#I am going to scream in the face of a politician about this one day

[faenights]

am going to rant about the uk mh services because i am angry about it always and forever and am having one of those adhd moments where i feel like i'll explode if i don't put it somewhere! It is under the cut dw <3 TL:DR I cannot begin to express how angry I am that the government tries to claim they care about trans people when the mh services are,, like this.

re: my last reblogged post... i am so genuinly concerned about the state of politics and the fact that the only thing that seems to remotely imply that the government cares about mh services is actually just people using it as an excuse to be transphobic.

There's little point in trying to break down whatever it is that they're saying atm but one of the main points (which we've seen in america a lot as well!!) is the what about the children?? question which makes me more angry than i care to articulate. Because, quite CLEARLY, none of this: making two gendered toilets manditory, making it difficult if not impossible for trans people to access healthcare, that goddamn report they did?? has anything to do with the children.

now i hope i don't come across as a terf for saything this but,, i do think there is a legitmate concern about the implications of prescribing hormone ultering drugs to children when they're still developing. We know that hormones do a lot to fuck with mh and its not something that should be given to anyone lightly. HOWEVER, if that was the genuine concern with any of this, they are coming at it in entirely the wrong way.

this is partially one of the reasons puberty blockers are prescribed for younger trans people. as far as we are aware, it doesn't have anywhere near the mh implications that changing their puberty entirely can and it has the added benefit for not forcing someone to go through a puberty that they have quite clearly expressed will be very distressing. puberty is a shitty thing to go through anyway, mh is especally volatile when hormones are involved. this is shown by,, literally every teenager ever. but you know whats also a great fucking example of this?? birth control!! which is something that many doctors are very happy to prescribe without putting in anywhere near as much thought/education or awareness of the impacts. If they truly gave a shit about the children and ~hormones~, birth control would not be prescribed so easily. but it is, because its not actually about child wellbeing. the same goes for the presciption of mh medications e.g. antidepressants. Below is mostly just me ranting about my shitty doctors. It's not entirely relevent but exlains why im so goddamn angry and convinced that this mh bs people argue is bs.

I, for example, have been taking antidepressants since I was 14. I do not remeber clearly what it was like to not be on them other than the fact that I was Very mentally unwell. I will be the first to say that they have so useful and, I do believe it may have genuinly saved my life at the time. But, I am now 22. I have reached the point where I am at the highest dose of my current antidepressants and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do when they stop working. I didn't care when I was 14 but, I am now old enough to consider the implications of taking antidepressants for so long, especally given that I was so young. No one has ever sat me down and talked to me about the implications of this medication for anything really, let alone the implications it may or may not have had given that my brain was still developing for the majority of the time i've been taking it. infact, the few times i have tried to talk to someone about it the process has been so infuritating i've ended up more distressed than I was to begin with and have just,, given up for the time being. I am not a doctor, and getting in contact with a doctor about it has always been very difficult, but I know antidepressants are not supposed to be a long term solution. they are a band aid that's used with other treatments. when you prescribe antidepressants and do nothing else,, they don't work. and yet,, here I am, a person that has been on this since I was barely a teenager, in a position where I cannot talk to someone about it despite trying to. because, and this is my main point in all this,, THE MH SYSTEM HERE IS FUCKING TERRIBLE.

I am in the wonderful position of living in one of the areas with the worst mh services in the UK so I hope that my expereince is just an especally bad one, but I know that it is likely very common. In fact, I'm lucky that I got prescribed antidepressants at all since most people don't even get that. the only reason I got them in the first place is because I'm lucky enough that my parents could afford for me to see someone privately. I have never managed to get an nhs doctor or wellbeing service to even remotely listen to me in the past 8 years I've been through that system. Unfortunately, in my expereince at least, trying to contact the nhs about my mh issues has lead to,, "come back when you're worse". Even when when I've quite openly said to them that if I get any worse I'm sure if I'll still be alive to come back to them. This has made no difference whatsoever. If i had had to rely on the NHS mental health systems, or the non existant "support" i had from schools (which also knew of my mh issues at the time but did nothing) I truly don't think I would still be alive to write angry tumblr posts about it.

What I mean to say is,, this has been my expereince with pretty "standard" mh issues (anxiety ect). We know that trans peole are a lot more likely to die when not given treatment or any form of support than most other groups of peole. How you can know that and still try and argue that taking away the one thing that might help people and hide behind the excuse that it's because you "care about their wellbeing" is beyond me. and, say Mrs TERF is right, and some kids that say they're trans are actually dealing with other issues that they later realise, the level of harm that is done to them by ignoring them or worse, telling them they don't know about their own feelings or expereinces, is so much worse than the possibility of someone detransitioning. People, especally young people, need to time and space to figure out who they are. denying them that does nothing but hurt them more and lead so many other complications later in life.

If the governement really truly did care about the mh of young people, these implimentaions would be different. They would centre trans people and focus on what trans people say they need. Not random cis women that have decided to speak over them. if they cared about the mh of young people, they'd review whatever the fuck is going on with the mh services in this country and not make trying to ask for help feel like you're fighting a battle with a thousand monsters just to get to the bottom of a mountain. they would change mh services so they actually fucking helped instead of told people to go away or prescribe medications to make someone shut up for a few months. They would give a shit that children keep fucking dying because they are asking for help and no one is helping them.

When the government or the nhs or whatever talks about mh they try and say that there is help out there and you can get better you've just gotta open up! They are 1) ignoring that opening up and speaking to peole about this is an incredibly difficult thing to do in the first place and 2) ignoring that they are seeming to do everything in their power to not help people.

if you read that, I'm very greatful, thank you. and I apologise for all the spelling mistakes.

[jarmes]

There’s a link that keeps going around for a website

You can click a button once a day

And give a fraction of a penny to the victims of a genocide

I do my daily clicks

I go to work

On my lunch break, I read articles

1,000 dead

2,000

10,000

30,000 now

Tomorrow more

I do my daily clicks

I see a photo of a murdered child

They starved him to death

He doesn’t even look like a human being anymore

Like an alien, the way his eyes bulge

The way his skin clings to his bones like saran wrap

I see him when I close my eyes

I do my daily clicks

I read the news again

They gunned down a crowd begging for food

The next day, the news has moved on

The day after, another massacre

No one cares this time

I do my daily clicks

A soldier burns himself to death

He screams for freedom as his skin turns to ash

He gives everything he can

I do my daily clicks

They call it self-defense

But I see their politicians call for extermination

I see ours call for the same

I see soldiers stealing the underwear of the women they murder

As their commanders talk about feminism

I see the burned remnants of ambulances

Soldiers dressed as doctors murdering surgeons

Churches turned to rubble

Burning white phosphorous

I do my daily clicks

I talk about the genocide online

A dozen people I’ve never spoken to flock to the post

They try to explain why the murder of children is righteous

I block them, but they come back again and again

I get an anonymous message calling me a Nazi

I do my daily clicks

I donate $50

I do it more to feel like I’ve done something

I know it isn’t enough, know it won’t matter

But at least I’m able to sleep now

I do my daily clicks

I confront a politician

I ask him about the slaughter

I want him to be hateful

I want him to talk about the glory of the white race with a smile on his face

He doesn’t

He’s articulate and solemn

He calls the loss of life tragic

Then says we must accept it

Says it is for the good of those slain

Says that this is what happens in war

I know he would not say the same if Americans were dying

I do my daily clicks

Before he died

The soldier asked a question

What would you do during the holocaust?

During slavery?

I know the truth

He gave everything he could

I gave $50

I do my daily clicks

They cut funding for aid

They increase funding for bombs

I go to work

I pay my taxes

I contribute to the slaughter, in some small way

I do my daily clicks

I go to church

They talk about forgiveness

About mercy

About loving your enemy

The same people who cheer the deaths of children

The same people who smile at piles of corpses

Who tell me we must go on a holy war

They tell me their god was loving

That’s why they are permitted to be cruel

I say nothing

I do my daily clicks

I fantasize about violence more and more

Of killing the people responsible

Of saving lives

I know I’ll never do anything

I know that I’m a coward

I do my daily clicks

I act like I’m the victim

Write a poem about my pain

It’s laughable

To think that I am suffering

I am so very very lucky

I do my daily clicks

They say that evil triumphs

When good men do nothing

But I am not a good man

None of us are

A good man would do more than click a fucking button once a day

I’m sorry I didn’t do more

[mjso-soupp]

Meet me in the South

Chapter 2: I’m not native

(Subaru Sakamaki/Fem!American!Reader)

Word count: 2.7k

TW: Mentions of blood, and Bullying(idk lol?)

Notes: Im really proud about how this one turned out, updates may be more frequent since I do have a clear schedule for now.. Thank you for my two best friends for helping me through this (ahem, bubble and Iris..)

I like feeling the water rush under my feet, in the creek behind the church.

My friends fingers gripping my bare shoulder, scared she’ll slip and fall.

I laugh and tell her it’s okay if she does, I’ll get wet with her.

We walked the winding creek down to the river, my friends waiting on the bridge above.

She held my hand when we stood on the edge of the bridge, it’s not far. It'll last a few seconds.

I feel my insides become lighter when we jump, our screams resonate together and pierce the quiet air.

Water shoots up my nose. Once I reach the shore, she smiles at me.

“See? It wasn’t so bad.”

——

February 20th 2004

“Damn, you take forever to wake up.”

The bed sunk under the weight of the two, Subaru observing her resting face, the sun went away, taking the long shadows it placed on the earth with it, and the heat it blessed life. The last seven days were warmer in the night, occasional outings gave energy to both brides and life in the mansion was thriving. Her body was huddled under the king size sheet, curled in hopes of beating the chilling air in the mansion that never left. Her eyes cracked open, fluttering open to meet Subaru’s piercing gaze.

“Is it time for school..?” She whispered, propping up on her elbow. Rubbing circles on her lids.

“Hurry up, Reijis gonna be on our asses. You wouldn’t wake up so I just sat here waiting.”

“You were watching me sleep?”

“N-not like that! Tch, I was just passing the time. I went to sleep earlier than usual, and couldn't go back to sleep.”

“Okay..” His face grew red, standing up abruptly and walking to the door.

“Just, hurry up and get ready, okay?” Slamming the door behind him, leaving the girl on the bed confused.

——

“Can you tell me the answer to number five?”

Her head lifted slowly in confusion, the bright fluorescent lights hindering her vision whilst attempting to observe the surroundings. It was class time, the lesson had been slept away. Everyone was staring at the sight before them in her groggy awakening, watching her jaw stretch open for a yawn while her arms stretched behind her back, cracking it loudly. The teacher stood at the front of the board, ruler in one hand, chalk in another, waiting for a response patiently.

“Me?” She replied,

“Yes, you. You would have a clue about what’s going on if you weren’t sleeping.”

‘What class am I even in again? There’s kanji scribbled on the board, how many kilometers are in a mile again…? This is math right?’ Bright eyes finally adjusted to the bright room, noticing a group of girls in the corner covering their mouths.

They giggled. The one that stood out, leaned over to one of the petite girls next to her, whispering in her ear causing her to giggle continuously. They eventually made eye contact with her.

The girl's name was Hana, her hair was as dark as the atmosphere around her, that fell down to her waist, eyes of emerald green that slanted ever so slightly, making her look angry all the time. She also wore her uniform loosely: Blazer that fit her a size too large, button up with a couple of them missing, short skirt that questionably adhered to the dress code and a new pair of mary jane’s everyday. All her friends however, were short: Hair, Height, and short of dignity. As opposed to her menacing personality, she was surrounded with all the bubbly, gyaru girls? And they practically worshiped the ground she walked on, wiping her fake tears for her. Her father was a politician that worked with the Sakamaki brothers' father, that was the word around the class.

“debu.” Her friends laughed even louder this time, the teacher just rolled her eyes and walked back to the board.

