#I am not okay I’m not okay I’m not saying it in a funny way I’m not alright
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hotshotsxyz · 2 days ago
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living lies and compromise
(8b spec) (buddie) (879 words) spoilers for 8x08! set a few days after eddie returns from texas and i still managed to make it angsty :) i bet you'll never guess what band i stole the title from
The knock on Buck’s door isn’t entirely unexpected. He doesn’t know what to do with it, though, doesn’t know how to exist in this strange liminal space where Eddie’s back but everything is still different.
A few months ago, Eddie would’ve used his key and walked straight in. A few months ago, Buck would’ve welcomed him with open arms. As it stands, he hesitates. Just for a moment, but—
It’s been a long time since Buck was hesitant with Eddie. He hates it.
He opens the door, and the smile he greets Eddie with feels brittle and fake.
“Hey, man,” Buck says, trying trying trying to make it come out right. He hears it, though—it doesn’t sound the same.
“Hey,” Eddie replies. He hoists a six pack in the air, and if Buck squints he can almost pretend this is exactly what it used to be. That they’re what they used to be.
“Come—come in,” Buck invites. He can’t remember the last time either of them waited for permission like this.
Eddie swallows visibly and steps into the loft for the first time since—god, he’s not actually sure. Right after Halloween, maybe?
“Thanks,” Eddie says. He drops the beer on the counter but makes no move to grab one.
Silence stretches between them. It’s not uncomfortable, necessarily, but it’s also not the kind that falls when everything that needs to be said is out in the open and everything left can wait.
“I thought you’d be happy to see me,” Eddie says finally, achingly quiet.
Buck shakes his head. “I am, of course I’m happy to see you,” he says.
“Please don’t do that.” Eddie’s eyes are wide and sincere, and if Buck’s not careful—
“Eddie,” he says, pleading, “I am, you have no idea.”
“Then why…” He gestures vaguely at the space between them. Why the distance? Why the reticence? Why aren’t they falling together the way they always have?
Buck bites his lip and steps into Eddie’s space to grab a beer for himself. He retreats, but he doesn’t go far.
He pops the cap off and sighs. “You left,” he says simply.
Eddie stumbles back against the counter. “But I came back,” he says. “And I thought you understood.”
Buck offers him a sad little smile. “I did. I do. But—coming back wasn’t the plan.”
“Did you… not want me to?” Eddie asks, small and a tiny bit incredulous.
“No,” Buck says, watching as Eddie’s disbelief turns to hurt. “I didn’t want you to come back. I needed you to.”
A wounded noise escapes Eddie’s lips. “I did,” he says.
“What about next time?” Buck asks. He wishes he didn’t sound so raw and ragged, but it hardly matters when Eddie’s the one listening.
“What?” He breathes, punched out like a cough.
Buck looks over Eddie’s shoulder, out the window and into the vague glow of night in Los Angeles. He takes a swig of his beer.
“I need you, Eddie, I still—the whole time you were gone it felt like—like I was missing a limb. And I can’t—I can’t keep needing you like this, not if I don’t get to keep you,” Buck admits. “So I just… I have to figure out how to stop. But I can’t do that when you’re here.”
“Don’t,” Eddie says desperately. “Please don’t. I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere. You have me.”
“I’m not sure I know how to survive believing that again,” Buck replies.
Eddie takes a step forward, close enough now that Buck can feel his breath ghosting across his skin.
“Look at me?” he asks.
Buck’s never been able to deny him much of anything.
“I kept looking for you. I’d see something funny and I’d turn, because I wanted to see your reaction. The front door would open, and I kept thinking you were going to be the one to walk through it. Hell, every time I went to the grocery store I wanted to call you to make sure everything we needed was on the list.”
“Eddie,” Buck breathes.
His hand drifts toward Buck’s shoulder, just like it always seems to, but this time it doesn’t stop. Eddie reaches until his fingers are resting against Buck’s neck and his thumb is slowly sweeping across his jaw.
“You need me?” he asks.
Buck nods.
“Good,” Eddie says in a rush of air. “Because I need you too, okay? So please don’t stop, please don’t pull away. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to come with me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to stay.”
Eddie’s shoulders slump. He takes the last step forward and pulls Buck into a tight hug.
There’s this thing Buck’s been trying not to look at. It’s been growing in size, taking up more and more of his field of vision since the moment Eddie left for Texas. It’s been fuzzy and hard to discern, difficult to ignore but easy to avoid putting a name to. As he melts into Eddie’s arms, though, everything comes into sharp relief.
It’s need. It’s want. It’s love.
And the thing is, Buck knows how this goes. But what the hell? It’ll be a privilege, getting his heart broken by Eddie Diaz.
He clings a little tighter.
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 days ago
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Isekai Reader, was possessed by Martha to talk to her son Bruce but as soon as Martha touch Reader, a liquid substance came out of Reader mouth taking in the form of Martha from head to upper body while looking completely possessed like that is not normal possession..
Alfred, giving them a wipe: are you alright?
Isekai Reader: no the lady came out of my fucking mouth, I never thought I would've been traumatized even more but here we are
Isekai reader: she said she will borrow my body and I thought it was a normal possession! Have I known that would happen I wouldn't be able to refuse either way...
Alfred, raise a brow: and why is that?
Isekai reader, on the verge of tears: she might cry and she was so nice
Meanwhile
Bruce: mama... *was too preoccupied to the sight of his mother that he didn't notice*
His kids on the other hand..
Dick: I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight
Duke: I am a bit concerned-
Jason: that was... a bit disturbing..
Cassandra:.... ew..
Damian, looks unfaze on the outside but is disturb on the inside: so that is what grandma sounds like
Tim: ....*sips the remnants of his coffee*
Stephanie: why did I chose to come and visit today?
Barbara, watched through a computer: did their throat hurt?
Isekai Reader: can I please get an ice cream and be left alone to sulk?
Isekai! Reader/you: *crying while holding their big ass plushie* I fucking hate ghost possession, why can’t it be the boring kind of possession!
Dick: *pats their back* there there.
Jason: *brings them a blanket and drapes it over their shoulders* first time for everything.
Duke: *bringing them a tube of ice cream* everything will be fine…hopefully.
