#I am praying humanity can break through despite this

[aheavenofhell]

I feel like some may be deliberately ignoring the “but I don’t want to go back to Heaven” line and lemme explain why it’s important.

Aziraphale is offered this promotion to supreme archangel, right? By the Metatron himself. This is a VERY big deal, EXTREMELY serious. This is word directly from the Almighty.

And his first reaction is to refuse (something that doesn’t exactly align with the whole “Aziraphale is a manipulator” idea).

Aziraphale refuses the Metatron until the Metatron makes it explicitly clear that he can bring Crowley with him.

This is important, because Aziraphale chose to defy Heaven in S1 for Earth, for humans. While Crowley’s company may have had a part in it, really who’s to say they couldn’t just find another way to hang out when eternity started? His motivations in S1 didn’t revolve solely around Crowley.

The Aziraphale in S2, however, is ready to surrender life on Earth with just a singular condition. This is a big leap from where he was in S1, denying he and Crowley were even friends, to S2, where he is ready to admit that he needs him. That their relationship is more than a mutually beneficial arrangement or the result of having no other immortals to converse with.

So why the “rejection”?

Well, first off I think it’s a bit unfair to call it a rejection. For it to be a rejection, they would have to turn down the idea of their relationship. They didn’t, they just disagreed on the terms of that relationship.

Second, although Aziraphale has made these significant character developments, he is still Aziraphale. Naive, and under the impression that he can make things better for everyone—including Crowley. It could be just like old times, but even better. His motive here was not to fundamentally change who Crowley is, but to move them into a situation where they are safe to be together and he can feel like he has a purpose.

I don’t know if Crowley actually thinks Aziraphale wants to change him or not. I can definitely see that being a thing, but it’s not actually brought up. Instead, Crowley reminds him what Heaven is actually like—the reason he doesn’t want to be there. Not just because he can’t, but because he doesn’t want to.

The lack of compromise here ends up making sense from both sides. Aziraphale functions the way someone who grew up deeply religious and just can’t quite pry away from their faith does. Constantly ashamed, justifying the actions of an unjust God, unable to find meaning outside of what he’s been taught is the meaning. A recipe for self loathing, for always going back because it’s all you know, of course you still pray every night, long after you’ve stopped going to church. Ask a fundamentalist Christian if Abraham would’ve been justified in killing Isaac, and when they answer ask why. You will sample some of what I am talking about.

In contrast, Crowley has completely broken off from that illusion. His own moral code is more important to him than Heaven or Hells’. He has spent thousands of years trying to get Aziraphale to see through the manipulative tactics that keep him in check. He watches Aziraphale torment himself with this idea of goodness, what it is and how he has to represent it. And by the end of S2, he is still stuck in that same rut.

Neil utilized the metaphor of an abusive relationship (Nina/Lizzy, Aziraphale/Heaven) but whichever way you look at it, it’s the same. Psychological conditioning designed to break down the spirit into obedience.

And despite all this, despite the fact that Aziraphale is actively clawing his way through processing all of this trauma on his own, he still doesn’t give in to Heaven before he’s promised Crowley.

He goes back, yes. But there was no character regression. It was still development. He’s just not all the way there yet.

There would be no S3 if he was.

[sickseraph]

No because why am I scared of being made fun of for loving these men when Destiel is probably the most beautiful thing ever created.

An angel pulls a righteous man from hell and heals his wounds and is so overcome with this triumph that he screams DEAN WINCHESTER HAS BEEN SAVED so loud that he awakens fallen angels. He rebuilds this man from dust. The man is scared of Castiel, they don’t trust each other, but they need each other—the man begs the angel to see why Heaven, why God’s plan is corrupt and the angel should trust him. Against nature, breaking from the script, against God, his Father—the angel rebels. The angel rips out the part of him that serves Heaven all for this man and only because he asks. Only because now he’s starting to feel, and angels don’t feel.

What’s coming isn’t an easy task—the man considers giving himself up but the angel won’t let him, beating him unconscious while yelling I rebelled for this? And still, when the day comes, the angel dies for him. The angel attacks his own brothers for this man, is incinerated instantly, and never gave it a second thought.

After the angel is resurrected, they spend years trying to fix everything for each other and almost always do it wrong. They are eventually sent to purgatory together, and the man spends every waking moment praying to his angel. He could’ve escaped, he could’ve been angry at the angel for his misdoings, but he stayed, ripping flesh and killing anything in his way to get to the angel. But he doesn’t understand—the angel, upset, says they’re after me, Dean. I avoid you to protect you. The man won’t listen. He can’t. He pulls the angel to the exit but their hands slip right there, on the precipice. And the man is so distraught that he tells himself he’d let go by accident, but we know this isn’t true. The angel wanted to stay, wanted to feel punishment. The angel saved the righteous man and stayed behind.

But they can’t be kept apart can they?

The angel finds his way back, like always, and Dean is seeing his face everywhere. Dean blames himself. It’s easier than thinking his angel wanted to stay. It’s easier than being abandoned.

Heaven isn’t happy with this angel—this silly thing that gave up its innate purpose and programming all for a human—so they attempt to rewire him, resorting to lobotomy as a way to force him into conforming. They create infinite copies of his human and force him to kill each one, testing his loyalties. And after all this, after being turned into a mindless soldier through torture, it only takes one thing to break the connection. Dean, on his knees, saying I need you.

And this does not fix everything. Now the angel is desperate to undo his wrongs, searching for ways to repay him; so desperate that he misplaces his trust and is irreparably damaged, intimately violated by God’s Scribe. His grace, every part of his angelic traits, is stolen from him, literally ripped from his throat before the Scribe sends all angels plummeting to the Earth. And now the angel is an entirely new species—a human, soft and vulnerable, with nothing to his name—a prime target of angry, wingless angels.

There is only one thing he can do. He can call his human, beg for help, but it’s not going to come quickly. He has to decide between eating and warding himself from his murderous siblings. He virtuously refuses to steal or hurt anyone. He just wants to be safe. He trusts the wrong person and, seconds away from being saved by his human, is stabbed through the heart. Although his brother is injured, Dean caresses his angel’s face and sobs, insisting that the entity inside his brother’s body fix Cas despite how it will hurt the entity and likely put Dean’s brother at risk. It doesn’t matter. Then they go home, and the angel feels safe for the first time as a human.

But nothing lasts forever. The entity inside Sam is anxious, insecure around Cas, and so Dean asks the angel to leave. For probably the first time, Castiel feels intense sadness. Betrayal. Grief. Stress. And it’s because of his human, the one human he was attempting to make everything up to before. Well, apparently he hadn’t done well enough. The angel leaves, still desperate for cash and food, resorting to sleeping in the storeroom of a gas station to stay warm.

The angel has to protect himself from enemies, stealing angelic grace just to keep going. At the same time, Dean takes on the mark of Cain and slowly loses sanity. The angel earns a league of likeminded angels that believe in him, and it finally looks like maybe he can do things on his own again. Naturally, this can’t last for long—his allegiance to this dangerous, marked human is too risky for any angels to trust him.

And his allegiance is tested, but holds strong. Dean can tear the angel to pieces and he’ll still lay there on the floor, unwilling to harm him, and Dean will walk away knowing he could’ve killed Cas but didn’t. Couldn’t.

Over and over, they fight together or they fight each other and it never ends any different. They stick together. They get angry about how the other is acting. And they stay, because leaving just isn’t an option.

The next time the angel dies, the righteous man isn’t the same. He can’t accept it now, now that it seems real and now that the angel was so solidly good, so individualistic and pure. He burns his body and watches, red-eyed. This time it’s real. This time God isn’t on their side to bring him back. So he does what he knows—he drinks, he hides in comfort, he puts himself at risk. He starts thinking that maybe the solution to their problems is for him to die—really, hadn’t they destroyed the natural order enough?

And then the angel calls him from a payphone and all thoughts of ending his life are wiped from his mind. Dean didn’t care how he’d returned, just brought him home and indulged in a way they never did—they took a fun case, they dressed up like cowboys and caught a bad guy.

They’re not allowed fun, though. They’re doomed by the narrative—the God that is insistent upon failure. Over and over they’re tested, and no matter whose mother is killed and whose psyche is broken by being blamed for it, they stay together. Because you can hate and love at the same time. Because you don’t really hate them.

And at the end of it all, they’re still together. In the angel’s last moments, it’s still only about his human. What’s important is getting Dean safe, is coming up with a plan that saves Dean. Because even though Castiel had all his grace, Dean was the powerful one. Dean was the one who needed to kill God, who needed to stay alive, and who deserved a life.

And the angel did the only thing he knew how to do, the only thing that always worked—he sacrificed himself for his human. He told his human that he was in love with him, and told him the things he needed to hear, and let himself be swallowed up by eternity. All for Dean. For Dean, who was still beautiful.

And this did save the world, but Dean wasn’t the same, really. He vowed to give himself a good life, try to move forward, but it really wasn’t going to happen was it? It was always going to end in his brother’s arms after a hunt. And he was okay with it. And when he got to Heaven, sitting beside his true father with a beer in hand, he heard Cas’s name and smiled. It had been ages since he smiled.

[bootlegpancake]

Grand Dad

Geppetto learns he has a grandson.

Genre: Horror, Romance, Family, Drama

Lies of P with Ai: Somnium elements. To learn more about Kanra, read this. He is an AI ball.

Spoilers for Lies of P.

"What's going on here?" he heard her mumble, "How did we get here?"

From previous psync sessions they had, Gloria recognized the city they were currently in. Somehow, some way, Pino got transported back to his timeline but for some reason Gloria was there - and so was their few months old son, fussing in her arms. Currently, they were hiding in one of the abandoned buildings; P was shielding his family with his body, as they were stuck close to the entrance. The raven gently opened the door so he could take a peek outside.

"I don't know." he quickly scanned the area as much as he could, "We are close to the hotel." he glanced down at his Legion Arm. Again, an unexplainable change, it seemed like he was once again reverted to being a puppet with a human soul. He quickly glanced back at his family and saw his beloved's terrified face. Despite working for the police for years now, this horror was something that has shaken her to her core. He understood her fear - their whole family was in danger. He needed to get them to the hotel as fast as he could. He just prayed that his son won't start crying while they are on the move. He turned to her and gently grabbed her shoulders,

"Honey, listen." he said in a whisper and despite his calm exterior, his mechanical heart was beating insanely fast, "We must get to the hotel as soon as we can. I can't protect you without my weapons, so we have to be quiet and fast."

If Kanra was here, he would have made this into a dirty joke, but alas, the AI partner of Gloria was not with them.

Gloria's eyes were filled with tears and terror but she nodded and held their baby closer, who whimpered in response. He couldn't bear seeing her like that so he quickly gathered them in his arms. She nuzzled her face into his neck and he held her tight,

"I love you both so much. We'll find a way back home." He whispered his promise into her hair and she nodded. As he released her, she sniffed and noted,

"You.. you feel a bit stiff. Are you...?"

He gave her a sad smile and a nod, "I am afraid so." He showed her his Legion Arm, making her gasp, "But we can talk about this later. We need to move, now."

He ushered her behind him and they made a break for the hotel as quietly as possible. Their hastened footsteps echoed throughout the deserted city. Despite the solitude they had, they all felt the cold dread, as each dark corner they passed through had the chance of a deadly monster lying in wait to claim their lives. P felt each and every heartbeat of his beat in his ears. Which was strange, considering he was reverted back to being a puppet again.

Despite his artificial body, P felt a soul gripping fear throughout their run. His normal hand held his partner's hand tightly as he navigated them throughout the ruins of the city.

Sometimes he heard his son whimper, but they couldn't stop to calm him, so with a heavy heart, they just ran forward. To their luck, no one heard them as they powered through the streets.

As the hotel came into view, P got excited and hurried his steps. Not long now. As they were running up the steps, P quickly noted that they had not run into any trouble. In fact, the whole city looked deserted. When he was still there, puppets and monsters were crawling everywhere.

As they arrived at the entrance, P prepared to answer the question the hotel's alarm system was supposed to ask, but there was no prompt.

Odd, he thought.

"What's the matter?" Gloria was still catching her breath, and bounced their son a little in her arms, as he grew fussy.

"We were supposed to get a question here." P replied with a confused blink. He then tried to open the door with both of his hands and oddly enough, the door opened without any resistance. What was going on...? Was Krat no longer dangerous? What happened while he was gone? Why was Krat still in shambles? 

They walked into the hotel, which looked just the same as when P first entered it - beautiful and elegant, but the only difference was that there was no one to greet him this time. This silence and solitude unnerved him and once again ushered Gloria behind him.

"This is wrong," he whispered "there are supposed to be people here."

"I remember this place from your memories." she whispered back and held their baby tighter to her, "Polendina is supposed to be manning the reception desk, right?"

"Yeah." he whispered back, and advanced to the center of the room to interact with the huge stargazer, "I wonder if I can-"

"Who goes there?" a familiar voice rang in the air and P felt a chill run down his spine. No way...

And sure enough, his old man was descending down the stairs from the left. He looked just like he remembered, from his clothes down to the a scowl on his face; however, upon gazing at his creation, his expression changed to pure shock and uttered in disbelief, "Son...? Is that you?"

In that instant, P felt a surge of excitement and he couldn't stop a smile forming on his lips, "Father!" he exclaimed and wasted no time running up to him.

"Son!" his father exclaimed, and before P could envelop his arms around him, his father held him by the shoulders instead and questioned him, "Where have you been, son? I have been worried sick! I thought I'd never see you again!" his voice cracked as he spoke and he gripped him harder. Since he was held at arm's length, all P could do was grab his fathers arms in comfort,

"I don't know, father." P replied, his voice shaking, "I just, I think I got into an accident, I don't remember, I woke up somewhere else. In a different world."

"In a different world?" he echoed in disbelief to which P nodded,

"Yes. I tried getting back here, but I couldn't find a way back for two years."

His old man let out a thoughtful hum, "You have changed, son." he now looked him up and down and furrowed his eyebrows at his jeans and plain black shirt, "You seem more... mature." he let go of his son and inspected his hair, which was longer than before, but did not reach his shoulders yet.

P gave him a small smile, "I want you to meet someone." 

P stepped away from his father and turned to Gloria, who was already walking up to them very slowly, with a small frown on her face. P immediately knew his partner did not trust Geppetto. That was her "I don't buy your bullshit" expression, and sometimes she used it on him whenever he -badly- tried to lie to her. P extended his normal arm towards her and she took it, as he lead her up next to himself.

