#I am just so tired and miserable
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Can we stop posting untagged photos of half dead children on tumblr pls? I can't keep unfollowing you all.
I am well aware there are brutally disfigured and dying children in war-torn countries right now without all these photos of it in my feed.
I am allowed to care and do my best to stop such atrocities without seeing them first hand on the daily on the website I get my memes from.
#like go off and keep doing it but at least fucking tag it#free palestine#donate to pcrf#all that 100%#I am just so tired and miserable#I don't want to keep unfollowing people I like on here#privledged fucking take I know but also you have to take care of yourself in order to have the energy to take care of others#compassion fatigue is very real#I am doing all I can
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When āthe silliesā are 2 dead gay old French men
#the les mis brain rot is BACK BABY#Iām reblogging everything all over again#you canāt escape#I had a stressful train journey and the goddam French are like therapy#jk it wasnāt that bad#my ticket didnāt work so the guy made me buy a new one#I was just tired#uuugghhhh#wow#2 am rambles here we go#Iām fine rly dw#just bein silly#:3#funny#meme#funny meme#les mis#les miserables#valvert#jean valjean
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every time there's a rise in fascist action and power in the us, there's an en masse feminist response of like. affirming that gender is an ontological trait, you can tell what gender someone is without them directly stating it to you, appearance is indicative of gender (rather than just being correlative particularly in conservative populations), gender is a useful signifier of ideology separate from factors such as class and race (and may even be more causative regarding fascist ideology than class or race are), there is no form of gendered oppression targeting men, and there is no form of gendered privilege afforded to women.*
it's annoying! i do not like it.
*nb4 someone gets on my case about how gendered targeting of men is "just" racism/ableism/etc and gendered privilege afforded to women isn't "truly" privilege as men who reap the benefits of patriarchy are still higher in the social hierarchy than women who reap the benefits of patriarchy: we have entirely different modalities for viewing interactions of privilege + power + hegemony. your modality is, in fact, part of what i'm critiquing. it refuses to recognize gender itself as the oppressive structure, and patriarchy as a structure enforcing gender. we can chat in good faith if you want to understand this lens better but like i'm not going to be arguing about it or trying to make a Discourse Post(tm) defending my ideology.
#so many people come to this blog acting like i'm trying to defend an ideology or convert them or create educational resources#in actuality i am just saying things that i don't want to say on my main because i do not affiliate myself with online activism#(not that i think it's bad if other people do. however it would be truly truly horrific for me personally if i were to allow myself to view#the internet as an appropriate space for my activism. it is not and will never be and it is simply a place to speak my personal thoughts.)#and quite honestly as a result i do not think i owe a theoretical ''audience'' defenses or explanations#i will write them out if i am thinking about it and find it interesting and fulfilling#but like. this is a blog. it is not a resource. it is not a fount of activism. it is my space to write out thoughts i do not want to#put out into my low-stakes fandom-based social spaces due to this stressing my friends out irreparably.#(tag ramble fairly unrelated i am just... so tired. this is why i rarely use this blog and i do not check my notes when i do#because the way tumblr users interact with this blog is absolutely fucking miserable and antithetical to my purposes using it)
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Finished the Penacony story and my heart fr stopped at THIS MOMENT
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THAT??? Thatās love.
And then she LITERALLY died for us.
#stellefly#honkai star rail#hsr#penacony spoilers#penacony#ofc she didn't JUST die for us#also she didn't... actually die...#but the romance of her being the one to save us from the dream is MUAH MUAH#stelle's like āmy knight in shining armor š„°ā#firefly she's so amazing she deserves her own post and I'm giving it to her btw#SHE IS SUCH A COMPELLING CHARACTER OUTSIDE OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH THE TRAILBLAZER AND I'M TIRED OF PPL PRETENDING SHE ISN'T#I knew about the princess carry but them flying through the air with fireworks I didn't know that was real OMOAAMFLMSD#THEY'RE SOULMATES#stelfly#steltaru#fireblazer#sparkle ships them so hard. also acheron.#PENACONY FINALE WAS SO FIRE????????#I LOVE Acheron taking on the role of Charon like OMG her story is so sad and she's genuinely so sweet I WILL DIEEEEEE#AND THE OAK SIBLINGS????? I'M DISTRAUGHT#I MISS MISHA SO BAD. HIM LEAVING CLOCKIE WAAAAAAAA. I'M SO MISERABLE HE CAN'T VISIT THE EXPRESS ANYMORE I AM DAMAGED#my son he don't even exist!!#chriterary classics
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not breaking news the absolutely shit ability to estimate the amount of effort and time a project/commitment will take is once again in action.. . .
