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jenscx · 2 months ago

Text

KISS ME MORE — ning yizhuo

tldr: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

tags fluff, crack, jealousy, non-idol au, roommates, based off that one reddit story, short fic, dialogue heavy, mentions of jmj, hi yunjin! tw for oblivious ning, pacing’s weird kinda

wordcount 5.2k

🎙️ author’s note: happy birthday ning! late fic ik… but i’ve been busy (i’m sorry 😞) hope our dearest main vocal stays happy for the rest of her life! can’t imagine aespa without her 🤍 happy reading~

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 16 hours ago.

TLDR: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

i am currently roommates with this girl, A. we've been staying together ever since we graduated and we’re very close. sometimes we’ll even jokingly flirt with each other but she knows i’m straight and she has never made me uncomfortable before. i’m a foreigner and A has definitely helped me grow accustomed to the culture here. i owe it all to her. which is why i’m confused about my feelings right now.

i’ve never thought of myself to be discriminatory towards anyone and i always welcomed those different from me, regardless of their sexual orientation. however, recently my roommate has come out to me. i supported her and didn’t think much of it after. but here’s where the problem starts. she came back with a girl a few days ago that i recognise from our extended friend group. i have nothing against gay people but when i saw the girl, i just felt so upset. at first i thought it was because i was in a bad mood and all i wanted was to cuddle with A, but afterwards, A would progressively get more touchy with that girl (lets call her Y). every time i would see them, i just felt bad. i wanted to puke at the sight.

i caught them making out on the couch once and i got so pissed off. i think it was because of a rough day but basically when my roommate started to apologise, i just blew her off. Y seemed embarrassed too. i felt really bad afterwards since A was really hurt by my action. she asked me why i was so angry and i just lied saying that something at work made me upset. i don’t want to tell her that it was because seeing her with a girl that i was annoyed.

there was another incident where she brought Y to our weekly game night. all my friends seemed fine with her, except for me. one of my friends, let’s call her M, had to pull me aside to ask what was wrong with me. in that moment, i realised that i was only hurting A and Y by being a jerk. i’m normally a polite person but that day i was being unnecessarily rude to someone i didn’t even know. i chalked it up as wanting only the best for A since she’s a year younger than me and wanting to protect her. she doesn’t really date anyone and she’s very quiet. am i being unreasonable? i really don’t want to be homophobic. i told M all about my feelings of homophobia and she told me that she was dating a girl too. i didn’t know why she brought it up but then she asked if i felt any disgust towards her for being gay. i said no and that her sexual orientation would never change our friendship.

so she asked why do i only feel that way towards A? and i want to extend that question to everyone here too. can someone help? do you have any experience with something like this? i don’t want to lose A as a friend. she’s one of my best friends and i can’t see myself not standing beside her in the future. we’ve been through a lot together and i don’t want this to be the reason why we end our friendship. she’s never once complained about my dating life and it feels hypocritical to do the same to hers. but i just feel queasy whenever she brings up other girls. like i want to bash my head against the wall type.

do i have selective homophobia? can someone help?

⇧ 157 | ⇩ | 89 comments

u/betterthingz01 | 12h

op i hate to break this to you… but i think you might be in love with your roommate.

u/throwawaylizard | 12h

can you elaborate? please!!!

u/flatearther | 11h

Are u sure u don’t have a crush on A? Or that u are straight?

u/throwawaylizard | 10h

uhm well i’m straight… so i don’t think i have a crush on A but if i was into girls, i’d definitely fall in love with her!! she’s really sweet and caring.

u/flatearther | 10h

Oh 😭😭

u/mingmingz | 7h

how do you feel if your roommate brought back a different girl? maybe you just don’t like Y as a person?

u/throwawaylizard | 7h

she used to bring other girls around too i think they were just friends though. i felt the same way but just seeing her kiss Y makes me want to throw up :((

u/blueskies444 | 5h

have u tried talking to ur roommate? i think communication is the best solution here

u/throwawaylizard | 4h

i talked to her a few days ago, asking her if she could stop bringing Y to our hangouts or apartment because it feels weird. our friend group only really consisted of five people and as bad as it sounds, Y just felt like an intruder. she kinda looked at me weird before agreeing. but then she asked if i would be fine if she went to Y’s apartment instead and obviously i said it wasn’t any of my business. A got a little upset and we haven’t been talking recently…

u/blueskies444 | 4h

i’m gonna be real w u for a sec and say that A is most definitely trying to get u jealous

u/throwawaylizard | 3h

why would she do that?

u/blueskies444 | 2h

yeahhh i’m not the one who should tell u why

“ning yizhuo, why am i getting messages from jimin unnie saying that she found your reddit post?” minjeong’s voice shrills out behind yizhuo. the girl shrinks, shivers running down her spine at the thought of anyone finding out about her post. she had resorted to reddit for help after much consideration and even aeri had said that reddit was surprisingly helpful at times.

“that’s not me! you’ve got the wrong person!”

minjeong rolls her eyes and tosses her phone onto yizhuo’s desk, “that’s literally you. ddongie would be upset to know that he’s a throwaway lizard.”

yizhuo instantly protests, “that just means that it isn’t my main account! i didn’t want people to find my real account.”

“oh, so you are throwaway lizard?”

she cowers at minjeong’s intense gaze, knowing that her little slip up just cost her whole facade.

“well the comments were helpful!”

“did you not reread what you typed out?”

minjeong’s genuine tone makes yizhuo hesitate.

“yeah? did i make a lot of spelling mistakes…?”

“no! did you not realise?” minjeong asks again. yizhuo huffs, swerving back around in her chair, “realise what? that i’m a bad friend? y/n hasn’t talked to me in days.”

just as she said in her reddit post, you haven’t spoken a word to her ever since that day she confronted you. yizhuo doesn’t think she was super mean with her words but the way you had reacted made it seemed like she killed your whole family.

she had only said, “hey, can you stop bringing yunjin over?” and her mere words had launched a full-blown argument where you had insinuated that yizhuo was jealous that you had someone to rely on.

it couldn’t have been further from the truth! yizhuo would never be upset about your happiness. any semblance of bitterness had lessened when she saw how bright your smile was or how much you were laughing when yunjin would tell a joke.

(she didn’t find it funny but at least you laughed. yunjin was the epitome of dad jokes. she was not funny.)

“she really hasn’t? wow, she’s determined,” minjeong chuckles.

yizhuo rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her sketchbook. a few scrawned out designs, nothing much. just to take her mind off this situation for now. the pencil drawings somehow only manages to ensure that her brain constantly thinks about you though. how you encouraged her to enrol in a fashion course and how you were certain that yizhuo would become the biggest designer ever known.

she would giggle at your claims and humour you. now all that was left was your silence.

“why would she be determined to ignore me?” yizhuo asks, sighing, “i was upset but now it just seems like she thinks i don’t want her to be happy.”

minjeong raises an eyebrow, “what did the comments say? did they help?”

yizhuo huffs just thinking about the reddit comments. none of them really helped her to identify her feelings. just stating that she was gay and in love. both wrong!

“they said i’m in love with y/n and i’m jealous of yunjin,” she answers coolly, trying not to get too worked up over the false accusations.

minjeong winces, “do you think they’re right?”

yizhuo furrows her eyebrows.

“no?! i’m not gay!”

“but do you like y/n?”

“no! she’s just a very good friend!”

the brunette sighs, “that’s what they all say.”

“minjeong!”

yizhuo couldn’t be in love with you. no way. you were really just a good friend. one of her closest. she adored you greatly and wanted the best for you.

“so why are you so upset?” minjeong asks.

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking reddit! but now i just look like an idiot,” yizhuo groans, wanting to pull her hair out of frustration, which truly shows how irritated she was. she would never harm her hair.

“yizhuo, have you ever considered that you’re not as straight as you thought?”

yizhuo turns back to face minjeong, who’s sitting on her bed. she thinks back to all the times you’ve hung out with her. the lingering touches of comfort. the warmth she felt whenever you spoke.

she just wants her friend back. and she doesn’t know why she’s acting so unreasonable. could minjeong have a point? what if yizhuo…

“oh my gosh! i’m jealous since she’s out and gay—”

minjeong lights up, squealing, “yes!”

“and i’m just a straight girl without any confidence! i’m jealous of her confidence!”

minjeong deflates almost instantly.

yizhuo knows she’s right, so she immediately hatches a plan to talk to you. one comment said communication was vital in preserving this friendship, so yizhuo jumped into action. she knew you had your shifts at night and yizhuo could catch you off-guard right after. your work usually ended late and yizhuo always dozed off on the couch waiting for you. recently that routine has been broken, of course, but that’s when you’re most susceptible to vulnerability. yizhuo needed space to be honest and truthful.

thus, she waits patiently in the living room. yizhuo’s not really sure how long your shift lasts but she normally hears your keys jingle at midnight, so maybe then?

she waits an hour. then another. and then another. she spends the time scrolling on instagram, a frown forming on her face when yunjin appears on her feed.

then, finally, she hears the door creaking. jumping up from her lying position, yizhuo sits upright, focused.

“oh,” is your first word to her. not ‘hi’, or ‘hello’, just an acknowledgment.

yizhuo blinks at the sight of you in your work attire. but she quickly shoves the thought of how attractive you looked into the back of her mind.

“hey,” she winces at her own unfamiliar tone, “can we talk?”

you stare at her in shock before reluctantly nodding.

“yeah, sure.”

she pats the space next to her and clears her throat as you sit down.

“i know i’ve kind of been a jerk lately especially to you and yunjin, but i just want to say that i’m sorry.”

surprise flickers in your eyes, “oh.”

“i talked to minjeong unnie and it really cleared things up. i realised that i was upset because it felt like we weren’t as close as before. knowing that someone like yunjin could come replace me. i was jealous that you had someone while i didn’t. it felt like you were moving on without me, so i got a bit angry. i’m really sorry for the way i treated you and yunjin.”

(their first interaction really went poorly. yizhuo had came home, ready for a long movie night, just to find a random girl (well, not really random) sprawled out on her couch.

“i’m home,” yizhuo calls out, carefully approaching the body. long and lanky is the first thing she notices. and the bright red hair. yizhuo dyed her hair red before, it stained her pillowcase cover. she wonders if this girl’s pillowcase covers are stained with red dye too.

“hey, how was your day?” you ask, laying beside the girl, “sorry, this is yunjin. we just finished a gym session together with aeri unnie. minjeong unnie knows her.”

no wonder why you were barely dressed. yizhuo scrunches her nose at the sight of yunjin’s arm wrapped around your bare torso. she nods and asks quietly, “why is she here?”

you laugh, “i was bragging about my post-gym lunch and she said she wanted to try.”

yizhuo’s never tried your cooking before. she feels a little out of place now.

“ah, okay,” she replies dryly, not bothering to keep her volume down, “is she going to be here all day?”

yunjin wakes up at the commotion, a little disoriented as she shifts.

“oh, shit. sorry, y/nnie,” yunjin yawns, sitting up, “sorry ning, i accidentally fell asleep.”

