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idontplaytrack · 4 months ago

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✧ Hit and go (home)

AJ Campos x fem! reader

Warnings: age regression, fluff, reader’s on her period, injury in gym class, implied messy home life

You simply didn’t feel right from the second you woke up. You felt exhausted even after a full eight hours of sleep, nauseous and cranky. You knew you were due to get your period soon and weren’t looking forward to it because you’d always have terrible headaches and cramps, among other things. You made it to school with AJ without an issue, but once you got there, you had to use the restroom. So, you went while AJ waited for you in the cafeteria, chatting with Gabi and Stacey.

Lo and behold, you had just started your period and the cramps immediately hit you like a twist of your insides. Thank god you’d put a pad on before leaving the house. You took a deep breath, flushed the toilet and washed your hands.

AJ smooches you on the cheek, palm naturally caressing your lower back. She notices the furrow of your brows and asks, “You okay?”

Do you tell her? Nah, not now.

“Mhm.” You nodded, kissing her too for good measure.

AJ walks you to your home room, Gabi and Stacey close behind. Gabi enters the classroom with you— you two had the same homeroom. Then, you two said bye to AJ and Stacey who were headed to theirs. Settling down at your usual desk, you were picking at your nails while staring at the clock on the wall. When the teacher came in with morning announcements and other administrative matters, you could barely focus as the ache you were feeling began to be more widespread.

Every single minute you spent in that seat felt like the bottom of your spine was on fire. But you persevered, blinking profusely to refocus on your teacher in the front of the room. It worked, you made it through home room, then social studies, physics, American literature, and finally— gym class. That was where you were doubting yourself, you weren’t too sure if you’d make it through the class without bursting into tears. Dillon was staring at you, you could feel it. Then you saw his worried face and looked away to avoid the question. Taking one last sip of water, you began your laps around the gymnasium when the teacher’s whistle went off.

Lunch was next, so it couldn’t be too bad, right?

Nope. You tried, you really tried. But when Tim’s dodgeball slammed into your chest because you didn’t react fast enough , you immediately went down. “Oh, shit!” He froze, “I am so sorry, y/n.”

Dillon knew something wasn’t right when he saw you just fall down like that. He ran over to you from his spot on the other side of the gym and helped you up.

“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling you up.

You swallowed thickly and gave him a nod. Admitting defeat, you walked over to the benches to sit down. The teacher didn’t say anything, given what she’d just witnessed. “You good? You wanna go to the nurse?” Dillon followed you.

“No.” You answered quietly.

“You should go to—”

“…’m okay.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, screwing your eyes shut.

“Dillon! You still playing or what?”

“Coming back, coming back.” He answered, jogging back onto the court but not without taking one last glance at you.

You exhaled shakily, your mind started to race and the pain your were feeling all over your body began to intensify to a point where you could barely keep it together. And so, you stared into space, daydreaming. To keep your mind off the pain. It didn’t last long, however. The shrill sound of Murray’s whistle jolted you out of your thoughts. Causing something like a switch to flip in your head. You were gone. There wasn’t a single thought in your head now that would help you. All you could feel was the need for a hug from AJ, you could no longer focus on anything. The pain that was bothering you disappeared into the void thanks to this switch. But it honestly wasn’t safe for you here either to be doing this.

You got permission to go to the bathroom, then you were gone from the gym. Pushing the heavy door, you found yourself in front of the sink and mirror, staring at your reflection. A wave of pain from the cramping hits you, causing you to cry out as you gripped onto the porcelain sink. Your heart rate picks up, causing your mouth to go dry. You feel your phone in your pocket. Fishing it out you struggled to text AJ, hands shaky.

You just realised you had no idea were she was. Big you would know, but your brain wasn’t allowing you to figure that out right this second. You managed to call her instead, she picks up.

“Hey, are you alright, honey?” She answered pretty quickly, voice quiet.

“No.” You told her shakily, “No. I— feel weird.”

“Baby, we have lunch in three minutes. Do you think you can hold on and find me in the cafeteria or do you want me to come get you?” She asks, you hear her walking out of what you assume was her classroom.

You thought hard about her answer, then you said, “I wait.”

“Yeah?” AJ said back, “Okay, my love. I’ll see you in a few minutes. Be careful.”

“Okay.” You muttered then hung up, cautiously making your way back to the gymnasium to grab your bag right as the bell went off. You winded your way through the group of students and made a beeline for the cafeteria before you slipped even further.

You hear hurried footsteps behind you, then a tap on your shoulder. You jumped, startled letting out a gasp. “Hey— sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

It was…Dillon.

“How are you feeling? You were gone awhile.”

Here’s the thing, you could hear him loud and clear but you couldn’t exactly understand him anymore. You were fighting the urge to slip into the headspace and it was becoming harder and harder as your pain got worse and worse. You shrug. He doesn’t leave you alone though, now walking next to you to the cafeteria.

Nearing the cafeteria, you spot AJ at a round table setting her backpack down. So you ran up to her and immediately just hugged her from behind with your arms eventually resting on her shoulders. “Hey, you.” She turned to glance at you. You usually didn’t show affection this way in school, so that tipped her off. “I wanna go home.” You frowned, “Don’t feel good.” She grabs your hand and gave it a squeeze before she turned around and cups your cheek. Her gaze softens and was promptly filled with worry. Dillon went ahead to get his own lunch to give you two some space, he understood.

