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wren-kitchens · 2 days ago

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i guess i’m human no more

4732 words

joel is extremely used to the vast amount of feathers he finds in their bed (and his mouth) every morning—going so far as to know which yellow feather is from jimmy's wings or grian's (jimmy's have more brown hues in). joel essentially knows their wings off by heart, and has been teased endlessly after that one time he accidentally revealed this fact to grian. despite all this, there's- there is a bit of a situation. it's- there's a new colour feather.

good LORD this has taken me a while to finish. judas had the incredible idea of watchers/listeners being contagious to people they're emotionally close to in MAY and here I am in december only just finishing the oneshot for it

I did in fact go wild with this one. there are many headcanons and so much bad boys because I love them

CW: body horror, gore

there are too many feathers in their bed.

this is extremely ordinary—in fact, joel would be concerned if there were a normal amount of feathers in their bed, because it would mean that jimmy and grian had just been laying completely still. after sleeping in the same bed as them for a week or so, joel has learnt that this seems to be physically impossible for either of them to do. every single morning, joel has woken up with jimmy and grian sprawled in increasingly unlikely positions on top of him and each other (which is kind of sweet), and at least three feathers in his mouth (which is kind of gross).

that's not even to mention how many feathers they shed when they stretch their wings out. honestly, joel wonders if he should just attach a bin bag to their wings and see just how many feathers they can amass in a single day; it'd be an interesting experiment. although, the most they shed is when they're preening, which- okay, he can no longer get annoyed with them when they leave the piles of fluff on the floor—not since they let him help. now he knows how loopy they get, joel understands why they'd forget to tidy up.

(joel wouldn’t admit this at gunpoint, but he's never felt so.. okay- it's- it will sound silly, but so trusted, than when jimmy suggested joel help, and grian agreed. there are very few things so intimate than preening, as joel has learnt, and the idea that they would ask him for help with something that personal makes his head spin.)

all of this to say, joel is extremely used to the vast amount of feathers he finds in their bed (and his mouth) every morning—going so far as to know which yellow feather is from jimmy's wings or grian's (jimmy's have more brown hues in). joel essentially knows their wings off by heart, and has been teased endlessly after that one time he accidentally revealed this fact to grian.

despite all this, there's- there is a bit of a situation. it's- there's a new colour feather.

it doesn’t sound that weird, but- no one else on the server has wings with the pattern on the feathers joel has started finding, so there's no way it just rubbed off someone else and fell off here. it's a kind of orangey-beige, with dark brown marking; something joel knows is not a pattern on anyone else's wings on this server. it could be a weird glitch, if grian or jimmy have different markings on another server, and at some point their wings lagged or something. yeah, that makes sense.

so much sense, in fact, that joel didn't bother telling grian or jimmy about it—which apparently was about to bite him in the ass.

if joel has to spend one more second trying to be diplomatic with scott, whilst being shot looks that very plainly tell him to chill out, he's going to stab someone. especially as martyn and grian are clearly arguing about something or other in the most roundabout way possible, and jimmy keeps backing grian up. joel has no idea what either of them are actually arguing about, and apparently neither does scott, which is only some consolation. also- not necessarily related to this situation, but joel must have slept funny or something, because his back has been aching all day, which is not adding very much to this experience.

"look- I don’t want you to be my ally any more than you want to be mine," joel says, thoroughly exasperated. "but you and your allies seem to be fundamentally immortal in these games."

scott raises an amused eyebrow, clearly entertained by joel's attempts at formality. dickhead. "so, you’re trying to profit off my skill?"

joel scoffs, stretching his neck in the hopes of lessening some of the pain in his back. "you say that like it's a bad thing. you know, I-"

"no- you’re being ridiculous!" martyn interrupts, half shouting and apparently unaware of the commotion he’s causing. "it's downright irresponsible-"

"and what do you think you’re doing?" grian's wings have puffed up in anger. "you realise that out of everyone you could turn-"

"which is exactly why i’m not going to." martyn insists. joel has no idea what either of them are talking about, but it's better than arguing with scott.

jimmy barks a laugh. "there are more than one reasons you’re wrong there-"

"you can’t talk!" martyn jabs a finger at him. "how would you know-"

"how would I know?" jimmy says, voice slipping from indignation to anger. "how would- do you remember, martyn, who turned me?"

joel's back gives a sharp stab of pain, and he winces at it. maybe he pulled a muscle or something when he was swimming up the side of the mansion with building materials.

scott looks at him. "what are you doing?"

"you- what?" joel glares back instinctively, which scott apparently finds funny. "i’m not doing anything?"

"if you say so." scott turns back to the argument.

joel scoffs, folding his arms- and instantly regrets it as a spasm shoots up his back. void- what did he do to himself? it seems like it's getting worse as the day goes on, which does not happen with muscle strains- as far as he remembers, anyway. scott glances at him again, and joel pretends he hasn't noticed.

" -hen you should know better." martyn's voice is cold, but there's something like regret lacing his tone. joel feels like he’s missed at least five chapters- what are they on about? "you know the risks-"

"you know the risks firsthand, martyn." grian steps forward. "and do you truly think They will take kindly-"

"of course They won't, but it's not going to happen." martyn hisses.

whatever joel has managed to do to himself seems to be worsening by the second- demonstrated by the pounding behind his eyes that seems to have materialised out of nowhere. cool- great, this is exactly what he needs right now: more pain. he closes his eyes for a moment, in the hope that the lack of light might alleviate the throbbing pain. it does not help at all—in fact, it just makes him feel a little unstable, since he can no longer see where he’s stood.

he's- wait, what- did joel open his eyes and not notice? that- no, that's definitely- what the fuck? is the game glitching, or is-

"joel?" scott's voice is uncomfortably close to his ear, and joel's eyes snap open (how the fuck could he still see). "are- what-" (why does scott look scared.)

"you- that's not normal." joel's voice sounds so far away from his body. does he have double vision?

pearl looks over at bigb from where she's been laying upside-down against the wall. she says something that looks like, "I have an idea." but no sound comes out.

maybe he just needs to lie down- it's probably fine. it's just- he has some kind of fever- he just needs to have a nap.

grian is too busy trying to stop both himself and jimmy from attacking martyn to notice that anything is wrong.

someone grabs his arm-

joel lists sideways, and scott manages to catch him on instinct before he completely topples over. his eyes- they've definitely not always been purple.

grian looks over, panic rising in his chest like bile as he realises the worst has happened-

"can- is there-" joel's breath is coming far too quickly- is he even breathing anymore? "I don't-"

someone is grabbing his shoulders, and there are too many faces to even- decipher who it is. he might be on the floor- there's something that could be grass under his hands, and someone is talking- who is talking? joel doesn’t want- he doesn’t like any of this. can he go home?

his mind swims, bursts of colour and movement flashing before him, gone before he even has time to understand what they are. head pounding, faces blur his vision- some he recognises, some he can't even begin to process if they are actually faces by the time they've vanished. people are shouting what might be his name and everything is- there's too much- there's way too much-

amidst the chaos, there's a gentle pressure against his forehead, and all of a sudden-

"I- grian?" joel is- he’s looking at grian. he’s only looking at grian.

grian's eyes are fading from purple back to black, and he looks so worried, joel is almost embarrassed. "i’m- void, i’m so sorry."

joel's chest is tight with fear, and now he isn't dealing with- whatever just happened, he realises that his back has begun to hurt a lot more than it already was. "what- what the fuck was that."

