#I am again sorry it's several days later but it took a while to write ok
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I had this interesting scenario where Vox one day becomes exhausted from his rivalry with Alastor after realizing that the one-sided interactions were becoming old. He later meets the reader (who can also be a part of the hotel) who starts hacking into Voxtech's database to troll the company for shits and giggles. This catches Vox's attention and he's pissed about it. You can do what you want for the rest but they continue to have this rivalry to the point where it's very well known around hell. From an outside perspective, there is just back-and-forth angry banter but there are moments where they're just;
Reader: *appears on screen* Hey Box head, guess who found some good blackmail with your name on it- Vox: *Is so close to having a breakdown, he had a bad week.* Reader: Oh shit- did something happen, are you okay? 😰
They hate each other but they don't hate hate each other. This can be taken as platonic or romantic. I sent this request to someone else but I wanted to share anyway.
Vox x troll/hacker reader: Why So Blue? (Oneshot/concept version)
Why So Blue fic Masterlist
A/N me when I get to write Vox getting utterly humiliated by a troll-y hacker demon 🫶
I changed about the order of stuff as things happen a bit and took creative liberties with this one - sorry if it's really different then the thought you originally had.
(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, THIS WAS FROM THE LAST TIME THEY WERE OPEN)
Update: This was really well-received, and several people have requested a part 2. I've decided that I will be writing it properly from the start in a proper chapter kind of way rather than in this format so it makes continuity kind of work better rather then the drabbl-y format used here.
Cw: SFW, romantic, enemy's to lovers type beat, references to one-sided radiostatic, also references to staticmoth, mildly suggestive in one part 💀, gn reader, mostly light-hearted - idk if it qualifies as quite hurt/comfort lmao
- It was just a normal morning for Vox when you first showed up.
- As usual, he booted up for the day, got changed out of his casual clothes, and made his morning coffee.
- As he walked into his computer room, absentmindedly sipping his coffee while looking at his phone, he sits down in his desk.
- Then promptly spits out his mouthful.
- When he finally looks up at the screens around him, he's mortified to see a muted video of himself passionately (and very drunkly) singing and dancing horribly from last night while he was out with Valentino and Velvette.
- Posted on Sinstagram from his own account.
- Hundreds of comments flooded in underneath it; laughing, saying it's cute, complimenting his singing, and talking about the caption underneath with curiosity.
- The caption reads; 'For someone who talks so big about being ahead technologically, it was awfully easy to hack old Boxy here LMAO'
- Vox flips out instantly.
- It doesn't take long to take down the post, change all of his details, and post an official apology for his lack of professionalism with a hypnotising message to forget the whole incident occurred at all. He also does a massive comb over for any other breaches and changes all of his systems to be even more impenetrable to a potional attack.
- He calms down, and the incident fades away to the back of his mind.
- But then it happens again.
- Another morning, an employee is rushing into his studio as he wakes up properly, telling him this time that someone is somehow broadcasting Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' to the entirety of hell at 6 am, interrupting every one of the scheduled programs.
- There's a message in big letters on the bottom of every screen in hell, under the god forsaken video and song playing, saying, "What is love~? - U" Underneath them.
- And that's how it starts, the infuriating thorn in Vox's side that is 'U'. No matter how hard he tries, you're constantly undermining his efforts to keep you out of the system and tormenting him in ways that aren't necessarily malignant but are extremely damaging to his image as the overlord of technology.
- For some reason, he's the only Vee you seem hellbent on coming after as well. Vel finds your pranks funny or cute when they don't inconvenience her, and Valentino just likes to prod Vox into getting angrier further.
- He just cannot work out what your motivations are at all. Is it truly that you just want to piss him off? He doesn't understand why someone with such clear skills would simply use them to taunt him and leave him messages to unveil as he undoes whatever you do.
- It vexes him even farther when these messages from you that you leave for him to decode start to sound borderline flirtatious, which makes him feel all the more humiliated.
- He is a grown demon, skilled businessman and entrepreneur, an overlord, and yet you insist upon calling him things like Box, Boxbabe, Boxbitch, and even babygirl of all things for some goddamn reason.
- The back and forth goes on for months, and 'U' quickly becomes a long lasting meme, several people, much to Vox's horror, shipping you two together and even partaking in ship wars as to whether Vox x 'U' is better then Vox x Val.
- Theres one day where Vox quickly puts his phone down after reading a rather concerning expert from what is certainly explicit fanfiction between the two of you, even him deciding that that's enough internet for today while just sitting staring off into space silently for a solid 10 seconds.
- Vox's sleepless nights pouring over his code to try and keep out your attacks, him glitching out whenever he finds infuriating messages left by you, etc. Begin to become routine and he just anticipates the consistent blows to his pride you give him at every turn.
- A weird, unconscious part of him deep down begins to enjoy your rivalry, almost wanting to see what punches you pull out next to disarm his constant losing battle to keep you out, but it gets squashed down the second he becomes aware of it.
- The rivalry is always at arms length, but sometimes he has to stop himself from replying with the same vaguely flirtatious tone you take on whenever he experiences a small win against you.
- He fights to make sure he doesn't have any potential of getting too into it.
- Things take a different turn, though, with the double blow of Alastor coming back and his on-off relationship with Valentino once again going up in flames.
- After stopping his usual monitoring of all things going on in hell online and in real life as picked up by his cameras, he presses his face into his hands with a long, exhausted groan as he fights crying.
- All the people he was actually interested in were as unrequited as per usual. He always tried so hard with Alastor, but as always, he never got anything but met with the clear reminder they would never be anything more.
- And, of course, any potential of anything more happening with Val was completely off the table. It would be stupid to even think about anything real with him.
- He shut his eyes, putting his screen on the desk in front of him.
- Was he just not worth it? Was that it?
- He startled when he heard the familiar crackle of the speakers coming to life around him. It was rare he ever heard your voice coming through his speakers, you usually preferring to just leave messages, however you decided to surprise him tonight apparently.
- Your blurred out face appears on the screens, only showing the lower half of your grinning face.
- "Oh Boooooxybooooy! I found some world-shattering cringey shit you did 2 months back, i-" You begin singing out, before stopping, seeing by his expression.
- Vox was trembling, looking as if he was about fall apart at any second. His monitor was dulled, red eyes half lidded with pixelated bags forming under them, his bottom lip slightly quivering around his sharp teeth.
- "What the- fuck- ....are you alright?" You asked unsurely.
- Vox finally snapped out of it, realising that you were here witnessing him in a way that was very much not something he wanted you of all people to see him in. His mask slid back on, but it was hardly convincing.
- "Of course it is. What the fuck do you wa-ant. I've got shit to do." He inwardly cursed as his voice glitched slightly. God fucking dammit why did you have to show up.
- He watched your lips on your mostly blurred out face slightly curl as you hummed, clearly not buying it.
- "You wanna stop with the lying bullshit and tell me the truth, Boxhead?" You somewhat chided him, your hand coming into sight as you leaned your cheek onto it. Vox let out a growling sound, going to spit some vitriol at you, but was cut off as you absentmindedly made your next comment.
"Felt you once again have a fit about the radio demon going online. Lights in my house and the houses out my windows started flashing and shit. Is it hi-" your brows shot up and eyes widened, this hidden behind the censorship as you watched Vox, leader of the Vees, your rival, let out a shuddering breath and actually start crying comically pixilated tears right before your eyes.
- Vox's claws gripped into his desk as he grit his teeth as he let out a gasping breath he fought to stifle. He was so goddamn exhausted that he just couldn't be assed to keep it all up anymore. It wasn't like you hadn't seen rather unsavoury things he'd been trying to hide anyways.
- "No shit it's about Alastor. It's always about him. Does it get you off knowing I can't get with the guy I have always wanted no matter how hard I try? There. Are you fucking happy now?" His voice cracks as he snarls the words out at you.
- You let out a long humming sound, as if thinking. "I mean, not really. I'd only be happy if you were this upset over me, not some old hazbin radio announcer who fell off years ago." You shrug with a slightly sad smile.
- Vox squinted at you, confused.
- "I mean, come on, I'm your rival too. Why neglect me so much in all this?" You press your bottom lip out in mock sadness, tone mocking again. Your words are true despite the joking tone however, it did bother you that he always seemed so much more ready to go running after the most obviously aroace man you think you had seen in your entire fucking life.
- Vox couldn't believe what he was hearing, hot embarrassment caused his monitor to start heating up a bit, painting animated flush over his cheeks. "Oh, stop taking the piss, U. Fuck off." He scoffed, rolling his eyes, looking to the side in irritation.
- You chuckle at him, shaking your head and causing the thing blurring your face to shake with it. "Is it really that hard to believe I'm into what we have going on here?" Your voice is still lined with the usual tone you take on with him, but much less so.
- Vox looks back at your blurred, smiling face incredulously. "Yes." He growled, blinking his tears away as he regained his composure a bit.
- You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes. "Ooookay, well, once you're done riding the coattails of a man who will never want you, come hit me up, Boxhead." You say through smiling lips, before abruptly pressing 'hang up' on the call so he didn't have time to actually respond.
- Vox sat in bewildered silence, not able to react properly as his brain felt as if it was working on low resolution comprehending what you just said.
- His face heated up the more he thought about it, heart beginning to hammer in his chest as he laughed in disbelief. No way. No fucking way.
- But you had said it.
- Despite his usual pessimistic nature, he allowed himself to actually believe it, chuckling.
- He looked over to his phone as a notification sound rang out to see a photo of himself presumably just now; flustered, eyes wide in disbelief and unfocused while staring off into space, a crooked grin on his face.
- It was captioned as follows; 'POV: local pathetic radio simp finds out other rival actually wants him'
- "FUCK." He yelled out in embarrassment, knocking out several of his monitors with a surge of electricity.
I loved writing this sm omfggg.
There's definitely part 2 potential to this one, but it would have to be in a while w all the other stuff I'm gonna get to first.
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oh yes i meant when the reader is pregnant if u can, not in a nsfw way im sorry i made it unclear😭
Dragon Hunter Mother Part 4
(Arlecchino x Fem! Reader)
A/N -Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 It is once again dragon time, guys. I've written three dragon-related things straight 😩. The part you guys have been waiting for. Actual romance, hell yeah. Extra fluff for that one annoying moot (you know who you are 😡). It’s a bit short compared to the other parts for this series, but probably because there's no new lore dump. Guys, I’ve thought so far into this au, please feel free to ask questions about this AU outside of requests. I am dying to talk about random bits of lore I made up (such as Arle's backstory that I won't be able to write). Also this isn't the end. Because there is going to be a Part 5. What the fuck, guys /j. Hi anons!! Yes, you can be 🦊 anon and 👅anon. I'm sorry for how late this was first anon, I know I kept you for a while 😭. Also I'm sorrry for not being able to fulfil parts of your request because a) jealous arle wouldn't make sense given the worldbuilding, and b) i don't write nsfw of any kind. Sorry. I'm not going to include how exactly you're pregnant because it makes me uncomfortable writing it, so I'll just leave it up to your interpretation. Please don't let these discourage you from requesting from me :). I always try my best to satisfy every request as long as it's reasonable and within my rules. Content warnings / info - no warnings :), 1.8k words
Recovering from the infected wound didn't take long–in fact, it only took a week to be fully healthy, and the wound was healing nicely. Arlecchino was able to take care of everything while you were bedridden. You were surprised by how diligent and aware she seemed to be of taking care of you, especially as a dragon, but you didn't question it. She has had several decades of experience before you, you wouldn't be surprised if she picked up on a few things about humans.
It's been about four months since the dragon hunters incident, and you have yet had another situation like that. Venturing into the town you had previously been going to was no longer safe, and so you began frequenting another bordering village. It was a bit further away, but because it turned out to be a port town, it ended up providing you with a lot more food and resources you previously couldn't access; including: fresh fish, more meat and produce, and more clothes and fabric.
The trio have grown big enough to which you ride on top of one of them with no difficulty. They not only increased in size, but also their affection for you, crawling into your lap or climbing your back, or simply pouncing on any limb and holding onto you tightly. The same could be said for you, you no longer saw them as children, but your children. Arlecchino tells you that they refer to you as ‘Mother’ often.
Speaking of Arlecchino, she is no longer the standoffish dragon she was before the dragon hunters incident. On certain days, she can be just as clingy, if not more, than the children, although she would vehemently deny it with a scoff if you are to ever bring it up. Over time, she was less dragon, and more human to you, and with that, your attraction towards her continued to blossom. Your current relationship status with her is still strange, neither of you had ever labeled it on human standards, nor have the two of you ever ‘courted’ one another–in human or in draconic methods. Still, neither the two of you could miss the glances or the way you hold each other.
Lately, the past few weeks, she has been acting strange. She's been exiting the cave more often alone, leaving you with her children to tend to, not that you mind. She returns hours later, usually with some type of wild animal she caught for you: deer, the occasional bear or moose, sometimes even pigs. You often stand at the entrance of the cave, dumbfounded as she drags the dead creature by her teeth in her dragon form, while the hatchlings salivate. If it's not wild animals, it's usually an arrangement of different colored stones she found along the shores or in the river. You appreciate them, but you're no less puzzled by the intention with each gift.
You tried to wrack your brain of why she would be behaving like this, but you can’t come up with anything. It also seemed like with every gift you received, she became more and more… saddened? You weren't entirely sure for the reason, but you don't want to offend her by questioning her more. As the weeks pass by, and she disappears more and more, it seems like Arlecchino is… moping.
You have asked the children multiple times, but all they do is give you a pointed look before jerking their head towards their Father and letting out a rumble. When you approach Arlecchino, asking what was troubling her, all she does is shake her head, her subtle pout ever so slightly intensifying. Finally, having enough of Arlecchino staring blankly at her hands for hours straight, you finally come up to her, taking her clawed hands in yours and gaze into her eyes.
“Arlecchino. Tell me what's wrong,” you demand gently but firmly, kissing her knuckles.
The dragon stays silent, turning away from you, making your eye twitch.
“Please…” You plead.
Arlecchino seems hesitant to answer, opening her mouth before closing it several times. She contemplates something deeply, then lets out a steady exhale.
“I've been… making courting attempts towards you,” she quietly admits, her cheeks flushing the slightest amount. “But… it seems like you're unreceptive to it because you're human.”
Courting attempts? As if she was trying to establish a romantic relationship with you? No, it’s not courting as in ‘human courting.’ If it has to do with dragons, then perhaps it means–
“You… you want me as your mate?” You whisper out loud, your face undeniably warm at the realization, and your lips quirk up to the faintest smile.
The dragon nods timidly, so unbefitting for a strong beast like herself. She peers at you intently, searching and analyzing every twitch of your face to come up with her own answer. You let out a huff, raising your arms to cup the sides of her face in your palms. The cold texture of her skin will never be an unwelcome sensation.
“You could have told me instead of pouting like one of our children,” you chuckle, stepping closer to lean your forehead against her chest, feeling her thumping heart through it.
“I didn't know if you wanted to be since… you never responded to my attempts. I know that it's silly seeing that you're human, but I felt more and more discouraged…” Her voice is low and vulnerable, and it makes you want to do nothing more but hold her in your arms forever.
“You really still have so many things to learn about humans,” you giggle, pressing your lips against her nose. Fingers card through Arlecchino's silky locks, and you hum contently.
“What do you mean?”
You grin knowingly. “We like more direct expressions of our desires.”
You stand on your tiptoes before leaning in, warm lips gracing cold ones as you pull her towards you. Your arms lock around her neck, keeping the two of you against each other. Quickly, Arlecchino responds, pressing her mouth against yours fervently while her fangs prick your bottom lip. You groan into the kiss, and squeak when her hands slide down to your behind, lifting you up from your feet and wrapping your legs around her waist.
The two of you pull away, and there's almost a feral look in her eyes.
“There's somewhere I have to take you to,” she growls in your ear, and you can't deny that it makes your stomach coil, your loins burning.
“Okay…” You murmur, holding onto her tightly. She carries you with ease, walking out of the cave and following along the edge of the mountain's base. It takes only about ten minutes until you spot a small opening, another cavern. Arlecchino takes you inside, and your eyes widen at the sight.
It's a nest, a careful structure supported by stones as the foundation with the sides from branches and sliced tree trunks, before the top is covered in an assortment of blankets and pillows. However, it's smaller and cozier than the nest at home–as if it's made for humans. You carefully step into it, sitting down and finding it pleasantly comfortable.
“Arlecchino…” you gasp out with whispered awe.
“Yes…?”
“Where did you get the money for this?” You question, holding a heap of the numerous silk blankets in your arms, giving her a pointed look knowing damn well it wasn't your money.
The dragon brings a claw to her face and scratches nervously. “I had Lyney search the bodies of the dragon hunters for anything of value. They had quite a hefty sum,” Arlecchino confesses.
You sigh in relief, glad that no weaver or innocent person was harmed in getting this. “It's lovely. Is this what you've been leaving the cave for for so long?”
Arlecchino nods, her voice bashful. “It's… it's a mating nest, so that if it were to happen the children would not be there. I wanted to ask you here…”
The dragon walks inside the nest, before kneeling down before you, her clawed hands gingerly finding yours and holding them in her large palms. “Would you like to be my mate?”
“I thought my answer was obvious. Of course,” you answer, smiling. “But isn't mating season in another two months?”
She nods in response. “I wanted to prepare as early as possible. I wanted everything to be perfect.” ‘For you,’ she leaves out, but you know it's what she implies.
“It is perfect. Thank you… though I feel bad,” you murmur, your own face flustered by your embarrassment. “It took me this long to realize. I guess… I should make it up to you by courting you back, right?”
Arlecchino flushes, her face visibly reddening. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… you've courted me with how dragons usually do it. I will do the same, but with humans. Does that sound alright?” You offer, giving her the largest grin.
Arlecchino's face softens, leaning down and pressing her forehead against you. “Yeah… yeah, that sounds alright,” she murmurs against your lips.
—
Three months have passed by since then.
Safe to say, you’re pregnant.
Arlecchino’s attentiveness towards you had always been impressive, but it borders on extreme with how much she pampers you. Before the mating season, you've taught her all you can about human civilization and socialization so that in the instance you won't be able to travel to town yourself, she can instead. While you always have saved up a lot of money from your time as a dragon hunter, she likes to spend it on you unreservedly.
It would be endearing if it weren't the excessive amount of blankets in the nest, as if you weren't warm enough. Not to mention the amount of books she's gotten you. Since she doesn't exactly know how to navigate a bookstore, or how to differentiate between different genres of books, she’s gotten you dictionaries, children's book, erotica even. She was blissfully unaware why you read a page for a few seconds, shut the book immediately, took a deep breath before reopening the book, only to reshut it as well, repeating the same process. You didn't want her to get any… ideas.
Currently, Arlecchino was in her dragon form, nestled around you protectively from any gusts of wind that may pass through the cave entrance, her tail thumping against the floor softly. Her head rests besides you, her throat rumbling gratifyingly as you run your hand over her snout.
The trio are currently fighting over some of the beef jerky you mistakenly bought for them, unaware of the chaos it would ensue in the cave. They seem to forget that you can return to the town to buy them more… Ah well, hatchlings will be hatchlings.
You wonder how much more lively the cave will be with another one.
#arlecchino x you#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact fanfics#genshin impact fics#genshin fanfics#genshin fics#edgeray.writes#edgeray.requests#edgeray.🦊anon#edgeray.👅anon
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Love in a Hopeless Place
Chapter 12
Hey! I'm so sorry that this chapter took a while! This week was a lot and smut takes a lot of energy for me to write because I care about the details and all. But now it is here! Also, I was gonna put a more cute/loving gif of Lucifer for for this one but then I saw this was and I couldn't stop laughing, so here we are. Enjoy~
Chapter 11|Chapter 12 (FINAL CHAPTER)
Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 5.3 k CW: Slowburn, Angst, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, depression, anxiety, insecurity, kissing, SMUTTTT (penetration, oral, handjobs, sub/dom, sex toys)
By the end of the day, all your things had been moved over to the hotel. Lucifer had offered to put your things in his room, but you had asked for your own, both because you wanted to have your stuff separate for now... and part of you wanted a separate place to be if you after Lucifer ever had issues come up. You didn't anticipate it happening, but the anxiety that came with a new relationship, especially your first healthy one, left you needing some time to adjust. Lucifer, being the good man that he was, respected it, but not without a little pouting, but you reassured him that you would still be spending every night sleeping by his side.
By the end of the day, you were tired, and honestly, so was Lucifer. The physical and emotional toll of the day had caught up to the both of you and you went to bed early that night. Snuggling up in each other's arms.
The next morning, Lucifer woke up early, excited, with a plan for the day. Lucifer got up and got dressed for the day, gave you a swift kiss on the lips as you laid half awake in bed and whispered, "I have some things I need to do today, but see you later. Ok? You're booked out with me starting dinner time, got it?" You nodded sleepily. He kissed you again, deeper this time. "I love you, Duckie." And then he left to go pick up supplies for his plan with you later.
A little bit later, you finally woke up and laid in Lucifer's- Lucifer and YOUR's bed... that would take some while to get used to. You heard a faint sound of commotion down in the lobby. You decided to get up to see what all the commotion was about, throwing on a basic shirt and shorts. It had been forever since you had gotten to have a slow day and wear clothes that weren't required to make you look like a sex toy, the change was really nice.
You skip downstairs to come face to face with a couple of familiar faces... some of your friends from the brothel! Gemma, Natalie, and Katrina, had all come also wanting to move into the hotel and give redemption a try. They saw how Lucifer and the others had fought for you, and they wanted in on that kind of support, even if they were still going to work at the brothel. You hugs them all and cried happy tears.
"You, uhhh... wouldn't be willing to spare one more hug, would ya, Babydoll?" You turned around at the familiar voice to see Larry standing behind you.
"Larry!" you hugged him, "What are you doing here?"
