#I always thought their quirks foiled each other

[clonerightsagenda]

To celebrate space archives getting published I might as well post an abandoned short story from 3 years ago that deals with a lot of the same themes in a more concentrated way. This is my toxic yuri for 2025. Enjoy and see if you can remember the post I made about it back in 2022.

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I never liked confession cams.

You know, someone sits in a soundproof room with just the cameras and talks all teary-eyed about how they’ve struggled, and how they really feel, now that no one can hear. But of course someone can hear. You can. You’re there, in the room with them, a few months in the future and a hundred miles away. It’s all a performance. Everything is.  

I’m not doing that, ok? This is for me.

They came to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They came with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They came with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I came with nothing. I was already there.

It started the same as always. They jumped when I greeted them and then stole glances at each other’s reactions. No one said anything back. I didn’t expect them to. I’d been getting everything ready. Twenty bedrooms, names on the doors. Lights on, temperature tweaked up there, down here, never quite comfortable. I’m very good at that part of my job.

That first arrival scene goes through a lot of editing. Cut out the boring bits, highlight the quirks that make contestants stand out. The details we highlight set the audience’s perception of each player. Create heroes, villains, characters. No one on these shows presents themselves as they really are. You get the construct.

Me? I get a little bit more.

Let’s skip the boring parts. They milled around for a while before finding their rooms. Most unpacked their clothes. One placed a photograph on her dressing table, angling it so it would be in easy view of the camera. A bid for sympathy, I figured, but my opinion wasn’t the one that mattered.

The files would have told me that her name was Gloria Martina Sosa, contestant ID seventeen, age twenty-nine, pronouns she/her. Employed in finance and competing because her mother needed to pay for a medical procedure. The files would tell me that, but I already knew.

This time, there was a container of chocolates on the table when Gloria inched down the hallway to the dining area. She was good at finding her way around the floorplan already, even though it was designed to send them circling in the wrong direction and bumping into each other. I wondered if they noticed.

She approached the chocolates cautiously. She knew it had to be a test. I knew she liked chocolate.

“Can –” She paused before old-fashioned manners asserted themselves. “May I have one?”

“Yes,” I said.

She slid her hand in. Then she hesitated again, fingers still reaching. “Would you like one?”

I checked to see if someone else had entered the room. Nothing on the visuals from any of the dining room cameras. She was the only one there.

She was talking to me.

“No,” I said, after an obvious pause. Then, because of the manners, “No thank you.”

Her fingers curled around a chocolate. “That was stupid of me.”

I didn’t need to answer that, so instead I thought about her motives. I couldn’t show favoritism; she should know that. Did she want to look empathetic for the audience? She wouldn’t win any points cozying up to me.

Maybe she meant it as a genuine kindness. It was early enough that she might not know better.

“Do you ever wish you could eat?” she asked. The chocolate was in her mouth, but her fingers folded and refolded the square of foil.

Why was she still talking to me? I couldn’t tell her it was against the rules – it wasn’t, officially. So I said, “This won’t make good television.”

Her eyes widened. She was thinking of all the time she’d wasted here, the time her competitors might have been using to build alliances or look for clues. She yanked the container of chocolates off the table and ran back toward the hallway. She’d use them as an offering, maybe, or a bargaining chip. She didn’t say thank you, or goodbye.

Why would she? I’m not a player. I’m the host.

#

I know how this sounds, so let me set the record straight. I’m not an artificial intelligence. People love to claim they’ve invented a thinking machine, but when you drill down to the bones of one you’ll always find an algorithm. Sure, this place runs on all sorts of automation, but at the end of the day, you need a human to come up with a wicked twist or make sure the tracking software doesn’t mix up Mateo and Benjamin because there was a mishap in the laundry room and they’re wearing each other’s clothes. AI doesn’t have the flexibility a project like this demands. I don’t think it ever will. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking, since if it happens, I’ll be out of a job. It’s not a great job (I’m making minimum wage here) but I don’t have to pay rent or buy groceries, so the money adds up.

There used to be a whole team – six-hour shifts, front-end and back-end crews – but budget cuts hit everywhere. It gets quiet sometimes, but at least I don’t have to make a big production of hiding when I’m going to the bathroom with a tampon. I do the best I can, drink a lot of coffee, and chalk any delays or mistakes up to a buggy operating system. There are surgeries you can get to keep you sharper – some employers insist on them – but I wouldn’t let anyone stick neurotech in my brain even if I could afford it. Too many horror stories. It’s easy to keep them thinking I’m a machine. I slap a voice filter on, and my disinterest in everyone’s drama means I don’t have to fake sounding inhumanly bored.

But enough about the woman behind the curtain. That’s not what anyone tunes in for.

#

About half the guests roamed the halls after dark the first night, which meant prowlers skulking around corners and smacking into each other. I downed two energy drinks and kept an eye out for the most entertaining close calls so I could cut them together later. On other nights I’d feel safe sneaking some sleep, but the first was always busy.

Gloria stayed in her room. Instead of climbing into bed right away, she knelt and whispered something in Spanish. The translation software would handle that for anyone who wanted to know what she was praying for. I could guess.

When she finished, she looked up. They’re never sure where to focus when they talk to me. I’ve learned to read that lost expression as a sign I’m about to be on call. “If I need something, do I just ask?”

“That’s correct.” When she didn’t say anything else, I continued, “Did you need something?”

“Not right now.” Not from me.

#

The next few weeks passed the usual way. Dean found an immunity stone hidden behind the false back of the pantry. Three different groups swore ill-fated alliances while pretending to be preoccupied with their laundry. The first contestants were voted off, mostly because of dismal challenge performances and in one case because Heather kept stealing other people’s toothpaste. (Luckily for me, I didn’t have to listen to them moping about being eliminated. The losers’ quarters had cameras, of course – everywhere does – but none of those feeds went to my workstation.)

Most of the time the participants treated me as so much background, but there are always exceptions. One afternoon Haruto and Farah were arguing about an inane piece of early twenty-first century pop culture trivia and wanted me to tell them who was right, and Anna was asking about the latest sports scores, and one of the microphones in the dining room wouldn’t connect right even though I’d run troubleshooting, and –

“Is Corey busy?”

I pressed the intercom button for Gloria’s room and said, “One moment, please.” Then I switched channels (click). “The home team won their last game 4 to 1.” Click. “Yes, it was the same actor; they used CGI to make him look younger.” Click. “Sorry for the delay.” I punched in Corey’s ID to pull up the last place the cameras had seen him. “A lot of guests are requesting my services right now.”

I don’t know what did it. Maybe a hint of exasperation crept into my tone, or the keystrokes filtered through the speakers, or a real sentient computer program wouldn’t apologize. Whatever tipped her off, Gloria’s eyebrows pulled down. It wasn’t an expression of surprise as much as it said, ‘I knew it’.  

“You’re not an AI,” she said. “Are you.”

Damn. I could have lied. The producers would’ve wanted me to, but they left me there to play the game however I chose. Besides, I’d already paused too long. A machine wouldn’t have to think about it.

“A lot of the answers are. There’s a library of canned responses for the most predictable questions. I’m here for the more complicated problems.”

“Here?” She spun her eyes around the room like I might pop out of a closet.

“On site. Behind the scenes.”

“But you can see and hear me?” She hunched in on herself. “I don’t like that.”

“You signed up to be on a TV show.”

“That’s different.”

Because I wasn’t an adoring fan. “Did you want an answer to your question?”

“You can see him too?” She was hung up on that considering the position she put herself in. The contracts they signed asked them to give away all sorts of control.

“I can see everyone. I’m not watching all the time, though. That’s part of the automation. I get notified when there’s activity that might be interesting.” I checked the relevant screen, which showed me the feed from camera 251. “He’s brushing his teeth.”

“Is that interesting?”

“Not according to the system.” Showering would be, because the system’s a pervert. So are the folks back home, although the editors make sure to frame things just right so that we can deny we’re showing anything explicit.

She sighed. She kept her head angled toward the floor, like denying the cameras eye contact preserved some sliver of her privacy. “I guess I can’t opt out.”

“Not until you go home. You could try to be less interesting, but it’ll cost you.” That strayed dangerously close to advice. “I’ll delete this conversation, though. Have to preserve my image.”

That got her head to pop up. “You can do that?”

I wiggled my fingers over the keyboard, a pointless gesture since she couldn’t see me. “As long as you’re in this building, I’m basically God.”

“God.” Her lip curled. I’d seen her praying earlier. Maybe my boast sounded like blasphemy. “What’s your name?”

“I can’t tell you. I’ve got rules. Sorry,” I added, repeating that human touch that betrayed me.

“I don’t know why I asked.” She looked away from the camera again. “Don’t watch me sleep.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She was pretty. But watching a pretty woman over the cameras isn’t automatically creepy. If it is, what does that say about you?

I tried to keep my word. Gloria wanted to believe she still had boundaries, and unlike our loyal viewers, I don’t get my kicks spying on people. Every so often, though, my eyes crept back to her square on my monitor. I knew so much about these people, and she was the only one who knew I existed. That knowledge was like a blinking notification that never went away.

#

I didn’t expect Gloria to talk to me again, and for a few days she didn’t. She sat in silence while I announced the day’s events or when other participants asked me questions, a frown mostly smoothed off her face. I saw it, though. That’s what she was frowning about.

Four days after our conversation, she was tearing her room apart looking for something. It’d been twenty minutes, and she wasn’t going to find it. I was waiting for her to figure that out. She groaned, tilted her head up, and asked, “Do you know where my charger is?”

“Under the sofa in the living room.”

She jumped. “That was fast.”

“Pretty good AI impression, right?” I hadn’t been watching her sleep, but I’d been paying attention. So sue me. If she decided to spill my secret, I’d have to… well, I didn’t know. It had never happened before.

“Is anyone else there right now?”

“Haruto and Farah.” Still arguing, somehow. Getting worked up about each other’s vintage cinema opinions was their version of entertainment.

She sighed and sat on the side of her bed. “I don’t want to get sucked into whether we need any more live action remakes. Can you tell me when they leave?”

“Sure.” Informal. I was slipping.

She drummed her ankles against the floor and then, with a huff, hopped up again and began straightening the mess she made. She wasn’t a woman who liked to be still. I wasn’t surprised when she broke the silence. “Does anyone else know?”

“If they’ve guessed, they haven’t said anything. This isn’t a test, or one of the puzzles you’re supposed to solve. You weren’t supposed to notice.”

She slammed a drawer. “Do you like spying on people?”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” She snorted. “It’s a job. A boring one, most of the time. Alerts tell me when any of you do something relevant, and then I cut the best footage together and send it back to the real editors. I’m not watching you every second. Who would want to?”

That got her to stop folding a shirt and look up at camera 387 so I’d be sure to see the disgusted expression on her face. “The fans?”

Fair point. “I forget about them sometimes.”

“I doubt your bosses would be happy to hear that.” She moved on to stuffing toiletries back into her bag, but her movements were less ferocious. “How did you end up working here?”

“I worked as set crew on a few smaller projects. I didn’t get training for it, but I’m good at picking up just enough to make myself useful.” That’s what kept me around through round after round of layoffs. I learned the bare bones of other people’s jobs, and upper management decided bare bones was enough. That kind of approach doesn’t make friends in the workplace, but neither does getting fired. And hey, it worked out that I’m not a team player. The only one on my team now is me.

“Do you like reality TV?”

“Hell no.” I couldn’t believe anyone would put up with the genre without getting paid for it. “But a job’s a job. Did you always dream about starring in something like this?”

She paused, clutching a bottle of perfume. “Not like this.” She took a bracing whiff – the label said orange vanilla, but smell is one thing I can’t piggyback on. “You’ll delete this?”

The start of our conversation was already flagged. “Speak freely.”

“I liked the romantic ones when I was younger. The fairy tale element; I read a lot of fairy tales growing up. Later I realized how artificial they were, but you keep hoping.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I told you that.”

Neither could I. Then again, they were encouraged to bare their souls for the cameras. It must be a hard habit to break. “Given the data I’ve collected, I think Anna is your one true love.”

Instead of laughing, she shoved the perfume into her bag. “I’m not here for that.”

“I know.”

She zipped up the bag, stood, and looked right at the camera, hands on hips. It was the closest I’d come to eye contact with someone in months. “How much do you know about me?”

“Mostly what’s in your files.” I reread them after she caught me. I had her entire application packet, every official scrap of information the network collected.

“And I don’t know anything about you.”

“You know I don’t like reality TV.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

She shot the question at me, and I responded reflexively. “Blue. At least it is now. I don’t see the sky much on this job.”

“Blue.” She digested that and looked past the cameras, up to the ceiling and the sky beyond that she’d only see through windows until the game was over. “I miss it too.”

“Now you know one thing about me. Happy?”

“Can I ask more, later?” She sucked her lower lip between her teeth; I think the question surprised her as much as it did me. “I don’t like being watched by a stranger. I can’t stop you watching, but I can stop you from being such a stranger.” A crafty spark entered her eyes. “You are here to answer our questions. That’s what they told us in orientation.”

They did tell them that. “I’ll do what I can,” I said. “But be careful. I don’t want everyone in the house asking me for my biography.”

#

Gloria was the one on camera, but she was the one who forgot herself. She was standing in the kitchen running a plate under the water when she looked toward a camera and asked, “What do you eat?”

“Uh,” said Benjamin, waiting for his turn at the sink. “Are you talking to me?”

“Based on existing data, Benjamin enjoys soy-based products and fresh fruit,” I said in my best automaton voice.

At least she caught on quick. “Thank you,” she said, and went back to rinsing pasta sauce off her dishes.

After she retreated to her room, she said, “I’m guessing I’m not supposed to socialize with you.”

“There aren’t any rules against it,” I said, which wasn’t a no, and then followed it up with, “It’s not the most strategic use of your time,” which wasn’t a yes.

“I need a break from everything out there sometimes. At least I know what you’re lying about.”