"it- that was my fault." grian drops his hands from joel's shoulders, and joel immediately misses the warmth, but he’s too focused on how guilty grian looks right now. "i’m- I was reckless- I knew what might happen, but I-"

"what happened?" joel says, almost exasperated. his back is killing him, and he doesn't know what's going on, and he just wants to go back to the mansion and curl up in their bed. "I don't- I don't care whose fault it is, I just- what was that?"

grian looks like he might cry, and that might just be the worst part of all of this. "you- so. you know what I am, right?"

"I- yeah?" joel remembers suddenly that scott and martyn are still here. "I- I know."

"well, that- if I get.. too close to someone, they-" grian's breath catches in his throat, and he coughs. joel wants to hug him, but- even the thought of lifting his arms that high makes his stomach turn. why does everything hurt so much? "it. it happens to them, too."

joel stares for a second, brain sluggish against the pain and overwhelm as he tries to understand what grian actually means. it takes a moment, but it begins to dawn on him. "you're saying- no, that wasn't-" he looks over at jimmy, half expecting to find him grinning. he is more solemn than joel has ever seen him. "that can't be- possible, I don't-"

"what did you see?" jimmy asks, and this is ludicrous, but-

"pearl and bigb." joel's head feels foggy, his spine burning at his flesh. "I- me, but, from scott's point of view. and my eyes were- wrong, I don't-" he takes a breath. "why did you not tell me?"

"selfishness, mostly." grian says softly. "there's no excuse."

"what- I just don't-" joel's breath is starting to feel laboured again as he tries to concentrate on his words and not how it feels as if his back is being sliced open. "why does it hurt?" his voice slips into something so vulnerable, joel is almost thankful that he’s too distracted to care that scott is right behind him.

for the first time, confusion flits across grian's expression, coupled with a concerning amount of panic. "I- hurt? what hurts?"

before joel can remember how to string the words together, scott is saying, "I- joel, take your jacket off."

grian looks as confused as joel feels, but scott sounds weirdly serious and joel is in too much pain to argue. "it- I can’t. it hurts to move."

"what's going on?" jimmy says, closer than he was a second ago.

"I would have thought you'd know." scott is saying, and joel is about to accept his fate and hit him when he finishes- "he’s growing wings."

there's a moment in which all joel can think is that he probably should have mentioned those feathers he kept finding in their bed, until there's a resounding squawk of- "what?"

"makes sense." joel grits out, if only because the juxtaposition is funny. if joel can’t commit to the bit in any situation, who even is he? "don't- don't suppose you have potions?"

"martyn, can you grab a golden apple?" scott says, stepping in front of joel—who is not happy that his best bet right now is scott smajor. he’s not so stubborn as to not accept his help though. "grian, help him take the jacket off. cut it off if needs-"

"you are- you are not ruining my jacket." joel manages to look up in order to glare at scott, but he falters as he takes in how concerned scott's expression is. scott notices him looking, and his face turns blank.

"fine- take the jacket off then, or it will get ruined." scott scoffs, turning away to watch martyn grab the apple.

"can you- are you gonna explain what is going on?" grian says, somewhat more desperate than joel thinks he meant to sound. "how is- why is this-"

a spasm of pain wracks joel's body, and he suppresses a scream as he falls forward on his arms, shaking a little. his breathing is heavy again- he just wants it to be over.

"if I die," joel manages, head swimming. "will- can I just-" he can’t muster up the energy to finish the sentence, but the desperation in it seems to be conveyed. can it just be over?

"I don’t know." scott says, and despite it all, the helplessness in his voice brings joel some sense of vindication. so he doesn’t know everything.

"okay, i’m- i’m gonna take your jacket off." grian says, more panicked than joel knows he wants to sound. "can you- is that possible?"

joel lets grian move around him, barely lifting each arm as grian guides the sleeve of the jacket off his shoulders. as soon as the first sleeve comes off, joel finds himself relaxing ever so slightly at the lack of pressure against his spine. he should probably make that vest bigger.

"why- why is this-" joel can barely manage half of that sentence before the pain becomes too much, but scott seems to understand what he was trying to ask.

"i don't- i’m not sure." scott says, more panicked than joel thinks he’s heard him in a long while. "I just- this kind of thing happened to me in double life, but I still don't understand-"

"oh void." grian says suddenly, and joel has to resist the impulse to turn his head. "I thought i’d- it shouldn't be possible anymore-"

"what shouldn't be possible?" jimmy says, with a sense of urgency joel has never heard from him before.

grian hesitates for a moment, and joel recognises it—grian always does this when he's about to say something either bizarre or embarrassing. or both, more often than not. "the game- it thinks we're soulbound."

there's a pause as everyone seems to process this ridiculous information, before jimmy says, "it- but why does it hurt? tango grew wings in double life, and he didn't even notice until his shirt got torn."

"there's- it's a.. thing." grian audibly winces as he speaks, as if he knows exactly how terrible whatever he’s going to say will sound and is preemptively apologetic. of course. "the closer soulmates are—like, emotionally close, I mean—the less painful it is- and vice versa. but- the game thinks we're soulmates, which. I assume is- is 'cause we're close. so since we're not actually soulbound-"

"it thinks that must be distance." scott realises. joel is gonna murder someone once he regains the use of his body.

joel groans, dropping his head to the ground in exhausted exasperation. "why's everything so.. weirdwith you?" he manages.

"i’m so sorry." grian says, voice quiet enough that joel thinks only he was meant to hear it.

joel is about to tell him not to worry about it when a kind of pain he’s never felt before in his life shoots through his back- and the ripping of flesh is all he can hear, a scream forcing its way from his mouth- primeval and torturous. he’s never felt pain before- he’s never felt death before- there can be nothing worse than this.

it feels like years until joel realises that he is beginning to see shapes again, that there are other noises in the world other than his own whimpers of agony, that the terrible tearing is not all he can feel anymore. there's something that feels like a viscous kind of liquid against his skin, and a sickly sweet smell that he can’t quite name. healing potion, joel recognises as the pain begins to lessen.

after a long moment, joel finds himself able to push himself into a sitting position- and almost falls backwards as newfound weight pulls him down again. jimmy is in front of him all of a sudden, catching his shoulders and wiping something wet off his face. it could be tears, or blood, or potion—joel has no idea.

