#I am in love with Amara

[soft-pine]

when i think about this scene from 15.15 it makes me want to chew glass and tear up the walls in rage.

AMARA: I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person, that the myth you'd held onto for so long of a better life, a life where she lived, was just that, a myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life.

for the record i want to say i am a known amara-hater. don't like the non-con shit. don't like that she's doing what so many beings in spn do and narrativizing dean's life back at him while judging him because she drew the wrong conclusions. but i think fandom does have a tendency to take those claims at face value because that is easier than combing back through to check if it's correct or not. (see for example, rachel saying dean only calls cas when he needs him in 6.18. narrativizing, incorrectly. but i digress)

so let's talk about mary. because, through the seething rage, i think two main things about this claim. 1. dean does not have this mythos around mary and 2. mary has arguably more of that mythos around dean.

first off, we'll tackle the claim that it's a myth that if mary hadn't died, dean wouldn't have a better life. because that is absolute, utter, dogshit. OF COURSE HE'D HAVE A BETTER LIFE. while i will always maintain that clearly mary and john were far from stable before she died, her death was what speared john forward into hunting, into turning his kids into soldiers, into neglect and parentifying, and every other god forsaken thing he did. "a better life, a life where she lived, was just that, a myth" - girl, i DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE DIVINE, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

like please don't come here acting like dean grieving the future he could have had that didn't include him taking care of his younger brother alone in motel rooms for days while maybe actually being left as bait for the Kid-Eater is a character flaw on his part that he needs to learn better from.

next, amara claims dean needs to see the "real, complicated Mary."

but hasn't he? dean goes back in time and meets his mom in 4.03 and 5.13. and both times he treats her both as a competent hunter and a colleague. like to be clear, before that, i dont think he was wrong to be relying on a four-year-old's memory of what his mom was like because that's literally all he had access to. but dean actually did meet and interact with the whole, complex woman who was his mother long before amara decided to teach him a lesson with her as the homework. in both 4.03 and 5.13, dean tries to give mary advice to save her life but he doesn't belittle her experience hunting or her desire to leave and life a normal life. i don't know what more you want from him in terms of interacting with his mom as a whole, real, complex person?

this also applies wholly and completely to his interactions with her when she returns in s12. he apologizes for being nervous for her safety (AFTER SHE WAS JUST RESSURECTED) at first. mary says she wants to hunt, dean gets on board. mary says she needs space, dean asks clarifying questions to best support her request. he gets mad at her not for being who she is or needing what she needs but for lying to him for months and working with people who tortured him and sam.

in fact, s12 is what i would point to to indicate how well dean articulates and navigates the nuance of being hurt by someone's actions while still understanding and empathizing with why they did it and forgiving them. for example, he says this in 12.04

DEAN: This whole mom thing, it's... I mean, we get her back, and then she leaves. I hate it, but I get it. I do. I guess I'm just...still working through some of that crap. I'll try to be less of a dick about it.

[you're not a dick, dean, ilu]

in fact, dean's much maligned "how 'bout for once, you just try to be a mom?" isn't even about dean wanting anything particularly maternal from mary. it's about him not wanting her to ditch them to hunt alone and/or with the aforementioned torturers.

so circling back to amara's speech about expectations and myths. cause while her words do not apply to dean. amara's speech does remind me of something that happens upon mary's return in s12. these lines from 12.03:

DEAN: Mom, it's okay. All right? You're home now. MARY: No. I'm not. I miss John. I miss my boys. SAM: We're right here, mom. MARY: I know. In my head. But I'm still mourning them as I knew them. My baby Sam. My little boy Dean. Just feels like yesterday, we were together in heaven, and now...I'm her, and John is gone, and they're gone. And every moment I spend with you reminds me every moment I lost with them.

of course she has every right to grieve the time she lost with her kids. but someone in this room is having trouble really looking at the people in front of them because of their idealized memory of who they were compared to are and It Is Not Dean.

and i just think about dean's speech in 12.22. cause it wasn't dean that needed to see the real mary. it was mary, tucked away in her dream world where sam is a baby and dean is a little elementary schooler who likes pie and has never held a gun, who needed to see the real dean.

[boxdstars]

Obligatory Picrew Chain ✨

—because this one is especially cute and I want to see everyone’s mcs in this one!

Link: https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/69673

no pressure tags for the homies: @heyitszev @faustinio27 @choccy-milky @a-florable @boomingsmile @shanaraharlyah @ladyofsappho @espressoristretto-patronum @starryslytherin0 + you!!

[x-mensirens]

It's way too crowded, down here!

