#I am probably the least qualified person to ask these things

[strawbebyjam]

unexpected kindness after unintended vulnerability. yeah.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some more little mostly Glassheart/CharmingHeart incorrect quotes

(with other ships)

Bridget: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Ella, exasperated: WHY?!?

Ella points at Red: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Ella points at Chloe: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Ella points at Bridget: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Ella: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

(Ella is so done with them. Red wants to leave. Chloe wanted to do some parkour. And Bridget forgot they weren't in Wonderland.)

---

Red: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated.

Chloe: You once said that about an orange.

Red: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.

(Red finds Auradon weird)

---

Red: Are you okay?

Chloe, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Red: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Chloe?

(That's adorable. Red, honey. You're not in wonderland. Not everything can talk)

---

Red: Mom, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car.

*click*

Red: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!

(She cares. Even if it's just for her own gain.)

---

Red: *on the phone* Hey Mom, do you know my blood type?

Queen of Hearts: Of course, it's B-.

Red: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

((Red is in the hospital with Chloe. Red doesn't know her blood type so she just shrugs and guesses. She tells Chloe that she doesn't know and Chloe then makes some comment about getting the wrong blood type and it not being good, red finally decides to call her mother and ask her.))

---

Chloe: But what about Bridget?

Ella: Don't worry about them.

Ella: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their cupcake like nothing happened.

(Either Bridget is a people pleaser or she's just incredible. Probably both.)

---

Bridget: *accidentally eats something too spicy so their eyes start to water*

Ella: Bridget, look at me. It's okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You're the best person I know.

Bridget: I'm not crying?

Ella, hugging Bridget's head: Shush baby, it's okay. Ella is here and they love you with their whole heart.

(wHy iS It sPicY. Bridget gay panicking)

---

Ella: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

(Facts. But also. Stop trying to deny the gay. Accept it fully)

---

Red: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weirdly.

--

Chloe: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Red: Awww, thanks-

Chloe: That’s not a good thing.

Red: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

(trying to deflect again. You can't run forever Red)

---

Chloe: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.

Red: Huh?

Chloe: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out-

Red: I love you.

Chloe:

Red:

Red: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.

Chloe: I KNEW IT!!

(Red had her Cheshire cat Smile growing. Canon)

---

Red: I was arrested for being too cool.

Chloe: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

(Go Chloe! She and her comebacks are like this 🤞)

---

Chloe: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

(Red was being crowded by a group of people and Chloe was about to throw hands. Or well, rocks.)

---

Chloe: You know, Red, you are the sun in my life.

Red: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

Chloe: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

(the only person that can bully Red is her Girlfriend, Chloe)

---

Cinderella: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.

Red: *Incoherent mumbling*

Cinderella: Huh?

Chloe: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

(Ella hadn't had a good laugh in a while. She's so relieved and amused)

---

Red: Are you mad?

Chloe: No.

Red: So sharpening your sword at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

(Actually yes. But maybe not at 3 am... Better watch out..)

---

Cinderella: How has life been treating you lately?

Queen of Hearts: Horribly.

(canon)

---

Hope you liked it!

I have more but not for now.

Byeeee

[bratphilia]

Heyyyy so I was the person that requested more fics like the flip side (it’s 6 am and I can’t remember if that’s what it’s actually called atm) but I was thinking about possibly a situation where reader has a history with William possibly when they worked at Freddy’s before they shut down and were younger (still of age though; I’m thinking probably when they like reopened for a little bit in the early 90s). Now in the I guess present day they aren’t exactly going out with mike but maybe they are a babysitter and mike and reader are pining over each other?? But him working there brings up bad past memories of your time there but you don’t really want to tell mike.

Honestly looking for lots of tension, slow burn, pining, and angst but not too much angst yk and ofc nsfw

Sorry if this is like too specific or whatever but this has been on my mind for sure

note: i did some age calculating to fit with the timeline so reader is 18 in 1993 and 25 (the same age as mike) in 2000. creds to michy for convincing me this was actually post-worthy.

pairing: steve raglan / william afton x reader x mike schmidt

tags: threesome, rough sex, dub/con, age difference

taglist: @dilfity

triangle (w. afton x reader x m. schmidt)

(in november, 1993, you're a fresh hire at freddy's and the youngest adult on the staff at eighteen years old. it's not an ideal workplace by any means, but it's decent compared to other jobs that you most definitely didn't qualify for. and the people at freddy's are nice! maybe a little too nice, but the motto for the employees was "remember to smile, you're the face of the company" after all.

you work mainly as a waitress. you would say you're pretty good at your job. you're nice to the customers and work surprisingly well with the kids. the uniform is admittedly cute, too. red vest and a black pencil skirt. your skirt, for some reason, came in a bit too small prompting a few lingering glances from employees and patrons, but besides that you don't really mind.

it's a cold, rainy day in autumn. you wish you were wearing pants, but for once you're thankful for the lack of air conditioning in the restaurant. it's closing time and you're heading back to the employees room to grab your jacket and umbrella. you sit on the red, metal bench waiting for your sister expectantly. you never bothered to get your own license because she's always been a reliable source for rides everywhere. tonight was not one of those days. it's been at least an hour. your leg bounces up and down.

you hear the doors shut and a jingle of keys, and the distant scent of cigarette smoke lingers. you turn to see your boss, mr. afton, locking up the restaurant. he turns to you too, clearly confused why you're still here. "shouldn't you be home by now?"

you swing your legs and sigh. "my ride never showed."

he clicks his tongue and looks out to the parking lot, then looks back at you. "why don't i take you home?" you realize in this moment you and mr. afton have never quite really spoke. he's one of the thirty-something-year old owners of freddy's. he wears the springbonnie suit sometimes and performs with the co-owner, mr. emily, for the kids on fridays and saturdays. he's very charismatic and sociable, but mainly with the older crowd of the employees at freddy's. you hear some of your colleagues whispering about him, how he's such a kind and handsome man, which, as you're getting a good look at him right now, the latter is definitely true.

"are you sure?" you ask. mr. afton smiles down at you.

"sure thing. follow me." it's a huge upgrade to what you were previously considering before his offer: walking home in the pouring rain and chancing ruining your uniform.

you follow close behind him. so close that your umbrellas slightly bump into each other. a deep purple-paint-detailed mercedes-benz comes into view. judging by mr. afton's clear affinity for the color purple, as he includes it in at least one part of his daily attire, you assume it's his. he opens the car door on the passenger's side for you.

"thanks," you say politely.

in december, 1993, mr afton — who you've come to know as william — has become a frequent presence in your life. it started when he actually asked you if you wanted another ride home. you had phoned your sister, letting her know there was a change of plans. this became an everyday thing until you no longer needed to call home.

you would be lying if you said you hadn't started to develop feelings for him somewhere along the way. how could you not? he was just such a nice man! so charismatic, not just with you, but with the customers. always asking everyone how their day is going and dropping whatever he's doing to help out. there's was something special about your connection with him. he made you feel special.

it was one rainy day, just like the day back in november, when he stopped you and leaned in and kissed you. it was the most unexpected thing that happened to you in awhile. you don't know what possessed him to do it, but you found yourself eagerly kissing him back. so much that he chuckled and commented on it before sending you off. you spent the rest of the night lying awake in bed, touching yourself to every possibility you could think of.

the next day he avoided you, much to your dismay. you couldn't stop thinking about it. it slowed down your performance, making you distracted. the time just dragged on.

it wasn't until he called you in his office after your shift that you felt any kind of relief. he asked you to lock the door behind you, just like how one of those fantasies you daydreamed of started. with a fast-beating heart, you did what he said and turned to face him. and then his mouth was on yours again. it was much more sensual and yet there was an anxious component to it that made your stomach tingle with excitement.

"why don't you sit on my lap?" he suggested once he pulled away from you.

you froze. you've never actually done this sort of thing before. something delicious curls inside of you. gingerly, you sit on the thigh he patted on and he bounces his leg slightly, the fabric of his pants hitting just the right spot. he laughs at the yelp you give.

"just relax, baby. 's just you and me."

in january, 1994, is when kids go missing. everyone is on edge and patrons are frequenting freddy's less and less. on top of that, the animatronics are malfunctioning more and more, so there are even less customers due to the amount of maintenance that needs to be done.

you and william continue your routine: you fuck and he drives you home afterwards. but lately, something's been weird with william. he's been more... erratic? is that the right word? or just elated. he seems so gleeful, but more violent during sex. he's never showed any masochism until now. he even put a knife to your throat as he pounded into you, threatening to "fucking kill you" if you scream. you took it as just one of those things he says during sex, like when he calls you "slut" and "whore" but it's starting to scare you as it becomes a frequent thing.

it gets worse. you're taking the trash out to the alley when you see the security puppet laying limp. you go and investigate only to find charlie emily, the other owner's daughter, dead and badly hurt. like she's been stabbed repeatedly. you scream in shock and run in to find william, but he's long gone. instead you went to your co-worker, who called the police.

you were asked to stay at the restaurant until you after you were questioned and you told them everything you saw. you looked but william was still nowhere in sight. you walked home that night.

catching the killer was never something you were interested in. in fact, you hoped to do the opposite of some of your vigilant co-workers, who openly investigated the restaurant. some of them ended up missing too. the police had been called at freddy's on multiple occasions.

on one particular occasion, the last one before freddy's closed, actually, you went to the backrooms to catch a breather. what you found? william pouring bleach to bloodied clothes, bloody knife laying on a nearby table. you drop your keys in shock, alerting him. Turning on your heel to break for it, he grabbed the knife and your arm.

"tell anyone and i'll fucking gut you right here, right now," he threatened in a low voice.

you jostle your arm, desperate to break free. "please!" you whisper-shout. "i won't tell anyone, please let me go!"

and for some reason, he trusted you.

freddy's closed after that, and you swore to yourself you would take what happened to the grave. maybe you were a coward, but you had no solid evidence it was him behind the murders. it would all just be hearsay. no one would believe you anyways. william had such a high reputation, not just at fredy's, but within the community.)

--

mike hangs up the phone with a sigh. "so...?" you say, leaning towards his direction in anticipation.

"i took the job," he grumbles. his head is in his hands, running through his hair anxiously.

you throw your hands up in the air in excitement. "yay! we get to keep abby!" mike immediately snaps out of his sulking to bust out laughing. as he shakes his hand, he mentally adds your twisted sense of humor to the endless list of things he loves about you. and your distantly maternal role in abby's life. we get to keep abby.

you snap him out of his thoughts with a question. "who's the lucky employer?"

he laughs again in disbelief. "freddy fazbear's pizza. working in security. they need someone to watch the place and make sure no one breaks in and stuff."

you frown and furrow your brow. freddy's. william. "something wrong?" he muses, noticing your change in demeanor. you shake your head.

"no, nothing. i'm happy for you. sounds.. just peachy." mike shoots you a half-smile.

it's nighttime when it's almost time for mike's shift. your head is in your hands as you sit on the couch. it's one of those times when abby's off in her room, scribbling away with a crayon. you feel sick to your stomach. why did it have to be freddy's? who even gave him this job? why is it still there?

you hear a slew of curses coming from mike's room and decide to investigate. he's struggling with the loop of his belt and you can't help but smile. "need some help?"

he looks at you, face turning red. "you don't have to—"

"oh, come on," you sigh, moving to help him. "it's okay to need help sometimes." mike doesn't say anything, but from the way he's looking at you, he wants to.

"what?" you ask, but mike just shakes his head. you wouldn't understand. you decide to just leave it alone — mike's always been a distant guy.

"you need to be careful," you tell him with a much more serious tone than intended.

"why?" he asks, confused.

you try to relax your face and give him a lighthearted smile. "you should always be careful, mike! you never know what kinds of people you can encounter."

he has no idea.

two days go by. mike comes back home, surprisingly well-rested, until before his third shift when he casually mentions to you that he mainly just sleeps on the job. you freeze at that, worry forming inside of you in the pit of your stomach. "wh-what do you mean you just sleep there?! are you fucking crazy?!"

mike looks bewildered at your outburst. "i told you about this. i'm doing that dream stuff still..."

"okay, but do you have to do it on the job? do you have any idea how dangerous that is, when you're supposed to be looking out for any suspicious behavior." you're poking a finger into his chest, scolding him like he's a child.

"jeez, what's the matter with you?" he sighs in frustration. "if it bothers you that much then why don't you come with me and make sure i stay awake? i'm tired all the fucking time, and you know that!"

you know you shouldn't, for your own safety, but you have to think about mike. besides, if there's two people there, one can call the police. you let your paranoia, and your overwhelming care for mike, get the better of you. "fine. i'll come with you. put on your vest, grab abby, and i'll be in the car."

mike looks at you with sad eyes. you really didn't mean to be so harsh but it doesn't matter; he's more important. the drive over is silent, not that mike is really a talker anyways, but there's a thick tension in the air. your jaw and your fists are clenched anxiously, and you try not to look at him. when he parks the car he sighs and says your name.

the three of you set up camp in mike's office. abby sets up her tent and shortly falls asleep. you pace around the room while mike stares at the cameras, head in his hands with his eyes barely open. you walk over and snap your fingers in front of his face with a huff.

then something goes wrong. mike calls you over. "uh, i think i just saw something move? towards the offices." if it's potential danger, you decide it should be you who goes. not in a heroine sort of way, more of a need for closure.

you make your way slowly towards the offices. the dead silent halls make room for the only sound being your quickened breathing. you can practically hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears. something rustles and, of course, it comes from wiliam's old office. you pray it's a rat.

as you push the door open, you breath a sigh of relief when the room is empty. that is, when someone slaps a hand over your mouth. "how truly lucky i am that you were the one to find me, lovely."

you struggle instantly but he wraps his other arm around your neck and pushes you further into the office. you land on the ground, hitting your head on the chair. looking up at him in horror, you cling onto the chair for dear life and get a good look at him. he admittedly aged well. salt and pepper hair and beard and all, it looks ridiculously good on him. "don't be afraid. i only want to make amends. i saw you were here and—"

"fuck you!" you spit venomously. "i don't want anything to do with you!"

william looks dumbstruck, then he scowls. the look on his face scares you as it contorts horribly. "what is it? is that boy? you realize i'm the one that gave him this job, right?"