“You wanna go home?” She asks softly. You nodded, licking your lips.

“Okay.” Her thumb strokes your cheek, “Okay, honey. I’m gonna take you home right now, okay? You’re alright, I got you.”

AJ grabs her bag and your own, one hand holding onto yours while the other was busy with her phone— trying to text her Mom to let her know that she’d left school early.

“Everything okay?” Stacey asks when you and AJ were just about to exit the cafeteria.

“Yeah, she’s just not feeling too well so I’m taking her home. I won’t be coming back, but we’re fine.” AJ quickly explained.

“Alright.” Stacey nods, “Take care, babes. I hope you feel better soon.”

“Car keys.” Gabi handed them over to her sister, “Here. Drive safe.”

————

AJ takes you to her place, knowing that you’d one hundred percent be safer here than at your own home. You were nearly caught while in a regressed state at home, and forced yourself to ‘snap out of it’. By the end of that night, you had ran out of the house and was sobbing on the phone to AJ for her to come pick you up. That was the first time she’s ever seen you that distraught and even unlike your usual self. But she had no problem talking you through it and calming you down.

“Baby.” She called for you, to get your attention, “Wanna change into pjs?”

You gulped uncomfortably, giving her a nod. She shut her bedroom door and locked it before heading over to her closet and looking through it. AJ pulled out two different sets of pyjamas for you to choose from. How she went about doing things depended on how you felt, and how you seemed overall. Today, a fixed set of choices was the way to go in order to not overwhelm you.

“Here, pick one.” She held onto both sets for you to see. You reached for the set with shorts instead of the one with long pants. “Do you want me to help?” She bent down a little to catch your gaze, not entirely sure if you’d fully gone into the headspace. Sometimes you’d force yourself to ‘stay big’, and she didn’t want you to do that because when you’ve eventually stopped masking, you’d usually have a meltdown because you were trying so hard to suppress the urge and emotions.

You mumbled a no then proceeded to change into the pyjamas right in front of her. Obviously, this was the norm whether or not you were regressed. You clearly felt safe and secure in her presence. While you were changing, she set both backpacks aside and plugged in both her phones and yours to let them charge. “You want some lunch?” She took your hand.

You weren’t too sure thanks to the bloat. So you shrugged. “Tummy doesn’t feel good?” She asks knowingly. You shook your head, lips slightly pouted.

“Come on.” She leads you down to the kitchen after retrieving your favourite sippy cup from her closet, “We’ll get you something to help make you feel better, hm?”

The Campos family kept their OTC meds in the bottom shelf of their pantry. So that’s where AJ was looking in order to find one suitable for you, “Here we go.” She pulled out two options, one was a liquid, the other was a chewable pain reliever. She took one look at you and knew you’d be likely to throw up the liquid variety so she put that away. “Take this, okay? Then I’ll open up a pudding cup for you?” AJ suggested, you stood leaning against the kitchen island as she spoke. She hands the little pill to you and you took it from her, popping it into your mouth. It didn’t taste too horrible so you were done with it quite quickly. AJ hands you your cup that she’d filled with some apple juice first then turned around to grab you a vanilla pudding cup from the fridge— and a spoon, of course. She handed a teaspoon to you knowing you preferred a smaller one right now. “Sit down, honey.” She urged quietly.

You took the spoon and sat down on a barstool. AJ does the same, sitting opposite you. She peeled off the top of the cup and hands it to you without saying anything. AJ kept a close eye on you and noticed you had teary eyes. She hated this sight with a passion. AJ hated the fact that she was the one responsible for the consequences of your parents’ actions. They had hurt you so badly that you were forced to heal this way. Your regression was always involuntary, and always triggered by your parents fighting or worse…oh shit. That must’ve been what happened last night before school today.

AJ was glad you were using this way to heal, it was healthier than what you could have ended up doing. It actually helped you. Don’t get her wrong, AJ loved you to death and would do anything for you. She just had a very strong hatred and disrespect for your parents because of how they were like. Because of how they treated you and how they were still treating you. The girl before you bit back a sigh, and you could still feel her eyes on you. You usually didn’t care, but in this state? You were easily upset. You cried so easily but yet you loved to fight it.

AJ was learning that your behaviour during your regression was a direct reflection of how you were like when you were actually at that age. And it hurt her heart, it really did. She wanted to change that for you…she wants you to heal.

Neither of you have had lunch yet, but she wants to make sure that you ate before she did. “Do you want some more?” She asks. You shook your head no before eating another spoonful. You didn’t feel like you could eat anymore, you felt full but you weren’t.

“Okay.” She gave in anyway, knowing you were likely feeling very uncomfortable with today being day one of your period. Yeah, she figured that out too.

“Wanna head back to bed, honey?” She leans closer to ask, also noting that you were done eating.

