#I already did a lot of research on the topic but more won't hurt

[telleroftime]

With how that poll is currently going (regarding who I will ship Reader with), I'll probably end up writing for Sukuna. However I do have a few other blind!Reader oneshot ideas that I would love to eventually get to.

That specific one does involve Heavenly Restriction so Reader will end up with some Daredevil like abilities (not to that extreme). They cannot see because yadayada Six Eyes yadayada Gojo took it all like the twin he is, and in return they have better instincts than other humans and can almost taste the cursed energy of other sorcerers. Although if I wanted to make it more solemn fluff oriented, Nanami would work better. Or, as it's been brought to my attention, Toji for that family trauma cause I somehow forgot he practically gutted Gojo.

Then I have another idea for Sukuna that would be set during the Heian era (so I get to write True Form Sukuna) where the Reader sneaks away from their house and strolls through the adjacent woods. Sukuna would take an almost morbid curiosity with them. That sort of "what a curious human" mixed with "how much can I get away with." Of course, all whilst mainting his ego. Who am I to rid Sukuna of his sadistic personality?

And then there's another idea for Toji, possibly held outside of canon events though after Toji already married once. Reader would be a member of a very rich family. CEO type of deal, "eat the rich and they're the rich." They've been sheltered all of their life, to their disappointment, and with the money that's offered Toji ends up being their bodyguard. And as the oneshot would go, Reader ends up growing in Toji.

Oh and actually, slightly on theme but not really: Anaemic!Reader x Nanami because that man would adjust his meals to make sure Reader is taking in that extra iron content (I'm not projecting, you are).

[cenorii]

RE headcanons again!

PART 2

This time I will add what animals I associate them with. Again I'll write a lot about some and just a little about others to supplement the last part.

Sherry Birkin

— It's hard to say what her favorite color is. She probably doesn't prefer any particular color, she likes dim palettes.

— I'm inclined to think that Sherry could have been Wesker's goddaughter. Birkins could have introduced him to her, and since Wesker has known William since childhood, he trusts him.

— She obviously attended NEST because Annette gave her a G-related pendant. Sherry probably had some instructions for emergency situations in which to use it, but kept it a secret. Chief Irons knew about the secret of the pendant, probably from William himself, because he was bribing Irons. And Wesker also knew about the pendant, it's in his first report.

— I recently rewatched all the clips of Sherry in re6 and noticed how reluctant she is to talk about Wesker every time the topic comes up. She never says anything bad about him, avoiding talking about him. I think that as a child, Wesker treated her well or seemed like a good person, but when she found out who he really was, she was deeply disappointed. She cherishes fond memories of this man, but keeps it a secret, because she will surely be convicted.

— Sherry calls Jake "Jake Wesker" instead of "Muller," even though she knows Wesker had nothing to do with his upbringing. Did she downplay the significance of Jake's mom? No, I would look at it this way. This is further proof that "Wesker" is not a negative word to her. She secretly treats him better than others treat him, so she called Jake by his last name with pride.

— In that moment when the runaway Jake and Sherry were changing clothes, they had a conflict. But I think Sherry was angry not only because Jake's words hurt the memory of her father, but also because they hurt the memory of Jake's father.

— Sherry was in government custody from 1998 to 2009. She was in custody mainly because of Wesker (file "A Deal with the United States" from re6). The government believed that Wesker needed a sample of the G-virus, but it was obvious that he had already gotten it through his own means. Perhaps this is a hint that there is some sort of connection between them after all. He could be her godfather who would want to return what was connected to him, or he wants to using her as research into how viruses are able to enter into symbiosis with humans. Sherry mattered to him in some way, and everyone knew it, including Sherry herself.

— I think she's in love with Jake, but because of little contact with other people and the outside world, is too shy to admit it.

— She has a deep respect for Chris and Claire, and considers the latter as close as if she were her second mother.

— The animal in which I see Sherry is a weasel.

Chris Redfield

— I think his eyes are gray. Gray eyes in real life can appear a different color depending on the lighting. In different photos with different lighting, they can turn brown, blue, even green. So I like to think that the confusion about Chris's eye color came about because of his gray eyes, which are just unlucky.

— For some reason, Chris doesn't like to show his young photos. Perhaps he is embarrassed by the fact that he used to be thinner and "weaker". Perhaps it makes him feel insecure. Or maybe he doesn't like his rebellious nature from the past.

— He's a golden retriever puppy.

Ada Wong

— Ada doesn't use perfume while she's on a mission so she doesn't reveal herself.

— She is black cat.

Wesker

— He hates ties. Maybe he was forced to wear them at some point.

— Wesker gives a fake name in non-serious situations like tailoring or meeting with the hairdresser so people won't be embarrassed or try to suck up to him. His name is more influential than himself, and it's a thing he doesn't like to abuse.

— Perhaps one day he wondered if he should have glasses with an interface.

— His totem animal is a possum. He's so good at playing dead.

— There is a stereotypical opinion of him based only on the outward image he builds for others. Few people delve into the lore or what is behind his fake "cool" image. So many people are susceptible to the halo effect, this is a cognitive bias where a person has a prejudice against someone based on their appearance or certain actions. People subject to this cognitive bias do not look at this person with a broad view, slipping into prejudice. This is why many are convinced that Wesker can't be bottom, and aggressively lash out at those who think otherwise. I, on the other hand, believe that Wesker is flexible in this regard, which is maximally not obvious. Wesker to me is "that" character from the teen shows, who builds himself up to be cool, but at night cries from loneliness or is very vulnerable. He's bottom, but that doesn't degrade his ego, it doesn't make him weak, because "bottom" he's only with those who "worthy" of him.

— Speaking of worthiness, I believe that Wesker is unwilling to use his powers all the time by thinking of other people as unworthy. Only Chris is worthy to stand up to that power.

— Wesker keeps Chris's dog tag.

Jill Valentine

— Jill's favorite color is sky blue, as it was the color she chose for her uniform in S.T.A.R.S. and continued to wear throughout her life. Every outfit Jill wore on any mission had shades of blue in it. It is definitely a color that she appreciates very much.

— Jill is definitely not the best cook, she can hardly cook anything better than scrambled eggs. She share this skill with Chris, who isn't very good in the kitchen either.

— Chris is her best and closest friend, her partner. They mean a lot to each other, but it's always platonic.

— Jill's orientation is bi. She probably liked Carlos, but I won't deny that there could have been a close dynamic between her and some woman too. Jill, like Chris, doesn't have much time for a personal life, so she didn't go into much detail about her preferences, nor did she have an love affair.

— She didn't like Wesker even before the betrayal. Maybe she realized before anyone else that there was something wrong with the guy, so she figured out his betrayal before Chris did, who resisted the information. She is perceptive and able to see through people.

— Her totem animal is a manul.

— In the days of S.T.A.R.S., she was the one who woke Chris, sleeping at his desk, just before Wesker or Chief Irons came in. She would cover her lazy (in those days) friend from trouble, getting the brightest and most genuine smile from him. Wesker knew of their machinations, but turned a blind eye to this childishness.

— She tries not to think of the time she spent under Wesker's control. Her dislike for him has only gotten stronger because of it. Of the horrible things about those years was not only violence, but also being with Wesker and Excella. Excella's flirting with Wesker was repulsive to Jill. She hated every moment of it.

— After 2009 her hair was permanently white, because of this she dyes it back to its original brown color so that nothing reminds her of those days.

[shini--chan]

Woah a hetalia blog in 2020 and a Yan one at that??? The world has BLESSED US! Could I please request Germany (and Russia If that's okay. Seprate not together) stalking and kidnapping their love interest?

Yandere Hetalia - Germany, Russia (Cat in the bag)

Germany

Ludwig would be so befuddled by his own feelings at first, that it would take some time for him to get back on track. In the meantime, he'd do everything he can to drown out the emotions that are causing him so much agony. It could be through work, household chores, dozens of personal projects (if you want to prevent a terrible future for yourself, it would be in your best interest to help him run away from his feelings.) Though, in the end, that won't be enough, and he'll eventually find himself scrolling through all your social media profiles. 

The more he ignored it, the stronger the urge became. It left him jittery, unable to focus. Ludwig already was reading the same paragraph for the third time, since the meaning behind the words never stuck. He wasn't even by the last sentence when the words began to blur due to overpowering thoughts of you. You, who he didn't want to think about due to the urges and desires the mere notion of you invoked. 

Slamming the laptop closed, damned be the deadline, he then snatched up his phone. Instagram was opened in a second and within a few clicks, he had your profile. He found himself hypnotised by the photos of you on display. There was one of the older ones that was a favourite of his, one where the light of a setting sun caught your features just right. 

Ludwig opened it, and leaned onto the table until he was half lying on it, the phone upright in front of his face. Far too close as well and he would have chided any other person doing it. Almost reverently, he traced the outlines of your face, exactly like he did with icons of the Virgin Mary in another life, when he had still been Holy Rome. 

He wouldn't be sure on how to approach you, so he would take the stereotypical dating ideas like going to the cinema together, or to an amusement park. Would be formal to the point it would be painful, but would loosen up as the evening progresses. 

