#I also wanted to practice poses and expressions that I don't do as often.
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Bad Ending Continue >>Restart<<
#It's not canon.#I'm just feeling shitty lately so I'm channeling that energy into emotionally destroying myself via gpose.#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#Erenville#WoL x Erenville#erenwol#X'vahl Tia#Erenvahl#I also wanted to practice poses and expressions that I don't do as often.
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-FAQ-
Hello! I've gained a whole bunch of followers lately and I've been getting a lot of questions about commissions, what my setup is, what brushes I use, etc, so I thought I'd make a post about it to answer everyone's questions at once !
Putting them under the cut <3
Commissions:
Commission prices are listed in my pinned post. You can send me a private message about your commission idea and we can get to talking :) It is helpful to have enough references handy (character, outfit, descriptions etc)
I am generally a fast drawer but I also have a job and a physical disability so there might be moments I can't work on your commission. But that is never longer than a few days at most.
Payment is upfront, the full amount and via paypal only. I know this might seem a bit scary but unfortunately there are a lot of people who end up not paying for commissions and I want to avoid that.
During the process I will send you frequent updates and will ask for input, to see if it is going in the direction you want. You can ask for changes during the sketching progress but once I've started on line-art and coloring, no big changes will happen. (You can for example ask for a different color for a shirt etc, but not for a different prop or pose or expression)
When it is completed, I will send the drawing to you via email. The drawing will remain mine and it is not to be sold or profited of by the person who commissioned me. If the commission is for something commercial/for selling, that needs to be discussed. I prefer to do drawings only for personal use!
For more questions, my dms/asks are open :)
How long have I been doing digital art:
I've been drawing digitally for about 5 years now i think? But before that I've been drawing and painting traditionally literally since the moment I could pick up a pencil.
Set-up:
It's just me and my ipad and apple pencil laying on my bed. I wouldn't even know where to begin for those whole multi-monitor/screen setups ;-; I draw only with Procreate
Brushes:
I tend to play with different brushes from time to time to get different textures, but generally i use the same few for most of my drawings/styles. My favorite one is the Peppermint Brush, for sketching. I use it in every drawing i make! I always sketch with it, and often do the line-art with it as well! And it makes for a nice textured brush for rendering as well! (i used it for a lot of rendering of the armor in this drawing)
The (procreate) brushes i use a lot are
for medieval style: inking - Ink Bleed (for line-art) artistic - Quoll (for coloring)
for general style: calligraphy - Chalk (coloring/rendering) sketching - Peppermint (line-art/sketching)
for realism: calligraphy - Shale Brush (full rendering) Also using the shale brush for smudging and erasing when drawing realistic
for lineart: smooth pencil from this pack by Heygiudi
How/why do you choose a base color:
I tend to look at a few different things when deciding on a base color/color palette.
the overall color of the reference pic
the color i associate with who or what i am drawing
the feeling/vibe i want to give off with that drawing
color has a BIG impact on the vibe of a drawing, so it is something i keep in mind when im drawing.
Using a color as a base to start, helps a lot with my drawing process. It helps me pick out other colors so they match better. It helps me get light/dark values right. And the chalk brush i use, has gaps between the strokes, so the base color will always come through a little. Having the same color come through in the entire drawing, helps pull all the colors together if that makes sense? I always start with a solid base color when i am painting traditionally as well!
Advice:
PRACTICE!!! just keep drawing and practice. I know this is such generic advice but truly practice is The Way. Learn from other artists but don't compare yourself to them. Everyone's artistic journey is different and there's no "good" or "bad". And most importantly make sure that you have fun when you're making stuff :3
I also learn a lot by studying art I admire and love. Figuring out what it is I like about it. (for example, the line thickness or the shapes or texture etc), and try to incorporate that in my own style in a way that is not directly copying or stealing.
#my art#FAQ#frequently asked questions#art process#art tips#drawing process#procreate#brushes#commission info
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𓂃 ⊹ jackielot dating deaf!reader 🧏🏻♀️
they've been putting in a lot of effort to learn sign language for you. lottie even convinced her parents to hire a private tutor. initially, you thought it was unnecessary, as you could teach them yourself. however, they insisted, wanting to learn it faster and properly.
whenever they learn a new phrase or word, they eagerly rush to you to show you. and it’s painfully obvious how jackie subtly directs your conversations to "casually" drop the new sign she's learned 😭😭 you think it's cute though, so you refrain from teasing her about it.
besides sign language, the three of you have developed a silent language to communicate more effectively. it includes gentle taps, specific gestures, or a certain number of squeezes. it's become so intuitive that even your girlfriends use these signals between themselves, sometimes even when you're not around, without realizing it.
they're having a bit too much fun with the sign language tho, especially during exams. "i'm not helping you cheat, jackie," you discreetly signed back at her, being cautious so the teacher wouldn't notice. jackie pouted at you but couldn't hide her silly smile.
they’re also practically forcing the other yellowjackets to learn it as well. while some of them are lazier or barely friends with you, they've managed to get all of them to learn at least ten basic words to communicate with you, even if it's just to say hi.
so far, shauna is the most advanced, likely because she spends a lot of time with jackie. you suspect your girlfriend probably put up a fight to ensure shauna learned this much. nevertheless, you're grateful because now you can have intermediate conversations with her, and you have to admit that sometimes it's nice to sign with someone other than your girlfriends.
jackie's love language is physical touch, which makes her incredibly content in your relationship. you often depend on her touch or gestures for communication when you can't rely on lip-reading or hand signals, and jackie is more than happy to comply.
on the other hand, lottie leans more towards words of affirmation, but this hasn't posed any challenges in your relationship. she consistently expresses her affection through little notes and messages, even jotting down love notes and doodles in your school notebooks.
once, you woke up and found your hearing aids were not on your bedside table. turning to jackie, who was peacefully sleeping next to you, you noticed them sitting on her bedside table instead. that's weird, you thought, not recalling leaving them there. as you picked them up, you realized jackie had adorned them with cute little stickers.
they’re very patient with you, never getting annoyed or frustrated when you ask them to say things again or speak more clearly for you to read their lips.
when watching a movie together, they always ensure the subtitles are on, so you don't have to strain to read everyone's lips all the time.
jackie has this habit of telling you that she loves you by tracing the letters "I L Y" in the palm of your hand with her index finger, giving you a soft kiss afterwards and fidgeting with your fingers.
lottie always keeps her arms protectively around you, whether it's draped over your shoulders or wrapped around your waist. when she wants to get your attention, she softly squeezes her hand around you.
when you're feeling stressed, she often soothes you by gently stroking your eyebrows with her fingers in a repetitive motion until you drift off to sleep.
they're frequently curious about your perspective and thoughts on certain things, recognizing that your experiences might differ from theirs. they often ask you how you imagine certain things would sound, sometimes out of genuine curiosity and other times playfully teasing you.
