#I always feel like such a freak and im so worried im gonna swing too hard and put ppl off
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omg omg omg I’ve been Embarassed to have anyone over while living with family and also have been worried that im worthless as a person and friend for a long time, but my pal from college who I hung out with the other day wants to come over and hang out and I said ok!!! They don’t mind that I don’t have my own place and I’m gonna show them how to do some makeup basics and if all goes well, i will officially introduce a new disciple into my Good Ass Popcorn Cult (cult of people who recognize how fucking exceptional I am at making stove popcorn)
#im so happy they still like me#I still like them#and I’ve been making more friends and reaching out without being scared im not allowed#and some are online#but I forgive them 😌#ellis and ren if u see this u r the realest online homies who im not deeply in love with#that’s just Julian :3#also I think I was ok at my friends party?#same friend from post it was a game night#I always feel like such a freak and im so worried im gonna swing too hard and put ppl off#but it was great#it was easy#I don’t remember the last time being with people was easy like that#I feel like the sun is up a little#it’s been so fucking lonely#personally I mean NOT feeling great abt the world#but unfortunately we do keep truckin#ok that’s pretty much how I feel about all of this I love you goodbye
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I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?
VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery
ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny
but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out
in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it
besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!
tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood
when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)
actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#tw guns#<- for that glock in the corner . sorry#actually it looks like he's at gunpoint in that one and just going teehee about it#he looooooves tormenting tome .and tome loves tormenting him. it's their favorite pastimes#i don't rly like the second one too much tbh the sleeves are weird but i think that's just the Nature of how poofy they can get#oh this is a great time to talk abt their dynamic. sorry.this ask isn't abt that.but now it is#so i realize that tome and ritsu ??? don't rly interact in canon at all. and neither do tome and teru . as a matter of fact#but consider. uhm.what ifthey did <3 GVYIEAV#like i said they're all So incredibly normal it'll make for a great time#^ genuinely i do think so actually. most of the time anyway#i touched on it a lil bit in recondite but i rly like the idea of mob ritsu tome and teru all being a friend group#teru would undoubtedly piss tome off sometimes she'd call him out on his bullshit#but like.in terms of the canon timeline i think post-mob teru would Totally listen to her#and take what she says abt How he is into consideration. he's trying to rebuild himself into somebody better#teru and ritsu already have a dynamic in canon but it feels pretty loose and it isn't fully explored at all#i think they work together rly well tho. there's no real evidence to the contrary iirc i think they work together in canon quite well#they think alike in terms of fighting#and in a setting like this‚ once teru is on the same page as ritsu on zombies‚ they're prolly a pretty damn good team#there's a lot of room for things to go wrong tho#if i had to sum it up rly succinctly it'd be: ritsu's motive is fear‚ tome's motive is curiosity‚ and teru's motive is power#what i mean by teru's being power is Not the pre-mob teru ''wanting'' to be powerful and unstoppable#i mean teru wants to have power over everything that is trying to hurt them#he doesn't Want to cower he wants to Fight tooth and nail#and i think ritsu's fear versus tome's curiosity and teru's drive of power conflicts a lot#ritsu is passive in the sense that he'll do anything in his power to avoid altercations with anything to order to keep mob safe#he isn't Active until something goes Wrong. and usually things go Wrong when teru and tome rush ahead#WOW sorry i went on a rant that was Completely unrelated to the fucking question. im at the 30 tag limit bye
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OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY EPISODE 9 ITS TIME FOR EPISODE 9 LETS GOOOO
look, I knew they were rich, I just didnt realise HOW rich they were
OML NO WAY HE PULLED THE SUGAR DADDY CARD
AND SAILOM'S GOING ALONG WITH IT HOLY FRICK NUGGETS THIS IS HILARIOUS
guys you dont need that much food for two people, you're gonna be sick if you eat that much
AAAAAAAA THE SWINGS SCENE IS COMING
IVE BEEN ANTICIPATING THE SWINGS SCENE FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE MONTHS (but in reality is probably only like. a little over one month.)
HES SO WORRIED ABOUT HIS NONGGG
NO IM GONNA CRY
HE SAID HE WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR SAILOM AND NOW SAILOM'S GONE MISSING
oh you bastard
this is worse than all the previous times
also: I wonder why this has happened several times before
maybe think about that for a bit
maybe actually TALK TO and CONNECT WITH your son for once rather than assuming you know him when you literally dont know ANYTHING about your OWN FREAKING SON
fhedsfhsdfdsfjsdhgjsdhgjfdhbjvdfhkgvber I love them so much
I CANT TAKE IT, THE SUGAR DADDY/BABY STUFF IS TOO FUNNY TO ME
bro fell asleep that quickly? we sure he didn't actually die on the spot?
GUYNAWATIMEGUYNAWATIMEGUYNAWATIMEGUYNAWATIMEGUYNAWATIMEAAAAAGPUIEWHSDGIOPEHSDOB
"its your friend" "its your friend" "its your friend" "its your friend" they're both so stupid and I love them
HE BOUGHT THE KIDS A NEW BALL THATS SO SWEET HOLY CHEESE CURDS IM GONNA CRY
KANG WITH CHILDREN IS SOMETHING I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED
THIS IS SO PURE AND WHOLESOME AND LOVELY ITS TOO MUCH FOR MY SAD LITTLE HEART
THE CANS ARE SO BIG IN THEIR TINY LITTLE HANDS WHAT THE HELL
one of my favourite things is how aware kang is of sailom's ticklishness
he noticed it when he kissed sailom on the cheek for the first time
he always giggles and moves his head away slightly, and kang notices that and takes advantage of that by KISSING HIS BOYFRIEND ON THE CHEEK AND GIVING HIM AS MANY SNIFF-KISSES AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE WHENEVER HE POSSIBLY CAN because he thinks its cute
its so adorable and I love them
HES SO SILLYYYYYYYYYY
this kid in the yellow is my favourite
THE WAY HE DELIVERS HIS LINES
THE KID'S VOICE
IT'S ADORABLE
I dont think I have maternal or paternal instincts. I do not like kids, nor do I want to have children like ever.
HOWEVER. sometimes I wonder if maybe I do have parental instincts. this is one of those times.
another one of those times was with jigsaw in os2 of vice versa, you literally can't walk away from vvs os without COMPLETELY adoring jigsaw with your entire soul
WHY IS HE SO ADORABLE
THIS FREAKING CHILD
this kid is suddenly more important to me than my own life
protect this kid. let him be happy and then to grow all rich and famous, so that he can follow in the footsteps of the kind wealthy strangers who bought soccer materials for him and his friends so they could have even more fun
oh honey
im sorry, but no
unfortunately thats not how the world works
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
PLEASE PUT GUYNAWA IN THE SAME ROOM COACH, PLEASE
YEEEESS
YES
YES YES YES YES YES
THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO PROGRESS FURTHER THIS EPISODE, I KNOW ITTTTT
im holding out hope for a guynawa kiss this episode but its probably not likely
bRO
AND WITH THAT EXPRESSION? sailom there's no hope for you buddy, im sorry, you're gonna be having a bath with him
sailom's face, I can't
hes so
OML PFFT
SORRY I KNOW ITS LIKE A SERIOUS SCENE OR WHATEVER BUT LIKE-
ITS SO FUNNY TO ME FOR NO REASON
anyway, my 30 images have been used up, time for a second post
#quodekash disregards sleep because of dangerous romance#dangerous romance#dangerous romance series#dangerous romance the series#kangsailom#kanghansailom#sailomkang#sailomkanghan#guynawa#nawaguy#perthchimon#chimonperth#marcpawin#pawinmarc#winmarc#marcwin#win pawin#marc pahun#pawin kulkaranyawich#chimon wachirawit#perth tanapon
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tavern music
synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)
warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)
wc: 1.7k
a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡
He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.
“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”
“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”
After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”
After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room.
You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.
You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends.
It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.
Except for one thing.
You had a boyfriend.
There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not.
Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you.
But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.
He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”
No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.
You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”
“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”
“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.
“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”
“What?”
“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.
There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’
Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.
But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.
“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry.
“Hey, where are you right now?”
“I’m home, why?”
“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.
“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”
“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call?
“He was with Bob.”
When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park?
“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.”
“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.
“I’m sorry, y/n.”
There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together.
But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.
All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.
The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.
So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.
“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.”
Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”
“Yeah.”
“And Bob’s been your friend since-”
“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?”
“When I came home.”
“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.
“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”
“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.
He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”
“I don’t want water.”
“Then what do you want?”
“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.”
Fuck. How could he say no to that?
So he stayed.
#corpse#corpse husband#corpse x reader#corpsehusband#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband fanfiction#corpse husband fanfic#corpse husband fluff#corpse fanfiction#corpse fanfic#corpse fluff#gender neutral reader
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period headcanons w/ some hq bois
Okie dokie, so i know i do a lot of haikyuu freaking chubby x peep...but lemme change for this one....it mah periods time ssooo I’m doin this becuase i feel like other peeps need this while they are on there’re period ...idk if this whole thing even makes sense or not
Warnings: cursing,
This is obviously a female reader so yeah....
I’m sorry if this is really short- i meant like, short lil things for each person...help i need speech
Hinata
- This sweet boi wants to do everything for you but you know he ain’t a mcfucking octopus that could do 8 things at once
- he does do the best he can tho
- and if your in one of those mood swings when your hormones go wack-a-doodle, hell try to put up with it but if you get to the point that its your excuse he be like: ok, thats it...*hugs* -seconds later- everything’s is fine and normal
- “ do you need anything?” ‘maybe like...pads orrr”
-” Y E S”
- “ok, ok whatever you need princess”
- when he does get the pads, while halfway walking to the nearest drug store.....( like CVS, walgreens, rite aid etc...) he realizes he doesnt know which ones to buy you, the wings? The night pads? Which size???
- he goes into the pads section...and just stands there, staring at all the ones to buy you
- so he came home with six packs of total different sizes and styles
- you thank him for trying...but he could’ve always texted you which one s to buy tho
- i think that Hinata would be great at being the lil sidekick on your period weeks
- if you want cuddles- done, boom, bam...he already holding ya
- chocolate? He’s out at the door for a journey
- Hinata will be like a jumping rabbit if you get up from any surface
- “ nope, you aren’t going to move....what do you need?”
- “ to stretch”
- “you could stretch in bed but dont get up”
- all this bb just wants you to be as comfortable as possible
Tanaka
- he would be. Like “oh...wait oHHH that...thing, i remember saeko always screaming becuase of those”
- but ya boi tryna to be noice, but doesnt really help becuase he doesnt want to get in harms fucking way
- but ya need ya help
- does not let or bring you eat chocolate or some dairy things becuase his research cuz he carin’ like dat, that it makes you more uncomfortable even tho women crave it during the torture
- but but but but, he willlll cuddle and snuggle with you
- more than normally- ifff...thats even possible
- “hey, why are you laying in the bed like your about to die or something-”
- “becuase i FEEELLLLL LIKE IM DYINGGGG RNNNNNN”
-” okkkkkayyy, just chill, i will give ya some mac’ & chez”
- “how the fuck is that gonna help, and also the last time you went into the kitchen to cook something you almost burnt the house”
- “so much for believing in me”
- “tanakaaaaAAAaa’
- “ok ok, ill be right back”
Tsukishima
- this is the face when you explain about periods sucking^
- also like tanaka, does not give or let you eat dairy, he smart like tat
- of course, he’s the more prepared one on this list
- he plans your periods, secretly
- he is always cautious about the bed being bloody the next morning when the pad gives up
- will. Ha;f-assed tolerate the mood swings, like your so freaking sensitive to everything he says
- “you bleeding up more than in the World War Two and one combined”
-”TSUKI, wtf do you not get fucking periods??”
- “yes i do but-”
- “NO FUCKING BUTS!”
- “y/n your bleeding from your fucking pussy, why cant i make a joke out of it?”
- “_SnIfF- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you like this,..please dont yell or get mad-SnIfF- at me”
- “ok, do you need anything while i scream into the pillow walk to the kitchen to cook something to eat?”
- “nope:D”
- “i-...ok whatever”
Asahi
- he quite scared tho
- like, not scared but-...worrying
- i think he 100 percent will giv you the sweetest of belly rubs
- if you look like you dyin, he’s there for you
- he may or may not give you your favorite treats
- will always text you during class or anything of the sort to ask if you alright
-cramping up? This boi gotchu, need pads? He’s in the women in the hygiene aisle..painkillers? You got them
- when you bleed on anything, he’s like the maid that cleans up everything that you mess up
- asahi will do anything that you request him
- “hey, do you need anything?”
-”...cuddles?”
-here comes the cuddle monster, face to face nuzzling his nose and face into your neck, pressing soft and warm kisses
- when the mood swings come into town,he alright with it..his sister already done that wit him so he’s experienced it
- “which pack do you usually buy?”
- “mmm-*the ones that you usually buy*-”
- “okie dokie, all be back. I dont want my lover to be out of anything during this week<3″
- “mkay babe, cya..thank ya”
- “no worries!”
A/n: i sorry that this is very short, writers block i guess? And it like 1am too soooo
#asahi#tsukishima#hinata#tanaka#tanaka x reader#asahi x reader#tsukishima x reader#hinata x reader#periods#haikyuu x periods#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#hinata x you#tanaka xyou#asahi x you#tsukishima x you
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💭
Ayyy Congrats Chlo! Can I get a 💭 of Noah when his girl is pregnant? Like how is he through it snd when she's in labor?
no more requests, the sleepover is over, I'm just finishing up what's in my inbox!
I got so carried away with this
he would be so good by the labour stage
but lets be real, he takes a hot minute to get adjusted
now, don't get me wrong, this was planned
and he is damn excited to be a dad
you've been taking folic acid and vitamin D and all the good stuff
and you were both elated and crying when the test came back positive
but he does take a moment to actually realise what it means
like he did not think that far through, if he's honest
rubbing your back throughout morning sickness
but like, he doesn't quite get it
you have a significantly lowered sex drive
breast tenderness and morning sickness and he is kinda sexually frustrated
it takes him a moment to adjust to that because y'all had been pretty active before, and he has to take care of himself now
not to mention, you're a lot more sleepy
he knew you'd get sleepy, but he expected it to come later, not as early in the pregnancy as the first few weeks
so there's a lot of things that have to be cancelled
like concerts and things
but he was looking forwards to them
and it causes some arguments to begin with
like when he went to the concert with boyd instead
and you'd put a blanket and pillow on the couch for him
or the argument that came with him insisting that he could ride the bike a little longer
and the little strop he gets in when you throw out all the foods on the list your midwife gave you after your first antenatal appointment
"you can't eat them, but I can! why do we have to throw it all out?"
"because you're supposed to be supporting me!"
"I am supporting you, but I still want to eat my food!"
"fine, keep it then!"
and he feels bad two weeks later when you go to game night
and derek and stiles have laid out an awesome looking spread
with charcuterie boards and cheeses and crackers and wine
and he knows how much you love all of that stuff
and you literally can't have any of it
in fact, you brought your own meal, which is a salad and plain crackers and it's not exactly game night material
and so he does some research into food and writes down everything you can and can't have
and he watches a video on best recipes for pregnancy and he makes one for you
a little surprise dinner for when you get home from work
"what's all this?"
"well, you know, your meals look kinda' miserable. but, you're literally growing our child, so you should get to eat nice things, and I googled a good recipe for pregnancy safe meals."
noah getting laid that night
and afterwards, when you're asleep on his chest, he realises how easy it is when he stops thinking it's gonna be a struggle
at around about 7 weeks, you start getting more emotional
crying more at movies and getting mad at random things and being a lot clingier than usual
which he doesn't mind, of course
but it freaks him out sometimes
"noah, what the fuck?" while in tears and he's freaking out because he has no idea how bad he fucked up or what he did "there's a dead bird in the garden, noah, that's got to be some kind of omen, oh my god, what if you die? why would you just die, noah?"
so he cleans up the dead bird
but now you're mad because you're worried about him abandoning you
"baby, if I was gonna' abandon you then why would I have married you, huh?"
and it takes him a hot minute to get used to that too
however, he also learns how to direct it at other people for his own amusement
"hey, baby, did you know that stiles wears socks to bed, even in the summer?"
