#I am not a bootlicker

[epicness1000]

17 REASONS WHY SAMPO KOSKI IS SUS

I'm not sure if I've come across a fictional character more horrendously sus than Sampo Koski.

Since I'm kind of hyperfixated on him (and Dr Ratio too), I will make a post on why our beloved blue scammer is very, very sus.

He is the only character to leave no trace when he walks. No splashes in water, no footprints in the snow. Literally no other character in the game does this.

All of his eidolons, save for one, are made up of two words and are very light hearted: "Rising love", "Infectious enthusiasm", "Big money!", "Huuuuuuuuge money!" and "Increased Spending", all of which reference either his love for money, or his warmth. The one exception is "The Deeper the Love, the Stronger the Hate". What? What do you mean hate? We've never seen Sampo be anything but 'haha funny scam boi'. What a strangely ominous thing to say...

Not to mention the art paired with that eidolon. In every piece of art we have of him, you can see the light in his eyes– not here. The light's completely absent.

His defeat pose. Every character is either kneeling, or sitting down. Sampo is the ONLY one who is still on his feet. This must surely be intentional.

The fact that he's among the few characters with an invalid rating from the rating pistol (Alongside Acheron, Jing Yuan, Feixiao, March 7 and Luocha, all of whom are either extremely powerful, or have a completely unknown past as is the case of March 7).

He is the only character to directly acknowledge the player in-game (Sparkle did this in a trailer, but... it was a trailer, so it doesn't count until it's something in-game). Self-aware character? (This is my own headcanon >:)

He very clearly is not a Belobogian native, this is all but confirmed by the fact that everyone states he just showed up one day a few years back (something along those lines). So... where is he really from? His splash art doesn't seem to be Belobog either...

The fact that the trailblazer turned away from him for ONE SECOND, and he disappeared without a sound??? Like he was never there at all.

The entirety of Funny Bone, which shows a very violent side to Sampo. You CANNOT convince me it doesn't hold some element of truth to who he truly is, because if Hoyo truly intended for him to be harmless comic relief with little more to him, why would they play this song live in an official Honkai: Star Rail orchestra accompanied with the visuals? Would they really approve something showing him in such a dangerous, unhinged and dark light when we've never seen him like that in-game?

The fact that he's a Masked Fool. A Masked Fool who apparently has some moral standards, but a Masked Fool nonetheless. Personally, I suspect he wasn't always so mellow.

THAT WHOLE SCENE OF FIREFLY DESCRIBING HIM, HAVING KNOWN NOTHING ABOUT WHO HE WAS, AND MAKING HIM SOUND LIKE SOME SORT OF SKILLED ASSASSIN?? (I know it was a shapeshifted Sparkle but I think the point still stands. Also, this might just be me, but before I realised it was Sampo following us around, the way FF was talking about our stalker unsettled me and genuinely left the impression that she was talking about an assassin of some kind... wouldn't surprise me if this guy's hands have been stained red in the past).

The fact that his backstory snippets are all of him just goofing around disguised as Madame Poisson? When there's CLEARLY more to him than meets the eye?

THE FACT THAT HE'S ONE OF THE FEW CHARACTERS WHO IS NOT ABLE TO BOARD THE ASTRAL EXPRESS YET????? Even Sparkle can board, so it doesn't have to do with the fact that he's a masked fool. And I think everyone else from Belobog can board, so... hmm... sus....

We find him in the Belobog outskirts. I'm pretty sure it's noted that normal humans can't go out there unprepared without freezing to death, or something? I might be misremembering.

HIS LIGHT CONE! HOW COULD I FORGET HIS LIGHT CONE! Firstly, notice it's not just one sniper targetting him, but there is also a man in the corner pointing a gun at him. The art is called "The Eyes of the Prey", yet when you read its description, Sampo is unsettlingly calm, spotting the sniper from a distance with no warning (makes him sound like he has borderline supernatural awareness, which I think fits with the idea of him being 'self-aware'), and is noted to have more money than the hitman makes from multiple contracts. I think the title is also a subversion– with how in control Sampo is of the situation, surviving TWO simultaneous hitmen, it's quite clear that he is not the prey– rather, it's those who target him.

He knows things he ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT KNOW. The fact that he implies that Dan Heng is a dragon? Or his 'knowledge' voice line, which clearly expresses his awareness that we arrived by train (when he should not have this information?).

His eidolon activation phrase is "Everyone has a colourful past, wouldn't you say?" We know literally NOTHING about his past.

So, I'm not sure EXACTLY what this all means, but it's clearly pointing to something. Don't let me down, Mihoyo! You usually do, you filthy gacha bastards, but... try to do Sampo justice please.