“who do you think has a sexier voice? and don’t lie just so that lotts doesn’t get upset,” jackie quipped as lottie rolled her eyes.
they're incredibly protective of you, never allowing anyone to mock or disrespect you in any way. not that anyone dares to, considering their popularity in school as members of the yellowjackets.
most of the time, you fall asleep by lying on top of either one of them, resting against their chest, or in any position that lets you lay your ear against their heart, so you can feel its steady beat.
they're constantly debating whose turn it is to cuddle you. so now, they take turns each night. while you lie on one's chest, the other cuddles you from behind, letting you feel her gentle heartbeat against your back.
#𓏲 📂 ⋮ my works .ᐟ#jackie taylor x reader#jackie taylor x you#jackie taylor x y/n#lottie matthews x reader#lottie matthews x you#lottie matthews x y/n#yellowjackets headcanons#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets x y/n#yellowjackets x you#lottie matthews headcanons#jackie taylor headcanons
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Corp Zomphis, 2020s Design Speculation
I want to talk about Corp Memphis again— that corporate style of gangly, dead-eyed characters trapped in a neoliberal purgatory, posed between pot plants and spreadsheets.
I don't need to go too far into describing it. Heaven knows there are already so many takes on it that you're probably sick of hearing about it. However, I think a succinct description of it can be found at the end of that Wired magazine article from a few years back:
Wired: Corporate Memphis: The Tech Industry’s Favourite New Art Style
"But, despite all this, it may not be worth lamenting the immense reach of Corporate Memphis or the design possibilities we’ve been deprived of because of it. The style is, after all, simply a reflection of big tech, and how it has constructed a world with users on one side and executives on the other.
A more interesting and visually rich digital space would mean more than coming up with a new illustration style—it would require a change in how the tech economy is run. Until then, Corporate Memphis is likely to stick around, bendy arms and all."
This touches on why Corporate Memphis looks the way it does: it's a reflection of the material reality it's made in and the economic conditions it serves.
To work in a design job today often involves being a "multi-practitioner"— corp speak for a jack of all trades. You might have multiple platforms to manage, need to create a mix of media (motion graphics, branding, illustrations, etc.), and produce multiple pieces of content, all for some pointless product consumed by placated consumers.
And that’s all in a day's work, to be repeated the next. It's gruelling, unforgiving, mind-numbing work—especially if you take pride in what you do. Life doesn't become easier, but it does become bearable if the medium you're working in isn't fighting against you. A style that can work across platforms, can be easy enough for anyone in the department to use, but versatile enough to allow effort when there's time and money. It's homogeneous to the point where the messy, qualitative complications of art direction don't come into play. You can download a vector stock or make it in-house with relative ease and speed, and it looks good enough. The consumer, despite being fatigued by it all, seems to find it good enough. And that's what marks the style really: it's "good enough." It's a style linked to speed and practicality in the face of intense demand and pressure, low industry wages, accessible skills for entry levels, and high corporate barriers as everything's locked within Adobe's infrastructure.
But its strength as this homogeneous vector glob style, with its lack of any real individual identity, is also its biggest weakness. Although I'm sure some designers might enjoy working in this style, it's not really a style designed for creative individual expression. It's called "corporate" for a reason. If you want something different, you might be tempted to try freelancing...
Outside the corporate design department, you might think you're finally free to create in your own style, no longer having to work in that dreaded Corporate Memphis one anymore. But it’s hard enough to work in your own individual style under the best of circumstances. That's because the whole economy is based on the same structures of endless content production for algorithmically optimised consumption that allowed Corp Memphis to thrive, so you're still facing familiar obstacles—creating vast amounts of content, quickly, for wide and insatiable consumer audiences. So, in a way, we have this algorithm-enforced market of content, favouring those who have optimised their style to be better seen by it. It's no wonder Corporate Memphis has endured past its welcome.
However, despite all that, illustrators and artists still plod on. They end up making stuff, somehow navigating these systems— either playing them like a fiddle, outright rejecting them, or going accelerationist about it, like with something such as Corecore. Self-expression can take many forms, and that potential untapped capital value is tantalisingly mouthwatering to corporate capitalists.
Corp Memphis is optimised to a fault. It's too polished, too automated, and fits too well with the well-oiled design apparatus. Thus, it's developed a semiotics to reflect this—it's cheap and it's perceived as cheap. That's why an art director (typically) won’t just stick some Corp Memphis imagine on an album cover or use it to illustrate a particular lifestyle magazine. It wouldn't suit it, it's signalling the wrong stuff. Culture, art, ideas, aesthetics are reflected in work created by practitioners with an artistic vision, or that taps into what's going on in the present. And this is reflected in their art style, something Corp Memphis can't easily do, if at all.
That's why there's still a kind of fringe freelance industry with a speciality in design identity, otherwise known in the industry as "creatives", albeit small and closely gatekept by the likes of legacy institutions such as Goldsmiths and corporate industry leaders like The HudsonBec Group. If a corporation needs design to be spiced up with some kind of creative identity, it'll turn to these agencies or freelancers from this background rather than use Corp Memphis.
But the sad thing is how a corporation doesn't have total control over the process and thus can't control the value and pricing since they have to deal with hiring these pesky freelancers. But how does a corporation even know who to hire? With moodboards, of course! It’s easier to hire someone in-house with "good taste," who can simply curate hot practitioners to hire, like a dragon collecting .png gems. Although a corporation will try to get the best deal it can, these pesky freelancers can potentially negotiate a price for themselves, especially if they’re some big shot who holds a lot of cultural capital.
But another benefit of a moodboard is that it can be converted into a design guide. Simply share the sorts of designers and illustrators that a corporation dreams of hiring but with a cheaper designer, and ask if they can copy the desired style for less. Failing that, they can just outright steal the style anyway. If the creator is small enough, who cares?
But the value and cultural capital that corporations must seek outside their infrastructure, the very thing Corp Memphis cannot do, comes at the price of what Corp Memphis can do. Freelancers are annoying to corporations. They’re inconsistent, outside their remit, and expensive—since any level of lost capital is an expense. And worse of all, they don’t own them. Work made in-house in a corporation is completely theirs to be used forever, however they see fit. A freelance gig is limited to the contract, and typically you have to keep paying for different uses, or pay a lot if it’s expected to be used for something big.