"Well.." he said sheepishly, "Truthfully, I've been losing the heart to run that brothel over the last several decades... Although business is already up a lot since it got out the Lucifer used my place, haha! We will see what happens... I am still running it, but... I might not be trying to find any new girls is all. Learning about this hotel here... gave me something else to try out... if... you are ok with me being here... that is..."
You smiled at Larry and hugged him again, "Of course I am! Every sinner is welcome here! Just one thing though... my new boyfriend might not be too fond of you calling me Babydoll anymore."
Larry laughed, "Fair enough, wouldn't want to upset him, I already know what that looks like, yeeshh," he said playfully pulling at his collar, "How about just 'doll'?" You nodded with a laugh, "That should work". You helped Larry and the other girls move in most of the day. Luckily you were distracted enough that you did not see Lucifer pop in and out the the hotel several times with supplies.
Eventually it came dinner time and you went off to your own room, to shower and get dressed for the event with Lucifer that night. You walked into your room to find a beautiful black and red dress with matching shoes and a bag next to it with a note saying:
Got you a little something for our first official date, I hope you like it. Love, Luci <3
Your heart swelled, you had no idea how your life had ended up like this, but you were the happiest you had ever been. You sighed happily and went to take a quick shower, did your hair with simple makeup and put on the dress. It fit your dimensions perfectly, like scary perfectly, and had no tag.
Did he have this made for you? This was going to be a lottttt to get used to, you were dating a King. Oh my god, you were dating a King. No... you were dating Lucifer, he could have been a sinner just like anyone else and it wouldn't matter to you. He could fall to an even darker pit of Hell and you would follow him. This must have been how Lilith felt all those years ago. You finished getting ready and you heard a knock on your door at your usual time.
You went to go open the door and saw Lucifer standing in front of you, wearing a more simple suit that was still just as sexy as his normally outfit, but with more black and red details to match you. As you catch his view, he catches yours, and you both look at each other with jaws agape as you take in each other's beauty. Lucifer was so happy that the dress fit you, and in all. the. right. ways. He gave you a prideful smile.
"I'm glad I got the measurements correct," he said with a smirk.
"So it was custom made, how did you know my dimensions?" you smirked back at him.
Lucifer raked his eyes up and down your body, "I'm just... good with spacial awareness." He wiggled his eyebrows.
You chuckled and nodded with a cheeky smile, "Wow, I never thought such a nerdy sentence could sound so hot~" you purred.
Lucifer got a little flustered, "Oh shut up," he grabbed your hand and putted you into a deep kiss. You two stood in the kiss and embrace for a few minutes before Lucifer pulled away, breathing heavily.
"I don't want to get too ahead of myself, we have an itinerary to keep to" Lucifer says as he taps his cane on the floor. Before you can ask what he meant, he teleports the both of you to a secluded room with large windows that overlook the Pride Ring, music softly playing in the background, Swan Lake.
You looked at the view and smiled, "All this for me?" you ask.
"Oh this is just the beginning of our night, my love. And yes, you deserve this and much much more," he kissed both of your hands before taking you to your chair. You and Lucifer ate dinner together, spent hours listening to music, flirting, and eventually got up and started dancing together. This made Lucifer think about how things used to be with Lilith, but he could appreciate that it was different, it was with you.
He dips you and kisses you deeply, running his hands down your frame. His body had been aching for yours all day during the preparations for the night, but he knew he had to be patient just a little longer. We wanted so desperately to claim you, but also, to fill you with all the love and pleasure that he could muster. It was the least you deserved.
Lucifer pulls his head back to be able to look at you as you look up at him, his eyes full of love as he smiled down at you, "I love you my darling, and from this day on, I will make sure you never go a day in your life where you doubt that."
You felt tears well in your eyes, "I love you too, King of Hell, King of my heart. I will do everything in my power to be by your side and love you." You kiss him again as he ends the dip, standing you back upright.
"Are you ready for the rest of the evening?" He said with some flirty mischief in his eyes, wiggling his eyebrows again.
You tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, "Oh I am."
Lucifer tapped his cane and you both teleported back to the hotel, in front of your door. "I have one more outfit for you tonight, get changed and come to our room in ten minutes," he asked trying to hide the excitement in his eyes at his plans for you. You nodded.
Lucifer kisses you again, deeper than all of the others, barely able to keep himself from taking you right there in the hallway. He parts and walks back to the room he called both of yours. You smiled and watched him walk away before going into your room. On the bed was another new outfit, who had put that there while you were gone? It was Angel, Angel wanted to help
On your bed, was a simple but elegant robe, the type of robe you would find at a spa or something, and nothing else. What was he up to? Before putting on the robe you also put on a set of lingerie that you had gotten a while ago, just for him to see if he had ever wanted to have sex with you back when he was still paying for your time, but now he got to see it for free, and that made you even happier.
You slipped on the robe, and after ten minutes, you walked down to your shared room with Lucifer and knocked on the door. Lucifer called for you to come in, and you opened the door to the room filled with lit candles, rose petals on the floor, a table over on the side that had stuff on it covered in a cloth, and Lucifer standing near the side of the bed, also wearing a robe that matched yours, this hat and cane off to the side. All you were able to see was his chest exposed down to the V in the robe and his black arms up to his elbows and his black legs to to the knee where they started to transition to white.
You laughed as you walked into the room towards Lucifer, "What is all this?"
Lucifer looked you over, Hells he wanted to rip that robe off of you, "Well... I wanted this all to be special. I know I could just toss you on the bed and probably have my way with you but... I want this to feel different... I don't this to feel like just another job... I want it to feel like love."
His words left a pang in your heart, you got close and cupped his face "You don't have to do all of this for me to feel like that, everything about you makes this feel like love... frankly... I struggled most of the time to see you as just a client... after a while I hated that you were because I wanted for it all to be real."
"Just for both of us to find out it was real the whole time," he said as he nuzzled into your hand, "I love you, and I'm going to spend the reset of the night and every day after showing you just how much I do." Lucifer then pulled you into a deep kiss. Both of you start to explore each other's bodies with your hands a little before Lucifer stops you again.
"Hells, you make it so hard to stop, but I have a plan here," he clears his throat, he is already shaking a little out of excitement and nerves, "You have spent a lot time using your body for others and I want to make you feel good, so I was going to give to a message. Does that sound ok?"
You melted, hell he was sweet and really hot, how could he possibly get more hot? "That sounds amazing actually..."
Lucifer's eyes lit up, "Great! And then uhh... whenever we move on to other activities... I may have uhh... gone with Asmodeus to get like... a bunch of new toys! Hahah... we don't have to use them now, if you don't want to. I just wanted us to have options..." he said pointing over at the covered table on the side.
You looked over at the table and then back at him with lust and mischief filled eyes, tucking a hair behind his ear, "We should probably get the massage started before I start perusing those toys," you purred.
Lucifer's face turn red and his loins stir, he gulps hard as he walked you over to the bed. As you laid down, you looked at Lucifer as you slowly shrugged off your robe and tossed it to the side, leaving you in only your lingerie as you laid down on the bed with your back and ass to the sky. Lucifer raked his eyes across your body and gulped hard again, this is the first time he had seen you this exposed since the night you met, and the memories alone did not do you justice.
He jumped up on the bed beside you, swiping your hair away from your back and covering his hands in massage oil before starting to rub into your back, and beginning his goal of feeling every inch of your body with his hands. He started to work his way down your shoulders, neck, lower back, and it felt amazing for him to touch and for you to experience.
As he moved his hands around your curves, he looked for points of tension and pain, and used a little magic to help in aiding his hands in relaxing you and making your body feel good. His touch feels incredible to you, even without the magic, and you can't help but moan and sigh as he worked your muscles. The attention he gave your back alone was already enough to get you turned on, even though you already had been pretty turned of from all the kisses, but you felt yourself starting to get more wet.
Lucifer held back a moan as he hear you start to sigh at the pleasure of his hands on you. He loved that he was making you feel good, making you feel pleasure. He wanted to worship you, your body. Your body was the alter to the entity that he now wanted to worship for the rest of his life. He felt himself already start to get drunk off the feeling of your soft skin, your beautiful muscles and curves. His hands started to explore more down an arm, down to your hand, working at your palm and trailing kisses down from your shoulder to your wrist before moving to the other arm and repeating the process there before doing the same down each leg.
You continue to moan and sigh as he moved across your body. The massage felt so good but your pussy continued to ache for him, every time he got close to your entrance, you started to shake and moan more. This was not lost on Lucifer, he loved seeing you quiver beneath him, and he wanted to badly to just dive into you... but not quite... he needed to torture you a little more.
He quickly snapped the back of your lingerie top and before you had time to talk, he quickly flipped you over and got on top of you. He straddled you as he slowly undid the tie on the front of his robe and slipped it off of him, leaving him completely exposed above you. You were now able to see the entirely of his well sculpted body, chest, back, hips... and his cock that was already hard and erect for you. Hells it looked incredible, you just wanted it in... so many places... He gave you a long and passionate kiss, with some exchanging of saliva between your mouths, tongues exploring each other before he starts to work to massage to front of your body.
The touch on your front was much more sensual thought than it had been on your body. Lucifer slowly kissed down your neck, your collarbone, your chest, down to you breasts. Lucifer removed the lingerie top the rest of the way before massaging around your breasts, playing with your nipples, kissing and nipping around one, before putting his mouth on it and sucking on it. The nerves in your nipples felt like they were on fire and that each flick of his tongue made your loins start to throb as you groaned. You started to weave you finger though his blonde hair tugged at it a little. He took his time before moving over at repeating the process on your other nipple.
You felt like you were going crazy with lust at this point, you had never been so desperate for someone to enter inside of you. You opened your legs a little, hoping for him to take the hint to just dive in... to devour you.
Lucifer chuckled to himself as he felt your legs shift open, he decided it was time to start ending your torment. As he finished his attention on your second breast, he traced a hand down your stomach and down to your mound, moving the fabric of your thong out of the way before starting to tease your entrance.
You start to pant and groan louder, "Luci, baby please... Please touch me... put your fingers in me... I can't take it... Mmmm.... pleas-uhhH!!!!" You moan louder as he cuts you off mid-plea by sliding a finger into you, and starting to pump it in and out. He was now able to feel just how wet you were.
"Mmm, all of this wetness for me? With how much fucking you do, I wouldn't think you would be such a dripping mess for me, I'm so honored," he purred as he stared up at you from your chest, mischievous lust dancing across him face, burning in his eyes. Slowly, Lucifer added a second and then a third finger into your dripping hole as he continued to finger you and he continued to kiss and nip his way down your stomach and down your thighs. curling his fingers up into your G-spot making you cry out with pleasure.
As soon as his mouth reached your thighs, he removed his fingers, getting better access to bite and kiss his way up your thighs towards your dripping mound, he was pussy drunk just looking at your gorgeous entrance. He looked up into your eyes as be positioned his mouth just above your folds.
"Oh my love, every inch of you is the most exquisite and radiant treasure... are you ready for my tongue to ruin you?" Lucifer growled.
"Yes... Luci, yes please... ruin me... eat me..." you whispered.
Lucifer gave you a wicked smile, "Good... because I've been starving since the day I met you, and it's time for me to eat my fill." Lucifer then enclosed his mouth around your folds and starts to swipe his tongue up and down your entrance before plunging his tongue deep into you.
You let out a scream of pleasure as his tongue assaults your entrance, it was incredible and he had barely started. Every touch from him set your body on fire. You grabbed onto Lucifer's golden locks as he lapped at you with a vicious hunger, as if he had not eaten in eons and your juices were his only source of food. Your screams of pleasure made him rock hard and he started to grind his own crotch against the bed to alleviate some of the need.
Seeing this, you make the decision that you wanted to take a more active role in the pleasure. You figure out how to flip Lucifer on his back, which caught him my surprise, and then you crawled up onto him so that you were hoovering your pussy over his face and were able to get access to his dick.
Lucifer grinned wildly at the sight of your mound hoovering above him, and grabbed both of your thighs to encourage you down until his mouth locked onto your folds again and his tongue was about to gain access to the inside of you again.
At the same time, you reached down and grabbed his dick, which caused Lucifer to moan deeply beneath you. As you started to stroke him more, Lucifer moaned more, and started to thrust his hips up into your hand. You guys try to match each other's pace with each other's pace of licking and pumping.
Lucifer pulled out his favorite trick, which was elongating his tongue inside of you and snaking it around until he heard you sharply inhale, indicating that he had once again found the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you. He locked in on that spot and gave it as much attention as he could muster, even though he was finding it a little harder to focus due to the incredible feeling of your gorgeous soft hands on his throbbing shaft.
You and Lucifer continued like this for a while, an symphony of moans and sighs building between the two of you until you couldn't take it anymore, you needed him inside of you.
"Luci... uhhh... baby I need you... Oh hells... I need to feel you inside of me.." You sighed. Without another thought, Lucifer moved his hands up to your stomach and pushed you back onto the bed. He flipped around and crawled up to you, giving you a deep and hungry kiss as he spread your legs apart, finally ripping off your thong completely and discarding to the side so that it would not be in the way anymore. You loved getting lost in the taste of your juices on his tongue.
He broke off for a moment, panting, readying himself, teasing his cock at your entrance. He looked up into your eyes, a fire raging of lust and love as he growled.
"I've wanted this since the moment I saw that gorgeous sinful body of yours, since the day that the divine powers made it so that you were the one that ended up at may door, above anyone else. And now here we are, you naked in my bed, begging to feel the blessings of my cock inside of you? Oh well then I will RUIN you like this every day for the rest of your life, you hear me? This is your eternal punishment now, in my bed, slobbering, drunk off of my cock. Now tell me, darling, tell me what it is you truly desire?!"
You cried out, "I want you to fuck me Lucifer Morningstar!"
And at that, Lucifer started to slide into your entrance. You both moan loudly as you make connection with each other. Lucifer could on contain himself as his wings started to unfold from his back as he railed you. He looked down to see your head thrown back and your eyes rolling, and again he could not contain himself as his demon form emerged. Horns sprouted from his temples, eyes red, claws sharp, and a sharp black tail twisted out from behind him and wrapped its way around one of your thighs.
You looked up to see the new view of his, his angelic an demonic combination of features were so beautiful and terrifying in the sexiest way possible. His hands glided and squeezed along your body, kissing your legs as he held them up. You felt yourself starting to unravel.
"Luci-, oohhh... baby... it's soooo goodd.... I... I'm gonnnaa..." you tried so hard to hold yourself together a little longer.
Lucifer looked down at you with red eyes and growled with a smirk, "Cum for me, baby... let me finally claim that pleasure of yours... I'm so close..."
At his encouragement and growl, you threw your head back and moaned loudly as you felt yourself completely unravel, cumming and contracting around his beautiful cock. As you scream and your walls tightened around Lucifer, he felt himself also come undone as he felt waves of pleasure take him over at he hit his climax, emptying himself into you.
Lucifer then collapsed and rolled over to you side to breathe, "That... was... amazing..." he gasped.
"Ya... it was... fuck..." you weren't ready to had your hands off of him. You pulled him close and started kissing and making out with him again. He rolled back into your embrace to kiss your lips. After a few minutes, hands started to trail around each other's bodies again and you both started to let kisses roam as your bodies grinded against each other. You guys were both ready for another round.
You took Lucifer's shaft back into your hand and you started to pump un and down on it, and it did not take long before it was rock hard again in your hands. You then flipped onto you hands and knees at you continued to stroke his cock, still glistening and wet from your juices. A bead of pre-cum started to form at the tip, which you swiped off with your tongue, causing Lucifer to let out a pitiful moan and grab onto your hair.
"Oh baby... please.." he begged. All of the dominance and power he had earlier was gone, leaving the submissive desperate man you remembered meeting the first night. This reminded you of your plan from that night, you eyes glittered with mischief.
You slid your mouth around the head of his mouth, swirling around the tip before taking as much for his dick into your mouth. Lucifer was already losing it at the tip, but when you dove deeper around him he let out a long pitiful moan.
"Fuccckkkkkkk babyyyyy... ahhhh!!!!" he cried. You continued to pump your mouth up and down his mouth, some times removing your mouth completely to lick up the side from base to tip, and taking his balls into your mouth before returned back to filling your mouth with his cock. After several minutes of this, you stopped and slipped you way off of the bed.
Lucifer looked at you confused and in a happy daze as you walked over the the covered table and removed the cloth. The table was filled with more toys than you had ever seen in your life. The options were limitless, but you were looking for one thing in particular. You scanned the table until you found that you were looking for.
You grabbed a strap on and held it up, and gave a sly smile over to your prey that was still a slobbering mess over on the bed. Lucifer's eyes lit up and he gave you a dazed nod. You then took the strap on and started to secure it to you before strutting back to the bed, letting the shaft sway from side to side.
Lucifer slipped off the bed and got in his knees in front of you, taking the plastic phallus in his mouth to kiss and suck on it as well as the surrounding skin of your hips. You enjoyed the view of Lucifer on his knees in front of you for a minute, before you reach down his hand to tip his face up and make him you up at you.
You smirked at his submissive gaze up at you, "Up. On the bed," you commanded.
Lucifer nodded and scrambled onto the bed on all fours, his back arched and and up and ready for you. You grabbed a small tube from the table before slowly making your way back to the edge of the bed, putting a dollop of lube on your fingers before starting to massage his entrance. He gawked and moaned in response, especially he you started to work a finger in, and then two. It had been forever since Lucifer had been pegged, and hell did he miss it. He loved being at someone else's command, not needing to think for a minute. It was pure bliss.
You then started to spread some lube around the plastic of the strap on tip and shaft, making sure there was enough as not to hurt him. You positioned yourself to tease his entrance while you reached forward and grabbed around his throat, pulling him back, and you whispered in his ear.
"Now... are you ready for me to take you back to Heaven, darling?" you growled in his ear.
"Y-yes... yes mommy," he whimpered before you let go of the grip on his neck and slowly eased yourself into him. Lucifer let out a long moan as you slid into him. He dropped back down to all fours, and as you started pumping, he matched your pace in response. He felt so full and high on the feeling of you inside of him. As he got used to it, you started to pump faster and faster, his moans getting louder and louder. You waved your fingers through his hair, griping it and pulling his head back as you railed him, the grip of his hair making him moan and cry even louder, tears of pleasure running down his cheeks. Lucifer reached down and started to stroke himself as you pounded him. You took his other arm and held it behind him, forcing his face with squish into the bedding, muffling his cries.
After a while, Lucifer couldn't take it anymore, "Baby...oh hells... I need... mmmm... I need to fuck you... I beg of you." It made you so wet to see him like this, to have this power over him and to be pleasuring him in this way.
You cocked your head to the side and stopped you momentum while inside of him, and you pull him back up so you could whisper in his ear, "What is the magic word, Luci?" you purred.
"Mmmm... ahhh... p-please?" she whined. You obliged, removing yourself and replacing him on the bed on all four. Lucifer made quick of work of getting you in the same position you had just had him in, but with both hands behind your back as he quickly entered you and began pounding you again, screaming and moaning. You were sure the whole hotel could hear you, but you guys didn't care. It didn't take long until you both were reaching climax again and came at the same time before falling on the bed again in an exhausted heap.
Once he caught his breath, Lucifer pulled you in close, to cuddle against your naked body. Your bodies felt like magic against each other. He wanted to do nothing else other than hold you the rest of the night, you guys had the rest of time to try out the rest of the toys. He found your hand and laced his fingers in with your as he looked in your eyes. All you saw in each other's eyes was love and joy.
"y/n, I love you so much. Now and forever."
"I love you too, Lucifer."
You pulled Lucifer into another passionate kiss.
As you drifted off you sleep in Lucifer's arms, you whispered "I'm so happy we found each other, found love... in a hopeless place."
THE END
(unless?)
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Thank you all so much for the love I have gotten for this story! This is beyond anything I ever thought I would see from this and I am so happy. Some people are interested in a 2-5 years later chapter, would anyone be interested in that? This would be a chapter 13 that I would probably be posted in a few weeks. Let me know in the comments. Also! I will be starting my next Luci x Reader story in a few days, "Talk to Me", which will focus on a Fallen Angel Reader. Let me know if you want tagged in Chapter 1 of that! xoxo, dany ❤️
Taglist:
@froggybich @wonderlandangelsposts @glowinthedarkbones1150 @marydragneell @crescent-z @superdinosaurnacho @jam0001 @kyo-kyo1 @so-get-this-sammy @tiredlillypad @kelppsstuff @loquacious-libra @pinkhoneydrop @luleck @writer-girl99 @lavenz @stormz369 @littleladydemon @soujiswife @melday0105 @luluxx118 @sseleniaa @futureittomainn @cktkat @zaneyyyy @uravitsy @liecoris @starlitvenus @hannahrose130 @elleofdragons @butch-medusae @concentratedconcrete @erosamasan @stranger-chan @lxkeee @holyspacething @hulyenl @leximus98 @lu-ferri12 @mixplara @katnisspeetaprim @rebecca-hvnstn @roboticsuccubus83 @nekemewlita @femboyfatalle @thelethex @cryptidghostgirl @snowlotr @bangchansdirty-slut @glowymxxn @mcueveryday @hotvillianapologist @oneiric-rotaerc @wolfdaddyalphasworld @sleepypottersworld @wisterialagoon @theredviolets @theperfectmangovoid @lemonmoonmochi @sapphireravensworld @ezi0724 @undertalephanjackandmark-blog @apatcheworkofproblems @aquaamethyst96 @sashaphantomhive @randomstranger703 @cherry-4200 @herbalsingularitea @sophiaj650 @cimadreamer
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#lucifer x reader#fanfic#fanfic writing#lucifer x y/n#lucifer fanfiction#hazbin lucifer#lucifer#lucifer magne#lucifer hazbin#fanfiction#hazbin hotel fanfiction#slow burn#angst#lucifer smut
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A series of letters from Gale written throughout the game (based on this post right here)
(The first one is written on a ripped out book page, his mother’s address is written on the back of it between the texts original lines) My apologies for not writing sooner. I sould have, I know that, but only now that I find myself involved in a cults business does it come to mind. I can’t say much, but, for the first time in a while, I am not alone. Love, Gale
(The name written at the top of the letter has been crossed out. It was written in a haste, some of the ink is smudged and the letters are hard to make out) Tav, You can’t possibly feel this way, so I will just assume that I got it all wrong. I know that you are just being kind, I have told you of my affliction with the orb and you try to make it better in your own way. I understand. I would love to kiss you or to simply hold your hand, but you don’t have to give me anything, what you have done for me will suffice for more than one lifetime. Gale
(The third letter features a hand drawn map of the Sword Coast with several dots and circles highlighting the most important stops on their travels at the bottom of the page. He carefully tiptoes around the more gruesome events. It is once again addressed to Morena Dekarios) …and the Druids grove of course. I am very lucky to be in such good company, otherwise I’d have been lost long before all this started. Do you remember the markets? I was seven, I think, there were screams and you just took me by the hand and ran. You explained it to me later, in simpler terms of course.I wanted to thank you for that, I keep being reminded of how different my life would have been if it all went a little different that day another day, too, but no one could have prevented that. No one but myself. Love, Gale.
