#I always liked how she wrote about kids in difficult situations because I related to some of these kids

[bananahkim]

I loved reading Jacqueline Wilson’s books when I was a kid and now I’m reading them!!

[pennyserenade]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well!! I’m not sure you’d like followers to respond to/ interact with your posts w your thoughts in the tags but I just wanted to say that I totally agree w your thoughts on Coryo and Sejanus LOL. Im v surprised (tho I guess I shouldn’t be given how old I am at this point + the no. of fandoms I’ve been in) that people can read them so differently from the novel. Coryo is an unreliable narrator and that makes it kind of fun to read because his pov shouldn’t always be taken as the truth. In fact I think it’s fun to read how differently his peers view him/ his r/s w other people vs what he himself perceives. Sejanus is such a nice, sweet boy and it’s kinda sad that other people don’t read him that way just because the book is filtered through coryo’s thoughts haha. He’s kind and dares to stand up for what he believes in… I think the saddest thing abt his story is that he was genuinely trying to help others directly but unfortunately the people he spoke to weren’t the most honest/ dependable (I don’t think the stuff with the rebels would have gone down well) and he also trusted Coryo (I don’t blame him cause Coryo was the only “nice” person in the Capitol) 😭 I suppose that’s also how difficult it is to deal w people sometimes IRL (in extreme situations). Anyway ya just wanted to share my thoughts :x feel free to ignore if this isn’t something you’re ok with!!

hi nonie! i'm absolutely okay with followers interacting with my tags and posts/coming to talk about this stuff with me! as you can probably tell i've got a lot to say about this stuff - i'm just a chronic in the tag poster lol.

because suzanne collins wrote the ballad of songbirds and snakes in a third person point of view, i think that readers have taken to assuming that what they're getting is an unbiased narrator, when in fact we are still very much getting a biased point of view from coriolanus. sure, we are distanced from his thoughts--not exactly seeing things through his eyes as we did with katniss--but that doesn't mean we don't have access to him and that his thoughts aren't distorting what we are seeing. i've thought a lot about the reasons suzanne collins might've chosen to use third person pov when she used a first person pov for the rest of the novels, and i don't think there was one definite reason. some of the brilliance of suzanne collins' writing lies in the fact that you do have derive these meanings for yourself at times. personally, i like to think that she chose to use third person pov because this story, while very much coriolanus-centric, belonged to characters like sejanus plinth and lucy gray, too.

the fact that this book came out during the trump's presidency isn't at all lost on me. i think what suzanne collins was saying was: look how badly this system failed this once privileged white boy. for all intents and purposes this should make him angry, and here are these district kids who have suffered just as he has. he can relate more to them than he can to any of his capital peers. he knows what it is to hunger and suffer and fight for your life every day, to be made to perform. when coriolanus turns his back on sejanus plinth and lucy gray baird, it is so tragic because he was meant to side with them and yet at the end of the day he turned his back on them because he wanted to be with 'his people.' he upheld this system that had so failed him because he thought people like lucy gray and sejanus plinth were primitive and less than because that's the mindless shit he had been fed his entire life. this is exactly what happened during that election. i've seen countless white people, who are every bit as poor and destitute as the immigrants that seek to come to this country for help -- if not more -- turn their back on them and support trump. even the poorest of whites think they are better than the richest of latinos or black people because this what their systems teach them, and it makes them feel good to think that.

i think that's why sejanus was district 2 turned capital. i believe that this was commentary on how, no matter how far poc and/or immigrants come, these white people will always view them as less than and that the system will never be forgiving of them. i do genuinely believe that coriolanus thought that sejanus' parents would save him in the end, and the fact that they couldn't was so shocking because he had, up until that point, seen the ways wealth had benefited plinth. he could not conceptualize a world where wealth wouldn't get a person what they wanted because he did not know what it was to be district. they did not see sejanus plinth, heir to the plinth fortune. they saw a district rat, a nameless, faceless traitor to kill. it is no surprise that coriolanus snow climbed to the top on the back of sejanus plinth tragic ending, because that's simply what happens every day.

i do understand and don't absolutely hate the conversations people have surrounding sejanus' privilege and what he chose to do with it/ what he chose not to do, but i think to consider sejanus an annoying, selfish character is erroneous. he was a boy who knew that this system would never favor him and was trying his best to envision a world where it might, and yes he did make stupid rash decisions, but at the end of the day what killed him was coriolanus snow and snow's desire for power. sejanus plinth was not stupid for trusting coriolanus snow, either; coriolanus snow was evil for betraying the boy's trust for his own self-serving agenda.

it is hard to live in a world like this. even as a white woman with a mexican father, i have have had to experience the kind of things sejanus did with people talking poorly about him and his family behind his back, and openly to his face. i am not accepted by either side and never will be, just as he wasn't. i will say i do experience immense privilege because of the color of my skin, and i won't ever pretend that i don't know that, but that's what i'm talking about: no matter how much i look like them, and act like them, i will always be a mexican's daughter and i am happy about that fact. i am mexican as much as i am white but it doesn't make the fight i have to struggle because of it any more fun.

[fae-morrigan]

Hi! I’ve seen your headcanon of jayjon having a bio daughter and I wanted to ask about your thought process on that? Like how would they go about bringing that up (having one biologically)? And then how they might react to finding out they are pregnant? Honestly, I’m just very interested in hearing more about the daughter you have for them if you’re interested in talking about her more

Hi!!! so glad someone asked me about this I was literally just thinking about it!!!

I think originally my thought process was: The gang and I were discussing fankids. And I made one because I am unable to stop myself from making OCs related to characters I like. And then all the other stuff around that came after. Under the cut for discussions of trans pregnancy, which can be rough for some trans people (including me sometimes!):

I think the conversation is a bit of a difficult one for the two of them. Jon doesn't want to pressure Jay into anything, and Jay has complicated feelings on the subject (as most transmascs do like myself heyo), but they both want a kid. I think its a lot of deliberating on whether or not the choice to have a bio kid is right for them as people, and it probably comes up after someone else in their circle has a kid (Maybe its a discussion prompted by Lizzie being adopted by Diana and that whole situation). Its not a decision they come to quickly, they go back and forth on the pros and cons for years. Its something they decide eventually after Jay does a lot of thinking on it. They both want to be dads, and I think Jay kind of gets to the point where he realizes he's comfortable enough with himself to do it. Its a matter of being able to choose for his own body, which hasn't always been a privilege Jay had access to (as a victim of medical torture and all). Finding out is a different story. I think it maybe happens while Jon is off world so Jay is VERY stressed waiting for him to come back. Nat and Lois are some of the first people to know because Jay's freaking out so hard. The two of them share a lot of the uncertainties that Clark and Lois did: What if something goes wrong? Especially with Jay, who's got his phasing powers? Its probably a very difficult experience physically and mentally on the both of them (Jay especially), something they are like "Alright we're only doing this one time."

I've been calling her Dahlia. I wrote a fic about this once, I think they name her after the first flower Jon saw upon escaping Ultraman on Earth-3. A symbol of hope and survival. Much like her fathers before her, she is a WILD kid. Develops her powers early, likes to bite strangers, very Muffin from Bluey energy. Jon gets Lizzie to babysit not as a valuable lesson but as REVENGE.

They're very careful with her. Neither wants to repeat their parents mistakes, and they try and instill as much confidence in her as they possibly can. She takes it to heart- I think she ends up becoming a hero like they did, but not because she felt she had to, but because she wanted to. Its very bittersweet for Jay and Jon.

All of their family are super involved. Damian especially resolves to be the greatest Uncle ever (he and Osul are in constant competition over this). With Sara gone, Jay basically doesn't have anyone left to our knowledge, so I think passing on his culture to her is also a very sad but sweet affair to him.

[meichenxi]

tldr; autistic parents are fantastic and fuck you if you think otherwise, signed, a disaster queer adhd daughter

So on the back of a lot of negative stuff I've been coming across recently I wanted to take a moment and talk about my dad. He is autistic and chronically ill, and has been unable to hold a job down since I was eight or nine. He only ever responds with brutal, crushing honesty when I ask him how he is (and as he's chronically ill, the answers are rarely fun); he doesn't have any close relationships with any other adults and is so afraid of crowds he sprints through them leaving the children to run after him as best they can; he very rarely told me I was doing well and never seemed to understand my point of view, much less my mother's; he would never talk about anything other than bloody knitting, rocks or conservation, he could eat approximately 0.5 foods but also had no job to buy anything better; he frequently goes around naked because 'it feels nice' causing me to SCREAM -

He's my favourite person in the entire world.

Growing up, there were so many things he taught me. His special interests were geology, nature conservation, wildlife gardening, taiji, mythology and knitting. When we were kids, we went out for long walks for miles and miles in the drizzling British countryside - when I was young, my brother and mum would lag behind and me and my dad would skip ahead, jumping over the rocks, and he'd tell with great excitement why THAT twisty line of quartz was actually less exciting that this outcrop here; he'd teach me about the Salmon of Wisdom and the folk that live over the sea and never grow old, and impress on me with utter seriousness how I must never tell a stranger my name unless they tell me theirs first; he'd sit down with me and draw patterns for a jumper he was thinking of in the mud with a stick, and then we'd have a sword fight. I never understood half of the things he told me, but listened with wonder, because he was my dad, and he knew everything.

When I was a little older, we made up stories that lasted for hours, and memorised poetry together from Lord of the Rings (because THERE our interests collided with galactic force) and he'd do all of the voices just perfectly. We went one whole summer just quoting LOTR to each other, and it was our little secret: Mum might hear 'Yes,' but only I would hear what came after: 'Yes,' said Frodo, or 'Yes!' cried Boromir. And when I told him my story about a woman who lived in a volcano he listened quietly and told me that that wasn't how volcanoes worked, but that he could help me write it better.

Everybody's autism is different. For my dad, it rendered him completely incapable to work and was paralysing in social situations, but when it was just me and him, he told the most wonderful stories. I wanted to be a geologist just listening to his voice, and then a writer, and then finally someone who understood the land like he did and the sea.

And he made me feel normal. He made me feel heard. With my mum, as much as I loved her, I would get vague noises of assent as she struggled to look after everybody in this damn house, or irritable 'Would you just be quiet for ONE second?' I was a talented kid, and everybody praised me at pretty much everything: but the only person who would consider anything I wrote like it was an adult's writing, with seriousness and criticism, was my dad. He didn't tell me I did well often. Instead he would take my picture, or my writing, and look at it with great seriousness, and ask me WHY the Queen was so intent on kidnapping beautiful princesses in the first place. I could trust him to tell me whether I did something well or not, because he never, never lied. Not to please me, and not to please anyone. It cost him his marriage and his job, but it was a rock of stability in my life : my mother was volatile, frequently furious enough to resort to violence, and she lied and laughed and told us what we wanted to hear, but he was always reliable. If he was angry, we knew.

When I spoke for hours about my languages, he listened, nodded, and then spoke about his plants. It was a perfect give and take because I didn't expect him to care about my languages, and he never expected me to care about his plants. We just cared about the other.

And when I didn't make any friends and couldn't interact with the other children without despair he was always there with a silent offer of a bike ride, or catch in the park. He was always the fittest person I knew, despite his illness. He had lots of grand ideas - once he climbed the tree outside our house and tried to rig up a platform fifteen metres above the ground. After three days he was inconsolable. He wouldn't speak, he just sat there. But a few days later he started drawing up plans and attacked it again, and this time it worked.

My dad is great for a lot of reasons, and difficult for a lot of reasons too. Some of these are just him - but some are specifically related to his autism, and I think it's important that we talk about that too, especially in the context of parenthood. Because we see a lot of positivity about young autistic adults and kids, but older adults are just as valuable and just as in need of support and recognition, particularly because they may have gone through so much. My dad was made to stand in a bucket of urine for three days as a kid to 'pull himself together'. Spoilers: it didn't work.