"Father, I would like you to meet my partner, Gloria." P said with a huge smile on his face, but he was jarred when he saw his father's disapproving look for a millisecond, which he quickly hid with his fake business smile. The old man then took Gloria's hand and shook it.

"Pleasure to meet you, miss Gloria. I am Geppetto. Thank you, for taking care of my son." he then glanced at the baby in her other arm, who chose that moment to turn around and look at the old man with his big, blue eyes, "Your husband must be worried sick about yours and your child's disappearance. We will do everything we can to send you back."

"The pleasure is all mine." Gloria said in a flat tone and P internally cringed. Even he could tell she was lying, "But I have no husband so he is not worried about me."

"My apologies." Geppetto said in an undecipherable tone, "That child made me assume it is yours and that you are married."

"Father." P chose to speak up, because he knew Gloria's no-bullshit attitude would not bode well with his father's bullshit attitude, "Gloria is my partner. We are not married, but we live together and-" he carefully took the baby out of her arm and he saw her relief - she was holding him for over an hour and her arms were aching from the constant weight - and held him out to Geppetto, "This is our son, Carlos." He beamed with pride and hoped his father would soften a little bit, "Your grandson!"

But yet again, P saw his father's expression darken as he looked at baby Carlos. The little boy was whimpering and fussing about, he was clearly upset about something. Seeing this, P brought the baby back to himself and began rocking him. His father spoke up,

"This... this child is yours?"

Carlos' little whimpers were getting heavier and P knew from experience that his boy was getting close to breaking into a cry, so he put him against his shoulder and patted his back to hush him. He turned his attention back to his father, and furrowed his eyebrows. He was not expecting this reaction, "Yes, I am his father."

"That's impossible." Geppetto's demeanour got a lot colder, and the way he eyed Carlos made P feel increasingly protective over his own child, "You are a puppet, you don't have the necessary organs to... create a life."

"He did, back in my world." Gloria spoke up, making Geppetto turn his attention to her. "He was fully human in my world. It complicated things, since Ergo is nonexistent in my world, so when they found Ergo in me, we also found out we had Carlos on the way." 

That seemed to have struck a cord with Geppetto, "You have Ergo in you now?"

"Not anymore." She replied quietly and watched as her partner failed to calm Carlos, who began a full blown cry. She motioned for P to give him to her, "I will try to feed him."

"Alright," he moved to give Carlos back to Gloria but the baby begun wailing even more and clutched onto his father's shirt, refusing to let go. Perplexed, they both stood awkwardly, not sure what to do. Usually Carlos was not this clingy to either of them. Glancing at his father, P saw the old man was getting annoyed at the sounds the baby was making. Which jarred P, since Geppetto had a son way before he was created, so this shouldn't be anything new for him.

"I uh, I think it is better if we go to a separate room to calm him down." P said awkwardly and was about to walk away, when Geppetto held him by the shoulder,

"Son, wait. I need to talk to you in private." his stern look melted away and his eyes softened, "I missed you, son. I have so much to talk to you about and then I would love to hold my grandson after he calms down." 

"His son needs him." Gloria said coldly and put a hand on Carlos' back, who was still crying, "He clearly doesn't want to be away from his father. Give us a few minutes at least." She looked Geppetto in the eye and refused to back down. The old man chuckled and let his hand slip from his son's shoulder.

"You sure picked a strong lady, son."

P chuckled, "Indeed, I did."

The young parents walked away from the old man, and headed towards the library where they could comfortably sit down on the couch and calm their son. 

"He has never cried this much before." P murmured as he rocked the baby, who was finally starting to have pauses in his cries, "I wonder what's wrong?"

Gloria was leaning against him, exhausted after the earlier ordeals and carrying his son around. She mumbled her reply, "Babies are extremely sensitive. He feels my discomfort and your father's..." she was trying to search for a nice word, "lack of sincerity."

"Just say what's on your mind, please."

"Your father's bullshit." she whispered and glanced around to make sure no one heard her, "I have never seen someone so dishonest about seeing their long lost son. And the lack of enthusiasm for a grandson." she crossed her arms and was pleased to find that Carlos' cries were now much quieter, "Something's not right with him."

"He's just lonely. He went through a lot." Carlos now calmed down and silently looked between his parents.

"I know lonely." she stroked Carlos' cheek and wiped away his remaining tears with her thumb, "He is angry and disappointed. And he certainly doesn't approve of you starting a family without him."

P looked at her in disbelief, "You only met him for a minute and already assume this much?"

"Body language and actions speak truer than any words, honey." she said sadly and nuzzled her face into his neck, successfully muffling her next words, "Hwe'fs a dwick"

The raven raised an eyebrow with an amused smirk, "You're not mincing your words today."

She leaned away from him to look into his eyes, "Not when I'm protecting my family, no."

He sighed, "Look, he is my father, he will come around." Gloria quirked an eyebrow, "Also, this hotel is the safest place we can be right now. Can you try and get along with him, please?"

"I can't pretend I like him when I don't."

"Gloria, please."

"And what will happen next?" she put her arms around herself, "If we find a way back home, will you leave him here, or would you bring him with us?"

P blinked. He didn't think about this, but now that he did, there was only one answer, "We'll take him with us, of course."

"Of course?"

"Where else would he live?" P looked a tad bit irritated, "He is my father, I will not abandon him."

"Honey." she began sadly, "I don't think... he wants to leave. He also doesn't want YOU to leave. Just Carlos and me."

P opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly his father's voice came from the Stargazer nearby, "Son, may I have a word with you in my office?"

The puppet looked at his partner sadly, "Looks like I have to go." he then handed Carlos over to Gloria, "I think he heard the peace and quiet and decided he waited enough. We'll continue this discussion later."

They both stood up and Gloria brought a hand up to his cheek, "Honey, please be careful and come back to us."

He chuckled and cradled his hand around hers, "I'm just going to talk to him. I will be back soon." He gave her a small kiss on the lips and on his son's forehead, "You two are my world." he whispered against her lips and kissed her again. She smiled against his lips,

"Where's this kind of enthusiasm when you are on diaper duty?"

P snorted out a laugh and pulled away, "You know how to ruin the mood, honey."

"I'm improving it." she smiled, "Now go and talk to your daddy."

"Please, don't call him that." he smiled and walked away nonetheless to talk with the old man. Again, as he walked through the hotel, the silence and lack of staff unnerved him. Where was Venigni? Eugéne? Polendina? He turned ontop of the stairway to the left and walked across the familiar corridor. He glanced at the column, that usually had a pile of luggages next to it, where the hotel's cat sometimes observed her territory. Come to think of it, where was Spring?

He looked around and the silence grew suffocating. His head felt a little bit off as well. 

As he opened the door to his father's study, a strong smell struck his nose - again, this was odd, since he had his artificial body again- and he recoiled on the threshold. The smell was strong and unpleasant. His mind prickled. This smell was very familiar. What-

"Ah, son, there you are." His father stood up from his chair with a warm smile, "I take it, my grandson has calmed down?"

"Yes." P replied and mirrored his smile, "This situation upsets him."

"Understandable. Little children are very perceptive." he said fondly and walked up to him, with open arms, "I am so glad you are here, safe and sound, son." the old man embraced him and P was eager to reciprocate.

"You have always been a good boy to me." he felt the old man pat his back, then gently pried himself from his embrace, but slid his hands on his shoulders, "And look at you. You get away from your old man for a little while, and manage to start your own family, by yourself."

P couldn't bear to look at him, as he felt a little anger radiating off from him and nodded.

"I'm not angry at you, son." he chided gently, "I am just surprised." he chuckled, "You disappear for two years, and when you return, I learn that I'm a grandfather. Try to think of it from my perspective."

"I'm sorry." was all P could muster. He felt a bit of shame, but what could he have done? He was stuck in that world. A world where he found family, friends and happiness. Not constant yearning for more love and attention.

"Like I said, I am not mad." he put a hand ontop of his head which made him look at his old man. His smile seemed sincere, "Tell me about my grandson. I already know he has strong pair of lungs."

"He is only six months old." P said fondly, "He was a big surprise, I thought Ergo wouldn't let me have children."

"That is a new concept to me, as well." his father straightened up and put a hand to his chin, "So you say you were a human in that world?" He received a nod, "And now you feel like you are a puppet again?"

P seemed hesitant. That smell once again hit his nostrils which made him flinch a little, "Well, I can smell something." he said, and raised his mechanical arm, "and my Legion Arm is back, so I'm not sure."

"Smell something?" his father echoed and P could see this troubled the old man.

"Yes, something weird." P looked around. His father scratched his head awkwardly,

"It might be some rot. I... didn't do much maintenance work on the hotel."

"I see." P nodded but he still wondered, because this stench he smelled was not of rot. "Why is the hotel and town deserted?"

His father's eyes had a sad glint in them, "After your disappearance, the monsters vanished, and the puppets just... ceased to function. All the survivors have escaped Krat. I remained behind." he turned away from him and took a few steps towards his desk, "I thought my grave should be shared with my son." he sighed and turned back to him, "But now that you are back, with a family no less," his smile was warm, "we can start over and I can do what's right."

P felt a sting in his eyes as he quietly replied, "I would like that very much."

The old man chuckled and motioned for him to sit in the old chair he used to receive upgrades in, "I am glad you agree, son. Will you let me do a health check on you? You could tell me more about my grandson."

The moment his father asked him to do that, alarm bells rung in his mind. To not trust him, that his partner was right, and something was obviously wrong. Something prickled at the back of his mind, something urgent, and he felt like he was forgetting something. Alas, he was happy his father was paying attention to him and his family. He nodded and obediently sat down in the chair, the sensation familiar and oddly discomforting. His father immediately began inspecting him, but that didn't stop him from asking questions,

"Your lovely lady friend has mentioned earlier, that she had Ergo in her. What did she mean by that?"

P felt something click in his chest, which was rather painful but he endured. He couldn't see what his father was doing, but he felt like he was just inspecting, as he said he would, "She meant that while she was pregnant, she had Ergo in her blood."

The raven felt something being shut inside him, then more tinkering, "And what about your boy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Does your boy have Ergo in him?"

"Yes." he replied quietly, "A moderate amount, and it's harmless."

P heard an acknowledging hum, "Fascinating. So your boy is a wonder of two worlds. A human, born with Ergo. More stable than Listeners and more human than puppets would ever be." Geppetto said in hushed awe, "He is truly one of a kind."

"My son," P began quietly, "Is just human, nothing more. Ergo or not." He didn't like his father's voice when he spoke about Carlos being a fascinating creature. He fidgeted in his seat, "Thank you for the inspection, I'd like to leave now."

His old man glanced at him, then looked back to what he was doing, "Yes of course, there is just one more thing I have to close and I am done." he chuckled, "Seems like you have become something akin to a human in a puppet body."

"Indeed." P replied. He wanted nothing more than to leave this chair and get back to his family. And god, that stench-

That... stench. He smelled it when he fought-

Before he could finish his thought, he heard a loud click, then he felt his whole body go numb, and slump forward in the chair. He wanted to frantically look around, but none of his muscles were responding to his commands.

"Did you really think I was going to let you go again?" his father's voice was quiet and cold, and P felt his skin crawl. He wanted to shiver, but his body wouldn't move an inch. He couldn't see his father, his head was lolled forward when he lost all control of his body. "You finally came back, my most precious creation." He felt Geppetto's hand on his head "But how do you return? With a filthy wench clinging onto you."

That made P's blood boil and he wanted nothing more than to get up and teach his father to respect his beloved, but all he could do was listen, while he agonized internally. He felt the old man closing the maintenance hatch on him.

"I created you, so you could bring my son back." the old man now knelt down, so he could eye his artificial son, hand now on the side of his face, and the young puppet's eyes shone with unbridled anger, "But you break free instead and create a spawn."

P saw red and he wanted to hurt his father for calling his precious son a spawn. How dare he?! He tried to move any muscle he could, but his body didn't move. His family was in danger, and he couldn't lift a finger to protect them. A mirthless chuckle left the old man's lips, "Still functional, I see. Since you are not entirely a puppet, you will not switch off instantly. You still have some time left."

The old man rose from the floor and headed somewhere P couldn't see, "But luckily, your spawn has one very important quality." He heard shifting, and a lock opening, "He has Ergo in him. And being born from you, my greatest creation, means his heart is better than that P-Organ you have." P felt his entire being go cold at that, and the silence surrounding them got deafeningly loud. Every shifting his father did sounded ten times louder in his ears. He heard a metallic clank sound that felt eerily familiar and the stench grew unbearably strong.

"I will just have to wait until he gets to Carlo's age and then I can take his heart instead."

Metallic footsteps followed as Geppetto's voice grew louder, "Which means, he cannot be with his mother either."

P wanted to scream. To break free and escape from this nightmare. He desperately tried to kick his body back in action, but he just lay there limp, paralyzed and could only see the carpeted floor in front of him. The stench now made his stomach churn and if he could control his body, he would be vomiting.

"Oh? Looks like your brother is curious." Geppetto's voice changed to a commanding one, "Don't hurt him, we might need him later."

P felt a metallic hand grab his hair and yank his head up, so he could see the source of the ungodly horrifying stench that was tormenting him. P was now facing a moving corpse, which had no mouth, no eyes and yet, the puppet could feel this undead creature was beholding him with curiosity. The body was sickly palish blue, and he looked like he got sewn together from different bodies. He was- He-

P felt his mind prickle again. He saw this monster before, but where? By the gods, the stench-

"Kill the woman, but don't hurt the infant." Geppetto instructed, and P felt the monster let go of his hair, making his head fall back against his chest with a sickening thud, "After that, bring the spwan to me."

NO! P wailed in his mind and continued to thrash against the invisible barriers against his body. Please, don't! he screamed in his mind, Don't kill her, please! but unfortunately, the nameless puppet couldn't hear him and he heard the heavy metallic footsteps get distant. Moments later, he heard her scream and the sickening sound of flesh meeting metal, all the while his son's cries started up again, louder than before.

No... he thought again, and he felt weak. His family, destroyed by his own father and his-

A loud guttural sound cut through the atmosphere. Everything went silent after that. What in the...?

He heard it again, but this time, it was a bit muffled. He then felt himself slip sideways, any all the colors and everything just faded away and he was left in darkness.