Damian: I’m not good with comforting others. *brings out Titus who makes himself comfortable on isekai! Reader’s lap*
Cassandra: I wish I could say it won’t happen again…but it will and hopefully we won’t all be traumatised…again.
Stephanie: how does watching some videos of these doofuses falling sound? *gets her phone out and starts showing funny videos of everyone -except Dick- falling on their asses*
Isekai! Reader/you: you’re all shit at comforting people but I’ll take what I can get from a family of emotionally stunted vigilantes.
Damian: isn’t ghostly possession an agreement on both sides?
Isekai! Reader/ you: not exactly in most cases but with your grandmother, yes.
Damian: you didn’t reject her.
Isekai! Reader/you: she’s too lovely of a woman to reject as after every possession she feels bad and I have to tell her it’s okay.
*flashback to after Martha possessed reader to talk to Bruce*
Isekai!reader/ you: *on the floor, holding your knees to your chest as you stare blankly into the distance*
Martha: I’m sorry! I didn’t think it would happen like that! I thought I would just take over your body and not like that!
Isekai! Reader/ you: it’s okay…I’m fine really just…just a little traumatised and am never going to trust any ghost possession scenes ever again cuz that was utter bullshit.
*back to Damian and isekai! Reader/you*
Damian: …we shall speak of this no longer.
Isekai! Reader/you: for once I agree with you demon spawn.
..
Isekai! Reader/ you: *petting Titus and Ace while Alfred the cat sat on your lap* this is nice.
*Terry the turkey walks past you, stops and looks at you*🦃
Isekai! Reader/you: *blinks* hi
Terry the turkey: 🦃 *walks off*
Isekai! Reader: you: fucking rich people and their weird ass animals.
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jeonsblackgf-writes · 3 days ago
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Every inch of you | Eddie Munson
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summary: you’re insecure about yourself after having a baby. as your husband, its eddie’s job to reassure you no matter what.
warnings: none
word count: 2,554
pairing: Eddie Munson x black!reader
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The soft hum of a lullaby drifted through the room, a faint melody playing from the baby monitor on the dresser. The night outside was still, the only light in the room coming from the soft glow of the nightlight beside the crib. The baby, barely a few weeks old, lay in her crib, her tiny form curled up in the soft blankets.
You were sitting on the edge of the bed, your eyes staring down at the remnants of your pregnancy—your body having undergone so much in the past months. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of disconnection, a weight on your heart that wasn’t from exhaustion, but from something deeper. You’d just given birth to your beautiful daughter, but somehow, looking at yourself in the mirror, you didn’t feel like you recognized the woman staring back at you. Your body had changed. You weren’t the same, and though you knew you shouldn’t feel this way, you couldn’t stop the insecurity from bubbling to the surface.
A soft knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts.
“Hey, you good?” Eddie’s voice called, the warmth of his tone doing little to quell the storm inside your mind.
You sighed, wiping your hand over your face. “Yeah, just… just tired.”
The door creaked open, and Eddie stepped inside, his eyes immediately finding yours. His dark hair was messy, his usual wild curls even more chaotic after a long day of being up with the baby. He wore a faded band tee and a pair of loose jeans, but it was the way he moved—slow and deliberate—that made you pause. You had always noticed how gentle he was with you, but these past weeks, as new parents, you’d seen a side of him that made your heart swell.
Eddie’s brown eyes softened as he took in the sight of you sitting there, lost in thought. His gaze flickered to the baby, then back to you. Without a word, he crossed the room, sitting next to you on the bed.
“Hey,” he said quietly, his hand gently brushing against your back as he reached for you. “You okay?”
You didn’t answer right away, instead, you looked at the baby—your baby—her tiny chest rising and falling with each soft breath. She had Eddie’s eyes, dark and intense, and your skin—smooth, rich, and radiant. You loved her more than anything. But still… you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had lost something in the process.
“I just… I don’t know, Eddie.” Your voice cracked, and you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “I just don’t feel like me anymore.”
Eddie’s hand was now resting on your knee, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just letting you process what you were feeling. He knew you were overwhelmed, but he also knew that this was something you’d have to work through in your own time. The one thing he was sure of, though, was that you didn’t have to do it alone.
“Listen to me, okay?” Eddie said softly, his voice steady and comforting. “You are more than just your body. You’re… everything to me. And you’re everything to our daughter.”
You met his gaze, and something in his eyes made your heart twist—soft, sincere, and full of love.
“I know you’re probably not feeling the greatest about everything right now. You’re adjusting, just like I am. But—” He stopped, his words a little more playful, his lips curling up at the edges. “—you’re still the woman I fell in love with. The one with that amazing smile, and the way you laugh when you think something is funny, even when it’s a little dumb. You’re still you, babe.”
A laugh escaped your lips at his words, but it was tinged with sorrow. “I just feel like I’m not—”
“You’re still beautiful.” Eddie interrupted gently. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know, and I don’t mean that just because you’re my wife. I mean it in every possible way.” He took your hand in his, his thumb brushing the top of your knuckles. “I can see it, in the way you hold our daughter, the way you care for her, how gentle you are with her, even when you’re completely exhausted. You’re perfect to me. And you’re perfect for her.
You swallowed hard, the tears you’d been trying to hold back threatening to spill over. “I don’t feel perfect. I don’t even feel like myself right now, Eddie.”
He let out a soft breath, his thumb rubbing over your hand in slow, tender motions. His gaze never left yours, the love in his eyes so raw and true that it made your chest tighten.
“I get it,” Eddie said, his voice low and sincere. “But what I see in you, babe… it’s not just your body. I mean, you’ve got the most beautiful body I’ve ever seen, but it’s more than that. It’s the way you care, the way you love with everything you have. The way you put everyone else’s needs first. I’ve never seen anyone more selfless, and more… incredible than you.”
You shook your head gently, feeling the weight of his words, but still unsure of yourself. “I’ve changed, Eddie. I don’t look the same. I don’t feel the same.”
Eddie moved closer to you, his hand on your cheek now, his thumb gently wiping away a tear that had slipped down your face.
“You’ve had a baby, sweetheart.” He smiled softly, his lips brushing against your forehead as he whispered, “That’s gonna change things. But that doesn’t mean you’re any less of the woman I love. You know that, right?”