[batty4her]

From one fast food employee to another, I hope you’re stuck at that dead end job for the rest of your fucking life. Disrespectfully, choke on that boot until it kills you fr

[monscrow]

"salt is the best thing to give more flavor to your food!" nnnWRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ GARLIC🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄🧄

[aqua-cultured]

so it looks like Blood Libel: The Videogame is gonna be doing more twitch drops, so remember to unsubscribe from any streamers who are stooping so low as to work with T*rf Supreme - and to let them know exactly why you are if you feel comfortable doing so

[taravangians-storming-balls]

so I do entirely agree with the knights radiant quiz that i'd probably be a lightweaver however if I were to be placed on the magical planet that has magical flying and i cannot?? fly??? pissed. angry. fighting god.

[clowningcrows]

sorry this is the ONLY discourse ill allow myself to participate in post finale of agatha all along (or i fear i will lose my mind entirely), but DAMN some people out here rn after the finale being like “i’m sorry you didn’t get the agathario smut you wanted” BITCH!!!! I WASNT ASKING FOR THEM TO FUCK ON SCREEN!!!! i didn’t even need them to get together or even get any semblance of a happy ending!!! i didn’t expect a happy ending in the least tbh!!!!! but you know what i did expect? a final ending. a wrap up. a satisfying and complete finale. a conclusion that actually answers any one of my remaining questions or gave us more context for scenes that we’ve been missing context on the entire time. and i’m sorry but this finale didn’t do that at all. and it’s obviously not bury your gays but jesus christ it wasn’t a good conclusion either. at best it’s honestly a cheap set up for a season two or further content with billy that will prob include bits and pieces of agatha

[carmen-berzattos]

I love working from home because I can nap on company's dime and none would be the wiser

[hollow-keys]

3rd Doctor: I imagine exploding the Brigadier with my mind at least 3 times a day. The only reasons why I haven't left these UNIT charlatans is because my TARDIS won't work, I need resources to rebuild it that only UNIT has and also someone's got to stop these people from accidentally blowing up the world, and let's face it, that person is unfortunately going to be me. Can't wait to leave, sayonara you military shits.

10th "14th" Doctor: Wow I love UNIT. It's so cool you're following in your father's footsteps, Kate! [unironic salute]

[your-pal-nebula]

Telling people about my interests/hyperfixations like

'WordGirl, ReBoot, Wings of Fire, Hazbin Hotel, the American Revolution, The Amazing Digital Circus, Minecraft, Pokemon USUM, yeah I think that's all of them (one of these things is not like the other)'

[fictionadventurer]

It turns out the most fun way to engage with Barchester Towers is to map the characters on to other characters/people from the future that Trollope couldn't have known about.

Dr. Grantley = Squidward (ambitious, a bit pretentious/likes the finer things in life, tries for dignity but is easily angered)

Mr. Harding = Winnie the Pooh (sweet and small and simple and friendly and likes his little songs)

Mrs. Proudie = Mrs. Oleson (very opinionated domineering wife)

Mr. Slope = Rasputin (oily guy who uses spirituality to prey upon women and gain power)

[fernsnailz]

oh also since i've been seeing a lot of discussion about this tonight, just wanna be clear on this:

i am anti-cop, if you support cops you are not welcome on this blog.

[piecesofchess]

Despite it all, I do appreciate KI sticking to regularly celebrating Pride Month despite Everything They Get

[kindaorangey]

unfortunately i am still an introvert after all this time so even if i have a really gratifying and positive interaction with someone outside of my comfort zone i will feel the need to weep afterwards from the stress of it all

[gallawitchxx]

🔮💨 crystal ball weed bong mickey 🔮💨

part 16 for @galladrabbles & @milkovetti's prompt: double date

master post (updates weekly!) | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15

✺ | ✺ | ✺ | ✺ | ✺

Gallagher’s hands flex at his sides, and it’s like Mickey’s noticing them for the first time. He ogles at how big they are, how speckled, how good they’d felt around his own hands in that last vision, how much he wants to feel them around his waist, his throat, his dick…

Flushed, and desperate to end this fucked up double date they’re on with their future selves, Mickey looks down at the soiled carpet.

“But I’m alive?” Gallagher asks.

“Very,” Mickey confirms, eyes lifting again. “Look happy.”

Gallagher’s grin sends sunlight streaming through a house once destined for eternal darkness.

[ultimatebottom69]

Did you ever meet someone missing the fucking point about AI so good they compare a million dollar worth company use of AI (that is made to cut money cost) to a general human audience using it to express their loves to a show/book albeit very misguided ?

If yes. You are entitled to financial compensation.

[vveltergeist]

Seeing all Tituspilled folks having fun with the Repentia!Titus thing is for one very cute and sweet but also has brought to my attention that I needn’t pretend to have dignity, because clearly if this site's purges have done anything, it's to make us stragglers hornier out of spite.

Anyway, this is all to just to say that I want Lotara Sarrin's heels stomping down my throat