#I am not even ashamed of it
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If you think that just cause I am 24 I wonāt still sit down in front of the Christmas tree all excited about opening presents as if I were six years old, then you are mistaken.
#I am not even ashamed of it#Christmas Eve is the one day I allow myself to be unapologetically childish without feeling stupid for it#writer speaks
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bro fuck it im workposting. i did illustrations, i storyboarded, i directed. I did many cool things in 2024 and millions of people all over the world saw em. that has to count for something
#brawl stars#marcia#i dont workpost because i am deeply aware nobody here is here for brawl stars but on god i#i work and i create and its real#and there is a part of me thats ashamed because i know that brawls is not. like its not league of legends you know?#league of legends is something you post about#about the skin you helped create or sculpted#or the splash art you painted#its has that... value that is obvious even in the eyes of a person who has never played league#its a very mature visual language that historically calls for respect#meanwhile presenting brawl stars art feels like showing my anime girl oc to an art teacher#even mentioning an illust i created for a skin announcement for brawl stars feels so#so dollar store#so laughable#like noone would take me seriously#it feels like when you say you're an artist and then a person asks to see your art#and you show them and they get that soft soft look in their eyes that informs you that they had an image of who an āartistā is in their hea#and that you did not live up to it but all they'll say is 'oh thats nice'#bro help me im doing art elitism to myself#how can i simultaneously believe that art can be anything and yet only neoclassical realism has real value#i want to be creatively free yet all i do is fear the unimpressed looks of strangers
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Long car trips mean hunch over my ipad and film dumb stupid videos in restaurants at 11pm š (future me screw u idk if itās shaky also do not perceive me)
(That one vine)
Also have the things
#I didnāt even plan to use this audio LMAO#it worked ig I just added words#hijack#jackycup#itās so wild yall car trips fuck me up cuz what do u mean I slept 4 hours straight and now thereās snow#IN CALI??#ate some bomb ass food tho while filming and my sis just stared at me the whole time š#ig thatās how ātoofthelss greets people LMAO#expressions are fun#I may not animatic but I can sure hope and dream#if u see this no u didnāt#a little loopy itās fine yall#edit: omgf ITS SO SHAKY I AM ASHAMED#TY FOR LIKING THIS BUT ALSO WOW DO I KINDA HAYE IT#š itās ok Iāll just dig a hole and lay down for a while itās fine
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yes i am aware that both Irepcember and Pericember should be more Christmass themed, esp dress-up promts but idc you cant tell it`s Christmass in my home until 31st December-
[8th day] ā¬
[You are here] ā”[12th day]
versoin w/o textā
#i am ashamed thet even with day-skipping i can`t keep up but at least i draaaaaw#irepcember#irepcember2024#my art#fairly oddparents a new wish#the fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#digital art#fanart#fop fanart#fopanw#a new wish#irep fairly oddparents#fop irep#irep#the fairy oddparents#the fairy oddparents a new wish#fairlyoddparents#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents fanart#fop#fop anw#fairly oddparents new wish#fairly oddparents irep#fairly oddparents foop#greenlightfopanws2
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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Yes, YES; This one gets it.
#bg3#halsin#the bear thing is haha and all#but the scene/mood/dialogue is straight outta the pages of a racy romance novel#and for people that love this it's gratifying and touching that it's a scenario that's crafted with much care and seriousness#as opposed to being something to be ashamed of#as if emotions and intimacy don't belong in a narrative experience especially one so personal like idk A ROLEPLAYING GAME#to me THAT'S why this is a big thing for a flagship CRPG to go all in on#optional bear necessities aside#And we don't even know yet how the other companions' will be like#Gale & Astarion's will personally attack me I guess#Fed I am thoroughly fed
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āHe was born to blow your mindā¦ or something along those linesā¦ā
Miracle Aligner @ BBC Radio 1 Weekend, 2016
#listen. i could say something about the electricity or skill of this performance#or the gorgeous string arrangement#but letās be real i am just here with gratuitous photos of alex and miles looking stupidly hot while playing guitar#and iām not even ashamed#because LOOK at them ???#absolutely ridiculous#no wonder when they watched this performance back they were talking about how much they fancied each other š#jesus christ#alex turner#miles kane#milex#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#arctic monkeys#my gifs#lulu posts
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it's kind of crazy how many percentage of people will tell me at cons like oh i know you from pinterest when it's like i most certainly did not put it thereš
#i dont mind that much personally since it usually links back to me(personally. still ask ppl about it before!)#except sometimes its shit that i dont want spread in the world like something offensive or just even smth i regret or am ashamed of#just the lack of control is frustrating but ig inevitable. but if it links back ig...