You nodded, but your eyes fell to the blankets, the weight of your thoughts still clouding your mind. Eddie’s finger lifted your chin so that you were forced to meet his gaze.
“Look at me,” he said softly, his voice steady and reassuring. “You’re not alone in this. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, every step of the way. You’re perfect, just as you are, and that’s how I see you. Always.”
His hand slid from your cheek down to your collarbone, his fingers gently tracing the soft curves of your body. “I see you, all of you. And you’re more beautiful than you’ve ever been.”
The words settled in your chest like a warm balm, and you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes as you leaned into him. Eddie’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a wave of peace wash over you.
The room was quiet for a moment, save for the sound of your baby’s soft, steady breathing. You rested your head on Eddie’s shoulder, letting his warmth envelop you. He wasn’t pushing, just letting you be. And somehow, in that moment, you knew he was right. You were still you.
“I love you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.
Eddie kissed the top of your head, his hand running gently through your hair. “I love you more than you’ll ever know. And nothing, not even time, can change that.”
You stayed like that for a while, in the quiet stillness of the night, wrapped in each other’s arms. With Eddie by your side, you could face anything, even the uncertainty that came with motherhood and the changes in your body.
And when you looked at your daughter, peacefully sleeping in her crib, you realized that this new chapter—this beautiful, chaotic, life-changing chapter—was something you could navigate, with Eddie and your little girl by your side.
The room was peaceful now, the baby monitor quietly hums as you and Eddie sat together in the dim light. The quiet, soft breathing of your daughter, still in her crib, was the only sound that filled the space, but you felt like the air between you and Eddie was thick with something deeper, something comforting.
Eddie’s hand still rested on your knee, his fingers occasionally brushing against the skin of your leg as he just… sat with you. He didn’t say anything more at first, but his presence was enough. You could feel his steady heartbeat, the calm energy that radiated from him. He was here, with you, and somehow that made all the difference.
You leaned into him a little more, letting his warmth seep into you, feeling the comfort of his embrace, as though he was giving you the strength to keep going, even when you felt like you didn’t have enough.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words falling out before you could stop them. You weren’t even sure why you felt the need to apologize. “I’ve just been… so hard on myself.”
Eddie shook his head gently, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he leaned back against the headboard, pulling you into his side even more. “You don’t have to apologize for that. You’ve been through a lot.” His fingers brushed your hair back from your face, his touch gentle, like he was trying to smooth away every worry you had. “You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling right now. You just had a baby.”
You nodded but couldn’t quite look at him. The insecurity still lingered, despite his words. Your body had changed, and you couldn’t help but feel like a stranger in your own skin.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” Eddie said suddenly, his voice low, almost like he was speaking to himself. He was looking down at you now, his hand resting on your lower back, the touch grounding you, reminding you that you weren’t alone in this.
“I feel anything but incredible,” you murmured.
“You are,” he repeated, more firmly this time. “I’ve seen you grow, not just as a woman, but as a mother, and honestly, I’m in awe of you.”
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard. You looked up at him then, finding him staring at you with so much tenderness that it made your heart ache in the best way. His dark eyes were soft, filled with admiration and love. He wasn’t just talking about your looks—he was talking about the person you were. The mother of his child. The woman who made him feel whole.
“Eddie…” You trailed off, not sure how to respond, but his fingers on your chin coaxed you to look up at him fully.
“I mean it, babe,” he said, his voice hushed. “I’ve never seen anyone do what you’ve done with so much grace. So much strength. You brought our daughter into this world—into our world—and you’re doing it with a love that’s so… so fierce.”
You swallowed, feeling the tightness in your chest again. It wasn’t just from the exhaustion anymore. It was the realization that maybe, just maybe, Eddie was right. Maybe you could give yourself some grace too.
“Look at you,” Eddie continued softly, his hand gently cupping your face. “You’re sitting here, taking care of us, still managing to look after her, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you for it. You’re beautiful inside and out.”
His thumb stroked the curve of your cheek, a subtle reminder of just how much he adored you. You felt your breath hitch, the emotional weight of everything—of motherhood, of the changes in your body, and of the love you felt for him and your daughter—felt so overwhelming in the best way.
“Eddie, I…” You stopped yourself, not quite sure how to express what you were feeling. “I’m scared sometimes. That I won’t look the same. Or that I won’t be enough. That I won’t… be the wife or the mother you deserve.”
Eddie’s expression softened even more, and his voice was thick with emotion when he spoke next. “Stop it,” he said gently but firmly. “You are everything I need. And every part of you is exactly what I want. I don’t care if your body’s different, or if you feel a little lost right now. You’ve given me the best gift I could ever ask for: you gave me our daughter, and you’re everything she’s ever going to need.”
His words hit deep. You had known how much he loved the baby. But hearing him say that he loved you—all of you, changes and insecurities and all—was something else entirely.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie continued, his lips brushing against your temple as he kissed your skin softly. “I’m right here, with you, always.”
You pressed your face against his chest then, not saying anything for a long moment, just feeling the rise and fall of his breath. Eddie wrapped his arms tighter around you, pulling you closer, as if to emphasize his words.
“You’ve got this, baby. You’ve always had this. You’re not alone.”
You closed your eyes, taking in the sound of his steady heartbeat. You knew he meant it. And in that moment, you realized that, while it was okay to feel uncertain and vulnerable, you had something—someone—who made it easier. Eddie had always been your rock. He always would be.
“I love you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but Eddie heard it, as if the words were a promise that everything would be okay.
He kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment before he answered.
“I love you more than anything.”
The silence between you both felt like a soft cocoon, a quiet assurance that you could take on whatever came next—together.
You sat there for a while, just holding each other, until the baby’s soft cry interrupted the peace. It wasn’t urgent, but Eddie immediately rose from the bed, moving with the same care as he always did when it came to his daughter.
“I’ve got her,” Eddie said, his voice gentle. “You stay right here. Get some rest.”
You watched him, your heart swelling as he carefully lifted the baby from her crib, holding her close to his chest. There was something so beautiful about the way Eddie interacted with your daughter. He was calm, nurturing, and oh-so-patient. Watching him with her made your heart overflow with a different kind of love.