It would only make him more obsessed with you and he would start following you around, and interrogating people about you. Not stalking, this is researching, is what he would tell himself. With you being so precious to him, he just needs to make sure that he caters to your needs and doesn't hurt you by accident. That would be all. His own curiosity and obsession with you would play absolutely no role in this, absolutely not sir. 

Most of the stalking would take place via social media, with him creating various sock-puppet accounts. Ludwig would go to great lengths to make sure you don't connect all of them to him - like showing different writing styles and personalities, and sometimes even feigning not knowing certain languages. The purpose of these accounts would be to watch you, and also engage with you on different topics and from differing standpoints in some cases. The anonymity the internet grants would be a boon here. 

Aside from that, he would also track you a lot. Germany would use this to "coincidently" run into when you are out and about and then invite himself to whatever you are doing. You'll find him joining the same clubs that you are a member of, if he isn't in them already. Often, he would come across as overbearing. 

The kidnapping would spout from the selfish desire to have you all to himself. He would be aghast by his own thought processes, and suppress it. Suppress it until it would come bubbling back to the surface stronger than before. He would find a whole host of justifications for his criminal actions - that he is allowed to be selfish, that the individualistic culture of Western society promotes his actions. 

Still, he would be filled with guilt and so apologetic for breaking in and knocking you unconscious. Law enforcement would have a very hard time finding you and Ludwig wouldn't really be inclined to release you. 

Russia

In Ivan's case, it would start very tame. The stalking would begin during the process of getting to know you and stem from suspicions of you not being forthcoming. During the first meetings you'd have, he'd inquire about your dislikes and likes, what you like to do in your free time, your opinions on certain matters. If you let him, he'll take you on long walks and converse with you about literature and philosophy until the sun sets and rises again. Though, there would alway be the nagging doubt about the truthfulness of your statements, something that would only be amplified should you show fear in any form. 

Thus, he would stalk you to find out how honest you are with him. Part of this wouldn't even be really following you around or watching you undress. In part, it would consist of going through your collection of books, investigating your taste in art and music, reading any journals you keep and checking what clubs you attend. To get an even better grasp on your personality, he would also look into who you are befriended with, as well as your relations with family members, and do background checks on all of them. 

The apartment you lived in could tolerate a good cleaning, in Ivan's humble opinion. It wasn't like you lived in a pig sty, leaving dirty clothes and rotten food lying around. Rather, it was the sort of "dirty" of a person that didn't have the time to wipe down the surfaces. 

Ivan couldn't help but grimace as he eyed the book shelf. There was a layer of dust on the free spaces and even on top of a few books, thus preventing him from actually taking out the one or the other and skim reading through a few pages. Leaving traces wouldn't do - if you couldn't relax in your own living space, then you'd start hiding behaviours. He'd just have to learn more about the books at home and through the internet. 

Home. It was a cosy little home that you had established for yourself here, but it was nothing compared to what he would give you once your relationship was more "official". First, he had to ascertain how honest you were being with him. So far, so good, you had been truthful with him - but it was possible to speak nothing but the truth and still be dishonest and devious. 

Turning on his heel, he headed to your small bedroom. A book was on your nightstand, just waiting for him to pick it up and flip through. Which is what he did.

Finally, he would also watch you. Some people talk or mutter to themselves when they are alone, and he would like to hear what you say when you think that nobody is watching. Also, humans do such fascinating things when they are sure that they are alone - what will you do? What bad habits will he have to exorcise out of you? Do you eat healthy, or does he have to help you along? Any addictions that he can use against you?

Should he determine that you aren't honest with him, then he'll be furious. Ivan would then make it his mission to teach you the value of honesty, do matter how damaging his lessons may be. Best if you learn quickly, or he'll make you as paranoid and distrusting as himself. 

As for kidnapping - it would only happen if you are in danger. The thing is, Ivan would regard you as fragile. Additionally, he would be very aware that his view on danger is very skewed, so he'd seek to compensate for it. In reality, he would be overcompensating. This would all be for your own safety and nothing you say would be able to convince him otherwise. 

He would even be gentle during the whole process, preferably luring you away. Maybe you go on holiday with him and never return to your home. Maybe you stay a night at his place and wake up to find you can't leave. Should you be resistant and avoid him, he'll of course have to resort to other means - sleeping pills in your food or drink, or snatching you off the street in the middle of the night. 

You were so peaceful when you were asleep. Knock out drops being the cause of your slumber didn't change that - you even had a small smile as he lifted you up in your chair. As luck would have it, you had tipped forward when the substance had kicked in, and face-planted in your take away. 

Your face was full of sauce and there were even bits of food in your hair, but Ivan was still of the opinion that you looked downright angelic. Of course, it was love and passion speaking on his side that tended to give people a different outlook. 

Carefully, he gathered you in his arms and lifted you up. There was a small bunch of people gathered outside of your apartment, curious as to what all the commotion was about. As was ever the case when an ambulance arrived to pick somebody up. In total, it was the perfect alibi, because who would suspect a paramedic of being involved in a kidnapping?

[the-suns-temple]

Hi! Lemme label myself as the 🐢 anon because i will be sending more asks in the future!!..

I hope it's okay to ask, but how did you know that your divine spouse was "reaching out to you" that way? In a romantic sense?

Because i feel like there was a deity (i won't name them as IDK if they want to be named..) that i worked with, and in my 6 years of practice... I have never experienced what happened those few days and nights of working with them.

I always felt like they cared about me A LOT. And i was flattered for that. I appreciated their help a lot in our workings. But one day, I don't know how to explain it, but i felt them brush their hand on my face, on my cheek. I could tell something was off, as it felt.. different than a simple itchiness on the face. I felt their presence.. Then a day later or so, i was in my bed and i could feel their presence, hugging me from behind.

I know how crazy and fanatic i sound right now. I apologize if this is inappropriate to ask! And unrelated to your account topic. But this has been going on in my head for weeks and i would really appreciate ANY insight. As i have never been courted or even considered being courted by an entity.

Thank you for hearing me out! And i am sorry if i seem like a weirdo rn!

-🐢anon

Hello! Apologies for taking so long to get back to you, but thank you for asking your question.

Firstly, I would suggest an air of caution and skepticism when it comes to feeling energies. Theoi energy is a very specific kind of energy and cannot be easily replicated by trickster spirits or mischievous entities, but it is still worth practicing caution. If you want to confirm that it was this deity (if you have not already), ask them a few vetting questions before you ask if it was them who was touching you and hugging you. Of course, you know their energy better than I do, but it never hurts to be a little bit careful.

Secondly, I knew Lord Apollo was reaching out in a romantic sense because, simply put, he is very blunt. I meditated with him, and while I do not remember now what he said, he did say something rather blunt about how he wanted to progress our relationship from mentor and student to something more. And I left the meditation feeling giddy and excited. So, I did a tarot reading asking him to confirm what he meant after doing more research on Godspousing and what it entailed.

Research, in situations like this, is your best friend. Doing research on things like Godspousals, and also looking into how this deity treated their partners in the past, perhaps in mythology, or if they do have a life partner you could look into how they treat them, to get a better understanding of how this deity may express love. Lord Apollo is very gentle with me. He adores accompanying me outside, under the sun, playing a sport, or simply relaxing. He is very touchy at times. He loves to give compliments and send me signs showing he is watching. Just this weekend, a bee landed on my hand when I was getting into my friend's car to go watch the sunset on the beach.

Let the deity bring the idea to you. Or, if you feel they have been doing this via signs, ask them if this is what they are trying to suggest to you. And if it is, give it some thought. Do not run into an answer. Think on it. Let the confirmation process and decide from there.

Best of luck on your journey, and I am sending you nothing but positive energy.

Best wishes, and Blessed Be, from Rafael.

Khaire.

[ghostlyerlkonig]

I am NOT going to rb the post again I don't want to but I've gotten a handful of responses that are this;

or something else along the lines of good people, good art, just people, just art—otherwise known as focusing on art that is safe in someway made by artists you view as also safe is good is special deserves to be protected because it is good and just art.

Everything I'm about to say will not cover everything. Censorship is a massive fucking topic.

But I need you to look me in the eyes, please, and hear what I'm saying next very clearly;

This is a sweet and kind sentiment and I understand how one comes to the conclusion via the situation I described and the feelings I had after the fact, but this is a very... green way of looking at art.

there are plenty of artists whom I hate but I would not see their art taken down. There are plenty of books in my local library that i think are horrific books but I think a library is a neutral space and books need to be accessible. Even removal of what *you*, and I'm sure you are a very good person, deem deplorable, can tumble, tumble, tumble, into the censorship you are decrying.

There is a reason I added on to the post later that encouraging research and curiosity is more important than offering just one "safe" view of the world. Often they are not safe. Not for the people who need it to be most. If we simply bury things, sooner or later the flood will come again and reveal them.

It hurt me to see one of my aunts reading Irreversible Damage. But I decided to have a fucking conversation with her about it instead of crying over it or berating her. And she threw out the book after our conversation. I've read the book. I've read hitlers book for a class. I've read declarations that held all sorts of bigotry up. I've read the Bible 13 times. And despite my coming up mormon, all this did was make me more able to speak to others. A lot more of them are willing to listen than people regard. It may not be the instant change you want but seldom does that happen.

