least i could do, i mean it’s my fault, right?” a boyish grin tugs at sunghoon’s lips and he starts walking ahead, forcing you to catch up.
you aren’t sure if it’s his teasing tone, his rolled up sleeves exposing his arms or his stupid smile, but you begin to see sunghoon in a different light.
#kpop#imagines#enhypen#jake#jay#sunghoon#fluff#heeseung#jungwon#niki#sunoo#park sunghoon#jake sim#park jongseong#lee heeseung#kim sunoo#yang jungwon#nishimura niki#sunghoon x reader#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen x reader#enhypen x y/n#sunghoon fluff#enhypen oneshots#enhypen drabbles
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For the newly added Klee and Clara
Having there older sibling S/O person thing! Put on some charisma to try & bail them out of time out
(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Sibling!Reader trying to get Klee and Clara out of time out
"Retry the speech check, just reload and retry!" - The Russian Badger
Jean sighs as soon as she sees (Y/N) enter the room. Putting down her pen for a moment, she then looks at them approaching.
(Jean) "(Y/N)..."
(Y/N) "Master Jean! I am so sorry for the trouble Klee caused today!"
(Jean) "She knew the consequences when she decided to go blast fishing-"
(Y/N) bowed apologetically.
(Y/N) "It was my fault, Master Jean. There was something in the waters that spooked me, and she was only trying to help. I swear she didn't do it on purpose."
Jean watched their expression with close scrutiny before lowering her shoulders and giving a sympathetic look.
(Jean) "And you are telling me the truth?"
The sharp gaze of the Acting Grand Master made (Y/N) fidget.
(Y/N) "Yes, as embarrassing as it is..."
Jean walked over and put a hand on their shoulder.
(Jean) "I understand. You are a good older sister/brother for wanting Klee's situation cleared up."
(Y/N)'s expression suddenly beamed-
(Jean) "And as an older sibling myself, I know when another one is lying."
-And quickly reverted to fear.
(Jean) "(Y/N), you know the consequences."
...
Klee was sitting in "solitary", which was really just a relatively empty room inside the Knights' Headquarters, barring a few shelves, tables, and chairs.
Suddenly, the door swung open, and (Y/N) awkwardly walked in, with Jean behind them, arms crossed.
Klee jumped up in surprise, running up to her sibling.
(Klee) "Big bro/sis? What are you doing here?!"
(Y/N) "I uh...got put in time out as well."
(Jean) "You'll be able to come out when you think about what you have done wrong."
Jean gently closed the door, and both of them heard it lock, her footsteps slowly fading away.
(Klee) "Aw man, now we're both in big trouble..."
(Y/N) smiled as they knelt down to pat Klee's head.
(Y/N) "Don't worry, I have a backup plan."
They slowly reached into their pouch and pulled out a wrapped fish, charred to perfection from Klee's bombs.
Klee gasped as her eyes sparkled, looking at their brother/sister.
(Y/N) put a finger to their lips playfully.
(Y/N) "Not a word of this to Jean, got it?"
Klee nodded enthusiastically before the two shared their meal together.
Neither of them really learning their lesson, much to Jean's dismay.
A/N: Good luck with the speech check on THIS one, good lord.
Svarog stood stoically in front of a terminal, the light from his mono-eye gently pulsating.
Upon hearing (Y/N)'s footsteps, he turned around to face them.
(Svarog) "(Y/N). What is it?"
(Y/N) "Why is Clara in the corner?"
The light pulsated for a moment before turning around to the terminal once again, but still giving a reply.
(Svarog) "Clara has disobeyed a direct order to not eat the dessert before her dinner. Therefore, disciplinary protocols are in effect."
(Y/N) paused for a moment to remember what he was talking about.
(Y/N) "You mean the jar of cookies? It was only the one gone-"
(Svarog) "It does not change the fact it will ruin her appetite. Early sweets lead to fullness, which leads to food being wasted. Something that cannot be tolerated for someone of her age."
(Y/N) walked up to the terminal, giving puppy eyes to their robotic father figure.
(Svarog) "As the older sibling, you must not spoil Clara. Nor should I.-"
(Y/N) "It's just been a while since she got to have a cookie, Svarog. Surely you can remember that!"
His head slowly whirred to face (Y/N).
(Svarog) "My memory circuits are functioning normally. It has been twenty-seven days, eight hours, and fifty seven minutes since you and Clara have last had dessert.-"
(Y/N) "So that's why you can go a little easy on her! Clara didn't want to disobey you, but she was just having a craving! I promise she'll eat every last bite during dinner."