And I'm not autistic myself, but many of my ADHD behaviours are so much easier around him because he just. gets it. If I don't like a certain food because of the texture, he never buys it again - I don't need to explain myself. We leave all social events early, which is wonderful because he is very stressed and I am either so high on adrenaline I'm in danger of injuring myself or exhausted to the point of not being able to talk. We run through crowds together because he hates crowds and I like the chance to stretch my legs. We don't touch or keep in contact very much, because neither of us see the point or like small talk, and I'm terrible at messaging anyone, but I know (and he knows) as soon as we need each other we're there. We do handstands on the beach together and he points out plants on the way back along with their Latin names. He never bothers me about talking to my friends or stopping clowning and watching my stupid shows or spending ten hours a day on Chinese or Tolkien. He never mocks me for needing space and time after anything. We lie on the concrete together because it's so damned warm and nice and adgshhhhh. We spend hours playing taiji and doing push hands in the kitchen, and our 'love language', if you will, is him trying to throw me to the ground. We both get 100% of our emotional intelligence from books, and in any arguments can use this to great effect. I talk at him for an hour, and then he talks at me for an hour. I know so much about fucking willow trees.

So people who say that autistic parents are cold and incapable of care? My dad was the most sincere, honest and helpful parent a child could have ever asked for. Things were difficult, but it helped me understand that parents too have needs, and that adults are all just grown up kids trying their best. I didn't know why he was different as a kid, and I didn't much care - I just wanted to be a geologist like my daddy.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, mbti notes, how are you? I am writing because I really need your help. I am an INFJ and I am going through a difficult process in my new job.

I always wanted to be a teacher and be part of a good school, be part of children's learning process. Be there for them. And I got the job as a Teacher Assistant in a really good bilingual school (my native language is Spanish). Their mission says their approach is being flexible, respect different cultures and excellence. I really got interested in that.

However, it has been 3 days here and I have found many things that left me having mixed feelings about my job. I know these mixed feelings are related to the fact I have Borderline as well, so I'm in a constant idealization/devaluation process about everything in my life.

So, first thing: I believe if you are a teacher, specially a teacher of 1st grade at school, you have the responsibility of helping the children to learn, to listen to them, to empathize with them, to understand their concerns, etc. As being a child determines a lot about your mental health as an adult.

However, I have found that one teacher uses shame and guilt to make the children understand they are doing things wrong. She focuses too much on telling them what they are doing wrong and doesn't really tell me them what they're doing right. She doesn't try to explain the reasons behind her orders, she just tells them what to do and expect them to do it right away, if they dont then she shames on them. I find it... Weird. Wrong. Uncomfortable because I don't agree those are good methods for them to learn. You can see in their faces they don't feel right.

Also, another teacher I have been assisting. She told me she has a lot of anxiety and avoids confrontation. I understand that. However, today the kids were playing soccer and when they came back, one of them was crying and saying things like "you NEVER want to pass me the ball", "you don't want to play with me", and kids instead of empathizing with him, told him "it's just that you need to be faster, you're too slow, u need to practice a lot" and he cried more and said "I am going as fast as I can. I am always practicing!". He seemed devastated because of the rejection of his friends.

I was handling the situation, asking them what happened, and then the teacher came. I was still talking to them, trying to make them understand that it is not only about competition but having fun with your friends and that he wasn't feeling ok and needed an apology. But the teacher interrupted saying "done!! I don't want to hear anything else from that class! It's english class now! Everyone sit!"

Everyone sit but then I approached the kid crying and was comforting him and telling him next week he was going to play. His friend responded "i was slow too! You need to practice all the games to be faster!". I was going to tell him that how would he feel if the same happened to him but the teacher started interrupting abruptly once again "I don't want to hear nothing else about the subject! Let's begin with english class!".

I froze and didn't know what to do. She didn't care the kid was crying. Actually she encourage to not care about it, making others children to say "stop crying!" To the kid. He was obviously hurt and was looking for comfort from his friends. He is really sensitive and emotional. He wanted to feel included but instead they just shame on him for crying and expressing himself.

I didn't feel comfortable with that either. I felt powerless because I am nothing else but an assistant and I know things has been this way since a long time ago before I got here. I don't feel in the position to say anything to anyone. I bet they have more experience than I do teaching. But I have always been loved and respected by my students because that's what I provide to them as well. And I don't feel they care about their kids or think about how their ways are going to affect their mental health while growing. So I have mixed feelings and feel confused.

What should I do about this situation? Am I overreacting? Am I taking it too personal? Should I just ignore what they're doing and adapt to their ways? That doesn't feel right for me. Please give me some advice. Thanks you for ur help!

-------------------------

As a general point, not about this particular situation: Young and idealistic INFJs should be careful about projecting their worldview on everyone. While it's good to be a caring and respectful person, not everyone is as sensitive as you, and not everyone needs as much emotional processing as you do. Your way of teaching won't fit everyone equally well. The good thing is that kids are very resilient and able to brush off things that you might not be able to brush off. Oftentimes, they don't take things as seriously as you do, unless they have a particularly serious temperament. Don't put pressure on yourself to be the perfect teacher for every student, as perfectionism isn't a good thing to pass on to them. INFJs often have the impulse to remove all pain and suffering from their own life and, by extension, the lives of the people they care about. However, that's not always a good thing. Human beings require a certain amount of stress, challenge, and hardship to grow in life. Keep that in mind when you're dealing with students' emotions.

If you want to be a teacher in a large school system, you have to consider more than just your relationship to the students. Yes, you care about the students and they generally like you. However, you won't be able to do your job well without the full support of your superiors and colleagues. In other words, teaching is a team effort.

I understand the desire to correct the wrongs you see - it's a noble intention. However, without enough forethought, impulsive efforts to buck the system might only backfire on you and perhaps even the students. For example: You might derail your career by branding yourself as obstinate. You might sabotage another teacher's work by adding even more stress to their plate. You might make an enemy who will sabotage your work. You might make a teacher even more abusive to their students by confronting them the wrong way.

Of course, verbal/emotional abuse is unacceptable. Ideally, a good school should have practical guidelines and procedures in place for dealing with such situations, but many don't. If you determine the teacher's behavior to be abusive, by all means, do something about it. What you should remember, though, is that there are many ways to address a problem. Acting out angrily or calling a person out on the spot isn't always the best way to stop their bad behavior, especially if you inadvertently humiliate them or make them defensive.

In my experience, teachers don't get into teaching because they hate kids. They want to be helpful and they want to be a good influence, but the reality of teaching doesn't always cooperate with them. It's a very stressful job and teachers are human after all. You're so supportive and empathetic of the students, which allows you to help them well. Perhaps you need to extend some of that empathy to the teachers, as part of being a good team player, if you hope to discover a way to be part of their improvement as well. What's more important to you, to punish bad behavior or to change it?

School is often full of high pressure situations, which means that stress often distorts people's reactions. There are a lot of students to mind and not much time to attend to each and every student's needs in the exact moment they need help. As an assistant, you don't have the power to change everything or help every student all the time. All you can do is choose the most appropriate time and place for helping students wisely. Before you jump into action, reflect on the best course of action. Mitigate unintended consequences and ensure that you'll get the outcome you want. I agree with you that the education system is full of problems, but the problems are very complicated, which means that the solutions will not be as simple as you first believe. You will realize this with more experience.

[potatoqueensays]

Okay okay so I may have wrote an Irondad drabble. It's kinda like a character study or something, idk I just came up with it and was like yeah let's do this. I hope you enjoy!!

_______________________________________________

My World Isn't Perfect Without You In It

3,004 words

It started as a simple feeling.

Tony was in his lab with Peter on one of their lab days, as they always were on Fridays. He would work with the kid after Happy picked him up and they would work on whatever their genius hearts desired.

Tony didn't really find himself looking at Peter with pride until Pepper pointed it out to him, she would comment on how he seemed like a Dad all of a sudden with the kid hanging around more.

He would always deny it with that Stark charm of his of course, deflecting was one of his main traits when it came to his feelings.

"Pep, motherhood may look nice on you, but fatherhood isn't kind for me you know." Flattery was said to get you places, but Pepper was known for never taking his BS.

"Tony, I can tell the way you look at him, you love him, whether you want to face it or not." She grinned at him, she was always right, even if he didn't like to admit it sometimes.

He thought back to her words frequently, picking up on how his heart swelled with pride and warmth when Peter looked at him for approval, or whenever he would get a question right, or even when Tony himself was having a bit of trouble with an equation, and he was Tony Stark, he could do anything!

The kid wormed his way into Tony's cold heart, thawed down his icy walls with a flamethrower and melted his heart into a puddle of goo.

The billionaire could never understand how he became so fond of the kid so quickly, but he always knew the reasons he liked the kid. He was so selfless, kind, and brave. A true hero at heart and much better than Tony even thought he would be, he was everything Tony wasn't and more.

He wasn't even jealous at the kid when he would steal the light, his own best friend becoming fond of the kid and mentioning how he was practically his kid.

"Platypus, he's not a Stark, in any way shape or form."

"He may not be blood related to you Tones, but he's your son in everything else, he has your brains even, maybe even smarter than you!" Rhodey teased.

"I'm wounded, Honey-Bear." He placed a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"Oh hush, you know it better than anyone else."

And if he did, he would never say it up front.

He was proud of the kid even in his worst moments. He would try to console the kid when he came to him for help when close to a panic attack (which broke the hero's heart, the poor kid didn't deserve any of the unfair treatment the world had, it was too cruel for such a pure hearted kid like Peter.) or when he had a nightmare when staying over at the tower.

Tony wasn't always the most physically affectionate, he would give pats on the shoulder or back, arms around shoulders to keep the person close, and side hugs, even if he didn't do full ones.

When it came to Peter however, he slowly broke out of his shell of that. He kept a hand gently over the back of the boy's neck, sometimes playing with the curls that rested there, occasionally giving a reassuring squeeze when Peter seemed a bit nervous or highstrung. It always got rid of a little of his own stress when the boy would lean into his touch, side hugs and pats on the shoulder were gladly accepted.

Even the occasional hand holding when the kid was kept in the med-bay after a stressful mission or patrol, he would keep his hand over the boy's pulse point to reassure himself that the kid was alive and well. He would keep one hand over the kid's wrist while he worked on his suit, improving how he could make sure the current problems never happened again, whether it be even a scratch or a stab wound, he wouldn't let Peter get hurt on his watch.

He would always keep an eye on the kid, letting Peter know that he could call whenever he felt he needed something, maybe even just to chat, the billionaire found himself even endeared to the chatter that came from the spider-kid, it was a nice comforting constant to fill the silence in his life, even if he worked in his suits with FRIDAY blasting AC/DC, he seemed to have a better preference for the chatty kid. He would invest himself in listening to what happened in his day, to what him and Ted did over the week, and even hearing about how Aunt May burned water when trying to boil pasta.

He was fond of the kid, the feeling that was so simple at the start but steadily increasing over time and getting fiercer and stronger with each visit to the med-bay or after every movie night that eventually had the boy cuddled up to him. It grew into a surge of protectiveness, a very parental feeling and yearning to make his the kid happy.

So yeah, he was fond.

He was in too deep, as he wanted the kid by his side for as long as he could have him in fact, he begun to realize that yeah, he liked the kid and was fond of his company, but even more so.

He loved the kid.

He loved Peter.

Tony had a crisis when he was having a revelation about his feelings towards the younger hero.

He felt parental, even if he kept denying the fact when everybody knew how he felt before himself. Even if he tried to hide his grin whenever the kid's smile lit up a room, even if he kept rolling his eyes affectionately and ruffled the kid's curls when they bantered.

So yeah, he loved him.

Loving was dangerous however, loving got you in difficult situations where you don't think and sometimes your actions get out of hand with how much you care.

He cared about Peter with his iron heart, he cared about the boy so loudly in fact it would almost creep those three words up into his throat when he loved too fiercely with kid.

That's how he found himself in a very dangerous situation.

Peter was hurt, badly.

And it was his fault because he loved him, he was someone he got too close to and now it was his fault.

He stayed too close even when he should have remained at arms length, but the kid had to get close.

The bullet was supposed to be for Tony, not Peter, but the kid saw it coming from a mile away and pushed the iron clad man away from the aim of fire and taking the punishment with all the confidence of a self sacrificing idiot.

Peter was laid up in the med-bay as Cho and her helpers ran around to try and nurse the kid, while Tony was trapped in his own mind with how much he let Peter get too close, how he didn't notice that the kid obviously loved him too, so much in fact that he took a bullet for him, when Tony specifically told him not to if something like that happened.

He couldn't find it in his heart to be angry at the kid, no matter how much he wanted to be, he wanted to scream and shout and punch the walls, blame the universe for giving him someone so precious and kind that he would ruin completely, to rip apart a kid's life. It was his fault that the kid was by his side now, wanting to be an avenger because he took him to Germany just to win a fight against his own team, his own family. Or what he thought was.