And there are MANY people who cut the line between good art and bad art by nazi approved and nazi burned. even people who would shit themselves if you called them a nazi over it.

Unless you are untouched by ANYTHING, your judgements will always be flawed by your lived experiences. Ideal worlds are ideal worlds. Your ideals are probably great. Someone else's won't be by your standards. My ideals will not meld with yours. It is learning to grow and coexist that causes that to become less of an issue. You don't need to like all the things I like. I don't need to like all the things you like. That's fine. You can even say you don't like it. But that doesn't make it something to destroy. Frankly it isn't even about likes and dislikes. It's just things that exist.

Even things that are deplorable should be archived. Avaliable. That is part of education. Betterment of society. Achieving something with less violence toward those who are disliked.

But even that is a discussion about much more than art. Frankly I think a lot of you think art morphs the mind to the views of the artists upon one viewing. Humans aren't that stupid or weak. Seeing Gone with the Wind didn't make me change my views after deconstructing from racism the religion. Religion is not just something that makes people think a way, it's total control of thought that effects how one thinks in a deep way. Some ship whump dubcon noncon art or fic is not going to make someone a fucking predator. Things in fiction that tend to be cited as "SEE SEE FICTION CAUSED THIS TO BE POPULAR" were things put in fiction that were already popular beliefs in reality. Bugs bunny didn't start the idea that rabbits like carrots anymore than Beatrix Potter did or the fact that rabbits really do love carrots because of how sugary they are. Sharks are already scary because the sea itself is scary.

Adults lie all the time to up their beliefs. It is usually malicious. Learning to question things is a skill developed by nurtured and supported curiosity. You didn't learn argumentative essays to torture you, debate and research are skills and OLD skills at that. Can you stomach reading a rebuttal? Even if you think it's bullshit, can you see how they got to it? You should be able too, if you want to talk about it well.

What calling fictions the root of all evil does do is allow for people to take the easy way out and blame their actions on a scapegoat that is already hated or established in someway. Like the twinkie. The simple twinkie cause the death of Harvey Milk if you believe the courts ruling a sugar rush. Porn made Bundy kill people. Satan spoke through a dog. Two girls with untreated schizophrenia experiencing psychosis stabbed another. If it wasn't slenderman it would have been god or Satan or literally anyone else deemed of power in their heads.

My initial post was about how calling for censorship of things that disgust you will only lead to the censorship of things that are held up as disgusting by the censors. My painting of a lake was deemed sexual via my artist statement saying the word "queer".

You're liberal but you think porn is disgusting and want to censor it, great what is considered porn? Oh right the trans person standing over there is considered pornographic. Oh and if you do that sex workers will be hurt more. They'll die more. But you probably also think that they deserve it for being whores, huh. Sorry that language is probably too harsh for you, good liberal, you think they deserve it for acting like that and not getting a job or a husband or whatever other shitass excuse you're about to have. Right?

You think sex scenes offer nothing to the story, what is considered sexual? Right right the two gay people holding hands and kissing. For the older demographic, mix race couples.

You think violence in shows is disgusting, but what does that result in? Right safe media that gives you no challenge and offers you little in the way of art.

Because being challenged is violence.

[ckret2]

How is ford handling all of this

(Referring to my human Bill design—maybe I oughta come up with a tag for this AU.)

I already promised to answer the second half of @dykefnctl's question:

also, like, wtf does stan and ford think? i'm invested.

—and I separately covered the Stan half of it—so now here's Ford!

I mentioned in my post about Stan's reaction that he only doesn't kill Bill on sight because somebody points out that might just unleash his full triangular form again. No point for guessing that Ford's probably the one who brought up the possibility. Ford goes into full consider-all-the-risks paranoid scientist mode and he's also probably the one who immediately decides the best way for the Pines to contain the threat of Bill Cipher is to do it THEMSELVES, in their own home, rather than risk putting Bill in the hands of somebody who wouldn't be careful enough or appreciate the exact nature of his threat.

Ford's so inclined to handle threats alone—keep everything he knows to himself, dole out intel to his own family on a need-to-know basis, play his cards close to his chest, let NOBODY get involved. Trust no one. That works fine for Bill, who thinks that he's got better odds of escape in the Pines family's hands than he would with either local police or any federal agency.

So. Ford wants to keep Bill contained, and agrees with Stan that containment should only last until they can figure out a surefire way to destroy Bill for good. There's paranoia. There's fear. There's anger.

But there's also a lot of sorrow.

I'm a fan of the idea that, before Ford figured out Bill's scheme, he really did consider him one of his deepest, closest, best friends, and one of his few trusted confidantes. When he looks at Bill now, he doesn't just see someone who lied to him and exploited him; he sees a dear friend. A dear friend that manipulated him, abandoned him, and tried to kill everyone he cares about. He sees all of it at once.

It was a lot easier to ignore that history when Bill was either busy destroying the world, or invading Ford's dreams to taunt him about destroying the world. It's harder now that Bill is just there, all the time, knocking around the shack and being an incompetent human. Prattling on about unhinged alien things and ancient history like he does. Making passing comments about Ford's current research that imply he knows more about the topic than Ford does. Bringing up thirty-year-old inside jokes.

Not being threatening. Just being the person that Ford had thought was his friend. Oh, it hurts deeply, hearing this omnicidal maniac who tortured him and his family talking the way his friend used to.

It isn't hard for Bill to pick up on this conflicting view Ford holds of him. He tries to exploit it—lightly imply he might have a few regrets about that little apocalyptic whoopsy last summer, act a little more friendly when they're alone, suggest he could help with whatever Ford's working on now—no "deals," no quid-pro-quo, just a friendly casual consultation role, answer any big questions Ford has that Bill happens to know the answer to. If Bill gets his foot in the door, he can find a way to leverage Ford's soft spot to find a way to escape later.

Ford doesn't buy it. Ironically, even though he sees Bill as a (former, backstabbing) friend, it's when Bill's acting friendly that it's easiest for Ford to hate him. He's not as naive as he was in the eighties, and he knows too much about how Bill's manipulation works, with false kindness and flattery and tantalizing helpful offers. Ford shoots down all Bill's overtures of "friendship" consistently and without hesitation. They reek of future betrayal.

It's when Bill isn't trying—it's when he's using a glass of prune juice to unsuccessfully illustrate to the three-dimensional kids how gravity flows in six-dimensional space, or when he's casually referencing world events that won't happen for another few decades, or using a parallel universe to cheat at cards so he can pick what the family's watching for movie night (it's Flatland), or bringing up the author of the Voynich Manuscript as if he knew Enrico personally, or making a pun that only works if you know two dead languages but is hilarious if you do—those are the times Ford most misses the friend he used to have.

Bill knows he's making progress when Ford lies that he's got no idea how Bill could have cheated at cards (but maybe they ought to just watch Flatland like he wants so he'll finally stop asking about it). Bill just doesn't know how he's making progress. For now, he just hopes it's enough to inspire Ford to procrastinate on finding a way to kill Bill for real. (It is.)

[i-cast-teatus-deletus]

One of my original purposes in making this blog, if you can believe it, was to discuss scar care options that are actually backed by any level of clinical research. It turns out that someone on reddit has already done this, and I doubt that I could sum them studies up any better than he did. In fact, about 50% of his studies were ones I'd earmarked for my own post.

There's a lot of myths and misinformation about scar care, because, well, there's a lot of money to be made in selling scar treatments. None of the stuff they sell as scar care will hurt you, necessarily, but it's almost certainly not worth spending the money.

(Much like the other reddit thread, I archived it here, though the pictures will most likely not survive if something happens to reddit. This wasn't an issue with my previous reddit thread archive but there are a handful of pictures in this one, though I believe the only ones not pulled directly from the studies are of OP's own scars.)

the extremely short version of his article is that:

scar prevention is substantially better than treating a scar that has already established. The most effective scar preventatives are:

Sun care (UV protection)

Infection prevention/care

Relieving skin tension (having cuts go "with the grain" of collagen fibers/not crossing Langer's lines, so this step is more about surgical technique, or the type of surgery you are having, than anything you do to it as the patient)

Moist wound healing

scar treatment after the fact is limited to silicone sheeting, steroid injections, and topical tretinoin.

I feel obligated to mention that:

1) I glanced at the studies cited, and these results track with my understanding of scar care strategies, but didn't do any in-depth analysis of these cited studies' methods/sample sizes/etc. and likely won't

2) there's definitely studies on scar care that both I and OP didn't have access to or come across

3) new studies come out all the time that might prove the usefulness of a method or treatment that isn't listed here, or call one of these methods into question

[mcclainwilla]

Writing Fight Scenes, Part 3 - Being Hit

Today's topic kinda made me giggle. We're gonna talk about Being Hit.

If your character is hit in a squishy spot, they're going to react very differently than if they were hit in a non-squishy spot. Also, if your character has no fight experience, they will react very differently than if they've been sparring since they could walk.

It has occurred to me that not everyone has had the pleasure of being punched! So don't go do irl research; I have already done it for you!

Edit: Holy shit I forgot to mention that I did martial arts for about five years, so don't worry about me! Everything is fine!