As he cradled her in his arms, rocking her back and forth, you couldn’t help but smile.
Eddie caught your gaze, a mischievous glint in his eyes despite the tenderness of the moment. “I swear, I’m gonna make you fall in love with me all over again if you keep looking at me like that.”
You laughed softly, the sound light and carefree as you nodded. “Already did.”
Eddie smiled back at you, but it wasn’t just a smile. It was the kind of smile that spoke of a deep, unshakeable connection—the kind that only grew stronger with time.
As you watched him with your daughter, you realized something: You had everything you needed. Your body might not feel like it used to, and you might have moments of doubt, but Eddie was right there by your side. And that was all that mattered.
Together, the three of you were unstoppable. And maybe, just maybe, that was the most beautiful thing of all.
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brightlight-dazzlingeyes · 9 hours ago
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what am i to you | pablo gavi [part ii]
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🌧️ synopsis: In an attempt to get over Pablo, you go on a date, only to end up in the hospital with a sprained ankle. When Pablo shows up uninvited, trying to take care of you, the moment turns into a full-blown fight. tags: angst, unrequited love, emotional tension. (written in 2nd person but no mention of yn) (around 2.5k words)
you can read the first part here.
After the confession, you both said you'd stay in each other's lives, like nothing had changed. You promised. But promises, you realize, are easier said than kept.
The calls become even rarer, and when they do come, they’re awkward, halting. He used to be the first person you’d call when you were bored, the one you’d go to when you needed to vent or laugh, and now? Now you just… don’t.
That’s when you meet him – this other guy. He’s nice, funny enough, interested. And he’s not Pablo. You don’t have butterflies, but there’s a kind of safety in that, a relief in the way he looks at you with no expectations, no memories weighing you down. So when he asks you out, you say yes, not because you’re excited, but because you’re desperate to move forward, to stop feeling like you’re stuck in that moment when Pablo said, “I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you want.”
The night of the date, you’re almost ready when your phone rings. It’s Pablo, and your heart jumps, he hasn’t called in weeks, and it’s like he knew, like he somehow sensed that you were trying to step away from him for good.
You answer, trying to sound normal. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he says, his voice distant, like he’s not sure if he’s intruding. “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah,” you say, trying to keep it casual. You’re trying to decide between two different shoes for the date, and it feels wrong. “I guess we’ve both been… busy.”
It’s a lie, and you both know it. But you’re not about to get into that now. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, all dressed up, ready to leave.
“Actually,” you interrupt, “I’m kind of in a hurry. I have… plans.”
There’s a beat of silence, and you can almost picture the look on his face – confused, caught off guard. “Plans?” he asks, and you can hear an edge in his voice now, one he’s trying to hide. “Like… a date?”
“Yeah,” you say, forcing yourself to sound like it’s not a big deal. “I’m going out with someone.”
“With who?”
“Just… someone I met,” you say, trying to brush it off, “We’ve only talked a couple of times.”
There’s silence, and you’re about to check if he’s still on the line when he says, “So that’s what you’re doing now? Just going out with random guys?”
You get defensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know,” he snaps, his anger leaking into his words. “It’s just… you’re already –” He stumbles over the words, his voice tight. “Is that what you want now?”
“It’s not like that,” you insist, feeling the heat rise in your face. “You’re the one who –” You stop yourself because you promised you wouldn’t do this. You wouldn't blame him. But he doesn’t make it easy.
He lets out a bitter laugh, and it cuts deeper than you’d like to admit. “No, go ahead. Say it.”
You swallow hard, fighting the urge to lash back. “I miss you,” you say.
“It doesn’t look like you do,” he says quietly, and there’s a hurt there you didn’t expect. 
Your chest tightens, and you can feel the tears burning at the back of your eyes. “Pablo, you stopped calling,” you say, your voice breaking. “You left me here alone, what was I supposed to do?”
He doesn’t respond right away, and you wish you could see his face, wish you could understand what’s going through his mind. “I just… I thought we’d be okay,” he says finally, his voice sounding defeated. “That we’d get through this. Together.”
You take a shaky breath. “I thought so too,” you admit. There’s a silence that stretches on, heavy and suffocating.
“Yeah, well,” he mutters, “have fun on your date.” And then he hangs up before you can say another word, leaving you staring at your reflection, feeling like you’ve lost him all over again.
part 2
The date wasn’t going great, you didn’t have much in common with the guy, and things got even worse. One minute you’re walking across the street after dinner, pretending to laugh at some lame joke he made, and the next, your ankle twists under you, the pain shooting up your leg like a lightning bolt. You try to catch yourself, but you land hard, knees buckling beneath you.
The guy freaks out, asking if you're okay, but all you can focus on is the pulsing pain in your ankle. You're pretty sure it's sprained, but you're too embarrassed to admit it right away. He helps you up, practically carrying you to the nearest bench, and that's when you finally let yourself wince in pain.
A trip to the hospital later and you’re sitting in one of those sterile, white rooms, cradling your swollen ankle in your lap. Nothing too serious, just a sprain, but it’s enough to make you feel like an idiot. The guy’s hovering by the door, looking uncomfortable, like he wants to leave but doesn't know how. You can’t blame him. The awkwardness between you is palpable, and this was supposed to be a fun night.
You’re ready to get out of there, but you don't want to be alone for the discharge process. The guy’s already looking at his phone like he’s counting the minutes. So, you make a decision.
You pull out your phone, thinking of someone nearby, someone who won’t make things more awkward. Aurora. You don’t really want to call her, but she lives in the neighborhood, and you can’t stand the idea of sitting here with the date guy. It's nothing against him – well, maybe it is, but you really just need a friend right now.
You hit call, and it rings a few times before she picks up, her voice bright and concerned.
“Hey, what’s up? You good?”
“I’m at the hospital,” you say quickly, the words sounding so much worse than they feel. “I sprained my ankle on the date, can you come? Please?”
Aurora doesn’t even hesitate. “Of course, I’m on my way.” You end the call, grateful she’s coming, and feeling a lot better knowing someone familiar will be here soon.
A few minutes later, the door swings open. You expect it to be Aurora, but when you look up, you freeze.