He was pushed out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder, Rhodey's comforting voice making it's way to the man in armor, ridding him of the terrible thoughts and guilt that went through him.

"He'll be okay Tones, he's tough, he can handle it, he always does." Rhodey reasoned, trying to take Tony down from his tower of guilt.

"But he shouldn't have to."

"He did what he did because he cares, I know you would do it in a heartbeat if he was the one about to be shot."

"Because that's how it should be, I'm the adult, and he's the kid. He's just a child, Rhodey, a child." The older hero sighed, his face visible as his helmet was open, anyone could easily see his terror and distress. He tried to tear his eyes away from the frittering med staff, but he could only think of Peter. His Peter. His self sacrificing kid that he loved too much, and now it had gotten him hurt, the panic gripping his chest like a vice and not letting go as he feared what worse could have happened to his kid.

"Listen, he'll be okay, I know it." There was no room for argument with his tone, even if Tony wanted to, he needed to be at Peter's bedside, he was always there no matter what, even if he was mad or trying not to think about his guilt, the boy's presence always seemed to calm him.

The hero sighed softly, nodding even though panic rested comfortably in his chest.

He had cleaned himself up after the fight, after seeing Peter taken away from his side as he bled out and was in pain, even under the mask for the spider-suit, Tony could tell by the way the white eyes of the mask were pinched. It haunted him how he thought of Peter's bambi eyes shining with unshed tears and pain under that mask, those bright doe eyes filled with innocence and brilliance.

He remained stationary by the kid's bedside as he was finally left alone in his room, his accelerated healing luckily used in this moment. Helen had said the bullet hadn't hit any major arteries or organs, so that was a plus, but it still was agonizing to think of the boy in any sort of pain, or to even think of Peter leaving his side. If that happened, he didn't know what he would do. If he didn't have Pepper he would certainly lose it.

He just loved the kid too much to let him suffer.

He had his Stark-Pad resting in his lap as he held onto Peter's wrist, the feeling of the pulse underneath his fingers much more reassuring than the beep of the heart monitor. He kept his eyes focusing back between the notes he had down for what he could improve on Peter's suit and on the kid himself, eyeing his chest to check his breathing and checking the face of the boy in case he was going to wake up anytime soon.

He looked at the features of the boy, taking in the curls swept over his forehead, they were always gelled back no matter how much Tony joked about it. He never had a problem with it, but it was always pleasing to know how the boy liked a hand combing through his curls, whether it be his aunt to Tony himself. His face always bright with a smile that reached to his chocolate doe eyes, shining with talent and excitement for everything and anything. From Star Wars to how the Iron Man suit worked, he was always so smart and inquisitive. The boy was a ray of sunshine in Tony's bleak life. Yes he had Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy, he loved them all to bits and they made his life so much better, but loving Peter was different. He was his son in everything but blood, and that didn't even matter. He was a bright light that warmed up even the coldest of hearts, thawing right through to make anyone wrapped around his little finger.

Tony loved him.

He realized he was looking too much at the boy and swiftly changed to reading the schematics of the spider-suit, although he didn't read far when he heard a small sigh coming from in front of him. He looked up to see those bright and beautiful doe eyes looking up at him with that same amount of adoration that made Tony's heart want to burst, he didn't deserve the kid in the slightest, but here he was with him.

"Good afternoon, bambi." He said softly, aware of how Peter was sensitive his surroundings after waking up in the med-bay, the lights always at a dimmer power than normal to accustom to the spider-boy.

"Hi Mstr' Strk'." The boy slurred, still tired from just waking up and having pain reducing drugs in his system. The man carefully let go of the boy's wrist to hit the button that alerted Helen that her patient was awake, he almost missed the small whine that came from the younger hero at the loss of contact, it cut right through his heart.

"I'm here kiddo, don't worry." He held onto the boy's wrist again, fingers resting over the pulse point with quick muscle memory at this point.

"M' srry.." The boy mumbled, relaxing slightly as he registered the touch again, wide bambi eyes drooping sightly in relief.

"What are you sorry for, kiddo?" The man wondered. Peter always apologized, whether it be for something as small as dropping a pencil or bumping into a dog. He had such good manners.

"Ar' you mad a' me?" The boy's speech improving only a little as his enhanced metabolism burned through the painkillers.

Ah, so that explains it, he was worried the billionaire was mad at him. He gently rubbed a circle into the boy's wrist with his hand, comforting the kid into relaxing and not stressing when he needed to heal and get rest.

The man softly sighed and put the Stark-Pad away on the side table, scooting a little closer to the cot as he could look the kid better in the eye.

"No bud, I'm not mad, anymore. But you worried me a lot, I have a heart condition you know." He moved his free hand to go over the boy's front curls that hung in front of his eyes, getting to see those baby browns even better as the kid leaned into the soft touch.

"I knda' had to, you'd do it too.." The kid had a point, as it was similar to Rhodey's, even Pepper would say something like that, and she was always right, so that had to mean that Rhodey and Peter were too.

"That's different Pete. You're a kid and I'm an adult, we seniors kinda have to take the bullet. Figuratively and literally." He chided gently.

The boy let out a small huff of frustrated air, which was absolutely adorable as his nose scrunched up and he eyed Tony with what was presumably a glare that equalled the look of a puppy.

"But we gotta prtect' each other, otherwise you'd get hurt much worse." He brought up matter of factly.

"Well, maybe that's a risk I gotta take for spider-babies like you." Tony provided ruefully.

"Nt' a baby."

Well you're my spider-baby. He almost wanted to say.

Luckily he was saved by Helen Cho coming in to do a small checkup on Peter, looking over his vitals and smiling softly at her patient.

"Hello Peter, how are you feeling? Any pain?" She eyed over her clipboard presumably to check over his vitals and wounds again, being very perceptive to how Peter responded.

"M' fine, jus' a little sore." At that, Helen nodded and worked on administering a little medicine into his system, making the boy sigh gratefully at that. Both Cho and Tony knew when Peter said he felt a little pain it meant more than he played it as.

"I'll be back in a couple more hours, get some rest okay?"

Peter nodded at that and watched as she left the room, now alone with his father figure mentor once again. He looked over at Tony with a dopey smile, looking very tired now, he was bound to fall asleep. He sightly tugged on the man's arm, they both know that was to invite the man to cuddle, which they never brought up out loud, but they both knew the other enjoyed it greatly. It helped assure Tony that Peter was safe and there, while Peter got comfort and protection.

The man sighted good-naturedly as he stood up to get beside Peter.

"Alright alright, scoot over, this isn't gonna be nice on my back later." He joked. Although he said that, he would gladly take a little pain if it meant having Peter safe in his arms.

The boy obeyed and scooted over quickly, allowing Tony to climb in and get comfy, then let out a small "oof" as the kid rested his head on his shoulder and clung like a koala.

The man chuckled, a hand coming up to cradle the boy's head and play with his curls, knowing that helped Peter sleep much faster.

"Okay cuddle-bug, you heard her. It's nap time."

"Nt' a bug." Peter mumbled, blissfully unaware how Tony's heart practically melted with how easy Peter fit in his arms. He was so small. They were like two pieces of a puzzle, father and son, mentor and mentee. They belonged together and they wouldn't have it any other way as they needed the other.

"Right, arachnid." Tony corrected himself, hiding his grin in the kid's hair as Peter let out a pleased hum, slowly drifting off to sleep.

"Night." Peter mumbled, slowly lulled to sleep by the soft rumbling of the older hero's chest as he responded in kind.

"Goodnight bambino." He mumbled, pressing a small kiss to the boy's hair as they soon both drifted off to sleep.

Yeah, Tony loved him, and he needed him in his life like Peter needed him.

Thank you to @polaroid15 for reading this before hand and your lovely comments!! 🥺♥️

[funkymbtifiction]

thanks a lot for your quick and really interesting response! Yeah, my sister is a funny one to figure out, haha. Her instinct to use thoughtful logic in every situation and be rational is so strong that I’d call her an ITJ if she wasn’t so caring and compassionate. Kindness and sensitivity to others’ emotions is one of her defining traits now, although funnily this wasn’t the case when she was younger.

Hold up.

ITJs are perfectly capable of being caring/compassionate; that has nothing to do with being a feeler! They are caring and compassionate from a place of logical understanding and "fixing" things, ie, rational solutions. Growing into being more kind and sensitive sounds a lot like tert-Fi. That's the journey most of them make when they hit age 20 and realize their rigid morals aren't applicable in every situation and that they can cut people more slack.

I feel like when she was a kid/teen she was extremely judgemental, sharp-tongued and condemning of others like a 1 - and willing to take a stance with strangers even, to answer your question.

*cough* ITJ 1w2 *cough*

She once walked out of someone‘s house because they tried to pressure her to attend a ritual she felt was morally wrong, even though she knew it was socially inappropriate and annoyed a lot of people. <- Te/Fi

She once told my brother she despised him for not having good enough principles, she wrote my dad a long email calling him out for being inconsistent in his ethics, her boyfriend said she made him feel criticized all the time - she could be extremely harsh and disappointed in everyone.

Yup, core 1 and probably further evidence for ITJ.

But, as she got older, she became way more gentle, compassionate and mellow (In fact all the new friends she’s made over the last few years think she has the sweetness and humility of a 9). She told me that after her breakup with her boyfriend, she realized she needed to be less critical and consciously invested all her willpower into forcing herself to be more accepting, humble and appreciative.

1w2 for sure. She leaned into her 2 wing, and used it to grow and achieve forgiveness for others' flaws rather than just "help them" by pointing out how bad / immoral / imperfect they are.

on the positive side I’d say my sister has always been super driven to improve herself, I remember in Grade 9 she literally made a list of flaws about herself to remedy. She loves anything self improvement related so it makes typing a bit difficult because she’s quite different now from how she was 5 years ago. What are your thoughts?

I(S)TJ 1w2.

[lowkeyorloki]

How do you come up with fanfiction ideas?

Hi there :D I hope you don't mind, I put this under a cut because it got a bit long.

It honestly just depends. I assume you're talking more about multichapters than oneshots, but I'll quickly explain my oneshot process: I get some type of idea for dialogue or a scene, and then I literally come up with a scenario/fic to put the dialogue or scene in. I can't really tell you where all those ideas come from, because it's usually just a fantasy I have. A very good rule of thumb, especially with oneshots, is to write situations that you would want to be in with your character (or if you're writing for a ship, just think of what situations you wish the writers of the media had put the two characters in).

For multichapters, it's different for each fic. For example, I wrote my first multichapter She Shall Have because I noticed the very common trope of a reader being betrothed to Thor but in love with Loki. This is a huge thing within the Loki fandom. However, I never felt like the justification for the reader being engaged to Thor made sense. I began thinking of realistic reasons that Odin would arrange/allow a marriage between the reader and his oldest son, and I thought of the reader being able to wield Mjolnir. Obviously, Odin would feel threatened by this and want to keep the reader under control, so it would make sense for her to marry Thor and always be under Odin's supervision and the expectations for royalty.

Also with ssh, I was very fed up at the time by seeing Loki with all these very weak willed readers. Not only do I find it incredibly out of character for Loki to be in love with someone so meek and pliable, but I could never read the fics because I would just simply not act the way y/n does. And so when I thought of the idea of the reader being able to wield Mjolnir, I realized it was also a great opportunity to finally get an Asgardian reader out there who had a backbone and a character outside of her romance with Loki.

For my current multichapter, A Study In Suit, it's similar but also different. I got really inspired while watching a scene from a show. This nanny was putting kids to bed while the gardener was watching, and he was clearly in love with her and the way she was so good with kids. I was just so enamored by the way he looked at her that I knew I wanted to explore some type of similar situation with Loki. Obviously, that inspiration is much different from ssh.

Where it's similar is once again, I saw a trope that I really didn't like within the fandom. Professor! AUs are pretty common. And in every single one of them, it's hypersexualized and the main drive in the stories is a want to not get caught. Usually, it's a jealous girl who outs the two characters. Because I was looking for a way to make Loki a father in the fic and I was over background women being vilified in Loki fics particularly, a modern AU seemed like the answer for my wanting to make Loki a father. And honestly, professor! AUs are the only ones that I'm interested in.