Getting hit in the face

On either side of your face, curving from your temple down your jaw, is a C-shaped zone. 'C' stands for 'consciousness'. This is the knockout zone. There are two main knockouts (I named them myself):

Teleporting - you only lose consciousness for a moment. From an outside perspective, a character that teleports will get hit, fall, wake up upon hitting the ground, and probably deny that they passed out to begin with. From the first person perspective, the character will be standing, and then they'll be sitting with no memory of how they got there

Actually passing tf out - your character will take longer to wake up and when they do, they will be disoriented and have a hell of a headache. Both kinds of passing out are an indicator of brain trauma, but if your character is out for a hot sec, they almost def have a moderate concussion

Observe both of these in action by watching UFC fighting. Not kidding. It is very informative

Getting hit in the c-spot (I'm sorry. No I'm not) isn't the only way to have your day ruined tho

Getting punched in the eye is the Worst Thing Ever I don't care how much experience your character has, if they get punched in the eye they will have to take a moment. It doesn't always hurt too badly, your brain just goes 'hey what the Fuck was that'

Getting hit in the nose does hurt. I know you've heard that it can kill you (nose bone -> brain) but that is sooo rare, so. Don't worry about it <3

If your character gets hit in the mouth, they might lose teeth. They will almost definitely cut their lips/cheeks on said teeth

Getting punched in the ear hurts a surprising amount. Getting punched behind the ear is 1000x worse. There's a soft spot right behind your earlobes/jaw (that's where your eustachian tubes are. If you even care)

Your brain stem (back of the skull, right above your neck) is a second, more deadly knockout zone. If your character is just friendly sparring, do not let them hit to the back of the head

Conversely, it's pretty okay to get hit in the forehead. It'll maybe make your character's eyes water, give them a headache, but it won't end a fight. There's lots of bone (armor) there

Getting hit in the body

I'm just going to go down the line

Throat - bad. Chances are, it'll do some damage, but even if it doesn't, it's kinda like getting punched in the eye, where it just feels Wrong. (Also there's two main regions, the neck part (larynx) and the collarbones part (trachea). Both suck)

Ribs - it's not great, but it's better to get hit in the ribs than in the things those ribs protect. There are twelve ribs on each side, but only ten of these wrap from the spine to the sternum. The bottom two, called the floating ribs, do not attach to the sternum; they're easier to break and hurt way more when hit

Diaphragm (squishy bit right in the middle of your chest, where your ribcage ends) - hurts so badly. Your character will probs get their breath knocked out (their muscles spasm, preventing them from drawing a breath. They can only make wheezing sounds. Very undignified)

Liver/kidney - the liver is in the front right side of the body, underneath the lower part of the ribcage. The kidneys are in the back of the body, underneath the lowest part of the ribcage. Your character doesn't want to get hit in either one - they'll make a loud 'hnnnk' sound and it will be embarrassing

Stomach - like the ribs, it's not great, but there are worse places

Groin - take this with a grain of salt, I don't own a ballsack. Reportedly, getting hit in the loverman hurts immediately, but getting hit right where you sit will knock your character to the ground - then, after about three seconds, it starts hurting

Newbies Vs. Pros

There's not a ton for me to say on this one

For a newbie, getting hit in a squishy spot is (understandably) the Worst Thing Ever. It's not unreasonable for your character to end up crying, less from pain and more from surprise/fear

For pros, getting hit in a squishy spot still hurts, they're just able to tune it out more. And, characters with more experience may entirely filter out the pain from hits to places like the shoulders/hips/other not-so-sensitive areas. They may only realize they were hit a day later, when the bruise pops up!

I'll probably cover things like nerve bundles in another post, this one is already too long as is. Whoops. I hope y'all are able to make use of all the times I was hit during my adolescence

[xue-kasura]

GHOST~Me

Fandom: Boku no hero academia

Characters: Different Ocs and anime related characters mentioned

Relationship: maybe female Oc x Dabi

Rating: Mature

Overall tags: slice of life, survival, anti-heros, vigilantes, deep thoughts, possible trigger warnings in certain chapters (no explicit written scenes but various abusive triggers will be mentioned)

Fanfic summary:

Gina Hoshikuzu and Kemuri Kakusu (Ocs), a once-a-normal-human and a quirk human, two orphans on the run, trying to survive on their own in this cruel world. The perfect duo talks about their tragic past and how they deal with it, giving you insight into their lives. No detail is left out, no matter how much they want to suppress it.

*Trigger topics will be slightly addressed. Please read at your own risk, I don't want to hurt anyone here. Trigger warnings will be provided for specific chapters at the beginning of the text.

Chapter 1

.......

.....wake..... up......

.......

Wake.Up....

.......

WAKE UP!!

≫⊱────────────⊰≫○≪⊱──────────────⊰≪

.....

*door bell ring sound *

"Hello? It's the pizza delivery! Someone home? No? Ok, then it's all mine."

"....shut up....."

The door opened and someone entered the apartment. The sound of distant footsteps approaches the person who was woken up with an uneasy expression.

"I was joking....you look like you had a bad dream again....sorry"

"....I'm sorry.....I didn't intend to be rude....its just -..."

"Did you take your medicine already?.."

"....no.."

He sighed, returned to the kitchen while undressing his jacket and shoes, fetched two glasses of water and the mentioned medicine and returned to the weakly female. She had her weakly states now and then but she was a powerful woman he looked up to a lot. A silent thanking emerged from her as she took the glass of water with the medicine and gulped it in one go, not really feeling better after this. Until she ate a slice of her favorite pizza. Food was something that made her easily happy. There were a lot of tough times but food always made her happy after a tiring day. The young man, he was 1 year younger than her, sat beside the woman, eating his slice of pizza with satisfaction, glad to see the female happy. There aren't a lot of happy times in the previous months so every little time of her happiness makes him happy too. An odd couple silently eating there slices of pizza in a happy state. Nothing more was needed.

"....how was work today?"

"Oh actually pretty good today. Had a lot of really cool customers, also I got tipped a lot and I got a promotion. Now I get paid more money."

"Congratulations. Even tho I don't understand why you work there beca-...."

"Because you shouldn't be the only one doing hard work. And I love to see you happy eating my selfmade food. The money doesn't matter for me and you know that. And you shouldn't do that much work, relax already. Your body will thank you for that."

"....sorry....I just.....nevermind"

"....You always feel regret because of the orphanage....you aren't the only one, you know? But risking your own life for that? I need you here alive and nothing else matters. And I dare you not to say sorry again."

It was silent for a short time until a quiet giggle erupts from the woman's mouth. He felt at ease again, she was happy and so is he. Even tho she feels sorry for worrying him too much, she felt at ease herself. She's save with him, she should stop being scared for life. Scared of nothingness....

"And how was your day?"

"...Ok I guess. Except the bad dream but everything's fine....I think. I repaired the projectors on my safety clothes, everything's working again. I fixed your clothes and mask, researched about the latest villain and hero activities, transfered the money to the orphanage, -..."

"How much did you sleep??"

"Ahm....I think 6 hours...I swear I did sleep more today."

"Did you pass out again?"

".....yeah...."

He sighed again, but didn't scold her. It won't work on her anyway. He just petted her head and ate his last pizza slice in silence. She again on the other hand felt sorry again for him and stayed silent while eating her also last pizza slice. After dinner the young man puts everything away, got dressed for the night, sat again beside the woman, tucked her and himself in soft blankets so they both can make themselves comfortable while watching TV. Then again silence.

The daily late night News told about a bank robbery, confused villains were captured but with no money, the money but still lost. The woman slightly smirking in satisfaction, already awaiting the curious questions of her roommate.

"Don't worry. I split the money in three parts, two bigger ones, the third smaller part already staying with us. One big amount already transfered to the orphanage, the second big amount transfered to the police department itself. The money transaction won't be traceable. Also our money part wasn't from the bank robbery. They had a lot of fake money with them, I brought it to a friend to trade it for real money. "

"You sure have some unique friends....next time you take me with you."

"You have to work at pizza delivery."

"Yeah I know.....but it's unsafe for you. I trust you but you never really tell me about your friends. Although I know you won't speak to any shabby people with dark intentions."

"Don't worry. He supports us. He isn't a bad guy. Actually someone with a good job system. He also works together with the orphanage. But he won't expose us. He delivers my letters to the orphanage mother. But thats just one of his many jobs. And his also a worthy informant about villain and hero activities. And our landlord is his first son. His second son is the owner of your pizza job."

"Wait what? Hold on a minute. How long do you know this? Why didn't you tell me earlier??"

"....Let me think. This is our third Apartment, my forth apartment sooo.....since our first time sharing an apartment? Since 2 and a half years, I guess. And I didn't tell you because you were busy with reorganizing our lifes and you're happy with your pizza job and I was scared you would quit everything and I won't get any good pizza from you....sorry..."

He was shocked of this load of information. But it made sense to him. So much sense that she amazes him even more with her powerful appearance. She did all this and even more only for him. No wonder she's always that tired every day. He silently smiled to her. That's everything she needed. A smile from him is enough for her. It's their way of showing gratitude to each other. She cared as much for him as he cared about her. A small spark of sadness still overcomes him. But he quickly shakes his head. He doesn't want her to worry about something small.

