#I am not joking. I am done fucking around
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School (negatively), working in a hospital, being forced to pray in school for over half my life.
Nobody wants that, believe me.
Wolfwalkers, Into the Spider-Verse and Puss in Boots: The Last Wish.
As the DM, I like to joke about my player's characters exploding when they displease me.
I genuinely cannot remember at this point.
No matter how milquetoast an opinion, there will always be at least one person who acts like you've broken the Geneva Conventions.
Going outside. I have agoraphobia.
Nope.
A dog bit me on the face when I was 2 and I only learnt about it a decade later.
Yes. Extremely.
Being around someone or someones who make you happy, safe and loved.
You're allowed to make mistakes. You aren't a bad person.
Working. Mostly.
Maybe try Youtubing?
Being safe.
I'm trans so there's a few things...
My friends, cats, talking about things I find interesting.
See, I'd love to believe in stuff like that but every time I try to dip my toes in these interests, I get bombarded by obvious grifters and the gullible.
I don't have one.
It's quieter and it's nice and dark. I have issues with bright lights.
Again, I kinda wish I could be but am completely put off by the sheer quantity of grifters who exploit things like this.
They're so much better than they think they are, talking to them is so much fun and the world would be a lesser place without them.
I'll never forgive them for what they did. They're a cruel person and they're lucky I didn't press charges.
Cutting off a bad friend. It hurt like hell and I wish things could have been different but it had to be done.
Autumn. It means summer's finally over.
Purple. I've always loved those darker colours.
MJ.
Books.
Cry mostly.
Seeing others happy. If I can make them smile or laugh myself, all the better.
Messy. As hell.
Jesus Christ so fucking many.
I try to write.
Unpleasant textures.
No.
It's somehow both?
I cheated on my french exam.
The Garden by The Crane Wives.
Maxor. His incorrect video game summaries are some of the funniest shit I have ever seen.
Nail biting. My parents tried to stop me. They did not succeed.
questions I think would be fun to be asked
what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
show us a picture of your handwriting?
3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?
what made you start your blog?
what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
what scares you the most and why?
any reacquiring dreams?
tell a story about your childhood
would you say you’re an emotional person?
what do you consider to be romance?
what’s some good advice you want to share?
what are you doing right now?
what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
name 3 things that make you happy
do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?
favourite thing about the day?
favourite things about the night?
are you a spiritual person?
say 3 things about someone you love
say 3 things about someone you hate
what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?
fave season and why?
fave colour and why?
any nicknames?
do you collect anything?
what do you do when you’re sad?
what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?
are you messy or organised?
how many tabs do you have open right now?
any hobbies?
any pet peeves?
do you trust easily?
are you an open book or do you have walls up?
share a secret
fave song at the moment?
youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?
any bad habits?
(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)
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Can you write about flat!reader x any Logan, where she is insecure of basically having no tits (like me) so she wants to keep a shirt on during sex and stuff and Logan notices and stuff lol
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, dirty talk, mirror sex, doggy style, creampie, insecurity, the reader says self deprecating things about themselves, light choking, breast play
a/n: YES YES, I'm flat as fuck and I am super self conscious about them. These mfs look like mosquito bites on god. (I hate them so much bro just let me get some work done PLZ) Anyways Im doing this with Worst Logan bc I love him. Anyways.
Sometimes it was hard dating a man like Logan. It wasn't hard to love him, no not at all. Even with the baggage he claimed to have come with, it wasn't hard to deal with the nightmares or the moments of deep loathing and insecurity. You loved him and because of that being able to help him through it all was easy.
What was hard was dating a man who was over 200 years old and looked like a Greek fucking god.
The first time you ever saw Logan without his shirt was when you were visiting Wade. Logan walked out in nothing but pajama pants. You shamelessly eye-fucked the man before you. He was ripped. Strong arms, a six pack, big thighs, and a handsome face. Even after you started dating and managed to get him on a diet that was more than whiskey and cigars he was still unbelievably hot. You should feel lucky to have a man like that worship you and you love and appreciate him to death. The problem is that you felt like you couldn't compare.
Logan loves you and you know he does but when you're looking in the mirror you can't help but notice you're lacking in one specific area. Your boobs. You were flat and the world seemed to never let you forget it.
Cute tops you could never wear because your chest couldn't keep them up. Jokes about being flat as a board. You couldn't even hold them in your hands. You hated them. Logan never said anything about them but you were always too afraid to bring it up.
So you sat in this limbo of deep insecurity.