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When the only person who might understand what happened- understand. Not sympathize or empathize or comfort you but understand what happened, isn't there anymore. Or: 'A Man Made Me Do Something I Didn't Want To', for when you can't talk about it or look it in the eye [Patreon | Commissions]
#Tuvok#Kes#comix#idk how to tag this bc of the allusion#st voy#star trek voyager#bea art tag#comix page#star trek#this is not a one to one allegory nor is it meant to be - I am specifically focusing in on the loss of bodily autonomy that occurs when#Kes and Tuvok have their bodies taken over purposefully by men for various reasons which all boil to power. 'Because I could' and Because#they thought Kes or Tuvok wouldn't be able to stop them from doing so. Because they thought they had the power to do so so why wouldn't#they? But again this is not one to one - I interpret and will continue to interpret these instances in many different ways#But something that sticks with me in canon is how 'impervious' Tuvok is made - There is that scene at the end of Warlord which#shows that Kes is affected by what just happened to her - she's confused and hurt and doesn't know what to DO now that the in-the-moment#fight is over and it's time to just keep living and Tuvok comforts her but when he will go on to be taken over again and again and again#there will be no one to comfort him - no one HE can go to - and the narrative doesn't say that there should be. Even when he's#taken over by the BORG (an experience which had a lasting traumatic impact on characters like Seven or Picard - granted they were connected#for a lot longer) this is only mentioned offhandedly. One wonders why it occured at all. There's also how the other two main Vulcans#T'Pol and Spock - when they are forced to act emotionally or are in situations that affect their emotional equilibrium there is a big deal#made about it and they are hurt and ashamed and given some degree of care and comfort by those around them but when Tuvok#is forced into similar situations it is simply assumed he'll get over it - not even just by the other characters but the narrative itself#takes it for granted Ex: 'Workforce' where he forgets ALL his Vulcan training or 'Meld' where Suder's influence#unintentionally makes him lose it and try to kill him...THOUGH I think Suder hugging an unconscious Tuvok is perhaps the closest we get to#someone comforting Tuvok after he's been through that sort of ordeal. I'm not saying Tuvok would WANT others to be hugging him#and offering him emotional comfort etc (he's Vulcan) but I find it interesting that the narrative assumes that the black body (even alien)#is more 'durable' than its white counterparts. 'Stronger'. Assumes that there is no interiority which recoils and sustains the damage#when hurt. That there is nothing worth exploring because there is no impact from the impact. A crater lands and the Soil beneath it is#untouched
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kind of irritates me a little bit when people act like it's weird or wrong or ooc for sy to have internalized homophobia as if that isn't probably the most realistic thing about the plot to begin with. he's a chinese man who grew up in the late 90s - early 00s and spent all his time online i would be frankly more surprised if he had ZERO hangups about being gay. this is explicitly presented as a character flaw so i'm not sure why people act like mxtx is homophobic for writing a guy with internalized homophobia. also he like gets over it in volume 4 anyways you gotta give him some time dude he died like 3 times and he keeps getting force-fed blood he's got a lot on his plate
#i don't know if you know this but in real life gay people are way crueler to each other than this all the time#go on grindr for 5 minutes and you'll see a million NO FATS NO FEMS NO ASIANS profiles#if anything sy is fairly progressive all things considered#you must remember this is a time in the internet where you called anyone you didn't like some form of faggot to imply how lame they were#you got called a fag for any damn reason. i feel like people do not respect how far progressivism has come#in terms of gay rights over the past decade alone. yeah he's gonna have to take some time to get over it#because in MOST PARTS of the world (even 'progressive' areas) being gay was still viewed as something to be ashamed of#or at the very least to hide and never talk about#on one hand i am of course GLAD that people have never been assaulted or tormented by their peers for being faggy#but also like. don't come online and say it's homophobic for a gay chinese man in 2014 to have some hangups lmfa#t#svsss#f
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okay. okay. okay, you guys simply do not understand how iām feeling rn bc i finally found my all time fave gallavich edit after searching for it off and on for like ??? 3 years ?? technically, i didnāt really heavily search until the last like, day or so but whatever fkdjsk but the person who made it deleted their account, and i thought āhm, what if i just watched a bunch of gallavich edit compilation videos to see if i can find it?ā (which is ā¦ a totally sane and normal thing to do at 3am) AND LO AND BEHOLD !!! I FOUND IT !!! sharing here so everyone else can suffer the way i have, and can admire this literal work of art. all the credits to eunohira, u absolute legend, u are promised my first born for this edit alone <3
#gallavich#gallavich edit#shameless#shameless edit#ian gallagher#ian gallagher edit#mickey milkovich#mickey milkovich edit#cameron monaghan#cameron monaghan edit#noel fisher#noel fisher edit#i am not ashamed to admit i teared up and watched it several times immediately upon finding it#i even used my headphones for the full experience JDDHSJSH#keep#god#this edit#like truly yall do not understand#but enjoy
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As much as I would enjoy a kiss at their reunion, I do think the dragon prince crew would do something softer when (not if <-clown emoji) Sorvus is made canon. I'm picturing Corvus and Ezran and Callum arriving at the castle like in the promo image, them checking up with Opeli and she reveals everything is fine.
But Corvus asks about Soren. "Where is he?" he asks, his mind already wandering to the possibility that Soren...hadn't made it out. He will himself to remain strong for his king, but his body fills with dread. Thankfully, Opeli points him to the river.
