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shini--chan · 9 months ago

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Woah a hetalia blog in 2020 and a Yan one at that??? The world has BLESSED US! Could I please request Germany (and Russia If that's okay. Seprate not together) stalking and kidnapping their love interest?

Yandere Hetalia - Germany, Russia (Cat in the bag)

Germany

Ludwig would be so befuddled by his own feelings at first, that it would take some time for him to get back on track. In the meantime, he'd do everything he can to drown out the emotions that are causing him so much agony. It could be through work, household chores, dozens of personal projects (if you want to prevent a terrible future for yourself, it would be in your best interest to help him run away from his feelings.) Though, in the end, that won't be enough, and he'll eventually find himself scrolling through all your social media profiles.

The more he ignored it, the stronger the urge became. It left him jittery, unable to focus. Ludwig already was reading the same paragraph for the third time, since the meaning behind the words never stuck. He wasn't even by the last sentence when the words began to blur due to overpowering thoughts of you. You, who he didn't want to think about due to the urges and desires the mere notion of you invoked.

Slamming the laptop closed, damned be the deadline, he then snatched up his phone. Instagram was opened in a second and within a few clicks, he had your profile. He found himself hypnotised by the photos of you on display. There was one of the older ones that was a favourite of his, one where the light of a setting sun caught your features just right.

Ludwig opened it, and leaned onto the table until he was half lying on it, the phone upright in front of his face. Far too close as well and he would have chided any other person doing it. Almost reverently, he traced the outlines of your face, exactly like he did with icons of the Virgin Mary in another life, when he had still been Holy Rome.

He wouldn't be sure on how to approach you, so he would take the stereotypical dating ideas like going to the cinema together, or to an amusement park. Would be formal to the point it would be painful, but would loosen up as the evening progresses.

It would only make him more obsessed with you and he would start following you around, and interrogating people about you. Not stalking, this is researching, is what he would tell himself. With you being so precious to him, he just needs to make sure that he caters to your needs and doesn't hurt you by accident. That would be all. His own curiosity and obsession with you would play absolutely no role in this, absolutely not sir.

Most of the stalking would take place via social media, with him creating various sock-puppet accounts. Ludwig would go to great lengths to make sure you don't connect all of them to him - like showing different writing styles and personalities, and sometimes even feigning not knowing certain languages. The purpose of these accounts would be to watch you, and also engage with you on different topics and from differing standpoints in some cases. The anonymity the internet grants would be a boon here.

Aside from that, he would also track you a lot. Germany would use this to "coincidently" run into when you are out and about and then invite himself to whatever you are doing. You'll find him joining the same clubs that you are a member of, if he isn't in them already. Often, he would come across as overbearing.

The kidnapping would spout from the selfish desire to have you all to himself. He would be aghast by his own thought processes, and suppress it. Suppress it until it would come bubbling back to the surface stronger than before. He would find a whole host of justifications for his criminal actions - that he is allowed to be selfish, that the individualistic culture of Western society promotes his actions.

Still, he would be filled with guilt and so apologetic for breaking in and knocking you unconscious. Law enforcement would have a very hard time finding you and Ludwig wouldn't really be inclined to release you.

Russia

In Ivan's case, it would start very tame. The stalking would begin during the process of getting to know you and stem from suspicions of you not being forthcoming. During the first meetings you'd have, he'd inquire about your dislikes and likes, what you like to do in your free time, your opinions on certain matters. If you let him, he'll take you on long walks and converse with you about literature and philosophy until the sun sets and rises again. Though, there would alway be the nagging doubt about the truthfulness of your statements, something that would only be amplified should you show fear in any form.

Thus, he would stalk you to find out how honest you are with him. Part of this wouldn't even be really following you around or watching you undress. In part, it would consist of going through your collection of books, investigating your taste in art and music, reading any journals you keep and checking what clubs you attend. To get an even better grasp on your personality, he would also look into who you are befriended with, as well as your relations with family members, and do background checks on all of them.

The apartment you lived in could tolerate a good cleaning, in Ivan's humble opinion. It wasn't like you lived in a pig sty, leaving dirty clothes and rotten food lying around. Rather, it was the sort of "dirty" of a person that didn't have the time to wipe down the surfaces.

Ivan couldn't help but grimace as he eyed the book shelf. There was a layer of dust on the free spaces and even on top of a few books, thus preventing him from actually taking out the one or the other and skim reading through a few pages. Leaving traces wouldn't do - if you couldn't relax in your own living space, then you'd start hiding behaviours. He'd just have to learn more about the books at home and through the internet.

Home. It was a cosy little home that you had established for yourself here, but it was nothing compared to what he would give you once your relationship was more "official". First, he had to ascertain how honest you were being with him. So far, so good, you had been truthful with him - but it was possible to speak nothing but the truth and still be dishonest and devious.

Turning on his heel, he headed to your small bedroom. A book was on your nightstand, just waiting for him to pick it up and flip through. Which is what he did.

Finally, he would also watch you. Some people talk or mutter to themselves when they are alone, and he would like to hear what you say when you think that nobody is watching. Also, humans do such fascinating things when they are sure that they are alone - what will you do? What bad habits will he have to exorcise out of you? Do you eat healthy, or does he have to help you along? Any addictions that he can use against you?

Should he determine that you aren't honest with him, then he'll be furious. Ivan would then make it his mission to teach you the value of honesty, do matter how damaging his lessons may be. Best if you learn quickly, or he'll make you as paranoid and distrusting as himself.

As for kidnapping - it would only happen if you are in danger. The thing is, Ivan would regard you as fragile. Additionally, he would be very aware that his view on danger is very skewed, so he'd seek to compensate for it. In reality, he would be overcompensating. This would all be for your own safety and nothing you say would be able to convince him otherwise.

He would even be gentle during the whole process, preferably luring you away. Maybe you go on holiday with him and never return to your home. Maybe you stay a night at his place and wake up to find you can't leave. Should you be resistant and avoid him, he'll of course have to resort to other means - sleeping pills in your food or drink, or snatching you off the street in the middle of the night.

You were so peaceful when you were asleep. Knock out drops being the cause of your slumber didn't change that - you even had a small smile as he lifted you up in your chair. As luck would have it, you had tipped forward when the substance had kicked in, and face-planted in your take away.

Your face was full of sauce and there were even bits of food in your hair, but Ivan was still of the opinion that you looked downright angelic. Of course, it was love and passion speaking on his side that tended to give people a different outlook.

Carefully, he gathered you in his arms and lifted you up. There was a small bunch of people gathered outside of your apartment, curious as to what all the commotion was about. As was ever the case when an ambulance arrived to pick somebody up. In total, it was the perfect alibi, because who would suspect a paramedic of being involved in a kidnapping?

#yandere hetalia #yandere russia #yandere germany #yandere #x reader

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the-suns-temple · 4 months ago

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Hi! Lemme label myself as the 🐢 anon because i will be sending more asks in the future!!..

I hope it's okay to ask, but how did you know that your divine spouse was "reaching out to you" that way? In a romantic sense?

Because i feel like there was a deity (i won't name them as IDK if they want to be named..) that i worked with, and in my 6 years of practice... I have never experienced what happened those few days and nights of working with them.

I always felt like they cared about me A LOT. And i was flattered for that. I appreciated their help a lot in our workings. But one day, I don't know how to explain it, but i felt them brush their hand on my face, on my cheek. I could tell something was off, as it felt.. different than a simple itchiness on the face. I felt their presence.. Then a day later or so, i was in my bed and i could feel their presence, hugging me from behind.

I know how crazy and fanatic i sound right now. I apologize if this is inappropriate to ask! And unrelated to your account topic. But this has been going on in my head for weeks and i would really appreciate ANY insight. As i have never been courted or even considered being courted by an entity.

Thank you for hearing me out! And i am sorry if i seem like a weirdo rn!

-🐢anon

Hello! Apologies for taking so long to get back to you, but thank you for asking your question.

Firstly, I would suggest an air of caution and skepticism when it comes to feeling energies. Theoi energy is a very specific kind of energy and cannot be easily replicated by trickster spirits or mischievous entities, but it is still worth practicing caution. If you want to confirm that it was this deity (if you have not already), ask them a few vetting questions before you ask if it was them who was touching you and hugging you. Of course, you know their energy better than I do, but it never hurts to be a little bit careful.

Secondly, I knew Lord Apollo was reaching out in a romantic sense because, simply put, he is very blunt. I meditated with him, and while I do not remember now what he said, he did say something rather blunt about how he wanted to progress our relationship from mentor and student to something more. And I left the meditation feeling giddy and excited. So, I did a tarot reading asking him to confirm what he meant after doing more research on Godspousing and what it entailed.

Research, in situations like this, is your best friend. Doing research on things like Godspousals, and also looking into how this deity treated their partners in the past, perhaps in mythology, or if they do have a life partner you could look into how they treat them, to get a better understanding of how this deity may express love. Lord Apollo is very gentle with me. He adores accompanying me outside, under the sun, playing a sport, or simply relaxing. He is very touchy at times. He loves to give compliments and send me signs showing he is watching. Just this weekend, a bee landed on my hand when I was getting into my friend's car to go watch the sunset on the beach.

Let the deity bring the idea to you. Or, if you feel they have been doing this via signs, ask them if this is what they are trying to suggest to you. And if it is, give it some thought. Do not run into an answer. Think on it. Let the confirmation process and decide from there.

Best of luck on your journey, and I am sending you nothing but positive energy.

Best wishes, and Blessed Be, from Rafael.

Khaire.

#hellenic polytheism #helpol #the sun temple #paganism #greek gods #apollo #hellenism #hellenic pagan #hellenic polythiest #hellenic deities #godspousal

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ckret2 · 2 years ago

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How is ford handling all of this

(Referring to my human Bill design—maybe I oughta come up with a tag for this AU.)

I already promised to answer the second half of @dykefnctl's question:

also, like, wtf does stan and ford think? i'm invested.

—and I separately covered the Stan half of it—so now here's Ford!

I mentioned in my post about Stan's reaction that he only doesn't kill Bill on sight because somebody points out that might just unleash his full triangular form again. No point for guessing that Ford's probably the one who brought up the possibility. Ford goes into full consider-all-the-risks paranoid scientist mode and he's also probably the one who immediately decides the best way for the Pines to contain the threat of Bill Cipher is to do it THEMSELVES, in their own home, rather than risk putting Bill in the hands of somebody who wouldn't be careful enough or appreciate the exact nature of his threat.

Ford's so inclined to handle threats alone—keep everything he knows to himself, dole out intel to his own family on a need-to-know basis, play his cards close to his chest, let NOBODY get involved. Trust no one. That works fine for Bill, who thinks that he's got better odds of escape in the Pines family's hands than he would with either local police or any federal agency.

So. Ford wants to keep Bill contained, and agrees with Stan that containment should only last until they can figure out a surefire way to destroy Bill for good. There's paranoia. There's fear. There's anger.

But there's also a lot of sorrow.

I'm a fan of the idea that, before Ford figured out Bill's scheme, he really did consider him one of his deepest, closest, best friends, and one of his few trusted confidantes. When he looks at Bill now, he doesn't just see someone who lied to him and exploited him; he sees a dear friend. A dear friend that manipulated him, abandoned him, and tried to kill everyone he cares about. He sees all of it at once.

It was a lot easier to ignore that history when Bill was either busy destroying the world, or invading Ford's dreams to taunt him about destroying the world. It's harder now that Bill is just there, all the time, knocking around the shack and being an incompetent human. Prattling on about unhinged alien things and ancient history like he does. Making passing comments about Ford's current research that imply he knows more about the topic than Ford does. Bringing up thirty-year-old inside jokes.

Not being threatening. Just being the person that Ford had thought was his friend. Oh, it hurts deeply, hearing this omnicidal maniac who tortured him and his family talking the way his friend used to.

It isn't hard for Bill to pick up on this conflicting view Ford holds of him. He tries to exploit it—lightly imply he might have a few regrets about that little apocalyptic whoopsy last summer, act a little more friendly when they're alone, suggest he could help with whatever Ford's working on now—no "deals," no quid-pro-quo, just a friendly casual consultation role, answer any big questions Ford has that Bill happens to know the answer to. If Bill gets his foot in the door, he can find a way to leverage Ford's soft spot to find a way to escape later.

Ford doesn't buy it. Ironically, even though he sees Bill as a (former, backstabbing) friend, it's when Bill's acting friendly that it's easiest for Ford to hate him. He's not as naive as he was in the eighties, and he knows too much about how Bill's manipulation works, with false kindness and flattery and tantalizing helpful offers. Ford shoots down all Bill's overtures of "friendship" consistently and without hesitation. They reek of future betrayal.