Svarog remained silent, barring the mechanical noises emitting from his body.
He turned completely to (Y/N), in what nearly sounded like a sigh from his gears moving.
(Svarog) "Your argument is...logical. Reducing disciplinary protocols, your presence is required."
(Y/N) smiled at that, following him outside the room to where Clara was standing quietly in the corner of their living room.
(Svarog) "Clara. You are permitted to leave time out."
Clara's head looked up in surprise before turning around and seeing her family, wiping one of her eyes.
(Clara) "I'm sorry, I won't do it again-"
(Svarog) "Do not apologize. My measures were...harsh for your actions."
(Y/N) "Next time you want to take a cookie before dinner, just ask either of us, okay?"
Clara looked at Svarog as he slowly knelt down and wiped away a tear gently with his mechanical hand.
(Svarog) "Your brother/sister is correct. Given permission, you will not be punished."
(Clara) "...T-Thank you!"
She gave Svarog a hug before running up and doing the same to her sibling.
Svarog watched silently, but both of them could tell he was at least happy to not see Clara sad.
(Svarog) "I must go back to monitoring the other humans outside the camp. Dinner will be prepared at 6:00 PM."
Svarog nodded and walked back into the control room, leaving the two alone.
(Clara) "Did...you convince Mr. Svarog to let me leave?"
(Y/N) ruffled her hair gently.
(Y/N) "Mhm. Just had to remind him that treating yourself won't spoil your dinner. Let's go out for a little bit until dinner so you can work up your appetite, alright?"
Clara smiled and nodded excitedly.
(Clara) "O-Okay!"
#platonic genshin x reader#platonic honkai star rail x reader#klee genshin impact#clara honkai star rail#svarog hsr#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact headcanons#honkai star rail imagines#jean gunnhildr#honkai star rail headcanons
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TWST As Lines I've Written/Said
Content Warning: Shitpost, suggestiveness(idk?) & swearing
Author's Note: These are either things I've said, or things that I've written down but haven't used... yet, might use them in the future, might not. Feel free to guess which is which.
Let the shenanigans begin!
Yuu, upon entering TWST
Yuu: “I’m motivated by spite and getting the fuck out of this damned place!”
Crowley: “This damned place just so happens to be my school!”
Yuu: “Yeah? Well, guess what Mr. Mystery Man, I fucking hate it here!”
Crowley: “Rude.”
Typical Ace Behaviour
Yuu: “Behave, my friends are coming over.”
Ace: “Weird. I didn’t know you were capable of having those.”
Yuu: “You know what? You can go out and wait on the fire escape until they leave if you want to act like that.”
Capitalism Isn't Attractive
Deuce: “Do not fall for the pretty man with the fancy clothes!”
Yuu: “Why not? He’s hot as fuck.”
Deuce: “... He’s a capitalist.”
Yuu: “THAT WHORE!”
Pissy Kitty
Leona: “Great, you again.”
Yuu: “I’m thrilled to see you too, asshole.”
Floyd, just Floyd
Floyd: “Why not?”
Yuu: “Unlike you, I don’t want to die!”
Floyd: “Boo, you’re lame.”
Yuu Needs a Raise
Yuu: “My therapist will be thrilled to hear about this revelation.”
Everyone: “What’s a therapist?”
Why Are You Like This?
Vil: “You are a blithering buffoon.”
Yuu: “Takes one to know one.”
Vil: “...Listen here you little piece of -”
Cryptid Hours
Yuu: *walks into room to find Idia sitting in the dark, facing the corner* “Did the voices win today?”
Idia: “Undecided.”
Yuu: “Okay then, let me know if that changes. Since I would like a headstart before you go all *insert demon noises* on me.”
After Any Overblot
Yuu: "I feel like a baked potato." *passes out*
The Adventures of Malleus
Malleus: “Tell me, Child of Man; do humans typically court through the acquiring and displaying of fish?”
Yuu: “Why?”
Malleus: *has been secretly using your phone for research and found himself on Tinder* “Just curious is all.”
Yuu: “... No, it’s not typical.”
Malleus: “Alright then, noted.”
Dear Professor Vargas, I regret to inform you that your attempts to woo a potential mate through your acquiring of fish may not be successful. And does the "DILF" shorts mean, "Darling, I Love Fish?" ... Asking for a friend. Sincerely, Malleus Draconia
Octopus Eyesight
Yuu: “Do you have astigmatism?”
Azul: “Do I have what?”