(Scribbled on corner torn from a recipe) Tav is smiling like that again.
(Written on a fresh sheet of paper, only a little crumpled) Tav, I love you. There is no better way to say it and I fear the perfect moment will never come. My time is short, but it would be an honour to dedicate what is left of it to you. Gale. (This letter isn’t hidden with the others. It remains neatly folded in Tavs pocket, they take it out every once in a while and he can’t help but feel a little proud when they do - not for long though, the guilt always follows)
(His own name, except that he uses Of Waterdeep instead of Dekarios, the date he signs with predates the current one by several months) Don’t do it. You think it will guarantee you Mystras affection, I know how much you want it. But don’t do it. Please. There is so much more now, so much…
(The letter is a mess of smudged ink and crossed out sentences) … keep the tower and all within its walls, you know where I hide the key. Let Tav look an around, If they wish to do so, I’m sure they’ll love the library. If things had been different I might have introduced them to you as my partner. We would have had tea together and I had been given the chance to explain everything. And maybe we will, maybe this letter will go unsent, just like the other. I am sorry. Gale
(Tav holds them in their hands, singed, water-soaked pieces of paper. It is a wonder that the letters remained mostly intact, the one Tav has kept for themselves these past few weeks looking worst of all - not that it matters, all that is important are the words they memorised by now. Words like love. And I love you, they whisper, I still do)
#bg3#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3#bg3 gale#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#tav x gale#bg3 tav#baldurs gate gale#galemance#tw angst#the wizard of waterdeep
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School Kid Crush
*A/N okay so this is the first thing I've wrote since I was like 18 writing about one direction so I'm sorry if its complete dog shit. I tried and kinda want to make it a series maybe if people actually like it but yeah be easy on me pls*
From the moment that I met Spencer Agnew on my very first day at Smosh as the new Games PA, we instantly clicked. We would spend every lunch together quoting obscure movies or Family Guy. We hung out at each other’s apartments many weekends, me just watching him play video games or forcing him to watch Bridgerton with me. There was something there and I think we all could feel it. Spencer was always the one I could go to geek out about the things I always thought I was being annoying talking about. It was almost like I had met my other half which could only be explained as the most terrifying but best feeling in the world. The whole office knew that there was something there but I might be speaking for myself but I did not want to act on it solely from my own relationship problems and that we were coworkers and did not want to make things so complicated. So for now, we are just good good friends who might just be completely infatuated with each other.
Walking into the Smosh office on Friday morning felt like every other morning on the last day of the week. I didn’t get enough sleep and would rather have been curled up back in my bed asleep but someone has to pay rent. Once I arrived at my desk directly across from Courtney’s, I could see that some sweet angel had placed my dear alani drink right in front of my computer. There was only one person who could have brought that for me and I knew it was Spencer so I took off to the Games pod to thank him dearly.
“Have I ever told you that you are a godsend and have saved my life on multiple occasions?” I say while walking up to Spencer’s desk.
“Well yes but have I ever told you that you are severely overdramatic with your words?” He said as he swiveled around in his chair.
“Alright that’s rude but I’ll let it slide since you brought me a drink sir.” I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the little couch in the small space. The office was pretty quiet this morning which is unusual but I welcomed it. “How long do you think it’s going to take before someone is yelling in here?”
“I say give it about ten minutes when Angela comes in and sees that she has to take care of that baby today” Spencer laughed and almost on cue heard Chanse cackling at Angela.
“Are you going to Courtney and Shayne’s combined bachelor party tonight?” Spencer suddenly looked nervous asking this question which is new for him around me that is.
“Yeah, I was going to head home after work to change then head over to the place, are you going?” I asked, praying and hoping he was going not wanting to miss a chance to hang out with him outside of these four walls of the Smosh office.
“Well seeing as you just said you were going then absolutely I am. Um, can I pick you up and drive you to the party maybe?” There it was again, the nervous look on his face.
“Of course!” I said maybe a little too fast and too enthusiastic, “I mean yeah that would be okay, that way I could have at least one or two drinks while I’m there.” I did not recover from that at all but maybe he won’t notice but seeing that smirk on his face, I am wrong.
“Then I will be there to pick you up at 7:30ish, does that sound okay?” Spencer asked, seeming to be a lot more relaxed now that I said yes.
“Sure! That gives me plenty of time, see you later Spen!” I gave him a small wave and walked back to my desk to get started on my small list of tasks I mentally gave myself to get done before filming started and I had zero free time until 5 p.m. As I walked back to my desk I was brought back to how nervous Spencer was asking me if he could drive me to the party. I mean we carpool sometimes to work and even ride together to function outside of the workplace so this shouldn’t be any different right? Oh god, is this a date? Does he know it’s a date? It can’t be a date when it’s Courtney and Shayne’s day right? I’m spiraling and don’t even notice that I ran right into Tommy.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention at all!” I stopped to make sure I didn’t cause some huge mess by running into him.
“It’s okay Y/N! You were really deep into thought there love, you doing okay?” Tommy asked with concern written all over his face, I suppose you can tell I was going through it up in my head.
“Uh well not really but I’ll be okay.” We both started walking towards our desks, I hoped to change the subject so I no longer had to think about what’s going on inside my head but Tommy had other ideas.
“Is it Spencer? I can totally fight him if you need me to or I can hide his Kickstarters until he apologizes to you.” Tommy giggled but stopped as soon as he saw how deep red my face had become.
“Wha- How did you know?” You mean to tell me the rest of the office knew how I truly felt about Spencer, shit.
“Oh honey, the man is completely infatuated with you and I also know you’re infatuated with him. I truly thought you guys were already together and just keeping it a secret for personal reasons. You know it’s okay to like him right? I know about the whole relationship problems you’ve had in the past but I don’t think Spencer is like that actually I know he’s not.” Tommy stopped walking to put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.
“Nope, nope, nope. You’re wrong, I know of no such infatuation you speak of Tommy Bowe.” I avoided eye contact the entire time but eventually sighed, “Is it that obvious?”
“Eh, kind of but hey it’s okay to like someone even if you guys work together. You guys have been attached at the hip ever since you started here and I think you might be the same person. I do not think he’s going to ghost you like every other piece of shit man who has entered your life.” Tommy knew more than maybe anyone about how much self doubt I have put on myself from constantly just men stopping talking to me out of nowhere. It didn’t matter if he said he was different, none of them were. They all were the same.
“I know he is a good person Tommy but I’m not sure I could deal with losing him as a friend and even worse I would have to see him every single day at work. I promise I’m just in my head a little bit, I’ll be okay.” I gave my most convincing smile and headed to my computer to start on my work for the day.
The work day honestly flew by without any more emotional spirals even at lunch when I could see Tommy giving me those knowing looks from across the table anytime Spencer did anything remotely nice for me. I left the office the minute it hit 5 p.m. just wanting to get out of there, I didn’t even wait for Spencer to walk with him in the parking lot. I needed to get to the comfort of my apartment and be alone before I had a full blown panic attack, not to mention I needed to get ready for this party. I made it home in record time with just enough time to get ready and sit in silence and think about what I should do. I decided to say screw it and just bring up my conversation with Tommy and see what happens. Do I know what’s going to happen? Not at all but you know what I need to do something to stop this spiral. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door was I saw that Spencer said he was outside. Spencer was waiting outside his car for me and even opened the door for me, what a gentleman.
“You were nowhere to be found after work dude, where the hell did you go?” Spencer asked, closing the door as I settled into the front seat.
“Sorry, I started feeling bad so I had to get out of there. Hope you didn’t get attacked in the parking lot without your guard dog.” I laughed as he started his car and headed towards the place where the party was being held.
“You are literally shorter than me which is saying a lot but I was a damsel in distress and you just left me alone to die.” Spencer pretended to wipe a fake tear and looked over at me giggling. “But were you okay? Like nothing happened right?”
“Yeah I was fine, Tommy just got me thinking and I just got a little overwhelmed but promise I am perfectly fine now!” I smiled and let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding in. “It um actually was about you if I’m being honest?”
“Me? I swear whatever it was I didn’t do it.” Spencer threw his hands up but I grabbed the wheel and gave him a glare.
“He did say that if you hurt my feelings he was going to hide your drinks until you apologize to me,” I looked over at him preparing myself for what I was going to say next, “He also said he thought we were together and were pulling a Courtney and Shayne”.
“Hm, Tommy thinks we’re famous enough to hide our relationship like that? Wow, I am flattered.” Spencer laughed looking over at me then stopped because he realized this might be a serious conversation. “Wait, being in a relationship with me sounds so terrifying to you that you had to book it out of the office?” I looked over and saw that we had already arrived at the place but I knew our conversation was not going to end just because we were here.
“No! I just got in my head and was so scared that if you knew that I had this massive ass school kid crush on you, it would ruin this friendship we have built. I have no clue what I would do if you were not in my life, Spencer, honestly.” I realized I have just told him about this crush I have on him with my word vomit so there was no turning back now. “I like you alright, I like you a lot and it’s so damn scary because I’m terrified to lose you in any sense of my life.”
“A massive crush you say?” Spencer started giggling and all I could do was glare at him ready to smack that smirk off his face. “I like you too dummy, I thought you knew already and just saw me as your dorky coworker who also is your best friend. I promise you’re not losing me anytime soon. You’re stuck with me now babe.” He smiled and leaned over to give me a soft kiss. A kiss that I think I have been waiting for what felt like years, a kiss that seemed to let go over all of my insecurities and finally felt safe and confident in a relationship. “Now, let’s go into this party and steal Courtney and Shayne’s thunder.”
We started to walk to the door of the place, hand in hand, and ready to face all of our coworkers. The only thing you can hear as soon as we walked into the room was a far away “FUCK YEAH” which I can only place as Angela screaming.
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Can I Show You How Sorry I Am?
Pairing: Frank Castle x F! Bartender reader
Summary: You and Frank had been hooking up for several months and then he dropped off the face of the earth. Six months later, he walks back into your bar and has some explaining to do.
Word Count: 3,520
a/n: This is smut heavy but nothing crazy. It was intended to be a smutty porn with plot one shot but I really enjoyed writing this. In fact, I have some loose ideas on making this into a series. Diving into reader’s background and exploring what a relationship with The Punisher would look like. How a serious relationship for Frank would play out. If you’re interested in more, please let me know!
I’m going on vacation in a few weeks and then I will be cutting down my hours at work. I expect to get more stories out starting this summer! As always, a friendly reminder that reblogs are the best way to support writers on here. XOXO
Looking up from the bar, you see the door swing open just as your coworker yells out last call. Curiosity sparked- today had been abnormally easy. Or maybe it was a good day made better under the lense of a full night’s sleep. The weather had been beautiful all afternoon-clear skies, light wind and full sun. You were able to relax outside and soak up a few rays of sun before work, letting its heat warm up your tired bones.
Work was comfortably steady and a few regulars left you a larger than usual tip today. Life recently threw you a major curveball but you were set on enjoying the sunshine while it’s here, because the moon will always come around again.
Nothing could have prepared you for the shock of seeing Frank step into the room. It had been, what, over six months since you last saw him? Your eyes were staring at him but you couldn’t seem to focus on one spot. They moved from his deep eyes, down to his black hoodie and the combat boots you loved. You noted that he looked a bit thinner than the last time you saw him and he had one hell of a black eye and split lip. Your back stiffened as you tried to process all your emotions. You were pleased to know he was alive but anger and sadness panged across your chest as you thought about the past year.
You two had never made it official but you had been sleeping together frequently enough that his sharp absence from your life hurt. You and Frank met in the same bar that you were currently in. You were new to the city and Frank was a welcome respite from the coldness New York could offer. He would show up several times a week, somehow always on nights you worked. He would walk you home and you two would enjoy a night cap or three with the evening ending in him making you see God. All of the pleasure and none of the drama. But as time and nature would have it, you managed to catch feelings. You tried to keep them buried, telling yourself he didn’t feel the same. You were too afraid of scaring him off, so you never verbalized your feelings.
However, he skipped a Monday night, which was unusual for him. Concern creeped in when he didn’t visit you three shifts in a row. And then weeks passed and you were consumed with worry about his safety and eventually you began to fear the absolute worst.
Inhaling deeply, you manage to look up as Frank approaches you. “Hey Sweetheart” he says softly, while making eye contact with you.
A flaming arrow shot a deadly blow to your heart as soon as you met his puppy dog eyes. The smell of his cologne hit your nostrils and lit a fire low in your belly. Rat fucking bastard.
Tears began to well in the corners of your eyes but you weren’t certain if they were from sadness, rage, or pent up sexual frustration with this big, dumb, beautiful man standing in front of you.
Your coworker walked by, noticing the change in your body language. “Is everything ok over here?” He asks, looking between the two of you.
“Yeah, it is. Um, actually, would it be ok if I took off a bit early tonight? I need to deal with something.”
“Of course, but you owe me one! Text me if you need anything.” Winking at you before he walked back to his station.
“Hey Frank. It’s nice to see you.” Deciding to err on the side of kindness. After all, he did show back up to see you. You might as well hear him out, even if you did give him your customer service tone.
“I know it’s been a while and that’s my fault. Can we go back to my place and talk?”
My place. The words echoed in your head. Previously, the two of you only ever hooked up at your apartment and even then he rarely bothered to stay the night.
“Yeah, actually that would be nice. Let me go get my things and I will meet you outside.”
____________
“So, this is your place, eh?” You ask, trying to keep your tone light as you surveyed the area. Noting the bare walls, sparse furniture and dumbbells stuffed in the corner, it was obvious a single man lived here. However, what you couldn’t tell is if this is a new place or if he dropped you for a different fling and was hiding out this past half year.
“Yeah, it is. Want something to drink?”
”Mmmhmm, beer’s good if you got it.”
You two sat on his futon, taking the first sip,
“Why haven’t I seen your place before you?” You ask, nerves building up in your chest as you put off the real questions you wanted to ask him.
Sighing deeply, Frank glances away until finally making eye contact.“When we first met, I knew I wasn’t going to be in town for much longer. I didn’t think that I would be back once I left.”
Frank then sat down his beer, picking up your free hand and cradling it with his. “But I really enjoyed our nights together. And I kept coming around your bar, while I put off the work I needed to do.”
Inhaling sharply you say, ”Listen, I understand that we never had the relationship ‘talk’ but Frank, we were fucking pretty regularly and then you just disappeared. Poof, gone in the blink of an eye. I feel like you at least owed me a see ya later before running off.” You say, taking a large swig of your beer, trying to calm the nerves that swirled in your chest. You hope he doesn’t notice the way your hand is shaking as you sit it back down. Or the tears welling in your eyes again. Thankfully, he couldn’t hear your heart thumping as you anxiously waited for him to respond.
“You’re right Darlin’ and I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you.” He swallowed thickly and you could catch the slightest gruff in his voice. “I thought it would be less painful if I just disappeared. But when I was gone, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I missed your smile and your laugh. I missed the way your hand feels in mine. I missed… the feelings you brought up in me. When the job was over I decided to make my home here, maybe even with you.”
Sighing roughly, you move to sit back, trying to process everything that’s happening. Frank adjusts so you can lean into his torso.You close your eyes and he moves his arm around your shoulder, which softened a bit of the emotions flooding you.
“You know I waited around for weeks, hoping you would show up. And when you never did, I thought you had died. The worst part is that I didn’t have anyone to ask. You always come in alone and I didn’t even know your last name so I kept checking local obituaries-”
Frank noticed the panic in your voice and brought his free hand under your chin, tilting your face up and forcing you into eye contact.
“Castle”
”…What?” You ask while your brain is trying to catch up.
“My last name is Castle.” He whispers, bringing his thumb up to trace your lower lip. He pauses, looking at you questioningly.
You had so many questions running through your mind but being back in his arms reminded you of all the nights you spent wrapped up in your bed. The smell of him being so close to you was intoxicating. Before you knew it the rush of hormones hit your brain as you involuntarily move your face towards him, locking lips ever so sweetly.
Despite their injury, his lips are somehow softer than you remember and your heart rate picks up as he moves his hands up to cup your face. Frank is taking his time with you tonight, enjoying the brushing of your lips together as if it was the first time he’s kissed you. The moment is tender and softer than your previous encounters.
All too quickly though he pulls away. Your breath hitches and you involuntarily grab at his sweater, trying to tug him close again.
“Can I show you how sorry I am?” Frank pleaded as his lips hovered over yours.
“Please.” You replied shakily as you clamber into Frank's lap, reveling in the groan it exudes from Frank.
You shiver as he runs his warm hands up your sides and along your back. You kiss him deeply, one hand splayed across his chest while the other gripped his hair tightly, hoping that it was enough to keep him here in front of you.
You slowly grind into his lap as you part your lips against Frank’s. He takes the opportunity to lick into your mouth while shoving your hips together.
“Do you see what you fucking do to me?” He growled as he thrusted his hips up into yours, grinding his growing bulge against you.
You whined in response as you pulled your shirt over your head. Without hesitating, Frank reached up and deftly unhooked your bra, tossing it to the side and gently cupped your beasts with both of his hands.
Your head dizzying with want, you lean forward to kiss Frank, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth as his large hands fondled your breasts.
Breaking away, he kisses down your neck until he reaches your chest. Moving his head to the side, he slips a nipple into his mouth teasing you until you issued your fist moan of the evening.
Chuckling, Frank moves his focus to your other breast and you loudly moan as you feel the buzzing want for him run up and down your body. You so deeply missed the way you just melt into his touch. It had been a lonely six months since Frank’s disappearance, not for lack of desire though.
You were often hit on by men at your job but most of them were a huge turnoff. Drunk and aggressively flirting with you until you declined their offer and getting angry when you wouldn’t give them your number. But you stayed at this job since the extra cash on hand greatly supplemented your primary job.
You did briefly consider yourself spending the night with a gorgeous blonde woman who came into the bar. She had the most beautiful blue eyes that you could get lost in. Except you couldn’t tell if she was flirting with you or if she was just incredibly nice. You were too hesitant to make the first move. That didn’t stop you from thinking about her as you touched yourself that night. But that was last month and you haven’t seen her come back in.
And right now all you were focusing on was Frank and how you don’t think you’ve fully relaxed since he left. You are unabashedly grinding in his lap, arching your back into his kisses as his hands worshiped your body.
“Frank, please…” you rasped as he popped his mouth off your nipple and brought you in closer to him.
“Please, what darlin.” He whispered as he pressed your foreheads together.
“I just need you to touch me so badly.” You softly whimpered as you pulled at the collar of his shirt.
“I got you girl.”
You squeal with glee as he wraps his arms tightly around you and stands up. You revel in the safety of his arms, feeling his huge biceps press you up against his firm chest. His strength was one of your favorite physical qualities in Frank. You felt so secure tangled up in him. But despite his strength, he was gentle with his touches to you. He was far kinder to you then a few men in your past. In fact, Frank never used force on you, unless of course you asked him to.
Your mind briefly wandered back to an intense night where you were pinned to the bed with his leather belt in your mouth, hand pulling your hair taughtly, thrusting into you unforgivably….
Frank placing you down on the bed brought you back to reality. Shamelessly watching him as he took off his shirt. The clinking of his belt reminded you of its taste in your mouth and you hurriedly removed the rest of your clothes.
You attempt to slide to the top of the bed but Frank grabs your legs.
“Oh no.” He clicks his tongue while dragging you down to the edge of the bed. “Just where do you think you’re going Ma’am? I owe you an apology.” He cooed, while kneeling on the floor, kissing your inner knee up to your inner thighs
Your skin prickles and your breath hitches as Frank sucked some of the tender skin on your inner thigh into his mouth. Enjoying the reaction from you, he takes his free hand and traces a finger up the seam of your pussy.
You gasp sharply. “Frank, please.” You desperately begged. “You’re being so mean to me.”
Everything about you was driving Frank wild. Your scent was lingering in his nose, leaving him heady with want, how tense the muscles in your thighs are while you were so willingly spread out for him and finally the desire in your eyes is what drove him to splay you open with his index and middle fingers before he starting flicking your clit with his tongue.
Your moans had him groaning as he continued lapping you up. He moved the fingers that were spreading you open lower, teasing your entrance. He briefly enjoyed your gasps of pleasure before slipping two fingers into your wetness, which caused you to inhale sharply as you clenched around him.
Frank slightly leans back and looks up at you. “Yeah, you like that?” He curls his fingers to hit that sweet spot inside you. “Be good and take it.” He husked before sucking on the inside of your thigh.
His words sparked an anger in you- how dare this man come back and then act like this but oh my god did he know how to work you up. And that spark was like gasoline on a fire and you were already so close to coming.
Frank could tell by how tightly you were gripping his fingers. Pulling off your thigh with a wet pop, he brings his mouth back to your clit and it was over. Trails of fire ran up and down your body before dissolving into pleasure.