It's when Bill isn't trying—it's when he's using a glass of prune juice to unsuccessfully illustrate to the three-dimensional kids how gravity flows in six-dimensional space, or when he's casually referencing world events that won't happen for another few decades, or using a parallel universe to cheat at cards so he can pick what the family's watching for movie night (it's Flatland), or bringing up the author of the Voynich Manuscript as if he knew Enrico personally, or making a pun that only works if you know two dead languages but is hilarious if you do—those are the times Ford most misses the friend he used to have.

Bill knows he's making progress when Ford lies that he's got no idea how Bill could have cheated at cards (but maybe they ought to just watch Flatland like he wants so he'll finally stop asking about it). Bill just doesn't know how he's making progress. For now, he just hopes it's enough to inspire Ford to procrastinate on finding a way to kill Bill for real. (It is.)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #stanford pines #grunkle ford #gravity falls #headcanons #anonymous #dykefnctl #ask #bill goldilocks cipher

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i-cast-teatus-deletus · 1 year ago

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One of my original purposes in making this blog, if you can believe it, was to discuss scar care options that are actually backed by any level of clinical research. It turns out that someone on reddit has already done this, and I doubt that I could sum them studies up any better than he did. In fact, about 50% of his studies were ones I'd earmarked for my own post.

There's a lot of myths and misinformation about scar care, because, well, there's a lot of money to be made in selling scar treatments. None of the stuff they sell as scar care will hurt you, necessarily, but it's almost certainly not worth spending the money.

(Much like the other reddit thread, I archived it here, though the pictures will most likely not survive if something happens to reddit. This wasn't an issue with my previous reddit thread archive but there are a handful of pictures in this one, though I believe the only ones not pulled directly from the studies are of OP's own scars.)

the extremely short version of his article is that:

scar prevention is substantially better than treating a scar that has already established. The most effective scar preventatives are:

Sun care (UV protection)

Infection prevention/care

Relieving skin tension (having cuts go "with the grain" of collagen fibers/not crossing Langer's lines, so this step is more about surgical technique, or the type of surgery you are having, than anything you do to it as the patient)

Moist wound healing

scar treatment after the fact is limited to silicone sheeting, steroid injections, and topical tretinoin.

I feel obligated to mention that:

1) I glanced at the studies cited, and these results track with my understanding of scar care strategies, but didn't do any in-depth analysis of these cited studies' methods/sample sizes/etc. and likely won't

2) there's definitely studies on scar care that both I and OP didn't have access to or come across

3) new studies come out all the time that might prove the usefulness of a method or treatment that isn't listed here, or call one of these methods into question

#ICTD Part 1 Resources #Part 1 recovery resources #Part 1 scar care references #Part 1 reddit thread

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xue-kasura · 7 months ago

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GHOST~Me

Fandom: Boku no hero academia

Characters: Different Ocs and anime related characters mentioned

Relationship: maybe female Oc x Dabi

Rating: Mature

Overall tags: slice of life, survival, anti-heros, vigilantes, deep thoughts, possible trigger warnings in certain chapters (no explicit written scenes but various abusive triggers will be mentioned)

Fanfic summary:

Gina Hoshikuzu and Kemuri Kakusu (Ocs), a once-a-normal-human and a quirk human, two orphans on the run, trying to survive on their own in this cruel world. The perfect duo talks about their tragic past and how they deal with it, giving you insight into their lives. No detail is left out, no matter how much they want to suppress it.

*Trigger topics will be slightly addressed. Please read at your own risk, I don't want to hurt anyone here. Trigger warnings will be provided for specific chapters at the beginning of the text.

Chapter 1

.......

.....wake..... up......

.......

Wake.Up....

.......

WAKE UP!!

≫⊱────────────⊰≫○≪⊱──────────────⊰≪

.....

*door bell ring sound *

"Hello? It's the pizza delivery! Someone home? No? Ok, then it's all mine."

"....shut up....."

The door opened and someone entered the apartment. The sound of distant footsteps approaches the person who was woken up with an uneasy expression.

"I was joking....you look like you had a bad dream again....sorry"

"....I'm sorry.....I didn't intend to be rude....its just -..."

"Did you take your medicine already?.."

"....no.."

He sighed, returned to the kitchen while undressing his jacket and shoes, fetched two glasses of water and the mentioned medicine and returned to the weakly female. She had her weakly states now and then but she was a powerful woman he looked up to a lot. A silent thanking emerged from her as she took the glass of water with the medicine and gulped it in one go, not really feeling better after this. Until she ate a slice of her favorite pizza. Food was something that made her easily happy. There were a lot of tough times but food always made her happy after a tiring day. The young man, he was 1 year younger than her, sat beside the woman, eating his slice of pizza with satisfaction, glad to see the female happy. There aren't a lot of happy times in the previous months so every little time of her happiness makes him happy too. An odd couple silently eating there slices of pizza in a happy state. Nothing more was needed.

"....how was work today?"

"Oh actually pretty good today. Had a lot of really cool customers, also I got tipped a lot and I got a promotion. Now I get paid more money."

"Congratulations. Even tho I don't understand why you work there beca-...."

"Because you shouldn't be the only one doing hard work. And I love to see you happy eating my selfmade food. The money doesn't matter for me and you know that. And you shouldn't do that much work, relax already. Your body will thank you for that."

"....sorry....I just.....nevermind"

"....You always feel regret because of the orphanage....you aren't the only one, you know? But risking your own life for that? I need you here alive and nothing else matters. And I dare you not to say sorry again."

It was silent for a short time until a quiet giggle erupts from the woman's mouth. He felt at ease again, she was happy and so is he. Even tho she feels sorry for worrying him too much, she felt at ease herself. She's save with him, she should stop being scared for life. Scared of nothingness....

"And how was your day?"

"...Ok I guess. Except the bad dream but everything's fine....I think. I repaired the projectors on my safety clothes, everything's working again. I fixed your clothes and mask, researched about the latest villain and hero activities, transfered the money to the orphanage, -..."

"How much did you sleep??"

"Ahm....I think 6 hours...I swear I did sleep more today."

"Did you pass out again?"

".....yeah...."

He sighed again, but didn't scold her. It won't work on her anyway. He just petted her head and ate his last pizza slice in silence. She again on the other hand felt sorry again for him and stayed silent while eating her also last pizza slice. After dinner the young man puts everything away, got dressed for the night, sat again beside the woman, tucked her and himself in soft blankets so they both can make themselves comfortable while watching TV. Then again silence.

The daily late night News told about a bank robbery, confused villains were captured but with no money, the money but still lost. The woman slightly smirking in satisfaction, already awaiting the curious questions of her roommate.

"Don't worry. I split the money in three parts, two bigger ones, the third smaller part already staying with us. One big amount already transfered to the orphanage, the second big amount transfered to the police department itself. The money transaction won't be traceable. Also our money part wasn't from the bank robbery. They had a lot of fake money with them, I brought it to a friend to trade it for real money. "

"You sure have some unique friends....next time you take me with you."

"You have to work at pizza delivery."

"Yeah I know.....but it's unsafe for you. I trust you but you never really tell me about your friends. Although I know you won't speak to any shabby people with dark intentions."

"Don't worry. He supports us. He isn't a bad guy. Actually someone with a good job system. He also works together with the orphanage. But he won't expose us. He delivers my letters to the orphanage mother. But thats just one of his many jobs. And his also a worthy informant about villain and hero activities. And our landlord is his first son. His second son is the owner of your pizza job."

"Wait what? Hold on a minute. How long do you know this? Why didn't you tell me earlier??"

"....Let me think. This is our third Apartment, my forth apartment sooo.....since our first time sharing an apartment? Since 2 and a half years, I guess. And I didn't tell you because you were busy with reorganizing our lifes and you're happy with your pizza job and I was scared you would quit everything and I won't get any good pizza from you....sorry..."

He was shocked of this load of information. But it made sense to him. So much sense that she amazes him even more with her powerful appearance. She did all this and even more only for him. No wonder she's always that tired every day. He silently smiled to her. That's everything she needed. A smile from him is enough for her. It's their way of showing gratitude to each other. She cared as much for him as he cared about her. A small spark of sadness still overcomes him. But he quickly shakes his head. He doesn't want her to worry about something small.

At the end of the news program pictures of two missing people were shown, missing posters with clearly outdated profiles of a boy and a girl, the girl missing for 5 years, the boy for 4 years. No sightings or new informations in the las years, like they disappeared into thin air. Gone forever. At least that's what the public should believe.

Both of them sighed quietly, switching through the TV channels.

"Also I put new packages with new cigarette flavors in your closet. Just be careful with the red package. Only 1 cigarette a day to test the effect. The effect should nullify a quirk. Just please don't consume more than 1 a day or it will backfire. Then I would envy you."

"Oh like quirk eraser cigarettes. Don't worry I will test them carefully. Would they even work on you?"

"I don't know. Probably not. Some quirks won't work on me. Unless I'm in a stable condition. And that's rare if I think about that."

"We will get you there one day, not all hope's lost. But eraser cigarettes are rare to get. I should use them only at necessary times."

.....

"Gina??"

.....*zzz*

"....Sleep well, Gina...."

The television was no longer necessary, so the light in the room went out and darkness filled the room. The young man heard a quiet murmur that made him smile. Tiredness also forced him to sleep and so silence returned to the room.

"....thank you.....Kemuri"

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circular-bircular · 7 months ago

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I like this topic a normal amount.

First and foremost, to address the biggest part: yes, yes, it makes my job harder. I feel like I sort of have to acknowledge the fact that, yes, having a disability makes things hard. The amnesia, the issues, god the issues I have… it makes teaching exceptionally difficult for me.

However. I wanna talk about specific struggles (how my disorder impacts teaching specifically) as well as… how it’s a positive.

Struggles:

Amnesia means I forget things. I forget the assignments that are graded; I forget the meetings I must attend; I forget what rules I’ve made and said. The kids often comment on how I’m inconsistent, and that’s because of this issue. I will forget I set a rule and they’ll yell at me for being a hypocrite.

Trauma is weird and triggers are weird, and by god, the kids trigger me. Name trigger? Check. Food triggers? Check. Song triggers? Check. And even things that aren’t triggers but still difficult to talk about — Harry Potter is a big one for my age group — wear down on my emotional regulation skills and everything. Thank god I have a partner who picks up a lot of my slack in that regard.

Constant overthinking plays a role in the above as well, and it’s a fucking burden especially in teaching. Decision Fatigue is real and difficult. I heard an estimate at one time that said that teachers make upwards of 8000 decisions a day, and tbh I think they lowballed that. You’re constantly trying to plan out people’s reactions, what’s best for the students, how to best teach, etc etc… which just plays right along with the constant overthinking I already to (if I take this action, they’ll do this, which will lead to this… which hopefully means I won’t get yelled at later).

Different parts of mine hate teaching. This one is smaller but it does get very hard to get everyone on board, and… worst still, we all have different teaching styles. So, if Wade plans an independent day for the students to work while he plans, but Sie happens to be out the day of the lesson, then we won’t be planning; she’s going to be talking to the students and distracting them too much to work, and will likely help them too much on the assignment because she’s a slut got group work.

That's just a few things, honestly. Way more come to my mind each time I think about this topic. Like... Dissociating while driving to work! That's often. It's all just... a lot.

HOWEVER!!!

Advantages:

I know everything that is happening all of the time, except for when I don't. That sounds kind of stupid, but... Since I've had to adapt so much to my lack of memory, I always know when shit is happening. If you ever need a reminder for when a meeting is happening, I have it written down somewhere. Need to know about an email that was sent a week ago? I'll find it in 10 seconds, regardless of the fact that I forgot that email existed.

I am highly adaptable. Look, you learn to be flexible when you forget that time exists 24/7. Oh shit, fire alarm -- well, that's alright, I already forget my lesson plans for tomorrow, so I won't be too hurt about having to reorganize those plans.

Ignoring the autism, I appear to be very open to change, which pleases my superiors at work. What's that, we've got a new Thing(tm) we have to implement in the classroom? Cool! I'm super upset about it, buuuut, Debra doesn't give a shit, so she'll come out and do that. But to all of my coworkers, I'm just a really flexible person who is fine adapting to new curriculums, methods, and frameworks!

By proxy of the amount of research I've done into DID/OSDD, I am... incredibly trauma informed. This year at school, we did a lot of trauma-informed education for teachers, and... I'm a bit ashamed to say I was practically teaching the classes myself. I kept asking pointed questions that would help the educators realize the gaps in the lessons they had on ACEs and how to teach traumatized students (the biggest one being conflicting needs, they really do not understand how to handle them -- they get that they exist but not what to do about them). I feel like this has made me such a better teacher, because I can look at kids whose backstories I know and understand. I get it. I can accommodate so much more readily.

