#I am objectively correct about this

[withasideofshakespeare]

Transfemme Ferdinand (The Tempest) NOW

[noirandchocolate]

Age of Calamity is such a funny game when you think about it because most of the characters go through Events and use their strengths and suffer hardships and stuff, but honestly they mostly end the game the same as they started it. It’s not “bad storytelling” or anything to have most of the main characters (Link, the Champions, Impa, etc) not change very much character-growth wise, I’m not insinuating that. They’re heroes and it’s fun to watch them BE heroes and in some cases have nice heartfelt moments together, etc.

But it’s just hilarious to me that the characters in the game who DO get some form of character development arc are:

3. King Rhoam (a distant third place but he does realize his kid’s interests were helpful not frivolous and he apologizes and lets her continue leading the army and fights by her side)

2. Zelda (expected, she is the main character after all, and she gets to grow from doubting herself based on her father’s words and how special and talented everyone around her seems to be in comparison, and being upset at not being able to help more, to realizing her worth as a capable leader whose love and passions were what saved everyone)

1. MASTER FUCKIN KOHGA (goes from trying to peace out and let his lackeys take care of every fight, to desperately NOT wanting to leave Sooga and the others behind (poorly and obviously hiding it behind “come on stick together so you can protect me!” while he as the PC for your first play of that mission is clearly doing all the work to protect them); ends up not only joining Zelda’s faction to protect/get revenge for his Clan despite his hereditary beef with the royal family, but PERSONALLY taking to the battlefield including in the final deadly dangerous missions; declares during that final battle that HE is gonna “send that giant menace packing,” ie the very same monstrous entity he previously served)

Like. It’s not even close. Master “Top Banana” “Kill You All To Death” Kohga. Has THE most character development in the game.

And it’s just. So unexpected and therefore great and entertaining to me.

[whatcircleofhellaretheygoingto]

meeeee ;3 (artificer rainworld)

[littlesparklight]

The way that, when it comes to the Judgement itself, what the ancient Greek writers were saying Paris did wrong isn't that he chose the objectively wrong goddess. For the first, it's of course that he was bribed (let's ignore that he did not ask for anything and each goddess on their own offers a gift; choosing a goddess then becomes choosing a bribe/gift).

For the second; there is in fact a couple sources that, in arguing that the very idea of the Judgement is silly, basically points out that the other two goddesses wouldn't have competed with Aphrodite in beauty [because they wouldn't care/she is the objectively correct winner in such a contest].

It's not even that he chooses wrong because another option would definitely not lead to Troy destroyed and so many people dead.

(Which it would. Hera's gift assures the destruction of Troy's royal house, at the least, and Athena's with war... well. People die in war. Cities get attacked and sacked in war. Why would Troy be spared?)

It's that Paris chooses the unmanly option.

As a man, he shouldn't prioritize a relationship/marriage, and certainly not sex; that shows a lack of (manly) self-control over his body and urges. As a man, he should want/should be dedicating himself either to war or kingship, among the gifts/bribes the goddesses offer. As a man, it doesn't matter that not choosing Aphrodite c/would be objectively wrong; by what they offer only either Athena or Hera are the "right" options in the view of Ancient Greek social mores.

The goddesses' individual beauty does not matter in terms of "correctness" of Paris' choice.

That Troy (and others) are equally doomed no matter which goddess chosen doesn't matter in terms of "correctness" of Paris' choice.

The only thing that matters (again, aside from complaints of judicial corruption when the judge also cannot refuse the gifts involved), is that Paris confers the prize to the goddess offering him the unmanly gift/life option/what have you.

Like Blondell phrases it, Paris' affirms who/what he already is (effeminate) by choosing who he will henceforth be (sex/love-oriented, that is, effeminate) though awarding Aphrodite the apple.