"you wear socks to sleep in the summer? you're sick, stiles. you're sick. I don't want you near my child, you're weird, you and your socks and your sweaty toes can stay away. you're so gross."
"what the fuck?"
and noah just laughing his ass off about it
you also have to pee a lot more so noah has to take that into account
you're still fully able to go hiking and do the things the two of you love doing
but he has to plan in your pee breaks
not to mention, you're still throwing up every morning
so, he can't plan too much, but he does plan a little weekend getaway for you both
with a privately rented cabin so that you can throw up each morning in peace and don't feel like you're being watched
panicking when you get spotting at week 8
and that really throws you both through a loop
rushing to the hospital and he's unfamiliar with driving your car
so it stresses him out to know he's useless in emergencies
it turns out to be nothing
but noah is pretty sure he's never cried that hard
not to mention, in a public bathroom, just so he didn't scare you
and when he gets home, like, fuck, it's a reality check for him
he starts getting driving lessons
he has a license and all but he's rusty
and he wants to be prepared, so he starts taking lessons
he also starts checking out bigger cars for the two of you
because your little car won't do in a few years
"you know, not that I'm complaining, but I've noticed you aren't wearing bras anymore."
watching your cheeks go fucking warm as you get all embarrassed
"do you wanna go shopping, get some comfier ones?"
"you are gonna go pregnancy bra shopping with me?"
"well, considering how proud I am when I get to go regular bra shopping with you, I think pregnancy bra shopping is the same."
going with you to get tests and scans done
literally crying again when you hear the heartbeat
"we made that, oh my god."
texting everyone he knows when you get your due date estimate
holding your hands when you have to get your pregnancy vaccinations
actually taking notes when the midwife starts talking about making a birthing plan and getting things sorted before you get to the third trimester
and he does a lot of research on birthing plans and starts prepping
going on every shopping trip with you
"I want to get the nursery painted, like, a while before the baby comes. so we can air it out for fumes."
"we can go check samples out this weekend."
"well, I mean, that's soon, like, really?"
"yeah, whatever you want, sunshine."
getting laid again
and when the morning sickness goes away, he starts getting his late morning sleep back
starting to get self-conscious about extra pregnancy weight gain
and noah doing everything he can to reassure you
but as you get into the second trimester, your sex drive suddenly jumps back up
and he fucking loves it
because that's a lot of unprotected sex and a lot of making out and a lot of touching
and honestly, something about it is really turning him on
"baby, I don't know if it's your glow or the fact that I am literally so in love with you, or maybe the months of not having sex, but I've literally never been this hard."
"shut up and fuck me, you can compliment me later."
"'kay."
throughout your second trimester, you get everything done
the nursery gets decorated and the furniture is built and it's perfect
there's only the little touches now, like mobiles and clothes and such
he also bought the new car, and traded yours in
and he arranged for you to get lessons in it too, so you know how to drive a bigger car before you get too pregnant to drive safely
crying the first time the baby moves. so much fucking crying.
and getting so excited every time
it's few and far between in the middle of your second trimester, but it's so meaningful
starting to go to pregnancy classes
and he also signs you both up for a pregnancy exercise class
that is supposedly meant to make labour easier because of the pelvic floor exercises
having a few days where you're nervous around him
thinking he did something wrong
"I think I'm gonna want to take an epidural."
"that's what you've been so worried about?"
"well, yeah. I read all these pamphlets about how it's so controversial and sometimes the dads don't like it, an-"
"I want you to be happy, okay? it's gonna be a happy time, so whatever you want, we'll do, okay? I want you to smile when you look back on the birth of our baby."
"I love you, so damn much."
"I love you so damn much."
finding out the sex of the baby, neither of you wants to wait
telling everyone it's a secret until the baby shower
your bump really starting to come in at the end of the second trimester
as well as headaches and backaches and stretch marks
and noah always making sure to kiss it better
a lot of nice warm baths and washing your hair for you
the baby starts responding to touch and sound, though
noah starts talking to the baby a lot
telling them about your day and rubbing lotion on your stomach
the baby getting hiccups for the first time
in the beginning of the second trimester, you start choosing names
more tears when you settle on a name
the third trimester is where you really start feeling it
you’ve got mood swings, you’ve got backache, and you’re getting a lot of odd cravings
all of which noah indulges for you
some make him gag and he actually cannot watch you eat it
banning food in bed
it caused an argument but he won that one
announcing the gender at your baby shower
you and noah dressing in white while waiting for everyone’s guesses
it’s a girl!
you announced it via a little cake cutting ceremony that was pink inside
using those last few weeks to decorate the nursery with teddies and buy clothes
when you finally go into labour it’s actually while you’re hanging out with stiles and derek
thinking it’s just cramps for a while
because you’ve been having cramps, you think it’s fine
until
“uh, (Y/N), you know I love you, but did you pee on my couch?”
“excuse me, I did not pee on your couch an- oh my god, they’re contractions.”
noah literally choking on his drink
you rubbing his back as he tries to cough it up
panicking so much that his whole fucking birthing plan goes out of the window
“the bag is at home!”
“what about your pillow?”
“fuck! fuck! fuck!”
derek is the only calm one because stiles is;
“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE AN UNCLE, GIMME A NEICE!”
and noah is
“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE A FATHER!”
so derek coordinates it all while you just kinda sit there and watch it all
“okay, well, her contractions are now, like, eight minutes apart, so maybe we should get a move on.”
telling stiles to take you to the hopsital while he takes noah to pick everything up
and off you go
stiles is fucking buzzing the whole way there
calling your hospital to inform them you’re on your way
getting to the hospital and being greeted by your midwife
“lovely to see you again, mom and dad”
“I DIDN’T MAKE THAT.”
“thanks, stiles.” your midwife being confused. “this is the uncle, they’re twins. dad is on his way.”
“I’M THE UNCLE!”
“stop shouting stiles, the baby won’t come out, you’re scaring it back up.”
“sorry.”
stiles holding your hand
noah arriving five minutes later with more than enough stuff
“I didn’t know which pjs you’d want after so I brought options!”
after a good few hours of labour, and noah being there for all of it, your baby is born
literally crashing right after and sleeping for a while
“‘bout fuckin time you woke up, noah won’t let me see my niece ‘til you have. hurry up.”
“I will punch you so hard you’ll be glad you’re in a hospital.”
“that’s my wife”
“sorry.”
meeting your daughter with noah, and having a moment
because he’s put her in a little pink striped onesie and she’s got a baby beanie on
“she’s got your nose.”
“you can’t tell that, she’s like six hours old.”
“i can hope.”
finally taking her to meet stiles who practically dies on the spot
he cries a lot when he finally gets to hold his niece
“stiles, derek, meet ‘hope claudia stilinski’.”
#9ksleepover#hope stilinski is like emma rapp#i made a new baby character#she’s my new au character pls#i love her#don’t steal her
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For your Bad Things Happen Bingo Card, how about "Passing Out From Pain" with Ladynoir? I'm a sucker for Ladybug freaking out if something bad happens to Chat Noir ;)
pairing: ladynoir
word count: 3981
warnings: character injury
a/n: this is over a year late im so sorry but i hope you enjoy ;o;
Read on AO3
__________________________________________
The Parisian sky was dark and cloudy as rain poured down heavily, soaking Ladybug’s hair. She futilely tried to shield herself from the barrage of droplets with her hands.
The rain came on rather suddenly, there were sparse clouds earlier but it was otherwise clear. She’d been sitting on a rooftop waiting to begin patrol.
Chat Noir was late. Though it wasn’t uncommon for him to show up later than her, Ladybug couldn’t help her gnawing concern this time around.
These past few days there’s been something off about him. It took her a while to notice since she’d been worried about Adrien, who was recently discharged from the hospital after having been in an accident.
She could never quite place her finger on it because he’d always throw on that big cheeky grin of his before she could catch his prior expression. Chat fought the same as he always did for the most part, but she noticed that he got knocked over easier and he would breathe rather laboriously at the end of their battles.
Ladybug knew her partner wasn’t well, in what manner was beyond her. The thought had crossed that perhaps he was resting, which would ease her mind, but he would’ve called in by now to tell her. He could always be too fatigued to transform if he was exhausted, but Plagg would have shown up by now if that were the case.
She would remain stubbornly at their meeting spot until there was a sign or if she ended up caving into the weather. Even if it was just to kick him and send him home to rest.
Ladybug attempted to shake off some of the water that soaked her, pulling out her yo-yo and spinning it over her head to shield her from the rain. It was much better, her arm would get tired after a while, but she was determined to tough it out.
It turned out that toughing out wouldn’t have to last long, as she heard a splash and a thud from behind her. Her heart leapt up to her throat in anticipation, only to drop to the pit of her stomach when she turned around.
There Chat Noir was, a soft sheen covering him from the rain, soaked to the bone. Aside from his slightly hunched posture and dull eyes that wouldn’t brighten despite his soft smile, his skin looked pale. It was undeniably pale.
Ladybug let her yo-yo drop from its rapid twirling, placing it back on her hip before scurrying to stand up and approach him.
Chat’s smile strained, trying to give her a better one, though her look of concern didn’t waver for a moment.
“Chat…”
Chat Noir grimaced in return, his smile wasn’t getting him anywhere.
“Hey, Bug,” he tried, attempting to keep his demeanor as straight as he could.
“You look terrible, what are you doing out here?” Ladybug said with brows furrowed in both worry and frustration.
Chat opened and closed his mouth a few times before pursing his lips.
“And it’s pouring out here, you’re gonna make yourself sick! Are you nuts?!” she exclaimed, both her hands fists at her sides.
Chat’s ears drooped atop his head, he looked away in shame remaining silent. Ladybug’s features softened as she gazed at him, shoving her frustration down in an attempt to calm down. Her hand started to reach out to him only to pull away, guilt tugging at her heart for yelling at him.
“I’m sorry… I—… I shouldn’t have yelled,” she said quietly, looking down, “I’ve been worried about you.”
Chat’s eyes returned to her, his smile was much more genuine than the one he was giving her earlier, “It’s alright, I’m alright. I guess I kind of deserved that.”
Ladybug chewed on the inside of her cheek before picking her head back up. He was a lot closer to her face than before, he looked much worse. His eyes weren’t as wide open as they usually were, his lips were paler, each breath he took seemed almost tedious. There were slight tremors that ran through his body occasionally, which could have been because he was cold, but his winces that came after made her think otherwise. It made her chest clench.
“You should go rest, Kitty. You don’t look well,” she whispered while placing a hand on his cheek, caressing it with her thumb, brushing droplets away. There was a brief look of surprise that flickered in his eyes from the action.
Chat sighed, his face pressing into her palm, “If My Lady insists, I suppose I can leave patrol to you.”
“I mean it, Chat. I don’t wanna see you again until you’re feeling better. I need you, but I need you healthy, got it? If you’re sick or hurt, you need to be resting,” Ladybug said, pushing his soaking bangs away from his face.
Chat glanced away, his expression was unreadable but he nodded.
“Good,” Ladybug sighed and pulled her hand away, Chat pouted at the loss of her touch. She wasn’t completely satisfied with his answer though, hesitating before asking, “It’s nothing I need to be worried about, right?”
He let out a soft chuckle before smiling and brushing her dripping bangs away like she had done to him, “I’m not dying if that's what you were wondering. I promise.” He had said it with such sincerity Ladybug couldn’t help but stare at him with wide eyes. There wasn’t a joke about nine lives or a hint of nonchalance in his answer, he was being honest which filled her with relief.
“Do I look that bad?” He snorted, tilting his head to the side endearingly. Ladybug could feel her lip quivering a bit as she turned her head away. “Yes, you do.” she wanted to say.
She heard Chat breathe in a bit like he was about to say something, only for her to suddenly be tackled over to the ground. A loud bang followed, making her ears ring.
Chat painfully groaned from above her, making her snap her gaze up to check if he’d gotten hit. There wasn’t any visible damage, but she still gingerly held him as she got up.
“Can you get up?” she said with urgency, glancing around to make sure another hit wouldn’t come flying in. Chat Noir nodded, so she held him from his forearms to help him up. Ladybug brought his arm around her shoulders, holding him firmly at his waist as she pulled out her yo-yo to swing away, not catching his scrunched-up face.
Though the minute they were airborne, there was a bombardment of large spikes flying in their direction. The rain splashing in her face wasn’t helping her as she tried to maneuver away, she ended up skidding as she landed in the street.
An odd figure approached them from a distance, humanoid with tentacle-like limbs it walked with that sprouted from its back, pitch black and oozing goop. An Akuma that looked like it could have come straight out of some sort of horror movie.
Of course, there would be an Akuma in the midst of pouring rain and her partner basically out of commission. Ladybug was plotting the types of violence she’d resort to when she confronted Hawkmoth.
She spun her yo-yo over their heads to protect them from the rain, though it was kind of pointless since they were already utterly drenched.
The Akuma suddenly lurched forward towards them and in hindsight, maybe she should have spun the yo-yo in front of them to protect them from it. It was fast, too fast for her to move. Chat Noir pulled out his staff from beside her and extended it, quickly moving in front of her to block the incoming limb about to ram into them.
He tried to push it back, only for another one to coil around him and toss him to the side. “Chat!” Ladybug gasped and began to sprint over to him, only to get whipped in the opposite direction. She landed with a thud on her back, the wind knocking out of her lungs.
Just as she began to get up, another spike came flying in, going just over her head and impaling the wall next to her. She whipped around to look at it then back at the unnamed Akuma. The spikes were its limbs, they solidified when they disconnected from its back, growing back promptly after. How quaint.
It began to make a move towards her partner, who still hadn’t gotten back up. Ladybug saw red as she tore the spike out of the wall and chucked it as hard as she could at the Akuma.
She sprinted over to Chat Noir, relieved to see him blinking and breathing, albeit, weakly. She wasted no time tucking her hands behind his back and knees, lifting him up from the ground.
Ladybug whipped her head up to check on the Akuma, who was currently immobilized, tentacles stuck to the ground from the spike she had thrown. It was starting to regenerate, but it was enough time for her to get Chat somewhere safe.
She made haste, sprinting back home, up to her balcony. Her home was decently far away from where the Akuma was.
Chat was quiet the whole time, as she laid him down on her sling chair and pulled out a throw blanket to put over him. Ladybug would’ve put him in her room, but there was no way for her to justify putting him in a stranger’s house. It would have been better to hide him and protect him from the rain, but it was too risky. The drape above the chair was enough to shield him from the rain, thankfully.
“Is this alright?” Ladybug whispered as she tucked him in. He only nodded and gave her a brief smile.
She furrowed her brows at him before jolting back when she heard a distant crash. The Akuma must have gotten free. She had to go back.
Ladybug turned back towards him, reassuringly grabbing his wrist, “I’ll be back as soon as possible, okay?” she said, backing away and swinging in the direction of the noise.
The pit of her chest was filled with anxiety the entire time, her gut practically screaming to go back and stay with him. There was something wrong, she could see it in his eyes.
She took a little longer than she would’ve liked fighting the Akuma, her frustration growing as the battle went on and causing her to continuously slip up.
Ladybug didn’t think she’d ever smashed an akumatized object so hard in her entire life.
She managed to keep the Akuma far from her home the entire time, which didn’t make her any less urgent to get back to her balcony.
The Akuma turned out to be a director who’d gotten upset at the refusal of promoting their horror movie. Ladybug didn’t pay much attention to anything else, her partner was the only one on her mind.
She promptly ran away, out of sight after casting her miracle cure, detransforming in an alleyway to feed Tikki before transforming once again.
Ladybug returned to find Chat Noir sitting up, his legs dangling off the side of the chair, watching raindrops gather from the brim of the sheet above him and dripping down. His eyes had this sort of mesmerization in them that was akin to what a cat might have.
She let out a puff of air, he looked okay.
One of his cat ears twitched at the sound of her footsteps before he turned his attention towards her.
Ladybug smiled gently at him, "Hey, are you feeling any better?" she asked.