“Okay.” You sniffed. AJ handed you your favourite blanket and stuffed toy, then you were quickly snuggled under your blanket with the toy in your arm. You were eager to block out the world, but also a bit more at ease now that the pain medicine was beginning to take effect. AJ was hungry, but she also knew you’d rather have her stay with you— at least till you fell asleep. So, that’s what she did. She sat right next to you, palm rubbing your back in a comforting motion or patting it in order to lull you to sleep. It was a simple tactic, but it always worked since you tended to be sleepier than usual in times like this.

“I love you, baby.” She hums.

You didn’t respond, obviously being so groggy but she knew you heard it because your body relaxed.

A year ago, AJ had a complete breakdown over academics and the stress her Dad had put her through. Ever since then, he’d very thankfully stopped being so hard on her, and was grateful for AJ just doing the best she could— no matter what the grade was, or what the outcome was of a meet. Those few weeks were distressing for you, but she eventually worked through it, they talked everything out and have finally reached a mutual understanding after years and years of a strained relationship. You stuck by her side though— found it sweet and really appreciated it, especially since she knew the situation was a potential trigger.

Anyway, so while her parents didn’t initially know that you had the tendency to age regress, her mother was very worried about you one day and talked to AJ about it. Then it came out that you were actually regressed which was why you were so exceptionally clingy — you were right next to her holding on to her arm when she told her mother. Even if she didn’t say it, it was raising suspicion for sure. Once AJ had settled you down in her bed for a bit with cartoons and animal crackers, she sat down with her mom to explain everything. All while keeping the details as vague as she could to keep it private.

“So she just acts like a kid?”

“Well, it’s not that she’s acting like a kid. When regression happens, she believes that she’s actually that age. She’s reverted back to a time where she feels safer and happier. And knowing what she’s been through and is still going through, I really really get it.”

Her mom gave her an apologetic look for how direct that question came across.

“How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know. But we’ve been together two years and I only found out about this eight months ago. It’s been very hard for her to talk to me about this so I really want to make sure you understand this. It’s okay if you don’t like it, you don’t have to be involved in caring for her in any way — but I just want her to have somewhere safe to heal. I won’t let her be in common areas if that’s what you want me to do. She’ll just be in my room.”

“Why would I not want her in common areas?”

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Mija, I’m a mom. I’m simply worried about someone’s child. If that’s all it is…she needs some time where she can snuggle with you, play with toys, watch cartoons and colour books and pages. I am so glad she’s doing all that and not harming herself or starving herself. She can feel free to do so, I need to understand this better, but she clearly feels safe here, she feels safe with you. So while I do that, you just focus on yourself and on her. Just be careful around your papi. You know he’s not too open-minded.”

“I know, mama. I just— you know I love her. And I love you, I never planned to keep things to myself but we just didn’t know if we told you, you’d be okay with it or not.”

“Don’t worry about it. I understand why, but now that I’m aware, if she needs anything, don’t hesitate to let me know, too.”

————

AJ’s mom came home from work when AJ was in the kitchen eating. “How’s everything?”

“She’s napping now but was in some pain. Got her period this morning but something else set her off.”

“Did she eat?” AJ’s mom set down her bag on the counter.

“Like, one pudding cup and some juice. She’s bloated and I don’t want to force it because otherwise there’d be a huge chance of her puking. Which she hates, then she’ll cry and I’ll cry so, I just let her sleep after taking the chewable pill.”

“Why are you home so early?”

“It’s not busy at the restaurant now, so I thought I’d come back to check on you girls for a little bit before going back there soon. It only gets busy once schools in the area let out for the day.”

“Oh, okay.” AJ nods while munching on some fries.

“Do you want me to cook her anything? Soup? Congee?”

“It’s okay, I’ll just ask her what she wants to eat later if she feels up for it.”

Her mom agrees, “Alright. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine, just waiting on Gabi to be back so I can get started on my homework that she’s helping me bring home.”

After finishing her lunch, AJ washed the dishes and did some chores. Her mom still made soup anyway, just to have it on ‘standby’. “Mama, you don’t—”

“It’s easy, it’s fine. I have time.”

“Thank you.” AJ pressed a kiss to her mom’s cheek.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll cook some rice too.” AJ decided, “it’ll be easy on her stomach but be filling enough if she decides she wants some.”

“That’s a good idea.”

After putting all the ingredients into the pot, AJ’s mom let the soup simmer. Then, she got read y to head back to the restaurant. “I’ll get going, okay? Don’t hesitate to call or text if anything, yeah, mamita?”

“I know, mama. Thank you, have a good rest of your shift.”

With a kiss to the teen’s head, she was out the door. AJ eventually sits at the counter scrolling through her phone until she heard movement from her room that made her get on her feet. She put her phone down and went upstairs. “Hey, you’re up.” She stood in the doorway. It hasn’t even been an hour since you fell asleep.

“I don’t feel good.” You said, holding your arms out for a hug.

“I know, bubs. I know.” She sat down next to you and wrapped her arms around you instantly, “It’s just for a few days, okay? I promise. I’ll take good care of you in the meantime.” Resting your chin on her shoulder and inhaling the scent of her coconut water shampoo, your eyes shut when you felt that twist in your lower abdomen again. When you pulled away, she holds your face in her hand then brushes the hair out of your eyes.

“Whyyyy.” You sulked.

“Sometimes it just has to happen.” She strokes cheek. AJ wasn’t about to explain periods to you when you were in the headspace of a five year old. “But the fun thing is, you get all the snuggles you want. And play whatever you want.”