"Sweetheart? You still in there?" Logans muffled voice comes from behind the bathroom door.
Shit you didn't mean to be here for so long. A shower had turned into staring at the mirror. You covered them in your hands, pushing them together and huffing when they just looked sad. The events from earlier in the night replaying over in your head.
Ever since Logan showed up in the universe he had garnered some attention. The Wolverine was hard to hide. People would point and whisper whenever they saw him. Gossip about who he was and why he was here. It was all pointless to Logan. Still in the bathroom of the bar you managed to catch a conversation.
Two beautiful women talking about your boyfriend and how badly they wanted him. Talking about flirting with him and taking him home. It just hurt a little. Sure Logan could care less about anyone's advances but yours but they had truly gotten into your head.
Would Logan want someone who had...better assets?
Would he want a woman who's breasts he could hold, squeeze, rest his head on? It was silly but they were the one thing that you honestly just didn't like about yourself so it was hard to think logically about it.
"I'm coming in." Logan's voice calls again. You curse quietly as you scramble to get a shirt on. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you like this. Logan's eyes shamelessly look you up and down as he enters the bathroom. A small smirk growing on his lips as he leans against the door. You bite your lip as you look down towards the counter.
"Sorry, I just wanted to take an extra long shower." You lie, smiling at Logan.
He hums and pushes off the door. He comes to stand behind you, his arms snaking around your waist. You were dressed in nothing but a shirt and underwear and Logan liked it. A lot.
"Should've joined you. Could have helped get your back." Logan purrs, his growing bulge pressing against your back.
“Oh please we’d still be in the shower if you had joined me.” You tease, slipping out of his grip. Logan furrows his brows as he follows you like a puppy to bed.
"You say that like it's a bad thing sweetheart."
As you lay on the bed Logan crawls in-between your legs, resting his head on your stomach. He purrs as you reach and run your fingers through his hair, scratching his head in all the spots you know he loves.
"Not a bad thing honey, but our water bill isn't a fan." Logan gets up on his knees, a devilish smirk appearing on his lips as his hands snake up your legs.
"Fuck the water bill, If I want to fuck my gorgeous girlfriend I will." You giggle as he dips his head down. The scruff of his beard tickles your skin as he nibbles on your thighs.
"Fuck baby, I can't get enough of you." He kneels between your legs and his hands slip up your body. The moment his hands go under your shirt you flinch. You didn't mean to flinch but you did. It was a small movement but it was there and Logan felt it immediately.
"What's wrong?" He asks as he takes his hands away.
"Nothing." You smile and reach up to pull him closer but he doesn't budge. Curse his super strength. He gives you a look and you sigh.
"It's nothing Logan, it's stupid and small."
"Sweetheart you gotta talk to me," Logan huffs. He's been working on this whole, communication thing and while he's not known for his empathy he can clearly see there's something bothering you.
"I just..." He looks at you again and you fall back into the pillows.
"Its these!" You say pointing to your chest.
"Huh?" "They're small and stupid and I hate them!" You lift your shirt up and huff in frustration. Logan's eyes widen as he stares at your bare chest. A stupid smile forming on his lips.
"I'm not seeing the problem." You put your shirt down and he pouts.
"I'm serious Logan. They're small and flat and...and..." You struggle to find the words as Logan just chuckles.
"So what?"
"It's not funny!" You snap and Logan's face morphs into concern.
"I just, I wish they were bigger is all. I mean sometimes I see other women and...It's hard sometimes." You curl into yourself, your arms covering your chest protectively. It felt silly to bring up right now but the thoughts wouldn't go away.
"Hey, look at me sweetheart." Logan coos. He lays next to you. Gently snaking his arm around your waist to pull you closer.
"Please?" Reluctantly you turn your body to face his.
"There's my pretty girl." He tilts your chin up to meet his eyes.
"Look I'm not the best at this but I can tell you one thing. You're fucking perfect." He leans in and kisses your neck gently. Your eyes flutter close as he gently rolls on top of you.
"You are beautiful, gorgeous, hot. I could go on and on sweetheart." His hand slips up your shirt and you let him slowly peel it off you. He grins as his lips move down to your chest. His thumb comes to play with one of your breasts while he latches onto the other.
"Logan..." You moan as he teases you like he loves to do.
"I know you hate them but I fucking love them. I could spend hours playing with them, looking at them, sucking on them if you let me." You bite your lip at his dirty words. The insecurities being pushed out Logan's hands.