[cloysterbell]

charliespring requested: favorite episode of each season

[lu-sn]

Rank the VegasPete kisses 😈

suz i stg this ask is gonna get me super mega cancelled. when you find my mangled body in a decrepit alleyway tell my family i loved them

-

6. i love you, pete.

listen, no okay, LISTEN, put down your pitchforks, this is an s-tier kiss okay, i know!!!!! I KNOW BUT EVERY VEGASPETE KISS IS INSANE!!!! SOMETHING HAS TO BE AT THE BOTTOM

i did and still do think it's a lil cray cray of vegas to say he's in love with pete like ten days after dicking him down, but the blood-streaked mouths and vegas's devastated face as he pushes pete away afterwards sure do make up for it

5. you must suffer until i'm satisfied

the thing that gets me about this one is the total lack of artifice on vegas's part. despite every touch of his before this having been part of a long, cruel, twisted performance, this one is so gentle. so unassuming. a gift, more than anything else.

the conversation after is critical to their relationship, and i'm not sure pete would have wanted to open himself up like that without this kiss as proof of vegas's... sincerity? vegas isn't playing a game anymore — and pete can finally stop playing too.

4. psycho

head in hands!!! i can't believe this isn't in the top 3 someone send me to jail rn

i don't need to talk about this yall Know. third eye opened brain chemistry rewired brainrot permanently acquired "you like me like this" "i know exactly what i want" the way their hands paw at each other the way vegas smiles the way pete's KNEES GO WEAK I'M FOREVER SCREAMING

3. you're the most important person in my life

ugly sobbing in the gutter they trust each other they cherish each other they're going to work so hard to stay together they're coming together as EQUALS in the LIGHT AFTER THE STORM I'M—

it's the way they cradle each other's faces in their hands, okay. it's the unbearable tenderness, and it's the promises they're making to each other!!! that shit just gets me real bad 😭

2. (we only kiss people we like)

their entire sex scene is characterized by an unexpected, intense tenderness, and this last kiss is really the nail in the coffin for me. the way pete is leaning up into this, chasing vegas's mouth — the way vegas is so unbelievably soft as he presses himself into pete — the space they've carved out together in the darkness for this moment of startling intimacy — something has changed here, in both of them. and it's going to be their undoing.

1. i need you, pete.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME I WILL DIE ON MY LITTLE HILL THIS IS THE BEST KISS IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. SCREENSHOTS DO NOT DO IT JUSTICE. vegas is TREMBLING into this kiss he is TERRIFIED he's made an awful awful mistake and he's about to lose the best thing he's ever had he is CLINGING TO PETE trying to press all of his monstrous love into pete's skin i'm so sorry i didn't mean it i need you i will worship you look at how gentle i can be with you? look at how desperately i want to cherish you please please pete don't leave me MY GOD I AM CHEWING ON THE WALLS IT HURTS SO GOOD

and pete is so vulnerable to this kind of touch. he's shaking too, he's gasping and sobbing and almost can't believe what he's about to do in return. pete intends for this to be their last kiss — and vegas has no idea.

[ghostinthegallery]

Actually criminal that Szeras has that one super long index finger, perfectly engineered for the "villain homoerotically strokes the side of someone's face" maneuver and as far as I know, he's literally never done that. What the hell? James Workshop, this is homophobia against me specifically

[sigmaleph]

i am once again mad about translation convention

actually i was mad about translation convention several weeks ago but i left a note to myself to post about it in my drafts later. and later is now

i have made my opinions on translation convention in secondary-world fiction clear already, i think it's very silly to model characters in a fantasy universe as actually talking in english rather than talking in whatever fantasy language and their words being translated for convenience, other people are wrong disagree with me about it, etc.

but there's an even worse variation of people failing to think about their translation conventions i've been reminded of, and it's 'everyone speaks english in france'.

by which i mean. you are writing a book (or making a movie, etc), set in france (or some other real-world country where most people speak some other language), but for an english-speaking audience. you write the dialogue in english, obviously, because that's what your readers understand. so you have a bunch of french people talking in english to each other, which is fine, because that's what translation convention is for. obviously we all know that in france, most people speak in french to one another, but we can all agree that the french is being rendered as english for the audience

and then. and then, like an asshole trying to show off, you drop a fucking bonjour or something in the middle of dialogue, throwing off the entire notion that there was a translation convention going on. because 'random french in the middle of an english sentence' does not correspond to anything under a translation convention that renders french as english, and so can only be parsed as the french word being the only thing that was said in french in this conversation between native french speakers

why does this keep happening!