Chat Noir paused for a brief moment before nodding, "Yeah, I think I'm alright," he said, his voice rather quiet.
This was probably the moment she should send him off to go home, part of her felt like that would be wrong.
Before she could say anything to him, he started to get up.
"I should get going now," he said as he walked past her and towards the railing. He barely spared her a glance, he sounded a bit rushed and panicked.
Ladybug turned around to protest, but he just as quickly hunched over and stumbled with a hiss of pain.
She grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him, her prior panic filling her all over again. The moment she held him, he leaned into her, knees wobbling.
"Chat? Chat, what's going on?"
He didn't respond, he had a grimace painted over his features and he was panting.
Chat Noir went limp in her arms in mere moments.
"Chat!" Ladybug cried out, lowering him down to the ground to lay his head on her lap.
She quickly checked his pulse and breathing, both of which were perfectly stable. He had fainted.
What was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to take him to the hospital?
There was no fever or anything, so he wasn't ill, he was clearly in pain. Ladybug couldn't think of anything other than that he must have been injured somehow, badly at that. Which made her worry if he was bleeding at all under the suit.
She tried tapping on his cheek a few times to rouse him, but he wouldn't budge.
Her best bet was to wait for him to wake up to see if he could go home or if she needed to take him to the emergency room.
Even if he was mostly alright, she wasn't entirely sure if she trusted him enough to not pass out again on his way back.
The rain had at least eased up, she lifted him up bridal style and carefully laid him back on her chair.
Ladybug was conflicted, they were fairly exposed up on the balcony and both had gotten utterly soaked. She didn't want him to catch a cold on top of everything else.
She debated between walking into the bakery as Ladybug to ask her parents for help or jumping straight into her room to try and care for him.
There was also Alya, she could call Alya for help, she'd understand. Right?
She thought about detransforming and saying Ladybug asked Marinette to watch him, but then she'd feel like a jerk for ditching him as Ladybug.
She placed her head down on Chat's lap and groaned, "Why do you have to do this to me, kitty?" She huffed and took his hand, caressing it with her thumb.
She was just going to have to take him into her room as Ladybug, that seemed like the best option. Her parents would have been ideal, but they were definitely busy in the bakery at this time of day.
Ladybug crawled over to her trapdoor, pulling it open before standing up. She picked him up, adjusting her grip so his head was leaning on her and not bobbing about.
She carefully lowered him onto her bed, gingerly placing his head down first on her pillow. Taking another pillow, she tucked it beneath his legs. They were both dripping water onto her sheets, she'd have to wash them later.
After making sure he looked comfortable enough, she climbed down to grab some clean towels and a warm fluffy blanket that had been sprawled on her chaise.
She set the blanket to the side, unfolding a towel first to tap his face and neck dry before going at his hair. His hair was still damp, but at least it wasn't sopping wet anymore. She then dried off the rest of him, chucking the wet towel to the ground when she was done to pick it up later.
Ladybug dried herself just a bit with the second towel she’d picked up before tossing it along with the other. She picked up the fluffy blanket she had set to the side, tucking him in and pulling her comforter atop him as well.
Letting out a sigh, she let herself lay down beside him, staring at his calm expression. Her hand moved up to brush his bangs away, lingering beside one of his leathery cat ears. She gently scratched right behind it, usually that was enough to get him to purr. It was a little unsettling how he didn't even twitch.
She had to place her hand on his chest just to reassure herself that his heart was beating normally and his breathing was even.
Ladybug closed her eyes, keeping her palm to his chest. There wasn't much else she could do other than to stay by his side until he awoke.
The number of things possibly wrong with him kept flitting through her mind. She wondered how bad it was and if he had family at home worrying about him right now if he was supposed to be resting. In that moment, she couldn’t help but briefly be reminded of Adrien. The extent of his injuries was unknown, but it seemed pretty serious from what she’d heard. Adrien was in a car accident, her only knowledge of the situation was that it seemed intentional and was currently being investigated. If she thought about it, the timing of Chat’s unwell demeanor matched up pretty closely but… Adrien would never sneak out after sustaining such injuries, right? Chat Noir had been out and about for a while as well, she didn’t think it was anything severe.
She was being silly, it was just her concern speaking.
Chat Noir shifted a bit, causing Ladybug to immediately sit up and efficiently end her train of thought. A small noise emitted from his throat before his eyes fluttered open.
“Chat! You’re awake!” Ladybug gasped, throwing her arms around him but in no way hard enough to inflict pain.
Chat Noir looked dazed, shifting his head around to take in his surroundings.
“Are we in Marinette’s room?”
Ladybug felt her face pale, pulling away.
“Oh, right. I uh… I panicked and I asked this girl for help and she was kind enough to let us borrow her room,” she fibbed with a nervous laugh.
“... I see,” Chat replied, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, “Make sure to tell her I said thank you… and that I’m sorry for any trouble I caused.”
“Of course, I’ll bring her ‘thank you’ flowers or something, no worries. She didn’t mind helping out at all,” Ladybug waved off. She hesitated for a moment, pursing her lips, “We were both really worried about you, you know? I was scared half to death… You weren’t any trouble at all, I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said, smiling reassuringly and ruffling his hair before pausing and pulling her hand back.
“You are okay, right? Should I be taking you to the hospital now or—”
Chat Noir chuckled a little at her demeanor, finding it endearing, “No, it’s alright. I think I’ll just tell someone I passed out when I go home, then I’ll go if I need to,” he said.
Ladybug nodded along, furrowing her brows, “How are you gonna get back home? You passed out after barely taking a few steps on your way back.”
Chat Noir grimaced at that, “Right. Do you think I could give you an address close to my place where you can drop me off and then I can make the rest of the way back?” he said in a mostly joking manner. But to Ladybug, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
“Yeah, I can do that. Just type it in my yo-yo, we can get going right now,” she said as she opened up her yo-yo and handed it over to him, leaving his mouth gaping.
“Wait, really? You don’t have to, I don’t wanna trouble you, you’ve done more than enough. You probably have to go back home now, I can probably make it back on my own,” Chat insisted, sitting up a bit trying to hand the yo-yo back to her.
Ladybug pushed it back towards him and shook her head, “Nope. We’re going. I want you to get any help you need as soon as possible.”
Chat Noir pouted, reluctantly starting to type in an address, handing it back to her when he finished, “There.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard. Come on, up. I’m picking you up,” she said, already removing the blankets on top of him and tucking her hands under him.
Chat Noir didn’t have a second to complain, grumbling in her arms and she carried him out bridal style.
“Let me know if I’m hurting you,” she said, trying to be as careful as she could. Chat nodded back before tucking his face into her shoulder. Ladybug had to fight down a blush from his close proximity.
They were airborne in mere moments, Ladybug hurried as quickly as she could to the location he’d given her. She didn’t want to waste a moment if he was in need of any medical attention.
Once she reached the rooftop, she gingerly let him down, still holding him up from his arm.
“This is the spot, right?” she asked.
“Yeah… thank you,” he said quietly.
Ladybug couldn’t quite get over this quiet and reserved demeanor of his, it only made her more worried.
She chewed on the inside of her lip in thought before attempting to toss on a cheesy grin, “It was no purr-oblem, kitten.”
Chat Noir was quiet after that, Ladybug's grin was wavering but she tried to keep it up, throwing in a finger gun. The gesture alone probably took years off of her own life.
He eventually snorted softly, followed by a quiet melodious laugh. Ladybug’s heart briefly stuttered at the genuinity of it.
“Thank you…” he said once again after catching his breath, it was filled with much more sincerity.
Ladybug coughed, lightly punching his shoulder, “Yeah, right. Just don’t do anything stupid like that again.” Chat smiled, giving her head a little pat.
“I’ve been really worried about you and you… you just really matter to me, okay? So… get better soon. Please go home and try to rest,” she pleaded, voice wavering, Chat Noir froze in place.
He shifted to pull her to his chest, delicately hugging her.
“I will, I promise,” he whispered into her hair.
Ladybug breathed in shakily and nodded, “Good.”
She pulled away from his embrace, staring up into his eyes. She brought her hand up and cupped his cheek, leaning in and tenderly pecking the other, “Go. Come back to me healthy,” she said as she backed away.
Chat stared at her in awe, his pale complexion tinting pink.
“Ah,” he said after a beat or two of surprise.
He nodded, “Yes, of course.”
Once he seemed to regain his senses, he approached her, brushing her bangs to the side and pressing his lips gently to her forehead, “Till we meet again?”
Ladybug blinked a few times, holding her breath for a second to repress a noise of surprise. She cleared her throat, “Even if it takes weeks or months, take it easy until you’re better. I can handle things.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and spun him around, mostly to hide her red face, “Now shoo.”
Chat Noir chuckled, “As my lady wishes,” he said before steadily taking off.
Ladybug puffed a sigh of relief watching him go off. Though she realized she shouldn’t keep staring since his home was probably nearby. She quickly averted her gaze, spinning around and pulling out her yo-yo to head home.
When she landed in her bed and destransformed, she did so in a plop.
Marinette’s sheets were still damp from earlier, though she felt far too drained and fumbled with her feelings to do anything about it right now.
All she could do was think about him, he was all that was on her mind.
She idly wondered if the kwamis would let them exchange letters, Marinette had a feeling it would be a while before she could see him again. As long as he was bright again once more.
#Bad Things Happen Bingo#ml fanfic#miraculous fanfic#miraculous ladybug#Ladybug#Chat Noir#Ladynoir#hurt/comfort#angst#character injury#passing out from pain#buggy writes#feel free to send requests of the remaining prompts~#this was longer than i meant for it to be oops#again i am so sorry anon this was la te
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hello!!! I love ur blog so much ! Can I requests a hc with Oikawa and Kuroo dating a Hothead/easily angered girlfriend? Maybe she gets into a fight and how would the boys react?
This is spicy yes of course! Also I def relate to the reader cause I get mad at freaking everything. There is a lot of cussing and there is violence obviously so just a warning!
Also PSA: I know Mika ( Daisho’s gf) is probably super nice in the manga but I had to make her uhhhhh unlikeable so yeah.
Oikawa and Kuroo with a Hothead Girlfriend
-Oikawa-
There’s no need to sugarcoat it, Oikawa was intimidated by you because of your ‘ don’t fuck with me attitude’ but once you started dating, he realized it came in handy especially with his fans
He never had to worry about his fans ever messing with you because they’d be dumb to say anything to your face without you throwing hands back so Oikawa always thought things would be in his favor
UNTILLLL you showed up to one of Aoba Johsai’s games because of course, you wanted to support the team
You watched the game from up on the stands and you could hear his fans whispering amongst each other about you but you wanted to stay focused on the game
Whenever Oikawa served, he would make a quick glance at you to make sure that you saw it but even though your eyes were on him, you didn’t look thrilled
Oikawa put two and two together once he saw his little fanbase a few rows back laughing in your direction and his heart dropped. Sure, he was upset that they were saying things about you but he was even more worried that you were going to kill them
The match was getting closer to the end but the girls were persistent in bashing you for every little thing and you did your best to keep your temper under control
“ What is she even wearing?”
“ Shouldn’t she be wearing a jersey to support her boyfriend?”
“ Maybe Oikawa-San and her broke up!”
“ Thank goodness, he can do so much better anyway. He is way out of her league.”
You clenched your fists against the bottom of your seat. You’d be damned if you were just gonna sit there and listen to them talk badly about you
You whipped your head around and gave them a deadly glare,” Just wait until this game ends and we’ll see if you’ll be able to keep talking shit.”
They’re just shocked that you even turned around to confront them and while they’re a bit shooketh cause you’re high key scary, they don’t take your threat seriously
Oikawa can practically feel the tension in the air so once Aoba Johsai scores the last point and they take their bows, he looks up at you as if he’s pleading with you to just wait until he can get there
Cue that one tik tok: ‘ girl don’t do it, it’s not worth it…’
And you’re looking back at him like ‘ im not gonna do it girl...I was just thinking about it...im not gonna do it”
You and Oikawa both thought that the coast was clear and that you two can go about your day but then the main fangirl opened her mouth,” I told you guys she’s too scared to fight us. Who does this bitch think she is?”
It all happened so fast, one minute you were beaming down proudly at your boyfriend and the next, you’re jumping over the bleachers to launch yourself at the girl in the stands
“ OH SHIT!” Oikawa raced out of the gym with Iwaizumi running after him because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa might need his help
Oikawa had never seen you this mad before so he didn’t know what to expect as he raced up the stairs
His mouth dropped when he saw you on top of the girl and you were going at it
like yassssssss reader beat her ass!!! Fuck her up!!!!🤪🤪🤪
There’s a crowd gathered around but Oikawa managed to squeeze his way through and shouted at you to stop. He knew how strong you were and frankly, the girl didn’t even stand a chance against you.
Obviously, he is your number one fan but he didn’t want you to go to jail for murdering this girl in cold blood
He tried to pull you off of her but you have that gorilla grip and this boy was struggling to pry you off like damn where is all of this strength coming from???
Oikawa looked around for anyone to help him but the crowd was a bit too scared of you so he shouted for backup
“ IWA-CHAN HELP ME BEFORE SHE KILLS HER!”
Iwaizumi pushed through everyone and he assessed the situation. He sees lil ol’ you swinging at the girl who’s sprawled out on the floor screaming but he’s more focused on the fact that you listened to his advice on how to throw punches
He stans necessary violence!
Iwa managed to loosen your grip on the girl which gave Oikawa enough time to wrap his arms around you and hold you back
“ Who’s scared now ha!” You laughed evilly as Oikawa tried dragging you away from the crime scene and he’s visibly shaken because his girlfriend is psychotic but is it awful that he feels so proud?!?!?
Like in his head he’s thinking,” damn okay go off queen!” 🥰
He managed to carry you all the way down to the stairs and pulled you aside to make sure you’re okay
“Are you hurt anywhere? How are you feeling? Do you need some water or some ice for your knuckles?”
You looked down at your knuckles and sure enough, they were bruised but surprisingly not bloody,” Oh, I fucked up my knuckles...I didn’t even notice, ” You said as Oikawa shook his head disapprovingly,” I wasn’t even hitting that hard!”
“ Iwa-chan, can you be a dear and get some ice? I’m gonna stay here with Y/N to make sure she doesn’t go back up there,” Oikawa said as you held up your knuckles to show Iwaizumi
“ How do I look Zumi?”
“ Damn Y/N, those look badass!”
Iwa was practically beaming because he knew he had taught you well🤩🤩🤩
“ Iwa-chan don’t get encourage her! Go get the ice!” Oikawa shouted as you and Iwaizumi both laughed before Iwa turned to leave
Oikawa lightly skimmed his thumb across your knuckles and pressed an even lighter kiss to your knuckles before sighing,” Was it worth ruining your pretty hands honey?”
You inhaled deeply before shrugging innocently at your boyfriend,” Toru, I really tried to keep my cool I promise! They were saying really mean things the whole time but I did my best to control myself but she had it coming...Are you mad at me?”
“ Of course I’m not mad,” Oikawa answered honestly as he pulled you closer to him,” If you lost than sure, I would be disappointed but you won so I’m more proud than anything! But I’m pretty sure you broke her nose.”
“ A wise boyfriend once said; If you’re gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks,” You said with a smirk as Oikawa leaned in to give you a victory kiss
-Kuroo-
Kuroo knew what he was getting himself into when the two of you started dating. You were always so sweet and thoughtful but whenever you were upset, you didn’t care who got in your way, all you wanted to do was unleash the beast!
