#I am going to turn into confetti with all this cute art oh my god

[somegrumpynerd]

Been playing around with our sonas

I drew him with reference this timeeeee

Sorry I feel like I've been bombarding you with asks I can't help it 😭

BRO THAT'S MY LITTLE GUY!!!!!!! I swear you're like midas but instead of gold everything you touch turns to adorable beautiful art I need to lie on my bed and sob LOOK AT HOW CUTE!!!!!!!

And you can bombard me with asks always!!! I am putting a cat door on my inbox so you can come and go whenever you want :D

[can-i-stay-awake]

Flower Bouquet: Moonflowers (Seonghwa x Reader) Part 1

Warnings: Insomnia? We’re not far into that boat yet, my angels

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Slow burn

Word Count: 2k

Series Masterlist

Spring’s warm breeze caresses your cheeks as you make your way to your school. You adjust the short sleeves of your summer uniform. You quite liked it. Crisp white school blouse with the very end of the sleeves lines with the same red tartan as your skirt and black tie. Though many of the female students chose to wear white knee highs, you couldn’t be bothered to shave this week so you wore black tights. To be honest, no one actually cared whether you shaved them or not but to you, it’s a matter of confidence. For such a rich school with rich or smart students gifted with scholarships, the people there aren’t as bad as you thought they would be. Of course there are the populars and whatnot but if ignored they ignore you. It’s really not your forte, speaking with people. You can’t say you’re introverted, but there’s no one who really connects to you.

It hasn’t been long since you’ve transferred here. Being a scholarship student is hard when all people care about it your money and looks… Or so you thought. After standing up for yourself to many various people and even publicly humiliating one of the most feared bullies in school, Kang Yeosang, you are neither glorified nor bullied. Though your classmates in English particularly enjoy your company to the point where you think you should just rename yourself, “Hey, what did you get for question six?”. You’ve only made friends with Yuna, a cute little (extremely tall) bespectacled girl whose potty mouth could possibly give sailors a run for their money.

“Y/n! Do you know what happened last weekend?” Yuna’s blonde hair dances in the light summer breeze. Her loud voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“What happened, Yuna? Did a goat break through your garden fence?” You reply sarcastically, linking your arms together. Her warmth gives you a little comfort.

“No, I wish. I want a pet goat. My brother’s getting married!” Yuna’s gorgeous amber eyes have drops of sunlight swimming in them and you can’t help but smile.

“Oh? Tell him I said congratulations”

“Will do. I’ll also ask if he wants a goat” She flashes a cheeky grin.

“I don’t think he wants anymore goats in the house. You’re good enough” You snicker, squeezing her arm tighter after she punches you in the arm playfully. Your feet clatter against the pavement and you two cross the polished school entrance.

For you, school is more of a place to learn rather than a place to socialise. Unlike others, who use this school as a place for their popularity to thrive, you are among those who keep their heads down and only have a select few to mingle with. You met the bubbly blonde on your first day as she showed you the way to biology, her sassy sweet dual personality humoured you and you two immediately clicked. Sadly, Yuna is more of an artistic person and you only have English together. So instead of sticking together, you are forced to part.

The low hum of the biology teacher’s voice just barely reaches you, your hands scribble at your paper like you’re trying to win a war as you frantically note everything he says down. The scent of oranges fills the classroom. In a way, it’s how you feel at home in biology. Today the teacher is going especially fast with her notes. Pain ebbs at your wrists and you let your eyes wander around the classroom. They travel to the windows, the glass pane reflecting the light of the sun, then they travel to the colourful diagrams made by other classes and they finally fell on the neat, colour coded notes of your desk mate, Park Seonghwa.

His handwriting isn’t very special, but the way the letters are spaced out makes it look mature and refined. The dark haired boy even has a blue colour scheme: azure, cobalt and cyan dotted across the page framed by drawn on silver stars.

Truth be told, both you and Seonghwa are quite shy so the only conversation you’ve actually shared this week was when he didn’t have a pencil because he let Hongjoong borrow his. But you two know each other well and even have a few inside jokes. You two tried to hold a conversation about you two signing up to tutor struggling students but Wooyoung burst in screeching about god knows what. It’s not like you to blurt random things out but before you can stop yourself, you whisper in awe.

“Wow, your notes are super neat. You could put that on study gram…”

Seonghwa’s face visibly brightens from the praise, a smile briefly on his face before returning to his textbook. You never notice the faint rings under his eyes once his stops smiling. “Oh, thanks Y/n”

You were always a little curious about Park Seonghwa, but you never realised how intriguing he is. Little things like the way he acts all cute with Hongjoong to get his attention, and how he has nearly a motherly impact on even the outcasts like Kang Yeosang by letting him keep the black raincoat he was forced to borrow when you can see from the dark haired boy’s shoes that they are a little beaten up. Of course, since he’s so organised, no one even notices the way he secretly calculates his lunch money instead of just pressing his card on the scanner. You too, are practically broke but you can afford decent shoes without worrying about the price. These little things that tend to slip other’s minds are tattooed into your eyesight, highlighted in fluorescent colours.

A few days later, once again in biology, his complexion looks seedy and tired. His skin is dull and the charismatic glow in his voice is jaded. Throughout the week, he becomes progressively more scatterbrained. Like that time in computing science when he dropped his earphones and bashed his head on the upside of his computing desk while trying to retrieve it, and the time he literally forgot his pencil case. The teachers look concerned and it’s quite evident they’ve already checked up on him only to be faced with a half assed reassuring smile.

“Jesus, Seonghwa looks like a mess… I feel bad for the poor guy.” Yuna exclaims, “He’s running for student council president but if he’s like this, he’ll faint dead away. Should I check up on him?” You two watch him practically sleepwalking to his form room, his footsteps dragging and hands rubbing at his eyes. Yuna has an eye for these things too, perhaps she’s not as attentive as you, but definitely more than most.

“Yeah, I’m thinking of doing just that. He’s a zombie.”

Two days pass and Seonghwa looks a little better after Hongjoong practically forced him to sleep, threatening to throw confetti at him which he had brought from the art room. You’ve been trying to find the right time since you can’t just go, “Oh hi, you look like shit. Are you good?” And biology seems too far away for you to communicate, but you decide to wait until then. But somehow, it’s like the gods placed the keys right in your hands and shoved you towards him when you meet him in the supermarket. You buy two packets of strawberries, one for yourself and another for Seonghwa. He smiles at you but his face is now painted over with thick coats of fatigue and the concern probably shows on your face because he stifles a yawn.

“Hey” You greet him, queuing behind him in the long ass line you wish would just move already.

“Hi, Y/n. How have you been doing?”

“Good, you?”

“Good” It’s hard to continue a conversation like this, but you stubbornly press on. Seonghwa looks tired but he’s not facing away from you either and you’ve got his full attention. “Really? You’ve been looking rough nowadays. You should take care of your health. Don’t you always nag Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Jongho about the exact same thing?”

“Oh, how do you know that?” He fakes surprise, trying to steer the topic away from him. You can’t pressure him to say he’s not fine, but you sigh.

“Yuna and Hongjoong are friends. You did hear what I said, right? Take care of your health” You nag and he pouts.

“I am, Y/n. It’s just the election is stressing me out a little.” His eyes swerve to the bottom left, an obvious lie.

“Alright, but I can help you with it. Okay? You’re a literal zombie nowadays. Even our English teacher realised that you’re not in good spirits, and she’s more oblivious and air headed than a four year old”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry for worrying you, I’ll take care of myself” He giggles, you can see the colour rising in his cheeks after a light hearted conversation. You’re not really that good with words, but if it makes him feel better, you’ll gladly do so.

The line progresses, and he lets you go first. Scanning the two boxes of strawberries and placing one in your schoolbag. You wait outside for the boy to scan various groceries and sweets and as he approaches the doorway you stop him.

“Seonghwa”

He turns around, the orange light of the evening sun blazing in his eyes. His dark hair dances in the wind.

“Take this” You hand him the box of strawberries and he’s lost for words, blushing and stammering.

It’s cute.

Very cute.

“Y/n, I r-really can’t take this! It’s yours!” He tries to hand it back to you but you firmly press the transparent container to his chest.

“Yeah, well I accidentally took two. This one’s for Yuna” You shake the bag you’re holding in your right hand. “I don’t like strawberries anyway”

His gaze is skeptical but he smiles sweetly and thanks you profusely. “Sure… Thank you so much Y/n! I’ll pay you back somehow, kay?”

“Park Seonghwa, you pay me back I break your back” You bark, but you let out a small laugh and he does too.

“Gosh, I ought to hire bodyguards” The light that Seonghwa’s eyes hold is so vibrant not even the milky way could hold a candle to the sparkles swimming in his warm gaze. “Thank you again, Y/n” He yells as he walks away from you.

“No problem, have a nice day and make sure to get some sleep” You holler back. As you make your way back home, your heart bubbles and fizzes like the drinks you see Mingi consume on a daily basis.

That night, you sleep well. No emptiness, no gaping void, no nightmares.

Just the comfort of your bed in the sea of your blankets.

It’s too bright this morning, too pretty with the flowers decorating the school entrance, too ethereal with the honey glow of the sun kissing your skin. Though it’s a little too hot, you keep a mini fan in your school bag and sunscreen to prevent anyone from dying.

“Hey, Yuna! I gave Seonghwa a box of strawberries after I met him in the grocery shop!”

“And good morning to you too” Yuna raises a brow, her eyes no longer framed by glasses but the faint outline of her contact lenses over her irises. She grins as you hand her a box. “For me?”

“For you” You smile as you two walk to school together.

“Hey! He looks better today!” You nudge her excitedly as you see the tall, handsome boy massaging red headed Hongjoong’s shoulders, exclaiming about how stiff he is. Though his energy isn’t up to 100%, you’re happy that he’s improving.

Or so you think.

“Seonghwa! Your votes are nearly taking the lead!” Yunho exclaims as they check the little website Wooyoung composed for the student council election.

“Oh? That’s nice” Yunho furrows his brow at Seonghwa’s nonchalant attitude.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to faint…” Yunho steadies the smaller of the two in his chair. Seonghwa giggles.

“You don’t need to worry about me, Yunho. I’ll go to the nurse’s if I’m not feeling great” He smiles, exhausted.

The brunet narrows his eyes, “Sure… I’m getting someone to check up on you, I have a meeting in the art club. Don’t move” Yunho rushes out the doorway only to meet you, on your phone checking your emails.

“Y/n, Seonghwa looks like he’s going to pass out. Could you keep an eye on him, please?”

“You don’t need to do that! I’m fine!” Seonghwa yells from the classroom but his voice is groggy, “and you definitely don’t need to do anything!” You look at Yunho, nodding and entering the classroom.

“Enjoy art club Yun-”

Thump.

You and Yunho pause to see an unconscious Seonghwa sliding sideways off of his chair and onto the floor. His hair flying to one side and his eyes fluttering shut. 

“Shit!” You dash to Seonghwa side and Yunho calls out his name. “We should get him to the nurses!”

Yunho nods and you raise his legs into Yunho’s arms until the brown haired boy stabilises his grip on Seonghwa, still knocked out. You open the doors for Yunho as he dashes to the nurses, you feel agony shoot through your heart like an arrow when you see the elder’s head lolling in Yunho’s embrace. The students around you clear a pathway, murmurs filling your ears and looks of concern covering your vision. 

The nurse, who everyone calls Minnie, puts Seonghwa in a comfortable position on entering, you realise Hongjoong already there gasping for breath. He probably caught wind of Seonghwa fainting and dashed to the office. 

“Sorry kids, only one of you can stay. It’s better not to startle Mr. Park.” Minnie’s soft voice soothes everyone’s panic. Even Hongjoong’s posture is slightly more relaxed, you've never seen him without his overly perfect stance and you're reminded that perhaps the redhead isn't as studious as he comes across. Yunho nods, rushing off to the art club, Hongjoong looks longingly over his shoulder as he leaves. 

”I’ll stay.” You announce. Nurse Minnie nods and pulls over a chair for you adjacent to Seonghwa’s freshly made bed. After opening a window and letting the breeze sway the curtains, you settle in and sit beside Seonghwa. His curls are splayed out on his pillow in such a disorganised but perfect way.

”Y/n..?” A voice deep with fatigue calls out to you and you have to restrain yourself from jumping up to the call. 

”Seonghwa...” Is all you can say as he groans and shuffles his pillows. You give him a glass of water and colour bleeds back into his face.

”Hey.” He smiles, rubbing at his eyes. 

”Is that all you can say when you've practically overworked yourself to the point of fainting?” You manage to keep your voice soft but you know he can hear the pout in your voice. ”Hwa...” Gently cupping one hand around his wrist, you see concealer on the finger he used to rub his eye with. You look back up at his face and a hint of dark circles are more evident on his porcelain face.

”I should get better concealer... Don't look at me like that, your expression looks like a cat eating a lemon, down to a cinch.” He chuckles but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. The aroma of citrus (with a hint of candy) fills the room. It reminds you of biology class and you realise the scent is coming from him. 

“What do you even do? And why does it get in the way of your sleep? Is it insomnia?” You try to coax an answer from him, but you know you can only go far. “You don’t need to tell me, but it might help to tell someone” Seonghwa grins, sinking further into his covers.

“You don’t need to worry about me” He whispers, and you see his legs adapt the fetal position.

“But I do, because you’re my friend.” 

“Am I?” Seonghwa’s dark eyes are once again all a-glimmer, his eyebrows are raised in surprise. It’s as if you’ve offered him a lifetimes supply of strawberries.

You stop yourself from doubling over and giggling, perhaps you understand why girls and boys alike look at Seonghwa the way they do. His calm and cool demeanour is alluring but those rare times where he opens up is what pulls you in. “Of course” You smile, and perhaps the blush dusted on Seonghwa cheeks isn’t a hallucination. 

“If you really want to know, I’m busy looking after my younger cousins, Jihyo and Daehyun. My siblings and parents are barely home.” 

“Seonghwa...” Concern once again bleeds into your face but the latter interjects before it settles. 

“They’re super adorable though! And well behaved! It’s nothing to worry about” But one look at the dark patches under his eyes tell you otherwise. 

“If you’re fainting due to exhaustion, it is a big deal” 

“It was super hot today though, it could have been because of that” His long fingers run through his hair and it falls perfectly back into place. You’re tempted to ask what shampoo he uses but you snap out of it. “Seonghwa. Do you want me to help?”

“Help? It’s not a big deal!” 

“If I bought Hongjoong here-“ You could see in his expression that he was awaiting Hongjoong’s nagging ever since you told him that Hongjoong and Yunho brought him here.

“No! Fine... He’ll nag my ear off” Red lips form a pout, his head drops. “He talks for so long that he ends up repeating everything he says and if you try and argue he starts all over again”

“I know. Remember when Jongho sprained his ankle playing basketball?” Hongjoong’s normally quiet and composed voice thundered throughout the hallways so loudly even the teachers dared not to intervene. 

“Exactly, I’ll die. You don’t want me to die, do you y/n?” Seonghwa looks up at you and uses the type of gaze you give teachers when you want to skip PE. He pouts even harder and when you grumble, he giggles. 

“I’m still coming over. If you’re not well rested by the time I’m finished playing with your cousin I’m moving in” Though these are jokes you usually pull with closer friends, something about your relationship with Seonghwa connects. You feel your presence calming him down and his soothing the creases on your brow. 

“I got it” He giggles and covers his mouth with his hand. ”When are you free? I'm free all week, including today”  

”Hmm, I have to help out Hongjoong with student council shit today... Is it alright if I come tomorrow?” 

”Sure! I'm positive Jihyo will enjoy some company. Daehyun is a little older and introverted, but she's tired looking after her younger sister too. We can look after them together” That’s not your plan, but you nod and smile. 

After school that next day, you wait for Seonghwa outside the gates. Unlike the cute, laid back persona he adapted in the nurse’s office the other day, his posture is perfect and his movements as elegant as a swan. It’s a facade, but a natural one that doesn’t stem from bad pasts. It’s just Seonghwa. 

You like ‘just Seonghwa’. 

”Y/n!” He waves and you wave back as his feet pick up the pace. ”Hey” He looks a little brazen, and you wonder if Hongjoong’s nagged him for returning to school beforehand.

”Hey Seonghwa! Did you stay in the nurse’s office or did you go to class yesterday? I didn’t see you leave”

”I had French. What do you think?” Seonghwa loathes his French teacher, who always makes loud noises and is way too animated and not focused enough on teaching. Seonghwa says that he seems like a nice person but he's not good enough of a teacher. You've yet to meet this man but you'd rather not if he ”has an attention span of a seven-year-old on a sugar high”. You two have some small talk until you reach his neighbourhood. ”Y/n, we need to be super careful. This isn't a good area.” He looks embarrassed and you try to wipe the anxious look on his face.

”I live pretty nearby, don’t worry. No fear! I have a death stare stronger than... I don’t know, who has really good death stare game?” 

“Medusa?” He chuckles.

“Medusa!” You giggle and you spot the tips of his ears flush. 

“I don’t have that much of an intimidating stare-“ Seonghwa is interrupted by a loud cat call in your direction, something about how your cute uniform would look cuter on the floor. “Fuck off!” He yells and the man is about to square up until you both shoot him a warning glare. You clutch the hockey stick in your hand you carry for PE and he leaves.

“I’ve never heard you curse before...” The Seonghwa you know is always poised and perfect, a gentle aura follows his wake as an ethereal glow does with an angel. He’s the one that whacks Wooyoung and San over the head with a rolled up chemistry booklet whenever they let a few foul words pass so you’d never imagine that kind of language. It was yet another side of Park Seonghwa you’ve just discovered.

“I’ve never seen you with such a face before...” You two both start laughing. He pulls out his phone and types frantically at his keyboard. Something motherly and caring lingers on his face as he picks up the phone and loving asks whom you presume is Daehyun, to be careful on the bus home.

 “Aww, what a caring brother”

Seonghwa flashes a painful smile your way. It’s one of the cutest things about him, you think. “She’s a scatterbrain. I can’t let her out of my sight! Little sisters are a handful I swear” 

You laugh at the overly exaggerated pout and huff that graces his features. 

“Oh, how’s the student council election going?” Seonghwa brushes his hair back with one hand and nervously chuckles. 

“I’m second place, but Hongjoong is pretty far ahead. I don’t actually mind very much. I just thought it would look good on my resume. Hongjoong is more the leader type, but if I’m being honest, I don’t think he wants to be elected” His eyes met yours and you admire the emotional intellect he holds to see past Hongjoong’s quiet and distant mask. He’s very extroverted when people come up to him, but whenever he’s alone you think that there’s a different world he sees through those starry eyes.

“Oh? Why so?” 

Seonghwa’s walking pace slows a little, “It’s a guess, but Hongjoong’s parents seem to pressure him a lot. His grades, to be exact. Maybe I’m wrong, and maybe he has super nice parents. But I don’t think that’s likely” His gaze is downcast and pity pangs at your heart.

“Oh no...” You look at your black polished shoes and the flutter of your skirt as the grey pavement moves along with your footfalls. 

“All families have at least something to deal with. Some problems bigger than others” The two of you exit the dark alleyway into a block of Tennant flats and he fumbles for his keys as you cross the third one. “Where are you going, Y/n?” He chuckles as you accidentally pass the red door to his house. 

“Ah! Whoops! I went to the direction of my house by mistake!” You chuckle and wait patiently for him to unlock the door. A pastel yellow chick key charm swings as the silver of his keys shine in the streetlights. ”Cute charm” 

Seonghwa blushes. ”Oh, Daehyun got matching ones for us at a school festival. It's totally unlike her too, she's kind of well... See for yourself, she's probably home by now” 

The creak of the doorway makes you want to oil it right away but you stay put. Seonghwa takes his somehow unscratched and polished shoes on the mat and you do. “Sorry, I tried to clean but it’s a bit messy” 

Pearly white sofas blessed your vision, not a single hair nor stain defacing it, the oak floor gleamed like water in the sunlight. The marble dining table sparkled, an equally clean vase where a single (artificial) pink rose sat. In baskets suspended by chains by the windows, there lay a few moonflowers nearly in bloom. The furniture isn’t very expensive, perhaps a little more than outside your budget, but the pristine perfect polishing made the place look like a palace. 

“Messy? What’s clean to you?” You gasp in astonishment as he leads you to the living room where a blonde girl and a dark haired toddler sat. 

“Hey, Daehyun. Hiya, Jihyo! How was school?” Seonghwa’s loving tone changes to a cooing, sweet one when addressing Jihyo. Jihyo runs into Seonghwa’s arms and he lifts her up, giggling. She replies with something about finger painting. 

Daehyun’s blank gaze turns to you, a hint of curiosity in her eye. She waves at you calmly and you return it. “Hey, Daehyun, isn’t it?”

“Yep. Hi, Y/n. Can I call you that?”

“You can call me anything unless it’s “lady hand me down”, I’ve heard that so many times I’m ready to go on a killing spree” You joke, and Daehyun smiles slightly. 