"i don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but—"

suddenly, william lunges towards you and grasps you by your cheeks, holding your face tightly. "stop acting like such a fucking brat. remember when you were such an obedient little girl for me? let's go back to that, yeah?"

before you know it, you're being shoved against the desk facing forward. "i'm gonna teach you some fucking manners." you scramble in his grasp but his strength is unmatched. you know what's coming next and it makes you feel something burning in your stomach that you try to convince yourself desperately is sickness.

he pulls down your pants and you begin to sob. "please!"

"look at you, begging for me already," he laughs. he's undoing his belt and you already feel his dick prodding at your entrance. if this was back in the 90s, before all of this bullshit, he would've had the decency to engage in some foreplay, but there's a sense of urgency that makes it all the more—

god, what the hell is wrong with you. you're so fucked.

he undresses your bottom half, leaving you just in your sweatshirt. "gorgeous," he comments. "just as i remember."

you feel his dick prodding at your entrance, and you squeeze your eyes shut as he pushes in. it still feels as good as it did back then. he fucks you nice and slow, emphasizing each thrust with a slap from his hips onto yours. how does he still fuck this well at his age?

instead of picking up his pace gradually, like he used to, he continues to fuck you slowly. you're moaning uncontrollably now, clawing behind you at his chest, hoping he'll get the message and pick up the pace. he doesn't and just laughs darkly. "he doesn't fuck you as good as i do, huh, baby? you needed my dick to satisfy you all those years ago, and still need it now the way you're gushing on my cock."

you want to tell him mike doesn't fuck you at all, and that you're just friends, and that you only belong to him—

someone calls your name from the doorway. you and william both snap your heads towards the direction, only to find a shocked mike with his mouth agape. "mr. raglan? what the fuck is going on?"

"michael schmidt!" william practically exclaims, excited. he stops fucking you, purposefully burying himself to the hilt inside of you so you groan and squirm at the loss of stimulation. "come! come join us! your girl and i were just getting re-acquainted."

"she's not my..." mike trails off, finding himself moving closer without thinking. he takes in your appearance: bottom naked and bent over the desk with a fucked out expression. god, you're so pretty. you're always so pretty, but this is just...

no, this is wrong, he tries to tell himself. it's almost like william reads his mind when he sing-songs, "join us, or i'll kill the both of you."

like there was a devil and angel on mike's shoulder, the devil was winning. he's always wanted to fuck you and he doesn't necessarily have a death wish, either. "what, uh, what do you want me to do?"

your face falls and your mouth goes dry. william speaks with a grin, "why don't we trade places?"

mike scrambles to undo his belt and you practically drool when he pulls his cock out. fuck, you've wanted mike for awhile now. all that pent up tension between you two is finally spilling over the edge. all those lingering glances and long-lasting touches leading up this

especially like this, with your former fling and the guy you babysit for, makes it — and fuck it, you'll say it — all the more hotter. he replaces william's spot behind you and thrusts in quicker than the latter. he's practically humping you, fucking you desperately like he's running after something. his hands grip onto your hips tightly. "yes," william hisses, pumping himself while sitting dowqn in his chair. when you glance at him, he has the audacity to fucking wink at you. "'attaboy, keep goin.'"

that only encourages mike as he moans your name. "fuck, your pussy feels so good — hah!"

"mmm, mike!" you moan back.

"look at you two," william says breathlessly, "what a lovely fuckin' sight." mike begins to plunge in and out, reaching your cervix with each thrust, and you're close already. he senses that, and you can tell he is too by the way his thrusts gradually become more unbalanced. william's grunts are getting louder.

you're the first one to come, then william, and mike is still desperately pushing out of you. for good measure, he lands an uncharacteristic smack on your ass and then buries himself to the hilt becoming coming inside. the feeling of him filling you up is absolutely delicious. when he pulls out he studies the way that his cum drips out of your pussy. he's enamored with you, by the way.

[dear-ao3]

hey since yall are cologne experts (or one of u is idk) what cologne do you recommend to confuse ppl abt my gender

I need a scent that is feminine AND masculine all at once

aright so i am not a cologne expert whatsoever (not sure where you got that one from honestly) but i do happen to have a friend who works at a perfume store and when i asked her to weigh in her opinion on this she was absolutely delighted and wrote you all a novel on how to choose the right fragrance

(very fair warning, this is quite long)

Lessons in Fragrance (by Roza, Saph’s friend)

Buckle up buttercups because I’m about to learn you a thing or two about scent! I used to work at one of the largest “niche” perfumeries in the New England area so I’m like kinda qualified to give advice on fragrance I guess lol

1.scents will smell different on skin than on tester papers due to the fragrance interacting with your body chemistry so something you like on paper you might not like on your skin and vice versa! It’s always important to test on your skin before you buy, most websites that sell fragrance will sell a sample size for a few bucks or even a sample set for $20-$60 depending on how many samples and how high end the brand is! 

2. At the end of the day fragrance (how many times will I say this word probably at least 50) is gender neutral. Cologne versus perfume (or aux de parfum) just denotes how strong the scent will be and how long it will last. The order of weakest to strongest is: aux de toilette, room sprays, linen sprays Essential oil fragrances Cologne Perfume, aux de parfum 

3. there are many types of fragrances some examples of overarching categories are: gourmand: smells like food in some way Fougére: “traditionally masculine” Floral: predominantly flower notes Green: outdoorsy but more grassy and earth based Woodsy: outdoorsy but more tree and wood based Aquatic: notes that create scents reminiscent of bodies of water, ambergris is a common note Oriental: earthy, musky, and warmer notes usually having some sort of amber note Spicy: having heavy spice notes wheather it be peppery or your traditional baking spices These are just some of the most common categories of fragrance.

4. additional to categories, fragrance is further broken down into different sizes and different note tiers with each having its own wear time: you have your top notes, heart notes, and base notes. True to name top notes are the notes of scent you first smell. As the fragrance starts to settle the heart notes will become more prominent as the top notes fade. The base notes have the most longevity and will usually be the hints that you can smell even several hours later.

Sizes: tester sizes tend to be 2-5mL of product. The 4 most common denominations that fragrance come in are a 10-15mL (travel size), 30-35mL (smaller side but still decent amount), 50-60mL (pretty standard size and good amount), 100mL (“full size” and will last a hot sec) Based on personal experience: I’ve had a 30mL fragrance that I wear daily last for about 2 months, I have an 88mL that I wear about once a week that has lasted a year and a half (with 3/4 of a bottle still left), I have 10mL travel sizes that last about 2-3 weeks with daily wear, I have a 50mL that I wear weekly and on occasion use as a room spray too that’s lasted about a year (still have 1/4 bottle left). When talking about wearing the fragrance is talking about one spray per wrist, then tapping them together (NOT rubbing) to help distribute the scent. Sometimes I add an additional spray on my neck. There is never a reason to spray fragrance on your full body b/c it can then become to overwhelming and you’ll be a walking hazard to society (think a 12 yo boy with axe body spray). On occasion if you know it will be a sexy night a spray of fragrance on the ankle can go a long way especially if your legs will be hooked around someone’s head.

5. now without further ado below are Roza’s recs for gender confusing fragrances. I will include the name of the fragrence and line/company, some of the notes, and price point! disclaimer: I am only really familiar with niche fragrances not mainstream or “drugstore”, “department store”, “your typical designer” fragrances

The Recommendations:

My recs: I can’t grantee the spelling on all of these but c’est la vive, the listings are as follows: name of fragrance, line (if applicable), company, maybe a fun fact about the company or scent, description of notes and/or story of how to describe the scent, price point with size of bottle

supernatural #6: by Caswell Massey the oldest American perfume company, was a fragrance worn by George Washington, it is a very clean herbaceous scent (yk to cover up the stench of the unbathed in colonial times since the scent was created in 1772), it has main notes of bergamot (that earl grey tea kind of floral scent) rosemary, neroli, rose, clove and amber, very musky, $40 for a 7.5mL travel size or $225 for a 100mL, also comes in soap form.

LX48: also Caswell Massey, smells like leather chairs and pipe tobacco with hints of florals reminiscent of an old school gentleman’s club, notes of violet, geranium, oakmoss (one of my fav notes across the board), tobacco, cedar wood, and vintage leather, same price points for 7.5mL and 100mL as Supernatural #6, comes in soap form as well.

Beaver: Beaver-Bee are all from the same Canadian line called zoologist which conceptualize their fragrances after the stunning cover art to encapsulate what each animal would wear as a fragrance taking inspiration from their habitats, smells like moist earth and a light breeze carrying greens and florals. Notes of outdoor air, linden blossom, wood shavings, wild vegetation, damp air, dry wood, water, light musk, heavy musk, dark woods, vanilla, amber, castoreum, and leather, pricing the same for Beaver, Snowy Owl, Sloth, and Squid tester for $8, 10mL for $48, and 60mL for $175

Snowy Owl: zoologist, smells like the transition from winter to spring as the snow melts and mud season begins as light florals start to fight their way to the surface, notes of snow accord, lily of the valley, mint, coconut, Turkish rose, frankincense, galbanum, ambrette, cedar, tonka, vanilla, oakmoss, civet, and musk

Squid: zoologist, smells like an inky Black Sea thrashing about in a storm until you reach the calm black depths, notes of pink peppercorn, solar salicylate, incense, black ink accord, opoponax, ambergris, and benzoin musk

Sloth: zoologist, smells like a Victorian apothecary with wooden shelves a plenty mayhaps even thatched awnings overhanging the front windows ripe with scents of various herbs, florals, tinctures, potions and oils a delicate and peculiar balance, notes of chamomile, açaí berry, lavender, violet leaf, marigold (also known as calendula), beeswax, anise, jatamansi, jasmine, cumin, hay, frankincense, myrrh, mushroom, oakmoss, vanilla, tonka

Bee: zoologist, fragrant blossoms that play beautifully with fruity undertones to create a rich and mead like scent, notes of orange, ginger syrup, royal jelly accord, broom, heliotrope, mimosa, orange flower, benzoin, labdanum, musks, sandalwood, tonka, vanilla, sample $8, 10mL travel size $59, 60mL $210

Blackbird: Olympic Orchids, this is my personal favorite scent to the point that I consider it my signature, to me it smells like an ancient forest witch coming out to dance amongst the moonlight a pungent earthy smell full of ripe blackberries, damp cedar and oakmoss to complete the alluring scent, notes of blackberry, dry grass, dry leaves, elemi, cedar wood, resin, woody amber according to, for balsam absolute, and musk, pricing is the same for blackbird the California chocolate and woodcut, sample $3, 5mL $18, 15mL $35, 30mL $65, 100mL $120

California chocolate: Olympic orchids, a fruity chocolate fragrance to encapsulate California, notes of wild orange, grapefruit, yuzu, white cognac, neroli, dark chocolate, patchouli, gourmand musk, bourbon vanilla

Woodcut: Olympic orchids, smells like walking into a scene shop with fresh cut wood or even a cedar closet, notes of fractional distillation of pine and cedar, oak wood, roll balsam, olibanum, caramel, burnt sugar, vanilla

902: bon perfumer, a French company that makes 3 note fragrances perfect for layering with each other a scent you already own or just a subtle fragrance that can stand alone, this one is described as what the peaky blinders would’ve worn, notes of white tobacco, cinnamon and brandy (armagnac), 30mL $60, 100mL $120, 100mL + 15mL set $140

Noir tropical, Maria candida Gentile, smells like an expensive drink at a beachside resort in Italy, notes of bergamot, almond accord, heliotrope, vanilla accord, bourbon, and rum, 7mL 20€ ($21.56), 15mL 37€ ($39.88), and 100mL 155€ ($167.08), also comes in liquid and bar soap form, and a set with the 15mL the candle and the soap

Finisterre, Maria candida gentile, it smells like a breeze on the ocean filled with ambient damp sand and slight citrusy notes caught on the wind from fellow beach goers snacking on fresh fruit, notes of marine accord, wet wood, helichrysum, pine, grey amber, sandalwood, same prices as noir tropical

Plum in cognac, scents of wood, the bottles (for the full size) look like anatomically correct hearts and the colors are customizable when you order, this smells sensual and proactive with its sweet and smoky depth with a realm of familiarity to bring comfort, notes of caramel, tobacco, cinnamon, nutmeg, juicy plum, vanilla, vetiver, aged in a cognac barrel (made with sugar cane alcohol so it absorbs some of the scent notes of the wooden barrel it’s aged in), 10mL $55, 75mL $240

Bulletproof, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk dark line, this reminds me of what a pirate could smell like, notes of smoked tea, coconut milk, crush cedar, and ebony woods, 45mL $52 one size only

Eclipse, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk dark line, smells like a unique mix of spices and florals as mysterious and ever changing as the solar and lunar cycles, notes if black anise, mint leaf, smoked amber, and gardenia, 45mL $52 one size only

Nocturnal, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk dark line, smells like a walk through the woods on a crisp early spring evening, notes of cypress, dark patchouli, vetiver, and night musk, 45mL $52 only one size