"I don't care how big they are, what the look like. Because they're attached to my girl and I love my girl." Logan reaches down and rips your panties off of your body. You gasp in surprise as he takes your legs and spreads them.
"Feel how fucking hard you make me." He groans as he grinds his cock against your body.
"Get on your knees baby." You don't hesitate to listen. You get on your knees and face the headboard but Logan has other plans.
"No, I want you to watch your pretty tits as I fuck you." He growls in your ear as he moves you to face the mirror on the wall.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head at his gruff voice. Fuck he's hot. You're practically dripping onto the sheets already and Logan plans on taking full advantage of that. Slowly he slides his cock into your cunt, taking his sweet time as he stretches you out.
"So good, taking me raw." He says with a smirk. He wraps his hand around your neck to help support you as your legs shake at the feeling.
"I know baby, almost there just a little bit more." He praises.
You nod furiously, wanting to take all of him no matter what. When he fully bottoms out you let out a small cry. He shushes you softly, pressing kisses to your cheek as you get used to the stretch.
"Feel alright sweetheart?" Logan asks and you nod. Slowly he moves his hips, soaking up every whine that falls from your lips.
"Fuck, you're just made for me aren't you pretty girl." You can't take your eyes off of the mirror.
It's pure and utter filth. You're disheveled, tears pooling in your eyes, Logan's hand is still wrapped around your neck. You look fucking hot. You can see his muscles flexing with each devastating thrust. The look of pure desire on his face as he fucks you.
"Logan please I'm gonna come." Your hips start to move to meet his thrusts.
Logan growls as he grabs onto your hips and pushes you into the mattress. All you can do is watch yourself take it as he fucks the life out of you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Logan breaks you apart. Your body feels fuzzy as your orgasm washes over you. Logan lets out a loud groan as his hips slam into you and stay there as he comes.
"Fuck...Look at you." Logan sits back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up. You hum as your head falls onto his chest. A tired smile on your face.
"So fucking perfect." Logan hums.
"Right sweetheart?" You mumble something unintelligible and Logan taps your face.
"I want to hear it." You shiver at the intensity of his voice.
"I'm perfect." Logan tilts your head up.
"All of you?" He asks.
"All of me." You repeat after him.
"Good," He kisses your temple.
You sigh as Logan starts to massage your shoulders. The insecurities have been washed away, only bliss left in its wake. Logan couldn't comprehend your dislike for your body, he saw you and only saw the best.
But if you needed a reminder every now and then, he would be happy to give it to you.
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since this is tumblr after all, i feel like i should go back to my roots so:
things that have been said to or around me, as incorrect marauders quotes
sirius: what kinda fruit would i be? and dont say faggot
mary: imagine getting to absolutely explode inside someone
*30 seconds of silence of picturing it*
🎶iF i WeRe A bOy 🎶
peter: cereal is non binary
sirius: sure if you wanna make it into gay shit
peter: FRUIT LOOPS ITS IN THE NAME
james: if you were a fruit loop color which one w- LETS TAKE A QUIZZ
barty: i don’t just throw it away, i play catch w my sanity
Remus: *mom lore*
Peter: were you an accident?
Remus: oh yeah
Peter: that checks out
sirius: i love cum
james: 🤨
sirius: dont quote me on that
james: im quoting you
pandora to barty: can you stop talking about sperm so i can do my tarot reading?
remus: this might be rock bottom
peter: the thing about rock bottom is you can only go up
remus: we dont know, i have a shovel
peter deadpanning: have you ever even BEEN on minecraft?
sirius: i cant tell if im having a crisis or i just need to wash my hair
peter: furry
sirius: furry
james: furry
remus, defeated: why is this the joke we all roll with?
evan: i was regulus-ing too close to the sun trying to put my emotions in boxes
james, to sirius: the trauma is bouncing around in your head like the dvd logo and only when it hits a corner do you get a second of peace
sirius: I wish I could date myself I would treat me so well
james: I think you just stumbled upon self love
lily, scrolling on tinder: he’s cute
mary: is he?
lily: *swipes left*
James: I have brain freeze on the outside of my head
Regulus: that’s called being cold
sirius: im getting a lot of… brain things
remus: ideas?
remus: *looking smth up about worms, reading the suggested searches* “can paul atreides control worms?”
sirius: would you love me if i was paul atreides?
remus: no
sirius: would you love paul atreides if he was a worm?
remus: no
sirius: would you love a worm if it was paul atreides?
remus: i would have questions about HOW the worm became paul, but probably not
peter: is it… why was i thinking self harm? no wait… masturbation!
remus: what are you, catholic?