Pablo stands there, his eyes wide with concern, his posture stiff. And right next to him, Aurora is visibly cringing, her face flushed red. She’s holding her hands up in an apologetic gesture. “I didn’t mean to –” she starts, but Pablo cuts her off.
“Are you okay?” His voice is frantic, as if you’re on the brink of death instead of sitting there with a sprained ankle.
You blink, taken aback by how he’s acting.
“I’m fine,” you say, a little too forcefully, but the last thing you need right now is to be treated like a patient. “Just a sprain. Nothing serious.”
Pablo doesn’t look convinced. He steps into the room, eyes scanning your ankle. He’s clearly overreacting, but it’s hard to argue with him when he’s looking at you like that.
Aurora stands off to the side, a sheepish look on her face. “I’m sorry, I called him,” she whispers. “I thought you’d want him to know.”
“Really?” you ask, a little irritated now, because it’s clear Pablo doesn’t know how to handle this. You’re still pissed at him for the phone call earlier, but now? Now it feels like he’s intruding, even though you’re happy to see him, just not like this.
Pablo, still standing too close, suddenly shifts his weight, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know, I just… I thought I should be here,” he says, his voice a little quieter, like he’s realizing how ridiculous he’s being.
“I’m fine,” you repeat, trying to lighten the mood. “Seriously. I’m just waiting to be discharged.”
Before you can say anything else, the date guy clears his throat. You turn to see him stepping forward.
"Um, should I leave?" His voice is a little too high-pitched, trying to be polite but also clearly uncomfortable now that Pablo’s here. Pablo, who’s still looking at you like he’s trying to figure out if you’re dying, shifts his eyes to the guy standing by the door.
“Who even are you?” Pablo’s tone is confused, but there's also a sharpness to it now, something territorial. It doesn’t make sense, but you can feel the weirdness between them.
You open your mouth, about to explain, but Pablo cuts you off.
“Is that the guy you just had a date with?” His eyes rake over him. "Yeah, you can leave now. I got it." He waves him off, voice firm and final, like he’s the one in charge here.
“Pablo, what the hell?” you snap. Your blood’s boiling, you look over at the date guy, who’s still standing there like he’s waiting for a command. “Yeah, you can go now,” you say, softer, sweeter than Pablo, but the sentiment’s the same. “Thanks for bringing me here.”
Pablo scoffs, and it’s the kind of sound that tells you he’s annoyed, but it’s also kind of funny, considering he’s the one who’s ruining the moment. You’re not sure if he’s jealous or if he’s just being an idiot, but it pisses you off all the same.
Once the date guy leaves, the silence between you and Pablo is loud. You cross your arms, staring at him like you’re daring him to keep pushing.
“Well, now you can leave!” you say, voice cool, as you face him. 
Pablo doesn't budge, though. "And how are you going home?" He sounds offended, like you’ve done something wrong by even suggesting that he should leave.
You roll your eyes. “Aurora can take me,” you mutter, already tired of the back-and-forth.
Pablo’s face twitches like he’s winning the argument. “I drove Aurora here,” he says, smug. Like the fact that he’s the one with the car makes him the one in control now.
Your eyes narrow, but deep down, you know you’ve got no choice. “Fine,” you grumble, defeated.
part 3
Pablo’s arms are strong, but his touch is gentle as he picks you up, carrying you bridal style like it’s the most natural thing in the world. His hands are steady as he lifts you, his face close to yours, it makes you feel like you're back in that place where everything between you two was simple. But that’s not the reality anymore, is it?
He doesn’t say a word as he carries you to the couch, setting you down so gently it’s almost too much. You want to tell him to back off, to let you handle it, but you catch something in his eyes that stops you – he’s looking at you like you’re the most important thing in the world, and you can’t deal with that, not right now.
“It’s just a sprain,” you say, but your voice cracks halfway through, and you hate yourself for it. You hate how kind he’s being, how his touch makes everything hurt even more.
Pablo shakes his head. “I miss you too,” he says, his voice low, almost broken. It’s a call back to the phone call, to what you said earlier, and it’s like he’s holding onto those words for dear life.
Your heart feels like it’s about to shatter. “Then let me go,” you whisper, tears streaming down your face. “We can’t be friends if I’m in love with you, you idiot.”
He’s closer now, wiping the tears from your cheek, his hand lingering longer than it should. He’s too close, and you’re drowning in it. But you let him stay because, in some twisted way, it’s all you have left of him.
“Don’t go on dates with idiots,” he says, his voice is exasperated. “You don’t need them. You just need to be with me, and we can make it work. We can go back to how it was. I promise.”
You shake your head, trying to stop the tears that just won’t quit. “Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean no one else will,” you say, the words bitter on your tongue. “Don’t act like I can’t find someone who can make me happy.”
Pablo’s face hardens, his eyes narrowing. “You’re just doing this to get back at me, and you know it.”
You almost laugh, shaking your head. “I’m not trying to get back at you, I’m trying to move on. I can’t keep pretending we’re okay.”
“You don’t need someone else,” he says through gritted teeth, his hand clenched into a fist. “You never needed anyone else. You’ve always had me.”
“Not anymore,” you snap, your anger flaring. “I don’t have you anymore! You’ve shut me out like nothing happened!”
His eyes flash, he steps closer, his hand reaching out for you, but you flinch back, afraid of how close he is, afraid of what it means. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he says, his voice so small. “I just... I didn’t know what to do.”
“You didn’t have to do anything,” you say, your whole body trembling. “You just had to stay.”
His face falls, and for a second, you almost reach out to him. But you stop yourself. “I want my best friend back,” he says, his voice cracking.
“You don’t get that,” you shout, the words rushing out. “You can’t pretend I’m the same person I was before any of this happened. I’m not!”
“I don’t care!” His voice rises, raw and desperate. “I don’t care if it’s different, I just want you in my life. I don’t know what to do without you.”
You pull away. “You can’t keep saying that.”
He looks at you, devastated. He’s leaning closer now, his hand on your knee, his thumb rubbing circles against your skin. It’s like he’s pretending nothing’s changed, pretending this is how things always were.
“Pablo –"
You push against his chest, the tears running down your face now, uncontrollable. “Please, just leave,” you say, your voice shaking, but you mean it.