...What in the world..?

He felt himself in lying position, and surrounded by softness. His eyes shot open, and was met with an unfamiliar room and a pressure behind him.

"Oh, shoot, sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

Wake him? He blinked and slowly his brain caught up with him - he was no longer at the hotel, he was at home, probably in the dead of night since it was dark, and his heart was beating a million miles an hour. He groggily moved his arms and looked behind him, and saw Gloria - all healthy and not dead, in her white nightgown - sitting up on the bed and her hands were at her lips.

"Hngwha?" was all he could muster, as he still was in stupor. 

"My stomach was burning, and I couldn't go back to sleep, I needed to sit up and burp and it was a big one and I am so, so, so sorry." she squeaked sheepishly and hid her face in her hands.

"Did..." his brain was still processing this, "Did you just burp me awake?"

"Yes." she squeaked.

"I love you." was all he said and basically pounced on her and gathered her in his arms, squeezing her tightly, and kissing her wherever he could reach - her hair, her forehead, her cheek, her nose, her lips and then crushed her against him.

"Dwiffd fwou haff a naiiffmff?" she asked against his chest and managed to embrace his torso, albeit she hit his elbow first. Despite her nearly undecipherable question, he understood she was asking wether or not he had a nightmare.

He squeezed her tighter, "Mhm."

"Mm-mm!" she frantically tapped against his back and Pino eased up on the embrace just enough so she could come up for air. She inhaled deeply before she continued, "Would you like to talk about it?"

"No. At least, not now."

"Alright." she brought a hand up to his cheek and he melted against her touch, "We're here, you're okay. We're safe." She then put her other hand on his other cheek, "And we love you so much." she whispered and kissed him gently on the lips. He closed his eyes as he exhaled. They are safe. He is safe. She is here, she is not dead, she is very much alive.

He slid his hand on her shoulders and pushed her back on the bed, his body following hers and immediately covering hers with his own and started giving open-mouthed kisses to her neck, making her moan and gasp in surprise,

"Wha- Whassgotten into y-" he immediately covered her lips with his own and all she could do was melt.

"I need you, now." he whispered against her lips and held her face. Unbeknownst to him, his eyes were filled with unshed tears, "I need to know you're alive. I don't want to lose you, ever again." he whimpered and this time, Gloria launched herself against him and kissed him fiercely, ignoring the way her back her from the awkward position,

"I will always be by your side." she promised against his lips, heart beating at a rapid speed.

"As will I, by yours." he promised as well, in a hushed whisper.

The two lovers shared a very passionate night.

Much to Kanra's dismay, who was only put in sleep mode on the bedside table, so he heard every single noise the couple made that night, and all the AI ball could do was count the minutes until the couple was done.

He counted 98 minutes, 35 seconds and 0.00034 milliseconds until the couple finally went back to sleep. 

[cookies-and-mirrors]

Prison of Stone and Flesh

Chapter Twelve

This is a collaborative fic between @cookiesupplier and @faceless-mirror.

Dividers by @samspenandsword & @cafekitsune

Authors Note: Smut warning if you pass the tape! Enjoy!

Pairings: Multi-Pairings, Everybody x Everybody.

Triggerlist: transphobia, homophobia, abuse, SA, dubcon, religious trauma, past suicide attempts, mental health issues, grief, death, (To be added to)

Christopher, Justin, and Ryan are members of the Gargoyle Order, soldiers fighting in the angels war against the demonic supernatural evils of the world to protect human kind. Through the years they lost comrades and now just the three of them remain in their little town.

Now, Ricky and Vinny are moving into their church, stirring up old and new feelings, along with the past, posing the challenge of navigating this new chapter in their lives.

Can they all navigate this path successfully and break free of the prisons that is their lives of both stone and flesh, or will they all be trapped forever in a world that could prove to be a constant misery?

MASTERLIST HERE

Taglist: @miamore0570 @21-century-tae @dragon-chica @shilohrosechicken @phxntxsmicgoricxl

@missduffsblog @witchyweeb34 @spicywhenspeaking @lacktoesandtoddlerants @blackveilomens

@bngurngheart @dominuslunae @collapsedglasshouses @emmmm127 @sunsshinesunny

@latenightmusiclover @dontdiganothergravetoday

(please comment/like/reblog/message to be added to taglist)

Chapter Twelve

Christopher allowed Vinny to lead him up the staircase towards the residence that she lived in along with Ricky, despite the fact that he was well aware of where it was. More than aware, in fact, considering he likely knew more about this Church than even the workers that had half torn it apart to renovate it. This building held secrets beyond centuries old that might never see the light of day again, and others, possibly, only the Almighty himself knew. 

Vinny smiled up at him, “Mind if I take your jacket and hang it up so you're more comfy?” She offered with a sweet smile, kicking off her heels, shrinking down a few inches. She let down her hair as she approached him.

Reminding himself they were just here for a quiet moment, it was just a jacket, it meant nothing. Then again, Christopher was also distracted by, well, everything around him at the moment. This was Vinny’s home, this was her life, her space, this place was a part of everything she was, and he wanted to know everything about it. The gargoyle desired to learn every little detail of her life, how could he not when he woke up wondering if she was indeed safe and her day had gone well? He knew it went against his duties to be focused on one lone mortal, but Ch- Vinny, was, precious. 

So when she offered to take his jacket, he nodded absentminded, “Of course.” Shrugging his shoulders a little allowing her to reach for his jacket to take it from him, that it until she had it half from his arms, and he remembered… His eyes went wide, the weapons he’s hidden into the lining of the jacket in makeshift pockets. Quickly, as smoothly as he could muster, he pulled the jacket from her grasp and back up to his shoulders, praying to the angels above she hadn’t felt anything in the material. Stammering quickly, trying to cover his movement. “Ah, no, no, it is fine, I am, well, comfy, just like this.”

She frowned, it was a bit heavier than she remembered. “Um… if you're sure.” She said softly, gently guiding him towards the sofa to sit with him, forehead pressed to his shoulder with her legs over his.

She had just started to relax when she felt a handle in her ribs and looked down at the shape and back up at him, “is there a reason you have a knife on you…?” She asked softly, not at all accusatory.

Oh, oh he’d nodded quickly at the first question, he was, absolutely, extremely sure. Christopher, was beyond comfortable. In fact, taking off that coat, while he knew he wouldn’t be giving up all the weapons he had on his person tonight, he didn’t feel comfortable relinquishing any, not even one. Not when it meant risking her. Sitting down now however, he sighed, at least, she let it go, and his arms were around her, holding her.. 

Then the next question came, and he stilled, his eyes glancing across the room, trying to formulate some kind of answer that would make a kind of sense that she might accept. What, what could he tell her?

Sighing, the truth. At least, some of the truth. Looking towards her, his eyes meeting Vinny’s, “To protect you.”

She blinked a few times, “Oh! Like… in case something happened downstairs?” She asked softly, moving closer to lay her head on his shoulder, gazing up at him with that smile on her lips, one of mischief and knowing.

Swallowing, when she looked at him like that, he swore she knew, she knew something he didn’t, and yet, this, this she couldn’t possibly know. “I can’t let anything happened to you down there, of all places Vinny… I could never let anything.. let anything happen to you here if I could help it.” He felt a sting of tears in his eyes he didn’t deserve, but he couldn’t let them fall. Lifting a hand to her cheek to brush the back of his fingers along her skin.. “My lover, I told you she died, but, she died because of me. She was attacked to get to me. They killed her, and our unborn children, to get to me… and I was too late to save them.”

For the first time in two centuries, he admitted to someone, anyone, least of all himself, that those children she had been carrying, had been his. 

Vinny moved slowly to sit in his lap and pet his cheeks. “I'm so sorry for your loss…I can only imagine… and I can tell you cherished her so much… she must have been something else.” She whispered softly, kissing his cheeks. She wasn't going to push much more than this. “But… I hope you know she wouldn't want you to be miserable and live in the past. Everything is safe right now. I even locked the door… we would hear if someone tried to get in.”

By the angels, she didn’t know, she didn’t, he wanted to tell her, but he never wanted to scare her. Maybe he should. Maybe, he should tell her the truth, that being anywhere near him was asking for her life to be in danger, asking for her life to have a target on it. Chenza had been killed because of him, his children had been killed because of him. They’d been murdered, in this very building, and no matter of locked doors could change that. Not even angel wards had stopped the werewolves and humans that had broken through and fought past their handler and slaughtered his mate and children. This very building, their home, where they lived… where he still lived, and he spent every day.

Two centuries he’d not been able to stand the thought of changing a thing, because the thought of changing anything would be admitting he couldn’t turn around, and she wouldn’t be there anymore.. And then Ricky just came in and turned his life on it’s head before bringing in this mortal that felt like both a blessing and a curse. She was the purest soul, and was Chenza all over. “Vinny..” The whisper fell from Christopher’s lips as his forehead pressed to hers, his arms wrapped around her, holding her so close to him with how she sat on his lap. “Please help me.”

She smiled sadly before reaching out to him and pet his face softly, soft loving touches… and she moved slowly before lips met his, kissing him properly and slowly, before sitting back. “How can I best help you?”

There was a strangled sound in his throat when her lips met his, it was a different feeling from the way her lips had brushed over his cheeks. Still, when she asked how she couldn’t help him, his eyes, wide, bright gold brown, met those gorgeous brilliant green that reminded him so much of Chenza, and he knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it. His arms around her, pulling her so close, he brought his lips to hers and kissing her like he couldn’t breathe, as if she were his very soul. Right then, she felt like it.

She wrapped around him pressing close to him as she could, gasping softly against his lips, starving for more as her hands glided over his arms and skin softly, pushing the coat away,  feeling him as they kissed.

As the coat slipped from his shoulders, the daggers inside the lining making it heavier, there would be no issue with it staying right there on the couch. Not that Vinny realized that it was not the only garment on Christopher that had additions made to it, but that didn’t matter right that second either. Not as his hands were sliding down her back to her hips and over the cut-outs at the sides of her dress, his fingers dancing over her skin.. 

She rolled her body into his touch steadily, jaw dropping some as she moaned sweetly. “Chris-” she whispered to him, fingers gripping at his skin gently as she looked up at him, already breathless from the kiss. “Chris- can you… help me out of my dress…?” She asked softly, knowing she was being reckless, but for once she knew this was something her whole being craved. “Please…”

She blushed and stood with her back to him, “There's a little zipper in the middle, just pull down on it gently.” she instructed, blushing darkly having seen the look in his eyes. She would have been lying if she did not admit she loved it and hadn't been daydreaming the whole day about him.

Glancing down to her dress, his fingers stroking a little at the bare exposed parts of her skin. He wouldn’t even know where to begin in taking the garment off of her body, and the thought of getting it off of her in the first place.. Had him groaning softly as his eyes darkened. “We should, we should go into your room, BabyGirl.”

Without another thought, he was picking her up into his arms, and carrying her into her room, he really shouldn’t know where it was, but he knew.. He knew from the window. Rick’s was on the other side of the apartment, obviously, and Vinny, oh, he’d seen more than enough of inside of her room. Christopher carried her into her room before closing her door behind her. Breathless, not from having carried her, but the thought of, everything else.. Setting her down on her bed, standing at the edge.. “How do I get the dress off?”

She looked over her shoulder up at him, shivering. “Please.”

As Christopher searched for the zipper, finding it, it was a delicate looking metal thing, and he recognized it immediately as a long version of one of the fastenings that were on the borrowed modern pants Ryan and Justin wore. He didn’t, because they looked so complicated, he preferred the buttons, those looked like he could actually manage them. Just pull down on it gently, mentally swearing, being trapped in the bastard suit of armour that Chenza had found so darn amusing, this was, something else. He didn’t want to ruin it for her, she seemed to love it, and seeing her wear it, oh, he wanted to see her in it again… His hands slid up her sides slowly to the top, one hand, gently pressing the material to steady it, carefully, and trying not to wince, as he grabbed the silver fastening and ever, so very slightly, pulled down. Mortal strength time.

It came down with such ease. And stopped just below her hips, the fabric falling away from her sides and shoulders gracefully as she let the fabric fall and pool at her feet in a small pond of red around her. She looked up at him, blushing darkly as soon as black lace panties were revealed underneath, and she offered him a soft, demure smile. “Not too difficult.” she whispered for him.

Not too difficult she says, Christopher felt like he was having palpitations trying not to accidentally tear her poor dress to shreds and no, no, it wasn’t difficult at all. By the angels. She was lucky that- oh, oh- She was in nothing but black lace panties now, and Christopher couldn’t help but groan softly as he swallowed. His hands in front of him started on the buttons of the vest of his suit, never mind there were more daggers in the vest, and a light waist bandolier that he’d hidden with an illusion rune. 

She smiled and leaned up, pressing her lips to his and her hands moved to help him strip, smiling against his lips when she found more daggers. “Not gonna lie…” she whispered, “I love that you’re so protective… It’s really hot.” she confessed, her lips pressed to his neck as she let the vest fall off before her nimble fingers were working on the button-up shirt.

She found a couple from the vest, one from the bandolier where the handle had peaked out from the leather band before he could slip it off safely and put it to the side. When she only giggled, and smiled like that, pressing a kiss to his lips, he was looking at her in awe, absolutely in wonder. When she started on his shirt, he was kissing down the side of her neck, all of his weapons gone, none that he could remember anyway, at least, none that could be removed from his skin. Shrugging the material from his shoulders, he let the shirt fall to the floor as he nipped at her collarbone lightly.

Her breath was shaky and needy as she moaned in his ear, her hands touching as much of him as they could, rubbing over his shoulders slowly and her short nails scraping his back lightly. She whispered warmly in his ear as her legs brushed up against his clothed ones, her dick chubbing up some and stretching the fabric of her panties some. Her fingers finally ghosted towards his pants with a shiver. “Chris-”

His hands moved to her waist, gently pushing her back to the bed, and down, even as he felt her at his pants, gasping slightly as he looked down at her, “Patience, BabyGirl.” Looking over her. He reached for the front of his pants, fingers clicking open the belt that had come with the suit, straps he could so quite easily. Leather he knew well. 