Safer not to comment on that one. Besides, she was still going.

“Mateo is always trying to make sure the cameras get his good side; you know he’s here to make a name for himself. And Anna keeps talking about how she wants to buy her own automated mansion, like she can’t imagine going back to having to manually turn on the lights. They’re so trivial. It makes me want to toss them out a window and tell them to come back when they have something serious to compete for.”

I didn’t comment on that either, but I could’ve. The truth was, at least half the participants needed the money for reasons beyond popularity contests or tech upgrades. It didn’t matter. If I told her, she wouldn’t think they deserved it as much as she did. Even without the files, I could have read her life story in her unblemished skin and name brand outfits. She’d never sweated through record-breaking summers because during surge periods companies always cut off the poorest neighborhoods first. She wrinkled her nose at the cricket flour crackers in the pantry like someone who had the luxury to leave food on her plate. She had no idea how many people watched her and wished they could take her place – not for a chance at a cash prize or fifteen minutes of fame, but just to have a safe place to sleep and enough to eat. When people watch shows like this, it’s not about rooting for an individual, not really. It’s about constructing elaborate narratives about themselves. Wanting participants, wanting to be them: there’s not much of a difference in the end. They’re all different flavors of consumption. Some players catch on faster and embrace being the product.

But Gloria was used to being on the other side of the equation. She’d been comfortable her whole life, and this medical bill was the first time she hadn’t had enough to make the world work the way she wanted. So she came running here for a fairy tale ending, because of course she was entitled to that along with everything else.

You’d think people like me who’ve been struggling their whole lives would fight hardest, but people like that? They get vicious.

Instead I said, “So you’re saying it’s nice to talk to me.”

“It’s a change.”

I minimized camera 16’s window where Richard and Destiny are gearing up to either start a fight or swap spit. Hard to tell with those two. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What do you think of us? You watch us all day.”

“Not all day, I told you. Honestly it’s – did you ever work customer service?” Her eyebrows jumped. I could’ve guessed that too. “Well, in that kind of job, you don’t pay much attention to individuals. You’re all one big crowd. Of course, you’re also my only live entertainment. Could you do anything more interesting?”

“Any suggestions?”

“Steal Corey’s watch.”  

She laughed. Corey told everyone who would listen how expensive his custom-made timepiece was. His audience hung on to every word, although they were mostly hanging on to his cheekbones. “That won’t get me any votes.”

“I’d vote for you.”

“You mean you’re not charmed by him?”

“Not my type.”

“Not mine either.”

I know, I thought, but I didn’t say it. She didn’t like to be reminded.

#

Gloria didn’t steal Corey’s watch. The next time he made a production of giving someone the time she looked right at the nearest camera, and I almost choked on my protein bar laughing.

After she left that conversation, she slipped into her room and leaned against the door. “You always delete the video when I’m talking to you, right?”

“It wouldn’t do me any good to send it on.”

Her shoulders loosened. It was surprising, and a little gratifying, that my presence now made her relax. “In the real world, you’re pressured to be doing something useful with every second of your life. In here, every second you’re performing for the cameras. It’s nice to be able to stop.”

I covered a yawn with one hand and reached for my coffee. “At least you get regular rest periods. I can’t give you details, but some people were keeping me up last night.”

She frowned. “Would you rather I let you go?”

The frown was also gratifying. “No, there’s enough I need to monitor right now anyway. Just keep your activities within regular business hours. That’ll make you a model participant in my book.”

“I’ll try.” She settled onto her bed and stretched her arms over her head, bending back the wrists. Then she asked, abruptly, “Do you have a favorite guest?”

“I’m not supposed to pick favorites. I won’t name names, but my least favorite is someone who starts whistling when they’re trying to concentrate. I always get the tune stuck in my head.”

“I’d hate that too.” She dropped her arms down and rested her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t seem fair. You get to see all of us, and I don’t get to see you.”

“It’s for the best that you can’t.” I shifted in my chair where I was sitting cross-legged in sweatpants I’d been wearing for three days straight. “I don’t have to be presentable to anyone back here. My hair’s a mess.”

She shrugged. “It would be nice to see any new face. Can you tell me what you look like?”

“Better not.” There weren’t any rules against that either – no one would’ve thought we needed them. But I wasn’t there to be looked at. “Just… imagine me. Whatever you’d like.”

She thought for a moment and then said, “You look nice.”

“Thank you.”

#

For the next month, I watched from my hundreds of cameras and listened through my hundreds of microphones. I scoured test banks for trivia questions and rearranged the responsive floor plan to build obstacle courses. I beamed everything back to our viewers, and the network compiled data to send back. Their demands were predictable. So-and-so is popular; be sure to get close-ups. Contestants X and Y don’t get along. Trap them in a room together with a malfunctioning door. Sometimes the instructions were specific, but often they just told me what the audience wanted. By now, I knew how to get it.

While I did that, I watched Gloria. She was average, as these things go. She lasted longer than half the participants in a challenge where I cranked the temperature lower and lower. Then she flopped when asked to identify the fake headline in a social media feed. She nodded to cameras with a half-smile, and although she could be doing it for the viewers, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was doing it for me.

She stayed kinder than I expected, even as everyone dropped the niceties and the game turned into a bloodbath of votes and eliminations. I’m not usually wrong reading people. I have so much to go on.

She kept talking to me late at night. Participants are promised some privacy in their bunks. (If they read their contracts line by line they know better. Viewers get very interested whenever a player invites someone else in. That was happening in two locations, so it was easy to cover up my own indiscretions.)

“Do you know what’s happening back home?

“Only what the network sends me.” I didn’t miss it. Participants signed up for fame or money, but escape would work as well. At least locked in this house, the problems weren’t real. You knew the challenges were fake, and everyone went to bed with a full stomach at the end of the day. It’s not a bad gig, really.

“I don’t know how my mother’s doing.” She was staring at the ceiling instead of making virtual eye contact with me. “Sometimes I’m afraid I won’t get back in time. It feels like it’s been longer than a few weeks.”

She didn’t seem to be waiting for a response. They were encouraged to think out loud for the cameras.

#

Nine weeks into this round of the game, she was in trouble. We didn’t talk about it. I was supposed to be her refuge from all that. Ridiculous, if you think about it, but we all have our illusions. She didn’t have access to viewer opinion polls or other players’ confessions, but I could tell from the way she held herself that she knew. If she didn’t win this week’s challenge, she was gone.

That shouldn’t have bothered me. I don’t pick favorites. Players come and go and nothing changes. Except…

I used to talk to my coworkers’ empty chairs to hear my own voice. I erased crosswords and started them again. The job without Gloria would be… boring. I didn’t want to look across all my monitors and not see her there.

I’ve never related to the viewers who root for their favorite contestant. This was different. They’re behind a screen watching the edited version of a woman from miles away, a woman who doesn’t even know they exist. I knew her. She knew me.

She didn’t ask for my help. I’d like to imagine she respected my integrity or didn’t want to risk my job, but I saw the way she threw herself into trying to shore up shaky alliances, too little too late. She’d rather rely on herself. I might be the all-seeing eye and the voice in her ear when she went to sleep, but when it comes to playing the game, no one pays attention to the help.

My inbox dinged. The network was responding to my latest batch of video. I skimmed through it: suggestions for contrived scenarios to start people fighting, instructions to let the showers break down, standard stuff. Then, at the end: We need new topics for this week’s trivia challenge. Any ideas?

The challenges got repetitive after a while. Production was always looking for suggestions. I opened a reply, started typing, and then paused.

I could help. No one would know. Gloria would be here, with me, for another week.

It wouldn’t be my first case of workplace dishonesty. I’d fibbed on timesheets and extended my breaks like everyone has. I’d kept my mouth shut and let coworkers take the fall for my mistakes. This was interference with the outcome of the show, though. I could get fired.

Who was going to catch me? Me?

I typed, What about fairy tales?

#

Gloria was exultant. She won the trivia challenge, securing her place for the week and spurring a nasty double cross in an alliance that had been planning on forcing her out. She paced back and forth in her room, rehashing her triumph. I responded with customer service hmms. It didn’t occur to her that I might be behind the convenient choice of topics. Which was fine. If she realized, she might let it slip, or expect more favors, and I’d risked enough already. It was fine that I was everywhere controlling everything and she still acted like she had no idea. People like her are the same everywhere. They assume the world runs itself.

“If I win next week’s challenge and Richard and Destiny stay on bad terms, I have a chance,” she said. “I could win.”

I didn’t say much in response. Maybe she thought I was being careful not to spill any show secrets, or maybe to her I was just another audience member witnessing her triumph. I’d had so much time to watch and still had trouble reading her.

I’m not omniscient, is the point. I never had the power to read her mind or control her or even save her in the end. I was only ever buying time.

I’d built a habit of letting emails pile up and answering them when I felt like it, but now I never closed my inbox. I took my phone with me on bathroom breaks or rare trips outside. Of course, if the network found out what I’d done, they might not bother with professional communication. They might send a crew in with no notice to throw me out on my ass.

That dampened my enthusiasm as Gloria dreamed of making the final three. Household malfunctions rose. I got jumpy. Anna asked me a question, and I froze, because for a moment I thought I’d been caught. A spam email snuck through my filter, and I spilled my energy drink all over the keyboard when I heard the notification. I wanted to scream through the intercoms, Don’t you know what I can do? What I’ve already done? You don’t even know that I’m here.

Instead I turned the heat up two degrees and reassured Anna that she’d buttoned up her dress correctly.  

#

In the end, I didn’t get caught. The shutdown order came for different reasons. Mateo, a fan favorite, had settled into a committed relationship. The move wasn’t popular with viewers. They liked him as a heartbreaker with someone else in his bunk every night. I don’t get the appeal, but ratings are ratings.

End the game, wipe their memories, and start over, the message said, with a list of new parameters to try. Just like the last four times I got this email. Neurotech sure has expanded the boundaries of reality programming.

Like I said, I’ve got horror stories.

I flicked through the changes. The bulk were new living arrangements and challenges tailored to different participants’ skills. The true appeal was more pathos for viewers to sigh over, as former lovers betrayed each other and friends met again as strangers. They eat it up so much I wonder if the game will ever end.

Maybe I should be happy about that. It’s job security.

I could see Gloria out of camera 43. She was selecting a meal packet and humming to herself. I wanted to warn her, to say that every time before this she’d become someone shut off or brittle or cruel, and that I liked her better this way. I wanted to tell her it’d been thirteen months since she saw her mother, not two. I wanted to ask if she had any idea. But I signed a contract too.

Instead I waited until after lights out and said, “Let me show you something.”

Gloria trusted me enough by now that she waited until I’d directed her to a blank stretch of wall to ask, “Why did you bring me here?”

“If you compare the interior to the outside of the house, this can’t be an exterior wall. There’s too much space. You didn’t notice?”

“I didn’t.”

She did in three of the other versions. Gloria had rarely been a model participant. She’d explored more, discovered more, when she wasn’t talking to me. “When people do, I tell them it’s not part of the game. It’s where we keep some of the machinery used to run the facilities.”

“What’s really on the other side?”

“Me.”

She started at that, looking from the camera to the wall and back again, like she assumed I lived in the fiber optics. “You’re there?”

“In my own set of apartments. It’s roomy now that I’m the only one. There’s a side door, so I even get a little sun sometimes. There’s a lot of machinery back here with me, though. We try not to lie when we can tell part of the truth. Makes it easier to keep track of everything.”

She reached out and presses her hand to the chipped paint of the wall. “You were always right here.”

“Hang on, I’m at a different terminal.” I hopped out of my chair and squeezed myself between my desk and the one that used to belong to Paulo before the last round of cutbacks. “Now I’m right there.” I was simplifying things, of course. There was at least a foot of wires and paneling between us, but it was still the closest we’d ever been. I reached out to press my hand to the wall and imagined the touch of another human’s skin against my own.

This was my last chance to tell the truth. I could reveal everything, lead her to the emergency exit only I knew about, and invite her to run away with me to… what? We were both there because we needed something, and the world won’t give you anything for free. In this house, blasphemy or not, I was basically God. I could steer her away from danger. I could construct a narrative. Outside, I couldn’t create a happy ending for either of us.

From what I knew of Gloria Martina Sosa, the many possible Gloria Martina Sosas who had walked under this roof, she would hate me for keeping this from her.

It was a good thing she didn’t know me at all.

“Why did you decide to tell me now?” she asked.

There were a lot of things I could have said. Because this version of you dies tomorrow. Because there are bigger rules I won’t break, and I want to believe I’m a person who would break some of them, for you. Because I’m saying goodbye, and you don’t even know it.

“Because we’re getting close to the end now,” I said. “You’ll be too busy soon to think about me.”

“It’s hard to not think about you when you’re watching all the time. Especially now that I know exactly where you are.” She ran her fingers across the paint before pulling away. “Maybe when this is over I’ll be able to see you face to face.”

I couldn’t hesitate. If I hesitated, she might guess something is wrong, and my entire job relied on returning polished answers with mechanical precision. “That would be nice.” I was using my work voice, all business. “You should get back to bed before anyone wonders why you’re up.”

She smiled – at the wall rather than the camera. She might have been looking toward me, but that means she didn’t meet my eyes. “Are you worried about my beauty sleep?”

“Rest is important,” I said. “I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I’m rooting for you.”

Thanks to my instructions, she made it back without running into anyone, turning corners and ducking into rooms without a word of protest. Once I delivered her to her room, she dimmed the lights and slipped into bed to while away the last few hours this version of her would ever see.

I watched her fall asleep, and I didn’t say a word.

Maybe next time.

#

They were called in for a medical check-up the next morning. “Is this a challenge?” Gloria asked while getting dressed.

“No,” I said. “It’s perfectly normal.” The producers would be pleased. I’d never sounded less human.