“Enough of that. Please try to stay awake for the next lesson.”

“Yes, maam.”

Then the bell rang, signaling lunch, everyone rushed out of the room, crowding the halls. Hana and her friends watched the girl leave the room, turning their heads, smirking when they collaborated on their idea.

The bench on the top of the roof was her designated spot, no one would greet her up there. She had gotten used to sitting peacefully, listening to the wind howl while eating whatever the cafeteria was serving. Occasionally Laito would pop up, but not much

mind was paid to him

“Look who it is, it’s debu!” She stood up and walked towards the girl. Her eyes sent a glint even through the dark night and the moon shone on her shiny polished nails.

“Hey, Debu!” Her lips parted into a wide grin, licking her red lips. The bride's face dropped into a worried expression, her heart began racing, quickening her breaths.

“What does that mean..?” Hana laughed, bringing her hand onto her hip, her pocket knife metal shining.

The same girls laugh echoed behind, the bride snapped her head around, facing the three girls.

“Gaijin, they’re such an eyesore. Don’t you agree, girls? Maybe we should teach her a lesson.”

The pocket knife flipped open in the swipe of Hana’s wrist, lunging at the bride. Hana’s arm wrapped around the brides shoulder and held the blade up to her neck.

“Stop—what are you doing!” The cold blade pressed down onto the bride's pale skin, droplets of crimson earned a hiss from the frightened girl.

“This will teach you to stay away from what isn’t yours.” The blade slicing a thin line into the bride's neck, she closed her eyes in response, chewing on her lip to muffle a scream.

“Oi! What the hell do you think you’re doing!”

Hana jumped at the sound of the vampire's voice, she shot looks at the three girls, dropped her grip on the bride and fled, along with her group. Leaving the bride confused once again, she held her neck, blood streaming down onto her white button up.

“Fuck, are you okay— You’re always causing trouble for me! I can’t waste this, okay, I’ll clean you up.”

“I’m sorry—I didn’t see them coming.”

“S-shut up, they’re gone now.”

He brought her in close, taking in her scent before pressing a flat tongue along the incision, Lapping up any remaining crimson that didn’t leave a mark on the pure white blouse.

“Thank you.”

“Tsk. don’t thank me idiot.”

——

“Come on Shuu, it’s your turn!” Yui squealed, the sleeping blond had missed the past turns, everyone groaned watching him crack his eye open, unbothered.

“I don’t even enjoy this, just go ahead for me.” he crossed his arms, sitting next to Yui on the couch, observing everyone’s moves.

“Damn man, you don’t have to be a buzzkill. Hey, you! Take his turn.” Ayato barked at the bride sitting calmly in the corner, tugging at the bandages wrapped around her neck that bothered her. The pale skin ached from how tight Subaru tied it, also the constant tugging and readjusting he went through to get it just right. He gave up after the third try, huffing and tying it lazily.

“I don't play pool.”

The redheads face dropped in anger,

“Does anyone take this shit seriously anymore? You all are just afraid to get beat by Ore-Sama!” he groaned, placing the stick down before slumping down onto the cushion.

“Don’t get so worked up Ayato! Bitch-Chan has a lot on her mind, she’s practically scratching for someone to pay mind to her!”

Laito appeared next to the girl, leaning in close. His pearly whites shine in the dim lighting of the room. Warm puffs of air tickled against her cheek, causing her to flinch.

“Fufu..Subaru’s not here, just tell me and I’ll tend to your needs~ We all know Subaru doesn’t.”

“No, it’s okay—I'm good.” She waved her hands in front of her face, blushing at the suggestive offer. Laito had begun trying to make advances towards her, his bride seemingly disappearing into thin air after that night. She wasn’t bothered though, Subaru wouldn’t allow it really.

“Are you sure Bitch-Chan?” The smirk on his face widened, amused at her flustered response. She nodded her head quickly, becoming silent for a moment before blurting out.

“What does Debu and Gaijin mean..?”

Two of the triplets laughed out loud, the corner of Shuu’s mouth turned upwards.

“Damn Chichinashi! Where’d you learn those words?”

The bride’s eyes blinked in surprise and widened, blushing before looking down at her lap. fidgeting with the hem of her skirt,

“Awe Bitch-Chan, did someone call you that at school..?”

“I mean, yeah..”

Yui’s face became worried, swinging her legs slowly over the couch and plopping down on the couch next to the bride.

“I’m sorry they were so mean to you… It’s not true.”

“What? Can you just tell me what it means..?”

Yui and Laito gave each other a quick look, but turned their gaze back to the confused girl.

“If you won’t tell her I will!” Ayato exclaimed, “Debu means fat, and Gaijin means foreigner.”

“What!?” The bride stood up abruptly, stomping to the silver floor mirror and standing before it.

“Am I really… Fat?” Twirling 360 in the mirror observing all the curves and dips on her body, poking at her belly whilst sighing.

“You’re bigger than most girls Bitch-Chan~ You know, more area back there.”

She stared at him with an annoyed expression, lifting her arm up and looking over her shoulder.

“I mean I work out so does it really matter if I’m larger…? I’m not even large! I'm healthy so what does it matter!”

The two laughed again. Kanato finally spoke up after watching the scene unfold,

“Dolls are frail and skinny, not muscular like you.”

Teddy rested on his lap, facing the girl twirl in the mirror. Its eyes suddenly held so much judgment, she had to contain her fright towards the stuffed bear.

“I think you’re beautiful! It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as you’re healthy.”

Yui complimented, smiling nervously whilst clasping her hands together.

A loud creaking caught their attention, Subaru and Reiji walked in simultaneously.

“The fuck you standing there for?” Subaru questioned

“Someone at school called Chichinashi here a fatso!”

All three of the triplets bursted out into boisterous laughter, the girl's face dropped into a low frown. Reiji rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up before speaking.

“Whilst she may not be to our standards, I read in America they prioritize fitness and muscle training as opposed to striving for a lean structure here in this culture.” his eyes narrowed before speaking once again,

“I am glad I found you both are here, you and this lazy, good-for-nothing have something in common. I received word from your teacher that you were sleeping in class, now I also read in your file you were transferred here to seek advanced education, although I do not see how sleeping in class can be proof of that. Let me make this clear for you, I cannot have you sullying our name, so If I hear you are sleeping in class again, I will see to it that I punish you thoroughly.”

The triplets grew silent, giving each other looks trying their best to not snicker. Goosebumps grew on the girl's arms, her palms clammy from embarrassment.

“And you,” Reiji spat, awakening the blond sleeping vampire. Shuu cracked his eyes open, visibly annoyed that there was such a commotion surrounding him.

“It appears you are set to graduate this year. Although, I hardly believe you will make it through this semester before failing, like you always do.”

He smirked while crossing his arms, walking over to the couch and looking down on his older brother.

Everyone watched as the blond on the cushion sat up and swung his legs over the couch. Eyebrows furrowed downwards, his lips as well into a scowl.

“You just had to ruin the mood, like you always do.”

“Did I hit a nerve brother? Why don’t you lay down and sleep away the hours, something you’re familiar with?”

Shuu shot up off the couch, balling his fist,

“Playing the eldest doesn’t mark your title.”

Reiji’s smirk dropped, his shoulders tensed up but relaxed after realization the sets of eyes resting on his figure,

“I have done more for this household than your faltered brain could ever comprehend! Absolutely no one would miss you if you left—as a matter of fact, go ahead. Leave, see if anyone is this mansion bats a lash, go ahead and save the burden for the rest of—“

Reiji’s sentence was cut short by the sound of Shuu’s fist delivering a blow to his face. Contact between the two resulted in an immediate snap, blood spurring outwards on the ground, splattering on the black and white tile. Metal frames clinked against the floor, shattering the thin glass, scratching at the tile.

“If you want to carry on the name so desperately, for that man.. I’ll let you, this family means nothing to me.”

Yui’s face became sullen: If Shuu decided to leave, would he take her? He would be leaving her here to fend for herself with the other vampires available in the mansion, having that immunity meant she could last an eternity being tormented by these people—without an end in sight. For once, the girl didn’t feel a burning envy towards Yui. For once, she felt sorry, sorry and relieved that for once, she wasn’t being preyed upon.

Reiji sat on the floor, cradling his nose to stop the bleeding. His nose was bent, it wouldn’t be the perfect shape his father had gifted him with, Shuu had thoroughly deformed it with that one single hit, he also decided to leave with Yui while everyone watched as Reiji sat on the floor in disbelief, his eyes saucers racing with thought yet nothing could be said. The damage was done, he achieved the thing he wanted most, he was next in line.

“Tch. Let’s go,” Subaru whispered to the girl, pulling her away from the crime scene. Her eyes lingered on the splattered mess on the floor, Reiji was looking for a rag to clean the mess up.

———-

February 21, 2004

“Don’t forget me. Okay?”

The girls intertwined hands, staring at eachother one last time. Shuu had decided to bring Yui along after all. Everything was booked last night to ensure their departure,

“Where are you going..?”

“I don’t know, Shuu said somewhere far away.”

The girl squeezed Yui into a tight embrace, frowning with tears stinging at the whites of her eyes. Petting the blondes hair slowly,

“Please be safe Yui,” Her voice cracked with soft lips trembling, pulling away eventually. The driver slammed the trunk shut,

“I’m ready when you all are,” Said the driver, opening the limousine door. Shuu put his hand on Yui’s shoulder and looked down at her.

“I don’t want to be here a second longer,”

The girl walked next to Subaru. His eyes hard with unreadable emotion, watching as the blondes boarded, finally escaping. Triplets watched as well the sudden pause Shuu took before fully entering the limousine, his eyes softening observing the household he lived in all those years. Yui’s small hand waving an eternal goodbye to the inhabitants of the house, smiling with no worry. She was free. The door slammed behind them, simultaneously when the limousine began driving away. Subaru’s head following along the shrinking image.

“There goes our eldest, maybe we’ll lose another.”

Laito said, turning on his heels before walking inside. Other two triplets followed close after.

Her fingers turned blue from how long the two stood there, listening to the cold wind howl and prickle at their pale skin. Huddled together with their arms intertwined,

“May be time for us to go,” She pulled away from the albino, clasping her hands together before walking into the mansion as well.

Shuu’s words appeared in his mind, turning his head to see Reiji's figure in the window peering out into the darkness,

“Maybe,”.

[becomedog]

"there's a genocide going on and no one cares" "there's no humanity on earth anymore" "everyone is ignoring palestinian suffering" "humankind has no empathy at all"

i truly get seeing everything going on and feeling deep, unfathomable despair. especially if you are palestinian, jewish, etc- i'm not here to 'well actually' how anyone feels in the face of truly horrific suffering.

but please look around and see those kinds of statements are not true.

we have seen a multitude of massive, worldwide protests. some are record breaking for their cities or countries. we've seen a torrent of people coordinating actions, withholding labor, calling their representatives, holding mourning services across disparate religious communities. these are ongoing. many have been going for long before you or i were born. i don't know how to adequately express how correct it is that a lot of people care.

i see this all the time with climate change too. please speak on who you mean! who? who has the most power to do something, and isn't? who is contributing to the suffering? who is ignoring people screaming for help? saying "humans" when you mean politicians, governments, corporations, etc- it just helps them elude responsibility.

we do not need doomerism. we need hope, love, joy, and action. if the problem is that Humans Don't Care, well all my efforts are kind of worthless as a human myself, and it's against my nature to care. if the issue is our government representatives are ignoring our voices, ignoring suffering, then we can and need to do things about that! every life that is saved is precious.

it should go without saying, but this also ignores the people in gaza who are trying to help- some are doctors, parents, journalists, cousins, random strangers- they all care and are working to help in some of the worst conditions imaginable.

we need to help each other. we are worth helping.

mr. rogers often told this story about when he would see scary things on the news as a child: "my mother would say to me, 'look for the helpers. you will always find people who are helping.' to this day, especially in times of disaster, i remember my mother's words, and i am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers- so many caring people in this world."