“it’s yizhuo. only my friends call me ning,” she spits out. you send her a scalding look that makes her want to retract her words, “whatever. sorry. see you guys later.”

at night, just before you leave for your shift, you reprimand her, saying that she was extremely rude to someone she didn’t even know. yizhuo had tuned out most of your scolding, not wanting to hear you defend yunjin.)

“oh…”

yizhuo swallows harshly, squeezing her eyes shut, “i just need you to know i’m not praying for your downfall or anything. i want the best for you, especially since you feel like my younger sister.”

as soon as she finishes her little speech, she opens her eyes to your flabbergasted expression. eyebrows furrowed with your mouth agape.

“uhm… can you forgive me?”

yizhuo really needs you to forgive her. she doesn’t know what she would do if you decided that this was the breaking point for your friendship. she would respect your decision but still, it wouldn’t be nice. who would want that? and if you decided to end the friendship, what would happen with the apartment? yizhuo really likes being roommates with you. it would suck to have to find another roommate as meticulous as you.

“well— uhm, of course,” you stutter, “i gotta go shower. sorry.”

“oh, okay.”

just as you’re about to get up, yizhuo reaches for your hand, “we’re okay, right?”

she watches your throat bobble before rasping out, “yes. we’re fine.”

wow! yizhuo mentally pats herself on the back.

that was so easy. it felt like a whole weight got lifted off her chest. yizhuo smiles to herself and enters her own room, proud.

(meanwhile, in your own room, you vent to yunjin, bewildered by yizhuo’s obliviousness.

“she said i’m like a sister! her absolute gall! and she said it’s because she’s upset she doesn’t have someone like me! your whole jealousy tactic didn’t do shit!”

“girl, calm down. i didn’t know you liked the dumb ones. who knew she was so stupid?”)

you stare at yizhuo, who’s trying her best not to show any disdain for the way yunjin’s arm was slung over your shoulder. she must either be extremely self-repressed or just stupid. probably both. unless she didn’t actually like you. that thought, you didn’t dare to entertain. the once confident and bold girl had turned into this timid and shy kitten.

“take a shot if you’ve kissed someone in this room before!” aeri reads out the card before gulping down her drink. minjeong and jimin do the same and so do a few others. when yunjin shakes you ever so slightly, you take the initiative to swallow down the burning sensation. yizhuo’s glare narrows before she turns away entirely.

subtly grinning at her act of jealousy, you hum happily. there’s an outcry of people asking who aeri kissed and the attention shifts away. most people in your extended friend group had assumed you and yunjin to be dating. the only people who knew the truth were minjeong and aeri. jimin was kept in the dark since well, truthfully, she couldn’t keep a secret from yizhuo.

“take a shot if you ever kissed someone of the same gender.”

there’s more people drinking this time. you drink yours after a refill and so does yunjin. your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets when yizhuo drinks as well. wasn’t she straight?

“who did you kiss?!” jimin screeches.

yizhuo wipes her lips, glistening with alcohol, “a friend. it was a dare in high school.”

you listen with rapt attention as aeri eggs on, “was it good? are girls better than guys?”

“well, it was definitely less sloppy,” yizhuo shrugs, giggling. her blush has worsened under the lighting and you can tell she’s at least tipsy now. the redness was currently spreading throughout her cheekbones and neck. you would coo at the adorable sight of her pouting and playing with the soju bottle if she wasn’t the stupidest girl on earth. you noticed how yizhuo drank every time yunjin squeezed your shoulder or you leaned into her touch. was she seriously still so thick?

“take a shot if you ever crushed on someone in this room,” aeri groans, downing her glass again. you drink yours and others follow. it wasn’t unexpected. you were seventy percent sure that most of the guys had crushed on jimin before, at least for a second. or maybe hanbin. he was cute too. that, you could admit.

“aeri… why are all the questions about dating?!” jimin whines, flopping onto the carpeted floor. minjeong winces before exclaiming, “i think she’s drunk now. let’s call it a night, okay?”

you agree. yizhuo looks seconds away from passing out as well and despite your recent gym endeavours, you do not want to carry a twenty four year old woman back home. yunjin taps your side and slyly tilts her head towards yizhuo, who’s leaning against the couch.

“go save your princess, romeo,” she whispers and stands to help minjeong clean up.

after all the bottles had been cleared, you crouched to yizhuo’s eye level, “ning, let’s go. it’s time to go home.”

her eyelids flutter open and she blinks at you wearily, “home?”

you nod, standing to wrap her arm over your shoulder to steady her. finally on her two feet, you bid goodbye to everyone and make your way home, albeit slowly.

every minute or so, yizhuo would jolt and nearly topple over. right as you reach your place, she leans over to the sidewalk drain and gags. you let go instantly and take out your phone to record her. next time she wants to get drunk, you’ll just show her the video. let her reflect.

“yizhuo, hurry up, i wanna shower,” you complain, dragging the hem of her shirt.

“o-okay…!”

“uhm, you have to get up.”

yizhuo nods again, wobbling as she stands. you grip her wrist and pull her into the apartment lobby. her body weighs heavily onto yours in the lift and you huff at the stench of alcohol.

“you smell bad,” you sigh.

“really?” yizhuo giggles, “you don’t like it?” the elevator dings.

she turns around to rest her head on your shoulder.

“i shouldn’t have gotten so drunk…”

“no kidding. c’mon you big baby.”

finally, after much effort, you manage to get yizhuo onto the couch. you’re heaving and panting at the end but at least she’s comfortable.

“please never get this drunk again,” you groan, flopping onto the couch.

yizhuo moans, “not my fault.”

“yeah? who’s fault is it then?”

she flips herself around, facing the ceiling, “y-yours.”

“how is it my fault?”

“you and yunjin…” she slurs out and your heart leaps.

“how is it our fault?”

“you keep touching each other,” yizhuo inhales sharply before mumbling, “i hate it…”

grinning, you pat her back.

“yeah. it’s my fault. sorry baby.”

“hmfph…”

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 4 hours ago.

UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

hi guys! so i know some of you all have been asking for an update and here it is. there’s really nothing much that has changed? we’re back to normal, mostly. A doesn’t bring Y around as much anymore which honestly, should make me feel guilty but i don’t. we had a talk and i think it went rather well. i told her i felt like i was left behind and she forgave me for being so shitty.

it feels like this was just a hurdle in our friendship and we’re closer than ever. she’s become really touchy with me and i appreciate that things are back to normal. she’s been initiating talks and hangout sessions which boosts my mood immensely. i’m really happy with the progress we made. we’ve even started cooking together and it feels awesome. Y had tasted her cooking before and i didn’t. so it felt like this hole in my heart had been patched up. our movie nights have become solely ours and everything’s great. she’s the sweetest girl i know and the most caring, so i really do feel happy that i have my best friend and roommate back. our cold war was doing a toll on my mental and physical health but a simple conversation had cleared the air so easily.

sometimes when she brings up Y since she still hangs out with her, i do feel a little upset. she told me they aren’t dating, just good friends. but other than that, we’re cool. thanks for all the comments! i’m glad i’m not homophobic :D

⇧ 178 | ⇩ | 102 comments

u/imissher | 3h

op you can’t be serious…

u/throwawaylizard | 3h

? what’s wrong

u/imissher | 2h

it feels as if you haven’t really solved this ‘homophobia’ issue. just put it off to the side.

u/throwawaylizard | 2h

IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC 😭

u/mingzmingz | 2h

well i’m glad? as long as you guys are happy ig. idk what’s up with gay people

u/throwawaylizard | 2h

thank you! i’m not gay though.

u/japansfinest | 1h

HOLY SHIT NING

u/throwawaylizard | 1h

OMG DONT DOX ME???

u/japansfinest | 1h

GIRL BE SERIOUS RN 😐😐

u/1800hotnfun | 1h

i strive to live as blissfully ignorant as you, op

u/throwawaylizard | 1h

not very sure if this is a compliment.

things had reverted back to normal. yizhuo was happy again and it seemed like everything was fine.

so how did she get here?

yizhuo had simply gone out to get groceries for your dinner together and when she arrived home, hands full of plastic bags, she heard the tail of your conversation over the phone.

“i don’t think she’s picking up my hints, yun,” you say in hushed whispers, “maybe she really is straight. or she just doesn’t like me.”

despite yizhuo’s moral compass, she decides to listen in on your conversation. she’s never heard of you liking someone before, or being so insecure. what girl wouldn’t like you back? and you liked a straight girl too?

she can’t hear yunjin’s reply but you let out an exasperated sigh, “maybe she thinks i’m just being a really good friend. i thought she would have already realised i liked her by now. your whole jealousy plan didn’t work either. i mean, it did but not really.”

yizhuo slowly twists the door knob before loudly announcing, “i’m home!”

she hopes that by now, you would have ended the call so she wouldn’t have to interact with yunjin at all.

“oh,” she catches the anxiety in your voice, “did you get everything?”

“yup. there was a sale on apples, so i got those too,” yizhuo says, a little too cheerfully, but she wants to cover up any nervousness. as she places the bags on the kitchen counter, you stand up to help unpack everything.

while you start to arrange all the groceries, yizhuo thinks about your words. liking someone. a girl. a straight girl who was potentially oblivious to your advances?

yizhuo scrunches her nose.

sounds…

familiar.

“hey, did you get healthier milk? the one with less sugar added.”

as you twirl around to ask, yizhuo’s heart gets caught in her throat.

she was the straight oblivious girl.

“uh— yeah. i got both,” she gestures awkwardly to the pile of bags. you nod and go back to sorting everything out. god, she needs a breather. trudging to the couch, she sighs as the softness envelops her. she couldn’t wrap her head around this— you liked her? potentially? definitely?

yizhuo spends the next few minutes having an existential crisis. she was straight! the straight girl that you liked! and that whole jealousy thing with yunjin! you planned that! she can’t believe it. all her nights were spent debating whether she was homophobic or not and it was all a rouse to get her jealous? well, was she jealous? minjeong had seemed intent on getting her to admit that, which she did. but maybe it was because she was jealous of yunjin.

not for taking up your time.

but for being able to touch you and hold you in ways she can’t.

holy shit. she’s not as straight as she once thought.

and she has a huge crush on her roommate.

how could she let reddit comments be right?!

yizhuo stares blankly at the ceiling. you call out from the kitchen, “do you want white or red wine?”

she stands up from the couch, resolute in her decision now.

no wonder you had looked so offended after she sister zoned you! yizhuo would hate it too if all she was to you was an unnie. she wanted— no, needed to be your everything.

“yizhuo?” you ask again, examining the two bottles of wine.

yizhuo almost sprints into the kitchen. the sight of you with your hair up, the cute lace white apron wrapped around your waist, and your focused expression. it has her drooling. everything was so domestic.

how hasn’t yizhuo noticed this sooner?

“white wine please,” she answers when you’re within arms reach.

“are we drinking the whole bottle?”

she stretches out her arms to engulf your body in hers and reads the label on the wine bottle over your shoulder. taking gratification in the way your body shudders, yizhuo hides a pleased smirk.