Yuu: “Astigmatism, like when you look at lights at night do you see lines? Since you have weird ass pupils.”
Azul: “...wait, that isn’t normal?”
Should I Be Nervous?
Yuu: “Have you ever been overcome with the lust for broccoli?”
Trey: ". . ."
Yuu: *squints, thinking* “Break glass in case of sudden lust for broccoli...”
Trey: "Should I leave?"
A Question to Ponder
Yuu: “Why do fictional men slap so hard? Like damn.”
Riddle: “Because they are not real and do not come with any of the negative consequences that often come with real men, also you can better idealize them… And anime, ‘Makes you go brrrrr,’ as you put it.”
College Life
Rollo: “I am running off 3 hours of sleep and a single croissant, do not test me.”
Baby Talk
Rook: “Ah, bonjour chatton!" *proceeds to babytalk to the cat in French*
Yuu's Type
Yuu: “I have 4 types; wet cat, malewife, girlboss, and whore." tag yourself
Crewel: "... You need to focus on your grades, not on some mutts."
What Do You Have?
Jamil: "What's that?"
Kalim: *hiding a cat that he stole from outside* "Uhhh, my love for you?"
Jamil: *annoyed* "Put it back outside, Kalim."
Kalim: *puts the cat in his face* "BUT LOOK AT THEM!! THEY BABEY!!!!"
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst shitpost#twst incorrect quotes#[i think idk]#dove's comedy hour#twst yuu#twst crack#dire crowley#ace trappola#deuce spade#leona kingscholar#floyd leech#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#malleus draconia#azul ashengrotto#trey clover#riddle rosehearts#rollo flamm#divus crewel#jamil viper#kalim al-asim#twst drabbles
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✨ THE DAN AND PHIL LORE pt. 3✨
CHECK OUT PART 2: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760707933651746816?source=share
Phil ALSO comes out! (yeah no i'm not crying what? not them feeling comfortable enough to be themselves yeah). 2019 also brings us the adoption of a fish named Norman (a cutie) AND they also post pictures about their recent trip to Japan [the photo of Phil looking up to Dan behind the camera? yeah i am so normal about it, i swear]. There is hope in the horizon still for a Dan and Phil comeback...
BAM! A certain virus runs wild and forces everyone to stay at home. Phil continues to upload solo videos which distracted so many of us during these dark times. Dan, however is AWOL and the only pic we have of him is a shitty screenshot of him in glasses and a mask helping Phil rescue an injured pigeon (lockdown was WILD).
Also, my boy Dan post a cryptic tweet that leads to the announcement of a self-help book named YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS NIGHT (because you will <3). Nah but I can't count how many times I've sobbed reading it, just him trying to help out others who have also struggled with mental health... istg i love this man
Hey so THEY BUY THEIR FOREVER PHOUSE TOGETHER they're gonna kill me one day istg. "Dan and Phil just decided to pay a mortgage together", top 10 sentences that would kill a 2016 phan. They are slaying, they are glowing... also rip Norman the fish you will not be forgotten
So during 2014 the fates (aka a random youtuber) foretold that Dan and Phil would be married in 2022. Since that clearly didn't happen the meme PHIVORCE united the phandom once more. ALSO Dan is out there shitting on youtube (as he should) and going on his solo tour WE'RE ALL DOOMED! Which i love with all my heart and also Phil being there for him every step of the way... AHHHHHHHH
Anyways a certain video called Dan and Phil finally tell the truth hits the internet and let's just say GOD DAMN. This also starts a wonderful trend amongst Dan and Phil in which they make fun of their audience (we deserve it ngl) and absolutley SHOCK US with new information about bonkers shit from their past [apparently they were offered a threesome MULTIPLE TIMES???]
It's the end. They've decided to give up their channel "Dan and Phil Games" forever... let's take a moment and silent and mourn with a compilation of Heart eyes Howell
...
SIKE! We're back baby and we're better than ever!!! The goodbye video turned out the be an ANNOUNCEMENT of their comeback. They are back, Dil Howlter is here and Phil confesses to having dyed everything green in the house when Dan went on tour bc he missed him (OH GOD). Also, the Halloween baking video introduced us to the icon that is.... *drumroll please*
SISTER DANIEL, the queen of making everyone reconsider their sexuality... she is the moment, she is an icon and she is serving astronomical levels of cunt at all time [jokes aside, Dan being comfortable enough to do drag in public, fuck they've come so far i'm so proud of them <3].