You’ve had enough. You’re done.
But Pablo just looks at you, he doesn’t move, doesn’t leave, and for a moment, you’re sure he’s not going to listen.
“Please,” you beg, your voice breaking. "Just go."
Pablo’s hand brushes his own cheek, wiping away a tear he hadn’t realized fell. He speaks like he's trying to convince himself more than you. “I’ll come back,” he says. “To check on your injury, make sure you’re better.”
He looks away quickly. “I’ll take care of you... like you took care of me.” His words hang in the air, painfully.
You watch him go, every step tearing at you. As the door closes, you stare at it for a second, your body tensing as if it’s about to snap in two. And then you can’t take it anymore. You reach for the nearest pillow, throwing it at the door with every ounce of anger you’ve been holding inside.
“Idiot!” you scream, everything hurts – your heart, your head, your stupid, stupid tears.
You sit there, staring at the door, feeling the ache spread through your chest. It hits you like a punch – you haven’t touched him, haven’t held him in over a month. It feels like the end of everything, and it’s crushing you.
You curl up on the couch, hugging yourself, wishing things could go back to how they were before everything went wrong. But they can’t. All you have is the emptiness he left behind, and it’s swallowing you whole.
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mysteriouslyjovialcolor · 16 hours ago
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Las Vegas 2024
-Fun Fact: Listening to the national anthem at 12:50 am does not make you feel more awake, but hearing a 1S song in the background of the pre-race interviews does
-Props to Franco Colapinto and the Williams garage for getting back into shape so quickly
-Charles!!! Let’s go!! He really loves those p4s!! How does he manage those starts???
-“It’s a brave man who makes a move against Kevin Magnussen” Hehe
-Go Nico!
-Alpine being the bane of my existence right now
-Seeing Yuki and Nico in p7 and p8 just feels right
-Fernando Alonso is just going for it! I need him to have a good race for once
-Also, Zhou p12??
-“Here comes Charles Leclerc…” And there goes Max Verstappen!!
-Alonso?? Oh he had softs on
-Oscar false start?
-Alpine, you’re back to being good babe
-“I think Charles has to get this move done on George Russel” I think his move on Carlos Sainz was what was more important
-Woah that replay between Kevin and Liam, so close to contact
-Come on Lewis, come on, come on
-Ohmygodd Max!! Lewis!! Aaaaah!
-Yuki and Pierre!!
-Why the hell are the graphics showing Charles p4? Fix that immediately!
-Lewis! Lewis! Lewis!
-Charles and Lando pitting now??
-Ferrari if you mess this up for me I will be having words
-Max and Lewis again!! Making moves!
-Max stuck in a Mercedes sandwich. It’s giving old times
-Okay it’s fine I guess, the pit stop, for Ferrari (but why is Charles behind Carlos)
-Okay Red Bull be good
-No way Merc is double stacking… yeah they’re not
-Okay okayyy Ferrari
-Oh no Ocon? What was that pit stop?
-Would it be crazy for me to manifest a Hulk podium? Yeahh, never mind, he just dropped way down after that stop
-Cool how George still got back out in the lead after pitting
-“No power!” Oh no Pierre. Oh god that’s so unfortunate, so so unfortunate
-Come on Lewis, come on, come on
-Yes!
-Ah Yuki!!
-Charles and Checo (Vegas 2023 I miss you)!
-Okay Checo really needs to pit now
-“I think Hamilton unquestionably has the pace” I’ve been waiting so long to hear that
-We forgot way to quickly how bad that Alpine was, Brazil got us dreaming too big
-“We’ll come back to you” agshsjsvshajnabs
-The way I’ve been urging Lewis on for the last five laps
-Nico! Nico! Nico!
-Lol how is Yuki stuck in a McLaren sandwich again
-“Man these guys are fast on the straights”
-Can people stop with the “shelf-life” comments? So distasteful
-Zhou’s doing pretty well isn’t he?
-“Can we just get a race without problems?” Alex I’m so sorry
-How are Checo and Liam even near each other right now?
-Oh come on Charles
-“Swap positions” Ooh I wasn’t expecting that. Are Ferrari finally taking things seriously??
-Oh my god, Carlos whyyyy?
-“Stay out, stay out, stay out” Come on!!
-Checo finally overtaking the Sauber
-Why not have just let Carlos come in?? Now he might have a penalty? Surely that’s not good
-“Wake up guys! Come on!” Ughhh
-Why hasn’t Lando pit yet?
-I am still so annoyed about Ferrari. What are you doing??
-“His arch rival- nemesis really” The 2021 season was really one for the ages
-I love when Max knows when to play it safe
-George having so much time between him and p2 to pit
-How was I praising Ferrari strategy five seconds earlier?
-How many times are we going make a joke about Yuki’s airport incident? Please just shut up
-Okay Sauber, I had way too much faith in your pit stops there for a second
-If Merc pulls team orders I will scream
-“ All the traffic in one group behind Tsonoda” Why’d that make me laugh
-It’s so funny how I was saying this is giving old times, with a Merc 1-2 and Max p3
-Alonso!!
-Woah Checo! Let’s go! That’s was amazing!!
-“Do you want me to try and keep them behind or what?” “I think you should yeah”
-Still don’t get why Carlos is ahead there
-So confused about this whole Ferrari situation. What is going on?
-Like how is Carlos somehow helping Max cover off his teammate?
-Last five laps. I know we have this in the bag but I’m not trusting that car until it crosses the checkered flag
-“What a talent. What a team” LETS GO BABY
-“He picked his battles well” YES HE DID
-“It’s victory in Vegas” “That’s four in a row Max, four in a row” “Ohmygodd what a season”
-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
-“Vegas baby” I wonder if the baby George fan was awake to see this
-“Formation flying for Mercedes-Benz”
-“Never thought this was possible” The way he pulled through right when it was critical
-Yea!! 4! 4! 4!
-Aw this team
-George and Max hugging! Yuki congratulating Max! Max and Fernando!!
-The other team mechanics nodding their head in acknowledgment>>>
-Aah so happy right now!!
-“I also have to go there?” He’s so cuteee
-“Oh he’s got his own car” Haha
-Max and GP!!