“hm, should we?” she whispers hotly beside your ear. you shiver before muttering, “maybe. is tonight a special occasion?”

“i mean, it could be,” yizhuo grins, “you were promoted recently, right?”

tonight was one of your day-offs, and you came back recently, boasting about the extra time off you got from being promoted. of course that was celebrated with a simple get together with friends. but yizhuo didn’t get her own special celebration with you.

“yeah? okay, we’ll drink it all then.”

yizhuo smiles into your hair. she’s never felt happier. knowing that her inner frustrations had been settled finally. you were just trying to get her jealous. a good attempt nonetheless, it worked incredibly well. but now she’s certain of her own feelings.

“you smell nice,” she blurts out.

“i used your shampoo. ran out of mine.”

“mhm. smells good.”

yizhuo spots the hint of satisfaction on your face.

“are you complimenting yourself right now?”

“i have really good taste,” she states.

you roll your eyes playfully before detaching her arms but she just slithers them back into place.

“ning, i have to cook.”

“hold on,” she mumbles, “i think we can celebrate another thing.”

sensing your confusion, she continues brazenly, “we can celebrate our first night as a couple, right?”

“what—”

“i’m sorry for being so oblivious this whole time. i got so pissy because i was jealous. apparently, i’m not straight. or i just like you, i don’t know yet. all i know is that i envision myself by your side,” yizhuo explains, “everytime you mentioned yunjin i got upset and it’s because i thought you guys were dating. that’s why i didn’t like any of the girls you brought home either. i’m sorry for saying you’re like my sister. i like you a lot. not in a straight girl way.”

she hears you gasp and she can’t bring herself to continue without your reaction. yizhuo’s been through so much struggle with coming to terms with her identity and feelings and now she wants to get it all out.

“are you serious?” you ask without facing her. she chuckles at the redness at the tips of your ears.

“yeah. sorry for being a jerk. it was because i like you.”

“ning yizhuo— i… wait, let go of me for a minute. i wanna look at you.”

reluctantly, she does so.

you look so pretty under the kitchen light, yizhuo thinks.

“uhm, where do i even start?” you chuckle awkwardly, “i really thought you were into me when we first met and when you said you were straight… i think my heart died a little! but it’s okay, since you’ve been such a great friend to me. i must admit that yunjin did volunteer to be my plot device to make you jealous. i was hurt when you were being rude, so i’m happy you apologised. i like you too. a lot.”

yizhuo grins, heart beating wildly against her chest.

“can you say that again?”

“i like you a lot, yizhuo. can’t believe you called me a sister though.”

“i said i was sorry!”

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 7 hours ago.

LAST UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

hello! i’m glad to announce that this situation has finally been settled with a happy ending. i would like to give you guys a proper explanation and ending for all the help you provided.

first of all, yes, i’m not straight. or maybe i just like A. i haven’t explored that part yet but also, i’m in love with my roommate. i was jealous of all the girls she brought over and i wanted to be the one holding her and making her laugh.

second of all, you guys were right. she was using Y to make me jealous and it worked. so maybe she’s the real mastermind.

and lastly, we’re finally dating. we’ve been taking things slow for now since this is all new to me but A has been incredibly sweet and supportive (as she always is). it’s just a new experience but i’m willing to do anything as long as A is by my side.

thank you all for the help and comments!

it turns out i don’t have any problems with A kissing girls if it’s me she’s kissing.

⇧ 359 | ⇩ | 153 comments

#aespa #aespa x reader #aespa x fem reader #ning yizhuo x reader #ningning x reader #yizhuo x reader #ning yizhuo #ningning

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 10 months ago

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Follow You Anywhere 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You're online existence threatens to leak into your real life.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Note: I couldn't help myself.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

"So... this is what it looks like today?" You aim your camera at the sky outside your window, "sorry, the screen is kinda in the way."

You let out a nervous chuckle and flip the camera to yourself. You make a silly face. You were never overly fond of your image on the screen but the vlogs help. Like a little diary, mostly for yourself. You and your seven followers on Insta.

You bat your lashes and fix the clip in your hair, "oh, I got this free. Yeah, I bought a new hair oil and they threw this in the bag." You let your thoughts run wild from your tongue. You found a journal too daunting, the blank lines leaving you just as empty. This is easier. "Anyway, I shouldn't have spent the money to begin with."

You give another splintered laugh. The one you let out when you're anxious, or scared, or happy, or even mad. You bite your lip and catch yourself in your digitized reflection. You stop and turn your camera to your bedroom.

"Today, I'm gonna clean this mess. Me and you guys together."

You scour the room with the lens. Your laundry is piled on the floor and you have a stack of books you need to put on the shelf. It isn't the worst it's been but it's getting cluttered.

"But first, we'll have breakfast, can't start the stream on an empty stomach," you chirp and nearly drop the phone, "oops, uh..." You fix your grip and check the number in the corner. You have one viewer; on a good day, it's three, most days, it's just you talking to the void.

You go into the kitchen, just down the short hall from your bedroom, opening into your living room. You go to the counter and prop up the phone so the camera is on you again. You tap your fingers and hum.

"What should we have for breakfast?" You ask. You don't feel as crazy talking to yourself even if there's really no one watching. "Oo, French toast. Gotta use up the eggs."

You go to the fridge and pull out the eggs and the milk. You bring them back to the counter, shuffling around for a bowl, a whisk, and the cinnamon.

You mix up your ingredients and dip the bread, one piece at a time. You put on a skillet and fry up the slices, presenting a stack of three to the camera. You smile and dust some icing sugar over the top.

“Probably shouldn't have all this sugar for breakfast,” you shrug at the camera, “alright, quick break…”

You put the stream onto the ‘back soon’ page and take your plate to the small foldout table against the wall. You're not a fan of eating on camera. You finish and rinse up before snatching your phone up again.

You return to your bedroom and put the phone on a middle shelf and flip the stream back to live. Still that one viewer…

“Anyway, I'm back,” you wave at the lens.

You hesitate, looking around as you stand straight and spin. Cleaning, right. Before you can set to work, the phone dings.

A message?

You go back to your phone and squint at the chat bubble floating up.

‘Looked delicious too.’

“It was,” you agree with a grin, “thanks.”

‘Don't mean the toast.’

The next message has you blinking. Your nape burns. They can't mean… you clear your throat and giggle.

“Well, let's get started,” you back up and clap your hands, “you know, I've been so carried away with work. This place is a pigsty.”

You sit on the floor and sort through the clothes. You toss them into the basket as you sit in silence. You stop yourself and glance at the phone.

“How about some tunes?”

You walk on your knees to your bedside and turn on your bluetooth speaker. You go to your phone and find a playlist before pulling the stream back to full screen. As you do, you hear a noise you've never heard before.

‘BourbonBear has tipped.’ Huh? Really?

“Oh, thanks, er, BourbonBear,” you giggle around the name, “how nice. Maybe one day I can afford a proper camera for this, huh?”

You smile and go back to the dirty clothes. You quickly ball up a pair of panties and shove them in the basket. You carry on until they're all untangled.

You move on and tidy your desk, bending underneath to gather up a few loose pens. You make your way around the bedroom, putting away books, fixing the blankets on the bed, and straightening the little figurines on the shelf above the bed.

You grab the stick vacuum and suck up the dirt and proclaim your task done. It took a lot longer than you thought. It's after eleven. The one viewer is still there.

“Whew, okay, I'm gonna get myself washed up and go to the park. Maybe I'll post that later,” you give a thumbs up next to your head as you talk to the phone, “thank you.”

You end the stream and let out a sigh. Your videos aren't much and you doubt they're very interesting but it's like venting for you. Almost like having an invisible friend. You think you will take some pictures of the flowers to share.

🧸

You take your usual path through the park. The walks help you unwind your worries. You try to come after work at least a couple days during the week and both days on the weekend. You find the mindlessness of the routine to be calming.

The deeper you get into the wooded length of the path, you slow to admire the birds in the branches and the critters crawling in the brush. You take out your phone and snap a few photos of a blue jay before it wings away shyly. You smile and flip the cam, smiling as you take a goofy selfie. You can add that to your post.

The path winds ahead and you follow it in the din, listening to the river just down the incline to your left and the tweeting from the sky. You lift your face and inhale the woodsy scent. The sudden crack of a twig startles you and you spin to face the noise. There's no one there. Sometimes you forget other people are free to just walk on through.

You chuckle at yourself and continue on. The path leads out to a suburban street where you like to look at the houses. They're much more spacious and pretty than your grimy brick apartment building.

You come out from the shade of the trees and wander along the avenue. There's a mailbox painted to look like the house it stands before and a little nook for second hand children's books to be borrowed through the neighbourhood. Sometimes you picture yourself living in one of those houses though you don't think it could ever truly be.

As you crane your head, you sense a shadow in your peripheral. You're walking a bit slow. You sidle to the side to get out of the way of the other pedestrian. When no one passes, you look back. No one.

You must be imagining things. You shrug and plod along. You're already thinking of what kind of tea you'll have when you get in.

🧸

You sit down with your mug of ginger citrus tea and set to editing your post. You add a light filter to the photos as you shuffle through them on your laptop. The process is slow as the computer is nearly five years old now and chuffing on its 4GB drive. You get to the selfie you snapped, a stop.

You lean in to get a better glimpse of the background. It's fuzzy but there's a figure just over your shoulder. How could that be? You looked and there was no one there. That's so strange.

You stare as a chill courses through you. You're thankful you hadn't put your earphones in. You wouldn't have heard whoever it was and they may have even snuck up on you. Or maybe it's just a trick of the light.

You hit ‘post’ and try to shake off the foreboding. It's nothing. You're being silly. Besides, you're home and safe now. Next time, you'll be more alert.

A message pops up. You stare at the dot over the chat bubble. You tap with your thumb and bring up the DMs.

'Stream tonight?' BourbonBear asks.

You tilt your head. You already did some today. You're tired and want to lie down and enjoy your time off. You type back 'sorry, not tonight. tomorrow <3' and another notification vibrates. A comment on your latest post.

'Pretty sweater', also from BourbonBear. You heart their comment and leave a thanks below.

You flip back to the selfie. You can't really see your sweater in the picture, just the scalloped knitting of the collar. Well, you suppose it does look cute. You put your phone down and leave it on your desk. That's enough Insta for today.

🧸

You time your shopping trip for the least busy hour. It's early and the store is almost empty except for employees stacking bread on shelves or wandering listlessly around the deli. You have your phone in the basket of the cart, aimed at you as you roll it along slowly and check your list.

The stream is just as empty. It's only just started but you don't expect too many people to be up at this hour. You stop and grab a loaf of sourdough, checking the date before showing it to the lens and putting it in the cart. You smile and announce the next item.

"Strawberries... you know I was thinking I might get raspberries instead," you say, catching the eye of one of the yawning employees. You must seem like a weirdo. It's why you typically don't film in public.