"you- you with us?" jimmy asks, a scared-looking smile on his face, as if trying to reassure joel of something he can't bring himself to trust. "you’re not- you’re feeling better?"

joel nods, suddenly exhausted and more thankful than he realised for the warmth of jimmy's hands against his arms. "you- you guys are such nerds."

jimmy grins, looking ridiculously relieved at being insulted, and there's a soft laugh from next to him that sounds like grian. "yeah?" jimmy says. "how's that?"

"not- not sure if I misheard, but." joel takes a breath, and jimmy squeezes his arm gently. "'think you care about me so much that the game thinks we're soulmates. and you- you turned me into a watcher, or something." joel manages a grin.

"yeah. you heard right." jimmy says, and there's a rush of affection in joel's chest. "I- do you want to lie down or something, 'cause you look like you’re about to pass out."

joel answers by shuffling slowly forwards and falling onto jimmy—far too tired and in far too much pain to let the embarrassment stop him. jimmy gives a slight gasp of worry, before wrapping his arms around joel's waist, lower than joel expected him to. it takes a second for him to remember that- he has wings now, which are probably in the way of normal hugs. jimmy presses a kiss into joel's hair, and he makes a soft sound of content.

"sorry I took so long." martyn's voice comes from somewhere behind him, more nervous than joel thinks he’s heard him in a while. man, he should grow wings more often if it makes everyone this scared. how's that for a trap? "we didn’t- I wasn't sure you’d be able to eat the apple-"

martyn's explanation is reduced to white noise in joel's ears, and- void, he’s tired. jimmy's heartbeat is audible from where joel is leant against him, and he can almost feel the way his own heart stutters to catch up; he wonders if grian's heart is at the same pace, with whatever this bizarre game has done to deign them unofficial soulmates. he wishes he had enough energy to pull grian into their hug and see for himself if their hearts all beat in unison now.

something occurs to him all of a sudden, and joel closes his eyes. he isn’t sure- and now probably is the worst time to try this kind of thing out, when he has no idea how any of it works, but maybe he can.. do something with this whole watcher thing.

joel feels as if he’s trying to use a muscle that doesn’t exist—like some kind of phantom limb—but after a moment, grian's face comes into view. it's easier than he thought it'd be. almost like controlling a timelapse drone, but with your mind, and also the video is directly transmitted into your brain. it's pretty cool.

there's a stab of regret as joel stops congratulating himself on such a good job, and actually takes in the amount of guilt etched into every line of grian's face. his stomach drops as he turns (kind of? he sorta- uh. hard to explain, actually) and sees that jimmy is wearing a painfully similar expression. almost scared to see, joel looks at martyn and scott, and is at least vaguely reassured to see that they just look worried. frankly, if joel ever saw scott looking guilty because of joel, he'd have to end his own series.

"it- it's not your fault y'know." joel manages—more of a mumble than anything else, but grian and jimmy both seem to know he’s talking to them. "'s kinda cool. I should probably thank you."

grian is looking at him- or, maybe his.. watcher drone? either way, he seems to know he’s being looked at. "I am sorry, either way." he says, but he doesn’t look as devastated as he did a moment ago. "I didn’t- I should have told you what could happen."

joel snorts. "if you thought I was about to turn down cool powers and wings, you don’t know me well enough." he finds that it's getting somehow easier to speak, despite being exhausted, and he remembers the healing potion still travelling through his veins. he never thought he'd be this thankful for martyn- probably ever.

grian smiles, and it feels as if a knot in joel's chest has dissipated. "you’re definitely getting the hang of it."

jimmy hums in agreement. "it's not called a drone though." he says, and it very suddenly occurs to joel what a listener must be able to do. "I- did you not already know?"

"how was I meant to?" joel huffs, watching with slight embarrassment as jimmy smiles at it. "you’re a secretive lot."

"so- and I hate to disrupt this," scott suddenly says, and joel suppresses an instinctive groan. "but do you need any more help?"

there's a mischievous kind of look that flashes across grian's face, if only for a second, and joel can't help but feel reassured by the fact that he's getting back to normal. "well- we could use a couple allies?"

scott sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can’t really turn you down now, can I?" he says, and there's a weird kind of tone that makes joel wonder if he’s actually as annoyed as he’s putting on.

"I just grew wings." joel mumbles, unintentionally quiet but apparently effectively sympathetic, as even martyn seems to be swayed. look at him go. "'can’t just.. throw us to the wolves now."

scott rubs his face with a hand, clearly throughly exasperated at how easily he has been won over. "yeah- okay, fine. we can be allies."

"thanks." jimmy grins a little, and joel watches as scott softens ever so slightly at it.

joel opens his eyes, and he’s once again staring into the coral reef, facing away from everyone else. jimmy's hand is in his hair, and his back is only aching now. he’s a little worried to move, in case it all starts feeling abysmal again, but he can hardly spend the rest of his 24 hours on the mean gills' bridge.

"I could carry you." jimmy suggests, and joel makes a noise of concern—thinking about how precarious they've made their base. "that's- yeah, that's a good point."

"could you try to stand?" grian says tentatively. his voice sounds closer than it was a moment ago, and there's a hand on joel's shoulder that has to be grian's. "the pain shouldn't get too much worse, since the potion has actually fixed a lot of the wounds."

joel wonders if grian can read minds too, or if he just knows what joel would be thinking. he doesn’t think he can read minds, which suggests that- maybe grian just knows him that well. it's a nice thought.

he pushes himself slightly more upward, regretful as he leaves the warmth of jimmy's embrace- and immediately begins to fall backwards again, once again completely forgetting how unbalanced he is now. both jimmy and grian make noises of panic before joel catches himself before he topples all the way over, and he can’t help grinning despite the twinge of pain the sudden movement shoots through his back- and wings, which is a bizarre feeling.

"I might need some help not falling over." joel grins, as grian stands up and lends him a hand. "but it doesn’t hurt that much anymore."