sirius: if i ever jump off a building just know it was bc i genuinely believed i could fly not because i wanted to kms
barty: on my deathbed can yall bring me a cup of gasoline? i wanna try that shit at least once
james: dang nabbit, or whatever the fuck white lame virgins say
regulus: i think you had a stroke out loud
james: that was just me doing math
trans reg complaining while doing hw: im just a girl
evan: nO?
sirius, about Minnie: she’s always three spots ahead in the cha cha line
james: she’s in the cha cha line meanwhile im doing the macarena
(playing battleship)
remus: I cant believe you blew up my ship and your response was “tehee”
peter: Top 10 things Adolf Hitler never said
(30 minutes later)
remus: (is losing at multiple board games) IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF! IM DONE- I AM SO DONE…
peter: Top 10 things Adolf Hitler has said
dorcas: evan is emotionally unstable but mature
regulus: one usually leads to the other
dorcas: nah barty is emotionally unstable AND immature
regulus: i said usually
mary: their lives are gonna go up in flames and im gonna sit there watching and tanning
lily: can you tan from fire?
mary: for sure
marlene: do you think people tanned at the salem witch trials?
peter and sirius: *debating*
remus: what did i just walk in on?
sirius: can animagus fuck?
remus: excuse me?
peter: we think yes
remus:… I think it makes sense
sirius: now here’s the real question, if James and Lily-
remus: no.
james: what if i dated regulus just to watch the world burn
remus: the world wouldn’t burn, you would, and sirius would be holding the lighter
sirius, ranting about remus drama: and then this happened and I have never been more distraught… thats a lie i was abused but still
peter, after making 18 your mum jokes: that’s what your mom said
sirius: stop i can only take so much
peter: she said that too!
pandora: im chilling, i could be a budah
regulus: i don’t think you’re chilling i think you’re disassociating
pandora: im budah
remus, ranting drunk: because my parents- my parents pfft i only have one
dorcas: am i being manipulative?
barty: no, I would be doing the same thing
dorcas: that’s not as comforting as you think it is
regulus: Hey google how to find a man that will edge me for hours, no borax or glue
james: i mean i have adhd i could probably do that
sirius, about reg: he’s not even fun anyway
james: siri… he gets abused
sirius: dont we all
peter: i think the bible is a mass hallucination, kinda like the bee movie
pandora: yk how when you buy things in bulk its cheaper? maybe we can get therapy in bulk for all 5 of us
regulus about sirius after he leaves Grimmauld: Bro acts like a Disney kid who just broke the contract
regulus: so, cannibalism as a metaphor, right—
remus: go to bed
sirius: to speak or to die? speak duh, im probably gonna die bc of what I said anyway
regulus: i had a great childhood…
sirius: *side eye*
regulus: you guys are making me age so fast
barty: we are helping you mature!
regulus: barty i get abused, i’ve been mature since i was 10
pandora: *after 10 seconds of silence* beAutiful
regulus: YOU CANNOT SAY BEAUTIFUL TO ME BEING ABUSED
pandora: im gonna be honest i zoned out
marlene: *calls*
lily: *picks up*
marlene: im gonna destroy my hair i thought you’d want front row seats
mary: a mosquito could bite my clit and i would let it
lily: mary what the fuck
alice laughing maniacally: lets actually think of the logistics here
#many of these are just one friend btw#marauders era#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#remus lupin#james potter#sirius black#dorcas meadowes#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#pandora rosier#regulus black#slytherin skittles#mary macdonald#lily evans#marlene mckinnon#incorrect marauders quotes
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NUMBER ONE GIRL
54. everybody wants you (written)
prev // m.list // next
Karaoke sounded like a good idea, but seeing all these strangers staring at the bunch of drunk assholes who just arrived makes you have second thoughts about it. Different from other karaoke places you've been to, this seems more like a club. There are private rooms but they're too small and where's the fun in that anyway.
"Let's sing 'ME!'!" Beomgyu rakes your hand and basically drags you across the room to get to the improvised stage.
Your brain is foggy and you know you're gonna regret all of this tomorrow, but right now you're having fun. Just for tonight, Beomgyu is your bestie and your friends get along. Moreover, Yeonjun and Minho are still having the time of their lives taking shots and laughing with each other. This is almost too good to be true.
Beomgyu's voice is surprisingly alluring, even when he's drunk. You're dancing and screaming and it's just so fun.
"And you can't spell awesome without me!" You hear your friends sing along while you're both jumping around.