You whined, obviously still in some discomfort despite the pain meds. “Why, what’s wrong?” She asks.

“It still hurts.” You groaned softly.

Maybe a heat pack will do you some good, she thought.

“I’m gonna go get you something and we’ll see if it helps, kay? I’ll just be a sec.” You refused to let go of her, she chuckles, “Honey, if you don’t wanna let me go, I can’t get the heat pack for you from downstairs.”

“Okay.” You gave in and put your arms down.

She smooches you on the cheek, “Good girl. I’ll be right back.”

Right before she steps out of her room, you stopped her. So she turned around, “Yeah? What ya need, honey?”

“I’m…kinda hungry.”

“I got you.” She smiled.

You pulled your blanket up again and grabbed your cup for a drink since you were thirsty. Staring into space, you only got pulled back into reality when you heard AJ enter the room again with the heat pack and a bowl of soup for you. “I’ll feed you.” She sits right by you, “After we put this on your tummy.”

You nodded wordlessly, letting her help you with it. Once the warm weighted heat pack came into contact with your shirt, the heat spread to your skin, providing you with much needed relief soon after. “Is that good?” She asked, watching your face for any sign of discomfort.

“Yeah.” You assured.

“Do you feel like you have to throw up, baby?” AJ asks while grabbing the bowl and spoon from your nightstand.

“No.” You murmured, “…’m okay.”

“That’s really good, baby. That’s so good.” She smiled softly, scooping a spoonful of the soup and rice and holding it up to your lips, “Have a little bit. No rush.”

Finally, you felt okay enough to eat something. It was great, seeing that it was 3:20 in the afternoon and all you had today was a bowl of cereal and a pudding cup. Having something so warm and comforting was amazing.

“Hey, I’m home!” A voice called out from downstairs. You got startled.

“You’re good, you’re good. It’s just Gabi.” She shushed, plopping the spoon back in the bowl.

You’d knocked your toy off her bed in the process so AJ quickly picked it back up for you. “You’re okay, just focus on the cartoons— here.” AJ set up the iPad for you with one hand and let you watch your favourite cartoon to keep your mind hopefully off everything else.

You relaxed soon enough, and so did AJ, which allowed her to finish feeding you the entire bowl of chicken soup and rice. Gabi could be heard in her room next door, putting down her bag, washing up and her closet opening and closing. “Hey, guys.”

“Gabs, hey.” AJ smiled back while getting up from the bed to put the bowl in the sink.

“Your homework.” Gabi held up the stack, “And hers. I’ll just leave it on your desk.” She walks in, placing the homework on the desk. “How’s she feeling?”

“Eh, still a little suckish but we’re making do.” AJ answered, noticing a prompt shift in your demeanour once her sister walked in. She squeezes your hand.

There had been enough going on for Gabi to notice over time, but she’s never once said anything because it wasn’t any of her business. “Anyway, mom made chicken soup so go eat if you haven’t.”

“I will.” Gabi quirked a brow, “You want me to bring that bowl downstairs? She seems pretty comfortable.”

AJ laughs, stroking your hair and noticing that you had your head in her lap. “That…would be great. Thanks, Gabs.”

“No problem.” Gabi allowed herself to chuckle.

Gabi left you and AJ alone quickly, remaining in the dining room to eat while AJ hung around with you up here. There was one little detail she couldn’t help but notice: you had your hand on your chest or clutching at your shirt there, a lot. Almost constantly in fact. “Bubs, what’s the matter? Why do you keep blocking your chest?” She finally asked.

You shook your head.

“Baby, come on.” She fought the urge to sigh, “Let me take a look.”

Blinking the forming tears away, you bit your lip nervously but your hand loosens its grip. AJ lifted up to check what was going on. Her eyes widened, “Did this happen in gym?”

You nodded to answer her question, “Tim threw it, then it hit me.”

She knew it was the doing of a dodgeball, that was the current sport for her class too. It didn’t look too bad, just a small bruise and some redness. Damn, Tim really put all his might into the throw. AJ’s never seen an injury like this one before because of dodgeball.

Well then you had to use the restroom so you went, and she went with you. And she knew you’d need her there because you got scared seeing the bleeding. You forgot you were on your period.

“Honey. Honey, breathe. You’re okay, everything’s okay.” She shut the bathroom door, “I’ll help you with it.”

No questions asked, she peeled off the used sanitary napkin and got rid of it before putting on a new one for you. Usually, she’d guide you to do it yourself but right now you were as good as frozen so she assisted, otherwise you’d be sitting on the toilet for ages.

Anyway, crisis averted. After washing her hands, she made sure you did too and took you back to her bed. “Alright— what do you wanna do now, bubs? How about a puzzle? Or should we do some colouring?”

You thought about it, then answered, “Puzzle, please.”

After fixing two puzzles, you decided you’ve had enough fun and wanted to lay on AJ and just let her hug you. Well, the girl absolutely loved doing that so she immediately pulled you onto herself. You kind of straddled her, with your cheek squished against her chest. “Are you tired?”

“No.” You shook your head, murmuring.

“So you just want my hugs then?” She grins.