"that's good." grian says, a wave of relief overtaking his expression. joel squeezes his hand, and grian smiles.

jimmy is at his side before joel realises. "maybe we avoid bread bridge for a bit." he says, and joel snorts.

the journey back to the mansion is not nearly as perilous as joel had worried it'd be, considering that it's day and anyone they bumped into seemed to notice the dried blood accompanying the very large wings on joel's back and presumably decided that trying to kill them now would just be rude. the downright murderous looks from both jimmy and grian when someone came a little too close with a weapon, or made just a bit too serious of a threat probably also helped.

instead of attempt to swim with the unfamiliar weight of his newgrown wings, joel elects to pillar up instead. jimmy and grian hover next to him, climbing onto trees and swimming up the water in some attempt to provide a safety net if he falls. admittedly, it's quite sweet- not that he's about to tell them that. he instead settles on insisting that he knows how to pillar up, and praying to every deity that might exist for him not to fall off immediately.

luckily, no one falls or dies or whatever, and they all make it to the top of the mansion in one piece. joel is prepared to pass out in their bed as soon as he reaches it, but he doesn’t really want his bad boys to worry even more at his exhaustion.

as if reading his mind- oh. he forgot- yeah, he can actually do that, can't he? it- anyway, jimmy plops himself down, and gestures for grian and joel to join him—which joel happily obliges. grian almost hesitates, but joel drags him along, and grian doesn't even bother protesting.

joel lays next to jimmy, and grian—who followed quickly after him—pulls him into a hug. huffing softly, joel hugs back. "it's okay." he mumbles into grian's shoulder. "I promise- i'd say something if it weren't."

"I know." grian half-whispers, clearly fighting tears. "i’m- I just can’t get over- I did this to you."

joel swallows more emotion than he expected. "yeah. but- it's- it's 'cause you care. it's not- I can’t hate that." grian makes a little noise that could be a suppressed sob.

"thank you." joel can barely make it out, but he can’t help but blink back tears at the honesty in it- from grian, of all people, that means a lot.

his wings are still sore, and moving them sends an ache down his back, but joel finds himself wanting to wrap them around grian. "I just- I also- y’know. care." joel says, kind of hoping it's too muffled for either grian or jimmy to hear. "it's- I like having.. I don’t know, a piece of you guys with me."

grian sniffles, holding joel tighter. "I- dude, you’re- you’re gonna make me cry."

"join the club." joel huffs a laugh, eyes burning. he buries his face in grian's jumper in the hopes that it'll wipe away any tears that come.

there's a very quiet clearing of someone's throat next to them—unmistakably jimmy. joel doesn’t even need to look up to know he’s also trying not to start crying, and he blindly reaches out a hand until he finds jimmy's shirt and pulls him towards them both. grian catches on, shifting a little to make room for their bad boy.

"I- I didn’t wanna ruin the moment." jimmy is saying as both grian and joel drag him into the hug.

joel can't help smiling as he feels jimmy wrap his arms around him, which- it's embarrassing, but weirdly, he doesn’t even care. "as if either of you could ruin anything." he scoffs, almost to himself.

there's a kiss pressed into his hair, and grian laughs as joel rolls his eyes (if only to disguise how much he appreciates it). "bad boys for life, right?"

jimmy mhms along as joel grins, "bad boys for life."

#the title is maybe a bit on the nose but I was struggling with song lyrics and monster by dodie is one of my favourites #gore #body horror #how else do you tag growing wings very violently #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #grian #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #bad boys #the bad boys #limited life smp #the end may be a bit weird but honestly idec it's been 7 months #wren writes #trafficblr #trafficfic

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rita-repulsa-ke · 3 days ago

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Agatha and Rio read thirst tweets

Finale to this and this

“Hiiii, Agatha.”

“Ugh. Remind me why I agreed to this.”

“I don’t know. Why did you?”

”They offered me a lot of money. I might also have been drunk. Hard to say, really.”

“Mm. It’s still nice to see you.”

“…Can we move these chairs farther apart? No? Too bad, that wasn’t a real question. Now can I get an advil and a bottle of water and we can get this over with?”

“…What? You want me to read this—she’s right there, though. It’s distracting. …Okay, okay, let’s see. I want Rio to pound me until archeologists can’t identify my skeleton. …Are you sure this is about sex at all?”

“Surely you know what hyperbole is, you used to date me.”

“It just seems like a lot. Fine, sure, I can obliterate your skeleton. We’re still not having sex, though.”

“Aw, saving yourself for me? That’s disgusting. My turn, then. I would let Agatha—Rio, stop growling. And put the knife away.”

“Ags, I want you to kill them.”

“Yeah, not doing that, that’s something I only do for people I like. I might be really mean to them, though.”

“…How mean?”

“Let me finish reading first. I would let Agatha Harkness spit in my open mouth. …Gross. Next.”

“Not mean enough.”

“Trust me, someone like that, being mean is only going to make them hornier.”

“…Hmm. I bet stabbing wouldn’t. What’s this one—I just want to watch Rio put Agatha over her knee and—“

“Okay, okay, that’s enough of that.”

“Shy, beloved? I remember you used like that sort of thi—“

“Moving on. Uh—I want to take Agatha out to a beautiful candlelit dinner and stare chastely at her from across the table. Finally, a legitimate freak! That’s incredibly messed up and I hope you find the help you need.”

“…You’re funny.”

“You know it.”

“And gorgeous and intelligent and frustrating and—“

“Hey, Rio, focus. …And stop getting closer.”

“I am very, very focused on what I want.”

“…You know what? I can’t do this. Not with her. Keep the money, I’m out.”

“Agatha, wai—ah, a spell. That was clever. …It was still nice to see her. I can’t believe you got her to agree to this in the first pla—wait, what??? What did you say? Say it again. …What do you mean, it was her idea??”

masterpost or click this link to go to a random post on this blog, which will probably be a fic of some kind

#agatha all along #agatha x rio #agathario #I love writing Agatha so much

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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 2 days ago

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miss oranje's faves: self-recs edition

i'm not used to praising myself bc i am my biggest hater, not my biggest fan, but i was tagged by the lovely @gothcsz to participate in @jolapeno 's 'tootathon' challenge, and i originally was going to pass up the opportunity butttt i suppose i'll *try* to say nice things about myself but i love the people in this fandom so i always enjoy participating in the fun, particularly something that promotes positivity when fandoms can be so toxic sometimes. honestly, i might need to steal this idea and make a positivity challenge for the resident evil fandom (which is what i primarily write for) because we are in need of good vibes…

*because my blog is multi-fandom, my masterlist is getting big overall, so i'm going to link my javi fics and my joel fics (along with my liztober '24 because there are a couple other pedro character fics on there)

i haven't been a part of the pedro pascal fandom for long, so my work here is limited, but i will share a few things:

it's never over (javi p x reader) - a two part fic (part one is from javi's perspective, part two is from reader's)

I really liked the concept for this fic and it was something that I wrote bits and pieces of for a while. I tried to change it to a single pov because i think i’m not someone who does well with pov switches like this, but it never captured the full scope of the story i wanted to tell when i tried to make it only javi’s or only reader’s. Ultimately, while i’d like to add onto this fic because i would like to expand upon reader’s pov, i like the story that i told in the end (i love angst). Maybe there will be a part 3…

2. and for dessert? (javi p x reader) - a short, mildly smutty story about javi and a housekeeper at a hotel

i hated this fic for a while because i got caught up in the numbers but i reread it last night and i was like, ‘okay, the concept is incredibly silly, but i guess in some way, that’s the point’. Anyway, when i looked back and stopped focusing on the numbers, i realized that i actually really like this fic, and probably wouldn’t change anything about it.