How dare these skilled workers... sorry, freelancers, leverage themselves. If only we, the corporation, could control and treat the work of freelanced art direction like we do Corporate Memphis. Well, maybe we can—with AI.
AI is a whole can of worms of its own. But I will outline how AI shares a lot with Corp Memphis in terms of mechanics, but it's not "good enough" like Corp Memphis is in terms of its aesthetics.
Let's put it like this, if Corp Memphis is above a stock image, which is above clip art, which is above a farting Elsa asset-flip mobile game, then AI-generated images are below that, sharing the same disdainful semiotics of a YouTube thumbnail. AI renders are synonymous with trash, with viewers combing over images seeking out any sniff of AI to decry it. This is, of course, unfortunate for corporations, because AI is wonderfully cheap and efficient to produce. The problem with even "the best" AI is that it still reeks of AI, because it's trained on relatively limited data sets that are the wrong semiotics that corporations typically use and that their consumers are typically familiar with. It's not consistent with typical standards and trends. But even the AI art styles synonymous with AI are really that of unfortunate ArtStation artists whose work has been stolen, scraped, and trained into these models. But none of it is directed, follows trends, or should I say, reflects trends favoured by brands.
Design industry standard work is also bolstered by their industry standing. Their "credibility" sets them apart from, as Mark Zuckerberg puts it, the worthless creators and publishers who ‘overestimate their value’. Sure Zuckerberg might say design is worthless, but let's not forget that Facebook Alegria, the design language developed for Facebook by the mega studio Buck Design in 2017, pretty much started Corp Memphis! I don't know how much that would have cost Zuck, but given how huge Buck is, I don't know, close to $1 million if I had to speculate. So what Zuck is actually saying is you are worthless, without your titles and industry standing, and are ripe for the scrapping.
I still think it would appear crass to the wider public if someone as tactless as Zuck were to steal wholesale from something like It’s Nice That's list of featured artists, due to the "prestigious" tutelage and culture capital of such trendy practitioners. Good luck if you're on your own though.
There's also the issue of copyright. I've no idea how litigious David Rudnick is, maybe he wouldn't even mind, but perhaps it would be legally safer to just hire a copycat of him rather than train an AI on his work. There's no shortage of copycats of him after all, and they'd probably do a better job than AI anyway.
No, a corporation if it wants to avoid all this mess will instead use AI this way:
Step One: Moodboardism
Directed by their little Pinterest moodboards and Instagram saves, a corporation will find the next latest and strongest trend that they want to utilise, be it Y2K or whatever's current on the human ant colony-as-algorithm site, Carri Institute's aesthetics.
Step Two: The Sellout
Hire an on trend freelancer with a large sack of money marked with a dollar sign to do a year's worth of graphic content in a particular on trend style. This is all then fed into their in-house AI database model.
Step Three: Rise and Grind
It's then handed over to the in-house sweatshop graphic designers as the latest toolset that they have to use. They're now tasked with grinding out prompts in this trendy style with the consistency, efficiency, and speed once only achievable with Corp Memphis.
So congratulations, now we have AI that isn't generic Facebook shrimp Jesus trash; it'll be its own unique trash. And sure, perhaps some AI artefacts might come through, but that's what the in-house graphic designers are for— to Photoshop those fingers. The corp no longer needs to put up with some meddlesome expensive freelance art director, as the AI model is consistent enough that someone in-house can direct it, just like Corporate Memphis. And even then, if it still comes across as AI-ish, the hope is that for the general public, it's "good enough", just like Corp... You get the idea.
And this is possible because a freelancers' perceived autonomous strength as corporate mercenaries is also their biggest weakness. They think they can dance with the devil and win, making essentially veneers for capitalists, never once thinking the corporations will one day come to extract capital from them too. Corporate Memphis is never going to die; it's going to mutate into a corporate zombie... Corp Zomphis?
Why bother hiring individual skilled freelancers to do a job in a specific style when you have a year's worth of art, seeded by one of them, to prompt out your own "unique" designs in their style. It's more efficient and cheaper to approach design as a egragore hungry for its next feed, rather than pay for a single illustration. But you'll just have to trust me when I say that I'm not making this up; annual hires to train their own ai is genuinely what big corporation are doing.
But what about the industry, are they just gonna let it happen? I don't know. But I think freelancers don't typically see themselves as a working class, but instead as individualistic, competitive even, little businesses. This is why I think corps will be able to steamroll over freelance designers and illustrators with AI driven Corp Zomphis, because there's no solidarity amongst designers and illustrators, unlike US animators with their union and perception of themsleves as workers. If one freelancer rejects that devil deal to make the annual quantity of prompt feed for a corp, then the next hire will. I remember even hearing the AoI stressing how it wasn't a union, as if union was a dirty word. Instead its existence is to help one interface with their corporate client overlord. Well, soon enough that interfacing will be about betraying your industry freelance brethren to a corporate egragore, basically turning everything into a potential Corporate Memphis reskin. If Corporate Memphis is the design logic of the economy of the 2010s, then I wouldn't be surprised to see people nostalgic for it in the future, if the speculative 2020s model I've described turns out to be true.
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Hi, firstly I just wanted to say that I love your art, especially with the way you use dynamism and angles in character sketches. It's really beautiful and I always look forward to seeing more black and white pieces from you.
I just wanted to ask, as a beginner artist whose been drawing on and off from 2017 onwards and hasn't seen much improvement, are there any resources or books you would recommend for someone still trying to grasp form and shape? Especially in creating 3d forms with line? I'd love to be able to draw characters in a similar way that you do but my cubes and cones never seem to come out correctly and humanoid shapes are even tougher. Thanks again for sharing your art.
Hello! Thank you very much for the compliments. Up until somewhat recently the B&W pieces were my favorite things to draw, so I get you. I did fall in love with coloring eventually though.
Alright, there are lots of things that can be done. I have had some classical training, and done human figure studies live, but honestly not nearly as much as I probably should have. You definitely should still do figure study as much as possible, especially in person. I'm just prefacing to say it may not get you to draw the way I draw I suppose, as its only part of what I've done to improve my drawing ability.
There are a few good resources to start with, notably the Loomis method, which a lot of artists use as a base. That's how you should use it too, ideally. It's not about copying his work exactly, it's about understanding just how the human body is proportioned, and adapting it from there. It doesn't have to define your thinking, it's just a good guideline. It's possible to structure a body quite differently than Loomis (and there are many many books for that), but the truth, which is, the proportions of the human body, is still there in all mindsets. Once you understand that, you can understand the reason for each approach, and even forego them to express something more unique, abstract and visceral.