I really think that's one of the most important things, and one of the biggest differences I've encountered via therapy and learning more about my system.

Back at the start of teaching, I knew I was a system, but I wasn't in therapy and I was still stuck with my abusers. At first, I was just going through the motions and doing the things I had to. Was I passionate? Absolutely! But I hadn't really... gotten past the dissociative barriers I had in place for just regular day-to-day life. I can barely tell you what I did those years, because it just... slips away.

But then, I started my current area (6th grade ELA) at a new school, away from my abusers, starting therapy, and... Oh jesus lord FUCK it was a mess. I was a traumatized, emotionally disregulated dumpster fire. I managed it, of course, and I can mask WELL. But I was finally, finally coming to terms with everything...

And that was the year I discovered how mentally ill my students are. How many are just like me -- so similar to me, in fact, that a student revealed to me they suspected they had DID. And at the time, I didn't know how to handle that. I didn't know how to handle the students coming to me with clear mental health issues, beyond playing therapist. That's kinda my go-to.

Now, after three years of therapy, lots of trauma compartmentalizing and emotional regulation strategies, cutting my family off fully, and starting EMDR... I think I'm at a point where I can help students go through life without devoting my life to theirs. That's one of the biggest struggles I think passionate teachers (who are there for the kids, not the lessons) have to deal with; we cannot and should not be these kids therapists. That is not our job, and we are not trained to do it. Of every teacher I know of that I've discussed this problem with, each and every one has told me they have a therapist specifically for this problem. (Note: that's about 5 of my coworkers from the 6th grade department that I'm talking about).

I think I'm getting healthier for me, which in turn is letting me be healthier for the kids. And that's always a great thing.

BYIUJOKP I hope that ramble was fine lol

Hey yall, open-ended question: in your opinion and in your experiences, how has having a CDD affected your specific area of work (or if you don't work, your hobbies, school, or any other aspect of your day to day life)? And, if applicable, have there been any differences throughout your healing and recovery journey? (pre-system discovery, post-stabilization, during trauma work, post-integrations, post-fusions, etc.?)

#teacher rant #did

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strawberry-cowmilk · 2 years ago

Note

can we have the brothers + diavolo reacting to deaf!mc? like when diavolo greets them for the first time here in devildom but mc cant hear him

Hey, anon! I don't know how long it has been, but finally I got time to write your request. I'm sorry you had to wait, I hope you enjoy!

the brothers and diavolo with a deaf mc

-> brothers and diavolo x mc

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

important: while I have done research on this topic, I'm still not confident my portrayal is 100% accurate. If you notice anything 'wrong' with this post, let me know.

content warnings: feelings of being alone, mild violence mention

-----

Lucifer

lucifer would know already if it was stated in your files

he also knows how to communicate through sign language, if that's your preferred way of communication, he's willing to use his ability whenever he can

if you ever feel isolated from others due to your condition, lucifer will take you to his room and pour you a nice cup of tea to calm you down

Mammon

mammon isn't very educated on the topic and doesn't know sign language, but he tries to communicate with you in certain unique ways

for example, he has come up with certain expressions that mean something

also, mammon will talk to you by writing on paper, sadly his handwriting is either readable or messier than the average doctor handwriting

Leviathan

he thought you were ignoring him when you first met, he was speaking to you but you kept looking in another direction

when you explained you couldn't hear him, he felt ashamed and started going on one of his self-deprecation speaches, little did he know you could read lips

levi will try to learn sign language for you, but he keeps messing signs up in the beginning, still sweet of him to try

Satan

he knows how to do sign language, and he is lowkey glad he can use his skill now

honestly, you being deaf doesn't change much for him, you can still do all the same things as a hearing individual

he can still take you to cat cafès, or read books together

if some demon at rad dares to poke fun at you, they will face the wrath of satan

Asmodeus

asmo doesn't know sign language, you two can still communicate through writing or you reading his lips, but he found that full on conversations were a little hard like that

so, he decided to learn it, like levi, he messed up a lot at first

eventually, asmo got tired of making a bunch of mistakes, he went home early frpm rad to study sign language until he got it down well enough

lucifer wasn't happy, but it was worth it

Beelzebub

beel isn't very educated either

when you actually grow closer, he will get this desire to protect you since he's scared you might get hurt, so he'll kind of stick by your side a lot

it's sweet, but you can look after yourself perfectly fine, he apologises when you explain this to him

beel will also learn sign language for you

Belphegor

belphie is way too lazy to learn sign language at first, he figured he could just communicate through writing either way

but, when carrying a notepad became a pain, and he got more attached to you, he felt like he had to know how to use sign language

unlike his other brothers, belphie won't mess up a lot in the beginning, he's a fast learner

Diavolo

diavolo was confused on why you didn't seem to react to him at first, he forgot thd reason was in your files for a second

he doesn't know sign language himself, and writing everything out would take long, so he got lucifer the translator to help him out with welcoming you

during your stay, he will learn how to properly communicate with you, though

he likes you, and wants to know you well after all

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years ago

Note

Request cause why not lmao: maybe some 049 x reader fluff :0?

SCP 049 Fluff

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: I just did headcanons bc I wasn't sure,,, which one you wanted more? And also the hcs are the easiest for me to do rn-]

Going to pretend you're a researcher. You're the only one allowed to get remotely close to 049 without the risk of getting hurt.

Through his love for you, researchers were able to find out that 049 can actively choose if he wants to "save" people. He thinks you're his deepest love and free of the pestilence. So, for now, he won't hurt you (even if he doesn't mean to).

Your schedule has changed to make room for him. You spend a lot of time talking to him, about cleared topics of course, but he loves to heat you speak about your life outside the Foundation.

Tells you lots of stories about his time wandering Europe and some of his tales with 035.

Teaches you French if you don't know it already! If you know any other languages, please indulge him in conversation with those. It's not often he gets to speak things that aren't English.

He'll often fall asleep with you in his bed because he doesn't want you leaving. Wraps his arms around you and warms you with his blankets and himself. He's kind of a space heater!

His touches are always gentle and soft with you. I hc that he has gloved claws that are deadly sharp, so he has to be really careful when he touches you.

Doesn't matter what type of hair you have, he will always find something fun to do with it. Really long? Intricate braids from France. Natural hair? He's surprisingly knowledgeable in that as well and gives gorgeous styles. Really short hair to your scalp or if you've shaved it off? Weaves you flower crowns but who knows where he actually got those. If he had his hands on hair dye---.

Look he's experienced and likes hair what else can I say.

It's really hard for him to give you any gifts on account of him being an SCP but he's an artist through and through. Draws you a lot of stuff with this beautiful fountain pen.

He's weirdly perceptive of whatever you're going through and will always know what to say and how to handle the situation you're going through.

Lots of bird noises from him lmfao to show how happy he is with you.

He has a habit of singing to and with you.

Gets really happy when you bring him novels from the library and read to him.

He makes you tea. He doesn't actually drink any but makes himself a cup as well. He just likes spending time with you.

Asks for you when you're away. He doesn't like to admit he's clingy, but he's absolutely clingy.

#scp 049 x reader #scp 049 scenario #scp 049 headcanons #scp x reader #scp headcanon

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elsecrytt · 3 years ago

Note

Hello. I am 🐱 anon. Here is my request.

Tomorrows my exam the 2nd hardest exam of all. Any I wanna request "Vampire!Mc×Satan"

MC actually has a hobby of drinking blood so one day reader ordered some blood from the donation box and casted a spell on themselves and likely Mammon and levi were arguing loudly so the spell went a tiny tad bit wrong. Unfortunately the bags of blood they ordered somehow were ruined so a call from the donation box came, the staff apologizing. Because of the tiny tad bit wrong spell now Mc's body will constantly hurt if they don't drink blood. Mc endured it for a while.

But Satan noticed it and Mc told Satan. Satan offered his blood. Mc started drinking Satans blood the leaned towards the bed headboard Satan taking this chance to hold mc's waist while mc is on top him and mc just couldn't stop drinking Satan's blood sure it's a bit hot and a bit metalic but it wasn't enough to stop mc from keep going. After almost 30 minutes Mc stopped the spell also wore of and when Mc looked Satan is passed out. Mc later bandages him.

DAMN you've already taken the exam by now but. Hope you did good buddy!!

There's a bunch of details here that feel a bit muddy, but I love the general idea, so let me put a bit of a spin on the setup~

Every so often Satan notices you get a bit... withdrawn. You speak a lot less, avoid raising your hand in class, don't make eye contact at all, don't initiate conversations; you're even a bit short and curt in texts, of all things.

At first he wonders if you're simply busy. Or maybe you get moody every now and then. It does seem to happen at random.

The biggest hint he gets is how you hole yourself up after a couple days of brusqueness, how once it happens in the middle of the week and you skip classes at RAD to stay locked in your room.

You won't let anyone in, even him, and Lucifer is uncharacteristically lenient about what should be a serious offense. His other brothers are busy whining every now and then about it, and like hell he's going to ask Lucifer - especially when you won't tell him what's going on yourself.

But he does work out a pattern, over time. Of course he does. It's Satan. Once he starts examining the timeline, things that had been happening around when your little recesses,,, it becomes clear.

And he feels a bit silly for not realizing it sooner. Bloody moon. Of course it would affect a vampire. Really, he's surprised he hadn't come to you asking about it sooner...

But when he approaches you about it, you always seem to find some way out of the conversation. Something to do, somewhere to go, another pressing topic to discuss.

He confronts you about it and you confess - that you don't want to talk about it. it's an uncomfortable subject. The look on your face thoroughly sells it for him...

...but Satan's never been one to leave well enough alone. It's far too obvious to him that you're suffering every time this comes along.

What's wrong? What can he do for you? Can he bring you anything? Are you hurt? Sick? He researches spells, potions, anything he can, all in the face of your stubborn refusal.

It must have something to do with blood... do you need some to drink? But you were always so well-provided-for, Diavolo would never let his precious exchange student starve.

So he researches. He investigates. As is his natural response. He looks up articles, novels even, any kind of media written or produced by actual people like you.

“It’s never the same as drinking from the source. And of course, it doesn’t need to be - any healthy blood, properly stored, CAN sustain a vampire, there’s no question about that.

"I’m not advocating for live blood draining, but the all-bagged philosophy is missing out on a crucial point of our culture and identity, and I think it’s unfair to silence…”

There’s a lot that he’d initially dismissed as the typical rankings of older generations upset by newer, more progressive mentalities taking place.

It sounded exaggerated, no one could NEED blood that much - even Beel wasn’t so picky about his source and eating method - but the more Satan learns, the more convinced he becomes.

You’re holing yourself up because the craving has struck. Bagged blood is no longer sufficient. You want it fresh, hot, and straight from the source.

As soon as the realization strikes him - perhaps as he'd come to it - his feet take him to your room in quick, hurried strides.

That closed door that had remained shut for days. You'd only texted him - or any of the other brothers - in curt, short messages.

Lucifer had instructed them not to trouble you during this time, and harsh shouts greeting any other visitors had dissuaded them; you had enough blood in there for yourself anyways, Lucifer had confirmed.

So Satan doesn't knock. He has a spell that undoes the lock silently, and twists it open as quietly as he can, darting in, closing and locking it behind him as he closes in on you.

You...

You don't look so good. At the same time, you look absolutely delectable.

Sitting with your knees to your chest, hunched over like some kind of beast, shivering, twitching.

There's bloodstains on your sheets - some of them dry, some of them fresher looking. Half-empty and some fully drained bags litter your floor.

You don't look cold. You don't even look weak.

Your fingers dig into your arms, wrapped around your legs, making little divots in your own flesh as your chest rises and falls in short pants.

The glare is expected. The way your pupils dilate, yawning wide black swallowing up your irises in the low light and then narrowing feverishly onto him like he's some sort of prey -

Hnnn. It makes him shiver.

He kneels at your bedside and says your name, only to receive a hiss.

"Do you want my blood?" Both of you know it. "You can have it. I'm right here, I came here to do this for you."

"Shut - " It hurts him to hear - your voice raw and cracked and hoarse, had you been drinking properly? " - UP, Satan. Get out."

He'll have none of that. For your sake, of course - and certainly not his, not because his blood is already flowing downwards, pooling in his gut at the predatory look in his eyes -

"No," Satan tells you, only for you to snarl at him and kick at him.

But he's a demon. He can take it.

After several moments of him getting close enough to feel the warmth of your body, you stay there, face tucked against your knees, ignoring him completely.

But you want it. He knows you have to want it... he just has to break your self-control.

The claws come out. He claws a careful line against his wrist, deep enough to draw just a trickle of blood.