#

Teardown procedure between rounds was always the same. I filled out the standard paperwork and finished packaging the last days of footage to be shipped back to the editors. My email inbox could be thinned out. I’d gotten practiced, and none of the tasks took long. Then it was just me, the empty house, and Gloria’s ghost roaming the silent halls.

If you look at it right, I’m doing her a favor. Outside the house, the monsters are so much worse than me. People want to be you, or have you, and they’ll eat you alive. People who grew up like me would understand. They might even ask me to do the same for them.

I don’t know why I’m bothering to justify myself. My job is to watch and record, not to editorialize. There’s no reason for me to sit down in front of the camera and say, My name is Cal, and there’s nothing I could have done. But I guess I’ve caught the narrative bug after watching everyone else spin out their stories, because here I am making my recording. Wishing there was someone on the other side of the screen to turn me into someone new.

I have no illusions that I would be an audience favorite. That’s never been my role.

An email with the finalized set-up for round six arrived in my inbox, and I scanned it so I’d be prepared. There will be no chocolates next time. Every round, the producers try something different. But I will say hello, and maybe this time she will say it back.

#

They come to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They come with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They come with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I come with nothing. I was already here.

[skippygiraffee]

I'm once again thinking of SWSH.

Specifically, thinking about Leon and Raihan's rivalry and how that's framed. Rivalry in SWSH is interesting to me, because the rivals in Pokemon game are usually relegated to the relationship between the player character and some of the others that join them on the journey across the various regions. And SWSH both has a lot of rivals in Hop, Marnie, and Bede, but also showcases rivalry and what that looks like in both adulthood and in the professional setting in Leon and Raihan. Which to me is intensely interesting in many aspects, and I think they're foils of each other in a lot of ways.

Leon is set up to be polished, confident (edging on the side of arrogance in some cases), if not a bit goofy and aloof. I don't think this personally reflects all of him, not in the slightest, but taking a cursory glance at him, he's clean, he's put together, and he's definitely given the quirk of being the silly goofy guy of Galar who keeps getting lost everywhere. Whereas Raihan is a bit messier, a tad feral in his batting pose, and is shown off as being very intelligent. Raihan is the dragon, Leon is the prince/knight, like I think there's a lot to work with there, and I find a lot of that dichotomy interesting.

They also share some aspects, like the connection to royalty, where Leon has the crown on his hat, and Raihan is literally hanging around a castle. But the ways in which both are presented is so different that it feels like a different kind of royalty, or at least they're not supposed to be seen on equal footing.

I also find their ace Pokemon to be quite interesting. I'll die on the hill that Charizard, in this game, is meant to be a dragon. Raihan has his dragon, Duraludon, and I don't think giving him that one is a coincidence. Because they could have easily given him the other Gen 8 dragon, Dragapult, but they didn't, and I think there's a reason for it aside from Duraludon just fitting Raihan better. Honestly, I think it might be drawing a parallel between the White and Red dragons of the Arthurian tales (which these dragons were also imprisoned under a castle and well. Eternatus is right there), and having Leon and Raihan have two dragons, one white and one red is pretty interesting, at least to me, seeing as it might connect to something real world, and since SWSH does take a lot from the myths and stories of the UK and surrounding areas.

I'm also unsure if it ever states how long their rivalry has been going on, but definitely long enough for it to become part of both of their brands, intertwining them in ways that I don't think they can be pulled apart from. Where the other rivals in game are able to grow outside of the rivalry from one another, Leon and Raihan always seem to be both doing their own thing, and always meeting back at the same place to duke it out again.

Not sure where to end it, seeing as I have a lot more thoughts that get caught in the web, but I wanted to at least down and throw them out onto my blog :3

[kooki914]

How do you think would Noelle and Ralsei interact with each other if they got the chance? What would their relationship bring out of the other?

This is something I've given a lot of thought to, and something I'm still salty wasn't explored at all in Chapter 2. So this post is both going to answer your question as well as be my excuse to write an essay about these two.

The thing is, Noelle and Ralsei are narrative foils to each other. That probably sounds weird on account of the fact that they never interact, but both mechanically and through dialogue, we see parallels form between them. They're both enigmatic, mysterious, while keeping up friendly appearances, while also being literal or figurative royalty in their respective worlds (Noelle is from a rich family and is adored, Ralsei is a prince with no subjects). They're both love interests to the leads (yes, to Kris and Susie BOTH, the snowgrave route is essentially an exploration of a toxic friends-to-lovers but I'm not getting into that here), and they're both rife with religious symbolism, as well as the fact they're both prey animals (in a world where boss monsters like Toriel and Asgore can look more lion-esque, Ralsei's decidedly goat-ish appearance is kind of striking to me). They have the same heal spell (a pray to light) and they're both "passive" in that kind of way a mage usually is in RPGs.

Noelle's arc mainly centers around agency, while Ralsei's arc mainly centers around identity. For all the struggles she faces, Noelle doesn't really have that... crisis of character that Susie and Ralsei are prone to. Even in the snowgrave route, she doesn't question herself, she questions Kris. And, while Ralsei IS an obedient doormat, it's not out of a lack of agency (he shows us as much when he puts his foot down right before the kids open a fountain), it's an active choice he KNOWS he can simply... Not Do (as evidenced by how upset he is with Susie's behaviour in chapter 1 and his epiphany about it in chapter 2, he essentially equates mean behaviour to Purposefully making people around you suffer, instead of a personality quirk or showing of emotion).

It's interesting to think about how they'd complement one another. Not even strictly in a character arc sense (I'll get to that), but just in a... character interaction sense. Noelle has this pattern of putting the spotlight on other people. Even when she talks about herself it's always framed as a way to lift up those around her, while Ralsei has this sneaky way of getting to know you without you even realising (if the rooms he made for Kris and Susie are anything to go by). I think this would result in a dynamics where Noelle (passively, almost accidentally) allows Ralsei to open up in a more genuine way, while Ralsei still tends to Noelle's needs like he does for everyone else.

It's also interesting from a worldbuilding sense. We've seen Ralsei not give a flying fuck about Anyone that isn't directly connected to the prophecy, both for humour reasons and for horror reasons (as seen in the snowgrave route), so giving him a friend that's 1) a lightner, 2) not part of the prophecy, and 3) trying to actually know him on a personal level - it'd probably cause him to actually rethink his worldview. If someone like Noelle, someone who's got nothing to do with the prophecy, can be an important person to him and a good friend to people she doesn't *need* to care about, then why can't he? Can he be someone outside the prophecy? Is his identity and purpose not confined to this, and what does that mean for him in the long run?

And, on Noelle's side of things, Ralsei would probably be a healthier outlet for that feeling of nostalgia she's so addicted to. With him around, she's allowed to just be a kid again. No appearances to keep up, no expectations to fulfill, he's a fresh start and a new friend that she's allowed to be her authentic self around because his existence is essentially rooted in tending to the inner child of all the lightners he comes across. And maybe then she'll be able to let go of the past. Maybe, though viewing her childhood through an outsider's eager point of view, she can see how far away it is, and how she doesn't NEED it to be happy. Things can't be the same, and maybe that's a good thing. Maybe they can be better.

Overall, there's also a... vague "burden of femininity" they both have. They take on emotional labour even when they don't have to, just because that's what's expected of them. I so badly want a Dark Fun Gang-esque arc with these two where they defect from the team and just decide to be bad guys on their own terms for a while. Just because they can, just to see what it brings out of them. And, they'd be complete dorks about it of course, but it'd be nice to see them breaking their moulds with people they don't feel judged by, with friends they don't feel the need to impress because they're already so similar to.

There's this one bit of dialogue I wrote for them for one of my AUs, specifically in the above scenario where they decide to be bad guys for a bit, and I feel I need to share it here because it puts into words something I can't without taking away from the feels of it:

[moutheyes]

time for some random thoughts!

I'm finishing three series this week—Miseinen, See Your Love, and Caged Again—and plan on doing a separate post for them, so this is just a space to get some thoughts down. I am looking forward to the Ossan's Love Thailand premiere tonight but will have zero brain cells online for the entire duration of the show. 👍

The YothaGun storyline in Perfect 10 Liners is hitting the spot, and PerthSanta are a big reason why.

If you asked me about anything that happened in the ArmArc part of the series, I wouldn't be able to tell you even though I technically watched all of it. Thankfully, the YothaGun section has me in a chokehold so far. The grumpy/sunshine dynamic is so strong, and Perth (Yotha) and Santa (Gun) are able to elevate the trope to something genuinely engaging, thanks to both their individual charm and their chemistry. I love how quickly Yotha warmed up to Gun, and how little he seems to be fighting against his feelings even if he's still awkward about being Seen; I also love how Gun's initial fascination with Yotha's personality seeded his growing attraction and romantic interest. The progression of their relationship feels natural, feels good to my sensibilities as a viewer.

Also, the little flashes of physical flirting, which Perth has always been so good at, have me vibrating out of my seat. You can just tell that Yotha knows how to reel someone in and make them feel wanted (it's his tactic at the bar, after all), and that makes me anticipate how good this couple will be when they finally put their hands and mouths on each other.

Last thing about this show: One of my favorite things in BL is a silly little ritual—the more mundane the better—and every time Gun happily does up Yotha's tie in the morning, and Yotha gazes at him with that fond quirk to his mouth, it hits so good. It's such a simple act, so domestic, so fitting for them (Gun wants to be helpful and friendly, and Yotha wants to be close to Gun), and until the scene in yesterday's episode, it was kept private between them, so performing the ritual on campus, in front of Gun's friends, was a great way to show just how comfortable they are with each other now, even if others don't understand their relationship yet.

Emi and Bonnie are probably going to ruin my life in Us the Series.

Man, that sobbing apology in the trailer got me good. I was already fully seated for this series but it must be reiterated that Emi and Bonnie look so good together. If the storytelling doesn't go off the rails (I think I can trust p'Fon and her team?) then I am ready to be fully consumed. May Sapphic Saturdays long continue!

The Boy Next World premiere was solid.

Is this considered a slow-burn for MAME? Only half-kidding, but the first episode was... nice. I'm not sure who the director is, but the style feels a bit different. It suits the mysterious, dreamlike quality of the storyline so far; I adored the moody blue lighting in Cir's apartment when he first returned home. Noeul is still channeling ADHD gremlin energy with the scatterbrained behavior, but Phu feels more childlike than Rain from Love in the Air. (I think it's the superstition?) However, I am really enjoying seeing Boss play a softer, less edgy character in Cir. Obviously their chemistry is going to be fire, so I just hope the series can continue building off its premiere. Also, I wanna know more about Jin specifically lol.

Petrichor has been really uneven, and I'm sad about it.

Love Tul, love the way Engfa plays Tul, love Tul's little work trio, but this show isn't keeping me on tenterhooks the way I want it to, even though so much shit happens in every single episode. The big reveal in Episode 6 felt shoehorned in, and the police corruption theme is well-trod territory; yes, characters like Big Tech and Daensiam are imminently punchable, but they don't feel like true foils for Tul, and the Real Killer was kept very well hidden up to this point, so even though there's a sense of danger, there isn't enough of the tension that I want from a crime thriller. Also, Thiwa has been woefully underused as a character so far. I'll stick this one out but I hope we reach a breaking point in the plot soon.

[class1akids]

Do hawks and shoto todoroki have any parralels? After the whole todoroki thing went down and we got the cute scene where hawks complimented shoto I always thought that after the war they could have a cute big brother like relationship (considering there have already been multiple scenes of hawks kinda nagging shoto already) and it would be special bc they would understand each other easily which got me to wondering if they have actual similarities (ik hawks is meant to parallel dabi but I think he might be a closer parallel to shoto in some aspects)

Hawks is meant to foil Touya (more Twice, but also Touya) - they are the two sides of Endeavor's legacy. Dabi is a culmination of all of Endeavor's sins against his family. Hawks is his the legacy of the good he did as a hero.

But yeah, Shouto and Hawks do have several parallels - it's actually quite ironic how similar their backstories are.

Abusive father    ✔

Dysfunctional mother  ✔

Isolated childhood  ✔

Amazing and versatile quirk ✔

Raised to be a weapon ✔

Finding comfort / inspiration in a hero figure   ✔

Villain counterpart is their shadow ✔

It is very interesting how their stories play off of each other. Hawks is using the reveal that Enji was actually every bit as horrible as his own father to reflect on his own family. But instead of dealing with his own problems, he's projecting still onto Endeavor. He can't fix his guilt over killing Twice, he can't fix the parents he cut off, but maybe if he can fix his "broken doll", things will be fine.

And Hawks "helpfulness" means that Enji gets derailed from the family quest, leading to the fight becoming Shouto's burden, leading to Touya's escalation, and still leading to Hawks failing every single one of his goals: they are unable to stop AFO and Enji still ends up having to face Touya. While Hawks ends up alone on a battlefield quirkless standing guard over the bodies of the children he sent to war (as master of the plan), ready to offer himself as blood sacrifice.

Hawks and Shouto's path diverge because Shouto gets to go to UA, where he can grow among friends and peers. He breaks out of his isolation and is able to face his shadow and clash with him openly rather than trying to find a shortcut.

But yeah, to me Hawks' POV on the Todoroki children, but especially Shouto is really fascinating and something I always enjoy playing with.

[megaboy335]

10 Years of My Hero Academia

I have been an avid reader of Weekly Shonen Jump manga since I was a child, and later started following the magazine closely since around 2009. In that time I've witnessed countless titles start and finish. My Hero Academia is the rare kind of series that connects us from the previous generation of the magazine to its current era. It started in Issue 32, 2014 and finished in Issue 36-37, 2024. That makes it the 2nd oldest series in the line-up at the time of ending. Below is my review of the series. I give my thoughts on several of the story moments and give my final impressions. There will be spoilers and it's a long discussion.

Let's first flashback to the summer of 2014. I was in college preparing to spend my Junior year abroad in Japan. My Tumblr was very active and about to reach new highs with my presence in the Nisekoi fandom. In the Weekly Shonen Jump world, a generational shift was about to occur with the new debut of a new battle manga from a previously 2 time canceled author, Kohei Horikoshi.