“Jihyo, this is Y/n. We can all play together!” Seonghwa giggles in his sing-song-y drawl. He puts her down and her brown eyes shift to you, assessing you in a little kid way before giggling. 

“Hiya! I’m Jihyo~” She lisps, her words slightly broken but adorable all the same. You coo and crouch down to give her a high five. 

“How was school, Dae?” Seonghwa turns to the middle child, who huffs in annoyance.

“They never serve the good food. If I die of food poisoning, I’m suing them. They ruined salmon for me” You expect Seonghwa to chuckle, but he looks dead serious as he rolls his white sleeves up.

“That’s abuse. Shouldn’t they give you good food so that you can learn better? What non edible junk do they give you? How bad does it taste that it ruined salmon for you?” Daehyun replies with a gagging noise and they chuckle. You stare at her for a little, Daehyun is a lot like Seonghwa. Cold exterior, warm interior. Perhaps even colder than him, but easy to thaw. 

Jihyo waddles up to you after retrieving something from her vibrant pink toy box in the corner. “Blocks?” 

“You wanna play with them, Jihyo?” Seonghwa asks, his lips are upturned in a huge dorky grin and you feel your heart melt at the sight. 

“Seonghwa, you are to rest” You order in what you hope is an authoritative tone. 

It isn’t. 

“Seonghwa, you are to rest” He mocks your high pitches tone and pinches your nose. “Heard this from Hongjoong, not from you, please!” He pouts but you, though it takes a lot of willpower, don’t give in. 

“Nope, go to bed” 

“Y/n, will I have to go to bed!?” Jihyo pouts, and you wonder if it runs in the family. 

“Not you, angel” You smile softly. 

Daehyun looks up from her chemistry textbook and sighs, “Go. To. Sleep. Seonghwa. Or. I’ll-” 

Seonghwa jolts and rushes across the room, the action reminding you of the Angry Birds slingshot animation and covers her mouth, face red and fuming. ”Daehyun, you better not blab” He squeaks and Daehyun blinks, his hand still over her mouth.

“Then sleep, dumbass. Take some rest, or else I’ll knock you out” Her muffled voice makes you laugh a little.

“Isn’t that normal sibling stuff? You know, dumb threats?”

Seonghwa’s eyes widen in seriousness, “No, I swear, she actually means it sometimes. She once put a sleeping pill in my milk, the snake” 

“I did” Daehyun’s comically monotone voice back him up, her eyes not once leaving her book.

“I should have you arrested” He jokes and she smirks, “But I shouldn’t leave a guest here alone. It’s bad manners”

“I came here so you could rest, Hwa. Please take some rest.” You tell him. Seonghwa looks troubled and he sighs. 

“I’ll still be in this room to check up on you guys. But thanks” His looks a little stressed but after you make Jihyo laugh. Perhaps it’s the wave of relief the he feels, but the atmosphere in the room brightens, the orange hue of the evening sunshine painting streaks across your faces.  

Jihyo is extremely energetic, but when she sees you try to stifle a yawn, she lets out a concerned squeak. “Are you tired? Do you want to take a nap?” She asks, and you find it amazing how such a young child can read your emotions so well. 

“I’m alright, Jihyo, angel”

“Why do you call me that?” She stutters in her cute drawl. 

“Yeah, have you seen the Biblical versions of them?” Daehyun jokes, somehow managing to hear you from her electric blue headphones.

“Well, angels are very cute. And they bring happiness to people!”

“My mommy says all I bring her is-“ Seonghwa, who you thought was asleep, suddenly sits up from the couch and coughs. Jihyo is silenced immediately. 

“Please, excuse us” The dark haired boy picks up his young cousin and leads her to the side room to your left. His expression isn’t angry, but worried. 

You have a gut feeling that perhaps Jihyo had no choice but to observe the emotions of the people surrounding her.

Daehyun’s growls under her breath. 

“Is everything alright? Y-you don’t need to tell me, I don’t mean to meddle-“

“No, it’s fine. It’s just that our Auntie isn’t very nice. Me and Seonghwa just have busy parents, but Jihyo’s mum isn’t... Fit to be a parent” Her voice his still expressionless, not a hint of pity. She sounded as if she were giving a presentation. But her fists are clenched by he side. “Poor kid. She doesn’t know that her mum’s an asshole. She just thinks it’s how people show love. She’s only been here for a month or so, so Seonghwa and I are trying to help her out”

“Family is... A sensitive subject, huh? Is there even such thing as a perfect family like in the movies?” You didn’t mean to say it out loud, but Daehyun nods.

“Nope, don’t think so”

You feel the happy, cheerful morale drop into the pit of the earth as Seonghwa and Jihyo exit the room. Seonghwa looks more shaken than the surprisingly cheerful girl holding his hand.

“Dae, you don’t mind watching her for a little bit right? Call me if you need anything” He suddenly pulls you up and takes an umbrella out of the store cupboard by the shoe rack of his doorway.

“Kay, go” Daehyun hops off of the couch to watch TV with Jihyo on the couch, cuddling her as if she were a glass ornament rather than a four year old girl.

The choir of raindrops hitting the pavement of Seonghwa’s street resonates with your footsteps. He coughs awkwardly to break the silence.

“It was weird for you, right? I’m sorry” He mutters. Green cloth shoots into the sky and spreads its wings like a butterfly. He holds the strongly viridescent coloured umbrella above your heads, inching closer in order to share.

“What? No! Never! It’s totally fine! These things happen, Seonghwa. They shouldn’t, but they do. I just hope she’s okay”

A trace of anger seeps into his deep brown pupils. “I try to tell her. To re-teach here that she’s not responsible for her mother’s behaviour, but she doesn’t get it. She think Auntie loves her”

“Oh dear” 

“Please... Don’t mention this to any-“

“No, no! I would never! But Seonghwa, you shouldn’t have the burden of unravelling Jihyo’s tangled threads. You’re tired already. You and Daehyun shouldn’t be the ones to do that”

Grief and pity washes upon him, and it trickles into his words like water from a slightly cracked glass bottle. “Dae shouldn’t, I agree. But if I don’t, who will?”

“Can’t you speak to your parents?” 

“They’re stressed and busy-“

“They’re family, Seonghwa. Their occupation doesn’t hold a candle to their own family, let alone children” Your stern voice makes him sigh, and you hold the oak handle of the umbrella with him.

“Not all families are like that, Y/n... But I can’t say my family is one of them. But should I stress them out? They don’t know my Aunt is like this. At all.” His warm hands slightly overlap with yours as he re-adjusts his grip on his umbrella. You feel heat creeping up your cheeks, and out of the corner of your eye, you see Seonghwa turn away but not fast enough to cover his pink dusted cheeks.

“Don’t you think it would be better for Jihyo if a therapist helped her out?” You feel his breath causing a ripple of movement in your hair. The sun bleeds through the cracks left by the grey clouds, but they are barely enough to let the city bask in its glory. 

“You’re right. I didn’t think about it that way. How idiotic am I?”

“You’re not” You stare him dead in the eye, the sincerity of your tone even taking you aback.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. We’re not supposed to know everything, you know? She’s only been here for a month, according to Daehyun, so it’s a lot to take in” Seonghwa’s pinky brushes against the back of palm, before positioning his hand over your own. He squeezes it.

“Thank you, Y/n. I think I really needed to hear that” 

You two go back inside. 

The choir of the rain is mixed with your footsteps and the thump of your heartbeat.

And as Seonghwa edges nearer to take his shoes off, you hear his own rapid thumps.

“Jihyo loves me so much, don’t you, cupcake?” Seonghwa cooes as she crawls onto Seonghwa lap. 

“D-Dae” She squeals, pushing Seonghwa’s head down so she can crawl over his head to get to Daehyun, who is sitting behind him. He looks betrayed and flashes a painful smile at you.

“Nah, you’re just a stepping stone to him. Isn’t he, Jihyo?” Jihyo giggles and snuggles up to Daehyun, who puts her phone aside and taps her nose.

“She’s a baby” You coo, pinching her cheeks.

“Yeah, a baby. I love babies... But this one thinks I’m a stepping stone” Seonghwa pouts playfully.  

“You both have a pouting tendency. Watch a bee doesn’t sting you on the lip” You tease and Seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“A bee would be honoured to die kissing my lips” He flips his hair in a nonchalant manner but then proceeds to cringe. “I’ve been hanging around San and Mingi for too long” 

Daehyun gags. “Never flirt with your crush like that, they’ll get so shook they’ll migrate planets” Jihyo chuckles along with everyone. “Oh, the results of the election are coming out next month, no?”

“Yeah, I kind of don’t want to win though. Too much trouble” Seonghwa ruffles Jihyo’s hair. 

“Y/n, why didn’t you run? You’re a model student, you could have won!”

Poor Seonghwa must be oblivious to the fangirls surrounding him and Hongjoong left and right. You wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Uhh, yeah no. Not my thing. I like receiving orders, not giving them. I’m not the leader type”

Seonghwa pulls a face, “Me neither. Hongjoong is though. Maybe if he stopped daydreaming once in a while, he’d realise that. Though if he doesn’t want to be a part of the Student Council, he can be leader of the Art club. The person currently running is leaving”

“Art club?” Hongjoong had never seemed like the artistic type to you. But then again, you didn’t go to the same classes as him except Maths.

“Yeah, Hongjoong is really good at art. He can do all these weird things with glass. He made that bird for me over there!” Seonghwa points to the display case beside the television, there sat a cerulean glass blue bird. It looks very well done, with the feathers etched in and the beak perfectly shaped. 

“Don’t pull my leg, really?” It looked good enough to sell for quite a lot on a website. Hongjoong could start a business. 

“Yes, really!” He laughs his signature laugh, airy and gentle, and you nearly burst. If you didn’t realise you liked Seonghwa, you sure did now. “Do you want anything to drink?” 

“Oh, no. It’s alright!” You say, but a hiccup follows. Seonghwa chuckles and gets up.

“Water it is then” He waddles into the kitchen, with Jihyo clinging to his leg. “Anything you want, Angel?” He struggles to deal with her weight. 

“C-cookies, Hwa” Seonghwa winces at the puppy eyes before him.

“Not now, angel. You need to have room for dinner” Jihyo grumbles but then points at a bunch of grapes. 

“Wow! What species of toddler is she?” You joke as she hugs a plastic bowl filled with green grapes and goes up on her tiptoes to place it on the marble table. You’ve never met such a pliant kid before and it shocks you to the core.

“An angel, aren’t you, Jihyo?” The taller of the two picks her up so she can push it further into the centre of the table. 

“Yay! Angel!” She giggles.

“Daehyun? Are you hungry?” Seonghwa turns to the blonde, she nods a simple no. 

“Should we watch a movie?” Daehyun asks. “We got that DVD set last week, didn’t we?”

“Oh, yeah! Your call, Y/n” Seonghwa flashes a charming smile at you and you fumble for words.

“S-sure! Jihyo can choose” Jihyo giggles in delight and hops to the box set as Daehyun sets it out. 

“Why is this so deep?” Seonghwa whines, trying to bat away the tears forming in his eyes. You feel your heart shattering even though he isn’t actually that affected by Piggy being killed by the rock.

“Oh no! Don’t cry, we’ll all start crying” You plead, fanning them away. You wonder why Jihyo chose something as morbid as “Lord of the Flies” but she seems rather content with the gore. 

“I won’t cry. I’ll laugh” Daehyun nudges Seonghwa playfully and Seonghwa gets up to chase her. 

“Brat!”

“Oh, boo hoo. Go cry about it”

The entire evening is spent giggling and joking. You think it’s been the best evening in your life. 

“Ah, Y/n!” 

It’s been a few weeks since Seonghwa hung out with you. Ever since then, you two have been talking to each other more often like during breaks and after school activities. Along with Hongjoong and Yunho, you two have been carrying out duties and solving problems together. 

“No, I didn’t get three for question five” You sigh and turn around, to Seonghwa, who pokes you in the cheek with the back of his pen. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t think you said that”

“I’ve been asked that too. I got 37”

“Me too!” That gave you the reassurance that you got the question right. 

“Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to have some bubble tea out in the city for lunch? Just a little thank you for looking after Jihyo again this weekend” He goes a little pink but on his face is a flirty smirk you’ve never seen before. It makes you want to sink under the table and squeal. 

“Sure, but I think I should thank you for intruding” 

“No, I should thank you for helping me out again this week” You reply. The sunlight bursting through the window paints Seonghwa’s complexion, making him look even more devilishly handsome, his dark hair threaded with locks of gold. 

“We’ll be here all day. Just say yes” He flicks at your forehead gently and you smack his shoulder. “Don’t skip PE, Y/n. Jihyo is stronger than you and she failed.” 

“Fine. And do you want me to show you real strength, Park Seonghwa?” You both laugh, and the teacher gives you two a warning glare. 

“No, I swear! Pigeons are FBI robots!” You exclaim, and Seonghwa sniggers.

“So you’re saying if I kill one pigeon’s friends and family it won’t die of depression?” Another shit eating grin forms on his face. It’s so hot you wonder why the ice in your drink hasn’t melted yet, let alone Antarctica thawing. 

“You monster” You playfully pout. A few friends have told you you’ve been hanging out with him too much because you’ve picked up his habits. 

Seonghwa bats his eyelashes, “Moi? I’m an angel”

“Sure...” Seonghwa’s eyes suddenly light up, pulsating with mischievous intent.

“Hongjoong managed to fall asleep in the changing room. Look, I took a picture” Seonghwa wheezes as he unlocks his phone and shows you a picture of the dark haired boy with his eyes fluttered shut and mouth slightly parted. 

“Jesus, no one should be allowed to look that pretty while sleeping” You blurt out in awe. The boy in front of you scoffs. 

“He was drooling, idiot. Anyhow, I’m way more charming than Hongjoong” Seonghwa tries to play it cool, raising his eyebrows and winking but you can sense the jealousy bubbling up within him.

“Jealous?” You snicker, taking a spoonful of the strawberry decorated cake. The sweetness melts in your mouth, along with the fruity tang of the strawberries. 

“No!” He laughs, a little too loudly that the cafe barista looks at him, her pretty doe eyes widened in shock. The boy then clears his throat and proceeds to continue his conversation. “I’m not jealous- Oh, hold on” Seonghwa moves in a little closer to brush off the whipped cream on the corner of you lips. The rough pads of his fingers gliding across the skin of your lips. He smoothly licks it off of his fingers and you both go red after the realisation of what he did. 

“Ah, thanks”

“No problem” He coughs awkwardly. You check the time and tell him that it’s probably a good idea that you two head back to classes. Seonghwa nods, and as you two walk down the road he gently pulls you in by the waist as a car goes by.

“Are you okay? Ugh, drivers” Seonghwa scoffs, and squeezes your waist and then releases you. 

“Hwa!” You dare say that he’s getting bolder nowadays as both of you have realised your feelings for each other. But instead of blowing the candle out directly, you’re both gently waving at the flickering flame. 

“Sorry” He giggles, and you know he doesn’t mean it. “Come to this side” He swaps places with you so that he is on the side of the road closer to cars zooming past.

“Thanks, Seonghwa”

“No problem. Oh goodness the election results are coming out in a few days and I really regret running for it now! I’m so nervous”

You squeeze his upper arm, “Relax. I’m sure you’ll do a great job even if you win. I’ll be here to help out and I’m sure Yunho and the others will be glad to as well”  Seonghwa’s eyes return to their normal, bright and sparkly sheen. 

“Really?” His voice holds the innocence of a four year old, despite his deep and elegant drawl.

“Really” 

That night, you can feel Seonghwa’s restlessness from blocks away. The silence of the night drives you up the wall and you pull out your phone. Is it the election? 

You: You awake?

You don’t expect an answer, you shouldn’t. But your face lights up at the sudden green bubble indicating that he’s online popping up immediately.

Hwa: No, I’m asleep ;p

You: Alright, well when you wake up remember that I’m cheering for you! <3

Hwa: shdufyyfipiueouriguu

You: ?

Hwa: Sorry my fongers were beingg dimb

Hwa: *Fingers

Hwa: *Being

Hwa: *Dumb

You: Lmao, go to sleep you nonce.

Hwa: Nonce? Meanie :(

You: I don’t trust people who use those weird keyboard emojis. Use your phone ones like a normal person lmao

Hwa: Hello, Childline? I would like to report a case of child abuse. This individual has called me a “nonce” and is now choosing to insult my emojis! Harry Potter and the Audacity of this Cutie 

Hwa: JHsudhsdyduyfisuyfuyfuyfuyufisu

You: Aww, thanks 😊 

Your heart accelerates. Of course, after you and Seonghwa started hanging out more, he was more flirty and bold but you’ve never seen him become flustered before. He’s called you a baby and addresses you very endearingly. But is this sleep deprived Seonghwa embarrassed? It’s adorably funny to you. 

Hwa: soodjjSOFFOJJFIJNFJJFI

Hwa: Damn it.

Hwa: I’m way too sleep deprived to play it cool

You: Should I send you an ASMR video? It helps me sleep sometimes

Hwa: Really? That would be great

Hwa: Excuse me, wait a second. Why are you awake?

You: Insomnia, ran out of pills.

Hwa: Poor thing :(

Hwa: Do you have a 24 hour pharmacy near you? I’m sure there’s one down the road and we don’t live far apart.

You: DKM STOP USING THOSE CURSED EMOJIS

You: And idk, it’s dangerous for me to walk at night. Even with my hockey stick lolol

Hwa: Where do you live? I’m coming

You: Seonghwa! No! It’s alright! I can stay awake

Hwa: Then I’ll stay awake with you <3

You: You don’t need to. 

Hwa: I would have forced you to sleep, but Joong has insomnia and I kinda get that it’s hard

Hwa: So if you can’t sleep, ping me~

You: “Ping me” lmao

You: Thank you though.

You: You do so much for me. You know that? Like, whenever I feel like shit, you’re there. 

You: Do you read my mind, Seonghwa?

Hwa: I’m glad I’m able to be here for you. At first I felt like I was had to so I could pay you back. But now it comes naturally. I don’t really click with people, but I can with you. 

Hwa: Don’t get me wrong, I’m only here because I want to be. I like taking care of you and I’m thankful you do the same. 

Hwa: Just seeing you makes me happy 

You: I feel the exact same way, Hwa.

You: You make everything so warm and happy. It’s your presence and I get along with you so well! 

You: I know you said it already, but please don’t feel indebted to take care of me, Seonghwa. I too, do it because I sincerely care about you. 

You: I love yo| 

Your fingers dash across the screen, but another sky blue text bubble makes your heart drop, the adrenaline building up in you blowing out in a sad puff. 

Hwa: I’m sorry, I’ll be right back. Getting a call.

“Seonghwa... I don’t want to do this anymore” The latter’s stomach and heart hurl up and down at the chocked voice, probably crying through the phone.

“Hongjoong? Talk to me” Seonghwa tries to keep his voice steady and attempts to clear his mind and analyse the rise and fall of his voice and the tone. He wants to see Hongjoong face to face. That’s the best way he can read people, with their expressions. But he knows that Hongjoong doesn’t dare show his face while he’s crying, a rarity.

“The... The election... It was my parents who made me do it. Seonghwa... Seonghwa I can’t do this anymore” Hongjoong sobs, his clear voice murky with sleep and sadness. Seonghwa feels his own eyes fill up but he swipes them away.

“Focus on Hongjoong” He hisses to himself mentally. 

“Hongjoong, your parents can’t dictate what you do or not. If you feel pressured and they don’t listen, you have to do something”

“I know! But what? Who’s going to help me? What if I get kicked out? My parents might still love me if I rebel, but I don’t want to take that gamble. Seonghwa... What do I do?” 

Seonghwa bites his nail. For once, Seonghwa doesn’t know what to do. It makes him feel helpless that someone is hurting, especially if that someone is a friend. Hongjoong isn’t the type of person to be very in touch with his emotions, and seeing his glass mask shatter breaks him apart too. 

“Hongjoong, you do what you think is right. And if you don’t know what is, then ask someone who knows. I’m sorry, Hongjoong, but I don’t know what to do. But you can always talk to me. I’ll always be here for you, Hongjoong” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. If they kick you out, I’ll find you a place to stay” 

Seonghwa hears Hongjoong crumpling down, “I don’t want to be abandoned” It feels like a spear through the chest hearing his torn voice. 

“I know, sweetheart. No one does. But if you feel like that’s what you have to do, you have to remember that there are people who will always accept you. I will, Yunho will, Y/n will, Wooyoung will. Forever” 

“But they’re my parents. They’re supposed to be here for me!”

“Joong...”

“Can’t I ever please them?”

“I’m sorry, Hongjoong, I don’t think I can answer that” Seonghwa whimpers quietly, trying to reply tactfully. 

“Seonghwa, I need to go. I hear footsteps-“

“Hongjoong!” Seonghwa groans as the jingle of the phone cut sound effect goes off. Blinking back his tears, he opens the chatroom you two share, now blurred lines of black and white and blue bubbles. 