And here we are in the future, it's present day and they are queerer and happier than ever. THE PICTURES I CAN'T ISTG. Also Dan's Birthday stream is beyond iconic. First of all my unproblematic kings make it a charity stream to donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (using their public influence for good hell yeah)... And how did they raise the money you ask? WELL BY HITTING IS WHERE WE'RE WEAKEST. Sister Daniel makes a spectacular comeback, FATHER PHIL is introduced and Dan even dyes his hair red to be more Good Omens coded... which timeline are we living in again? like how is any of this real?
Also them drawing the PINOF whiskers on their faces again... they're literally growing old together I'm gonna go sob in a corner. Also the fake apology video bc they have no fashion sense in the Sims 4 is hilarious as fuck. HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY BE SO MUCH HOTTER ON THEIR THIRTIES EXPLAIN??
anyways the phandom is still speculating wether they're erasing "i love you's" at the end of their text when they show them on videos... guess some things never change. Nah but the vibes are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW, they are more open than they've ever been and participate on the phan culture FULLY to the point that they're the ones terrorizing us now.
QUICK DETOUR TO TALK ABOUT PHIL'S FAMOUS BAD LUCK (and then they wonder why he's always dying in the fanfics). Nah but my poor man has had his fair share of medical problems, the most recent being...
OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU ANNOUNCE SOMETHING LIKE THAT THIS WAY?? nah like using humor as a coping mechanism and all but do they wanna gives a heart attack?! iconic i fear however
So yeah the video where they talk about it is WILD (funniest shit about the whole ordeal is that a nurse mistook Dan as Phil's son). Also I saw a tweet speculating about Phil having a hickey like... first of all what is it? 2009? Second of all IT'S MOST LIKELY A POPPED VESSEL FROM LOSING ALL THAT BLOOD YOU KNOW
They still were able to go on their vacation (aka the rodent boy summer) which gifted us with this iconic pics... ALSO they dropped a new Dan and Phil beats for summer go check out the names of the tracks istg they wanna kill their fans.
Nothing is sacred anymore, they've infiltrated twtphan, they're actively reposting memes and writing fanfiction about themselves. It's the wild west, everytime you get a notification is like playing Russian Rulet. Cringe is dead and Dan and Phil ARE COMING NEAR YOUR CITY on a tour named "Terrible Influence" where Phil's spent 300€ on silicone. It's a wonderful time to be a phan.
OKAY SO here's some stuff that didn't make the cut but that i find too hilarious to not mention. In no apparent order: DAN DRESSING UP AS A CATBOY, Dan and Phil playing technicians 1 and 2 on Big Hero 6 and two brothers on the Lion King (wtf was that also they gave the gorilas matching fringes), Dan dressing up as a golden pig (my boy has RANGE) and finally Dan being too embarassed to admit he stalked Phil and telling a reporter he was only asking for "editing tips" if you know what i mean
Also a short compilation of Dan and Phil losing the idgaf war against eachother THEY ARE SO THOUGHTFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING. Special mention to Daniel's 🧡 when Phil praised "We're all doomed!" and Dan's ranch metaphor to describe their relationship (just go watch the mukkbang video OH LORD)
SO, in conclusion... Dan and Phil's refusal to belittle their past and instead embrace it as part of their story while actively moving into the future alongside the phandom YEAH THAT SHIT MEANS SOMETHING. They're simultaneously healing our inner child while embracing us as the adults we've become i have many feelings about them
So what are they?
They're just Dan and Phil.
#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#this is my coping mechanism bc i'm freaking out about TIT#dan and phil games#phan#dnp#dip and pip#dnptit
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Summary: He has a collection of ur merch and ur like “Damn, well girl me too…”
Thinking about Great-Explosion-Murder-God-Dynamite, being too embarrassed to let people stay over at his new apartment, even if it was just the two of you.
He’d make excuses, pretending he was too busy, say he’s preoccupied with fixing up stuff and that it “wasn’t ready, or even offer to go at your apartment to hang out instead. The gall of this guy.
So when you show up one day unannounced, he quickly sobers up from his sleepy daze.
He quickly attempts to rush past you but he’s half awake, so he slips and stumbles before collapsing onto the ground due to a misplaced shirt.
So much for future No. 1 pro hero.
You don’t really get all the ruckus and the commotion he’s making, the apartment is basically spotless, save for a few boxes he hasn’t gotten to.
Putting the container of lasagna on his kitchen counter, you turn around to find a very pensive and sweaty Bakugo. Oh, and he’s shirtless.
“How bout we get you a shirt, huh bub? Then we can go to town on the lasagna my mom made for you.”