Looking back on the issue when My Hero Academia started, we can clearly see how it was a completely different era of Jump. Naruto was still running at chapter 683. That is near the end of the 4th Great Ninja War arc. Naruto would later finish that fall in Issue 50, 2014. Additionally, Kuroko was just a couple of issues away from wrapping up and cementing itself as one of the best sport manga Jump had seen in a decade. One Piece was in the middle of Dressrosa, where little did we know that chapter 752 would only put us halfway through the arc. Gintama was just about to make a major pivot into full time battle manga mode. This issue also saw the conclusion of iShoujo at 20 chapters. (It would later get rebooted on Jump+ as a launch title and run for 14 volumes). It's very clear how My Hero Academia started in a complete era than where are now. So, how was My Hero Academia in the early days? Well, quite honestly I thought it was a very middle of the road title. I was already familiar with Horikoshi through Barrage (the very first simlpub in the digital Jump era that Viz started from chapter 1). He always had a good sense of perspective and the way he draws mouths with depth is a distinctive feature. The series also wore its Naruto inspirations quite openly, while taking advantage of the popularity in superhero movies to add some visibility in the eyes of readers. I thought it was riding the coattails of current trends. The early chapters were standard fare in modern day shonen. Speeding through character introductions and establishing the setting. Shigaraki made an early appearance with the mob baddies called Nomus but it was hard to get invested in the central conflict so soon. However Shigaraki’s eerie design of being covered in hands certainly stood out at the time. I was curious but not necessarily invested right away. (of course in retrospective its clear how Horikoshi used the early events as building blocks for what was to come later)

But you know what sways me the most: Tournament Arcs! This Sports Festival tournament was where I finally started feeling invested in the series. In part because tournament arcs provide an easy to use template for establishing character relationships, create unexpected match ups, ground character arc trajectories, and provide payoffs if used later in the story. The big plot point introduced in this arc was the #2 Hero Endeavor and the relationship with his son, Todoroki. If All Might is the honest public face hero, then Endeavor is the power obsessed guy. He destroyed his family and took extreme measures to produce a child that can beat All Might. Todoroki's story begins with him outright rejecting his father. However, this changed during a fight with Deku. Deku and Todoroki are both foils and yet mirrors of each other at the same time. They were both blessed with powers that were not obtained naturally. Deku was given a quirk on the spur of the moment from All Might. Todoroki was given his abilities in service of someone else’s goals. One accepts their reality and the other does not. Deku showed that Todoroki accepting the power is not the same as acting in father's wishes. He should use the powers gifted to him in whatever ways he sees fit. This moment comes with the first end of chapter title drop and the moment when Horikoshi’s writing clicked into place for me. The scene when Todoroki uses his flames for the first time is powerful because I loved how they were depicted coming out so naturally. These flames are a part of himself and always have been. Todoroki has at last accepted that side of himself going forward.

After the tournament, it shifts into a short arc with the Killer Hero Stain. He brings up the idea that Heroes should be more than symbols for people to worship, and instead Heroes should practice what they preach. He sees All Might as the only authentic hero to follow. This is the first time we see a villain figure making a valid point that pins down one of the faults to hero society. Stains describes how everyone is doing it for fun, out of obligation, or for making money. All Might is someone whose confidence is so strong that his hero persona and outward personality are one in the same. Sadly this arc was too short to fully explore the idea, but it would come up again later. Jumping ahead, the series quickly reached its first major story climax: All Might vs. One For All. I went into this fight thinking All Might was going to die and was very surprised when he didn't. The master passing the torch to his student through a death scene is such a common trope (which yes, it made me even more surprised how All Might survived the entire story). I was on the edge of my seat when reading this weekly and consider it a high point of the series. This fight ended up marking the beginning of the end to the Hero Society. All Might's retirement shakes the very foundation of the Hero world. Who can possibly replace someone who inspires people from all walks of life? From this point on, Deku and Shigaraki are now  walking similar paths as the heirs to this conflict. The following arcs saw the league of villains poking at the cracks and expanding the seeds of distrust.

When manga serializations are constantly one-upping itself on story climaxes, it can be hard to return to any semblance of a daily life in the aftermath of major moments. This middle section of the manga from about volume 12 to 24 is a boring stretch of the series. First getting the provisional licenses felt unnecessary in the grand scheme since there's really nothing stopping them from fighting the bad guys other than technical loopholes in the writing. Then the Shie Hassaikai arc was almost like canon filler to me.  It amounted to very little at the time and came off like a side quest. (This arc also marks the beginning of frequent breaks). Afterwards the U.A. school festival was a refreshing turn back into school life but still, Gentle isn't the fodder we need to see. Lastly, the worst offender of this stretch by far was the class A vs. B matches. A tournament style arc just for show. No stakes. Nothing of consequence.  It basically paused the story for about 2 volumes. Thankfully Horikoshi would resume the plot right afterwards with a bang.

My Villain Academia is exactly what the story needed to get itself back together. The League of Villains seemed like they were supposed to be foils for class A-1 and yet any comparable character development just wasn’t happening. This was finally going to change. This arc focused exclusively on the villains and each member would get a quirk power up, while Shigaraki received the rampaging ally Gigantomachia. We also have the Tenko: Origin chapter to put his past into perspective. While I still have issues with the villain writing, it felt like the villains could finally stand on their own in the story.

The momentum continued into the Paranormal Liberation War. An all-out fight between the heroes and villains at their peak across multiple areas of Japan. The countdown to Mirko stopping Shigaraki from reaching his true form was thrilling. Then came the first real clash between Deku and Shigaraki. However, the star of the show for this arc was undoubtedly Dabi who effectively canceled Endeavor’s entire career. Dabi exposed the past of Endeavor by explaining his own story. He showed that Heroes put up a public positive face to hide their power hungry desires motivating them behind the scenes. This makes Heroes no different from villains in many regards. These words brought an end to Hero society as we knew it. The public was already feeling uneasy after the retirement of All Might, and signaling out Endeavors’s past showed how the system was built on an image, not human understanding. Japan was left in ruins, numerous convicted villains were released back into the wild, and the people have nobody they can trust.

I consider the spread page above to be my favorite from the entire series. Horikoshi’s art reached new highs throughout the Paranormal Liberation War arc. His ability to depict Shigaraki as a real force of nature against the Heroes was crazy good. You could really feel the impact behind every attack on each individual and the surrounding environment. Shigaraki ability is something that alters landscapes wherever he goes.

The final stretch of the story begins with Deku acting like a vigilante. Hero Society at-large has hit its lowest point where the institution of Heroes who maintain public safety is no more. The public is scared for their life. Heroes have largely abandoned their post. One for All and the strongest villains are on the loose, and Deku has been completely worn down by the burden of his role. His mind has entered the idea that only he alone can fix this. The Lady Nagant storyline was awesome. She is someone who had to adapt to survive in these precilous times. A hero and a villian is only matter of perspective after all. Sometimes people will do what they need to in order to survive. If even our main character can be swayed then where is the line hero and villain?

The Dark Deku arc is when Deku is stripped down to his core convictions: the desire to protect his friends and defeat One for All. However it's the very friends that he was trying to push away, who ultimately reached out the hand to save him. Deku has touched each of their lives in ways he can't even begin to imagine. Now it was time for them to return the favor. This brings the story to a touching scene where Uraraka yells to an audience of scared citizens to remind them how Heroes are people too and Deku is one of them. This section is my favorite part of the entire story. It felt like everything had changed. We didn't know where the story was going next nor where to begin tackling the awful state of the world. Everything was so raw. It was an exciting time to be reading weekly.

After reaching a new series high, we drop down to one of its lowest points in my opinion. Star & Stripe vs. Shigaraki was an absolute shame. There should have been a study abroad arc so Deku could meet and experience heroes around the world. So when the Number One American hero is introduced, with death flags, I was skeptical about why. I don't like when characters are introduced just to die immediately. The whole point was to artificially weaken Shigaraki so the heroes would stand a chance in the upcoming final battle. Similarly, I would have liked the traitor reveal if it had been more important throughout the story. Barely came up after the training camp arc in volume 9. It came off like Hoirkoshi just needed to check off that box to appease readers before entering the final battle. But, finally seeing Hagakure’s face was a very nice reward. Despite the stumbles to set up the final battle, I thought it was incredible. One of the best in recent memory from Jump. A fight with the future of Japan on the line across numerous locations. In shonen manga style, it pulled in every single character from throughout the series, used all the mobs to their fullest, and pitted villains vs. their foil villain character. Iit definitely checked off all the boxes of what you need for a grand finale to a long running battle shonen. I think Dabi and Todoroki got the thematic ending it needed. Spinner could have used a little more focus. Himeko and Uraraka reached an understanding at the very end that was probably the safe end for their storyline. I loved seeing the floating stage slowly descend to the surface as the climax approached, while the fighting began to center around Deku and Bakugo. Horikoshi once again reached new artistic highs I couldn’t even imagine throughout the final battle. I like to think the frequent breaks allowed him to pace it better than you typically find in Jump manga final arcs.

As the series comes to close, I am left very pleased with where character arcs ended up. Deku is someone who had to grow up almost overnight. From a quirkless boy to saving all of Japan in the span of a year. He has something that All Might lacked. The spirit to never give up on leading a hand to someone in need. If All Might presented himself with confident bravado, then Deku was the honest human type. Shigaraki is someone who was beyond saving, and yet even if for a moment, Deku wanted to give the respect he deserved as a person. Deku losing his powers cements the story as being about a moment in his life. That he never took the powers he was blessed with for granted, and used them to the fullest throughout the story. I appreciated that Horikoshi made no effort to justify the villain's actions (besides partly Himeko). They are a product of unfortunate circumstances and deliberate choices which brought them to this point. Their actions speak for themselves. This applies to the heroes as well. Endeavor is a complex man with a storyline that reads more mature than you'd expect at first glance. He is a man who drove his family to ruin for the sake of strength, and those choices came back to haunt him in the form of Dabi and Todoroki. He's effectively lost everything. I think Horikoshi stuck the landing by giving readers the final judgment if he should be redeemed or not. The family members were left mixed, and Endeavor is prepared to rebuild from nothing. Shigaraki’s death is best for the sake of tying a bow on the story. Deku indirectly caused it, but he doesn’t beat himself over it that much. The world is the same as it was before the conflict. Heroes will remain in people’s lives. The systemic issues of a Hero society that sells certain images of people and casts aside those who don’t fit will persist. Another person or organization like the league of villains could easily rise up again in the future. However, Horikoshi presents a simple solution. Leading a hand to each other is a good starting point towards making the world a better place. Happiness can spread from person to another, and lead to a better understanding of those we don't know. It takes collective action to make the world a better place for everyone and that can begin with a single person.

So overall, what do I think of My Hero Academia? Ending at 430 chapters is an incredible run for a weekly manga in this current era. Horikoshi covered a lot of characters and topics, many of which I still didn’t cover at this post. I think the series has some of the strongest battle manga highs we’ve seen in the past decade, and of course some parts could have been better. I take issue with pacing and writing choices at times. The villains collectively speaking were the weakest aspect, but the genuine passion for Heroes shines through in every aspect of this work. He used that as a lens to look at problems of the world. Naruto is very optimistic with how communication is the key to bridging differences. My Hero Academia in comparison says that is only a piece of the puzzle. Everyone needs to make a conscious choice to reach out to others. We all can be a hero to someone out there. My Hero Academia will be remembered as the generation-defining Jump series of the past 10 years, In the same way its beginning overlaps late Naruto, perhaps in the future, Kagurabachi fans will remember how it started at the end of My Hero Academia’s run. My Hero Academia will finish as the 9th longest series ever in the history of Weekly Shonen Jump. This is a position it will hold long into the future. I don’t expect anything in the current line-up to come close in length. I've considered Horikoshi to be the best artist in the magazine for the past several years. He always kept improving right up to the end with insanely detailed panels and spread pages. His presence in the magazine will be missed. Thank you Kohei Horikoshi. It's been a long ride. I'm glad you could finally cross the finish line. I look forward to whatever you might do next in the future!

[pocketramblr]

Okay wait i love how you fixed the shoe thing bc the concept of that was always insane to me but i also liked some of what people were doing with it so i was really conflicted. Is there some other way that izuku might be able to deduct that shigaraki used to be quirkless maybe? Bc i always loved that part of it even if i thought the journey to get there was ridiculous

The conflicted feelings are so real like it would be a fun connection if it was real and obviously fic writers can do whatever they want but also. That's a Nike high top and a Converse low top they're literally already fun foils of each other- opposite styles and competing manufactures despite the vibe, same color, and being made of similar materials... just like the people wearing them... without adding something that isn't there... Anyway

Yeah I think there's other ways to get Izuku to deduce Shigaraki was quirkless! Especially once he knows about AfO because if there's no record of any quirk like decay on the registration (which UA teachers say there isn't) and he knows Shigaraki is working for a very old villain who can take and give quirks? OF COURSE he's going to at least consider the possibility that decay was given by AfO. Now, how do we get him to then think that Shigaraki was quirkless before that?

Well, we can just extend the conversation in the mall- Izuku already asked about AfO, so maybe when he's asking Shigaraki about his motive compared to Stain, he also asks why he's working for AfO - did he trade something to get decay? Shigaraki would probably be a bit thrown, and then hurry to say that decay is his own quirk, and then maybe Izuku could see how Shigaraki could easily be treated badly and have to turn to AfO with that quirk but... His answer was kind of suspicious, wasn't it? And honestly, he didn't sound completely sure of it? Like he was about to say he doesn't remember before he changed his mind? And then Izuku can stew on that idea for a while, try to see what it was, before maybe extrapolating from the league messing with Overhaul that maybe he's got more hangups about it, isn't sure. Or maybe Shigaraki says something about the quirk in front of Bakugo, who brings it up to Izuku after. (Or there could be a whole ripple/domino effect from the changed conversation, and Izuku and Shigaraki have different interactions that get him different clues) Maybe he starts really thinking, maybe he brings it up to All Might.