You stiffen immediately. He can see your eyes, open wide and dilating, instantly seeking out the source of the scent.

"Go away," You rasp, drawing back on your mattress.

He reaches out to pet your hair, with the wrist he'd cut, and you scramble back, uncurling - exactly as he'd liked, you're panting now, breathing in the irresistible smell, catching the red that drips down in his forearm.

"Do you want it to go to waste?" His low voice asks you, and it takes everything you have not to dive forward.

You swallow hard - the dryness in your mouth only reminds you how parched you are, how hungry.

How nothing could sate your hunger like this could -

No. No, no. You don't need this. You don't.

Satan's curious. Maybe he even wants to help you. He doesn't know what feeding does to the victim, or to the vampire, when it's done live. You can't do this to him.

And clenches his hand, like the clever little prick he is, causing more blood to trickle out.

You're - you're so hungry. Achingly.

It's empty, like a hole in your stomach, a yearning that hollows you out, your throat is so dry, and the aroma that floods your senses as he waves his meal in your face -

Without your permission, your hands dart out, clutching at his fingers and drawing his blooding wrist towards you.

But he... what if he... if he thinks -

The taste of his blood hits your tongue. It's warm, flowing savory over your tongue like juices running from a fine, tender steak.

It's so good. It's so fucking good.

You'd been starving, ravenous, and it floods your senses, filling your mouth as you wrap your lips around his cut.

Satan can learn his lesson like a big boy. He's a grown up demon. He'll be alright.

He offered... you drink, lap at it more and more, swallowing tiny drops that burst with flavor and make your mouth water even as you draw more from him.

You deserve this. You deserve him. You deserve to have as much of him as you want, taste all that you want.

Satan catches your eyes, looking up at his as your mouth closes over his wrist. Pupils blown wide in want, gaze full of fevered desire as he feels you tense as you stare him down.

There's a heat that blooms on his cheeks. His gaze locked in yours, transfixed, as the throb in his arm grows heavier, until he can feel it in his chest, and lower, lower...

Your lips pursing against his skin as you suck at him, burning hot, that lurid look you give him when you pull away with a pop, that pretty mouth just barely parted; he's never seen anything so beautiful.

How soft those lips had been, how nicely they'd pressed against him, how good they'd feel around his -

Soon, his lips are parted and panting, too.

You drink him in one further moment; his gorgeous features, flushed cheeks, golden hair and pretty, pale skin bobbing over his throat.

And then you strike.

Diving in for his throat, latching on as you launch yourself onto him, uncaring of where or what position you end up in.

Satan catches you, arms wrapping around your waist, shifting you into a straddling position as he turns you both around so he can rest his back against your bedframe and remain upright while you drink.

The pinch of teeth against his neck flares in pain, but the squirm of your tongue distracts him, the sound of your breath heavy, close to his ear, dominating his awareness.

You don't hold anything back. You're so hungry. He tastes so good.

His skin is warm, supple, yielding beneath you, blood pouring so easily right into the empty hole of your stomach.

It tastes good it's so good you drink and drink and it'll never be enough.

This is yours. It's all yours. This soft skin, salty, the pulse that dances with your lips like a kiss, the vibrations through his throat as he moans.

He wants you. He's yours. Satan is all yours yours yours you can have all of him -

"Ah - ahhhh... hnng, were you... that hungry...?"

You purr against him with another heavy swallow. It's leaking out your mouth, sticky, and you want to lap up every drop of it but you're just so hungry, so empty, and it's all you can do to press into his wound to send blood surging through faster.

Savory and delectable, sweetened by the heat of lust, by the aching throb you can feel between his legs against your knee; not a drop, not a drop can go to waste, it belongs to you.

The thought prompts you to bite down even harder, and he moans again. His neck aches in the best way, in the hot, fevered euphoria of being devoured with a passion.

You feel more blood rush into your mouth, and the delicious tremble of his moans, and you eat it all up, like you deserve.

It's like ambrosia on your lips. You'll never give this up.

Satan lays there, compliant, obedient, subject to a strange bliss he'd never known. Light and airy, radiating through his whole body with a delicate tickle, as if his veins were bubbling champagne.

There's no pain at his neck, only the warmth of you against him, nursing like a kitten.

Suckling gently at his neck in time with the pulse of his cock, throbbing distantly between his legs. The lust that soars through him is strong, but sedated, as the pleasure overcomes him in gentle waves.

There's no feeling like it. Has he even cum yet? It feels like a climax in slow motion, the delicious release warming him as you take your fill of him.

He swears he feels you whisper mine against his neck, your fingers curling ownership into his chest, legs locking on either side of him.

This was how hungry you were? How much you needed this?

A pinch against his neck, a hard suck, as you greedily draw another mouthful from him, and another rush of ecstasy radiates through his flesh.

This was how much you need him?

Golden lashes flutter against pink cheeks as he closes his eyes, letting his head rest against your soft hair.

He lets his arms rest around you, weakly; maybe if he does, you'll realize he wants you close, too? That he's yours, that he'd give anything he had to give, if only he knew you wanted it?

A gentle sigh of pure relief, of comfort and bliss, brushes against the bare skin of his neck, and Satan smiles.

You probably know already anyways.

#obey me #satan #satan x reader #lemon flavored #gn reader #reader is also a vampire #ambiguous reader #long post

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active-mind-15 · 1 year ago

Text

Thanks for the tag! Here's my bingo card for you. I got bingo in like 4 different directions, LMFAO.

And just like you, I'll elaborate on all the boxes I crossed off. Since you said I'm new to you, I'll try and give you as much info as I can on my personal writing experience. I think I'll go row by row for this, starting from the left side.

-When I first started writing, I was on Fanfiction.net. I still have that account and recently updated a fic on there (Accidental Siblings), but I still gotta get back to/clean up some of my other old fics on there.

-Yep, still got an AO3. I cross-posted some of my FFN fics there, but now more than half of the works there are AO3-exclusive.

-I distinctly remember beta-reading for a friend back in the day, but it was so long ago I don't even remember what the fic was called. First and only time I beta-read, though.

-All of my fics are un-beta'd. We die like men.

-The very first fic I ever wrote was basically a self-insert even though I tried to play it off like it wasn't. It was a Pokémon fic that I wrote when I was like 15. But eventually, as time went on, I thought it was too cringey and deleted it off not only FFN but my hard drive, too. I couldn't even show the fic to you if I wanted to. It's gone for good 😭. There was also another fic of mine that I wrote soon after deleting my first one, which is a KNB episodic style one-shot collection that is nothing but self-indulgent. I still need to clean that one up, though, so I won't share it just yet.

-Keyboard smashing is what I do. More so on Twitter, but if I see something that really just causes me to go crazy then imma show it. If it's a fic that I really like, I'll also write a big ass essay in the comments about all the things I like about it.

-Oh yeah, there have been multiple occasions where I wanted to leave kudos, but I apparently already had. Some works are just that good.

-Not only is Fluff most of what I read, but it's most of what I write as well. Fluff is a BIG part of my works because I don't do well seeing people suffer. Especially since a lot of my early works were Akashi-centric. I was tired of seeing this boy be miserable, so I was like, "Why can't we just have a story where he's not miserable for once?" and so I wrote it. I enjoy the warm feelings I get inside when someone gets the love and affection they deserve, whether that's platonic, romantic, or otherwise. This is also why I'm a sucker for Hurt/Comfort fics, too.

-The M/M I wrote was more of an unfinished premise, but I just wanted to try writing romance for once since I never do. But idk if I'll ever expand on what I wrote because I have no thoughts about where I would take that plot, and I'm also busy with other stories.

-I do believe fanfiction is a legitimate genre and is an integral pillar of literature. It deserves its flowers.

-As stated in my bingo card, I write mainly for KNB and BTS. My BTS stuff is more popular, though, for reasons I'm sure are obvious to you.

-The amount of research that goes into some fics of mine is actually kind of insane. Some of it involves Google searches that I hope the FBI isn't looking at, and the other part is watching things related to the topic at hand. Like for Accidental Siblings, my research on the behaviors of children for that fic led me to watch a British ongoing docuseries called 'The Secret Life of 4, 5, and 6-year-olds' just to see the kinds of things kids that age did and talked about. It's a genuinely good program, too. I'd recommend it.

-I ALWAYS keep an outline for writing. I actually have notebooks for all the fics I write. It's usually one fic to one notebook, unless it's one-shots. Then I do multiple one-shots to one notebook. Whenever I have chapter outlines to write or miscellaneous world-building I want to make note of, I just write it down. And then, when the time comes to write a chapter, I look back at my notes. Usually, my outlines are just chronological bullet points of events I want to happen in the chapter. Sometimes, I may write down specific dialogue I want to use or specific details I want to make mention of. And then when I get to writing the chapters, it's simply going by the outline and then filling in the blanks with my imagination.

-I don't "anxiously" wait for feedback these days, but back then, I was FEENING for attention. Comments on my work would make me so happy. They still do! But since I update very sporadically, I understand that I may not get feedback as often as I used to. And that's fine! When it comes to fics, I'm fairly intrinsically motivated. So even if I get no feedback, I won't stop putting my work out there.

-Back when I was updating for Accidental Siblings more frequently, @clubakashi, whose fanart inspired me to make the pic, ended up drawing Akashi and baby Bokushi and then posting it! There were also people submitting to them too talking about their own headcanons for the fic, which was cool to see.

-I have several unpublished stories and even more unfinished ones. I think I have 6 fics that are still ongoing. The rest are one-shots. But I have a few unfinished new fic ideas in my USB that have yet to be released to the public.

-I'm a perfectionist by nature, so editing and formatting is always a grueling experience because I care too much about little details that nobody will even notice/care about.

-I always get ideas in the middle of the night. Especially because I sometimes like to role-play scenarios in my head to see if they'd work in my fics. I may even go as far as physically acting something out or saying a line of dialogue to see if it would fit.

-My ongoing fics are the ones that receive the most attention, but my one-shots are what I hope would get more attention because I still worked hard to write them. Both for BTS and KNB.

But yeah, I think I elaborated on all of my points. I hope you were able to get to know me better through this bingo sheet! Thanks again for the tag! 💜

I felt implicitly tagged by @lilypheria. Here's the template too.

It may seem like I only write KnB these days but I don't consider myself to be done with my SPOP comics yet.

Tagging all my writer friends but I'm going to mention @active-mind-15 because you're kind of new to me. But I really want to hear about all my writer mutuals and followers. By the way if you've written one unfinished fic or tried to start to write your ideas but can't, or haven't written for years, or have any other struggle that makes you feel invalid, you count as a writer.

Going to elaborate under the cut because I felt like it.

My old account was FinFanFun, a Finnish site I used mostly for reading Facebook wall fics about that which should not be named.

AO3 is where I publish my KnB fics though I've considered branching out to see if there's still some fandom corners I haven't reached.

I'm slowly introducing myself to writing smut but the only story I've published has been called mild and soft smut or smut-ish, and I doubt the rest will be much different.

I frequently beta-read for friends, though fanfiction is the minority.

I used to have two beta-readers but they're unable to do it anymore so all my fics rely solely on me for now, which makes me really anxious sometimes. I am pretty desperate for a new beta-reader so if KagaKuro and a million words of "homework" doesn't frighten you, please jump into an adventure with me!

All my fics are self-indulgent in that they're what I want to see play out in the story. They are not personal fantasies, or necessarily what I want to see in real life, but it's what I envision for these characters.

I'm always reading old favourite fics again and I need to branch out actually.

If I'm in need of a short fic to read I will probably pick fluff.

Have written m/m and f/f (and m/? and m/f) but honestly it's weird to put them in the same category when m/m is so overrepresented.

I'm not actually sure if I consider fanfiction as a genre or rather a medium, because all genres exist inside fanfiction. Medium is probably more true but I seem to have checked it anyway because I feel like the point here is whether fanfiction is valid literature and that it is.

I don't know if two fandoms with one being dormant would be considered multifandom so maybe no.

I do anxiously wait for feedback since I'm very community oriented but I'm also very introverted and internally motivated so the lack of it doesn't discourage me. I have patience and I can wait for connection for years and years. Not that lack of connection doesn't affect me, of course it does, but giving up is just a very antithetical concept to my beliefs and life.

I have one on-going long KnB story and one unfinished She-Ra fic that is waiting for a better time. Which is an exception since I tend to finish what I start before moving on.

Editing fanfiction is actually not as bad as editing original fiction because I put much less pressure on myself, partially because you can always edit your fic again.

Always listening to hours long conversations in my head between characters when I'm trying to sleep. They're really bad at shutting up and I'm supposed to remember this stuff in the morning?

I was mildly drunk for ten days straight to write Anything Can Happen. Haven't done that since but it was really fun.