At the end of the news program pictures of two missing people were shown, missing posters with clearly outdated profiles of a boy and a girl, the girl missing for 5 years, the boy for 4 years. No sightings or new informations in the las years, like they disappeared into thin air. Gone forever. At least that's what the public should believe.

Both of them sighed quietly, switching through the TV channels.

"Also I put new packages with new cigarette flavors in your closet. Just be careful with the red package. Only 1 cigarette a day to test the effect. The effect should nullify a quirk. Just please don't consume more than 1 a day or it will backfire. Then I would envy you."

"Oh like quirk eraser cigarettes. Don't worry I will test them carefully. Would they even work on you?"

"I don't know. Probably not. Some quirks won't work on me. Unless I'm in a stable condition. And that's rare if I think about that."

"We will get you there one day, not all hope's lost. But eraser cigarettes are rare to get. I should use them only at necessary times."

.....

"Gina??"

.....*zzz*

"....Sleep well, Gina...."

The television was no longer necessary, so the light in the room went out and darkness filled the room. The young man heard a quiet murmur that made him smile. Tiredness also forced him to sleep and so silence returned to the room.

"....thank you.....Kemuri"

[circular-bircular]

I like this topic a normal amount.

First and foremost, to address the biggest part: yes, yes, it makes my job harder. I feel like I sort of have to acknowledge the fact that, yes, having a disability makes things hard. The amnesia, the issues, god the issues I have… it makes teaching exceptionally difficult for me.

However. I wanna talk about specific struggles (how my disorder impacts teaching specifically) as well as… how it’s a positive.

Struggles:

Amnesia means I forget things. I forget the assignments that are graded; I forget the meetings I must attend; I forget what rules I’ve made and said. The kids often comment on how I’m inconsistent, and that’s because of this issue. I will forget I set a rule and they’ll yell at me for being a hypocrite.

Trauma is weird and triggers are weird, and by god, the kids trigger me. Name trigger? Check. Food triggers? Check. Song triggers? Check. And even things that aren’t triggers but still difficult to talk about — Harry Potter is a big one for my age group — wear down on my emotional regulation skills and everything. Thank god I have a partner who picks up a lot of my slack in that regard.

Constant overthinking plays a role in the above as well, and it’s a fucking burden especially in teaching. Decision Fatigue is real and difficult. I heard an estimate at one time that said that teachers make upwards of 8000 decisions a day, and tbh I think they lowballed that. You’re constantly trying to plan out people’s reactions, what’s best for the students, how to best teach, etc etc… which just plays right along with the constant overthinking I already to (if I take this action, they’ll do this, which will lead to this… which hopefully means I won’t get yelled at later).

Different parts of mine hate teaching. This one is smaller but it does get very hard to get everyone on board, and… worst still, we all have different teaching styles. So, if Wade plans an independent day for the students to work while he plans, but Sie happens to be out the day of the lesson, then we won’t be planning; she’s going to be talking to the students and distracting them too much to work, and will likely help them too much on the assignment because she’s a slut got group work.

That's just a few things, honestly. Way more come to my mind each time I think about this topic. Like... Dissociating while driving to work! That's often. It's all just... a lot.

HOWEVER!!!

Advantages:

I know everything that is happening all of the time, except for when I don't. That sounds kind of stupid, but... Since I've had to adapt so much to my lack of memory, I always know when shit is happening. If you ever need a reminder for when a meeting is happening, I have it written down somewhere. Need to know about an email that was sent a week ago? I'll find it in 10 seconds, regardless of the fact that I forgot that email existed.

I am highly adaptable. Look, you learn to be flexible when you forget that time exists 24/7. Oh shit, fire alarm -- well, that's alright, I already forget my lesson plans for tomorrow, so I won't be too hurt about having to reorganize those plans.

Ignoring the autism, I appear to be very open to change, which pleases my superiors at work. What's that, we've got a new Thing(tm) we have to implement in the classroom? Cool! I'm super upset about it, buuuut, Debra doesn't give a shit, so she'll come out and do that. But to all of my coworkers, I'm just a really flexible person who is fine adapting to new curriculums, methods, and frameworks!

By proxy of the amount of research I've done into DID/OSDD, I am... incredibly trauma informed. This year at school, we did a lot of trauma-informed education for teachers, and... I'm a bit ashamed to say I was practically teaching the classes myself. I kept asking pointed questions that would help the educators realize the gaps in the lessons they had on ACEs and how to teach traumatized students (the biggest one being conflicting needs, they really do not understand how to handle them -- they get that they exist but not what to do about them). I feel like this has made me such a better teacher, because I can look at kids whose backstories I know and understand. I get it. I can accommodate so much more readily.

I really think that's one of the most important things, and one of the biggest differences I've encountered via therapy and learning more about my system.

Back at the start of teaching, I knew I was a system, but I wasn't in therapy and I was still stuck with my abusers. At first, I was just going through the motions and doing the things I had to. Was I passionate? Absolutely! But I hadn't really... gotten past the dissociative barriers I had in place for just regular day-to-day life. I can barely tell you what I did those years, because it just... slips away.

But then, I started my current area (6th grade ELA) at a new school, away from my abusers, starting therapy, and... Oh jesus lord FUCK it was a mess. I was a traumatized, emotionally disregulated dumpster fire. I managed it, of course, and I can mask WELL. But I was finally, finally coming to terms with everything...

And that was the year I discovered how mentally ill my students are. How many are just like me -- so similar to me, in fact, that a student revealed to me they suspected they had DID. And at the time, I didn't know how to handle that. I didn't know how to handle the students coming to me with clear mental health issues, beyond playing therapist. That's kinda my go-to.

Now, after three years of therapy, lots of trauma compartmentalizing and emotional regulation strategies, cutting my family off fully, and starting EMDR... I think I'm at a point where I can help students go through life without devoting my life to theirs. That's one of the biggest struggles I think passionate teachers (who are there for the kids, not the lessons) have to deal with; we cannot and should not be these kids therapists. That is not our job, and we are not trained to do it. Of every teacher I know of that I've discussed this problem with, each and every one has told me they have a therapist specifically for this problem. (Note: that's about 5 of my coworkers from the 6th grade department that I'm talking about).

I think I'm getting healthier for me, which in turn is letting me be healthier for the kids. And that's always a great thing.

BYIUJOKP I hope that ramble was fine lol

Hey yall, open-ended question: in your opinion and in your experiences, how has having a CDD affected your specific area of work (or if you don't work, your hobbies, school, or any other aspect of your day to day life)? And, if applicable, have there been any differences throughout your healing and recovery journey? (pre-system discovery, post-stabilization, during trauma work, post-integrations, post-fusions, etc.?)

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw diet, fatphobia

Hey, I am currently looking for a therapist and one topic I want to discuss with them is, how to stop dieting. As a fat kid with fatphobic parents I grew up on a non-stop diet (though it never worked) and became an anorexic teenager (which didn't work neither). At that time I was also in therapy (for something else) and told my therapist that I want to work on my "anorexic mindset" (as I was already eating normal again, but with a lot of feelings of guilt) and she told me "You are not underweight so it doesn't matter". That really hurt me. It was very important for me, that my therapist would believe me everything, even if "it doesn't look like it".

Till this day I have... a complex relationship with food. Occasionally, for a period, I forget all my issue with eating and eat normal and am really happy. Then I remember my unhealthy mindset again, and starve, hate myself etc. This has been going on for years and I tried to stop it but I believe that I won't bet it without therapy. And I don't want my life to go on like that. I'd rather have a body, my teenage self would have hated than to be one of those 40y.o. who refuse to eat a piece of their daughters birthday cake, to not gain weight. I think by now I am at a point, where I need to live with what's given and stop fighting against myself all the time. I am not a teenager anymore.

But, back to my original problem: How do I talk about this to a therapist? You may say "Just tell and if they react negatively, ditch them" but we have so little therapists in my country, that I should only ditch them if absolutely necessary.

Thank you

Hi anon,

I'm sorry to hear about what you've gone through and are dealing with. You did not deserve to be told those extremely hurtful things and you did not deserve to suffer. I am proud of you for wanting to make a change to the unhealthy mindset you described.

I would definitely research what the therapists in your area specialize in and what their certifications are. Because there aren't many therapists in your country it's possible that there may be few if any that specialize in eating disorders specifically, but that might be something to look for. You may also want to look for therapists who specialize in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) as this is one of the more effective modes of therapy for those with eating disorders. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) is another option. CBT and DBT are quite common so it's likely that you will find therapists in your area who are certified in those therapies.

I'm not sure what country you're in exactly but as someone who is based in the US, I recommend using Psychology Today to search for a therapist (this is how I found my first therapist who was very helpful). This may not be available for your country.