He wants to protest, tries to at least before you’re pulling him to what you assume to be his room, and open up the door.
You make him sit down, and start to rummage through his closet for a shirt for him to wear. And maybe some other new clothes since he might as well shower too.
“Wait, don’t-“
It was too late, at the bottom part of his closet was a box full of, stuff. And, wait. Is that you?
You pull out an action figure of yourself, still in its box, you’re guessing in mint condition.
You turn around to try and meet Katsuki’s eyes, but he only pouts with a hand up to his face.
“Did you… collect merch of me?”
Silence, you kneel down to see more, to hell with the shirt. Did they get your hero suit right? And did it exaggerate with some stuff?
You dig and dig and dig, before you find a mini-fig of him, and you.
“Awe! Thats adorable! It’s me and you!” Now plopped right beside him, he groans.
“I. Hate. You.” Bakugo has a pillow shoved into his face, white knuckling the poor thing.
“The box in your closet says otherwise.” You tease, before nudging him to the side.
He tsks. Normally he’d blow your face up or kick you out, maybe even chew and spit you out like gum. But for once, he can’t find it in himself do it. His soft spot for you, practically becoming mush.
“Don’t be embarrassed! You’re lucky you have the good ones. I barely got any of yours. Do you know how fast those things sell out?”
You complain while leaning against his shoulder, but he doesn’t feel like listening anymore.
“So much fanboys and fangirls rioting over you, and you’re not even in the top ranks! I swear, you better give me a discount, and by discount, I mean free.”
He side eyes you with a questioning look, before pushing you slightly away from him.
“You make it sound like you collect my stuff too.”
“Because I am?”
You put down the figures and start to fish for your phone, opening up your gallery for picture proof.
“See? I even have pictures of it!” Handing over your phone to him, you gesture for Bakugo to scroll throughout the gallery for more pictures.
You weren’t exactly making big bucks in the hero industry, not yet at least. But you had enough where you could indulge in your guilty pleasure of a hobby.
Several other familiar heroes were on display, but the amount of merch that had on each of them were little in contrast to his. It needed at least four photos to properly capture it all.
“How many of these do you have? You’re like a fuckin’ stalker, you weirdo.”
“Says you.”
“Although, I do like to collect the posable ones rather than the static ones. It’s just more fun when it’s an actual toy y’know?”
You take your phone back from him, and he quickly snatches the mini-figs from your lap, angrily stomping his was towards his closet before shutting it loudly with a boom.
“We never speak of this again. Ever.”
You put your hands up defensively with an eye-roll, before standing up.
“Alright alright, but I want a tour of your collection after we eat-“
“Just go already!”
He ended up doing a whole detailed tour of it in the end. And you kept the mini-fig of him.
“Wont he be sad without mini me?”
“He’ll be fine.”
You make Katsuki bring his mini you around whenever you and him go to leave. So they can also enjoy their night out.
Even bought a cute table and chair.
He gets embarrassed whenever someone mentions it, bursting in volume with an “Do you think I don’t see that?!”
(He wont admit it, but finds it frustratingly adorable.)
#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha#katsuki bakugo x you#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katuski#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki x you#I cant get him out if my mind#hes like a sick disease#News report!
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Bestiaryposting Results: The Maritime Finale
This is definitely the last one of these, as it's rounding up a bunch of sea creatures I've missed. I assume by this point everyone who sees this knows what it's about, but just in case: https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. (I'll get the rest of the entries on there soon.)
The entry people are working from is here:
The one for next week does not exist. (Also I apologize if I seem rushed, this is a busy week for me.)
Art below the cut!
@pomrania (link to post here) has us off on a weird start with their interpretation of the Fatrihrukh. I don't have any particular nostalgia for rage-face comics (I was online during that era, just not in circles where they were common), but honestly this made me smile. Also I like imagining some fisherman on a dock, still sitting in a normal pose and holding his fishing rod, just full-throat screaming at the sky, apparently apropos of nothing in particular. This is a fun one, is what I'm saying.
@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) has an uncanny ability to make me think, "sure, that looks like an animal that could be real" even when they're drawing something like Fish With Tentacles, which I am 99% sure is not a thing. Though if fish did have tentacles, they would look like that. This is of course also the Fatrihrukh; apparently people like that one.
@cheapsweets (link to post here) has done the whole set. A lot of these turned out really well -- I think the Ormlalaehr is stealing the show here, but the Bursgaenga is pretty darn cute. The linked post has details on each of them, which I recommend checking out. (Also thank you for providing alt text.)