[haven-is-happy]

How Battle Changes: Don't Eat That!

Chapter 7

Pairing: Dogma x Jedi!reader, platonic Wolfpack,

Chapter description: A politician's dinner is rarely without consequences

Warnings: !!!unhealthy eating habits!!!, reader has very little mental health stability, angst, reader is at their breaking point

Wordcount: 2,3 k

Masterlist

Somewhere along the line, your statements went from “mildly controversial” to “assassination worthy”.

You’re not sure when exactly that happened. You don’t care. It just means you are focusing on the right thing, pissing off the people who should be exposed the most. 

The thought should be frightening.

Key word: should.

“It’s times like these that I think about my parents. My birth parents, not the parental figures of the caretakers and creche masters at the Jedi Temple. Are they still alive? Was I welcome in their family? Did they wait with bated breath until a child came, tears of joy when I first screamed my lungs out to signal I am breathing and healthy and then reluctantly given with tears to the Jedi? Or was I an intrusion, an accident, an inconvenience they gave away with a sigh of relief?” 

Another scripted speech. You poured your heart out during the nights between senate meetings, because the tears that filled your eyes when you allowed yourself to ask these questions are unbecoming of a public representative.

You basically threatened your way into the senate as a representative of the clones and jedi who wish to leave the rigidity of the places they were raised in. Threatened, not elected.

You bought your presence in the chamber by keeping silent about the carnage Krell was allowed to go on, even before Umbara, keeping silent about the Senate's knowledge about the Malevolence, long before it was discovered by your former master Plo.

No tears. No weaknesses. They will tear you apart.

And so the speech continues as you swallow the most likely answer. It burns on the way down. It might burn on the way back up after you permit yourself to throw it up from stress in the “comfort” of your home.

You’ve researched. You know the sector where you most likely came from, now deep in Separatist territory, being the place of several battles at the start of the War.

“I may never know, as the Jedi Master who brought me to the temple is dead. She died on Geonosis and took dozens of secret parentages of padawans, knights and younglings to her grave. At her pyre I cried for the small child not yet outside their cradle that might never know if those that bore them love them.”

You take a steadying breath. Those wonders have long since passed.

“Perhaps it is better not knowing.”

The Senate is deadly silent to your face, but you know there are mute conversations happening in hand signals across the expansive chamber. Their auras betray even the slightest change of emotions. The colours shift and bleed into another as information is passed.

Seems like they have forgotten you can read them better than an open book.

“I know how many of you feel,” you keep a second-too-long break between the words with an emphasis, “about the Order’s practices around recruiting. The truth is the parents get a choice, having both options explained clearly as day. Give the child away so it may prosper as a part of the Order, with the promise that one day the child will be given a way to contact them, or keep the child and face the difficulties of a force-sensitive toddler reigning chaos.”

Expertly, the diplomatic skill taught at the temple made you slot a joke after threatening your audience in not-so-subtle ways. The clueless laugh. The knowing shudder.

You do not want to be seen as cruel. 

But if you aren’t, it leaves room for argument.

Next to you, Dogma checks his comm. 

The several months of being your guard didn’t change his face one bit. The v-shaped pattern fits well on his face, accentuated by the widow's peak he keeps his hair in. His eyes scan each individual senate-pod in his field of vision, then flick over to you. You have to remind yourself you’re in the force-damned Senate chamber in front of thousands of influential people to stop yourself from lovingly brushing a hand over his cheek.

His armour has been repainted in vibrant colours. The helmet is forgone entirely to show him being proud of being a clone. Jesse next to him is an even more stark reminder, with the republic cog tattooed onto his face.

The tactic is genius. You’ll have to thank Fives for coming up with that.

“The truth is, the vague feeling of my birth parents is no longer even a memory. Can one miss a vague shape in the back of your mind? When you can’t articulate yourself in childhood, maybe, but as an adult, it is but a shape you will gradually forget with age.”

“Clones, however, never had that shape. Many of us have a warm feeling as the first memory of our parents. Being held, coddled and even loved. But the clones didn’t get that luxury. Forgive me for being a cynic, but if you have a problem with the Order’s practices of child-kidnapping - as I heard many put it - why are you not fighting for the clones to have an equal privilege to childhood?”

Your voice rings powerful and accusatory through the full auditorium. You sweep your eyes over the people at your eye level and below, before solidly locking them where Bail Organa stands in his senator-pod. He sends a nod.

Dogma next to you makes a very quiet sound, pitched low just enough for you and only you to hear. He clicks his tongue once, then pauses, and then clicks again.

A signal for news from the Wolfpack. Thank the Force your speech and time at the proverbial stand is coming to an end.

The entire interaction takes no more than three seconds. An uncomfortable silence to marinate most careless Senators in the implications you’ve made.

“My childhood was cut short after the hostilities on Naboo. I had to undergo more rigorous saber training, even as an empath, someone attuned to the living Force around us. A shadow warrior - a Sith of a lineage long-lost - stole any ability to live as a simple aura reader diplomat.”

“And yet that’s not even a fraction of the cruelty and hardship an average clone trooper goes through in a third of the time. As soon as they walk, they are taught combat. They rapidly age, Corellian Hells, THE OLDEST CLONES ARE THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!”

Your frustration poured out into the air around you. This is the closest you have gotten to yelling and losing your cool since you walked out of the Court Chamber at Dogma’s trial. You have no doubt that at least some of the senators or their aides must have a fraction of force sensitivity, at least enough to glimpse the carefully-masked rage you don’t let the average person see.

You lock eyes with the Chancellor on his high seat, the senator-pod that hovers in the centre of the chamber.

You stare at him with intensity unknown to an individual outside of the Jedi Order. Memories flick through your vision, a slideshow of your frustrations at the Senate, frustration shared by the Jedi Council, by your father Plo, by the Clones that have welcomed you into their dysfunctional humongous family.

The Chancellor smiles.

The dinner after resembles a blur of colours too bright to be real.

You barely eat. The worry of poison and backstabbing are ever present, loom over your figure like a mountain. You prod at the force to give you readings of everyone around you, even if they are in your eyesight for a fraction of a second. 

The auras are overwhelming. Despite diplomats being taught to never let emotion show on their face, the different hues bleed into their body language.

One can only hide their true nature for so long, you suppose.

You’re sitting at the head of the table for dinner, the centre of attention as usual. As the minutes tick by, it’s become more and more likely that this will not end well. The jabs and replies thrown at one another have a sickly-sweet tone, with oleander-filled honey dripping as they fly at their target. 

 Dogma and Jesse stand behind you, each on one side as your guards. No matter how many times you try to convince them to eat with you, they insist.

“The life of a senator isn’t for me, but I still want to keep you safe” has been the reply from Jesse each time. Fives is just glad you never asked him, letting him instead stay at your apartment for these drab meetings disguised as dinners.

And your sweet Dogma would follow you to the ends of the Galaxy.

“I suppose if the children had more contact with their parents after getting accepted into the order, they would be able to form healthy attachments, as opposed to having no attachments altogether,” you say to a Nautolan representative sitting half across the table. 

She narrows her eyes and nods, pausing to eat a bite out of her meal. “A friend of mine lost her son to the Jedi three decades ago. She still wonders why he never contacted her.”

Dogma searches in his memory. The only nautolan jedi he has heard of is Kit Fisto. It would perhaps fit the description of a son lost thirty years ago. He stores it as something to ask you about.

A mikkian senator sitting to your left looks over at your plate. The longer the supper goes on, the more apparent it is that you are not touching your food. The senator, some generation or two older than you, looks you over a bit before lowering his voice, so that only you and (unintentionally) Dogma can make out his words.

“Deary, you have not touched your meal. I sure do hope this affair has not sullied your appetite.” He adds a smile at the end of his statement, as if to deepen the few wrinkles his face has to make himself the caring older relative.

Your attention snaps to his face briefly, enough to not notice one of his head-tendrils outside your field of vision to twitch in the general direction of your plate. Had Dogma not been inadvertently alerted to his figure, he wouldn’t have noticed the tiny amount of clear, water-like liquid that flew off the tip of his head-tendril and landed at the edge of your plate.

He reacts before his brain catches up to his eyes.

“Don’t eat that!”

His yell makes the entire table stop whatever they are doing to look at him. 

“The food is poisoned!”

His aura flashes red with swirls of white. The mix of danger.

Jesse sweeps the room over in less than a millisecond and directs his gaze at your food. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, but he trusts his brother with your safety above all. He takes a half-step closer towards the table.

You strategically stand up slowly and turn to Dogma. “How do you know?”

“The mikkian senator flicked some liquid into it with his head-tendril.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the whole room shift. Colours turn muted and tinged with yellow, orange and black.

The aura of the person in question turns a stark black. Fear.

“Impossible! I have done no such thing, clone!” he barks out and gets to his feet abruptly, nearly throwing his chair back.

Jesse, who has so far been stone-cold, willing to not react unless necessary, calmly looks him boldly in his eyes, an act that would have had consequences if he was in the GAR.

“You should know that ambassador (Y/N) can tell if you’re lying,” his tone is even and calculated.

“Of course I know that! That’s because I’m not lying.”

The old man is adamant, even if his eyes widen a fraction.

Your eyes flick over the room and land on a tray in the corner, on a table reserved for decorational flowers.

The tray floats over as the uncomfortable silence settles over the room. Some of the dinner’s participants notice it and gasp, making the others stare in horror as the tray lands in front of you.

You vaguely feel the presence of three Coruscant Guards running down the hall. By the time you land a metal food cover over the plate, they slam the door of the dining room open. 

Jesse and Dogma exchange a nod and Dogma nods. Jesse walks out to meet one of the troopers to exchange words.  You barely hear the words they whisper, but “poison” and “food” must be at least a part of the conversation. Dogma stays right behind you with a hand on his blaster. You don’t even have to turn to feel his anxiousness.

On instinct, you reach out with the hand that isn’t holding the tray in the air to grip the senator by the wrist with the Force. You press harder and hear something drop to the floor, an item no longer held in an iron grip he had on it. The noises of protests fall upon your deaf ears.

A guard moves in to handcuff the old man, only to notice a blaster on the floor and feel resistance while he moves one of the wrists into the cuffs. The item he dropped.

Jesse, now returning to you, plucks the tray out of the air to bring it back to one of the clones.

You let go of the Force and feel a massive weight of exhaustion hit you. Tilting your hand back just a couple of centimetres is enough for Dogma to grip it tightly with the palm not on his weapon.

You look at the Coruscant Guard talking to Jesse. His aura is full of baby blue and camo green. Confusion and worry.

“Please, take the food with the plate for analysis. Don’t touch it or take it out of the cover unless you are in safe distance. I don’t know what it is,” you say slowly. The words coming out of you feel foreign and you have to push them out, too exhausted to expend any emotions into the tone.

Dogma squeezes your hand three times. An “I love you” for when you can’t speak.

When you leave the dinner behind and get into your personal speeder, you pass out from exhaustion.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[dimonds456]

Also are you doing okay?

I think so. I've got a therapist, and supportive friends. I'm slowly becoming more and more financially stable. One of my disabilities is going away, one I thought would be with me for life! I've even got a top surgery letter now, and we're working on getting a consultation with a surgeon!

But I'm also realizing how fucked everything is. Sorry, I kinda vented to you, but it's below the cut so you don't have to read it. Just, overall, I think I'm doing okay. I know I'll be alright. But fuck man it's hard to believe it sometimes, lmao.

I'm just also coming to realize how fucked up my childhood actually was. How fucked up the whole world is. How one person can singlehandedly make your life hell, and that just deciding to get away from them isn't enough.

It's been hard. On a personal level, I've been dealing with borderline abuse for the better part of 3 years, since I finally moved into my own apartment; once online, and twice IRL now. It's been every form of abuse except physical and sexual, but even then, I still felt physically unsafe around one of my abusers. Like he could have hurt me if he stayed around much longer.