You nodded, “Uh-huh.”

“Well, lucky you.” She combs her fingers through your hair, planting a kiss to the top of your head. “Do you want anything for your chest? Does it hurt a lot?”

“Nope, I want cuddles. Just feels a little weird.”

“Are you sure?” She looked you in the eye, “Does it hurt when you breathe, honey? Maybe you should lay down on your side instead.”

“No…” You whined, “I want cuddles.”

“Okay.” AJ exhaled, rubbing your back, “Okay, you’re gonna get all the cuddles you want, bubs. I promise.”

You giggled, “Yay.”

“You’re silly.” She teased.

“No, you are.” You responded airily.

Meanwhile downstairs, AJ’s mom was home. “Mami, hi!” Gabi greeted, “Oh, they’re up in AJ’s room.”

Then footsteps, up the stairs, towards AJ’s room. “Hi, girls.”

“Hi, Ana.” You looked back at the lady. AJ gasped, “Baby, what—”

“It’s okay.” Her mom bites back a laugh. “How are you feeling, sweetie?”

“No good.” You pouted.

“Well I’m sorry about that. But I got you a little something, maybe it’ll cheer you up?” Ana walked closer.

“Mom—” AJ squinted.

“Ay, es solo una cosita!” Ana chuckles.

“What did you— oh no way.”

“Look at her, she loves it!” Ana gushed.

“Where did you get it?” AJ arched a brow, “This blanket has been out of stock in the area for like— the last few weeks.”

“I know you’ve been looking for it to get her one, so I decided to pop in to one of the stores near work to check. They just restocked.” Ana explained, “She’s not feeling too well so I figured it would be nice to get her a little pick me up.”

“Thanks, mama.” AJ smiled brightly, “I’ll pay you back—”

“Ay, no. Don’t do that. Let me get her something every now and then, si? We can afford it, don’t worry.”

“Say thank you, baby.” AJ nudged.

“Thaaank you.” You told Ana, beaming.

“You are very welcome, cariño.” Ana replied with a smile plastered on her face, “Gabi’s getting dinner started, I will be in the shower. Not to worry, your Dad went on his little trip with his guys. Feel free to do whatever, wherever.”

“Okay, love you, mama.”

Giving AJ a little kiss on the cheek and you one on your head, “Yo te quiero mas.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Uh…so, I got a little carried away and this fic became 4.8k words😭 enjoy this fic that no one asked for🙂 (excuse my rusty Spanish)

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idontplaytrack · 7 months ago

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✧ Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

AJ Campos x chronically ill fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, descriptions if chronic illness + symptoms, smut ending

Reader’s significant moments in life while being ill. And only having the one person who’s always been by her side.

I just wanted to write this after hearing that one part of song trending on Tiktok. Evidently triggered some memories I tried to push down🤐

July.

“Hey, you’re not in school, babe?”

“No, I’m not feeling too good.” You told her honestly.

“I’ll be by after school with your work and some things for you, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.” You told her, swallowing thickly when you felt another wave of pain hit you.

“See you later, babe. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” You answered, she hung up. You put your phone down and curled up into a fetal position in your bed where you stayed until she got here later that day. Well, you fell asleep, but there you still were. In that same place all day, practically.

Your Mom peeped into your room a few times but as always, like it’s been for the past month or so, she’s been checking in on you less and less. You don’t blame her, she’s done all she could. No matter what, you were still in pain.

You’d just walked out of the bathroom down the hall from your room when you heard AJ’s voice come from downstairs. You stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for her. You were happy to see her. Locking eyes with you, she smiles, picking up her pace.

When your constant hospital visits started to happen, she didn’t exactly question it, or your change in pretty much everything. She just went with the flow, quietly helping you in any way she could. The girl was observant, she doesn’t say much, but she knows a lot about what’s going on without being told explicitly. Like how, you’ve been to the hospital three times in the last month. Each time being sent home with no answers and same medication. Like how, after every hospital visit, the light in your eyes seems to dim more and more. Like how, it takes anyone more and more effort to make you smile. She knew you’d be faking at times, she knew you were going through a lot that she couldn’t exactly understand. A part of her wanted to know more but she knew you weren’t ready to share. Another part of her also knew you couldn’t tell her much— you didn’t know a whole lot about what was going on with you. Every day since four weeks ago, she wishes that you hadn’t gone to the clinic that morning. That’s how this whole situation started. The doctor discovers you had a lump in your stomach, and sends you to the emergency department that evening to get checked for what he thought was appendicitis. Spoiler alert, it was not appendicitis. It apparently also wasn’t anything.