Wild whims, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk, smells like wanderlust and wild abandon frolicking through fields in the summer sun, bites of sweet grass, clary sage, verdant (very green smelling) florals, and citron, 30mL $48 one size only, this one layers especially well with green spell!! Most of TokyoMilk can be blended with other fragrances b/c they’re are 4 note fragrances similar to bon perfumer in that sense

Green spell, Eris Parfums, an alluring garden full of specimens for all over the world cultivated with care and just a touch of magic and whimsy, notes of Italian mandarin, French black currant bud absolute, Iranian galbanum, Egyptian violet leaf absolute, French narcissus absolute, tomato leaf accord, fig leaf accord, Haitian vetiver, Ambroxan, and musk, 50mL $165 one size only

Spezie De’ Medici, i profumi di firenze, spezierie palazzo vecchio, this is a very old fragrance line dating back to Italy even before the famed Catherine Di Medici there are whispers that she even wore a few of these fragrances, smells like a warm hug from loved ones in your life as you all bake spice cookies for the holidays, notes of orange, lemon, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, ginger, pink pepper, black pepper, 50mL 46€ ($49.59)

L’uomo di pitti, i profumi di firenze, spezierie palazzo vecchio, an outdoor market in Florence Italy filled with the latest fashions from visitors and importers all of the world with deeply aquatic and herbaceous hints, notes of pink pepper, iris, amber furan, ambergris, labdanum, sage, and rhubarb, 50mL 48€ ($51.74)

Bulls blood, imaginary authors, they create stories of fragrance from books that don’t exist each package (full size) is made to look like said book that doesn’t exist, smells like the perfect balance of brutality and elegance a scent for the lovers and brawlers deeply bold, animalic, and sensuous, notes of geranium, Spanish rose, patchouli, black musk, tobacco, sandalwood, and bull’s blood, sample $6, 14mL travel $42, 50mL $105

Every storm a serenade, imaginary authors, smells like the eye of the storm a day full of moody and choppy waters finally sailing into a brief moment of stillness to absorb the environment, notes of danish spruce, eucalyptus, vetiver, calone, ambergris, and Baltic Sea mist, same pricing as bull’s blood

Musc, Molinard, a French perfume company founded in 1849 with many fragrances full of notes that end up encapsulating one feeling, note, or moment, smells warm, woody, amber heavy musk, notes of muscade nois, bergamot, juniper berries, incense, patchouli, teak wood, musk, amber, and labdanum, 7.5mL 11.67€ ($12.58), 75mL 57.50€ ($61.98)

The Original, Eight & Bob, this fragrance was worn by a young JFK who discovered it through a young man and his family he met while on vacation in the French Riviera, a very classic clean fragrance that can lean on the side of aftershave-esque, notes of cardamom, lemon, pink peppercorn, dried woods, violet leaves, labdanum, evergreen wood, amber, sandalwood, and vetiver, 30mL 80€ ($86.24), 50mL 120€ ($129.36), 100mL 190€ ($204.81), 150mL 210€ ($226.37)

Winter nights, Dasein, comes in a line that is meant to smell like the different stages of winter there is also one for greens and the daytime, smells like a fire pit with friends in late January as the snow has started to pile up but on a blissful day where it is warm enough to go outside a gathering occurs with the rich smell of pine all around, notes of coastal forest, driftwood bonfire, cardamom tea, lavender flowers, wild musk, and woodsmoke, 50mL $125

Almost single, Confessions of a rebel, this is a collection known for making provocative and sexy fragrances with cheeky names, a hazy spicy scent tempered by woody florals, notes of black pepper, cardamom, iris, rosemary, and sandalwood, 8mL $28, 100mL $125 Ray-flection, masque Milano, opera line, an avant garde what would a flower from an alien planet smell like, notes of mandarin essence, sparkling aldehydes, cardamom pure jungle essence, mimosa absolute France, violette leaves absolute, solar rays accord, beeswax absolute, cedar wood essence, and musk accord, tester 6€ ($6.47), 10mL 46€ ($49.59), 35mL 133€ ($143.37)

White whale, masque Milano, opera line, a nod to the novel Moby Dick an adventure for any sea fairer, notes of candles, olibanum, salty rope accordion, black pepper Madagascar, ambergris accord, osmanthus china, violet flower, orris concrete Italy, cedar wood Virginia, patchouli Indonesia, vetiver Haiti, cistus laudanum, tester 7€ ($7.55), 10mL 49€ ($52.82), 35mL 151€ ($162.77)

Lost Alice, masque Milano, opera line, the tales of Alice in wonderland captured via scent in different stages of tea with the mad hatter, notes of bergamot, ambrette seed, clary sage, “Too Much Black Pepper”, carrot heart, Oreos concrete, English tea, white roses (painted red), sandalwood India, broom absolute Italy, and Fleur de lait (steamed milk accord), same pricing as ray-flection although lost alive does have a 100mL option too for 379€ ($408.55)

Pale fire, apoteker tepe, smells like a rich and slightly drunken hot cocoa after coming in from taking the leaves on a blustery fall day, notes of amber, olibanum, palmers, whiskey, and cocoa, sample $8, 6mL $20, 35mL $130, 105mL $280

The holy mountain, apoteker tepe, this is what I imagine the misty mountains to smell like to the point of almost being able to hear singing around a hearth in the background, notes of pine smoke, incense, balsam fir, labdanum, and guaiacwood, same pricing as Pale Fire

After the flood, apoteker tepe, true to the name it smells like the damp earth that’s still waterlogged after immense amounts of rain, notes of violet leaf, water lily, mushroom, patchouli, and wet earth, same pricing as the other two apoteker tepe

Le castiglione, jovoy Paris, from Les cocottes de Paris, another one of my personal favorites that I wear quite often, has been described as smelling like Dracula’s mistress based on a rumor started in the early to mid 19th century surrounding a model who (was described as the world’s vainest woman) once she “got old” (all of 40) she would only leave her house at night and donning all black and the rumors flew leaving behind only whispers and whiffs of this scent as she would walk by, a fragrance that is both earthy and citrusy, with an almost apothecary feel to it that keeps you sniffing the sample trying to figure out what it reminds you of, notes of mugwort, citron, juniper, licorice, patchouli, grey amber, myrrh, and styrax, sample $3, 50mL 75€ ($80.85)

After hours, antica farmacista, smells like sipping on a berry filled night cap paired with a fresh crème brûlée to enjoy in your favorite leather chair by fireside in an old family library, notes if blackberry, cocoa, tobacco, davana, black rose, single malt bourbon, cognac, oud, leather, crème brûlée vanilla, and amber, 10mL travel $22, 50mL $86

Late harvest, fort manle, the packing is really cool and the scents come in bottle that look like vintage ink bottle topped with an ornate golden cap that would work as a wax seal in a pinch, smells how I imagine an older bilbo baggins to smell like while relaxing in the shire smoking his pipe, notes of cherry pipe tobacco, vanilla, cedar wood, rosewood, leather, and rose, sample $10, 50mL $250, it’s pricy but the wear time is insane (I’ve tested it before and had it still smell fairly strong the next day even after showering)

Bojnokopff, fort manle, the story behind this is the famed Russian magician Bojnokopff (idk if he’s actually real tho lol) performing in 1897 St. Petersburg the closing act of his final show before retirement and to amaze the masses he disappears into a cloud of purple haze leaving behind only whiffs of lavender, oud, and chocolate this is a very dark and punchy scent (I find that people either love it or hate it with no inbetween), notes of French lavender, vanilla, dark chocolate, oud, and cedar wood, sample $10, 50mL $250 there is also a discovery set of the entire fort manle line that is $70 for a sample size of 7/8 of their fragrances

Uomo, carthusia, smells like the hot Italian partner you can’t take home to your family who rides a motorcycle while wearing a tank top with a leather jacket while smoking, notes of lemon, bergamot, freesia, green leaves, lily of the valley, jasmine, geranium, cedar wood, patchouli, sandal, palmers, amber, white musk, 50mL 70€ ($75.46), 100mL 90€ ($97.02)

Terra Mia, carthusia, smells like a coffee shop right before open there are notes of citrus roasted nuts and coffee in the air along with the smell of light florals that grace each seating area, notes of bergamot, neroli, pink peppercorn, rose, jasmine, orange blossom, Arabic coffee, hazelnut cream, amber woods, vanilla, ambroxan, and white musk, same pricing as uomo

Mediterrano, carthusia, a bright and sunny fragrance with notes of green tea, notes of wild mint, lemon, eucalyptus, litsea cubeba, red thyme, bergamot, jasmine, cardamom, flowers of the fields, tangerine, green tea, and white musk, same pricing as terra Mia and uomo

Broken Theories, Kerosene, the packaging is cool seeing as it is a nod to the city the fragrance is created in (Detroit) each bottle is painted in motorcycle paint and the metal label is hand stamped, it smells like a fire pit while drinking a spiced mimosa, notes of blood orange, tobacco, spices, vanilla, sandalwood, our, and incense, it’s a heavy but not overwhelming scent that covers you like a blanket and can last several hours without needing to reapply, 100mL $152

Meltdown, elder & willow, these last two are roll on essential oil fragrances that are very budget friendly, this one is meant to calm anxiety and help with grounding, bites of lavender, lemon, ylang ylang, bergamot, rose geranium, vetiver, Roman chamomile, benzoin essential oils, and scent is all in a coconut oil as the carrier, $12 per 10mL roll on

Sweet dreams, elder & willow, meant to promote sleep, notes if lavender, vetiver, Roman chamomile, cedar wood, benzoin essential oils, scent is in coconut oil as the carrier, $12 per 10mL roll on, I love elder and willow they also have teas, bath soaks, and skincare products

And thus concludes fragrance lessons/recs with Roza! I hope this was more informative and less of a fever dream than perfume ads on screen that don’t actually tell you anything about the fucking fragrance and just go off of vibes and celebrity presence!!

[lemotmo]

They're in complete meltdown 🤣🤣🤣. She posted multiple questions at once, I sent everything. They're so bad at this 🤣. Enjoy!

Q. I have a college degree I am more than capable of comprehending the media I consume, certainly more than you are. I know what I'm watching when it comes to Tommy. Tim only came at us so you all would stop running to him crying.

Q. Love how wanting more of and for Tommy makes us the bad guys. You all are so pathetic. Tim's no better, he should have told you all to grow up.

Q. You all are so afraid of Tommy taking Eddie's place on the show and your desperation is showing. We all know Ryan's only there because Tim thinks he's hot.

Q. Tim should be embarrassed by that interview. How immature to call out your audience because we rightly told you that you weren't giving us what we wanted. He brought Tommy in he doesn't get to be upset when we tell him he isn't using him correctly.

A. I posted all of these together because this is what mine and many other ask boxes look like tonight. I will answer these questions jointly instead of one at a time. I want to first point out to all of you that you once again tattled on yourselves. You all seem to have a bad habit of doing that. First tattle was that you all clearly understood that you were who Tim was talking about. The second tattle was the one where we all said Buck didn't matter to you, and these questions prove us right. Buck isn't mentioned in any of these asks. The other thing these asks did though, and I'm positive you all weren't aware you were doing it, is confirm that you are indeed aware of the story the show is actually telling. Pretty sure you all didn't mean to let that little mask slip. Whoops. I do want to address the first ask for a minute though because, anon surely you aren't implying that a college degree is required to be on Tumblr.com discussing fictional television characters? The only qualification required is show/character knowledge (you know that thing many of you don't actually have). But if this is a personal dick measuring contest with me I have a double major in journalism and public relations and my minor was in political science. Does that qualify me to talk about Buck and Eddie being fond of one another? Or Tommy not being the right guy for Buck? What degree is required to be qualified to participate in fandom?

With that out of the way, let's jump straight into the interview since it's what set you all off. We need to acknowledge right away that Tim has spent his entire career dealing with fandoms. Buffy, 911, Lonestar. The man has seen some fandoms. The fact that he said he has never seen anything this ugly should embarrass and alarm you. I know it doesn't do either of those things, but it should. It's also probably very confusing for him because Tommy is very obviously being written as temporary so I'm sure this entire thing has taken him by surprise. But let's start at the beginning. Tommy came into the show at a clear disadvantage, and as a result many things needed to break perfectly in his and his fans favor for him to have any hope of moving the needle on the original storyline. One, everyone important involved in creating the show is firmly in the other ships camp. He needed to convert some pretty important people, that doesn't appear to have happened. Two, his scene partner on the show, Oliver, is also firmly in the camp of the other ship (he is in fact co-president of their fanclub), he needed him to at least be open to the idea of this relationship semi long-term. That very clearly didn't happen. Oliver checked out immediately following episode 6. He has been crickets ever since. Third, he needed a significant portion of the audience, a significant portion, to vocally become Tommy fans. That also didn't happen. He made a fandom dent of his own, and some of you all certainly tried very hard to appear to be many different viewers, but, again, you ratted yourselves out, so that plan didn't work. Lou needed all three of those dominoes to fall in his favor and he went 0 for 3. On top of that the fans that he did amass were described by Tim today in a very unflattering way. And that's putting it politely.