3. anniversary antics (joel x reader) - joel and his wife getting it on ... heavy breeding kink here

i wrote this in an hour or so. it just came to me. straight from the smutty brain (which is rare). this is one of the few fics of mine that i re-read and actually think 'oh this is hot'!

4. everything's bigger in texas (joel x reader) - for my liztober celebration! reader loses her virginity to joel and it's a sweet and short smut.

this is my second most popular tumblr post of all time (so it doesn’t need promo here), which is very funny because i almost didn't post this at all. i thought the size kink might be too basic and overdone but i also really wanted to write an 'older' reader as i have a tendency to write younger readers (which is partially because i am 24 and have never been older than 24 vs i have been 21 etc.) and i wanted to get away from the typical innocent virgin thing.

and also, we're gonna get personal here... i'm pretty sure i have vaginismus and so it's really really difficult to have sex. i've been shamed or questioned rather than reassured during situations where i struggle or am entirely unable to. reader in this fic was not specified to have vaginismus because i was trying to keep it light and smutty, flipping it around into a size kink, but it was a bit healing to write tbh.

I’m pretty sure everyone has already been tagged but i’ll tag some of my mutuals just in case:

@clawdee @evolnoomym @baronessvonglitter @the-mandawhor1an

#jo: tootathon #tootathon2024

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emsprovisions · 2 days ago

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❄️ Day 22 - Too Much Holiday Cheer ❄️

🎁 Today's fic is dedicated to @everlastingday!

Summary: When Carlos leaves the Reyes Nochebuena festivities quite a bit drunk, his husband happily takes care of him.

Word count: 835

I am so sorry yesterday's is late! Two drabbles will be posted today! Also, the entire Advent collection will be posted to ao3 on Christmas day :)

24 Days of Tarlos Masterpost

Carlos is giggly as TK walks him out to the car, having already snagged the keys to the Camaro from his husband’s jacket before he helped Carlos into it. TK eases his drunk husband into the passenger seat and moves around to the driver’s side. He’s already loaded the leftover food and their gifts into the back and they’ve both said their goodbyes, and TK is ready to take Carlos home.

“TK?” Carlos has his head turned against the headrest, still giggling a bit, his eyes half-closed.

“Yes, my love?”

“I looooove you,” Carlos responds. “You’re so nice and funny.”

“I’m funny?” TK can’t help the laugh that escapes as he glances over at Carlos as he drives.

“Hilarious!” Carlos giggles. “And you’re so hot. I can’t believe I’ve got the hottest husband in the world.”

“Oh, no, baby, I’ve got a pretty hot husband,” TK purrs, his eyes back on the road, smiling in amusement.

”You’re married!?”

TK laughs, “To you, babe.”

Carlos reaches across the center console and grabs TK’s arm. TK easily spreads his hand across Carlos’s lap as he clings to him.

“Mine,” Carlos says, a bit of bite to his voice like he’s fighting someone for TK’s hand. “…TK?”

“Mhmm?”

“Is the car spinning?”

“No, baby, try and close your eyes,” TK urges. He hands Carlos his insulated water bottle from the cup holder. “Sip on this.”

Inwardly, he’s cursing Tío Raúl for putting so much rum into the ponche navideño for Nochebuena tonight.

Carlos takes a few sips of water before just closing his eyes and clinging to TK’s arm. The drive feels like it lasts forever but they finally make it home, and TK makes it a priority to get Carlos upstairs and into the loft before he grabs the things from the trunk.

He pulls Carlos by the arm into the elevator, and Carlos staggers into him and laughs, dropping his head to TK’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you, baby,” TK smiles, scratching at the base of Carlos’s head as he complains about the elevator spinning. “Shh, shh, please don’t throw up in the elevator.”

Once they make it inside, TK guides Carlos into their bedroom to start undressing him to get him into pajamas.

“Excuse me!” Carlos swats at TK’s hands. “My husband would not like you taking my clothes off.”

TK can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “Babe, I am your husband.”

Carlos blinks his weary eyes and frowns, eyebrows scrunching like he’s thinking hard about something before he starts laughing.

“I know that. I’m just messing wiffyew,” he slurs, reaching for TK to tug him closer. “TK, come snuggle me.”

TK cups Carlos’s face. “I will, baby. I just need to get you out of these clothes and get the rest of the stuff from the car. Do you think you can manage to take your contacts out or do you need help?”

“Ican do ‘t,” Carlos nods. “The room’s still spinning, TK.”

“I know, baby. I’m going to get you some more water too.”

TK successfully gets Carlos out of his clothes and shoes and into something comfy to wear, before helping him to the bathroom, where TK watches as he removes his contacts, making sure he doesn’t stab his eye with his finger or need help or anything. Once Carlos’s glasses are on, TK smiles at him.

“Don’t you look cozy,” TK grins, rubbing Carlos’s shoulders. “Let’s get you into bed, big guy.”

Carlos flops onto TK’s pillow, since it’s closer to the bathroom, inching his way beneath the covers and pulling them over his head. He peeks out at TK with a tiny smile. TK just laughs, rubbing the top of Carlos’s head over the blanket.

“Hi, baby, you doing okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“I’m going to get you some water, alright?”

“Mhmm.”

TK grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and sets it on his own nightstand since that appears to be where Carlos has decided to sleep tonight. He rubs Carlos’s back over the blankets.

“Carlos, I’m going to go get our stuff from the car, try and drink some water while I’m gone.”

“Okay, TK.”

TK drops a kiss to Carlos’s temple before he leaves, heading back through the door and down to the garage to make a couple of trips carrying food and gifts back upstairs. It’s normally just one trip with Carlos’s help, but TK doesn’t mind doing it by himself.

By the time TK has brought everything up, and turned out the lights in the rest of the loft, he finds his husband passed out and snoring. He’s rolled over from lying on his stomach and is now splayed out across TK’s pillow, on his back and looking like a starfish, with his mouth gaping open.

TK just shakes his head and moves about their bedroom and bathroom, getting ready for bed. He hopes Carlos doesn’t have a horrible hangover in the morning, but he’ll be happy to take care of him even if he does.

#24 days of tarlos #tarlos #911 lone star #em writes

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soaringviolets · 1 day ago

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20% into Fourth Wing (according to my audio… I love that I can listen and work on commissions/wrapping gifts simultaneously😂)

Thoughts so far:

Do all books give content warnings? … is this because it’s that violent or is this just a thing now? Appreciated either way! Just new to me :-)

Her mother makes no sense. I hate her. Yet, I have a feeling I will regret saying that. And if I don’t WHY would you do that to your kid.