I also realized that a university setting would be a great opportunity for me to, once again, write a reader who has an arc and interests outside of Loki. Being a student makes you inherently have goals and responsibilities. I also wanted to make a relatable reader, which can be difficult in an Asgard/superhero setting. A modern setting, and a school setting, is something most of us can relate to. I REALLY wanted to make realistic characters in asis, and modern settings make that a lot more simple.

Finally, with my fic The Archetype (which I think is my best work, btw) I wanted two things: a fic narrated by Loki, because I think they're sexy and also because I like Loki as a character way more than I like or care about Y/N, and second, I wanted to explore what Loki would be like if he survived his encounter with Thanos. With The Archetype, it was actually based off a oneshot that was written purely because I wanted a fic with angry sex from Loki's POV.

So basically, I get my ideas when I see a gap in the fandom that I want filled (such as my desire for more fics written in Loki's POV) or tropes that I personally dislike and want to counteract. This is actually why I started writing for Loki in the first place - I looked for fics after Ragnarok came out, and the grammar in all of them were atrocious. So I was like, "fuck it guess I have to write my own" (although if you read my old fics... the writing is good but jfc the grammar is not!).

The common thread between my inspo/ideas for both multichapters and oneshots is having a bare bones idea (like one line of dialogue or one aspect of a character that I want to expand on or take an in depth look at) and literally building a piece of writing that I can put that idea into. If my fic writing process was like drawing a person, I wouldn't start with the person itself. I'd start with maybe their shoes, and then I would draw the ground underneath the shoes. The I would draw the bench the shoes are next to, and then the tree over the bench, and then clouds behind the tree. I'd fill in all that background before I finally come back to the actual original thing I thought of.

Please please please send me another message letting me know if this helped! I curious to see what you think :')

[threadsketchier]

So I saw the prequels prior to the Originals and it always bothered me how Luke got dumped on a death planet of Tatooine considering the state of that environment and shot that when down in the previous films while Leia got a life of privilege. I was hoping Bail would argue against splitting the twins. I obviously knew why it had to go that route because it had to align and follow up with the Originals. I guess it came off that Luke wasn’t really wanted...?

I already wrote a ficlet somewhat addressing this misconception.

Also, frankly, I’m getting kind of tired of rehashing the same issue - why do people keep assuming that the Larses don’t matter and don’t have a right to be in Luke’s life just because they live on Space Australia?  Why do their feelings not count just because they’re low-to-middle-class moisture farmers who don’t live in a palace on Space Switzerland-Utopia?  Why the fuck do people assume that Luke wasn’t wanted just because the Organas have a personal preference that was obviously previously established before shit hit the fans and they wanted a daughter and Bail, as a senator and Viceroy - essentially co-leader of his planet - is a fucking rational guy who understands the necessity of making hard decisions dictated by logic over emotions?

The twins weren’t just “split up because that’s how the movies have to go,” it does make internal sense within the narrative that it was safer to hide them in vastly separate locations to prevent both of them from being discovered at the same time and thus lost together, or for their latent Force bond to make them a psychic target if they grew up together and established it, acting like a beacon for Vader and Palpatine and any minions of theirs.  It sucks, it’s painful, it has awkward consequences for them later on when Leia’s a bit too loose with her lips, but that’s why these movies have a tragic backstory.  It has to suck real hard before it gets better.

Does it seem crazy that Leia wound up raised in such a screamingly obvious position as daughter of a then-Imperial Senator and princess of a highly prominent Core world being trained to follow in her biological mother’s footsteps and become a senator herself, thus occupying a very exposed role in the Empire, right under the Emperor’s and Vader’s noses?  Yeah.  But also remember that the Superman/Clark Kent illusion can actually work in real life.  Assumption is a powerful thing.  Your average Joe Citizen would assume that someone as otherworldly as Superman, an alien with the ability to fly, strength to bench-press skyscrapers and jumbo jets, heat vision, and other amazing things, would never stoop to living as a normal, humble, inconvenienced human being.  It’s not merely the hiding behind a pair of glasses and hunching over a little with a nerdy tone and habits - it’s the entire idea that a Clark Kent could even exist in the same person of Superman.  They don’t understand that he was raised as a human and actually desires this life, and doesn’t feel the need to lock himself away permanently in his dope Fortress of Solitude and never interact with the very people he wants to save and protect.

Vader was lied to by Palpatine about the nature of Padmé’s death, but there was no disputing that she actually died.  In his crushing despair, Vader accepted with heaps of self-flagellation that his child was dead.  He didn’t even know he had two children.  In his mind, whenever he saw Leia - surely they were in each other’s circles at least at a distance before Rogue One and ANH - even if she reminded him of Padmé six ways from Sunday, he would not assume she was his daughter, because as far as he was concerned his child was dead.  The OT establishes that latent Force-sensitivity also does not automatically make two related Force-sensitives consciously aware of each other until they mutually know one another as being related and Force-sensitive, so not even torturing Leia revealed this to him.

But I’m going off on a tangent.  Let’s break this down:

Tatooine is nothing but a source of anguish for Anakin and his personal loathing for the place made it ideal as a hiding place.  And no, I’m not just haha joking about sand.  He was a slave there and buried his mother there after slaughtering an entire village of natives he knew in his heart that he shouldn’t have.  It holds nothing but misery and failure for him.

Yes, Tatooine is abso-fucking-lutely a galactic cesspit.  It’s ruled by the most vile mob boss in the galaxy, is rife with nasty wildlife that’s out to kill you, and is haunted by the troubles brought about by strife between colonizers and the native population.  It is indisputably a dangerous place.  But it wasn’t Tatooine that killed the Larses.  It was the Empire.  Just because they look like Soft Folks™ doesn’t mean they were - Owen and Beru knew how to take care of themselves, and they certainly knew how to take care of a child in this environment.  They survived to middle age just fine, and would’ve kept going if it wasn’t for those fucking stormtroopers.  Just because they didn’t live a life of luxury also doesn’t mean they were dirt poor either.  When we meet Luke in ANH, he’s a healthy young lad who still has the privilege to fuck off with his buddies around his farm duties.  Life may be tough but it’s not squalor and deprivation for him.

But honestly, even if they WERE dirt poor, they’re still Luke’s family, and they very obviously loved him.  I almost feel like I shouldn’t have to restate it, but I will: Owen and Beru loved Shmi, and upon hearing that Anakin died and left behind a baby son, why wouldn’t they be moved and compelled to take Luke in, and why wouldn’t they deserve to have the chance to raise him in their memory?  Even though they’d be sad that Luke was orphaned, they might even see this as a blessing to be able to raise Shmi’s grandson and Anakin’s son.

As much as he bitched about chores as a teenager, Luke learned damn valuable skills growing up on a Tatooine moisture farm that, coupled with the Force, saved everybody’s asses at the Battle of Yavin, and went on to make him an ideal squadron leader.  Wealth and privilege are not always the best foundation, or at least certainly not the automatic one, for a person to learn good character either.

The Organas are human too.  Faced with a difficult choice, they decided to take this poignant opportunity to fulfill a dream they’d been deferring for some time.  Sometimes parents wish for a specific child, and that’s their prerogative (except IRL they don’t actually get to pick, they get whatever kid they gestate).  If they’d taken Luke and let Obi-Wan take Leia, we’d be having the same argument about Leia growing up on Tatooine.  There was no inequality in this decision.  Bail and Breha wanted a daughter, there was a daughter present among the twins, so they chose her.  This does not mean they valued Luke any less.  Since the twins couldn’t be raised together for their own safety, it might as well have come down to a coin toss.  Bail isn’t evil for exercising a shred of his personal emotions and desires in a situation where he otherwise knew he’d have to restrain himself.  Also, he’d be smart enough to respect the fact that both children had actual family elsewhere in the galaxy and wouldn’t think any less of the Larses just because they live on Tatooine.  The only way his decision would be careless or heinous was if he knew Luke was being taken to people who were abusive or so destitute they couldn’t even care for themselves, much less a third person, and he did nothing about it - but we know this is not that situation.

How do you feel about non-wealthy people living in harsh places here on Earth raising their children?  Would you expect all the rich people in the world to go take those children away from them and adopt them just so they could grow up “privileged” instead?  Think about how that sounds for a moment or two.

Honestly, if Bail had tried to argue about taking both twins because he felt taking Luke to his legal family on Tatooine was “cruel” or “neglectful” because of the planet’s “risky environment and poverty,” I’d hope either Obi-Wan or Yoda would have enough sense to smack him upside the head for being so thoughtless as to insult these people for being seemingly beneath him.

There is more to life than money and power/prestige, and Leia’s upbringing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  She was no pampered, air-headed royal spending her days sitting idle being hand-fed space grapes while her “poor” brother ate sand cookies.  She had to undergo intensive academic, political, and physical training from young childhood in order to prepare her to become a covert Rebel agent while she was still a teenager, as if being a child senator wasn’t already stressful and demanding enough.  Sure, she never lacked for anything, but that is an incredible amount of responsibility to saddle on someone who wasn’t even an adult yet (like her bio mother).  Luke was blessed with far more freedom and peace in his childhood than his sister.  And him living on Tatooine with his father’s surname wasn’t nearly as dangerous as Leia existing within the heart of the Empire while actively engaging in Rebel activities that could have cost her her life, even without getting into the whole “daughter of Anakin Skywalker” business.

Also, just because we joke about Tatooine being Space Australia doesn’t mean every single day of Luke’s childhood was THAT eventful.  It was more likely 80% dull farm life and 20% mayhem, and that 20% would be mostly Luke’s fault for being a crazy nut like his parents and getting himself into trouble he could have avoided in most cases.  In other words, growing up there might not have been nearly as “deadly” as we make it out to be.

[sweet-croissants]

Julie and the Phantoms Character Appreciation

Part 1 - Alex

I’ve never seen a character like Alex. No I don’t mean I’ve never seen a gay character/ character with anxiety. I’ve never seen a character where it’s not their entire personality or a show handle it the way they do. They didn’t have his “combing out scene” be this huge dramatic moment, they didn’t stop the spin of the earth so they could “reveal the truth about his sexuality!” No, it’s was said in a way that you could have almost missed it if you weren’t paying attention and it was said so casually that I almost forgot how important the representation he symbolized was. It was normal. They didn’t wait till the the 7th season, or even the end of the season to say it, so there was no queer baiting and no hesitation to embrace who he was in the show. Finally, the guys don’t ever, not once, talk about it to him as if he is going to burst out into tears if they say a word wrong. They don’t treat him as if he’s fragile about it, and I get it for some people it’s a sensitive topic and should be talked about carefully, but they know how Alex doesn’t want to be treated as if he’s weak. (E9 when they are in the hug circle thing “I feel stronger....not that I was ever weak”) And because of this, they don’t treat him like it. Obviously they aren’t insensitive but they don’t act as if they are walking on a minefield. His anxiety is relatable too. It’s not over done, exaggerated, or enhanced so they can get the point across that he has it only to drop in 10 minutes later to never mention it again. And both his anxiety and him being gay I’d done in a way that little kids can understand I think that we think topics like these to hard or difficult for kids to understand, but the truth is they can. You just have to be blunt in a way. Boys can like boys, girls can be boys, you can be whoever you wanna be, and it’s okay to worry over things even if they seem like you shouldn’t because “they are simple”, it’s all okay and natural.

Part 2 - Reggie

Reggie makes me happy to see because it shows certain things about kids who’s parents are divorced and are neglected. At the very least he was emotionally neglected, but neglected non the less. And obviously, not all kids handle this the same way, and that’s why Reggie is so important to me. Reggie obviously rebelled, even a little by joining a rock band and I don’t think he took on all the responsibility to take care of himself. Reggies not dumb, he’s oblivious and half the time I think he’s not as oblivious as we think he is. And he’s only oblivious when he thinks he can get away with it, like when he asks where Luke is going on his birthday as if he doesn’t know what happened. He also does something I found I used to do when I was lonely in a room full of people, and that’s ask dumb questions. Yes, he must know the answer but it’s puts a little attention on himself, and you can guess that he didn’t get a lot of that from his parents. Even if it’s at his expense, he’s willing to dell included in what they are talking about. He still has his serious moments though, which are usually right after he realizes that he can’t just play dumb to get out of the situation. You can also see that it hurts him a lot when he gets played off as being the dumb one, but it’s probably what he thinks of as his only way to get people to listen to him (everyone treating him like he’s an idiot also probably hurts his confidence leading to this too). Another thing I’ve noticed is his attachment to Ray. He knows how amazing of a father Ray is because of how much he loves Julie and Carlos. This is why he respects Ray so much, because even though he’s going through his own thing with his wife’s death, he never forgets to be their for his kids and that’s probably something Reggie never had.