You don't even notice Yeonjun's eyes following your every move and his dorky smile that makes his eyes almost disappear.
"Listen to me!" Minho screams at him and they go back to whatever argument they were having.
Drink after drink, and song after song, the fun seems to be never ending. Yeji is having the time of her life with Felix and even Karina is having a few drinks with Lia. You really hope they end up dating or something, Karina deserves to be happy.
Yeonjun is just being his clingy self and it's been an hour since he decided you need to be in his arms at all times. Not that you're complaining. It's actually nice being with him after spending so much time with your friends. You love your friends, but you also love just existing with Yeonjun.
It's almost 4:00 am and the place is even more crowded than when you first arrived. Some of your friends are nowhere to be seen and a bunch of them are taking shots at the bar.
"You're having fun?" Yeonjun is so tender and soft, caressing your cheek as if you're made of glass and dragging his words cause he's just so drunk.
"I think you're the one having fun," you laugh and he just whines.
Not too far from there, Minho is drunk as hell and just complaining about everything to Chan. He keeps staring at you and wishing he was the one making you laugh right now.
"He's an idiot!" He says for the eleventh time.
Chan just keeps rolling his eyes at him. "You said you were gonna step aside."
"But I don't want to, why does he get the girl? It's not fair." He's just being childish and maybe even a little selfish.
"And what are you gonna do about it?" Chan is so done with this conversation.
"Something remarkable!"
Out of everyone in here, Minho is the last person anyone would expect to walk up to the stage and type the name of some mystery song.
"Cam I have your attention, please?" He sounds drunk and some people cheer, they're as drunk as him. "So, it has come to my attention that some shit is just not fair. Like I don't get it. I was there first and sure I messed up but it wasn't so bad. This doesn't make sense, but whatever. Fuck you, Yeonjun."
Some people laugh, even Yeonjun does, but a lot of smiles falter when the song starts.
"Oh my fucking god!" Beomgyu is almost hyperventilating in the background.
"Gleaming, twinkling..." Even when drunk, Minho's voice is sweet and surprisingly soothing.
Yeonjun smiles and even sings along. You're also having fun until you make eye contact with Minho and he doesn't look away. He's been looking at you since he got on that stage, he's been looking at you the whole night and you're now uncomfortably aware of it.
You take another shot and look away from him. It doesn't make sense. He's your friend, he's not singing about you.
The song ends and before Minho gets to say anything, Chan snatches the mic and makes a joke about having to pay Minho. Of course, it was a bet, you relax at the thought and go back to having fun with your boyfriend.
However, someone on the sidelines doesn't seem so convinced.
"This is gonna be a fucking mess..."
notes:
I'm really really really sorry for making you wait so much for the update 😭 (stuff came up and I was super busy but I think everything is falling into place so you won't have to wait as much for the next part)
made a mistake and forgot to add something but it's all done now 😅
Minho is drunk af
Chan is a real one
and I'm so in love with yn and jun (I almost feel bad for what's gonna happen in the near future)
taglist: open! (24/50)
@estella-novella @poetryforthesad @lisaswifey @angelzforu @ihrtlix @gloriousqueenking @domfikeluva @circus-of-thoughts @conwunder @miniature-tragedy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sh0dor1 @yourenzoo @tkshairband @realrintaro @castingjinx @amara-mars @hwangrfrnd @nujeskz @jisungs-iced-americano @zeizeisjy @va1entinaa @beomgyusluver @to-toad @akindaflora @hoefororeo
#Spotify#kpop au#kpop smau#skz smau#txt smau#5targh0st#5targh0st number one girl#lee know smau#lee know x reader#lee know imagines#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun fanfic#yeonjun x reader#kpop imagine#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#social media au#txt fanfic#txt imagine#txt imagines#txt x reader#skz x reader#skz fanfic#skz imagine#skz imagines
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there is nothing that makes me quite more suicidal than fucking something up or not doing something at all than “you’re a grown adult” wow thanks I didn’t fucking notice. Did you know that I have a mental block that prevents me from understanding literally anything in simple terms
#you have to sit me down and walk me through this shit. ok#I have heard this both from strangers and people I trust and it hurts every fucking time. that is not the help you think it is.#and if I’m not worth the time where as an adult you have to actually talk to me and explain things in detail#and that’s a liability to you#I’m killing myself#I am not joking. I am done fucking around#the next person to tell me this I might actually just bite your head off. do you know how embarrassing this is for me#like wow it’s hard to watch huh? imagine being the one doing it.#and then coming to the realization that you actually cannot support yourself and will always have to rely on another person-#is fucking humiliating. you cannot understand how this feels
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No listen- LISTEN! He’s a cat boy. He literally eats rats. You cant silence me! No no you dont understand- no plea- *gunshot*
(Also, vyncent tried to dye his hair black when he got to prime to blend in more, but the purple bled through cause it was shitty box dye.)