The most latest example of it was my ex roommate, who had to be moved out of our place because of his screaming at us, throwing things, extreme beliefs, and illegal things like stealing money. And he still lives in this building, too, just not with us anymore. The new people who have to deal with him now actually just contacted us to ask us how tf we got rid of him, aha.

But even aside from that, on a more broad level, I've come to realize my own learned helplessness (the clinical term), trauma, and am struggling to come to terms with how true a lot of that stuff is.

I am helpless when it comes to ending an overseas "war" that I don't really have any stakes in anyway, aside from a moral one. I don't have family in Gaza, I don't know anyone there, but that shouldn't matter, y'know? It's still terrible, and I still can't help anyone there. No matter how loud we scream, the politicians are doing everything they can to drag their feet and are trying to get Israel to end it as fast as possible so people will just shut up about it already. They know we know, too, and are just trying to save face and it pisses me off. But what can I do about it? Not a whole lot!

I'm helpless when it comes to getting my family's acceptance of my own identity, or the constant misgendering at work, or the sexual harassment I keep getting from customers. Like, just today, two different guys offered to get me a pop or something, and my first instinct WASN'T to be like "oh thank you!" Instead, I raised my hackles in a "why are you being nice to me" way. That's not normal. It's a learned behavior and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm helpless to help my friend, who lives in an actively abusive household here in the States. Not mine, but within a day's drive of here if I got up early. We've called CPS, the cops, I've compiled a HUGE Google Doc of all the evidence we could find, I'm in touch with their sibling, I've straight-up TALKED to their abusive father (which was terrifying holy shit), and still NOTHING has changed. I think we're just gonna have to wait until they're old enough to move out, which fucking sucks.

I'm helpless to even help myself a lot of the time. My abusive relationships in the past have killed a lot of my creativity, energy, and overall positivity. I don't know if I'll ever really get it back.

But I'm doing what I can. I'm standing up for what's right in any way I can, I'm keeping tabs on my friend, I'm educating myself and diving into history, I'm trying to point my parents in the right directions, I'm trying to help my sibling from a distance, anything I can. I just feel like it isn't enough, y'know?

On the whole, I'm doing alright. And I'll be okay. But those bad days be hitting, lol.

[witchexia]

Sometimes, being a demon isn't always a bad thing.

(CYNTHIA OC LORE) Just like anyone, Cynthia Blake, born 31st October 1989, a Satanist, was a regular human. In her human lifetime, she was mostly introverted and didn't have as many friends. She has aspired to become a politician: because politics were her thing, and she wanted to follow in her dad's steps. She wanted to influence the politics that impact the society in a positive way and to help people. Then, she did, indeed, grow up to become a politican.

But, something strange kept happening. She couldn't focus on any of her meetings, on any of that paperwork she often works on, because of a strange feeling. The feeling could be described as like, a sixth sense. She kept noticing coincidences, like signs from the universe. Then, the feelings were often accompanied with flashes of red color in the corner of her eyes, and seeing shadowy figures? These feelings opened something new in her, like a new third eye.. With these new feelings that have started in her, she got into witchcraft. Though, magic comes with a price..

One night, on her off day from work, walking home in a new, different route, she sees something in the distance. A light orb? She runs after it, and the orb leads her to the woods. As she gets to the destination, she can't see the orb anymore, but something feels off.. She looks down, where she's standing, and she realizes she's standing in some sort of circle. It didn't take a while for her to realize, that the circle seems to be glowing a red hue. She looked around, panicking, seeing sigils on the trees, feeling like floating on a cloud. Just what was happening to her? As she's ready to flee, the circle bursts into flames, trapping her in a flame circle. Before even having a chance to scream, everything goes black.

Then, she awakens, lying in the extinguished circle, which now has strange symbol on it.. But, she doesn't know where she even is. It's the same forest, but something is terribly off. The sky looks strange, the woods are different, but she feels like she's comfortable? But, right before taking a step forwards to explore, her body feels strange. Her eyes hurt, and she feels something on her head. She reaches out to touch her head, only to realise that there are.... horns..? Then, she looks at her hands, her nails dark, her skin a fierce red. Before she even has another chance to panic, she feels a hand on her shoulder.

''Ave, Cynthia.'' A deep, somewhat familiar voice spoke. ''W-wh.. Where AM I?!?'' said Cynthia, panicking slightly. She still couldn't shake off that feeling of comfort though, like she was meant to be here, like the universe guided her here. ''In the Crossroads.'' said the voice. Cynthia did not dare to turn back around. ''Be not afraid, for you have an option to return to the mortal realm or go to the Realm deep in the dark woods, helping other mortals on their journey to the Realm, or to guide the lost spirits who are searching for the path to the Realm aswell. The choice is yours, Cynthia.'' Cynthia thought about it. She was possibly gonna make a deal with some sort of entity she doesn't know, she doesn't even have an idea what she's getting into. But, she really felt like this was her home now, like an instinct. She felt free in this new universe. ''I-I would like to re-main here..'' she said. ''Very well.'' the entity spoke, then walked towards her. She finally took a good look at the entity. It's face was blurry, but a faint outline of horns and ears could be seen. She noticed something, though. The entity's hand was glowing a nice, soft purple. Then, the entity reached out to her forehead, applying pressure on the space between her eyebrows. After a few seconds, she feels.. at peace. Her eyes are now glowing yellow, patterns adorning her body.

''Go on, my child, to the Realm. Your duty now, is to help mortals with their spiritual troubles. I shall be overseeing your brand new journey, Cynthia Ignis Blake.'' With that, Cynthia felt like an energy current was pushing her deeper to the woods. She closed her eyes, feeling the energy in her, like a cool gust on a warm day. She felt at peace in this new world, like she was meant here. She doesn't think about her past life anymore, about the stressful politics and the horrific political situation of the world, but now she thinks of this Realm. Her new home, even as a demon. But, she doesn't mean harm in this new form of hers.

[mrsjavierp]

Where You Belong?

Chapter 6 - Can't Remember to Forget You

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: I'd love to know about you're thinking about it so far! Your opinion is really important! Tks <3 Btw, I'm tagging @pedrostories! Babe, let's show'em why we're so much in love for that man!

Obs: I tried to make a past x present situation, so, anytime you see something written like this, is present. If not, it's just Javi's memory about the night he won't (and can't) forget.

*

Narrator's POV:

"My title might be ambassador, but that's some bullshit politician's word. I know what it means to be on the front lines." - Crosby started.

The ambassador's words were just a sound in the conference room, because Javier's mind was far way, on days before, when he fucked you so hard, for so many hours, until morning...

That damn raining morning, he woke up alone, in his bed, only your forgotten panties left behind.

After Javier let you sit on his face, you went back to the apartment complex, to fuck the way both needed.

Truth be told, you didn't agree on your place, since you didn't want to keep reminding...

In vain, of course.

Your mind was always playing tricks on both of you: showing images of what happened.

Javier looked at you as an art piece, a perfect sculpture under his touch. You melted under him, you actually would let him do all and then some.

Oh, and he did… That was just the opening show.

"And everybody here in this room wants the same thing: to take down Escobar... Now, as a veteran of numerous conflicts, I learned one immutable truth:..." - Crosby continued.

Arriving at Javi's, it was nothing like you expected: as a matter of fact, was clean, organized, not even the rest of his cigarettes' were at its astray.

He couldn't look away, because he couldn't believe that he got into bed with you, his guilty desire, his hidden fantasy.

He undressed you again, hypnotized, as if he wanted to memorize every inch of your skin.

His hands were slow and steady on you.

He sat you down on his sofa, at first, opening your legs again.

"Are you gonna eat me again, Javier?" - you asked, as if you had any power over him. You didn't know, but you were in charge.

Well, mostly in charge.

"I am, cariño. I already miss your pretty little pussy wetting my face... You taste like fucking candy." - he responded, as his fingers touched your lips, avoiding your throbbing clitoris on porpuse. - "I wanna make you scream my name."

You moaned as he buried his face between your legs, licking as a thirsty man.

"The only way to be successful is by working together, by communicating, by sharing intelligence and collaborating. Understood?"

Javier was shaky. The moment to remember how it all started wasn’t that… 

You come undone again and again and one more time after that.

He made you squirt... You thought only your vibrator could do that.

"I probably ruined your sofa, Javi..."

"I don't care, cariño." - he responded, as one of his hands caressed your cheek and the other massaged your pussy, softly.

Javier was still fully dressed and the collar of his shirt was wet.

You squirted so hard it dripped to his neck.

"Javi, please... Let me touch you too." - you begged.

He took his hands off and got up while you were trying to catch your breath. Javier was deciding if you're going to be fucked on the sofa or on his bed...

Until Javier picked you up in his arms and took you to his room. You held him just like that day in the pool.

"Just to be formal, this is Y/N Y/LN, the DEA country attaché. She'll remain to take over all DEA operations in-country. Y/LN?"

He lay you on the bed, softly. His sheets were cold, probably from the breeze coming from the window... It will be raining soon.

Javier took off his clothes, as you sat down and looked at him too.

He was such a handsome man, with a beautiful body.

And, also, a big beautiful dick. Thick and hard... His head was already dripping precum.

Your mouth was watering to suck it. His cock throbbed as your hand went in his direction.

"Can I, Javi?" - I asked.

"Can you what, cariño? I need you to be crystal clear."

"Can I suck your dick, Javi?" - your voice barely came out.

"Yes, cariño. Please, show me how you're thankful to your obedient soldier." - he responded.

You could feel the arrogance in his tone... But you were too much athirst for it. In your fantasies, you came while doing a blowjob.

"Thank you, ambassador. The DEA will be opening field offices in Cali, Cartagena and Barranquilla. As far as the Medellín team is concerned, we will continue to be housed out of CNP headquarters until further notice. But only after some personnel changes have been made."

At that moment, he hated your voice. He hated how you could act like nothing happened... But it did! He wasn't crazy... He missed you so badly.

He even missed hearing you coming next door...

You never sucked someone so hard. His hands held your hair, getting it out of the way for you.

Your tongue licking in a way he never felt so wanted. His veins were bulging. He even invaded your throat a little, but you didn't even gasp.

Javier noticed and would use it later...

"F-fuck, cariño... Such a good girl for me. "

A few moments after, he begged:

"Cariño, stop. Please. I need to be inside of you."

You obey, this time. You needed Javier too...

"All right, now as far as long-term intelligence is concerned, that's under the purview of the CIA, the station chief, Bill Stechner. Bill, you have anything you'd like to add?"

"I'm good."

He positioned on your entrance, his dick aching.

"Look at me, cariño. Look at me as I get in for the first time."

His eyes locked on yours. You weren't able to look away.

He shoved his dick inside of you, inch by inch, until he was all in... Literally.

"Cariño, you're so tight, so wet... O-o-oh fuck..."

"All right, who's here from Centra Spike?"

"Sir, I am. Edward Jacoby."

"All right, let's get Centra Spike back in the air immediately. I want to know every word these assholes say and all the information flows through me and I will disseminate as I see fit." 

You moan, resistant to say his name. You don't want to give this kind of power to Javier.

And he knows it and he'll push it until you say.

Javier took his dick out suddenly, flipped you, so your belly could touch the mattress, and got on top of you again.

His big body covered yours, his skin was just as hot as yours. His hand fondles your back, chilling you. You shivered.

"You can say my name again, cariño, you know, right?" - he pushed inside of you again. - "Don't make me be mean when I know you can be such a good girl."

"Yes, sir." - Jacoby responded.

Your pussy clenched around him, you moaned badly… You could feel his prase in your gut.

"Oh, fuck, cariño..."- Javier held your waist. - "I know you can be louder. Go ahead, show me." - he kissed your neck, leaving a mark.