If anyone else has any suggestions please feel free to add on. I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[strawberry-cowmilk]

can we have the brothers + diavolo reacting to deaf!mc? like when diavolo greets them for the first time here in devildom but mc cant hear him

Hey, anon! I don't know how long it has been, but finally I got time to write your request. I'm sorry you had to wait, I hope you enjoy!

the brothers and diavolo with a deaf mc

-> brothers and diavolo x mc

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

important: while I have done research on this topic, I'm still not confident my portrayal is 100% accurate. If you notice anything 'wrong' with this post, let me know.

content warnings: feelings of being alone, mild violence mention

-----

Lucifer

lucifer would know already if it was stated in your files

he also knows how to communicate through sign language, if that's your preferred way of communication, he's willing to use his ability whenever he can

if you ever feel isolated from others due to your condition, lucifer will take you to his room and pour you a nice cup of tea to calm you down

Mammon

mammon isn't very educated on the topic and doesn't know sign language, but he tries to communicate with you in certain unique ways

for example, he has come up with certain expressions that mean something

also, mammon will talk to you by writing on paper, sadly his handwriting is either readable or messier than the average doctor handwriting

Leviathan

he thought you were ignoring him when you first met, he was speaking to you but you kept looking in another direction

when you explained you couldn't hear him, he felt ashamed and started going on one of his self-deprecation speaches, little did he know you could read lips

levi will try to learn sign language for you, but he keeps messing signs up in the beginning, still sweet of him to try

Satan

he knows how to do sign language, and he is lowkey glad he can use his skill now

honestly, you being deaf doesn't change much for him, you can still do all the same things as a hearing individual

he can still take you to cat cafès, or read books together

if some demon at rad dares to poke fun at you, they will face the wrath of satan

Asmodeus

asmo doesn't know sign language, you two can still communicate through writing or you reading his lips, but he found that full on conversations were a little hard like that

so, he decided to learn it, like levi, he messed up a lot at first

eventually, asmo got tired of making a bunch of mistakes, he went home early frpm rad to study sign language until he got it down well enough

lucifer wasn't happy, but it was worth it

Beelzebub

beel isn't very educated either

when you actually grow closer, he will get this desire to protect you since he's scared you might get hurt, so he'll kind of stick by your side a lot

it's sweet, but you can look after yourself perfectly fine, he apologises when you explain this to him

beel will also learn sign language for you

Belphegor

belphie is way too lazy to learn sign language at first, he figured he could just communicate through writing either way

but, when carrying a notepad became a pain, and he got more attached to you, he felt like he had to know how to use sign language

unlike his other brothers, belphie won't mess up a lot in the beginning, he's a fast learner

Diavolo

diavolo was confused on why you didn't seem to react to him at first, he forgot thd reason was in your files for a second

he doesn't know sign language himself, and writing everything out would take long, so he got lucifer the translator to help him out with welcoming you

during your stay, he will learn how to properly communicate with you, though

he likes you, and wants to know you well after all

[whaleofatjme1920]

Request cause why not lmao: maybe some 049 x reader fluff :0?

SCP 049 Fluff

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: I just did headcanons bc I wasn't sure,,, which one you wanted more? And also the hcs are the easiest for me to do rn-]

Going to pretend you're a researcher. You're the only one allowed to get remotely close to 049 without the risk of getting hurt.

Through his love for you, researchers were able to find out that 049 can actively choose if he wants to "save" people. He thinks you're his deepest love and free of the pestilence. So, for now, he won't hurt you (even if he doesn't mean to).

Your schedule has changed to make room for him. You spend a lot of time talking to him, about cleared topics of course, but he loves to heat you speak about your life outside the Foundation.

Tells you lots of stories about his time wandering Europe and some of his tales with 035.

Teaches you French if you don't know it already! If you know any other languages, please indulge him in conversation with those. It's not often he gets to speak things that aren't English.

He'll often fall asleep with you in his bed because he doesn't want you leaving. Wraps his arms around you and warms you with his blankets and himself. He's kind of a space heater!

His touches are always gentle and soft with you. I hc that he has gloved claws that are deadly sharp, so he has to be really careful when he touches you.

Doesn't matter what type of hair you have, he will always find something fun to do with it. Really long? Intricate braids from France. Natural hair? He's surprisingly knowledgeable in that as well and gives gorgeous styles. Really short hair to your scalp or if you've shaved it off? Weaves you flower crowns but who knows where he actually got those. If he had his hands on hair dye---.

Look he's experienced and likes hair what else can I say.

It's really hard for him to give you any gifts on account of him being an SCP but he's an artist through and through. Draws you a lot of stuff with this beautiful fountain pen.

He's weirdly perceptive of whatever you're going through and will always know what to say and how to handle the situation you're going through.

Lots of bird noises from him lmfao to show how happy he is with you.

He has a habit of singing to and with you.

Gets really happy when you bring him novels from the library and read to him.

He makes you tea. He doesn't actually drink any but makes himself a cup as well. He just likes spending time with you.

Asks for you when you're away. He doesn't like to admit he's clingy, but he's absolutely clingy.

[active-mind-15]

Thanks for the tag! Here's my bingo card for you. I got bingo in like 4 different directions, LMFAO.

And just like you, I'll elaborate on all the boxes I crossed off. Since you said I'm new to you, I'll try and give you as much info as I can on my personal writing experience. I think I'll go row by row for this, starting from the left side.

-When I first started writing, I was on Fanfiction.net. I still have that account and recently updated a fic on there (Accidental Siblings), but I still gotta get back to/clean up some of my other old fics on there.

-Yep, still got an AO3. I cross-posted some of my FFN fics there, but now more than half of the works there are AO3-exclusive.

-I distinctly remember beta-reading for a friend back in the day, but it was so long ago I don't even remember what the fic was called. First and only time I beta-read, though.

-All of my fics are un-beta'd. We die like men.

-The very first fic I ever wrote was basically a self-insert even though I tried to play it off like it wasn't. It was a Pokémon fic that I wrote when I was like 15. But eventually, as time went on, I thought it was too cringey and deleted it off not only FFN but my hard drive, too. I couldn't even show the fic to you if I wanted to. It's gone for good 😭. There was also another fic of mine that I wrote soon after deleting my first one, which is a KNB episodic style one-shot collection that is nothing but self-indulgent. I still need to clean that one up, though, so I won't share it just yet.

-Keyboard smashing is what I do. More so on Twitter, but if I see something that really just causes me to go crazy then imma show it. If it's a fic that I really like, I'll also write a big ass essay in the comments about all the things I like about it.

-Oh yeah, there have been multiple occasions where I wanted to leave kudos, but I apparently already had. Some works are just that good.

-Not only is Fluff most of what I read, but it's most of what I write as well. Fluff is a BIG part of my works because I don't do well seeing people suffer. Especially since a lot of my early works were Akashi-centric. I was tired of seeing this boy be miserable, so I was like, "Why can't we just have a story where he's not miserable for once?" and so I wrote it. I enjoy the warm feelings I get inside when someone gets the love and affection they deserve, whether that's platonic, romantic, or otherwise. This is also why I'm a sucker for Hurt/Comfort fics, too.

-The M/M I wrote was more of an unfinished premise, but I just wanted to try writing romance for once since I never do. But idk if I'll ever expand on what I wrote because I have no thoughts about where I would take that plot, and I'm also busy with other stories.

-I do believe fanfiction is a legitimate genre and is an integral pillar of literature. It deserves its flowers.

-As stated in my bingo card, I write mainly for KNB and BTS. My BTS stuff is more popular, though, for reasons I'm sure are obvious to you.

-The amount of research that goes into some fics of mine is actually kind of insane. Some of it involves Google searches that I hope the FBI isn't looking at, and the other part is watching things related to the topic at hand. Like for Accidental Siblings, my research on the behaviors of children for that fic led me to watch a British ongoing docuseries called 'The Secret Life of 4, 5, and 6-year-olds' just to see the kinds of things kids that age did and talked about. It's a genuinely good program, too. I'd recommend it.

-I ALWAYS keep an outline for writing. I actually have notebooks for all the fics I write. It's usually one fic to one notebook, unless it's one-shots. Then I do multiple one-shots to one notebook. Whenever I have chapter outlines to write or miscellaneous world-building I want to make note of, I just write it down. And then, when the time comes to write a chapter, I look back at my notes. Usually, my outlines are just chronological bullet points of events I want to happen in the chapter. Sometimes, I may write down specific dialogue I want to use or specific details I want to make mention of. And then when I get to writing the chapters, it's simply going by the outline and then filling in the blanks with my imagination.

-I don't "anxiously" wait for feedback these days, but back then, I was FEENING for attention. Comments on my work would make me so happy. They still do! But since I update very sporadically, I understand that I may not get feedback as often as I used to. And that's fine! When it comes to fics, I'm fairly intrinsically motivated. So even if I get no feedback, I won't stop putting my work out there.

-Back when I was updating for Accidental Siblings more frequently, @clubakashi, whose fanart inspired me to make the pic, ended up drawing Akashi and baby Bokushi and then posting it! There were also people submitting to them too talking about their own headcanons for the fic, which was cool to see.

-I have several unpublished stories and even more unfinished ones. I think I have 6 fics that are still ongoing. The rest are one-shots. But I have a few unfinished new fic ideas in my USB that have yet to be released to the public.

-I'm a perfectionist by nature, so editing and formatting is always a grueling experience because I care too much about little details that nobody will even notice/care about.

-I always get ideas in the middle of the night. Especially because I sometimes like to role-play scenarios in my head to see if they'd work in my fics. I may even go as far as physically acting something out or saying a line of dialogue to see if it would fit.

-My ongoing fics are the ones that receive the most attention, but my one-shots are what I hope would get more attention because I still worked hard to write them. Both for BTS and KNB.