#[cent miscellaneous]#library of runia#good HEAVENS. heh. wow. ill do this in a few days!!. (ends up having 25+ hours marked in the file). to be fair it isnt bad but i am also#one to be extremely tired easily. plus wanting things to look right. just started the uhh forgot the word. i technically have two things#left to draw but the attempts i have made for it SUCK so i did the panels and now starting Finishing it. for real.#trust. trust. tru#i wont make the mistake of making an estimation time because it makes me feel MISERABLE it will be done when it is finished#will probably post sketches and other drawings if i still cant get it done soon though#i think the notes/ramblings for the piece will be in a reblog? becuase there is quite a bit for it. do not think the tags will fit the shee#amount of talking that i do
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#im having such a miserable time dating in this city that I have actually thought about going back to my ex#not in like a genuinely considered way#just like. fuck. ugh. I am not having a good time#Iām tired lol#and I do miss the company I miss having someone around to cuddle and hug and be physical with#and sheād help me carry and open thingsā¦#ugh#and Iām not someone who like. gets something out of just cuddling friends rly#itās nice sometimes but it by no means gives me what Iām looking for when I seek contact from someone Iām romantically into#whatever#Iām sad#šš¼#batty posts#batwings#oh also disclaimer bc people love to be stupid:#yes Heather and I are still doing well and I love her like crazy#I also canāt really cuddle her while sheās 3000ish km away#so. Yknow
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the amount of times I have potentially controversial opinions that I type up and then save in my drafts forever because I still feel them but am too shy and afraid to choose violence in any way
#wc fandom an absolute mess right now LOL#I'm reserving judgment until i read the new book. I don't believe in having bad faith takes on a book I've never read#if it's bad oh believe me brother you will hear about it when I've read it!#until then all i will do is shake my head at everyone saying ''dont read it it's bad!!!''#no! read it actually! if you want to form and articulate your opinions on something you have to READ IT#you look like a fool if you just go off of hearsay forever#something i see constantly in this fandom is people being like ''i refuse to read some book but can you BELIEVE this happens in it??''#and then say the dumbest shit about a scene taken out of context#yes yes i will never claim this series is well written. it's messy! not denying it#but sometimes y'all overreact in the most insane ways#I'm getting too old for this#sorry wait i just wanna add one more thing which is that if i avoided everything that people told me never to experience#i never would have read some of my favorite books or played some of my favorite games#currently quite obsessed with a game that so many claim is ''the worst entry in the series''#which is a wild thing to say with such confidence for any entry in a series that's been running for over 30 years#anyway i loved it. it's flawed and i loved it. so the rest of the series had better blow me away#pigeon mews#i just woke up i am extremely sleepy#i should not be posting this but I'm doing it#quick clarification: this post is not about people disliking the new book. dislike to your heart's content#this is about people (especially people who haven't read it themselves) saying do not read it because it's bad#maybe I'm just tired of this fandom being so miserable all the time. you don't have to be here if you're not having fun!#anyway. me: I'm too shy to say what i mean. me in the tags: HERE'S WHAT I MEAN lmfao#this post may self destruct (by which i mean get privated) if i feel self conscious about it once I've finished waking up
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#second night in a row where I didn't get hardly any sleep for worry over Nini#I feel like someone scraped my insides clean like shucking a mollusk. hollow.#I know I did the right thing taking her in for that surgery but when the light of your life is sneezing and drooling blood#it's hard to believe in your own choices#I think I've pushed myself too hard this year. lent too much money to friends. did too many projects#but I am the only adult in my own life. I am the person everyone goes to for support#I don't know. it's just. I'm so fucking miserable#and I'm so insanely tired of people asking me for shit
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My head is full of thoughts so I am pouring them into the tags like a pitcher of water so that I can clear out my brain please just donāt mind me šš»
#Ugh#Iām so tired#but if I sleep Iāll feel useless#But if I stay awake Iām gonna stare off into the void and be miserably exhausted#Need to go out and get that bereavement card#But I need a shower#But Iām already dressed#And then thereās that training meeting tonight#But itās on LVADs and I take care of LVAD patients on my unit so squad training for it isnāt a big feal#BUT Iād get paid to be there#But Iām tired#and then canāt have dinner with my fam#Ugh Iāve been awake since 5:45am š©#I need to remember to pray a decade of the rosary too#And lectio divina maybe??#I wanna take a nap#but feel gross#You know what to heck with it#Coffee and shower and upbeat music letās goooo#Is there something wrong with my head or am I just tired LOL#The daily struggle š#ANYWAY BYE TUMBLR I HAVE TO GET OFF MY STUPID BUTT
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You have a Blacephalon? Those are rare in my neck of the woods.