She sat down, looking up at him with big eyes before licking her lips, thinking about how he would feel in her mouth… how he would taste. Vinny was fully hard now and whimpering at the dirty thoughts racing through her mind one after another. How could she not? She was right at his waist, and she arched some, squirming in place as she moaned softly. “Please… can I… I want…” she didn’t know how to say it without sounding desperate. She didn’t want him to think all she was after was his dick… She loved this man before her. He was sweet, kind, gentle, and understanding. All the while, hurt, damaged and grieving, yes… but he was so kind and sweet to her… how could she not fall in love with him, even just as a friend. 

She hadn’t expected the electricity and connection that she felt to him…. But here she was sitting before him as he was undoing his belt and all she could think of was how much she admired him, only rivalled with how much she wanted his cock inside of her mouth.

As Vinny looked at him like that, pleadingly with those gorgeous wide eyes, he couldn’t help reaching for her, his fingers gently threading into those sweet curls of her hair, god, those beautiful painted lips. The way she looked up at him, wide green eyes, parted red lips, as his thumb brushed over his cheek, it was taking all his control not to just throw her down.. But she not only deserved better than that, but Christopher knew he had to be careful with her, she was mortal. “What is it, Baby, anything you want.” Talking softly as his other hand was continued with the fastenings of his suit pants after the belt.

“I want to… I want to suck you off…” she murmured gently, finally finding her voice. “Just… just a little bit.” She added meekly, “please…?” 

Her pupils were dilated, and it was clear she was ready to go, but this was… primal. She needed to have her lips on him.

Sexual terms changed so much from era to era, and mortals had gone from being extremely repressed and pious, to being sexually explicit and all manner of different things in between in the span of Christopher’s lifetime. To hear her tell him she wanted to suck him off, it was a term he’d heard in passing enough to understand the meaning, but not had referred to him before. As much as he desired so badly to be inside her, to feel her wrapped around him.. How could he deny her? Groaning softly at the thought of those perfect lips wrapped around his cock, just with the way she was looking up at him. Finishing pulling his pants open, so he could pull out his length, stroking himself slowly. “Go ahead, BabyGirl, if that’s what you want.”

It was instantaneous. She leaned in gently, swatting his hands away before licking up his length with a moan as her eyes rolled back and fluttering, her lips were soft as she kissed his tip lightly. Then… they wrapped around him, her tongue exploring every inch purring softly as she stroked him  working her way down lipstick smeared on his skin as she quivered.

His fingers tightened just a little in her hair, not stopping himself, Christopher not even really trying to either as she licked up his cock. He had to bite the inside of his lip not to let out a feral growl just at the sight of her like that. The feeling just got all the stronger as she kissed his skin and her lips actually wrapped around him. Between the brush of her tongue and her taking more of him into her mouth.. Seeing the red lipstick streak over his skin had him gulping a little, and his thighs shook.

She held him up, moving gracefully as much as she was enthusiastic. Her mouth was warm, and her eyes focused on him desperately. She knew what she wanted. What she craved and she would have it. She took her time before he was hitting the back of her throat making her eyes water, she pulled off some, breathless in the moment. Her lips were mostly pink now, and her eyes fluttered softly, catching her breath before her mouth was back on him eagerly.

Christopher was practically cupping the back of her head with the way his hand was in her hair now, the other at her shoulder to steady himself. His suit trousers slipping a little from his hips as Vinny kept worked his cock and he couldn’t help but watching her, mesmerized, fuck, she was absolutely gorgeous.. And moaning at the way she felt when he was pressed all the way back.. She was taking so much of him, fuck, how.. 

Stroking his fingers gently through her hair, “Baby, please.. Please.. I want to be inside you so bad..”

She pulled off after a moment more, his dick connected to her tongue by a long strand of saliva that finally broke as she whimpered moaning as she tugged him down to kiss him roughly with a shiver as her body moved to lay back, “Lube is in the night stand.” she whispered trying to still catch her breath lips parted some as she looked up at him adoringly. “Please… I got off last night, so I shouldn’t take much prep-” she explained quickly, legs parting for him.

Oh, oh, Christopher moaned at the sight of her lips sliding off his cock like that, and he knew all about the morning before last, but last night… Knowing she’d got off again, after she’d spent so much of the night talking to him. Still, he knew he had to be careful with her, she had no idea. Lube, reaching for her night stand, and into the draws as he kicked his pants, shoes and climbed onto her bed. Retrieving the slick, good, and pouring some onto his fingers and putting the bottle aside as he knelt between her thighs.. “I don’t want to rush, I just..” He already felt a little breathless just being here, looking at her.. 

Swallowing, his cleaning hand steadying himself at her bare hip, “You are so beautiful, BabyGirl.” His eyes dark but vibrant as he took her in, reaching between her thighs and brushing his fingertips over her rim. “I intend to enjoy all of you, for as long as you’ll let me.”

She mewled and moaned, arching to try to grasp at him. “Daddy…” she breathed out, eyes fluttering softly as she looked at him. “Chris- I want you… I don't know if I’m just being stupid but… I just want to stay with you-” she breathed, “as much as I can-”

Her hands ran over his chest and shoulders slowly, memorizing… every detail. Her other hand reached to pet his cheeks and face, softly shivering happily at the feeling of his skin against hers. She rolled her hips down against his fingers, whimpering. “Please-”

Vinny moaned as she rocked her hips slowly, and kissed at his lips eagerly, moaning and squirming on his fingers, “I won't let you go.” She admitted meekly. “I like spending time with you whenever I can…”

Christopher didn’t think it was stupid, then, he wasn’t really a man, he was a beast, a gargoyle, and he couldn’t even tell her the truth of his existence without putting her entire life in danger. One thing that he knew with all his heart though as he pressed a finger inside of her as she rolled her hips, slowly, despite her insistence that she didn’t need the prep.. He wanted to feel her open up for him. “I’m yours.”

Leaning over Vinny as he stretched her open on his fingers, gently pressing a second inside of her as he brought his lips to hers. “I’ll always be yours.” For as long as he could be. That angel that was coming, he didn’t care anymore what they would have to say, he had followed the edicts for so long, he would do his duty, he would protect the mortals for the rest of his days.. But he’d lived so long.. Why.. why couldn’t he be happy with Vinny? He’d lost his mate, just this little bit of happiness, was that too much to ask. He felt it, in his soul, it sang to hers. He knew he shouldn’t, he’d had his mate, what right did he have? But he did, he felt it.

Twisting his fingers inside of her until he was adding a little more lube and adding a third, slowly drawing them in and out as he watched her. His eyes were so loving, reverent in the way he was practically adoring her. “By the angels, BabyGirl.. You feel so good, tell me, how do you want me?” Any way, giving her control would be the safest, Christopher didn’t want to risk losing himself, but at the same time, he didn’t want to disappoint her either.

Moaning softly as he thought of the other morning, in this very bed, “Would you like to ride me Baby?” Ride him like she rode that faux penile object, yes he knew the mortals had a name for those things, but for the life of him he didn’t know it. 

Her voice quivered sensually, a moan of desire, desperation, and pleading. “Daddy- yes please-” she pleaded, “I wanna ride you… I wanna ride you-” she whispered, eyes watering as her back arched some, jaw dropping. “Daddy- Please-”

The second that Vinny agree’d, it didn’t take him a moment before Christopher was shifting their position between them on the bed. Both of their bodies were already left completely bare to each other, nothing but want and desire between them. He moved onto the bed so he was on his back, half laying against Vinny’s pillows, and half propped up against them at the headboard so she could move to straddle him. His hands reached for her hips to guide her, “Come here, BabyGirl.”

She moved to rest on his hips her length rubbing against his as she whimpered before moving even closer pressing her face into his neck for a moment kissing his neck sweetly. “Chris-” she whispered before sliding down his length steadily, head laid back as she mewled. Her powerful thighs rested on either side of his hips. He could feel her muscles coil and relax as she moved, taking her time as she whimpered happily.

Christopher’s fingers wrapped around her, sliding up from her hips to her waist as she started rocking against him, gasping with a low moan at the feel of her lips against his skin. His head tilting back as her lips trailed down his neck. The angel runes on his skin under her lips, while appearing like human tattoos to her, they felt like they were tingling like cold fire, and then ignited in feeling to him, followed along, trailing everywhere her skin touched. It had been so long since he’d felt like this, everything about her reminded him of Chenza, of his mate, whether all in his head or not, he could help but want to be right here with her. Holding her waist as she slid down on his cock, his hips arched up to her carefully, feeling the way she flexed around him, oh she was perfect. 

She moaned once she was fully seated on his cock, groaning out loud, rolling her hips a few times. Her eyes fluttered wildly for a moment, “Daddy-” she breathed before starting to glide up and down slowly at first as she savored the drag of skin on skin even with the lube. Her eyes rolled back as she finally was going fast and hard. Her jaw dropped, trembling eagerly.

He knew he should have looked for a condom, he might be ancient, but he wasn’t completely obtuse. Ryan had dragged him at least that far into the modern age. Clean up purposes, he said. He wasn’t wrong. However, he knew there wasn’t any diseases he could give Vinny, or anything he could catch from her that would harm him, and he wanted to feel every moment between them. Hands running up her body now, feeling every muscle, every slight dip to her slim strong body.. She was utterly beautiful. Capturing her lips with his now, kissing her with a hunger as his hips rocked with hers, joining her pack, not able to help but meet her with each thrust.. But making every effort to hold back the majority of his strength as his breath rushed with pants against her lips.

She panted before stopping him with a whimper almost there, frozen with trembling thighs, “Fuck- I don’t want it to be over yet.” She got out, legs shaking as her eyes fluttered softly.

Christopher’s forehead was pressed to Vinny’s as he groaned when she seemed to slow, stopping them was reaching anything close to a point of more yet, and groaning low, almost growling in his throat. His hands slipping around to her lower back, tempted to press her deeper against him and, just, rock her onto him.. He could cum, and just keep going, he could cum as many times as she needed him to tonight.. But he wanted her to first. He had to at least pretend to be mortal. Mortal had limited sexual functions, he knew that much. “BabyGirl, fuck, you can have me as often as you want.” As long as she wanted.

She groaned, head leaned back before she leaned in wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she started moving again, “I don't wanna cum right away- I've been wanting you for a few days and I want to savor you…” she breathed out softly with wide eyes licking her lips with remains of lipstick.

A strangled sound in his thought, swallowing, “Savor me?” It was strange to him, this thought of savouring sex. What was savouring sex. For him, while yeah, it was still usually about physical release, and yes pleasure and intimacy, but having the time to savour? Never. Even with Chenza, they never had the time. They were lucky to have a few moments when they woke before Jerahmiel would dispatch them on their assignments for the night, whether patrols or guards. Back then, there were more than just three of them. Or the time before dawn when they had a few blissful moments to steal away to themselves. Or even post battle, those, we’re both still alive, moments… but they were always fast, frenzied, passionate, they didn’t get the chance to savour.

Now, the fact that he’d been thinking about her for weeks was never mind. She had been driving him insane.. Was he going to keep letting her right now as he looked at this woman that was rocking her hips so slowly, and driving him to new heights? Yes, yes he was. Moaning as against her lips, not caring as her lipstick smeared ever so slightly against his skin. Little did he know, to her, enough of him was coloured with the human tattoos she could see in place of his angel markings.

She mewled softly, and arched her back, “Chris-” she moaned, moving faster than slowed, eagerly and then stopped again tight around him, eyes trained on his face with a whimper. “Chris, you feel amazing…!” She gasped out.

It felt like something was different. Maybe because they had spent So much time together… Or maybe it was because he fit perfectly inside of her. But was electric and addicting.

The way the intense cold fire still blazed through his skin, the pleasure just threatening to consuming him, feeling like it was building ever higher. He used to think it was intense before, now it was growing all the more fervent as the feelings built between them with the way Vinny kept slowing, and speeding up.. And then stopping again, so tight around him. Moaning, his head tilting back, gasping for breath, fingers so tight around her hips.. His hips bucked up against her as she gasped, his eyes meeting hers, “Fuck, BabyGirl, I’m so close, I’m I’m so-”

She shook before reaching down to stroke herself as she moved again angling herself and aimed well as she started caving instantly, jaw slack as a deep guttural moan filled the room. She pressed her forehead to his and kissed him deeply, groaning for him as pleasure rushed at her, not holding back this time.

The moment Vinny started stroking herself, Christopher’s fingers were wrapped around hers, and he was stroking with her, not pulling her hand away, but joining her. As he kissed her, his whole world tilted on its axis, from the way his fingers stroked at her with his fingers, to the brush of her lips.. The feel of her clenching around his length.. And then as he jerked inside of her, not able to stop himself coming apart this time.. Fuck, fuck.. The feeling was so intense.. More so than he ever felt before. Savor it she’d said. He was gasping for breath, like Vinny had reached into his chest and squeezed directly around his heart as he moaned. 

Vinny moaned into his mouth as he gripped her hand and clit with her. Mewling, she knew it wouldn't be much longer- then suddenly there it was- he was cumming, sending her over with him almost screaming into the kiss as white-hot pleasure rushed through her without restraint, making her gasp desperately. Her chest was glued to his as she panted softly with shaky legs.

By the angel, Christopher felt nothing but pure shock for a moment at the sight before him, a whimper in his throat. Chenza, she, she looked just.. Oh.. oh.. Fuck.. the way she followed him in her pleasure, the way she came apart like that.. Kissing her, not able to help himself as he helped her ride out her orgasm while pushing his body to relax. He knew mortals didn’t keep going the way gargoyles did, and he had to slow down.. He couldn’t keep going, he wouldn’t push Vinny too far. “You are so beautiful.”

Vinny was breathless and kissed him and the palm of his hand, panting softly, jaw dropped as she relaxed. She didn't have big loads, so the mess between them wasn't too much as she laid against his chest breathing in his scent as she groaned against his neck, lips teasing him. “So are you… you're so handsome while you cum… fuck it felt amazing, never felt that good before….”

Arms wrapped around her, Christopher pulled her down gently to the bed, they had time. Knowing that Vinny always got up before the dawn to open the café, had him so calm, so serene in the fact that he could stay here with her, and just relax. Otherwise, he’d be worried, and counting the minutes and how long he’d have before he had to make an excuse about when he had to leave. Kissing her shoulder gently, nuzzling into her skin.. She was perfect saying that, so perfect.. “Sleep BabyGirl, we both have to be up early.. I’ll help you with everything in the morning, I promise.” Kissing her sweetly.

She smiled and kissed his neck softly, eyes closing steadily as she breathed slowly, heart warm. “Good night daddy.” She whispered softly and ran her fingers over his tattoos softly, not taking long before falling asleep.