The biggest thing you should do though, is always be observing the world around you, both online and offline. Figure studies are nice but they remove one of the most important things, and that is context. I find that people who will use those large libraries from people who pose professionally with bows and swords and the like will often draw technically impressive images, but they still feel like a fake pose. It doesn't feel like the person is holding onto the weapon like their life depended on it, or like they have a relationship with the object, that they pose and move in a certain way that reflects their personality. Live study with strangers helps rectify this somewhat.
Online you should also be following lots and lots of different artists! Don't limit yourself, pay attention to how they construct their drawings, how they go about things. It's important you follow a lot of people, see how they evolve. They are not only a point in time, they are also learning and evolving just like you. It's especially good if you can have artists friends to draw and share stuff with. I have a deep-seated belief that we draw art for others, to express ourselves to them, so they need to see it.
It may sound weird for me to say if you want to draw like me try to draw unlike me, but I'm just saying what I've done. I follow a lot of people and draw from a lot of places. Ultimately the main appeal of my forms is their dynamism and volume as you've said, but it's good to be versatile so you can always explore new avenues!
Now, you've done all these things, you are practicing them constantly. Now is the most important part. Keep drawing!!! Just keep drawing no matter what, no matter how bad you think it looks. You have to believe you have something to say, to express, no matter what. You say you haven't improved, but I don't believe you! Maybe you are faster, maybe your technique is better, maybe you have better habits, maybe you are a little more patient. There are a million ways to improve which don't even appear in the image. You have to keep drawing, NO MATTER WHAT!!! You have to believe you were born to do this and you will do it well, don't worry about what others think.
I can only draw such dynamic forms because I have kept drawing and masticating and elaborating this idea that is called my style. When you are drawing you are developing your own little language, and only when you are fluent you can start writing good books with it. Being fluent will take many years, you must accept that. If you take breaks, take breaks so you can keep drawing later. Take care of your health so you can keep drawing. You will only get to see your drawings become beautiful if you live long. To live a long and healthy life is to keep drawing.
That is my ultimate advice really, let that frustration build up, but keep drawing anyway. You will force yourself to find solutions to release that frustration as you do so, and improve. Maybe it's simple, but it's the only thing that is true no matter what. Don't worry about AI or whatever, none of that matters. Just keep drawing!
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Hi, I love your art so much. I wanted to ask, how did you get so good at drawing anatomy & posing? Are there any resources that you use for referencing, have you studied anatomy? Any tips on that? Thank you ;_;. Also wanted to express my appreciation: I really admire how kind you are, especially with how generously you share detailed art tips and advice.
hi! first of all thank you so much ❤️ it's funny that you say that because i think anatomy and posing are two of my biggest weaknesses/things i really need to improve on! i am very reliant on using posing dolls like the clip studio paint models and magicposer.
i try to do a bit of studying every day to break myself out of this reliance and build my visual references. croquiscafe used to be a go-to suggestion for figure drawing practice. i can't recommend them anymore but you can still find their resources online, and there's also the Art Models series of books. in addition to more static figure drawing poses i try to study more dynamic poses (photos of figure skaters and volleyball players are personal favorites) and ones from odd angles (jookpubstock has a lot!)
i don't know how helpful my advice will be, though, considering how tremendously much i have to learn! i will say, i think finding ways to improve your art that are fun for you personally are important- i often see more intense books like anatomy for sculptors recommended and i find that it's so hard for me (out of pure lack of spine) to focus on more academic approaches that it ends up as wasted time
thanks again and take care! i'm happy to hear my advice can be helpful, i always worry i have less to say than i'd want :,)
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It's just that well simply put Gohan didnt have any time to himself ever. There was always bullshit happening. Then Goku died and Goten was born and Gohan had to keep his mother from falling apart and his baby brother healthy and happy. And it's rewarding work. But yknow
When he wasn't tending to the baby or helping with other domestic chores, he was in his room studying. It's nice to learn about the world he fought so hard to save. It's also nice to not have to have a relationship with his body (as with fighting) so that it's easier to dissociate from all the bullshit. Academia was a lifeline out. It was also a definitive "good" thing to be doing. It was also an escape. And also a source of the stress that he's so accustomed to. And yknow. Maybe the letters started to dance on the page after a while. A life unlived will find life in other places. Maybe the historical figures were his friends. Maybe he memorized chemicals like one would memorize constellations. Maybe different mathematical functions began to represent and facilitate different experiences of emotion. You know how it is
I mean maybe not. Maybe he got out enough and was present enough to not dip into that. If his time alone was really that needed, then I imagine that he would get angry if interrupted; but I don't imagine that he snapped often when his mother called him to attention or when his brother needed something from him. I think that he finds fulfillment and peace in his family and he wants to be there with them. But I think that he also finds habits of repression or self-denial.
I'm not saying that he represses all of his anger, because he doesn't. What he does repress is infinite amounts of survival rage. What he doesn't repress - and what seems like he's not even aware of when he expresses it - is sharp annoyance. A mild example would be when he snapped at Goten for bothering him during his training, which was super funny. A more poignant example is Every Time Somebody Insults his Great Saiyaman Persona somehow. First he was interjecting into his classmates' (strangers!) conversation to correct their misnaming of the new hero, and he didn't seem to notice how rude his tone was or how surprised his classmates were. Then later he stopped two reckless drivers, and they made fun of his goofy persona, and Gohan (without resistance) just threw a petulant fit - and he did not seem to notice how he was Destroying The Road by stamping his foot.
My favorite example was when Krillin told him he looked dumb. I should probably get screenshots. Gohan's Eyebrows Twitched and Reared like Rattlesnakes. And his passive aggression was enough to constituent manslaughter. Masked behind saccharine positivity. It was a vile display. What do YOU know about Fashion, Quiverin..! (<- What we sometimes call Krillin in my house becasue he's always cringing and quivering and being fearful lol.)
OK I didn't get screenshots but I have this timestamped video from the youtube.
youtube
And it makes sense that Gohan is super defensive about The Great Saiyaman. It's the first thing that he's gotten to do/be that was up to him.
I understand that Bulma designed the original get-up, but it was still collaborative; it's not like when Chichi dresses him in what she can afford to buy or make, or when Piccolo dresses him in what he himself likes to wear. And Gohan picked the name. He picked the poses. He picked the voice. He picked the personality. He picked the role.
You know that Oscar Wilde quote that goes something like "give a man a mask and he will tell you the truth"? Yeah. There's madness behind that mask.