Part 3 - Luke

Like is kinda special. I’ve seen characters similar to him but something about him sets him apart from everyone else I’ve seen. I’ve seen character that are cute and don’t take advantage of it but instead are super nice, I’ve seen that before but the difference is how he does it. In the first episode, right after Julie kicks the out, he’s not even mad or angry with her. Maybe he’s upset, but not at her. He’s upset because he just found out he died and then lost what he considers his second home. So, he explains that to her, but he doesn’t argue it he just wants to tell her his side of the story. And when she explains hers, he’s sorry and apologetic for her bad day and you can tell he’s being genuine. Before it’s obvious he likes her, he helps her get back into her music program because he knows how important it is. He gives her a song that he wrote and talks her up when she doubts herself. You can also tell that he never stopped loving his mom, no matter how many times they fought. He knows that she cared about him, which is why they fought in the first place. His only fear, the reason he never truly apologized, was he was scared he finally blew it. That he had officially messed up and she would want to hear from him, that he couldn’t fix what had happened. One more thing, I’ve never seen a character as passionate about something as him. I’m sure that character exists, no doubt, but personally I’ve never seen it. He doesn’t care about the money, yeah it’s a bonus but not the main focus. The main focus is putting a smile on people, making a difference to people, to not be alone. The entire reason he’s mad at Bobby for stealing is music without credit is that no one, including his mom, got to know his dream was worth it. He died and time erased him.

Part 4 - Julie

My love for Julie is astonishing. She’s a Hispanic girl, with gorgeous hair, and beautiful skin, and an amazing tooth gap. I almost fully expected it to be used as a thing she was bullied for, teased about, and made fun of for and when she fixes it, it shows that “she was always secretly beautiful/she could be beautiful all along” and all that junk. The fact that it’s not mentioned once is so wonderful because all people have flaws! People have tooth gaps, stretch marks, and different body types. No one is perfect and neither are their bodies. It also shows that Carrie, the “mean girl” of the show isn’t going to be like all the other mean girls in teen shows and it makes me appreciate her character more. It shows how they used to be friends and even thought Carrie can be mean, it’s never to the extent of making fun of what she looks like. One more thing with Carrie, Julie has never said a mean thing about her in the show. When Flynn makes the comment on the dance routine, she says “well it payed off” and she even complemented the song and choreography for All Eyes On Me. Not once has she said anything mean back and it shows how kind of a person she is. Even though Carrie humiliates her, she never has it in her to truly insult her back. Also, having a Hispanic girl as one of the main characters is wonderful! Representation is always heartwarming to see and this is no exception. They don’t try to shove it in your face in an unrealistic way, but it’s definitely in there consistently, it’s really nice. On top of all that, how she handles her mom‘s death is just as terrific. She’s right, playing music reminds her of her mom and that’s exactly why she should play music! It encourages others to know that it may hurt but it gets better. That there will come a point when smiles and joy filled where sadness and tears used to be when you think of those memories. She’s such a powerful person and it shows.

[itswhumpday]

Hey may i request whumpee crashing on caretaker? At first, caretaker thinks they're kidding or something, then they realize whumpee is about to pass out from overheat, or low blood sugar, you pick. Have a nice day!

I wrote and rewrote this three times and I’m still not FULLY happy with it, but I have it, so... Here’s some old timey whump! 

I also didn’t use neither of your suggestions, buttttt I hope you like it anyway!

Since the king has been away, the princess and the head of her guard have been awfully close.

Not that there is anything reprehensible about it. They’re always polite in the presence of other people. But every noble person in court will admit she gives them liberties other guards would not get: she asks for their opinion often, as if they’re a counselor of some kind. She does not attend any events under the wing of any other guard. During her mornings and her afternoons, she can be found walking around the castle grounds with her guard.

It is for the surprise of the kingdom that there is gossip going around about a disagreement between the both of them. These pointy tongues – but don’t say I told you this! - say that it’s probably related to the recent presence of lord Oswald. There is even talk that there has been a letter from the king, informing the princess of a marriage that is meant to be arranged soon.

Disagreement or no disagreement, the princess and her guard are seen leaving the castle to walk the grounds at sundown.

“Oh, please, stop making that face.” The princess says, as soon as they’re out of ear range of the same gossipers who have divulged today’s misunderstanding. “I’m getting married, not dying. It’s hardly a danger I can be protected from.”

“I don’t like him!” The guard says.

“Neither do I! What does that have to do with anything?” She looks back at the castle, her eyes following up to the highest tower, as if for the first time, she sees something sinister in the place where she was born. There is something feverish about the action. “You made your opinion pretty clear and you know how much I value it. But I don’t think anything can be done at this point. The man is here and my father’s letter is final.”

She turns away from the castle, her feet picking up the pace, but her guard has no problem catching up to her.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

She worries the strings of her dress around her fingers.

“Perhaps.”

Sometimes, the guard swears, the princess really makes me mad.

“Well? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Because you’ll be cross with me, and I can’t have you cross with me.” She fixes her skirts as she climbs a couple of steps. “I need you to be your normal funny self so this all doesn’t feel so… Terrible.”

The guard is taken aback.

“I… I don’t think there’s anything anyone can find funny about this situation. Not even you and I.”

The princess stops, halfway through statues and topiaries. She turns to her guard, pulling out a small pouch.

“They asked me to marry them this morning.” She points at the small pouch where a ring glints inside. It looks like she’s carrying a dead mouse by the way she looks at it. It would be amusing if it wasn’t terrifying.

The guard peeks inside the bag.

“Big rock.”

“The biggest! I even cut myself with this earlier! I know I shouldn’t be touching it before the wedding, but I wanted to see it better.” She shows a small cut near her thumb. “I looked at it now. It’s as ugly as it’s big.”

“Smells… Different, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, please, guard. A fart joke is beneath you, even in this situation.”

The guard can’t help but to smile. This is their princess. Joking, kind. Their best friend. They would break the world in two before they allowed things to change. But, as it seems, there is nothing they could do. The mere idea of someone touching their princess without her consent is bone chilling.

“And what did you say?”

“What could I say?” She puts the pouch away, picking up her pace again. Sweat is starting to shine in her skin in the warmth of twilight, but she looks like she can run a full lap around the castle. The guard knows better than to try to stop her. “I have orders to fulfill, as much as anyone else.”

“But you only told me they were here to marry you this afternoon.”

“Because I wanted to know what you thought! And you made it pretty clear.” She crosses her arms, suddenly stopping. “And what can a princess do when all of her allies leave her for dead?”

“Hey, now…” The guard says, shaking their head.

“What should I do? Fall ill out of hysteria?” She puts her hand dramatically over her forehead, rolling into the hedge labyrinth. The guard laughs, following her in.

“You have never fallen ill, not once. No one would fall for it.”

She turns back, walking backwards to look at them.  

“Maybe I should pretend my own death. You would cover for me, wouldn’t you?”

“I would lose my head. Avoiding your death is kind of my job.”

“It is, isn’t it?” The princess takes a different route. Guard doesn’t mind. They know where all the roads of this labyrinth end. “Perhaps I should just vanish! It would serve my people well! To have no one to gossip about!”

All entrances of the labyrinth end at the former queen’s garden. Guard stands there, waiting for the princess to jump out of the hedges to scare them. Hardly never works because they’ve grown to wait for these kinds of shenanigans, but she is rather resourceful in her antics.

Guard eyes the sky. The light is dimming.

“Fine, vanish then. But come back in the next five minutes. We should probably head back. You have dinner to attend to.” They wait, but hear no sound. Impatient, they walked to the way they saw the princess walk into. “My lady?”

They followed the trail, heart racing as they didn’t hear a reply. When they finally find her, she is standing, one of her hands at her chest, the other grabbing the hedges. They look like the only thing keeping her up.

“Princess?”

She raises her eyes. They have the same feverish glint to them. She extends her free hand, as if asking for help. She tries a step, but her knees buckle. Guard reaches them in a second. Her body crumbles in their arms, as light as a flower petal, as heavy as the kingdom. A difficult sound escapes her throat and her scared eyes are glued to his as her hands grab on to his armor.

With a jolt, they remember. A memory they thought they suppressed from childhood, from his apothecary mother. There would always be sellers mother would turn away. Wicked people, she would say, who sold wicked things. Where is that smell from? They try to remember as they lower the princess to the ground, not knowing what to do.

A black powder, that’s it! As black as the stone in the princess’ ring. A poison. A poison she has cut herself with before she was supposed to.

With her mouth agape, the princess’ head tumbles back. Her beautiful hair is sticking to her face, that was pale as a midnight moon. They stand up, carrying her as a wounded bird.

The guard doesn’t remember ever running as fast in her life.

[starrynite7114]

Four Seasons (Angel Reyes)

A/N: I wrote this after my organic chemistry exam as I was just a mess emotionally. I couldn’t this idea out of my head after I heard ‘Four Seasons of Loneliness’ by Boyz II Men. Hope you all enjoy this story!

Warnings: Angst, I’m honestly so sorry. Please don’t hate me! <3

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It was Spring.

The flowers were blooming yet, the joy that spring usually brought to him, was lost. 

Placing the flowers on her grave, he held the tears back, taking a deep breath.

"Querida, you’re lucky I love you because this place is always so windy when I come by." He tried to make a joke, but the happiness couldn't even reach him.

It was a freak accident. He expected for her to survive, but it just didn't happen.

The first season without her, loneliness seeping in as her death finally sunk in for him. 

She was gone. 

And there was nothing he could do to protect her.

“I still haven’t named her. I feel like the shittiest person because I can’t even stand looking at my own daughter.” Angel sat against her headstone, resting the back of his head against it as he bent his knees, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s been two months and I can’t look at her without thinking of you. She has your nose, she has my eyes, but every time I look at her, all I can see is your lifeless eyes looking at me.”

Angel broke down then, the traumatizing scene in the delivery room forever embedded in his mind. She was bleeding too much. They both knew that this pregnancy was a risk, but she wanted to have the baby, she wanted to take that risk.

But he didn’t. 

He didn’t want to lose her.

And he did.

“What am I supposed to do without you? I can’t even fucking breathe.” Angel sobbed out. “She’s staying with Pops. I know you’re pissed that I won’t even hold her, but, she took you away from me.” He sounded selfish. He sounded like a prick, but it was how he felt. 

She was able to hold her daughter before everything fell apart for Angel. They happily held the newborn, looking down at her. She was the most perfect thing in the world. But then she crashed, they ushered Angel outside, their daughter being placed in a makeshift crib. When the doctors came back out, the somber look on their faces broke Angel’s heart. 

‘We’re so sorry Mr. Reyes. We tried everything we possibly could, but she lost far too much blood.’

January 8th, 2020 was when he lost her.

Angel never really recovered from that. 

He spent four hours by her gravesite daily, speaking to her about nonsense, but he couldn’t face the reality she was no longer in his arms. When he made it home, Felipe was there with his daughter. She was having her bottle, eyes drifting close as she enjoyed her milk. 

“Pops, not now.” 

“Listen, I’m not too old to smack you around son. I understand you’re in pain, that every time you look at her you see your wife, but she’s your daughter Angel. She made it out alive. Honor your wife and be there for your daughter.” Felipe has let Angel mourn enough, it was time for him to face the music. 

His daughter needed a father. 

Felipe handed Angel’s daughter over to him. Angel cautiously held her, her big brown eyes looking up at him. She studied him, moving closer to his warmth. Angel hasn’t seen his daughter since the day she was born. Looking at her proved to be too painful, but holding her now, seeing his wife’s eyes, it was like he fell in love all over again. 

The tears fell from his eyes, realizing how badly he fucked up, how selfish he was. He had a daughter to care for, her daughter and he wasn’t going to let her down.

He wasn’t able to protect her, but he was going to protect his daughter with every fiber of his being. 

It was Summer.

A season that brought on endless joy since vacations were planned and the kids were out of school.

The days were longer, enabling everyone to enjoy the day.

The heat was unbearable. Nothing new there. Sometimes Angel felt numb to the heat, but other times he would feel it since Michaela, his daughter, hated it. If the apartment even went higher than 73 degrees, she was upset. It made Angel smile, your daughter was so much like his wife.