#vyncent sol#jrwi vyncent#virion sol#just roll with it#jrwi prime defenders#prime defenders#jrwi pd#if virion sol has no fans i am dead#he has literally done nothing wrong ever#digital art#digital drawing#my artwork#jrwi#fanart#jrwi fanart#cat boy vyncent dog boy Dakota and whatever the fuck William is#also he used to tuck his tail into his pants. que hilarious jokes about is thata tail in your pants or are you just happy to see me#notice how his season 2 design has messier hair? yeah. thats cause tide isnt around to tell him to brush it.#my art
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so after boots, what other hsr characters do you like?
hm. well. hmmmm. ahhh.. uhhhhhhhhhhh
#sal.asks#it's cowboy all the way down baby !!!!!#this is only kind of a joke answer lol. i legitimately lost 90% of my interest in other characters once i saw leaks abt him LOL#and it's only gone downhill from there#...he should have a ship name like that. uphill or downhill. theres a joke there#otherwise i am a big ratio fan. second funniest character in the whole cast#bro is so done with EVERYBODY'S shit#i have to respect his dedication to not giving a fuck about what anybody thinks about him lol#(but also there's clearly something else going on underneath that?? WHAT is going on in his brain. i wanna study him like a bug)#homie is here for one purpose and that is EDUCATION. he's so funny#i wrote like 5k words of a fic for him with an oc. putting him in a box and shaking it around#like that pear wiggler gif. you know the one#i am also a screwllum lover 💝 silly man. deeply charming. also incredibly funny just in a subtle way#i am a moderate dh enjoyer as well bc that boy is slaving away in the angst mines#and also. dragon. insane about his aesthetic#theres so much beautiful merch for him. i saw a gold-lined pin of his dragon and dear godddddddd#if i werent broke from the holidays it would be MINEEEEEEEEE#i was geared up to be obsessed with aven (i think i have a supernatural sense for when backstories are going to be interesting)#but then i saw the bh leaks and every other thought fled my brain LOLLL#anyway yeah i know it's deeply unusual to only post about one character for these sorts of games lol#so the question is reasonable#the answer is just not that exciting unfortunately 😭
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kinda wish this one guy was gay
#he's my least politically correct friend but he has a good heart#like today one of our classmates said he's improved a lot since becoming friends with me and is so much nicer now#bc his old friendgroup was fucking nasty bro they still are idk#it's all 'jokes' until it's not apparently they were pretty racist to him#and obv i'm not racist so being around i and a few other different nicer people has done wonders for him#and like he initiated friendship with me straight away like he wanted to do better and can do better and has been doing better#he still has a few off jokes but i just don't humour them#and it's all just from a place of insecurity that so many teenage boys have#and he really does have a good heart i think he can continue to grow and improve#and we are just friends and becoming closer friends but like. dayum sometimes i am struck by his beautiful face#embarrassing but it's fine to have a little crush on all of your friends i think#and we played basketball today (i mostly watched) and he's so good at it like bro idk#i hope he doesn't move schools like he might (he lives really far away) bc i wanna see where this goes#friendship wise. bc i believe in him he can become a very nice person he has great potential#i can fix him guys (he has made choices to better himself and really i have little impact but i think i am helping and i'm glad)#and yeah he's just HOT my gawd#and i like breaking bad and he started watching breaking bad !!#oscar.exe
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why am i so interested in south american cultures and history. and why do i keep stopping myself from learning about them
#no cuz i have a fucking interest in it and its unexplainable idk where it came form#i literally live on a whole other continent way away from south america#i never been to anywhere in south america#i do not have a drop of latinx blood on me i have absolutely no connections to the damn place#but yet i am so interested in whatever the fuck incas aztecs and mayans were doin#about past history and current history#and current countries NOT TO MENTION THEYRE SOOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL GOD#i saw a vlog about brazil and never wanted to visit a country more in my life like holy shit#also i was obsessed with sottr mainly cuz of the focus on the latino civilizations#but from little research ive done it was quite stereotypical and blending the civilisation even tho theyre very different#but okay anyway#i HAVE the interest and yet i dont go let myself research ???? like i literally tell myself no????? no ill do that later ?????????#i have very poor memory retention okay so ig that makes me demotivated but STILLWOUWHABFJ#i remember watching some vids on the topics and trying to learn the damn differences BUT I REMEMBER FUCKING NOTHINGGGGGG#i can barely remember what i have learned in math last (4 weeks ago) like jesus cmon...................#i want to learn but i can barely remember anything FFLOR FUCKS SAKEEEKSGXVAJ#but still I dint think that's a reason for me denying myself and self sabotaging myself here ?????#i guess cuz im not taking it as much of a priority compared to the subjects im doing it + art + art history#which i also fucking suck at btw i am constantly trying to learn sm for art history and i remember. barely anything !!!#i remember i had to relearn the events and everything of ww2 like around 6-7 times and im not joking here#cuz i would not remember anything and now i remmeber it vaguely enough to be able to know some basic facts but no dates or smaller events#ok god my memory retention is shit i think i actually gotta be concerned about that shit#anyway i just wanted to rant except i have absolutely no information or facts to offer whatsoever#rumaiq rambles#writing this whislt listening to a Argentina 70s top playlist and there is absolutely no bad song. i love them all. and that is very rare#especially for me i am picky as fuck with my playlists and music#idk what the conclusion of this is i dont think there is one