As you roll around to the fruit, you notice the count change. One viewer. You choose a basket of raspberries and show those. You see a message float up; morning.

You smile and return the greeting softly and place the berries down carefully beside your phone. You need yogurt to go with the berries.

You work down the list, making some substitutes as you tick off each item. You linger in the ice cream section a bit too long and talk yourself out of a gallon of rocky road. You lean on the handle of the cart and smile down at the lens.

"Going to check out," you say, "see you all later."

All? There's still just the one. You end the stream and take your phone out of the basket.

You wheel around to checkout and line up at the only open till. You put your items up as you greet the cashier with a smile. She seems tired as she gives a dull response.

As you put the yogurt on the belt, you sense someone join the queue behind you. You glance over as a large man stands only feet away. He's tall and burly and staring at you. Maybe he heard you talking to your audience, or he would think, yourself. You continue to unload your groceries.

"Never tried those," he comments as you take out a box of strawberry Pocky.

You pause and hold them up, chuckling nervously, as you do.

"Pretty good," you answer, "I eat way too many."

You notice the man doesn't have a basket or a cart. That realisation needles under your skin. Maybe he's just getting lotto or smokes?

"You like sweet stuff."

"Too much," you squeak even though it doesn't sound like a question.

He just stares, not saying a word. You swallow tightly and pull the last few items out of the cart and get behind it to wheel it through the lane. As you do, he looms closely, adding to the sweat gathering on your lower back.

You roll along and wait for the cashier to ring through the rest of your things. She bags them up neatly in two large paper bags. You pay with your card and thank her as you lift the first into your cart. The man behind you moves forward and grabs the second, startling you.

"Got it," he says as he places it with the other, squeezing by you, crowding you.

"Oh, excuse me, sir," you stammer, "oh," you lean on the cart to roll it to the end of the lane as you make space between you and the stranger. "Thanks, er, uh... thanks."

You turn and grab the handle, jittering. He's really weirding you out. Especially as you realise he's walked right by the cashier. He's following you.

"I can help get ‘em in your car," he offers in a drawl.

"Oh, that's alright, I... bus," you cringe as you realise you've said too much.

"I could drive you. I have a truck."

"No thank you," you walk faster, the cart rattling with your pace.

"Why not?"

"I don't know you, erm, sorry--"

"You don't?" He catches up and shoves his phone in your face, your Insta profile glaring back at you, "I paid for the milk, maybe the berries..."

"What?" You stop, just by the door and turn to him. "I don't--"

"You haven't eaten, have you? I'll take you for French toast. That's your favourite."

"Um," you blink at him as your eyes tinge, "I don't..."

"You got me through a hard campaign, just wanna say thank you," he adjusts his cap and you notice the pin on it. He's a veteran. Oh, 'campaign'.

“Just got back home," he shifts on his feet, a meek gesture for such a large man, "and... your videos helped me remember it. Helped me hold onto it in the sh-- in the stuff."

"I... wow, okay, that's... I'm glad I could do that."

"I really don't mind giving you a ride. Lots of weirdos on the bus," he insists.

"That's nice but--"

"Please," he softens his tone, "been a while since I sat down and had breakfast without worrying about the sky falling."

You shudder and grip the cart tight. You don't know how to say no. You didn't think about who was watching. You always just assumed they were bots. Then you think of the chaching noise and the amount flashing on the screen.

"BourbonBear?" You ask.

"Yeah," he cracks a crooked smile and smooths his hand over his thick beard. "Everyone calls me Syv.”

#dark!captain syverson #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #follow you anywhere #sandcastle #captain syverson #dark captain syverson #captain syverson x reader

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celestie0 · 2 months ago

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hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.

i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)

but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics

that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc

but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”

not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone

i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention

but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.

anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others

i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)

i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.

hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love

- ellie

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dr-spectre · 2 months ago

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Hello everyone, wanna give a quick update because I have some important stuff to share.

So basically I've been thinking about this for a little bit now and... i wanna start slowing down. I look back at the posts I've made and I've realised that I've done a LOT of posts over the past several months.

IM NOT GONNA DISAPPEAR DONT WORRY!!! I won't be gone!!! I'm not taking a giant break or anything. I just need to allow myself to recharge a bit. Because I feel myself actually getting tired and burning out and i wanna prevent an actual burn out from happening.

When I look at my inbox and I see the asks I get, sometimes I go "man... I really don't wanna respond to this... it'll be too much mental effort. But... the person might get upset or feel hurt that I didn't respond..." that shit weighs a ton on me. It's not to say that peoples asks are bad, HELL NO!! I love getting most of them! It's just that... I'm tired and sometimes I don't know how the hell to respond to something.

Another reason why I wanna slow down is because well... I kindaaa had a mental crisis... I've been feeling very... numb and angry? recently? which is kinda weird considering that Shadow Generations came out and Splatoween is around the corner. Yet i... feel nothing.

I feel my love for Callie slowly dying. It's just that... the common and gross takes about Hypno Callie are starting to really get into me and I'm feeling it's effects. When i see Callie i don't go "CALLIE!!!!!!!!" anymore, i go "Callie....." It's making me feel sad and when i see Callie i think about those takes. They flood into my head.... i feel so childish and dumb... and that i should accept what's "canon" instead of being some obsessive autistic loser.

I don't know what even happened. I think i hate the Splatoon community and youtubers HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I've also started to feel numb because when i tend to become very passionate and excessive, i then get told off for it. It's like im always pushed down. So if they want me to shut up... fine... i'll shut up. I'll be a grey nothing burger.

Anyways, i'll see you guys later.

#important #update #annoucement #splatoon #callie cuttlefish #callie splatoon #splatoon 2 #hypno callie #octo callie #im tired #i need sleep #why am i like this #tired #im so tired #im so numb #am i depressed?#mild vent

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pumpkinstrawbrew · 5 months ago

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me when i finally have my proper off days : why yes, out of all my wips, i certanly must finish this one. 🐾

...

(this thingy was sitting in my drafts for like, 3 months by now. an' after a long working week, i decided that i need to finish it as a treat to myself. the horrible goblin men can be a cute meow-meows too. for me they are at least.

but uh, admitingly there isn't much thinking process behind this one lol. aside from the fact, that after drawing them with cat features, i decided to draw them as actual cats too. so i lowkey designed the cats, i suppose. or well, at least i gave them some small things that would make them a bit closer to their human counterparts.

like, jack canonically have a bit of hair on his chin, pretty much always. my dude has no idea how to shave cleanly *crime master never taught him that skill, i guess* so i draw him those uh, lil hair on his chin as a cat too, but this time, its the whiskers. an' jon is always covered in hay, so as a cat, he might as well be covered in that too. prob bc he hunts mice in the hay all the time.

as cat people, they are like, pretty much the same men, when they're just men, without cat stuff. it's just that jon can get a tad upset, when batman calls him the 'bad cat'. an' jack constatly hears from flash, that this time he will put him down for sure *he never does* also look out for those claws. they are sharp!

anyways, here my nonsense as last post for this month. an' hopefully, a small charm for good luck. gotta just create silly stuff like this sometimes. an' i also wanted this to be a bit of a callback to the first time, when i drawn them together *even if it was a different jack*, both in colors an' poses. it was the second art, which i posted on this blog [waves hand] kinda a sentimental thingy, but i just wanted to do it.)

#venom comics #batman comics #jack o' lantern #jonathan crane #scarecrow #dc & marvel #brew draws

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xbomboi · 8 months ago

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misc. bribelle thoughts

prefacing this by saying bribelle is my favorite ship. actually might be one of my favorite all time ships considering whenever i catch 11:11 i make a tweet on my priv twitter saying “11:11 bribelle and rarijack” because i’m insane.

anywho…

i think it’s a lot easier to justify saying faybelle potentially has feelings for briar in a canon context because even aside from her diary, her behavior in epic winter can most definitely be read with flirtatious undertones, especially after witnessing the dream sequence

but i’m always trying to justify things to myself in accordance to canon without feeling ooc, because i’m the type of creative who would rather write my own original thing than make alterations to a pre-existing work. that’s just me.

and briar is trickier to do so with. in the show alone, she only actually verbally responds to faybelle once and it’s a line that also adds exposition. “but it’s forbidden!” girl come on throw faybelle a bone at least…

by epic winter, i’d say briar could potentially have had surface level attraction to faybelle, but it isn’t until having that dream and probably especially post-epic winter when she’d get time to actually reflect on it that she’d start to develop palpable feelings for her.

i’ve kinda noticed something about briar: she likes attention. i guess she’s kinda like faybelle in that respect.

briar grew up with neglectful parents. fill in the blanks. why wouldn’t she want attention when she lacks it properly from the two most important people in her life?

along this line of thinking, briar especially values explicit displays of affection, particularly from a potential romantic partner.

so, regrettably, let’s look at her relationship with hopper.

i.e. briar’s behavior in the webisode “Here Comes Cupid.”

when she first confronts hopper about his unconventional advances, she’s disinterested and borderline repulsed.

but after hearing him profess his love via the recording, she’s taken aback and actually grows endeared.

until this BAFOON fumbles the bag and does some really creepy shit by leaning into her personal space and calling her hot. understandably, this miffs briar and she once again loses interest.

(side note, too many people ignore how blatantly creepy hopper is to women, ESPECIALLY briar. he needs to be held accountable, not rewarded by getting the girl.)

even then, despite not necessarily returning his affections, she’s somewhat comfortable in the status quo that he devotes his attention to her. which is exactly why i think in bunny’s diary (bunny is wrong btw she doesn’t know a damn thing so idk why the one wiki that’s not the official wiki list hopper as briars crush when the source is bunny’s word like fuck all) bunny mentions observing briar appearing disappointed when ginger asks hopper to the dance and he accepts.

to briar, it’s like she’s losing one of the few things she’s familiar with, the few constants in her life. in this case, her only plausible option who she’d have reason to believe would accept. and we all know how briar is about losing things.

briar sorta settles into this state of fondness towards hopper’s affections, despite them being unrequited. because at least he gives a damn about her.

faybelle—at least, outside of her diary and up until epic winter—might as well be any villain; faybelle just wants to cause chaos for the sake of ruining somebody’s day. and i don’t think briar likes it that way.

i’d assume around the time of faybelle’s introduction to the series, briar’s stance would be one of upset towards faybelle, believing she doesn’t take their story as seriously as she(briar) does. that her role in sleeping beauty isn’t as important to her as being evil in general.

i have half the mind to say that this could potentially be read from briar’s behavior in faybelle’s diary.

first off, that underlining wasn’t added; the underlines are in the official print. meaning briar is putting emphasis on those words specifically. sure it’s a lesson to faybelle about not being an asshole, but also it reflects on briar in a way. like it could be her saying, “you’re supposed to be my villain, but you act like i’m no different to you than anyone else.”

now, this next part is obviously a surface-level gag about faybelle making a malicious act seem so thrilling, but if we close our eyes and pretend that we’re in a different world called I.D.G.A.F. dimension, we can now analyze this in a different light.