Most of the time, Kuroo could calm you down before it ever escalated but on the rare account that he couldn’t, he just hoped you didn’t do too much damage to whoever was on the receiving end
At the end of one of Nekoma’s matches, you were celebrating with the team in the hallway when Kuroo excused himself to go use the restroom
You thought nothing of it and continued to chat and congratulate the other Nekoma members but as minutes passed by without seeing Kuroo, you excused yourself and went to go find him
You turned the corner to see Kuroo with his back facing you as he was loudly talking to Daisho. You knew Kuroo disliked Daisho but you were taken aback when you saw a familiar face next to him, Mika Yamaka
You and Mika had never gotten along, even way before Kuroo had his feud with the Nohebi captain. The last time you had saw her, things hadn’t gone so well so to see her in the flesh made you feel some type of way
You walked over to where Kuroo was standing as the conversation halted
“ What’s going on? Everything okay?” You asked as Kuroo wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in closer
“ Nothing, everything is fine,” Kuroo smiled but you could tell that something was obviously going on
“ Wow Y/N-chan, I gotta say, you’ve changed a lot. I see you finally figured out how to style your hair,” Mika said ‘sweetly’ as she played with her boyfriend’s volleyball in her hand,” you finally look grown-up. I was sure you’d always look like that little geek I met in middle school.”
You felt him squeeze your hip tightly as if to say ‘ don’t let her get under your skin’ but you couldn’t help yourself to snap back
“Aw, Mika. I wish I could say the same for you but turns out you’re still a fucking snake who-”
“ Okay, let’s just calm down and take a breath,” Kuroo said as he leaned down to whisper into your ear,” don’t do anything stupid, okay? I got your back.”
You squeezed his hand as you kept your icy stare on Mika who looked unbothered
“ Your girl sure does have a temper doesn’t she?” Daisho laughed as Kuroo snapped his eyes over to him
“ What did you say snake?”
OH SO NOW IT’S SUDDENLY OKAY TO SAY SNAKE
“ He’s not wrong. Y/N is kinda known to be a bit of a bitch,” Mika said as a matter of fact as you and Kuroo both tensed up,” little miss hothead is what they used to call you right?”
As angry as you were, you knew that she was just trying to push your buttons and that she wasn’t worth the hassle. At this point, the rest of the Nekoma boys were watching from afar and even Kenma had looked up from his game to watch the heated interaction
“ Let’s just go, you guys are all bark and no bite. That’s why Nohebi loses everytime against Nekoma. You want some advice, how about you guys win before you start to talk shit,” You scoffed as you grabbed Kuroo’s hand and walked off in the opposite direction
Micdrop lets get it Y/N
Kuroo smiled down at you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead,” Baby, I’m really proud of you. I know it’s hard to keep your cool and I’m sure you wanted to beat her ass, huh?”
“ God, I was this close Tetsuro. I swear, I-”
You felt something hard hit the back of your head and a second later, you could hear Mika’s annoying voice,” Who’s all bark and no bite now?”
You looked down at the ground to see the volleyball she had just chucked at your head and you felt smoke come out of your ears
You moved your eyes up and locked eyes with Kenma like ‘did this bitch really just do that😮’ and Kenma nodded ‘girl she really did👀’
Kuroo looked shocked. He didn’t even know what to say but he really didn’t want you to get into a fight
“Baby-”
“ Hold my purse,” You snapped as you shoved your bag into his chest and walked over to where Mika was standing
“ Aw, is Y/N-chan gonna cry-”
Kuroo and Daisho watched with open mouths as you practically launched yourself at her, causing the two of you to hit the floor. The Nekoma boys shouted words of encouragement and you could even hear Yaku shout “WORLDSTAR!”
“ You! 👏🏼Stupid! 👏🏼Bitch!” You yelled as you kept slamming your fists into Mika as she swung her fists back to try and get you off
Kuroo rushed over, unsure of what to do.
A little backstory: You two had a hypothetical conversation a while back and you had explicitly told him that if you had gotten into a fight, he was not allowed to step in unless you were losing. By the looks of it, you were winning by a longshot
It wasn’t until Daisho tried grabbing you off of Mika that Kuroo suddenly became protective and stepped in
“ Don’t touch her, snake!” Kuroo yelled as he easily pushed Daisho to the side and ripped you away from Mika
You scrambled and struggled against your boyfriend’s grip as you continued to curse at Mika
“ Uh huh! That’s what I thought you raggedy-ass, fucking bitch! You’re awfully quiet now, huh!”
“ Oh my god babe, please-”
“ Whatever!” Mika shouted as Daiso helped her up as she held her nose in pain,”That’s why your stupid boyfriend stepped in.”
“ He stepped in cause he knows I will kill you! Do you hear me, Mika? You’re lucky my boyfriend isn’t such a weak ass like you because if he wasn’t holding me back, you wouldn’t be able to get off the floor-”
“ Okokokokokok! She got the message baby, you’re scary and she’s a dumbass,” Kuroo was struggling to keep his grip on you so he readjusted himself and threw you over his shoulder as he walked past his teammates,” let’s head to the bus.”
The rest of the Nekoma teammates followed the two of you back to the buses as Kenma walked over beside you,” Do you want me to send you the video?”
“ You were recording?” You and Kuroo both asked as Kenma nodded approvingly
“ Hell yeah! Send it to me!”
On the bus ride back, it was relatively loud from all of the talk about you throwing hands with Mika but Kuroo had all of his attention on you
“ I can’t believe she threw a volleyball at your head, what did she expect when you pounced on her?” Kuroo said as you leaned your head against his shoulder,” but damn, we were so close to leaving without a fight.”
“ I know, I’m sorry Tetsuro. You know I can’t stand her or her boyfriend,” You huffed as Kuroo sighed
“ You know, have I ever told you how turned on I get seeing you mad?”
“ Yes babe, several times.”
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanon#haikyuu!! headcanon#haikyuu hc#haikyuu!! hc#haikyuu scenario#haikyuu!! scenarios#haikyuu!! scenario#nekoma#nekoma headcanon#nekoma x reader#nekoma headcanons#kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo headcanon#kuroo hc#kuroo imagine#tetsuro kuroo#tetsuro kuroo x reader#tetsuro kuroo headcanon#tetsuro kuroo hc#tetsuro kuroo imagine#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba johsai headcanon#aoba johsai hc#aoba johsai imagine
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Can I get some Mammon fluff? Like he or MC are upset about something and they come to one another for cuddles? I think that's cute.... Plus I'm in need of a hug 🤗
Sorry, anon this took so long!!! Mammon was being a butthead throughout this whole fic and was not cooperating! And this is not exactly cuddling, but I hope it suffices! AND OMG ANON YOU SHALL BE HUGGED 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Also, as usual, this story can be read on AO3 here. Additionally, I have a few more writing requests to do, but feel free to send more if you’d like!
Title:
Avatar of Greed
Summary:
Mammon barges into your room very upset. You may not have all the answers, but you sure know when someone is in need of a hug and a listening ear.
Genre:
Angst/Comfort/Fluff
Rating:
G
Word Count:
1606
-
You tap your fingers on your desk and stare daggers at your Poison Lore 1001 homework. Your assignment is to create an extremely volatile aphrodisiac using belladonna, hemlock, and another toxic, yet arcane plant native to the Devildom—which is what stumps you, because as a human, how are you supposed to know what toxic plants are native to the Devildom!?
You growl in frustration. You aren’t supposed to use the internet to acquaint yourself with said plant and you can’t find your library card in order to check out a book at the Royal Library to find out what it might be.
Resting your head on your desk, you sigh. Before you can decide that the assignment is a lost cause, you hear your bedroom door swing open. Someone stomps in and sighs dramatically; you can hear them flop onto your bed. You already know who it is before they say a word.
“Mammon,” you groan, not raising your head. “What did I say about sitting on my bed?”
“‘None of the members of the House of Lamentation are allowed on MC’s bed,’” he recites. He pauses and then amends, “‘Cept for the Great Mammon, ‘cause he was MC’s first.”
You moan and turn behind you, where you see Mammon lying all starfish-like on your bed. “I don’t remember adding the last part.” You walk over and poke him. “Get off.”
“No,” Mammon whines, slinking further into the sheets. “MC, ya gotta let me stay.”
Again, you poke him. “Why?”
He sighs. “Just do it, okay?”
Surprised with his answer, you finally decide your homework is most definitely not going to get done and scoot onto the bed with him, sitting on your pillows with Mammon sprawled out in front of you. Absentmindedly, you fiddle with his hair, not noticing the blush that spreads across his face as you do so.
“St—sto—” he sputters incoherently for a few moments, before closing his eyes and retreating to silence. The two of you sit like that quietly for a spell, before he breaks it again. “MC,” he begins, his voice so faint that you barely can hear it, “d’ya think I’m annoyin’?”
You don’t miss a beat as you continue playing with his hair and answer, “Yes.”
“Whaddaya mean by that, huh?” he demands, his blush growing even deeper and his eyes flying open. “Didn’t ya hear what I asked? I asked if ya thought I was annoyin’!”
“I know; I said ‘yes.’” He doesn’t see the tiny smirk that forms at the corner of your mouth.
Mammon fidgets, his face tomato red now. “K—keep talkin’ like that MC, and I might actually believe ya!” He pauses again, and sits up, turning behind to look at you. He looks down and his voice turns into a whisper. “… Do you really think that, though?”
You look at him, raising your eyebrows. Before he had looked down, you had seen something in his dark blue eyes—something you hadn’t noticed before.
You had always noticed the pools of a desire for validation that rippled in his dark sapphire irises, but today—today, you saw thin streams of desperation swirling amongst them, as well. You decide that the time for teasing the tsundere, tsundere demon is over. You pull him back down, letting his head rest on your lap and scoop a pillow off your bed.
“Wh—whoa, MC!” he exclaims. You didn’t think his face could get any redder, but somehow it does. “I know you’re desperate for The Mammon, but ya didn’t even answer my que—”
Before the fool can finish his sentence, you whomp your pillow across his head. You blush, grit your teeth, and answer his initial question, saying, “If I found you annoying, I wouldn’t sit here and listen to you babble, would I?”
Mammon coughs in embarrassment and wisely avoids eye contact—a fact which you are very grateful for, because what would you do if he saw how red your face was now?
You try to regain your composure. You clear your throat and wonder, “Why do you ask?” You ponder if one of his brothers had said something to him for him to ask such a question, but then you remember Mammon’s neverending patience when it came to the verbal lashings that his brothers magnanimously granted to him.
“It’s nothin’.”
You remember the desperation you had seen in his eyes and in your most wheedlesome tone, cajole “Come on, say.”
“I told ya, it’s nothin’ for you to worry about, MC.”
“Please say.” You take a deep breath and muster your sweetest voice. “For me?“
“AAAH!” he grumbles, nestling his head deeper into your lap. “MC, you know damn well that I can’t say no when ya use that voice!”
You smile in satisfaction and amuse your fingers in his hair once more. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Mammon turns to his side so you can no longer see his face and sighs. “Fine.” He takes a deep breath. “MC, what sin am I the Avatar of?”
“Stupidity.” The tease pops out of your mouth without your consent.
“HEY! Stupidity’s not a sin and you know it!”
You stifle a laugh as you notice that he doesn’t deny his idiocy and try to remain serious. “Alright, alright. I know you’re the Avatar of Greed.”
“Mm-hm,” he agrees. “And ya know what? I’m damn good at what I do.” Mammon’s confident tone falters for a moment. “Sure, I’m klepto as hell, but it’s not like I can help that … y’know?” He pauses. “I’m greedy—it’s who I am. When I see somethin’ I like, I gotta have it, no matter what.” You don’t notice that he lightly coils his fingers around your calf as he says this.
Saying nothing, you nod at his spiel. You know the secondborn demon well enough to realize that he has more to say.
And he does. His voice lowers to a whisper and he wonders, “Then why am I always gettin’ blamed for bein’ who I am, huh?” You can feel his head shake in your lap. “Sure, I guess me lootin’ stuff isn’t fun for everyone, but it’s not like I can help it—it’s instinct.”
You’re not sure how to answer his question, so you continue your silence and let him talk.
“But hey, doesn’t everyone notice that it also ain’t fun for all of us to have to explain to the whole class why Belphie’s sleepin’ during lecture again or to open the fridge and realize Beel’s eaten damn near everything? Or hey, do they think it’s easier to have Asmo hittin’ on everything with a pulse? Maybe it’s better for Satan to blow up the House in some kinda tantrum or to have Levi freak the fuck out ‘cause some rando on the internet has a Ruri-chan figure that he doesn’t? Or to know that Lucifer—” his voice breaks, but he swallows quickly and continues, “—to know that Lucifer’s so fuckin’ perfect that I can’t think of any flaws for him?”
Even though you vowed not to interrupt him, you decide it’s best to cut him off there. “Lucifer’s not perfect.”
“Trust me—” Mammon’s voice breaks again as he turns his head deeper into your lap. “—trust me, MC, I know that! Ignore ‘im for a minute here.” He sighs and pivots so that he faces the ceiling, and you can see that his eyes are ever-so-slightly glassy. “Just … why’s that okay, huh? Why’s everything all hunky-dory for them when they’re givin’ into their sin, but all pitchforks ‘n’ torches for Mammon?”
You pull your hands out of his hair and bring them around his shoulders. For once, he’s too distraught to blush. You’re not sure why his brothers act the way they do, but you are sure of the response he needs. “It’s not fair.”
“No,” he mutters, “it ain’t. And it’s not like it bothers me a lot, but sometimes … when I get to thinkin’ … ”
That’s when you realize that the desperation you had seen earlier in his eyes wasn’t just his desperation to be validated, but desperation for someone to just listen to what he was saying.
You’d seen how the other six demons reacted when Mammon spoke—they’d tromp over him (although … could you really blame them? Mammon’s dialogue usually made it clear that he was merely operating on one brain cell). Perhaps it was in an effort to tease, but even then there was only so much a demon can suffer. You’re even more thankful now that you had let him monologue for so long. If anyone deserved to, it was the silly secondborn.
You don’t even have to think as you yank him into a seated position and wrap your arms around his back tightly; you don’t let go as you slowly rub circles into his back. Graciously, you decide to do him a favor and not make the adorable little squeak! he elicited as you did so public knowledge.
“H—hey, MC! Ya don’t have to feel sorry for me or anythin’!” He blushes, having regained some of his cockiness. “I’m a demon for cryin’ out loud! I don’t need a hug!” Nevertheless, he takes a deep breath and leans into you.
Your head is nuzzled into his hair as you murmur, “Shh … everyone needs a hug, sometimes.”
You feel his body stiffen and you worry that that was the wrong thing to say. However, Mammon turns around and wraps his arms around you, just as tightly.
You breathe warmly into him and stifle a laugh when he meekly asks, “Y—you’re not gonna do this for my brothers, right?”
“Never.”
#obey me#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#obey me swd mammon#obey me shall we date mammon#obey me oc#obey me mc#fanfiction#fanfic#angst with a happy ending#fluff#adverbslut_writes
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baking
a/n: this fic is for the sweetest person @broken-hearted-barnes !!! you deserve the world and more and you’re so amazing and ilysm !!! i hope you enjoy it :~) <3 also im trying out a new format (???) for my fics, let me know what you guys think !
in which you and bucky bake together
masterlist
Baking. Your escape from the world, your muse, and best of all, delicious food. You baked all the time at the tower when you had a chance. Everyone would beg you on the way back from a mission to make some cookies, a pie, a cake or anything at all, they adored your baking. You tried teaching them so they could learn themselves but it was way too much of a shitshow. Tony tried to eat the batter, Steve got confused half way through, Nat didn’t even try, Clint shook his head as soon as you extended an apron his way, Thor tried the most, but it just wasn’t for him. Sam looked at you, laughed, and turned back around. Bucky blushed deeply, eyes going wide before looking down. And Bruce kept getting distracted by Tony messing with his batter. You even tried teaching Peter, who nailed it but was terrified as soon as he presented his pastries to the team, almost getting ran over as they all scrambled to get some. Safe to say he wouldn’t bake in the tower anytime soon.
So for the time being it was just you baking. You were okay with that, you didn’t have to share your supplies or your kitchen, you could just blast your music and enjoy the sweet, sweet smells of the food you made. Then you realized that someone had been using your ingredients, your utensils were slightly misplaced to the right and the over smelled slightly like raspberries. Strange. You shrugged it off and continued about your day, training and following your own routine. Then you heard the mention of the red fruit you smelled before and your ears perked up.