I will even give you the benefit of the doubt and say that the joint interview they sent him and Oliver on was testing the waters (it wasn't but I'm giving you the benefit for argument sake). If that had actually been a test, it was a massive failure. The only thing that interview accomplished was confirming their mutual disinterest in one another. They both tried for a brief minute but neither one was committed enough to the bit to really make an effort. Oliver's season long lack of even being interested in pretending was a death nail even if anyone behind the scenes was willing to think about it. What will be interesting to see is how long he actually sticks around for this season. Because I now believe it will be shorter than they probably ended season 7 thinking it would be. He was never going to be anything major, but I do think once they slowed the original storyline down they had plans to keep him for at least 8a, maybe a bit longer. Now I think he'll be lucky to make 3 episodes. There's a growing part of me that wouldn't be surprised if they did in fact decide to go the off screen breakup route. I raise that theory by suggesting they only released that deleted clip because they needed the audience aware that conversation took place, because it's going to be referenced in a scene in either episode one or two. I still believe the show needs him for at least a couple of scenes. Technically they could have Buck narrate why they broke up, but Buck is a notoriously unreliable narrator. Especially when it comes to himself. He'll paint himself as the bad guy, and this break-up doesn't need a bad guy. It's being written as a bad FIT. There's a difference. But if Tim, or especially ABC, believes Lou ended up causing more trouble than he was worth (he did) they'll cut their loss and explain the break-up and reasoning behind it (that's the part they need Tommy for) another way. It can be done though, it just won't be as cohesive as actually using Tommy to show it. In short, anons, the only thing Tim's interview today confirmed was that Lou's cameo nonsense did in fact create a mess that Tim, and company, are not at all happy about. Congratulations you played yourselves.

On a side note I didn't address the Eddie ask because you all have spent the entire off-season trying to hijack his entire character history to turn into Tommy's backstory. I think that proves who's actually afraid of who. And Ryan is hot. Tim is so valid for thinking that, but it's not the reason he has the job. But you knew that already.

I must admit that the OP has more patience than me. I got so angry seeing those questions she got in her askbox. I would have probably ended up deleting a bunch of them.

That being said, I love this answer so much. I agree 100% with everything here.

I think this deserves another one of these:

Thank you Nonny for dropping this in my inbox!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I made a document that publicly pointed out that my ex-mutuals (and former close friends) had NSFW discussions with minors (which included me at the time)?

TW for possible grooming; I'm not sure what criteria behavior has to meet to be grooming, but we'll get there when we get there.

I mainly feel like this is just petty because it happened back in 2021/2022, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to get some judgement for this. Also, to get this out of the way ahead of time, as far as I know nobody was baiting anyone; in fact I didn't realize that the behavior from my adult mutuals was probably not good until INCREDIBLY recently.

So for context, two years ago I (gender irrelevant, but I'm almost 20) had a fairly close-knit friend group. Mixed ages, but I believe the youngest was around 16. Oldest was mid-20s. When everything started, I was 17. My mental/emotional maturity isn't exactly that of a 20 year old, and my mental/emotional maturity at that age wasn't exactly that of a 17 year old. I very much act younger than I am sometimes, especially online. Additionally, I was open about my life at home not being great.

As an emotionally and mentally immature 17 year old, I would post NSFW in the form of text more than I should have (by which I mean I probably shouldn't have been doing it all at 17, at the very least not publicly where adults could find it). At the start I was pretty openly hesitant about it, but the adults in my mutual circle honestly kinda encouraged it? This eventually spread out, and my mutuals who were younger than me started joining in (and remember, these mutuals were 16-17, and the oldest adult in the mutual circle was mid-20s; before I get asked, I do believe the adults in the group were aware as most of the individuals in this mutual circle had either their age or their age range {ie, minor or adult} in their bios).

This experience, frankly predictably, caused a fuckton of damage to my moral view when it comes to this kind of stuff, by which I mean I've seen similar situations, saw people telling the younger person to get out, and thought "man I feel like they're overreacting" when they're obviously not. I don't know if desensitizing me to it was intentional or not, and that specifically is why I don't know if it qualifies as grooming (as I am unsure if grooming has to be intentional or not).

Seeing people interact with me then looking through their posts to find out they've interacted with the adults in this ex-friend group just puts a bad taste in my mouth, which again, is something I didn't realize the reasoning for until recently.

I just kinda feel like it'd be a dick move to make a document detailing things that happened 2 years ago, but at the same time someone in their mid-20s having and encouraging NSFW conversations with minors is something I think is worth pointing out. So WIBTA if I made a document detailing all this and posted it publicly?

What are these acronyms?

[buwheal]

[You've Got Mail!]

You can now send your favorite salesman emails!! YAY!!

Here's some rules and information about the askbox.

First and foremost;

I will not answer every single ask. Sometimes I just cant do anything with it that will work realistically with the perimeters of the world, and I apologize!! Its nothing against you guys!!

(Unless you break the rules ofc.)

So if you dont see yours after a long while, it’s probably something that wont work, sorry! You can always send it again for a second try or send more than one ask whenever and see if that one works instead!

Besides that, here’s the rest of what you need to know!

[RULES] :

Spamton can only talk through the computer, so dont send asks that have a physical interaction!! Sorry! Thats just how i decided to set up the world/situation, and is not really anything against you guys :-)

(more of a request than a rule tbh) Preferably try to send real questions or statements. most "joke" asks are funny, but are surprisingly hard to create an in character response for. You can still send joke asks if you really want to, just dont always expect an answer X-P (i.e. asks that contain nonsense,, you can still be funny and make regular jokes, and i should probably specify that, but things that are like "you look like a worm" or smth i have no clue what to do with lol)

I know he may be a personification of spam emails... BUT DONT SPAM!!! It clogs the askbox and is a real pain!! You can send him more than one ask, though, as long as you arent repetitively sending a ton in a short burst!! Send as many as you'd like as long as they dont qualify as spam.

Dont be overly sexual or romantic, please! Even "As a joke". I dont like Spamton like that and it makes me uncomfortable, and I can't really answer that in character in a way that wouldnt provoke more of that. (You can be a flirt, but not much more than that.) Thank you!!

Be respectful and patient!! I am just one person doing everything, and this got far more popular than anticipated, so i will take a long time. I try my best to get at least one out every other day but i'll need breaks eventually!!!

I cannot give/spawn/materialize things for/to Spamton if you ask because of the way it’s set up. You are really just lines of text from a computer to Spamton, BUT... You can still do a lot if you think outside the box. or,, errr,, outside the computer. More like IN the computer. Kind of. Your words and your actions affect him and his reactions to you, so word it correctly and you can get him to do something or say something. Hes not stupid though, and he CAN usually tell when your intentions are... less.. than good.

Try not to do RP as other characters please.(Thats my job…!) I literally have no idea what to do with them and i feel bad leaving them in there :frown:

[INFORMATION] :

(Optional read :-P )

[YGM!] is technically an AU!!! not only do the events of the game not occur, but this is also set before then!

Asks are put out one a day, regardless if i have more than one, UNLESS i need to connect two(or more) to complete one event. Or i feel like it. a little treat.

I am one person doing every ask and every unique frame of art, so expect 1 ask (If youre lucky, two) maybe every other day Monday-Friday depending on my workload per day.

This is just for fun!! I am using the askbox to exercise my drawing consistency, Spamton's personality, and the way he speaks and responds to different situations! This is a way I am using to improve my understanding of him as a character, so it wont be always consistent as I am growing and learning!

Just a little disclaimer, he WILL be mean. He is a sour, nasty, grumpy, bastard and I am absolutely not opposed to him responding as such. Just keep that in mind when sending an ask if you dont want that!

If you want a common outcome, talk to other people about it! go crazy! I dont mind long threads on my posts if you want to create a plan. Infact, I can even help and tell you things occasionally!!

What you say to him DOES and WILL affect the way he responds. It is possible to regain his trust, but still a little hard. He is not a trusting person to begin with and being mean certainly doesnt help. BUT.. I am not opposed to being mean. Infact, they are quite fun to do. Either way is entertaining for me, so do as you will. YOU can choose to hurt or help him, because it’s basically always reversible in a way.

Using tone tags, while not required, are really helpful and assist me in understanding the intention in your ask if you think it may be interpreted another way! (i.e. sarcasm) :-)!!

I pick and choose asks depending on his situation, or if i have a good idea for a response, so you may need to wait a bit before i can get to yours!! Ones that i have an idea for take priority, especially when its to progress a scene. Or, alternatively, i am saving your ask for something i have planned.

I WILL reuse frames and poses to get these out faster and for my convienence :-) especially for the frames where there is no need to change his pose! So like.. dont think too hard about it lol.

Also, i prefer if you specify if the ask is for me /or/ Spamton. I do still do normal asks!! If its for me, just let me know!! I can usually tell, but most asks will be interpreted as for Spamton. I appreciate ones that start with his name before said thing is asked/stated specifically!! (i.e. "Spamton, __ __ __")

I wont be consistent with the way its answered. Sometimes it's one panel, sometimes its a couple panels, or sometimes they're animated gifs!! It varies depending on what i feel, so if youre lucky you can get a gif, lol. Those take longer usually though. Ive mostly switched to a gif format rather than multiple panels in a comic style, because its much easier to view! The animation quality can vary :-)

Thats about it!! Have fun!! ^_^

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC cast x fairy!reader

Hey anon I totally didnt accidentally post your ask before it was done being written and deleted it in a panic I promise that did not happen, if you happen to see this

Anyways

Uhuh

I never actually watched peter pan or any of the tinkerbell films(?????) So uh uh uh!!! I am yappin about stuff I'm not qualified for!!

CAINE:

OOOOOH!! He thinks you look so so cute and pretty! You guys fly together and talk, I think that's nice! Absolutely does call you tinkerbell

Probably adds a quiet and sped up "trademark" when he calls you that

Is tinkerbell trademarked? I... actually dont know how trademarking works... I know how copyright works but uhuh

He makes you a garden in the digital world, makes it huge with the most exotic plants he can think of! ...some probably dont actually exist in the real world

POMNI:

Depending on if you're normal sized or on the shorter side, I think she would find comfort in knowing that theres another short person around... does not enjoy the dust you leave behind when you start flying, though, it feels like glitter... feels very

Gritty...

RAGATHA:

Honestly I love the idea that ragatha grew up on fairly tales

Princesses, monsters, snot course, fairies! So I think even if she doesnt remember her life in the real world, she finds a comfort in being around you!

Oh she thinks you're so so pretty... I think she would keep some of your dust and out it in some jewelry. Like a locket,.. I think thatd be cute esp if you two are together

She doesnt even wanna use it for anything, assuming the dust has actual properties that effect stuff.. she just thinks its pretty

JAX:

I hope you guys all know that when he calls you tinkerbell he doesnt mean it as a cute endearing lovey dovey couple name. At least not fully. Nah at least some of it is him messing with you

I think he harvests your dust and throws it at people

Pocket sand!/ref

Definitely makes fun of your height if you're short. You dont even have to be the shortest. In fact I think he might even exaggerate how short you are. Might even say you're shrinking

All in good fun, of course

KINGER:

Ah... a ruler and a "magical" creature... just like in the story books!

Probably treats you as if you were a real fairy, even though he likely knows you're not..

"My radiance," became you shimmer and glow thanks to your dust and "magic"

You know how some people write people absolutely fawning over beautiful mythical creatures that theyve just discovered?

That's kinger with you

GANGLE:

ZOOBLE:

Oncr again I am presenting the hc that zooble was into supernatural and mythological stuff before they got stuck in the digital circus, so they would definitely hold at least a little interest in your digital body... though I dont think they would like your dust, either, since it can get stuck in between their limbs and joints and crevices and

Ieufjgkgmgmv

You know?

Probably hits you with those lil handheld vacuum cleaners before you even enter their room

Nope, no dust today!

Its nothing against you personally, it's just so uncomfortable for them..!

Also thinks you're really pretty! Makes art for you and probably incioperates your dust into the art!

I think I mentioned this idea in... I dont remember if it was a winged reader or a bird reader or both.. but I said she incooperates the readers loose/fallen feathers into art gifts, like how people used to put the hair of their deceased loved ones in jewelry

Same thing here but of course you're not deceased!

[phoenixyfriend]

Ko-Fi prompt from Isabelo:

Hi! I'm new to the workforce and now that I have some money I'm worried it's losing its value to inflation just sitting in my bank. I wanted to ask if you have ideas on how to counteract inflation, maybe through investing?

I've been putting this off for a long time because...

I am not a finance person. I am not an investments person. I actually kinda turned and ran from that whole sector of the business world, at first because I didn't understand it, and then once I did understand it, because I disagreed with much of it on a fundamental level.

But... I can describe some factors and options, and hope to get you started.

I AM NOT LEGALLY QUALIFIED TO GIVE FINANCIAL ADVICE. THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE.

What is inflation, and what impacts it?

Inflation is the rate at which money loses value over time. It's the reason something that cost 50 cents in the 1840s costs $50 now.

A lot of things do impact inflation, like housing costs and wage increases and supply chains, but the big one that is relevant here is federal interest rates. The short version: if you borrow money from the government, you have to pay it back. The higher the interest rates on those loans, the lower inflation is. This is for... a lot of reasons that are complicated. The reason I bring it up is less so:

The government offers investments:

So yeah, the feds can impact inflation, but they also offer investment opportunities. There are three common types available to the average person: Bonds, Bills, and Notes. I'll link to an article on Investopedia again, but the summary is as follows: You buy a bill, bond, or note from the government. You have loaned them money, as if you are the bank. Then, they give it back, with interest.

Treasury Bills: shortest timeframe (four weeks to a year), and lowest return on investment. You buy it at a discount (let's say $475), and then the government returns the "full value" that the bond is, nominally (let's say $500). You don't earn twice-yearly interest, but you did earn $25 on the basis of Loaning The Government Some Cash.

Treasury Notes: 2-10 year timeframe. Very popular, very stable. Banks watch it to see how they should plan the interest rates for mortgages and other large loans. Also pretty high liquidity, which means you can sell it to someone else if you suddenly need the cash before your ten-year waiting period is up. You get interest payments twice a year.