It's also a very significant time for him because he's for the first time having the opportunity to associate with peers in a consistent way. And he wants so bad to be "normal" and that's also why the mask is so integral and alluring. And he wants to be a normal bloke and make normal friends, but at the same time, he's out of practice without really realizing it; he hasn't come to terms with how in order to make friends, you have to put yourself out there. He thinks that he can simply make friends while hiding himself and lying about everything. And when Videl starts trying to figure out who he is and pry the mask off, it's a horrifying inconvenience. And Gohan just isn't in the habit of receiving well others' companionship, having lived isolated for so long; when Videl makes him teach her how to fly, he's nice to her, but you can tell that he just wants her to leave.
Her insistence on drilling into him is why they become friends and eventually marry, though.
He seems like an optimistic fellow, and his appreciate for life must be sincere, as his history necessitates it - if life sucked, all of that would have been for nought. But remember, for a good seven years it was just him, his mother, and the new baby. No drama or adventure to bring him out into the world. No friends his age that he could connect and evolve with. Just him up there on Mt Paozu stagnating.
There was definitely a lot of goodness and happiness and stargazing and lovely dinners and hanging out with dinosaurs. But there was also a lot of boredom and avoidance and why-is-the-baby-crying and mom-please-put-the-wooden-spoon-down and mom-please-stop-crying and can-i-have-the-time-to-study-unbothered-please and an undercurrent of feeling bogged down that really isn't apparent until you get out and get moving.
Gohan never says this outloud or thinks this definitively, but it's a natural truth, like the wood that a house is made of - he is going to do everything he can to be a good brother and to protect his baby brother. And it's a given, too, that he'll do everything it takes to keep his mother sane and happy, because everybody else shies away from her, and it's SORT OF Gohan's fault that Goku had died, and he very much wants to give back for all of the nurturing that his mother has given him.
And when you want to be a force of Good that badly, it completely turns you away from the parts of you that may be Bad, and encourages you to be afraid of certain feelings or needs.
When Gohan snaps at people out of irritability or defensiveness, it really seems like he doesn't know that he's doing it, and it comes out in the way that a hurt child may just act out. Everything else that is ugly about him just gets buried deep. And that makes him a weirdo. That's what it seems like anyway
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Hey! I want you to know never doubt it, your art is FAN-TASTIC 👀 and it deserves all the praise it can get! 💖✨️❤️
How do you come up with your designs for the characters? Diego in particular; how did you come up with the design or the color scheme and the like! Seems a complicated process of thought!
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words, it means a lot!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh gosh, there's a bit to unpack here, but I'll try not to drag it! Diego is an interesting choice, not many people ask me about him, you are very attentive stranger! It's kind of funny because when I first created him he had a simple antagonistic role, mainly because I didn’t have much experience with character design or storytelling at the time. Both him and my skills are still growing.
When designing a character, I start by exploring their personality, background, and role in the story. So now I aimed to capture Diego's inner qualities and flaws, as well as how his environment and relationships influence him. From his pose, to the way he carries himself, his expressions, the silhouette of his body e.t.c. all of that must hint to the viewer who is is as a person.
For instance Diego has mostly the role of an archer in the rebellion, so he should have well-developed upper arms and shoulders. However, given his stealthy and cunning nature, I imagined him to be toned and athletic rather than overly muscular despite being a warrior. Additionally, Diego has a subtle 'posh' vibe to him even when he's being erratic, which I try to show through small details like elegant movements or the gestures of his hands.
After deciding his body structure I move over to all the other details that add to his character. For example I also wanted his clothes to balance his personality with his role in a rebellion, so they are a bit more elegant for a rebel, reflecting his slightly vain nature, but I also tried to portray them as practical. Everything he wears has a purpose, whether it’s for mobility, stealth, or durability in battle. The elegance in his attire is subtle, maybe in the cut of his tunic or the way his boots are laced, but it’s there, showing that he’s someone who cares about how he presents himself. Now that I think about it Diego is pretty much like an elf ranger 😆
As far as his colors go, one of the first things I knew I wanted for Diego was red hair. Even though it’s a bit cliché, I felt it symbolized the fiery aggression he carries inside. As his character developed, the red hair came to represent not just aggression, but also his passion, determination, and his intense need to prove himself (feelings he often keeps hidden). The color also reflects how he loves fiercely, sometimes to the point of self-destruction. I focused on keeping his hair red and built the color scheme around it because having that one fixed detail made the rest of the design process easier for me.
After that I used complementary and softer colors such as greens and earthly browns to highlight his outfit, eyes e.t.c.
It can definitely seem daunting to create something from scratch, I always try to go back to basics so things don't turn into a rumble in my head. For example, when I'm choosing color schemes for either characters or environments I tend to just look back at color theory, and I know that might seem dull, but it’s incredibly important and useful for understanding how colors interact and complement each other (just like it is important to understand anatomy for drawing figures).
I won’t dive into the technical details since there are plenty of online tutorials, but one reference I highly recommend is James Gurney’s book Color and Light. It’s been a game-changer for me and it's a tool I frequently return to when I feel stuck in my coloring process:
youtube
Palette generators are also useful resources:
https://color.adobe.com/create/color-wheel
Even stuff like character creator and dress-up games can be surprisingly effective for inspiration and kick starting a base for character designs and color schemes if you are feeling stuck. Some of our most beloved original characters started from this, combined with the techniques I mentioned above. For example, Dilla was initially created by @katerinaaqu using one of these games (left). I then drew her and fleshed out her body structure and tailored her appearance to better fit her personality and physical descriptions, as we both envisioned her (right) :
With this I also must point out that the development of Diego and the entirety of Chronicles of Metamoor was a team effort. My friend @katerinaaqu, an awesome writer who collaborates with me on this project, played a big role in shaping these characters. Her detailed descriptions, stories, and insights were very important to bring them all to life ❤️
I think this is all for now. I apologize if this explanation was a bit general, but if you (or anyone else) have more questions about Diego’s design or any of our other characters, or even just any general question feel free to ask! Your support and interest in my art and our story mean a lot to me, thank you so much! ❤️🌹
#artsofmetamoor reply#character design#Diego#chronicles of metamoor#original character#collab with katerinaaqu#artists on Tumblr#metamoor#meridian#diego original character#w.i.t.c.h.#w.i.t.c.h
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I just went through all your f1 art work and omg it’s so amazing!!!??? I’m wondering how you’re able to really capture the drivers likeness in their faces because they look so accurate!!