[dyne-osaur]

NOT enough people draw unit 919 THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I WOULD DIE FOR THEM

so anyways, some food

sketch under the cut

there was no room for my babies francis and mahir </3

[mxwhore]

yes the "they would NEVER have children" crowd are always 98% correct but also. all the character exploration is so worth it for me. bye

[the-mpreg-guy]

not a mary winchester lover, not a mary winchester hater, but a secret third thing

[wundrousarts]

I would love to see Lam in your style!!

Ask and ye shall receive 🤝

I like the idea of her having glasses, to fit her Oracle knack, but they’re fake, to fit the idea of her sort of being in disguise/hiding :) Giving Nevermoor characters glasses is a great hobby of mine lol

[funktechnisch]

another (belated) secret santa piece! this time for @secxen of their tav, amara [any pronouns]

[kirnet]

estherrrrr <3 (+amara)

[19catsncounting]

Therapy isn't enough I need the CW to go back and re-film Season 11 to prove that Lucifer could have been saved if Michael didn't abandon him like Dean refused to abandon Sam.

[iamthecomet]

🎧🩵

Finish Them - Cattle Decapitation (my most listened to song on Spotify of ALL TIME btw). I would love to just put all the lyrics here because they're all incredible, but this one stands out:

[shellibisshe]

— picrew tag

tagged by @jendoe @phillipsgraves @risingsh0t @marivenah @nightbloodraelle @corvosattano to make some ships in this picrew

heads a little empty, I can’t remember who’s done this yet so no tags, but if you want to do this then tag me!

levi & kyle

amara & delsin

amara & fetch

[boxdstars]

I love how so many peoples MC’s are bad or generally dislike divination 😭💀 if anything this would make Amara so incredibly insufferable about it because it’s something that alongside dueling (but the MC is good at that too) she can boast relentlessly to them.

I think it’s a class that is either extremely easy, or impossible depending on intuition and the like. So Amara is just looking at everyone like:

[winksasleeplesseye]

now that I think about it…leon definitely fell first and amara fell harder and that’s on peeta and katniss level vibes/trope

[ashenberry]

For your blorbos: apollo, TRUCY, jove, big man :3, the snakes from metal gear i cannot tell them apart i am so sorry, your ocs are all so blorbo to you as well but im on 30mg of weed gummy so i dont remember any of their names

God your so correct I do love all these characters an unnormal amount

[gcdschoscn]

amara’s  heart  skipped  a  beat  as  micah’s  words  hung  in  the  air.  the  usually  disciplined  and  reserved  CEO  seemed  different  tonight,  like  the  shimmering  lights  of  new  year’s  eve  had  cast  a  spell  over  him,  making  him  more  daring,  more  genuine.  she  watched  him  close  his  laptop  with  that  final,  resolute  click,  a  clear  signal  that  the  spreadsheets  and  emails  were  losing  the  battle  against  something  far  more  unpredictable—this  moment  between  them.  she  hesitated,  feeling  the  weight  of  his  gaze.  the  idea  of  being  the  one  to  make  a  decision  was  thrilling,  it  wasn't  how  the  power  played  between  them.  amara  wasn’t  used  to  steering  the  course  of  her  evenings,  let  alone  on  such  a  charged  occasion.  she  stood  by  the  vast  window,  watching  the  fireworks  burst  into  brilliant  colors  against  the  night  sky,  their  reflections  dancing  in  her  eyes.  “micah  .  .  .”  she  paused,  looking  over  her  shoulder,  her  voice  a  soft  murmur  over  the  clinks  of  ice  against  the  glass  of  his  bourbon.  “i  think  .  .  .  we  could  make  our  own  rules  tonight,  just  for  a  while.”  her  words  were  a  tentative  step  toward  him,  a  gentle  prod  at  the  boundaries  he  usually  set.

 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏  𝒇𝒐𝒓  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕  —  watching  a  symphony  of  fireworks  painting  the  night  sky  beyond  the  glass  of  his  office  window  ,  while  savoring  the  smooth  ,  smoky  warmth  of  his  favorite  bourbon  .  then  diving  into  the  familiar  sea  of  spreadsheets  ,  their  numbers  etched  into  his  mind  like  constellations  .  but  when  she  appeared  he  knew  all  that  was  forgotten  ."  if  you  stay  up  here  I  have  to  be  honest  —  I  might  not  be  able  to  keep  my  hands  to  myself  .  "  he  aways  refrained  from  office  relationships  .  wary  of  the  chaos  they  could  unleash  ,  but  something  about  her  made  him  bend  his  rules  .  "  there  is  plenty  of  room  to  do  whatever  we  want  ,  ill  let  you  decide  ."  devilish  smirk  is  in  full  effect  ,  closing  his  laptop  with  a  decisive  click  ,  knowing  not  much  else  would  be  getting  done  for  the  night  .