“those raspberry scones you made were amazing barnes! You’ve been holding back on us” sam spoke loudly, you rounded the corner and you could see a very red bucky, rolling his eyes at his friend. “wait until y/n finds out you can bake, she’s gonna freak out” Bucky’s blush deepened and Steve nudged his shoulder.
“you know if you asked her out she’d say yes” he looked at him pointedly, and Buckys smile faltered a bit. He shook his head slightly, his long hair falling into his face. “i don’t think I’m her type, she likes all those celebrities with curly hair” he spoke, looking at the other two men in the room. As Steve was gonna speak your you entered the room, ready to give an earful to bucky.
Then he looked at you and any anger you had melted away, you were left with fondness and the want to kiss him all over. “uh hi” you spoke, a bashful smile on your face as he gave you a grin. “hi” he replied, a giant smile on his face as his eyes darted between you and the floor. “Do you guys know who baked earlier? It smelled really good in the kitchen, like raspberries.” You looked ag Bucky, he knew that he was caught.
With a laugh Steve and Sam both yelled out “it was Bucky!” Before darting out of the room, leaving the two of you together. Your eyes landed on the super soldier in question, chills running down your body as your eyes locked. You felt goosebumps rise on your arms, you rarely ever got cold, the tower was always the perfect temperature, what the hell was going on. From down the hall Sam and Steve told FRIDAY to lower the temperature in the room the two of you were in, they knew bucky would give you his sweater in an instant.
“So you like to bake huh” you smiled, sitting close to bucky, unintentionally scooting closed so you could feel his body heat. Bucky looked at you and noticed how cold you were, instantly taking off his bomber jacket and sliding it over your shoulders. “sorry i hate the cold” you smiled sheepishly as you held the jacket closer to your body. “Don’t worry about it doll, looks better on you anyway.” He smiled, eyes going wide as he realized what he had just said. You blushed deeply, suddenly growing very warm at his words.
“you can’t avoid my question barnes, you like to bake?” You held eye contact with him and he smiled, looking down at the ground before nodding and looking back up at you. “I didn’t want to take that from you, I always thought baking was your thing so why intrude on it” he shrugged his shoulder, looking at his finger while you studied his side profile.
“i really want to stab you right now buck” you sighed, laughing as his eyes went wide for a second, “it could’ve been our thing this whole time! I love having someone else baking with me, hence why i gave everyone baking lessons.” He smiled at you and moved ever so slightly so that both of you were pressed up against each other.
“you’d really want me in there with you?” He turned to look at you, butterflies in your stomach as the two of you grew closer. You nodded, not trusting your voice. The two of you glanced at the others lips, too scared to make a move first. You both stayed like that for a while, just trying to memorize every small feature on the others face. Then you pushed forward, your lips landing on his softly, kissing him gently. He smiled into the kiss, immediately reciprocating your movements as giggles left your mouth.
Days passed and you and bucky were almost always in the kitchen when you weren’t busy. The team was more than happy, getting many pastries in return for dealing with how sickeningly cute you and bucky acted all the time. You had realized yesterday after baking a cake for the team that you were low on supplies, so you made a mental note to go tomorrow to buy some more so you didn’t run out.
When you woke up early the next morning you got dressed, not bothering to tell anyone you were heading out. You calmly went through the aisles of the grocery store, leaning on your shopping cart and walking slowly to try and spot the brand of flour you use. You hummed along to the song softly playing over the speakers, putting the bag of flour in your cart before heading to get the sugar.
Bucky woke up nervous. He barely slept last night because of a nightmare he had of you. He knew it wasn’t real but he had to make sure you were okay. You never woke up early so he immediately went to your room and softly opened the door, expecting you to be sleeping soundly under your too many blankets. Bucky’s heart dropped when he saw how messy your sheets were. Signs of a struggle.
Yeah there was a struggle; a struggle to get out of bed so you could keep to your schedule.
Bucky ran back to his room, grabbing his phone and calling you, texting you and even leaving a fucking voicemail. You didn’t answer.
As you cruises down the shopping aisles, getting some peach lifesavers to make bucky try, you wondered if you should stop by the coffee shop you loved and get something really quickly. You smiled to yourself and headed to checkout, forgetting you never took your phone off Do Not Disturb.
Bucky ran all over the tower looking for you, asking FRIDAY and every living being if they had seen you. Everyone was both shocked and amused that Barnes was losing his mind over you not being in your room, they assumed you went for a walk but Bucky didn’t want to believe them, he was too paranoid.
You decided against getting the drink, heading straight home instead, your heart fluttering at the thought of bucky missing you. You smiled to yourself and tapped on the steering wheel to the beat of the your music.
Bucky slipped on his boots and fixed the knife near his ankle, he was gonna find you no matter what. It wouldn’t be that hard considering you were already pulling into the tower and trying your best to carry all the bags at once.
Bucky rushes out the tower, a menacing look on his face, searching everywhere for your face. You locked the car door and immediately booked it for the doors, not wanting to risk dropping a bag and having to make two trips.
As you ran towards the doors, Bucky game out of them, his menacing expression fading away as he ran towards you arms open and smile on his face.
“don’t hug me! Get a damn bag and help me dammit” you laughed, pushing him softly as he took all your bags and you sighed in relief. “okay I get it you’re strong” you giggled, noticing how stressed out he looked you furrowed your brows.
“bucky are you okay? you look stressed” you noted, he smiled sheepishly at the ground before turning to you when you entered the kitchen. “I’m not- well anymore at least” he chuckled and you cocked your head, urging him to continue.
“i- well when i woke up you weren’t here and so i freaked out and” he pulled the knife from beside his ankle and the gun he had behind his back, “i was gonna go look for you to make sure you were okay.” He blushed and you felt your heart explode into a million pieces, a giant smile spreading on your face as you jumped into his arms. He held you up with ease and buried his face in your neck, your legs wrapping around his waist.
“you are too much james” you whispered, smiling as he set you down softly. “I went to go get more baking supplies, we were running low, and i just realized my phone was on do not disturb, so sorry for missing your” you glanced down at your phone and you choked on your spit, “36 missed calls” you bursted our laughing and he frowned at you. You gave him a small kiss on the cheek before jumping up on the counter next to him, swinging your legs.
“well? if you were so worried then put the things away or else im really gonna be distressed because i hate putting groceries away” you smiled at him and he rolled his eyes, giving you a kiss on your lips before moving to put everything away.
“im only doing this so you can teach me how you made the scones the other day” bucky smiled at you from behind a cabinet and you laughed. “secret recipe” you piped up, sliding off the counter and hugging him from behind.
The kitchen was your guys’ safe place, a place where you could mess around and be disgustingly cute. A place to kiss between tasting batter and have one too many flour fights. Baking in the kitchen with your Bucky was your safe place.
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes drabble#bucky fluff#soft!bucky#protective!bucky#bucky imagine
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Plot Bunny
Wow, I’m alive! And posting fanfiction on tumblr, as if I have any idea what I’m doing!! Please check it out on AO3, where I am actually capable of navigating the website: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441853
Plink. Another small, innocuous sound scarcely registered past Danny’s homework-induced stupor. It could have been a stray raindrop or a kamikaze bug. He had more important things demanding his attention; namely, the book report due tomorrow. This was at least the fifth time he’d rewritten the same paragraph. Words had lost all meaning to him by this point, but he was so close to finishing.
Tip-tap. Clonk, the noise emitting from the bedroom window insisted. He glared suspiciously towards the disturbance, envisioning ethereal arrows or blob ghosts intent on breaking in. He hadn’t sensed anything ghostly nearby, but given his luck, the paranoia was usually warranted. Emitting a groan from the depths of his soul, he rose from his desk to inspect the noise. He spared a second to stretch and shake the pins and needles out of his fingers, trying to wake up. Just in case it was something serious, y'know. Tink. “Alright, jeez, I’m coming,” he muttered, pulling back his curtain.
There weren’t any ghosts, of course. That was somewhat of a relief, even if going down swinging was preferable to succumbing to a failing high school education. The early sunset gleamed amber off the windows across the street, and the sky was clear, except for— chink— the pebbles bouncing off his window. A lone kid was standing on the sidewalk below, no older than eight or nine. He looked vaguely familiar. He was pulling his arm back to throw more stones and bawling his eyes out.
Danny yanked open the window, sliding up the screen to fully stick his head out. His core vibrated, unsettled. There wasn’t any obvious danger, and the kid didn’t look hurt. Where were his parents? Why was he here? “Hey! What’s wrong, buddy? Are you okay?”
“You, you, you,” the kid tried to start, but great hiccupping sobs interrupted him. He scrubbed his face with his fists, obviously trying to regain his composure. “You’ve gotta send the ghost hero out!”
Danny jerked back, unintentionally smacking the back of his skull on the underside of the window. Well, now he was awake. What? “Uh, a ghost? Here? No, there isn’t—I can’t—what are you talking about?”
The boy was right up against the side of the house now, sniffling loudly and staring straight up at Danny with wide, sad eyes. “Please?” He whined, winding his hands up in the fabric of his sweater nervously.
Well, now he was stuck. Some random kid was going to out his whole identity, but the urge to help was almost overwhelming. “I can’t—there can’t be any ghosts here, but give me a second and I can just come down?” He offered. “Do you want me to find your parents?”
“Noooo!” The kid wailed and stomped his foot, banging on the wall with his tiny fists. “Don’t lie to me! I’ve seen the superman ghost go in there! Let him out! I need him!!”
Oh, crap, someone was going to hear. This kid’s parents were going to freak out, or his own parents were going to notice, and what if they took that kind of claim seriously? Shoot. Literally. He chuckled nervously. “Hey, hey, shhh, okay! You win! I’ll, uh, summon him, or something! But you have to be quiet, or you’ll, y’know, scare him off.” The child nodded solemnly, wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve and stifling his sobs.
Danny ducked back behind the curtain, gracelessly crumpling to sit with his back against the wall. He ran his hands through his hair. He’d been seen? When? He’d tried so hard to be careful, and use invisibility whenever he was close to the house. Maybe he’d gotten lazy. Maybe, sometimes, he let the promise of sleep take priority over precautions. Stupid. He smacked the palm of his hand into his forehead, frustrated. How long had this kid known? Who else had he told? He couldn’t just scare him into silence, he was too little. That was just messed up, he’d give him nightmares or something.
He wasn’t going to figure anything out by sitting here moping. He triggered the transformation, the familiar prickling electric feeling swiftly replaced by the soothing cold. He turned to peek over the edge of the window, checking for anyone else around. It was still just the same kid, kicking at a pebble on the concrete while he waited.
He floated down slowly, not wanting to startle his impromptu visitor, who turned and saw him as he touched down. The little guy gasped, forgotten tears slipping away from unblinking eyes.
“Hi there,” Danny prompted gently. “Were you looking for me?”
The kid kept ogling, mesmerized, and a few seconds passed by before he could shake himself out of it. “Wow, you’re the real superhero guy,” he whispered reverently.
Oh. That was pretty cute, actually. He couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, that’s me. You can call me Phantom,” he offered.
“I’m Wyatt,” the kid mumbled, covering his damp cheeks with his hands shyly. He tipped his head down, still staring through his eyelashes.
A neighbor’s front door opened down the street, and Danny swiftly disappeared. Wyatt startled, blindly swinging his hands back and forth through the seemingly-empty space. “Wait! Come back!” He recoiled with a yelp when his blundering reach made contact with the specter.
“It's okay, I’m right here,” he reassured the kid. “But we can’t let people know I’m here, okay? They’ll—um. I’ll get in trouble.”
Wyatt squinted, reaching forward again. Danny offered his hand, and the little fingers gripped his glove tightly. He looked like he was offering the empty air a fist bump. “Right,” the kid agreed earnestly.
“Seriously,” Danny pressed. “You can’t tell anyone that I li-” he bit his tongue. Don’t say ‘live’. That’s so dumb. “Uh. Hang out here sometimes. Not even your friends, okay? Promise?”
Wyatt’s little dark eyebrows drew together, and despite his trembling chin and small stature, he looked profoundly serious. He shook the hand. “I promise.”
Well, that would have to do for now. “Thanks. Uh, what did you need me for?”
The kid’s eyes immediately started to well up again, but he squeezed Danny’s fingers and pressed his lips to put on a brave face. “C’mon, Phantom, you’ve gotta-” he sniffed. “You gotta save Fuzzy,” he warbled, turning and pulling. The ghost floated behind like a balloon on a string as the pair stepped down from the curb, heading across the street.
Oh, man, if this was about a dead pet, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. That was closer to Jazz’s expertise. He swallowed his mounting dread. “Who’s Fuzzy?”
Wyatt’s face scrunched up. “He’s my bunny,” he explained, looking away. “I was just tryin’ to show ‘im to Audrey, and—and then,” he sobbed. “He went under the house! And he’s gonna get lost and stuck, and I’m-, never-, gonna see him ever again!” He let go, burying his face in his hands and howling.
Danny rested a hand lightly on Wyatt’s little shoulder, throat tight. He’d never had a pet like that, but he could understand the fear of losing loved ones a little too well, and empathy always felt more forceful when he was in ghost form. Probably something related to ectoplasm being shaped by residual emotional energy, blah blah ecto-science theory. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”
The unusual duo walked two more houses down the block and cut through a side yard to a modest backyard, strewn with outdoor toys and an overturned wire fence—likey an outdoor pen for Fuzzy. An even younger girl sat on the paved patio, chewing on the end of her braid. She leaped up as they drew close. “Wyatt! I told my dad about Fuzzbutt, and he’ll call the—um, animal people. But they’re not here yet. Did you find him?”
Wyatt glanced a little to Danny’s left with a guilty expression. Well, crap, so much for his secret. He bit his lip, trying to keep his cool. First things first. A cursory scan of the area didn’t show anyone else in the immediate vicinity, so he faded back into visibility. The little girl—‘Audrey’, he guessed—gave a muffled shriek. “Ghost man!”
“Hush,” Wyatt scolded, voice quavering. “He’s a secret.”
“Oh,” Audrey whispered back. “Hello, mister normal guy man. I think you’re cool.” She beamed up at him.
“Hello, small ordinary human,” Danny quipped, and Audrey giggled delightedly. Wyatt dropped to his hands and knees, crawling up to the house, where a gap between the foundation and dirt was evident. The other two peeked over his shoulder, but there wasn’t any bunny visible past the darkness.
“Fuzzy,” Wyatt choked out. “Hang in there, we’re gonna rescue you!”
Danny turned intangible, letting his molecules seep down through the dirt past the level of his nose. He drifted close to the base of the house, juicing up the glow from his eyes. “Just wait here, okay?” Two grim, round little faces nodded back, and with that minor assurance, he delved beneath the house.
The weight of the floor above loomed. It was claustrophobic, like being buried… well, half-alive. The musty, dank mildew smell was gross, even though he wasn’t breathing. He could taste it. “Here, bunny, bunny,” he muttered. Please don’t be hurt.
A tiny pair of eyes reflected green through the gloom. The little ball of fluff was backed into a corner, and it snorted like a tiny angry bull, stomping its feet. Danny hadn’t even known rabbits could make that sound. It probably didn’t like his creeping, unnatural aura, like most rational animals. “Shhh,” he cooed, reaching for the tiny, grubby ball of fluff and dimming his glow. “I’m not gonna hurt ya.”
Fuzzbutt wasn’t convinced. In a courageous move, it darted through Danny’s forehead, wedging itself under a crooked board and squealing. Danny reached easily through the plank and wrapped his hands around the unhappy creature, sharing his intangibility. It writhed and fussed, trying to bite through his gloves. “Stop that!” He clutched it close to his chest; if he dropped it here, the stubborn thing really would be stuck. He swooped back out into the backyard, startling the anxiously waiting kids.
Audrey shrieked and tipped over. Wyatt recovered first, leaping to his Velcro-sneakered feet expectantly. “Is he okay?”
Danny recovered a more solid form, holding up the wiggling rabbit. Wyatt gasped, fresh tears glittering on his eyelashes. He reached out for the beloved pet, unable to contain his joy at the reunion. “Fuzzy! You’re okay! I love you, Fuzzy!”