And All Might knows Shigaraki used to be Tenko, so I'm sure he went back to see when Tenko was presumed dead, how he didn't have a quirk registered at all, and Toshi knew Nana's quirk was float, and Gran knew her husband's, so they could probably figure out between them that it's way more likely AfO gave Tenko the quirk when he'd been previously quirkless.

And yeah I think that could have a fun effect when Izuku suspects it just as Tomura is beginning to realize there's something Weird going on there... That's really really fun

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

Okay so the last post wasn't my last BNHA one for the time being but I wanted to expand on this one (how I think Midoriya Izuku: Rising would go), 'cause I kept thinking "how would the buildup to it even go" and I wanted to share!

Also, I'll alternate between Tenko and Tomura a lot in this post, I apologize for it.

So, with that in mind, spoilers for the manga, up until Chapter 417, ahead!

Okay, so the vestige world is going back in time for Izuku and Tomura; and it has currently rewinded to their origins- Izuku, as at least a part of his origins (as you could make a case he was already on his way since the Quirkless diagnosis, while the Sludge Villain incident was a checkpoint). As such, it's likely Izuku will rewind the closer he gets to Shimura family death.

So, based on previous encounters, Tomura would need to be shown a commonality between him and Izuku (being underestimated, told it's impossible for them to be heroes) or the extent he's willing to go to save a person (Lady Nagant, Eri, Kota, Katsuki). With that in mind, I don't know if Izuku would be willing to think about the last one, because of the worms inside that can.

It's a little tiring to hear the same thing, but that "control your heart" thing is indeed very important for Izuku- because how do you connect to someone like Tomura- who has (mostly) lost hope for help if you keep repressing the feeling he'd also connect with? Can anyone recall the last time we've seen, unambiguously, Izuku's thoughts?

This, is where Izuku's repression problem comes in- the first and last setback of his: "Not all men are created equal"; he is the central representation of the matter... and so are the two people involved in this narrative:

Izuku wasn't created equal to most characters, despite BNHA's house of mirrors game: no relation to heroes, no Quirk, no one to encourage him to become one through other means, no self-worth- He's like a lot of characters, but no character is like him, period, least of all Tenko or Katsuki.

Tenko wasn't created equal to Izuku because his relation to Nana (a hero) is what caused Kotaro's resentment to resurface, and Tomura's faith in heroes was shattered because the one who "cared" for him was AFO, who groomed him to be a vessel. We don't even know yet if Decay was his all along or not!

Katsuki wasn't created equal to Izuku because he was thought strong by his Quirk, and too much encouragement caused confidence to become arrogance. He grew up with love, yes, but what was expected of him (to be an arrogant hero? Izuku's closest person? An extra character?) could've been the reason he would have died.

So, they all foil each other in some way, shape or form- but the main contrast between Izuku, and Katsuki and Tomura: he hides one emotion he should be allowed to feel since chapter 1: Unbridled rage. Even in situations he'd be justified, do we see him lose it like in chapter 82-83, 210, 285 and just barely 367?

With all of that information, let's return to Chapter 417; the most recent one as of now.

We know Izuku's priorities- others before himself, even at the cost of his safety. A suicidal recklessness, especially when it comes to kids-Kota and Eri come to mind, Katsuma and Mahoro as well. The panel of him jumping in to reach for Tenko while Nana confronts Kotaro is the best representation of it. So it wouldn't be surprising if he'd stick by Tenko's side during the first Decay (assuming it's Tomura's memory and not the actual person). He's always been like that, the Quirkless teen who just wanted to help people like All Might once did.

Tomura would most likely falter on his resolve, after all, no one helped him in the aftermath of the Shimura tragedy, while Izuku just saw a kid in need and decided to protect him. But I can also see this is where Izuku would lose it as well.

This is where, I think, the memory merging would come in. Tomura reminiscing on the misery that is his life, and Izuku finally losing it once he realized he and Tomura are similar, with all of his rage finally coming loose... But also that he can use that to connect to him, using the embers of OFA he can feel. Not all, but just enough. Dark Deku returns, his feelings of inadequacy, of not belonging anywhere.

Because Izuku knows that feeling of unfairness, of knowing people don't believe in his dreams. But he knows anyone can make a difference, he needs to see how much he already did, just by being the one willing to give a hand for those who needed it. He needs to know where his origin really begins- not when All Might decided to be his mentor, but when he was the first who stepped up to help when it mattered, the sludge villain incident.

For someone who would've fit with the League, had the wrong right cards been dealt for him.

This would be where Tenko would probably cease, at least enough to hear Izuku out. Still as kids, they would probably fight until Izuku breaks through, until both collapse in exhaustion in the vestige world- not only from the fight, but from their emotional state. Just two kids who are tired.

Who, by all accounts, should've been like Tomura, right?

Weren't heroes and villains the same, after all?

The outside world holds their breath, for there is no movement yet. But all beg Izuku to do his best.

Nothing can erase their pasts, but Izuku doesn't want to focus on that. He needs to accept it's a part of him. So does Tomura.

And just as they finally come to an understanding, and Izuku lends a hand- a promise the future can be better despite everything, Tenko is snatched again by a plethora of forceful grips. AFO's trump card is activated- something that tries to break Tenko and possess Tomura again. Izuku tries pulling him out of it, but is slowly consumed as well. In this moment, they grow back to their current ages, while Izuku can barely move. He has no strength, no Quirks, no help, and he'll die then and there.

But.

The vestiges are conscious enough to rebel against AFO, like before. One more time. Maybe for the last time?

Izuku is still connected to One For All.

And he's not the only one.

Maybe this is the last time One For All will exist. But if All For One is defeated, if Tomura is saved, it's worth it at any costs.

The vestiges find their way back to Izuku, trying to pull him out, while he holds on to Tomura, who's terrified of being taken control of once again. They lack the same strength of the Quirk, but still make enough of a difference. Yet, it's not enough.

Until the two hands of a UA student appear beside him.

If their feelings are one, then Izuku knows who it is, and feels something new, worrying, regretful and afraid, but surprisingly for Izuku, he's kind, fully trusting. Vestige or not, that weakness needs to become his strength, just like before, then. So, Izuku channels that part of him, the one he’s ashamed of, and turns into something he’s proud of.

That voice says one thing: Do your best.

And therefore, his strength, complemented by the missing piece of Katsuki’s vestige, ends up being the turning point.

Izuku rips Tomura out of All For One’s grip, in the vestige world and the real world— an explosion; the shape of a star just like the one moments before. The cocoon is destroyed, the hands are shattered and falling from the sky. Tomura is unconscious, but his grip doesn’t decay Izuku at all.

In that moment, the world cheers, as Izuku gets up, a scarred right fist in the air just like his idol. The fight was won, and Tomura was defeated., No, he was saved. Japan was saved. The world was saved.

Deku, Midoriya Izuku rises, and becomes the world’s greatest hero.

[coffee-in-veins]

The Character Bingo for Damian👀? Also, thoughts on the redesign?

thank you for the ask!

i really should save drafts of those, when will i learn...

here's Damian's dd1 bingo:

frankly, i didn't think much about flagellants since i rarely used them in dd1 the game. i thought about Damian since my dear friend liked him, and he even got a supportive character role in RRR since i can easily see him hunting Bloodsuckers with single-minded religious zeal. he makes a nice foil for a decent amount of folk - Rey, Junia and Baldwin for their religiousness, Tardif for their inability to comprehend their own feeling, Sarmenti for singlemindedness. there's a lot one can play with, genuinely. i like the concept.

in-game, my biggest issue was that my flagellants always failed their very first death door checks despite their supposed high rez (hell, they had martyr's seal and it didn't flipping help in the slightest!), so i just sighed and resolved to a bunch of hwms and jesters for all my bleeding needs.

anyway, here's the same bingo for dd2:

hope it explains a lot, including my attitude towards the redesign. please bear in mind, i don't own the game (and now i doubt that i will unless it gets a nifty sale.. but i'm derailing here), so my attitude is based on text descriptions and three screenshots i've seen.

but if we want to be technical:

as i mentioned above, my flagellants died more than any other class (save for maybe vestals because i didn't play with occ as healers), so seeing literal Death chasing him is frankly hilarious;

i hate zombie characters when they are played as straightforward zombies. if they are more or less creative (fungal artillery my beloved - the yell i let out when i realized what exactly was going on with this thing was and still is priceless), then they get a pass, but you can't get any more zombie-y than a mummified guy who "refuses to die because of his will";

also the snobbery of that statement. i get that it was a magazine interview but just... others are pussies, i suppose, if they fail death check and die? wonder what does it make a non-candlefed flagellant when he inevitably bites an L and dies...

also WE ARE KILLING DEATH; no, for reals. it's Death. not a monster. not some eldritch being. not corporeal demon. DEATH. the literal aspect of it. how? why? since when it's a thing?? we are the motley crew of fuckups and social rejects; yes, they (supposedly) stopped The Heart of Darkness in DD1, but there it was more of the benefit of the estate and the looping nature of the land surrounding the titular Darkest Dungeon than anything, with a dash of Sleeper's time fuckupery and the Heir heavily implied to be cursed to keep the loop going and the Heart sleeping. and then again - you are supposed to lose a minimum of two heroes in that fight. are we supposed to perma-lose someone "Come Unto Thy Maker" style each time we fight Death? I highly doubt it, because Damian will become a liability quicker than he'd appear on a character select screen; here we are supplexing literal "i'm in my horsegirl phase" Thanatos AS A ROAD MINIBOSS; let's see what road minibosses are: a canon, a greedy woman with PTSD from her former expeditions, a pack of bandits and LITERAL DEATH; am I the only one who sees a "what the fuck are stakes" problem, here...?

also also seeing a fanatically zealous character having a move to desecrate corpses/graves is very odd, imo. yes, Baldwin/Leper has one too in dd2 - but in dd2 he is canonically no longer religious;

this is more of my quirk of trying to biologically explain eldritch fuckupery - but if Damian has coherent lines in DD2, this is a fuckup on RH part. he has no lips. he physically cannot speak as a human would, since lips and cheeks are a big part of how we form sounds to make words. if he groans, moans and wheezes only - my bad, you can ignore this point completely;

he no longer has his tooth gap. why? why, RH, why? his CC set trinket is literally Chipped Tooth. his background comic highlights him losing it. and yet his "rotting body" somehow got dental work and got it back...?

I dunno man. much like DD2 in general, i want to love it, i genuinely do, but it feels like... how do i put it. imagine amazon "hollywoodifying" DD1 with absurd stakes and literal "we're the only one who can stop the end of the world with our street magic" and making a sequel based on that and... i just dunno. i want to give it the benefit of the doubt, but the more i see, the less hope i have. huh. much like the game itself does, i suppose. it was a dd2 joke. an attempt to make one, at least.

sorry to end on such a downer note ^^' i hope you can enjoy dd2. i genuinely hope you can, i'll envy you in the best of ways. the game looks amazing and sounds decent, and i wish i didn't detest the rest of it. looking at you, gatcha.

and we end up on another rant of mine about dd2... sorry ^^' i'll try to control myself next time.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Being honest, I won't act like that wouldn't be my own response in this hypothetical, so long as Shigaraki kept his mind in tact anyway.

But in my defence, at least part of that was because ever since the first war arc I always thought it was in the cards for Deku, even if he went through all the character development I hoped he would, would come up short of being the hero that Tenko and others in/like the League needed. But I also always figured that's okay because, as long as his arc ends with saving Tomura in a way that acknowledges him as a guy worth listening too, they could team-up such that Tomura could cover for Deku's short comings and vice versa.

See, while I suspect most bnha fans tend to read one of the two foils as largely in the right and the other in the wrong (I mean I'm writing this, but I find I usually fit this description); I think an objective view would say that each has good qualities, things they're right about, and important points to make & things to fight for. But they are also each deeply flawed. In pretty much every way that Tomura's a 5-year old who's traumatized and lashing out, Izuku is a 4-year old desperately playing All Might like it's the only thing that matters to him; both of these aspects to the characters have many flaws stemming from them that I think were nearly all apparent in this final arc. (Might've even been ramped-up, with Tomura more nihilistically destructive & Deku more self-righteously thick-headed than usual.)

However, I think a lot of their good points were things that could've covered the other's flaws; Deku's optimism countering Tomura's pessimism, Tomura's ambition for improvement countering Deku's complacency, etc. If they had ever teamed-up for real, all for one and one for all (the quirks at least) united as yin & yang, who knows? Maybe they could've improved society while keeping it stable. Or something.

So yeah, I honestly would be calling it a success if Tomura lived and nothing else changed (well, I'd also like him to acknowledge the adult Shigaraki Tomura a bit more; but even if he didn't, there's still be hope if Tomura were alive); because that's been my thought process for a while: "it's okay if Deku kinda sucks because as long as he saves Tomura, then Tomura can cover for Deku's failings going forward. (And, y'know, Deku could cover for Tomura's flaws too I guess.)"

Ah, if only.

the ridiculous thing is that I think if 423 had ended with Shigaraki's regeneration kicking in after the AFO vestige was defeated, or Deku miraculously pulling out a five-year-old Tenko from the disintegrating form of Shigaraki-Possessed-By-AFO, or whatever 'save' Deku does, then it would be seen as a success, a 'save', and him as the greatest Hero. Nothing would've changed about his awful methods all throughout the last 100+ chapters or his condescending attitude towards Shigaraki and the villains, but because it worked out in the end - not by his efforts, but by sheer luck or deus ex machinas - it would've been seen as a successful save. and we'd be getting heartwarming panels of Shigaraki Tenko and the guy who tried his hardest to break open his soul and beat him to pieces but thankfully did not succeed due to quirk magic.