Hwa: Sorry.

You: It’s okay.

Something feels off in the discreet way that he types. Seonghwa is quiet but he’s not a man of few words when opened up to. 

You: Are you okay?

Hwa: Yeah.

Hwa: Why?

You: Are you sure? Instinct.

Hwa: Lol that’s sharp

You: Do you want to talk about it?

Hwa: There’s nothing wrong, dove. I’m just tired.

You: Try get a glass of warm milk.

You: You can talk to me if you feel crappy, okay? Whenever you need it.

Hwa: Thank you, Y/n. But I think that I can only take you up on that offer when it’s my issue to talk about, I don’t think I can tell you this time. 

Hwa: We started giving Jihyo therapy, by the way. 

Hwa: So thank you, for everything you’ve done.

You: Alright, I understand. But if you need help with anything, you don’t have to tell me who it is, but maybe I can help.

Hwa: Thanks, but I’ll try to figure this one out on my own <3 

Hwa: Hey, I think I should try and sleep. 

Hwa: Goodnight, cutie

You: Goodnight, Hwa 

“Congratulations, Hongjoong! You won!!!” Yunho claps the smaller man on the back, who then flinches. Seonghwa looks concerned and pulls Hongjoong into his chest for a brief moment, quickly enough to allow a window of time to brush tears away.

“Thanks, guys!” He giggles, and a dazzling smile blinds everyone in the room. “I’ll do my best to impress all of you, so don’t abandon me!” He laughs at his little joke and so does everyone else. But Seonghwa is not laughing. 

“Tough luck, Hwa! It was so close!” You pat his shoulder, and he grins at you. 

“I’m free from burden, what’s this about?” He chuckles, his baritone voice a sweet melody. The sunlight is dim and the shades of the afternoon haze are bright and pastel blues. 

“Really?”  The smile on his lips seems forced, not reaching his eyes as per usual. Heat from the atmosphere scorches you and the rising tension in the room doesn’t cool it down either.

“Yeah”

You leave it at that. 

As you’re about to ask him if Jihyo needs babysitting, Hongjoong clasps onto the dark haired boy’s sleeve. “Can we talk?” You hear the short man’s voice and how it dangerously wobbles. 

“Sure” Seonghwa turns away and you don’t fail to notice the comforting hand around Hongjoong’s shoulder. 

“Hwa?” You’re surprised by two hands suddenly picking you up and lifting you to the air, an uncharacteristic squeal emerging from a pair of cherry red lips. “Are you okay?” You giggle, warm at the small laughs from the other. 

“Yeah! More than okay!” Seonghwa sighs and puts you down. “Sorry, I got too excited. It’s just that... I’m happy for a friend” Seonghwa would normally blush and lifting you up and perhaps even apologise for doing so but there’s something occupying his brain that makes him steer away from even you. 

“That’s great! I’m so proud of Hongjoong” You smile sweetly, the golden-orange hues of sunlight framing your face, Seonghwa looks a little taken aback. 

“You- you knew?” 

“I knew who it was, not what was going on” You correct him and Seonghwa looks admiringly at you.

“Are you psychic? You know everything about other people...” The gleaming stars in his eyes become more dim and melt into the sea of his eyes like cubes of sugar.

“Well... I’m observant?” 

Seonghwa nods. Like him, you’re in a world of your own but so alive and free in the real world too. It’s too beautiful too block out, so you walk along the fine line of the little flower filled bubble with Seonghwa and the world of the classrooms with the scent of vanilla and sunshine. 

“Hmm, Y/n...”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free this Saturday?” He hums, fiddling with a lock of black silky hair that keeps falling in his face.

“Yeah...” You reach up and pin back his hair with a pretty hairpin, decorated with a tiny plastic moonflower. The way Seonghwa’s cheeks become pink remind you of the purple hue of potassium permanganate bleeding into the water in the biology demonstration the teacher showed you.

With Seonghwa.

You realise you do a lot of things with Seonghwa.

You ate with him many many times (With Hongjoong and Yunho tagging along at times. You went to concert with Daehyun, Jihyo and him last month. The tickets decorate your wall, covered in doodles of little flowers. You helped him with his speeches for his election, often staying after school to fan him off and correct his grammar as his mental health spiralled downwards. 

It makes you feel all warm and butterflies gather, spreading their wings and flying about your body in a flurry of heartfelt affection. You look at him again, his eyes no longer tainted with dark circles and replaced with a rosy blush. 

You can’t beat around the bush anymore, or else it will grow into a forest. A forest where Seonghwa may no longer roam in.

“It’s going to be Saturday” You tell yourself as you thread baby blue ribbons into your hair, matching the light blue frock and pale yellowish white oversized cardigan. Blue butterflies adorn your ears as they hang down on silver earrings.

“It’s going to be today”

You’re surprised you haven’t passed away yet from the sheer beauty of Park Seonghwa. His blue silk blue blouse hangs down to reveal a little bit of his slightly bronze chest and you want to target the mole on it with a kiss attack. He gasps softly and pings your hanging earring. “We’re matching” 

The silk of his shirt and the blue of your dress are very similar in hue, and you make a sound of realisation. “Woah we are” Seonghwa chuckles and taps your nose. 

“On Saturdays, we wear blue” And he yelps as you gently smack him on the shoulder.

“Don’t clown Gretchen like that, she’s my baby” You nag him as you practically inhale the piece of cake no longer on your plate. You tried to by dainty at first but you thought of future dates and thought it would be alright if you loosened up before tightening them. 

Seonghwa chuckles shyly. “I really like this cafe, you know. It’s pretty” His eyes wander the cafe, scanning the blue walls and little artificial moonflowers in baskets. 

“Yeah! And the cake is amazing. Doesn’t Yunho work here?” You laugh. 

“Mhmm, he loves the aesthetic of it too. It’s partially why he wears so many of those clips” His lips suddenly part into an “o” shape. “Oh! I forgot to give you the clip!” Seonghwa pulls out the pretty moonflower hairpin, looking even smaller in his large hand. As you’re about to reach out for it he swipes it out of your reach, a little grin playing on his face. “Hold still, Y/n” And you feel his fingers swipe through your hair along with the metal of the clip. “You look better in it than I do. Daehyun bullied me about it all night” He pulls a face and you chuckle. 

As you two walk out of the cafe and into the park behind it, you see the hues of sunset bleeding into the horizon. You sift through your phone as you wait for Seonghwa to come back from the bathroom. 

“Boo!” 

“SWEET JESUS” You yelp and you’re about to smack him in the chest but you see the pink wrapping of the florist beside the cafe. He gently places them in your hands. White moonflowers pop out and the calming husky scent makes you sigh.

“Hehe, scared you” He ruffles your hair and you look into his eyes. You expect the mischievous glint in his eyes but they are replaced with a warm loving stare. The light of the sun flickers in his eyes and the breeze kisses your skin. 

“Hwa?”

“Y/n, hear me out” He goes a little pink, playing with a strand of his hair.

“I really like you. A lot. I mean, I love you. It’s- I don’t know why. It’s not because you’re just so beautiful and adorable- which you are! I’m not denying it! But you’re so... Thoughtful and sincere. And I was thinking that maybe you could be my girlfriend?” His voice is deeper but laced with awkward tension. You look at his face, growing redder at the second and you smile. 

“Me too”

“Pardon?!”

“I love you too” 

“R-really? You’re not just saying that-“ Seonghwa excitedly grasps your hands in his. 

“Yes, really. Hwa, I really respect how you’re so caring and kind. With Jihyo, Daehyun and Hongjoong. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met”

Seonghwa’s eyes shine, perhaps with happy tears or the light of shimmering sky.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yep” 

Seonghwa tries to lean in and pinches your cheeks, “Pucker up”

“I can’t stop smiling”

The dark haired boy doubles down with laughter before squishing your cheeks, “Better?”

“Better” You say, but it comes out muffled. 

His lips gently brush against yours, his hand doesn’t leave your face and you gently lace your fingers through his dark locks and he sighs into the kiss, leaning further into you and supporting your figure against the wall behind you. 

“You know why I gave you moonflowers?”

“Why?”

“The clip, it was really pretty” He taps it, re-adjusting it and planting a kiss on your forehead. “But moonflowers are my favourite too, so I thought they would look prettier with you holding them” He giggles a little bit at the cheesy words. “I love you”

“I love you too, Seonghwa” You capture his lips in another kiss. 

[melonkooky]

only seokjin... [kim seokjin]

requested

word count: 1885

genre: fluff, slight crack

author’s note: anon requested this with extra crack...but i think i failed you. this one shot is more cute and slightly funny, and only has a little crack. i tried tho... i still hope you like it!!! prompts used: 48. “oh, thank god you're awake.” and 98. “i didn’t know you could do that.”

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

“seokjin, i don’t think this is a good idea.”

“why not, y/n?”

you paused to flash a glare at your boyfriend. “uh, because you are literally standing on top of a teacher’s desk trying to set up a stupid, inappropriate prank.”

seokjin looked down at you and simply shrugged, his mouth turning into an upside down ‘u’ shape. he sent you an innocent, though slightly menacing smile, and this smile would naturally make you smile back and make butterflies fly in your stomach, but it didn’t. seokjin loved being the troublemaker at school. it was like he was obsessed with causing trouble and messing around with people. luckily, he didn’t do it often because then that would result in him getting in trouble. plus, everyone knew that it was just seokjin’s nature, so in the end, they always shared a good laugh.

but in particular today, mrs. do, who was going to be the victim of today’s prank, had used seokjin’s research paper as an example of “how to not write a paper”. while teachers were allowed to use student’s assignment as examples, they weren’t, however, allowed to reveal the identity of the student. this resulted in the entire class sharing a laugh with old-lady-mrs. do, while seokjin was being teased endlessly by jungkook. you did laugh a bit, but that was when you looked over and noticed the look in his eye. you thought at that exact moment, oh no.

so here you were during your lunch break, making sure your boyfriend didn’t do anything too stupid. you huffed in irritation. “why didn’t you just bring jungkook with you? or even jimin? they would be much more thrilled than i am.”

seokjin hands were on some string that he had tied to the ceiling. it was attached to something above the ceiling, as you noticed earlier he had the a peice of the ceiling removed in order to place something above. seokjin had explained to you that during her next class, mrs. do would tug on the string because it would dangle right in front of her face, but when she pulled hard enough to remove said string, confetti would tumble down all over her from the ceiling.

“because, jagi, they laughed as i was being humiliated in front of the class. they did nothing to save my pride.”

you scoffed. “i laughed too!”

seokjin grinned. “aha!” he paused to get off of the desk, hopping down and standing in front of you. “but, are they the love of my life?”

you blushed, but continued to show your angered expression. jin laughed as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. he peered up at the ceiling at his little project, a proud look as if it was a magnificent piece of art. “i’ll humiliate mrs. do.” he mumbled.

you rolled your eyes. “can we go now? i’m hungry.”

seokjin nodded and you turned to leave, leaving seokjin’s embrace. as you were walking towards the door, you heard a strange sound, as if someone was slipping on the floor, followed by a loud crash. you whipped your body around to find seokjin on the floor, a student desk near his head and out of line. your eyes widened, “seokjin!”

you hurried to your boyfriend as he laid on the floor. his limbs were spread out like he was making an angel in a pile of snow. you crouched onto the ground and cradled his head. his eyes were open, and he had a weird, goofy smile on his face. “oh, jagi.” he mumbled. the tone of his voice made it sound like seokjin was high on drugs. he continued to use his index finger to touch your nose. “boop.” he said before laughing.

you sighed. “we have to get you to the nurse.”

----

you watched as the nurse examined seokjin for any injuries. she noted that he had a large bump on the back of his head, probably from when he had fallen on the ground or hit the desk. she chuckled, “only seokjin.”

you smiled apologetically as you stood at the foot of the bed in which seokjin was resting on. the nurse packed a plastic bag full of ice and handed it to you. she smiled, “he’ll be just fine. he does as a slight concussion though.”

you smiled at the old lady. she was probably the nicest employee at this school. “thank you, mrs. kim.”

she nodded, cupping your hands as she smiled, and left the room, leaving you and seokjin alone. seokjin was knocked out, in a deep sleep. you sighed as you watched him. if he had been alright and survived his fall with no injuries, you would have laughed. but he was hurt, and now you were more worried. he must of tripped on the piece of paper by mrs. do’s desk. a student must have dropped it as they walked by.

you wanted to place the ice under his head, since it would reduce the swelling. you grabbed a chair nearby and quietly pulled it over to the side of seokjin’s bed, sitting down in it. you leaned closer to your injured boyfriend, and carefully you tried to lift up his head enough to slip the bag of ice underneath. but suddenly, seokjin groaned, suddenly showing signs of life. “ah!” he winced as his hand slipped under his head.

your eyes widened, “oh, thank god you’re awake!”

seokjin looked at you, a wide smile growing on his face. he sat up, causing you to reach forward to help him. “aw! was my baby worried about me?”

you felt your cheeks go red as you helped seokjin get comfortable. you didn’t reply. instead, you held up the bag of ice to the back of his head, and stared at the blanket. seokjin laughed. “hey, i’m alright.”

you sighed and looked at him. “sometimes you can be so careless.”

he shrugged. “i can’t really help it, love. it’s kinda who i am.”

“but you worry me so much. you cause all this trouble, all for a good laugh, but it’s like you, of all people, even namjoon might i add, are prone to causing accidents and hurting yourself.”

seokjin pouted and looked at you. he huffed as he sat up straighter and turned his body so that his legs now dangled off of the side of the nurse bed. his legs were spread apart with your between them as he looked into your eyes. “i’m sorry.” he said, and you could tell he meant it.

you couldn’t fight the smile on your face. you peered down to play with the bag of ice in your hands. your hands were beginning to ache from the cold. you probably should have wrapped the bag in a towel before handling it, but then again, mrs. kim gave it to you exactly how it is. seokjin smiled as he cupped your cheeks and made you look up at him. you blushed. “what are you doing?” you narrowed your eyes. “you should be resting kim seokjin.”

“how could i be when my love is sitting here so cutely, looking so small, her lips in a pout, looking so vulnerable.” before you could reply, seokjin was kissing your slightly pouting lips.

you blushed. when he pulled away, a proud, victorious smile on his goofy face, you couldn’t help but smile. “do you forgive me?” he asked.

you pouted once more. “i guess.”

seokjin chuckled before pecking your lips again.

you gasped. “seokjin…”

“if you keep pouting, i’m just going to keep kissing you.”

you rolled your eyes but smiled. only seokjin…

you looked at seokjin before holding up the bag of to him. “here. i’m going to go get lunch.”

seokjin scoffed, staring at you in disbelief with a limp bag of ice in his hands. “can’t i go with you?”

you shook your head. “nope, you have to rest. you are slightly concussed.”

you opened the door, before turning to look at your boyfriend. now he was the one pouting. you grinned and blew a kiss. “i’ll bring something for you.”

----

the next day

while messing around on your phone, checking your social media, you shoved a mouthful of rice into your mouth. you were slightly distracted, so you jumped when someone suddenly yelled ‘boo’ into your ear.

immediately you turned around to see who had scared you, and it was none other than your boyfriend, kim seokjin. slightly annoyed, you hit his stomach as he laughed. seokjin sat down next to you, setting his lunch tray down. “sorry, jagi.” he sang.

you shook your head and continued eating. it wasn’t long before the rest of seokjin’s friends, one by one, sat down at the table. they all began talking.

“oh!” jungkook gasped. “seokjin, you missed mrs. do yesterday.”

both you and seokjin looked up from your lunches. “what happened?” you asked.

“there was this string dangling in front of her face, right?” jungkook suddenly paused to laugh, before continuing. “we watched as she tried to pull the string out of the ceiling, but after a hard pull, part of the ceiling tile fell onto the ground and a whole bucket of confetti fell onto her and her desk.”

you gulped hard and looked away from jungkook. you used part of your hair to cover your face as you felt her cheeks go red. seokjin laughed sheepishly. “oh, really?”

jimin spoke next. “jungkook, you forgot the best part. mrs. do actually laughed. she laughed as she waited for the confetti to stop raining down on her.”

you looked up. “does she know who did it?”

“she claims she doesn’t know, but i think she did know.” namjoon replied.

you blinked and looked at seokjin. he cleared his throat, “i think we all knew who did it.”

taehyung grinned, “it was you, wasn’t it?”

seokjin nodded. “but, i wasn’t there to see it before i tripped in her classroom and hit my head on something.”

you shook your head as you relived the incident.

“are you okay?” jimin asked.

seokjin nodded. “i do have a slight concussion, but it’s not serious. my lovely girlfriend here, was there to help.”

you blushed slightly while smiling shyly. “wait, so did you help seokjin prank mrs. do?” jungkook asked.

you shrugged. “i didn’t want to. but he was mad at you guys too for laughing at him, so he claimed i was his only loyal accomplice.”

seokjin laughed. “i’m still mad.”

“man, y/n,” namjoon said, “i didn’t know you could do that.”

your eyebrows furrowed. “do what?”

jimin chuckled, “help seokjin cause trouble, of course.”

“oh my god!” you exclaimed. “i didn’t want to! i am not about that life.”

all the boys laughed as seokjin swung an arm around your shoulder. “ah, it’s okay, love. your secret is safe with us.”

you shook your head. “what secret? i was just there because you wanted me to be there. i didn’t actually help you, other than make sure you weren’t going to hurt yourself.” you defended.

“whatever you say, babe.”

you sighed and angrily shoved rice into your mouth, glaring at all of the boys at the table. “i hate you guys.”

“you’re so cute when you are angry.” seokjin commented.

“shut up.” you replied while blushing.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 183: The Rest of the Cultural Festival

Previously on BnHA: Class 1-A brought the fucking house down. The band played their hearts out and the act literally opened with a bang thanks to the resident human incendiary device on drums. The dancers did their thing, and Aoyama played the role of both fireworks and disco ball. Sero, Mineta, and Todoroki combined their quirks to create paths of ice over the audience’s heads. Momo then shot out a bunch of confetti, and Ochako dove into the crowd and floated a bunch of people to have a dance party in mid-air. Iida doing the robot was the highlight of the chapter and indeed the whole manga, but Jirou was a close second, with an adorable flashback to when she first told her parents she wanted to be a hero instead of a musician, and they were the most supportive EVER, and it was amazing. Even the surly upperclassmen were won over by class A’s general vibe of awesomeness, and everyone danced their hearts out, and Eri was THRILLED and her smile was brighter than the sun and Mirio cried and oh my gosh you guys. I just feel bad for the rest of the classes that have to follow this act now lmao.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-B puts on the most audacious fanfiction-turned-stage-play since Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. All Might informs Deku that he has 47 missed calls and next time would it kill him to PICK UP HIS GODDAMN CELL PHONE jesus christ. Hounddog rips Deku a new one and tells him to be more careful in the future and throws him 20 feet into the air and tells him to go have fun. Eri is so fucking cute that I almost burst into tears just from how cute she is. The surly upperclassmen apologize for their shit attitudes and vow to spread the word of how class 1-A is actually really fucking cool. Kendou, Kenranzaki, and Hadou battle it out for the Miss Con title and Hadou finally wins the title after three years. The kids enjoy the rest of the festival, and Deku gives Eri a homemade candy apple before bidding her farewell. Down at the station, a nice gorilla man sits with with the detailed Gentle and Aiba. Gentle explains that Aiba was never directly involved in any crimes and accepts responsibility for his misdeeds, thus taking his first steps towards rehabilitation.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 207 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

okeedoke, I’m back and ready to finish up this arc and enter the next one which has been much-hyped thus far!

but first, class 1-B’s copyright-infringing play!