“Let’s go inside first, so he doesn’t get away again?” Danny suggested. The last thing anyone needed was an instant replay. Audrey darted to open the back door, and Wyatt led the way inside. He sat on the wooden floor with open arms, and as soon as the door was firmly shut again, Danny deposited the squirming animal into his lap. Fuzzy looked marginally more content to receive numerous sloppy kisses from his adoring owner. He was actually a pretty cute little guy, black and white like a panda.
Even footsteps padded around the corner. “Wyatt, baby? Did you find-” the woman’s question cut off abruptly as she noticed the glowing stranger in her living room.
Crud. At this rate, the whole block was going to find him out before the week was up. He edged back a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I was just, um,” darn it, wrong persona. He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “Doing my heroic duty, ma’am,” he finished in a falsely deep voice.
Audrey giggled (he didn’t sound that bad!), and the woman smiled nervously. Wyatt hopped to his feet, still cradling his bunny. “Mama! Look, he saved Fuzzy! I’m gonna rename him Fuzzy Phantom,” he declared.
Mama Wyatt dutifully stroked the bunny’s dusty ears. “Fuzzy Phantom needs a bath,” she commented, before looking back up to meet Danny’s eyes. She held out her clean hand, and it took him a second to recognize the offered handshake. He started to reach back, thought twice about his messy glove, and hastily peeled it off to shake her hand. Her fingers were delicate, but they didn’t falter at the chill. “You look taller on the TV,” she joked lightly. “It’s nice to meet you. Phantom, right?”
He nodded. “Uh, it was nice to meet you, too, Ms.-?”
“Sylvie Rosales,” she supplemented. Audrey snuck around her to flounce deeper into the house, taking the adult’s distraction as an invitation, and Wyatt started to follow her, but hesitated. He snuck a hand out around Fuzzy to tug on Danny’s arm, so he leaned down accommodatingly.
Wyatt stood on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Can I come see you sometimes?”
Oh, heck, no. That would be truly asking for disaster. “No,” he quickly replied, but before Wyatt’s pout could evolve into a true objection, he added, “but if you really don’t tell anyone how to find me, I could drop by sometimes.” He looked towards Ms. Rosales. “If that’s okay?”
Wyatt looked over to his mom pleadingly, stars in his eyes. What have I gotten myself into, Danny wondered, but he couldn’t help feeling charmed. Ms. Rosales looked like she was thinking along the same lines, with her thin-lipped smile and folded arms. “As long as you don’t cause any trouble,” she hedged.
“Thank you!!” Wyatt hugged Danny spontaneously, smushing his face into his shoulder. Fuzzy grunted his objection.
Danny ruffled the kid’s mop of hair. “I should get going. Take care of Fuzzy,” he grinned, pulling away. “And stay safe,” he added in his false baritone with a mock salute.
“You, too,” he heard Ms. Rosales call after him as he phased through the wall. He looped above the street once cheerfully before disappearing to sneak back home. He’d left his window open; rose-tinted light and a handful of moths had spilled onto his bedroom floor. This time, he didn’t reappear or turn back until he’d stealthily drawn the window and curtains closed.
He still had an hour or so to plug into his homework. He hummed as he started back in on the paragraph he’d been stuck on. It didn’t seem as daunting now, even with the lost time and near reveal. He’d have to keep an eye on his nosy little neighbor, but in the end, maybe it was the moments like today that made the whole gig worth it.
#Whimsi writes#Whimsi forgot how she wrote her tags#Danny Phantom#fanfiction#fluff#cute#wholesome#drabble#plot bunny
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Aiden & Lambert’s love story because we deserve more than one and we didn't get any (at least not in canon). Long Post!
check out also Kaer Morhen Shenanigans
Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 and Daily Lambert
also Keira & Lambert’s love story and… this.
I love playing with incorrect quotes. The ones below are already used a few times in Kaer Morhen shenanigans, but I modified and changed them, and added a lot of new ones.
So the idea is that young witchers from the griffin and cat schools come to Kaer Morhen - including Coen and Aiden. The purpose of the visit is for aspiring witchers to learn something from each other, and in fact it’s just an excuse to play with the idea of Lambert x Aiden. Of course, Lambert’s witcher brothers will try to help him with his crush, and they will not miss the opportunity to make fun of him.
The setting is like this because the idea that Geralt, Eskel and Berengar will be Lambert's wingmen is simply priceless. I know that this configuration had no right to happen in the canon, but the canon has hurt us more than once. That's why we always have to fix everything. And that's why Berengar appears in my posts. In my opinion he deserved it and you can't change my mind. And I think he and Lambert have so much in common that it's really a shame they never met in games. I think that they would have a beautiful dynamics of the oldest and youngest brother.
Anyway I hope you enjoy it! :)
.
Aiden: Hi, I am-
Lambert, shaking his hand: Handsome.
Aiden: -Aiden. And you are?
Lambert: Apparently not as straight as I thought I was.
***
Lambert: Can I ask a dumb question?
Berengar: Better than anyone I know.
Lambert: Is it gay to think about your best mate in the shower?
Berengar: …
Geralt: …
Eskel: …
Lambert: Asking for a friend.
Berengar: …
Geralt: …
Eskel: …
Lambert: But now seriously: I’m not gay if I wanna date Aiden as like bros, right?
Geralt: I’m no expert but that does sound kinda gay.
Berengar: I’m an expert. That’s gay.
***
Lambert: I swing both ways.
Lambert: Violently. With a sword.
Lambert: Also, I’m bisexual.
Lambert: … promise you won’t tell anyone?
Berengar: Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.
*later*
Eskel: The printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say “Lambert’ birthday”.
Geralt: What does it say instead?
Eskel: “Lambert’ bi”
Berengar: Well that could still work.
Geralt: Wait, what? No, Lambert is straight.
Berengar: Trust me, he isn’t. The only straight thing he is gonna do is that he is gonna go straight to hell.
Eskel: Wait, Berengar, isn’t this thing between Lambert and Aiden supposed to be a secret?
Berengar: Hardly. The only people who don’t know Lambert loves Aiden are Lambert and Aiden. And Geralt for some reason.
***
Eskel: You and Aiden seem very close.
Lambert: We're just friends.
Berengar: Oh please, we all know you're a heartbeat away from getting his name tattooed on your ass.
***
Lambert: You look nice, I want to kiss you.
Aiden: WHAT
Lambert: I SAID IF YOU DIED I WOULDN’T MISS YOU
Berengar, behind Lambert's back, mouthing to Aiden: LIES
***
*Aiden and Coen talking and laughing*
Lambert: *staring at them silently*
Eskel: You’re really quiet today, Lambert.
Lambert: Nobody plans a murder out loud.
***
Lambert: Why does this griffin dude keep talking to you?
Aiden: Lambert, we are friends.
Lambert: I know you two are friends but…
Aiden, deadpan: No, Lambert, I meant you and I are friends.
Lambert: Yeah, we’re friends, but I’d fuck you if you asked.
Aiden: What?
Lambert: What?
Berengar, eating popcorn: He said he’d fuck you if you asked.
***
Lambert: Fuck, Aiden, you look like hell!
Aiden: Yeah? I just got back.
Lambert: Dude, who hurt you?
Aiden: Do you want a list or something?
Lambert:
Lambert: *grabs sword* Actually, yes.
Aiden: No, wait, we can’t solve all our problems with murder.
Lambert: How about just this problem?
***
Lambert: I think I might have a crush on Aiden…
Berengar: Congratulations, you’re officially the last one to know.
Geralt: Aiden would never date a jerk like you.
Lambert: Fuck you, shouldn’t I be one of your best friends?
Gerelt: Yeah, which is how I know you’re a jerk.
Eskel: So what are you going to do?
Lambert: I don’t know, something dramatic I hope.
Berengar: Oh for fuck’s sake, just ask Aiden out! What’s the worst that could happen?
Lambert: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.
***
Aiden: Can you ride?
Lambert: *looks at Aiden up and down* Yes.
Aiden: I meant the horse, Lambert.
***
Lambert: How do I politely ask him to slam me against a wall and make out with me?
Geralt: Lambert, it’s four in the morning, if you want to make out with Aiden just do it quietly, I don’t care how you ask him!
*next day*
Aiden: *hands Lambert a water bottle*
Lambert: *drinking it* Thanks, what’s it for?
Aiden: Geralt says you get thirsty around me.
Lambert: *chokes on water*
***
Lambert, smirking: So when are you gonna go out with me?
Aiden, smiling back: I don’t know, when are you gonna ask me out?
Lambert, freaking out: uhhh....
*later that day*
Berengar: So you ran away like a fucking coward?
Lambert: I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO FLIRT BACK!!
***
Eskel: Why are you ignoring Aiden?
Lambert: I’m playing hard to get.
Geralt: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.
***
Eskel: I shouldn’t be interfering in this but give him a chance. Lambert would throw himself in front of a speeding horse for you.
Aiden: Lambert would throw himself in front of a speeding horse for fun.
Eskel: Ok, point taken, but don’t worry, he grows on you.
Aiden: Oh, really?
Eskel:
Eskel: No, actually, he just gets worse.
***
Aiden: I’m having problems with Lambert.
Geralt: Problems like ‘his dead body won’t fit in your cupboard’ or problems like ‘you like him’?
Aiden: ...
Aiden: Problems like ‘I like him’.
Geralt: Too bad, I could have helped with the other one.
***
Aiden: I have 4 friends.
Eskel: But there are 5 of us. Me, Geralt, Berengar, Lambert and Coen.
Aiden: Lambert is my special idiot.
Aiden: That’s different.
***
Aiden: Lambert, look me in the eyes and be straight with me.
Lambert: So… Do I look at you? Or do I be straight? I can’t do both.
***
Lambert: I’m in love with you.
Aiden: That’s… a terrible idea.
Lambert: Yeah, I have a lot of those.
Aiden: ...
Aiden: Well then, let's try.
Lambert: Wait, does that mean you like me? For my personality?
Aiden: I know, I was surprised too.
***
Lambert and Aiden: *walk into the room together with happiness written on their faces*
Berengar: So who finally confessed?
Lambert: It was me, I made sure it was short and sweet.
Aiden: You yelled, “Listen here, you little shit, I have feelings for you and it’s about time you acknowledged them!” from the castle tower.
Lambert: It worked though.
Aiden: All in all, this may come as a surprise to you, but Lambert and I are dating now.
Geralt: Damn. Now I owe Eskel 20 crowns. You guys couldn’t have waited another week?
Lambert: Wait, what?
Eskel: You two just earned me 20 crowns is what, so thank you.
***
Aiden: When you're gay in your house with nobody else, you're homolone.
Lambert: When you're bi and there's nobody else around, you're biyourself.
Berengar: You're two morons.
***
Coen: So, you've already made friends with Eskel, Geralt and Berengar?
Aiden: Yeah.
Coen: Great, just a little advice - stay away from Lambert.
Aiden: ...
Aiden: Lambert is my boyfriend.
Coen: Oh...
Coen: Um...
Coen: So, what's he like?
Aiden: Have you ever met a human version of a headache?
***
Coen, pointing at Lambert: Is this guy bothering you?
Aiden: Yeah, but he’s my boyfriend, I signed up for this
***
Aiden: You’re annoying.
Lambert: But you love me >:3
Aiden: Doesn’t make you any less annoying.
***
Lambert: *spills water on his shirt* Oh, what have I done? Now my shirt is all see-through.
Geralt: *rolls his eyes* And so are you. I know what you’re doing.
AIden: So do I, but I am enjoying the show immensely.
***
Lambert: Did it hurt?
Aiden, rolling his eyes: When I fell from heaven?
Lambert: No.
Lambert: When you fell for me.
Aiden: ...
Aiden: Actually, yes. It’s hurts every day.
Berengar, from distance: BUUURN!
***
Coen: It’s so exhausting having a boyfriend! You’re lucky you don’t have one.
AIden: Actually, last time I checked I did have a boyfriend.
Coen: No, you have a Lambert. That’s not the same thing.
Aiden: What do you mean?
Coen: Well, he’s more like a puppy. Excitable, loud, always happy to see you, protective, and he bites anyone who threatens you.
Aiden: …
Aiden: Point taken.
***
Aiden: YOU’RE SO ANNOYING! I CANT BELIEVE IM DATING YOU!
Lambert: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOURE THE ONE WHO CHEATED!
Aiden: Because YOU cheated FIRST!
Lambert: YOU STUPID-
Eskel: I think we’re done playing gwent for tonight….
Geralt: Wait, no. I’m enjoying this.
Aiden: Don't you call me stupid!
Lambert: Okay, then how about 'bitch'?!
Aiden: Arrogant dick!
Lambert: Spoiled asshole!
Aiden: Fuck you!
Lambert: Fuck YOU!
Aiden: FUCK YOU!!!
Lambert: FUCK!!! YOU!!!
Aiden: ...
Aiden: My room, ten minutes.
Geralt: Okey... not what I expected.
Eskel: And we're done here.
***
Lambert: I have an idea, but I’m going to need your permission.
Aiden: Sudenly you need my permission? Why?
Lambert: Cause if I mess it up, I don’t want it to be just my fault.
Aiden: That sounds like a really risky and gay plan.
Lambert: So? You in?
Aiden: I thought it was an obvious answer.
***
Aiden: I want to hear those three little words.
Lamber: I love you.
Aiden: Try again.
Lambert: Fine.
Lambert: I will behave.
Aiden: :)
***
Aiden: Close your eyes and hold out your hand.
Lambert: I played this game once with my brothers and got slimed by a toad.
Aiden: It’s not a toad.
***
Lambert: I didn’t raise you to be like this.
Aiden: You’re my boyfriend. You didn’t raise me at all.
Lambert: And yet you still call me daddy.
Aiden: Oh for the love of-
***
Eskel: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.
Geralt: Weak. I sleep with a sword under mine.
Lambert: You’re both pathetic.
Berengar: What killer weapon do you sleep with then, Mr. Badass?
Lambert, proud and confident: Aiden.
***
Aiden: The food's too hot, I can't eat it.
Lambert: You're too hot and I still eat you.
Berengar: It's family moments like these that we will never forget.
Geralt: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.
Eskel: I'm not hungry anymore.
Vesemir: One dinner. ONE NORMAL DINNER!!
***
Lambert: *phone starts ringing*
Eskel: *looks at who is calling*
Eskle, laughs: So you call Vesemir 'daddy'?
Lambert: *answers call and makes direct eye contact with Eskel*
Lambert: Hey, Aiden.
Eskel: *chokes on drink*
***
Geralt: Okay Lambert, truth or dare?
Lambert: Truth.
Geralt, smirking: Why did you get kicked out of the brothel?
Lambert, looking absolutely horrified: Oh no…
Aiden, whipping his head around so fast Eskel almost shits himself: You fucking what?!
Lambert: Look, you can’t be mad at me! I was just there, minding my own business-
Aiden: We both know that’s a load of crap, Lambert, you’re lying!
Lambert: Does this look like the face of a liar?
Aiden: You really don’t want to hear my thoughts on your face right now.
Lambert: Ok, you know what? Fuck you!
Aiden: Later. Now listen here, you little shit-
Geralt, laughing: Living my best life.
Eskel: Oh my God, Geralt, what did you do, they’re going to kill each other.
Geralt: This isn’t about them.
Aiden, siting on Lambert and beating crap out from him: Really Lambert, I expected better from you!
Lambert, rolling them and pinning Aiden to the ground: Then that’s your own fault! I’m not responsible for your expectations!
Aiden: Bite me!
Lambert: Where?
Aiden: ...
Lambert: So you going to take a swing? Or you just going to staring into my eyes?
Aiden: Hmm, what was that? I was busy staring into your eyes...
Labert: Oh you beautiful bastard! Just punch me already!
*Berengar enters room*
Berengar: What the fuck is going on here? Are they fighting or making out?
Eskel: At this point, I honestly can't tell.
*later*
Lambert: Eskel, how do I get revenge on Geralt?
Eskel: The best revenge is letting go and living your life to the fullest.
Lambert: …
Lambert: Berengar, how do I -
Berengar: Brick.
***
Aiden: How do you usually get out of these messes?