Christopher couldn’t sleep, as wonderful as he knew it was now, he couldn’t sleep, not while he had her in his arms. He could sleep during the day, he could sleep when he had no other choice in his stone prison. Right now he was holding the most precious being… and he… oh… she… his eyes stung with tears trying not to tremble. By the angel, how could he do this to her? She deserved so much better than him, but she, she reminded him so much of his Chenza.

Everything about her, Vinny was, she was glorious, remarkable, perfect, and it, it was like having her right back in his arms. Worse almost. There were times they’d dreamed about hiding away to just steal a moment like this, quiet, holding each other… not that they could ever really have them in the life, the war that they’d fought alongside each other. The war that he was still fighting. The war that he would never be able to stop fighting, and Vinny deserved so much better than to have to deal with him, and be compared to his lost mate, his lost love. But he was too much of a monster to be able to let her go.

[silverjetsystm]

I DIAGNOSE YOU WITH HOT

person on the train reading a book hot

"you're totally their type. well, you're not. but that's what the passenger across from you is thinking as you sit there, completely oblivious. you're mysterious, and serene, and look so natural sitting there on the train they think your feet might be bolted to the floor the way the chairs and safety rails are. you're in your own world, you're reading something with an intriguing title, and without even knowing it passengers are praying for some reason that you'll look up and ask for their number. you don't, of course. and they don't ask for yours, either. how could they disturb such a peaceful moment? but despite the fact that nothing was said, they managed to fall in love with you for 15 minutes. for the rest of the day they think about what your voice might've sounded like, what your interests might've been, how you might've smiled at them like they were your whole world if they'd managed to make you feel that way. you have that effect on people, in case you didn't know."

//Spector's Oblivious Nature is Captivating.

rockstar hot

"you're wanted. by crowds of people. a heart-throb, who people hang posters of in their room and tell their friends is "so dreamy." you may not even be a celebrity, you could just be the star of your school. but what you and rockstars have in common is that your entire routine is very well-rehearsed, and you know exactly the right words, the right looks, to draw people's attention. you're a performance, you're an act, a hyperbolized version of a human being that others can get lost in. it's so easy for people to crush on you because they don't realize they don't know anything about you. you're an archetype, a character for others to project onto, and damn if it isn't a fun role to play."

//He's a dork but he dresses nice and can play the game.

bob the builder hot

"i am not saying bob the builder is hot, im just saying you have the hotness of a handyman. you're humble, down to earth, and exist with an easy confidence that takes peoples breath away. you always seem to know exactly what you are doing. you may still be stuck in your hometown, but you have quite the reputation. you do get a lot of business, after all. people around here sure tend to break things an awful lot, and they always call you, listening through the phone receiver with a light blush and bated breath, for your inevitable "'I'll help you.'"

//yeah okay no notes

stolen from @themckaytriarchy

[lifetimeshipper]