Okay, ow, so the brother is dead… that hit the grief point.

Do we love Mira (idk why I’m using plurals)? I think I get her, I’d do anything for my little siblings… but I also am a younger sibling and know how that babying hurts.

“Fragile.” — WOW, WE ARE THE SAME😅

I love Violet (I’m predictable).

Her hair sounds dope. And I actually get why she loves it because it’s hers, it’s healthy… I feel that.

Funny her eyes are well detailed to match the EDS coloration for some subtypes *not licensed but nurse brain says*😂

Even if I don’t know people ship her with Xaden (tbh idk if it’s literally just that cause of tropes & 0 canon) but I can see why… immediately fits the “forbidden, bad boy, should be enemies, has sudden interest, they were the most beautiful I’d ever seen”

I should not have gotten so attached to Dylan so soon. But also I kinda knew it?

I love Rhiannon… plus Maasverse brain says it’s a win

“I will not die today” — that’s a good mantra

Jack can die today please!

Great so they are killing each-other off, that sure sounds like a great place to spend three years in “hunger games college”.

Childhood best friends to lovers, oh great this is gonna get me, I’m screwed.

Okay, legit the knee sublex scene is so well done and relatable to me and I imagine every EDS/LDS/Marfins/HSD friend I have. *I say this as I type currently wearing a brace ring on my thumb, ice brace on my knee, and heating pad on my back😅😭*

… how do we feel about Dean… Dain? How do we even say it… I don’t know.

These fueds sound kinda old to me

I like the quote per chapter thing

+ The “a dragon without a rider is a tragedy but a writer without a dragon is dead” is a good one

#Fourth Wing #1st Fourth Wing #Fourth Wing first read #read along with me #no spoilers please #currently reading #20% into the book #audiobooks #Rebecca Yarros #Chapter… 4… 8… idk. I need to check😂#we’ll see how this ages #Dain Aetos #Violet Sorrengail #representation #Rhiannon #Dylan (probably his only tag tbh)#Rhiannon I hope to know you long enough to learn your full name #now I just need to stop mixing up mates tattoos and worlds with Maasverse lol #also though they do mention wyverns so

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dreamyelectronicmusic · 3 days ago

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The late December sun is already up when Wille wakes to the most beautiful sight: Simon’s face inches from his, soft and relaxed in his sleep. His heart swells with happiness and love, but then clenches when he remembers that today is his last day in Bjärstad and he’ll never have another morning like this again. He pushes the thought away and just tries to focus on the quiet joy of the moment. He watches Simon sleep until his bladder forces him out of bed and then he starts rummaging around Simon’s kitchen. The least he can do is make him breakfast.

Simon emerges from the bedroom just as the coffee is ready, looking adorably sleep-rumpled. He attaches himself to Wille from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Are you making breakfast?” he murmurs, nuzzling the back of Wille’s neck.

“I am. Is that okay?”

“Mm-hmm. I like a man who knows his way around a kitchen.”

“Then I’m sorry to disappoint. Coffee and sandwiches is pretty much the extent of my abilities.”

“You could learn.”

And Wille would, happily, for Simon. He imagines cooking meals for him. Providing for him. It would make him so happy. But no amount of cooking skills could ever make up for the way being associated with Wille would destroy Simon’s life. Wille’s entire romantic history could be divided into two categories: people who were only with him for the glamour, and people who couldn’t live with the weight of becoming public property. He knows Simon is firmly in the latter category. Wille can’t do that to him. He couldn’t bear to see Simon’s light dimmed and being the cause of it.

But at least he gets to have breakfast with him. It’s cosy and domestic with plenty of stolen kisses. They’re both excited about the play tonight.

Then Simon mentions that he’s going to his mum’s house the next day to decorate the tree and bake some cookies. Wille could come too, if he wanted.

“I’d love to,” Wille says, meaning it, “but I can’t. I have to get back to Stockholm. The gala is tomorrow.”

Simon is disappointed, but he knows that Wille dreads the gala, so he tries to give him something nice to look forward to. “Then we could see each other after Christmas. Whenever you’re free.”

Wille’s expression changes at that and he doesn’t reply immediately. An ice block lodges itself in Simon’s stomach.

“You don’t want to,” he says, not a question. He feels like an idiot. Yes, they’ve only known each other for a couple of days, but Wille looked at him with such adoration, Simon really thought they were on the same page. But apparently not. Simon was the only one foolish enough to lose his heart.

“No, I want to, I do,” Wille pleads. “There’s nothing I want more than to be with you. I like you so much, Simon, but I – It can’t work. You’d regret it. My life is… you don’t want to be part of it.”

“Oh, I don’t, don’t I? Funny, I don’t remember being asked.” In all honesty, the little things Wille has shared made Simon dislike the monarchy even more and he doesn’t love the prospect of having anything to do with it, but he’s sure they could have worked something out. Except apparently Wille has already made the decision for the both of them.

“Trust me, you don’t. You’d hate it and you’d hate me and it would ruin your life. I’ve seen it happen before. I can’t do that to you.”

“But you can do it to yourself?”

“... What do you mean?”

“If you hate it so much, why do you stay?”

🎄 Hallmark Christmas Movie AU Part 3 🎄

(part 1) ❄️(part 2)

At this point in the script, we need Simon/his family/the town to face some kind of problem that Wille can help solve in a way that doesn’t rely on his royal status, lets him spend more time with Simon and helps him understand what he’s really passionate about. So what I’m thinking is that Simon’s school or maybe the town community centre is putting on a Christmas play. Actually it’s probably a musical so Simon is very involved. It’s an annual thing that the town is completely obsessed with. It’s not Christmas without it, basically. But now there’s a problem: the beautiful hand-painted scenery flats they always use got damaged somehow (Hallmark Force Majeure) and they’re unusable. Everyone is devastated; the flats are a classic and everybody loves them. They can do the play without them but it just won’t be the same. Nobody is available to paint new ones at such short notice. Except a certain prince who is there on holiday so he has nothing to do besides make eyes at his crush and who took up painting some years ago as a way to calm his anxiety.

So Wille offers to repaint the flats. Mostly he wants to impress Simon and spend more time with him, but he also really likes the thought of being actually useful. I don’t know how long it would take in real life but in fantasy world it takes exactly the amount of time they have. Simon keeps him company whenever he can and enjoys watching him paint and the cute little frown he has on his face when he’s concentrating. They talk and joke and flirt and get to know each other better. Wille thinks that he should probably be trying to protect his heart because he knows that this can never be anything more than a little holiday romance – someone as wonderful as Simon doesn’t belong in his dreary life. But he knows that it’s a lost cause. He’s falling hard and fast and there’s no stopping it, so he decides to just enjoy it while he can.