That one supposedly straightforward visit to your regular doctor for a missed day at school due to an upset stomach was the very beginning of a terribly long fight. You didn’t want to share that much with her seeing that you had only started dating her three months ago, and yet, here she was with you, without any complaints while you were moody and ‘sick’.

~~~~~

“AJ?” You managed to say, “I can’t do it. Will you come pick me up?”

August. You nearly fainted at your summer job because of a sudden pain in your chest, freaking out your coworkers and shift leader. Which prompted them to send you home. They asked you to go see a doctor, but you didn’t want to. Of course. Why would you go back to those people who laughed at your pain?

“Sure, baby. I’m on my way, okay? Sit down, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Thankfully, you worked near home so it didn’t take long for her to come by. Once she saw you, however, she immediately had the same idea as your coworkers. “You are so pale.” She points out.

“They’re not gonna find anything.” You said flatly.

“Your chest hurts. And you nearly fainted, I’m not joking with you right now, y/n. This has to be checked out.”

“Would’ve been dead by now if it was anything that serious.” You sighed, looking out the window as she sped towards the nearest urgent care.

Because of your symptoms, you were prioritised. And were seen fairly quickly, but you were still pissed off because again, you were told there wasn’t anything they could do but let it improve on its own, with the help of that one kind of medication they seem to love giving you. Three hours, one x-ray, physical exam and EKG later. They say, “It’s just an inflammation of the cartilage of your ribs. It’s self-limiting and should go away within a week or two. Just try not to do too much of what triggers the pain for you.”

You bite back a scoff. ‘Great, now I can’t go to work too?’

AJ sensed that you were upset so she didn’t talk to you for the ride home. Your mom sees you walking in with a bag of the meds and stops you to ask what happened, you didn’t want to talk, because you knew you’d lose it and start screaming so you handed her the bag which also contained a memo from the doctor so she could read it for herself.

“Oh.” You heard her say while walking upstairs. That was it, nothing more. She didn’t say anything else. Nothing. You hear footsteps behind you: AJ’s. You knew. “AJ, go home.” You told her as calmly as you could.

She doesn’t say anything to you but continued to follow you to your room. “Change your clothes.” She hands you a baggy t-shirt and your favourite pair of shorts. You changed out of your current outfit without resistance, simply doing so in silence. Next, you climbed under the covers and closed your eyes…trying to ignore the lingering ache and not-so-occasional waves of pain in your ribs. While you tried to drift off, AJ stays awake for a little longer, going on the internet to find out more about this diagnosis of an inflammation of one’s ribcage cartilage.

AJ couldn’t find out too much more of what she hasn’t already been told, but she did read that some people find that heat or ice helps. So she kept that in mind to have you try out the next day. Which you appreciated, but didn’t exactly show it. The lack of sleep made you terribly irritable. Still, she made sure you at least tried using the heat pack. It gave you some relief allowed you to get a couple hours of good sleep. AJ’s comforting back rubs similarly lulled you to sleep, but you made sure to ask for cuddles for when you woke up.

“Sure, baby.” She smiles, stroking your hair while you laid on her, heat pack on your back, currently kept in place by AJ’s hand.

~~~~~

August came and went without too much trouble apart from the ribcage pain flaring up two weeks after it died down the first time. September was oddly calm for you, but nothing prepared you for the atrocity that was October. Hours of waiting in the ER for test results, waiting for a proper bed but ending up sleeping in the ward corridor for the entirety of your stay. Having to leave the hospital one morning to take an exam, then go back to the hospital to be readmitted so you could wait for more test results. Which were inaccurate. Until you came back in a second time after getting discharged just a week prior. “You’re saying, your previous hospital did not keep track of the growth?”

“They said it wasn’t necessary.”

“And why?” Your new doctor was baffled.

“Because they ruled me crazy and every doctor since then saw that in my file and decided I was. And that I was there to avoid my life and responsibilities.”

“The ‘lump’ is the size of an egg, y/n.”

“Well, what could I do? My parents chose to listen to those doctors instead of me. I would too, because it is crazy, everything that I’ve had to put up with.”

“We need to get a biopsy done as soon as possible to determine whether it’s malignant or not.” Your doctor says.

“Okay?” You sighed, “Tell my parents that. They will be thrilled to have to spend more money on me.”

The panic didn’t set in until you were in bed for the night, at AJ’s. You somehow just needed her with you, and it didn’t click in your head why. You told her everything that night. Everything. Through tears and all, but she listened attentively, eyes never even leaving you for a second. Once you stopped talking, she took you into her arms and just held you until you stopped crying, rubbing your back comfortingly.

“You will always have me by your side. Okay? Always.” She says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You sniffled, “I’m sorry. That was a lot.”

“You never have to deal with that alone, y/n. I’m here. I’m your girlfriend. I’ll always be here for you. I promise.”

Her declaration only made you cry like a baby, practically inconsolable. “You’ll be okay.” She whispers, “Hm? I’ll make sure of it.”

