#i. need to see a medical professional

[tosteur-gluteal]

Again, gouache painting I made to relax

[passiveagressivepoet]

buddie season eight this buddie season eight that

eDDIE DOING LONG TERM INTENSIVE THERAPY SEASON EIGHT WHEN

[codecicle]

codecicle you put things on my screen that are so confusing and have no relevance to my interests but its you so i find it so very endearing. keep having so much fun and whimsy on tumblr dot com child :3

you have GOT to get on this horrible TV show dude you don't even understand. it's bad and has 0 redeemable qualities, literally my bread and butter rn. can't get enough of it

[hylianengineer]

I continue to be in awe by the power granted to me by having learned to read scientific papers.

[fastwalker]

the bro code among doctors is insaaaanee

doc2: "hmmm yes the treatment doc1 prescribed doesn't seem appropriate for the symptoms you are describing, this sounds confusing indeed. BUT I'm sure MY TRUSTED EXPERIENCED COMPETENT COLLEAGUE (these people don't know each other) decided this for a reason and this is the correct treament for uyo after all ^_______^ no I won't reevaluate you, despite having open appointments uwu go die from infection somewhere else"

[creepyscritches]

Ouuugh fuck yes the opthalmologist said I appear to be a strong candidate for LASIK :3c gotta coordinate with my other doctors for their opinions, but just this year my eyes finally stabilized enough to even HAVE these conversations in the first place!!! It probably wouldn't be something I pull the trigger on for at least another year, but very exciting to not be eliminated as a candidate bc of my autoimmune stuff :') it was also super cool as always to learn how providers explain some of these conditions + procedures on a patient level then a clinical level. Eager to talk shop with the opthalmology SME on my team :3

[sag-dab-sar]

Medical professional: *who has no actual reason to know why I'm using my wheelchair* so why are you using a wheelchair?

Me: Legs don't work well 🫤

Medical professional:

[mariocki]

Anthony Ainley guests as medical specialist Josef Kerston, a doctor but also (shock!) a villain, in The Adventurer: The Bradley Way (1.4, ITC, 1972)

[floral-hex]

fuck, I hate telehealth, but ya know, I think I’d actually like it if it was in minecraft instead of a video call. Let’s do therapy in roblox or something.

[storybounded]

To those I have things I need to respond to that are off tumblr, I'm so sorry about my speed. I promise I'm still thinking of ya'll, my brain hasn't been cooperative for the last few weeks.

[daz4i]

let me preface this by clarifying i am not anti therapy in any way whatsoever and in fact encourage people to get therapy if they can and even go the extra step to help friends find the right type of therapy that may help them

ok now that that's out of the way.

therapy is bullshit man you go to a therapist saying "hey. i wanna kill myself. can you help me stop wanting to kill myself somehow?" and they go "sure! first step, stop wanting to kill yourself" and you say "well i can't. that's why i came to you. bc i don't know. how to stop wanting to kill myself" and they'll say "that's a shame. i can't help you if you want to kill yourself. that'll be 125$ please"

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[echthr0s]

post about amphetamines and ensuing thread about how "ADHD people just feel normal on stimulants" is anecdotally true but not necessarily scientifically true on my dash and I'm just thinking about that first time that I tried meth with Sigma and we just both hyperfocused on our computers the entire time (they do have ADHD but I do not), or how I used to take Adderalls for the wakefulness and euphoria yes but also because I felt like it was easier to ride the strange winding pathways of my cognition to a place where they'd end up as a fic or some other project rather than just petering out because I couldn't keep up/got distracted by something else/got intimidated by the breadth of my thoughts

which I think is what the euphoria was actually related to. it wasn't just a direct result of Having Consumed An Substance, it was the exhilarating feeling of riding those strange winding pathways to wherever they wanted to take me, and not falling out of the train and landing unceremoniously on the side of the tracks with nothing to show for my grandiose thinking except some fragmented concepts

and to me, that's... therapeutic. that's a therapeutic experience, to be fully present in and engaged with my own mind. to feel centered and yet expansive, to be unbowed by anxiety, to see an end goal (a finished thing, in all its weird glory) and be inexorably propelled towards it by my own steam.

but I don't have ADHD. so I guess I'm just Being High, by this dichotomy ("people with ADHD on amphetamines are experiencing therapeutic effects" / "people without ADHD on amphetamines are experiencing recreational effects"). but it doesn't seem fair to make such a flat division, or to even assume that what people think of as "recreational highs" aren't therapeutic in some way (see also: the wide variance in how people respond to THC)

anyway tl;dr the ever-evolving wars on drugs really decimated how we think about the interactions between our bodies and the substances we put into it

[aethernightmare]

[lupfull]

how the fuck are you supposed to save things for therapy another day instead of lashing out at people during conversation. by then i'll feel like an emotionless dead corpse when right now i feel like there's Gods pulling on my arteries like fishing line with my skin being what's caught on the thousand hooks

[waddingham]

love when my resting heart rate is >115 for no clear reason. just for funsies <3