Treasury Bonds: 20-30 years. This is like... the inverse of a house mortgage. It takes forever, but it does have the highest yield. You get interest payments twice a year.

Why invest money into the US Treasury department, whether through the above or a different government paper? (Savings bonds aren't on sold the set schedule that treasury bonds are, but they only come in 30-year terms.)

It is very, very low risk. It is pretty much the lowest risk investment a person can make, at least in the US. (I'm afraid I don't know if you're American, but if you're not, your country probably has something similar.)

Interest rates do change, often in reaction or in relation to inflation. If your primary concern is inflation, not getting a high return on investment, I would look into government papers as a way to ensure your money is not losing value on you.

This is the website that tells you the government's own data for current yield and sales, etc. You can find a schedule for upcoming auctions, as well.

High-yield bank accounts:

Savings accounts can come with a pretty unremarkable but steady return on investment; you just need to make sure you find one that suits you. Some of the higher-yield accounts require a minimum balance or a yearly fee... but if you've got a good enough chunk of cash to start with, that might be worth it for you.

They are almost as reliable as government bonds, and are insured by the government up to $250,000. Right now, they come with a lower ROI than most bonds/bills/notes (federal interest rates are pretty high at the moment, to combat inflation). Unlike government papers, though, you can deposit and withdraw money from a savings account pretty much any time.

Certificates of Deposit:

Okay, imagine you are loaning money to your bank, with the fixed term of "I will get this money back with interest, but only in ten years when the contract is up" like the Treasury Notes.

That's what this is.

Also, Investopedia updates near-daily with the highest rates of the moment, which is pretty cool.

Property:

Honestly, if you're coming to me for advice, you almost definitely cannot afford to treat real estate as an investment thing. You would be going to an actual financial professional. As such... IDK, people definitely do it, and it's a standby for a reason, but it's not... you don't want to be a victim of the housing bubble, you know? And me giving advice would probably make you one. So. Talk to a professional if this is the route you want to take.

Retirement accounts:

Pension accounts are a kind of savings account. You've heard of a 401(k)? It's that. Basically, you put your money in a savings account with a company that specializes in pensions, and they invest it in a variety of different fields and markets (you can generally choose some of this) in order to ensure that the money grows enough that you can hopefully retire on it in fifty years. The ROI is usually higher than inflation.

These kinds of accounts have a higher potential for returns than bonds or treasury notes, buuuuut they're less reliable and more sensitive to market fluctuations.

However, your employer may pay into it, matching your contribution. If they agree to match up to 4%, and you pay 4% of your paycheck into an pension fund, then they will pay that same amount and you are functionally getting 8% of your paycheck put into retirement while only paying for half of it yourself.

Mutual Funds:

I've definitely linked this article before, but the short version is:

An investment company buys 100 shares of stock: 10 shares each in 10 different "general" companies. You, who cannot afford a share of each of these companies, buy 1 singular share of that investment company. That share is then treated as one-tenth of a share of each of those 10 "general" companies. You are one of 100 people who has each bought "one stock" that is actually one tenth of ten different stocks.

Most retirement funds are actually a form of mutual fund that includes employer contributions.

Pros: It's more stable than investing directly in the stock market, because you can diversify without having to pay the full price of a share in each company you invest in.

Cons: The investment company does get a cut, and they are... often not great influences on the economy at large. Mutual funds are technically supposed to be more regulated than hedge funds (which are, you know, often venture capital/private equity), but a lot of mutual funds like insurance companies and pension funds will invest a portion of their own money into hedge funds, which is... technically their job. But, you know, capitalism.

Directly investing in the stock market:

Follow people who actually know what they're doing and are not Evil Finance Bros who only care about the bottom line. I haven't watched more than a few videos yet, but The Financial Diet has had good energy on this topic from what I've seen so far, and I enjoy the very general trends I hear about on Morning Brew.

That said, we are not talking about speculative capital gains. We are talking about making sure inflation doesn't screw with you.

DIVIDENDS are profit that the company shares to investors every quarter. Did the company make $2 billion after paying its mortgages, employees, energy bill, etc? Great, that $2 billion will be shared out among the hundreds of thousands of stocks. You'll probably only get a few cents back per stock (e.g. Walmart has been trading at $50-$60 for the past six months, and their dividends have been 57 cents and then 20.75 cents), but it adds up... sort of. The Walmart example is listed as having dividends that are lower than inflation, so you're actually losing money. It's part of why people rely on capital gains so much, rather than dividends, when it comes to building wealth.

Blue Chip Stocks: These are old, stable companies that you can expect to return on your investment at a steady rate. You probably aren't going to see your share jump from $5 to $50 in a year, but you also probably won't see it do the reverse. You will most likely get reliable, if not amazing, dividends.

Preferred Stocks: These are stock shares that have more reliable dividends, but no voting rights. Since you are, presumably, not a billionaire that can theoretically gain a controlling share, I can't imagine the voting rights in a given company are all that important anyway.

Anyway, hope this much-delayed Intro To Investing was, if not worth the wait, at least, a bit longer than you expected.

Hey! You got interest on the word count! It's topical! Ish.

[susiephone]

Or, a crash course in checking your sources. Because we've all seen some absolutely bullshit stuff spread around the internet, and Tumblr definitely isn't immune to it.

It can be hard to sort out the fact from the rumor from the propaganda when a story is actively developing, especially one that is fast-moving and has a lot of voices coming in from all sides, but it is vitally important that you check your sources before spreading a claim.

It's easier to verify or disprove a claim about something that's purported to have happened in the past, so, admittedly, checking stuff that's purported to be happening now is a messy, confusing process. All the more reason to err on the side of caution.

I am not a journalist or professional researcher or historian or anything like that, so this is all coming from a layman who does their best to be informed. If I get anything wrong, or anyone more qualified has something they want to add, please let me know in the notes.

Why should I check my sources?

Because you should care whether you're spreading propaganda or not.

Because sometimes in the heat of the moment, when emotions are running high, it's easy to be misled.

Because every time you spread misinformation to help your own cause, even - or especially! - if that cause is righteous, it becomes a ding on your credibility, and the credibility of your cause.

Because when you don't, a journalist loses their wings. Probably. Fact-check me on that.

How do I know when to check my sources?

If you don't recognize the source, check it.

If you hear a claim and think, "Wow, that is so cartoonishly evil," or, "That's so absurd I'd think it was far fetched if it was in a movie," or, "It's weird no mainstream outlets are reporting on this," check it.

Now, a claim sounding too bizarre or evil to be real doesn't always mean it isn't--I mean, half of what I hear about George Santos sounds like an SNL sketch and it always ends up true. But check it.

If the claim sounds like something a Nazi would want you to believe, check it.

If a claim is only being spread by one or two small sources, check it.

How do I check my sources?

The following sites are great resources for fact-checking.

PolitiFact. Ranks claims on a truth-o-meter and provides context for what's true, mostly true, kinda true, and made-up.

Media Bias/Fact Check: Publishes lists of fact checks from other credible sources, and ranks media outlets on their bias and trustworthiness.

Climate Feedback: Verifies claims about science, especially climate change.

Lead Stories: Verifies claims as they develop, especially stuff spreading on social media.

Here is a list of sources Media Bias/Fact Check considers to be the least biased.

What are some red flags to search for? / What are some questions I should ask myself?

Does the claim only come from a handful of small sources?

Do all those sources only cite each other?

It bears repeating: does this claim sound especially sensational or over-the-top? I know it sounds basic, but when you're furious at somebody (be it a person or a government or a system), it can be easy to believe every horrible thing you hear about them. But just because someone is awful doesn't mean every rumor about them doing awful things is true, and you still have a responsibility to keep your criticism accurate.

Who provides funding to the source? Do they work off of grants, reader donations and subscriptions, government backing, private donors? Do they not disclose their funding at all?

Has the source been caught spreading false info before? How long ago was this? Did they issue a correction in a timely manner? Was the journalist who spread the false claim fired or otherwise reprimanded? Does it seem like it was a mistake, or was there an agenda at play? Has the source taken steps to reestablish credibility?

Who benefits from me believing this?

Okay, I did all my fact-checking, and I'm really not sure if this claim is true or not.

Then don't share it.

If more information comes out and it turns out to be true, then go ahead.

But if there's doubt, don't share it.

Okay, sure, but the claim sounds like it could be true, and-

"Could be true" and "is true" are not the same.

Fine, but the person or government it's talking about has already done so many awful things, even if this specific rumor isn't true-

DON'T. SHARE. IT.

I am going to come to your house and bite you.

Further information.

How to fact-check like a pro.

The Psychology of Fact-Checking.

What is fact-checking?

Misinformation (YouTube video)

And there we go! If anyone has anything to add, go ahead, but I will be monitoring the comments and will be blocking any nonsense.

There's enough misinformation spread by bad actors in our current media landscape. Please don't make their job any easier.

[suzie-shooter]

Screaming Meals - Le Mans commentary highlights 10.06.23

 J: It's quarter to three, race is due to start at three o'clock. Obviously, you know, told Marcus to get here at two. C: Still not here.

J: I think the Cadillacs should have a good race. I mean it broke down in qualifying yesterday, it couldn't manage to do 45 minutes and now it's got to do 24 hours.

C: Roland Garros, women's finals, at the moment. J: Who's in that? C: Swiatek and [...] I don't know the other person. J: I went to school with someone called Swiatek. [...] But he was called Matthew so it's probably not him.

C: Why am I eating? Bit of a rough morning really. J: To say the least. Clem's parked up on struggle street.

C: Hoping for a moist affair.

C: Damn, my ramen's going to go everywhere. J: Ramen's going to be great ASMR as well, slopping and slurping everywhere like some kind of deranged ignoramus.

J: "What were Marcus' thoughts on James' last stream?" I think he quite liked it - I don't think he watched it 'cause he was racing so I don't know if he has too many thoughts on that stream. Nothing really happened, and yeah from his point of view he was a bit busy, so...

C: "Did Marcus like the Detroit track?" J: He loved it actually. C: D'you know what, you can ask him when he arrives, but, fucking, probably won't arrive. J: He's not officially late for another seven minutes.

C: So James is doing a 24 hour stream. J: I'm not.

C: Great mouthfeel. If I could paint a picture with words for ya,  it's ah, it's really good. J: I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have a real career waiting for you in food blogs.

C: I'm gonna take a couple of the old chillies out there. J: What an absolute - front cartilage. C: No, listen, I'm a backbone. Oh! Front cartilage, that's the opposite of a backbone. J: There you go, well done.

C: Loving the shorts too. J: Thank you. They were on sale. In 2014. C: Where'd you get those? J: I believe these are Billabong actually? C: Billabong? I didnt take you for a surfer. J: Yeah, I actually, I thought about learning surfing in September of 2017 and then quite quickly had the realisation that I was due to move to London in 2 months and it would be absolutely pointless.

J: [Marcus has] let us down, he's let himself down,  but more importantly - C: He's shaving his legs. J: He's let you guys down.

J: Let's see if Bourdais fucks it. C: That's not very nice James.

J: I'd love to see a replay of it, 'cause it was actually quite funny [...] oh it'd really tear your undies, on lap one of Le Mans, to put it in the wall like that.

C: Yeah, no, Dyson Airwrap, allows me to really straighten my hair in the mornings there and, er, allow me to have a bit more of a - bit more control.   J: Control's important. Just tell that to Jack Aitken.  

C: We've just got a slight issue really, getting new guests on. J: Yeah, no one seems to be keen. C: No one seems to be keen  these days. J: I'm not sure what's happened...

J: I left for Monaco, and I packed two hats and I returned with four. And I didn't even buy one.

C: Not only is it absolutely massive but it's also bent. (Alain Prost's nose)

C: Shall we give Marcus a call, see what he's up to? [...] Yes mate, you've got 750 people waiting for you to arrive, but you seem to be 40 minutes late [...] ah, fuck him. *hangs up*

C: Thing is, we promised Marcus and he's just not quite delivered. J: Yeah...I feel sorry for the woman who ends up with him.

C: A lot of people asking whether I should be sitting their Business A Levels - I actually participated - partake - ah - partook in the business exam a couple of years ago. J: Must have done well in your English one as well.

J: As an organisation, two thirds of us - well, three quarters with Rory - do care about you, the fans. Marcus is a scoundrel and a traitor. C: He's a sort of a Han Solo character. J: What, he gets it on with his sister? C: Yes James. J: I'm not accusing anyone of anything there. I regret I said that actually, but I've said it now.  Okay, so they're saying I was wrong there. C: You've fucked it up again.

J: I'm thinking that we're gonna need to reach out to the Serbian star and maybe start some kind of merch line: Novalak Djokovic.

J: So hot as well. Turned himself into a real DILF actually, Dan Carter. C: Absolute DILF. Dan Carter. Who's the biggest DILF for you? J: Ah what, just full stop, or in a certain area, or field? C: Full stop. J: It's probably got to be, um, Ryan Reynolds. C: Yeah, I was going to go with Ryan Reynolds. J: Yeah, he's a total DILF. C: Toto Wolff, in the comments. J: I feel like he'd be pretty boring in the sack. Patrick Dempsey, I mean you want to talk about hot old dudes and Le Mans, he's obviously got this team racing here.

J: Kimi Raikkonen there getting an honourable mention for, I'm assuming the DILF chat. C: Ah Kimi - pretty -  I mean -  probably not a - I wouldn't say he's a very vocal lover. J: Nah , he'd be a very silent lover. He'd be - I mean similar to Formula 1 media he'd communicate only in grunts and groans I believe. Very monotonous in his delivery of his love.