Frank slowed down to draw out your orgasm as much as he could, waiting until you were whimpering with overstimulation before gently removing his fingers from you.
Still breathing deeply, you open your eyes to find Frank looking at you, while sucking your juices off his fingers. His eyes were a blaze with desire for you, which made your heart start pounding again.
“Frank, I want you.”
He barely heard you over the blood buzzing in his ears. Frank stood up and got on to the bed, encouraging you to move back further. He placed the sole pillow on his bed under your head, making sure you were comfortable before kissing you hard.
You instinctively moved down to help remove his boxers. Once freed, you savored the weight of him in your hand. He was deliciously thick and you can’t help but to start firmly rubbing him. You bring a thumb to the head of his cock rubbing the pre cum down his shaft. Now it was your turn to relish in the noises he was making
Frank was so sensitive that just a small amount of touching had him gently thrusting in your hand, lowly grunting with your firm touch. His enthusiasm reminded you how empty you were. You wordlessly guide him to you, teasing his head up and down your sopping folds until pausing at your entrance. He replaced your hand with his and you moved your hips to slot his.
The pressure of him against your entrance was leaving you lightheaded. The gasps you were making had Frank teeming with desire but he was determined to take his time. Pressing ever so gently he pushed just the head of him inside you as he began to lean down towards you. You tried to buck your hips up into him but he stopped you.
Fully leaning over you, he placed one of his forearms to your side, hooking it around the crown of your head. His other hand held your jaw firmly in place. Staring deeply into your eyes he says, “I’m so fucking sorry I left. I won’t leave you again unless you tell me to.” He pleaded as he buried himself in you.
“Oh fuck yes’ Frank.” You cried out as he pressed your foreheads together.
“I fucking missed you, sweetheart.” He roughly whispered.
“I missed you too.” You choked out, trying to hold back the tears in your eyes. Frank lowered the hand that was on your chin to the other side of your head as he started rocking into you, setting a pleasurable pace for the both of you. He slowly moves his hips until your breath hitches. That’s when he knows he’s got the right angle. You cry out as he rocks into a little harder, causing you to grab on to his shoulders.
Sweat was beginning to leave a light sheen on the both of you as more heat began to generate from where you two were connected. Frank was applying soft kisses on your neck and the little huffs he was breathing near your ear made you clench around him tighter.
You noticed his chest flushing and you knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. Franks brings one hand down, and slips it between the two of you and circled your clit, while kissing you deeply. The pleasure of being surrounded by Frank- his weight on top of you, cock filling you, his scent surrounding you, his tongue flicking into your mouth- was overwhelming after all this time.
You pull away, wanting to save the moment in fear of him slipping away from you again.
“You’re really going to stay this time?” You quietly stuttered in between his thrusts.
“Yes darlin. I’m always going to be here.” He grunted. He could feel you getting tighter again and your whines were music to his ears as he kept his current rhythm. Your fingers tighten against his shoulder, leaving little half moons in it’s wake and your back involuntarily arches as you splinter once more from reality.
Your pussy is squeezing Frank so hard that he can’t hold himself back any longer. His body stiffens and he groans out as he fills you with his cum.
You can’t stop the tears from spilling out and streaming down the side of your face during your come down. All of the fear, anger and worry that had been pent up all came rushing out and it was simply too much. He didn’t try to silence you or make you stop. Frank simply held you and wiped away your tears.
“I’m sorry I’m crying so much.” You sniffled, trying to slow yourself down.
“It’s ok Angel, are you alright?”
You nodded your head yes as Frank carefully removed himself from you. You winced from the loss of contact but he softly pulled you into him as he laid down onto his side.
Your crying had slowed down and the weight of reality was setting back in. Your mind started racing with questions. Did he really mean what he said? What does this mean for the two of you? Were you ready for a commitment like this? So many thoughts racing in your head and you settle on one.
“Frank?” You quietly ask, face still buried in his chest while his hands were rubbing soothing circles on your back. “Earlier you said that you were putting off a job. What did you have to go do?”
Swallowing thickly, Frank closed his eyes. He knew that coming back meant coming clean and you might not be interested when you find out who he really is. And maybe that conversation should have come first but old habits have a way of dying hard.
“I will answer all of your questions in the morning. Would you like to stay tonight?”
“Can we take a shower?” You ask as you nod your head in agreement, attempting to ignore a new ball of anxiety beginning to form. What could this man be hiding from you? “Or do you only have one towel as well? You teasingly ask, partly as a way to distract you from your own mind.
“You’re in luck because I have two and they are both clean. I’ll go start the water. Come and join me when you’re ready” Frank kisses the top of your head before getting out of bed and padding to the bathroom.
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While rewatching LoK, I came across the episode where Tenzin says, "I've created a monster." It got me wondering—did AU Tenzin ever have a similar moment with his children? If he did, how would AU Lin react if he ever called one of their kids a "monster"?
I'm so sorry for taking so long on this one. It also had me stumped for some time, and I even looked for inspiration.
Now I think I finally have an answer.
Tiny Kang in primary school.
He's begun to ask his father questions about girls.
"Daddy, how do I impress a girl?"
"Hmm, you can get her flowers."
"What if I do a kick and a cool flip in the air, then land on one hand?!"
"That's...extreme. How about writing her a nice card and giving her some candy?"
"That's boring...can you get me some candy?"
Tenzin asks his son how it went when he returns from school.
"She liked it, Daddy!" is his only response, and Tenzin is satisfied.
Several days later and Kang approaches him again.
"Daddy, what else do girls like?"
"Well, it depends. Some like shells, some like jewelry, some like food--"
His son bounces up and down. "Oooh! Oooh! I'll give her some shells and jew-y!"
---------
A few more days pass and it's Tenzin's turn to pick up the kids from school.
The twins are both surrounded by an entire group of girls as they walk out. Tenzin raises a brow. What's going on there?
Areum is standing between several girls and her brother. But other girls push her away and grab on to Kang possessively.
Air flows around Tenzin as he walks up to the children, and his twins recognize his presence approaching.
"Daaad!"
Tenzin knelt beside Kang and Areum, scanning the group of girls. Frowns and pouts surrounded his children, and for a moment he wondered if Lin cloned more versions of herself without his knowledge.
"What's going on?"
"I'm his girlfriend!"
"No I AM!"
"I am! He gave me flowers!"
"He gave me shells!"
"He gave me his sweet buns!"
Tenzin almost grimaced at the possessiveness bouncing around him. "I've created a monster..." he muttered to himself.
Areum tapped him on the shoulder. "He took Mommy's necklace and gave it to her!"
Tenzin instantly froze at the very, very familiar necklace held in another girl's hand.
"Kang, that necklace is Mommy's," Tenzin noted to him, and loud enough for the girls to know. "She was looking for it this morning."
"Oh..."
Considering that his children are only 6, Tenzin finds it only appropriate that he help his son fix the situation. All it took to get his wife's necklace back was a ride on Oogi. in fact, all the girls enjoyed a short ride on Oogi with his children and it seemed like everything was forgiven.
Tenzin watched from around the corner as his son returned Lin's betrothal necklace and apologized for "Stealing" it and giving it away to one of his girlfriends.
Lin isn't mad, but she gives Kang a firm reminder that he can't do that again. Despite no yelling, Kang's lip starts to quiver and Lin pulls him into a hug. Tenzin smiles at the sight.
Tenzin joins them and pats Kang's back, wiping his face with a tissue. His son crawls to him for a hug and Tenzin almost cradles him in his arms.
"I didn't know you had 10 girlfriends, son."
"You didn't say I can only have one. So I gave all the pretty girls and ones I liked a gift."
Lin sent Tenzin a look, and he attempted to keep his face even with Kang.
"Well, I guess that's enough girlfriends for you, hm?"
Kang nodded. "Yeah...10 girlfriends is too much! I'll have 3."
Lin tried to hide her laugh, and she cleared her throat. "For now, you just pay attention in school and no fighting. And no girlfriends."
Their son suddenly gets more energy to go play with his siblings instead, and he races out of their room.
Tenzin could feel Lin's stare on the side of his face, and he kept as still as possible.
"So you turned our son into a player?"
"I didn't mean to! I thought he liked one girl, so I gave him a few ideas...I never realized I would have created a monster."
Lin poked her finger at Tenzin's forehead. "Dummy. I almost lost my betrothal necklace because of you two."
"I'm sorry."
A smirk crossed Lin's face, then it became a laugh. Then a small cackle.
Tenzin eyed her suspiciously. "What?"
"I can't say he's a monster. He's had more girlfriends than you've ever had in your entire life. Hahahaha!"
"Ugh! That doesn't even count! Plus, you're my one true love! Those girls were his classmates!"
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Don’t really wanna be Elevator Buddies (Sephiroth x Reader)
A/N: Part 1 here. im suffering sufficiently at my current job that im leaving that i think i can write something because i need an outlet and i also want sephiroth to make it better. also, i am so much older than when i wrote the first part; as such, my writing probably reads a lot more different - better, worse or same is up to you. to those who have requested a part 2 and have waited literal years (its been 4!!!!!), i love you, i'm so sorry its so late.
★★★★★
Staring at the message in your work inbox, you suddenly couldn’t summon the effort to care. Your mood instantly dropped and you needed to leave your desk. You kept your headset on as you wandered towards the small staff kitchen under the guise that you were still connected to a meeting and listening in, when really you just want to block people out. You didn’t want to be perceived.
You just wanted out.
ShinRa Inc wasn’t known as the best place to work, but the pay was good and it was better than any other options you had.
The coffee machine rumbled as you waited for it to process your order. You didn’t even want to drink the cheap, watered down stuff, you just didn’t want to be at your desk looking at that stupid fucking request. There wasn’t much that could get your out of these kinds of emotional troughs bar one thing that seemed to always work.
You felt the vibration of a notification from your phone in your pocket. Knowing what and who it was probably from, you eagerly checked the new message that had come through. It was just a photo of blue sky with some clouds—the tops of greenery you didn’t recognise lined the bottom. It was very abstract and out of context, but you were used to it now.
Putting aside your misery for the moment, you typed out a short response.
I can’t beat that. This is my view.
You took a photo of the ceiling above you. Stark, stale and claustrophobic in comparison to the natural sky you were given. You sent it off and only a few seconds later, received a thumbs up in response. It made you laugh.
Sephiroth was a terrible at texting sometimes, but it was endearing in way.
When you had first traded contact details a little after The Elevator Incident, it had taken a while before anything was sent from either of you. You were too scared of bothering him and he was more than likely too busy or just didn’t know what to send. It also felt like trading personal IDs was crossing into an entirely different friend territory that wasn’t as nonchalant as impromptu elevator conversations.
The messaging ice was broken when, one day, you got a single image of chocobo out in the wild with no context. If you didn’t have Sephiroth’s ID saved, you would have wondered if someone had messaged the wrong person. Your response was a quick ‘I love chocobos, they’re so cute!’, and your reward several hours later was a picture of a sweetly sleeping chocobo in a stable.
Sephiroth was a man of very few words, but he still found ways to communicate with you and that honestly made you feel… Well, you weren’t sure you wanted to admit what you were feeling too much. You knew you had feelings for the man, that you were attracted to him, but those feelings had no where to go. You couldn’t tell him.
For many reasons, you just couldn’t ever tell him about your ever growing affection for him.
You just couldn’t.
You wandered back to your desk, completely forgetting about the coffee you had made in the kitchen. The message from the 1st Class Soldier perked you up way more than the caffeine would have anyway. You scrolled through your requests again and sighed. It was probably going to be another late night in the office. Maybe you’d just call in sick tomorrow.
You worked a few more hours, eyeing your phone and hoping for more messages, but none came. Sephiroth was often the one to initiate conversation as you still felt like you would bother him if you sent something first. Still… You kind of really wanted to talk to someone—to him, specifically. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to send one message?
Picking up your phone you opened up your chat and tried to think of something to say. You typed out several things, but kept deleting them. ‘Hello’ felt too formal, ‘Hi!’ seemed too chipper.
Is something wrong?
The message popped up before you could send something yourself.
!!! No! I was just about to message you. How are you?
There was a pause—and then a short voice message.
▶• ıll— “Are you sure you’re alright? Was there something else you wanted to say to me?”
You could hear the smile in his words and you flushed upon the realisation that he must have seen your stupid three dots pop up and disappear constantly in the chat. You playfully hissed your own voice note back,
▶• ıll— “Ohhh shut up, I just didn’t want to bother you!”
Putting your phone down, you peeked over your divider and looked around to see if anyone else could hear you. It was fairly late in the office, way past usual business hours, so you could see some screens still lit up around the space, but there wasn’t anyone near you.
Your phone pinged a few times, indicating new messages. Some more photos, but this time of more a familiar sight—the Midgar cityscape.
I’m back.
It had been awhile since he had left on his last mission. You were glad he was back safe, not that you’d tell him that now. You sent off a quick, mildly motion blurred snap of your desk and sent it off.
?
A question mark? A question mark to what? The photo wasn’t that blurry.
It’s my desk.
Are you still working? It’s late.
Ohhhh… You cringed; it was late. Honestly if you didn’t procrastinate with absolute loathing and low morale earlier in the day you probably could have been home already, but you couldn’t push through the negativity.
Yeah, its been a rough day.
You waited for a response, but none came. Sephiroth went inactive spontaneously during your conversations, so it wasn’t surprising. Instead you put your phone down and continued on a project that was behind on its deadlines. Technically all of them were behind, but this one you at least had the energy to push through for now.
An hour later your phone pinged a couple times. A photo of the elevator you used everyday to get to up to your floor and:
Time to leave.
You stared at the message, biting your lip. Even if you wanted to leave, there was still things to be done and—
Do I have to drag you out?
▶• ıll— “Okay! Alright! I’m packing up, hold your damn chocobos. I’m leaving now.”
Who knew Sephiroth could be so pushy? During the long elevator ride down to the lobby, you wondered if maybe he only showed this side of himself to people he trusted or cared about. The thought made your stomach flip.
It could also have been that people never really gave Sephiroth the opportunity to be himself. It was an upsetting thought. He was the 1st Class Soldier, a warrior that couldn’t be toppled, a man way above the norm. Untouchable. Distant. You knew what his public image was like, but still somehow you couldn’t fathom how people couldn’t consider that there was another side to him.
The side of him that you always got to see.
The same Sephiroth that you saw was waiting for you as the elevator doors opened. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He stood by the empty reception desk with his arms crossed, looking out the front entrance. When he heard your footsteps he turned to face you almost immediately. The man’s expression would have seemed stoic to others, but you recognised the warmth in his mako-infused gaze.
What if you were the only person he looked at that way? You held your smile steady even as your heart argued with your head to accept that maybe that’s what you really wanted.
It felt like Sephiroth’s gaze only intensified as you approached him. “...You look awful.” His voice was low, quiet, but still teasing. There was a chuckle in there too, somewhere in his deep tone. Sure you had heard it recently in the voice message, but it wasn’t the same as hearing him speak to you in person.
“That’s so mean, Seph. Not even a proper greeting for me? Wow.” Even though you were exhausted, you automatically matched his manner. “You look…” Oh, you couldn’t tell him how you really felt about how he looked. There were so many adoring and affectionate words, yet somehow still not enough. “...Like you?” You finally sputtered out after filtering all the other things that your mouth wanted to say.
The 1st Class Soldier gifted you with a short laugh and you struggled to hold back the burst of emotions that bloomed in your chest. “You are so mean to me.” This interaction wasn’t like the others. This didn’t feel like the light playful chats in the elevator. When did these interactions change? When did all the same words that you used to use before suddenly mean something different?
Sephiroth suddenly leaned closer towards you, a small smirk crossing his lips. “I am nice to you.” The way he spoke was next to a purr, “Did you want me to be mean?” It felt like the mako glow in his eyes brightened for a moment; he was close enough that you could see specks of the otherworldly green in his irises.
You wanted to die on the spot. He was not flirting with you, no matter how much it felt like it. No way. However, before you could stop yourself, you replied quietly. “...I like it when you’re nice to me.” The look on Sephiroth’s face melted into something else—something just as warm, just as intense, but something so much more genuine and it immediately scared you. Before he could say anything more you let out dismissive laugh. “Phew, I am a lot more exhausted than I thought. I-I should probably get home.”
Maybe the fear was reflected in your expression. Sephiroth fell back into his usual cool and stoic demeanor and you wanted to apologise—it was hard not to feel as though you had just ruined something important. Casual conversation you could navigate. This? What was this?
Of course you’d find a way to make a bad day worse. Of course you’d ruin a good thing. Of course you’d—
A large hand pressed into your lower back and guided you forwards, interrupting your downward spiraling thoughts. When you looked up at Sephiroth beside you, he simply watched and waited for you to take the lead. Nothing in how he looked at you had changed from when you had first exited the elevator. “There’s a car waiting for you outside.” That voice you so adored, was steady and warm and sure. Still the same.
Quietly you stepped outside with Sephiroth in tow. He opened the car door for you, nodding to the driver who did the same in return. You sat in the back seat, with the soldier leaning outside on the vehicle, looking in to make sure you were comfortable.
“...Bye Seph.” You really did sound tired.
Sephiroth didn’t respond right away, but the silence wasn’t as heavy as the one inside the lobby. He placed a hand over his heart and bowed his head. “Goodnight.” You knew there was something else he wanted to say, but he held his tongue. There was another pause before he shut the door for you.
You leaned back in your seat and let the butterflies run rampant in your belly, let the buzz run through your veins, let it hum through your body. You covered your hands with your face. It felt like there was still something left to say, a conversation left unfinished.
From outside the ShinRa building, Sephiroth watched as you were driven away out of sight. He stood there, holding what he really wanted to say to you in his throat.
It was frustrating for him to know he could physically conquer any fight, any conflict, except for whatever he could see going on in your eyes. Did you know that he could see you becoming more and more tired with each interaction you had? It frustrated him to no end knowing that people took advantage of you and your time and your efforts. Idiots. Fools.
How could he put into words how you made him feel? Sephiroth was no good at words. He just wanted to keep you safe. He just wanted you not to be tired. He just wanted you to always smile when you saw him—a smile that said you were genuinely happy to see him. Not the 1st Class Soldier, but happy to see Sephiroth himself.
The man snapped out of his reverie as his phone pinged with a message. A voice note from you.
▶• ıll— “...I missed you, Sephiroth. Welcome home.”
Sephiroth stared at the screen of his phone.
And then he replayed the message, just to hear your voice again.
#reader x sephiroth#sephiroth#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ffvii#ff7#final fantasy vii imagines#final fantasy 7 imagines#ffvii imagines#ff7 imagines#final fantasy imagines
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Tangled Alliances
Summary: When faced with sickness in your community in an already post-apocalyptic world, it is up to the strained professional partnership of you and Joel Miller to embark in a perilous and difficult journey in order to retrieve life-saving medicine. With your destinies intertwined, shrouded in tension, you confront the unforgiving challenges of your environment together, gradually forming an unexpected bond. Will that be enough?
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Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader, f/m
rating: 18+, minors dni
series warnings:, pre!ellie, during outbreak, set in TLOU 2022, age gap (28 & 52), swearing, mentions of violence, also actual violence, mentions of sickness, heavy angst...., fluff, trial & tribulations, severe weather, a lot of fucking animosity and hostility, enemies to lovers ???, infected people, tension...TENSION!!!, bickering, copious amounts of alcohol, inebriation, y'all don't get along...but y'all also have to, smut!!!!...a semi-slow burn, anxiety, exhaustion, NO USE OF Y/N.
chapter warnings: Mentions of backstory (involving the death of readers parents), bickering, bad langauge, tess is mother, mentions of sickness and death, aclohol, sharing a tent (wink wink), cheeky morning wood, just a sprinkle of smut if you squint its not really smutty but not completley clean, bad luck ??, tension. lots of it, intrusive improper thoughts.
word count ≈ 8,3k Estimated reading time: 37 minutes, 4 seconds (225 wpm)
a/n: This is the first part of a series i am writing!! I haven't actually written fanfiction since i was like...15, so be very very kind and gentle and patient with me because i am literally just a girl.....i have dusted off the cobwebs & busted my writing out of its retirement to create a story to quench my current joel miller obession. This storyline is actually inspired by a dream i recently had and i am very excited to reeeeally get into the series as i have a lot of plans that i cannot share with you right now.... also sorry if the tags are wierd i gennuinely have no idea what the fuck to write. Part two will come pretty shortly (don't get used to it) because after i awoke from the dream i literally wrote almost 20k words in one sitting so im splitting it up and giving this one some time to see if people are even interested in reading more...please enjoy!!!!!!
Part One: Hostile Beginnings
You were nearly seven years old when the outbreak started. To you, the world crumbled before your feet in what seemed like an instant - shattering the very ground on which you stood. One day after school, you saw your own mother's jugular be ripped straight out of her neck from the mouth of your neighbor, an old and fragile woman who used to babysit you from time to time. Before running away in fear, you saw your mother bleed out, right there on the lawn you used to play in. You never saw your father that day, and neither did you ever again. You always accepted that your father's fate was that he most likely died in that little cubicle he worked in. Or that he now spends the rest of his life infected. Whichever the case, it doesn’t really matter to you, you don’t think about him anymore.
You got away with your life by the skin of your teeth that day. That little girl ran until her tiny legs could carry her no more. Your English teacher, Theresa, had found you in a ditch, sobbing. You had been wearing the same outfit you did that day in class, a purple shirt with a flower on it, along with some blue pants. Theresa didn't have the heart to leave the little girl behind, so she took you under her wing.
Throughout the years, Therese - or ‘Tess’ as you liked to call her - taught you how to survive this very unfortunate world disaster. While you were still young, she taught you to crawl into small holes to retrieve food or water, and to hide whenever you felt something was wrong. She taught you to trust your instincts. She taught you to be resilient. Resourceful. In later years, you were taught to use a gun, to mend knifes, to defend yourself - how to navigate this apocalypse safely.