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thanksgiving is tomorrow and i usually handle desserts but with my mom in the hospital the last few weeks things have just been crazy and I didn't want to commit to making that many desserts, so i was considering buying them and my siblings convinced me to go wait in line outside this AMAZING local pie shop we have so i spent 45 minutes in line this morning and dropped 80 US DOLLARS on TWO pies. which is crazy but its a small business and they're like the cream of the crop.
and i was like this is great this is wonderful!! We never splurge like that at ALL, but fuck it!!! mom will get a day pass from the rehab center and we'll have these amazing pies to celebrate and it'll be worth it!!!
So imagine my soul crushing horror and despair upon walking into my house just now to BOTH PIES splayed across the carpet in my living room crime scene style w my dog covered in crumbs and radiating like toxic levels of guilt.
She just ate 80 US DOLLARS worth of fucking pies and also my last shred of resolve for this month. Im like over it im over it im over it im
#i understand this is rambling and pitiful but thats how i feel#that joke that goes around evwry month thats like 'this month im trying a challenege called november- the goal is to survive every day -#of November' i hate to report that im losing that game so so so so so so so bad#i should call out of work monday of next week im gonna kms#not really#but i am gonna get burnt out and crazy 😭😭😭😭😭😂#im so mad shes never done anything this fucking naughty before#my post
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yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit
i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.
i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.
this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them
#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist#but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all#those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again?#(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do)#BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit#like TENFOLD now#it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode#plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am?#also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism?#it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always#the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn#it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself#this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry#this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past#this is another reason I fucking hate florida#because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment#and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that.#all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid#and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again#tw vent post#tw racism#tw past racism#but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again#fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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"An awkward gesture" like yeah. And that group of guys who gathered around in Portland ME in full Nazi paraphernalia on April 1st that one year were just joking. Right.
#bro. sorry WELL I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD EVEN SAY SORRY?????? but i am gonna bitch for a second#like that shit was so jarring (second example i provided) bc not to dox myself but that's like. home.#vaguely not specifically speaking. but that is home.#i don't even remember what happened/what was done about it other than like. seeing an article or two about it#but literally this is just part of the nazi playbook. it's just a joke. or a mistake. or an accident. not that serious. ect ect ect#bonus points if like well they're a really nice person. yeah. i bet they are To You.#and hell less me being a bitch about it even if they put on a nice face towards the people they want dead#like bitch. i was raised christian. i know a thing or two or one hundred thousand about The Duality of it.#conscious or subconsciously. i know first hand what it looks like to be loved and abhorred at the same time.#and this is a loose comparison maybe. but what i'm SAYING here is That's How They Get You.#also fuck man the more i think about that 'stunt' (idk if i even wanna call it that but for lack of a better term)#like. the stupider it fucking is. like yeah a joke. a prank. okay. and you just had all that shit laying around because.......???????#idk it's so jarring. esp when it's close to home#but it's also so fucking jarring and terrifying to see it play out Like This. not some fuckasses in fucking maine#but someone with a disgusting amount of power. in front of the entire world. TO the entire world#god i'm getting flashbacks to that one guy who in front of a whole ass crowd (some preacher? politician?#idk sometimes the venn diagram is a circle. i don't fucking care to find out) said some shit about#eradicating transgender people from public life completely. to like a LOUD fucking applause#like it's sickening and exhausting and god i'm privileged. technically speaking. i'm white#and am taken care of by family so i don't have to work (when like. idk if i can. as time goes on i really feel like i can't.)#like. i'm acknowledging that all things considered i'm probably going to be safe. in all likelihood.#but it's disgusting and horrifying and like. maybe i'm safe. relatively. but so many people are not and will not be.#like idk it's just looking really fucking bleak. and that's coming from the shut-in.#i feel like i could say so much about that too. how i exclusively live through my art and art alone.#is it maladaptive daydreaming if the conditions are inherently hostile to life itself?#again i feel like i'm lucky that i'm able to opt out. but i also feel like. i feel like these shouldn't be my only options.#i don't know. i just wish we had more political assassinations. it wouldn't fix the system.#but it would fix the issue of one really stupid and genuinely evil guy. this goes for many of them
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Dude, wasn’t your wedding in like November? How was it? How are tax benefits?