Angel From A Dream

Chapter 17

~~~~~~~~~~

If you love Grimlock I am so sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Grimlock wakes up the first thing he feels is a tingling sensation and some slight pain going through his entire body. He groans as he opens his optics, "What happened?" When his optics open he's met with complete darkness which sends him into a panic, "I'm blind! Bumblebee, any bot, help I can't see!" He screams as he thrashes around trying to get up only to find himself restricted from being able to move too much. This is when he realizes that he's strapped down to a table with his arms pressing tightly to his sides and his legs and tail strapped firmly to the table.

When the lights came on, Grimlock felt relief that he wasn't blind after all, he was just in a dark room. But the relief soon went away when he saw the man that was talking to them on the screen before, except now his shirt was torn and bandages were going from his stomach up to his left shoulder, and a bandage covered the left side of his face. Grimlock roars at the man as he tries to free himself but finds himself unable to break his restraints.

"Stop struggling, you will never break out of them," Brendon says and Grimlock stops moving and glares at him.

"What have you done with Strongarm!?"

"Ah yes, the female Cybertronian. I haven't done anything to her, she escaped along with that male wolf-looking one."

Good, she got away. But she's still with Steeljaw...

"You're a strange one, I don't think my uncle has ever encountered a Cybertronian such as yourself. One that can transform into a T-Rex? That is remarkable. Are there any others that can turn into a dinosaur?"

"I'm not telling you!"

"No matter, we have you and I intend to look into every inch of your form to see just how you work," Brendon says as a wicked smile spreads across his face. Grimlock kept his glare until he heard Underbite's screams echo from the other room. "Open him up." Grimlock's glare fell as worry and fear seeped in.

Grimlock watched as one of the other humans jumped onto his chest and brought over a big saw that was sharp enough to cut through any kind of metal. His optics widened as he watched the man lower the saw to his chest with it turning on as it got closer to his armor. He closed his optics and prayed to Primus that the others would bust in and stop them before the saw would make contact, but no such luck. 

He feels the sharp blade cut right into his armor and he screams as it's pulled down along his chest going towards his abdomen. The horrible sound of metal cutting into metal filled his audio receptors as he felt a burning sensation and severe pain in his chest, he felt the heat of sparks flying out as his armor spread open and some wires got cut.

Grimlock screams even louder when he feels another saw cut into the armor on his tail. Warnings and errors started flashing across his optics as his systems threatened to shut down from all the pain. He remembers Bumblebee telling them about M.E.C.H and the damage they were capable of doing but he could never believe it because they're just humans. How could humans do such damage to them? But now that he's going through the same thing Bumblebee was telling them about, he believes it. He just hopes the others can get there to save him in time before he offlines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brendon watches his soldiers cut open the Dinobot as he listens to its screams of pain. He forgot they had pain sensors, his uncle had documented that they did but he forgot about it. Nevertheless, it makes him happy to hear the thing's screams and cries of agony. They deserve it after what they did to his uncle, despite him being a heartless monster he didn't need to go out in whatever way he went out by their hands.

Brendon grits his teeth as he looks down at the blood-soaked bandages on his body peeking out from under his torn shirt. Pain shoots through him from the wounds left by the claws of that wolf-like Cybertronian. When they get the wolf back the first thing he's gonna do is remove his claws, very painfully.

He was actually surprised when he woke up and saw that he survived the wounds, he thought for sure he was dead. But his men made sure he stayed alive and he will repay them for that. But right now he needs to get some pain medication and his bandages changed, so with a grunt of pain and disappointment that he must leave the show, he walks out of the room to go find the medic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Smokescreen trailed behind Ultra Magnus and Fracture he couldn't stop thinking about his son. Should he have stayed with him? How is the operation going? He knows he's still online because he can still feel him through their bond. A bit faint but it's still there.

Knock Out, how's it going? He calls to his sparkmate through their bond.

Still operating. It's a bit touch and go but I believe Ratchet and I can pull him through. But I still can't believe I'm operating on my own son and trying to keep him from joining Primus.

I know it's difficult but you can do it. You and Ratchet are both great medics and you've really improved on your operating skills.

Thanks, babe. Glad one of us has faith in me.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Any luck finding Strongarm?

Well, we know for sure that this Steeljaw character Bumblebee was talking about did take her and as of right now, they're both being held by a human group that's being led by Silas' nephew.

Seriously? Is he just as bad as Silas was?

Yep. Seems to be following in his uncle's footsteps completely.

Primus. I hope Strongarm is alright.

Me too.

I better stop talking, need to focus on the operation.

You do that. Smokescreen says before cutting out. He wishes he hadn't when he hears Fracture saying a crude comment about Strongarm and then sees Ultra Magnus getting ready to strangle him.

"That's my god-daughter you're talking about! Say one more thing about her, 'Con, I dare you!"

Smokescreen couldn't help but laugh, it's so weird seeing Magnus get so worked up like this. He wanted the 'Con to say something else so he could see Magnus really go off on him. But before Fracture could utter another word they heard Bumblebee on the comm calling out to all of them.

:: Listen up everyone, I want us all to meet back up at the spot where we departed from. Bulkhead, Thunderhoof, and I came across Agent Fowler who can help us find the base. :: Bumblebee tells everyone over the comm as he continues to follow Fowler through the woods.

:: Heading back, 'Bee. :: Arcee responds first.

:: Affirmative. :: Ultra Magnus responds.

Bumblebee begins to worry when he hears nothing from Grimlock.:: Grimlock, did you hear me? :: 

Still nothing and he starts getting more worried.

:: Grimlock, you there? ::

No response...

:: Eyo, Underbite. Did you knock out the Dinobot? :: Thunderhoof says over his comm to his teammate. But he's greeted with the same silence.:: Underbite? ::

Bumblebee grew more worried when they didn't hear from either of them. Did they find the base and get captured? If they did get captured then he and the others need to move fast to find them.:: Everyone, transform and hurry to the spot! :: Bumblebee shouts over the comm as he transforms and lets Agent Fowler in before driving off with Bulkhead and Thunderhoof right behind him.

Being in vehicle mode it doesn't take long for the three teams to meet up at the spot where they began. When everyone met up they all transformed, "'Bee, do you think they captured Grimlock?" Smokescreen asked.

"It's possible." Bumblebee looks down at Fowler, "Which way, Fowler?" When Fowler pointed in the direction Grimlock and Underbite had gone Bumblebee's spark dropped as his Energon ran cold, his suspicions were right. "Scrap! That's the way Grimlock and Underbite went!" 'Bee says with panic and worry evident in his voice.

"So now we have two more we need to rescue," Arcee chimes in.

"Then let's waste no more time. Let's get going," Magnus says as he starts walking in the direction Fowler pointed to and the others follow. All the 'Bots are hoping and praying they get there in time before the humans do too much damage. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Next Chapter

[storm-driver]

okay i cant help it anymore, ffxvi spoiler talk up to the events of phoenix gate 2

I am. So entranced by this game.

Clive Rosfield is one of the best RPG protagonists I've ever seen. Arguably one of the best male protagonists ever. It's not even me swooning for him (which I am, he's hot af). But he is just so well written in his current predicaments.

A royal boy thrown into the gutter and having to fight for their life is a trope done before, but this genuinely feels like an undeserved torture for the poor boy, and all you wanna do is see him win a few times. His family was revered, but not because of their royalty alone. Because his father was a genuinely good person and Clive, by extension, was taught by the best. He loves his little brother and wishes so badly he could help Joshua bear the burden of being the Phoenix, and Clive made it his life's goal to be his Shield and keep him safe.

Which, just makes it so much more tragic when Clive ends up being a huge factor in the slaughter of his people, and he has next to no control over it. You pity him so much, because he just doesn't know he's a root in all the strife, including own self-loathing for being unable to save his brother.

It's obvious to the audience, painfully so, that he's Ifrit, and just hasn't realized it. So when Clive himself finally realizes it, after putting on the angsty front for the first few hours, you suddenly realise HOW BAD that must feel. How much he must want to kill himself, after loathing Ifrit and what'd he'd caused for the past 13-years. His family getting slaughtered, mother betraying them all, and then being hoisted into the frontline and branded as a slave.

It's this cacophony of sorrow, and despite it all, Clive is hardly crying for himself. He's always in strife for the sake of others, himself be damned. And on top of that, he has these moments vulnerability where he screams out his hatred and disgust, hatred for himself, and the people who torture his loved ones. He cries openly, begs the torment to end, falls to his knees and prays that whatever torture is happening isn't real.

It's such genuine and real emotion that I seldom have difficulty believing. I am invested in most every emotional moment in this game. Because Clive is such an excellent portrayal of a war-hardened soul who hasn't forgotten how to love others. He still holds onto that humanity that his father taught him, and the innocence that he saw in Joshua.

It's so compelling, especially when it reaches a pique in the ruins of Phoenix Gate, where Clive has to confront his inner demons and properly accept his actions, the truth of what happened that night. That'd he'd murdered many of his own people, including his own brother, in a blind rage that he had no control over. That control of himself, his acceptance of his actions, properly manifesting in the limit break system, where he can finally control Ifrit's power, and he's stronger than he's been before.

It's such good buildup to that moment, because there is no huge bombshell drop to tell the audience "he's Ifrit!!!" You already know that going in, the game doesn't try to hide it at all. Rather the buildup to the acceptance is gradual. Clive venturing through the cruel world he once considered his home. Being treated like crap all because of a mark on his cheek. Realising he is a cause of the strife.

And rather than being overwhelmed by despair and taking his own life, he grabs this deadly power by the reigns and makes it his own. He won't suffer the cruelty of this world anymore, not without fighting back. There's kindness in his heart, but there's a raging fire there, too. Burning hot after 13 long years of suffering under his own guilt, grief, and hatred. A stubborn flame that flickers, but never dies.

[theseiwrite]

The only reason my body hasn’t perished.

So you wouldn’t ever feel like someone on this planet doesn’t love you wholefully and truly.

I never will ever wipe my tears shed in your name.

They’re proof that I love you, and have loved you.

The are enraptured in your memory,

I’m your embrace and truest kiss,

And if all my other memories fade I hope and pray that yours are the last.

So that at the moment I am forgotten I am still with you.

You know, the only reason I know God exists, is when I say your name.

It’s going to take me a forever to heal, but I know what we had was real.

We changed each others’ hearts and you left an imprint on my soul.

Despite all that lays between us now,

I hope you know,

That apart of me,

Will always and only forever,

Be holding you.

And if I had a flower,

For ever time I’ll think of you,

I could walk in a garden of your flowers forever.

I hope this deep splitting guilt stays with me,

Because it’ll remind me of you and your impact on my heart it’s the love I feel and felt for you manifesting in the only way it can.

So,

And if you’re ever homesick for me, know I’ve left a key hidden under the back door pot.

Don’t hesitate to come back,

Walk right in and sit next to me on the couch as if nothing ever changed.

Pick a movie out for us to watch.

I’ll make popcorn and put out some veggies and kemchi for you to eat and pour our drinks.

I won’t ask you to explain.

I won’t ask about our absence or your sudden reappearance.

I’ll ask if you still prefer whiskey gingers or if you prefer something new and if you’d like to order food.

Don’t be afraid to come home,

I’ve waiting to hear the back door open since I closed the front.

Only forever still means something to me.

Goodbye doesn’t have to be forever.

I’ll dream of you, as I’ve done since that night. And if this is my life, I pray I will dream forever.

You were my easiest hello, and my unforgettable unforgivable hardest goodbye.

You have no idea, how badly I want your name to light up my phone again.

It was so much more than real for me.

You made me feel human again you were my lifeline to the world.

I truly don’t know what to say, except, that it tore my heart from my body saying goodbye to you.

None of this feels real, I feel like I’m awaiting to wake up, that you’ll shake me and tell me I was having a nightmare, I’ll get up and turn the closet light on for the night. I’d leave that light on indefinitely so I’ll never slip into this reality again.

I endlessly think about you. I have a million things to tell you, and most begin with I’m sorry and all end with please forgive me.

I will pronounce your name unlike every other, and I will never say another like yours.

We kinda are, and will always be, every time you feel the sun on your skin or the moonlight seeps into your eyes I’ll be with you and in someway, together, we kinda are.

At the end of your day and all is silent, know that I love you still, within the blood that’s moving through my heart there is a place for you, and that place is sorry and begs for your forgiveness.

I promised you things, and swore I’d never break them, and I didn’t.

I broke myself upon them, I shattered myself and You upon them.

And God, I am so sorry. My Sweet Jagiya, my dream girl. I am sorry, and destroyed.

My hand, my fingers will be separated and ache for yours for all eternity, for all time, for you.

If Loss, if grief, if this feeling means love, then I have loved more than anything and anyone, I have loved so much.

I will and do mean this last line in the totalness that I can.

My hand will never hold another’s, my mouth will never speak another’s name, my eyes will never give another’s gaze, my heart will never have another home. I swear. Only forever is only forever.

And, I’ll never let you go.

I weep for hazel, our Pup, to never know me to beat you home again, sitting on the edge of the couch while I take off my boots and hug her for a full minute and just feel each other breathe against ourselves protecting each other in a way, an eye contact knowing I’ll protect you and you’ll protect me. Please tell her, and I know she won’t understand, which hurts more but, hold her and tell her I’m sorry.

Years of love have been forgot, In the hatred of a minute.

I am so deathly afraid

The next time our eyes meet

You will find yourself staring at a stranger

And I will find myself watching somebody realize that I have become someone they no longer recognize.

Maybe, in another life we’ll sit across from each other at the table and go over the grocery list and what we want to do that day;

Until then I resign.

I hope you only, only remember all the fun we had Together.

Yes every rose has its thorns, I saw yours and my hands wanted to bleed and still do.

I just need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it.

“I Still Do” (Chapter 13, Jagiya) DKL

[secretariatess]

Christians have sold themselves into slavery to reach those who might otherwise never be reached.

One man was called to be a missionary as a child, and was so insistent on his call, that his parents moved to Columbia to fulfill that call.  Later in his life, he kept getting kidnapped, which provided him opportunity to witness to his kidnappers.

Brother Andrew smuggled Bibles past the Iron Curtain, even being as blatant sometimes as having Bibles sitting on the front seat with him as he asked God to get by the guards literally pulling cars apart looking for contraband.

One of the founders of Voice of the Martyrs made it a point to show love to his captors, despite the cruel treatment he received.

Gladys Aylward hiked her way through the snow during a war after the train refused to take her any farther, and missionary agencies did not fund her, so she could fulfill her call to China.

Jim Elliot’s mission ultimately came from his death.

A missionary couple, along with their young son, placed themselves in a tribe that was constantly warring with another tribe.

A girl, following the instructions of the Spirit, went into a convenience store and did an handstand by the ATM.  Her bizarre action lead to the cashier breaking down and admitting he had been contemplating suicide.

I personally know someone who was told by God to pull over, and start talking to a man on the sidewalk, and ask if she could pray for him.

How radical do we want to be for God?  What kind of radical do we want to be?  the kind of radical who has a certain set of beliefs that will not budge, and everyone should know the morality of those beliefs?  Or the kind of radical who will do crazy things because God told them, even when it doesn’t make sense?

In the American church in general, I find that there are a lot of people who go, “Yeah, but . . . .” in response to going farther with their faith.  “Yeah, I’d like to do that, but . . . . xyz is preventing me.”  “Yeah, I’d like to be that faithful, but . . . . that’s just going to make me look crazy.”  “Yeah, that sounds nice, but . . . . no human should have to live like that, including me.”  “Yeah, I’d do that, but . . . . it’d be too stressful for me.”  “Yeah, but . . . . this other thing is really my dream.”

It’s not like this hasn’t been seen before.  Moses pulled the whole, “Yeah, but-” on God, and God just went, “Take Aaron.”  God already knows our needs; He already knows our situations.  When He puts a call on our life -whether it’s as big as selling yourself into slavery or as minor as pulling over a car to talk with a specific person on the sidewalk- why should our first thought be that we can’t do it because of some obstacle?  Gladys had a war in her path, but she knew God had called her to China, so to China she would go.  The only reason she’s some kind of Christian superhero is because she was obedient and trusted God.  She wasn’t given that special status because she was some special person, singled out among many.  Every Christian is told to do something by God.  It’s not always going to be easy stuff.  A lot of times it will require laying down the right to indignation, the right staying free, the right to the safety and comfort of a home, the right to dignity . . . but there is a purpose in what He asks of us.

How obedient do we want to be?  Do we want to be obedient enough that we just stick with trying to not sin and be good churchgoers?  Or do we want to be obedient enough that we can say, “Here I am Lord, send me,” and mean it?

If God asked you to go somewhere on your “nope” list, or to do something that seemed absolutely insane or crazy to you, would you do it?  The question isn’t whether or not it would be easy, the question would be if you would do it?

And if you wouldn’t, would you work on your relationship with God where you could get to a point where you would?  Or are you comfortable where you’re at in your relationship now?

[sticksbatnix]

Patient Interview #3

“Faith”

Real Name: Corvus

Occupation: Professional Criminal

Base of Operations: Gotham City

Hair(Feathers?): Black

Eyes: Black

Height: 6 ft 3 in

Weight: 180 Ib

[BEGIN TAPE]

Corvus: Excuse me for talking right away, but I needed to apologize for my behavior during our last session. I wasn't. . .in the best of mind.

Dr. Tibbetts: You don't need to apologize. This is a safe space, you’re free to speak your mind no matter what. This wouldn't be therapy if you didn't have a chance to speak at all.

Corvus: I know, but it's the guilt in me. By the Gods, my emotions have been unstable since my last doctor.

Dr. Tibbetts: That’s what I wanted to talk about with you, Corvus.

Corvus: Talk about what? That doctor?

Dr. Tibbetts: No, your faith. Your religion. What kinds of Gods do you pray to?

Corvus: I pray to many Gods. I show no favoritism, though, whoever answers my prayers are those I know have listened to them.

Dr. Tibbetts: But which Gods do you pray to exactly? When I look through your files there are instances in that you pray to different Gods of different religions.

Corvus: When I was young, I was told that there was never one true God but instead thousands of them, maybe millions, both known and unknown by man. The ones we were taught to pray to are those who listen to our prayers and give pity to our desires whether that be on our wants or needs. So, I do not have one God or one pantheon to pray to, instead, I pray to them all.

Dr. Tibbetts: That sounds like a lot of work.

Corvus: It is! You can't imagine how hard it is to please many Gods with one prayer alone. I make sure to be specific in my prayers to not confuse them if they so choose to listen to them.