When you got older, Tess made use of you in her line of work. Smuggling. And you were good
This is how you got to know the man named Joel Miller. A cynical, gruff man of very few words. But, he always got the job done. You and Joel didn’t interact much. Now that you think about it, you hadn’t met him more than.. what? 5 times before today? even less so had you spoken with him. Tess didn’t want you to work alongside Joel as she believed his methods could sometimes be…taking unnecessary risks. He could sometimes be reckless. And you were not a risk she was willing to take. Not yet.
Ever since finding that shattered little girl all those years ago, Tess always felt an unwavering, deep sense of responsibility to keep you safe. She owed it to you, and she owed it to your parents. You were now a full-grown woman, 28 years old - and Tess knew you had a strong head on her shoulders. With the years, the fierce overprotective nature gradually softened. She gradually unfolded her wings of trust, and sent you out on more and more jobs. But, it wasn’t until recently that she felt comfortable enough to let you work with Joel. Nothing big, none spanning more than a day or three. To her dismay (but yet also relief), the two of you ended up ultimately proving to be an incredibly efficient team. However, the two of you could not get along even if your very life depended on it.
It was a silent alliance. It had to be. Otherwise, you’d end up getting on each other's nerves and damn near kill one another. Joel always made it incredibly clear that you weren’t friends - he wasn’t there for pleasantries, he was there to finish a job. Not that you objected. The less condescending shit you had to hear him say, the better. You didn’t care much, either way. You were a professional - after all, you had done this since you were a child. This was your reality. You never had much choice.
Lately, a lot of people in your community have fallen very, very sick. It is some sort of pulmonary bacterial infection that starts off with a fever, and will leave you coughing up blood a couple of months later. A slow killer, but a killer nonetheless. Some of the older folk have already started dying.
“No, absolutely not, Valerie” you heard Tess’s voice come from downstairs. You just happened to walk past to hear it. “It’s way too risky”. These words piqued your interest. “She is our best option, and you damn well know that” Valerie, a woman you live and work with says, a stern undertone in her voice. You slowly walks towards them, walking down the stairs without making a creak, eavesdropping.
“This would take months to complete..” Tess sighs, adding in, “We don’t even know if we have that kind of time, folk’ are already dyin’. We don't even have no idea how heavily surveilled it is”
“Do we have a choice? We’ll run out of our own supply within a month if we’re lucky. They will all die”
Tess is quiet, you could almost hear her thinking if you listened hard enough. You enter the room, “What’s going on?” you ask
Tess stands still and shares a look with Valerie before looking at you, sighing and crossing her arms. “We have received intel that there is a massive supply of vital medical equipment as well as medication, medication that we need. It’s In a settlement controlled by some sort of… faction. They call themselves the ‘reclaimers’. Nasty bunch. We need the medication, and well.. If our sources are correct, which they haven't failed us before, it’d be enough to not only cure the folk round here; but we could also sell for an enormous profit. We could make a lot of money. Maybe buy a new truck. Supplies. Guns….”
“I’m in.” you say, without hesitation, cutting her off. Tess shakes her head, she opens her mouth to speak, but you interrupt her before she can “I can manage myself, you made sure of that.”
Valerie looks at Tess with a ‘I told you so’ look. “You’d have to walk for, probably, months on end just to get there and back. They’re west, somewhere in Montana, located deep into the forest. You have never been on a mission that lengthy, and it's fucking cold as shit - and it's only going to get worse”
“What’s our other option here? Let people die?” you ask, and pause. They stay silent. “I wouldn’t accept if I didn’t know I was capable of handling something like this, Tess….”
You look at each other for a long time. She knits her eyebrows together, somberly, and shakes her head. She doesn't know if she can let you do anything like this. Not because she doubts your ability - rather, she cannot get herself to put you in that type of danger.
“You heard the woman…” Valerie says smugly.
“Fine”. Tess says, slightly annoyed and probably feeling very protective. “I need to stay here and take care of some things, keep track of the radio and such.. Valerie needs to tend to the people here. It…It would be you and Joel.”
This takes you slightly aback. On one hand, even though Tess might think his methods are unconventional - she trusts him, and you trust her. Besides, you have worked professionally very well before and always get the job done. But on the other hand…it’s Joel fucking Miller.
“Months on a job with Joel Miller? Fuck me…” You scoff. Tess’s lips curl into a slight smile evidently trying to hold back her laughter. She knows the kind of disdain you feel for him.
“There’s no one else I’d trust to send you away with on a mission like this. Except for me, of course” Tess says, leaning against a wall. “Are you still in, even if it’s him?” “Well.. i don’t really have a choice now, do i?” you say, and they chuckle. “When would we leave?”
Tess pauses. “You’d have to leave tomorrow” she studies your demeanor, waiting for you to opt out. Hoping in a sick, twisted way that you would - since that would mean that you’d be safe. You don’t hesitate. “He doesn’t know…yet. But, I know him. He would not turn this job down. Besides, he owes us too much, he can’t”
You nod. “Well…he’ll probably be as pleased with working with me as I am with him” you say, rolling your eyes.
“It’s about time the two of you get over that little feud of yours” Valerie interjects, you send her a warning look
“Ain’t my fault he’s fucking unbearable” You point at her, gesticulating your annoyance already brewing by the mere thought of him. She shrugs.
“I’ll call him on the radio - let him know.” Tess says.
--
“With her?!” You hear Joel’s voice boom down from the hallway, annoyance evident on his voice. ‘yup. i was right’ You think to yourself, chuckling as you’re eavesdropping from the other room. They start start walking towards the kitchen, where you are stood. When he sees you, he nearly rolls his eyes, stopping in his tracks. “Well. Looks like we’ll be partners.”
You smile tight-lipped, nodding and holding back an eye roll of your own - trying your best to be civil. “Seems that way”
“We leave at 8. ‘Expect you to be ready by 7 forty-five” He commands. You nod at his instructions. ‘One minute of a partnership, and he has already taken the leading role. Fucking jackass.’ you think to yourself. “Better get some rest”
“Yeah, no kidding…” You mumble to yourself, sneering. He gives you a warning look. One that says ‘don’t start’.
Knowing there’s no point in furthering this conversation as tensions are already high, and you have months to argue with him, you turn to walk “I’ll go pack then” You announce, turning around.
“And try not to piss me off” Joel says loudly as you walk away. You just hold up your middle finger and leave the room. “Real mature!” He scoffs as he looks at Tess with a look that says ‘can you believe her?’, she just shrugs.
That night you packed all that you would need - supplies, food, weapons, a tent…the everyday outing must haves in the midst of an active apocalypse, also…for the cold. Of course, you are not a total stranger to it, living here in Boston, but you also know that the cold here won't compare to the temperatures you are about to face - as you know walking through the north of the US in late autumn, early winter will not be an easy feat - and in a little tent, at that. It was estimated you would be gone for about a couple of months, at least - which is by far the longest job you’d ever been on. But, it was essential.
That morning you wake up particularly early, to make it a point not to be late. Wouldn’t want to give Joel the satisfaction of berating you. You can already feel yourself wanting to spite him. Tess helped you carry your things down, not that you needed help, rather she felt bad for sending you to do something like this. Capable or not, she had a …. Somewhat motherly instinct for you. She also gave you the map with the places you’re headed, where you’re meeting the informants, where the safehouses are located and so on - and gave you the same rundown as she did for Joel, keeping the both of you informed. You are now stood in the kitchen, with your things in your arms. She paused and looked at you, having trouble finding the words, feeling herself getting choked up by the reality of the situation. Before you can diffuse the fears you see swirling in her head, she holds you tight. “You be real careful of yourself, got it?”
“Yes m’am.” You say, voice slightly strained by the suffocating tight hold she has around you. She lets go of you, and cups one side of your face with her hand, and smiles with glassy eyes. She shakes her head as she takes a step back, as if to snap out of the sentimentality.
“Now go and get that medicine.” she nods, trying to sound emotionless and strong. You nod and turn to walk out the building. “Oh, and… give him a tough time. Joel, I mean” She laughs
“You know I will” You wink, as you finally leave the house. Tess stands there with an awful feeling inside the deepest parts of her. She was meant to be the one to protect you, and here she is; sending you off to a mission where she doesn’t even know the magnitude of the threat it poses to your life. But, it’s too late now. Way too many people are depending on you.
You continue walking out, as you lean against the truck parked outside. You’re not going to drive far with it, only 10-12 hours or so. They wanted to transport it somewhere else to sell (since the ongoing surge of illness has eaten away at your community fund), and since it was on the way Tess figured it would not hurt to cut down the length of the trip just a little bit. You stand there for a while, until you check your clock: ‘7:46am’. You snigger by yourself. Without noticing, Joel was walking towards you, gear in hand
“Right in time, for once” He mumbles.
“You’re the one who is late, Joel” You correctly point out.
“It’s one minute, stop yappin’” He says, walking over to the truck, throwing his stuff into it and getting into the driver's seat, slamming the door. What a cheerful man.
You throw your bag into the car “I don’t understand why you’re the one driving” you mutter, getting into the passenger seat
“You know exactly why. Now shut it before I rip off ‘ya jaw and shove it up ‘ya ass.” He says, matter-of-factly, putting the keys in the ignition, turning it and starting the engine, looking forward.
“Ooh, very kinky, Joel” You say sarcastically, taunting him.
He puts his foot on the clutch, as he shifts the gear. “Keep talkin', and I'll leave ya here.” he says and starts driving.
“If only I’d be so lucky…” You mutter silently, watching out of the window as he pulls out on the narrow road through the tall buildings, keeping away from the major roads as they are heavily used by FEDRA.
“I heard that” He said, pointing at his ear, eyes on the road.
“I’m glad your hearing is working, old man. Gives us a bigger chance of survival” you chuckle
“Old man?” He asks, insulted by what you said. “I'll show ya old man if you don't shut the hell up.”
You roll your eyes, and decide to sit this one out. You know it’s not worth bickering, as you have a long, long road ahead of the two of you. “That’s better” He said after a little while of silence. You roll your eyes once again, deciding with all your will and might not to respond with a snippy comment, as you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of giving him the reaction he so obviously is searching for.
You two drive for hours and hours without saying a word, sitting in the thick tension that is between the two of you. It wasn’t necessarily a comfortable silence, rather a silence that comfortably didn’t mean you had to talk to him. After 7 hours, you can start seeing the shift in the sky, the colors indicating the impending sunset that's occurring.
“Maybe we should find somewhere to find shelter? Suns going down. “ You point out.
“I could work that out myself, thanks” He mutters. “We've still got a few hours left of daylight. Push on.”
“So I’m guessing your plan is that we sleep in the car?” You question, looking at him. He doesn’t leave his eyes from the road.
“Yup.” he says. Well, you couldn’t think of any better plan, to be fair. A truck is not a bad place to sleep given the alternative.
After about an hour or so, the car starts suddenly sputtering. “What the fuck?” Joel mumbles, as he quickly checks around the dashboard to see if there’s any indication as to what’s going on. You look over at him, quizzically. “Fuck!!” He shouts, hitting the steering wheel so hard that it honks, as the car comes to a halt. “That’s just…that’s just fucking great” He says, trying to restart the engine - to no avail.
“So much for your plan on ‘pushing on’” you said, looking out at the quickly darkening sky, mocking him. He looks annoyed at you, as he gets out of the car, to check the hood. When he does, a light amount of smoke seeps out.
Well, that sucks. But, you try to remind yourself that this truck was always going to be a temporary luxury, and you got 8 hours into the 12-hour trip. Oh well, more time with… Joel.. Sigh..
“Engines out” He grumbles, waving the smoke away from his face as he closes the hood again, standing and watching hopelessly at the car with one hand on his hip. “We’re not too far from the trucks drop off spot, guess we’ll have to walk the rest of the way.”
“So we just leave it here?” You ask
“Got a better idea? We’re in the middle of nowhere, nobody gonna steal it.” He answers.
“It’s your head, miller…” You mutter. He chooses not to answer to your snark.
“I say we still sleep in the car. It’s better than a tent.”
You nod in agreement “In the middle of the road?” You ask, looking at an already annoyed Joel. He grimaces, whilst he mocks what you just said
“No, you idiot, we’ll have to push it” he stated, looking around the road to see a good spot, and ended up pointing at a spot by some trees a couple meters from the road. “And it ain't an easy feat. Let’s see if you got the strength to push a two tonne vehicle, little miss”
You shrug. How bad can it be? Joel gets in the car and makes sure its gear is in neutral, as the both of you stand at the back of the car, starting to push. It takes some time, and Joel was right that it was, indeed, not an easy task. By the time you got the car by the trees you’re both catching your breath, Joel sweating profusely
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You say between breaths, holding your hands on your hips. He’s bent over in exhaustion.
“Oh bite me” He hisses. You try not to laugh. “We’ll have to leave it here, try to radio Tess somewhere along the way, so they can pick it up - at least before someone steals it”
You nod. It’s gotten dark, it’s time to sleep. So, you climb into the truck and start leaning back your seat to get as comfortable as you can. Joel does the same.
“So…” You say, breaking out the map. “We’ll have to recalibrate… it’ll be…what I'm guessing… 2 to 3 weeks to walk to our first meetup spot with the informants.” I sigh, already tired.
Joel nods. “I'll carry ya if ya get tired” He teases, looking over at you as he lays back in his seat.
“Right back at you princess” You answer without a beat, changing the pins in the map, folding it back and lying on your side, away from Joel. He smirks at your answer.
“Y’sure got a mouth on you” He says.
You roll your eyes as you close your eyes “night”, you mumble, ready to sleep.
“G'night” he lies back on the seat and put his hat over his face before falling asleep.
--
The morning after, you wake up in a stir. The car was very cold, and the sun was just rising. You look around, and find that Joel is not in the car. You blink the sleep out of your eyes, and realize he’s popped the hood to check if there's any way to salvage this car. He sees you move around your head and peaks on the side of the hood
“g’morning, darlin’” he smirks. Is he more annoying than usual or is it because you just woke up? You can't decide. You furrow your eyebrows. He chuckles to himself at how displeased you seem to be awake. You were, after all, never a morning person. “We gotta get movin’”
“Yeah, yeah..” You mumble, getting out of the car to stretch and go to the backseat to collect all your things. Sleep still in your system, the two of you start walking along the road. After a while, you opt to walking through some hills, as Joel got more and more paranoid of meeting someone on the road. You walked for what must have been…14 hours, only taking a small break to eat something small that Tess had packed, sitting on two different places and not exchanging any words. The sun started setting, the sky turning an orange tinge.
“We better find shelter..come on” He said, looking around and seemingly found a spot not too far away - yet secluded enough to sleep for tonight. He increased his walking pace in a determined manner. You follow along not too far behind. Suddenly he stops dead in his steps.
“Jesus fucking Christ” He whispered to himself, anger and frustration very, very evident in his voice
“What?” You ask, eyeing him a bit worried about his reaction.
“God fucking damn it” He whispers to himself “Dammit - I forgot my tent. We'll have ta sleep in the open. Hope you ain't afraid of the dark…”
“Speak for yourself. I brought mine. I ain’t sharing.” You say, resuming your steps.
“You're a real treat to travel with you know that.” He says, looking at you stood still, frozen by his own frustration as he is kicking himself for forgetting that damn bag.
“I bet I am!” you yell, as you have managed to walk a bit further along than he has. He sulks as he continues walking.
You both decide on a safe spot to make a shelter. Joel and you start instinctively preparing to make a fire and collecting anything that will burn. To his dismay, a light downpour of snowflakes suddenly fall from the sky. You look up and laugh at the sheer irony of the situation, the frustration of the day just piling onto Joel. And it’s only the first day at that. “Ain’t that a bitch, huh, Miller?”
“Gotta be fucking kidding me” He groans. “That’s just great”
The two of you start a fire, and put two cans of soup on it for dinner. He is sitting against a rock, drinking whiskey, looking as happy as you could in his situation (spoiler alert, he is sulking). You are putting up your tent, which you dutifully brought (unlike Joel) and you pause as you catch a glimpse of the sad man who seems to be very stressed with the current predicament he has found himself in. He is visibly freezing his ass off. You feel strangely bad. He can't sleep in this cold…
“Look, miller” you pause, he looks at you. “You’re going to die in this cold. Let’s just share tents. Ain’t nun weird.”
He scoffs, and looks back at the fire, taking a sip of the whiskey “I'm good”
You sigh. “Stop being such a fucking Stoic and get over yourself. If you share your whiskey, I’ll share my tent” you say. Maybe by making a deal out of it, it’ll be easier for him to accept your help, you thought.
He thinks for a while. He weighs out his options, as if there is not only one he can realistically go with - which is to accept your help. “Fine. Half-and-half?”
You nod, somewhat happy that he accepted, yet less happy of the reality - which was that you have to share a tent tonight. “Half and half” You repeat, nodding. You walk towards him and sit next to him.
He gets another cup from his bag and fills it with his cheap, illegally brewed scotch, and passes it to you. “That’ll warm us up nicely” He said. It tastes like piss and firewood.
“Aye” You say. “How did you manage to remember bringing your whiskey, and not your tent?” You ask, with a slight hint of laughter to your voice.
He huffed. “Priorities” He smirked, turning to you.
“Well. I hope you have brought enough to maintain your end of the deal” you say, taking a sip. He silently lifts his bag, emitting a number of clinking noises, entailing he has probably got enough to last him weeks. Maybe a week now that you are involved.
“Seems like an unnecessarily heavy weight to carry” you remark, taking a sip of the strong liquid.
He stays silent for a while. “You’ll understand it soon enough” is all he says. Not knowing what he meant, neither caring all too much, you shrug and kept drinking aside each other in the dark silence. You eat the soup when it’s done, too. You pulled your legs to your chest to maintain more warmth, as it feels as though its getting colder by the minute, a few stray snowflakes falling onto the ground and quickly melting away.
“Didn’t think you were so damn sensitive to the cold” he suddenly said.
“M’not, it’s fucking freezing” you say, breathing out.
“Don't think I don’t see you shivering, princess” he says, with a sly smirk on his mouth
“Right back at you, princess” You say, mocking the way he said it to you. “Don’t fucking call me that ever fucking again, by the way”
“Someone’s a tad touchy, ain’t they?” He laughs, taking a swig from his whiskey
“Shut up, Miller”
“Why? M’igetting on your nerves?” he asks, sarcasm swelling in his voice.
“Always have been” You quickly retort.
“I’d say it’s mutual”
You nod, as you kept drinking. The whiskey has become a lubrication for the regular anguish you’ve felt in the presence of Joel. Now you felt no more than subtly irritated. The drunker you got, the happier you were of the deal you did with him. You kept drinking in silence, until you’ve drained about a quarter of the bottle - which might seem like a little, unless you calculate the amount of food you’ve ingested compared to the whiskey you’ve drank. Your cup is, once again, empty - and you guide the cup towards Joel, who dutifully fills it with more.
“Here ya go, princess” he says sheepishly, and you turn to give him a warning look
“I’m serious Joel, I’ll knock the teeth right out of your mouth if you keep calling me that.” You say, rather aggressively.
“I’d like to see you try” He snorts out.
You decide not to answer, as he is clearly getting a rise out of antagonizing you. You roll your eyes and chug the rest of your cup. So did, Joel.
He, again, filled your cup. “You seem happy I brought the whiskey. Like you could use some of it” He comments
“No shit. I’ve got two to three months on a mission with you. And it’s only the second night” you shrug. “Not to mention that we have to share tents…”
“I ain't that bad” He chuckles.
“You’re drunk” you add.
“So are you” he quickly responds.
You nod, and sit in silence for a while - both, quite drunk. “I’m fucking tired. You tired?”
You feel a bit loopy from all the alcohol, but stand up and agree, walking over to your tent. The closer you get to the tent, the more you realize just how small it really is. I mean, it’s small for just one person, imagine how cramped it is for two? Surely, the both of you cannot fit in there - what the hell have you gotten yourself into? You think to yourself.
Joel walks slowly towards the tent as he watches you look into the tent, worriedly. He looks himself, and the same thought passing your mind right now has suddenly dawned upon his, “Oh, boy….” he mumbled
“Yeah, I know.”. You are both stood there, looking, for a while - until you initiate and climb into the tent, and lie down on the right side - making as much space for Joel’s body as you can.
“This ain't gonna be comfortable, not one bit...” he says, as he lies down next to you in the tent, in a clumsy and stale motion.
Your bodies are uncomfortably pressing together, without there being enough room to move away, nor was there to shuffle to a more spacious yet also non compromising position. You tried lying back to back, as it seemed the natural and least intimate way to lie next to one another, thus facing away from one another. Still then, there wasn’t enough space to spare personal space - not in this tent.
“God this sucks.” you mutter from one side.
“You got that right.” He answers from the other.
You groan, as you try to get comfortable, nudging your elbow into his back in the process. He huffs out of pain. “You're making it worse.”
“Shut up. I’m just trying to get comfortable” You say, feeling an unrest in your body - one that the whiskey was not strong enough to numb.
“So am I” He gets more irritated as you keep nudging into him.
Finally, you settled to lie on your side, facing away from Joel. He takes the newly found empty space and lies with his arms against your back. You groan. “Your arms are hurting my back” he does not seem to care, and stays silent. You finally give into defeat, as the mixture of the sleepiness and alcohol slowly seems to overtake your body and you both fall asleep.
Somewhere at night, you had rolled over. Joel was very warm, so naturally, subconsciously, you drifted closer to the source. With your face against his chest, he was softly awoken by the warm breaths coming out of your mouth, in small snores. He looked down, and saw you sleeping peacefully, right against him. He lied completely still, not sure if he should wake you up. The snores were not loud enough to keep him up, so he presumed that is the price he’ll have to pay to sleep somewhere warm tonight, so he tried closing his eyes and fall back asleep, repeating in his head not to look anymore at you - and just go to sleep.