[grimalkinmessor]

*cracks knuckles* TIME TO GET INTO MY SHIGADEKUBAKU AGENDA

How Shigaraki is BOTH Midoriya And Bakugou's Main Villain And How They're All Tied Together: A Long Ramble

.

.

First thing's first—parallels. Specifically the differences between thematic parallels and narrative foils.

Hori has set Bakugou up as Shigaraki's thematic parallel, and Midoriya up as his narrative foil by making Midoriya mirror Tenko while also having Bakugou mirror Shigaraki.

Both Midoriya and Tenko grew up abused and lonely, one thought to be Quirkless and the other actually Quirkless, and even then the first manifested a 'villainous' Quirk not long afterward. Both of them have experienced Quirk discrimination and the inequality of society.

Both were shamed and discouraged for wanting to be a hero to the point that others would get physically violent with them. And while all three of them idolized All Might as children, only Midoriya and Tenko (specifically Shimura) have direct connections to All Might.

Meanwhile, Bakugou and Shigaraki are more physically similar. Both of them have extremely destructive, hand-centralized Quirks, and both of them have the same sort of attitude about them—even their speech patterns are similar in that they both say brash things while simultaneously staying polite in their actions. They are both quick to anger and yet incredibly intelligent and strategic, as well as not-so-natural leaders.

Bakugou's learning curve mirrors Shigaraki's on that almost identically. They approach their set goals with a stubborn single-mindedness that's honestly impressive.

The only place that they really differ is in their mindset towards battle.

Where Bakugou has always fought and trained to achieve absolute victory, Shigaraki has grown up being told that failure is expected and should be turned into a learning experience.

And now in this recent battle this difference is even more important, because while Bakugou is now finding a sort of 'freedom' in failure, Shigaraki has victory in his grasp and yet ultimately remains trapped.

Where Midoriya recognizes Tenko and his pain, but can't understand Shigaraki's villainy, the reverse is true for Bakugou. Where Bakugou cannot relate to discrimination and discouragement, he can understand Shigaraki's villainous mindset.

Because Bakugou has a mirrored redemption arc.

Both he and Shigaraki have anger issues. They lash out and hurt people at the slightest provocation, and are obsessed with making sure that they get what they want. If anyone gets in their way, they're toast.

Or, that WAS the case, at least.

Because wouldn't you know it, Bakugou has since grown! He was confronted with his own weakness, and learned the value of teamwork and kindness by making friends—though his ultimate form of redemption came through Midoriya.

Sounds kinda familiar, doesn't it?

My third point, which my bakudekus will love, is that Midoriya and Bakugou were always meant to be a team.

I always wondered why Bakugou didn't have a true villain of his own, before I realized that it's because Shigaraki is both Bakugou and Midoriya's main villain.

They are a matched set, a pair—you cannot have one without the other. Bakugou and Midoriya have each encountered Shigaraki once alone (Midoriya at the mall and Bakugou during his kidnapping), and every other time they've faced him together.

Because Bakugou was never meant to be his own hero with his own story. He's always been intimately tied in with Midoriya.

This goes all the way back to Deku vs. Kacchan 2, where the phrase 'win to save, save to win' came up, because it comes to fruition in their fight with Shigaraki.

Midoriya is not meant to fight Shigaraki, because he needs to save him. And only Midoriya can save him, because he's the only one who understands that Tenko needs to be saved.

Bakugou is not meant to save Shigaraki, because he needs to fight him. And, as we've seen in the new chapters, (what, you think a student would be the only hero to land a hard hit on the villain if it wasn't plot relevant?) only Bakugou can fight him, because he understands Shigaraki.

To beat ShigAFO, and to save Tenko, both Bakugou and Midoriya need to be the ones to face him. Together.

Both Bakugou and Midoriya understand helplessness intimately. They both know exactly what Shigaraki is going through right now.

In order for All For One to be defeated, and Shigaraki to be saved, you need them both. Because Bakugou couldn't do it on his own, and I guarantee you that Midoriya won't be able to do it on his own either.

And after Shigaraki is let loose, I'm willing to bet that it will take all three of them turning on All For One to defeat him. Not only because it seals Shigaraki's own redemption arc in place, but because it will finally be the three of them all together on the same side.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk! :D

[justatalkingface]

What are your thoughts on Shigaraki as a character and his arc?

You have the best MHA takes. What did you think of how Shigaraki was going before the bait and switch? You spoke a bit about Tomura in a previous ask, but I wanted to get your full thoughts.

Whiplash.

In short? He's simultaneously some of the best, most engaging, most realistic character development I've ever seen, so good it took me from zero to a hundred on his character, and someone whose potential got dropped into the ground and smashed like an egg.

I didn't like him at first. Or at second. Or honestly, for years: he slowly grew in the series, like Izuku, but he still remained the same whiny man-child as he was in the first place, and I couldn't stand that. He was, for the longest time, my least favorite villain, the worst part of the League, yet, somehow, the point they all orbited around anyways, and his two or three seconds of menace never made up for how annoying he felt at times.

It felt... piecemeal, boring. Like, there was obviously a conclusion building up there, somewhere, a point where he'd be more, but it felt so far away at times. He'd learn one obvious ass lesson in common sense, then run straight into another situation with an obvious problem he somehow missed 'til it smacked him in the face.

More than that, though, he felt weak. Weakness in a villain, as Gigantomachia helpfully frames it, is a sin; why am I afraid if you aren't threatening? Why are you dangerous if you feel so harmless? Threat, one way or another, is at the core of a good villain: it helps define their character, and through them, it makes you care about the setting, the characters, about what happens next. Oh no, will our hero die? What will that monster do to the Best Friend?

Without threat, without menace , without fear, a villain will always seem less.

And sure, technically he was dangerous, but not villainous. He wasn't evil, he was an oversized baby someone handed a death ray and throwing tantrums with it. The thing is, for most of the time Shigaraki Tomura wasn't dangerous because who he was, he was dangerous because he won the murder lottery, nothing more. But at the same time, he didn't have to be anything more than a child, because AFO was covering his ass, taking that role for him, even with maybe two minutes of screen time... until Kaminio. And without AFO to hold his hand, he was toddling off into the wider world like the child he really was, and he felt so damn impotent as he was railroaded to Gigantomachia, still not knowing what to do, still with the actual adults holding all the cards.

And it's just... this is Izuku's foil? This is the new evil to replace AFO, the new Symbol of Fear? Izuku has ascended in leaps and bounds, and this idiot is still figuring out step one!

Then he steps away from the invincible giant, and we get the MVA arc.

And the character development; he becomes a different person, but at the same time, unlike so many 'wimpy character gets hard' arc, he's still Shigaraki at the end.

It something you see a lot in fanfic and such, a character being trapped into an endless combat hell like he was. The one that emerges from that, though, is always a new person, their interests and perspectives gone and replaced by the new, edgier ones, often explicitly rejecting their old life and talking about how different they are now. New Shigaraki, even with his dumb-ass cape and the artificial way his Quirk felt leveled up, was still Shigaraki.

It's the brilliance of that change I can't praise enough, where Shigaraki's character growth suddenly makes sense. It's not typical, one step coming before the other, like Izuku. The way he so haphazardly gained each little piece was like that because he was meant to use all of them at once, as foundations to a new stage. It's the difference between stacking blocks on top of each other, and getting a neat little tower, or standing up a handful of normal blocks to act as legs to hold up one giant block. Which leg came first didn't matter since it could only happen once he had all the pieces.

And that conclusion he eventually comes to? Magnificent. Oh, it's objectively terrible, obviously, and the logic is ass, but the thing is is that it's his logic. It is absolutely something I can see him saying, see him thinking, that he would end up with with his cripplingly small amount of insight into the world and how things work, with his long established habits of hatred and holding grudges and wanting to break everything that bothers him.

His goal, no matter how you cut it, is simply monstrous in a way that surpasses even his mentor. At best, he wants to destroy all of society. At worst, at his most literal (and Shigaraki doesn't really do deception) he wants to simply and purely destroy everything he possibly can. You know, except his friends. And whatever they like.

It's a child's view of evil, of change, like painting a picture where anything they don't want can just be... painted over, without any real consequence. It's malformed and incomplete, but all the more terrifying for that, because it's the malice of a child.

It's that juxtaposition, between the ignorant innocent that a child represents, and the darkness of their desire to kill, that makes evil children so disturbing, and Tomura's aims so malicious.

And then.. we get the War Arc, and I think anyone reading this knows what I think about that. And it's here, in the War Arc, where Hori turns to this beautiful horror he's just made, and starts frantically tearing it apart, and has continued to do so at every possible moment. You can almost hear him screaming, 'Wait, wait! I don't want this!'

There was so much... symbolism in Shirgarki's full hearted acceptance of villainy, how he Decayed his family, again, willingly. It was wonderful, a perfect sign about how he have finally moved past who he was as a child, and no longer needed to cling (or be clung to) by their memories. And the way he Decayed All For One during the War Arc (one of the few good moments), boldly declaring he'd surpass him? Chilling.

Too bad Hori decided to promptly throw all that out by having AFO take over. And then, after Shigaraki had explicitly killed off his past, moved beyond who he was as a child... Izuku sees Tenko inside him.

Later, when we get to the final arc, we see Tenko mindlessly make the family he explicitly rejected as security blankets.

All of that growth, all that development... thrown out, so that Deku, that empty shell of a character, can look at him and go, 'I need to save him!' Nevermind all the people had killed, nevermind everything he had destroyed, nevermind what he thinks of the man who haunted him ever since this story started, The Protagonist saw A Child and he needs to save him.

In theory, AFO taking over Shigaraki could have been great. After all that development, though, all that work to make him finally able to stand on his own as a threat? It feels like Hori frantically trying to regress him to an acceptable level of innocence, so that AFO can carry all the burden of guilt for him (and Dabi. And god knows who else by the time this is over....) so whatever redemption they end up with doesn't fall flat (it's totally going to fall flat). However he escapes that, he's no longer going to be who he was, he'll just be reduced to the regretful villain, who is better now, honest! ...That is, if the actual child isn't what he ends up as, and there's a non-zero chance of that.

Meanwhile, let's talk power ups. Shigaraki getting stronger was understandable. Him getting All For One was thematic. The fact that an incomplete version walks out of the tank, and tanks all heroes attacks without dying is just... way too much. And then he gets stronger, or rather Hori turned to the 'Power Up' button and spent every moment SFO was on screen slamming it.

Worst yet, his power ups and Izuku's power ups are this self perpetuating cycle that won't end until the story is over: Izuku is too strong so Shigaraki gets stronger, when means Izuku is too weak so he gets stronger, which means that Shigaraki needs to get stronger again.... they've already far eclipsed everyone else and I'm fully prepared for more upgrades to come as we reach the finale and throw away all logic for bigger, more epic explosions.

It makes so much of his fights seem empty, because you know he'll win. The big fight with everyone not named The Protagonist, all the tricks they brought out to face him, was pointless noise, because every other minute he seemed to take a new form for no reason, faced no challenge, no threat, from all the people attacking him and yet was still unable to do anything. The fact that he's reached a point where Erasure needs to be constantly in effect is just... Madara Syndrome all over again.

'Haha, I've made my villain so cool! He can do all these awesome looking things, and he's invincible, and... wait! Shit. He's invincible! Shit shit... what am I going to do... Oh, I know! I'll have the moon eat him station Erasure constantly in sight of him and yet have him never be willing or able to stop it even though he's basiclly a demigod!'

If you have to nerf your villain every time he appears to have your heroes survive him, you have a problem. Hori gave him all these toys, only to have them taken away so suddenly, before he could even use them, it makes you wonder why he even got them in the first place other than for hype.

Also, while I'm at it... let's talk about one of those toys: Decay. Or rather, 'Original Decay' or whatever. This getting powered up make sense, but the way it happened just feels like retroactive justification of Shigaraki as a villain. Plot wise, I get that it was great symbolism, and helped tie his backstory together, but the fact he was repressing it, and suddenly 'got it back' just sat badly with me. It feels like it'd make a lot more sense, in a 'realistic' sense for it to have just Awakened (which is definitely a thing that should have been talked about more before they started happening everywhere) to explain the sudden power up rather than him just nerfing himself this entire time and only suddenly realizing it. This is me just nitpicking, really, but it irks me.

So yeah, Shigaraki was great potential that become no potential in about two minutes flat, and I dread whatever end he gets at the close of the story, because it will never match up to what it could have been.

[makeste]

I saw this take on twitter about Hana & Kacchan having “reverse parallels” and since they both have apologised to Tenko/Deku (but one was more or less sincere and the other was absolutely sincere) and they said that, while Hana moved away from Tenko, Kacchan ran to catch Deku. There was also more to the thread abt Kacchan & Hana’s differences. They were sorta trying to argue that this is a clue that Hori intends for Bkdk to be sibling-like/brotherly. As a bkdk shipped, I’ve accepted that it makes sense.. cause it’s an established fact that Tenko & Deku parallel each other. Tenko having his own “Kacchan” makes sense. Tho yes I am a little sad since I’ve held a little bit of hope for romantic bkdk becoming canon. I just wanted to ask your opinion if Hana was really meant to foil Kacchan or was it just a reach?

okay so I have a couple responses to this.

1. while it's true that Horikoshi has woven a lot of deliberate parallels between Deku and Tenko's characters, that doesn't mean every single thing about their lives and every single person they interact with is a part of those parallels. which is to say that no, I don't really think Hana and Kacchan are meant to mirror each other in any kind of significant way. Hana's apology to Tenko was under completely different circumstances than Kacchan's apology to Deku; I really don't see any connection between the two situations. you might as well be trying to compare Hana to Endeavor, or Deku, or Hawks, or Aizawa, or any other character who's apologized to anyone over the course of the story.