Dr. Tibbetts: Are there specific Gods you pray to?

Corvus: I pray to Odin, the All-Father, once I have reached a great plan to escape my enemies. I pray to Ra, the Sun God, for lighting the paths before me for my travels. I pray to Zeus for allowing the rain to dim so that I can take flight.

Dr. Tibbetts: I hope your prayers aren't heard by Mr. Goodman and Mr. Zeus.

Corvus pauses for a moment before laughing.

Corvus: By the Gods, no! To pray to those fools is to pray to false Gods! False Gods are created by a man’s broken mind with only tricks to convince the gullible with their delusions!

Dr. Tibbetts: And yet they claim that they can hear your prayers.

Corvus: It's all claims. No more than that. I bet they heard me pray once and they’re immediately convinced it was to them instead! Poor fools are what they are. I pray that the Gods have mercy on their souls when they eventually, pass.

Dr. Tibbetts turns a page over.

Dr. Tibbetts: You’ve made a few requests to have your own shrine in your cell.

Corvus: Always dismissed. I made my own and that monster of a guard broke it apart! You should have seen the horror cross my face! While Lyle had laughed at my misery I prayed to the Gods for forgiveness for leaving my cell open to that bastard!

Dr. Tibbetts: Yes, I’ve read the report. It seems like there’s never an end to him.

Corvus: Let that man break me from the inside and out but if he thinks he could destroy my faith in the Gods, then he's completely wrong. Whatever God he prays to have left him the moment he entered the doors of this asylum. That I know.

Dr. Tibbetts: I’m sorry that you have to go through that, Corvus, you don't deserve that.

Corvus huffs.

Corvus: Of course not, but I am being kept within these walls so I'm sure Dr. Arkham has no problem keeping him for years to come.

Dr. Tibbetts: I’m sure that Dr. Arkham has his best intentions.

Corvus: Are those intentions strapping my wings so tightly it restricts circulation? The same intentions to keep me chained day and night? To restrict basic human rights, despite the fact I am not human, to the point I'm being thrown around like a ragdoll?

Dr. Tibbetts: Uh-

Corvus: If so, then I'm sure I would love to hear Dr. Arkham’s opinion about it. I'm not the first nor last patient to be suffering under these conditions. I fear that it may get worse.

Dr. Tibbetts: There are protocols made to make sure you don't get out. I've read that if there was one strapless on your wings you’ll be able to break them in a snap. Same with those chains, they’re made specifically to match the ones on Mr. Jones to prevent you from breaking them. Your strength is not to be played with, Corvus.

Corvus: Ah, so it's the ignorance at last! I was waiting to see how that’ll come up like all the others!

Dr. Tibbetts: It’s not ignorance, Corvus, it's for safety.

Corvus: For me?

Corvus points to themselves before pointing at Dr. Tibbetts, chains rattling.

Corvus: Or for you?

Dr. Tibbetts: For both of us.

Corvus sighs.

Corvus: For you then. . .

Dr. Tibbetts: What do you mean by ignorance from others? Do you mean the other doctors that treated you? Dr. Martin?

Corvus: Are you still on that? Is everyone still talking about her? I figured everyone forgot about her, I certainly did, and so did the other patients. We held a small celebration while at it, it was fun, the good doctor even gave me a gift. A small bag filled with roaches. The best ones I've eaten.

Dr. Tibbetts: Murder isn't something to celebrate, Corvus. Dr. Martin was a human being.

Corvus: An ignorant, selfish, and narcissistic one at that! I couldn't stand her! No one could!

Dr. Tibbetts: Even then, she was just trying to help.

Corvus: She made Ms. Quinzel cry! That's not helping that's just her appealing to her sadism! I did everyone a favor and knowing how she was I'm sure that her children would be very grateful to know they wouldn't have a terrible mother like her around anymore.

Dr. Tibbetts: That’s horrible to say Corvus.

Corvus: Horrible or not, you didn't meet her, and you didn't know the despicable things she said toward me.

Dr. Tibbetts: Well, could you tell me what Dr. Martin said to you?

Corvus: Many things. She preached, she judged, and she even discouraged my emotions for her own. It was like she wanted everyone to be her perfect ideal patient to control and move around like a puppet. It was disgusting.

Dr. Tibbetts: What was the worst thing she said to you?

Corvus is silent for a moment, breathing in and out slowly.

Corvus: She said it was my fault.

Dr. Tibbetts: What was your fault?

Corvus takes another moment to respond, their claws shaking before they held them on their lap.

Corvus: She said it was my fault that my brothers and sisters died the way they did. That what that doctor had done to us was all because of my stupidity and trust in him by a single crumb of bread.

Dr. Tibbetts: Was that all she said to you?

Corvus: She said more before all that. She claimed that my Gods were false Gods. She claimed my rehilibatation would be considered a miracle knowing my physical state. And she even claimed that the good doctor was using me for his own selfish benefits.

Dr. Tibbetts speaks but is interrupted.

Corvus: And yet, doctor, that was tame compared to what I did the moment she spoke of my brothers and sisters. My own feathers and blood, the ones I grew up with, and all suffered under the hands of a man who played God! Oh, the emotions I felt were like no other and I felt the hands of Sekhmet’s grip on my mind so tightly that it drove me into a blind rage!

Dr. Corvus gets up halfway on their chair before quickly sitting right down, Dr. Tibbetts still shocked listens in.

Corvus: And before I knew it, I was bathed in her blood, her insides now her outsides, and her soul was then given to the Gods for the ultimate judgment.

Corvus gives out a big sigh, scratching at their neck. A few minutes have passed before they speak again, calmer than the outburst they had before.

Corvus: I’m sure there are plenty of documents and tapes laying around for you to dig through in this asylum. I know they’re here somewhere, if not, then the staff here know that I am not to be taken lightly on my complaints. If I say that I do not like a doctor, then I don't like that doctor, and if I say that I find that doctor bearable, then they are bearable.

Dr. Tibbetts: And. . .do you think I’m bearable, Corvus?

Corvus: That depends. . .

Corvus leans in, chains rattling.

Corvus: Will you treat me like a wild animal or a human being? But please understand this, doctor, one of those answers will guarantee your survival.

[TAPE ENDS]

[imprisonedbythewizardinmyhead]

On death, by one not experienced in it

(reader discretion advised, these musings contain potentially harmful topics)

“Death is but the next grand adventure”. A fitting line by someone not afraid to die, used by one such as myself. Here, dear reader, I shall bear to you what I normally mask through a multitude of facades. To many, I am but simply a friend, a classmate, someone they may think they know, but not quite. And yet, even here, with my deepest parts about to be laid bare upon these pages, I cannot help but sit back and look at the me writing this, a fool still drunk on fear. For I shall not name myself to you dear reader. I shall be a genderless, nameless “I”. For that is the extent of which my cowardice will allow. But continuing, I am not what I say I am, when that place is not here of course. Out there, in those halls. I play the good student, the caring friend, the passionate teammate, and the happy human, rather well I’d imagine, although again perhaps that is simply my desperate attempt to pray I could be good at something. This metaphor will not relate to anything, because despite how I relate to theatre, I could never participate, my mind too weak in its belief of itself to allow my flesh to take part. Because here dear reader, I reveal another facet of myself to you. I am not as confident as either I or you think I am out there. Out there, people think I’m smart(ish), or even know what I’m doing. I don’t. I never do. And that matter is as simple as that. No matter how many hours I pour into study, or learning, or training. My body simply will not allow me to accept that I may know something. I must constantly judge myself based on the body of my peers, the best ones mind you, so that I can feel anything but bad about myself. I cannot allow myself to be anything less than good, and yet I also cannot allow myself to disappoint someone, or try as hard as I think I should, I feel there is something always holding me back, I take on everything I can, and perhaps more I should not so that my facade stays clean, and the lines beneath it do not show. But this piece should not be just about me, no. So I shall pertain to the topic mentioned in the title. Death. With a capital D. Not something insignificant, but something grand, to be feared and revered. Ender of all, Finality, Totality, and in a way, beautiful. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Why am I writing this, as I lay on my couch. For what purpose must I spew my innards to this page. To simply get them out before I break, perhaps, but then again, humour is another mask, so easy to hide behind. Get them to laugh and smile and they never suspect you hate every fibre of your being. But then why write this? In my head it is to educate, although that perhaps might be a grander notion than what truly is. But it will work, and like so much else about myself, shall simply have to be another mask. You should know that I have not thought about an Action most heinous, (according to Christians), in a very long time. That Action is the act of taking one's own life, and I can safely say with some confidence that while I dislike myself, I would not seek to remove it anymore. But this writing is to those out there who might. And those who do not understand what it is like to wish for that, and in that I think I have found the purpose of my writing. To bring to you, reader, what it means to hate yourself, utterly and truly. There is an analogy out there I rather much like, that likens what I would assume drives my hatred, to snow. Snow works rather perfectly, for it is uncaring in its nature. It does not care that it falls, it simply does, and here is where I shall explain. Every day, when you are like this. It is like it has snowed. Some days, it is only an inch, and is nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Other days, maybe 6 inches, and you are late to

[vinceleemiller]

Breaking Through Stubbornness | 1 Samuel 8:19-20

Have personal insecurities made you stubborn and unreceptive to God's plan?

Welcome to the Daily Devo. I am Vince Miller.

This week, we are in 1 Samuel 8. I've titled this chapter "When Our Insecurities Define Us."

Today, our text is 1 Samuel 8:19-20, which reads:

But the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel. And they said, “No! But there shall be a king over us, that we also may be like all the nations, and that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.” — 1 Samuel 8:19-20

This is a powerful example of human stubbornness. The Israelites, despite being warned, demanded a king. Samuel had clarified the consequences, but they refused to listen. They so desperately wanted to be like other nations that they ignored the wisdom of God’s messenger because their hearts were set on their desires.

How often do we find ourselves in similar situations?

We might not be desperate for a king, but we have all stubbornly pursued our plans. Like Clark Griswold, we have our ideas about our vacations and want them to go our way. Only when our way disappoints do we see the situation in another way.

Being less trivial, we have all been stubborn at some point. We have all ignored the truth of Scripture, the wisdom of godly counsel, and the nudge of the Holy Spirit. Then our hearts become hardened, and the truth will not seep in. Therefore, we miss and dismiss the warning that directs us to the path of truth.

This situation reminds us of how stubborn we can all be, and sometimes, we need to examine our hearts. Sometimes, we need to spade the hardened soil of our hearts and become receptive to God, wise men, wisdom, and truth.

Take a moment today to seek God’s wisdom in any area where you’ve been stubborn. Pray for the humility to listen and the courage to follow God's guidance. Share your reflections with a friend and invite them to walk with you in this new experience of faith.

#GodsPlan #Insecurities #SpiritualGrowth

Ask This:

How can identifying and addressing my personal insecurities help me become more receptive to God's guidance in my life?

Reflecting on a recent situation where I've been stubborn, what steps can I take to cultivate a spirit of humility and openness to God's plan moving forward?

Do This:

Share an insecurity and get wisdom from a godly friend.

Pray This:

Father, help me to recognize and confront the insecurities that hinder my trust in Your perfect plan. Grant me humility and wisdom to surrender my stubbornness and follow Your guidance wholeheartedly. Amen.

Play This:

Come To The Table.

Check out this episode!

[dfroza]

“because we are joined by faith as family, and your faith is spreading across the world”

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 1st chapter of the letter of Romans:

Paul, a servant of Jesus the Anointed called by God to be His emissary and appointed to tell the good news of the things promised long ago by God, spoken by prophets, and recorded in the Holy Scriptures. All of this good news is about His Son: who was (from a human perspective) born of David’s royal line and ultimately designated to be the true Son of God with power upon His resurrection from the dead by the Spirit of holiness. I am speaking of Jesus, the Anointed One, our Lord.

And here’s what He’s done: He has graced us and sanctioned us as His emissaries whose mission is to spread the one true and obedient faith to all people in the name of Jesus. This includes you: you have been called by Jesus, God’s Anointed.

To all those who are God’s beloved saints in Rome:

May grace and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus, the Anointed One, surround you.

First, I thank my God through Jesus the Anointed for all of you because we are joined by faith as family, and your faith is spreading across the world. For I call God as my witness—whom I worship in my spirit and serve in making known the gospel—He alone knows how often I mention you in my prayers. I find myself constantly praying for you and hoping it’s in God’s will for me to be with you soon. I desperately want to see you so that I can share some gift of the Spirit to strengthen you. Plus I know that when we come together something beautiful will happen as we are encouraged by each other’s faith.

If, my brothers and sisters, you did not already know, my plans were set to meet you in Rome, but time and circumstances have forced every trip to be canceled until now. I have deeply desired to see some good fruit among you just as I have seen with so many non-Jewish believers. You see, I am in tremendous debt to those of various nationalities, from non-Jews to barbarians, from the wisest of the wise to the idle wanderer. So you can imagine how eager I am to join you and to teach the good news in the mighty and diverse city of Rome.

For I am not the least bit embarrassed about the gospel. I won’t shy away from it, because it is God’s power to save every person who believes: first the Jew, and then the non-Jew. You see, in the good news, God’s restorative justice is revealed. And as we will see, it begins with and ends in faith. As the Scripture declares, “By faith the just will obtain life.”

For the wrath of God is breaking through from heaven, opposing all manifestations of ungodliness and wickedness by the people who do wrong to keep God’s truth in check. These people are not ignorant about what can be known of God, because He has shown it to them with great clarity. From the beginning, creation in its magnificence enlightens us to His nature. Creation itself makes His undying power and divine identity clear, even though they are invisible; and it voids the excuses and ignorant claims of these people because, despite the fact that they knew the one true God, they have failed to show the love, honor, and appreciation due to the One who created them! Instead, their lives are consumed by vain thoughts that poison their foolish hearts. They claim to be wise; but they have been exposed as fools, frauds, and con artists— only a fool would trade the splendor and beauty of the immortal God to worship images of the common man or woman, bird or reptile, or the next beast that tromps along.

So God gave them just what their lustful hearts desired. As a result, they violated their bodies and invited shame into their lives. How? By choosing a foolish lie over God’s truth. They gave their lives and devotion to the creature rather than to the Creator Himself, who is blessed forever and ever. Amen. This is why God released them to their own vile pursuits, and this is what happened: they chose sexual counterfeits—women had sexual relations with other women and men committed unnatural, shameful acts because they burned with lust for other men. This sin was rife, and they suffered painful consequences.

Since they had no mind to recognize God, He turned them loose to follow the unseemly designs of their depraved minds and to do things that should not be done. Their days are filled with all sorts of godless living, wicked schemes, greed, hatred, endless desire for more, murder, violence, deceit, and spitefulness. And, as if that were not enough, they are gossiping, slanderous, God-hating, rude, egotistical, smug people who are always coming up with even more dreadful ways to treat one another. They don’t listen to their parents; they lack understanding and character. They are simple-minded, covenant-breaking, heartless, and unmerciful; they are not to be trusted. Despite the fact that they are fully aware that God’s law says this way of life deserves death, they fail to stop. And worse—they applaud others on this destructive path.

The Letter of Romans, Chapter 1 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

According to Paul, in and by itself, the gospel is power—God’s power. The simple message of Jesus brings healing and rescue to all people. It starts with God’s people, the Jews, but does not end until all people hear and respond to its call.

The gospel reveals how right and faithful God has been all along. It begins with God’s faithfulness to His creation and His covenant people. Then God acts, finally and decisively, in the cross of Jesus. For Paul the cross, more than any other event, displays Jesus’ faithfulness to God the Father. As the Gospels tell us, in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus entrusts Himself completely to God’s will. As a result, this good news brings faith and hope to those who hear and respond to its elegant message. Because God is faithful, He acts in a most extraordinary way. Somehow in the scandal of the cross, He offers His own Son in order to redeem the fallen world.

Today’s paired reading from the First Testament is the 12th chapter of the book of Exodus:

Eternal One (to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt): Mark this month as the first month of all months for you—the first month of your year. Declare this message to the entire community of Israel: “When the tenth day of this month arrives, every family is to select a lamb, one for each household. If there aren’t enough people in the family to eat an entire lamb, then they should share a lamb with their nearest neighbor according to how many people are in the neighbor’s family. Divide the portions of the lamb so that each person has enough to eat. Choose a one-year-old male that is intact and free of blemishes; you can take it from the sheep or the goats. Keep this chosen lamb safe until the fourteenth day of the month, then the entire community of Israel will slaughter their lambs together at twilight. They are to take some of its blood and smear it across the top and down the two sides of the doorframe of the houses where they plan to eat. That night, have them roast the lamb over a fire and feast on it along with bitter herbs and bread made without yeast. Do not eat any meat raw or boil it in water; only eat the meat after the entire animal has been roasted over a fire with its head, legs, and intestines attached. Eat whatever you can, but don’t leave any of it until morning; whatever is left over in the morning burn in the fire. Here is how I want you to eat this meal: Be sure you are dressed and ready to go at a moment’s notice—with sandals on your feet and a walking stick in your hand. Eat quickly because this is My Passover.

I am going to pass through the land of Egypt during the night and put to death all their firstborn children and animals. I will also execute My judgments against all the gods of the Egyptians, for I am the Eternal One! The blood on the doorframes of your houses will be a sign of where you are. When I pass by and see the blood, I will pass over you. This plague will not afflict you when I strike the land of Egypt with death.

This will be a day for you to always remember. I want you and all generations after you to commemorate this day with a festival to Me. Celebrate this feast as a perpetual ordinance, a permanent part of your life together. You are to eat bread made without yeast for seven days. On the first day get rid of any yeast you find in your house. Anyone who eats bread made with yeast during the seven festival days must be cut off from the rest of Israel. On the first day of the festival and again on the seventh, gather the community together for a time of sacred worship. No one may work on those two days except to prepare what every person needs to eat. Celebrate the Feast of Unleavened Bread because it commemorates the day that I led your forces out of Egypt. Honor and celebrate this day throughout all your generations as a perpetual ordinance, a permanent part of your life together. From the evening of the fourteenth day of that first month to the evening of the twenty-first day of that month, eat bread made without yeast. No yeast is to be found in any of your houses during the seven festival days. Whoever eats anything that has yeast in it must be cut off from the community of Israel. It doesn’t matter whether he is a foreigner or a native; the same standards apply. During the seven festival days, do not eat anything made with yeast; wherever you live and gather together, be sure you eat only unleavened bread.