Does it actually try to drain your life force by scaring you, or is that only a myth?
- @megalo-biology
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Is that what's happening???
#Is that what thats about?? What the fuck.#Excuse the strong language. They're extremely underdocumented with such few specimens.#I was unaware of any such rumor but would NOT be surprised.#The Menace takes immense pleasure in startling me around corners and otherwise living up to its rather unofficial nickname#cosmusings#pokemon irl#pkmn irl#rotumblr#rotomblr#pokeblogging#[cyomea buddy... oh you poor thing...]#[i need everyone seeing this to imagine cyomea sitting at the table miserably exhausted like why am i so tired i just woke up???]
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what do you think theyre giggling about
#happy last day of pride month#ergehr nyways im never drawing again#this guy is soo so tired. should really stop staying up all night#magia record#iroha tamaki#sana futaba#irosana#the. cat n dog of all time#this ws mostly just to try and see if i could figure out how to draw from the side cause i dont think ive ever done that#failed miserably i am so so bad at using references
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Trying not to cry on the way home from work is so fun
#the turtle speaks#literally nothing else bad has happened but i am so frustrated and anxious and tired#and like I'm just so fucking miserable
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2024 is probably not my best year now that i think about it
#i mean - let's go over the good ones. i have my own laptop now - i'm doing okay in uni. and I haven't gotten any bad issues with irl stuff#in terms of living i'm doing okay and im pretty content#but emotionally and mentally ? horrendous. I don't think i'm really actually doing okay mentally#im struggling to find myself to be the same person i was awhile back. it just doesn't fit like a puzzle anymore even if it's supposed to fit#whats genuinely saving me from feeling miserable is my current interest which is why i'm really so quick to get excited or happy w it#it's so hard to look at past interests now and not think about the ābadā highlight - even if the good highlights are bigger than the bad#i feel like i'm keeping a facade when i'm talking to people. i feel like im being fake when im talking to people. i just cant find myself to#feel like myself when talking to others. that's why i havent been so active talking unless its close people#i'm scared of not being able to ākeep upā with them. feel boring with them. not feeling like āthe jilā they know#i'm tired. and upset. maybe i am bothered after all#being told that i sounded so fake when i talked really opened my eyes. maybe i am fake because i'm tired. but i wouldn't know#Losing a friend really does something to you huh.
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I just feel so. Gross. There's so many things I can do and yet I do nothing and feel like a complete waste of a human being, which makes me feel even more miserable, which means I have even more trouble with my creative endeavours.
#text#chey.txt#Sometimes it is like... why am I able to do so many things?#When I do nothing?#It is like singing.#I have what has been described as a phenomenal voice#But even when I try to do stuff with it I am kicked down at every turn#I am so very tired all the time.#And I think: how can one person do so much and yet do so little?#Every achievement has amounted to nothing.#A phenomenal voice? Nothing. Playing five instruments? Nothing. A decent writer? Nothing. Multiple degrees? Nothing.#First woman of her ethnicity to graduate that university? Nothing.#A LITERAL LAWYER? Nothing.#I was a lawyer for so little time and then I had to leave because it made me want to die and I was so miserable.#But now I just feel like I am drifting.#I want children but am I too selfish for them?#And then I think it doesn't matter because I cannot be attracted to anything and I hate people touching me sexually#So I can never have a normal relationship to even have children. I will support myself and be alone my entire life.#I can't even make friends.#It is my birthday in two months. A milestone birthday. What does it matter? I doubt people will remember it.#My previous ones weren't usually remembered.#And I like my job well enough but I am so overqualified for it and underpaid for my skills as a result.#There's no fixing that either really. It adds to the drifting.
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