2. please pardon the forthcoming rant, anon -- and I hope you know that none of this is aimed at you in particular -- but for me personally, this whole obsession with ships becoming canon is one of the most exasperating types of discourse there is. like, don't get me wrong, I totally understand people wanting to see their favorite ships validated by the author, and not to mention there's also the issue of having more LGBTQ+ representation. but speaking as someone whose own orientation (aromantic) has almost no representation in fiction whatsoever, it gets frustrating to see so many people dismiss non-romantic relationships as being an inferior type of ship, to the extent that calling a relationship "sibling-like" is now a commonly-used attack in ship wars. so many people view romance as this completely transformative element, to the point where two characters can literally tick every other box on the intimate personal relationship checklist, and none of it will matter to some people unless they actually confess their love and kiss.

and again, I'm not saying I don't understand it, especially since queerbating is a thing. it's one thing if a writer is genuinely just trying to portray a close friendship, especially in series where romance isn't really a focus. but it's another thing entirely if a writer is deliberately hinting at a romance in a blatant bid to attract a larger queer audience, while all the while having no intention whatsoever of having those hints lead anywhere. the issue, I guess, is that it's not always easy to tell which scenarios are the former, and which are the latter. and of course, you also have people who think that the former is a type of cop-out as well, because the thing is that romance is always viewed as the default. so for a lot of people, allosexual and alloromantic relationships are the only ones that get considered as far as representation goes.

but you know what, I'm just gonna say it; even knowing where people are coming from, it's still discouraging to know that so many people are so dismissive of aro and ace relationships that the thought of a favorite ship not becoming romantic in canon is considered a profound disappointment. and it's even more discouraging that the thought of a rival ship becoming canon is considered such an existential threat to some that they will literally use "oh, they're just like siblings" as an argument against the ship, rather than a point in favor of. because siblings are a downgrade. friendship is a downgrade. any kind of close relationship that isn't inherently romantic or sexual in nature is less important, and that's just how it is.

so yeah, that's kind of a pet peeve, ngl. especially since the truth is I actually do think Bakugou and Deku's relationship is very akin to siblings. and so I do sometimes get weary of not being able to just outright say that without having to first pepper the statement with all kinds of disclaimers so that people don't think I'm invalidating the ship. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells if I ever want to talk about their relationship in terms that I can personally relate to.

but I mean, here's how I look at it. they've known each other since they were small children. they call each other exclusively (or almost exclusively) by childhood nicknames. they have an openness and an unspoken, almost taken-for-granted trust in each other to the point where they'll share closely guarded secrets ("I got my quirk from someone else") and personal vulnerabilities ("why was I the one who ended All Might?") with barely a second's hesitation which they would never share with anyone else. they have a comfortable little bickering type of rapport ("I'm getting stronger"; "well I'll just have to get even stronger then"; "you'll never surpass me"; "we'll see about that") which they can fall into with ease and which looks weird af to outsiders, but is "normal" to them and something they're both grateful to have.

they're so intimately familiar with each other's personality and behaviors that they can predict them with perfect accuracy. they're so in tune with each other that they can whip up elaborate coordinated attacks right on the spot in perfect sync. their admiration for each other is so strong that they each think of the other as being the epitome of winning and saving, respectively. their mental images of each other are so vivid that they subconsciously mimic each other's speech patterns whenever they start falling into a particularly strong Win or Save mindset themselves. they take no small amount of pride in showing off for each other. they go apeshit any time the other is in danger or hurt. and each of them would literally die for the other if it ever came to that.

all of that is already canon. on just about every metric imaginable except for "now kiss", the two of them already have a canon intimacy that rivals just about every other great relationship out there. and so to say that none of it actually counts unless there's an actual love confession involved frankly just boggles me. again, maybe it's because I have no personal vested interest in romance myself, though. I'm literally just not wired that way, and so I'm really not the best person to vent to when it comes to these kinds of concerns.

but look, no matter what happens from here on out, these two care about each other on a very deep and personal level. they're going to continue to be a part of each other's lives no matter what. and each of them, no matter what, will continue to occupy a space in each other's lives that no other person can fill, regardless of how we or Horikoshi or anyone else choose to label and define that space. and so in my book, that's already a win.

anyways, apologies again for the impromptu rant. again, this wasn't particularly directed at you in any way; if anything it's mostly just a generic response to the constant shipping discourse in this and every other fandom, and a more detailed explanation for why I personally don't like to get involved in it. this is just one of the myriad reasons why I try my best to stay very far away from BnHA twitter lol.

[haleigh-sloth]

i know deku wants to save ppl bc it is natural for him to do that but do you think its possible for him to somehow connect emotionally with shiggy? like in a genuine way and not just 'we both like/liked heros' way

Yes, definitely.

In fact, I really don't think the "we both wanted to be heroes" origin is going to be what connects them at all. The purpose of Shigaraki saying that exact same line was specifically for you to connect the two in your head. But their origin stories are vastly different and take off in similar, yet very different directions. They parallel AND foil each other.

Midoriya and Shigaraki have similar origins in terms of aspirations and personalities (protective of friends, sweet kids who wanted to help others), but later on their lives took completely opposite directions. Opposite directions, but also somehow the same. Both inherited powers they thought they wanted, only to end up in a war that was never theirs to fight. But they’re stuck having to anyway.

It started off with the notion that they just both wanted to be heroes, but it ended up going much deeper and personal than that.

Everything past this point is my personal prediction, but I'm basing it off of recent developments in the story and things we've known for a while.

What I think is actually gonna connect them is the fact that they’re each other’s missing piece. Midoriya can’t be the hero he wants to be if he can’t save everyone. He can’t be the hero he wants to be if he can’t succeed where All Might failed. All Might failed Tenko, who was technically always OFA’s responsibility because of Nana Shimura (All Might’s initial reaction of guilt over this proves that). Midoriya can’t be the hero he wants to be without Shigaraki, and I think at this point in the story Midoriya is probably wondering how the hell he’s gonna save this dude. All I know is that it's gonna be more about words and actions than fighting. We don't know the details of how it'll go down, but we know he’s going to reach and save him.

And then Shigaraki can’t be saved without Midoriya. Midoriya sees someone who needs to be stopped AND saved. Not somebody who needs to be killed, and not someone who needs to be encouraged to continue on the destructive path he's on (which the LOV are doing, as a result of their own anger too). Midoriya clearly sees the faults in Shigaraki’s methods, but he’s also starting to see where he may have fallen short as a hero.

Also the biggest thing about Midoriya and Shigaraki is that they both need to come to an understanding. Because Midoriya said something in the beginning to Shigaraki that stuck with him throughout the entire story.

And Midoriya has been reflecting lately too.

There's more on Shigaraki's part in this too. If you look back in the early EARLY chapters, Shigaraki clearly noticed Midoriya a long time ago. At the time it came across as "checking out and keeping an eye on your enemy", but after we saw Tenko asking for Midoriya specifically, to save him, I don't think we're supposed to think that anymore. Literally every notable save Midoriya has made throughout the story, Shigaraki was there to witness it, either up close or from the sidelines. But he saw it. He also saw Stain save Midoriya. Stain, who had literally just got done lecturing Shigaraki about "fake heroes" and only killing with a purpose. He saw the HERO KILLER STAIN save Midoriya, an aspiring hero.

So basically, my prediction for how this is gonna go is, I think we’re gonna find out in the coming chapters that Shigaraki, deep, deep, DEEP down (and not acknowledging it) believed in Midoriya’s ability to be a hero, regardless of his quirk. Which is something Midoriya also needed from the beginning. Because Shigaraki didn't know about OFA! He had no idea. But Midoriya irritated him from the get go because he reminded Shigaraki of All Might.

And well, I think it's obvious by now that Shigaraki's hatred of All Might is because of the praise he gets for saving "everyone", everyone except for Tenko.

So like....my take on the mall scene, which was an important scene to both of their arcs, is that Shigaraki had already decided in his head that Midoriya was actually heroic. And that bothered him. The kid bothered him before he even knew anything about him.

I mean for fucks sake look at what he was doing literally right before he went to the mall lol

So I don't think the answer to their connection is "oh you liked heroes as a kid too???" I think it's going to be Midoriya realizing what it takes to really be a true hero, and Shigaraki realizing that hope is NOT lost, he is still worth saving, and there is someone who will do it. And a bonus for him, learning that his gut feeling was right and he took notice of the right person after all.

[quidfree]

do you have any thoughts on class 1a dynamics as a whole? i really love whenever they make an appearance in your fics (like the party in tlaao) would love anything more you had to offer, whether in high school or in a hypothetical future

honestly i dont have that many thoughts on the subject bc if im being real i only care about like 40% of class 1-a lol. sorry to the extras but so many of the charas are not developed or interesting enough for me to have thoughts on them. i vacillate between wanting to just flesh out characters myself or point to canon and just give in to the fact that loads of the characters are boring / have no depth, so i dont have specific takes on like The Entire Class. but i do enjoy the way certain charas bounce off each other and some of the friend groups, notably the whole kirishima/kaminari/sero/ashido subgroup who i think feel like an actual group of friends w clear similarities in temperament but distinct personalities, unlike a lot of the nebulously fanon friendships in the class.

for the class as a whole i do find their like group dynamic interesting objectively given 1) the insane amount of trauma theyve been through and 2) the way certain classmates are unarguably like the mvps of the class. theyre all traumabonded war vets by this point so i imagine theyre pretty close regardless of personal affinity, but then also 5-10 of them are consistently involved in high stakes drama and 3 of them are like the main characters of their universe, espeeeecially bakudeku. i have this whole thesis on 1-a v bakudeku that ive never worded properly which is like… yk how all might says theyre 2 sides of the heroism thing? i think thats also true wrt to their class. like in their own way i think both of them are kind of the heart of the class/the class mascot. i know that may seem like a stretch regarding bakugou but i think its p true. theyre both fairly aspirational and also heavily involved in class plots (for bakugous side think sports fest and kidnapping for starters lol), n i think lowkey both have similar leader traits ™ despite opposite approaches as the story progresses. importantly they have like opposition/foil roles to each other so i think in conjunction is when they really act as class mascot. and i love that in recent arcs bakugou is like the class voice of reason leader to midoriyas rogue agent thats a fun reversal (altho id argue midoriya has always been a pretty reckless and independent actor who is a team player only by chance).

also i just enjoy narratives where there are some people that Stand Out and i wish there was more of a… idk, Vibe there where 1a acknowledges the Otherness of some of their classmates instead of typical ‘together we fight! we are here for each other! go team!’ ra-ra shonen bs. bc it would be really weird and interesting to examine what its like to be a character w like normal / above average but normal for 1A abilities but then have to contend w these Super OP classmates. imagine going to class and endeavours kid is there w two quirks. and one guy has all mights quirk. and the other guy gets kidnapped by the league of villains as a recruitment stunt bc hes that good. ok.

i realise ive gotten very off topic from ur ask i think in a less meta way something i enjoy is the semi unlikely spinoff friendships that develop w age. like i always enjoy making uraraka close with both bakugou and todoroki bc i think she admires them both a lot in hs and sort of befriends them individually by accident through midoriya except it just sticks bc shes good-natured but not much of a pushover so she can handle their antisocial antics. or like sero is unexpectedly one of those ppl who just has everyone’s number bc hes really chill and has unlikely hobbies. in general i think 1a likely hang out a lot even as adults and their in-jokes are all really disturbing but funny to them alone. they also try to drag the horror trio kicking and screaming out of pure workaholicism whenever they can (kirisquad esp). i feel like the first couple of times 1a went out they went massively overboard bc of their abnormally important need for stress release and it was a complete mess that barely anyone remembers anything of except the usual sober(ish) contingent. todoroki and bakugou both know more than they let on but will take the memories to the grave for a variety of reasons.

theyre probably all very competent heroes in general when older also but like yk how when youre surrounded by smart people you forget theyre smart? i feel like their sense of normalcy is so skewed none of them realise how impossibly trained they all are at their jobs. their peers/the GP is in consistent shock and theyre just like ‘whos up for drinks next tuesday lol’. running gag that all of 1-a is ridiculously overqualified and also like way too used to dealing w earth-shattering danger so normal villains avoid them like the plague to spare themselves the embarrassment.

[bakugohoex]

part one: “you want to sleep on the floor”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: university student y/n, implicit nsfw, fluff and language

word count: 3400+

a/n: this is dedicated to the one anon who was super sweet to me yesterday, all of your support means the world to me and i hope you guys enjoyed this 

summary: in which you’re neighbours with pro hero katsuki bakugo, one night your roommate and her boyfriend get a bit too loud, with no where else to turn you end up in the apartment of bakugo’s, sleeping beside him you both realise the hidden feelings between one another 

part two 

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

The bed squeaked and headboard banging against the wall, moans filled the apartment and the sound of ongoing thrusts erupted out of one single room. You hadn’t slept in hours, the sound from your roommates room vibrating against the whole apartment.

What was even worse, was not just having both your rooms side by side, meaning every time the man thrusted back and forth inside of her you could hear her bed hit the wall, no it wasn’t just that, it was the fact this had been going on for hours now.

You saw the digital clock indicate three am, how could one couple go at it for two hours straight, better yet who gets horny at one am and thinks lets having a fuck session whilst their roommate is next door.

Well your friend clearly did, it wasn’t like you wanted to interrupt them, they hadn’t seen each other in a while and deserved something. But at the expense of your sleep, it was a lot more than you had expected. You had prayed they would stop but the moans of his name continued, and it seemed like they would never stop anytime soon.  

You swung your legs off your bed, yawning as the stars filled the sky, you would go to the balcony, probably try and fall asleep outside if it was summer, but it wasn’t. It was fucking winter and you could see the snow form on top of the window ledge. There was always the sofa, you put a hoodie on your body, covering the short shirt and bottoms you wore, dragging your duvet to the sofa.