Then Moses called all of Israel’s elders together and gave them instructions.

Moses: Go and pick out lambs for each of your families, and then slaughter your family’s Passover lamb. Take a handful of hyssop branches, dip them down into the bowl of blood you drained from the sacrifice, and mark the top of the doorway and the two doorposts with blood from the bowl. After you do this, no one should go out that door until the next morning.

The Eternal will pass through the land during the night and bring death to the Egyptians. But when He sees the blood-markings across the tops of your doorways and down your two doorposts, He will pass over your houses and not allow His messenger of death to enter into your houses and strike you down. You and all your descendants are obligated to keep these instructions for all time. Even after you arrive in the land the Eternal has promised you—the land flowing with milk and honey—you must keep these instructions and perform this ritual. When your children ask you, “What does this ritual mean to you?” you will answer them, “It is the Passover sacrifice to the Eternal, for He passed over the houses of the Israelites when we were slaves in Egypt. And although He struck the Egyptians, He spared our lives and our houses.”

When Moses finished these instructions, the people bowed down and worshiped.

The Israelites went and did as they were instructed; they were obedient to what the Eternal had commanded Moses and Aaron.

Now this is what happened: at midnight, He struck down all the firstborn sons in Egypt—from the firstborn son of Pharaoh, who sat on his throne, to the firstborn son of the prisoners locked in the dungeon, and even the firstborn of all the livestock in the land. Pharaoh woke up during the night. He wasn’t the only one. His servants, as well as all of the Egyptians in the land, had awoken. A great scream shattered the night in Egypt, for there was not a single Egyptian house where someone was not dead.

Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron before the night was over.

Pharaoh (to Moses and Aaron): Get up and get out. Leave my people right now—you and all the rest of the Israelites. Go and worship this god of yours, the Eternal One, just as you have said. Take your flocks and your herds as well with you—just as you said—and go! But bless me on your way out!

The Egyptians frantically urged the people of Israel to hurry and leave their land.

Egyptians (imploring): If you do not leave soon, we will all be dead.

So the Israelites hurried. They took their bread dough before any yeast had been added, packed up their kneading bowls, wrapped them in some of their clothing, and carried them on their shoulders.

The people of Israel also did what Moses had told them to do; they asked the Egyptians for items made of silver and gold, and they asked for extra clothing as well. The Eternal caused the Egyptians to have a favorable attitude toward His people, so the Egyptians fulfilled these requests and gave the people what they asked for. This is how the Israelites stripped the Egyptians of their valued possessions.

The Israelites left and traveled from Rameses to Succoth. There were about 600,000 men, plus all the women and children. Another crowd, made up of various and sundry peoples, accompanied them, as well as herds, flocks, and a great number of livestock. They baked flat bread along the way from the dough without yeast which they carried with them from Egypt. The dough had no yeast because the people had been rushed out of Egypt, and they did not have enough time to gather food supplies for themselves.

The Israelites had lived in the land of Egypt for a total of 430 years. On the last day of their 430th year, all the forces belonging to the Eternal left the land of Egypt. This was the night when the Eternal kept watch over His people and brought them safely out of the land of Egypt; now this night is to be kept by His people, to be celebrated by all of the people of Israel throughout all generations.

Eternal One (to Moses and Aaron): This is the requirement for Passover: no foreigner or outsider should eat this meal. But every slave bought with money may participate in this celebration if he has been initiated into the community by circumcision. No temporary residents or paid servants may share in it. The meal must be eaten in only one house. Don’t take any of the meat outside. Not one of the lamb’s bones shall be broken. The entire community of Israel must celebrate it. If you have outsiders living among you and they want to celebrate the Passover to the Eternal with you, then all the men must agree to be circumcised. Only after circumcision may they join in and celebrate with you; then you must treat them as if they were native-born. But make sure no uncircumcised male eats any part of the sacred meal. The same instruction applies to everyone equally—without distinction—the native as well as the outsider who is living among you.

Then all of the Israelites did exactly as the Eternal had instructed Moses and Aaron to do. On that same day, He led the Israelites as they marched out of the land of Egypt like an army.

The Book of Exodus, Chapter 12 (The Voice)

A set of notes from The Voice translation:

Perhaps the best way to look at the confrontation between Moses and Pharaoh is as a contest to see who truly is God. In Egypt Pharaoh is considered a god. He has certain powers and abilities, and the might of Egypt resides with him. When Moses and Aaron appear before him to demand the release of the Hebrew slaves, each refusal becomes an occasion for the True God to demonstrate His superiority over Pharaoh and all the other gods of Egypt. Each successive miracle attacks deeper into the heart of Pharaoh’s power and politics. Slowly but surely, Pharaoh’s power is subverted until God breaks Pharaoh’s grip on the people of Israel completely. With the final miracle everything begins to unravel: the death of the firstborn is personal for Pharaoh.

•

For many years the Egyptians stripped the people of Israel of their lives, labor, and dignity. God’s justice demands that Israel be paid for all they lost.

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for friday, may 3 of 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New) of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about being made One with Love:

Most of our deepest anxieties come from the fear of death, whether we are conscious of this or not... Death represents fear of the unknown, fear of being abandoned, fear of being rejected, fear of being separated from others, and so on. I am so glad Yeshua gives us eternal life, which for me is not so much about immortality of the soul as it is being loved and accepted by God... That is what "at-one-ment" means, after all (John 17:22-23). Because God loves and accepts us, we trust Him to be present for us, even in the darkest of hours, on the other side of the veil, where he there “prepares a place for us” (John 14:2). As Yeshua said, "I tell you the solemn truth, the one who hears my message and believes the One who sent me has eternal life (חַיֵּי עוֹלָם) and will not be condemned, but has passed (i.e., μετά + βαίνω, lit., "crossed over" [עָבַר]) from death to life" (John 5:24). God's love “crosses over” from death to life and now forever sustains me.

Our Torah reading for this week (Acharei Mot) provides details about Yom Kippur, or the "Day of Atonement," a special service that gave ritual expression of God's love by making purification for our sins. As I’ve explained before, the word for love (i.e., ahavah: אהבה) equals the number thirteen (1+5+2+5=13), but when shared it is multiplied: 13 x 2 = 26, which is the same value for the Sacred Name (יהוה), i.e., (10+5+6+5=26). Likewise the Hebrew word for "life" is chayim (חַיִּים), is written in the plural to emphasize that life cannot be lived alone but must be shared. Notice that within the word itself are embedded two consecutive Yods (יי), representing unity in plurality (Yod-Yod is an abbreviation for YHVH, also indicating the “deep Akedah” of Father and Son). God gave up His life so that we can be in relationship with Him, that is, so that we can be "at-one" with His heart for us. Whatever else it may mean, then, the Hebrew word for “atonement” (i.e., kapparah, “covering,” “protection,” “purification,” “forgiveness”) is about accepting God’s heart for you - being unified in his love - and if you miss that, you’ve missed the point of the Torah's teaching....

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Psalm 118:17 reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm118-17-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm118-17-lesson.pdf

5.3.24 • Facebook

from yesterday’s email by Israel365:

For many centuries, the majority of Christians believed exactly this mistake, that God had ended His covenant with Israel. The nation of Israel does not deny the gravity of our betrayal of God. We sinned. And our exile and suffering are well-deserved. But we also never stopped believing and knowing that God would redeem us from exile and gather us back to our land, not for our sake, but for the sake of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. And that covenant is forever.

God’s promises to the Jewish people are eternal, not because they are earned or deserved, but because God’s promises to the patriarchs are irrevocable. Those theologians who mistakenly thought that God had forsaken Israel fell into the mistake predicted by Moses.

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

May 3, 2024

Redeeming the Time

“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15-16)

This incisive expression—“redeeming the time”—occurs also in Colossians 4:5: “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.” The Greek word for “redeem” means to “buy back,” to “ransom,” or even to “rescue.” That is, time is a very valuable asset in danger of being lost forever unless it is rescued or redeemed.

As a matter of fact, time is just about the most valuable asset we have. If we squander our money or lose our health, there is always the possibility of earning more money or being restored to health, but wasted time is gone forever. In our text, those who are wise redeem the time, whereas those who are fools waste or misuse it. The word in the original for “circumspectly” is translated “diligently” in Matthew 2:7. The text thus indicates that those who redeem the time are walking diligently; the parallel passage in Colossians 4:5 says they are walking in wisdom. The time God gives us, therefore, should be used both carefully and diligently.

The marvelous passage in the 139th Psalm that describes the growth of the human embryo concludes with a remarkable declaration: “In thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:16). The words “my members” are not in the original, and “in continuance” is actually the Hebrew word for “days.” Thus, the verse is really telling us that all of our days were written in God’s book even before we were conceived. Each day of our lives is vitally important in the plan of God.

“So,” as Moses prayed to the Lord, “teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). HMM

[wolint]

DON'T BE FRUSTRATED

DON’T BE FRUSTRATED

Isaiah 41:10

 

Frustration is the feeling of defeat, disappointment and ineffectiveness that serves no purpose, it’s being upset or annoyed at being unable to change or achieve a set goal.

Frustration occurs in the absence of progress, success, or fulfilment of something desired.

There are all kinds of frustrations in life, people everywhere in life are frustrated daily by one thing or another with no exception. Frustration can leave us feeling crippled, defeated, disappointed, dissatisfied, and empty.

Imagine how frustrated Moses was with the Israelites in Exodus 17 to plead with the Lord with such a heartfelt cry in verse 4.

Anointing is not a deterrent to frustration, after all, Moses was anointed to lead God’s people.

Life is generally frustrating, but our text says not to be dismayed no matter how frustrating it gets because God’s hand is always prepared to uphold us.

Frustration can be very confusing, and I get that, it makes one feel so close yet so far away and empties one of the pleasures and joys of life.

We get frustrated sometimes even in our prayers, we feel like we’ve been praying for a long time for something, yet it feels like an eternity to expect answers to our prayer at certain times that never come, see James 4:3.

Joshua told the children of Israel in Joshua 1:9 that the Lord will always be with them, so, there was no reason for them to be discouraged. The Lord has given us a source of strength and courage to see us through frustrating situations.

Who else but Job can teach us the much-needed lesson on frustration 101. Job’s frustration was over the Richter scale known to man, enough for him to disdain and curse his birthday in Job 10:13-22. Pain and suffering will always birth frustration, how we react, handle, and come out of it is dependent on who and what we trust in, ourselves, other things, and people or on God, according to Psalm 20:7?

When Moses’ mother could no longer hide him, she got a little basket made of papyrus reeds and waterproofed it with tar and pitch and put her baby in it and laid it among the reeds along the edge of the Nile River in Exodus 2:3 instead of getting frustrated.

When we recognise that some of our problems, if not all have no human solution, we will quickly learn to take them to the Lord, rather than try to solve them ourselves. We must give our frustrations to the Lord as only He can help us says 1 Peter 5:7.

We become tunnel vision when we are too close to a situation, and fail to see the big God we have, instead we focus on the huge problem.

Despite our discouragement, pain and sins, God loves us, He made a promise, and has great plans for us! You know, God could have said after Adam and Eve sinned, “I am done with you human beings!” or to you and me “I am done with you,” but instead He offers us solutions, love, mercy, and compassion to see us through frustrating seasons, see Isaiah 43:1-5.

We wake up daily with some form of frustration and wonder how we’ll hold out till the end of the day without breaking down or giving up? Fear not! Look up to the one whose peace passes all human understanding to fill and overflow you with peace instead of frustration according to Philippians 4:7.

Don’t allow frustration to eat you up and steal your joy, instead let the word of God swallow up frustration and the joy of the Lord strengthen you.

PRAYER: Lord, help me to never doubt you but to remember that you want only the very best for me. Help me not to become frustrated with life in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT PRAYER MIN.

[mortalitys-shadow]

Life is full of ups and downs, relationships are never spared that. Heart breaks have even happened with Hubby and I. Each time we are given the chance to love each other despite our failures and pain we grow nearer. Love is a choice, when you think a relationship is coming to an end don't lose heart. There are types of abuse that are inexcusable so I don't mean to tolerate being treated poorly. But we are all human, we have chapters where we are going through too much pain or stress to keep up. There are times our pain ends up affecting those we love, we snap at them, or become distant... Take good care of yourself so you can be the best version of yourself, encourage your love to do the same. Don't put them down for their pain... And also sometimes we are all a little immature. Everyone is different and what environment will help us grow will vary, though God should always be at the center of it...

God really is the best teacher, praying to Him for salvation, for help to walk the right path, it's the most important thing to do in your life. He has helped me a lot. I didn't have a lot of examples growing up, so I prayed and read the Bible to learn what kind of wife God wants me to be... I'm still on that journey and I will be until my last breath... And I am glad... I will be learning to be my best self in God's eyes, and in that I will be the best wife I can be based on God's standards for my life...

Sometimes no matter how hard we try, people aren't happy with us, sometimes it's because of our own mistakes because we are human. It's important to look to God for His approval above a humans... If you're asked to go against your moral compass then turn your eyes to God in prayer, if someone abandons or hurts you for following God above man, though it hurts, you will be blessed. That doesn't mean to purposely push people away using faith as a battering ram, God loves that person you are interacting with. As Christians we are His representatives, ask yourself, how did Jesus act and respond during His time on earth? He set an example for us to follow.

There was a chapter my hubby wanted me to do things I was afraid were wrong. I prayed a lot, I tried to trust God for the answers.. if I doubted again I would pray again. It's okay to turn to God for answers, He is the source of truth. Over time and prayer I slowly figured out between me and God what was okay and not okay. Standing firm when Hubby would try to convince me one way or the other was hard, it's important to hear someone out respectfully, but always take it to God in prayer and go off of what God tells you, not a human. My relationship with Hubby changed when I started choosing God above him... It taught me to not blindly follow and obey out of fear of losing someone... I thought He would divorce me for not being willing to do certain things, and when he didn't... The fear subsided quite a bit... I found freedom in it. My moral compass will always be under construction as I learn and grow but I'm safe... And if someone rejects me for my walk with God, if I've truly done my best to do no harm while standing firm with God as my leader, well, I will be blessed for anything and anyone I lose. That doesn't mean it won't hurt, but it will be worth the pain... Just as living the message God wants us to see and hear will be worth it.

I am very far from perfect. I fail several times a day in some way... I look at my daily life and I see a lot that I can be doing better. Remember to have mercy on yourself and others... We are always going to be learning and improving ourselves. God's the only one that can really bring us to our best self. Remember our walk with God is the most important thing in life, our life will align to the right path with our eyes on God. We will perform better in life and our relationships with God at its center. Don't lose sight.

Remember that worries of this world are like crashing waves. When a disciple stepped out onto the stormy water his eyes were on Jesus, but when he looked away he became afraid, his faith faltered... He could have walked all the way to Jesus and stood with him, nothing but his own faltering attention span and faith kept him from that.

I deal with intrusive thoughts, God has helped me a lot to not be so afraid of them. I had horrible nightmares until I learned to pray even in my dreams lol. God's will and plan can be difficult to figure out. Don't think He doesn't hear you just because He answers in His own perfect way.

Sometimes we are like a dog begging for the boiling water cooking on the stove thinking it's full of goodies, we don't really know what we ask sometimes. God knows all that we need though and He will provide everything we need to live the life He wants us to live.

Note to self, I really need to spend more time in the bible. My job changed, originally I was able to listen to the bible while I worked but I can't anymore. It makes it harder to make time for it. Audio bibles are amazing, I need to get into the routine of cleaning every day and listening to the bible. Or hey listening to the bible while doing a hobby like painting, or even playing video games.... It is true though that the more we listen the more we will learn from the bible. Simply making a few minutes to read just a few verses and really think about them throughout the day may do more in our hearts.

Have an awesome blessed day everyone. Remember God has no favorites, He searches for the lost and rejoices more over the one lost returning to Him than those that were never lost. He loves you. He is calling out to you. Hear Him, reach out to Him and He will answer.

Faith the size of a mustard seed... To reach out to Him in the first place you surely have some amount of faith that He might be there... He is there... He is waiting for you. He will answer you... Don't stop reaching for Him, seek and you will find. The desire to seek Him, is Him calling you by name.

[thrivingwithourhearts]

Overcoming Rejection

This writing from Joyce Meyer's Daily Devotions from Psalms was a great reminder. Over the last 7 days I have suffered through rejection wondering just who in the world I am? Harsh words and actions bring me down. I have to be reminded that there is a God who loves me dearly despite how the world may treat me.

The Best Way To Overcome Rejection

Psalm 27:10 says, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up."

"The psalmist writes of an extremely painful type of rejection---abandonment by a father and mother. Rejection of any kind, by any person, can cause a person to feel sad, hopeless, and even depressed.

To be rejected means to be cast aside, to be thrown away as having no value, or to be unwanted and ignored. Human beings are created for love and acceptance, not for rejection, and the emotional pain of rejection is one of the deepest wounds a person can suffer. The closer we to the person who rejects us, the deeper the hurt.

Overcoming rejection is not easy. It does take time, but it is possible through the love of God. Receiving His love is the best way to break free from the pain inflicted when people reject you.

God never rejects us but accepts us completely and loves us unconditionally in Christ. The apostle Paul prays for believers in Ephesians 3:17-19 that we will be "rooted and established in love" and have the "power...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge."

Let me encourage you to be looking for all the ways God shows His love to you.ll He does this through various means, and if you ask Him to help you recognize His love, you will soon begin to see it all around you. The revelation and understanding of God's love for you will heal any rejection you have experienced."

#God's love