My main KnB storyline gets most of my attention. It's just my thing, I pour everything into it.

I didn't check 'wants to be a professional writer' because after three traditionally published books I consider myself to be that already. I actually went the other way around than seems to be the norm: I was an original fiction writer first and then branched out to fanfiction in my twenties. I can see it greatly affects how I write fic, and it's probably the main reason I feel like a bit of an outsider.

#fanfiction #writing #bingo

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cc-writesfor2dcharacters · 3 years ago

Text

a/n: of course, love! idk how i did on this one, but i hope you like it!

tw: for those who are sensitive about this kind of topic, please do not read it :((

𝓚𝓮𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓮 𝓑𝓪𝓳𝓲

To be honest, he really doesn't know what to do. You've isolated yourself for a while and he doesn't know why. Everything is crumbling apart for you and it gets harder every second. Because yesterday you were full of energy and talked a lot with Baji, where he only just had to sit down and listen to the love of his life talk about random stuff. Now, he's confused about why you were ignoring his texts. He thought he did or said something wrong. He didn't hesitate any more and went to your house. Your mother approached him, telling him that you haven't eaten since last night. So, he excused himself for a while and got you something to eat. Something you both enjoy. Yakisoba. When he came back, he gently knocked at your door. You yelled, asking who was in the door and he softly told it was him. As he entered your room, you were facing the wall and you were sitting on the floor while hugging your knees. He noticed that your room was a mess. Your laptop was open and you had an unfinished project. He tried to sit beside you but you flinch away from him when he was about to extend his hand to you. Your mom has given him your medicine, in hopes that you will accept if he was the one to give it to you. "We'll go to the beach after you feel better, okay? So, drink this up, love. I'm here for you." As you looked at him, he noticed how puffy your eyes were. He can't bear to see you like this. But, finally, you did take your medicine and let him cuddle you up until you fell asleep (because you haven't slept for the whole night after your mind was filled with plenty of ideas and scenarios in your head that kept you up all night). He did keep his promise after you calmed down. And, he will encourage you to get professional help. He knows how scary this is for you, so he'll always be there to make you feel extra better.

𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓳𝓲𝓻𝓸 𝓢𝓪𝓷𝓸

Mikey is not the type of person who's good with words. But, he's been through something almost the same, so he respects how you feel. It's a dark feeling, but even if he wanted to give you space, he's worried about you. He's aware of how many emotions will rush through your mind and how they will eventually affect your heart. When he notices how your body is rushing with energy, he will try to match your energy because he knows this is the 1st stage of your episode. He'll make you feel that you're not alone. And, when you're about to go home? He'll humbly inform your mother that your episode is starting and he wants to look after you as well. Which your mother accepted since you're too hard to handle alone when you're having these episodes. Mikey will just sit there and watch as you dance along to the new song on the radio. He smiled at the sight of you, but at the same time, it wouldn't last long... After a few minutes, just when he helped your mom cook you food, you were punching the wall. He immediately stopped you but you just got mad at him and told him to stay away. He doesn't care if you ever hit him, as long as you won't hurt yourself in the process. You eventually ate your food, which was pork tonkatsu that usually tastes so good, but now it tasted so bland. After you ate and drank your medicine, Mikey tucked you in your bed. But, you just can't sleep, not when you're hearing voices in your head. He will comfort you and tell you it's okay. He'll play comforting music and he will talk nonstop so that you will hear HIS voice and not the ones in your head. Mikey will stay and be patient with you. He knows what to do and what not to do. He won't let you go through your episodes alone, because he knows how tough it is to feel that way.

𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲 𝓜𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓾𝔂𝓪

When you informed him about your episodes, this boy researched what it is about and what he could do to help you. He'll be ready in case your episode starts. He's already fully aware when it starts. As you burst out with high energy, he'll take you on a ride but will watch you closely. He'll let you release all that energy up, but not to an extent where you're too exhausted because, from his research, he found out that you won't be able to get to sleep at night. On the way home, he'll make you sit in front because you were getting too energetic and he's afraid you might fall off of the motorcycle. He'll let you talk about the creative ideas you've just thought, and he'll memorize it in case you forgot about it after your episode. And, just like what he expected, you were irritable when you got home. But, he'll watch you closely in case you hurt yourself. Everything agitates you, while you tried doing 5 things at once since your attention span was so short at that time. You weren't talking to him at this point anymore. A few minutes later, you started crying and told him your heart feels heavy. And, if he's got to stay at the hospital to attend to your needs? He will. He immediately takes you to the emergency room and have you get the proper treatment you need. While the nurses help you out, he'll ask the doctor for brief advice so he could handle it better the next time you have an episode. They gave you more medications to take, which Mitsuya was happy about since it'll ease up what you feel. From then on, he'll track your mood, emotion, reactions, and everything you do every hour of the day. He'll remind you to take care of yourself. And, when he's not around to help you? He'll just knit you a fluffy blanket and you'll instantly feel better when you hug it. Mitsuya has always been a very attentive man, and he won't leave you alone in the dark no matter what. He'll help you get back up and will understand your needs better than anyone.

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 3 years ago

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(TW for meds, insomnia, hospital, accident, death, pandemic, violence) This is an ask for reassurance and advice. I currently take medicine that was prescribed to me after my trauma to treat insomnia. I thought this would just be a "band-aid" solution but it feels like life kept spiraling downhill and I've had to continue to stay on the med for now. I won't get into the details but after my first trauma (which was a personal trauma, no one else was hurt or impacted but me), I then had a (1/10)

sudden death in the family, my mom was paralyzed after an accident, and I also had to start taking care of a family member in the late stages of Alzheimer's. When my mom was paralyzed and my other family member died, I was put on a psychiatric waiver from my classes because my school said I was too unstable to keep attending. I tried to seek help from my school's counseling center twice. The first time, they wouldn't see me because I wasn't enrolled at the time (this was after my first trauma which involved hospitalization so I wasn't taking classes).

The second time (after the death + accident + becoming a caretaker), they literally said that my problems were "too severe" for them to deal with but wouldn't give me any other resources. So rather than receiving proper long-term counseling, I've had to rely on my medicine. Like I mentioned, it's prescribed to me by a doctor, I don't abuse it, I'm on a small dose, and I don't get any side effects from it. But I just see it as a personal failure because I think to myself "If only I had gotten better help before, I wouldn't be relying on medication now." Plus even with medication due to my life being so unstable I still encounter issues with sleep and have sleep-related anxiety in general. I don't feel ready to come off my medication for now, because I feel like a change in medication would be a bad idea given my current circumstances and tbh the pandemic has made things that were already stressful even more stressful, for example there's been vaccine shortages where I live, lots of fights and violence in broad daylight, and just... really bad policies that have kept the pandemic out of control compared to other places.

I'm not living in a stable environment, I've always hated this city and the pandemic made me realize just how little I can keep tolerating it. I'm currently going to a new school I'm hopefully graduating from soon and still get extreme stress on a daily basis thanks to having to take care of my family members on top of loads of schoolwork. I did see a counselor (only short-term though because they ended up moving out of this country) who said my dose is safe and that they believe that once I eliminate some of the stressors from my life (like finally graduating school and leaving this bad environment) and can focus on my trauma recovery without as much stress, I will eventually not need the medicine anymore, and will be able to gradually wean off of it.

I have researched about this online and would do it carefully under the guidance of a medical professional, plus like I mentioned before I'm on a low dose and never abuse it. There's been times where I've fallen asleep without it and also some times where I've been able to go for months on a reduced dose comfortably, until some obstacle sets me back and I'm back to feeling like I need the full dose again. I still have a LOT of fear like "What if I'm STILL too mentally messed up even after life gets less stressful for me? What if I run into new traumas? What if it's too difficult for me to stop needing my medicine to sleep? What if the problem is all ME and I'm just this messed up person beyond repair who failed at being a human thanks to my trauma ruining me?" and I get extremely, overwhelmingly panicked over those thoughts literally every day.

One fear in particular that I have is that I know when my relative with Alzheimer's dies, it will be absolutely devastating. I just wish my initial trauma would have never happened to me, because now it feels like my brain is far too messed up to handle ANYTHING else, whether it's just school or if it's something more serious like more deaths/accidents in the family. I feel like if someone else were going through this I would support them and encourage them but I can't give my brain the same treatment I would give to someone else. I just feel like I'm stuck in this situation and it all goes back to not getting the right help from the right people at the right time.

Can I have some advice and reassurance about how to approach all of this? (Also, I wanted to add that I have severe health anxiety, so if possible I would appreciate if you could please try to avoid saying things that would make my anxiety worse in regards to health topics since I see a lot of "worst case scenario" type stuff online that causes me to panic and I want to focus on positive possibilities instead, please) Thanks!

---

Hi Anon,

First of all, it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress and holding up really well considering that. I know it may feel like you’re not doing well at all, but it sounds like you’re still getting through school and taking care of family, both of which are not easy things. You should feel good about the fact you’re doing a lot better than many people would be in the same situation.

The fact that you are taking a medication isn’t a failure at all. If someone was depressed and taking an anti-depressant medication to treat it, that wouldn’t be a sign of weakness. If someone had a lactose intolerance and sometimes took a medication so they could eat cheese while minimizing the effects, that wouldn’t be “wrong”.

It sounds like your school’s counselling center failed you. That really sucks. But it isn’t your fault that they wouldn’t help you or even get you access to other resources - it sounds like you did what you could to get help, especially considering everything that you were going through.

You are not a failure because you need a bit of help, especially with everything you are handling right now. It would have been great if you had gotten the help you needed before, but now you should be focused on doing what you can to reduce the stress in your life. Graduating school is obviously a big thing you can do to help yourself. But also, if there is a way you can get more help taking care of family, you may want to make use of that. If there’s another way to access counselling, you may to try that. If meditation, mindfulness exercises, or any other stress management techniques are helpful to you, those are a possibility as well.

There is no shame at all in taking a medication to help you sleep, but I also have confidence that things will get better and you will be able to wean off of it in the future (but it’s okay if you decide not to do this, too). You’re doing great. Things will get better.

You’ve got this.

- Mod Ess

#trauma talks #insomnia #pandemic #death #tw death #accident #violence #Mod Ess

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depressedhatakekakashi · 4 years ago

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So, i had an idea that Kakashi notices that one of his friends is sad all the time, always talking about wanting to hang out, and when she is asked to hang out, she always refuses, and very sadly. (he doesn't know she is refusing because it's always food based hangouts) she seems shut away and isolated, and that won't do. Initially he teases her and makes fun of her for always wanting to hang out, but then refusing, and it makes her cry, he doesn't understand why.

So of course he is back tracking, going oh shit, what did I do? What did I say? She tries to reassure him that it's okay, just that topic is touchy, because there is a problem she is trying to find a way to deal with, and she's just stuck in how to do it.

He asks what it is. The look she gives him is one of vulnerability, (personally I m not sure if he'd have to fight down the urge to run, cause it's something personal that would definitely bond them closer, or if he would become concerned for her, and wonder if he can help.) but he listens.

"Kakashi, I have PCOS. It's a very painful condition, and it causes so many other issues. I have to shave my chin every morning, because it causes hair to grow in places it shouldn't, it causes weight gain that cannot be lost easily at all, it's a fight to keep fat off of me, makes fertility almost non-existent, extremely erratic and painful periods that are accompanied by very heavy bleeding... and people wonder why i'm semi-anemic.

Of course, these symptoms combined lead to a lot of other emotional issues, and mental issues, like depression and lack of self esteem. It's caused by a hormonal imbalance, and the worst symptom is the cysts that grow on my ovaries. Did you know what helps? Eating Keto. But it's impossible to eat Keto in restaurants. Everything in there is so heavily full of carbs and sugar, and you can't exactly bring your own food in.

I'm not trying to isolate myself. This is a personal issue that I haven't figured out how to solve yet. It's incredibly embarrassing, and shameful. My diet is so different from everyone else, and it's very expensive, but it's my medicine.

It's either this, or only be able to be a shinobi half of the time, while the other, I need to be monitored carefully over the amount of blood in my body, while i try not to scream in agony on the floor because I am woozy and dizzy from how painful my periods are when they do happen. Not to mention when one of the cysts burst. It hurts more than having your appendix burst. Personal experience on that one.

I have no choice. I can't live like that anymore. So I stay home."

What I don't know, is what he'd do afterwards.

(yes, this is something I deal with, I've been looking for some comfort on it, because it really is lonely when you have to say 'no' to spending time with people because they're going to a restaurant, and that means there is very little you can have, on top of which if you have allergies to some of the ingredients in those foods, then what do you do? Sit there?