But the pain was still ever present.

Michaela was now seven months old. 

Angel was overprotective and that was mildly describing how he was with his daughter. 

Little Michaela had her father, tio’s and grandfather doting over her. Every little thing she did, there was a video and multiple pictures as proof. When she even so much as sniffled, she was immediately brought to the doctor. Collectively, they were all raising Michaela, since Angel was still a wreck.

Angel no longer visits her gravesite daily, but he did it every two days with Michaela tagging along. He would tell her about the day they met, when they began to date, he talked to his daughter endlessly and she listened to her father too. 

The ache in Angel’s heart was still present, at night, he would find himself turning to pull his wife against him and she wasn’t there. There were times that he would call her number and would pause, waiting till her voicemail came on and he would hear her voice again. Eventually, the number was disconnected. 

It was painful for Angel, having to raise his daughter all on his own. But he was trying his best.

“Look at my baby with her bow.” Angel had placed a headband on Michaela with a cute periwinkle bow. “You look so beautiful princesa.” He was preparing Michaela for Sunday BBQ at his father’s place. 

Ever since your passing, Angel found that he and his father became closer, relating with one another regarding the pain they felt when they lost the love of their life. He understood now when his father spoke to his mother's urn, he did the same thing at her gravesite. 

Michaela giggled as her father kissed her cheek.

“You look just like mommy.” Angel was having a hard time letting go of her, and he honestly didn’t think he would anytime soon or even at all. “I love Mommy with all my heart and I promise to love and cherish you till the day I die.” 

When Angel arrived at his father’s EZ was there grilling in the backyard. He saw Coco and Gilly smoking at the side. He nodded his head at them before making his way over to EZ.

“Hey, Pops went to buy some milk for Ella.” EZ kissed his niece on the cheek. “Don’t you look beautiful, mi preciosa.” 

“I’ll take Ella.” Coco appeared out of nowhere taking Ella from Angel. He gladly handed her over, trusting his brothers. 

“How you holding up?” EZ questioned, turning the meat over.

“I’m good.” Angel situated himself near the grill, nursing a beer in his hand that Gilly had handed him once Michaela was with Coco.

“You don’t have to lie to me Angel.”

“Ezekiel, my answer is the same every fucking time you asked. It hasn’t gone away. She just fucking died.” Angel took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine, I get it, you’re hurting.” EZ sat beside his older brother. He couldn’t fathom what Angel was feeling. They were together for almost ten years. He knew how much Angel loved her, how much he adored her and now she was gone. And he also knew his brother’s self destructive behavior. “You know it wasn’t your fault right?”

Angel has been avoiding talking about his wife’s passing for quite some time. It was too painful.

But it felt like it was his fault. He promised, vowed to her that he would hold and protect her, but he wasn’t able to. 

It was what ate Angel up most. 

He couldn’t do anything but wait for the doctor to come out.

“Hard to see that.”

“I can’t begin to comprehend what you’re going through, but I’m here for you Angel. You’re my brother, you know I love you. And you know I’m here for Michaela too.”

Angel smiled. “I love you too punk.”

It was crazy how he was surrounded by people, yet the loneliness persisted and he knew why.

He wanted her, that was all he needed.

It was Fall.

Didn’t feel any different than summer till it was night. 

The nights have become colder, days becoming shorter.

The pain was slowly fading, but from time to time he would find things that reminded him of his wife and it would come back. He couldn’t even take off his wedding ring and he had no plans to do so. 

Fuck till death do us part, she lived on in his heart and that’s what fucking mattered.

Michaela was crawling now and he was currently baby proofing the apartment. She was pulling herself up to stand, but she hasn’t walked, not yet. But he knew she eventually would. It was only a matter of time. Angel saw your mother the other week. They spoke weekly. His wife’s mother was fond of Angel and offered to live with him till he got situated, but he politely declined. He just wanted to be alone with Michaela. He appreciated the help, but he didn’t want to be a burden to her mother. Losing his wife was difficult for her as well.

At times, Angel dreamed of her. It was less frequent but he looked forward to those dreams. They spoke about Michaela, what they wanted for her and how she wanted to raise her. They spoke about it often before she gave birth, but in his dreams, it didn’t feel like a memory, it felt real. It was as if she was communicating with him. 

“She’s so adorable, you’re doing so good with her.”

“It wasn’t her fault Angel.”

“It wasn’t your fault Angel.”

“She’s so loved baby, thank you.”

“I miss you.”

It was difficult for Angel. The loneliness hasn’t faded, no matter how hard he fucking tried.

But the loneliness hit differently because fall was her favorite season. Halloween was her favorite holiday and she always decked out the apartment for it. They watched one film a day, with a marathon of the Halloween franchise on the 31st. 

Now, he was doing the same with Michaela, but more kid friendly Halloween films.

“What should you be for Halloween? You really like Sophia of Avalon, but I think you’d be so good as a little biker girl.” Angel had his arm around Michaela as she watched Casper. It surprised Angel that Michaela was immersed in any movie he put on. At times she would pull herself up, watching the movie standing up. Every little thing Michaela did, Angel was amazed with. Each day, he fell more and more in love with his daughter.

If he was being honest, having her was making the ache less and less. He loved talking to her most because she would just listen, smile, laugh, anything she did, he was marveled by.

“Michaela,” Angel immediately got her attention, she looked up at her father. “It’s you and me against the world mama, okay? Daddy will always be here for you, no matter what. I’ll never leave you.”

Michaela smiled, your smile, and Angel kissed the top of her head.

“You would have loved your mom, she was the kindest person I know. Whenever she would laugh, it was so infectious.” Angel leaned back, smiling as he remembered how you would laugh at all his jokes. At first he thought she was faking it, just trying to appease him, but he realized that she was very easy to please and he made it a mission to always hear her laugh. “She was so excited to meet you.”

“I’ll make sure you never forget her.” Angel touched his ring. “Cause I never will.”

It was Winter.

Michaela’s first Christmas. 

Angel went above and beyond. He picked a Christmas tree, one of the ones in a fucking yard. The apartment was all decked out. He got her a sock that was hanging over his mantle. For once, he felt some excitement. He couldn’t wait for Michaela to open presents, to just do about anything. She was walking now and he loved running after her. She would squeal, laughing as Angel slowly chased after her. 

He took things one day at a time and the pain seemed to lessen. The loneliness just came at night, which wasn’t shocking. He didn’t cry as much as he used  to, but he found himself tearing up every now and then. 

EZ was holding Michaela as Angel cooked some soup. She had been sick as of late, the common cold overtaking her. Angel hated seeing his baby so miserable. EZ had been staying with them so they could alternate taking care of Michaela at night but more than not, she wanted her daddy.

“At least the fever is gone.” EZ soothingly ran his hand up and down her back, Michaela resting her head on his shoulder.

“Shit freaks me out, she’s always so energetic.” Angel frowned as he watched Michaela just looking at him, letting out a cough. 

“She’ll be fine. The fever is gone.” EZ tried to appease his brother’s worries. He was worried as well, but he knew she would be fine.

“Princesa, you ready to eat soup?” Angel questioned her, earning a nod.

EZ sat her on her high chair, causing Michaela to immediately cry out. It freaked out both EZ and Angel, as she’s never done that before.

“Dada!” She shrieked out, Angel felt his world stop.

It was Michaela’s first word. 

She said Dada.

EZ and Angel looked at one another before Angel rushed over to her and picked her up. He kissed the side of her head, cooing her as her sobbing quieted down.

“It’s okay baby, daddy’s here.” Angel cradled her head, letting her lay her head on his shoulder.

“That was her first word?” EZ was in awe of Angel’s transformation. 

“Yeah, it was.” 

Angel laid in bed, Michaela sleeping right beside him, a pillow and a bed rail blocking one side and him on the other side. He watched her, the humidifier helping out with her congestion to help her sleep. 

“Babe, she said her first word today.” Angel softly smiled. He spoke to you often. He felt fucking crazy, creepy even. He regretted thinking that his father was insane by talking to his mother’s urn, but he knew why he did it now. It made the pain in his chest ache less and well, he didn’t miss her as much. “Mi amor, te extraño tanto.”

By Christmas, Michaela was much better. She was opening gifts with Felipe, playing with the wrapper more than the toys she received. Felipe fondly watched his granddaughter as she played with the wrapper of the present she just recently opened. Angel was sitting on the couch, smiling as he watched Michaela open another present.

“Look Ellie, tio got you something.” EZ presented the Stitch Doll that he bought for her. The doll was almost as big as her. 

She squealed in delight, hugging the stitch doll. 

“Dada, ook!” She nuzzled her face on Stitch, her giggles filling the room.

Angel sat on the floor with his daughter, watching her as she hugged the Stitch Doll.

No one would ever fill his wife’s position in Michaela’s life. 

But Michaela was surrounded by people who loved her.

These past four seasons have been fucking hell for Angel. But as the weather changed, the time passed, the pain eased. The loneliness would always be present, but with Michaela with him, he didn’t feel as lonely.

“Hey baby,” he placed the flowers on the bed of her grave, balancing Michaela on his hip. “Michaela is a year old now. You should see her, she’s walking too.” He placed her on the ground, watching as she walked over to the gravestone, sitting down in front. Angel chuckled, smiling as his daughter bent down to smell the flowers. “She’s just like you. Fucking hates the mornings, loves having ice cream at the middle of the night.” 

“I miss you querida, so much. I know you’re looking down at us, watching us.” Angel looked up in the sky, the wind picking up. “We’ll meet again someday, but for now, Michaela needs me. One day, we’ll be together again, like we always planned.”

He could survive.

He could survive for her.

He could survive for Michaela.

Four seasons of loneliness that he survived and he’ll continue to do so.

Maybe someday he’ll meet someone again, but Michaela was his number one priority.

They would meet again.

And he couldn’t wait for that.

[dorizardthewizard]

Galactik Football: Season 1

I completely forgot that I wrote a load of ramble as I rewatched GF during  lockdown, so uh here’s a sort of review for season 1!

------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, the concept and setting is just so unique and wild I mean, football in space against aliens but with magical powers too? Epic. Superpowers are pretty common in sports cartoons and anime but here there’s actually an explanation for them, and they have significance for the world of the show. The concept of the flux sets up for an entire sub-plot of wars with weapons of mass destruction, corrupt mega-corporations ruling the galaxy, space pirates… the world feels very lived in, and makes you want to know more about the goings-on outside of the football games.

The pirate business doesn’t overshadow the Snow Kids though, because their personal drama and journey to becoming a better team together is interesting enough. Basically, this is a space opera with football sprinkled in. For such a big cast, most get good development and there’s no clear main character. This leads into me rambling about each character, because I never really appreciated the diversity of arcs when I first watched it as a kid :’P

Rocket:

He starts out pretty timid, doesn’t fight for his dreams, and has a habit of running away from confrontation (like when the others found out he was Aarch’s nephew) that follows him into season 2. He’s stuck tending to flowers (ironic, since he himself isn’t allowed to grow and bloom), but by the end of the season, he’s more authoritative and confident enough to suggest strategies to the team. Also has a habit of hiding his feelings and underestimating his importance to others, which he works on in season 2.

Tia:

You’d expect her to be more calm and similar to Rocket, and sure they bond over being out of the inner circle of the Snow Kids, and also both having emotionally unavailable parents, but she’s actually far more headstrong than she seems. I mean, she was willing to do anything to be in Aarch’s team, even faking her parents’ consent and almost dying when her ship crashed! (Plus that scene where she uses the breath is epic, that music? Chef’s kiss) She’s not perfect though – she’s very empathetic (like when they arrived on the Ryker’s planet and she was the most upset by the conditions there), and relates to Rocket, so she wants to give him the happy family she didn’t have, by reuniting him with his mother. Although well-intentioned, it’s preeetty invasive, and though it turned out okay in the end, she really should have consulted with Rocket first, especially after finding out his mother wasn’t dead, but had left them. For all Tia knew, she could have been a really shitty person.

D’jok:

Very clear ego problems :P He doesn’t know his past and doesn’t have much of a future on Akillian, so he pushes himself to achieve some great destiny, then feels like everyone else isn’t on the same level as him if they don’t do the same. He gets more than he bargained for when it turns out that Sonny Blackbones is his dad, and he realises what’s really important to him in the final match. Namely, he realises that the reason he found it so difficult to sabotage the match isn’t because he wanted to win at all costs, but because he doesn’t want to betray his team – he wants to win together with them.