Pendejo, you thought.

"Oh God, Javier, are you trying to kill me?" -

You finally managed to respond. - "I'm going to come, oh fuck!"

He pulled your hair, turning your face to him, but your eyes were closed.

"Open your eyes, cariño... I'll let you come as long as you look at me."

You open your eyes and then practically scream his name. You can feel his cock throbbing inside.

"Where do you want me, cariño?"

"I-i-inside, Javi..."

You both shared an orgasm as he held your hair to look at your face.

Javier Peña could swear that nothing was prettier than seeing you come.

The prettiest thing he ever saw in his entire life.

You sighted and he still held you close. He'd never let you go again.

"Oh, Javi... I can't believe it happened..." - You confessed, with your eyes closed. You couldn't look at him just yet.

"Look at me, preciosa."

"I can't. I'll wake up and you won't be here." - your voice was low, in pain.

"Please, look at me." - slowly, you opened your eyes. Your fantasy came true. Javier smiled.

Javier and you shared an intimate glance.

Oh fuck...

"When Escobar sticks his fucking head out, we're gonna nail that son of a bitch. Dismissed all."

*

Finishing the meeting, you and Javier leave the embassy at the same, talking about Steve:

"What about him? Other than the fact that he wasn't here today, Peña?"

"Well, I suggested that he stay home. You mentioned making some changes... What exactly does that mean?"

You look at him, without any emotion:

"It means I'm making some changes."

"You know Murphy is a good agent. He's done a lot of good work down here."

You rolled your eyes.

"Yeah! I know!" - you said, pissed. You took a file out of your briefcase and showed it to Javier. - "Looks like he almost threw it all out the window."

Javier examined the papers showing Steve in a mugshot and the police report. He took a deep breath, without an answer.

"Do you have any idea the strings that were pulled to get that Wall Street pendejo not to press charges?"

"Sounds to me like the guy would've had a dog sniffing up his ass before he got on the plane... Maybe Steve did him a favor." - his hands were on his waist, his foot tapping and his tone was condescending.

You snorted.

"Was that a 'thank you'? Be straight to me, Peña, and I'll be straight with you. I don't need Steve... Not like that. You know it."

Another breath taken.

"Cariño..."

"No, Peña. Y/LN or jefe."

"We've been here longer than you, you've been down here like... Two hours?"

You chose to ignore the offense.

"It may not make the front page, but you know Steve and all he has done. He's a good man. He's going through some shit right now... You know he was at the airport to try to stop Connie and Olivia from leaving to Miami. He didn't make it... Add that to watching Escobar build a 5 star prison and making the colombian army look like a joke, by walking out the back door."

You both shared a look. His puppy brown eyes were begging, you could feel it. Begging for what, was the question.

"We all deserve to see this through... Jefe."

You just left him. Again.

You had a lot to do with the changes and new offices.

Next

[nappingpaperclip]

idk it rlly gets to me sometimes to be told that I like don’t get it/don’t care about trans youth or whatever whenever I am vocally critical of democrat politicians cause. idk I AM trans youth, I struggle a lot and get treated like shit a lot for it, by politicians and people who should care about me and idk, have y’all ever been kicked out as a teenager and had to call the only adults who support you to come pick you up as a lonely suicidal trans kid? have you ever had to walk home from pride cause you can’t call your parents? ever been outed to your parents against your will and without your knowledge? cause I have and it rlly sucks. having my own experiences and rights used against me, as a token to silence me and others is rlly frustrating and upsetting. It was so lonely being a trans teenager and I spent a lot of time trying to connect with other lgbt+ people but especially younger trans people at my high school (lowerclassmen at the time) when I was a teenager cause I knew how lonely it was growing up with no one to see you for who you are.

People talk down on me for speaking out against politicians who have done nothing to secure my safety or rights, my right to exist because it is “too controversial,” ever since I was a child, and things are somehow even worse now… like I don’t live in the south, like I don’t see the obituaries of murdered trans people on my social media every day, like I don’t see tv ads from local politicians insulting eachother via support for people like me aka “letting men in girls bathrooms” and like I don’t have to see signs around local places bathrooms that say transphobic stuff. like I somehow don’t get it even though *I* don’t feel safe or comfortable no matter which bathroom I’m in, like I don’t have evangelical conservative “”redneck”” family members who would pop a blood vessel in their face if they saw what I look like now, like I don’t get called slurs by strangers or experience crazy micro aggressions in public & at work, like I didn’t have the experiences of being one of the literal handful of openly queer people in my southern public school.

Do you guys even know what it’s like for trans people in the south?? do you know how often trans kids get assaulted in bathrooms at school? it’s so fucking scary to hear from my friends from Florida, to hear them talk about how their friends got assaulted in their high school bathrooms, to hear about the crazy shit their teachers and classmates and politicians said….

idk. y’all don’t know me. You don’t know my story, you don’t know how hard I’ve fought just to be here. I don’t rlly have a point, I just wish people would stop saying stuff like that in my replies. I can take getting screamed at and flipped off irl but this type of stuff is worse and for some reason it rlly gets to me.

I know it’s the internet and ppl are going to be cruel but sometimes it makes me feel very isolated from my community and it drives me crazy because like, damn what about me? Am I not the trans youth too?? am I not included in that, are my opinions thoughts and experiences not important just cause I’m loud abt my opinions in a way u disagree with…??

[motherofblurbs]

I haven't always been proud of who I am.

I was, once upon a time, a product of my environment. An angry teenager looking to be accepted; therefore willing to maroon anyone just to make someone laugh.

A clueless shell of a person, who grew up in a town that would hold a nazi rally downtown mere months after I left the school system.

I was malleable, I was impressionable, I was in need of acceptance. My white peers used slurs in passing and so did I; for I had no better knowledge.

I was scared and new to exploring my sexuality while condemning those who wore it proudly to hell; for I had no better examples.

My own father had told me if I ever ended up 'being gay' I would have to move out. I would never be allowed at family gatherings, because my queerness demoted me from family to scum.

Above all, my sexuality was contagious. The thought of it seeping into the bodies of my impressionable & innocent family seemed like an unnecessary disaster that I wanted to avoid. So I kept it to myself.

The same man who claimed to love me, who claimed the want to support me through it all, laughed in my face when I told him I thought I was depressed. In fact, he urged me to read the bible; because that was the solution and not therapy and certainly not medication.

Medication makes you weak, I learned. It means you are so heavily controlled by your emotions that you must take the easy way out. A pill to fix all of your problems? That's not real.

For many years, I rejected who I really was and mimicked the behavior of those I loved and trusted most.

I supported hateful ideals, cruel legislation and cheered when 'liberal' politicians lost their lead in the polls.

How could I not? Those who stroked my hair and assured me they would love me always, they told me there was no other way. This was the right way. This is what God intended.

Then in the light of my conscious growing legs and beginning it's first wobbly steps, I transformed. I was no longer my father's daughter, I was a rebel.

I was no longer the sweet and kind girl they had grown to know and love, I was a villain.

"How could I go to hell?" I thought. I wasn't a bad person. I was still kind and sweet, I just also loved women. That condemns me to hell?

Who I choose to spend the rest of my life with, takes away everything else I am made of. The heart, the emotions, the resilience, and the mind were all lost in the translation because of a simple bible verse.

To my family's horror, I didn't just stop at being gay. I also excluded certain words from my vocabulary.

Strange, something that seemed so minor to me, would become a major conflict in my interpersonal relationships at just sixteen years of age.

I was the constant talk at dinner, I was relentlessly pushed into a metaphorical corner for refusing to call fellow human beings degrading and offensive names.

"When did you become so sensitive?"

Fuck you, I'm not sensitive, I just care. I care about others, I care about what words matter even if they don't matter to me. I wanted to scream and toss the main course on the floor in retaliation.

Yet, I didn't want to feed the narrative, that I was now a warrior for all things 'politically correct'. So I did my best to take it on the chin. In hopes that one day, my family would simply see what I did.

Except, they didn't. That same hatred that was reserved for people outside of our family, was now directed at me.

My empathy kept growing in the opposite direction of my hometown. I was steadily heading to the point of no return, in more ways than one.

At the same time that my empathy grew for strangers, a resentment built for my loved ones.

How can you pride yourself in being loving, and reject your love for me, because of what I stand for?

Most of all, how dare you call yourself loving, when you are clearly so very hateful.

Then it all came full circle. All of those times that a slur slipped from my lips in ignorance, or all of those times I 'disagreed' with someone's 'lifestyle' had come back for my adolescence with a vengeance.

I was now the subject of hate from my house made of love.

But at least, now, I am proud.

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

“How? How can you be sure he isn’t tricking you?” Batman growled, voice barely kept below his version of a scream.

painfearnonotagainpleasefearnonopainfearfearfearfear

“How?” Jason bit back, “The same goddamn way I knew that Willis was a coward who beat up on his girlfriend and kid ‘cause it made him feel big but who whimpered like a dog at the first sign of danger. That Catherine’s friend Luci who came by every Saturday was in love with her loooong before she broke down on the couch watching Thelma and Lois. That Catherine loved me more than almost anything. I know the way I know every goddamn bastard I’ve ever put a bullet in was never, ever gonna change because, fuck, there's a difference between regret and not wanting to die. The way I know just how much Alfie adores us all and all the fucking anger he’s been harboring under since nine years old is still right there under Dick’s witch hazel-soaked skin! He just got fucking guilty about it! I know...”

The wind swept in strong from the east, blowing a steady stream of rain against his face. Fuck the old bastard, didn't even have the decency to confront him when he was in costume. No, he just landed on his fucking roof at fuck all at night. Now he was standing there in a weathered old teeshirt, plaid flannel pants, and a pair of knit socks gifted to him by the old woman next door, all of which were growing progressively soaked.

“I know the same way I knew that day when you grabbed me, that Batman wasn't some fucking Cryptic, he was a sad, lonely little man and, hell, maybe I was feeling kinda sad an’ lonely too. I thought maybe, just maybe you’d get me, but it turns out your just some fucked up billionaire, and me? I’m a useless freak who can’t even fucking die right.”

Nonononopleasehowhelpsorrysorryhelp?

“Jason...”

shockhurtshockconfusedhelp?hELP?

“But Danny... He’s... He’s something else. The first time I met him I was pissed and looking to get blackout drunk. He went out of his way to calm me down and cheer me up, even though he was absolutely miserable. He just... Gets it. He makes me feel like person in a way that I haven't since I clawed my way out of that fucking grave. He knows what it's like to feel like a freak; to feel so goddamn helpless and useless and alone.

“Yeah, he’s dangerous. So am I. Hell, so are you. But he chooses every. single. fucking. day to be kind, even when he’s hurting. Yeah, he’s a sarcastic, petty bastard. I probably couldn't stand him if he wasn't. That doesn't change that he’s experienced the absolute worst humanity fucking offers at the hands of his parents and your buddies at the GiW and still only wants to keep everyone from the pain he’s suffered. I mean, the man’s been fucking vivisected! But he still wants to help; to be good for some godforsaken reason!

“You’re a genius, you can’t be a fucking idiot too. You know how to check for bias in fucking research. You know not to trust someone just ‘cause some fucking politicians got payed to think they’re a good idea. Danny doesn't deserve to be hunted like this. He’s just a person! Same as you or me or your stupid blue boy scout! Just...let this go. I know that phrase isn’t exactly one that fits through that tiny ass crack in your skull new ideas seep through, but please…

Let us feel like people together,”

A familiar clawed hand landed on Jason’s shoulder. He looked up, met not with a mask but the face of the man who had taken him in so long ago. He looked worn, exhausted in the way only those who’d seen far too much for their years could be.

SorrypleaseForgIvEmE “I’m sorry.” hUrtSorRypLEasesorry

Jason felt Bruce’s words more than he heard them, an overpowering rush of agony crashing into him like a hailstorm.