As Wille paints, at first he’s trying to copy the old flats based on photos, but then he gets ideas for changes and improvements. He doesn’t think he should do that, though; it’s a tradition and he shouldn’t break it. But Simon encourages him to be creative and just do what he feels is right, and Wille finds that he’s really enjoying the process. (See, it’s a metaphor! We are not in a subtle genre.)

And you can guess what happens. At some point Wille gets some paint on his face and Simon tries to wipe it off. They were laughing about something just a second ago but suddenly they’re not. Simon’s thumb brushes over Wille’s cheekbone, smearing the paint. Wille’s nose nudges Simon’s, and their lips finally meet in a kiss that’s been days in the making. It’s soft and brief. They break apart to check in with each other, grin, and the next thing Wille knows is he’s dropping the paint brush and pulling Simon closer, closer, closer.

Simon ends up with paint on the back of his shirt and in his hair, but he doesn’t mind.

#hallmark au

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aimfor-theheart · 1 month ago

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men love to try and tee me up for their next relationship while they’re still dating their current gf and i am never interested. NEVER.

#i don’t even fuck w men like that #mind you i’ve told this man that i am NOT INTERESTED in dating SEVERAL TIMES when he’s asked ab my romantic life #but he’s saying some suspicious ass stuff #like today he was like ‘yeah and it’s hard bc i’m starting have feelings for….this isn’t about anyone in particular….others outside #the relationship. and it’s making me feel guilty’#and i’m like hm. um. okay.#and he’s being weirdly cryptic with me in the way men get when they think they’re being sly ab their feelings for you #😭😭#he’s texting me a bunch lately too like ‘you just really inspire me to be the best version of myself i can be’#and ‘i had a really bad week and i just wanted to thank you for being so kind and funny and awesome’#mind you i didn’t do anything out of ordinary for him #mind you he’s my coworker!!!#i see him every day!!#i’m not stupid idk 😭 you complain ab your gf to me and the shower me in praise like pls stop im uncomfortable 😭😭#i’ve already told him i don’t really want this dynamic with a coworker and he kinda just continues and idk what to do anymore!#like we work closely on everything!#he sits directly beside me in the office!#BLAH #cielo rambles!

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a-concert-just-for-me · 3 months ago

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QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too

Like????????

#sillyposting #adhd #I asked if they could turn down the lights and it was soooooo haha funny to them #how quirky haha hehe no one’s ever asked for that before!#and then they turn the light off and it’s pitch black and the laptop brightness is still way too bright #I was going to be overstimulated either way probably #but still #I tried to make it a neutral environment for the best results it just didn’t work out #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #can you blame a girl for having a very cutesy very demure meltdown at the psych’s office #but anyway I did absolute shit on the test #I feel like it’s not even fully accurate because I was crying half the time :/#I couldn’t remember anything esp not with the sensory hell #but then again I already know I would have been shit at it without the meltdown too #and the nurse tried to comfort me when I said sorry for crying #and she’s like no it’s okay we’re all special in our own way!#Ma’am I don’t need your autism speaks pep talk I need all the lights in my vicinity to be turned off #at least if they say I don’t have adhd I have even more validation for the autism #because who else has a meltdown over l i g h t s #very neurotypical reaction I’m so normal actually #I’m fine I’m at home and I’m gonna chill in my room don’t worry

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james-spooky · 3 months ago

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this is a test

#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th #the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo #g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit #ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco #ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo #e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a #ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha #e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t #care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea #y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss #im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop #e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo #ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas #ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can #use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s #much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a #annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically #now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s #lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like #what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or #smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc #ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other #than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140 #haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai #let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o #what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some #one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james #im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh #w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause #ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:

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heyclickadee · 1 year ago

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So, my family is rewatching Rings of Power, and since I’m the one in the family that read The Silmarillion (like a masochist), I’m the one who keeps getting asked all the questions.

#‘did this happen?’ well broadly speaking yes but Tolkien never fleshed this part of middle-earth’s history out in much detail #but I know exactly where they got the idea for whatever it is most of the time #‘is Galadriel’s husband really dead’ of course not #‘did Sauron ever go by the name Halbrand?’ well not really but also how much time do you have because this is going to take some explaining #‘is that Gandalf?’ almost definitely but they’re doing the blue wizard thing with him by taking him to Rhun #also I think they’re making him the basis for the hobbit’s ’man in the moon’ song so I’m honestly okay with it #‘is the Queen lady’s nightmare significant’ Yes three times over but how am I supposed to say anything about it #without giving away what’s probably a season finale #‘what’s with the mithril?’ Hell if I know I’m as confused as you are about that #actually the Galadriel’s husband one was funny #because of course Celeborn shows up in the movies #but my mom wasn’t sure that was actually her husband #or some random blorbo #or a second husband #which then opened up the whole conversation #to how the elves are painfully monogamous even when their spouse dies #because they way they die is weird and also #they all still have generational and firsthand trauma from the fallout of that one elf guy who did get remarried #rings of power spoilers

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the-worms-in-your-bones · 5 months ago

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Me seeing someone with a cool name: oooooo, what if

Another part of my brain: no. we spent enough time getting to Jonah. we’re not doing it again

#occasionally I get the urge to just hoard names #I think it would be neat #but also like how would I even tell people that #like here’s a list of random ass names that I think sound kind of cool don’t even know if I like them for myself yet #also sometimes it’s a name that’s typically a girls name and if I went hey I kind of like this name I feel like I would end up getting #misgendered and I don’t want to deal with that #it’s so funny because I’ve always wanted to change my name and I wonder how much of that was trans stuff and how much was I just like other #names #like honestly there are points where boneworms feels like more of my name than Jonah #whatever that says about me #I think I got off the point but whatever it’s almost two am #j rambles #coming back to this to rant more in the tags #so like the current names I’m rotating in my head are Silas (not my favorite of the three and I already have a character named this but #still it’s cool) also Sylvester specifically to be called the nickname syl #and nova which I know is a more feminine name but also presenting masculinly with a feminine name would be very gender #love having a weird gender but I feel like other people would be weird about it in a bad way #it’s not like a don’t like Jonah but I think I’ve gotten too used to it if that makes sense #like yeah it’s my name but it’s not as fun anymore #I’m back again #silver is also a cool name #I should really go to bed instead of just adding to the notes of this post #wait wait wait wait #sylver #okay I’m done now #probably

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months ago

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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

#blue chatter #am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing #but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture #which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people #autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people #depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay #but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL #and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them #I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house #their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting #I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation #they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo #which is rly neat #it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e #it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid #and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun #I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^

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borom1r · 1 year ago

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I need to fuck him so bad it does, in fact, make me look stupid

#‘confidential checkup’ said while blushing like HARVEY???? HARVEY?? HELLO???? BABYGIRL??????????#ik it’s way fucking zoomed in that’s bc he’s ONLY SAID THIS TO ME ONCE and it was while I was playing split screen ☠️#sdv #also in my head he looks like David Thewlis in (the role I’m legally obligated not to name) so. Clearly I Have A Type #ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY two friends when I go ‘he looks like David to me’ have been like yea of course I knew you were gonna say that #and then ANOTHER friend when I showed them Elliott was like ‘I KNEW one of your bachelors was gonna be Elliott. blond men who vex you’#i am simply a predictable man but that’s Okay

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sodacowboy · 3 months ago

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oh. oh no. I don’t know ANYTHING about music.