I really didn’t think chapter 182 could be topped, but somehow 183 has managed to do it in a single page. I’m speechless

also, the fact that they’ve literally done the “I am your father scene” here kind of makes the Dad for One theory slightly less likely

-- OR DOES IT. maybe this is just meant to throw us off our guard! I won’t give up!!

and now everyone’s walking out afterwards and either critiquing it or talking about how awesome and funny it was

Kaminari is sad because class A didn’t get to see it because they were cleaning everything up from their program. awww

and meanwhile Deku is getting chewed out by his dad

“is he getting scolded?” YES

and he really has no excuse. he could have called, but he made a conscious decision not to. sure, it all worked out in the end, but he didn’t know that ahead of time! DEKU YOU’RE SO IRRESPONSIBLE

(ETA: apparently he forgot his phone. supposedly. I missed that line the first time around, but I have my suspicions as to whether or not that’s true though. phones these days are practically an extension of your body. I don’t care how much of a hurry you’re in, how do you just forget it?? you’d feel that it’s not in your pocket! I practically have a freaking anxiety attack if I so much as go downstairs to my building’s laundry room without my own phone. like holy shit what if I miss a text during the two and a half minutes it will take me to move my clothes from the washer to the dryer fffff.

anyway my point is that whether he forgot it or not, he’s still irresponsible. DEKU)

by the way is Shouto burning something in the background here? and Katsuki too. you guys were looking forward to this cleanup huh

so now Deku’s apologizing, and the sad thing is he probably is truly sorry. and yet you know that the very next time a situation like this comes along, he’s going to do the exact same thing

really, All Might just needs to not sign any more of those permission slips. he’s grounded. you’re grounded, Deku

and now Hounddog and Ecto are walking over

HAHAHAHA

gotta make sure all the kids are still terrified of you, huh

good lord this man has no concept of personal space

All Might is always lucking out, having other teachers nearby who are actually willing to be the bad cop. at least someone out here is laying down the law

anyway, Hounddog is of course 100% right and he’s the one Deku should really be apologizing to

hoLY SHIT

I need to do some rearranging of my favorite U.A. faculty list

truly, no one is safe

lmao Sero says he’s gonna call Deku “My First Errand” from now on omggggg. if y’all want to see some cute shit go google “hajimete no otsukai.” there’s a whole tv show about it. you can usually find a few subbed episodes on Dailymotion if nothing else (for instance here’s one). this is the show that makes you realize that four-year-old Katsuki and Izuku wandering in the woods with their friends really isn’t anything out of the ordinary. and it’s filled with adorable crybabies and also some really precocious kids who make me feel incompetent somehow despite being more than 30 years older than them

anyways HERE’S ERI

is someone videotaping this. please tell me someone’s videotaping this. these are precious childhood memories

also LOOK AT MIRIO COPYING HER HAND GESTURES I CAN’T. I’M GOING TO DIE. OF CUTENESS

my god I want to make it my icon so bad but it’s a giant spoiler so I can’t ;______; [reaches out longingly to the two of them]

waaaaaah anyways

Deku is wiping his eyes because OF COURSE he started crying but he doesn’t want her to see lol

and he says he’s glad she enjoyed it

[folds chin in hands] I’m just going to enjoy this for as long as possible. life is good. in this moment, everything is perfect

aaaaaand now Mineta is running over and screaming at Deku for not helping them clean up

I really want to be mad at him for ruining the moment and also just for being Mineta in general. but there’s nothing worse than someone who just sits around goofing off while everyone else is working hard, so I can begrudgingly relate. STOP HANGING OUT WITH THE CUTE KID AND HELP US. you can hang out with the cute kid later Deku

a bunch of kids are walking by (I guess on their way back from the play) and waving at class A and saying their program was awesome and they loved it

Kirishima is thrilled and he’s grinning and thanking them

well LOOK WHO IT IS

DO YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY

oh shit

lmao they made Kacchan’s day

YES THERE FUCKING WAS. THEY PURPOSELY GOT WITHIN KATSUKI’S HEARING RANGE TO TRASH HIM AND HIS CLASS ALL PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY FOR NO REASON. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID

it’s good that they apologized for it. although we may need to watch out now and make sure that it hasn’t gone to this one’s head lol

Kiri’s turning to Iida and asking if those were the stressed out people Aizawa was talking about

oh my god Iida why are you so cute

sometimes I forget how much I love Iida and then he makes this face and my heart belongs to him

now Iida is saying that some people didn’t get a chance to see their performance and thus might still be stressed and so they need to continue to do their best or whatever

but the random bystanders are saying that they understand class A’s feelings and what their intention was when planning all this, and now that spirit has been passed on to them

and so they’re going to pass those sentiments along to others! hooray. pay it forward

and also surely someone got the performance on video too?? I NEED THERE TO BE VIDEOS OF EVERYTHING OKAY

Mina is happily elbowing Jirou and saying she must be pleased

and now Iida is bowing at a full 90-degree angle and saying they are forever grateful. lol this guy

Bakugou says he’s not grateful, and it seems he wants to give whoever didn’t bother to come to their performance a piece of his mind. lol this kid

now Mineta is screaming at people again to help him finish up cleaning

and it turns out it’s because he doesn’t want to miss the Miss Con

and now we’re at Miss Con! I guess

YESSSS GO KENDOU

IT’S SO STUPID TO DO THAT IN A FUCKING BALLGOWN BUT GODDAMN SHE’S SO BADASS THOUGH

but now Lashes is riding in on a giant tank in the shape of her face

have to say this is one of the more surreal things that’s happened in this manga thus far

(ETA: nothing to see here guys. just normal beauty pageant stuff. martial arts and tanks)

AHHHHHHHH

IS ERI SITTING ON DEKU’S LAP I CAN’T OMG I’M DYING AGAIN. MY SOUL IS LEAVING MY BODY. I’M SO CONTENT. I FEEL AT PEACE

Monoma’s watching everything with a weird face, and meanwhile Kirishima is congratulating him and Tetsu on how their play went. and Tetsu’s congratulating him on the concert. nothin’ but good vibes here

here comes Hadou!

her classmates are rooting for her and Tamaki is folded over about to be consumed by nerves lol

deep breaths, Tamaki. deep breaths

I guess this is Tamaki thinking now? or the General Narrator? or possibly Hadou’s other friend?

well whoever it is, the thought bubbles are saying that Hadou lost last year because she tried to take on Kenranzaki in flashiness, which is where Kenranzaki shines. but Hadou has her own strengths

lol she’s floating around like Tinkerbell and everyone is mesmerized

gurllll you got this gurlll

now she’s landing and everyone’s applauding

and voting has been opened and results will be announced at the end of the day at 5 p.m.

LOOK AT CLASS A HAVING FUN

I CROPPED OUT MINETA SO WE CAN ENJOY THIS TO THE FULLEST

LOOK AT THIS MONTAGE OF GOOD TIMES!!!

I WANT TO SEE BAKUGOU COMPETE ON A FULL SCALE NINJA WARRIOR COURSE. HE’S HAVING A BLAST

WTF IS THIS RAT PRINCIPAL/TODOROKI HYBRID. I’M SO CONFUSED AND TERRIFIED

CREPESSSSSS

THEY GAVE ERI ONE! I HOPE SHE LOVED IT!! BUT REMEMBER, APPLES ARE HER FAVORITE!! CANDY APPLES, YOU PROMISED MIRIO

IS THAT SHINSOU IN THE HAUNTED MAZE?? LOL

IS THIS THE FIRST TIME WE’VE EVER SEEN MEI IN HER UNIFORM? SHE ACTUALLY DID CLEAN UP, HOW ABOUT THAT

IS THAT A CEMENTOSS JUICE BOX

I HAD TO POST THIS PANEL SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE LESBIANS!! AND JUICE BOX!!

HADOU WON THE COMPETITION YAYYYYYY

MEI GOT TO SLEEP YAYYYY

EVERYONE IS SO HAPPY!! TO THINK GENTLE ALMOST RUINED THIS. BUT ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

and now it’s the end of the day and Deku’s saying goodbye to Eri

awwww she looks glum again. it was such a fun day she probably doesn’t want it to end :(

Deku’s telling her to look up at him!

AHHHHHHHHHH

HE REMEMBEREDDDD

at least someone did. Mirio

YOU SHOULD HAVE LOOKED HARDER!

oh lol actually Deku says he realized they might not have any after he looked at the program, so he bought the ingredients when he went shopping earlier

ohhh so that’s what was up with that panel of him in the kitchen in the midst of all the festival happenings. I was wondering about that

LOOK AT DADZAWA

YOU DID ADOPT HER RIGHT. RIGHT. RIGHT???

(ETA: GOD BLESS YOU AIZAWA SHOUTA)

she’s eating the apple!

she loves it!! she says it’s sweeter than a regular apple. that’s cuz it’s LITERALLY DIPPED IN MELTED SUGAR, ERI

so she’s leaving and it’s a much happier farewell now! awwwww

and Deku’s turning back and reaching toward the gate

and then he’s stopping and shaking out his right hand

oh that’s right. it’s probably sore from earlier

and now we’re cutting back to the police station and the cops are interrogating La Brava

lollll

“NO” :|

she says she only wants to be useful to Gentle

well Gentle’s gonna be in prison for a while so you might want to think of some backup options kiddo

now a literal gorilla is interrogating Gentle and he says they’ll be able to tell if La Brava really was brainwashed

but even though the jig is up, Gentle’s still trying to protect her

well yeah. and also even if she wasn’t brainwashed by a quirk, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t actually brainwashed. she was in a vulnerable state of mind and he took advantage of that. even if there was mutual affection on both sides

now Kerchak here is looking at his records. “a high school drop-out, previously in the hero department, and now a producer of criminal videos, huh?”

Gentle says he remembered his dream and he just started running towards it

Kerchak says if that’s the case, it’s a good thing they stopped him today

awww. possible redemption on the horizon, perhaps? these cops are pretty nice huh

now Kerchak is asking if Gentle drinks tea

and Gentle’s asking for black tea, and Kerchak says they only have instant. aww. lol

and the text is all “even here, someone was saved”

and that’s the end!

what a wholesome fucking arc. oh my goodness

BONUS: here’s Hadou’s school friend, Yuuyu!

she’s Hadou’s best friend! I love her!

and she’s not wrong about her being the cutest thing in the galaxy tbh. also this line makes me think “best friend” ought to be crossed out and replaced with “girlfriend” if we’re being honest here

lol at the explanation for why dyed hair and piercings are allowed even though they wouldn’t be in a real life school as prestigious as U.A. listen. we got that. look at Midnight. look at Aizawa. clearly U.A. is not particularly hung up on dress codes. I’m just saying

[faeparrish]

answer 21 questions and tag 21 mutuals you would like to get to know better! (thank you @psychicadam for tagging me💘) 

nicknames: molly isn’t a long name so I don't really have any nicknames apart from moll

zodiac sign: sagittarius w/ moon & rising both in libra ♐♎

height: 5′3″ just call me BLUE SARGENT because I am SMALL

hogwarts house: in my heart of hearts I'm a hufflepuff, but I was so desperate to be a gryffindor when I read the books and now I'm too deep in gryffindor merch from birthdays and christmases to back out.

last thing i googled: 'silence of the girls cover artist’ - I recognised sarah young’s art on the cover of the book that I just bought so I was looking it up (you should check out her work - although make sure you type 'sarah young illustration'  bc I just now found out that she in fact shares her name with a porn star lmao😬)

favourite musicians: oh god, so many. jacob collier (aka the most infuriatingly talented musician alive, he's only like 24, he’s won 2 grammies, he got recognition from quincy jones and now they're friends ?? and he’s currently working on a 4 part album of about 40 songs; volume 1 was released around christmas and he’s planning to release the last one by the end of this year... anyway he’s unbelievable and I love him), julia jacklin, glass animals, billie marten, hozier, tom misch, joy crookes, ELIZA, vulfpeck, nick mulvey, hope tala, jade bird, rusty clanton (fun fact, I actually bumped into him after his support set for jade bird and he was SO lovely). also dodie has been a fave of mine since I was like 14 and she probably always will be tbh. girl is just the sun ☀️

song stuck in your head: moontime by hope tala (not complaining tho bc that song is a Gay Bop)

following: 413 (I had to go through recently and unfollow all the old jily/marauders blogs that haven't been active for years rip there are so many)

followers: 489 and ily ALL ♥️

do you get asks: sometimes! I get a few cute lil anons here and there

amount of sleep: I have insomniaaa, like my boy gansey so I only get like 4-6 hours a night. I just always get a sudden boost of chaotic creative energy in the evenings and my brain is like !!! make something !! write something !! draw something !! anything!! do it all !! maybe I should start building a miniature version of my town too lol 

lucky number: hmm my birthday is 13th dec (same day as ts) so I like to think that the number makes an exception from being unlucky for people who are born on the 13th

what you’re wearing: leggings, my fav shorts (they’re so cool, they're like a kind of mossy green tie-dye with some funky black patterns stamped onto them. 10/10 makes me feel like a forest elf) and a yellow crop top vest thing. also a couple of rings and some necklaces that I wear basically every day. also socks that have confetti patterns on them. party socks

dream job: anything creative!! writing, art, music, whatever tbh. in an ideal life I would love to be a musician because the idea of going on a tour with other musician friends just sounds like such a dream to me and I love making music stuff (I actually posted a cover on here if you wanna listen) ALSO lowkey want to open a cafe w/ my sister one day; have events in the evenings, homemade cakes, get our musical friends to do gigs? mayhaps a resident cat??? yes pls

dream trip: I applied for an exchange with my uni to study in norway next year, which would be amazing (and terrifying) if I got accepted !!

instrument: I played the violin (very very badly) for about 2 years, and the oboe (for about a year until my teacher moved away - turns out there aren't a whole lot of oboe teachers out there) and I had piano lessons when I was a kid for about 7 years, but i can't remember how to properly read the music now:( I can still play piano but I mostly just figure out how to play songs by listening to them a lot. I prefer playing guitar and ukulele though, they're the ones that I picked up myself so I feel a lot more committed to them 

languages: english is my only fluent language, bc our education system doesn’t bother to teach languages as well as other countries do (am I bitter about it? absolutely), but I can just about get by in french and spanish, and I've been slowly teaching myself norwegian on duolingo for about 5 months now (honestly bless that app)

favourite songs: again, so many. my current faves: mice by billie marten (her new ep is so crushingly gorgeous), guiltless by dodie (the music video?? the music video????), here comes the sun by jacob collier & dodie (god this cover is endlessly, endlessly beautiful?? the drum and guitar strums at 0.58 just GET👏ME👏GOING👏), she is the sum by poppy ajudha, in your hands by nick mulvey (has some BIG gangsey in trk vibes), moon river by jacob collier (this literally came out the other day and ohhohooo boy !! the harmonies that kick in at 5.19 give me mad goosebumps)

random fact: when I was 16 I had appendicitis and nearly died bc I thought the pains were just rlly bad cramps lmao (is this ?? #toomuch? 😬✨??) ANYWAY now i don't have an appendix BUT I do have three funky lil scars and a rlly big appreciation for the nhs (the uk is shit at most things but free healthcare is truly a godsend)

aesthetic: witchy, kinda feral lol, artsy, anything nature related, anything autumnal?? I love that dark academia, secret history kind of aesthetic but I can’t really pull it off bc my style is a bit too hectic - basically just think blue sargent but softer and probs more gay lmao 🤠👌

I'm tagging @lesbianparrish @adamparrishes & @motorcyclebabeparrish as well lol, also @parrishynch @lvslie @flourishandblotted @cloudpillows @justlarajean @heart-ablaze @tinylilemrys @acquaclara @cbliviate @iuliasabina @heyilan @ofstagsanddoes @nellyinneverland @wtf-jily (a lot of my mutuals aren’t active anymore so it’s hard to see if I've forgotten anyone, but if I have forgotten you I'm sorry !! ily!! you are also tagged 💕✨)

[fweeble]

Episode 3: Across the River and into the Trees

Hello, I’m Fwee, a mature and responsible adult who is absolutely not imitating a Labrador wagging its entire butt with its tail. Of course not. It’s rude of you to assume I am. Honestly. I’m just here, with my drinks and tissues and pillows, watching some Nanner Fish. A normal hoomun.

This is The Episode, if I’ve got my timing right!

A second in and already more beautiful scenery. Thank you, Mappa! The prison looks so much better in the morning. A screenshot from last episode for comparison:

Impressive.

Is anyone familiar with legalese because this sounds like a giant lie. Does anyone know????

Hirata Hiroaki is doing an amazing job. My heart. This is exactly the Max Lobo I heard in my head whenever I read Nanner Fish. Q vQ <3 

Max in a nutshell, guys. Never change, Max. Never change.

You survived ‘Nam, Max, you can survive prison. Or Iraq. Afghanistan? Nope, I was right. It’s Iraq in the anime timeline. You have swole army arms, Max! Swole!

Charlie absolutely not bringing up the fact that, unlike many in the prison (most likely), he’s army trained. 

Eiji: Master of the Oblivious Guilt Tripping. He’s a nine-dan. 

I absolutely believe that Max picked that book just as a token symbol of protest. Because Max is nothing if not a drama queen.

To be fair, Max, you have 15 years on the kid. Just roll with it.

Oh Max, no. Your happy puppy expression hurts me. This is Ash Lynx, Max. His words hurt.

I warned you. Q vQ

That’s Ash, Max. It’ll never grow on you, but you’ll get used to it. Or not. 

I’m sorry. I’m laughing so hard. Elite hoodlum. What’s even better is that every time they say “chinpira” I think of a low level yakuza with a popped collar, horrendously flashy shirts (think tiger button ups), and a blazer. Super imposing that onto Ash is hilarious and the best thing. 

Gorgeous. Gorgeous. *blows kisses at Mappa*

*hysterical laughter*

Live in hope, Max, live in hope. Your dreams are going to be your only salvation.

Ash’s face. *SNERK* 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaash. Maaaaaaaaaaaaax. Max, breathe.

0 to 9,000. Good job, Ash! I’m laughing at that carrot that overlaps with Ash’s leg: the colors are so close they blend, it loses its third dimension and looks an awful lot like confetti. Let’s pretend everyone is celebrating that Ash kicked this creep in the face.

Charlie owes you several lifetimes’ worth of big times, Max. You just don’t know it yet.

I’m left to believe that these guards are very incompetent. The true crime shows I watch has lead me to believe that guards are supposed to pat down inmates before they’re allowed back into their cells or solitary. That, or I’ve been lied to. 

Or: Ash is very good at squirreling away forks.

It’s probably a little of each column, huh.

PLOOOOOOOOT!!!

OKAY GUYS, A TINY BIT OF BACKGROUND SINCE I DON’T WANT TO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS. BE WARNED, SOME POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD: 

So, in the original manga, this was set right after the Vietnam War, during a period in which the US govt was doing some skeevy shit (not that it is absolutely squeaky clean now, but that’s another thing entirely) which included MK Ultra. If y’all want a quick and dirty low-down on MK Ultra, just check out Wiki. Anyways, this is significant because the govt’s drug of choice was LSD, it occurred around the same time period as the ‘Nam War, and their goal was, well...

If you were aware of these things while reading the manga, this was a huge clue as to what “Banana Fish” might actually be. This is one of the huge weaknesses in bringing the show into the present day, I think, since it loses some of this nuance. But that’s just me being nit-picky, I guess. 

BACK TO THE SHOW: You are most definitely correct, Dr. Meredith, without a doubt. 

Still the 5 billion dollar question, Ash. The question everyone wants answered.

*strangled noises* So beautiful. So much awful. Why this juxtaposition.

*screeches* BAD TOUCH DINO, BAD TOUCH DINO, BAD TOOOOUCH.

CSMDKFMWOIFJMDSLKF. LOOKIT THIS TINY BABY CHILD!! SAVE HIIIIIIM! SAVE HIM!!!!

SOMEONE LOP OFF DINO’S GROSS HAND. MCLKSDMFLSDF.

Skiiiiiippppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeer......

MY HEART. THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB IMPROVING ON THIS IN THE ANIME. The manga comparison:

I BELIEVE IN YOU, ASH.

BOOOOOOOO. THEY TONED DOWN ASH’S SASS!

THIS IS THE SASSY BOY I KNOW AND LOVE. I REMEMBER YOU, ASH! *blows kisses*

Or this was a decision the translator made for the manga. Either way, infinitely more fond of this interpretation. u vu <3

One: HNNNNNG, GORGEOUS. I LOVE ALL THE DETAIL ON THE STAIRWELL, DO PRISON STAIRWELLS ACTUALLY LOOK THIS LOVELY???

Two: CMKSLDMFLSFD. Fucking hell.

Even the books on their shelves are beautifully rendered. *totally missing the point*

Doc, please never treat a rape survivor like this. 8/

The way Ash asks for a capsule will never fail to make me giggle. He sounds like a spoiled child.

*sighs* I know this is the same background but I seriously love the textures for the room. Mappa really is outdoing themselves.

Resident asshole cook, Sanji, is channeling his captain, Luffy, in a New York prison and about to summarily get his ass stabbed by a pissed off blond child with no time for shenanigans: more at 12.

*wriggles in seat with excitement* *plays the maracas* WHO’S EXCITED.

Hmmmmm, new exposition to match the Iraq timeline, huh? Interesting.

Wait, is this the new reason why they head to LA?

Oooooor not???

Just new exposition for the new Iraq plot line???

Seriously, the art direction!!! *BLOWS SO MANY KISSES AT MAPPA*

Oh, my heart. My soft, squishy, little baby heart.

*clutches chest* Ash... *makes strangled dying manatee noises about all the reasons why Ash has so many trust issues*

ASH, PLEASE...

Just leave me to drown in this salty sea of tears. 

*helpless hysterical giggling* Ash sure is turning on the charm.

Well... to be fair... both are one year away from majority in their homelands, so... maybe, emotionally around the same place?

Ash’s love and loyalty for his boys. *clenches fist* I have feelings and they are strong.