briar’s confused by faybelle’s verbal expression of almost-affection. it doesn’t help that she’s most definitely barely awake. but i’m willing to say her confusion is partially born out of actually having heard faybelle say such a thing. it’s gotta be surprising and hard to believe in that moment, because briar has every reason to think otherwise.

in the show, like i said, faybelle just does whatever the fuck. open a sweat shop? sure why not. assist her peer’s mom in attempting to turn the entire world into her own dictatorship? count her in. make a deal with the mafia? just a regular tuesday. but god forbid she focus on being the one to make the sleeping happen in sleeping beauty.

i think that irks briar. or at least make her generally act indifferent when faybelle comes waltzing around to do god knows what; if she won’t care, why should briar, right?

then there’s epic winter. or, as i like to call it in bribelle terms, “they finally fucking interacted”

when briar explains faybelle’s inclusion of herself to crystal, she simply says it’s her thing and cites the sleeping beauty story. like “hey crystal this is my villain btw, trust.”

later when briar’s yapping about the story, some may say it’s counterproductive in relation to briar’s arc that ashlynn brings up the miserable part of it only for briar to talk fondly of it, but i know briar personally, and have been filled in as to what the truth is.

briar dropped that attitude because faybelle was there. she started talking up the story, almost as a cue to faybelle, like “hey remember how you’re like a big part of my life’s purpose???”

faybelle butts in about it. and briar doesn’t get the chance to respond, but i think she was almost expecting faybelle NOT to gaf, so her doing so threw her off just a little. maybe she expected to hear something like “who cares?” instead.

then of course when they get to the castle briar’s little act is dropped and her deep fear of the sleeping beauty destiny is once again present. and of fucking COURSE that’s when faybelle decides to CARE ABOUT THEIR STORY.

listen to me, LISTEN. briar looks at faybelle BEFORE faybelle actually says “no, there’s another room far more important to our story. isn’t there, briar?” she looks at her BEFORE she actually talks. she was looking to see if she’d react, then when faybelle does speak she looks away, then she bumps her to get her attention so briar has to fight the adhd and lock in.

and faybelle just keeps instigating which honestly kinda takes briar out of her typical sulking over her destiny mood and more of like ‘what is your game here exactly’ mindset.

there’s so much to that look briar gives her. so many emotions in there.

after this they go up and faybelle taunts some more only for briar to almost actually prick her finger yada yada. and like i said, it’s a lot easier to understand faybelle’s pov. it’s very clear she doesn’t actually wanna go through with cursing briar, teasing and all. she makes as much obvious by her reaction alone when briar gets too close.

but once briar’s fine she’s like ‘yeah, okay, back to normal,’ meanwhile briar is kinda just done because faybelle is acting a fool. but she never shoves faybelle off of her unlike she did when hopper intruded on her boundaries huh briar why is that what’s that about briar still, briar has yet to have any indication from faybelle about how she actually feels in regards to their story and her role in it. or how it pertains to their relationship with each other. rather, faybelle doesn’t take it seriously much to briar’s chagrin.

then the dream sequence happens.

to me, this is the turning point.

it’s a stupid music video for an insert song, but goddamnit it confirmed darabella and even hunter got to be there with ashlynn so i’ll die standing on business.

this is what briar’s been waiting for from faybelle. that frenemy status is something i think briar wants to figure out which one to see faybelle as, depending on how she really wants to proceed with the story. and i’d say faybelle surprises her; hell, she even shows her a side of her rarely seen.

like with hopper, an outward display of affection such as this is something briar is drawn to. faybelle’s display towards briar in the dream sequence is something briar would be endeared by, as she goes out of her way to prevent her from experiencing the very thing she’s been dreading for so long. that’s gotta fit briar’s love language.

side note, i think it’s very very interesting to note that faybelle is the one to swoop in and save briar in this case, without any other characters present to show a significance in the ending of the story. i say this because hunter gets to be in ashlynn’s sequence and the bears are in blondie’s, despite none of them being in the tower asleep. all this is to say, if briar really did have feelings for hopper or really was gonna end up with him or some guy, they’d be there, right? but nope, just faybelle. I Understand.

after that we don’t really see them interact at all again, but there’s the general disdain for faybelle’s actions as a shared sentiment amongst the others. either way, by the end she shows remorse and seemingly ends on good terms with everyone, meaning i don’t see why briar wouldn’t be left thinking about the dream, seeing her in a whole new light. honestly briar would probably be kinda intrigued by the idea of the bad girl having a soft side for her. briar and i actually spoke about this the other day.

either way, this is briar learning that despite the general ignorance faybelle portrayed, she actually does care about her.

faybelle demonstrating, proving to briar that she is capable of showing affection and actually does care for her is what i think is enough for briar to begin to start falling. (which is kinda reflected in how i approached their relationship in fable fest.)

because briar knows there might actually be something there.

or maybe it’s a kid’s cartoon and one girl mean other one nice, idk.

#guess how many mental illnesses i have #2 digit number #that’s an exaggeration #point still stands #i cry when i think about bribelle #eah #ever after high #briar beauty #faybelle thorn #bribelle #briar x faybelle #briar and faybelle #ramble #duncontent #i’m half asleep so i pray i hope i don’t wake up going “who let me post this!”

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anemonelovesfiction · 1 year ago

Text

Fated Mates 5

Ao’nung x Fem! Human reader

Warnings ⚠️: Smut, Fingering, P in V, upset Y/n.

As always English is stricken through and everything else is notmal? There is a new name in here, Vehlín (Veh-leen), its the only name of importance and it was hard to come up with 🥺

Please forgive me if the plot seems rushed, I’ve not been in the mood and kinda depressy and stressed to get this chapter out so I believe it to be crap compared to my other chapters. I did read through it to a certain point and just wanted to post it.

Eyewng is made up, just for the sake of the plot really (if y’all cared I wanted it pronounced like “Eyy-oong”)

Translation Station

Iknimaya: Na’Vi right of passage into adulthood

Sa’nok: Mother

Tewng: Loincloth

Yawne: beloved

Tawtute: Sky Person (used as “human”)

Ma’tìyawn: My love

Syulang: Flower

Ma’eveng: My child (an endearing term)

Um’ma: Mama

Word count: 6.7k

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I had believed to have been hiding my arousal pretty well over the last two days. But I felt the desperate itch to have my hands exploring my wife’s body, to have my cock inside her, my tongue on her, I wanted to caress her entire being and listen to the sweet melodious sounds she makes while I please her. But I had been busy in every way possible by helping the clan out in any way I could.

When I was younger I would typically train and follow my father around a bit to get a better hold on his duties in the instance that I’d have to take over. I’d eventually been added the role as a teacher to help the young with breathing exercises and Ilu training, as well as training those who wished to pass their iknimaya. But following my father around now was harsh, my time had been taken up from the moment my eyes opened to the moment we had communal dinner.

How my father did this every day without stopping, managing to be a father, husband, and lover to my mother was beyond me- how they had the time to have the three of us was also beyond me. We were currently sitting and fixing a couple of nets that had less holes than they were supposed to and making sure we could salvage what we could.

My ears flickered at the sudden sound of my fathers chuckle as he fixes then other half of the net that I currently held. This one was pretty big and typically required two Na’Vi to cast it, I’d been working on fixing the handle. I then look up to see what he had found worthy of his attention only to see him focusing on the net he held.

“Go to her,” He comments without looking up, I’m sure he understood that I was confused so he finally shifts his eyes toward mine. “You smell- different, go to her.” He repeats and I could feel myself flushing at his comment.

“But we still have to-“

“Don’t be stubborn boy,” He states and I stand up, running off toward where I knew my wife would be.

It didn’t take long for me to go toward the healing hut, knowing she’d be training under my mother and sister, but I did not expect to walk in and see her holding my baby brother in her hands, gently stroking his face as he cuddled up to her, his breathing even as he rested. I could only stare at her in awe with the chubby baby in her arms, she was sitting on the floor with a smile on her face and I could feel my cock stirring.

“It appears you are needed, Y/n.” My sister catches her attention but I’d blocked her out as I stared at my wife in awe, her eyes looking over toward my sister and settling on me, a shy smile consuming her features once she does.

“Are you hurt?” She asks and stands immediately, picking my brother up as she did, cradling his head over toward her neck, and he was still sleeping peacefully.

“No, I’m okay, I just wanted to see you-“ I stated awkwardly and felt the blush consuming my cheeks, my baby brother stirring in her arms, she gently bounces him and pats his back to get him calm and he settles on sucking his thumb.

“I can take him,” Tsireya says as she stands from where she had been grinding dried petals for our mother. “Go, I’ll see you back after lunch, okay?” She says while taking our brother into her hands.

“You sure your Sa’nok won’t get upset?” Y/n asks sweetly and I can hear the worry in her voice.

“No, you’ll be fine,” She reassures her and I grasp her hand, pulling on it gently as I walk toward the marui’s, feeling some relief from holding her hand in mine.

“What’s the rush?” She chuckles slightly after having jogged after me, I plant my feet on the walkway and hurry toward our marui, not paying attention to her and suddenly feeling her sink downward, our hands disconnecting. Her laughter ringing out, my ears flicker and I turn my face, seeing one of her legs had slipped through the material of the walkway.

“Oh great mother,” I mumbled in embarrassment to myself as I placed my hands under her arms and lifted her out, sitting her on the edge and examining her thigh.

“I’m okay,” Her giggle was evident, after hearing that I just picked her up and took her inside our marui, closing the curtain for privacy, settling her down.

“I see,” She states after being put down and reaches behind her back to tug on the string on her shirt, sliding it off her body, tugging on the string on her hip to untie her tewng, eyes going back to me as it falls, a growl escaping my mouth as she bites her lip.

“Come here,” I ordered her closer and watch her as she hesitantly takes her steps, strides very slow, too damn slow for my liking, stopping just a few feet away from me.

“Do you know how good you’d look as a sa’nok?” I ask her, wide eyes looking up at me, shaking her head, my hand leaning over to capture her chin and she freezes.

“I will make you a mother.” I claimed, smelling the slick coating the place I needed my mouth on the most.

“Oh fuck-“ She mutters.

Kissing her was the same as any other time, claiming her lips with my own and teasing my tongue in, making sure she was a panting moaning mess as my hands travelled through her body, laying her down with my body over hers. Her adorable sounds and sweetened smells reaching my nostrils as I shamelessly sniffed while kissing down her neck.

I’d taken my time with her, only kissing when I knew it would drive her crazy, trailing my fingers over her body teasingly, making sure every part of her had been on fire. Although I wanted to take my time tasting her, we were limited on that, and I had other ways to fulfill my desire in edging her.

I slid one finger into her sweet cunt and thrust it slowly, hearing her moan beautifully while smiling from above her, this woman is definitely driving me crazy. Her long legs spread for me willingly and I groan at the sight before me, greedily adding the second finger in.

I’m tempted to eat from the sweetest fruit before me and make her come right where she is, but I need her to wait. I’d decided on placing soft bites on her plush thighs and suckled the sensitive skin there, I could feel her thighs shaking slightly and stop all movement, hearing her high pitched whine and choose to smirk.