There, Soren sits on the banks. Corvus sits beside him, noticing the same pained look in his eyes that he had seen on the ramparts the day Soren asked him to become a crownguard. Now, that same pain encompassed how he sat, how he stared mournfully into the waters.
Corvus asks is he is alright, and Soren can't even answer, holding back what emotion he can to maintain his cheerful attitude. He is failing miserably. Something more terrible than the Storm Spire must have happened. Something worse than Katolis burning down.
Corvus lays his hand over Soren's on the rock. Soren looks from it to Corvus, then shifts so that he can hold Corvus's hand back.
Like Janai and Amaya, its a confirmation.
and, of course, at the end of arc 2 or start of arc 3 (affirm affrim, manifest manifest, like to charge reblog to cast) then we get a kiss, teehee
#the dragon prince#soren tdp#corvus tdp#sorvus#Wrote clown emoji instead of putting the actual emoji cause I'm on desktop#I add the clown emoji because as much as they are waving those gay and bisexual flags around#as much as the crew is saying ācouple dynamicā in interviews#or as much as Jesse Inocalla is calling Corvus a black cat girlfriend in podcasts#I have been burned before by two men that are a bit more than platonic in how they act#and I am not immune to being ashamed by people who say things like#oh#I only see them as really good friends. They won't be canon#or even worse#āwe need more healthy male friendshipsā#as if they actually care about that kind of thing over shaming mlm who want to see themselves#in a silly little cartoon#so until they are canon (affirm affirm)#I will keep my hopes down if only so I won't be embarassed by people who said#i told you so#sorry for rant but that's how I feel
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Again, gouache painting I made to relax
#my schedule is alright tomorrow maybe i'll be able to go to the library and do some med work there#i'm. surprised i actually WANT to study but also i still have this unhealthy obsession with drawing. however somehow it's more manageable#like. i actually SIT DOWN AND DO MY WORK?? AND HOMEWORKS??? HELLO???#but the. catch is my emotions are even more confusing and i am so ashamed of them i bottle them up AHAAA guess who will probably#--do vent art#i. need to see a medical professional#for this and. understand better how my brain works also. and. transgender moment (i am NOT passing guys)#toaster talks#rant#toaster draws#my art#omori au#omofalls#omofalls au#omori basil#traditonal art#gouache painting#gouache#sketchbook art#omori
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i had time to play a decent amount today and actually further the main quest & companion quests and. i dont have anything eloquent to say this time and im not feeling generous anymore... taash's writing sucks dogshit
#even if i ignore the whole. Solely Existing To Teach The Player What Nonbinary Means#their character is wildly inconsistent#they are constantly picking on other companions to a point that it's literally grating to have them in a party with some of them#namecalling emmrich and getting an entire scene about it and no one seems to realize how silly it looks to have#mx 'you dont get to tell me who i am'#repeatedly calling emmrich by names he doesn't like#same with calling davrin a spirit and saying shit like 'don't be ashamed of who you are' all sarcastic i just know they#felt sooo smug writing that line#also please god stop saying nonbinary it is so immersion breaking it's awful. i hate to say it but it's literally making me cringe#god i want to like them so bad. but i think taash and harding are the worst writing in the game#taash i want to like at least but i straight up hate harding lmao especially playing as an elf. why am i apologizing ?#and you literally cant call her out on any of it. soo frustrating#datv spoilers#datv critical#da posting
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Took me months to muster up the courage to do a rockstar auā¦ even tho itās more post apocalyptic punk ā¦ and itās litterally a messā¦
#sundrop fnaf#sundrop#sun fnaf#sundrop x oc#sundrop x reader#sundrop x you#sundrop x self insert#sundrop x y/n#sun and moon x reader#moondrop x oc#moondrop x reader#moondrop x self insert#moondrop x you#moondrop x y/n#even tho itās more of a personal oc#than a yn#and itās also a freaking furry yes#i am very ashamed of this as of nowā¦#art#art wip#arts#mods speaketh#mod feral
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#not sure how long I can go on feeling like this#like its fine im fine im not going to do anything permanent or harmful#but my tolerance for discomfort I am finding out is absolutely in the fuckingn ground#which makes a lot of sense considering the amount of coping mechanisms Iām using To numb on a regular basis#but holy fucking shit I canāt keep feeling like this#i need to start feeling like myself again#i donāt feel like myself#i feel no creativity#no spark#no interest#everything is difficult#even everyday tasks like putting on makeup feel like climbing a mountain#and I feel so ashamed for the struggles#and Caige keeps telling me to be gentle with myself#but I feel like I canāt be because if Iām gentle with myself than Iām scared Iāll never get out of this pit#i feel like I just need to power through it#was googling#āhow to get over burnout without taking a breakā#and itās like. āhow to fill up your car with gas without putting any gas in the tankā#but Iām so fucking stubborn I feel incapable and unwilling to give myself time or space#which is dumb because itās not like Iām making any progress with the way things are going now#im just exhausted#sleeping so much#donāt know how to get back to myself#rabbit rambles#no need to say anything I just needed to get this off my chest
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