Fuck Arthur with a spiked baseball bat. 8(

Oh, Max... so much of your life is wrapped up in guilt... 8( 8( 8(

Oh my fucking god, the music. *light porn disco music starts*

*cracking up*

SOMEONE SAVE ME I CAN’T BREATHE I AM LAUGHING SO HARD. THE MUSIC, THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT PASSES. ASH CASUALLY STROKING EIJI’S FACE AND HAIR. EIJI JUST GOING ?????? LIKE A DEER CAUGHT IN HEADLIGHTS. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. *wheezes*

EIJI, YOU’VE GOT THE REFLEXES OF A CAT TWO YEARS DEAD AND BURIED.

LITERAL TEARS. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. IBE, CHARLIE --YOUR FACES!!!

YoI babies, please don’t expect anything more than this if the anime sticks to the mango. Y’all won’t get more hanky panky than this.

THE SILENT CONVERSATION! O vO

THE FUCKING WINK AND STAR. I’M DYING. MAPPA PLEASE.

ARREST THEM AND CHARGE THEM FOR MY MURDER.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, IBE!

Eh, you may be right on that point.

I love Ibe. I love his face. Heeee.

The #1 thing I took away from Nanner Fish about prisons was that capsules are invaluable and that I should French kiss my besties as a way to pass messages. My messages would probably be screaming for help, but that’s just me. I wouldn’t last in prison.

Look at that reflection on the picture hung on the wall??? Hnnnnnnnnnnng. Mappa, please. You’re doing indecent things to my  heart.

*more strangled noises over Mappa’s gorgeous backgrounds*

Booooooo. Eiji, you’re going out in that?

#1 thing I will miss about original Nanner Fish mango is Eiji looking 80′s fabulous as he goes into Chinatown.

But mostly this:

ICONIC.

WOULDN’T IT BE MELTED BY THE TIME HE GOT BACK, IBE????

HOLY SHIT, MAPPA. YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL ME.

*high pitched noises* Lookit that. That’s gorgeous. Dino’s a leazebag but that’s... hnnnnng.

Wait, are you wearing the same clothing, Arthur?

(He is.)

It’s okay. Your voice is the only lovely thing about you. Keep talking.

Smooth as fine chocolate. u 3u

One: Fuck off, Arthur.

Two: *HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER* THE SOFT PORN DISCO MUSIC IS BACK. Not quite Hawaiian shirt, but A+++ for effort. 

*cries* You’re so pink, Eiji.

LOOKIT HIS PANTS. HIS CUTE BANANA LEAF PANTS. EIJI, PLEASE.

Fuck Arthur. Leave my Shorter alone.

Y’all aren’t gonna tell him to be careful about using Shorter’s name?

I AM SO RELIEVED THEY LEFT NADIA’S CHARACTER DESIGN ALONE. HI NADIAAAA.

CRYING. YOU ARE SO CUTE, MR. CHANG.

SERIOUSLY, THAT ATTENTION TO DETAIL. MUWAH. Also: suspicious person alert. Poor Eiji isn’t trained for counter-surveillance. Q vQ

I’D LIKE SOME FREE WONTON SOUP TOO, MR. CHANG. PLEASE.

Don’t forget Ibe’s sundae, Eiji!!

*blows kisses at Mappa*

*dying manatee noises* Maaaaaaaaaaaax. Q AQ

*blows even more kisses at Mappa* Muwah. Muwah. u 3u <3

All together with me: FUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOFF ARTHUUUUUUUR.

But boy am I in love with your voice. u vu <3

Episode 3 is over and I’m excited for episode 4! More of my boy Shorter~~ Yes, good. I’m excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s been a super long day, so I hope y’all have had a better day than me! <3

<<Episode 2                                  Masterlist                                             Episode 4>>

[exquisite-yoongi]

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOONGI

This post is hella long but there is everything you should know or watch about Min Yoongi. You’ll find facts, best of fancams, unforgettable quotes & legendary lyrics.

FACTS 

• real name is Min Yoongi

• born 9 March 1993

• from Daegu 

• Suga is short for Shooting Guard (his position in basket)

• alias Min Suga alias Grandpa alias Agust D alias Motionless Min alias Turtle alias Sugar alias DBoy alias Min Suga Genius Jjang Jjang man Bboong Bboong 

• loves music 

• absolute lyrical genius

• raps faster than the speed of light. hella control over his voice (X)

• is ranked 11 as the fastest rapper on Korea & on top three as fastest ‘idol’ rapper

• plays the piano (X & X)

• amazing on stage : completely in his element

• released a mixtape under the name Agust D 

• his mixtape saved hip-hop. Saved lives. Saved the world goddamn Yoongi

• he produced his entire mixtape just by himself. Worked very hard on it every time he could (between schedule, in planes, along working for other musics for BTS)

• this masterpiece was released for free

• there is no imitation, no meaningless lyrics, no misogyny and no racial slurs on it

• his mixtape talks about him and his struggles

• was the happiest person in the world when he met Kumamom. It was way too adorable for this world to handle (X)

• very socially aware, he wants to use his fame to shift people’s attention to global problems 

• which he did with the campaign Love Yourself in 2017 

• when he got sick and was rushed to the hospital, he couldn’t assist a concert. During his vacation time, he went to the stadium by himself and wrote about it in the fancafe. He sat in the seats of the stadium and forced himself to imagine the fans’ emotions on the day that was supposed to be the concert. He then wrote a long apology. 

• works from 12 am to 6 am on music. even after a full day of training or concert preparation or filming etc. That’s why he sleeps whenever he gets the chance

• when BTS had to pack for their backpacking trip through Europe, he was the one that remembered to pack medicine and first aid supplies. he cleaned up before living the hotel room, helped cooking and was in charge of their budget

• wrote, composed, produced some of BTS songs (like Tomorrow, Never Mind, Dead Leaves, Boyz with Fun, ~) 

• participate in the making of almost every Bts song

• looks gorgeous in every hair colour 

• twice said he would sue Bighit if his hair started falling out haha

• gummy smile (X)

• laughs in 10 different ways

• in the song ’Moving On’ he dedicated his section to his Mom, who was sick after she gave birth to him

• he danced around the studio in the early hours of the morning when ’Never Mind’ was approved to be the intro of HYYH pt.2

• really like a lamb skewers. wants to open a lamb skewers restaurant with Jungkook (X)

• his only goal is to make music that gives people emotions or comfort

• the root of his passion goes back to when he started making music at the age of 13

• his dream was to perform at Olympic Gymnastics Arena. at the end of the concert, he looked for his parents and brother in the crowd. when he saw them he smiled and got on the floor to do a deep bow (the kind where your forehead touches the ground) and cried for the first time at a concert (X & X)

• at fansigns, fan get to write them a question “What’s more important? Face or body?” Is asked a lot and Yoongi is the only one that writes a third option “Personality” and circles it and write that it’s the most important. he does this every time the question comes up

• when asked for the ideal weight in a girl he writes a ridiculous number

• when asked what age difference he would date he wrote 81 years haha

• tells everyone to eat well and take care of themselves 

• loves his fans more than anything

• extremely open-minded person 

• in a recent interview in the US, he always specified boyfriend or girlfriend when asked about dating

• when he and Namjoon were being disrespected by Bfree during an interview, he stayed calm and handled the situation very well.

• then proceeded to drag the HELL OUT OF HIM in Cypher pt.2

• the S in Suga stands for Savage

• sarcasm is his second name

• relatable af

• the time he and Hoseok (J-hope) reacted to a try not to laugh challenge of themselves and Yoongi laughed so hard he choked

• his existence is art

• the thing he does when his members are doing embarrassing stuff he just curls up and covers his face

• on his first birthday after he debuted he spent his own money to make gifts for the fans and hand-wrote over 300 notes (each one different…!)

• took pictures of Jungkook at his graduation like he was a proud parent

• the time when he and Hoseok lost a game and didn’t get dinner, Jimin brought them a crab from their table and Yoongi let Hoseok have it “seeing my dongsaeng eat makes me feel full”

• he silently takes care of bangtan

• says his members are his closest friends

• says Bighit is like a family

• when Hoseok was celebrating New Years alone in the dorms, Yoongi left his family and showed up with chicken just so Hoseok wouldn’t have to spend new years by himself

• that time during a fanmeeting a fan asked him “My Yoongi vitamin. I like you so much that I can’t live properly, tell me how to solve this?” and he responded “Just totally give up on this life and just only look at me.” (X)

• that one time Yoongi got really passionate about coffee and said he needed 309 people to help him “catch” coffee

• the time he sang his heart out with Hoseok for “I was able to eat well” and sounded terrible

• the time they had a high note challenge and Yoongi sang so high that no noise came out (X)

• so extra all the time

• that time he had to introduced himself and pulled confetti out of his pocket and threw it over himself (X)

• but also unamused all the time

• he’s a paradox

• the way he’s scared of fireworks going off (X)

• easily put in place by Jin, but also ignores all of his jokes

• really good dancer

• he just works hard

• that time a member woke him up by accident and Yoongi swore on camera (X)

• literally a deadass person at the awards show until Namjoon was up next to perform and Yoongi couldn’t stop being hyped and looking for him (X)

• that time Min Yoongi fell off a chair and told us on Twitter and RM made fun of him and suggested we now call him “MinClumsy” or “MinButt” 

• #MinButt (#민덩방아) was then trending on Twitter

• RM proceeded to publish a picture where Yoongi shows his butt and put 2 bandages on him (X)

• says he’s not always the best at expressing himself verbally, but wants everyone to know he is always thankful

• said in an interview his life style was “sleep eat work” 

• proud father of Shooky, his BT21 character 

IMPORTANT OR LEGENDARY FANCAMS

• Airplane pt.2, Lotte Family Concert (180622) -> I need holy water (1:44)

• First Love, Wings Tour Final (171208) -> couldn’t finish singing because of his emotions

• Spring Day, MMA (171202) -> absolute god

• Come Back Home, SEO TAIJI 25th Concert Anniversary (170924) -> this whole concert was dope tbh

• Fire, MMA (161119) -> infires man

• Blood Sweat & Tears, Mnet MCountdown Comeback Stage (161027) -> bless the wind

• Fire, (160907) -> happy, cute, cocky and sexy all at once

• Baepsae, in Beijing (160723) -> tired but still oh boy damn. 

• Tomorrow, in Beijing (160723) -> sweating Yoongi

• I like it pt. 2, (160614) -> smiles everytime he hears the fans screaming because of their dance then acts sexy on purpose

• Dope, KBS Open Concert (160315) -> this boy has no chill god dammit

• I Need U + Run, MBC (151231) -> Yoongi playing the piano

• I Need U, (151106) -> looks so good 

• Boyz With Fun, (151028) -> Suga having fun + smile smile smile + looks so fine 

• Cypher pt. 2 & 3, All Force One (150920) -> if you don’t know about this you’re missing on something big. 

LEGENDARY LYRICS 

• “A to the G to the U to the STD” - Agust D

• “My seat is business, yours is economy, forever behind me kissing my ass” - Agust D

• “Min Yoongi is already dead (I killed him)” - The Last

• “A word said like habit, oh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck, those words are all words I use to hide my weak self” - The Last

• “This world sprinkled with my creations, I’ve tasted sweetness and bitterness and even shit, from that time I tried to sleep on the floor of a bathroom, now it’s a memory to me” - The Last

• “Dream, rather than humble, at the end we’ll be prosperous” - So Far Away

• “A brown piano settled on one side” - First Love 

• “It’s not easy but I say to myself, If you think you’re going to crash, step on the pedal harder” - Never Mind

• “Bultaoreune” - Fire

• “Yes, look down on me like that. It’s my hobby to prove you wrong” - We On

• “If I’m the sun you’re the moon, because when I rise, you go down.” - Cypher pt. 2 : Triptych

• “I’m a starfish that eats and grows on your jealousy and envy, As you know, my voice will turn you on, Whether it’s a guy or girl, my tongue will make you come" - Cypher pt.3 

• “Mic mic bungee” - MIC Drop

• “I’m a D-boy yeah I’m a D-boy” - Ma City 

UNFORGETTABLE QUOTES

• “love yourself love myself peace” - MMA (171202)

• "Min Suga. Genius. Those two words should be enough"

•  “I want to reincarnated and be a rock in my next life”

• “I’m father Louis Williams Suga Adams the Third”

• “I’m good at doing ugly stuff”

• “I’d like to introduce you to my lover… this neckpillow”

• “I’ve always wanted to nap in a different country”

Inspired by x 

OTHER MEMBERS : Jin / Hoseok / Namjoon / Jimin / Taehyung / Jungkook 

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season fourteen, episode one: i have opinions on greek yogurt

So they had to go and start this season by salting the wound of Becca and Arby’s breakup, didn’t they?

Welcome back to Romance vs. Reality, I’m your lead and only blogger, Amanda. Kill me now, we’re here for the fourteenth go-around of La Bachelorette, a carousel made up of social media participants and erectile dysfunction specialists. Our princess this season is Becca Kufrin, a last name I struggle with for no specific reason other than I just feel like I’m emphasizing the wrong syllable. Coming after Rachel, The First Black Bachelorette and Resident Queen Regnant of this blog1, and her, well, disaster of a season, I’m terrified.

I’m going to do a full analysis of our Mantestants later on, but I’ll put it frankly: I am not excited. I am newly single, and man. Pickings are slim out there. It’s dangerous waters, y’all. And I live in a city of like, seven million people. I can understand now why people find the first person they can in high school and piss on their legs for forty years2. Becca, however, dodged a bullet in this case, because Arby remains and always will be human trash. Oscar the Grouch literally lives in a trash can and is looking to get rehomed because of the association, maybe somewhere not on Sesame Street.

Arby’s legacy has impacted Sesame Street. And Oscar the Grouch is notorious for loving trash. I mean... same? But I do not love Arby. Arby is the human embodiment of Garbage Island, the island that is floating in the Pacific Ocean, collecting all of our plastic bottles and general other garbage and polluting our waters. Honestly to call Arby garbage isn’t ruthless enough. It doesn’t get the point across. Even calling him Arby, a restaurant that probably doesn’t deserve such a harsh association, feels cruel.

Arby is rubbish.

I mean, I know a lot of things about myself, but:

And Arby is the Standard of Trash To Which I Now Hold All Men. I will be ranking the men this season on the Rubbish Arby Scale.

Note: I am not even a full minute into the episodea, and I have a lot of feelings.

We have to relive the torturous final moments of Becca and Rubbish Arby’s relationship again, because ABC is basically going to milk this moment for everything it’s worth. We see Becca walking through some snow, searching for her future or whatever metaphor the powers that be are going after this season. She thought she had found her future, but nope! That future is off getting married to the human embodiment of an unflavored Fage Yogurt3. Becca is ready to find love because her parents were in love until her dad’s untimely death and guess what? It’s her turn now.

My favorite part of every season is the girls who are like, “I can’t believe I’m The Bachelorette? All I had to do was unleash a ton of my personal trauma on national television and ABC will pay me to wear sequin dresses and shank dudes’ hearts now!” I do love that Arby is actually banned from Minnesota, though. I mean, I don’t think he’s running to go to Minnesota any time soon, but the fewer options Arby has to spread his rubbish sludge, the better. We see Becca go through her Bachelorette Photoshoot4 and show how she’s a Strong Woman in both demeanor and physical strength at a acrobatic silks class.

I’m tentative.

Becca arrives at The Bachelor Mansion, where our three past Bachelorettes, all engaged but none married, are waiting for her with mimosas. Honestly, I would like to hang out with these three girls. Rachel and I could just... you know, be black together and I would ask Joelle about home design and Kaitlyn and I could dance. Tag me in, Becca. TAG ME IN. Rachel tells Arby to go fuck himself and basically is a queen the entire time. They all rave about the experience and how great it was for all of them - take away the fantasy and really consider real life. Rachel and Joelle talk about the fact that the women have a better track record on The Bachelorette (true) because they approach the situation with more nuance than the men do. And that’s true. To me, the men of The Bachelor are looking for someone to project their dreams onto, and the women are approaching it with a real sense of opportunity.

Rachel proceeds to sage the entire mansion, Becca’s ring finger, her vagina, and they’re never going to get rid of the stench of toxic masculinity, Axe body spray, and desperation. That’ll be there forever. That's in the fibers of the couches.

Okay, let’s talk about Becca’s first night dress. I know people are divided on it, but I think it’s a banger, okay? I mean, I wish it wasn’t ivory, but the all overbeadwork and the art-deco style is gorgeous. I also love the neckline, because Becca has great shoulders. The pairing of that with those dramatic teardrop earrings was stunning. It sparkles in the light, it’s a dress meant to be on television, not caught in a still shot.

LET’S MEET THE MEAT, SHALL WE?

First up is Clay, who is 30, and is a pro football player. Great, because now I have to worry about you getting CTE and argue with you about standing for the national anthem? Oh, Clay played for Detroit, though. I can’t be mad at him. Also, CLAY IS A DREAMBOAT. We see him at dinner with his family and his cute grandma. Clay is there For Becca, for sure.

We met Garrett, who starts with a Chris Farley impression. In 2018. A Chris. Farley. Impression. Chris Farley’s corpse is turning over and over and over in his grave. Oh my god, of course Garrett is from Reno. Reno gives me such Second City vibes. Not like the improv group, but like, the city you go to when you don’t have anywhere else to go, like Cincinnati or Tallahassee. Garrett is active because of course, but he wants a companion to do outsidey things with.

Oh god, we meet Jordan, who is 26, and a professional model. I already am going to safely call him this season’s Robb(ie). Jordan is the kind of guy who’s hot in certain lights but then other times you’re like “man, give some chin to other people!” He has a lot of chin, and his meticuliously carved “scruff” isn’t helping matters much. Oh god. Jordan starts out talking about his Brand, a phrase I only say ironically. I am literally shaking with rage. Jordan’s an unironic Derek Zoolander. He considers having to be tan and using salt spray to be “taxing”. He’s excited for once to finally be focusing on someone else for a change, and all he wants to do is sit on a couch with a box of chocolates with Becca in sweatpants and watch a chick flick. Jordan claims a lot of models don’t do that.

Someone want to notify Jordan that a good number of male models are gay men who would definitely do that? Anyone?

Next up is Lincoln, who we’ve already met on After The Final Rose. Lincoln is from Nigeria and he’s #blessed to be in the United States. He’s ready to get married and ready to settle down. That’s all. Boring. Joe From Chicago owns a grocery store, and as soon as this comes out of his mouth I’m in love with him. My full on Type is Man from Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store. Joe’s ready to settle down and knows when he finds the right one, he’ll know.

Jean-Blanc comes on screen and I can hear my mom yelling “THIS IS YOUR HUSBAND AMANDA” from the six-hundred-something miles away that she is. Jean-Blanc collects “accoutrements”, and oh my god, my mom might be right. Jean-Blanc likes stuff. Watches, ties, cologne, all the extra shit no one really needs but it’s nice to have. I mean, I hate wearing perfume, but if a man can find a blend that works for him and isn’t overpowering? Great. Dope. Totally down. We see him opening Viktor & Rolf’s Spice Bomb, a Curve cologne??? And others from the Checkout Aisle From Marshalls and TJMaxx Collection. He’s going to “blow her nose away”, a phrase I’m shocked Jordan didn’t use because you knnnnnnoooow Jordan loves a little nose candy. Sorry, it’s true.

Colton is another football player so this season is full of men with experience getting concussions. Also, can we stop making men named Colton football players? Colton got injured in his last season, so he decided to give up football forever and now runs a charity to change the lives of cystic fibrosis sufferers. Okay, I can’t even talk shit. Damn charity.

Becca heads in the limo to meet Chris Harrison and the 29 other garbage men that will create the Advent Calendar of Regret that is The Bachelorette. Chris Harrison is on screen for the perfect amunt of time - like, thirty seconds, before our first limo full of mediocrity arrives. First out? Charitable Colton, who is firmly placed in the top two, officially. He wants to celebrate Becca being bachelorette and brought confetti poppers, which is actually not the worst initial interaction for these two people to have. It’s actually... cute?

God, help me.

We meet Grant, who both tells Becca he respects her for what she’s gone through but also wants her to forget all of it - way to help with THAT, Grrrrrant. Clay comes out and talks about football and makes a football pun and is cute and everything. Jean Blanc has a French name and teaches Becca some French, which is a mess. Of course, he has her translate “Let’s do the damn thing”, and god I hope it’s the last time we hear that this season, but that’s not true. Connor is a fitness coach and gets down on one knee in front of Becca. Don’t retrigger the girl.

Oh god, not even two mintes after I said I never wanted to hear “let’s do the damn thing”, here comes Connor with it all over again. God damn this show.

Another limo arrives and out comes Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery. He immediately forgets what he has to say as soon as he sees Becca and JOE I WILL TAKE YOU. John walks the wrong way into the house, and Leo arrives looking like he was trying to do a Miss Geist from Clueless costume and forgot to do his hair before leaving the house. It is not a good look, I literally slid to the ground and cackled when he came out5. He proceeds to take his hair down and swish it around like he’s fucking Fabio.

Jordan comes out of the limo and Becca says hi, and he doesn’t respond. Because that is the kind of person Jordan is. He’s the kind of man who wants to say hello first. Jordan wasn’t expecting Becca to be wearing ivory, which is just a weird thing to say. His shoes are loud as fuck, too. Jordan spent six hours on his outfit and is like, “I’m wearing a grey suit, it’s daring.”