Words were just…words. Nice to hear, but realistically, what could she do? She was your age. She’d just be a companion, be there for moral support. You didn’t think it was fair to put her through this hell of yours, you were ready for her to dump you. But she did the opposite of what you were expecting. That night, you were simply emotionally exhausted and just crashed, almost immediately falling asleep in the safety and comfort of her arms. You couldn’t even resist it and tell her no, that it wasn’t supposed to be like this. That you shouldn’t be her burden as well.

~~~~~

Your parents left to go on a business trip two days after your biopsy. Which, the doctor said it was perfectly fine because it wasn’t a major procedure, per se, it sucked not having anyone around just in case. It was now the end of October, weather was getting chilly and you were anticipating another flare up of your pain in the ribs. You hadn’t talked to AJ since the morning of the biopsy and you didn’t plan to any time soon. You just didn’t want to. You didn’t feel like dragging her on further in the mess of a life you now had. She hasn’t texted you since two nights ago, anyway.

You were suddenly pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a string of knocks on your front door. Lazily getting up to go open it after vaguely seeing a familiar face in the peephole, AJ walks in. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” You told her with a straight face, “I’m in pain all over somehow and bloated from all the gas they had to pump into me to separate my bowels from the location of the tumor. So I’m nauseous. But hey, you don’t need to know that. You shouldn’t need to know that.” You went off on a tangent about how she shouldn’t be caring so much because you couldn’t give her much, how she should just go live her life instead of spending so much time with you moping around.

“y/n, you are so—”

“I’ve heard it all already, you don’t have to tell me again: ‘whiny, weak, disgusting, lazy, stupid, crazy’. Take your pick, AJ.”

“What?” She stops you, holding onto your wrist, you flinch because of a bruise left by failed IV plug setting attempts.

“I don’t need love. What I need is a fucking break from this fucking life that’s turned into some sort of survival game.” You scoffed, “Let go of my wrist.”

She immediately loosens her grip, watching you with eyes filled with pure concern and heartache.

“I have been poked and prodded probably hundreds of times in my week in the hospital. Most I’ve ever had been in my entire life, I’ve never felt more worthless because of how much of my dignity I’ve thrown out of the window. I cried to my nurse, my mom found it hilarious. I was in pain, trying to sleep when some other patient started spewing their guts so I got a panic attack. My mom scolded me for it, she didn’t want to be there. She wanted to be at home. I’ve never spent so much time away from home, my family. People who were supposed to care about me. They left me there alone, the first chance they could. No one texted me to check on me, I felt like I was just abandoned there. Then you come in here and do everything the opposite— I don’t know how— to take it. I can’t— I can’t do this to you, AJ. You deserve better than this.”

She started to cry the more you revealed to her, absolutely heartbroken and horrified by nearly every word you said. Still, she tenderly held your face in her hand, swiping your tears away. “I love you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been anywhere with you if I didn’t.”

You shook your head, swallowing that painful lump in your throat, backing away from her.

“Listen to me and remember what I’m telling you.” She stepped forward, looking at your hands then taking ahold of them, “I love you. I don’t care what the fuck life throws at you, I will be here for you. I can’t take your pain away but I will do whatever I can to make your day better. If you need anything, if you need me there, call me. Text me, show up at my door. I don’t care. You are not alone. You are not going through all of this alone. I care. I fucking love you, y/n. Don’t give up.”

The rest of that day was a complete blur. You cried until you couldn’t and probably passed out. In her arms, yet again. When you woke up again, the sun was about to set. “Hi.” She greets you with a smile. “Hi.” You mumbled.

“What’s the matter? Do you feel sick?” Instantly, she picks up on it, rushing to your side.

“A bit. I don’t know why—”

“It’s okay.” She rubs your back, leading you to the couch, kicking the plastic trash can to your feet in the process.

“I don’t want to.” You sniffled.

“I’ll be right here, baby.” She says softly, still rubbing your back, “I got you, you’re okay.”

The sickening feeling kept building up, and it eventually gets to the point where you could no longer fight it. Bending over, you spilled what little you had in your stomach into the bin. Tears pricked at your eyes and fell against your will, your arm splints your sore procedure sites and stomach. AJ was not the least bit fazed, continuing to rub your back and tell you that you were fine. You got that bin out of your sight as soon as you felt okay enough to not need it anymore, then, she was beside you again. “Do you think you can stomach some water?”

You shrug, curling up in a corner of the couch and staring into blank space. “Popsicle?”

“Okay.” You exhaled, “I’ll…I’ll try.”

She got you comfortable in her embrace, flipping through TV channels for you to get your mind off things. You wanted nothing but her, being in her arms was the best feeling you could ever have.

~~~~

Over the next year, you suffered from two recurrences of the tumor, or disease— used interchangeably by your doctors. And so you and AJ have become incredibly familiar with the processes. Pre, during and post-procedure. You detested the familiarity, you’ve had enough. You were numb at this point, but now had a fear of hospitals and having to be admitted. Some days, you questioned it all. But AJ was there to make sure you were okay. You also made sure she was okay on days where you were feeling better. You were surprise to have made it past a year with AJ, but you were feeling so immensely grateful for that girl. She was your rock through it all…someone that was once a stranger, was now the single most important person in your life. Your parents were there, but only because they had to be there, because they had to sign the papers, to pay for the appointments and procedures. They may ask how you were, but you could tell they weren’t willing. And you got that, you would be sick and tired of that too. You couldn’t blame them, but you were hurt.

This day marked your second clear MRI scan, no sign of recurrence. You were the happiest you’d been in awhile, once home, you immediately attacked her with a kiss which turned into a heated makeout session. Then, more.

“Are you sure?” She asks, palm resting on your stomach.

“Yeah.” You confirmed, “I want this.”

“Okay.” She agrees. “Sit up, and lean against the headboard okay? I don’t want to hurt you by straddling you.”

You do as she tells you to, and she starts to pepper kisses all over your body. Every single inch of it, slow and gentle and so, so loving. AJ was practically worshipping your body, it made your head giddy with pleasure soon enough. Smoothly, she slide of your shorts and underwear, then your shirt. It was clear she wanted to do more, and she did. “You okay?”