thank you!!!! lots of reference and many years of practice in drawing faces/likeness!!!! ive been very focused on portraiture for probably about? 7-8 years now? so I have picked up a lot in terms of being able to draw people and have it look like them. I also use a shitload of reference images, i literally stockpile pictures of drivers faces from every angle, so that i always have something to look at no matter what pose i want to put them in, I'm constantly screenshotting whenever i see an angle i don't have or i think might be helpful one day 😭 it definitely helps when drawing as fast/often as I do, because i don't have to "make up" what theyll look like at that angle because i have a reference that i'll work very closely off of. yeah. And once I've drawn someone a lot of times i tend to get a better hang of their face and then i'll have more fun with different expressions and what have you, obviously the more familiar you are with someones features, the more you can exaggerate them or "understand" how they work without having a direct reference to it, so like with charles and lance who i draw a lot, i feel like you can sometimes see that come out in their drawings, where i might have a little bit more fun with their expressions because i feel more confident in my ability to capture their likeness organically. yeah. im rambling now.
tldr: lots of practice and lots of references
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dude your art is so GOOD!!! Do you take any classes or have any tips to share? that resource post you reblogged the other day was helpful but i've felt so stuck in my art. I don't know if you have anything u learned that just made something click for u or anything like that?
Tysm anon!!!👍
In terms of your questions, I apologise i advance for the long answer im about to give and possibly things you already know haha:
I guess in terms of what classes i take, Ive gone from GCSE to A level Art and design (Fine art), and both courses have helped me to learn the importance of observation studies.
However, its moreso all the art i practice in my own time that has played the biggest part in my art improvement journey. I adopted art as a big hobby around 2018, and really ever since then I tend to draw/create for myself every day, however big or small it may be.
I guess my first tip would be to indulge in a 'sketchbook' or space to work in freely, it could be any form but the importance is that its personal and can be picked up whenever. I find that having a sketchbook to draw in has really helped with productivity and creating new ideas. I think you can go into a sketchbook space with any mindset and it can work wonders, like for example if you wanted to focus purely on challenging yourself, you can do that! If you just, want to doodle without thinking, go ahead! After all, its a sketchbook for you and nobody else, so go wild!
My next tip would definitely be, when you are feeling stuck in art, to take inspiration from a wide range of different things be it in real life or on the internet, a building or a really cool tree, since I find it defintiely fuels the creation of new ideas/concepts that can provide a path out of that creative rut. I guess to an extent there may always be periods where you have that 'I have no idea what to draw!' Feeling, and thats okay! Sometimes its refreshing that helps the most. But I often see that the solution to being in a rut is usually REFERENCING, wether it be trying to accurately draw the anatomy of an arm or if I just saw a cool design/pose/style on Pinterest and i drew a bunch of wacky characters from it. In fact, I find that places like Pinterest or Resplash are such good resources to hone imagination and generally most art skills by looking at and drawinf from all the cool images (and get some of that inspo!). And if im not using Pinterest, im usually using an art book as reference! (The itsv and splatoon art book helped me so so much lol)
On the topic of REFERENCING, its mega important! Depending on imagination/memory feels pretty good at times but its always beneficial to have image references in your process when you find its good to have them. I woudl always recommend having a reference when drawing poses/expressions/anatomy because the more you use them, the more you learn about how an object like a face muscle, a torso or even light behaves and looks and the easier it is to draw/depict them.
The next tip is uh YOUTUBE, or any account/person who's art inspires you in particular. I found that certain channels like Ethan Becker, Marc Brunet, Marco Bucci and more have helped me the most to gain confidence in drawing and learning how to practice it better. Of course, theres a lot to learn from a plethora of other channels too, even ones that dont specifically promote themselves as teachers! Also, if theres a certain style/art approach or an artist that appeals to you, study it in any way you like! Analyse an artist's work or ask/find out about their personal process (or even watch a speedpaint/art stream)! Sometimes it can be a big inspiration booster and skill boost to do just that (plus the 'artist' could be any piece of media/thing too!! Like a game or something).
Ok ok last paragraph haha, on the topic of your last question. Thinking back, its hard for me to define any specific moment or thing that gave me a 'click' moment. Its more like a process of growth that starts with learning and understanding a new thing, then familiarizing myself with using it successfully/'correctly' by studying and practicing, so that eventually its like muscle memory or easier to use in my work.
Hope this helps!!! If theres anything else you want to ask, dont be afraid to dm or send another ask!!
#ask#answer#art#im still learning so much but heres all that i can give in its long windedness#theres stuff from like#less than a year ago that i would def redraw haha#but i guess most artists feel that way about some of past work#anywayy#listening to music while sketching away GOES HARD but that might jut be me
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I found your pokemon clay stuff n was wondering if you had any advice for someone new to clay work! I'm Struggling a bit with getting things smooth and symmetrical
oh god it's neopets sculptures I'm so sorry, I'm very very tired today
You're totally fine, no worries!
I talked about my approaches to getting stuff smooth in my answer to this ask!
When it comes to symmetry, that's something I still struggle with, and I think might just require lots of practice. I think what I can offer as far as tips are:
When i'm making matching elements that i want to be the same size, like ears, cheeks, toes, or basically anything symmetrical, I try to set aside equal sized little balls of clay from the start that are planned for those elements. Because you're always just kind of eyeballing it, they do usually end up being slightly different sizes from each other and i have to add or remove some material, but its still a lot easier than making one ear first, and then going to start on the second one and having no idea how much clay you used on the first one and how you're going to get them equal sizes
Make sure to periodically stop and turn your sculpture around to look at it from different angles! It's easy to focus in on one area and getting it to look perfect, and then pull back and realize that it doesn't work from other angles- if you frequently turn it and compare what you're working on to the rest of the sculpture, it can help you catch inconsistencies before you sink a bunch of time into them, which can make the process less frustrating!