“I don’t want you to come yet.” I admit and she just bites her lip in acceptance, not bothering to protest, I thrust my fingers slowly feeling every inch of her, testing the waters and slowing down significantly just for her to slam her fists on the floor of our marui. I lick up the other inner thigh teasingly before lightly pressing my fangs down on her.

Taking my time with two fingers, filling her up and bringing her to the cusp, only to stop thrusting or removing my fingers completely when she is close, only for her frustrated groan to ring out every time. I’d added a third finger eventually, her sweet moans like the beautifully composed melodies playing just for my ears, my cock was terribly hard and leaking, but this was a prize I had to earn.

“I can feel you getting close again,” I muttered the observation to myself as her thighs had already been trembling, but it had gotten worse.

“Please let me come,” She mutters, sweat sticking onto her forehead and a couple of stray hairs across her cheeks as she held on to my other hand to ground herself.

“Mm, I don’t think so baby.” I answered while taking my fingers out, spreading them to see her slick webbing between my fingers, placing them into my mouth and enjoying her taste. My cock throbbing, it’d been doing that for a while, but I couldn’t take my hands off of her.

“Think you can hold on for a little longer?” I ask finally untying my tewng.

“N-no,” She whines.

“Yes you can, I know you can.” I grasp her hips lightly, looking at the markings I’d littered her inner thighs with, enjoying my teeth marks and slight bruising.

“Thank you great mother,” I stated as I slid into her tight wet heat, enjoying the way her cunt squeezed onto me and welcomed me in deeper.

She’d initially gasped when I’d gone in, I had too, I enjoyed digging myself deep inside her, just as our hips joined she lets out a long moan. I bite my own lip and stop myself from attempting to rut my hips in her, she felt glorious, so tight and wet, just for me.

“You feel divine yawne, I love how greedy your pussy gets,” I roll my hips as I say that and she moans louder.

“I want you to let everyone know who you belong to, dirty girl.” I manage to slide one hand up toward her breast, rolling the nipple between my fingers, feeling her squeeze harder on my cock.

“Please let me come,” She utters again and I whine at her squeezing me again, rutting my hips upward and she moans louder. I snake my arm behind her neck and lift her up to face me, kissing her mouth and muffling her sweet sounds while rutting my hips upward and further in her.

“You’ll be such a beautiful Sa’nok,” I grunt as I bring her hips down as I slam mine up. “Wanna see you round with my life inside of you,” I kissed her face.

“Come, ma’tìyawn.” I bite the skin between her neck and shoulder after my comment to feel her hips stutter, her pussy contracting, and a wet liquid sliding down my own thighs. It boosted my ego and made me prideful knowing I had made her squirt again, I recall her stating it was what happened when someone was being pleased very well, which means I have done my job. Her heavy breathing was the first thing I’d heard after my senses came back to me.

“Why does it glow different?” She asks while pointing between her legs and my ears flicker in embarrassment, but continuing to look at her sheepishly, ducking my head a bit.

“It glows brighter when we wish to have children-“ I admit and she blushes, starting to giggle herself.

“It was glowing at the spirit tree too,” She comments, lifting her head up to kiss me, using her still wobbly thighs to stand. It had been about two weeks since then but it was the best night of my life.

“I can’t wait to see you with child,” I smile at her, ignoring the sight of my come slipping down her thighs to prevent myself from taking her again.

“That won’t happen,” She stated absently before retrieving her shirt.

“What do you mean by that Yawne?” I asked as she struggles to tie the shirt on, I grasp her shoulders, forcing her to step closer, and turn her around to tie it off for her.

“Na’Vi and tawtute having a biological child is unheard of,” She explains, turning to look at me.

“It can if we are each others fated mate, which we are.” I stated, remembering Neteyam’s words to me when he first told me about this arrangement.

“Don’t tell me you truly believe that.” She stated as if she were getting angered.

“Maybe its because nobody has tried it yet.” I offered and she rolls her eyes.

“Hey, whats wrong?” I asked realizing sudden change in mood, she’s never really been the type of person to be upset at a topic.

“Nothing,” She tries walking back toward her tewng but I stop her, this was a serious discussions in my eyes, I didn’t want her angry at me.

“Talk to me, ma’tìyawn, why are you upset?” She turns to look at me again and her face falls into a sad one, fixing it just slightly to appear at ease, but I knew better.

“Why are you pushing this so hard? Why put something in front of me that I can’t have?” She asks, turning her face from me.

“What do you mean?” I ask her.

“Believe me, I want to become a sa’nok, I wish I could. But I knew I had to give that up the moment I chose you. I’d asked Norm about the compatibility between myself and Neteyam and he said it was a very unlikely.”

“But we are to have four children of our own,”

“Stop saying that!” She yells and its completely out of character for her to do so. “That’ll never happen, the sooner you come to terms with it the better.” She stated coldly, but even with her head turned away from mine, I can see the tears falling from her cheeks and onto the floor of our marui.

She doesn’t bother staying long after that before tying her tewng back on and angrily walking out, leaving me confused as to why she would believe a tawtute over believing in Eywa.

It hadn’t taken much for me to feel absolutely horrible for having upset Y/n over the conversation- if we could even call it that- we’d had about children. I didn’t have much time to think about whatever had occurred since I knew my father had been expecting me back at any point. But I couldn’t help feeling upset for having made my wife cry, I vowed to make her happy and feel as though I continue letting her down.

I knew exactly where my father had been and I knew he was expecting me back at some point but I had to do something real quick. I grabbed my own spear before diving in the water and going to find the one fish she had talked one time about, she mentioned that she wishes she knew what it was but only ate from it once.

__________

“Hey Y/n, how was-“ Tsireya starts greeting me but stops when she see’s the angered expression on my face, stopping herself from continuing her comment.

“I’m glad you’re back, child, I need your help with something,” Ronal is quick to ask as she see’s me, I turn to see her with a cross-body cloth sling resting on her shoulder, her baby inside it.

“Sure,” I accept and she seems happy.

“I need you to collect some eyewng for me, I would do it myself but my hands would damage the petals. I used to send Tsireya when she was younger but her hands have also become too big for the job.” Ronal explains and I nod.

“Where can I find them?” I ask, expecting myself to have to go alone, making sure to pay attention to her instructions.

“Tsireya will go with you, child, I’m not sending you alone.” She nods toward her daughter and Tsireya warmly smiles, nodding along to what her mother says, she stands and heads out of the healing hut, I go to follow her but get stopped my Ronal’s hand on my shoulder. I stop and turn to look back at her, a worried expression on her face, the tattoo’s making her look stunning.

“When you come back we can talk about whatever is bothering you.” She states and I nod, it’s not that I wanted to, but how do I tell the fiercest Metkayina woman no?

“We do not need to travel far, just in the woods, they’re hidden near the clearing.” Tsireya mentions as she begins walking and I follow behind her.

I remember when we would tell each other everything before, but now that I am married to her brother, would she turn and tell him what she’d found out? She wasn’t like that before, but we were friends then, and her brother was an asshole bully that meant absolutely nothing to me. Would things truly change because of one marriage?

“You can tell me anything, Y/n. What troubles you?” She asks and I realize just then I had stopped following her, she had even walked back toward me to say that. I wonder how long It had been since I stopped walking.

“I’m sorry, just stuck in my head today.” I answer without saying much but she just smiles.

“If you’re worried whether I’ll tell Ao’nung, I promise I won’t.” She adds and I feel my bottom lip tremble before my tears gush out again. Remembering the conversation I had with him was heart wrenching, not because of what was said, but because of my feelings on the matter.

“Oh, come here syulang,” She pulls me close to her in a hug as my fat tears dribble down my cheek, taking in big breaths, sniffling to prevent my snot from getting on her gorgeous body.

“Whatever is the reason for this?” She asks while swiping my tears from my cheeks. I felt like I was being comforted by a mother, someone who’d understood how to care for a small child, and my tears kept coming, and I started wailing pathetically.

“Oh no, come here,” She hugs me again, waiting for my tears to finish, and although we stayed in this position for a bit they eventually do.

“Ao’nung just made a silly comment about something that made me emotional,” I tried pushing it off as no big deal but she makes a face.

“I do not want you thinking I am prying, but what did he say? He has a knack for saying the wrong thing frequently.” Tsireya states with her own pout on her face as she thought about her brother.

“It’s stupid, really.” I try playing it off, starting to walk toward the woods to keep our day going.

“Not if it made you cry,” Tsireya states as she walks beside me, keeping her pace steady with mine.

“I was just being sensitive.” I continue walking, finally managing to get into the woods before she stops me.

“Sensitive or not, he should have been kinder.” I sigh, whats the worst that could happen?

“He keeps saying things about having children, but I don’t think it’ll happen. I don’t want to talk about it or I’ll become a crying mess again.” I finally tell her the reasoning and she only nods in understanding.

“If you would like me to beat him up, let me know.” She answers simply, understanding I didn’t want to talk any further on the topic.

“You don’t have to worry about it,”

“Then lets go find the eyewng my mother needs,” She is quick to change the subject but I hadn’t quite expected her to start running toward the clearing. I trotted behind her trying to keep up with her long legs but it was near impossible, she’d arrived at the clearing first and I had been stumbling behind out of breath as fuck.

“Fuck off, I wasn’t ready!”

“You still loose, Y/n,” She laughs as I leaned over myself, hands on my knees, doubled over sucking in the pandoran air greedily.

“Come on they’re over here,” Tsireya motions for me to follow but I’m thankful to Eywa that she was simply walking.

I listened to everything Tsireya said about finding the flower and being careful with it’s sensitive and surprisingly thin petals, I could understand why Ronal had entrusted me to pick them. My hands were small enough to pick them out of the dirt with no damage.

She held the basket as she instructed me on carefully extracting the plant, making sure to bring the roots out as well. I’d placed them in gently and she had stopped me once we’d gathered enough. She even mentioned how badly she tore them during her first scavenge for them and how her mother had to calm her as she cried.

She covered the medicinal purpose of the plant as we continued walking back and gave examples of when it should be used. It surprised me when we’d came back to the entrance of the healing hut since I had no idea how long we’d actually been walking as she talked.

“We are back,” She calls out to her mother who had been tending to one of the fisherman who’d had discoloration of his foot where he’d clearly cut it up with coral. It didn’t look infected but it was still gruesome.

“Y/n, please tear off a petal from the eyewng,” Ronal states while continuing to tend on the foot of the man before us, she’s digging out small particles of coral but making the cut ache and bleed as she continued working.

I hesitate to take one of the two petals this flower possesses and carefully tear it off of the stem, making the one petal appear like a miniature blanket.

“You will need to put it on his foot,” Ronal instructs and I walk over, kneeling down in front of the man, Ronal holds his foot for me.

“Place it gently, ma’eveng.” She says sweetly and I carefully place it on his foot, blanketing the injury he has.