C: "Josef Newgarden qualifies as a DILF now." J: He does technically qualify as a DILF if - if he floats your boat, and you know, just speaking for myself there he's certainly floating mine.

J: I'm sure somebody knows what's going on here but it's not us. C: I've got no fucking idea.

(Screaming Meals technical gremlins make an appearance, giving us a brief glimpse of their kitchen)

J: Fixed! Fixed! How good! Just like the Formula 2 championship. C: I'm distancing myself so far away from that comment.

J: Where were we? I think we were talking about DILFs? C: Tom Hardy. DILF? J: Yeah, he's actually not my flavour of crisps to be honest, actually, Tom Hardy. He's quite short. I mean, you know, I'm not on the market, I'm just saying. C: You never cease to amaze me.

C: "Marcus being a male bimbo again." J: That would imply that at some stage he's actually stoppped being - 'cause you've said again - that implies that he's stopped being a male bimbo, whereas he's not.

J: "Marcus is Ken coded" - do you know what that means? C: Nope.

J: Clem's shades not quite dark enough to hide the fact that his eyes are now closed.

*Clem keels over sideways* J: Seem to have momentarily lost Clement Novalak, but I'm sure he will return.

J: 4.09 arrival predicted from Marcus Armstrong. C: Which is currently another 15 minutes. J: That's actually bang on 69 minutes late from Marcus Armstrong, you'd expect nothing less to be perfectly frank.

C: "Take a shot each time Clem yawns" - you're gonna be dead.

C: You're looking pretty moist.

C: Max Fewtrell. Doing the cooking. Probably doing a stream on cooking. J: Caged in his gimp suit on a leash.

J: I've been getting vastly mixed reviews on my long locks. C: It sort of looks a bit pubey at the back. J: Ally hates it. Ally fucking hates it. Which is why I'm keeping it.

C: First time he's actually text me since - hold on hold on - 17th May. J: There's a text string of Clem - I hope you don't mind me exposing this - there's three texts in a row from Clem to Fewtrell going - "Brother, I have an idea, a good one too" and he's just blanked him, he's not replied. Wise man. When Clement Novalak texts you to say he's got a good idea, don't fuckin' respond.

J: It really gets deep inside my goat. C: You do have a nice goat.

J [talking about buzzcuts]: Do you think it has like the same effect as like your downstairs, where it makes it look much bigger? C: I wouldn't want to have a massive head. J: Yeah exactly, that's what I'm thinking. C: 'Cause then it would make my massive honker look even larger. J: Yeah, no you don't want that. I can't afford my honker to look much bigger. I'm talking about my nose.

J: You do a good impression of a whipcrack actually. C: I just spat all over myself. J: Tune into Screaming Meals and watch two guys spit all over each other.

C: If I get a Pret [coffee] I'm gonna throw my phone out the window. J: Actually no you shouldn't do that it might kill someone. We're 28 floors up.

J: Actually I'm going to put the shot glasses in the freezer. Do you think I should put one in for his - his friend as well - do you think she's with him?

J: Yes it is a massive bottle of Corona, your eyes aren't deceiving you, Clem's not actually that small.

J: Is that our doorbell? I've never heard that before.

J: I had dinner with Marcus and a friend of his yesterday - can't remember her name - and he was still trying to insist that he's 6 ft tall.

J: "James show us the snazzy shorts you're wearing"

M: How are ya? C: You're three minutes late so that's  three shots. J: No, no, no you're an hour and thirteen minutes late.

M: How are you feeling? C: Pretty rooted. Where are we going tonight?

M: I'm not having any shots. I'm not drinking today. I've got to do some stuff later.

C: You disappoint me. M: I know. C: Every day. M: Yeah, I know.

J: My back is absolutely destroyed from carrying this shit. C: Yeah James, you do carry.

C: Marcus? M: Yo. J: Where do you stand on DILFs?

J: Up in the hypercar field it's been real bumper to bumper. C: C&B, bumper to bumper. J: Is C&B meaning what I think it means?

J: I hate to be fussy but could you two bastards move over a bit? C: I need to lie back and have a wee sleep.

M: Did you tell them we did a pod yesterday? J: No. M: Were we keeping that a secret? J: Yeah, we were.

M: Is this slaving away? I can't think of anything better than sitting back, watching the race, feet up on the table. C: No, get your grippers out! M: Oh the grippers are out by the way everyone. C: Disgusting, piece of filth. J: [...] five minutes, and it's underwear off, shoes off, grease in the hair.

J: "Marcus is raw-dogging his shoes" - yes!

M: By the way I have actually - I've started washing my hair everyone. You'll find out in the pod. C: And wearing deoderant. M: And wearing deoderant as well. C: And do you know what, you look better and I'm starting to think that - M: I am better. J: You might even just taste better. C: Pfffff what the fuck?? J: I was just going with the senses there. You said look, the obvious next choice was taste.

M: When we went to Long Beach weren't we meant to do an intro video? J: We wanted to do something like that, but we did run out of time because we were being cancelled and you had an indycar race to do.

M: Do you still have this as your background? J: HoyteyJ and Minougey? Hoytey. C: You've taken Hoytey off yours M: I've had to change mine. C: Yeah, I know why. J: What is it now? M: It's a dog. J: Well that's a bit rude. C: That's a bit rude. *James screams* M: It's literally like - no - it's a labrador, it's literally a little baby labrador, no! C: Oh shit yeah [chat's] just gone off. M: Come on!

C: I don't have a CV. I arrive, I say - Clement Novalak, enchante.

J: What? M: Heart rate J: Is 34? M: Yes. J: Are you alive? M: When I'm sleeping it dips down. J: When you're asleep your heart rate is 34? M: Yes. My Oura ring stops counting when it goes under 33. J: Does it assume you're dead?

C: It was the first night I had redbull vodka in about six months [...] I was doing a long distance run mate, in my bed. J: Don't need to know any more details than that.

C: Can you fucking - leave your grippers away from my grippers? J: Yeah, that's quite aggressive. C: With that fucking massive toenail. M: I just wanna play footsie [...] yeah, we're playing footsies everybody.

J: Imagine having the audacity to leave people waiting an hour and a quarter, and then just being on your phone.

M: Clem are you okay mate? Good.

J: Fuckin' hell, you selling tickets there mate? M: Gun show there. J: Watch Marcus now get competitive and not be able to resist getting his guns out.

J: What's going to run out first, our countdown to 22 hours, or the iPad battery? That might be the most interesting battle we've got going on here.

J: Thanks so much for sticking with us for the last couple of hours [...] we don't know anything that's going on in the race and we've made almost no effort to find out.

[zombiee-reviews]

Keirr character discussion / breakdown

• The egotistical prick • The Aira hater • The deciever

- Quick author note: I’m going to be doing something slightly different, where I basically read the scenes that involved Keirr and leave a tag afterwords of pages I am going over. This will at least give you opportunity to read along with me and understand my breakdowns a little better.

- Another note: I am always using the Tumblr mobile app, so I apologize if my documents look rather funky on the computer version. I am trying to spruce them up and make them look at least somewhat good lol.

- Final note: I will be going over “Asmundr” Keirr, only a little bit though, mainly for his background. Other than that, I am focusing on “Home” Keirr. Now let’s get into it!

-

What I will be going over:

- What we know of Keirr’s history

- How he suddenly went from sweet and family oriented. Then turned into an egotistical jerk off, who stopped prioritizing family.

- A little on his personality

-

- Early History

In Keirrs early history, we know that he was born around the middle of Kiques 1st comic, Asmundr. And let me tell you, this fool has changed designs like.. 5 different times.

Ahem, anyway. Keirr is shown as the more “mature” one, compared to Rhov. In Asmundr, it is shown that he is a “decent” hunter, while him and his brother work on deer hides. He is even more reasonably suspicious than Rhov, when Jahla enters the scene and tackles Rhovanion.

When the war between Ranulfr and the Asmundr pack hit, Keirr was pretty useful and followed instructions well. Near the end of the war, you could tell he was tired of having to kill the Shield wolves, but he continued to kill. And really, that about sums up Keirrs story in Asmundr. Obviously, the first comic wasn’t about the offspring, like Home is. So I can’t really follow up with much, in “Asmundr” Keirr.

-

- Read along breakdown:

Now, we’ll be going over “Home” Keirr.

Two years had passed since “Asmundr”, so I feel the rest of this information does not qualify for Keirrs early history section.

Too begin.. Keirr and his family are dropped off on Aedra, they are not given a time limit of how long this lasts. All they know is, father will return at some point. Until then, they all make do and continue with their lives.

Keirr is still shown to be the more mature / family oriented guy. As everyone else decides to explore Aedra and see what they can find, Keirr decides to stay back with the Asmundr pack. Keirr at least retains his personality, for now, from Asmundr.( Page 8. Can also be seen on page 104. )

Then came the time when Zilas died, Keirr was the one to discover him first. Of course, he took it pretty hard considering that he grew up with Zilas and saw him as a brother. Of course, a lot of those crucial bonding moments us readers need are shown “off-screen”. It was never truly shown how close Keirr and Zilas were. ( Page 127 - 128 )

Fast forward to the time he discovered Aira, this is when things get juicy. For a while, Keirr was not Kiques priority and he did not make a real, solid appearance for a few chapters, up until page 138. This is when Kique decides Keirr needs a fucked up “Home” style arc next.

Keirr is seen carrying a torch, probably out mourning his loss I’d imagine.. Otherwise, idk why tf he is out late, or seen / helping anyone bury Zilas? This was the time when night beasts were a thing. Anyway! He is caught off guard by a voice, who comes from Aira, hiding. Keirr still retains his suspicious behavior, like in Asmundr and asks her to come closer, for the fire he is carrying. To his surprise, he is greeted with a badly wounded dog. Reasonably, he asks Aira if she was attacked by a feline, probably trying to see if she is the reason Zilas is dead. Quickly, his suspicions are cleared and he offers her help. ( Page 138 - 139 )

Suddenly, in video game reloading fashion, Keirr spawns at camp with Rhov and Jahla. Where the hell did Aira go? Anyway, I like that Keirr called out Rhov and Jahla for trying to throw blame around on anyone they could, for Zilas’s death. And then looking down at them, like a disappointed father. Thankfully, he is still retaining his personality at this point. I have to say though, it is interesting that Keirr decides to care for Aira alone and not bring her back to the Asmundr pack. Knowing his suspicious behavior, this might have been the better option for him. ( Page 140 - 141 )

We are then shown Keirr and Aira at her den. Keirr is definitely shown as more able bodied than Aira and attempts to help her up, when he realizes she can’t make it up on her own. His so far suspicious behavior remains intact, when he realizes her den has an odd amount of space for one dog; especially one of her size. He even tries to wiggle in some questions for her, but to no avail. He leaves Aira with supplies and is even kind enough to give her a knife and hide a hare nearby for her. ( Page 151 - 152 )

A few hours had passed, seemingly it looks like Aira tracked Keirr down and sat down with him. Keirr then opens up a little bit about Zilas and his family. The odd part for me is that, he is shown to be a family oriented guy, you’d imagine he’d want to mourn with his family? But I suppose he would rather want to mourn alone, for some odd reason. Kique tends to do a lot of important things “off-screen.” Anyway, instead of going back to his family, he chooses to mourn with a stranger. Which to me is slightly out of character of him. ( Page 160 - 161 )

A day or so later passes and suddenly Keirr is an expert in physical therapy. This scene from him looks promising, until he joins up with Whispervale. More on that later. Keirr helps Aira jump over a log and help regain her mobility. Then he decides it’s time to go back to his family, in the middle of such a primary moment? Aira then runs up and kisses him to stop him from leaving. Then he subtly gloats at her about how he is her “only chance of survival”, I mean what a nice thing to say lol. I feel this is when Keirr starts acting out of character, but it isn’t super noticeable yet. I’m also not quite sure why he said she couldn’t join the pack, Kainan would have saw no problem with it? Then he contradicts himself by saying he’ll continue taking care of her, but can’t leave his family to care for a stranger, all in the same breath? What? lol. ( Page 197 - 199 )

Keirr then finally discovers that the Asmundr pack is no longer there. Also, it’s kind of funny how it foreshadows the reindeer being dead in the fourth panel, but magically they’re still alive when Ronja gives them to the Deer humpers. Not only this, but it’s way too soon for the Reindeer to leave behind bones? Or why didn’t Keirr notice them while he visited the territory? Another plot hole lol. ( Page 226 )

Then Keirr suddenly decides he wants to go back to Aira, even after being a subtle dick to her. He notices that she is no longer in the vicinity and begins looking for her instead. Contradicting himself again, because he just told her he wouldn’t leave his family for a stranger. So why does he choose to go after Aira instead and not start looking for his family? Hm. ( Page 235 )

At least Keirr was nice enough to go searching for her.. But he comes across her re-possessing herself with the monster she was previously. Aira explains that she can’t survive without it. Keirr added salt to that wound by saying previously, he was her only chance of survival and then dipping out on her. Reasonably though, Keirr stops her from completing the ritual. Once he is able to pull her away from the spirit, he comforts her and makes sure to tell her that he is here for her. Boy what a damn 180 that happens in the future! Keirr then discovers Aira’s background and what she use to be, they share a tender moment together and then apologize for their previous actions. ( Probably the one and only time you’ll see that in this comic. ) Then Keirr suddenly decides she can join the pack, because it was always an option, Keirr was just being a dick. And with that, Keirr invites her to look for his family with him. Aira is able to offer some advice, as she has previously traveled the entire island in her beast form. ( Page 267 - 276 )