I'm not looking for an RP, just kind of what would he do here. I hope this isn't too much, my weight has been weighing (snort) on my mind again, and not in a good way. You don't have to reply to this if you don't want to. You can do HC's if you want instead about what he'd do. Anything your comfortable with. Hell, what would any shinobi do in this situation would be great. Anything on this issue would be greatly appreciated.)

Hi, wanna hear something cool. I saw PCOS and the smile on my face is unexplainable. I also have this, and while my symptoms are very different (irrational periods, severe camps, increased muscle tone, more ‘mascular’ features) i am FULLY here for it

I do have headcannons of trans Gai who has the same thing, because someone honestly had to suffer with me (and I already make Kakashi suffer so much) but I am HERE for this wholy shit.

What I think he would do first is research. He wants to know everything he can about her condition and how he can help her. The things he can do to make things easier, or help her over those problems.

Once he has a decent idea of what’s happening, he starts planning. Making hang outs that have nothing to do with food so that she doesn’t feel the need to tap out, but also just… training or working in her confidence. Having weight doesn’t mean someone’s less lovable or amazing and he needs her to know this. That no matter what, he’s there for her and thinks she’s stunning

#PCOS #It sucks and I hate it

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notfeelingthyaster · 4 years ago

Text

Imagine (Son of Hades! Percy; Godswapped! Big Three's kids) (7/8) or (12/13)

Blood of Olympus pt. 1 - The Aftermath

Hello! So there I go dividing more stuff - oh well, what did you expect? Before reading, make sure to check the masterpost - there's a lot before this.

Before anything, I want to apologize. A reader brought to my attention that I had not put on trigger warnings - a mistake that I corrected as soon as I could. I apologize if I accidentally triggered anyone. I'm sorry, I won't do that again. Check the masterpost for the warnings before proceeding and tell me if I forgot any. So, anyway. Good reading, enjoy!! :))

They're traveling to Athens. It's slower because the winds don't cooperate - but they have some time. They have to be there by August 30th, so ten days.

It's good, Annabeth thinks. It gives her time. Time to plan, to strategize. To hope a part of her best friend, the only remnant of her teenage years that is not dead or off serving the gods, is not still in the Pit.

She keeps herself occupied - between maps, research, and daily messages from Reyna and Malcolm, Annabeth has not a lot of time to ponder.

But when she does - and she does anyway, because Annabeth is a solver. Is what she does, she solves problems - but she has no idea how to fix her best friend.

Percy - Perseus, really, because this is him in full combat mode - has been awake for exactly a day and a half. Literally.

He doesn't sleep - mostly, he just patrols. It doesn't seem to affect him much. At least he is eating. Oh yes, the eating - he eats like the food is going to be taken from him at any second, and as much as he can.

She can't help but be scared - he has the same scar, at the same place. If Annabeth is a little affected by it, how is he dealing with the remainder of the son of Hermes?

Annabeth knows rationally that she can't blame him for not talking to anyone, for acting differently. But it hurts, that he won't confide in any of them, in her - not about what happened down there.

It's been a day and a half. He was in the Pit for more or less twenty days - and time in the Underworld is different. What if he was stuck there for years in his perspective? What did he see there?

These are questions that, unfortunately, only Perseus could answer. And he is deflecting. Well, at least he looks closer to crashing when they trade places at patrol - Annabeth will wait until he is ready, but she really hopes is soon.

Sometimes, when she is alone, she wishes none of this ever happened. If they were in power, maybe this wouldn't happen - it's not hubris, right? To see that they would be better than the gods?

The daughter of Athena is not alone in worrying. Most of the crew share different levels of concern - mostly prominent in Will, who saw all of Percy's scars and is torn between wanting to know how he got them, and never asking for fear of the answer.

Leo is surprised to notice that he is also very worried about the health aspect. He is not a person that generally focuses on humans - but this is different. He saw prosthetics before - Hephaestus cabin does a lot of them - and this kind of amputation? Very traumatic. People took a lot of time to adapt - Jake amputated his foot eight months ago and he is still having phantom limb pain and disassociating from it.

Okay that Perseus' new leg is a marvel of engineering that Leo's hands are itching to dismantle to see how it works - alas, Daedalus never left the blueprints of his fake body in Annabeth's laptop, he asked - but how did he deal with it in the middle of a wasteland?

Everything came full circle when the boy in question finally crashes - Nico is the first one to wake up with the screams. They aren't shrieks, nor words, just sheer screams of pure horror.

When he is out of his door, sword at hand, all the other cabins are opening too - Jason is the last to come down, being in the deck in patrol.

Perseus' door is cold. There's no other name for it - there's an aura of pure death around it, covering the entire hallway in a dreadful mood. It curls around Nico's spine - he can feel the shiver in his bones.

The one who opens it is Hazel, the one who seems least affected by the cold - it's so easy to forget that she was dead once. Perseus is immobile in the bed, his mouth open in the awful scream.

Before Will can stop him, Nico goes to wake Perseus up. He has no idea how to deal with the situation, but he cannot keep hearing this. Piper tries to hold his arm to stop him, but she is still sleep ridden.

The son of Zeus barely touches the other demigod - his fingers barely skimming Perseus' arm - and he is pinned to the wall, an ax he didn't even seem prepared to slash at him, with a tiger growling behind Perseus.

Nico suddenly feels like his true age. His whole body tires and sags, and he feels the drawn in his bones - it's only a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity. He wants to drop down - to rest and let his slumber carry his soul away.

He closes his eyes - expecting either the slash of the blade or the tiredness to take him away - but neither happens.

"STOP"

It's Piper. It works - more or less. Perseus doesn't immediately drop everything - the light just seems to return to his eyes. They are black still, but the vines of green are back, creeping towards his pupils.

"Oh. Oh shit. Shit shit shit. Nico. I... I... I'm s-sorry... Oh gods I'm so, so, so s-sorry I-... I didn't... I didn't t-think... I-... this, this wasn't s-su-su... supposed to happen! This wasn't supposed t-to c-come with me!"

Perseus worked himself into a frenzy. He is in a corner of his room now, his ax left behind, but the tiger firmly in front of his master. None of the others have noticed Nico's strength leaving him. The son of Zeus half thinks he imagined it.

"No... no. No. No, no, no. No touching. No touching. No. No touching."

Perseus is almost trembling, but he is not crying. Nico realizes that he saw Perseus cry only once - when Luke was spread on the floor of the Olympus, Annabeth's dagger buried to the hilt in his tight. He wonders if the hero ever cried for himself.

The son of Zeus - and most of their friends that took a step forward - put their hands up, take a step back. Perseus seems calmer.

They don't talk about it. Nico suspects something happened - he felt so tired. He felt eighty - his body decaying around him. But nobody mentioned it - and when they left Percy alone, it was like it was just a nightmare.

PTSD, Will called it. Anxiety after days of being hunted through hell - the trauma still fixed on his mind, the idea of being in danger every second of every day. Depending on the outcome of this war, they might all have it by the end of it, if they don't already.

But Nico knows there's more to it. He would pass it up as a figment of his imagination if Perseus touched anyone. But he doesn't - he avoids even looking at people for too long.

He tries to bring up the topic with Annabeth - the gloves, the sweaters back. She thinks that it's comfort, something to tether him into reality.

Nico doesn't believe that - he doesn't think she does either. He had his own struggles with anxiety for years, but he has no time for pushing. After that night, Perseus doesn't scream again - one has to wonder if he is even sleeping at all.

Nico wants to help. For once, correct something that he knows it's his mistake no matter how many times they deny it. It's how he finds himself in the third night hovering in Perseus' door.

This is not really a smart idea - because the other demigod notices and opens it, so tired - there are bags under his eyes, but the ax is held precariously in his hand.

"What is it, Nico?"

The correct answer would be "Sorry, didn't mean to bother you." But Nico's dumbass teenager mind stutters.

"I... I wanted to check on you. Are you okay? I... I just noticed that you seem kinda weird."

Percy is not angry or resentful - he doesn't even slam the door in his face as Nico would probably do. He is just tired, and that's a thousand times worse.

"Why... why do you care?"

"We are friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah, sure. Kind of." The "you never bothered before" goes unsaid.

It stings, but it's not a lie. Their past is turbulent - a lot of misunderstandings and mistakes on Nico's side, a lot of grudges and overreacting on Percy's. Still, they fought in a war together. They're still fighting.

"I care about you" He hopes Percy doesn't see the blatant subtext "Something happened - don't... d-don't shut me out. I did that when Bianca... died. Nothing good came out of that."

Perseus takes a deep breath - he looks exhausted to the bone. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to mention Bianca. One of his hands tremble - Nico sees that no parts of his body touch the mechanical leg, ever.

"Something happened. I fell down into hell." He must see the flinch Nico gives, and breaths out "Sorry. That was harsh. It... it wasn't your fault. It's nobody's fault."

Something in his eyes tells Nico that he does blame someone - not him, but maybe Arachne. Or the gods. Or Annabeth. Or worse, himself.

Well, that couldn't stand.

"I know" He doesn't, but that's not the moment "But you need help. I can help."

Nico makes a move to touch Perseus' arm - it's a bad idea because his whole body flinches away.

"I don't. I don't want your help."

It's uncalled for, and it hurts on Nico's pride - of course, he wouldn't need Nico's help. What did Nico ever do to him? Was his touch so unwelcomed? Well, if he thinks he can do it alone, Nico should leave him to it.

"Sure, suit yourself. I won't bother again."

Perseus sighs again when the sixteen-year-old leaves. He doesn't want to hurt Nico - gods know that he should, dammit his weak spot for cute people that would drive a knife through his back - but they should leave him alone. He is fine. He'll be fine.

Hazel is also worried - mainly for the backlash of the coming back to the natural, living world. For her, it was weeks of adaptation - to air, breathing, the sun. And Perseus was in a worse place even.

Sometimes she wonders if the Tartarus shouldn't have been her weight to carry - if the Underworld shouldn't be her place. Hazel loves the surface - Nico, Leo, and Frank, and warmth - but there's a part of her that will forever be under a sad tree in the Fields of Asphodel.

Perseus is nothing but kind - he saved her. He saved all of them - not only from danger - but from themselves. And she is too chicken to help, after listening to her brother whine about his own experience.

Her only comfort comes when she is able to cuddle with Leo - Leo, her Leo, her soon-to-be Leo. While Frank is older and her crush for him never diminished, her own for Leo only grew.

That's why, when her patrol is ending on the fourth morning and Leo emerges from the belly of the ship, covered in grease and clutching an ash-covered wrench, talking under his breath about a thing or another, she goes khaki wacky and plants one on him.

Leo flays a little - Hazel is from the 40s. She thinks maybe this is being too forward - even if in Nova Roma, this isn't uncommon behavior. Girls are able to kiss boys - it's not being a sharecrop anymore.

The boy takes a deep breath - like he can't believe this small closed mouth smooch is happening and gives her a grin.

"Hi sugar, are you rationed?"

She laughs until her belly hurts, and they smooch again - no tongue, no open mouth. Leo blushes horribly - and it's easy to see under the grease.

When this war ends, it'll be she. And Leo. And Frank. Their lives are too short to spend pining and pondering - she sees her brother every day, and that's not what she wants.

After the war, there will be no wars. There will be no quests and no killing - just peace. Heroes get to have peace - like the original Jason. The gods are not ruining this for Hazel anymore. So she walks Leo to the front of the ship, so they can watch the sunrise together.

In the afternoon of their fourth day, they fight against a mixed group of monsters - and that's the day Piper actively begins to see the changes on Perseus.

She likes him a lot - he is an amazing friend - but he has no mercy. He annihilates two-thirds of the obstacle Gaea sent for them. It's a sight to see - because he is not close to the ground. There are no skeletons, no vines, no metal, no shadow under the sun of the middle of the day.

It's just him, his ax, and a skeleton tiger. Perseus doesn't even do it cleanly - there are blood, ichor, and dust smeared all across the floor and through his clothes. He twirls the blade around, and they don't even see him as he chops up monsters left and right.

Some try to flee - he doesn't let them. Something keeps them in the ship - and Piper would bet is Perseus, for he just keeps slaughtering them. She doesn't feel bad for them - this is war. They would kill the demigods, exactly like he is doing.

Piper is... curious. She wonders if he would rip the gods apart too - if they would bleed as much as some monsters, of if they would just turn into dust. If Perseus needs to cut them in pieces and scatter them on the Pit himself.

She isn't the only one - she sees the reluctant lust in Nico's and Jason's eyes, the sheer possibilities blooming in Annabeth's eyes. She sees fear mix with interest - Piper sees everything.

She doesn't think Perseus is well, or better. He isn't telling them shit for some reason after all. You don't go to hell and get on with life. Piper doesn't trust him to not turn on them - she knows him for about a month and a half now, a third of which he was in hell - but if he is going to destroy someone, is probably Gaea. Or the gods - she isn't bothered either way.