Lambert: I don’t, I just make an even bigger one that cancels the first one out.
Aiden: That sounds like a terrible plan.
Lambert: Oh, I’ve had worse.
***
Aiden: I’m fucking an idiot.
Eskel: Isn’t that grammatically wrong? Shouldn’t it be “I’m a fucking idiot”?
Aiden: No, I’m fucking an idiot.
Eskel: ???
Aiden, sighing: Ok, watch out.
Aiden: Yo, Lambert, are you high?
Lambert: What?
Aiden: High!
Lambert: Hello!
Aiden to Eskel, pointing to Lambert: That’s the idiot.
***
*witchers face complications during the contract. Lambert is abducted for the ransom*
Lambert, offended: You think I’m only worth 10.000 crowns?!
Kidnappers: What?
Lambert: Give me that *takes the megaphone*
Lambert: Make it 1 billion and we can think about it.
Aiden, from outside: LAMBERT SHUT THE FUCK UP!
***
Lambert: Okay, okay, what if I microwave a spoon? Steal some bees? Oh, oh, let's try to fuse corn and apples!
Aiden: What the fuck?
Aiden: Lambert, I asked you how we should spend our anniversary, I clearly do not remember requesting for ways to disappoint your family.
Lambert: Sorry, force of habit.
***
Lambert, drunk at 1AM: *in pajamas and blasting ABBA in his room* Gimmie gimmie gimmie my man after midnight! Won’t somebody help me-
Geralt in the other room: Aiden is dead. Get over it and go to bed! There’s your help.
Lambert: [drunken sobs]
.
#witcher#witcher 3#witcher 3 wild hunt#tw3#wild hunt#kaer morhen shenaningans#lambert#witcher lambert#aiden#witcher aiden#lambert x aiden#geralt of rivia#geralt z rivii#eskel#witcher eskel#berengar#witcher berengar#vesemir#witcher vesemir#coen#witcher coen#love story#incorrect witcher quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect witcher
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Can we have a reaction for Ateez finding their s/o sleeping in random places, like the kitchen floor or a cabinet, under the bed? Please and thank you!
A/N: This is so funny to me because I relate so heavy no lie.
Hongjoong:
Okay, so basically
You fall asleep on the couch, waiting for Joong to get home so you could go to dinner together
At some point during your little nap, you fall off of the couch and onto the floor
The only real problem with this is that you are right underneath the lamp
So, the only logical solution to this new problem is to roll under the coffee table
Which you do, and then just fall asleep again, no biggie
When Joongie finally gets home he calls for you like always
Totally expects you to come running, excited for dinner
But, alas, you do not
So, he spends about an hour looking for you all over the place
Kinda starting to freak out
Ends up standing in the living room and pounding your number into his phone
After the first ring, he hears your phone going off in the same room
and then a very loud thud followed by some less than polite vocabulary
He looks down at you, wiggling your way out from underneath the table and stretching for your phone
You notice him, and it’s kinda awkward for a second
you kind of feel like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t be
“Hey”
“hey…”
Then Hongjoong is laughing
like full falling over in tears laughter
Like how dare you judge me for sleeping where I am safe from the light
After he finds his composure, he just tells you to get up so you can get food
And you do, and he doesn’t mention it again
Not in words anyway
But if ever he can’t find you, he always checks under the coffee table first
Seonghwa:
(PRETTY BABYYYYY)
Okay so Seonghwa was gonna be home in about 2 minutes based on his text
So, you decide to try and scare him
Knowing he typically goes to the kitchen first, you situate yourself in a cupboard
There’s literally a pan handle up your ass, but it’s worth it for the prank
Seonghwa’s 2 minutes quickly turn into a half hour
You’ve fallen asleep by then since you had been sitting still for too long
When your boyfriend finally gets home, he’s already shouting apologies into the front hall
“THERE WAS SO MUCH TRAFFIC”
just his excuse to complain no lie
As predicted, he goes straight into the kitchen, still ranting about his day
fully expects you to join him at some point
Did not expect that you would be crawling out from the cabinet though
You heard him yelling once he got into the kitchen and you were like “I guess it’s too late now”
You push the cupboard door open… straight into his shins
“AH OW WTF”
he jumps about 10 feet
so I guess the prank kind of worked??
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
you just kinda shrug, still a little groggy and sore from being in such a weird position
“were you asleep?”
you nod and yawn and then all of a sudden he’s soft
Scoops you up and plops you on the couch for cuddles
Will definitely make you answer his burning questions later but he’s feeling all snuggly now so it can wait
Yunho:
(Barefaced Yunho im in tears)
When Yunho comes home after work, having stopped and picked up ice cream because he felt he deserved it (AND HE DOES)
Struts around the house with the ice cream balanced on one hand
Hoping to find you and make you laugh
Cannot. Find. You. Arm. Getting. Tired.
Finally puts his arm down, totally defeated
Wanders through the different rooms before he catches a glimpse of your socked foot peeking out from behind the couch
Leans over and sees you fully tucked in, blankets and pillows everywhere
Knocked OUT
He gingerly steps over the couch… jk he tripped
Falls on you
You scream because 1) scary 2) ow
He’s stuttering apologies but also laughing his booty off
Asks what you are doing back there in the first place
“wanted to make a fort but got sleepy”
“FORT FORT FORT”
demands that you get up and help him finish making it
“I’LL GET THE SNACKS”
eventually, he returns with basically the entire fridge
then you set up a movie and snack together and its so cute but then you both end up passing out anyway because the fort is just the comfiest
Yeosang:
ok one thing I will say about Yeosang is I feel like he can pretty much fall asleep anywhere too so he’s not gonna judge you
how you ended up falling asleep on the bathroom counter may remain a mystery forever
you vaguely remember climbing up on it to get a better look at a zit or some other blemish you wanted to get rid of, but after that who knows
Yeosang rushes into the house after work
literally screaming that he’s gonna pee his pants
Runs into the bathroom and slams the door
Scares you and you almost slip off the counter and onto the tile floor
“GET OUT I NEED TO PEE”
you’re barely awake and he’s screaming at you
so confusing but you just kind of waddle out the door and fall into bed
you wait for him to finish and he comes out with a smile
“I’m better now”
“you woke me up you dramatic idiot”
“what do you mean? I didn’t wake you up, you were in the bathr- OHhhh”
You just kinda pout at him and he comes and sits next to you
strokes your hair for a little bit
You’re almost asleep and he can tell
“LETS EAT”
“KANG YEOSANG I SWEAR TO GOD”
and then you’re chasing him around
he is fearing for his absolute life
like he’s gonna suffer the wrath of a thousand suns for waking you up twice
boy better PRAY
San:
In the morning, San had woken you up and coaxed you out of bed with the promise of coffee
he did not tell you that he did not yet go and get the coffee
So, when he skips out the door to pick up your drinks, you literally just drop to the floor in front of the welcome mat
Like I’m sleeping and I don’t care where I just need it
And it was actually a pretty good morning nap until San almost knocks your nose off your face when he swings the door open
At first, he’s kinda worried like… “you good”
And you just scold him for almost killing you with the door
“Not my fault you chose to sleep on the floor. I got your coffee”
Thrusts it into your face
the only thing more bitter than your face is the drink
“you almost killed your sweet sweet baby aren’t you sorry?”
“it’s you’re fault in the first place”
and I mean he’s kinda right but he’s the reason you’re tired
waking you up early with lies… coffee wasn’t even ready yet
so you have a good natured squabble about your sleeping habits and San’s door-opening habits before coming to an agreement
You can only sleep in front of the door when he’s already home
And he can swing the door open with as much dramatic flare as he wants… as long as he can see you are clearly not within range
a perfect compromise imo
Mingi:
Mingi is such a dork okay
when he finds you curled up in front of the oven he starts laughing really loud
shakes you awake because he just has to know what you think you’re doing
You explain, patiently, that you are waiting for your brownies to finish, and that the oven is really warm
Mingi will just nod in agreement and be like “of course, of course. you’re so smart, jagiya”
Gets up and leaves you there for a minute but then returns
He has more pillows and an extra blanket
He also brought your laptop so you could watch a movie
He pulls you into his lap after he sits himself on top of some pillows
Covers both of you in the blankets and then makes you hold the computer on your lap
You fall asleep again within 10 minutes, and although he’s getting sleepy he’s like
Someone has to make sure the house doesn’t burn down
Mingi should not be in charge of this and we all know it
But what can he do?
So he watches the movie for a while before the timer on the oven finally goes off
You snap awake so quickly that Mingi jumps a little
“MY BROWNIES ARE DONE”
and then you eat brownies and cuddle some more
But Mingi is not allowed to have as many brownies as you because you did all the work in the first place so TAKE THAT
Wooyoung:
(hIS SMiLe)
When Wooyoung gets out of the shower after a long day and finds you… not in bed where you should be
He pouts…like a lot
Wanders around for a while
Almost gives up when he catches a glimpse of the hoodie (his hoodie) that you’re wearing
Opens the closet door…was kinda scared not gonna lie lmao
Then he’s LOUD
laughing at you like a crazy person
Screaming at you through his laughter
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARENT YOU IN BED? HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING HERE?”
“WOOYOUNG TAKE IT DOWN LIKE 18 OCTAVES, KID”
whispers, “sorry”
asks you again what you were doing
you just kind of look at him because, to be honest, you don’t really know either
just experimenting with some new bedding, I s’pose
He drags you out of the closet by your heels and forces you into bed where he cuddles you close
you can still feel his chest vibrating from all of the giggling
He never gets over this
every time he finds you sleeping in a new spot, he’s like “FIRST THE CLOSET NOW THIS”
Jongho:
Jongho gets protective when he finds you sleeping in weird places
He doesn’t want you to wake up stiff from being in awkward positions and everything
So when he finds you dead asleep on top of the kitchen table, he is less than surprised
Like he knows you’re a whole ass meal but seriously?
But also lifts you and walks you over to the couch
Sets you down and then just stares at you like a creeper until you wake up
When you do, he’s scolding you straight away
“You’ll hurt your back”
“what if you fell”
“MY GOD WE EAT THERE”
And then you’re laughing because even he knows he’s being dramatic and he always is when you do things like this
“thank you for moving me to the couch, Jongho”
he huffs but he’s like “you’re welcome”
Always tries to make you promise not to sleep in such strange places anymore
“What you do in practice, you’ll do in the game”
“What does that even mean”
“One day we will go out to dinner and then you’ll probably just get on the table and sleep or something”
So dramatic, but he really loves you and everything he says is just out of worry
But every time he scolds you, you both end up laughing at each other
And he secretly has a folder on his phone titled “where is y/n sleeping today?”
#ateez#ateez fluff#ateez reaction#ateez fanfic#ateez imagine#ateez scenario#fluff#fanfic#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez san#ateez yeosang#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#kpop
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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25
I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!
...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)
So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????
Yeah, probably.
Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(
> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair
Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?
Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.
Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.
When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.
You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.
He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.
Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?
> (==>)
Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.
> (==>)
Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?
ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?
Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)
ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered
YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT
ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin
Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.
JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.
Hah.
JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.
Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~
> (==>)
EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--
ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.
Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room
Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC
Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap
John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?
I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU
> (==>)
Yea this seems like a fucc room.
JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there
So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”
ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good
Ah geez.
ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!
Well, that’ll buff out easy.
ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.
Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)
Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.
That would be the feeling.
> (==>)
MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit
She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it
JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--
So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.
> (==>)
ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.
OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:
ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting
boot knockin XD
ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.
Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.
Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)
John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?
Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.
He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.
Just put your feet up yeah
> (==>)
WHAT A CUTE IMAGE
JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud
she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far
ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened
Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)
ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"
Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john
JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.
I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.
ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.
Oh shit
ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep
Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?
ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on
It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little
ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences
OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement
ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind
Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?
First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,
Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.
This feels stupid.
ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit
Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.
You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?
ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?
Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.
> (==>)
JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here
THANK FUCKING CHRIST.
If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.
ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good
Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it
ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push
eyeroll, but yeah, of course
> (==>)
Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.
> (==>)
Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????
That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or
ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean
Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)
JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me
I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.
> (==>)
JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^
Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.
> (==>)
THEY’RE SO CUTE
JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u
Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).
CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.
Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?
CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^
Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~
JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.
Uh oh.
Hopefully babies aren’t involved.
JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.
Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?
JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.
Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.
CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)
And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.
CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):
Yeah shake him out of this shit.
ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u
Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.
CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)
This is all gold
ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.
Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.
CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!
No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?
CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.
What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.
CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!
So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?
JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.
Um, what?
CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...
No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).
CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.
Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?
ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)
Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.
JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol
YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK
ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.
..............................
OOooooh, kay.
Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!
They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.
ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?
Love with who? Callie, John, both?
In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.
Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.
> (==>)
Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????
Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.
JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska
No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.
JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!
How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.
Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.
#Homestuck#hs2#Homestuck Liveblog#upd8#Homestuck^2#spoiler#spoilers#Roxy Lalonde#John Egbert#Calliope
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Blind Date
Requested by @swampythesweetsketch ! Thank you for your suggestion and I hope you like it!
~
“I’m so nervous,” Murray admitted, sitting in front of the mirror and staring at himself. “What if he doesn’t like me?”
“Dude, c’mon!” Sly retorted, barely looking up from where he was putting a top coat over Murray’s nail polish. “If he doesn’t like you, then I’m Santa Claus!”
“That can be arranged,” Bentley teased. “Seriously, though, Murray. Just be yourself. That’s how to be the most attractive.”
“Yeah,” Murray looked away. “I guess. But…”
“Hey,” Sly slid onto the vanity, gently pushing aside a makeup palette with his tail as he sat directly in front of his friend. “Stop worrying, okay?” He grinned. “You know this guy is into you. You’ve been talking for ages. It’s worth a shot at least, right?”
“Right!” Murray squared his shoulders like he was going into battle, and wasn’t wearing holographic nails and a smokey eye. “Thanks for doin my topcoat for me, Sly. And thanks for helping me with my suit, Bentley.”
“No problem,” his brothers said simultaneously.
Sly patted Murray’s shoulder. “Go get ‘im, pal.”
“We’ll be waiting,” Bentley promised.
Murray smiled, and headed out the door.
“All right, Sly,” Bentley said, “you know what to do.”
Sly grabbed his binocucom and cane. “On it!”
~
Murray was already nervous enough being in a sizable crowd with bounty on his head, but, just as Sly had assured him, Murray was the best at disguises out of all of them, and nobody would recognize “The Murray” with makeup on.
He liked his makeup look; just a foundation to match his skin tone, a little contour, blush, and a smokey eye. Sly had helped with his nails, and they looked good. It wasn’t like Murray couldn’t have done it on his own, but Sly wanted to help, and he was better at nails than at eyeliner. Murray chuckled to himself, thinking of the last time Sly tried to do a winged liner. He’d looked even more like a raccoon than usual!
He was sitting alone at the table, waiting for his date, like he had been for the better part of an hour. Every time the door opened, he would look up, expecting to see a handsome man looking for his table. But, it was just couples or families. He sighed. He was sure a blind date would’ve been better, seeing as nobody could turn him down just because of his weight, but maybe the guy had guessed, judging by how much Murray talked about recipes. Or maybe he thought Murray was a sissy, or…
The door opened again, to someone by themselves. Except Murray could recognize that tail in his sleep. Sly had a satin jacket over a button-down shirt, hair slicked back. He was wearing the dance shoes they’d stolen from India, and was looking a little lost. Murray was a bit worried for two reasons. The first was that Sly was here at all; had something happened? The second was that Sly could only handle big crowds if he was at a social event. Parties, he liked. There were excuses to mingle in small groups. He had never liked large throngs of people. If Sly has a panic attack…
But instead, Sly found him (after pretending to have been looking for him) and waved. Murray waved back, confused, as Sly strode forward confidently through the crowd.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Sly said, brushing dust off his lapels. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”
“You didn’t,” Murray said, a bit confused. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
Sly demurred, giggling shyly. “Oh, don’t be silly! How could I ever turn down a hunk like you?”
Murray wanted to laugh. Sly liked playing the effeminate gay. The question was, why was he doing that in the first place? At that moment, the door to the restaurant opened again, and Bentley rolled his wheelchair inside. People who were waiting for a table stepped aside to give him room. He was disguised as well, a cloth hat matching the more casual dark wash denim jacket he was wearing over a black necktie. Murray could appreciate the aesthetic...but he was still confused.