Here comes the total 180 of Keirr, when Aira shows him the way to Whispervale. Suddenly Keirr spouts out “We should ask them to join their pack!” Wtf?? Even Aira asks him why, just ask them if they have seen his family. Then for some reason Keirr wants to use Whispervale for their resources before continuing, but in the same breath wants to join their Tribe? None of what he just said to Aira made sense to me. Obviously Aira is uncomfortable, but Keirr doesn’t give a shit lol. Once Whispervale approaches them, Keirr asks if they can join their Tribe. Keirr then attempts to gain sympathy from Fraujar, but rightfully he gets none. Fraujar makes a statement to Keirr that the health of his tribe is everything to him, and he needs more from them than what they have shown Fraujar. Fraujar then assigns Felidae to get them acquainted with everything. Not sure what Keirr or Kique are thinking in this moment, as this is a total 180 from Keirr and his plans.( Page 311 - 314 )

Time passes for the pair and of course Aira asks Keirr when they are leaving Whispervale. Seems she’s the one that adopted Keirrs old personality, cause she’s the only one eager enough to go find them. Of course Keirr shuts her down with a bullshit excuse. “We need stability!” Not sure why he suddenly is against his own idea of searching for his family and staying with Whispervale. I mean what else did he expect trying to find them? Aira is obviously uncomfortable joining a Tribe she did not want, but again, Keirr doesn’t care. Finally their right of passage comes and Aira is the first one to participate. Aira is once again expressing she is UNCOMFORTABLE, before her trial begins. Keirr tries to reassure her, but beyond face value, Aira is stuck there because of his dumbass, unwilling at that. Of course Aira doesn’t do very well in her trial, Fraujar then says her character can be improved, but her structure is… Not up to parr. Then Keirr is all like “Oh she just needs to be trained!” Homie, did you not listen to anything Aira has said previously? She was BORN like this, she can’t just magically work out and get better. That’s not how disabilities work, idiot. ( And would you imagine it, Kique is actually an ableist and no wonder Airas character was handled like this! Go on! Read Stazz / Zirvasitys documents on her relationship with the kind hearted author! ) ( Page 326 - 331 )

Tch, anyway. Aira is obviously disappointed, she told Keirr and even expressed to Keirr that she did not want to join this tribe. I would imagine being in her shoes, she feels unheard, but tried to please Keirr anyway, only to fail. Then of course came Keirrs time and suddenly we’re shown a flashback between Keirr and his father. Of course, this was never shown in Asmundr, or Home. Suddenly Kainan and Keirr found time to actually give a shit about reindeer behavior. ANYWAY. Keirr is oddly confident in larping, how did the confident, son of Kainan, shield wolf killer end up in this situation lmfao. Of course, to nobodies surprise, Keirr nails the trial, he still loses the fight against Raun and everyone is buddy - buddy. ( Page 332 - 336 )

The next scene that follows, we have Raun shouting out at Keirr, saying he looks good and can pass as a guard if he keeps it up. Tbh, this seemed friendly at first, but watching the way Raun interacts with Keirr in the future, makes me feel like Raun is the neighborhood creep lol. Aira then comes out of the hut, her scars completely healed. Keirr is at least somewhat more supportive in this page, but future Keirr is nothing but a prick. ( Page 345 )

Fast forward to chapter 10, we finally see Keirr again, because all of chapter nine was about dumbass Rogio. Ahem. We actually see some progress from Keirr, at least keeping his word to himself. But the odd part is, he brought Raun and not Aira? First of all, Keirr hardly knows Raun and Aira understood the whole situation a lot better than Raun. Soooo.. Odd choice in bringing Raun. ( Would like to add really quick, I know Fraujar assigned Raun to follow Keirr, but why tf would Aira not come either? ) Raun is more dead weight anyway, because he’s being a giant wussy about being in that area anyway. Not even allowing Keirr to scope out the area, completely. And Keirr is just laughing about it, like cmon man, I would imagine you would want to potentially comb through the area, not cater to some giant wuss like Raun. ( Page 458 - 460 )

And to nobodies surprise, the next scene that involves Keirr is a flirty Raun. He tries to encourage Keirr to let loose and have some fun, which would have been cool if it had stayed as a friendship kind of thing. But yet again, Kique force feeds us another MxM ship. At one point, if Kique had kept up with the Rhovanion x Rogio arc that he was hinting at, at some point. All of his main male characters would have been gay. Which is obviously unrealistic, not impossible! But unrealistic. Honestly, I take Raun as a fucking creep. You hardly know anything about Keirr and yet, here he is trying to make flirty gestures and tell Keirr he’s avoiding him. As a woman, to my fellow women, any time a man points out that you’ve been avoiding him, a very creepy vibe showers over us. ( Page 478 - 479 )

Then to nobodies surprise again, Keirr is suddenly able to pin Raun, even though Raun was seen to be a lot stronger than Keirr in his trial. Aaaaand of course, Keirr reciprocates Rauns flirting by responding to him in a sexual manner, “I’m the lead sarv now.” However, in the future Keirr becomes more of an asshole at Raun from this point. ( Page 480 )

Ah now this scene just pisses me off and makes me want to throw Keirr off a cliff. Aira is seen laying around, presumably missing Keirr, I’m sure. Or, just wondering where he went. When she catches sight of him returning, she is understandably excited to see him. The one guy that helped her out with everything, in her worst times. The one guy that made her stop from becoming a beast again.. Shits on her entirely. Eyup, you heard it right. Apparently, getting people totally dependent on you and then being a giant asshole, is something Kique favors doing. Aira of course asks Keirr where he went, Keirr is suddenly acting like the biggest ass to Aira. Which tbh, he has no right doing. HE is the REASON she is there, in the first place. She has EXPRESSED to him NUMEROUS times she is uncomfortable with the tribe, but yet, he took her cries for help and rolled them up and tossed them like newspaper. What a god damn jerk Keirr is. And of course, Aira is understandably upset. Keirr basically told her to fuck off and go make her own friends. Even tho a few chapters ago, he was seen cuddling and holding her, telling her he was there for her. FUCK you Keirr. ( Page 481 - 482 )

In the next scene, Keirr then wants to play a pity party for himself, sitting in the rain, all sad looking. Like he didn’t cause this whole situation for himself. Nothing told this jackass to join Whispervale and stop searching for his family, he did it all himself! So really, why tf is he sitting there acting all depressed? Get off your ass and go look for them! Nobody told you that you couldn’t? Honestly, he’s lucky that Aira still gives a damn about him, even after he treated her like utter dog shit. Then, while Keirr is acting like a baby, Zilas makes an appearance and Keirrs dumbass thinks it’s a grand idea to talk to the ghoul. It’s kind of interesting to me how Zilas is still mostly recognizable.. You would think by now he’d peel his skin off, you know, like what Fjordor said that ghouls do. Zilas has been dead for quite a while. Aira then witnesses all of this and comes to his aid, banishing the ghoul. Keirr then suddenly gets all butt hurt about it and snarls at Aira. Okay, I get it, you’re mourning dude, but I would have figured you’d have some logic / sense to know that Zilas.. IS NOT ZILAS! Keirr even asked the ghoul what he could do, like the damn thing can talk back to him. Honestly, Aira should have just let the ghoul tear Keirr up to shreds and save us all the drama lmfao. And one last thing, when Keirr says he saw that ghoul before, but didn’t recognize it. GIRL WHERE? ( Page 515 - 517 )

Suddenly, Keirr is the master of establishing the differences in the ghouls sounds and can still hear Zilas. Also, when Aira mentions that she lived with the Meteor Tribe, really that opened up way too many questions about her that I’d like to ask. But anyway. Aira gives some speech to Keirr about how MT basically fucked around and found out with the spirits. Then a conversation falls into place about burning Zilas’s body on MT land, which ew, his body im sure would be pretty rotted away by now. But this also brings me to another question, what are the ghouls made of? Are they a manifestation of the soul? They quite obviously can’t be their former bodies, because if that were the case, they wouldn’t even find Zilas’s body, as he would have risen and been a ghoul. Another fat question for this comic and I’m not even sure if this was talked about? ( I’ll be honest with you, I forget if this part was talked about. ) ( Page 518 - 519 )

And here we go with the sexual tension between these two idiots, Keirr and Raun. Raun is a full on creep already, but really Keirr is the big asshole here. Previously, Raun asked him out, as he mentioned before the trip, to Felidae and Aira. So instead of.. Idk, not leading Raun on, what does Keirr do? Hugs him and shares a tender moment with him. Oh trust me guys, it gets fucking worse from this point. And I will continue to say that Raun is a creep, but even he doesn’t deserve to be led on. I also don’t remember Raun asking Keirr out, but I’ll just assume that was yet another important off screen moment. This is also yet another rushed, no chemistry ship crammed down our throats by Kique. ( Page 526 )

So finally we get to the part where they eventually burn Zilas’s body, Aira asks Keirr if he wants to say something and of course! Nothing. It’s almost like any time someone dies in this comic, proper funerals don’t exist. Granted, Keirr just said “I love you, brother.” But when given the opportunity before hand, he was like eh, I don’t have shit to say lmao. ( Page 528 )

Fast forward to a year, I mean 3 months later ( in Keirrs arc ). Of course, in another off screen moment, supposedly Keirr and the others returned to Whispervale and told Fraujar what happened. In my opinion, I feel like some punishment should have been bestowed upon them, or at least show Fraujar being upset with them for doing this behind his back. It would have shown more character from Fraujar and also shown Keirr getting his ass chewed out, by bringing all this unnecessary drama and bullshit into Whispervale. Keirr is also being another nosy ass, listening in on his Jarls discussion. Within the midst of this, Ferah makes her appearance. Keirr miraculously still remembers her and asks what the hell happened. I almost forgot that Keirr and Ferah met previously, because they literally didn’t say anything to each other lol. ( Page 566 - 567 )

Oh boy, here comes the cringiest scene that involves Keirr. Keirr steps away for a moment, after watching Ferah, once Felidae walks in. Ferah wakes up and of course is spooked, cause she doesn’t know wtf is going on. Somehow they both remember each others names, though I don’t remember them ever sharing their names to each other previously. Anyway, Keirr asks Ferah questions about Roamer and Ferah tells him that Ronja and Roamer are at MT. Of course, Keirr gets excited and quite frankly I’m surprised he didn’t smell them before, because Keirr was literally in their territory a few months back, but whatever! Ferah then tells Keirr they’ve both been strong and bla bla. Keirr of course tries to take off, being this annoying problem child as usual. If I were Fraujar I would be so annoyed with Keirr lmfao. Of course you can’t just take off like that, from your tribe, which YOU wanted to join. Raun stops Keirr from running off and what follows after is a recipe for fucking disaster lol. Keirr ends up kissing Raun, further leading the king of creeps on. Keirr KNOWS that Raun likes him, so apparently kissing him out of emotional excitement is a totally normal thing to do. Especially when you know that person has a CRUSH on you and yet you don’t reciprocate it! No, no, it’s totally okay to lead on someone who has feelings for you! ( Page 572 - 576 )

Damn near 100 pages later and we finally see Keirr again. Course, nothing has changed with him. Raun and Keirr are seen in a hut together, Raun is basically asking Keirr what they are, because I mean.. They touched tongues, lmfao. But that was because of Keirr throwing himself at Raun, so really I don’t blame Raun for asking. Now in Keirrs defense, I don’t know why tf Raun is grabbing Keirr like that, when asking him a question, so I mean Keirrs response is a little valid, when he yells at Raun. But the blame still lies with Keirr, because this whole time he has led Raun on, but at the same time Raun has been a giant freaking creep bag as well. They are then interrupted when Keirr walks out and runs into Fraujar, standing there, needing to talk to Keirr. ( Page 640 - 641 )

A few pages later, we see a non emotional reunion between Keirr, Ronja and Roamer. I mean god, all of their expressions are so god damn bland. Y’all haven’t seen each other in months, but let’s just 1,000 yard stare at each other, BEAUTIFUL. ( Page 645 - 646 )

Fast waaaay forwards, to more important scenes involving Keirr. After Rhov and Keirr’s reunion, we are graced with a scene where Rhov and Feaf are telling Keirr that MT might get attacked… This fucking idiot. So instead of putting this whole thing on top priority, Keirr just brushes it off and is like.. I’Ll TeLl FrAuJaR iN tHe MoRnInG. Dumbass, how do you know if they are attacking MT? Feaf literally said they might come to Whispervale? How does Keirr know they aren’t literally waiting in ambush, that very moment? HE DOESNT. So instead of putting his family top priority, like he probably should’ve, he decides to talk about his relationship status. What a great fucking family member / tribe member he is. On top of this, “figuring himself out.” I think you know where you stand, buddy. This whole scene though, Keirr was an idiot. He doesn’t even show the slightest BIT of concern for his family / MT. Let’s act depressed af, because he didn’t know where everyone was, but as soon as he finds them and they could potentially be in danger, ah, let’s wait to warn others till morning! ( Page 788 - 791 )

Finally Keirr and Whispervale show up, but yall are too damn late already. ( Page 808 )

And that about sums up my read along breakdown!

-

- Personality Breakdown

So looking over Keirrs personality traits really gives me some mixed feelings. To be honest, I can’t say that he is independent. Not anymore at least, he was the one that decided he wanted to join Whispervale, he even went against his own independent idea of searching for his family. So for me, he is neither logical, independent OR family - oriented.

A few of these other positive personality traits really haven’t been tested thru the fire, so I can’t really say what he is or isn’t. Mainly because Kique does not focus much on Keirr, like he does with the jackasses of MT and former MT members.