But yeah, I think I elaborated on all of my points. I hope you were able to get to know me better through this bingo sheet! Thanks again for the tag! 💜

I felt implicitly tagged by @lilypheria. Here's the template too.

It may seem like I only write KnB these days but I don't consider myself to be done with my SPOP comics yet.

Tagging all my writer friends but I'm going to mention @active-mind-15 because you're kind of new to me. But I really want to hear about all my writer mutuals and followers. By the way if you've written one unfinished fic or tried to start to write your ideas but can't, or haven't written for years, or have any other struggle that makes you feel invalid, you count as a writer.

Going to elaborate under the cut because I felt like it.

My old account was FinFanFun, a Finnish site I used mostly for reading Facebook wall fics about that which should not be named.

AO3 is where I publish my KnB fics though I've considered branching out to see if there's still some fandom corners I haven't reached.

I'm slowly introducing myself to writing smut but the only story I've published has been called mild and soft smut or smut-ish, and I doubt the rest will be much different.

I frequently beta-read for friends, though fanfiction is the minority.

I used to have two beta-readers but they're unable to do it anymore so all my fics rely solely on me for now, which makes me really anxious sometimes. I am pretty desperate for a new beta-reader so if KagaKuro and a million words of "homework" doesn't frighten you, please jump into an adventure with me!

All my fics are self-indulgent in that they're what I want to see play out in the story. They are not personal fantasies, or necessarily what I want to see in real life, but it's what I envision for these characters.

I'm always reading old favourite fics again and I need to branch out actually.

If I'm in need of a short fic to read I will probably pick fluff.

Have written m/m and f/f (and m/? and m/f) but honestly it's weird to put them in the same category when m/m is so overrepresented.

I'm not actually sure if I consider fanfiction as a genre or rather a medium, because all genres exist inside fanfiction. Medium is probably more true but I seem to have checked it anyway because I feel like the point here is whether fanfiction is valid literature and that it is.

I don't know if two fandoms with one being dormant would be considered multifandom so maybe no.

I do anxiously wait for feedback since I'm very community oriented but I'm also very introverted and internally motivated so the lack of it doesn't discourage me. I have patience and I can wait for connection for years and years. Not that lack of connection doesn't affect me, of course it does, but giving up is just a very antithetical concept to my beliefs and life.

I have one on-going long KnB story and one unfinished She-Ra fic that is waiting for a better time. Which is an exception since I tend to finish what I start before moving on.

Editing fanfiction is actually not as bad as editing original fiction because I put much less pressure on myself, partially because you can always edit your fic again.

Always listening to hours long conversations in my head between characters when I'm trying to sleep. They're really bad at shutting up and I'm supposed to remember this stuff in the morning?

I was mildly drunk for ten days straight to write Anything Can Happen. Haven't done that since but it was really fun.

My main KnB storyline gets most of my attention. It's just my thing, I pour everything into it.

I didn't check 'wants to be a professional writer' because after three traditionally published books I consider myself to be that already. I actually went the other way around than seems to be the norm: I was an original fiction writer first and then branched out to fanfiction in my twenties. I can see it greatly affects how I write fic, and it's probably the main reason I feel like a bit of an outsider.

[elsecrytt]

Hello. I am 🐱 anon. Here is my request.

Tomorrows my exam the 2nd hardest exam of all. Any I wanna request "Vampire!Mc×Satan"

MC actually has a hobby of drinking blood so one day reader ordered some blood from the donation box and casted a spell on themselves and likely Mammon and levi were arguing loudly so the spell went a tiny tad bit wrong. Unfortunately the bags of blood they ordered somehow were ruined so a call from the donation box came, the staff apologizing. Because of the tiny tad bit wrong spell now Mc's body will constantly hurt if they don't drink blood. Mc endured it for a while.

But Satan noticed it and Mc told Satan. Satan offered his blood. Mc started drinking Satans blood the leaned towards the bed headboard Satan taking this chance to hold mc's waist while mc is on top him and mc just couldn't stop drinking Satan's blood sure it's a bit hot and a bit metalic but it wasn't enough to stop mc from keep going. After almost 30 minutes Mc stopped the spell also wore of and when Mc looked Satan is passed out. Mc later bandages him.

DAMN you've already taken the exam by now but. Hope you did good buddy!!

There's a bunch of details here that feel a bit muddy, but I love the general idea, so let me put a bit of a spin on the setup~

-

Every so often Satan notices you get a bit... withdrawn. You speak a lot less, avoid raising your hand in class, don't make eye contact at all, don't initiate conversations; you're even a bit short and curt in texts, of all things.

At first he wonders if you're simply busy. Or maybe you get moody every now and then. It does seem to happen at random.

The biggest hint he gets is how you hole yourself up after a couple days of brusqueness, how once it happens in the middle of the week and you skip classes at RAD to stay locked in your room.

You won't let anyone in, even him, and Lucifer is uncharacteristically lenient about what should be a serious offense. His other brothers are busy whining every now and then about it, and like hell he's going to ask Lucifer - especially when you won't tell him what's going on yourself.

But he does work out a pattern, over time. Of course he does. It's Satan. Once he starts examining the timeline, things that had been happening around when your little recesses,,, it becomes clear.

And he feels a bit silly for not realizing it sooner. Bloody moon. Of course it would affect a vampire. Really, he's surprised he hadn't come to you asking about it sooner...

But when he approaches you about it, you always seem to find some way out of the conversation. Something to do, somewhere to go, another pressing topic to discuss.

He confronts you about it and you confess - that you don't want to talk about it. it's an uncomfortable subject. The look on your face thoroughly sells it for him...

...but Satan's never been one to leave well enough alone. It's far too obvious to him that you're suffering every time this comes along.

What's wrong? What can he do for you? Can he bring you anything? Are you hurt? Sick? He researches spells, potions, anything he can, all in the face of your stubborn refusal.

It must have something to do with blood... do you need some to drink? But you were always so well-provided-for, Diavolo would never let his precious exchange student starve.

So he researches. He investigates. As is his natural response. He looks up articles, novels even, any kind of media written or produced by actual people like you.

“It’s never the same as drinking from the source. And of course, it doesn’t need to be - any healthy blood, properly stored, CAN sustain a vampire, there’s no question about that.

"I’m not advocating for live blood draining, but the all-bagged philosophy is missing out on a crucial point of our culture and identity, and I think it’s unfair to silence…”

There’s a lot that he’d initially dismissed as the typical rankings of older generations upset by newer, more progressive mentalities taking place.

It sounded exaggerated, no one could NEED blood that much - even Beel wasn’t so picky about his source and eating method - but the more Satan learns, the more convinced he becomes.

You’re holing yourself up because the craving has struck. Bagged blood is no longer sufficient. You want it fresh, hot, and straight from the source.

As soon as the realization strikes him - perhaps as he'd come to it - his feet take him to your room in quick, hurried strides.

That closed door that had remained shut for days. You'd only texted him - or any of the other brothers - in curt, short messages.

Lucifer had instructed them not to trouble you during this time, and harsh shouts greeting any other visitors had dissuaded them; you had enough blood in there for yourself anyways, Lucifer had confirmed.

So Satan doesn't knock. He has a spell that undoes the lock silently, and twists it open as quietly as he can, darting in, closing and locking it behind him as he closes in on you.

You...

You don't look so good. At the same time, you look absolutely delectable.

Sitting with your knees to your chest, hunched over like some kind of beast, shivering, twitching.

There's bloodstains on your sheets - some of them dry, some of them fresher looking. Half-empty and some fully drained bags litter your floor.

You don't look cold. You don't even look weak.

Your fingers dig into your arms, wrapped around your legs, making little divots in your own flesh as your chest rises and falls in short pants.

The glare is expected. The way your pupils dilate, yawning wide black swallowing up your irises in the low light and then narrowing feverishly onto him like he's some sort of prey -

Hnnn. It makes him shiver.

He kneels at your bedside and says your name, only to receive a hiss.

"Do you want my blood?" Both of you know it. "You can have it. I'm right here, I came here to do this for you."

"Shut - " It hurts him to hear - your voice raw and cracked and hoarse, had you been drinking properly? " - UP, Satan. Get out."

He'll have none of that. For your sake, of course - and certainly not his, not because his blood is already flowing downwards, pooling in his gut at the predatory look in his eyes -

"No," Satan tells you, only for you to snarl at him and kick at him.

But he's a demon. He can take it.

After several moments of him getting close enough to feel the warmth of your body, you stay there, face tucked against your knees, ignoring him completely.

But you want it. He knows you have to want it... he just has to break your self-control.

The claws come out. He claws a careful line against his wrist, deep enough to draw just a trickle of blood.

You stiffen immediately. He can see your eyes, open wide and dilating, instantly seeking out the source of the scent.

"Go away," You rasp, drawing back on your mattress.

He reaches out to pet your hair, with the wrist he'd cut, and you scramble back, uncurling - exactly as he'd liked, you're panting now, breathing in the irresistible smell, catching the red that drips down in his forearm.

"Do you want it to go to waste?" His low voice asks you, and it takes everything you have not to dive forward.

You swallow hard - the dryness in your mouth only reminds you how parched you are, how hungry.