“Good, now place this aloe over the petal very carefully,” she uses her free hand to push a small jar of aloe my way, a flat stick placed in to spread it over any surface easily.

“How much do I need?” I asked, clearly looking for her expertise on the matter, clearly winning her favor.

“Pick some up with the tool in there-“ I do just what she says as she says it. “-perfect, now be careful not to tear the petal, spread it on and make sure to spread it slightly past the petal so it does not fall off easily.”

“Yes, just like that,” She lets the foot go after I am finished and she hides her smile well, but the corners of her mouth were pointed upward.

“Thank you very much,” The male states after Ronal had given him the okay to stand.

“Just be careful next time, Tu’lí, and do not wait as long as you did this time. That is very careless behavior for someone of your rank.” She states harshly and his ears point downward as if being scolded by his own mother.

“Understood,” He bows his head respectfully and she pats his shoulders twice signifying that he could leave, it catches me by surprise that he bows down to me and thanks me as well, just before taking his leave out of the hut.

“Please take Vehlìn to your father, Y/n and I must speak.”

Ronal tells her daughter as she hands off the tiny boy who’d been placed in a make-shift bassinet with blankets inside it. I seem to catch his eye and he makes adorable grabby hands toward me, my own heart yearning to carry the boy, but smiling at him instead.

“I’ll see you later Vehlìn,” I reassure the boy who’d yet to understand words, his little displeased half cry until he notices he’s in his elder sisters arms, happily squealing as he lays his head back down on her chest. Tsireya is quick to disappear, following her mothers instructions and leaving us alone.

“What is the matter?” She asks and takes a seat in front of me, I follow after her, sitting with my legs crossed, facing her and becoming rather nervous to bring this issue to her attention.

Not that it was a real issue, but how many more people needed to be dragged into this conversation? Would she make fun of me for being upset over something so minuscule in her eyes or would she decide to take her sons side after letting her in on it? I could feel my anxiety taking over as I thought about the endless possibilities until she clears her throat, staring right into my soul.

“Well I, no wait, according to your- well technically it’s a tradition? Unless it’s according to- I mean-“

“Whatever is bothering you clearly seems a lot for you to handle,” Her voice was missing the sharp edge it usually held, her observation was true, but I was expecting a rude comment from her.

“I’m just- I can’t understand.” I finished my thought and formed half of a coherent sentence.

“And what is that?” She asks.

“My biggest dream when I was younger was to become an Um’ma and getting courted by Neteyam had me thinking about that possibility in our future. I took it upon myself to ask Norm, the tawtute scientist, about Na’Vi and tawtute compatibility on having children. He said he’d done previous research to see of he could find a way to merge both species together but that it was impossible.”

Ronal nodded occasionally as I talked, not once looking away, or stopping me. I was grateful she was willing to listen to this as I figured she’d want nothing more than to listen to someone else’s struggles in her clan.

“I had been talked to by Neytiri in a horrible way just after finding this news out. Not having his Sa’nok’s blessing and the devastating news had me begging Neteyam to choose someone else. Someone his Sa’nok could approve of and someone he could have children with. But he declined and told me he loved me even if I couldn’t bear his children.”

I continue explaining and am very thankful to have my mother in law being attentive to my story.

“But Ao’nung sounds confident that because of Neteyam choosing us as mates- along with Eywa’s approval- that we are meant to have children. I desperately wish I could give that to him but knowing that it can’t happen makes me feel like a disappointment when I know thats what he wants.”

“You were born on Pandora, yes?” She asks and I nod.

“I was the first tawtute female born on Pandora, Spider was born after me as the first male.” I admit to her and she smiles.

“And you willingly learned of the Omatikaya way?” She asks and I nod once again.

“I was mostly chasing after Spider because I knew Neytiri didn’t like us around her children, but learned the language, and how to trust my body like he did.” I admitted and she nods once.

“Maybe this was all to prepare you to be placed into this position in your life,” She speaks calmly and it only confuses me.

“What do you mean?”

“You trusted your body to move in the forest, yes? Maybe now you should trust that Eywa will guide your body through the necessary changes of pregnancy.”

“But I’m not Na’Vi.”

“You never needed to be one to carry the child.”

“But our bodies aren’t compatible.” I stated quickly, feeling like I did when I had to start yelling at Ao’nung.

“I believe they are more compatible than you think.” She smiles sweetly and I’m at a loss for words.

“And what makes you believe that?” I ask with a sigh, knowing that it was impossible to win this argument without walking away, but I had been tired of all the arguing, I just wanted to have a peaceful conversation with her.

“She has chosen you specifically for my son. She knew of your wishes to become an Um’ma just as he wishes to become an Up’pa, why would she purposely allow your union and torture you without the possibility of carrying a child?” She asks and I’m shocked at her apparent clarity, but I was left clouded, how was she as hopeful as her son.

“Does breaking the shell during the ceremony really tell you how many children the couple will have?” I ask her and she smiles.

“Why don’t you ask Eywa?”

I was unsure of how I had been talked into whatever Ronal had asked me to do, but found myself following along behind her as she gathered everything she needed, tossing them into the water she had been boiling and handing me the basket to pick apart some of the eyewng petals.

She had been the first to explain that if the petal is broken, it no longer works at all, and all of the healing properties comes from the petal staying intact. After she had said that I can conclude this is why that guy, Tu’lì, had bowed for my hands being still enough to not rip the one I’d placed on his foot.

I had heard Ronal start to laugh as my fingers slowed while tearing the petal off of the stem, making sure to carefully remove the stem from the root as well. I started blushing and turn to see her hiding her smile behind her face.

“What are we making?” I asked her as she grabbed the fourth root and placed it in the water, two of the stems, and one petal following right after.

“One is a tea, the other is a test of some sort.” She responds quickly as she stirs the water again, I just stood there watching it change color as she stirred.

“I will need you to spit in this one,” She offers the small shallow bowl over to me to spit into and I just look up at her, expecting her to be joking and quickly realizing she was not.

“Seriously?” I asked out of habit, but manage to dribble spit into the bowl for her, watching her quick hands stirring it together. The powder was a light green color and became slightly darker once it mixed with my spit. Before I could ask her what it was we were looking for she serves up some of the water from the tea and gives it to me.

“Drink?” I ask and she nods, waiting for me to take a sip, I cautiously sniff it, wondering what kind of aroma the eyewng would give off, and find myself slightly disappointed that it didn’t have one. I only look back up at her and take a sip quickly, it lacked flavor as well, it was like drinking hot water, and it felt weird.

“Do you feel any different?” She asks but I just make a face at the question.

“Was I supposed to?” I asked her only to catch her slight frown, she lifts the cup I’d spit into and sets it back down just as fast, was she disappointed?

“No, I guess not.” She states as she puts out the fire where she’d started boiling water.

“Do you need hell cleaning up?” I offer as I get up and take the cup with me only to have her reach a hand out for the cup I had.

“Do not worry about that. I will take care of it. You should go and join for dinner. I will arrive shortly.”

I nod my head in understanding. She was typically a woman who enjoyed her own company and I’m sure I’d already asked her too many questions for the day. I hand her the cup and take my leave, going out toward the designated area and deciding to eat with my adoptive family, it had been some time since I’d seen them and I wanted their company.

Upon walking up to my family I notice one of the most annoying had actually not been within the group. I frown upon the reaction since we always got along, but I wondered why he’d been missing. I say hello to my siblings who are there, Jake and Neytiri included.

“Where’s Lo’ak?” I asked almost immediately after our hello’s.

“He’s finally asking for Tsireya’s hand in marriage.” Jake breaks the news and I feel giddy inside, my stomach even surprisingly bubbles a bit at the thought, he was finally getting married to her!

“It took him long enough!” I smile at the news as everyone agrees.

“He wants to ask permission from everyone separately, He’s already asked Ronal and Tonowari but still needs to ask Ao’nung.” Spider stated as he digs in to his meal.

I’d grabbed one before hand and started picking at it slowly, not really in the mood to eat all that much, I might have to go pick some fruit and enjoy that later.

“I was wondering how long it would take him to set this plan in motion,” I said. “I’m very proud of him though,” I admit and Kiri smiles at the comment.

“He was very nervous when asking Ronal this morning,” She adds in and Tuk laughs.

“He kept starting over before she placed a hand on his shoulder and told him to stop talking before he threw up,” Her squeaky giggles cause me to laugh as well.

“So you guys were spying on him?” I joke.

“He wanted me there for moral support in case she had declined. Tuk just happened to be there,” Kiri lightly pokes Tuk’s shoulder.

_________

“I have already asked your sempul and Sa’nok, but I figured it would be good to ask you as well.” Lo’ak began and I could tell he seemed nervous about whatever was to leave his mouth.

“Ask me what?” I asked him with confusion. After he’d called out to me I was surprised to see him alone for the first time, he usually came up with my sister or his siblings.

“I wanted to know if you would give me your blessing for becoming one with your sister,” He didn’t sound nervous but upon looking up at him I smirk a little, his face showed every emotion running through his head.

“If she has been willing to put up with you for this long I will be surprised if she manages an eternity,” I joke and can see him crumble slightly.

“Not funny, bro, if you would have asked me about Y/n I wouldn’t be teasing you about it.”

“Take it easy, I’m joking, of course you have my blessing. She truly loves you, I do not know why, but she does.” The smile on his face is worth the little joke, he playfully shoves my shoulder but seems excited.

“What do you have in your hands?” He asks and I smile to myself.

“Fish for my wife, she mentioned this kind when we hung out for the first time. I knew this is what she had been talking about but forgot about it in the midst of everything that happened.” I answered and he nods.

“I always knew you were a sap, the type to pay attention and spoil her just to act all tough in front of everyone else.”

“Shut it, forest boy, I can take you in a fight now.”

“Yeah, sure,” Lo’ak laughs and I glare at him.

“I could,” I stated again.

“Do I need to remind you of your face meeting my fist, several times?” He was clearly amused at the conversation but I just rolled my eyes, there was no point in getting mad over nothing.

“Sure, Lo’ak,” I stated absently and he places a hand on my shoulder, stopping us from walking toward the crowd

“Everything okay?” He asks with genuine concern and I feel proud of how far we’ve come since the first day he arrived.

“I hope it will be,” I admit and he raises a brow.

“Whats going on?” He asks but I just shake my head.

“Just a small argument with your tsmuke, I upset her.” I try giving as little detail as possible, I don’t want to be reminded of upsetting her or bringing this intimate detail up to family. I’m sure they’d find out at some point but I didn’t want to upset her any more than necessary and I doubted she’d want half the clan to find out why.

“They’re sitting together, let’s go see if she’ll forgive you,” He wiggles his brows after stating that and I roll my eyes. It was always something stupid with this one. I shake my head at his antics but follow behind him either way.

“Hey tsmuke,” Lo’ak greets her while placing his hand on her head and ruffling her hair, intentionally messing it up and making it stick out randomly, she shoved his hand off her head while laughing and smacks it away from her.