On a similar note, its often smart to avoid trying to smooth things out and get them looking 'finished' too early- this is something that I haven't quite gotten the hang of yet either, haha. My college friend who majored in sculpture and also works with sculpey told me that she was taught to leave things fairly rough and unpolished until she'd gotten the forms and mass how and where she wanted them. The sculpture can look kind of lumpy and have obvious seams in progress because you're adding and removing clay from areas without smoothing it, but once you get the basic form down you can start refining it. Its a lot less painful to make changes that way than if you get something looking smooth and nice early, and then have to mess it up to improve the overall sculpture (and also helps you avoid squishing finished parts while youre trying to firmly attach other large pieces)
if you go for a more asymmetrical pose or expression, it won't be as noticeable if things are slightly different sizes, and it can end up looking more dynamic. i struggle with this a lot too, because when i started sculpting as a kid, what i really wanted to make was TOYS!! and i wanted my sculptures to be in neutral poses so they'd feel natural in most scenarios while playing pretend. Now I'm still fighting my subconscious to get out of that mindset, haha. Obviously though theres nothing wrong with making sculptures in more neutral poses if that's what you want to do, and a lot of the time I still do it, its just got some additional challenges
OH and as far as general advice wrt polymer clay:
don't be afraid of using wire, or even wooden toothpicks as structural support!!! these can save your life
tin foil cores inside sculptures can save clay and helps with keeping some elements lighter so they don't droop in the oven and bake more evenly
if you're worried about something falling or drooping in the oven, you can sculpt some tin foil into a support for it to rest on- this can end up leaving some little tin foil marks in the clay, but you either can fill those in with clay on subsequent bakes, or if they're shallow enough sand them off. Its way easier to fix those later than it is to fix an element that drooped and then baked into that position
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How2Draw Comics: Conceptualize
So, it looks like the mouse adventure won the vote. Let's do this.
The first step to drawing and writing comics is to get a basic concept down on paper. For me, this comes in the form of creating my characters and giving them a world to live in. I also use this step to help me figure out what art style I'm going to use in this comic.
I usually figure out what art style I'm going to use before moving on to individual characters and the like. Above I figured out how to anthropomorphize a mouse and put expressions on its face. I also figured out how humans are going to look in this comic. Don't worry about individual characters at this point. Right now you are designing a world.
Once you know you can draw a generic character, it's time to look at making your characters unique individuals. One important thing about comics is not to make your characters too detailed. If you already have a visual concept that's pretty detailed, practice drawing them a whole bunch. As you draw, you'll find the less important parts of their design fading.
Draw them in different poses, outfits, interacting with friends, etc. Consider the world they live in and how that impacts their lives. You want to be able to recognize who is who. I gave the brother a nick in his ear, and the sister often carries around a spoon.
I assume you have a basic story in mind. This is where you experiment, by putting your characters in a bunch of different situations. I am an impatient person so I usually only do a page or so, but that page (plus my mind's eye) helps me figure out personalities, motivations, and lifestyle for my characters. Not names though. I suck at names.
Don't get discouraged if some of the things you draw look nothing like you imagined your character. This is why you practice! And who knows, one of your bad drawings might give you inspiration. Lady Giraffe was just a generic human design, but now she's... kind of the main antagonist. Yeah.
In summation, figure out your art style (how you draw your characters and settings), design your characters (who are they? What do they like, how do they react and interact, etc) and don't worry if your drawings don't look the best. The important thing here is practice. Draw your characters over and over again, and don't be surprised if they change a lot. I mean, my characters didn't, but I got lucky.
There are a lot of books and videos that will help you with character design if that's hard for you. They will do a more thorough job of teaching than I did here.
Next up is Story: writing the scenes and situations your characters will experience.
#how2draw#how2draw comics#art tutorial#comic#mouse#if you are a discovery writer I swear this will help you write comics#maybe#you don't have to be good at drawing to draw comics#otherwise I wouldn't be doing them myself#geez I hope this helps at least one person#I found out you can add image descriptions. That's cool.#rats. i have to think up a story for these two.
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4 6 and 12 for the art ask game 🎤
4. Piece you wish got more love?
Oh that's a toughie. Idk I draw for me and when I post it I'm thrilled to get attention but every drawing is so dear to me. If I had to choose then probably the one of Angie I just reblogged haha! I don't really post art often or consistent enough to feel like I deserve art based fame haha
6. Favorite thing to draw?
I love doing eyes and facial expressions! And weirdly I also like doing hands? For faces its just so satisfying to get the exact expression I want down on paper, and for hands idk I think I'm just a freak. They're fun to draw.
12. Describe your process while drawing
I open my sketchbook. I stare at it for an hour. I am suddenly struck with an idea. I then hallucinate wildly for another hour until there is a drawing on the page.
But for real, with people I usually start with my line skeleton to get the pose down, then add flesh/face/fingers, and then do clothes. If the spirit moves me I might do a background but more often than not I just end up doing sketch pages so it's all just people and practicing poses and clothes.
#thanks for the ask bestie!!!!#i love yapping about my art#mystery gang#<-mutuals tag i am now committing to#jets jasks
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The "42 character development questions" for both Gan and Alma: 9, 15 and 21.
Heyo, thank you for the ask!
9. How do they manifest energy, exhaustion, tension, or other strong emotions?
When Gan is excited and energetic their aloofness takes a back stage and a mischievous gremlin that wants to fling fireballs at everything takes hold. Big toothy smile, flailing tail, all the good stuff. Warmth radiating into every direction, loud laughter and happiness that is rather contagious.
When Gan is exhausted, their stoic veneer breaks. Their posture shrinks and you can see a miserable and weakened person instead of a steady warrior. Slouching walk, hair falling on their face obscuring the pained expression. You can tell this exhaustion was welling up for a very long time, but Gan hid it to either not bother everyone around her, or not being questioned about it herself.
Tension doesn't really affect their expression - they may furrow their brows, but that's it, but their whole body does tense up. Unless it's extreme tension, let's say a breakdown - then they'd curl up and grab their head. A defensive position.
The illustration below shows some other emotions and how they physically manifest.
I haven't drawn anything expression-related for Alma, so the response is going to be text-only.
Alma is very energetic by nature, but if something particular is a source of her excitement, she immediately gets on her competitive streak. She gets a grin that's both determined and somewhat hungry, the same way a monster grins at their toy. Not a predatory smile, but a playful one.
Exhausted / depressed Alma is mostly motionless. Her face shows no anger or sadness - only whisks of regret and boundless numbness, gaze that leads nowhere, hand weakly lying on her chest. Looking at her you see - this is it, this might just be the finish line. But it isn't. She'll get up again, like time and time again before. Hopefully.
Tense Alma is angry Alma pretty much. Whatever or whoever is posing a challenge - she'll take it head-on and she's fully focused on it, groaning shortly when the plans don't work out and immediately taking onto the next one. Plan B. Plan C. Plan C2...
15. What kind of inner life do they have — rich and imaginative? Calculating and practical? Full of doubts and fears? Does it find any sort of outlet in their lives?
Gan's inner life is more intuitive and imaginative, I think. They're often lost in thought or preoccupied with feelings and tasks they have at the moment rather than making long-term plans. Magical theories, experiments, whatever they're currently observing and so on and so forth. The lack of foresight is apparent though, or rather - the confidence to deal with what comes when they're pulled out of their inner world.