No, Obama wearing a khaki suit is daring. Klein Epstein and & Parker Suits are daring. A heather grey suit with a blue tie is like putting a jalapeno in your guacamole. You’re not exactly living on the edge.

Nick arrives dressed like a racecar driver because only assholes wear outfits like that. Nick is... god, I can’t figure out if Nick is hot or not. I do appreciate Leo being ike, “yeah, reminding this girl of her ex? NOT A GOOD LOOK.”

So of course Mike, the other long-haired dude with a fucking man bun in god damn 2018, comes in with a cardboard cut-out of Becca’s ex. STOP TRIGGERING THIS WOMAN. That isn’t charming, that’s weird. I didn’t look up my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends until like, a solid year into our relationship. I mean, it wasn’t the same way on his end6 but I think if I were to lead this show I’d specifically ask them NOT to mention my ex, if possible. Like, at all.

Garrett arrives in a minivan, and it’s full of soccer balls and a baby bag and he’s just trying to set the correct tone. I literally sat grimacing the entire time he was on screen. I hate Garrett already.

My second favorite part of the season premiere is the men being like “wow, there’s a lot of dudes here”. What did y’all expect?

Blake arrives on an... ox? After already meeting Becca with a horse at After The Final Rose? Becca’s right in wondering where he’s getting all of these animals from. I feel bad for the poor intern that needs to take care of Blake’s animals. Lincoln, the other guy who met Becca at After the Final Rose, and he brought Becca cake. Lincoln and Blake are both feeling confident because they’ve already met her before. We see a bunch of other dudes we’ve met before - Darius, Chase, Banjoist Ryan. The 24 other guys are intimidated because clearly they have some sort of leg up in the competition because they’ve been with her for ten seconds four months ago. I’m sure Darva Conger would agree with them that this is a solid grounding to form bonds over. It ended so well for her.

They basically show all the black guys back to back and a bunch of other nonfactors meeting Becca.

And then there’s Kamil, who is wearing sneakers with his suit and his job is “social media participant” which is effectively like putting “Air Breather” as your job in 2018. He only walks halfway to Becca and makes her come the other half to meet him, and then moves back further and is like “yeah, what about 60/40?” And honestly, this is the best depiction of heterosexual dating in 2018 I’ve ever seen and Kamil is literally telling Becca Who He Is in their initial interaction. 60/40, my ass. Becca is unamused by this and tries to turn it around on him, and he won’t engage.

Ya donzo, Social Media Participant.

Jake shows up, and Becca knows who he is. He’s an acquaintance and she’s confused because... Oh, okay? That’s super weird. I totally get why that’s weird. Production comes in with morbid music as a hearse drives up. Trent pops out and says he literally died when he found out Becca was Bachelorette, and I cackled. I can’t help it. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed.

Jordan is here to show off his sartorial choices and doesn’t understand the other shlubs who showed up. I hate that I kind of agree with him? But then again, I intend my wedding attire to be Elevated Black Tie. I want the men to show up in basically butler’s uniforms and the women to look like Lady Gaga. Just put a little more effort in - Becca’s standing there in a backless beaded gown, the least you can do is put on a god damn tie.

Oh, of course someone comes in in a chicken suit. David is both a chicken and a venture capitalist, which is my least favorite thing. He has to wear that suit all night long. Jordan is #unamused, which is hilarious. I do appreciate the “bekaw/Becca” wordplay. Chris arrives with a fucking choir who sings about getting a rose, and I’m just... Okay. This would be teeeeewwwww much for me.

Okay, we’ve got twenty-eight men. And none of them are winners. Good LUCK, Becca. Becca makes her first toast, and immediately Connor is the first one to whisk her away. The guys are genuinely shocked but y’all, that’s how the game is PLAYED. He opens a bottle of champagne with a kitchen knife, and it’s impressive, but not a saber like is to be expected or standard. Color me unimpressed, Connor.7 Clay and Becca play with Clay, and I love that. I mean, who doesn’t love adults playing with play-doh? Clay is from a small town and talks about his values and how they grew from growing up where he did. He talks about how excited he was to meet her, and I smile. Clay is too good for this show.

ONE OF THE DUDES MADE THE APP FOR VENMO AND WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? DAMN, ABC.

Chris uses the fact that his grandparents got married after two months and have been together almost 60 years to get Becca to believe that Chris is all about this. Chris looks far too much like Perez Hilton for my liking and just for that, I hate him with a firey passion.8 Christon is a former Harlem Globetrotter and so he’s gonna show her how he can dunk a ball from her own hands. He DUNKED Becca, jumping OVER her head, and it...

It’s actually marvelous. Like, damn. I mean, he’s a Harlem Globetrotter. He better be able to dunk on command.

Blake and Becca are on the same page, which is shocking because Blake is basically dressed like Hugh Hefner. Chris Harrison comes in, drops off the First Impression Rose, and walks out to go put his pajamas back on. All the guys are immediately shooketh by it.

Lincoln brought Becca a bracelet from Nigeria, and we get a montage of the stunts these guys are pulling to impress Becca. David the Chicken Venture Capitalist leads Becca in the chicken dance and we’re supposed to be impressed by him becuase he’s literally in a chicken suit but he has a Serious Career.

We get to watch the Anxiety Set In for the men who haven’t had a chance to talk to Becca yet, especially Jordan. He pretends like it doesn’t bother him, he’s just playing it cool, but come on. Garrett shows Becca how to fish, and if a dude did this to me, I’d yawn. Garrett reminds Becca of home, of her dad, and she thinks he’d totally fit in with her family. Oh no.

Chris / Perez Hilton / Ben Stiller in Dodgeball has realized someone is There For the Wrong Reasons. Chase, who met Becca on After the Final Rose, is suspected by Chris. I’m suspicious of both of them simply because they’re both from Orlando, Florida unapologetically. Chris knows Chase’s ex-girlfriend and apparently she told Chris that he’s just there for publicity. They all think Chris needs to confront Chase. I can’t tell you who told him this because we’re still at the point of the season where all the men kind of look the same. I think it’s Christon and Blake, but I’m not sure.

The drama has already begun. I'm sad it's not someone getting black out drunk like it usually is.

Chris takes Chase aside to tell him what the deal is, and Chase of course denies all of this. I mean, what’s he going to do, stand there and admit do it? He confirms he’s there for the Right Reasons, and he’s there for Becca. My favorite is that he admits to have been watching this show for years with his mom, so of COURSE he’s NOT THERE FOR FAME. I don’t understand this thought process as a defense.

Chase immediately runs to Becca to tattle on Chris for being skeptical. Chase, who looks perpetually constipated, never found out what this girl told Chris, but he’s vehemently denying whatever it is and isn’t That Guy, whatever guy his ex he only dated for a month told Chris he was. Like damn, Chase. You musta done something. Becca doesn’t really know what to do with any of that information because Chase is leaving out the part where he’s the asshole.

Chase goes and grabs Chris (????) because they’re settling the drama right then and there. Chase denies ever dating this girl with any kind of seriousness and they’re both... gross. Becca clearly doesn’t know what to do because the story doesn’t add up. If it was two years ago and someone he only a dated a month, what’s the issue at hand? It’s so weird. Becca is as turned off as I am, and this mostly reminds her of someone she met earlier that she was turned off by initially.

She comes to get Jake, because his intentions are watery at best. They have the same group of friends back in Minnesota but have never interacted, and so it’s super weird that he showed up here trying to date her. Like, dude, you actually had a chance before to at least try to. Becca doesn’t think he showed her any interest in the previous times they’ve met, and Jake doesn’t remember meeting her more than one time. He remembers one time they met, but not... multiple times.

I scoffed so hard a little bit of phlegm came out. TMI, I know. But still.

Jake is excited to be there and get to know her, but Becca isn’t on board, and rightfully so. I’ve had people meet me multiple times and have zero recollection and I’m offended. Here comes Jake, having met Becca multiple times and admittingly having no recollection of doing so, coming onto this show to try to date her? Really? When in real life he never tried to in the first place? Most people aren’t as transparent as Jake is with their intentions, but it’s so clear that Jake thought he’d be able to parlay the fact that they knew each other before into a relationship.

But if we’ve met before and you didn’t show any interest then, how am I expected to take you seriously now that we’re on TV? Becca all but says as much but tells him she knows what it feels like to have someone question her relationship with them and she’s not going to do that again. Jake tries to be like “but what about meEEEEEEE and MY FEELINGS” and Becca shuts that shit right down because she is not here for his whataboutism. Neither of them did anything when they met before, and it’s not about who did what in this scenario. She’s holding the god damn key and him coming on this show in the first place was fucked up. She doesn’t want to waste his time and knows she doesn’t see a future with him. She’s sending him home ASAP.

He tells her that he’s not the same person she met at some mysterious Christmas Party and has had a “transformative year” - uh you’re telling this to the woman who got dumped on national television, your transformation is nothing compared to hers - and he’s a different person. He thinks if they met again, it would have a different result. I’m sure it would, Jake, but you lost your chance. Sorry. He says he respects how she feels and he’s going home.

Jake was one of the most attractive men there, but man, this was G R O S S.

Becca announces to the men that Jake is going home first, and they’re all terrified.

There is a grown ass man with an “expecto patronus” Harry Potter tattoo, and yeah, he’s got some nonsense “it’s different in Latin” translation, but I’m just happy the black guy doesn’t have a Death Eater tattoo8. Colton talks about his charity, and the First Impression Rose is still there.

But not for long, because here comes Becca to grab it and offer it to...

Garrett.

All the guys are visibly gutted. I don’t know why, the best thing about Garrett is his tie. I love a pink and blue tie. He gets the first kiss of the season, too. Garrett’s thrilled.

Back inside, Chris Harrison has changed back into his suit for about ten minutes to gather Becca before the first Rose Ceremony. At this point, I also see a guy who I haven’t seen thus far, and went “PHOARRRRRRRR” because he was so hot. WHO ARE YOU, ANONYMOUS HOTTIE? I love that Jordan’s like, “It wouldn’t be fair to Becca if I didn’t get a rose tonight.” I’m on my third season of saying this, but I love when the contestants think their feelings matter at all in this scenario.

The Rose Ceremony begins.

Lincoln, Blake, Rickey, Jean-Blanc, Christon, Clay, Wills, Connor, Jason, John, Ryan9, Alex, Nick, Trent, Colton, David The Chicken Venture Capitalist, Jordan, Leo, Mike, and Chris all accept roses.

That means Chris’s plan to get rid of Chase worked. Which it never does. On The Bachelorette, The Messenger usually gets shot.

Bye to Chase, Christian, Darius, Grant, Joe, and Kamil, all to face the cold light of day. Y’all stayed up all night for this.

BUT NOOOOOOOO, NOT GROCERY STORE JOE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ll keep you warm in those Chicago winters, Joe. Now that My (ex)-boyfriend Wells is dating someone far more famous than I am, I’m in the market. Call me.

This Season, on The Bachelorette: This season isn’t the most dramatic ever, according to Chris Harrison. This time, it’s an adventure. Lots of beach kissing! All the guys are like “Arby’s dumb for losing this girl.” Colton, Jean Blanc, and Nick all tell Becca they’re in love with her. And then - TEARS. LOTS OF THEM. Someone did to Becca what Arby did, and whoever it is, I AM COMING FOR YOUR EDGES. Lincoln is a liar and a manipulator? Jordan, who is clearly there to boost his modeling career, takes it very personally for people to attack his character on television. That… doesn’t help with people thinking you’re just there to boost your modeling career, Jordan. Colton, of course, is a virgin, and apparently this may or may not be a lie? Who lies about something like that? Becca’s pissed. She just wants honesty from these fuckboys, and girl, you better have stocked up in fuckboy repellent. All she wants is their honesty from here on out. And then someone’s getting taken off in an ambulance. But it’s all going to end in an engagement that has allegedly already been spoiled by TMZ/the Powers that Be at ABC trying to scoop Reality Steve, so that’s what we have to look forward to.

See you next week! It’s great to be back.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Becca is only a year older than I am, and this is really sending me spiraling. I know we’ve had girls younger than I am on this show, but I never really contextualized that until I saw 1990 next to Becca’s name. I am so OLD.

This season’s batch of men makes me never want to be The Second Black Bachelorette™. If these are the best options, I’ll barf.

I know she’ll be on Paradise because come on no brainer, but man - I am so happy The Bachelorette is not Tia. Oh man, am I happy it’s not Tia.

I know everyone talks about how amazing Joelle’s hair is, but Becca. Gorgeous hair.

How tall is Becca? She looks like she’s my height.

Jordan is going to be this season’s Chad. At least we’re going back to the Douchebag Villain and not the Racist Villain again.

I really loved that all the guys were like “if the guy in a chicken suit gets a rose over me, life means nothing.” Oh, to have never struggled a day in your life.

Jordan, are you really a fashion model if you’re from Crystal Ocean Spray, Florida?

All of these men look like 90s Teen Film Villains. Like, this is a cast of Andrew Keegans and Paul Walkers.

Elizabeth who? ↩︎

I mean, kind of? No, I don’t. I really don’t. Can someone explain this to me? I feel like that’s resigning yourself to a lifetime of mediocre sex because you haven’t experienced anything else. ↩︎

I went with Fage because Bobby Flay, the whitest man I can think of, was their brand representative for a moment. Why is Bobby Flay the whitest man I can think of? He has a show where he literally competes with people to prove he’s good. I don’t need that, I literally have MY LIFE. ↩︎

Things that are interesting to only me: after two years of having the lead on a white background in a red dress (Joelle and Rachel), they’re back to the metallic-colored sequin dress (Kaitlyn and Andi), but Becca’s on a grey background. Both Emily and Desiree had what honestly looks like satin prom dresses from JCPenney. This matters to literally no one else.  ↩︎

The least surprising thing about Leo is that he’s a stuntman. Of course he is. Stuntmen either look like him or look like... well, what I imagine Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store’s uncles probably look like. ↩︎

boundaries.

↩︎

Some other guy who is a real estate agent is like, “you never buy the first house,” which reminds us this show is doing really good things for gender progress in America. (/s) ↩︎

Seriously, has anyone with a Death Eater tattoo realized they’re just telling the entire world they’d be a proud racist wizard? ↩︎ ↩︎

RYAN IS MY SECRET MYSTERY HOTTIE, OMG. I forgive his banjo playing, it’s not like he’s in Mumford & Sons. ↩︎

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

[rosyredlipstick]

going soft and selling out (1/1)

a/n: god i love steven universe. 

Vidalia is in the guest bathroom at the Fish Stew Pizzeria when she finds out she is pregnant. It’s a Thursday. She’s nineteen, wearing her favorite shirt, and ignoring her mother’s calls.

She is only nineteen.

Vidalia is in the guest bathroom at the Fish Stew Pizzeria when she finds out she is pregnant. It’s a Thursday. She’s nineteen, wearing her favorite shirt, and ignoring her mother’s calls.

She is only nineteen.

When she was in elementary school, their shitty school library received a donation of used books from the local bookstore going out of business.

In it, was a book of names. Her classmates and she had poured over the book for hours, each looking up their own names, their parents names, their siblings names, and every name they could think of.

Vidalia’s name was Latin, apparently, and it was deprived from the word for life.

Her mother frowned when she had told her, instead questioning why Vidalia hadn’t been studying during library time, but her father had only laughed, throwing his head back, and told her that that made sense. You see, he explained in that secret way he did, where he lowered his voice, bended his back, and acted like he was telling her the most important thing in the world. You see, when your mom was pregnant with you, you never stopped moving. Always jumping and kicking and running. He smiled at her, ruffling her hair, you’ve always had a lot of life in you, doll.

That was before Joe Miller had one too many midnight beers and took his rusted Chevy out for a too fast joy ride. Before the funeral, and the move from the only place she’d ever called home.

Before she was left alone with her mother.

It was names that was running through her head, as she stared down at the double lines on the white stick. She was folded down on the dirty tile of the bathroom, but she couldn’t find it herself to mind. She just been staring at the white stick, already knowing, for the past two minutes. She hadn’t even wash her hands yet.

She gives herself ten minutes. Ten minutes to stare at the wall, not cry into her hands, to sit on that dirty ass floor. And then she stands.

She stands, washes her hands, wraps the test in toilet paper and throws it away, and returns to her table at the Pizzeria. Her paper drug store bag is still there, with the receipt a wrinkled mess half hanging out.

She takes a breath, pulls the free ice water closer to herself, and tries to find the cheapest thing on the menu to calm her turning stomach.

Breadsticks, without sauce, it turns out. And when she glances up, Nanefua is standing there, quietly looking down at her. Vidalia has no idea how long she’s been standing her.

Nanefua continued to stand at her table, a slice of pizza on the tray balanced in her capable hands. She observed Vidalia for a long moment.

“I didn’t order…” Vidalia trailed off. She cleared her throat, “I didn’t order anything.”

Nanefua placed the paper plate in front of her, giving her a considering look. Vidalia had to swallow against the bile in her throat. Pizza - good pepperoni pizza, her favorite food pizza - had never disgusted her more. She swallowed her gag.

“Your mother know?”

Vidalia froze, her hands clenching at the plastic covered table. The other woman was considering, neutral, her head only slightly cocked.

Vidalia didn’t try to play dumb. She began ripping up the paper napkins into a confetti mess, her hands needing something to do. “Not yet.”

Nanefua nodded like she was expecting this answer. “Tell her. A mother will always figure it out.”

Vidalia bit her tongue. It wouldn’t do good for her sarcasm to make another enemy of her in this town, especially not of the Pizza family. She said nothing and, after a long moment, Nanefua dipped back behind the counter.

Nanefua shuffled around the back area for another few moments before emerging yet again, holding out a fat, large pink bottle.

“Afia is having twins,” she explained, like she and the entirety of Beach City hadn’t already heard when Kofi broke out into tears, celebrating with a two-for-one pizza slice special. Afia, Vidalia had noticed, had just been entirely too still and quiet that night, as half the town crowded into the restaurant for cheap food and loud toasts. Nanefua shook the bottle impatiently, bringing her back to attention.

Vidalia blinked down at the brightly colored bottle, “Won’t she…” Vidalia trailed off, her eyes looking up to the other woman. “Won’t she need them?”

Nanefua only shrugged. “I am getting older. I misplace things. Kofi can pick up more.” She pushed the bottle into Vidalia’s hands, standing to her full height, which wasn’t much. “You come by, you hear? Always pizza for you.” She gave Vidalia a stern look, even as her hands went white knuckled around the bottle.

Vidalia could only nod in face of that look, the prenatal vitamins - the nice ones, the ones they kept lined up behind a locked glass case in the drug store on the bad part of town - were now pressing marks into her soft palms.

Two weeks later, after rushing out of dinner when her mother’s sauerkraut made her gag into her bowl, she finally tells her mother. She tells her about Marty, his job, those hours spent with him two and a half months ago. She cries, and sobs, and eventually does throw up into the kitchen sink.

Her mom kicks her out with a dag of a cigarette and twenty minutes to pack her things.

She leaves her paint supplies. It all wouldn’t fit in her only backpack leftover from her ten minutes at the local high school, and it seems she won’t have much time for art come a few months.

But she packs some clothes, her favorite wrinkled blanket, a hairbrush and whatever else will fit in the side pockets. She steals her mother’s rolled up bundle of dollar bills, the one she’s always kept in the bottle right drawer of her jewelry box, and high tails out of there before she realizes.

She walks for nearly twenty minutes until she realizes she has absolutely no where to go.

No family. Not much money. No friends.

She cut herself off short as she came into the beach parking lot, not even realizing that’s where she was heading. Music, loud but good music, was drifting out. Greg Universe’s van was parked there, not even attempting to stay within the yellow lines.

She swallowed and clenched at her bag.

Universe himself was half out of the open back doors of his van, his legs draped out as he leaned back and sang along to some stupid song.

He was cute, in a sweet way. Not her type at all. She took a few steps forward.

“Vidalia!” Universe was always a bit too perky for her tastes. Not Rock Star style at all. “It’s good to see you! What can I do for ya?”

“‘Sup Universe,” She stared at the expand of sand just beyond his shoulder, her voice bored. “Mind if I crash here for a bit?”

“In the van?” He jumped up, boyishly excited. “Sure, Vid! Oh, you gotta see my sweet setup, I’ve figured out how to hook up a TV and VHS player in here.” He puffed out his chest in pride, “And I’ve got the latest season of Baby Butler.”

She tried not to visibly wrinkle in relief. But she lingered by the open back door for another moment, shifting her weight. “Will your space goddess care?”

She didn’t really care in regards to their relationship, mostly just to know if she had to keep on an eye on her own back. A warning was rare, but nice.

“Rose?” He seemed to beam and laugh with just the pronunciation of her name, “Oh, definitely not. She’s not like that.”