#watching Jacob’s music stream and uhhhh #y’all #y’all….#I have no fucking idea what he’s saying lmao #idk what else I expected #like this is what I expected #I just thought I’d understand more of it than I am #like damn okay #guess I need a baby class or something #anyway #this is so funny to me as someone who generally likes when noises are good #esp musically #and also like singing and making my own music #like you’d think I’d know more but nope #in my defense #I didn’t realize until just this past year?? past two years???#that music/singing was something I wanted to pursue as a hobby #so it makes sense that I’m an idiot about it #esp bc I’m also not trying very hard to learn anything #I’m just absorbing whatever knowledge comes my way #I’m not seeking it out or anything #which is why it took me ages to be a good artist lol #bc I did the same thing with drawing #anyway.#was hoping whatever knowledge I retained from the half year I played clarinet in fourth grade would carry me further than this

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readwritealldayallnight · 2 months ago

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“And you ladies are goin’ to be alright?”

“Oh yeah, cabbie’s on his way for us. You go ahead and get this one home.” Your friends giggle as they take their turns hugging you goodbye, the process taking nearly ten minutes thanks to the never ending drinks you’ve all had tonight.

It was a rare night out for you, celebrating a friends birthday at a bar with your girl gang. With your busy schedules, it was difficult to find time to get together as often, and when you did, your friends went hard. Shot after shot, drink after drink, you’d definitely been beyond tipsy for a while now.

Simon, who had come to pick you up at the end of the night, was thoroughly entertained by the sight of his intoxicated little sweetheart, all giggly and rosy cheeked. Making sure your friends has their own safe way of getting home, he slipped an arm around your waist, wanting to prevent your stumbling legs from landing you face first on the bar floor, and led you towards the exit.

“Oh my gosh.” You giggle, your own arm trying to wind behind his large muscular back. “Simon I’m so happy you’re heeeeeeere! I missed you so much.”

“S’that right?” He humours you, holding the door open with his side as he manages to steer you out of the building and out to the car park. “You an’ the girls have only been out for a few hours, lovie.”

“Well it was a flew, no a few! It was a few hours too long!” You drunkenly mumbled, making Simon’s smile widen, his mind already going over the different painkillers in your bathroom cabinet he could give you in the morning for the hangover you were sure to get. “A few hours too many, away from my Si guy! I don’t like not being with youuuuuu.”

“I know, lovie, I don’t like being apart either. But you’re allowed to have fun with the girls every once in a while.” He attempted to reason with you, fishing a hand into his jacket pocket in search of the keys. “You had fun, right?”

“Yeeesssss… but I like you! So much!”

“I like you too.” He chuckled at you. “If ya had fun s’all that matters. And I’m here now aren’t I? Said I’d come get ya.” He adds, tightening his grip around you in emphasis, not wanting to shake you too much, unsure as to exactly how many drinks you had.

“Oh my gosh that’s so nice to say…” you began drawling on before your feet came to an abrupt halt, nearly causing Simon to stumble forward himself as he stopped alongside you. “Wait…” you mumbled, eyes glancing ahead at the familiar sight of Simon’s truck. “Are you driving me?”

He can’t help but to softly chuckle to himself again, completely endeared by the way drunken you has your face scrunched up in consideration, apparently having forgotten that between the two of you, Simon would in fact be the one behind the wheel.

“I am.” He replies simply, watching you process his words.

“Okay, well, I just need to call Soap first.” You mumble, trying to pull your phone out of your back pocket with great effort.

“What’ya need to call that tosser for?” Simon asked, now the one feeling confused.

“I’ve just never actually written a will, and if you’re driving then I think I should probab- ahh!” You squeal as Simon scoops you up over his shoulder, swatting a large hand against the plump of your behind, covering the short distance to the passenger side.

“Yeah yeah, very funny, cheeky girl.” He says, opening the door and helping you into the seat before buckling you in, a smile on his face the entire time. He comes around to his side and hops in the drivers seat, starting up the engine. As he starts to pull out of the parking and back onto the main road, Simon glances towards your figure huddled up in the passenger seat, already singing along to the first thing that came up on the radio, and wonders to himself just how much you’ll remember in the morning.

The last time he’d drank with you, you were completely out of business the next day, saying that you could hardly remember a thing from the night prior, and even then he wasn’t sure you were as intoxicated as you were currently. Deciding to have a bit of fun and take a chance Simon asks you:

“Hey lovie?”

“Mhm?”

“When I ask ya to marry me, what do ya think you’ll say?”

“Uh, I will say YES! Duh!” You reply, the answer obvious to you no matter what state you’re in. However, because you are in fact drunk, you then add “and then I’m gonna get down on my knees too Si, and I’m gonna give you the best bestest head in the whole world actually is what I will do.”

“Hm, okay.” He answers casually, keeping the urge to laugh contained for a bit longer, wanting to keep teasing you. “And uh, how many kids do you think you’re gonna want us to have?”

“Simon,” you playfully sing song to him, angling yourself to face towards him and reaching a finger out to try and poke his cheek, landing more towards his shoulder. “Do you have feelings for me or something?”

“Or somethin’” he says quickly, “Come on lovie, how many babies am I puttin’ in ya, hm?”

“Mmm, at least two I think. So that at Halloween, Simon oh my gosh, at Halloween! We can do a family costume and all be ghostbuste-”

“We’re not gonna be ghostbust-”

“We will be ghostbusters.” You nod to yourself, glancing away from him as his opinion is no longer valid, before changing your mind and looking at him with all the love you can muster at that moment. “Simon, it sounds like you liiiiiiiike meeeee.” You attempt to tease. “You wanna get married? And have babies?”

“‘Course I do, lovie.”

“You think about that?”

“Every day.”

“Every day?”

“Mhm.” He confirms, sending you his own loving look.

“Well you better get me my ring then mister, cause I like yoooouuu too.” You giggle, before gasping as the song changes and starting to sing along.

He watches you in the passenger seat, a content smile upon his face as he listens to you singing without a care in the world, unaware that Simon has had your ring picked out and purchased since your first kiss. He’s just been waiting for the right time to ask you. And now that you’ve unknowingly given him your own blessing, he’s not so sure he can wait much longer.

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