Suddenly you wake up, the morning after, head plastered against Joel’s chest, with his arm slung around your body, and your arm slung over his shoulder. It felt comfortable and warm….strangely.. Good lying like that, but you didn’t know how to react. It was utterly intimate and had crossed the border to cuddling very long ago. And oh god…is that your saliva on his shirt? Did you drool on his chest?! You were so close to him that you could smell the stench of whiskey on his breath, no less your own bouncing from his chest and back to your nostrils. You were basically on second base with the man, without ever remembering if you fell asleep that way or if you had done it in your sleep. I mean hell, you barely remember getting into the damned tent…’we must’ve gotten very drunk’ you thought to yourself. You must’ve rolled over and not thought about it.
You lie frozen, unsure what to do in this situation. If you jerk too much, you’ll wake him - but if you don’t move… he’ll see what you are seeing as of right now - which is you two in an extremely compromising situation. Maybe you could turn around? But then it would border spooning…curse this god-damn tent!
As if awoken by your thoughts, Joel’s body moves as if he’s waking up - and in a hasty and rushed move, he jerks his arm away from you - as if he just went through the same train of thoughts you did when you woke up. “What the fuck” He groaned, looking at you in an.. Almost disturbed manner.
“Fuck.. Uh, mornin’..” You peep out, embarrassed. Kicking yourself for not acting faster before he woke.
“Morning” he says in a rushed voice as he looks around, slightly panicked. None of you know what to say, an awkward silence hanging over you. He is quick to peel away from you to climb out of the tent. “We gotta get going” he announced.
“Y-yeah” You say, sitting still in the tent, processing the situation. When you have mustered enough strength, you crawl out of the tent too - stretching as you stand up. You pack up and walk alongside each other in silence, might as well have been miles apart. The weight of your unspoken closeness from the previous night's ‘cuddling’ lingers in the air, you were both a bit thrown off, sharing the occasional glances at each other, unsure of how to address what had happened, or whether it was better left unspoken. There wasn’t much to say, to be honest. I mean, what was there to say?
You got quite accustomed to the silence, to hearing nothing but the sound of your footsteps, wet against the humid grass. You’d think that walking for hours on end without the distraction of conversation would be something that would bother you, it proved to do the opposite. Without it, It was as if the world around you had muted its colors and sounds, leaving only the barest minimum of sensory input - which made time somewhat fly by. The aching in your feet and legs slipped to the back of your mind. You wondered if Joel was quiet because he was doing the same.
You also wondered what his thoughts were regarding this morning, and how you woke up. You didn’t talk about it, that’s obvious enough…but, what was he thinking about? Maybe he didn’t think about it at all - it was, after all, innocent, you rationalized. Was he also trying to decipher the mixed emotions you were feeling without giving them too much weight - since that might make them real, after all? You can’t deny just how safe and comfortable you felt, regardless of who it was.
Joel spotted you glancing at him here and there, he was equally aware of the tension. He, too, couldn't shake off the memory; He couldn’t help but to replay the events of last night in his mind, wondering if it was merely a product of shared body heat or something deeper. I mean, he could have just pushed you away…yet the unexpected warmth of your body against his, the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as you slept, your breath hot against his chest.. It had been an intimate moment, and he couldn’t help but…enjoy it. However, he was as stubborn as ever, unwilling to broach the topic nor delve into the act itself. Instead, he focused on the mission at hand, pushing the awkwardness aside, shaking his head, not wanting to think too much of it either.
As you continued on the journey, the trees began to thin out, and you found yourself standing at the edge of a clearing, the sun going down behind a mountain up ahead. You looked at Joel, who seemingly had the same thought you did - it was time to find shelter. He took the map out of his bag and looked around. “We aren’t too far away from a safe house” he grumbled.
You nodded, taking out a map of your own, trying to help him in the search of said safe house. As you slowly approach the road leading to the building the weather began to change. Dark clouds gather in the sky, and the first few raindrops fall, pelting against your clothes. The urgency of getting under a roof became more apparent, so you quickened your pace.
Your breaths are visible in the cold, damp air, and the water has seemingly seeped into your clothes - leaving you feel colder and heavier. The cold made your thoughts kept circling back to the tent. The unexpected warmth of Joel's body against yours.. ‘God damn it. Get a grip. it's not even day four, and you're losing your mind.’ You thought to yourself.
Finally, you reached the safe house, which wasn’t what either of you had hoped for. It was an abandoned decrepit building, a relic of the world before the outbreak, with a roof that had seen better days. It was a stone building, partially hidden away by the tall unkept grass surrounding it, as well as tall trees huddling around it, vines growing on the walls. It was probably old 20 years ago, let alone now… The building was leaking from the roof and had gaping holes in the walls - making the shelter far from ideal. It offered some protection from the rain, but not much else. It was, however, better than getting drenched in the pouring rain and being exposed to the elements. You closed the door behind you and took a moment to catch your breath, looking around.
“Well.. This is the best we've got for now” He finally muttered as the wind howled through the gaping holes in the walls.
You look around and find it was pretty empty. There wasn’t any furniture, just a chair. Floor filled with scattered garbage and miscellaneous, dusty items from people who have been here before. The water is dripping from your clothes onto the stone floor beneath you, creating a puddle. "We need to get out of these wet clothes," he finally stated, his voice practical and no-nonsense.
You knew he was right, but the timing of it made it slightly uncomfortable. He knew he was straining on the already strange atmosphere that has been looming over the two of you since you found each other in the brace of one other. However, you also knew the reality of the situation. Your pride was warring with the necessity of the situation. The chill in the air and the knowledge of the dangers of hypothermia prevailed, and rational thought found its way back to you. You have months left to travel with Joel - and undressing in front of him to ward off sickness should not be an embarrassing thing, it ensures your survival and should be nothing more - is nothing more.
He could see the hesitation in your eyes, as you shivered, teeth chattering. He looked around for any dry fabric he could find within the safehouse—tattered old blankets and worn-out jackets. It wasn't the most comfortable solution, but it would have to do for now. He picked up a jacket. “Here.”
You nodded in agreement and began peeling off your drenched attire. Joel did the same, his back turned to maintain some semblance of privacy. Finally free from the soaked garments, you are quick to put on the jacket, zipping it, covering your body enough to feel more comfortable. You start wringing out the excess water from the clothes you wore, leaving a puddle of water there. You avoided even looking in the direction of Joel, who you know is (most likely) currently butt naked. Instead, you find a moth-eaten blanket in a corner of the room that the rain hadn’t reached. Shivering uncontrollably, you wrap it around your waist, covering your exposed legs. You could see a not so naked Joel who had found some pieces of clothing to cover himself, thankfully. He was now hanging his wet clothes against the singular chair that he moved to one of the few dry spots in the house, so you opt to do the same. The room was still far from warm, and the leaky roof didn't help matters, but, at least you were in dry clothes, if you can call them that.
You spot the ever so tiny wood burning stove in the corner of an empty adjoining room. You check if there’s any wood in there, and to your surprise there is - however, not much of it. Enough for tonight, and that’s all that mattered. You started a small fire and quickly huddled up against it for warmth. Joel walked into the room, as he’d seen the light from the fire from the corner of his eye. He nodded in approval as he silently walked towards you, sitting down next to you to also keep warm. You both sit there in silence, waiting for the clothes to dry.
Joel broke the silence, his voice softer this time "We'll have to wait out the storm here, and then we can continue our journey." You nod, agreeing.
As the night wore on, the humidity in the room strangled the feeble fire you had managed to kindle earlier, ultimately snuffing it out. The temperature inside the safehouse plummeted, and it became apparent that you couldn't rely on the fire for warmth any longer “Damn it” You mutter, shivering once again, trying to revive the fire - to no avail.
What was also apparent was that the two of you were so obviously treading around the one thing you knew would help warm you up, very much proven by last night. Unsure, feeling awkward, you didn’t know if you should bring it up. Proudly, you both sat there in silence. The memory of the previous night and the warmth that entailed lingered in the back of both of your minds. It had been an unspoken but undeniable source of comfort in the midst of the harsh world you inhabited, and now, with the cold seeping into your bones, and the urgency to get warm overtaking the awkward tension looming over you, the thought of that shared warmth became impossible to ignore.
Without saying a word, you shifted closer to Joel, seeking his body heat. Joel, initially surprised, looking over at you, understood the unspoken request and shifted to accommodate you. It was an unspoken agreement, a silent acknowledgment that you needed each other's warmth to survive the harsh, cold night.
With a shared understanding of practicality and mutual vulnerability, you created a makeshift sleeping area consisting of zipped up sleeping bags, dry blankets and whatever else fabric you could spare that would dampen the solidity of the cold, damp floor. This was where you settled as you finally lay side by side. You tried to find a comfortable position, mirroring the way you had slept in the tent the night before, with him against your back. Your bodies pressed together, and your breaths synchronized in the cold darkness, neither of you speaking about it, rather you let your bodies instinctively gravitate closer, seeking the heat that the other provided.
In the quiet of the night, as you shared body heat to stave off the biting cold, the tension that had lingered between the two of you began to seemingly fade. Despite the uncomfortable surroundings and your strained relationship, you both found a strange comfort in your shared warmth and the familiarity of each other's presence. There was no need for snark, nor sly remarks; pissing each other off. Neither did you have to discuss the somewhat uncomfortable, albeit innocent yet necessary, situation you’ve found yourself in. The cold was unforgiving, and your priority was to avoid hypothermia. You were, after all, nothing but two survivors making the best of the harsh and unforgiving circumstances given to you, finding solace and comfort in each other's company, even if it was unconventional.
He hesitantly kept his arms to his side. Joel broke the silence, clearing his throat, his voice barely a whisper, "I never thought I'd miss that damn tent." trying to diffuse more of the tension.
You slightly laugh, feeling a slight cramp in your body from the duress of the situation. The laugh eased up some internal tension you didn’t even know you were holding onto. “It was for sure warmer than this” You chuckle.
He smiled. And that was that. You were both admittedly exhausted, and drifted off into a very well-earned sleep, lulled by the heat radiating between the two of you. Secretly, you couldn’t help but to wish for the extra warmth that came from his arms around you, as it did yesterday, holding you impossibly close, keeping you safe in his big strong arms. Little did you know that he was thinking the same, but it was simply a line that Joel couldn't bring himself to cross. You had already navigated enough awkwardness and unspoken emotions that night. That didn’t stop him, however, from subconsciously doing so in his sleep - just as he did the night before.
Morning came, and you were awakened by the sun shining through the window, and onto your face. To your surprise, you felt your body be wrapped in the warmth of Joel's embrace. He must have instinctively put his arm around you whilst he slept. At first, you felt a sense of contentment. It was strange, but also undeniable. It was a reassuring feeling, knowing that he was there, holding you tightly - just as you had secretly hoped. But, as your senses fully woke up, you became acutely aware of something else - a firm pressure against your back that couldn't be ignored. You froze, your eyes widening in shock, and your heart raced as you registered the presence of Joel's erection pressed against your back. Joel was still asleep, as far as you were concerned. His breath heavy and warm on your shoulder, light snores leaving his mouth. Your mind raced as you tried to process the situation. You two had already crossed so many boundaries during the night to stay warm, but this felt like an entirely different kind of boundary altogether. Was this intentional? Or just a physiological response to their proximity?
Was there a sick, twisted part of you that engulfed your mind with fantasies of alleviating the pressure burning in the pit of your stomach with the (from what your back could feel was a very appropriately sized) dick prodding at your back? Yes. You were only human, after all. Were you going to do anything about it? No. You knew this was not intentional, not realistically. You’re a grown woman and know that he couldn’t control it just as much as you couldn’t control your deep guttural reaction to such an… event.
You debated over your next moves, unsure of how to navigate this uncharted territory. If you move away, he will wake up, realize he has a boner and think it scared you off. But if you lie there, hoping it goes away, and he wakes up with a raging boner still in full swing rubbing against you - he’d be mortified. Him, being a proud man would never live that down, and would probably not talk to you again, or at least not know what to say, in the midst of his own embarrassment. After yesterday, and the progress you made in your ‘partnership’, you couldn’t help but to dread the deafening silence that came with the impending awkwardness. You’ve been through so much already, and have yet to even get close to finishing this mission. So much left yet to go through. You have crossed so many bridges, this is just one of them. This was just a fleeting moment and not as significant as it might feel in the heat of the moment. It’s not a big deal, not really, just bodies doing body stuff. Or at least that is what you are telling yourself.
Carefully, you adjusted your position ever so slightly, shifting your body away from his rock solid member to relieve the pressure between your bodies, all the while ensuring that you didn't wake him from his peaceful slumber. It was a delicate maneuver to maintain the pretense of sleep, but you hoped it would be enough for you to potentially feign ignorance, just in case he was awake. You, flustered by the situation and the thoughts lingering in your (albeit perverse) mind, could not fall back asleep. Rather, you lied there letting your thoughts run wild. Couldn't hurt to indulge into harmless fantasy?
A couple of moments later, you could feel shifting next to you. Joel slowly woke up, feeling the oh so familiar throbbing that welcomes him in the mornings from time to time. Joel comes to his senses as he gently wakes up, quickly remembering the way he fell asleep against you and how much of a compromising position that would be for him right now. He quickly snapped his eyes open to see, to his relief, that you had moved away in your sleep, or at least so he thought. ‘Phew’ he thought to himself. He quickly sprung to his feet, leaving the room - hoping it goes away before you wake. He was not entertaining the idea of taking care of it, it could be too risky.
Him waking up reminded you of his existence, which filled your lust driven mind with an enormous guilt and shame regarding your thoughts. He didn’t have control over that, and your insatiable mind went and ran with it. You quickly shook the thoughts off and tried to think of something else as you laid there, unsure how to proceed..
You laid still until you heard Joel packing his bag. You took it as an indication that you were out of the woods, and had dodged a bullet - even though the both of you are flustered by it, without the knowing that the other one knew. You get up, and start folding the cloth and blankets that made up your ‘bed’, and walked out to the room with the bags and packed. Joel didn’t say anything.
“G’mornin’” You announce your presence. He, already hyper aware of it, hums as a response. You don't look much into it, relieved he isn’t treating you differently considering last night's sleeping arrangements. When you packed up, you put your backpack around your shoulders, your rifle around your neck and the rest of your gear clinging to the bag. You look at Joel, who is watching you as you pull the straps of the bag. You look up and nod. “Let’s go?”
He nods. You’re off.
#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#joel tlou#tlou serie#tlou series#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#light angst#light smut#joel miller x you#here goes nothing
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Aplha!Yandere!Birch (Harry Potter) x Severus Snape
I just wanted to write something awful and nasty.
Warnings: Violence, Murder, Omegaverse, NonCon
Summary: Harry, as a baby, is left wondering the streets. Is found by a female assassin who takes him to America and raises him. Dumbledore and others find a lead, several years later, and travel to America.
Snape is sent out to make first contact. Things go downhill from there.
Birch was busying himself by cleaning up the mess from the party last night. He celebrated his 18th birthday and 60th successful hit in one day. His friends and colleagues were scattered around, dead to the world. One had even stolen his top to makeshift it into sleepwear.
As he was emptying the full trashcan in the kitchen, the front door of his mother's manor was opened. He looked over and spotted a man he had never seen before.
He was tall, unnaturally thin, and piercing dark eyes. His skin looked sickly olive, his long black hair seemed to slicked with oil, and his nose was curved. Everything about him seemed completely unattractive but, his scent, though dull, was simply divine.
Birch smiled and waved at the man. "Hey there, stranger." He slowly leaned on the kitchen counter, near the knives. Although he wanted to sink his teeth into the man in front of him, he still kept his caution.
The man looked at him, his mouth almost started to turn downward, until he saw his bare torso.
Birch knew he wasn't best the looking, with scars littering almost every inch of him. He couldn't help but flex, trying to show the physic he was proud of. His mouth started to water when the man kept observing him.
Their head shook and he looked at him with an almost glare. "Are you Birch Cross?" He finally asked.
A knife rested in Birch's hand, he took it while the man was distracted. "I am." He confirmed. It wasn't the first time someone stupidly bold came to him in person.
"My employer wishes to speak with you."
"Oh?" Birch slowly walked up to the man, knife behind his back. "And who is your employer?"
"A very powerful man." Was all the man said.
Birch swiftly brought the knife to the man's slender neck. "A name would much appreciated."
The man's eyes widen, full of surprise. There was no fear and his Adam apple grazed the blade as he spoke. "Albus Dumbledore."
◇◇◇◇
Birch didn't know what to expect when he followed the man, Severus, after he got dressed.
He wasn't surprised by him being a wizard. Severus was wearing wizarding clothes and Birch himself was a wizard.
What he was surprised about was that Dumbledore, a well known wizard, was asking for him. Birch didn't even think that such a light wizard would seek an assassin. He didn't even fathom that the old man could know about his profession.
Birch was brought to a warehouse, with a notice-me-not charm casted on it. He was meet with 5 people looking at him in awe.
He wasted no time. "What's the job?"
Everyone gave him a confused look.
"I'm quite sorry, my boy, but I don't believe Severus here has explained. Has he?" Dumbledore, the old man, asked.
Severus snorted. "I did not wish to be left with a such a task."
"Oh, come now, Severus. The boy deserved to know before we ambushed him with a serious task." A plump older man gently scowled.
"I can't believe my eyes." An elderly woman looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I thought I would never see you again."
Birch was completely confused. "What's going on here?"
"What's going on is that you're Harry Potter and you're coming with us to defeat Voldemort." A portly man with a magic eye slammed his cane down.
It wasn't a secret that Birch's mother took him in from the streets. He knew where he was from originally. Though he never imagined that he would be the fabled boy-who-lived. But, that was the past and he was taught to only care about the future.
"What's the price you're willing to pay?" Birch was a man of business, not a charity.
The portly man took out his wand. "There's no payment, either come with us willingly or by force, boy."
Dumbledore help up his hand in front of that man. "Let's not be hasty, Moody." He turned to Birch. "Now, Harry, I know this must be all too much to comprehend. Though I assure you we speak the truth."
"I could care less who you think I am. But, know this, I do not work for free." Birch crossed his arms, angling his hands to rest on his hidden pistols.
"This is about avenging your parents, there shouldn't be a price to speak of." Moody shouted.
"What do you mean you don't work for free?" The elderly woman asked. "What exactly is that you do, Harry?"
"I prefer being called Cross." Birch told her. "You came to me, shouldn't you know what I do?"
She shook her head.
"All we know is the name you were raised under and that you just graduated Ilvermorny." A young woman with pink hair, that was standing by, spoke.
Birch chuckled. "You should have learned more than that." He turned to leave. "Unless you can offer payment, I have nothing to say."
Before he could leave, Moody sent a stunning hex at him. Birch dodged and shot the man between the eyes. The eldest woman screamed, while the four others drew their wands. He kept one pistol on Dumbledore and the other on Severus.
"Bloody hell," the youngest cursed, "who are you?"
"Birch Cross, assassin for hire." Birch grinned.
"How did this happen?" The older woman sobbed.
Birch was losing his patience. "Now, I'm going to lower my weapons and leave. Is that understood?"
Dumbledore nodded and motioned for the others to follow suit. As Birch was about to leave the warehouse, he caught a reflection that showed Dumbledore raising his wand again.
His bullets didn't need words to fire. The old man laid prone on the floor. Dead.
His remaining companions looked in horror.
Birch felt the need for compensation for all the trouble and wasted bullets. He took out his own wand and stunned the remaining survivors. Their shock gave him the upper hand to leave with his prize.
Severus Snape, unconscious, was held securely in his arms.
♤♤♤♤
Severus woke disoriented, his head spinning while the surface he was on was moving.
He should have stayed behind in England but, the need to know where Lily's son was too powerful. Convincing the Dark Lord to let him go was not difficult. The man also wanted to know where the boy-who-lived was.
The mission was simple enough, find Potter, tell him about Voldemort, and take him back. It wasn't in the plans to have Dumbledore and Moody die at Potter's hand. Whoever took the boy truly created a monster.
As Severus started to to regain focus he noticed it wasn't the surface moving. He himself was moving.
He was stripped of clothing, his groin was dripping wet, something was slamming into him, and a body was above him.
Panicking, Severus tried to buck whoever it was off. His heart was hammering in his chest as the severity of the situation hit. 28 years of hiding, 28 years of taking surrprents, all thrown down the drain because of Potter's son.
He knew what Potter, no Cross, was thinking. How could someone so hideous be an omega? No one would want him unless they were absolutely smashed. Cross must of thrown him to the first completely pissed alpha for a cruel laugh.
The alpa above him gave a long lick to his mating glands. Severus tossed his body back to buck them off. It caused the cock inside him to dive deeper.
"What a good mate," Severus froze at the voice, "taking your alpha in so deep. Just wanting to be breed." It was Cross.
"Cease this nonsense at once." He snarled. How dare the Cross do such a heinous act. He wasn't like Potter, he was worse.
Cross scented his neck. "Going to give you my knot, my mark, and my pup." His hips slammed harder.
Severus was losing his mind, he kept trying throw off Cross with no luck. He was starting to see stars, starting to lose his mind, starting to feel pleasure. Tears started to run down his face. He was powerless.
The last thing he felt was Cross' knot and his scent gland being pierced by teeth.
◇◇◇◇
Birch looked down in his arms and spotted Severus, still sound asleep. His neck was caked in blood from his mating bite. The contrast of his skin and the bedding made the deep red seem darker.
Birch spent his time admiring his new mate. He didn't know what took over him, but his scent drove him wild. He inspected every inch and only frowned at the cursed mark on his arm. He would need to have that removed.
He lowered himself to the slit hidden between his legs. The scent was strongest there, whatever surpresents he was using could not hide his natural scent. Birch lapped at the opening, not caring that his own spent was mixed in. He felt like a starved man finally given food.
His tongue reached as far as it could, licking the walls of his mate. Pleasure ran through his body at the reminder that this was his mate.
Mating was quite rare, most were driven off by scent. Any strong smell had the opposite effect of attracting a mate. Very few find a scent appealing and they tend to be very compatible in producing offspring. Birch was looking forward to seeing how many offspring they could conceive.