“Stop disturbing the peace you wild hyena,” She says before her face freezes as her eyes land on me. I smile at her and she returns it before her attention is drawn toward Jake.

“I take it things went well?” He asks as he looks at his son and I notice Y/n turning to face Jake as he says that.

“Now I just have to ask Tsireya.” Lo’ak nervously runs his hands over his knees while joining in with his family.

“You will be fine ma’itan, I see the way she looks at you and how happy she is when she is with you.” Neytiri gives her son a hug while also nudging Y/n and she looks at her adoptive mother before looking back at me, understanding settling on her features a she stands.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” She waves at everyone before joining me and tugging my arm gently, so I follow her as we walk to be more secluded spot.

“I brought you dinner-“ I offer and hand her the wrapped fish.

“Thats so sweet, but I just ate,” She takes it either way. “But I know your mother hasn’t eaten yet, I think she’s still want to-“ She stops talking and stares at the wrapped food in her hands.

“Can you take this a second?” She asks and sounds different, I take it from her just as she turns and vomits, her stomach having rejected the contents of food she had just ate. She’d had her hair braided and out of the way and I’m thankful she did, but she uses her hand to wipe her mouth.

“Lets go toward Ma’Sa’nok,” I stated, making sure to hold onto the food and push her stray hairs away from her forehead.

“I’m fine,” She stated tiredly. “Just want to go home and sleep.”

“I’d feel safe if she looks you over, tíyawn.” I urge and she sighs, nodding after.

“Okay.” She stated as we start walking a short distance over toward my mother’s healing hut. Still seeing her carefully cleaning her supplies as we walk in.

“Don’t you worry, I saw what happened. Y/n I need you to sit down please.”

“Please don’t make me drink that tea again.” She mentions as she sits and places a hand on her belly, gently running her hand to try to ease the ache. “I have a feeling it made me vomit.” She says and my mother smiles.

“I had no idea how it would react with tawtute which is why I had you spit into the dish as well. Making sure to mix everything together very well. The tea was supposed to make you do that, but it appears your reaction is delayed.”

It starts making sense to me now, she must have given Y/n Eyewng tea earlier, but did she have a reason for doing that, or was she just curious? I eye my mother and look back to my mate.

“You knew it would make me throw up?” Y/n asks and looks like she wants to argue, but rubs her stomach again and groans, she looked uncomfortable.

“It only makes you throw up if you are expecting.” My mother turns back around and shows us a bowl with purple pigment inside of it, my eyes widen at the realization, looking back at Y/n I smile as my eyes fill with tears.

“Expecting what?” She asks as she looks at the purple colored pigment, eyes going back up to my mother who’d been smiling, then she looks at me, face softening.

“Why are you crying?” She asks gently but eyes my mother again, I don’t bother explaining much as I sink onto my knees and hug her, bringing her body closer to mine and feeling her sigh as she snuggles into me.

“I feel better when you hold me,” She rests her head on my chest and I chuckle.

“Will one of you tell me whats going on?” She asks sleepily.

“Your child is seeking comfort from ma’itan, you’ll crave being around your mate now more than ever.” My mother fills her in and she pops her head up from my shoulder.

“What child?” She asks and I kiss her cheek.

“You are with child, ma’tìyawn.”

#avatar smut #avatar #avatar the way of water smut #afab reader #human reader #aonung x reader #aonung #aonung x reader smut

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cozzzynook · 6 months ago

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can we plz have some dratchrod where roddy actually DOES know he's sparked?

I want this to be a long post which is why I waited so long to start it.

“You okay there Roddy?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” he assured not looking up from the computer screen as he picked up the twisted sweet metal covered in tungsten shavings.

Drift looked at the snack in complete disgust but quickly hid it when he thought Rodimus was about to look up at him. He shivered in absolute repulsion when Rodimus hummed and added more tungsten to the sweet metal twist and happily ate the disaster not paying him any attention.

“Are ya sure?”

“Yeah, why?”

Rodimus still hadn’t looked up at Drift and the mech was pouting at that. He wanted Roddy’s attention and he was going to get it.

“Oh just, just checking on you,” Drift said wrapping his arms around Rodimus’s neck cables, placing a suggestive kiss to his flare that was oddly cool.

“Are you cold Roddy?”

The words were said with questioning accusation and that made Rodimus look up.

“Its nothing serious Drift, don’t go dragging Ratchet in here on his day off over nothing,” he couldn’t help but stress that last part as his words were falling on deaf audials. That and well, his emotive balance was so out of wack.

“There’s no way you’re fine when you’re cold Roddy, cold. You are never cold. We’re going back to our hab where Ratty can look you over,” Drift hauled Rodimus up by his under arms and that made the mech stumble.

He felt his tanks shifting and he gagged almost purging from the sudden movement.

It did not go unnoticed by Drift whose optics widened before he grabbed the waist bin with unfair speed and held it at his upper chassis where he promptly grabbed the bin and purged the contents of his tanks.

Drift was pinging Ratchet waking the mech from recharge telling him the situation.

Rodimus tried to speak through the purging but he couldn’t even lift his servo up.

He needed Drift’s help lowering back into the chair where he managed to sigh from relief before his last roll of nausea emptied his tank and he was rubbing the plump area with a shaky servo.

“Roddy I swear if you’ve been sick this whole time and have been keeping it from us I will throttle-”

“Leave the threats to me Drift, I’m more than ready to give them,” Rodimus glanced at Ratchet who was looking half well rested as he made his way over to the two.

‘Well there goes my time to myself and the surprise,’ he grumbled before stilling as he rubbed a tender spot on his plating that was trying to make him purge again.

He rolled his optics at Ratchet and Drift completely shocking the two at the sudden shift in attitude.

“I’m not sick, I already know whats wrong with me. So kindly let go and don’t scan me without permission. I’m in my right mind so no actually you can’t,” he frowned towards the end of his statement. Pulling himself free of Drifts hold as he kept a servo on his tank and sat back in his chair.

He was too weak to do more than that, emotive imbalance really took a lot of him when he was upset and so did purging.

“And do kindly tell us just why you haven’t said anything or how you found out without me diagnosing you?”

Ratchet did not take well to being out of the loop on their medical charts and for a moment he remembered the time he fell out because his medicine dosage was wrong and his spark didn’t get the stimulants necessary to regulate it.

He had an audial full from both mechs and wasn’t allowed from their sights for months.

Thats kinda how he ended up in this situation he was in now.

All those months spent bending him over when they were alone..with more than a few times wearing no spike sleeve definitely did it.

He should’ve been more careful.

‘Damnit,’ he tried sniffling discreetly but those two always saw everything. ‘Stupid roller emotives,’ he felt anger flaring again and Drift and Ratchet were looking concerned for him again.

“Roddy? We promise, it’s okay,” Drift assured him bending down putting a servo on his shoulder, “whatever it is we’ll still love you.”

He turned away looking up and had to rush his words, “it’s not..i’ll tell you later. It’s not..bad..I don’t think..its..I’ll tell you later okay? I promise. First Aid already knows he checked me over and yes Ratchet I trust you but sometimes its easier going to First aid since I’m not fucking him.”

He was glad he put it so bluntly. It made Drift laugh and it made Ratchet his usual grouchy self.

“I’ll meet you guys in our hab later? Please?”

They looked beyond hesitant and now that he’s not swinging on anger he completely understands.

‘This is going to be such a long two years, got damnit.’

He vented deeply to calm his nerves and smiled when they agreed.

They were slow to leave and he was glad Ratchet didn’t scan him in secret and that Drift didn’t try any weird techniques to get a reading on his vitals and internal logs.

He laid back in his chair and looked down at his tanks where he sighed again and put a servo on the bump.

He closes his optics and just let himself rest for a while.

He was so thankful the two trusted him and believed him, gave him space to think and relax even after he purged in front of them and got weak.

He didn’t know how they would take him being sparked but he did hope the reaction wouldn’t be bad.

Cleaning his office and turning on a scent cleanser Rodimus left his office and wandered to the upper decks where they kept a large array of things. He wandered until he made it to the door that was always unlocked and stepped inside.

Trying to calm his nerves, he went past the heavier items and moved towards the smaller things. He looked around wondering what would best describe why he was in his current predicament that was easiest to understand.

He couldn’t decide between a stuffed toy, a bottle, a clothing item, or a pacifier.

He wondered if he should just grab it all and hope for the best?

“No..it should be special right?”

He didn’t want to regret telling them, this wouldn’t be something he could do over and thats a big reason he didn’t want to tell them earlier when they were all in bad spirits.

Deep down somewhere within he wanted this. A major part of him was afraid and didn’t ever want to have a sparkling because he disliked so many things about himself and didn’t want to damage another being. But he also use to dream of little pedes waking him and tiny optics opening after a big yawn.

He wanted this, he just..knew it wasn’t fair for someone else to have this with him.

He was not the viable option to have a sparkling with and thats why he struggled so much in keeping them. He still has a minor window to extinguish the new spark but now he would have to explain that to Drift and Ratchet and it would be hard to write that off or dodge them when he was recovering.

Sure he could keep it private since it was his frame but..he didn’t want to do that to them.

He vents a little too hard, rubbing his tanks to keep them from getting too upset and he continues his search.

“Maybe I should just go with something like the stuff toy and bottle? Drift will like the toy and Ratch will say the bottle is practical, he’ll like that.”

He could easily find things they’d like but he doesn’t know or see anything he’ll like.

He just sighs and grabs the two items ready to turn and leave when he spots something.

Walking over, he feels anticipation thrumming and he lifts the small item.

It’s a sparklings blanket.

The blanket has the old stitchings of Nyonian stars and he drops the bottle and stuff toy on top of something else as he holds the blanket close.

He feels his optics watering and he holds the cloth close, crying fluid into it as static sparks in his vox.

He stays there for a good while, just holding the blanket he feels a connection to.

Its not his.

Everything of his was destroyed during the fall of Nyon but this. This is a piece of history that can’t be forgotten or recreated.

Old servos made this for a loved one and while he feels guilty its not his loved one they made it for he feels honored being able to use it.

Looking at his chronometer, Rodimus leaves the room, taking the galaxy themed pacifier with him before leaving towards their hab.

When he quietly enters, he glances around to see the two recharging on the couch with the tv on.

They were waiting for him it seems.

He feels bad and carefully shifts them so they’re more comfortable laying down as he moves the pillow and puts a blanket over them.

He turns the tv off and cleans the area, holding the blanket in his arms with the pacifier inside.

He places the blanket between them so it rests on their touching chassis and he gazes at them before going to their berth and laying down.

He hopes that in the morning when the two wake they’ll be happy with the news.

He’s not sure they’ll even get it.

But he does know one thing.

He’ll do this.

With or without them.

And when morning comes and he wakes to Drift excitedly shaking him awake with Ratchet smiling as he feels on his tanks, he knows everything will be okay.

#dratchrod #drift #rodimus #ratchet #mechpreg #mention of abortion #no abortion #sparklings #drift x rodimus x ratchet #rodimus x drift #rodimus x ratchet #drift x ratchet #dratchet

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