“Yep.” Your breathing hitches when she starts to suck at a certain spot on your neck. She picks up on that and keeps working that spot over.

You exhaled harshly, “Fuck.”

“Is that good, baby?”

You nodded, throwing your head back more to allow her easier access. Her hand makes its way to your chest, pushing your bra down on one side, she decided to give your tit a squeeze. You yelped, chuckling eventually. She grins, pinching your nipple and easily drawing out a soft moan which she quickly swallows with a kiss, “That’s it, baby. Let me hear you.”

Fuck.

The wetness between your thighs becomes so noticeable, it made you terribly shy. So much so that when her hand finally makes its way down south, your cheeks were flushed with a deep red hue. AJ laughs, “Aw.” Her middle finger teases your folds as she speaks, making you whimper, rutting your hips against her hand needily. “Let me do the work, baby…” She purrs, “You just sit there and make those pretty, pretty noises for me? How about that?”

With that being said, her hand leaves that area between your legs. And she presses a trail of wet, passionate kisses to your torso. Knowing that your scars were all in plain sight to her made you feel a little…ugh. But then again, she was driving you nuts cooing and complimenting everything about you. No one’s ever made you feel so wanted. “Hey.” She says quietly, “Look at me, baby.”

“No.” She licked your lips, looking up at the ceiling while she was on her stomach, face comfortably between your legs.

“Look at me, honey.” She repeated, “I get that it’s hard, so I don’t want you to feel like you have to finish. Or do anything more than this. I can stop. Alright?” Her hands caresses your inner thigh, you feel that warmth. You’d sobered up a little, but enough to fight the desire for her to make you climax. For the very first time. You locked eyes with her, she looks at you, patiently waiting for an answer. “Keep going.”

“Yeah?” She asks, hand squeezing your thigh lightly. You simply give her a nod, she instantly starts to work you up again, then you soon feel her fingers teasing your entrance. She pushes one in smoothly, hooking it upward to hit your sensitive spot inside. You whine softly, she keeps doing it and you got louder. Once you felt ready, in came her second finger without a hitch.

“Just…just like that.” You moaned, “Oh, God, AJ—”

“Keep going, baby. Sounds like music to my ears.” She says lowly. Oh, shit. That really made you feel something.

With her fingers steadily pumping in and out of you, and her thumb hitting your clit and just the right amount of pressure. You were closer then ever to that climax, feeling that fluttering in your core.

“I— oh, my God— oh— so good, fuck.” Your hips start to lift up, and she pulls her fingers out. You objected with a whine. But not for long, because holy shit, she puts her mouth on you. You saw it, you felt it. But you couldn’t exactly believe it. It felt like you had ascended into an entirely different dimension. How gentle she was. The warmth, the closeness. Her gaze locked in with yours. You were going feral, and becoming like putty beneath her without much effort. Your mind was emptied, and filled with nothing but the need to come. The need to feel more of her.

You twitched in her mouth, feeling yourself clenching around her fingers. She groans at the abrupt tightness but then grins, picking up her pace just enough to chase your high. Your knuckles turn white from gripping the sheets, breathing slowly getting heavier by the second as you approached the edge. You feel the coil tightening quicker and quicker, until you just had to let it go. “AJ, I’m gonna—” You couldn’t even finish your sentence, toes curling as you unraveled, “Shit—”

She begins slowing down gradually to let you ride out every last wave of it, eventually caressing your inner thighs and peppering kisses all over them before working her way up to your lips while wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand. “That was intense.” You laughed deliriously.

“I know.” She cracked a smile, “Do you feel alright?”

“Mm, yeah.” You hummed, kissing her again. She cups your cheek, smooching you again too. “That was amazing.”

She grins, “You were pretty fucking amazing.” You blushed, she said, “Oh, look at that.”

You chuckled in response, she slowly eased you onto the mattress properly so that she could cuddle with you. “I told you. You’ll be okay.” AJ says, “And you are. No matter what, I’m always here.”

“I don’t say this enough and I’m so sorry.” You snuggled closer to her, “Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me, for every minute you’ve chosen to spend with me. You mean the world to me and I can never thank you enough. I love you so much.”

“I know you do, baby. I know. Don’t be sorry about things you can’t control. I know you love me, you may now tell me that but you show it one way or another: making sure I don’t sleep through my alarms even on days where you’re not feeling your best, making me a drink, my favourite meal, running me a bath…just about anything you do means so much because I know how much effort and energy it takes you to do them, but you still do them. You still wake up, most days by my side, living another day. You are so strong, my love.”

“Fuck.” You laughed but end up in tears, “I love you, AJ. I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you more, honey.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭 A/N: I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post this fic because of how personal (and traumatic) some details are. It started off as a draft for me to vent, but I simplified most of it and decided to share it after all. Hope it wasn’t too much🤧 ok g’night, I’ve got work tomorrow afternoon and it’s past midnight🤡

#auli'i cravalho #aj campos #aj campos x reader #crush(2022)#hulu crush #reader insert #x reader #female reader #reader imagine #gxg #wlw #sickfic #vent?#sfw wlw #queer fiction #fanfiction

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