That inner world is also occupied by loneliness, sadly, and Gan tries their best to distract themselves from it by either silently sticking around with the others and doing something or receiving tasks to do.
Alma's inner world is rather restless - it's like a long to-do list that will span for decades: Alma always has ideas of what to do next and what steps to take to achieve either her short-term or long-term goals. A headspace that's both chaotic and busy, yet among countless tasks and possibilities fester bad outcomes that might occur. So yeah, doubt and fears are present, but instead of trying to ignore them like Gan does, Alma kind of boils in that evil soup while going about her day.
The fact that Alma chooses not to talk about the inner turmoil with others does not mean it isn't constantly present in her own mind.
21. What kind of relationships do they tend to intentionally seek out versus actually cultivate? What kind of social contact do they prefer, and why?
Gan desperately needs people who would take care of her, entertain her with something new to accomplish and show warmth that would melt her initially cold exterior.
She intentionally seeks out groups of people rather than individuals to be her employers or coworkers, because that's what they're most used to: a group large enough so that their existence in it won't be questioned and scrutinized.
But in reality, if you wait for some time and let her warm up to you - you'll pretty much have a devoted open book of a person as a friend.
Alma prefers partners and no more than 3 people to hang out with. She seeks someone mutually devoted who's willing to accompany her on her crazy ventures. While she's fine with large groups of people, what she really wants is emotional intimacy and feeling of unity, trust and honesty. Though it might become codependent at some points.
Usually, introverted loners seeking friendship and bookworms flock to her because she's fairly straight-forward and offers comfort in her presence, be it conversation or fresh food.
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Study Break - Artist Model: Sally Mann
At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women Book by Sally Mann
I took a look at Sally Mann's photo book, At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women. I choose this photo book as an example of using portraiture to portray young women. Though a different age group than I'm doing, it captures an awkward time of change in terms of societal expectations. A time caught between childhood and adulthood. She talks about how these girls still exist in an innocent world in which a pose is a pose, but what adults make of that pose may be the issue. And I think this is such an interesting point as young women reach a point where they begin to be sexualised when they don't want to. In her photos, she portrays them as they are, and, I hope, they want to be seen. They are the ones portraying the gaze vs what other put onto them.
Therefore, in my photos, I want to take photos of my friends where they feel comfortable and feel as though they're being portrayed how they want to be. There's always a fear of being sexualised when we don't or when we don't want to be. And not have to appeal to social expectations in terms of the quote-on-quote looking perfect. I find that when a camera is pointed at us, we all begin to think of if we look good and feel our insecurities come out. Therefore, it's important to me in my practice that I portray them so they don't feel insecure and uncomfortable.
I also like how she portrays how these young women interact with their environment. How they exist amongst it and their place in it. This is something I want to explore in my photos and look at spaces my friends inhabit often and how they interact with them.
Photos sourced from: https://www.sallymann.com/new-gallery
The way the girl is staring at the camera makes it feel as though she's telling us to leave her alone. To not perceive her in a anyway than she is. There is a strength in this, a power she holds over everyone. It's confrontational, but it feels as though it's comfortable for her. The word doom is seen below her face, traced into the dust of the car. There is a feeling that the girl is afraid of something and masking it with anger. But I'm not sure what the doom is alluding to. But it does add an element of intensity and background to her as a person. The lighting falls perfectly onto her face, showing the importance of her expression.
This photo is beautiful. For those with a positive relationship with their mother, there is truly a special bond. A connection to another woman represents strength and support. The strength in both women's poses and body language is representative of this. The way she is holding herself up and the appearance that the mother is far along in her pregnancy also show strength and resilience. The lighting through the trees illuminates and highlights them and their faces. The mood feels intimate but strong.
I like the way this photo uses shadows and highlights to set the mood and visual story of the photo. The feeling of the man's control in this photo is frightening. The shadow concealing him creates a silent and concealed sense of control and power. Making it more intense than if he was illuminated. His hand griping her adds to the control. The light on her face and her position is the central focus of the photo. Her body language feels trapped and alone even with the figure behind her. The framing of the house feels suffocating and again trapped. The use of lighting adds intensity to certain points of the photo, such as both figures and the front of the house.
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tubgirl, lemonparty, themacuser, 1m1j, goatse, all the other ones i avoided or didn't see... were expressions of humanity and we forget sometimes that the ways we box ourselves in for comfort hold us back. i'm not saying go get a bunch of old dudes to pose naked with you but also, i'm not not saying that. express the weird fucked up stuff. fight the boxes, fight the censorship.
for real. humanity would be much less beautiful without the "shitty weird internet shit" as hardplace puts it.
"we're playing palworld instead of burning some shit down and we should be burning some shit down but palworld's fun. and there will be something after palworld." -he's ranting right now while i'm writing this and they converge "the homeless, they don't give a fuck around here man, they do whatever they want. that's what you get when people don't get their shit. give those guys their shit."
the world is only comfortable because we make it comfortable, and then we fear losing that comfort with all our souls.
i've been having panic attacks about going back to work. again. just like every time i have a poorly defined illness that has lasting symptoms. because the work structure doesn't have wiggle room built into it, and when i'm not contagious i should be working; except that expectation is not real, it's harmful, i've been on burnout and it exploded into lowered immunity because my body gives the fuck up when i push it. and so i am at home now, dealing with the burnout that's only barely lightening as of the past couple days, and i hope i can go back tomorrow without panic attacks and anxiety.
there's no time to mindfully reset my mind when everything is a constant go-go-go. and if i dont do that i end up unemployed and homeless and maybe moving states a fourth time lol
my entire life has been a quest to maintain the flexibility that allows me to appreciate the fucked up, absurd, inappropriate, impulsive, unhinged, unacceptable, uncensored parts of life because that's where enlightenment hides. and as i've grown and been browbeaten into conforming, i've struggled to reclaim that mindset. everything is better when i keep my perception loose and flexible and open. everything is better for everyone. i'm more charismatic, people fucking LOVE that embrace of the open world. it's not hard to see why. there's a drive every human has to seek that. but we have a fear of it beaten into us, and we are terrified of the things we can't have, just like how seeing someone freely expressing the sides of ourselves we've beaten into submission makes us horrified. it hurts to see that freedom. and we either become consumed by it or mark it our enemy. often both.
which is probably where a lot of paraphilias come from.
anyway, i know this is a long ramble starting off with classic internet garbage, but think about it. practice a little anarchy in your daily life. do something fucking weird. make a craft you didn't see on tiktok. mix some flavours you wouldn't mix. wear stripes with spots. who gives a fuck? innovation can only come from deviation
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