How nothing could sate your hunger like this could -

No. No, no. You don't need this. You don't.

Satan's curious. Maybe he even wants to help you. He doesn't know what feeding does to the victim, or to the vampire, when it's done live. You can't do this to him.

And clenches his hand, like the clever little prick he is, causing more blood to trickle out.

You're - you're so hungry. Achingly.

It's empty, like a hole in your stomach, a yearning that hollows you out, your throat is so dry, and the aroma that floods your senses as he waves his meal in your face -

Without your permission, your hands dart out, clutching at his fingers and drawing his blooding wrist towards you.

But he... what if he... if he thinks -

The taste of his blood hits your tongue. It's warm, flowing savory over your tongue like juices running from a fine, tender steak.

It's so good. It's so fucking good.

You'd been starving, ravenous, and it floods your senses, filling your mouth as you wrap your lips around his cut.

Satan can learn his lesson like a big boy. He's a grown up demon. He'll be alright.

He offered... you drink, lap at it more and more, swallowing tiny drops that burst with flavor and make your mouth water even as you draw more from him.

You deserve this. You deserve him. You deserve to have as much of him as you want, taste all that you want.

Satan catches your eyes, looking up at his as your mouth closes over his wrist. Pupils blown wide in want, gaze full of fevered desire as he feels you tense as you stare him down.

There's a heat that blooms on his cheeks. His gaze locked in yours, transfixed, as the throb in his arm grows heavier, until he can feel it in his chest, and lower, lower...

Your lips pursing against his skin as you suck at him, burning hot, that lurid look you give him when you pull away with a pop, that pretty mouth just barely parted; he's never seen anything so beautiful.

How soft those lips had been, how nicely they'd pressed against him, how good they'd feel around his -

Soon, his lips are parted and panting, too.

You drink him in one further moment; his gorgeous features, flushed cheeks, golden hair and pretty, pale skin bobbing over his throat.

And then you strike.

Diving in for his throat, latching on as you launch yourself onto him, uncaring of where or what position you end up in.

Satan catches you, arms wrapping around your waist, shifting you into a straddling position as he turns you both around so he can rest his back against your bedframe and remain upright while you drink.

The pinch of teeth against his neck flares in pain, but the squirm of your tongue distracts him, the sound of your breath heavy, close to his ear, dominating his awareness.

You don't hold anything back. You're so hungry. He tastes so good.

His skin is warm, supple, yielding beneath you, blood pouring so easily right into the empty hole of your stomach.

It tastes good it's so good you drink and drink and it'll never be enough.

This is yours. It's all yours. This soft skin, salty, the pulse that dances with your lips like a kiss, the vibrations through his throat as he moans.

He wants you. He's yours. Satan is all yours yours yours you can have all of him -

"Ah - ahhhh... hnng, were you... that hungry...?"

You purr against him with another heavy swallow. It's leaking out your mouth, sticky, and you want to lap up every drop of it but you're just so hungry, so empty, and it's all you can do to press into his wound to send blood surging through faster.

Savory and delectable, sweetened by the heat of lust, by the aching throb you can feel between his legs against your knee; not a drop, not a drop can go to waste, it belongs to you.

The thought prompts you to bite down even harder, and he moans again. His neck aches in the best way, in the hot, fevered euphoria of being devoured with a passion.

You feel more blood rush into your mouth, and the delicious tremble of his moans, and you eat it all up, like you deserve.

It's like ambrosia on your lips. You'll never give this up.

Satan lays there, compliant, obedient, subject to a strange bliss he'd never known. Light and airy, radiating through his whole body with a delicate tickle, as if his veins were bubbling champagne.

There's no pain at his neck, only the warmth of you against him, nursing like a kitten.

Suckling gently at his neck in time with the pulse of his cock, throbbing distantly between his legs. The lust that soars through him is strong, but sedated, as the pleasure overcomes him in gentle waves.

There's no feeling like it. Has he even cum yet? It feels like a climax in slow motion, the delicious release warming him as you take your fill of him.

He swears he feels you whisper mine against his neck, your fingers curling ownership into his chest, legs locking on either side of him.

This was how hungry you were? How much you needed this?

A pinch against his neck, a hard suck, as you greedily draw another mouthful from him, and another rush of ecstasy radiates through his flesh.

This was how much you need him?

Golden lashes flutter against pink cheeks as he closes his eyes, letting his head rest against your soft hair.

He lets his arms rest around you, weakly; maybe if he does, you'll realize he wants you close, too? That he's yours, that he'd give anything he had to give, if only he knew you wanted it?

A gentle sigh of pure relief, of comfort and bliss, brushes against the bare skin of his neck, and Satan smiles.

You probably know already anyways.

[cc-writesfor2dcharacters]

a/n: of course, love! idk how i did on this one, but i hope you like it!

tw: for those who are sensitive about this kind of topic, please do not read it :((

𝓚𝓮𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓮 𝓑𝓪𝓳𝓲

To be honest, he really doesn't know what to do. You've isolated yourself for a while and he doesn't know why. Everything is crumbling apart for you and it gets harder every second. Because yesterday you were full of energy and talked a lot with Baji, where he only just had to sit down and listen to the love of his life talk about random stuff. Now, he's confused about why you were ignoring his texts. He thought he did or said something wrong. He didn't hesitate any more and went to your house. Your mother approached him, telling him that you haven't eaten since last night. So, he excused himself for a while and got you something to eat. Something you both enjoy. Yakisoba. When he came back, he gently knocked at your door. You yelled, asking who was in the door and he softly told it was him. As he entered your room, you were facing the wall and you were sitting on the floor while hugging your knees. He noticed that your room was a mess. Your laptop was open and you had an unfinished project. He tried to sit beside you but you flinch away from him when he was about to extend his hand to you. Your mom has given him your medicine, in hopes that you will accept if he was the one to give it to you. "We'll go to the beach after you feel better, okay? So, drink this up, love. I'm here for you." As you looked at him, he noticed how puffy your eyes were. He can't bear to see you like this. But, finally, you did take your medicine and let him cuddle you up until you fell asleep (because you haven't slept for the whole night after your mind was filled with plenty of ideas and scenarios in your head that kept you up all night). He did keep his promise after you calmed down. And, he will encourage you to get professional help. He knows how scary this is for you, so he'll always be there to make you feel extra better.

𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓳𝓲𝓻𝓸 𝓢𝓪𝓷𝓸

Mikey is not the type of person who's good with words. But, he's been through something almost the same, so he respects how you feel. It's a dark feeling, but even if he wanted to give you space, he's worried about you. He's aware of how many emotions will rush through your mind and how they will eventually affect your heart. When he notices how your body is rushing with energy, he will try to match your energy because he knows this is the 1st stage of your episode. He'll make you feel that you're not alone. And, when you're about to go home? He'll humbly inform your mother that your episode is starting and he wants to look after you as well. Which your mother accepted since you're too hard to handle alone when you're having these episodes. Mikey will just sit there and watch as you dance along to the new song on the radio. He smiled at the sight of you, but at the same time, it wouldn't last long... After a few minutes, just when he helped your mom cook you food, you were punching the wall. He immediately stopped you but you just got mad at him and told him to stay away. He doesn't care if you ever hit him, as long as you won't hurt yourself in the process. You eventually ate your food, which was pork tonkatsu that usually tastes so good, but now it tasted so bland. After you ate and drank your medicine, Mikey tucked you in your bed. But, you just can't sleep, not when you're hearing voices in your head. He will comfort you and tell you it's okay. He'll play comforting music and he will talk nonstop so that you will hear HIS voice and not the ones in your head. Mikey will stay and be patient with you. He knows what to do and what not to do. He won't let you go through your episodes alone, because he knows how tough it is to feel that way.

𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲 𝓜𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓾𝔂𝓪

When you informed him about your episodes, this boy researched what it is about and what he could do to help you. He'll be ready in case your episode starts. He's already fully aware when it starts. As you burst out with high energy, he'll take you on a ride but will watch you closely. He'll let you release all that energy up, but not to an extent where you're too exhausted because, from his research, he found out that you won't be able to get to sleep at night. On the way home, he'll make you sit in front because you were getting too energetic and he's afraid you might fall off of the motorcycle. He'll let you talk about the creative ideas you've just thought, and he'll memorize it in case you forgot about it after your episode. And, just like what he expected, you were irritable when you got home. But, he'll watch you closely in case you hurt yourself. Everything agitates you, while you tried doing 5 things at once since your attention span was so short at that time. You weren't talking to him at this point anymore. A few minutes later, you started crying and told him your heart feels heavy. And, if he's got to stay at the hospital to attend to your needs? He will. He immediately takes you to the emergency room and have you get the proper treatment you need. While the nurses help you out, he'll ask the doctor for brief advice so he could handle it better the next time you have an episode. They gave you more medications to take, which Mitsuya was happy about since it'll ease up what you feel. From then on, he'll track your mood, emotion, reactions, and everything you do every hour of the day. He'll remind you to take care of yourself. And, when he's not around to help you? He'll just knit you a fluffy blanket and you'll instantly feel better when you hug it. Mitsuya has always been a very attentive man, and he won't leave you alone in the dark no matter what. He'll help you get back up and will understand your needs better than anyone.