Staring up at the ceiling, trying to gain some sleep, you hoped the noise of their maniac sex would calm down. But to your luck, the noise seemed to get even more louder, as if they had left the door open. You really did not need to hear the consistent grunting and moaning coming from your friend and her boyfriend. You knew tomorrow morning you wouldn’t be able to face them after the night they were having.

You were cynical, the last time you had sex being months ago. You were touch deprived and even worse the crush on your pro hero neighbour made it worse, when you’d go in the early mornings to the balcony or get your mail, you’d see the man.

He’s be sweaty from some sort of training, his black vest always clinged onto his body perfectly. He was like a renaissance art piece, he deserved to be in a museum. You tried to think about him, to get rid of the sound of your roommate, you had had an encounter with him in the morning. He had come back from an early morning run and you had gone to get the mail. Flicking through it Bakugo called your name to make sure the elevator didn’t go without him.

The pro hero was drenched in sweat and his long-sleeved running shirt clung to all his muscles, the shorts and leggings he wore underneath sticking to his thigh muscles. It was a sight for sore eyes, and you tried to not stare. “Hey Bakugo.”

You spoke politely, he looked down at you flicking through the mail, mainly magazines and other shit. “Y/n.” He spoke coldly, how could you had a crush on such a cold man.

“I saw on the news about the villains you captured, it was cool.” You tried to converse; he raised an eyebrow crossing his arms.

“It was more than cool, I did it single handily, stupid extras didn’t even help.” He smirked as if he was reminiscing in the past nights action.

You looked up at him, his jaw clenched. “Oh well you didn’t need their help in the first place, did you?” You teased a grin on your face.

He saw you step out of the elevator about to answer but instead keeping quiet, you wish you had stopped walking waiting for an answer but your boldness at teasing had made you too flustered to wait. He often was cold to both you and your roommate, mainly your roommate who found the pro hero an irritant. You often saw his friends come back and forth out of his apartment; you were shocked at how his friends were a foil of the man.

He was angry and frustrated and red riot who you assumed was his best friend frequently visited. Your roommate hated the boy due to her theory that he looked down on commoners, you were studying to go into (any career) and you had been working hard. Was she right? Were you really nothing more than commoners needing to be saved.

Your thoughts turned to your roommate and you got out of your daze of the pro hero, you really couldn’t sleep with the grunts. Your best option was to find somewhere else to sleep for the rest of the night, you were glad it was Sunday the next day so you could have a lie in.

You thought of who you could text to ask if you could spend the night, most of your friends being their own university students with their own problems. Your finger lingered over Bakugo’s number before you decided to just straight up ask him if you could sleep on his sofa.

Leaving your duvet in your room, you unlocked the door of your apartment, quickly slipping out. You finally had some peace without having to hear any more vigorous thrusts, did he want to split her in half or something. You rested your head against the door, before pacing outside Bakugo’s door, the number nine on the side. You hesitated knocking, maybe you should’ve texted before knocking at his door at half three in the morning.

It was only by accident and your nerves that you quickly knocked on the door. Maybe he wouldn’t even hear it, it was early morning, and he could be sleeping. About to leave the door, you were met by the man, he was shirtless, only wearing some grey joggers. You were almost about to admire his body, but as he raised his eyebrow a ‘what’ coming from his mouth you started to spew out your thoughts.

“…so yeah, my roommate and her boyfriend have been fucking for nearly three hours now, and I need my sleep so can I like sleep on your sofa or floor” He raised an eyebrow, his arm was leaning against the top of the door, his height making it easy for him to reach. “It’s fine, if you’ve got no room, I can just go back and h…”

“Shut up and get inside.” You were shocked but quickly obliged, walking into his apartment.

It was not what you had expected, the same layout even with two bedrooms. “My spare room has my hero stuff in it, you want to sleep on the floor”

He was grinning at the idea of you sleeping on the floor, “I can sleep anywhere just not in a sex ridden apartment.”

“My bedrooms free.” He spoke, your face reddening.

“Umm…aren’t you s…sleeping there?” You asked not meeting his gaze.

He crossed his arms, his blond hair less spiky from sleeping. “We’re adults Y/n, we can sleep in the same bed.”

You nodded, not speaking out of fear you’d say something wrong. He walked towards the room as you followed in suit, “stay on your side and we should be fine.”

You nodded again, he went on his side, lying down bare in front of you. It was a sight, his room was boiling, you took your hoodie off he looked at you, trying to not see how your shirt rid to show your exposed stomach. He looked away just as your head popped out of the hoodie. You laid on your side, Bakugo’s broad shoulders made your own touch his as he was partially on your side.

“You have a nice apartment.” You complimented knowing the two of you were still awake facing the ceiling.

He huffed, side eyeing you, he watched as your brought the covers around your shoulders. “It’s exactly like yours, minus the horny roommate.”

You laughed at the comment, turning to face his body. You didn’t care if you both weren’t classed as friends, you were going to try and somehow become friends of sorts. “Who wouldn’t love a horny roommate?”

“Me, I need my space and defiantly cant handle being around sex noises, you should’ve shot them with your quirk or something.”

You hadn’t even told him what your quirk was, it was simple and useless in most situations. “I don’t think its possible for me to do that with my quirk.”

He raised an eyebrow still facing the ceiling, his arm had moved behind his back , you could see his arm muscles all on show, “oh yeah what is it then?”

“Guess.” You teased, stretching the word out. Bakugo finally faced you, he saw how your hair framed your face, your eyes looked tired, but you seemed more awake than you had when you had knocked on his door.

“Just tell me, shitty woman.” You pouted at the man.

“You’re no fun, I can create sparks from my fingertips, I know it’s lame, it’s why I’m at university.” Bakugo looked at you, you expected laughing to come from him, you had heard him call most people extras and those without quirks had been mocked by many people. You expected the same at your lame quirk.

“Can you show me?” He wasn’t acting the same, you ignored his calmness, putting your hand from under the cover. You rubbed your fingers together, a spark coming from each finger, it was like a firework sparkler and was painful to touch. But the application of it was never pro hero material.

His hand moved closer to it, “I would…” He did anyway, his finger touching the top, he quickly moved it away after feeling it for less than a second.

“Oww, Y/n what the fuck? It stings.” You laugh, making the sparks go away, grabbing his hand your breath cool air on it. He hadn’t expected this action, feeling your breath on his fingertips, made his ears go red.

“It’s okay now.” He pulled away, not looking at you.

You didn’t say anything, nobody said anything, you could hear the clock tick away, the minutes going past. Maybe Bakugo had gone to sleep, but as you turned back, he had been fixated on the ceiling. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He spoke with frustration on his tongue.

“Oh, I don’t know you seemed out of it.” You spoke turning away from him, you could feel his legs move closer to your own, you didn’t dare think of the actions you wanted him to do to you. Inside trying to think of other stuff.

Bakugo instead broke the silence, “your quirk is decent.” It was some sort of compliment and you would take it.

“Really?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” You laugh at the boy, his own mouth twitched upwards. “At UA, there was a kid who made purple balls from his head, so you’re already one hundred times better than him.”

You supress a laugh at someone having a more useless quirk than you, “was he at least hero type.”

“He was just some extra, but he was below four foot and a pussy.” You couldn’t suppress it any longer, a laugh wavering through the room. “And a perv, he loved looking up girls skirts.”

“For some extra, you did pay attention to him.”

“When you have friends that I have, you hear too much unnecessary information.” You smile turning to face him again.

You thought of the heroes who he worked with, who came intro his apartment, they seemed like nice people to be friends with. “So what you don’t pay attention to your friends?”

“I pay attention to important people.” He turned back to face you, both of you under the covers but Bakugo’s hand had moved on top of the duvet, right on top of your body. You didn’t question the action instead questioning him.

“And who’s important to the great Katsuki Bakugo.” You gave a gleeful look waiting for a response.

He thought it out, before finding the confidence to speak, “you.”

You were dumbfounded, your eyes widening waiting for more context, “me?”

“You study (subject area), you and your roommate go to yoga every Friday night, you babysit who I assume is your nephew once a month, you like drinking coffee on the balcony and you always seem to have cooking magazines in your hand.” You were shocked at how much he had remembered and seen from you.

“You noticed.” You were calm on the outside but freaking the fuck out at how much he acknowledged about you, you had spoke about your studies, and what you normally did when you passed by him, but you never expected him to remember.

“How could I forgot your interests.” You smiled looking down before he spoke again, “oh yeah, and you have a massive crush on me.”

Your cheeks reddened, were you that obvious, “w…what?”

“Y/n, I know when girls have crushes on me, I’m surprised in the months I’ve know you; you have brought back one guy and he was the polar opposite of me.” You remembered the guy you had brought back to have sex with, he was the opposite of Bakugo, from his appearance to personality. “Was he able to fuck you good at least?”

A cocky smirk was placed on the blond’s face, his red eyes were filled with a knowing look, you shook your head feeling his hand press harder on the covers, feeling how his hand rubbed back and forth on your leg from on top. “That’s what I thought, I bet you didn’t even cum.”

“I didn’t.” You blurted out.

“You’re lucky you’re better than the other extra’s, you actually have a chance of getting with me.” You looked at him, his other hand moving towards your face.

“Just getting with you?” You hesitantly spoke, your hand meeting his to stop him.

He realised how he had phrased it and quickly rephrased it, “not just to fuck Y/n, I’m not a man whore who does one-night stands.”

“So you’d want to go on a d…date?” You question, pulling his hand towards your cheek.

“Your words not mine.” He spoke defensively, you smirked wanting to close the gap but being scared to make the first move.

He noticed your eyes move down towards his mouth before he closed the gap. The fast pace of the kiss made you more turned on for him, his hands on your cheeks bringing your closer to his face. You had never been kissed like this before, never felt this thrill inside of you and you craved more. His hand moved to your thighs, making you move on top of him, before you sat on top of his exposed chest, your lips still attached to him.

His hands on your sides bringing you closer under the covers as your hands went to his face, making the kiss’ pace fasten. You moaned his name, an instant turn on at the sound of hearing his first name, he had often seen you reading outside on the balcony, he admired how peaceful you got.

But every day when he saw how calm you looked, he fell more and more in love with his neighbour. He watched how you went through the motions every time you read a new book, it was like you were in your own fantasy and he loved it.

His grip on your sides moved to your ass, he squeezed it, making you moan again, this time allowing his tongue access inside your mouth. You loved the feeling, loved his tongue with your own, he loved how you sat on his perfectly, the way one of your hands had moved to his bare chest, glossing over each muscle. As you both parted, he bit at your bottom lip, tugging to make one last moan come from your mouth.

The sound making his ears tingle in enjoyment before he flipped you over. He craved you but was always going to ask before he moved onto other things. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.” He spoke his mouth on your stomach moving upwards, he was a predator and you his prey and he wanted to devour you.

“I want to wait.” You spoke breathlessly.

He nodded, “I can still kiss you right?” He stopped kissing right underneath your bra, his hand having lifted your shirt up.

“Yes Bakugo.” You smiled feeling his mouth latch upwards, past your bra and onto your neck. Sucking the spot, his hand on your side as he continued to nibble and bite on your collar.

“It’s Katsuki, baby girl.” The single word sent your insides into to turmoil. A purple bruise formed on your neck, before he captured your lips his own. Your legs wrapped around his back, as you brought your arms round his neck, wanting to limit the gap between the two of you.

“Baby…” You trailed off speaking through the kiss, it was too much excitement as his kiss left you a sloppy mess, you felt like putty in his hands. He let go letting you breath, before lying on his back.

“Come ‘ere.” He grabbed your waist, bringing you closer to his body. “We can finish this after our date tomorrow.”

“Is that a promise.” You smiled boldly, his face going into the crook of your now bare back, his arms around your exposed stomach and lips kissing your shoulder.

He went to your ear, licking the back of your ear before nibbling at the earlobe, “I’ll show you what you’ve been missing out on, and we’ll make your roommate hear it all.”

You smiled in agreement; his arms wrapped around your body. You had not expected this to happen, you had thought you were doomed to be alone, but in the angry boys defence, you never even thought he acknowledged you. But as you laid hearing his soft snores in your ear, you gleamed at how you had got something you had been craving for months now.

bonus scene 

You woke up the sound of Bakugo in his kitchen, finding his discarded shirt, you wore it, it was a lot bigger than you, but you hoped Bakugo liked it. You walked into the kitchen, a plate of pancakes on the table. “I mad…” He turned around seeing your cute little face in his shirt. “You really want me to bend you over right now.”

You giggled walking up to him, he grabbed your waist planting a soft kiss on you mouth. It was a lot calmer than last nights, but still had the same love in it. You heard his front door open, but Bakugo’s grasp on your was still tight, you squealed not wanting to be seen, instead Bakugo flipped you around, his body pressed onto your back and his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Oi Bakugo, did you forget we were meeting at the…” He trailed off seeing both of you. “Isn’t that your attractive neighbour.”

Your face reddened, “I said you could use my spare key in emergencies.” The door was still wide open, and you knew Bakugo’s shouting would raise some attention.

“I thought you died.” Kirishima spoke. “I’m Eijiro Kirishima, you’re the neighbour, we’ve all had to hear so much about.”

You smiled at the fact Bakugo spoke about you, it melted your heart. “I’m Y/n Y/l/n.” You smiled, Bakugo’s grip loosening as you went to shake Kirishima’s hand.

“Nice to meet you.” He smiled out.

“What the fuck is all the noise.” You saw the door of your apartment open, you looked at your roommate who looked tired and her hair dishevelled. “Y/n what the fuck are you doing in there?” she looked between Bakugo and you, the way his arm was placed around your waist.

“You didn’t, even after everything I said.” She spoke a loud. “Tell me everything.”

She grabbed your hand, dragging you out. “I’ll see you tonight.” You shouted at Bakugo who watched you walk away.

“Ooo pancakes.” You heard Kirishima gleam out, Bakugo watched you get dragged away. A smile at the fact he had finally gotten what he wanted.

proceed to part two here 

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