#I almost had a breakdown when i realised I only have one more to go

[jinnie-ret]

cover me

poly!stray kids x fem reader

genre: angst, fluff at the end

content warnings: stress from uni/work

word count: 1.5k

summary: money, work, school. it was only a matter of time before the boys would see her crumble, and be there to pick up the pieces

requested: @straykidsnerd255

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Every time she tried to take one step forward, something would ultimately knock her back twice as far. Finally having a very generously paid job as an intern at a big company was serving her well, yet with the return of going back to university, finding a work-school balance was becoming difficult.

Truly, that was the hardest thing. She had great people around her, those being her uni friends or her loving boyfriends, the renowned Kpop band, Stray Kids. The way they cared for her and each other with such strong morals and support meant that surely it would be easy to confide in them.

Not always, especially in this case.

Other times she would be thankful for the fact that her partners all had a longer practice at the company, not to their own detriment of course, but because it gave her more time to get herself together and paint on a calm picture of 'I'm definitely not struggling right now and on the brink of my second breakdown of the day'.

However, this time she really needed them. The stress had amounted to such a level that she felt it right through to her bones, and so she found herself crying over the smallest things, which in turn let out the release of her biggest pain.

"Stupid shoes, why aren't they organised, there's too many," she sniffled, sat on her knees by the front door as she began to cry at shoes. Yes, shoes. Her boyfriends' shoes to be specific. She would have thought at least Seungmin would have berated the others for their lack of organisation at this point but even his were out of place.

"They didn't even match them back up," she cried, and more tears spilled out, "oh, why am I even crying right now?"

Sometimes being in such a state meant that it was hard to understand your own feelings, your thoughts far too occupied with the wants of other people to be able to manage the basic needs of your own.

Eventually she gave up on the shoes and wiped her tears, walking slowly over to the sofa and letting her body fall into it with a soft thump. She tugged a soft velvety blanket over herself, one that Felix probably picked out due to it's plush exterior, and instinctively cocooned herself. Her heart felt heavy, her eyes hot and burning as the tears kept falling. All it took was a reminder on her phone for a work assignment, and a uni assignment, to trigger a sob to catch her throat.

"Too much," she sobbed to herself, trying to muffle the sounds even though there was no one else to hear them, "it's too much."

She was wrong. Not about her feelings, gosh, no, but the fact that she thought she was alone.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Hyunjin was crouched down right in front of her trembling form, almost hidden if it wasn't for the blanketed lump that had been shaking so much it couldn't have been natural.

His hand brushed her hair back and his thumb rubbed under her eyes, catching the tears that seemed to keep appearing. Hyunjin watched on in deep concern, just like their other boyfriends did the more they realised something was wrong.

"What? When, when did you get back?" she gulped down her sobs, or attempted to, even though her words still came out messily. She sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulders and resting around her hips.

"Don't worry about that, love. Just tell us what's going on, yeah? What's wrong?" Chan held her against him immediately, taking a seat ñext to her. The only time his arm that was wrapped around her moved away, was to let Jeongin lift the blanket back up to keep her warm.

"I don't know," she sniffed indignantly, coughing lightly through her cries when she tried to clear her throat. Her arm pressed against the lower half of her face.

"You're getting yourself in a state now, come on, move your arm, you know you don't have to hold back in front of us," Seungmin sighed sadly, seeing his girlfriend so stressed. He pulled her arm towards her lap which he was sat in front of, holding her hand with one of his own and the other rubbing her knee.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically at first, until hearing the rest of what he had to say and tilting her head up to the ceiling to blink away the rest of her tears.

Chan pressed a kiss against her forehead, and everyone was around her to offer comfort, Felix and Changbin in particular wanting to jump out of their seats on the adjacent sofa to take all the pain away.

"What's got you to upset, jagi?" Jisung pouted, his own eyes glistening as he saw how upset you were.

"It's stupid, really," she began, rubbing at her eyes roughly, Hyunjin subsequently tutting at her and pulling her other hand away that Seungmin wasn't occupying.

"We're not doing that, jagi," Minho shook his head, brows furrowed, looking down at the floor with his hands folded together, "if it's upset you, it's not stupid."

"Exactly, please just tell us, you know we just want to help, that's all," Felix quickly pitched in, face crumpled sadly much like your own.

"There's just too much going on really. You know? Like, oh-" she had to cut herself off when her voice cracked with emotion again.