“I didn't mean... Didn't mean to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry.”

“……………………………………………………..The fuck…”

Jason had expected a lot. He had expected a fight, some overwrought, battle of will type bullshit. What he hadn’t expected, what he’d never expected since the first time he and Bruce had got in anything that could be considered a fight was for the old bastard to actually apologize. Hell, up until a few seconds ago Jason wasn’t sure it was even in his vocabulary. Suddenly he was enveloped in strong, armor-clad arms, the thick leather like material of a pitch black cape as warm and comforting as a worn childhood blanket.

“You don’t have a meta gene.” SorRoWgRieffaiLedfAiledhow

“Really,” he sopped tearily, “that’s what you’re gonna focus on here?”

“It’s true.”

(It’s all he could think to say)

Jason felt some small satisfaction in that he could at least give the single most irritating answer situationally possible.

“‘S not genetic, ‘s magic.”

“Hmrrr” whywhyfrustrationwhywhy

“Danny’s helping me with it.”

“Good.”

Now, if Jason hadn’t been expecting Bruce’s apology, it’s quite understandable that Bruce’s then proceeding to condone an unknown “helping” one of his children with something even remotely tasting of magic, especially something which had apparently been an ongoing issue hidden behind Bruce’s back which he still didn’t understand was almost enough to have Jason wondering if this was all a highly elaborate dream being used to trap him in his own subconscious. Still, Jason could smell Bruce’s cologne. It was something rich, probably from Dick and probably called something “deep bourbon dream”, not at all like the musty floral stuff he'd worn back when Jason could wear scaled shorts without a hint of irony.

( “It was my mother’s,”

“I found a bottle in her room before it was sealed shut. The smell always makes me feel safer; like she is still here to protect me when everything becomes too much. Don't know what I'll do when it runs out.”)

(An undersized boy, clinging tight to his father, his B, like a koala against the barrage of feelings pushing at his head. He’s safe here, in the dark, the smell of sweat and old perfume drowning the negative emotions he so easily forgets are not directed at him.)

“Look who needs to be checked for possible mental manipulation now.”

Jason tries for sarcastic but his words come out as soggy as his socks.

“Hmh,” he said, a soft grin poking the unwieldy corners of his face.

“Goddamnit I’m trying to be pissed at you right now.”

The two sat there for a long moment, both unwilling to be the first to break whatever fragile spell had tessered together the frayed corners of their relationship for them to have a moment like this. The rain was letting up. Heavy clouds held their breath at the seemingly impossible sight.

“‘Should probably go back in before I freeze off something important.”

Both stood. Bruce pulled his cowl back up in a clean motion and Jason made a feeble attempt to squeeze the rain out of his utterly soaked shirt. Still, he wiped it across his face, more or less clearing his vision and absolutely failing at playing off his reddened eye as yet another byproduct of the storm. Goddamn it, he hadn’t cried this much when he died. Then again that could just be because of the extreme heat and his stubborn refusal to cry in front of off-brand Crusty the Clown. Already Bats was halfway across the roof, the slick concrete meaningless in the wake of his decades of practice in getting the Hell outta dodge.

“Hey,” there was something fragile in Jason’s chest as he spoke, as if the wrong word could tumble out at any moment and break him, “Try not to die, ‘kay? It's not fun.”

Bats briefly paused, not even looking back as he nodded. Hesitationfearapreciationcarewhy?why?why? why?

“And tell Alfie to set an extra place for Sunday dinner!” Jason shouted, “‘Got someone special I’d like you all to meet!”

Empath

Jason Todd is an empath, something that probably no one would believe if they were told the story of Red Hood. It's not an ability he likes to brag about either, honestly, Jason hates it, as much as he hates being back from the dead, it makes him feel different, it makes him feel like he doesn't fit in.

It starts small, with a boy who feels his mother's pain and his father's rage. With a child who sees Batman and instead of a big scary bat feels layers and layers of sadness. It starts with Robin, feeling too much and wanting to change everything for the better.

He never tells Bruce, what good would it do? It's not a useful skill, sensing the Joker's madness didn't help to prevent his death. Feeling Bruce's despair wasn't enough to keep his eyes open.

It ends too quickly, too soon. Maybe for that reason he was given a second chance. One that Jason didn't want. Pit madness feels a thousand times stronger than it should, it pollutes his mind, it seeps into his heart and Jason hates it a little more every day.

Then, he meets Danny in a bar, full of smiles and biting comments but so so scared. He hears his silent pleas, his regrets, his desire to belong, to not be hated. And for the first time in a long time, Jason's heart breaks a little.

For the first time in a long time, the pits fall silent and give way to the confused feelings of the boy beside him.

Danny becomes part of the routine, Jason doesn't quite know how but the boy refuses to leave. He never asks about Red Hood, though the small flicker of doubt every time Jason leaves the apartment confirms that he knows. He never stops him, he just smiles and waits for him with a first aid kit under his arm, bandages his wounds and sleeps beside him.

Jason knows he is dangerous but can't help but love him as much as he can't help but feel the pain that accompanies the boy.

Then, his little home life is invaded by Bruce (worried, always worried, overly cautious), he warns him that Danny is a dangerous creature, warns him that he will hurt him. Jason can't help but snort.

Jason knows Danny isn't human, it's not something his ability tells him, it's just easy to deduce. But when Danny confesses it to him (scared, so so scared), he downplays it, tells him it's okay and he can go back to sleep. Danny doesn't fit into what's normal, but that's okay, he doesn't either.

[todayisafridaynight]

Tsuma is an INSANE one to start on but also a fantastic one... I think my first was SP so it's so funny we've "traded" those specific shows lmao BUT YEAH. YEAH. I BELIEVE YOU. I'M GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT KEISUKE BUT NOT ANYTIME SOON. Tsutsumi's Princess Peach lips every time Maida squishes his face 😭😭😭😭😭

The moment outside the school basically condenses everything about the show for me it's so perfect and cute but I'm INTERNALLY SCREAMING AT ALL OF THIS BEING SAID OUT LOUD... PLEASE... YOU'RE GOING TO END UP ANOTHER IMPRISONED TSUTSUMI... He really is SUCH a malewife though that's what destroyed me frame one... especially because he's really similar to how Tsutsumi talks about himself so like perfect casting I hope he had fun with the role... Definitely continuing when I can are you kiddinggggg

Well Hopefully You Still Think AtR's Cute And/Or Sweet Wherever You're At Now So The Rest Of This Isn't Embarrassing LGSKFJLGJ BUT YEAH... YEAH... I'm aro myself so all that's Complicated right, and definitely something I tried to consider when Sorta-Not-Really-Recommending, but it's good to hear it can be entertaining even without being able to relate :']

THAT COULD'VE GONE /WAY/ SOUTH AT THE PANEL but I'm glad everyone made it out unharmed😭😭😭BUT YEAH... at the end of the Ohashi arc when Ogata threw all his stuff off the desk and the gang just wordlessly put it back for him 'cause that's all they can do... ough. Momence. That's why it was so sick watching everything fall into place [temporarily]. Also appreciate the Jo-ism in doing all the dirty work for a politician in the family and wanting to be stopped without saying it upfront and uhhhhh being fine with dying and/or going to prison LMAO

OH BUT NO PROB it is always tradition for me to send the translated letter once I've indoctrinated someone new :] funny thing is every single version I've sent is different because I've been editing it to this day

AGAIN i chose tsuma cause the title was Utterly Insane and i just had to see for myself what the fuck was going on and im so glad i did... funny that we did trade first-watches (and fun that i get 'my own version' of ogata's letter lmao) :)

BUT YEAHYEAH keisuke's adorable.. like genuinely i think he's tsutsumi's cutest role ive seen so far its hard for me to imagine one topping it in regards to how endearing he is (❁´◡`❁) keisuke being so enamored by his wife but being So Blind To How Things Look is genuinely super funny. like poor guy really is just super happy to have his wife back in a way but not yk (╯▽╰;;; )

Horribly i think of okita from that Taboo movie when it comes to consuming media: even if i dont personally have that experience or understand 100%, i can still appreciate a good story and characters (im paraphrasing SO hard and with less homophobia </3), so if you got anythin good throw it my way anytime ♪(´▽｀) !! i'm about to start episode eight in a bit but NO WORRIES i still very much am a fan of the show !! and im sad/excited to see im almost done with it ( sad its almost over, but also SUPER interested to see how everything comes together in the end (☆▽☆) )

[radiotoradz]

February 25th

No, she is not who you think she is. The name was far more popular than you expected. Also, when I write this is Bulgaria's 49th government election day. I voted. So, here is how I see life back in the first years of change (after 1989). Since I know a good deal of information about it.

Maybe someone will see left hints or dedications here and there...Good for you.

The thing is filled with drunk insults and beating.

Please be sure to proceed with caution.

*imagine here is a whole birthday divorce arc, guys. I am lazy writing it twice.*

— Motherfucking politicians! Look at them. Promises aplenty, but nothing is done! I wish to shoot them all off with the AK from the military. That's all they deserve. They will fuck up the next generations to come!

— Shut up! You will wake up the kid, idiot!

— Ugh, fine. I was there last year. Reporting people. And now!? I have to feed 3 mouths, with mine - 4. And to work on 3 places at the same time. This is a nightmare I will never wake up from.

— Now is not the time to complain. Did you even vote?

— Who gives a fuck about that, Petya!

— I do...but...actually, I don't.

The following silence from her husband's side frustrated Petya. Mother of two, her situation was not good either. She also wanted to work, leaving her two children at kindergarten and daycare, but her husband did not allow her to. Before they had their second son, both were voting together. But now, something was different. This was not the same guy she met at university.

The man switched off the television, attempting not to look even more pissed off at the empty-headed people that must be shot. He went to the kitchen and got himself a beer, then to the balcony to smoke.

It was a rare occasion. He - at home, sans responsibilities, having time to kill. That worried him. One of his jobs was at a newspaper, writing and editing news, but no one called him today. The other job was during a whole different season of the year.

— Why did you not take the kids out today? — no response. — I am asking you something! Are you even listening to me?! Hey!

— WHAT!

— I asked you something.

— Is it about voting again? I told you not to bother me.

— You did not tell me such a — she sighed in frustration — and it is about the children. Do you care for them at all? I wanted you to take them on a walk, buy them a toy, feed them...I don't know, I wanted you to care! All you did was scream at the television today and you woke the little one up! How could you!? — the teary eyes and red face made her sullen but she wanted to continue this argument.

— Ah, stubborn like always. Look, if I didn't care...then why would I still be in this hellhole?

— THIS IS A HELLHOLE!? ALL I DO IS A HELLHOLE? MY LOVE???? AND THE CHILDREN'S TOO??! ARE YOU OUT OF YO-

He slapped her. Silence prevailed. Petya was dumbfounded by the sudden slap in her face. Her mind was filled with unspoken words and curses to her beloved. This adrenaline boost made her forget the pain but...

— Mommy!! Little bwotha...is cwying. Mommy, you are cwying too??

— Mommy needs a break, let me come and help your brother. Let's go. - said the father, grinning at the 4-year-old in front of him. — What a good boy you are! Helping your brother!

Petya did not even comment. She could not comment. Why should she? Is it not better to stay quiet and do her housework while he brings the money. Maybe this is how life will be.

— Alright, little warrior, why were you crying?

— Mommy and you were sceeeming loud.

— Ah, were we that loud...geez. We...were just talking. But...

— No, daddy, You were not. She never shouts like that. When she cooks, cleans and plays with us. She is so happy. We love mommy. — said the younger one and hugged the older one.

— Fuck... — he cursed under his breath. — I apologise.

— For what, daddy? — asked the older one. — did you do something wrong?

— Nevermind. It is getting late, you should both go to sleep.

He proceeded to exit the room.

— Daddy! Read us or tell us a tale. Please.