Althooough, I was never entirely sure about him scoring the penalty before knowing Sonny was safe, like sure he didn’t know Sonny that well yet so maybe felt closer to the SK but dude, you just sentenced a man to death. I think the life-and-death situation by itself was enough to get him to rethink his priorities. Maybe they could have made him more aware that the whole galaxy was at stake if he lost the match, but that motive for scoring the penalty isn’t as satisfying for his arc I guess.

Micro-Ice:

To this day, I have no idea why he was named that :’P He’s the first Snow Kid we meet, which makes for a fun start to the show since he’s such a smart-ass and a joker that keeps getting in trouble. He could have easily been nothing but comic relief, but he isn’t. He’s actually pretty pessimistic and doubtful about his skills, and covers it up with jokes and fake confidence. He didn’t even want to go to the try-outs, to avoid disappointment if he didn’t get chosen.

The self-confidence issue keeps building up with things like being put as substitute initially, being the last person to get the Breath, and D’jok and Mei getting together, finally driving him to run off with the pirates thinking he isn’t really needed on the team. He also lets jealousy get the better of him, souring his friendship with D’jok and forgetting that Mei is free to choose whoever she likes. He eventually realises he’s wrong though, and comes back. I also love his friendship with Artie :’D

Mei:

She starts out ambitious, which in itself isn’t a bad thing, but she’s willing to throw others under the bus for personal gains. Then you start to see it’s because of her mother’s influence – always pushing her to do better. When Mei starts to actually have feelings for D’jok, she starts to care about him and regrets breaking up his friendship with Micro-Ice. Eventually, she manages to stand up to her mum and is happy playing the position she’s best at.

The execution cooould be a little better because at times it leaned a bit into the “overambitious woman who needs to be put in her place” trope. It only really comes down to little details, like why did Aarch refuse to let her try out as an attacker when he was forming the team? Back then he had no idea who she was or what her skills were?? He didn’t even want to consider the idea later when Micro-Ice left, which felt more like an emotional reaction than a tactical one. But anyway, it’s alright overall and I love that she got to score the winning goal despite not being an attacker.

Thran and Ahito:

Having a narcoleptic goalkeeper is just genius, and makes for some fun last-minute saves. Also love how despite being asleep half the time, Ahito’s the one that knows what’s up :’P Thran is also really underrated but there’s more to talk about with these two in season 2.

Also wanted to throw in some appreciation for how the older characters are written – usually the adults in kids shows are more on the side-lines, but in Galactik Football, they’re also pretty flawed and interesting. For example, Aarch isn’t the perfect, wise mentor – whether he did it for glory, to escape bad memories or a combination of both, he still left his brother and planet behind when they needed him most, and now he’s trying to make up for it. Norata’s not perfect either – he denies Rocket his dreams partly to protect him, but also out of bitterness towards Aarch and fear of being left alone again. Also, there’s a variety of different families being represented in the show – single parents, adopted parents, rich, not so rich, neglectful, supportive, ambitious, non-existent… and with some of them, this plays a key role in the Snow Kids’ characters.

The show might not be the most technically amazing, okay, the 2D animation is not the best, but the designs are pretty diverse and I miss that 2000’s style with the outfits :’P There are lots of locations with pretty backgrounds, and very varied planets that reflect the people living there. I also like the comfortable sci-fi design – it’s futuristic-looking enough, but more colourful than some of the CGI bores we get in movies these days.

The 3D animation is better – they reuse motions a lot but at least they shake it up a bit by using different characters and camera angles. Speaking of camera angles, there’s some really interesting ones and camera movements that really make the matches dynamic. Honestly, having CGI in the 2000’s that doesn’t look super ugly and dated now is great, partly because they transferred their designs to 3D really well and partly because they didn’t try to do much rendering on the models.

ALSO THE SOUNDTRACK SLAPS THEY DID NOT HAVE TO GO THAT HARD ON THE OPENING THEME AND THE SCORE SOUNDS SO EPIC ALL THE TIME

I don’t know how to end this so if you actually got this far, I’ll just say season 1 was the best one for me! There’s some parts and characters I left out but that’s for another time. Sinedd and D’jok’s rivalry deserves its own post :’P

[duhragonball]

Krillin for the character ask :)

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: It’d be easy for me to say “he’s just a good dude” and leave it at that.   I think people would agree with that statement, but I think it runs deeper than that.   The thing that stuck with me about Krillin was when I was checking out the bonus features on the Movie 6 DVD I bought in 2002 or whenever, and they had an interview with Sonny Strait where he explained that Krillin only got into martial arts to impress girls, and that was the same reason Sonny got into voice acting.    Maybe I’m misremembering that, but it always stuck with me.   

Krillin wants things out of life, and unlike a lot of the other characters, he’s not looking to get them by wishing on a magic dragon.   He wants to become worthy of the things he wants, and he may not always be sure of how to get there, he knows that he has to become more than he is.  

Recently, I’ve been seeing excerpts from Barack Obama’s book, where he talks about reading up on subjects to try, unsuccessfully, to get girls to like him in college.    I think the idea was that he was trying to be self-effacing, but it hasn’t gone over very well.  I’m not sure if the problem was that he wasn’t being self-effacing enough, or if there’s something more sinister about reading Karl Marx just in case it helps your odds of getting noticed.    I’m not going to wade into that controversy, except to say that it reminded me of Krillin.  

Is it shallow to have self-serving reasons to improve yourself?   Did I just answer my own question?   The point I’m making here is that it’s a useful motivator.    Krillin has self-esteem issues, and he joined the Orin Temple and then Kame House to try to overcome them.   He thought “If I just get really good at this one thing, then people will like me.”   And we can say “Oh, no, it doesn’t work that way, Krillin, people like you because you’re a such a good person, and besides, it doesn’t matter how good you are at martial arts.”  

Okay, fine, let’s assume that’s true, and Krillin deceived himself by training in martial arts.    Oh no!   He put in all that work, and all he got out of it was... being the strongest human on Earth.   Shoot.    He made himself a better person for nothing.

The reality is that I don’t think he would be as well-liked if he hadn’t gone down this road, simply because people wouldn’t have gotten to know him.   That’s really what it’s about.   It’s easy to say that you’re liked for “who you are on the inside”, but what people really want is to be noticed long enough to be liked for who they are.    And sometimes you gotta take a long look at yourself and say “I need to do something to grab people’s attention.”

And sometimes, in order to motivate yourself into that kind of work, you have to play that trick on yourself.    “Just think, if I put in those extra reps in the gym, the ladies’ll be all over me!”   And it never actually happens, but it gets you through that workout, and the next, and the next, and the next.  

I think we can all relate to that.   I’m writing this because three people asked me to, and I’m sort of hoping a few more will see it and like what I wrote.   I try to get better, because I like the rush of validation that comes with it.   And if I don’t get it, well, boo-hoo, I wrote a few hundred words about Krillin, a subject I enjoy writing about.   It’s a no-lose situation, and there’s some non-zero chance that attractive single women might see this and decide to slide into my DMs.    It’s a tiny chance, hardly worth mentioning, but it’s a lot higher than if I just sit in my apartment and stare at the wall.   

Why I don’t: Ocean Dub Krillin really rubbed me the wrong way, because they wrote and voice directed the character to be really nebbishy.   That wouldn’t necessarily make him a bad character, but it definitely conflicted with what you see on the screen, where he’s stepping to Nappa, Vegeta, Dodoria, and everything else he has to deal with.    Once Sonny got the role, everything turned out cool.  Mondo cool, if you will.

I suppose I should point out the flip side of what I wrote above.  Krillin’s so focused on being worthy that he fails to recognize his achievements.   That’s admirable in its way, but it also makes you worry about the guy.    Like, he knows 18 is crazy about him, right?   Wait, does Obama know people like him?   Do I?  Oh I might have made myself sad there for a minute, excuse me.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Probably the moment he tries to take on Super Buu all by himself.   One of the cool things about Krillin is that he’s taken on every major villain from Piccolo Junior to Buu, despite being outclassed.    I think the Super Buu thing is the best one, though, because in that situation there’s literally no chance of anyone jumping in to save him.    His entire plan is to hold off Buu for a few seconds and maybe buy a few minutes for the others. He’s doomed and he knows it won’t even work as a diversion, but he still jumps in anyway.    It proves that this is who he is.    When there’s literally no one left to impress, and nothing left to gain, he’ll still play things out the same way.  

Favorite season/movie: The Androids/Cell Saga is probably his best material overall, just because of his conflicted feelings regarding 18, and the difficult choices he makes because of that.   You can make a strong case for the Namek Saga, where it’s literally just Krillin and Bulma and Gohan, so he has to take the lead by default, but I’m just not that into the Namek Saga.

Favorite line:

This is really more from one of the video games.   I think Budokai 3, but I’m not sure.   Piccolo demands custody of Gohan and Krillin’s like “No way, you’re probably gonna eat him or something!” and I’m pretty sure this wasn’t in the Ocean Dub, so it completely caught me off-guard, like it was the last thing I expected Krillin to say.   And then Piccolo comes back with “I’m not going to eat him!”  like he’s offended at the very suggestion.   As a runner-up, I dig that part in DBZA 54, where Trunks and Vegeta are both reeling from their losses to Perfect Cell, and Krillin reminds them that they don’t have to posture around him, because it’s just him... “Krillin.    Everyone’s friend.”

Favorite outfit: That’s easy.

Yeah, the Frieza Soldier armor looked mighty good on this dude, and the cop uniform does too, and the classic Turtle Hermit outfit is a signature look, but this, right here, is the Krillin for me.    My man’s got the blue shirt under his orange shirt.    No more of the Yamcha slipppers.   Those look great on Yamcha, don’t get me wrong, but Krillin needs those big chunky Goku boots, because they’re perfect for stomping those pesky girlfriend-exploding remotes.   Fellas, this is the ideal male body.    You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.   

OTP: Maron HAHAHAHAHAHA oh wow.   No. It’s 18, obviously.

Brotp: Clearly Goku is his bro, but it’s not surprising at all how effortlessly he gets along with just about everyone else.   He’s bros with the entire world.

Head Canon: I’m pretty sure the Maron/Marron thing was just a coincidence in real life.   Maron the girlfriend was a filler character, and Marron the daughter was introduced in the manga some time later, and both used the same naming convention to end up in the same place.   However, I choose to believe that Krillin actually named his kid after his ex, and he somehow convinced 18 to go along with that idea.   

By that, I don’t mean he had to sweet talk her into it or promise a bunch of stuff in exchange.    I mean he must have discussed what to name their kid, and 18 was like “Your ex-girlfriend?   Seriously?” and he was like “Yeah, I know she’s a ditz, but you gotta understand I was in a really low place and she helped me through it.”   Or something like that, where once he lays out the whole reason 18′s like “Yeah, you know what?   Okay.” 

Or maybe Maron helped deliver the baby or something.   Or she was the surrogate mother?   Holy shit I might be onto something.

Unpopular opinion: Krillin clanks when he walks, due to the solid brass balls he’s got.

A wish: They should do a movie where Krillin just fights Frieza and wins.   Decisively, undisputably, irrevocably.   Krillin is stronger than Frieza from that point forward.    I don’t care if that means nerfing Frieza or godmodding Krillin, but I just want it made plain that if they use Frieza from here on, it has to be with the understanding that Krillin can whip his ass at any time.  

That might sound silly, and I guess it is, but you see what this accomplishes, right?   It forces Frieza into a new character dynamic, so it’s not just the same old shit with him.    Or Toei collectively admits that they can’t use him anymore, which was what they should have decided in 1995.   I’m fine either way.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Don’t grow his hair back, okay? 

5 words to best describe them: Qualified to sell real estate.

My nickname for them: The Kriller.

[eolewyn1010]

3 seasons of Charité - upsides and downsides

Includes spoilers for all three seasons!

What I like about Charité, season 1:

- Ida is a relatable and stubborn woman, and while I think the protagonists of the newer two seasons are written better and more interestingly, she makes for a good central character

- Behring is great to watch, complex, enthusiastic, arrogant, passionate, desperately forlorn, sweetly encouraging, irascible, honest, and I’m always torn between loving and hating him with all my heart

- he also stands in for how badly society was suited to handle people with psychological issues back in the day

-  actually, none of the characters are simple or one-sided; expectations are often subverted – Behring is not heartless, but he can’t just be “saved” either, neither Koch nor Virchow are as benign as they seem at first, Tischendorf is not the sweet young Prince Charming who’ll give Ida the dream life she deserves, Hedwig is not a brainless little floozie with no deeper thoughts or feelings, neither Therese nor Martha are all the strict boss ladies they want to be, Edith is not just a snotty bitch etc.