-“I think they got a little spoiled last year with the wins” 😭😭 MAX
-The chants of “Max, Max, Max” in the background>>>
-Ah I’m so so happy
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aesthetic-uni · 1 day ago
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Okay Arcane Season 2 Final reaction -Episode 7
I am freaking the FUCK out
In case anyone is wondering, Jinx is my favorite, I want happiness for her, don’t get me wrong I love all the others but if she’s not happy by the end of this you won’t ever see me again
Opening vinyl-I literally stopped breathing ID THAT EKKO AND JINX AGSJRBLDJ?!?!
My king Ekko, where have you been all this time. Please come home we miss you
EKKO?! And is that little drawing Jinx??
OH ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TIME BABEY so many fanfics are going to go off this I can tell
EKKO!! He looks so handsome and alive!!! (My hopes for these characters ARE VERY LOW AS YOU CAN TELL)
Jinx looks so cute!!!
BENZO!! Oh my fucking god is this going to be a Happy Universe that NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO GET?! I’m going to throw myself off a cliff.
Oh my god no one ever address Ekko’s trauma with Benzo I’m so glad they’re doing it THAT WAS HIS DAD!!
This is cruel. This is just cruel how DARE they give us a happy au
No Netflix I will not skip the intro fuck off
AAAAW EKKO NOO SEEING EVERYTHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN
God Jinx looks SO CUTE I need so much fanart of her
Ps I know this is technically Powder, I’m too lazy to constantly switch names so Jinx
Also does she have a pink streak in her hair? I don’t like the implications of that
Aaaaaw they’re partners :((((
MYLO AND CLAGGOR HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU OH FUCK OH GOD
Wait omg “Trouble in paradise” TIMEBOMB?!
I have gotten through THREE MINUTES OF THIS SHOW
Oh that cute Jinxer is here woo! Lmao Mylo is so real.
Aaaw Claggor he’s trying to help the city and he cares about his little sister AND HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ARCANE
AAAW JINX TRYING TO HELP MYLO FUCKING HELL ARCANE
“WHAT WOULD THEY DO WITHOUT YOU” JESUS CHRIST ARCANE
Okay this isn’t funny anymore where’s Vi
Okay but is it OUR professor?! (I can’t spell his name)
IT IS!!
Okay but WHY what’s happening with Jayce?!
VI VI VI VI VI
OH NO JAYCE WHY CANT HE BE HAPPY TOO?!
Ooooh his HAMMER is why he got sent to the apocalypse au huh
Is that evil Viktor. Is that the Machine Herald? IS IT TIME FOR GLORIOUS EVOLUTION?!
Wow I was just joking with the apocalypse au but it really was it huh?
Aw I like that Jinx kept her workshop
Is that a heart. Around a picture of them. IS TIMEBOMB ACTUALLY CANON IN THIS UNIVERSE?!
Wait, is this THEIR WORKSHOP?!
FUCK I KNEW VI WAS GOING TO BE DEAD GOD DAMN IT
Oh this isn’t happy at all :(
OH FUCK THIS ISNT HAPPY AT ALL
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT HOLY HELL?! OH MY GOD THERE WAS NO REASON FOR SHOWING ME THAT
Way to hammer it in Arcane for no fucking reason other than MAKING ME CRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT. LIKE I GOT IT. VI IS DEAD IN THAT UNIVERSE. DIDNT NEED TO SHOW ME HER SIBLINGS REACTING TO HER DEATH
GLORIOUS EVOLUTION HORROR
Oh god not doomed Timebomb IN THE FUCKING HAPPY AU
Poor Jayce just has to fucking go through it huh
Wow that is an understatement.
Okay but MelJayVik crumbs ILL TAKE IT
YEAH THE PERSEVERE JAYCE!!!!
NO STOP MAKING ME CRY WITH THE HAPPY AU
There’s not much I can say with Jayce other than holy fuck this poor man
God they could have been partners. They could have been the brightest minds in all of Zaun. They could have been HAPPY. I fucking hate this show why would you show me this. I’m never going to recover
HE BROKE TIME BABY!!! FOUR SECONDS BACKWARDS LETS GOOOO
God they are so in love. God this is going to kill me
Oh my god the fanartists and editors are going to MURDER me with the “Do you think we together in every universe” trend aren’t they?
SILCO?! ZAUNDADS CANON?!
Ekko hold on. EKKO HOLD ON.
Oh my god this reference to season 1 episode 4 how fucking dare you
HOW DARE YOU MAKE TIMEBOMB CANON LIKE THIS?! AURRRGGGHHHH
Ripping my hair out. Clawing my eyes out. Beating my chest until it caves in. This is everything I could ever want. HOW. DARE. YOU.
I love them. I love them so much. Why would you do this to me.
IM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK
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breadlover64 · 2 days ago
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BINGQIU VS LIUSHEN/ANY OTHER SHIP WITH SQQ PART 1
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BEWARE I HAVENT READ SVSSS IN A WHILE AND I MIGHT’VE MISSED SOME STUFF! Feel free to correct and give your opinions about this.