— Alright...let me see...Andersen, Grimm...ugh, I will just think of one. Here we go. Once upon a time, there was a little farmer, who had a favourite bull. It was one of the few bulls in the village, actually. So, this little boy loved this big animal that grew up with him. When he was 5 or 6, he saw it getting born. And the parents, the farmers who had at least a hundred cows felt like this bull is truly something. So, they let their son feed it and the animal began to follow him everywhere.

— Even at school?

— Even at school.

[imtheiliad]

Hey how are you doing

oh anon....that is truly a complicted question... long story short..im fine. generally. im alive. i have a roof over my head. food. and a cuddly cat whom i love.

and this is where i am going to get brutally honest. tw for gun violence (nothing explicit just a mention of recent events) this is by no means a comprehensive complete list of everything, just the most prominent on my mind rn.

the real answer is that i am constantly conflicted.

constantly feeling more and more helpless, angry, frustrated, and confused. i am watching the world and the country I live in only get scarier and scarier. whether it is seeing my friend in turkey continually beg for attention toward the destruction that their home has faced in the wake of a devastating earthquake. to watching as politicians claim to protect children by banning drag shows and eliminating reproductive and gender affirming medical care all the while doing NOTHING as three 9 year olds, and administrators, were shot in school this week. another on a list that is too fucking long. and I sat in my cubicle today and listened to one of my co-workers brag about how many AR-15s and AR-10s he owns (yes, plural), and how he got on a waitlist for something that bypasses "loopholes" and call one of our magazine restriction laws stupid and annoying. and i am supposed to sit there and care about processing payments. i dont. i really fucking dont. but i do it anyway. this is the space in which i am not seen, and i do not let myself be seen because i truly do not give a fuck if i get she/her d all day, called girl, and miss, ma'am on the phone because i do not care and i do not correct them because i do not care about the space we are holding together. i correct when i care. and i dont at work. it's also a safety measure. but despite this, it still wracks me to my core some days, hollows me out and makes me bleed, and want to scream because i feel as though i am losing myself, the self that i spent years finding and healing, because i am spending a majority of my time in what feels like hiding and i hate it. i really do. i crave to loud and comfortable again. so yeah, i wanna quit my job. because i dont feel safe or seen. and wanting to quit makes me feel like i am failing. so yeah... maybe im not fine. or im as fine as i can be right now.

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

biiiiiiiig oofbaboof

first: 65 is an upcoming movie in which people get lost in space butt hey end up on earth 65 million years ago, aka "right before the asteroid". the movie's dinosaurs are worse than those of jurassic world in terms of accuracy - significantly worse.

second:

we're touching on "Meig's Theory of Everything" which, a) all theories of everything are oversimplifications and b) I am not important enough to have a theory of everything, I'm just a schmuck who reads too many books and thinks too much for too long of the day. so that's the disclaimer, here you go:

We currently have a situation in much of the world - not only the United States, but I am from the states and as such my perspective is very biased to here - where people are ignoring things that cannot be changed or avoided, mainly so they can turn a profit

the classic example is climate change, right? climate change is happening. that is the reality. that is what has been shown in paper after paper and study after study. And we've known about it for a while. But rather than acknowledge and face that reality - that we have to do something about it - oil and gas companies actively worked to suppress that reality, and even now, we careen towards a point of no return. Climate change isn't going anywhere, no matter how much you just hope real hard it will so you can dig up more oil.

but there's more than that. There's the fact that covid-19 is horrifying, has significant long-term repercussions, and hasn't gone anywhere - and yet we don't have mask mandates. It's like if people just stopped using condoms just a few years after the peak of HIV. No one wants to stop raw dogging the air. And as such, the disease keeps mutating, people keep getting sick, and repeated infections repeatedly cause long term disability. But no one acknowledges this, because masks are unpopular, and, well, everyone just wants power and profit at the expense of people.

there's the fact that there are very very very few differences between biosex-males and biosex-females in humans (insert all the asterisks that sex is a made up concept, gender is based in personal experience and thus should be prioritized, etc) and those differences are decreasing with each generation, and yet, swathes of people believe that biosex-males are naturally smarter and stronger just because they had to for some made up pseudoscientific reason.

And these things just feed into bigotry, right? Fox News actively lies week to week and misrepresents information to keep their viewers scared and, thus, willing to vote against their own self-interest - mainly, by keeping them scared of minorities. The reality is that the uber-rich - billionaires, oil ceos, most politicians - continue to take away our rights and safety in order to consolidate their own power, creating a techno-feudalist society. But they lie and they lie and they lie in order to prevent people from realizing this, so they can keep their power.

But reality doesn't go away just because you want it to. You can scream and scream and scream but blaming everything on minorities isn't actually fixing anything, everything's getting worse, and that's why you can't base policy on lies. Fiction doesn't become real because you want it to. The problems I listed above keep getting worse because we keep not fixing them, because the terrible want power and the mediocre hate change.

And the media is an arm of all of this. All of it is connected. Billionaires also have the power in what we see in our stories and our art - we know this, we know that's why AO3 and fanwork exists. Indie things that prioritize reality and equity don't get far, more often than not. Those that do almost always have some sort of caveat that renders the message within hollow (here's how in Andor). Of course this applies to dinosaur media.

The old narrative, the one that suits the powers that be, is that dinosaurs were a failed group of behemoth monsters that were stupid and lucky that they got the megafaunal spot before mammals could take their rightful place. This points to humans being the ultimate heirs and owners of nature, of the world. The rightful rulers, the divinely righted kings. We are at the top of nature's hierarchy - the mammals, better than the dinosaurs, took over because of their superiority, and then we were the most superior of them all.

But truth is, that's not the truth. Science shows over and over again that nature is non hierarchical, that every facet of the food web is important to every other, that we all have our part to play to keep nature balanced. We are many and we are one. A carnivore eating prey is not enmity or war or competition, but a necessary flow of energy. humans don't rule nature, but we also aren't separate from it - we are nature, we are a part of it. And the evidence shows that nonavian dinosaurs would not have disappeared if it wasn't for a freak accident from space. And, with the knowledge that it is not who is at the top - since there is no top - there is an argument to be made that dinosaurs are doing better than mammals today: birds are more speciose and more numerous than mammals by far.

But that goes against our narrative

The one that helps the powers that be keep their power

So we can't have it. We can't have the nuanced picture of the well adapted, birdlike dinosaurs that actually were hit the screens. We can't have them portrayed seriously and realistically. If we do, it has to be in educational media, because people rarely watch that stuff anyway, and those that do already know.

this leads us to 65. Despite being a new dinosaur related fictional piece with absolutely no ties to jurassic park, it didn't actually go for depicting the past correctly. The damn TITLE isn't right! We now know the extinction happened 66 million years ago! 65 mya was in the Paleocene! Never mind the unrealistic abominations that are the dinosaurs and the portrayal of nature (ie, no herbivores because they aren't scary, even though herbivorous animals are almost always more violent and dangerous than carnivorous ones) - the title is itself a falsehood.

Even if not intentional, it reflects the lack of education and knowledge about our collective past in society, which is not good. Only by understanding where we've been can we know how to go forward. Imagine making a movie about, I don't know, going to space, and your title is about how the earth is flat, but you sincerely think the world is flat. That's ridiculous, right? Well, this is just as ridiculous, but we're okay with it, because we aren't properly educated on it because learning the nuance of nature breaks down society's foundational myths.

Like, yeah, not every bit of inaccurate dinosaur art is bad. Individuals should not be held uniquely responsible for the ills of society, and ffs, obviously people with power and money have more reach and are more responsible. But like, don't act like your choices exist in a vacuum either - we have to commit to reality when it is necessary which, for now, with dinosaurs? It is. They aren't monsters. They aren't fictional. Draw dragons and fictitious creatures if you want, but dinosaurs ARE real animals and deserve to be treated with respect.

And that is why 65 is very much related to our rapidly decaying society.

Thanks for humoring me.

Thoughts on new movie 65? It looks awful but im glad someone other than jurassic tried to make a dino movie.

meh, it's somehow worse than JW, and I'm tired of people ignoring and denying reality, so I'm honestly pissed it exists

[rvp32]

Prison break- ITZY (Chaeryeong)

Chaeryeong hated Monday mornings, it was the worst day of the week. Chaeryeong also hated it because of college, Chaeryeong wasn’t the regular popular kid. Chaeryeong was hated by a lot of people and constantly bullied but Chaeryeong never did anything to them even though Chaeryeong knew that she could beat them up, Chaeryeong did not want to get in any trouble because of my parents so she never did anything to them and took their beating without saying a thing. 

Chaeryeong had a step-brother, he was a sweet guy and the only person she loved and cared for in her entire family. He was frail and had a small body frame but he was very smart, so smart that he was ranked in the top 10 for overall scores in the university. He deeply cared for Chaeryeong as well, and we were very close so close that some people even mistook us for a couple. To Chaeryeong’s knowledge he lived a pretty decent life, he didn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs and he had a good group of friends.

One day, Chaeryeong was walking by his building to go to my class, Chaeryeong heard someone screaming so Chaeryeong wanted to see what was going on, Chaeryeong was shocked to find that my brother was being beaten up by 3 people who were asking him for his money and also demanding that he steal some of my panties and give it to them. Chaeryeong was furious at this sight so Chaeryeong screamed saying “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE DOING???!”. 

This caused the 3 guys to turn around to look at me. Chaeryeong walked toward them and punched one of them in the face this caused a brawl to break out and Chaeryeong was beating their asses without even getting hit by them. 2 of them fainted but the last guy would not shut up he constantly kept talking shit about my brother and also me, he was saying disgusting things like “why are you beating us up? Why do you have to guard your brother does he not have the balls to fight us? That weak-ass mother fucker who can do nothing but hide behind his step-sister’s back. I am pretty sure that this weak fucker still sucks on his mom’s tits because of how dependent he is”.

 His last statement set Chaeryeong off and she pushed him down to the ground and continuously punched his face even after he lost consciousness. Chaeryeong was stopped by some random people,  the guy was bleeding so badly and he must have had some broken bones. 

After this, the cops came to my house and took me to the police station, Chaeryeong believed that she was not in the wrong and that she should not have to pay for any of the damages. The guy that he got beaten up was the son of a famous politician so this caused his parents to bribe the judges and Chaeryeong was jailed for 4 years for attempted murder and assault. Chaeryeong’s parents did not even appoint a lawyer to help her with this because they decided that they are no longer associated with Chaeryeong so they disowned her and she was left to deal with this all by herself so she ended up in prison. 

The prison was not a pretty place, it had people who had committed horrible crimes, crimes that would make people puke just from hearing about them so Chaeryeong needed to become stronger and build some friendships so that she doesn’t get bullied like she did when she was in college. The first thing that Chaeryeong had to do when she entered the prison was that she was told to strip and give away all of her belongings, they then took pics of Chaeryeong holding a board with her name and a number, but they did not let her put her clothes back on while they did this but she had no choice to obey them because they were the ones in power right now. 

Chaeryeong was sent to her room and she was staying with four other girls, she did not say anything to them and just went to her bed. One of the girls came up to her and introduced herself by saying “hi, I am Yuna what is your name?” 

They got close over the next few weeks. One day during lunch, a woman walks up to Chaeryeong and took Chaeryeong’s plate, and emptied the food onto the floor. This pissed off Chaeryeong and now that she decided to never be disrespected she got up and punched the woman’s face, this caused a mass fight to break out in prison. There were many people trying to attack Chareyeong and beat her up but she tried her best to defend herself, she was getting tired and did not know how much longer she could keep it up but to her surprise she found her roommates fighting with her, and defending her. The brawl was stopped by the prison guards and Chaeryeong, her roommates along with some other prisoners were thrown into isolation cells. 