- medical history of that time, a blunt look on methods and circumstances

- the rivalry between the doctors; it’s fun to watch them passive-aggressively piss on each other

- the staging of the Tuberculin scandal was really effective, with all the hyping, the downfall and the consequences

- we get sweethearts! Stine is a sweetheart, Else is a sweetheart, Therese is a sweetheart, Dr. Kitasato is a sweetheart, and most of all Dr. Ehrlich. I like kind people, ok? Especially in a setting where so many people are asses

- the music is atmospheric and quite nice

- despite two options of marriage, the female protagonist remains single and gets to focus on her career, even in a time and setting that’s not supportive

- I’m having a blast with Minckwitz – he’s such a bitch, I love it

What I hate:

- the lesbian dies for no good reason

- did our main character really have to be a tragic, left-all-alone orphan in debts? Would you like some cheese with that whine?

- the big, hammy speeches get on my nerves after a while

- my sweet lesbian Therese dies, awfully, of frickin’ tuberculosis

- say what you will, Ida and Behring could have made it work; I think they would have been good for each other. Kinda disappointed

- Else Spinola deserved better

- poor Therese dies, thinking that God punishes her for being in love with Ida

- those weird slo-mo shots between scenes don’t serve any purpose

- what’s with the random fortuneteller scene? What was that good for?

- THERESE DIES! We go with f***king Bury Your Gays??? F*** YOU!

_________________________________

What I like about Charité, season 2:

- Anni and Dr. Sauerbruch – different than with Ida, we get two focal characters who aren’t presented as doubtlessly morally good. On the contrary, Anni starts out as quite the happy-go-lucky little Nazi follower – and then we get all the character development; hell yeah!

- Anni chooses to keep and raise her disabled baby herself, come hell or high water; damn, she fights for that kid. And Martin is positive disabled representation, too – thanks for giving me a handicapped veteran who’s not a bitter, drunk wreck just whining about what a cripple he is! He’s got a grip on his life, and the leg only ever comes up on three occasions; it doesn’t define him

- Otto, Martin, Doc Jung, Margot, Maria Fritsch and Kolbe are more clearly positive characters, but they aren’t one-sided, either – like, Otto plays that bright sunshine, but there’s so much seething in him. My sweet baby boy

- same for the negative characters, because they aren’t flat either; Artur, de Crinis and Christel are super interesting, all different levels between quiet, only semi-aware compliance and full-on, not-so-blind fanaticism. Gawd, those shitheads, but they’re fascinating to watch

- all them relationships – Margot-Ferdinand, Otto-Martin, Otto-Anni, Artur-Anni, Margot-Doc Jung, Ferdinand-Doc Jung, Anni-de Crinis, Bessau-Artur, Martin-Christel, Otto-Christel, Anni-Martin… there are so many interplays, so many dynamics that influence each other! SO many layers!

- the acting is better, I think; the characters altogether feel less wooden, much more human than the first time around – perhaps because it’s not 19th century manners anymore now, I dunno; I’m getting really emotional over shit, and I love it

- incorporation of the political and social situation into the hospital setting – much more than in the first season, the state ideology influences the way the doctors can do their work, and many of them do their best to still hold onto their duty when everything around them falls apart, which is beautiful

- power struggles between the characters in charge and ideological / political nuances are more subtle; nothing is black and white

- but there’s nothing subtle about the presentation of Nazi crimes and how many people actually just went along willingly – that cold bluntness is just what that subject needs

- interactions with patients are better this time; they’re more now than passive, pitiable creatures who quietly die their way, they’re characters with their own minds and drives (Lohmann, Magda Goebbels, Hans von Dohnanyi, even Emil)

- the music is even better than the first time around, I love it – so gentle most of the time, but it can also really help to build the tension

- we get a very sweet, functioning queer romance between characters who consist of more than “well, they’re gay and it troubles them”, and they both live – THANK YOU for learning your lesson; there was no good reason to have the gay character die, so Otto and Martin get a happy end. Was that so difficult?

What I hate:

- Yrsa von Leistner is so effing random. Who the hell wrote this? If you can’t incorporate a character properly, why bother including them in the first place?

- the passivity and anonymity of the disabled children – why didn’t Artur or Anni ever get to perceive one of them as a person? That girl Traudel for example, Anni could have talked to her

- there’s a slight tendency to “I’ll just tell the character next to me” exposition – Artur when he and Anni wake up together that one morning (why wouldn’t Anni know yet what he’s working on? That long-winded explaining sentence just came off as awkward), Peter Sauerbruch to Margot about the Dohnanyis and Bonhoeffers

_________________________________

What I like about Charité, season 3:

- I’m all pro ProPro! Honestly, that man is a treat, both how the character is written and how the actor carries the situations and interactions he’s in. He’s arrogant and narcissistic, but he’s also principled, insightful and caring, unpolitical in a smart way and honest in a quiet way, and he gets how people are, and his mentorship of Ella, how he supports and encourages her and also bluntly gives her the dressing-down she needs, is a thing of beauty. And that she has to earn his attention first

- I have a personal soft spot for the scene where ProPro is doing his sports and going jogging while talking with Ella, and then just has her run along. That man’s hilarious, I love him

- Ella’s spirited, and while I don’t love the protagonists of this season as much as those of the second, she’s still great in her own right – the dedication to her research, the strength with which she handles the shit that’s thrown at her

- everyone’s so snarky!

- the wider focus on medical history and research; we see a lot past surgery now

- everyone’s taking shit in stride – staff is running off to the West? Ok; rest gets double shifts. We don’t have a senior doctor on the ward this morning anymore? We do shit ourselves. An illness we’re not prepared to treat anymore because, actually, there should be vaccination enough? We’ll make do. I love that spirit

- positive disabled representation! Rapoport’s daughter actually interacts with people, is presented as a person, has dreams and strengths and can handle her issues – yes, please!

- we get an intersex character, not for long and the story isn’t treated with the care and attention it should have, but props for the effort, I guess

- the setting allows for Ella to focus fully on her work and passion, not really giving much on romance and marriage without that seeming out of place – Ida’s conversations most often revolved around a man, Anni was considered a Nazi role model for being married and a mother, but Ella, while the relationship with Kurt is an option, never prioritizes this and never needs it

- personally, I’m smelling threesome subtext between Ella, Kurt and Alex Nowack – that may just be me, but I like it

- how everyone handles situations, how the changes happening in the country are incorporated into the world the characters live in, how they are able to cope with stuff and make decisions, in the end even without shifting blame

- even more so than in season 2, I really like how human the patients and their relatives are, that interacting with them in the right way is made an important part of the doctors’ work, even when some of the patients are asses

What I hate:

- people are mumbling – it’s not dialects, it’s not accents; they’re mumbling. They never were in the first two seasons

- the cancer stories were really no favorite of mine; what’s with the teary melodrama and the sudden gory shock value? Come on, Charité, you can do better. Presenting the human side of everything has always been the strength of this series, so why going so overboard now?

- I dunno, the crime cases ProPro investigates don’t seem to be incorporated that well? I suppose they’re there to establish his main field of pathology, but they spend a lot of time on that “Biter” case, and I’m not sure why

- would have been nice if Inge Rapoport had gotten to interact a bit with important characters other than her husband, Arianna and Kraatz – she’s a lovable, strong female character; why keep her so one-sided?

- what’s with the black’n’white painting? You showed us how conflicted and nuanced people under the Nazi regime could be; why now the clear line between “those people are good” and “that one sold his soul to the Party”?

- you show us an intersex person, introduce her as a character, make us sympathize, show us her hindrances and possibilities – and then she’s just gone? What about her treatment? Positive development? Making Kraatz’ interactions with her a counterpoint to his interactions with Doc Rapoport? What WAS that?

[astridbrandonauthor]

Autism and Jobs

Related to the last blog I wrote, which stopped getting notes after like a few hours. LOL TW: Coronavirus talks; job loss So on Monday, I was told that I would be let go from my current job. What do I do in this job, you might ask? Literally my job is to take my ‘patient’ to and from his appointments 30 miles away. It’s literally the easiest thing ever, and was absolutely perfect as someone who 1) already was acquainted with the family to an extent and also friends with his sister, 2) in college, and 3) also as an autistic person and my patient’s mom literally works with people who are neurodivergent so she completely knows how to work with me. He’s pretty independent except for being autistic and also not being old enough to drive. So for me, this was like a dream come true: Something easy and something I could work while in school, and still get paid a decent amount of money. And tbh the family is really sweet and amazing. So, when she broke the news to me, I was so shocked and sad. It wasn’t anything I did, or she did.  My job (and actually hers as well) were victims of Coronavirus. Her hours are being cut, so she’s going to be home the entire week. His sister is likely to still be home this semester as well (again because of Coronavirus). Honestly, there is no point in keeping me if someone is going to be home all the time. So, I have about 3-ish weeks left. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been working for 3 years and have had 7 jobs. Every single time I was looking for a job, I’ve always found it practically impossible to find a job (except this one—this job I hadn’t actually been looking. My friend had messaged me asking if I would like to take her place while she went off to Job Corps. Having had a hard time at the dry cleaner’s, and anything to be done with working customer service, I did not hesitate to accept). Having to jump back into job searching has reminded me just how difficult it is as a neurodivergent individual to find a job.

I’ve had problems with people in the past thinking they knew what was best for me. I immediately cut ties with a former friend who was trying to force me into McDonald’s because, and I quote, “I’ve trained autistic people to work the window before.” and essentially any autistic person should be able to do the job. That’s not the case. Despite being acquainted with her for years, she obviously knew nothing of me. 

I know what my limits and capabilities are. Fast food? I would not last a minute in fast food. I can list numerous reasons why I could never last: the sounds of food cooking, the sounds of people shouting over each other in the kitchen, people talking at the drive-thru, people talking in the dining area, the people talking at the counter, the fast pace. And that is perhaps just scratching the surface. 

Car cleaning? I’ve already tried it, it’s similar to fast food but without the food. There was just too much going on, the heat, and too much physical work (I thought I could handle the physical work but obviously I couldn’t). Out of the question.

Grocery stores or department stores? Well, the last hundred times I’ve applied to grocery stores, I was always turned down. Why? Because I’m a college student with inflexible hours. That’s why. Grocery and department stores used to be great for college kids, but now it just feels like you have to be lucky as a college student in order to work retail.

Maybe return to the dry cleaner’s? Fuck no. I had more problems there than I did at the other dry cleaner’s that went bankrupt on me. Though I miss the one manager I worked under.  Maybe try another care attendant job? Well, I’m looking into it, but my problem is trying to find someone close to where I live, and in a similar situation to my current patient.

The problem I’m running into right now is a combination of, “These are things I know for a fact I cannot do.”, “I don’t have the skill set for this one”, “I need to be making over $9 an hour.” and “I am a college student, so my hours are inflexible.” And what really is frustrating is that I have even looked at Amazon jobs, and Amazon isn’t hiring near me. Or at least jobs within my “skill level”.  Yes, jobs for me exist. It’s just a matter of sifting through hundreds of jobs that I can’t do because of this, that, or the other. And if you’re a neurotypical reading this and your first thought is, “Well that’s your problem, you’re saying that evil four-letter word!” (Can’t) well, while you’re right that I’m saying that, you’re not grasping why I’m saying it. You don’t know my limitations—physically, mentally, and emotionally. You don’t know what I’ve tried and failed at no matter how much effort I put into it. You don’t know how many times at the jobs I’ve failed where I was in the bathroom, bawling my eyes out because of sensory overload or being treated like shit. Neurotypical people can naturally filter out things that cause autistic people sensory overload, burn-out, and to have meltdowns. And it’s not that I’m trying—because let me tell you, I’ve been trying as hard as I can. I am limited in what I can do, but I’m also willing to work hard at the things that I can, for a fact, do.  I can do the things I know I can do, I just want the opportunity to show that I can do them. And the fact that there are very few resources for adult autistic people, especially ones to help us find jobs, really makes things feel like an impossible task.