As he continued servicing his mate, Severus started to moan. His hands reached down and scraped Birch's scalp with his nails. He grinded down on his face, trying to get more pleasure. Birch was more than willing.
Severus arched his back in completion. Drowning Birch in his juices. When he regained composure, he scrambled back.
"What did you do to me?" He looked at him with fear. "What did you do?" He shouted at him.
Birch licked his lips. He grabbed Severus by the ankles and dragged him back flat on the bed. He threw his legs over his shoulders and didn't waste time to sink back in.
Severus tried to attack him, but he trapped his arms above his head. He was completely helpless underneath him, open to be breed properly.
"Poor omega." Birch whispered in his ear. "All these years without a good mate, that you can't tell you're being bred." He threw his weight at every thrust, making sure his mate could feel him.
Severus screamed and spat every insult he knew. "Get off me, this isn't a game."
Birch frowned. How could he think mating was a game?
Grabbing Severus by the face, he forced him to look at him. "You're mine, my mate, I will never let you leave my side." He swallowed his lips in a deep kiss before pulling the man upright.
Severus, with free arms, pushed and clawed at Birch as if his life depended on it. "Stop it, you've proven your point. Let me go, Potter!"
Birch stopped mid thrust, gently laying his mate down. Unhooking his legs from his shoulders, placing them on his his hips, he looked at Severus with a frown.
Severus looked up at him in confusion. Birch lowered his head and kissed his chest. "My name is Birch Cross." Bewteen each kiss and lick he would repeat his name. Trying to make his mate associate the pleasure to himself.
Severus kept trying to escape, using all his freed limbs the hit and punch the man above him. When Birch sucked on a sensitive spot, between his ribs, he gasped. Birch gave an onslaught of nips and kisses to his side. It left him breathless. The only voice heard was of Birch, who was still repeating his own name.
"Birch!" Severus was finally able to shout.
Birch ceased his actions with a smile. "Now, that wasn't too hard." He kissed the breathless man beneath him. "Let me hear you say it again."
Severus was lost in pleasure and the lack of oxygen. As soon as Birch slammed into him, he shouted his name.
With every thrust and kiss, Birch's name fell from his mate's mouth. He lost himself at the tightness of his mate. The way he sucked him back in, not letting his cock go. How freshly pink his slit was every time he pulled back. Even his small useless penis and testicles bouncing were memorizing. Everything about his mate was simply divine.
Feeling his knot swell, Birch started to thrust harder, finding an angle that had his mate howling. The spraying of his mate's release made his knot slip inside without resistance.
Birch hummed in happiness as held his mate and laid them on their side. Severus was breathing heavily as Birch peppered his face with kisses.
As the high of pleasure calmed down, Severus tried pulling back. But, the knot had them tied together for at least a few more minutes. Both hissed at the pull and Birch dragged his mate back in his arms.
"What exactly are you getting out of this, Cross?" Severus asked with a snarl.
"A mate." Birch nuzzled the side of his face.
Severus shoved his face away. "And how was I the perfect candidate? Or, do wish to humiliate me even further?"
"You scent," Birch took a breath of said scent, "it drives me insane."
"My scent?" The word was spat out like vemon. "Don't be ridiculous, I've had surpresents nullifying my scent for years."
Birch rocked his knot inside his mate. "Surpresents hide gender, not scent." A fact forgotten by many. Always confusing scent being tied to the second gender rather than the person.
"Stop moving, Cross." Severus' face was laced with fear and disgust. "We're already tied together, what more do you want?"
"To be tied forever."
A spike of dread plunged through Severus.
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New Horizons | Keys
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Keys falls in love... with the new Animal Crossing game — keys x gn!reader fluff
warnings: none :)
words: 0.7k
a/n: am I really writing more keys fanfic after my last one flopped even harder than i ever imagined?? yes.
Keys had been waiting so long for the new game to come out. You had already heard him express his excitement a thousand times and it just made you happy to see him so happy.
"The original and Wild World were my childhood, you know? I used to get on those games as soon as I got home from school and I wouldn't put them down until my parents made me go to sleep!" He would tell you several times in the lead-up to the new release. "I didn't play New Leaf as much though. But one of my college dorm mates did have it so I played it sometimes to de-stress."
He had ordered it in advance, so all he needed to do on the release date was go to the local games store and pick it up. When he came home a few minutes later than usual from work last night, you remembered why when you saw the plastic bag in his hands.
"I got it, babe!" He said with an ear-to-ear smile.
His face was so happy that you just felt his excitement pass on to you. You suggested ordering a 'New Horizons release day dinner' as if that was a thing anyone was doing, and you called in a delivery order from your favourite Thai restaurant just a few blocks down.
He started loading the game onto the switch connected to your tv after you placed the order and you made him promise to take a break when dinner gets here. You knew better than anyone that Keys will get into something, then put every single drop of his focus into it, blocking out everything else—besides you, of course; he could never ignore you.
Once the game was loaded and ready to play, Keys started designing his character in the game. He tried getting all the colours right to make sure it looked perfect to start with, even though you reminded him he could probably change it later.
“See? And you can make a little version of you after and our avatars can be just a little version of us!”
After he finished making his character, you decided to take a break and go have a shower since you figured it would be worldbuilding and exposition for a little bit, and you knew your boyfriend would just explain all of that to you later anyways.
After you came out in a pair of striped pyjamas that you put on to avoid getting dressed in real clothes again, you saw that Keys had brought in the takeout, eaten his portion, and was already running around the island doing random tasks to pay off Tom Nook’s surprise loan.
Throughout the evening, Keys gave you turns using his character to fish and catch bugs and help him start off the game. It was fun and you loved having him teach you all about everything related to Animal Crossing, but you got tired after a while.
You kissed his neck and mumbled a goodnight to him. “I’m gonna head to bed, and I’m hoping you join me so don’t stay up too late, okay?”
“Okay, babe. I’ll shut it off soon.”
He did not shut the game off anytime soon. You knew this because you woke up to something he was angrily muttering to himself in the middle of the night. All you could hear of it was something about a ‘goddamn sea bass’. You trudged out of the bedroom, rubbing your eyes sleepily.
“I thought you said you’d be done soon.” You said, sitting down next to him on the couch.
“I can leave now. What time is it?” He stood still in the game until the clock showed up in the corner of the screen. “Oh my god, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how late it was. I just got distracted trying to start the perfect island life for us.” He pressed a button on the controller in his left hand to save the game and he turned off the screen.
You smiled at him, then took his hand so you could both go to bed together. “You can see a perfect apartment life with me if you don't stay up all night playing video games.”
#walter keys mckey#keys free guy#keys mckey#keys x reader#keys x y/n#keys x you#free guy keys#keys fluff#free guy#free guy fanfiction#free guy fluff#joe keery#joe keery fanfiction#joe keery fluff
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Begin Again - Part 6
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I’ve been enjoying writing this waaayyyy too much. Koss is just such a perfect target for teasing and...yep. Anyway, enjoy!
Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here. Part 5 here.
Cross-posted to AO3 here.
~*~
Koss (ST:ENT) x Reader
[A/N: This is smut adjacent with mentions of innuendo, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]
Warnings: Mutual pining, mild innuendo, discussion of a wet dream, ozh’esta (Vulcan finger kiss), public flirting Vulcan style, Soval gives The Pon Farr Talk, one of the two idiots begins to put two and two together.
~*~
I really should have taken Koss’s robe back to him the next day. That would have been the logical, polite thing to do, but I didn’t. The night he’d lent it to me, I fell asleep wearing it. I didn’t mean to, really I didn’t. I laid down - just for a few minutes to attempt to process what had happened between us - and the comforting, familiar scent of my neighbor on his robe lulled me to sleep before I could even consider taking it off.
Embarrassingly, even my dreams weren’t free of his influence. My subconscious mind had latched onto the sensation of Koss sweeping me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing at all. The soothing sturdiness of his warm, strong chest against my bare skin and the heady realization that we were entirely nude while in such close proximity had made my head spin in the moment. In my dreams, that became the main focus.
Images of impassioned kisses and breathy moans against burning skin flashed through my mind, making for a rather rude awakening by my morning alarm. Waking up hot and bothered was one thing, but to do it while wrapped in Koss’s robe? That felt entirely scandalous.
My morning routine was a blur that day, and when I got to the Embassy to start my shift, I realized I’d tossed Koss’s robe on over my uniform tunic instead of my own. Leaving it draped over my chair in my office, I tried to get through the day without anyone being the wiser about my little mix-up. Soval even caught sight of it once, but if he recognized the robe as Koss’s, he didn’t give any indication of it.
One Embassy employee must not have liked my perfume, though. He gave a little sniff when we were in the lift together, and he promptly turned a rather dark shade of green as he averted his gaze. Huh. Oh well. That wasn’t the weirdest thing to happen to me. Making a mental note to wear a different perfume on my next shift, I brushed that off and got on with my day.
A few evenings later, I prepared to give the borrowed robe back to my neighbor. There had been several opportunities to return it to him, but...well, I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to do it. I was almost embarrassed that I’d waited so long. After all, it wasn’t as if Koss was my partner. How could I excuse my behavior? Surely it would seem illogical to a Vulcan if I said ‘I kept your robe a little longer than I should have because your scent relaxes me.’ That would only make Koss think I was some kind of creep.
The evening that I was determined to return it to him, I washed it by hand and took the time to examine the fabric more closely. The deep, brown cloth was soft and well-worn. Koss had clearly spent many hours nestled in its warm embrace. There were many places along the robe’s length where Koss had mended tears and holes, but the bottom hem near one of the corners was beginning to come undone. A small smile made itself at home on my lips at his attention to detail where he’d sewn the robe back together. He’d matched the stitching exactly.
Attention to detail seemed to be a common theme with him. Even when it came to our socializing, Koss always made sure that I was comfortable and that my needs were met. I really needed to find some way to thank him.
As I folded the worn material, I had an idea. Hurrying downstairs and over to Koss’s door, I took a deep breath and rang his door chime. Koss looked thoroughly surprised to see me smiling up at him when his door slid open.
“Hi! Sorry, am I bothering you?”
“I always welcome your presence, but you do not typically visit me in the afternoons. Is everything alright, ashaya?” He asked as he stepped aside to allow me into his home.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I promise. I just wanted to, um...” I stammered, but I trailed off as I caught sight of his living space. Memories from the last time I was here swept up to greet me, and I blinked in surprise as I realized that being here again felt like coming home. Noticing how long I’d been silent, I cleared my throat and turned to face Koss. “I remembered that I still had your robe, so I’m here to return it.”
“Thank you, but there was no rush, I assure you,” he said walking over to me and accepting the folded robe. “Was that...all you came here to do?”
“No, actually. I was wondering if you were familiar with any farmer’s markets around here?” At his look of confusion, I tried to clarify. “A place that sells fresh local produce.”
“Ah. Yes, I am. There is one not far from here. Why? Are you not receiving adequate food supplies?” He seemed utterly alarmed and protective at the prospect, but I placed a calming hand on his arm.
“I’m well-fed, I promise. When it comes to Vulcan produce, though, the variety offered by the Embassy provisional department is a little limited. I wanted to try my hand at a sort of fusion cuisine, but I can’t seem to find the right kind of fruit. I was hoping a local market might offer something I haven’t had the chance to experience yet,” I explained, and Koss relaxed substantially. Even if he could never feel the same way that I did, it was sweet how much he cared for his friends. “You said there was one nearby?”
“Yes, it is a short walk from here. I can escort you there tomorrow morning, if that is convenient.”
“That’s very sweet of you, but I’m sure I can find my way without you having to play tour guide. Surely you have better things to do?”
“It is no bother,” Koss said setting his robe aside and taking a step closer to me. “Besides, I would happily be your ‘tour guide’ if you’d allow me.”
Did he look hopeful or was I projecting my own emotions onto him?
“Alright, then. I accept your offer.” Koss nodded his head in approval just as a small thump came from the door at the back of his home. We both turned to see I’Tol sitting with his big, fluffy paw against the glass.
“Your introduction to him was not...entirely pleasant. Would you be comfortable if I allowed him inside? Or would you prefer that I wait until you depart?”
I looked over at him and smiled.
“Oh, he’s just a big teddy bear. Go on.” At my permission, Koss walked over to the door and slid it open, letting the big fluff inside. Much more sedately than our previous encounter, the sehlat walked over and flopped on his back in front of me again. As I knelt and rubbed his belly, Koss strode over to us and sat beside me.
“How odd. I’Tol never behaves this way with others, yet he has done so twice with you,” he murmured, and I looked over to find my neighbor already observing me closely. Blushing under his intense gaze, I looked back at his saber-toothed bear.
“Maybe he can tell that I’m good with animals,” I suggested, but Koss just slid a little closer to me. “On Earth, there are people who believe that pets, especially dogs, can instinctively tell good people from bad.”
“If that is true of sehlats, then you are undoubtedly an exceptional person,” Koss murmured. When I looked over at him, he was wearing an expression that was so open and full of kindness that my breath hitched in my throat. He really meant it.
With a rustle of fur, I’Tol stood and padded off to a large cushion at the side of the living space that appeared to be his bed, and Koss and I got to our feet.
“Thank you for letting me see him again. I’ll um...I’ll leave you in peace. See you tomorrow?”
Koss agreed and walked me to the door. As I made my way home, I wondered what that look of his had meant.
--
The next morning, I donned a set of lightweight robes for the trek to the marketplace. It turned out to be a shorter distance than I’d anticipated. How had I not found this place sooner?
What must have been dozens of stalls were set up with vendors selling produce and pieces of local craftsmanship. Vulcans of every shape, size, and color milled about examining various items and speaking quietly amongst themselves.
As Koss and I chatted and made our way through the crowd, something bounced off my leg with a little grunt. Looking down, I spotted a young girl looking up at me with wide eyes.
“Ni'droi'ik nar-tor,” she stammered as if she was afraid that I’d hurt her. I supposed that my ears didn’t help. Bumping into an alien in the middle of a Vulcan market must have been startling. Releasing Koss’s arm, I smiled and helped her carefully to her feet. Brushing a bit of dirt off her robe, I noted that she didn’t appear hurt, at least.
“T’Ria,” a voice called, and the little girl called back. A Vulcan woman made her way through the crowd as I stood straight again, and she glanced between myself and her child. The two exchanged a few quiet words in Vuhlkansu, and the mother gave me a small, respectful nod of her head. “Lesek, t’sai...osu.”
We returned her gesture and the two went about their business. When I looked back at Koss, he was examining me as if he was attempting to decipher a puzzle.
“Did I do something wrong?” My voice seemed to knock him back to reality.
“No. Not at all,” he said, but his voice sounded rougher than before.
Once we returned to our path through the stalls, we finally found the section that would hopefully yield the results I wanted: the fruit stalls. I didn’t recognize the majority of the fruit being displayed, so I quietly asked Koss what they were.
Several sounded intriguing, but it wasn’t until we reached a vendor selling little yellow i’su’ke berries that I knew I’d found what I was looking for. Koss described them as being tart, but pleasant if accompanying something sweet. The bright pink ones beside them were called g’teth berries, and they were, apparently naturally sweet.
Perfect.
Removing my hand from his arm to examine the fruit, I purchased just enough to make the surprise I was planning, plus a little extra. There was something to be said about having a little more than you needed when experimenting with a new recipe. Mistakes were bound to happen, after all.
Exchanging the correct amount of currency with the kindly vendor, I stowed the fruit in my shopping bag. When I turned back to where Koss had been standing only a moment before, he was nowhere to be seen. Glancing around, I spotted his broad shoulders moving back through the crowd toward me with something in his hand.
He led me to an empty side section of the market before speaking again.
“Forgive my absence, ashalik. While you were occupied, I made a small detour to another stall. Would you indulge me for a moment by turning around?” I looked at him curiously, but I did as he asked. Why wouldn’t I? The warmth of his presence moved closer to me, and his arms reached around me.
Within his grasp was a silver chain with a deep, red stone - I took a guess that it was a garnet or something similar. The way the light reflected and refracted off the stone’s many facets put any other jewelry I owned to shame. Once the necklace was secured around my throat, Koss swept my hair out from under the metal to its former position. Was I imagining things or did his fingers linger just a beat longer than was necessary over my pulse?
“I thought this pendant appropriate for one whose passions have carried her across the stars,” he murmured somewhat closer to my ear than I had expected. This felt like more than just a casual gift from a friend, though. I knew what I so desperately wanted it to be, even if it was impossible. “You are an admirable, venerable woman, and knowing you is my greatest pleasure.”
I didn’t know what to say. What could I say in the wake of such a sincere compliment?
Before I could find my voice and the correct words to say, part of the crowd moved closer to us, and Koss grasped my hand lightly to guide me away. A few moments later, he pulled me carefully to a stop outside a small shop with his hand still holding mine.
“Would you like to share some tea before we return home? I am familiar with this particular tea maker. He is quite skilled.” He looked so hopeful. How could I possibly refuse?
Smiling up at him, I agreed, and Koss escorted me inside.
“Shif pasu.” The waiter nodded his head at Koss’s request before leading us to a table for two in a secluded little corner. This felt surprisingly intimate, just like many of the other things we’d done together. Was I crazy or was there more to our interactions than I’d previously assumed?
When we were served a single, slightly larger than normal cup of tea, I looked at Koss curiously.
“Is this a Vulcan custom?” A hint of green dusted his cheeks at my question.
“It is, ashaya. However, if you would prefer a second cup–”
“No, no, this is perfectly fine. I was just curious. I’m afraid I don’t know as much about your culture and customs as I should outside of the diplomatic arena,” I explained, and he visibly relaxed.
“I would be gratified to teach you whatever you wish to know,” he said gesturing for me to take the first sip. As I did so, he continued. “For example, this particular custom is traditionally a gesture of trust and familiarity between two individuals. This tea shop is often frequented by couples beginning a courtship.”
“Really?” I asked as I set the cup back down in the middle of the table. “May I ask why that is?”
“To share food and drink - resources which have been scarce throughout our planet’s history - signifies one person’s desire to ensure the survival of the other,” he explained before taking a sip of the tea.
“So...the pair two tables to our left is sharing a cup, as well. Are they...’courting,’ as you called it?” The term sounded rather Victorian, but I wasn’t about to criticize them. I was just happy to be learning something new about Koss and his people. He glanced over at the table I’d indicated, then back at me.
“I have no doubt that they are,” he replied sounding certain of the fact.
“But they’re behaving just like anyone else. Besides the tea, I can’t see anything that sets their behavior apart. What makes you so sure?” I asked curiously, and the barest hint of mischief sparkled in his eyes.
“Look at their hands,” he instructed quietly. I did so as stealthily as I could manage, and I saw that atop the table, the man’s first two fingers were resting over the same fingers on the woman’s hand. When I looked back at my companion, he must have realized that only raised more questions than it answered. “That is quite intimate physical contact.”
What? But Koss had held my hands much more firmly than that tiny, little point of contact. Why was that so different?
“How so?” At my question, he blushed more prominently.
“Lay your hand on the table in the same position as theirs,” he murmured, and I did as he said - of course I did. I trusted him, after all. Delicately, Koss laid his hand on the table, allowing two of his fingers to lay atop mine. A soft, pleasant, dizzying sort of warmth wound its way up my arm from the point of contact, and I looked up at my neighbor curiously. “This is a variation of a gesture called an ozh’esta.”
“Does it always feel like...like this?” I had no idea how to describe the sensation he’d thrust upon me, but I had to assume this was normal for this particular gesture.
“I do not know. What are you feeling?” He asked looking almost surprised.
“Warmth, I suppose, but that doesn’t quite describe it fully. This feels different somehow,” I murmured, realizing how ridiculous I must have sounded.
“I...was unaware that Humans could experience what we do with the ozh’esta. Your species has no telepathic ability,” he muttered. Telepathy? Was that why Vulcans dislike physical contact? Tilting his head curiously, he blinked and the warmth his touch had inspired changed to a subtle, pulsing, tingling sensation. “And now?”
I described it to the best of my ability, and Koss’s eyes darkened as his pupils dilated. After a short burst of what felt like pure pleasure, he removed his hand from mine and took a bracing sip of tea.
“Forgive me. I should not have behaved so inappropriately.”
“You didn’t, Koss, I promise.” I touched his wrist lightly, and he looked at me with surprise written all over his face. Giving him a small smile, I tried to reassure him. “You were teaching me. Thank you for the lesson and for the insight into your culture.”
“You...are welcome,” he said just above a whisper as I sipped our tea. Once our cup was empty, Koss paid the tab and we made our way back toward home.
We paused outside my door moments later, and I turned to face him. He was already looking at me with an expression that - if he’d been Human - I’d have described as softly affectionate. But he couldn’t feel that way about me.
“I just want to thank you for today. I know you probably had better things to do, but I really enjoyed myself. I mean, that’s no surprise, really, because I always enjoy spending time with you, Koss.”
“As do I, ashaya,” he murmured as his eyes skimmed my face.
“You know, if you come by after your evening meal tomorrow, I’ll have a surprise ready for you,” I said with a little wink. Koss tilted his head curiously, but before he could ask what I meant, I stood on my tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “See you for a swim tonight?”
“I...Yes, of course,” he stammered, and I gave him one last smile before heading inside. Now, all I had to do was make sure the recipe would work the way I wanted.
--
The next day, Soval and I arrived in the Embassy lobby at the same time. We offered each other the ta’al salute as usual, and made our way to the turbolift.
“I take it you had a pleasant day of rest?” Soval inquired as the lift began moving. He sounded almost amused.
“I did, but what’s with the tone?” I asked curiously, but all he did was raise an eyebrow.
“Koss escorted you to the market stalls yesterday, did he not?”
“He did, but how did you know that?” There was no reason for my cheeks to start burning, yet they did. We hadn’t done anything wrong.