Theres gonna be two parts to this bc tumblr can’t take all my writing sooooo 😛
In the SVSSS fandom, I’ve noticed that compared to other mxtx’s novels, the mc gets shipped with half of the cast more often and is more widely accepted in the fandom compared to the tgcf and mdzs fandoms (if you ship Hualian or Wangxian with anyone, it will get you death threats, istg 😓). However, with Shen Qingqiu, while of course he gets shipped with his love interests, another really popular one is him with Liu Qingge and many other characters in the novel. I do think this also has to do with the fact that the fandom is more chill than the other two fandoms. Shen Qingqiu in general is just VERY shippable. But why? Why do some people like liushen more than bingqiu? Obviously, I know this is simply a preference, but why do people prefer it more than the canon couple? Well, I have some speculations. First, while I love Bingqiu, I can admit that their relationship is not for everyone; even for me, they’re my least favorite main couple of the three (it's just my opinion, DONT ATTACK ME🙏) because their dynamic can be seen as somewhat toxic. Luo Binghe is very obsessive and kind of yandare like in the novel, and yes, he does have character development and regrets his actions and never really wanted to hurt Shen Qingqiu. I personally don’t feel like we see as much of this development until the very end. At least for me, I feel like we should’ve spent more time with a changed Luo Binghe, and I KNOW he was influenced by Xi Mo. I still didn’t feel completely satisfied with the Luo Binghe arc. I do think we see more of his development in the extras, which is what made me like Bingqiu a lot more, but I just wish we could’ve seen this in the main story instead of optional extras because I think the extras really show Luo Binghe’s growth and his love for Shen Qingqiu in a healthier way. I am aware this boy is very mentally ill. While I’m not a writer, as a reader, I think mxtx could’ve done more for him because he can end up more dislikable for some people and just less appealing of a love interest. I personally LOVE Luo Binghe and how chaotic he is, but again, that is not for everyone, so I can definitely see why some people don’t like him as much. With Shen Qingqiu, this is a bit different. I felt that by the end of the novel he had massive progress and huge development for his character; even if he still has his flaws, you can really tell he has changed and grown throughout the story, but he’s still himself if that makes sense. I felt wayyy more satisfied with his arc than Luo Binghe's; however, I will say that Shen Qingqiu has this sort of shame. While I wouldn’t necessarily call it internalized homophobia, he does have this sort of stigma towards gay people and him being gay himself. And while it can be funny, if you really think about it, even by the end of the novel and in the extras he still has this shame of sleeping with Binghe and showing basic affection, but I won’t really criticize this much because he does improve in this a lot by the extras. By that point, it really feels more like shyness than the shame he felt at the beginning when he first discovered Luo Binghe's feelings. So I will argue that Shen Qingqiu arc is pretty well done and concluded by the end of the book; at least to me, it really did feel like he changed. Okay, so the second reason is because Bingqiu got together when they were both still ‘not at their best’. What do I mean by this? Well in tgcf Xie lian had to endure a lot of torture and experience several traumatic situations and almost released face disease and killed a bunch of people with it. He was clearly very mentally unwell! And for Hua Cheng, he also went through a lot of trauma with his mom dying when he was young and the abuse he went through from his father and the kids who made fun of him to the point where he wanted to end his life, and then later he became a ghost with his parasocial attachment to a god. We see these characters at their worst, but when they get together, they are already 800+ years old and have lived a long life and matured and learned from their experiences.
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rita-repulsa-ke · 2 days ago
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Love Languages Pt 2
“Hey, Rio. What would you do if I left?”
“Come and find you.”
”…What if I left voluntarily?”
“Come and find you.”
“Ooookay. What if I left voluntarily and I didn’t want you to come and find me?”
“…Same thing. But also, don’t do that.”
“So no matter what, you’re going to come after me? That’s a little unnerving.”
“Maybe. You are smiling, though.”
“Well, it's also a teensy bit romantic, in a disturbing way. I’ll just have to hide really, really well….hey! Hey, Rio!”
“Don’t joke about that.”
“…Wow, that is a lot of vines. I am genuinely impressed by how fast you grew those, I think that’s a new record. ...Could the vines let me go now, please?”
“…fine.”
“So. That really bothered you, huh?”
“Yes, Agatha. Not being able to see you would really bother me.”
"Love, you know I was only joking. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“…s’nice. Hey, Ags? Don’t tease me about this one.”
“...I’ll try?”
“Try really, really hard.”
“It’s just, teasing is kind of how I show affection…”
“I know that. Sometimes I really like it. But I won’t like this and then you won’t like it either.”
“Knives?”
“Yes, Agatha, knives.”
“I did not know you were this insecur—okay, right, knives! Good demonstration.”
“...Remember a few seconds ago, when I asked you not to tease me?”
“I can vaguely recollect you saying something to that effect…sorry, sorry! It is sweet, though. I like being the one you want. I even like that you would apparently creepily pursue me forever if I left.”
“…You do?"
"I do. Hand to the Goddess."
“That's romantic.”
“...Is it?”
“It is. And I barely had to threaten you! Agatha, you’re getting better.”
“…Rio, my heart, do you know that, on occasion, you can be very condescending?”
“Sorry. But you know, Ags, teasing is just how I show affection.”
“...You think you're very funny, don't you?”
"Well, I did learn from the best."
Want more silly dialogues? Go read Love Languages Pt 1 or Healthy Communication
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aimfor-theheart · 6 days ago
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men love to try and tee me up for their next relationship while they’re still dating their current gf and i am never interested. NEVER.
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a-concert-just-for-me · 2 months ago
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QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too
Like????????
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heyclickadee · 11 months ago
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So, my family is rewatching Rings of Power, and since I’m the one in the family that read The Silmarillion (like a masochist), I’m the one who keeps getting asked all the questions.
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james-spooky · 2 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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the-worms-in-your-bones · 4 months ago
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Me seeing someone with a cool name: oooooo, what if
Another part of my brain: no. we spent enough time getting to Jonah. we’re not doing it again
#occasionally I get the urge to just hoard names#I think it would be neat#but also like how would I even tell people that#like here’s a list of random ass names that I think sound kind of cool don’t even know if I like them for myself yet#also sometimes it’s a name that’s typically a girls name and if I went hey I kind of like this name I feel like I would end up getting#misgendered and I don’t want to deal with that#it’s so funny because I’ve always wanted to change my name and I wonder how much of that was trans stuff and how much was I just like other#names#like honestly there are points where boneworms feels like more of my name than Jonah#whatever that says about me#I think I got off the point but whatever it’s almost two am#j rambles#coming back to this to rant more in the tags#so like the current names I’m rotating in my head are Silas (not my favorite of the three and I already have a character named this but#still it’s cool) also Sylvester specifically to be called the nickname syl#and nova which I know is a more feminine name but also presenting masculinly with a feminine name would be very gender#love having a weird gender but I feel like other people would be weird about it in a bad way#it’s not like a don’t like Jonah but I think I’ve gotten too used to it if that makes sense#like yeah it’s my name but it’s not as fun anymore#I’m back again#silver is also a cool name#I should really go to bed instead of just adding to the notes of this post#wait wait wait wait#sylver#okay I’m done now#probably
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 7 months ago
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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borom1r · 1 year ago
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I need to fuck him so bad it does, in fact, make me look stupid
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sodacowboy · 2 months ago
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oh. oh no. I don’t know ANYTHING about music.
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