All of them did not know how long they would be stuck there, after the first day Chaeryeong decided to break the silence and scream to ask the other 4 people why did they join the fight when they knew that there would be consequences. One of them replied saying “We know that you are a good person, we have been observing you since the time you entered our room, throughout the entire time you did nothing that would bother us and you never caused trouble, so we decided that it was in our best interest to help you when you were so badly outnumbered”. 

Chaeryeong felt touched because this is the first time that someone actually stood up for her and defended her so Chareyeong replied by saying “thank you so much for defending me I really mean it, you guys defended me but I don't know your names so could you please introduce yourselves. The 3 girls introduced themselves and Yuna said, “you know my name already”. The names of her roommates are Lia, Yeji, Ryujin, and Yuna.  

Timeskip 

4 years have already passed and now Chaeryeong was going to be released, she was sad to a certain extent because she did not want to leave Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, and Yuna because they became like a family to her but luckily for her, they were going to get released in 2 months so she planned to come back to the prison to meet them when they are released. When Chaeryeong was released there was no one waiting for her, she was sad to see this because she was hoping that her parents had finally forgiven her and that she could go back to living her normal life. Chaeryeong took a cab to her home and was surprised to find that her family still lived in the same house because after them not coming to pick her up she had assumed that they would have moved to a different city or a country to completely sever ties with her. Chaeryeong walked to the front door and rang the doorbell. 

A handsome muscular man opened the door, the man looked very shocked to see Chaeryeong at the door and as soon as they broke out of his trans he immediately hugged Chareyeong. This sudden act of skinship shocked Chaeryeong and confused her because she did not know the man that was hugging her. After he moved away from Chaeryeong he said: “Noona, you are finally back I have been waiting for you, I wanted to come to pick you up but I did not know which prison you were in”. 

Chaeryeong looked at her step-brother and started to tear up she hugged him “I can’t believe it is really you, I have missed you so much, you have changed so much I didn’t recognize you at all.” Chaeryeong says

“Yeah I did, I did not want to get beat up ever again and I want to be the one to protect you”. - Step-brother replies

Chaeryeong moves into the house and looks around feeling nostalgic. She turns to her brother “I know that they left but I was wondering what happened and how are you still able to keep this house and how are you doing?” Chaeryeong says 

 He turns around and walks closer to Chaeryeong, now they are so close that Chaeryeong’s tits are basically pressed up against her step-brother's chest and he says “I am a millionaire business entrepreneur Noona, my net worth is over 150 million dollars, I have enough money for anything that you want to do Noona, you don’t have to work anymore” 

Chaeryeong is so happy that her step-brother is successful but she feels that she will be a burden on him so she says “don’t worry I can take care of me and I don’t want to drag you or your business down just because you are associated with me so I will leave after I find another place to stay”. 

He holds Chaeryeong’s chin and makes her stare into his eyes and says “Noona, I have missed you so much and there is no way that you will leave I don’t care if I lose everything, I just need you”.

 Chaeryeong pushes him away “don’t joke but I am really thankful for you I mean it. 

Chaeryeong’s brother took her to her room and showed her that it was left exactly as the last time she saw it. She was very surprised that the room was exactly how she had last seen it. Her step-brother leaves Chaeryeong to herself because he knows that she is going to need some time with herself, to grasp the situation and finally come to terms with it. After Chaeryeong finished looking around she goes for a shower. She takes a nice hot shower, bathes in her citrus-scented body wash, and just lets her body relax under all the hot water. She walks out of the shower feeling very relaxed and goes to her old closet to get some clothes to put on, she picks out a loose crop top that she loved, also a pair of shorts, a bra, and panties. She tries to put on a bra but to her disappointment, the bra no longer fits her because her boobs had gotten bigger so decides to just put on the crop top without a bra for now. She tries to put on her panties but she notices that she is facing the same problem as her ass had gotten bigger from all the workouts that she did in prison so she skips that and put on her shorts but since her ass had gotten bigger she could no longer fit in them as well so she just put on one of her old skirts and walked out to the kitchen.

As Chaeryeong walks to the kitchen to get some food as she was very hungry she notices that her brother is cooking some Kimchi-fired rice for her, so sits at the counter near the kitchen, while looking at her step-brother as he cooks. Her step-brother turns around and is startled by Chaeryeong’s sudden appearance, this causes Chaeryeong to burst out in laughter and this embarrasses her step-brother

“I did not hear a single sound. How long have you been here?” He says

“I got here a few minutes ago so do not worry, yeah it is a habit that I picked up when I was in prison, sorry if that creeps you out. I can announce myself every time I enter a room if you want.” Chaeryeong says

“You do not have to do something so stupid and it is also my fault because I have been living alone for such a long time that it is different for me to have someone here,” he says

He continues to cook the rice while watching him cook Chaeryeong realizes that her brother had ignored the question about her parents when they spoke so she wanted to ask again because she was very curious as to why they left but her step-brother is still living here.

“Hey, tell me something where are our parents? Why did they leave and how come they did not take you with them?” Chaereyong says

“I really did not want to talk about this, they left because they no longer wanted to be known as the parents of a criminal, they initially took me with them as well and I had no choice but to follow because I did not have enough money”. Her step-brother says

“You left with them but why are you back here? How is everything the exact same?” - Chaeryeong asks. 

“After we left this house, nobody wanted to buy it so it was just left like this. One year after you went to prison I started my company, within 2 months it took off and I finally had enough money so I left them and bought this house from the real estate agent” her step-brother replies.

Hearing this made Chaeryeong feel appreciated so she walked up to him and hugged him tightly and mumbled something that no one could understand, her brother suddenly pushes her away and looks at her from top to bottom. 

“Noona, are you not wearing a bra? I could feel your nipples on my chest” - he says

Chaeryeong realizes what had just happened so she crosses her arms over her chest attempting to cover up her nipples, she is currently blushing because of what had happened and she walks behind the counter going back to where she was sitting. 

“Yeah I am not wearing any right now because all my old ones do not fit me anymore, I tried putting it on but my boobs became a lot bigger than before so they were really tight and suffocating,” Chaeryeong says.

Hearing this her step-brother's cock got hard and threatened to burst out of his pants but Charyeong could not see this because he had already turned towards the stove to finish his cooking and plate it so that they both could eat it. After plating the rice he takes another pan to make the eggs that he was planning to place on top. By this time his boner had gone down so he picked up the plate of fried rice and egg, and placed it in front of Chareyeong for her to eat. Looking at the food, Chaeryeong’s mouth started to water because for the first time in 4 years she was going to have a home-cooked meal and some good food that she actually liked. 

She waited for her step-brother to finish making his plate as well so that they could eat together, Chaeryeong also suggested that they should watch a new movie or Kdrama because she wants to catch up with them, her step-brother agrees and they sit down in front of the TV. Chaereyong decided that she wants to watch Nevertheless which is Kdrama. After Chaeryeong and her step-brother finished eating, he took the plate to wash them and also clean up the kitchen, by the time he got back Chaeryeong had fallen asleep on the couch, he went to his room to get a blanket to put over her because she must be cold. 

He got the blanket from his room and was about to put it on Chaereyong when he noticed that Chaereyong’s pussy was visible, this caused his dick to get hard, he was so tempted to lie down and start eating her pussy and do so much more to her but he decided against it do he put the blanket over her and went to the washroom to calm himself down. After he calmed down he went to the kitchen where he placed his laptop and began doing his company work.

After an hour, while he continued working Chaeryeong began to moan in her sleep. At first, he thought that it was because she was having nightmares but once he got closer to her the moans sounded very erotic and this set him off again, this time instead of backing out he sat down next to Chaeryeong and started to slowly play with her pussy, seeing that Chaeryeong has not reacted or woken up from this he continued to do so but he got greedy and wanted to taste Chaeryeong.

He tried to spread her legs but this woke Chaereyong up she was shocked as to what was going on but she did not say anything and acted like she was still asleep. He was able to spread her legs and began eating Chaeryeong out. Chaeryeong was trying her best not to moan out loud but she was enjoying it so much and she was so close to her release. When he flicked her clit with his tongue it finally sent Chaeryeong over her edge and she squirted hard. When she was coming down from her high she heard something that sent chills down her spine,

“Noona, until when are you going to pretend that you are asleep, get up and I will fuck you until you won’t be able to walk for another week but if you do not want that just continue to pretend that you are sleeping, and we can forget this ever happened,” he says. 

Chaeryeong is wondering what she should do because if she does get up then her relationship with her step-brother will no longer be the same as it once was but a part of her mind really wanted to get up so that she could finally get fucked by him and enjoy laying in his arms without caring about anything else. 

The side that wanted to get up had won, Chaeryeong sat up and looked into her step-brother’s eyes and said  “Fuck me like you mean it, fuck me so hard that my pussy only becomes the shape of your dick, use my, use all of my holes, and make me yours”. 

This set him off, he grabbed Chaeryeong and made it so that she was sitting on his lap. He looked her in the eyes and Chaeryeong’s eyes were filled with lust, she was basically begging. He chokes her and says “show me how much you want it?”.

Chaeryeong was so wet that she started to stain her step-brother's shorts, after hearing what he said she began to grind her pussy on his thighs,

“I want it so badly please, I need your cock in me please,” Chaeryeong says

He then shoves a finger into her very wet pussy which causes Chaeryeong to release a whine, he responds by adding 2 more fingers and this causes Chaeryeong’s eyes to widen. He continues to finger her as Chaeryeong’s moans grow louder and more frequently.

“I’m so close, please don’t stop. I’M GOING TO CUM SO FUCKING HARD,” Chaeryeong says 

Just as she is about to cum he pulls out all his fingers which causes Chaeryeong to try and protest but her mind is in haze from almost cumming. He then pushes her onto the couch and takes out his cock placing it in front of Chaeryeong’s 

“I can’t wait anymore, my cock is so fucking hard right now. I’m going to put it in now.” He says

“Yes, shove that cock into my pussy and fuck me please,” Chaeryeong says

He slowly pushes his cock into Chaeryeong’s pussy, she gasps when she feels his length, she already feels full from his dick. She still feels him pushing into her.

“Are you in completely yet? It is so big,” Chaeryeong says

“Noona, I’m only half in. It’s okay relax it will feel better” he says

Chaeryeong nods and tries to relax as he fills her up even more and reaches places that have never been touched before. Her moans turn into groans as she feels a little bit of pain. Chaeryeong feels it stop going deeper. 

“I am completely in, I’m going to wait for a little so that you can adjust to this size,” he says

“You can move slowly, I think it feels better now” Chaeryeong replies

He continues to fuck her slowly, she starts to moan at the feeling better, after Chaeryeong adjusted to the size she began to try and match his movements such that she could feel it more. Noticing this he starts to move faster and harder causing Chaeryong to moan loudly. This continued for a few more minutes and Chareyong felt a knot forming in her stomach. He felt Chaeryeong tighten around him and increased his pace such that the was basically ramming into her like a machine. 

“I’m going to cum, please do not stop keep going, I’m so fucking close. Yes, yes, yes” Chaeryeong says

She cums so hard that her body begins to shake and her eyes roll back. As she continued to ride her orgasm out she was mumbling incoherently, this raised a little concern for Chaeryeong’s step-brother because he thought that he might have fucked Chaeryeong’s brains out. 

“Noona are you fine? Did I really just fuck your brains out just from one round? We are going to be doing this the entire night so tomorrow morning I might end up with a mind-broken slut” he says

After a few seconds, Chaeryeong is finally able to talk after being fucked to oblivion. Chaeryeong replies to her step-brother by saying “Keep going I want to become YOUR cock loving slut, fuck me so much that all I can think about is your cock”

Sometime during their sex, they had moved to the bedroom. They continued to fuck till sunrise, they had to end their session because Chaeryeong had passed out from experiencing an extreme amount of pleasure. Chaereyong was lying beside her brother with her pussy leaking with cum and completely passed out. 

This night of amazing pleasure for both of them had changed their relationship forever but in a positive way for them.