Bentley made his way towards the table. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, pitching his voice deeper in contrast to the way Sly’s had been more high-pitched. “Hey! What’re you doing here?” He glared at Sly.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” Sly pointed an accusing finger at Bentley. “I’m here for my date!”
“So am I,” Bentley said, and Murray smiled, starting to catch on. “One of us has the wrong table and you, buddy,” the turtle wheeled into Sly’s space, making the raccoon step back, hand splayed on his heart in dramatic offense, “are definitely at the wrong table. This gentleman is far too handsome for you!”
“I think he’s just the right amount of handsome,” Sly argues. “Just look at those bulging muscles,” he gestured, and Murray flexed, having a bit of fun now that he was in on the joke. “A man like that deserves the world!”
“Guys, you’re gonna make me blush,” Murray grumbled under his breath. Sly winked before sliding back into character as Bentley charged further.
“And? You still kept this gorgeous man waiting! Look at the poor guy’s makeup! All smudged because you were off…” Bentley waved his hand as he searched for an insult, “vaping!”
Sly gasped. “Do you think I would smoke around such a deceptively delicate flower?! The nerve!”
Murray looked over again as the restaurant doors opened. It was his real date, a buck with gold chains draped artfully around his antlers, dressed to the nines in a slimming suit to complement his slender body. Murray recognized the designer logo on his tie, and felt shame creep up his throat as he thought of his thrifted jacket and pilfered shirt. Even the silk skirt he was so proud of made him feel like a freak next to this guy.
“What’s going on here?” The buck spoke, his voice like molten chocolate, as he approached the table. “Which of you is Murray?” His eyes slid approvingly over Sly, and Murray hid his face. “I hope it’s you, handsome.”
“Sorry,” Sly slid in beside Murray, hooking his arm through the hippo’s. “I’m taken. Happily.”
“Me too.” Bentley took Murray’s hand, glaring at the buck.
The deer narrowed his eyes, then laughed. “Oh, thank god,” he said, relieved. “I could never be seen with such a,” he waved his hand derisively, “hideous beast.”
“Hey,” Sly said, voice sharp despite the different pitch. Murray recognized it as the raccoon’s “don’t fuck with me” voice, a rarely seen anger flashing in his eyes. “Murray is amazing! He’s funny and kind and always knows what to say!”
“His strength and skill can’t be matched!” Bentley agreed.
“And tonight, he’s my date.” Sly declared. “So fuck off.”
“No, he’s my date,” Bentley argued. “You fuck off!”
As his two friends bickered, Murray watched the deer walk away. He felt a little bit upset at the rejection, but his friends were nearby, defending him on what was technically their night off. He felt warm inside even so. It was good to be with his brothers again.
Once the deer was out of sight, Sly deflated. “Ack, my throat,” he complained. “I don’t know how you do those high-pitches voices, Murray. I feel like I’ll be raspy by tomorrow!”
Murray chuckled. “It takes practice.”
“Let’s get out of here,” Bentley suggested. “I think we’ve caused enough of a scene.” He glanced at the table. “Nothing needs to be paid for, right?”
“Nope. I didn’t order yet.” Murray replied.
“Let’s get Chinese,” Sly said, stretching as Murray got to his feet. “I saw a great place on the way over.” He locked his arm through Murray’s, hiding a yawn in the hippo’s bicep.
“Do you mean you saw it or smelled it?” Bentley asked, guiding Murray to the handles of his chair. That was about equivalent to hand-holding, Murray knew.
Sly laughed. “Both!”
“Chinese sounds fantastic,” Murray said, sighing in the fresh air. He was still upset about being stood up. He was glad for his friends, but…
“That guy was a complete jerk,” Bentley grumbled, going back to controlling his own chair as Sly let go of Murray. It wasn’t a sudden “no homo” sort of thing, though. It was more of a natural progression as they walked together on the sidewalk, with Bentley’s chair a half-step ahead. “What didjya day his name was?”
“Pierce Monogram,” Murray said. “Trust fund baby, I think. Works in the family business selling shoes.”
“That’s ironic,” Sly mused, swinging his arms up to rest behind his head as he walked. “He wasn’t wearing shoes.”
Murray laughed. “No, I guess he wasn’t. That’s a dealbreaker for me.”
“Murray, you don’t wear shoes either,” Bentley said.
“Exactly!” Murray went on, still laughing. “Somebody has to wear the shoes in the relationship!”
All three of them laughed, and couldn’t stop laughing until they reached the Chinese.
~
“Ah, the smell of sweet, sweet MSG,” Sly licked his lips as he set out the various cartons and bowls.
“This isn’t going to give me indigestion, is it?” Bentley asked skeptically, wrinkling his nose.
“No, no, I got your egg rolls and plain rice here,” Sly set out the food separately for Bentley before using a set of chopsticks to serve himself liberal amount of pork fried rice and vegetable lo mein, claiming one of the containers of scallion pancakes for himself.
“Man,” Murray grinned, slurping his hot and sour soup, “I forgot how good Chinese food actually is.”
“Right?!” Sly beamed. “Glad I thought of it. I haven’t had a good Chinese in months!”
“It’s delicious, I agree. Pass the wonton soup, Murray?” Bentley asked.
“What’re we watchin?” Sly asked between shoveling noodles into his mouth.
Murray blushed. “Are you guys gonna kill me if I say I wanna watch “Pitch Perfect” again?”
Sly swallowed noisily. “Nah, I like that one all right. It’s funny.”
“I’ve no objection,” Bentley said, taking off his glasses momentarily to clean them of the fog from his soup. “It’s date night, after all. You always pick the films for date night.”
“You guys still wanna call it date night?” Murray asked.
The gang had always jokingly held “date nights” for self care, movies, and video games. But that had been before Murray was officially out of the closet. His friends were straight. He thought they hadn’t had a date night in a while because his friends didn’t want to do that sort of this with him now that he was out as gay.
Sly leaned forward. “You okay, big guy?”
Murray sniffled. “I...I dunno, I thought you guys...didn’t wanna do this with me anymore.”
“Why wouldn’t we?” Bentley asked.
“I’m gay,” Murray confessed. “I like guys.”
“So?” Sly twitched his tail in confusion. “You’re still my brother. My friend.” He waved his tail in Murray’s face, making the hippo sneeze. “In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear,” the raccoon snuggled up properly against Murray’s side, chittering quietly, “I love you, pal.”
“So do I,” Bentley affirmed. “And...not to be too blunt about it, but...it was pretty obvious to me that you weren’t straight. But,” he cleared his throat, smiling. “That never mattered to me. You’re still my brother. And I still love you.”
Murray rubbed the tears out of his eyes. “Thanks, guys.”
“Sure thing, Murray,” Sly replied, butting his head against Murray’s shoulder before sitting up to properly shovel more food down his throat.
“I’ll get the DVD,” Bentley abandoned his food momentarily and rolled his chair over to set up the TV. Once he was done, he took his food and rolled closer to the couch, so Murray could enjoy his comfort, too.
Murray smiled warmly, happily chowing down on Chinese food and shouting all the words to the songs at the top of his lungs.
That was the best part about being home, Murray decided as he laughed at Sly nearly choking on a wonton and Bentley snorting soup out his nose. Being with the people who loved you unconditionally.
#personal#sly cooper#sly cooper fanfic#it’ll be on ao3 soon i’m just lazy#this was such a cute and wholesome suggestion i love it#murray#bentley#blind date
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Flying to the stars with you
Prologue
???:Are you ok?
*Girl crying*
???:Do you need help?
*Girl nods yes*
???:I'm Satoshi, what's your name?
???: I'm Sayori
Satoshi:Nice to meet you,Sayori!
Sayori:Nice to meet you too!
Satoshi:Why were you crying?
Sayori:I just fell from the swing and end up hurting my self
Satoshi:Were you all alone here?
Sayori:Yeah
Satoshi: Don't you have any friends?
Sayori:No,me and my parents just moved here so I really don't know what to do
Satoshi:Well,I can be your friend,if you want to that is
Sayori: Really? You'd do that?
Satoshi:Of course!
Sayori:Sure,I'll be your friend
Satoshi:That makes it official,but you have to promise me something
Sayori:What is it?
Satoshi:Promise me you'll tell me everything that's troubling you,ok?
Sayori:Okay,I can do that but you need to do the same!
Satoshi:Sure,pinky swear?
Sayori: Pinky swear!
Satoshi:From now on, I'm your best friend and i'll protect you from on!
Sayori:Yeah!
Satoshi:Want to walk home together?
Sayori:Sure thing!
Satoshi:Where do you live?
Sayori:Just near those houses
Satoshi:Were just two houses apart
Sayori:We can play here tomorrow
Satoshi:That's right,so we'll meet tomorrow after breakfast
Sayori:Ok!
Satoshi:Let's go home
Sayori:Right!
9 years passed since that day we promised that,and I tend to keep that promise till the end of time
Chapter 1:The Annoying Girl next door
*Alarm going off*
Satoshi:*Yawn*
Satoshi:What time is it?
Satoshi:7 huh?Well time to get up
Satoshi:*Yawn*,Good morning mom,huh?
Satoshi: Looks like she gone
In his mind(There's a note,from mom)
Note:Satoshi,im have to go early today because of work, there's some loaf of bread in the fridge and some strawberry jam in the cupboard,sorry i have to go early today,i love you sweetie!
Satoshi:*giggles*,Thanks mom,hmmm there's some more bread and jam huh?,ok then i guess a shower first then breakfast!
5 minutes later
Satoshi:Wait,what time is it?,ohhh crap it's 8:30,class starts at 9 I need to hurry! Breakfast done,Bag here,I.D.,got everything let's go!
Satoshi:Guess I'll take my bike today,Yahoo!!!Hahaha
Hi,I'm Satoshi Yanagira,I'm a high school student from Miyagi prefecture, I'm 15 years old and at the 9th grade, it's only been me and my mom and my dad left us when i was at 4th grade.
???:Heyyyy!!!Wait up will you!!!
Satoshi:Sayori?!
That's Sayori Tonigami, she's famous in our school,we're at the same class,the only we see each other is when we're going to school or going home,if i spoke to her when the male is surrounding her i'd be dead right now,she may be famous but she's the clumsyest person i know cuz she's my best friend since we're kids.
Satoshi:You slept again late did you?
Sayori:Yeah i did my homework hehehe
Satoshi: That's why i don't wait for you anymore,your just so forgetful,clumsy and sometimes annoying
Sayori:Your mean,Satoshi!
Satoshi: It's just the truth
Sayori:Meanie!
Satoshi:Ok ok im sorry,let's just go ok?
Sayori:You got it
We got to our school and we gone in together
Sayori:Hey Satoshi
Satoshi:Yeah?
Sayori:Can you go to the roof after your done cleaning?
Satoshi:Why?
Sayori:I need to tell you something
Satoshi:About what?Just tell here
Sayori:I want it to be just the two of us okay?
Satoshi: You're serious huh?Ok then just be there in time
Sayori:Hey im not a sleeper you know!!!
Satoshi:Hahaha sure thing, let's go inside
Sayori: Right!
We went inside the classroom and the boys in the room was looking at me with the stink eyes so i just looked down
Sayori:Are you alright,Toshi?
Satoshi:Yeah,wait you haven't said that since you... nevermind
Sayori:What is it?
Satoshi: It's nothing don't worry
Sayori:Ok then
I don't want her to worry about a minor thing
The school day was as ordinary as it is,nothing special happened at all,then the bell rang and our class was over,i was stuck in my seat spacing out looking at the window
???: Hey dude,what are staring at there?
Satoshi:Huh?Ohhh Miroku what's up man,im just spacing out,why aren't you going to the cafeteria yet?
That's Miroku Takeda, he's the captain of the baseball team and my bestfriend since i went to high school,he was the only willing to talk to me basically,we always joke around whenever we're around each other but he sometimes take everything seriously
Miroku:I was waiting for you but you were just looking at the window, something wrong?
Satoshi: Nothing's wrong I was just thinking of someone
Miroku:Is it Sayori again?
Satoshi:No,you idiot it's...private, let's just go to the cafeteria
Miroku:Sure thing im hungry
Sayori:Satoshi!!
Satoshi:Sayori,what is it?
Sayori:Don't forget your promise,ok?
Satoshi:You mean the promise earlier or the promise from we were kids?
Sayori:Meanie! Ofcourse won't forget our promise when were kids,just come to the roof later and just go alone!
Miroku:Hey,Sayori!
Sayori:Hey,Roku!!!
Satoshi: Let's go,Miroku
Sayori:Hey,can i come?
Satoshi:No
Sayori:Awww why?
Satoshi:Cuz your fan boys and fan girls are there
Sayori:What?
Satoshi: I'll see you later
Miroku:Man dude,you could have at least helped her...
Satoshi:...
Miroku:Hey im sorry Satoshi I didn't mean it
Satoshi:Nahh it's nothing let's just go to the cafeteria ok?
Miroku:Yeah
Satoshi:I guess i'll just need to wait till the school day is over
After eating lunch me and Miroku went outside for fresh air,im still thinking about what Sayori's gonna say later when i get to the roof
Miroku:Dang dude there really surrounding her up there
Satoshi:...
Miroku:Haaaa, what's up with you today?
Satoshi: It's nothing im just really stressed out from the lessons today
Miroku:Nope not that,the other thing, you're hiding something from me
Satoshi:Sorry it's just a personal thing, i'll tell it to you when i'm ready to tell you
Miroku: Fine,but don't be scared to tell me your problems im your bestfriend after all!
Flashback:"You need to tell me everything that's troubling you,ok?"
Satoshi:*giggle* you really are an amazing friend you know that,right?
Miroku:Hehehe you know me the most amazing and handsome captain and friend
Satoshi:Hahahaha and you're a little bit of an idiot but it's in you're personality
Miroku:Yeah
Satoshi:Well let's get going the bells gonna ring sooner or later
Miroku:Your right,well good luck when you meet up with Sayori after school
Satoshi:Thanks,man
Miroku:No problem,you better get her to say yes if your gonna confess
Satoshi: She's just my childhood friend nothing to special really
Mikoru:Whatever dude let's get going
The bell rings throughout the school,so i went to my classroom, again nothing special happened,after class got to cleaning with my classmates
Satoshi:Done,that was tiring
Student:Sure was
Satoshi:Well i'll see you guys tomorrow
Student:Yeah,see ya Satoshi
It's time to go,what's up with her,one thing to find out is to go to the roof and meet up with her,
Satoshi:Sayori?You there?
Sayori:Hey,Toshi!
Satoshi:So what were you gonna tell me?
Sayori:Umm...can you help me with my homework?
Satoshi:Are you freaking serious?! That's all you wanted to tell me?!
Sayori: I'm just kidding you know,meanie
Satoshi:Ha,just tell me,no more joking!
Sayori:Do you remember the day we became friends?
Satoshi: Ofcourse that's...oh no that's tommorow,crap i totally forgot!
Sayori:Do still remember our promise?
Satoshi:What about it?
Sayori:You said i have to tell you everything,right?
Satoshi:Yeah and the same goes for me
Sayori:Well,i'd been hiding this since we went to middle school and...
Satoshi:What is it?
Sayori: I'm...in love with you
Satoshi:What?!
She confessed to me?!
Satoshi: You're joking,right?
Sayori: Actually no,im not joking right now,I had a crush on you since we were at middle school
Ohhh god,what the heck is happening?!
Satoshi:You were hiding your feelings for me since middle school?
Sayori:Yup,i just gathered up the courage to make you come here after school and you came
What am i gonna do?
Satoshi:Look,your my bestfriend but...I need to think about it
Sayori:I can wait,hehe
Satoshi:Yeah, let's go home then
Sayori:Ok, let's do it!
Satoshi:hehe
I can't believe it,she just confessed to me
Sayori:Are you coming?
Satoshi:Be right there
And that was the day my childhood bestfriend confessed her feelings to me
Chapter 1 complete
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