(also, why is it always french. it's not always french of course but ime it is specifically french a disproportionate amount of time)

[worldsokayestdragon]

Original flavor Dublith Greed is babygirl. Greedling is blorbo(really double blorbo, 2 blorbos for the price of one). Colonel Roy Mustang is the poorest little meow meow. Follow for more flawless character classifications!

[yawpyawp]

i just read the ASD report that the guy did and he literally misinterpreted 80% of what i said to him? some of the stuff in there (like medical history and background stuff) is fully FACTUALLY INCORRECT

anyway, i'm systematically going through the report pointing out what's inaccurate, which imho is a pretty autistic response, although i may also be a psychopath bc i have a compulsion to make this poor dude bend to my will

[aeipathism]

the most painful variety of masking for me is repressing my inner pedant and ‘um, actually’ bc i’m sitting there containing indescribable rage bc someone is a little wrong about a minor detail and i KNOW it’s just me being mentally ill and unreasonable

i store so much ultimately useless information in my brain and i’m always a second away from infodumping all of it so watching someone Be Wrong is excruciating. and i’m SO brave about it

[short-wooloo]

Ahsoka season 2 (or mando season 4, or Book of Boba Fett season 2, or whatever the fuck half baked show comes next):

Sabine: "Somehow Thrawn Has Returned!"

Senator Xiono: "yeah, you helped him"

Sabine: "we're not sure how this happened-"

Senator Xiono: "you did it because one person mattered more to you than the entire galaxy"

Sabine: "-maybe it was ancient sith magic!"

[niobiumao3]

People can feel free to keep posting their bad takes about Tech/Phee because I just write another 2-3k in a WIP or make a new one in response. If your goal is to up my fic output then gratz you've succeeded!

[invinciblerodent]

if i ever want to re-follow the non-dirty dragon age confession blog, I want someone to please somehow psychically detect that, and come to my house immediately to beat me over the head with the nearest heavy object. like before I could hit the button.

I'm happy that people have an outlet for their thoughts and that it's contained in one place instead of spreading all over the tags, but back them it was making me way too mad. I unfollowed them years and years ago, and for the sake of my mental health, I'm definitely not about to look back.

I just want to enjoy the peer-reviewed confessions reblogged by my dearly beloved mutuals thank you very much

[klanced]

I see where you're coming from, but also blorbo is different to everyone and we all had different experiences. I was in voltron but pidge was my blorbo, not lance, so I rarely saw him. And then I saw Yuuri everywhere whether I wanted to or not. Also, polls are not about accuracy, as much as we might think they should be. Life is a popularity contest. 🩵💙🩵💙🩵

my blorbo rankings contain multitudes. however, i am cognizant enough to recognize two things:

while lance is not my specific blorboest blorbo, i still rank him to be a more iconic blorbo than yuri. and so my vote for lance is still valid.

this poll is about most iconic blorbo. i like keith and allura more than i like lance, but i firmly believe that lance is voltron's most iconic character. i define "iconic" based on the following criteria: a) canon material; b) fandom experience and reaction; and c) impact on outsiders (the "did i see this character everywhere" standard). i heavily value points in the (b) category over points for (a) and (c).

lance's canon material sucks ass. however, the fandom's ability to 1) go crazy over lance anyway, and then 2) ability to extrapolate so heavily, insist on digging so deeply, and create so genuinely is impressive to me. and also incredibly hilarious. this is why i made the toxic iconity argument: i deeply respect the daily battles lance stans fought, both between themselves/the wider voltron fandom, and the constant enduring sisyphus-level uphill battle against the quality of the canon material. lance stans were able to create everything out of veritable nothingness, and i believe that deserves to be commemorated.

[cataclysmcrows]

love making monsters become human is actually something that can be so personal