@wendievergreen (link to post here) continues to impress with their delightful art style. Love the little space-invader Magtlegyegs, and the Lungyoggeas are just... wild. Extremely cool looking. (Also, thank you for providing alt text.)
@coolest-capybara (link to post here) joins the broad consensus that if you're only drawing one of these, it's the Fatrihrukh. I love the (medieval-art-appropriate) choice to give it human-like parts since the entry doesn't say otherwise. The colors are also really pretty; I like the effect on the background.
Okay. Aberdeen Bestiary. No illustrations for this one -- this whole section is just blocks of text.
Ahrmegyaeb
The wording is ambiguous as to whether whales and dolphins also do this -- but the creature in question is the seal. I have no idea how this works; either baby seals are way smaller than I think or I have completely the wrong idea about how seal mouths look.
Bursgaenga
This one is of course the scarus or escarius, which does not exist. Bestiary.ca notes that Scarus is a genus of parrotfish in modern taxonomy, and that the Rackham translation of Pliny the Elder has decided they are wrasse. No idea how well that reflects medieval understanding.
Chraekhret
Another one that doesn't exist, the echenais. Apparently Pliny has heard of some magical applications in love-charms, litigation, and obstetrics. The fish that anchors ships is a good addition to a fantasy setting, I think.
Dhrakyetor
Naturally the fish that looks like a serpent is the eel. More spontaneous generation, too, which is always nice. I swear I've heard that "giant eels in the Ganges" line somewhere before, but can't place it.
Eavbechtgi
Here we have the lamprey. I kind of wonder if this "head vs. tail" thing has something to do with its unusual head shape?
Fatrihrukh
Honestly I probably should have redacted the "many-footed" thing, because the name given is polippus, which... yeah, that actually tracks. I thought maybe this was the result of someone not bothering to actually count the limbs on an octopus, but it's apparently an obsolete umbrella term for octopus, squid, cuttlefish... all manner of tentacled cephalopod.
Griggkhraz
This is the torpedo, which is some fun etymology. The modern usage of torpedo is inherited from non-self-propelled naval mines, which were named after this torpedo, an electric ray. (Presumably they named mines after it because it hides itself & zaps you if you accidentally step on it.) The rays were named for their effect on people whom they zap: torpidus, 'numb'. This is of course cognate with English torpid. Which is a strange word to be cognate with the thing you shoot at boats.
Also:
...if a torpedo from the Indian sea is touched by a spear or rod, even from a considerable distance, the muscles of the fisherman's arms, even if they are very strong, grow numb...
Would that work if it were a metal rod?
Hretchngin
This is the crab. I did not know all of that about crabs, especially the basil thing.
Khaboghrad
Meet the sea urchin. That's why it specifies "the maritime kind" -- the other kind of urchin is a hedgehog. I don't know why the author calls it "worthless and contemptible", especially since they go on to say it can do this really cool thing. Just seems unnecessarily mean.
Lungyoggea
This one is just shellfish. All of them, apparently. The words given are conca and concle -- Latin concha covers shellfish in general.
Magtlegyeg
Naturally the pearl-bearing shellfish is the oyster, but I love the imagery of oysters going ashore to be fertilized by dew from heaven. The idea of going out at night to watch the oysters migrate onto land and catch the dew is another thing I'm taking note of for a fantasy setting.
Nolthrigyo
Someone probably clocked this one: it's the murex snail, source of the famous "tyrian purple" dye.
Ormlalaehr
Really pushing the definition of "fish" here is... the tortoise. Technically also the turtle, I guess, since the author specifies that this includes land and sea varieties. This is, I think, one that makes total sense once you know what it is, so we're moving on to our last one, which is also really pushing the "what is a fish" envelope...
Riggmungku
This is the frog, also obvious once you see it. The fact that it's being called a fish really throws you off, though, I think.
And that's the whole lot. This has been fun, but I'm also glad to have it completed. (Well, completed with the exception of any responses to this one I've missed or that came in late.) Thanks to everyone who's been looking in on this project -- thanks doubly to everyone who contributed -- and thanks triply to the handful of people who drew something practically every week.
#maniculum bestiaryposting#maniculumsneakyseabeasties#Fatrihrukh#Ahrmegyaeb#Bursgaenga#Chraekhret#Dhrakyetor#Eavbechtgi#Griggkhraz#Hretchngin#Khaboghrad#Lungyoggea#Magtlegyeg#Nolthrigyo#Ormlalaehr#Riggmungku
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