They are all dangerous. Reality-changing, world-ending dangerous. A skilled warrior? That doesn't scare Piper. Not anymore. Not in the middle of a war.

"Huh. Can you teach me?"

Perseus gives her a feral smile. Across his cheek, there's a streak of gold - for a second, Piper wonders if he is not a god himself.

Annabeth wonders if the gods will let them survive after the war. They got too powerful, too much. Sometimes, she looks at their eyes and sees they're more god then men. Their powers accumulate - evolve. Better.

Before, she was a sharp mind. Now Annabeth feels her godly blood spurning her further and further - no longer just mind, but the body. She sees attacks before they come - she is a goddess.

And she likes it. The power coursing through her veins - the ability to control. She then swears to herself they'll be that way - forever.

The following day, they stop by an island - Perseus feels a big gathering of ghosts. It's Odysseus' palace. They go in a group to investigate: Perseus himself, Hazel for her mist, Annabeth and Will. Nico would go - but he hasn't talked to Perseus for two days now, and is mostly sulking.

Annabeth - who is as cunning as Odysseus himself once was - asks Hazel to cloak her as a beggar. She asks around - but all suitors give vague answers. Even her wordplay cannot get a single phrase out of the ghosts.

Until Perseus puts her hands on a ghost - Eurymachus is his name - and the ghost is possessed - it tells them anything. Annabeth is clocking information from it - devouring with an avid look. Her grey eyes gleam in the blueish light of the spirits.

For Will, is almost otherworldly. It's Hades and Athena. It's more - it's Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase, controlling and pushing something they never did before.

They trade looks, and their glowing hands stay entwined long after the ghost tells them that Apollo no longer controls Delphi and that Nike is lost - running free.

Victory, Perseus thinks, Victory. A goddess so vain, that she thought the tides of war depend only on her - not on Tyche, or Bia, Enyo, and Ares. So many gods of war - so many superiors - and she thought herself capable of defying them - and the demigods. For a charioteer, Nike is quite a proud little goddess, isn't she?

So they have their next goal - finding the elusive arrogant dickhead - and following travel to Athens. With Victory on their side or not.

With the glowing phantom, their disguise is blown. Perseus himself was never proficient with ghosts - but he is very proficient with his Ax, and that cut spirits very well.

They fight - but Perseus is just so tired. He just wants them all to go away. With his powers fully restored, even if the earth doesn't obey him anymore, increasingly possessed by Gaea, the shadows should.

He is fond of his shadows - they are a comforting presence, so different from the corrupted ones of Tartarus. He revels in them - Perseus is their master. As he is master of the green ghostly fire, that seems to burn the spirits away.

He hopes sincerely that they don't even get the pleasure of the Fields of Punishment. He hopes they disappear forever in the void - Perseus has no time for petty enemies anymore in this long war which has absolutely nothing to do with them.

Will is hurt in the side - a gladius - but doesn't stay like that. As they climb back to the ship, his wound closes under the fiery light of the morning sun across his fingers - magic that was supposed to help only others, and never himself.

His father disappears, and Will is getting more power. He is not the only one - Perseus fear they'll become too much like their parents, that their powers will amplify their faults and take their humanity away - but is he even human anymore?

He looks at his "leg". It's not him - he is a cyborg. There's a dead piece of metal in him. Perseus could feel the vitality around him - their sheer youth, blazing like a light to burn all the empires. He could take it all for himself. He could kill them all, grind them to dust - they wouldn't even have time to fight him.

Perseus could take it all for himself - become immortal, a parasite latching unto others - how does that make him human? How is he any better than a flea?

They decide on a group to go to Olympia after lunch - Percy, Leo, Hazel, Nico. Four is a good number - a solid number, made of people who are non-competitive. The ones who loathe themselves - isn't this fun? Maybe they'll debate who is the worst.

They divide when they get to the island - Leo and Hazel go one way, the Nico and Percy go the other - Leo is the one to engineer it, but Percy wholeheartedly approves - it's tiring to coexist with a passive-aggressive Nico. He is done with this situation.

While the couple walks, Nico and Percy stand in awkward silence, side by side. Eventually, Percy sighs - he doesn't want to cave, but they have bigger problems to work on, and he kinda misses Nico's sarcasm.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For being harsh with you."

"No, you aren't."

"I am!"

"Will you let me help you? Will you let anyone help you?"

"I don't need help. I'm better."

"Then let me touch your hand."

"Go on."

"With no gloves."

"What? Why? No!"

"See? You aren't better!"

"We're in the middle of a war. I was in Tartarus a week ago."

"Promise me then. Promise me that after the war, you'll get help."

"Nico..."

"Promise me Percy. And don't... don't break this one."

It's the lowest of low blows, but Percy's acquiesces. They start talking - stiltedly. Percy still doesn't touch him. Then Nico sprouts something he'll later regret (or maybe not): Calypso is again locked up.

Nico sees now - before, when Perseus was mad, the earth trembled. With no earth to answer to him, the shadows curled around his ankles and his covered fingertips - rounding behind his ear and on the curve of his smirk.

The son of Zeus is not a fearful person - but that doesn't make him afraid. It makes him remember why he is so infatuated with Perseus - he is not only a hero - he is more. He is a rebel and a challenge - Perseus only follows his own rules. It's a bravery Nico lacks, and one that attracts him like a moth to a fire.

Perseus just asks him to repeat, and then hums when he does, stuttering over his stupid blush. It's mercy that the demigod is not looking in his direction.

"Fret not, Nico. Let Calypso enjoy her vacation. The beaches are really pretty this time of the year."

It's scary - there's no one in Percy's voice. It's like the demigod is on the brick of a really bad meltdown - but they both know they don't have time for it now. So Perseus breathes in - once, twice.

Calypso will be free, and he is not even using his winning wish for it - he already used one once. She did nothing wrong, they are the oathbreakers. Perseus should know better than to trust any oath in a river that they never put a finger on.

So he lies back on the rock. If they survive - when, because he didn't go to hell to die because of Tartarus' less impressive sister - she'll be free. And well prized for this stunt.

Leo and Hazel get back accompanied by Tempest, who, again, appears always following some big revelation - maybe the venti also serves Hazel's new mistress.

The group heads towards the ruins which are roughly twenty kilometers wide. They decide to walk through them, looking for something to pop up - the earth doesn't answer to Perseus, but that doesn't mean that he can't feel the power on it. Eventually, they head toward the Temple of Zeus where an old Nike statue used to stand.

Leo provokes the goddess to come forth by hurling insults at the Nike brand - it's his specialty, sassing up gods. Perseus is more of a shade kind of guy if he can say so himself.

The goddess' Roman and Greek side, Nike and Victoria, are at war with each other trying to decide which side will be victorious. It's ridiculous.

The goddess challenges the four to a fight to the death, with the Romans and Greeks against each other. But there are no Romans and Greeks here. Nico and Perseus lived on both sides - and even if Hazel is Roman-inclined and Leo didn't have time to meet Nova Roma, it doesn't change anything. They wouldn't fight each other.

The time to fight is long gone - they should be rallying against Gaea. But Nike is too proud to admit to a tie - to both sides of herself to have peace.

She demands them to fight in an arena and gives them four minutes to be present. To make sure that they get there she sends four metal statues after them. But instead of fighting each other, they will fight the goddess.

Nike can try and influence their minds - but in the end, with her so weak, battling against herself, it's no match for four strong-willed demigods. Perseus is so tired of gods with petty struggles in the middle of something so much bigger.

The goddess-es fight for him and Nico - what side should they be. They trade verbal blows - Senatus, Praetor, Titan War are all used as arguments.

Funny isn't it? She wasn't on his side a month ago. Perseus fell - into the depths of the abysm - and while he won - again, and again, and again - it wasn't truly a divine victory.

It was not her victory. The merit is his, only his. She didn't sweep down in her great golden wings to save him, did her? Nor will she help with a war to save herself and her family. So why should she exist at all? Why should Perseus abstain from draining her and...

Perseus clenches his fists - he can't, he won't kill Victory. That's not him. He is not a murderer. That's just the remnants of the Pit in his good-for-nothing mind.

She is horrible - but if she dies, she'll end up in Tartarus. And not even her colossal hubris deserves that.

So, they subdue her - her powers aren't enough to stop the four of them, not when Percy alone and twelve defeated her superior - Ares himself. And, when defeated, Nike concedes her blessing for the upcoming war - they just won Victory.

It's a good omen - but she does advise them that one of them shall die - and that they would need the Physician's Cure.

When they go back to the board, Annabeth and Will start researching - both of them know the name, but can't link it to anything else. They find it in the Infirmary Archives - some that Will brought for light reading. It's not very hopeful, since none of them are brewers, but Hazel is a magic user and Will is a healer - they can do this.

Daedalus laptop holds the answers to the formula: Pylosian Mint, Makhai, and the Curse of Delos. They would also need Asclepius himself - but seeing that he was condemned to Tartarus and probably still there, it's more probable they'll do this themselves.

Frank, Jason, and Annabeth go to the port of Pylos looking for the poison - obvious options for the small mission nearby water.

They walk for a while. Annabeth notices a weird tension between Frank and Jason - Frank is giving Jason pointed looks, while Jason gives Frank worried ones - that has been that way for a few days now.

She couldn't possibly know that was about not only Jason's obvious crush on Perseus - which Frank is pushing the blonde to act on - but about Frank's own feelings.

Yesterday morning, while Frank was coming to take his shift on the patrol, he saw Hazel and Leo kissing. And the worst part is that he is not only sad but longing.

He is not jealous. He wants that - he wants all. Is too much and he doesn't deserve it - Frank feels so small, compared to the demigods he is traveling with. And with such... disgusting desires. The son of Mars only feels guilty - he has to erase this from his mind.

Eventually, Annabeth helps Frank to force an old soldier ghost to give them answers - she tells them they need to go to Nestor's Cave and gives them the directions.

Frank goes in and talks to a man who hands him a bottle. The son of Mars explains that his cousins, other descendants of Pluto, have been living there for generations.

They dinner together - Jason is not very welcomed. Most people there still remember the last war - and aren't all that fond of the progeny of Poseidon and Zeus - but as they are close to the sea, at least they're civil.

Some of them recount fondly about their own days at Nova Roma - they are all clear-sighted mortals, even if the godly blood is too diluted in their veins, but these are the ones that have it closer - great-grandkids of minor gods attracted to the old blood.

There's even a daughter of a minor river deity - and a pair of twins that are direct descendants of Juventa, in her travels to visit Hercules. It's an overall paradise, in the middle of a war.

Annabeth misses her dad. And Thalia. And Luke. She misses having a family - she wonders if this war will turn her unrecognizable - or else if it already did. If they are too godly for the mortal world - if they shouldn't take their rightful place.

As a parting gift, the cousins gave Frank the small vile of poison - it's the Pylosian Mint, the first piece to their puzzle. Before leaving, they tell the trio about a chained god, in Sparta.

They go back to the ship - in the mess hall, Frank muses that the chained god might be Ares because the Spartans believed that if they chained him up the spirit of war would never leave them.

Hazel disagrees - she thinks it might be Aphrodite Areia - Sparta was the first place where the goddess was worshiped, and if the Romans have aspects, wouldn't the greeks too? It's quickly shot down - Dyonisus said they were reborn - their aspects changing with their cult, if they weren't worshipped at the same time.

Perseus thinks he heard once that Aphrodite Ourania, Aphrodite Areia, and Aphrodite Pandemos were worshipped at the same time - but doesn't mention it. It doesn't seem important - he might be wrong.

Piper herself argues that it might be one of their sons - Anteros, Himeros, Phobos, Deimos, Harmonia, Pothos, or Eros - for which Jason, Nico, and Frank flinch - they wouldn't want to meet the divine couple's offspring again.

Other possibilities are the Erotes - which seems to make Piper happy, for one of them is Hermaphroditus theyself - or one of Ares or Aphrodite other children - too many to list here.

Anyway, they set course to Sparta - for the happiness of Annabeth and the general tiredness of the group. It is like an RPG play - Nico muses - they have a ton of mini-quests. It's tiring, and it's boring - flicking like bees after something or other for a bigger purpose that never seems to come.

They go to sleep, and Piper has a vision: it's her, Annabeth, and Hazel, running through the ruins of a temple - the temple of Phobos, her half brother. There's blood on the blonde's forehead - and Piper looks like she did before.

She doesn't want to go there. It's fear - she understands it - but that's one fear she is not keen on facing. Her old short hair, the boy clothes, the adam's apple, the stubble.

But they need this - someone might die. Someone will need this. So damn her half-brother. Her mother promised her, that when this ends she'll be herself like she always wanted.