That was probably a lie. Or maybe that’s what he actually thought. But Vidalia had never met someone who wasn’t just a little bit ‘like that’. Not even his dream girl from the cosmos could be above jealousy.

But she only nodded, a single crisp dipping of her chin, before throwing her bag down. It was kind of a sweet set up for a van. “You still got that Quentin Tarantino box set?”

He wrinkled his nose, but reached for his stack of tapes, “God, do you have to like violence so much?”

She crawled in the back, settling on the small twin, and kept her gaze forwards, towards the small television, as he set it up.

She had gotten pregnant in this backseat. Marty hadn’t wanted to spare the bills for a hour rent at the nearby motel, and she had been too horny and dumb to really care. Universe had been crowing away at his microphone while they’d done it, singing to no one on the beach.

She was dumb for believing he’d ‘handle it’ like he promised as he slid his hand down her pants, too stupid to listen out for the tear of foil and the handling of rubber.

He finally got the movie going, already going on about hidden easter eggs, and she let her mind drift into his mindless rambling like being wrapped up in a soft blanket.

Greg had never turned her away from that shitty van, not once. He’d let her sleep on the single thin mattress and patted her back when she threw up on the curb, went and got her french fries when her feet were too swollen to stuff into her sneakers. He’d always grin just slightly, wave her off, and say always for you, Vid.

Months later, when the things to her name aren’t just a backpack and empty bank account, when it’s better and she has a heater she can turn on whenever she wants, and food in her fridge, she very quietly asks Greg if he wants a place to crash.

And, in typical Greg fashion, he only responds in a slightly confused voice, “I’ve already got a place, Vid.”

He never saw it - what he did for her - as a big deal, not really, but Vidalia could never see it as anything but. That’s why when he knocks on her door, that sheepish smile in place, she never turn him away, even if he teases on her going soft. She bitches about him eating her favorite cereal, or leaving the toilet up, or putting the milk back empty, but she always lets him in. She washes his shirt, lets him take too much time in the shower while using up the good soap, and buys those gross chips of his at the gas station.

She doesn’t know how to say thank you, not really, but maybe she could do this.

Marty was right; Greg wasn’t cut out to be a super star. He was too kind for that.

He was the third person she told, and also the only one to grin when she did so.

“I’m pregnant,” she mostly explained as she gagged around the greasy burgers he had brought back from the boardwalk. He was still riding on Marty’s last your check and had insisted. “Four months.”

“Oh,” he blinked once, twice, before grinning widely. “Wow, Vid! A baby! Congrats!”

He was also the only person to congratulate her.

“It’s Marty’s,” she’d tell him a bit blankly later that night, a bottle of orange juice split between them. Greg was taking his with a shot, giggling happily under his breath, and Vidalia was more amused by it then she would have thought.

There was a beat of silence after that and, for once, Greg didn’t automatically grin or laugh or beam with positivity. “Oh,” he grimaced, “that’s...too bad.”

“Yeah,” she gave him a nonchalant shrug. She had a reputation to uphold, after all. “Too bad.”

There was a long stretch of silence, Greg taking another shot, and Vidalia kept her gaze trained out the rolled down window, the waves splashing against the sand.

“I can…” Greg trailed off, sitting up a bit to ruffle through his things. After a moment of plastic CD cases clashing together, paper trash thrown around, he turned back to her. “I have his business card with, um, his number. If you want.”

Vidalia stared down at the small white rectangle. It was plain, just a star logo and information neatly printed across. She swallowed, her voice going soft. “Yeah, okay.”

She’d already called three times, using all the quarters piled up in Greg’s cup holder, and he hadn’t answered once.

The line was still in use, the first time she’d called the voicemail box was full and the next, it was ready for her message. Someone was checking it, clearing out the messages, ignoring or missing her.

She left a simple, short message that could honestly only mean one thing when a quick hookup from months ago calls. It’s Vidalia from Beach City. It’s important.

She was leaving the third call - straight to voicemail this time, not even ringing for a second - when she paused. Listened. Went home.

Afia Pizza gave birth to twin girls last month, or so the old gossiping women on the boardwalk had said. And last week, she’d gotten on the lone bus to Empire City with only a backpack and purse and no one had see. The babies were wrinkled, red, screaming their little heads off, and attached to the hip from day one. Afia, it seemed, shared no such attachment.

Vidalia was five months into her pregnancy and spent most of her time in Greg’s van working her way through his VHS tape collection, but that didn’t stop her from donning her sandals, her flip-flops being the only shoes that would fit her balloon feet nowadays, and making her away across town after only a few hours of contemplation.

The Pizzeria was dark, and the front door locked, but that had never been much of a problem with Vidalia and her bobby pins. The Pizza family lived above the shop after all, everyone knew that.

It only took barely a minute bend over the small lock - honestly, they should probably invest in better security - before the metal was popping open, the bell above the door ringing. She glanced around - still empty, dark, and deserted. She had gotten a bit more familiar with the place since that Thursday all those months ago. Nanefua was always glad to serve her a slice, pushing more of those vitamins into her hands as Videlia swelled up. The staircase to the apartment above was just beyond the backroom, near the guest bathroom.

There was sound coming from the staircase, a voice, and she headed up that way, only cursing stairs a bit along the way. She had never been up here before.

A small living room, with a hallway that broke off to the side. An even smaller kitchen, and a room that was either a closet or the most pathetic attempt at another bedroom.

Kofi was there, babies held to his chest, looking at her. There was no question or confusion, no anger or concern in his gaze. A blank gaze, as he stared at her.  

“Where’s Nanefua?” She hadn’t been expecting him to be alone. She had honestly been expecting to show up, and almost immediately start being ordered around by the older woman.

Kofi only stared at her blankly for a long moment before swallowing. “She went to the store. During the pregnancy, Afia said she didn’t want to use formula so we didn’t stock up on any, but now…” His stare was still unnervingly blank, “We don’t have anything to give to the girls.”

His eyes were red, his cheeks the same. When he spoke, it was with a scratchy voice. He blinked at her a few times, as if acknowledging, remembering, she was there. He cleared his throat and shook his head. “The shop is not open today.”

“Clearly,” she could barely resist the urge to roll her eyes, only holding out her hands. Nanefua wasn’t here, so it looked like she had to go off book for this. “Hand ‘em over, Pizza.”

He stared empty at her, only coming back to Earth when the baby in his right arm begin fussing. He turned to her, bouncing his arm, and making soft, pleading noises.

He had baby vomit down the back of his shirt, along with probably a thousand different stains. He had, obviously, been crying. He and the babies had been sharing in activities, then.

She threw her shoulders back, ignoring the tightening of fabric as she did so - it wasn’t like she could afford any good clothes from the maternity shop the next town over, alright? - and stepped forward, taking the babies without much hesitation.

They cooed and fussed for a quick moment after being jostled, making her hold her breath in anticipated. But, after shifting closer to her warmth and softness, they quieted down, their soft flower petal eyes staying close.

Kofi was staring at her a bit more clearly now, like he was waking up. She gave him an unimpressed look.

“Go,” she tilted her chin towards the stairs. “Catch some Zs. Your mom’s been slipping me more than enough free pizza to hold you over for like, two months worth of babysitting.”

It should be noted how out of it Kofi must have been to only numbly accept the help, completely ignoring everything else as he stumbled up the stairs, not even bothering to strip his baby vomit shirt.

She wasn’t much help on her feet these days, but she could do this - rock a baby or two, try not to wince at their screams, avoid imaging herself in Kofi’s exact position four months from now.

Kiki and Jenny, with their matching yellow rabbit onesies, stared up at her with wide baby brown eyes. Kiki had a dark birthmark across her shoulder and, with them so young, this is the only way to set them apart. That was kind of cute. She vaguely wondered if they’d always stay so the same.

The shop would open back up three days later, exactly a week after Afia had packed up her toothbrush and a change of clothes and used the tip money jar to buy herself a single bus ticket.

Vidalia, true to her word, would spent most of the months leading up to her sixteen hour labor in the Pizzeria backroom, two drooling girls on her lap, or in the occasional waitress apron when Nanefua was looking a bit too worn.

The Pizzeria. The beach. That fucking van.

Vidalia still gets free pizza from the shop, and hangs out in the back while she does so, even if it makes that vein in Kofi’s forehead poke out when she puts her boots on the counter. Years later, he tells her that she’s where Jenny inherited too much of her personality from, and the Vidalia doesn’t even attempt to not look pleased by that.

After a month and a half calling that number, and just as Greg was beginning to complain about the lack of change in his cup holder that prevented him from mastering the drop claw at Fun Land, Marty finally answered.

He actually let her explain it all without interrupting, which honestly surprised her the most about the whole ordeal. After their brief few day fling all those months ago, the only thing she could probably say certain about the other man was that he loved to listen to himself talk. Even during the sex, he was blabbering away about himself and her and their bodies together.

But he listened, he waited, and then he hung up without another word.

She walked back to Greg’s van, grateful he was off with his magic girlfriend so she could get a few pregnancy tears in peace without him fretting around in concern.

But it was only a week later, she and Greg still curled up in sleep despite the noon hour, when there was a quick, crisp knock on the van door, and they were sleepingly blinking at each other in question.

She doesn’t know how the guy found her, if he had to ask around or if he was just planning on dropping the manilla envelope off with Greg - Marty’s only contact within the city - and hoping for the best. But he only handed off the bundle, not bothering to answer any of their questions, before speeding back away on his motorcycle.

Greg peered over her shoulder for a quick moment before deciding they needed some breakfast, probably just to give her some alone time to look through it all, and hopped out the van, shirtless from sleep and only in a pair of ratty gym shorts. He was good like that.

It was a check. A large check, with a pretty colored note explaining that this was a one time thing, no repeats so don’t try, all you have to do is sign this paperwork and you can have it.

Paperwork that directly released him from any further parental duties.

But, the note promised her, if she didn’t, if Vidalia went after him or his money or his fame, she’d be in court for the rest of her pregnancy, and weren’t those legal fees just the worse? So expensive, especially if the other party decided to drag it out.

She is six months pregnant and given a choice.

A choice that she doesn’t have to think much of.

She would take the check. It wasn’t enough for forever, not from a guy like Marty, but it was enough for her to grab her shit and put down a first payment for a tiny two bedroom on an okay street, with a bit of yard and neighbors who didn’t automatically wrinkle their noses at her.

Vidalia was smart with money. From a town like hers, you had to be. She bought generic, stayed home most nights, and saved everything she could. It wasn’t enough for forever, but it was enough for now. It was enough to get a roof over her head, to grab a fuck ton of diapers, to load up her cart with those tiny glass jars of the good stuff - the stuff that made babies brains grow or whatever - and it was just enough for more of those pink bottled vitamins. She would have to get a job soon after the kid was born, but not right after. She could save enough for those few months at the beginning for when a babysitter from across the street would couldn’t cut it, and she could do it. Taking the money, the leave-me-alone-forever check, wasn’t much of a thought. Her pride was worth nothing in the long run. Her pride couldn’t feed her kid or mortgage a house or pay bills. This, the line of numbers that read back to her from her bank statement, this could. She could do this for her kid. Her son, because she knew it was a boy, she knew it in her stone cold heart that was just beginning to flare up every now and again when he kicked.

Marty would be back to chasing shorter skirts in no time, if he ever really stopped. He’d be hopping towns like they hopped themselves up on those good drugs he bought from the city. Maybe he’d get rich. Maybe he would actually discover the next big star like he told her, maybe this and that and whatever next girl he was swinging his arm around and smearing her lipstick.

And he could have all that.

Vidalia, as she smoothed her hands over her barely round stomach, only wanted this. Him. The best she could give him.  

“I’m just saying Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks have like, the best onscreen chemistry in all of showbusiness right now.”

Vidalia only rolled her eyes, “You’re just saying that because you’re a sucker for rom-coms, Universe. If we’re talking about actual talent, sure, Tom Hanks could make the list - I mean, did you see Saving Private Ryan? Shit, - but your romance for Meg Ryan doesn’t automatically put her -” She paused, shifting in place.

Greg gave her a concerned look, “You good?”

She took a breath, nodding. “Yeah, it’s just still weird as fuck when he kicks.”

Greg grinned at that, like he did at every mention of the baby. “Can I -?”

She was already nodding. At least he asked - she nearly right hooked a random tourist when they began fawning over her, their hands automatically going to touch her.  

“He’s a chill little fella,” Greg was smiling, his hand over her swollen stomach. “Hardly kicks at all.”

“My dad said I was crazy, in the womb.” Vidalia didn’t know why she was telling him this. “Never stopped moving.”

“Well, yeah.” Greg only gave her a fond look, leaning back to reach for his guitar. He absentmindedly begin strumming at it, a mostly unannoying habit of his.

Vidalia crossed her arms. Her back was against the other side of the van, leaving them across from each other. This was one of her last nights here, before she could move into that normal house on Seashell Dr. She was feeling more nostalgic then she could ever let on - Greg would never let her live it down. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean,” Greg gestured uselessly, “You’re Vidalia. You’re not just gonna sit still, or take anything without a fight. You’ve got more life in you then anyone. And I’ve met aliens.”

That was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about her.

She sniffed, her hands a wrinkled mess in her lap at she clenched at herself. Fuck pregnancy hormones.

“Aliens, huh?” She took a sip of her drink. “You’ll have to bring me around some time, let me get a good look.”

Greg only brightened at that, perking up in his slouch. “That’s a great idea! Oh, you’re gonna love Amethyst, seriously -”

She leaned away on to the door, her back aching. Maybe he was right - maybe she would like these friends of his. If they were anything like Greg himself - practically a golden retriever in kindness and positivity - they couldn’t be too bad.

It was be cool to see where all his crazy song ideas came from, anyways. Maybe she’ll stop by.

It’s in the middle of babysitting on a Monday when Kiki first rolls from her stomach to her back.

Vidalia immediately jumps up - well, as immediate as an eight months pregnant woman can do, and starts calling for Kofi and Nanefua, not caring the lunch rush was just beginning to start up.

They both burst through the door, wide eyes like expecting a catastrophe, and only blink a few times in relief as she explains.

They then they start nearly screaming in excitement.

They laugh and beam and hold Kiki up as they gush over her little fat baby body. Jenny gets passed around and teased and kissed on both cheeks, and both babies are smiling and giggling despite having no idea about anything but the love in which they’ve being smashed with.

Kofi, always a bit sad at milestones like these, manages a few laugh and grins and pokes at his own baby girls before the customers are yelling up the staircase and he’s rolling his eyes.

Nanefua leaves them all with lipstick kisses on their cheeks, Vidalia being the only one who cares enough to wipe off the color with a teasing look as she leaves.

Alone with the babies again, Vidalia only turns on them with a wide smile, and realizes that this - the swollen feet, the stretch marks across her hips and stomach, the aches and sickness and everything worse - it was kind of worth it.

She goes into labor on a Thursday, and in this way it feels almost as a full circle. But it also feels like the worst 16 hours of her life as she’s split apart and alone and crying and screaming with stranger’s hands on her. Her mother does not show up, even as she asks the nurses to call just one more time.

She’s alone for most of it, for more than half of it, but not all of it. Nanefua must have figured it out when she didn’t show up for babysitting, or maybe Greg when she didn’t answer his persistent knocking, but halfway through in the middle of a particularly horrible splitting of her body, she looks up and finds Nanefua pushing her way into the delivery room, strength ablazen in her eyes that Vidalia wasn’t even aware that she needed to borrow.

Nanefua lets Vidalia clench her hand in a bone crushing grip for nearly six hours, calm faced and composed as Vidalia screams and cries and sweats her way through three hospital gowns.

He is born on a Friday.

Friday, her favorite day of the week, because of what is yet to come.

He is born on a Friday.

Greg is in the waiting room, she later learns, where he paced and stood and brought tea to Kofi and the twins when they visited. He is the third person she chooses to let hold him - her kid, who’s quiet and sleepy and who’s feet the doctor’s have to slap to get him to cry out. It was her, then Nanefua, and then Greg, with his wild hair and beaming, watery eyes.

“He’s beautiful, Vid.” Greg told her, Nanefua going to relieve Kofi from twin duty. They were alone in the room. The nurses kept calling Greg the father when they came in, and despite Vidalia rolling her eyes and correcting them, Greg didn’t bother to once.

The weekend is ahead, and she’s already heard from Nanefua that Kofi is arranging a small surprise welcome home party in her two bedroom. He bought the twins new dresses for the occasion, and Greg is scheduled to play a few songs. Nanefua is making her signature accra banana peanut cake, and has already scheduled herself for two weeks of babysitting duty.

Her mother doesn’t show up, and her father is dead. She has no siblings or close cousins. But still, in this tiny beach town on the edge of sand and water, she finds herself a family.

Notes:

give me a slightly interesting minor female character and ill obsess over them and write an angsty found family backstory in a single night. god, i fucking love steven universe. it's finals week but tbh i needed this. Sorry if it's a bit choppy but if I don't post it now as is i'm going to keep working on it AND I HAVE TO STUDY OR I MIGHT DIE 8 AM ON TUESDAY. thanks for reading!

[missaureus]

ElyXiOn in Manila Pt. 3

The fans were ecstatically waving their lightsticks on the air to match up the heated screams as the arena lights turned off. I was about to tear up. Overwhelmed. The boys were already on the rising platform ready to be revealed while the first VCR was rolling. I just had my hand covering my mouth because I still cannot believe it was already happening. They were hitting the notes of the first song, The Eve. As expected, the vocals were just unbelievably powerful. It served me goosebumps! It was starting but I was still being slapped by a big wave of panic and shock. I did not know what to do first! I just kept on excessively saying Oh my god! in between the mouth covering. Not to mention that they were performing on the main stage, thus, I had to take an effort tiptoeing to be able to see them from my area. Nonetheless, I just tried to watch them with my eyes instead of taking videos. The next song was on, Forever, followed by Kokobop, and I already had the guts to figure on how I can take videos with that kind of situation. 

During Growl, the boys were already approaching towards the center extended stage that caused chaos in our pit! I kept on chanting how handsome they are, especially when Jongin was dancing in front of my eyes! It is not even my first time to see him but I was still surprised! God really spent so much time molding this guy TT After the group performance was XiuBaek’s break dance on the rising platform of the center stage. It was good, I was questioning why they aren’t the main dancers of the group. No joke at all! VCR 2 played and eventually a time to appreciate the art that Jongin is while performing I See You. How I wish I saw it much closer since he did it on the main stage but still, seeing the whole production was beautiful. His spins were made out of grace.

After Jongin’s solo stage was the musical part. This was actually a favorite, it is analogous to the acoustic medley of EXOrDium setlist. It consisted of three songs, Call Me Baby, Touch It, and Chill. I love how hyped they were in this segment, they were trying to tell a story of young professionals going to a bar after a hard day from the office. Great acting with those facial gestures and body language plus the adlibs. Did I mention how grand the set-up was? Because it was grand grand! I wonder how they assemble such background in overseas stops, am curious. This is what I love about Kpop concerts, they invest so much on the production and do pioneering concepts. Every cent used to buy the concert ticket is worth it. Always. 

Kyungsoo had his solo stage, For Life English version. Thank you for the crowd respecting the masterpiece by staying silent throughout the solemn part of the song. In between silence, one fan really shouted his lung’s content, “I love you, Kyungsoo!. I felt that and it broke me to tears. Being able to attend ElyXiOn was a miracle and I was so much grateful that I chose to fight for it until the end. I wiped my wet cheeks out and sighed with relief. Thank God for this experience.

Next to the set list were Going Crazy and Sweet Lies. The choreographies were done to the center narrow stage. Eventually, first ment! They forwarded and stayed in their usual line formation to officially greet everyone. I was happy to see them together again after a long time. Manila stop was a reunion for all since they had different flights coming to the country. They just had short introductions of their names with matching Mabuhay, Kamusta kayo? and such. Next in line were Boomerang and Lotto. I love the throwback feels of the microphone props used in Bthe latter song. Lotto is just that song! I do not know but Jongin is just crazy for it! Probably because he was not able to do promo stages of it he gotta give his all for all remaining Lotto stages haha.

Kids at play plus messing up with CBX during Kaching happened next. This part was so wildt! Umin and Jongdae’s faces were on a life-sized fake peso bill and coin hahaha! Money’s good. Money’s bad! 

Finally, a rest for everyone! A ballad on the list, Sing for You. The members had an individual big portrait LED screens on stage. Did I mention that they sing live? Because yes! And after calming our nerves down, they attacked again. What’s good, Junmyeon? He just rudely performed Playboy on a table. The disrespect that I was not able to handle! But it was so cute he was trying to pull off a fierce and sexy image but it is out of his line. Hands down to the leader who loves to try new unfamiliar things. I guess this whole concert duration was a good example of a roller coaster ride haha! They would love to wreck you with intimate or hard performances and fix you back with ballads. Hand by Chanyeol emotionally wrecked everyone.