To put it all in perspective though, Keirr was a pretty solid character in Asmundr and in the beginning of Home. Unfortunately, he too fell victim of Kiques weird kinks / fans and became a whole contradiction to himself and his own personality traits.

-

And that is the end ladies and gentlemen! Hope you enjoy :)

- Zombiee

[purplephantomwolf]

Love in Motion

Chapter Five

Synopsis: Lydia gets a wrong number text from Lando Norris.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately.

Warnings for this chapter: None

Previous Chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four

Next Chapter: Chapter Six

Masterlist

April 22, 2022

7 pm Italy Time

Lando’s POV

     I walk back to my drivers room from the media pen. I grab my phone, hoping to see messages from Lydia. I frown when I see no messages from her. “Why are you frowning? You’re starting P3 in the sprint tomorrow!” Jon asks, walking into the room. 

     “I was expecting a message from someone by the time qualifying ended, but I’ve got no messages,” I sigh. 

     “He’s expecting a message from a girl,” Daniel says, entering the room. I sigh and roll my eyes at him extending the word girl. 

     “Yeah,” I sigh, “We’ve been talking every day, so I’m not sure why I haven’t got any messages besides her good morning message. She’s a big F1 fan, so I assumed I’d get messages about qualifying like I did last time.” 

     Jon puts a hand on my shoulder, “I’m sure she’s just busy.” 

     “Yeah, she probably is in class or something,” I nod. Daniel and Jon nod along with me. 

Lydia’s POV

3 pm Minnesota Time

     I grab my laptop, sitting down on the couch. I turn on the tv, pulling up qualifying for the Imola grand prix. My plan is to look for photography jobs while qualifying is happening. I’m having to watch a replay of qualifying because I have had class all day. I grab my phone so I can text Luke throughout watching it. 

Me: I finally am free, so now I can watch qualifying. Stupid school getting in the way of my hobby. 

     I set my phone down, not expecting a message back because it’s 10 in Italy. My phone vibrates immediately.

Luke: Oh good! I was getting worried after not hearing from you for hours. 

Me: Sorry, I had exams in my three classes today, so I wasn’t on my phone. 

Luke: All good! Let me know what you think of qualifying! 

Me: Don’t worry, you’re going to be getting all my reactions as I watch it. 

Luke: Oh good. I loved reading your comments after Australia.

Me: Good, cause I’m not going to stop. You’re the only person I know who likes F1. 

Luke: That sucks. Well, at least you have someone now. 

Me: Yeah! 

     I look up at the screen as Alex’s car catches on fire and a red flag is shown. 

Me: Holy shit! Alex’s brake is on fire! 

Luke: Yeah, that sucks when it happens. 

Me: I can’t believe you say that so casually. I would be scared as hell.

Luke: Yeah, but these guys can’t be scared of these sorts of things, otherwise they’d never get in the car. 

Me: True. 

     As I wait for the red flag to finish, I head to the McLaren job website. I’ve been checking different Formula 1 team’s job sites to see if any of them post anything about needing a photographer. I sigh when I don’t see any new postings. I switch over to the Red Bull site next. I see a new job posting and start to get hopeful. I click on it and the words “Red Bull Photographer” stare back at me. I immediately hit apply and start the application. 

     I look up at the screen when I hear the commentators say something about a yellow flag and Latifi. 

Me: Aww, Latifi spun. Williams just isn’t having a good day. 

Luke: No, they didn’t. 

     I turn back to the application, filling everything out. I submit the application with my photo portfolio just as the commentators go “And Sainz in the wall!” My head flings up to see Carlos’ car against the wall. 

Me: No!! Carlos hit the wall! Thank goodness he’s okay. I always get so worried about the drivers when they crash. 

Luke: That’s so sweet of you. It’s always worrying when drivers crash. 

Me: Yeah. I hope you’re staying dry this weekend. Looks miserable out there. 

Luke: I’m luckily in the hospitality all weekend. 

Me: That’s good. It’s bright and sunny here. 

Me: Hopefully it doesn’t rain too much during the races. 

Luke: Hopefully, that would be good. 

     I watch as the cars come out on track for Q3. I groan as Kevin Magnussen crashes and causes another red flag. 

Me: How many red flags are there going to be?

Luke: You just see Magnussen crash?

Me: Yeah, luckily it won’t be too long it looks like. 

Me: I still have 6 minutes left of Q3 but there’s 25 minutes left in the video. What happens?

Me: Ohhh! Valtteri is off! And it’s another red flag. 

Luke: Three red flags. It was an interesting qualifying. 

     I patiently wait for the red flag to lift. 15 minutes later the flag is lifted. I know I can skip until the flag is done, but I like watching everything I can on the sport. I groan when I see another red flag. I gasp and yell, “No!” It’s Lando who’s caused the red flag. 

Me: No! Lando crashed! Hopefully he’s okay! But hey! He’s starting P3 tomorrow!

Luke: He’s okay, happy to start P3 tomorrow.

Me: Oh good! He did great today. 

Luke: I should head to bed. It’s midnight here now. 

Me: Okay! Have a good night!

Luke: Good night, Lydia. 

     I turn off the tv and head into the kitchen to make some dinner. 

April 23, 2022

9 am

     I sit down on the couch as the five lights go out. “Oh no, what happened to you, Zhou?” I ask, seeing his car in the wall. “Ooohhh, contact with Pierre,” I hum, seeing Pierre limp around the track. 

Me: Poor Zhou and Pierre. 

Me: Zhou should’ve given Pierre more room, but it’s going to go down as a racing incident probably. 

Me: The fact that Carlos is fighting against Fernando, who is the driver he idolized as a child, is crazy. 

Me: Noooo, Perez passed Lando. 

Me: NO! Carlos! How could you do this to your bestie? How could you pass him?

Me: Let’s go! Lando finished P5!

     I set my phone down, standing up. I start cleaning my apartment, waiting to see if Luke responds any time soon. 

     I’ve just finished cleaning the bathroom when I hear my phone vibrate. I grab it, excited to see if it’s Luke. I frown when I see that it’s an email from an unknown sender. Curious, I click it. I almost drop my phone in shock when I see the contents. “RED BULL WANTS AN INTERVIEW WITH ME!” I shriek. I’m shocked that they want an interview and the incredibly fast response time. I immediately respond to the email, wanting to set up a time as soon as possible for an interview. As soon as I get that figured out, I start pacing my apartment. “Oh my god, this is it. This could be you fulfilling your dream, Lydia. Don’t freak out,” I mumble to myself. My phone vibrates, and I dive for it. I grin when I see a message from Luke. 

Luke: I’m sure Lando would be grateful for your support if he knew you.

Me: Hi, Luke!

Luke: Hi, Lydia. How has your day been?

Me: It’s going amazing. I have an interview on Monday for a possible photography job.

Luke: That’s amazing! Congrats!

Me: Thanks!

Luke: I’m sure you’ll do great.

Me: Thanks! How’s the weather look in Imola tomorrow? More rain?

Luke: Lots of rain.

Me: Damn, good luck to the drivers then. 

Luke: They’ve driven in all kinds of weather, I’m sure they’ll be okay. 

Me: I hope so too. 

Luke: What’s your plan for the rest of your day?

Me: I’m finishing cleaning my apartment, then doing some homework. Can’t slack off for even a day or I’ll fall behind. 

Luke: Damn, I really hope you get some free time soon. 

Me: I should, it’s almost the end of school. Just two more weeks. 

Luke: Oh, that’s good!

Me: Yep! What’s the plan for your night?

Luke: Well, just resting and preparing for the race and events tomorrow. 

Me: Okay! Have fun with that! 

Luke: I will!

Lando’s POV

     I pick up my phone, grinning when I see messages from Lydia. My disappointment from losing positions in the sprint disappears when I see she’s excited that I finished P5. I dive into a conversation with her, lounging on the bed to relax. We talk for a good hour before I feel myself start to fall asleep. I groan, wanting to spend more time talking to Lydia. I fight sleep for a couple minutes before it starts to take over. 

Me: As much as I’d love to continue talking, it’s 9:30 here now and I’m fighting sleep. 

Lydia: Okay! Good night Luke!

Me: Good night, Lydia!

April 24, 2022

Lydia’s POV

8 am

     “And in Imola, we’re racing,” Will Buxton says. I grin, as Lando takes two places right off the bat. “And Sainz has been hit!” I gasp, seeing Carlos and Daniel in the gravel. 

Me: LET’S GO LANDO! TAKING TWO PLACES OFF THE BAT!

Me: Oh no! Not Carlos and Daniel! It must be so hard to see with all that rain. 

Me: The drivers need little windshield wipers on their helmets. 

Me: It sucks that Carlos is beached. 

Me: Oh! Mick had a little trip through the grass too. 

Me: I could never be a race strategist. So many variables. 

     I bite my nails as Charles makes an attempt to pass Lando. “Charles, I swear if you take Lando out,” I say. I pout when Charles passes Lando, “Come on, Lando. You can do this.” 

Me: Aww, Mick spun again. 

Me: Stroll is worrying me going onto the wet part of the track on slicks. 

Me: I don’t want anyone to crash!

Me: No! Charles! He crashed! 

Me: Good shot of Carlos though. 

Me: BUT THAT MEANS LANDO IS P3! LET’S GOOOO!

Me: YESSS LANDO GOT P3!!!

Me: Awww, his reaction on the radio is so cute. 

     I laugh as Lando appears on the screen, his hair sticking straight up. After the podium ceremony, I shut off the tv. I grab my laptop, setting up camp on the couch to work on homework and get ready for my interview tomorrow. 

Lando’s POV

     I step out of the conference room, still stinking of champaign. “All I want right now is a shower and sleep,” Max says, coming up next to me. I nod, making a noise of agreement. We walk back to our drivers rooms together. “See you later, Lando. Congrats again on your race,” Max says, waving bye. 

     “Thanks, Max. Congrats on your win,” I say, before heading into the room. I race for my phone, grinning when I see a string of messages from Lydia. I quickly read through them before replying. 

Me: Lando is super happy with his final position. 

Lydia: As he should be! He did amazing! 

     I almost send a thank you to her, before catching myself. “She doesn’t know she’s talking to you, idiot. Don’t mess it up now,” I mumble.

Me: He did.

Lydia: Any plans to go out and celebrate?

Me: Not tonight, I’ve got an early flight to catch. Celebrations will be later this week. 

Lydia: Sounds like fun!

Me: Yeah! Now it’s time to head back to the hotel and getting some sleep. 

Lydia: Sounds like a fantastic idea. Sounds like a lot more fun than what I’m doing. 

Me: What are you doing?

Lydia: I’m studying for my final in organic chemistry. 

Me: That sounds awful.

Lydia: It truly is miserable. But I’m getting through it. 

Me: I’ll leave you to it then, I’m headed back to the hotel now and will probably fall asleep as soon as I sit down. 

Lydia: Alright! Have a good night and sleep, Luke! 

Me: Have a good day and study, Lydia. Good night. 

     I grab my stuff, heading for the hotel. As soon as I get back, I shower and fall into bed, quickly falling asleep.

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Taglist: @copper-boom @ironmaiden1313 @ophcelia

[lexleif]

rant about my life and how it’s going rn (not good and super long)

so I do have a job but since I’m an esthetician it’s commission based which means I only get paid when I have a client. since its summer it’s been dead I’ve been working here for about 3 weeks now and I could probably count how many clients I’ve had on my 1 hand😭 yeah so really bad. so that also means I’m not getting paid even when I am at work just sitting waiting for someone to book or doing promotion things. my industry is REALLY hard so I did expect it to be slow at first but not this bad! another thing is while wasting gas at my current job I have been actively looking for hourly paying jobs and I’ve had like 2 otp interviews and 1 actual in person interview. I’ve basically applied everywhere I can even jobs I don’t necessarily qualify for. all that with nothing to come of it and I do like everybody else have bills to pay like rent and such. I’ve really just been surving off my dead mom’s life insurance policy money and that’s also hard bc my family doesn’t trust me to have access to it on my own. (There’s a whole story behind this but the distrust really comes from them bc they still think of me as a child and had an issue with me using mary jane until i had to tell them my dead MOM was absolutely fine with it and knew about it!) anyway so every time I need money even just for food I have to ask one of my family members to write me a check and it’s embarrassing bc the literal checks have my OWN NAME on them and she still writes that’s it’s for me on them😭! that’s also an added stress to my life bc I already have a hard time asking for help bc most of the time it comes with some sort of judgement (about my career or anything). so I’m super stressed out now bc my family member just lmk that the funds for my mom life insurance policy are frozen and that’s scary asf! I’m grinding for clients but that doesn’t have a guarantee and it also doesn’t help that my bf lost his job a month ago as well. his car being totaled by a tree in January and his family being of no help or support for that at all😭 (mostly his dad bc he had the title to his car and couldn’t find it for months and chose to get it fucking mailed which takes forever) bc we need to try to sell it. of course my bf has been doing his best with trying to find a job that’s close bc he’ll need a bike at the least to get to and from. also our lease on our apartment that we live in (my bf moved in with me a little before my mom died). it’s just the lease is up in July and we’re both pretty much freaking the fuck out about how we’re going to make it. It’s also very hard for me to even try to explain this to my family (older millennials/boomers) about just how hard it’s been to just try to make it and have enough money for food, gas, rent, etc. so if we can’t make rent for next month we’re both pretty much fucked I’ll have to live with my grandparents and my bf will need to move back in with his dad probably but I know he hates even the thought of that bc they’ve always had a bad relationship and he’s just not a good father in general.

I just needed to rant bc I have no one else of than my bf who I can talk about this with so if anyone can relate in the slightest or just understand what I’m talking about please feel free to message me we all need support :)