ya in september!!!! we showed up underdressed, amused the lady who officiated us with our speedrun strats, then went to kbbq after which was the highlight of the day imo lol
the tax benefits are insane tho they shake out to an extra 500eu a month which is literally the only thing allowing me to focus on rsi recovery now ;w;;;;;
#askbox#anonbox#this system is insane it should not exist. signing a piece of paper literally turned around our financial situation to such a fucking degre#after having lived my whole life on the poverty line though like. i sure as hell am taking it lol#ridiculous to think i only got my shitty factory job (that ruined my wrist) bc i fell out of family health insurance#and we were joking abt marriage then just for the combined healthcare (which saves another 200eu. btw) LIKE IF WE HAD DONE IT THEN FR#none of this had to happen lol instead i blew up my arm for money i cld have been getting for free via State Sanctioned Relationship#i rly rly cannot wrap my head around it#i was making like 500eu a month on average. minus the 200eu health care. working a part time student job paid LESS than getting married#and not working at all. fucking insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i would really appreciate it if i didn't have a brain that thought torturing me was a helpful response to being scared of us. im your copilot stop fucking tazing me you dick
#good fucking god. im going to crawl out of bed now that was all so pointless#what they never tell you about mental illness is what a massive waste of your time it is. jfc you stupid asshole#i hate you intrusive thoughts i hate you i hate you i hate you. die.#all the rest of it too tbh but those in particular. haunted by the knowledge that i will never be able to fight my limbic system or whateve#like brass knuckle fucking bike chain with the lock on bat with nails in it etc. absolutely sick of that guy idc how sympathetic he is#that motherfucker needs to pay for what he's done to me and im not joking even a little bit#ugh im going to go distract myself with something stupid now. whatever#edit im adding in some of the good things that happened today bc it was actually good and i feel better now :v#we got our first proper snow of the season so i got to go walk around in that. twas beautiful and my dogs were very cute#the last couple of times it snowed here i was too depressed/burnt out/whatever to like. go have fun in it#and it's our first snow w hoagie obviously (and maybe his first snow bc he's like. 1 y/o)#im still on break and ive been vaguely if not very un-vaguely tormented by the prospect of registering for classes#even though i think they start in like. 2 days.#combined w the need to do like. a comedically large amount of dishes. like nothing to eat on for days bc of my ass amounts#am i registered for classes? no. but im working on the unforseen obstacle in question and i feel better bc of that#waiting on an email feels a lot comfier than sitting on smth very urgent without knowing its exact deadline (<- too scared to look) unable#to bring yourself to do it yknow? and the dishes got done. small miracles#like today was good my brain just ambushed me again
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i just want to draw jules being very excitable & silly bc he IS or at least he tries really hard to be & then exhausts himself so sometimes hes not but god why is it HARD
#like he IS very twitchy & easily startled & he DOES get very passionate about his interests#but also he really really puts in a lot of effort to seem cheerful & easygoing. this man is stressed as fuck he is scared out of his mind#he just usually hides it. and quite well!! but it does wear on him u know#but he tries his best. & like its not like its entirely an act he genuinely does like to have fun & joke around#& he doesnt really see the point in stressing over things that are out of his control. but like. easier said than done#unfortunately this means he often feels bad for. feeling bad. so he tries to hide it#this got away from me i think i wanted to say more but i really am tired lmao. maybe tomorrow if i remember#ig i can put this in his tag#oc: jules#maybe later ill compile these tags into the actual body of a post bc. the post itself wasnt even about that lmao
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