Back to happy setlist - Cloud 9, What U Do?, Lucky One and Tender Love. Okay this part was top-tier chaos, especially during the last song. The boys where scattered all over the arena, reaching corners to throw signed balls. There was swerving of people within the pit. I was so afraid of stampede to happen!!! My videos were so messy, I even recorded myself shouting at the back to stop pushing lmao. It continued for some time until the segment ended. Second ment is on. As I reviewed my fancams, there was even a part that I was not able to turn it off, I was uttering “ Wala na, patay nako!” It’s over, I’m dead already! because that was honestly scary. I cannot remember what they really talked about during this time but I can only remember Junmyeon kept on praising Filipino fans for singing along well haha. He even asked if we have Korean academy in the country lol. He also asked this during EXOrDium. We do no not to fanchants, that’s the rule. No one bends the rule!

The boys split up again, staying on the side extended stage. I honestly forgot what songs to be performed were on the spot near me but Jongin stopped literally in front of me, or in front of our area, there were like two people in front of me, during Walk on Memories! I tried hard to get my crumpled cloth banner that I happened to put in my back pocket! I raised it with my one hand and waved it while struggling to used my other hand to video him! I swear that was the closest proximity that I had with Jongin huhuhuhu! His eyes wandered over the crowd. I was not sure if he was able to read it. It was written as GOD KAI. But when it was already Jongin’s turn to sings his part, he acknowledged me by pointing it my banner mannerly HUHUHUHUHU!!! I shouted and kept chanting ohmygodohmygod!!! I must have saved someone from my previous life to deserve this! (okay, I am currently having a goosebumps while typing this down huhu) I was not able to video it properly, my whole existence was trembling. I tried to remain calm for the rest of the song since he did not leave the spot! I tried to reviewed my fancam second by second and yes, he read it! I am sure. 

Next in line was Heaven, a solo stage of Jongdae. I tried to collect myself this time. I was devastated in a good way. Is that even possible? I was already so satisfied and blessed to be recognized for once in my fangirl life. It was a right decision to stay in the area! What were the odds? I was greatly favored!

Though I could already go back to my condo, happy and satisfied, the most awaited part was yet to happen, the club/rave one! With Sehun’s Go as a mood-setter of the segment. I am so proud of him, producing this song! The next was Diamond, followed by Coming Over, and Run This. During Run This, Sehun replaced Jongin’s spot. He was so so so close! He even bent towards our area to reach for the microphone! He was unbelievably handsome! The last two songs were, Drop That and Power and ohmygod again because Jongin assumed his former position. What a dream to see him dance to Power in front of me!!! This part was fun. I guess its very highlight was when Jongdae was on a rising platform and it elevated when he sang the high-note part of Drop That! It was so lit! The confetti bombarded afterwards to end the grand moment. 

Encore followed. The fans were chanting. I was in denial that it was about to end. The boys appeared again and I was left silent because they skipped Monster which was originally on the setlist. I felt robbed, that song is lit. I need to witness it! Sadly, it went that way. They performed Don’t Go on the rising platform of the center stage. I was figuratively clenching my heart because the song brought so much emotions, happy and sad. We are literally growing with them. The fairytale-ish era was gone. 

EXO proceeded with their ending ments. Chanyeol shared that he had his scuba diving lessons in the Philippines and is now a licensed scuba diver. He also expressed that the country is one of the best places to chill and relax (we take pride of our white sand beaches and anything that plays with nature!) Kyungsoo was regretful that we only had one day for Manila stop, he also expressed that he loves to visit Philippines because of the food. Jongin said that we also wanted to have more days to perform in this stop and will try to do so for the next concerts. He expressed how much he enjoyed the loud crowd neomu neomu! Manila is the best! is the most remarkable comment that Jongdae mentioned. Minseok shared that Manila stop was a reunion for the members since they were not able to see each other due to individual schedules. He considered Manila stop very memorable because of that. Baekhyun emphasized how passionate PH fans are that he also drained all his energy to be at par with ours. It only meant that he enjoyed performing on stage for the fans. While Baekhyun was expressing his thoughts, the fans sang in chorus an advance happy birthday for Baekhyun. Sehun also expressed his interest of going back to the Philippines apart from doing concerts. It was already Junmyeon’s turn for the ment. He asked the fans if we’ve noticed those dust flying from above because he thought that the day was Blooming Day. I guess he just want to do a free promo for CBX haha that he then sang the song and hoped for the subunit to have a Manila stop for their concert. The other members were very chaotic throughout the ment, they had their own world especially ChanKaiSoo! Junmyeon noticed Jongin playfully let the two chicken toys kissed lmao and Junmyeon had secondhand embarassment while asking for apology. To distract the moment, Baekhyun sang Baby Shark hahahahahaha what the hell, I swear they are kids! The crowd joined the singing and the members were all smiley. When Junmyeon said that the members did not want to back to Korea [because they were enjoying too much on stage]  the VIP to general admission chanted “Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi!” I swear that was the loudest cheer we had that night! But I so disappointed because the translator did not translate it. You only have one job, miss. Junmyeon was actually asking what it was about and got no respond. Fans were already shouting at the top of our lungs “Nobody goes home!!!” Sadly, he did not get the message. Junmyeon shared a heartwarming message that: Wherever we are, EXO and EXOLs are one. Baekhyun, again, started singing Baby Shark and the crowd followed lmao. Jongdae and Xiumin were so done with him that they grabbed Baekhyun on the neck to make him stop. Lastly, Junmyeon said they will be back for a vacation and new concert and introduced the last song, Angel. 

The boys are happily picking stuff thrown on stage by the fans and tried to wear everything they liked! It was really the end of this soon-to-be memory~ Kyungsoo shouted loudly “ Mahal kita, Philippines!” and I appreciated it so much! We ended the day with a photo taking with everyone in the arena. They waved goodbye as they vanished like a sunset under the main stage. 

It was over but I was so happy. Probably the happiest. Definitely the best concert. I love them more. It is more than just stanning EXO as an artist but they are people who are part of my youth. I take pride of whatever they do in their life and career that makes them whole are a human being. 

I went how full the next day. I went to the airport alone and took time to appreciate how lucky I am and I greatly honored the Lord for letting me come this far. He knew how much I had, a fistful of endurance over not-so pleasant events but He allowed me and did not let go of me. Thank God. Thank God. 

[freedom-shamrock]

I’m Ladybug

Also on AO3 Chronologically follows “Not Teasing” but can stand on its own. Sorry to be late with this one.

Chat rolled the die and moved his piece around the board, groaning dramatically when he landed on the purple square with a fuschia butterfly on it.  "Give me a card."  He held out his hand, waiting while Tom laughed at this particular predicament, which somehow hadn't gotten old.

"What's it say?" Marinette asked, both eager and anxious.

They were playing a new Ladybug and Chat Noir board game her parents had found, and the irony wasn't wasted on him.  He was also a bit unsure how he felt about people making light of Hawkmoth and akumatization.  But he wasn't going to let any of that get in the way of game night with the people who wanted him to marry their daughter (or at least joked about it with appalling regularity).

Chat pouted across the board at his girlfriend.  "I'm having a bad day.  My darling just broke up with me."  He pretended to swoon, careful not to knock over the snacks.  "Mariiiiii!" he whined.  "I'm soooo heartbroken."

Marinette scowled.  "I vote we burn that card."

"Now, now, Sweetie," her mother tempered, patting her shoulder.  "We all know that's not happening anytime soon, if ever.  And it's just a game.  We're not going to destroy it."  She rolled the die and moved around the board, landing on a Good Fortune square.  "Oooh."  She drew a card from the rainbow confetti deck.  "I won a contest."  She took the negativity card in front of her and discarded it, making herself immune to Hawkmoth, for the moment.

The game involved collecting positivity cards to cancel out any negativity cards.  Landing on a Hawkmoth square forced the player to draw a negativity card.  If they had a positivity card of equal or greater value, they got to discard both.  If they couldn't discard the negativity card, they had to keep it.  Landing on one of the Akuma! squares with a negativity card in your hand meant you were the akuma for the game.  So far Marinette was the only one who had an excess of positivity cards.  Everyone else had been walking the line between safe and at risk for the first few rounds.

"So what happens when someone gets akumatized?" Marinette asked, rolling the die and moving her piece.  She landed on a square that allowed her to give someone else one of her cards.  "Ah, ah, ah."  She pointed to Chat's negativity card.  "What's the value on that?"

"Ten."  This was a dynamic he liked.  Now it was true she could have shared a negativity card.  If she'd had one.  But she didn't, and she was saving him with one of her positivity cards.

"Here, this one's perfect for you."  She thrust a card at him.  "You've been chosen to model for Gabriel Agreste's new line.  It's a dream come true."  She fluttered her eyelashes at him.

Laughter barreled past his defenses.  Had he missed her getting that card?  The absurdity was too perfect.  "I knew I belonged on the Chatwalk," he said, tossing his hair.  Then he met her eyes, his smile more serious.  "We should modify that card though.  I'd rather model Marinette Dupain-Cheng's new line."

Sabine giggled.  "Oh goodness.  You two are too darling."

"You're giving me a toothache, my boy," Tom teased, smiling broadly enough to make it clear he meant the opposite.

Unfortunately on the next round Chat picked up another negativity card (you failed the exam) and landed on the Akuma! square when someone's random draw moved everyone backward two spaces.

"Well," Tom said, pulling out some more pieces from the box.  "You wanted to know what happened when someone gets akumatized."  He fanned out a small pile of violent lavender cards.  "Pick one, Chat.  This will tell us your powers."  He set an equally obnoxious die in front of him.  "You get to go on each of our turns now, as you try to hunt us down, immobilize us, or turn us into your minions."

"Where's Ladybug?" Chat mock-wailed.

"One of us will turn into ladybug, hopefully in time to win the game," Tom said, setting some other cards and dice on the board.

The second phase of the game was very different, and much faster paced than the first.  Chat used his extra turns to chase them around the board, flinging sticky webs at them  He managed to trap Tom pretty quickly.  He was closing in on Sabine when Marinette drew the Ladybug card.

"Oh, I'm Ladybug…"  Her cheeks turned adorably pink, and she faltered as if she'd said something wrong.

"Rawr," Chat said, leaning on the table.  "Give me your miraculous."

"Not today, silly kitty," she replied, absently reaching out to boop his nose while she rolled to distract him from his attack.  

It struck him as a very Ladybug reaction, not to an akuma, but to his teasing.  Apparently his girlfriend could role play and had been more attentive of Alya's videos than he'd thought.  Then it occurred to him that she might be cribbing Ladybug's moves because she thought it would make him happier.  He probably needed to make sure she knew that wasn't remotely necessary.

"You get to draw one of these every other round," her father said, handing her a black spotted red deck.  "Oooh!  Lucky charm!"  She pulled out a card.  "A toothpick?  What am I supposed to do with a toothpick?" she demanded, snatching the directions from her father.

With a couple of lucky roles Marinette managed to defeat him, with the toothpick no less.  She mimed snatching something away from him and crushing it in her hands.  God she was adorable.

"No more evil doing for you."  She took his negativity card and tucked it back into the stack.  "Bye, bye, little butterfly."  She picked up her lucky charm card and tossed it into the air.  "Miraculous Ladybug!"  It was quieter than he usually heard that triumphant cry, but the tone was spot on.  She reached out and wiggled her fingers over the board and its pieces.

"What's that?" Tom asked.

She froze, looking up at her father.  "It's my army of healing ladybugs, spreading over the city to fix all the damage."

"Oh my god, you're so cute," Chat said, the words escaping before he got to approve them.  But his filter as Chat wasn't nearly as good as his filter as Adrien, so he really needed to get used to blurting things out like that around her.

She grinned at him, then looked back at the game.  "There is a Chat Noir option, right?" she asked, picking up the cards they used in response to the akuma and rifling through them.  "Where is he?"  She looked extremely irritated that she couldn't find his card.

Tom reached into the box and pulled out the Chat Noir card.  "Looking for this one, Cupcake?"

She snatched it out of her hand, critically assessing his image.  "Why wasn't he in the deck?"

"With five or fewer players, Chat Noir is removed from play," Tom explained, his voice soothing.  "It's not a slight."  He shrugged.  "You can't win the game without Ladybug, and they need to make the odds such that Ladybug can show up."

"Well Ladybug doesn't succeed without Chat, so that's a stupid rule."  She pouted.

"I think you're just a little extra sensitive about this topic," Sabine suggested.  "And you're right, Ladybug does need her black cat."  Her smile looked secretive.

His girlfriend's beautiful eyes were wide as she stared at her mother.  She abruptly stood up.  "I need to walk Chat out."

Tom chuckled.  "It's much earlier than he usually has to leave," he pointed out.

"You don't need to lie for our sakes," Sabine assured her daughter, then turned her smile on Chat to include him.  "You're allowed to want some private time.  Just be safe."

Marinette let out a squawk.  "Yes.  Safe.  Thank you.  Good night."  She grabbed Chat's hand and dragged him toward her steps.

Holding back his chuckles, Chat followed her, turning to wave to her parents.  "Thanks for the lovely evening.  Dinner was wonderful.  It's always a pleasure."

Next in series > Our Cake

Marichat May, Day 25, Akumatized Chat Noir This is also a continuation of my Miraculous Acts of Kindness series proposed by @squirrellygirlart on Tumblr. Dire (aka @portentous-offerings ) is one of my favorite artists. Her ML art is amazing, but she's not limited to just that fandom or focus. Her comics/graphic stories are beautiful. And she's a staunch and inspiring warrior against art theft. You can also find her on Patreon (if it’s not showing up as a link, that url is https://www.patreon.com/Dire_Hard)

[silver-soliloquy]

So I actually do have very late notes from last week’s reading! Uh, oops, I’m really slow at translating notes into semi-coherent form apparently

XXXVI

o   Carnival time!

o   Dumas seems to be going for a ~demonic debauchery~ angle here, but tbh costumes and confetti and flowers and parades seem like a pretty good time?  okay

o   Why won’t Edmond get down from his fancy window? I want someone to throw an egg at him

o   Albert finally gets some flirting in!  Well done Albert!  Franz’s fond teasing is both hilarious and adorable

o   Franz apparently really wants us to know that Albert’s peasant costume is really hot?  OKAY THEN FRANZ

o   I’m kind of curious about how much regional variation in dress there was that you can specifically do costumes of peasants from specific areas and expect them to be recognized?

o   “I AM IN LOVE” Albert declares after like 3 days of chucking flowers back and forth with a girl, what a nerd

o   Franz is also “a true Byronic hero” apparently? I am a little skeptical of this, he’s not extra enough

o   Admittedly it’s been a while since I read any Byron, I should maybe brush up since they keep referencing him ALL THE TIME

o   If anyone knows of any articles and suchlike on the relationship between the French and English Romantics I would really love to read that

o   I love that Robin Buss keeps calling out Dumas’s timeline inconsistencies in the footnotes, it’s both hilarious and informative!

o   “he himself would prefer not to be in Paris when the count was there” thus proving that Franz is the smartest person in this novel

o   The whole scene with the moccoletti is absolutely gorgeous, and I love that the carnival ends with as sudden a mood shift as it began—from horror at the execution into revelry and then into darkness and melancholy just like that

XXXVII (the roman numerals are getting kind of ridiculous)

o   FRANZ WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO BY HIMSELF, YOU KNOW HE’S THE MOST TROUBLE-PRONE PERSON IN EXISTENCE OF COURSE HE WALKED RIGHT INTO A TRAP

o   Okay so I’m assuming Edmond arranged for the kidnapping, but was his plan actually just to loan Franz the money or was he actually counting on Franz knowing that he knew the bandits so he could go play the savior without having to suggest it himself?  Your chessmastering gives me a headache, Edmond

o   The thing where he pretends to be surprised that Peppino remembers him saving his life a whole WEEK ago seems…significant

o   I’m glad Teresa is still having fun at parties, although I have a lot of questions about how her life is going as the mistress of the bandit king

o   I feel like Edmond definitely meant for Albert to have to sit and ponder his fate all night, given his penchant for absolute-last-minute saves

o   IS VAMPA IN ON THIS WHOLE BIT OF THEATRE??? EXPLAIN YOURSELF EDMOND

o   Albert is entirely too chill about this whole affair and I can’t stop laughing

o   Franz asking the head bandit for book recs before he goes: EVEN MORE HILARIOUS

o   Okay so by Edmond’s messed-up theories about a person’s reaction to imminent death revealing their True Character, I think Albert did pretty darn well there?  Obviously he didn’t have to wait till the exact moment of death before being saved like poor Morrel (what the hell Edmond), but if this was intended as a test of Albert’s character as well as a way to get him in the count’s debt he should’ve passed with flying colors!  And yet Edmond still can barely deal with shaking his hand :(

o   PLEASE DON’T HURT THIS NICE KID, EDMOND

XXXVIII

o   “I wanted to demonstrate something to those bandits, namely that while people fight one another in every country in the world, only the Frenchman jests as he fights” okay this was hilarious until I thought about “the besieged were running out of cartridges but not out of witticisms; in this whirlwind of the sepulcher in which they found themselves, they laughed” and now I might be crying a little bit

o   Franz is finally realizing that leaving Albert alone with the count is a bad idea!  Well done, Franz!  One near-death experience per vacation is plenty

o   NOW PLEASE GO BACK TO PARIS WITH ALBERT AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM, THE COUNT’S ~PLANS~ ARE CLEARLY NOTHING GOOD

o   “Worried about the rendez-vous!  I never!  Are you mad, my dear Franz?”  ALBERT THE LAST RENDEZVOUS HE LET YOU GO ON ENDED IN YOU GETTING KIDNAPPED AND ALMOST MURDERED.  THAT WAS LITERALLY LAST NIGHT.  DUDE.

o   Nooooo Franz don’t leave :((((

XXXIX

o   Yay Paris!!

o   YAY MORE FRIENDS!!

o   I…still do not really understand what Debray’s job is, but he’s sure entertaining

o   *lowkey ships Debray/Beauchamp*

o   WHY DID CHATEU-RENAUD AND FRANZ FIGHT A DUEL THOUGH, I NEED MORE OF THIS BACKSTORY

o   How does Franz still think of himself as The Reasonable One when he apparently gets into duels with his close friends for flimsy enough reasons that no one can remember what that was even about later oh my god

o   I love how Albert solemnly swore not to tell anyone about Franz’s hash adventures at Monte Cristo and then turns around and tells literally everyone he knows at the first available opportunity

o   I don’t actually have that much to say about this chapter except that I love all the banter and teasing SO MUCH, these kids are all so delightful and I hope we see much more of them

o   Okay so Edmond is still clearly very fond of Maximilien in his weird creepy way, and he seems surprised to see him but he doesn’t really react to fact that his friend’s kid is friends with his enemy’s kid? I’m interested that that didn’t get more of a spotlight, since that seems like it’s going to be an Issue with Maximilien later in the book?

XI

o   Edmond does surprisingly well with being thrown into the Baby Dandy Bffs crowd first thing in the morning, that seems like kind of a weird way to introduce someone to ~society~ but our Count is unruffleable as ever!

o   “how do you go without food and sleep for that long????” “oh, drugs” EDMOND THAT IS NOT HEALTHY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

o   Wait so that was Haydee whose freedom Edmond bought with the giant ridiculous emerald, right?

o   Edmond quit trolling poor Maximilien

o   “They did not know whether Monte Cristo was play-acting, but everything that this man said, despite his eccentricity, was delivered in such a simple tone that it was impossible to suspect him of anything” OH BOY

o   Edmond sure is Weird about Haydee

XLI

o   Albert has Notre Dame de Paris fanart on his walls oh my gosh what a cutie

o   Hi Delacroix!!  This is about the time he was bopping around Morocco fueling everyone’s interest in Orientalism, right? (thanks a lot, Delacroix)

o   Dauzat’s Orientalism travel art isn’t actually that bad, he seems more interested in intricate architecture and really big rocks than creepily exoticizecd people.  And he did Sinbad fanart! (although not till the 1860s I think)

o   On the other hand, probably I’m just relieved that he’s not Jean-Leon Gerome levels of terrible, I really hate that guy

o   ANYWAYS ART HISTORY NERD TANGENT OVER

o   Wait no it’s not, the class-as-costume thing from carnival getting lampshaded in the portrait of Mercedes is super interesting—also that Albert apparently either doesn’t recognize the style or doesn’t know his parents’ history?  Either way there’s so much disguise in this book I just want to take note of Mercedes’ original identity represented through her poor Catalan clothes being taken for another disguise

o   Also it’s just really cute that Albert keeps a portrait of his mom in his room

o   …Antoine-Jean Gros is the same one as Grantaire’s ex-teacher, yes?  Is there room for crossovers here because I would like Grantaire and Albert to be friends please

o   Okay so the thing with Albert’s family’s coat of arms and his nobility on his father’s side—did I miss something about Ferdinand or did he just totally make all this up after he got rich and titled??

o   Mercedes is still the best!!!

o   THIS GUY IS SKETCHY, literally everyone screams at Albert as he cheerfully ignores them

o   Nothing to add to the last chapters except that Edmond apparently thinks it’s really entertaining to torment his servants, nice