So she goes and tells the group - no one is really happy to send them to somewhere they might get hurt - especially because the last time Annabeth went on a mission on the Underground, shit happened - but the daughter of Athena starts to list all of their mistakes and they have no real say in what the girls do, so off they go, into Sparta.

The six boys stay behind - but no one is slacking. Will ropes Frank into helping to research for anything they might have on the Physician's Cure; Leo finally convinces Perseus to have a look at his leg - even if just to see how much time before Perseus has to go to the Phlegethon to get more fuel; and Nico and Jason are stuck in patrol together.

Which is no good - they haven't really talked since the Cupid episode, and the last few days, the worry about Perseus and the small missions clouded everyone's personal turmoils. But now that the son of Hades is somehow adapting, they have time.

And time is a dangerous thing. Before the two weren't alone in the ship - there was always one on the mission, one otherwise occupied. Leo - and probably Frank and Piper - have been running interference.

Jason had no courage to approach Perseus, as Nico did. Nico knows that - it's in the way that Perseus treats Jason, just like he does Frank - pretending that the Pit never happened.

It's impossible to do this with Leo, who looks at his leg and his medical history and see far more than the others. Or Annabeth, Will, and Hazel, who he is closer to. Or Piper, who just seems to know everything. And Nico, who confronted him face to face.

Jason, however, only knows him one-sided - Perseus doesn't know him. They are friends, and before all this happened, they seemed to spend more and more time together. But they aren't close - the camaraderie didn't have enough time to develop into the trust.

That's why is so weird - he knows what the blonde is going through - the wish to be closer, to be able to at least help in any indirect way, but unable to gleam more about the situation. The information didn't come so easy in real life as it does in dreams.

They don't talk anymore, him and Jason. They just sit in silence or walk around their rounds in opposite directions. Eventually, the son of the sea god can't help it.

"How is he?"

Nico has the urge to answer "Wouldn't you like to know?", but that's petty and unnecessary. Jason isn't a bad person. It's just too easy to love Perseus sometimes.

"Better, I think. After the war, he'll be."

It's more for their sake than the truth. They try to talk again, stilted and trivial. Nico feels awkward - he misses their natural friendship. It won't stop because of a mutual crush - but they need to work for it.

So he settles for this trying. It's bad, and it's mostly both of them skirting around topics, their upbringings making it difficult - both have the emotional development of teaspoons. But they're trying, and it's okay.

Meanwhile, the girls are descending the Temple of Phobos, which is under a blazing hill. Hazel goes in front - manipulating the mist to stop the fire and looking for traps - and Piper and Annabeth follow the hike, talking quietly to fulfill the silence.

"What are you hoping to do, after this?"

"I don't know. Spend time with my dad. Fight for trans rights. Learn how to use more weapons. You?"

"I want to reshape the world - to build something. Maybe a city for the greeks. Maybe go into politics - Nova Roma looked directly out of my dreams."

"I do like politics - I'm more on the activist side, though."

"I was all for the Nobel Woman Initiative last year - there were two of my half-sisters there. You know, I did think it would be cool for schools to take this more seriously - I did my freshman year the same school as Percy, and like, barely any girls at the honor roll - even though most PA classes were brimming with them."

"I'm guessing traditional boarding school - I went to a lot of those, y'know. I was finishing my sophomore year before this mess, taking three AP classes. Stretched out like hell."

"I was taking five - because crazy over-achievers Perseus and Rachel took four, and I couldn't decide on the options. I was overworking for a while, but I did manage better than them - I think Rachel was high every time we visited her on the St. Claire's Academy, but maybe it was just the sheer amount of coffee and Redbull."

They keep on talking. It's the first time Annabeth talks to the daughter of Aphrodite and doesn't think she is an airhead. Piper is a conversationalist - exactly the type of friend she lacks, someone that can keep up with her streams of random thoughts.

Maybe they could have a girl's night with Rachel when they go back to camp. Maybe invite Hazel, and even Reyna too - Annabeth has never had one of those, stereotypical girly things. But maybe it could be cool.

It serves as a good distraction - the longer they stay on the temple, the worse it gets. Annabeth feels crawling in her skin and a sucking - a sucking that she remembers coming from the Pit, taking her in like if she was trash.

Hazel feels cold - her skin flickers. Some moments, she can't touch anymore. It's like being dead again - the rustle of the leaves in the trees of the Asphodel Fields ring in her ears as she walks through the marble halls.

For Piper, it's her nightmare vision all over again. It's like she never came out, never took the estrogen. There are mirrors everywhere she looks - there's no escaping the image that she hates the most - Piper, the boy.

It's not that "Piper, the boy" is ugly. He is just not her - that's not her body, that's not her face, that's not her. Her gender dysphoria is rising high in the back of her mind.

They keep going into the temple anyway - it's not easy to find the "chained god". They find instead Mimas - the giant supposed to kill Hephaestus, and, apparently, Ares - now that his stupid brother Damasen is dead.

Annabeth can't connect the dots yet, but the way the giant talks about Damasen helping an enemy - in the end, it all ties up to Perseus. What doesn't, these days? She is just so frustrated about the lack of information - and her new powers of extracting stuff won't work on a giant, she's pretty sure.

The titan is the opposite of Hephaestus - where the man is silent and intelligent, he is brute force and loud voices. He remembers them of Ares - Hazel even notices that he shares features with Mars Ultor.

To fight a god meant to fight intelligence, they must be emotional - Aphrodite would be excellent for this quest. But Hazel herself takes the lead - her magic is not mind-based - while Piper follows her routine of never being where is expected of her.

But none of the three are in their best shape - fear, the mental manipulation, drains more of them than the actual physical effort. Hazel is able to drive her broadsword across the god's shoulder - but the backlash of him shaking her off throws her towards the wall.

Annabeth - the strongest of the two remainings, physically at least - hoist the younger girl over her shoulders and starts to run. Around here, there's a faint grey-ish light - her mother's blessing shining through her skin.

He nearly strikes the vulnerable Annabeth with her extra weight, managing to hit her in the thigh. Piper, however, is quicker - love always is - and stabs him in the calf.

"You think that would hurt me? Silly little thing, just like your mother - I fought against two gods in the last war - you are nothing, little gallus puella!"

Piper doesn't get Latin, but she knows enough to think that's a trans-related insult. This is not her first rodeo - not even in her old boy's body - but it stills fill her with rage she cannot name.

"You should be more worried about how the makhai will castrate you, instead of caring about what's inside my shorts!"

The giant laughs - but there are doubts in his voice. The makhai hasn't been seen in centuries - but it all connects. It's not Ares or his children - it's the spirits of war that the Spartans thought to be pieces of Ares himself.

Piper takes advantage of his distraction and charges at him with her blade, causing the giant to stumble backward into a wall and destabilize the temple.

"You're worst than that godling that was manipulating my weak, useless brothers - that one lost a leg. I wonder how many limbs I can chop off you before offering you to Mother Gaea."

That is enough to incite Annabeth's rage. She puts Hazel carefully on the floor and attacks He barely managed to deflect her attack, and as he reaches out to grab the prone girl in the ground, Piper slices off Mimas' arm and hair off.

While Piper is keeping Mimas occupied, Annabeth released the makhai from the statue of Ares. The makhai follow the girls - they couldn't forget the smell of Aphrodite Areia and Pallas Athena, not even in a thousand years. They swarm Mimas, and as he staggers off-balance, both of them deliver the final blow by stabbing the giant in his gut.

Mimas topples face-first into the nearest doorway and disintegrated into ash when the stone face of Phobos falls onto him.

The god appears only to deliver the final blow, but doesn't help at all. He just laughs at their predicament and leaves them to find their way off this maze of terrors.

It trembles over them. Hazel is still unconscious - there's a trickle of blood running through the side of her face. Something is slowing down Annabeth - she shivers every time they take a step. So it comes to Piper to try and guide them through the falling building.

She is still a boy - and she hates it - but maybe it's just an illusion, and when they get out of here, she'll get her two-year estrogen body back.

Piper guides them out, with the makhai in tow. It doesn't feel like a victory - not when, even though she crossed the border of the hill, she keeps her boy's body.

Climbing back on the ship, she hides herself in her room. She - he, because that's a he body, and a he person, and she is not a he but when she looks in the mirror, he looks back.

Piper works herself into a panic attack alone in her room - and it's actually Annabeth that comes to check on her.

"Tell me five things you can see, Piper"

Annabeth's golden tresses. A blue sweater that is probably Percy's and got mixed in the laundry. One of Leo's screws that are everywhere he goes. A crown of flowers Katie Bell did for her. Malcolm's favorite book sitting at her nightstand.

"Good. Four things you can touch."

A calloused hand beneath hers. The soft jeans Annabeth is using. The cold hardwood floors. The wall against her back.

"You're doing amazing. Now three things you can hear."

The ship's engine rumbling beneath them. Annabeth's voice. Nico's brooding rock music coming from his room.

"Almost done. Two things you can smell."

Annabeth's lavender cologne mixed with the grime and sweat of their taxing day. The salty smell of the ocean.

"One thing you can taste."

Her mouth on Annabeth's. It's Piper who starts it - she is just so overwhelmed by Annabeth's everything, still worked up about the anxiety attack she just had, and they are so close.

The daughter of Athena is surprised and pushes back - she sits side by side with Piper, holding her wrist so she can't flee.

"Piper, I... I didn't mean to pass the... wrong... signs. I don't like girls. And boy body or not, you're still a girl."

It's the best and the worst let down of Piper's life. She nods - she is the daughter of Aphrodite. She should've known better. Annabeth is in love with Perseus - for years now.

"We can still be friends, right?"

Piper nods - Annabeth thinks it's ironic. It's the same interaction she had with Perseus - and she knows that, deep down, being friends is not enough, how much this rejection is just as bad as any other.

But she wants to keep Piper in her life. Is unfair - but there's something guiltily pleasurable about having someone that likes you, to know that you're not undesirable.

It's selfish, but Annabeth never claimed to be altruistic.

Up in the deck, Frank and Jason are receiving news of Reyna. She says she and Malcolm were attacked by Lycaon and his pack - and that Malcolm had a vision about Orion, the giant meant to oppose the twin gods, heading towards the Hunters and the Amazons.

With Apollo and Artemis missing, it comes to them to help. Jason thinks they could try and help if they cross paths, but that they should inform them by IM and go on their way - they have little time to dawdle, even if they're using Malcolm's mother transport company to carry the giant statue.

They are able to rest for the remainder of the day - it's more or less eighteen hours before Reyna sends the next message - they met the hunters and the Amazon in the Lisbon's Harbor and fought Orion, but no god came to give him the final blow.

So Reyna and Hylla had to run - the statue was already shipped off to America, and nymphs were helping them to get to the Long Island Bay within the next two days. Malcolm wasn't so lucky.

Orion smashed Malcolm against a boulder, breaking his arm and a leg. As they fled, Malcolm told them to leave him behind - he would stall the giant for a little while.

With most Amazons and Hunters out of commission or dead, they had no other choice. The last thing Reyna saw was Orion raising Malcolm above his head, and the sickening crunch of it breaking against the sea rocks.

Will is the one on patrol - and the one who has to relay the news to Annabeth. He doesn't want to wake her, but it's her right to know - so he goes and wakes Perseus too, to help deliver the blow.

"Annie, I... We... We have bad news."

Annabeth screams - that was her big brother, almost her father. He taught her how to hold a shield and how to swim - he was her only family left on Camp.

It's unfair. That shouldn't be his battles anymore - he is twenty! She screams and she throws a statue of her mother - and that damned coin - into the wall. Then Annabeth sobs on Perseus' shirt.

"It's her fault Percy, all her fault if she didn't send us in this goose chase if she didn't choose Malcolm..."

Will solves to tell the others in the morning - it's late, and most of them had little to no sleep. He goes back on deck, but there's a storm brewing in the ocean - and it's not a natural one. It's some kind of deity - and that's not a good moment.

He goes to Perseus - he is still awake, asleep Annabeth with tear tracks in her cheeks and scrapped knuckles in his arms, and tells him about the situation - Will is not that good of a fighter.

"I'll deal with it. Stay with her. I'll be back shortly."

Will should be alarmed - with Perseus more recent behavior, the way he always hated the gods' trivial troubles, should he really be sending him upstairs, with an ax, a tiger, and a mad expression into his eyes? Maybe not, but he won't stop it. The deity chooses their own fate - even Will is done with their willful moods, compromising a much more important journey in their own name.

Let whoever it is burn - The son of Apollo covers the sleeping girl's ears softly. She doesn't need this kind of stress now.

The storm stops, but the screams in the deck don't - they are like music to his ears.

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