“I saw a pair resembling the two of you. The male seemed to be quite a dedicated provider,” Soval stated, and my cheeks heated further. “You were aware that his behavior is that of a male who wishes to win a potential mate’s affections, were you not?”
“I...Soval, you’ve got it all wrong. Koss doesn’t see me like that. I’m not a Vulcan woman.” We stepped out of the lift and started walking toward our shared office. “We went shopping and shared some tea. That’s all.”
“Do you view him as a potential mate?” He asked, and I stopped in my tracks. I had strong feelings for Koss, that much I was certain of, but I knew he could never reciprocate them. Why should he?
“I like him probably more than is proper, but, ultimately, it doesn’t matter,” I murmured resuming my stride, and the Ambassador gave me a quizzical look.
“Explain.”
“Vulcans abhor emotional behavior. I’m a Human. We’re pretty damned emotional. I highly doubt that someone as illogical as I am would be seen as a viable choice for a romantic partner for a man like him.” The door to our office slid open, and we both stepped inside.
“But you do desire to be seen that way by him?” I barely managed an embarrassed nod of confirmation. “I submit to you that he already sees you as such.”
“Your evidence?” I expected no more than a knowing glance, but he surprised me.
“You wore his robe to the Embassy while it still held his scent. He would not have given that to you if he did not wish to express a desire to protect you. His scent was mixed with yours for the duration of the day. No doubt anyone who encountered you that day is now aware that you are under a Vulcan’s protection. Accompanying you to the market, adorning you with a piece of jewelry he’d purchased, and sharing tea with you in a public area - all are actions which illustrate his desire and ability to provide for you. Such behavior would be quite obvious to a Vulcan female as that of a male desiring courtship, because those traits are ones heavily and instinctively sought after in a future mate,” Soval said, but I could do no more than blink in surprise. “Has he attempted to demonstrate his physical fitness to you?”
Memories of our swims together flashed through my mind’s eye, including the time he’d swept me up in his arms so easily. Perhaps his teasing wasn’t quite as innocent as I’d previously assumed it to be.
“Should I take your silence as a confirmation?” I nodded my head silently, then another thought occurred.
“What...? I mean, does serving someone breakfast count as a demonstration that you can provide for them?”
Soval’s eyes widened almost comically.
“I will not ask how that particular opportunity arose, but if he did so unprompted, then yes. I believe it was,” he said with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
Oh my god, had Koss been trying to flirt with me the whole time? Was I really so oblivious? Had I done anything to make him think I was rejecting him?
“Ambassador, I should warn you that Vulcan males can be quite single-minded when they have decided that someone would be their ideal mate. If you wish to dissuade him, you must do so clearly and quickly–”
“What if I wanted to reciprocate?”
Soval leaned back against his desk with an almost proud tilt to his chin. Had he been hoping for this outcome?
“It would appear that you are already doing quite well on your own, despite not being fully aware of the implications of your actions,” he stated tilting his head slightly. “By allowing him to complete these tasks and showing your gratitude for them, you have demonstrated that you are open to - and accepting of - his attentions. However, it is likely that he is aware of the vast cultural difference between your species. As such, he may not view these reciprocal gestures as intentional. You may need to be a bit more overt in your own actions.”
At his advice, a plan began to form in my mind. Maybe there was a way I could show Koss how I felt.
“One last concern, which I suspect will become relevant soon: how much do you know of Vulcan biological cycles?” The deep, emerald blush that ignited to the tips of Soval’s ears made my eyes widen. At my confused look, he set the office door to conference mode so that we wouldn’t be disturbed. Clearly, whatever I knew wasn’t as thorough as whatever he was about to tell me. “We do not speak of such things publicly or to outsiders, but yours is...a unique situation. Every seven years...”
~*~*~
Vulcan Words:
ashaya = love
ni'droi'ik nar-tor = I am sorry
lesek = thank you
t’sai = Lady (as an honorific title)
osu = sir
ashalik = darling
shif = pair
pasu = table
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Erm, hello!
I am an aspiring writer. I have these stories in my head that I love and want to write about. But when I try, it's the absolute worst shit I've ever seen in my life.
Sorry, what I'm trying to ask is, any tips for younger writers who have no idea what they're doing...?
Hi! I have no idea what I'm doing ever, but I'll try to answer as best as I can. I'll start with generic advice, then say what works for me specifically. Sorry this got so long.
We're all kind of fumbling through life. The writing habits that I have have come from three sources:
a) hearing what other people do and building from them. I'm always in one writers group or another (currently I'm in a local writers group, and I'm regularly involved with two different NaNoWriMo groups in November, one locally and one virtually) and I've picked up a lot from them
b) a metric fuckton of trial and error. Because while part (a) is great some of the time, most of the things that work for other people don't work for me. I can't set a strict schedule at the same time everyday. I can't edit for a long time after I write.
c) NaNoWriMo (see link) helped me SO MUCH. I don't think everything can be written that way, but in terms of getting a handle on your own voice, preventing yourself from stopping to edit, and letting the story flow on its own, NaNo is amazing. It's a great starting point. Editing can come later, once the words are done on the page.
If you're unfamiliar, it's a (totally free) event that happens in November every year where everyone tries to write 50,000 words of a brand new novel in the span of one month. That's 1,667 words per day, so there isn't much time to stop and edit as you go. You just keep going. It's a competition against yourself rather than anyone else, to see if you can accomplish the task. It's also a community based event, so you can commiserate with other writers about the bad and celebrate with them about the good.
They have smaller events in April and July, but to really get the feel of it, November is when it's a party (or a rollercoaster, either way). I went to write-ins in cafes, bars, grocery stores, on the subway, etc. The event is a whole vibe, and now they have in person events again (they paused for covid). If you want to stay virtual, they have that too!
And as for what works for me:
1.
This most certainly wouldn't work for everyone, but it's my current strategy:
I think best when I'm in motion. By far. So most of my storyboarding I do while walking or driving, and I dictate into the notes app on my phone.
I do most of my dialogue this way too, because speaking it out loud makes it feel more like a conversation and more natural. I won't dictate the narration, but I'll include action tags. So it comes out like "Anthony: *flings door open, eyes wide* what in blazes are you doing??" (I add punctuation later)
Then when I get home, I often have several thousand words of notes to work from. My notes file for my last fic was 30k words, almost all of which had been dictated. It's a lot. It might sound daunting.
But it was done while out for a walk or drive, so it felt easy and effortless. And then when it came time to actually write, I got 48,000 words of a first draft done in 8 days (about 15k of which was just copy pasted from the outline. The whole time it felt like cheating and using guidelines to write the actual story, but it was all my original work, just done at different times.
2.
Keep writing as an exciting treat rather than a chore.
I've started to create little writers retreats for myself. My friends and I rented an AirBnB for two nights this winter, where the entire goal was reading and writing. Sure there was sitting around the fire talking and eating good food, but we built it up so that the writing was the exciting part. It worked SO WELL. We did writing activities together too, not just staring at a word doc. We did character studies and made little AUs to imagine our characters in.
A friend and I took a six hour road trip for another writers retreat too. We spent the 12 hours (RT) in the car talking about our stories and characters. We'd started with dozens of prompts so we'd have enough material, and we never ran out. Then we took rest stops at gas stations and restaurants and did little 15 minute writing sprints. It really got me fired up. I wrote 6,000 words over the two days of that retreat!
Keeping writing fun can be big things (my sister and I did a writers retreat like that in Hawaii) or little things (I always treat myself to a donut and a coffee on Sunday mornings and then have a leisurely morning in the cafe writing).
I can't say if any of this will work for you, because I can't even say whether it'll still work for *me* in a few years. But I hope it's food for thought!
Anyway this is like one million words long so sorry about that, hope it was interesting.
#psa for nanowrimo#thats what this felt like#but i cannot speak highly enough of that organizations work#they are the reason i forced myself to write when it felt like a chore#and the reason i remembered i love it#nanowrimo#writing#habits#i have a lot to say on this subject obviously so sorry i said all of it#fanfiction#creative writing#writing goals#just writer things#also that line from anthony isnt real but i wanna work it into assumptions my regency novel#new writers on tumblr#young writers#millennial writer#creative process#novel#storyboarding#dialogue#thinking beat in motion#i feel like thats an adhd thing but i could be making that up
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An ex-con wants to investigate a defeated cult [that was] based on a mass grave, but justice will come too late for the living.
Prompt Can be found on my blog, along with other writing prompts.
Fandom: Buffy
Relationship: None really -- features Faith
Post Show One Shot
Faith stood in the graveyard, hands on her hips. Something about tonight’s patrol felt… off, and not in a good way. She debated calling Buffy to see if it was a Slayer intuition thing, then shrugged the idea off. She needed to trust her own instincts more, now that she was out of prison. She appreciated Buffy and Angel’s decision to not send her back, what with her helping stop another apocalypse and all. While Sunnydale was still a large hole in the ground, the area around it had started to develop, treating the cave in as some new valley.
The hellmouth was always going to attract new souls to torment. But that was one of the Junior Slayer problems; she and Buffy had left for different corners of the earth. She did the math again — Detroit was on central where Buffy was, and Faith supposed she was roughly seven hours ahead. She picked up the phone and dialed.
“Greetings, Faith,” the soft British voice came through the phone. Giles had returned to England after Evil tried to even the scales. He was working with Willow and Little Summers to start back up the Watcher program.
“Hey Giles,” Faith replied. “My spidey senses are acting up; wanted to check in.”
“Interesting. Where are you patrolling these days, again?” She heard a click as he put her on speaker phone so he could move between books easier.
“Greece. I stopped through on my way to Croatia. Figured I’d get a tan during the day, kill some vamps at night. But now I’ve got the willies,” she said.
“Greece in August? Something about that does sound familiar. Dawn’s just finished cooking dinner; let us look through some books and call you back.”
“Sounds good; give my best to the little one.” Faith hung up before Giles could offer any response. The relationship between the old Scooby gang and her was still rocky; it likely always would be. She put the phone into her back pocket and continued on her patrol.
It didn’t take long before someone fell into step behind her. She didn’t turn or let on she knew they were there, but continued walking the dark streets, hands in her leather coat. Fifteen minutes later, she couldn’t deny that not only was she being followed, but she was now outnumbered five to one.
She rolled her neck, popping and stretching it out. Realistically she was still as limber and flexible as she had been when called to be a slayer, but that didn’t mean she could completely ignore that she was aging. Even still, five to one — even if it turned out to be five vampires — was still a walk in the park. “All right, I think we can all agree following a woman while she walks alone at night is grounds for kicking your ass, so might as well come out now.”
It was silent around her for a moment before several people stepped out from the shadows, maintaining their distance. “We need your help,” a small man standing in front of her said.
“Sorry, not working on commission these days. Plus, following a woman at night for her help is hella icky,” Faith replied.
“I assure you we mean you no harm,” a second one spoke up. Faith looked over at the woman as she stepped into a street light. “You’re Faith Lehane, correct?”
Faith felt her pulse pick up as she tried to keep herself from reaching for a weapon. “Who’s asking?” she bit out. She felt her phone buzz with an incoming call, which she ignored. Even if it was Giles, this took precedent.
The woman in the street light sighed, rubbing her eyes. “My name is Adriana Clark. I am on loan for the museum you’re trespassing through.”
Faith looked around, realizing she was standing in a courtyard. “Ah — sorry. I wasn’t paying attention; I can get off your property.”
“That’s not what I’m asking, actually. Forgive my bluntness, but you are the slayer, correct? We called the Watcher organization, but given what’s happened over the last few years, we weren’t expecting a quick response.” She held her hands up, showing that they were empty. “Could we convince you to come inside and chat?”
Faith surveyed the group as they all came into the light. While none of them looked particularly tough, she wasn’t convinced they were entirely human. Still, she was intrigued in what a museum would need with a Slayer.
“Yeah okay. I could use a coffee.”
She followed the crew through the back door into a building, down a corridor of office doors. The conference room they stepped into was cozy, with research papers and folders spread out throughout the room. It reminded Faith of Willow’s organized chaos over the years. They even had a cork board with documents posted to it. She felt her phone buzz again, this time with a text message. She pulled out her phone, confirming Dawn had messaged her.
“Giles looking more info on Greece and Slayer spidey senses. Further deets?” - Dawn
Faith shot back a text: “Ambushed by museum geeks. Not sure if related? Who is Adriana Clark?” She put kept her phone in her hand as she put it back in her coat pocket. “Whatcha got for me, doc?”
“The Edwardian cult is back,” Adriana responded, no preamble. Before Faith could ask, she added, “they were a cult defeated back in the 1200s. Archeologist often confuse their worship sites as mass graves due to violence or war, but its a sign of devotion.”
She pulled a few folders of info together and passed it to Faith, who started reading the top page. It took her a few minutes to read through the first few pages and finally put together what had these people so concerned. She pulled her phone out, hitting redial.
“Hey Little Summers,” she said when Dawn picked up. “Fire up the Scooby jet. It’s time to head to Greece and stop another apocalypse.”
#writing prompt#Buffy#buffy the vampire slayer#Faith#Faith Lehane#Faith buffy#Willow Ro#Rupert Giles
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reading this chapter was truly an emotional journey for me - i wrote a page of notes while reading that are completely incoherent but i will recount here anyway
firstly, of course chip is a pun girly we have known this forever, but every time she makes a joke i laugh out loud like yes you are so funny
my next focus was him forgetting to turn his location off - i hear the black dog by taylor swift playing in the background. i need this girl and this boy to realise that neither of them hate eachother because this cat and mouse game is getting on my nerves (in the best way no offence to you author)
wondering why i wasn’t invited on the richie carmen road trip - mainly because i want to hear their conversations and secondly because it would be the perfect opportunity for a tag team
as soon as i read the bit about the chance that they would interact being low i thought ,,,, ooo this will be disproved by our favourite author extraordinaire and i was right!
random request but can we have a christmas / holiday themed chapter i just want to see all the presents chip gives out i love her
also enjoying the use of kitchen as a verb when talking about richie being bad at kitchen - it’s giving ken’s job being beach in the barbie movie
thankful that you gave us some sydney/chip moments and some richie/sydney/chip moments plus some marcus later as i don’t know if i could have handled this chapter without seeing my babies having a sliver of joy for at least a couple of lines
i could be completely off base with this but was the reference to cherries when chip talks about carmen doing her prep an intentional callback to her favourite ice cream flavour? i could be majorly reading into it but if im right you are a genius and if im not you are still a genius without even knowing it
the knife tattoo being the hand she focuses on is a metaphor a mother figure english teacher should explain to me, but i am too tired to fully comprehend the meaning of this right now
sorry but who puts their wedding cake in an uber, creds to marcus for saving the day my small boy
i can’t even explain the neil fak moment but it is so fucking classic for him to misread a situation SO SEVERELY, i wish this was an actual scene because i need to physically see the facial expressions
and then we get to uncle lee. i had to put my phone down when carmen said his name, genuinely i let out a singular clap. we have never seen chip like this and i don’t know if we ever will again. this interaction consolidated the chip being a sponsor theory for me as it is so clear that she cannot stand the way people talk about drugs and addiction - especially regarding mikey
a callback to the italians loving their unions, you love to see it
i wrote very minimal notes on the carmy chip interaction at the end of the scene as there is really nothing for me to comment on except for how beautifully you wrote it. it is so peaceful but so angry i don’t know how you manage to do this every time. such a great reveal (despite the theories) as it did feel like a suprise to me still!!!
amazing work once again, i am sorry if this is completely incoherent i dont know how else to say this hahha
I DID GET THIS ASK!! I just took ten years to get to it, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE LOVE!! It's all coherent dw let's fuckin LOCK IN!!!
list format let's fucking go
I remember when I first read this (the pun thing) it really had me kicking my feet because it just sounds like-- Like when a girl will laugh at fucking anything someone she has a crush on says. everyone be honest do you have a crush on tony? I'm moving the keep reading down so everyone legally has to answer.
AND THE LIST RESETS BUT IF I SIMPLY JUST PRESS ENTER ITS LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED
I'm not a huge taylor girl but I will put it on in the background as I write the rest of this answer lets fuckin goo. These two really needed the under the counter talk we were TIRED
LMAO So many people wanted to come to that road trip-- You all dodged a bullet. Also so did I. because i didn't want to have to figure out how it would've gone. that sounds like so much work and i just wanted to have cute wedding time. sometimes we do time skips because we just want to have cute wedding time and no one admits this
of course it'd be disproved!! and
SHHHHHH you babies always be making requests, I DONT PUT GUNS IN THE FIRST ACT FOR NOTHING YOU KNOW ME!! but SHHHH!!!
he SUCKS at kitchen! Sometimes I use terms as verbs because it seems like how kitchens do things and i want everyone to think i know what it's like to work in service and i'm NOT just googling it and asking my bartending/server/linecook friends how it is. that's definitely NOT what's happening
ive said it a million times, who really cares about this carmen guy in this carmen fic. it's all about literally everyone else.
100% it's a call back! I reference cherries honestly more than i could ever expect. it's the flavour of the series now.
The knife tattoo thing though that was just me and my thing with hands. i have a thing with hands. so canonically tony also has a thing with hands. she just thought he was hot. but also about referencing it twice i did think-- or i guess wrote it-- i just think it's interesting how Carmen put his hand on her mouth and then ran that same hand through his scalp. just think thats interesting. just. thats something huh? or this could mean nothing
YOU'D BE SURPRISED I'VE HEARD HORROR STORIES OF PEOPLE HAVING THEIR CAKES DELIVERED BY UBER THINKING IT'LL BE SAFER THAN GETTING IT THEMSELVES AND THEY EAT SHIT ON THE WAY OVER
I wish so deeply I was a writer or director on the bear and could film this man. MATTY!! MATTY ARE YOU OUT THERE!!? HIRE ME BABY PLEASE?!?!?! I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR IT AND EVERYTHING COME ON!
Putting the phone down I think I've heard is one of the highest honours one can achieve? I've been told. AND A CLAP!? Let's fucking go. I won. I won boys! I can't think of a moment in which we will ever see Chip get this particularly hyphy-- Not to say she won't get mad in the future, but this was a very specific type of mad. genuinely if this wedding wasn't a lovely wedding it would've been so over.
The Union Italians scene was so much longer in the original version in my brain-- But I condensed it upon writing because it didn't really add much. But it was essentially gonna be Tony tired and then while ordering they look at her and go "wait,,, have you taken a break?" :( "no" "WHAT??? KNOW YOUR FUCKING RIGHTS!!!!"
This makes me so happy that I nailed that feeling, I was worried honestly that it was too peaceful? But that peaceful sort of like tempered anger is exactly what I was trying to go for. Like we're trying to problem solve and it's all kind of funny but I am still so mad.
AND ONCE AGAIN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS I EAT EM FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER LOVE YOU!! I hope you love the next chapter it's a fucking DOOZY that I honestly think is going to throw everyone for a fucking loop. I'm so excited to see immediate reactions as they come through.
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Hey, I'm sorry, just saw your questions! Time will help you. Realizing that every single person in this world has experienced heartbreak or a situation not going how they envisioned, and then finding happiness afterwards also makes you feel not alone in the pain.
If the person you love and care about isn't reacting the way they once were, you "being there" or "caring" or "loving them no matter what" is such a nice gesture and means you're an amazing, empathetic and caring person, but that doesn't give you brownie points to them or make you a priority either. In fact, it can enable them to continue hurting you by realizing they can treat you as someone who isn't a priority at all because they know they can come to you whenever, and you will embrace them with open arms.
I was in love with someone for years, we talked every day, I visited them (LDR), they led me on and broke my heart in two different countries and lied to me on several occasions, asking for forgiveness afterwards. Eventually, it happened enough times where I spent enough money and heartbreak to care anymore. We both moved on. They're in a long-term relationship now 10+ years later, we caught up about 4 years ago, and they still remember so many little details about me I thought they'd forgotten. Bittersweet, but we laughed about it and realized how wild our past was and used it to shape how we experience love today.
Months after that, I found someone who actually backed up the love and care for me and treated me amazingly. I still had some baggage and hurt from that relationship, but I tried my best to not be affected by it. Lasted almost two years, was an amazing relationship, but we also had grown apart in ways, and I knew I wasn't being the best partner to them in terms of words of affirmation. We agreed to split up. That also took a while to get over, but it got to the point where I had visited them 4-5 years later for fun, both single, and neither of us wanted to do anything because we were so different and became such good friends after (which we were also before), and didn't want to ruin that bond which I valued more than a relationship.
Currently with someone now that is amazing and we both make each other very happy after a long while of enjoying being single. Once you realize the value of yourself, your capacity to give and take love, and being on the same wavelength with the person you want to be with, you'll realize how easy it should be when it's the right person and right situation. Maybe this person is the right one but it's at the wrong time. Let it go and if it comes back to you, it's meant to be. If it doesn't, I guarantee you that you will find that person way sooner than you think. Even being single is great at times because you can truly focus on your goals and hobbies and friends. Maybe finding a hobby you really enjoy to sink into will also take your mind off of it!
Sorry for writing so much, haha.
Hi, I’m sorry for the late response. I was trying to compose my thoughts without letting all my feelings cloud my mind again. First, I appreciate you for sharing all of those. All I can say is that you’re so strong. Based on your story, it looks like it would always be tough in different ways.
Right now, I am hoping that I will be strong enough too. I know that I can survive all this but there are times where my anxiety gets the best of me. But that’s what I’m trying to work on, and I think it’s all because of my attachment and expectations to everyone, especially to the people I love.
Anyway, I’m still finding my courage to let things go. I mean I don’t have a problem with letting things be but I don’t think I’ll force myself to move on with the love I have from her. As of now, I think I still can handle living my life with the fact that I still love her and I don’t get the chance to be the lover she deserves. I made peace that whatever I do for her doesn’t mean I get the brownie points, I’m gonna do it because I want to and I’m not expecting anything from her or for anyone.
I’m trying my best to be consistent of it, I mean, I try to live by not expecting from anyone.
(i added a tag just so I can look for this easily hehe)
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