"You're ok, take your time," Jeongin gave a small smile and nod to reassure her.

"We're listening, baby," Changbin's raspy voice rung out.

"I've got a good job right? Like, it pays so well, but now with going back to uni it's just like I don't have time for anything. I-i'm having to squeeze in hours where I don't have them because my boss won't help me work around my timetable," she explained, the clashing of two parts of her life and time issues being what was clearly causing so much turmoil.

"I'm sorry, darling," Chan tugged her closer to him, a frown on his face.

"Don't be sorry, not your fault, is it? I'm just so tired, I'm exhausted," she admitted, pressing her lips together and taking a deep breath in order to not cry again.

"We'll help you figure this out, ok?" Hyunjin leant his head against her shoulder.

"Ok, ok," she let out a deep breath and nodded.

"I think you need to focus on uni, love. If work can't meet you in the middle then, it's hard," Seungmin trailed off, not wanting to fully leave her in the dark but not wanting to be too blunt.

"What do you think, jagi?" Jisung wondered, curled up against Minho, one leg hanging over the older's lap.

"I don't know. I don't even wanna make any decisions right now," she shook her head tiredly, blinking a couple times.

"That's understandable, baby, how about we just relax for now, ok?" Changbin suggested.

"And if anything else is upsetting you, please tell us," Chan huffed with a knowing smile.

"Ok, promise," she grinned.

₊˚⊹♡

She must have fallen asleep without realising, as she found herself waking up to Jeongin and Felix giggling over something on the latter's phone.

"What's going on?" she murmured tiredly, pressing her face deeper into... Jisung's chest, it took one whiff of his cologne to be able to tell it was him.

"Had a good sleep then, hmm?" Minho poked her forehead, slow blinking at her.

"Mm, yeah," she nodded, "Lixie, Innie, what's funny?"

The two froze, looking at her a bit guiltily.

"Well, umm, you know we have that camera in the hallway, just in case for security, like if someone broke in or-" Jeongin began to ramble awkwardly,

"I know, yeah," she nods, adjusting her head against Jisung's chest as he loosely keeps an arm around her, securing her to him.

"We're actually sorry for laughing, babe, it's just... You were crying over our shoes earlier?" Felix can't even keep eye contact as he explains.

Jisung stifles a laugh and so she slaps his chest playfully through her mild embarrassment, making him yell out dramatically.

"What's Sungie done now?" Hyunjin asks as he flops onto the sofa, entering the room again after leaving Chan, Seungmin and Changbin to managing the cooking.

"It's more about what our jagi did," Minho teases, looking at her with a smug grin.

"Guys, I was stressed, leave me aloneeee," she huffed, but it didn't stop the light laughter that filled the room knowing that she wasn't completely upset about it.

"Sorry, but..." Jeongin chuckles again, "the way you throw the shoes away from you is so funny!"

"What did our shoes do to you?!" Felix laughed again as he watched the video on replay.

"They smelt bad," she grinned happily, teasing them back as revenge, "specifically Ji's."

"Yah!"

Jisung gave her a noogie, keeping her trapped in his arms. He couldn't let her discredit him like that.

"Sorry! Sorry! Hahaha!"

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[effloradox]

Means To An End

pairings: hitachiin twins x gn!reader, ohshc x gn!reader

summary: tensions are running high in the host club when the twins start to fight over a comment made by Haruhi. as their best friend, everyone expects you to have the answers but when you failed to notice any tension between the two of them, you’re left wondering if you don’t know them as well as you thought.

notes: set during episode 1.05 (the twins fight), works in the same verse as We Want You Here but is fine as a stand-alone fic too

word count: 2.2k

There’s trouble in the air. You’d say you can smell it, but with all the rose bouquets scattered around Music Room 3 it’s hard to get away from the floral smells that all your friends, hosts or otherwise, are perpetually laced with. Yesterday had been normal as far as you could tell, even if you had left school early for an appointment, but when the twins’ car had arrived at your home to pick you up to take you to school you’d been surprised to see them sporting new hair colours.

“Should I be worried about that?” The two of them raised an eyebrow in unison before your eyes drifted up to their hair. You couldn’t deny that the blue and the pink suited them really well but they’d never expressed an interest in dyeing their hair before. Not to mention how much their mother loves their natural hair colour. To dye it on a whim with no deeper purpose would be seen as a crime in her eyes. Yuzuha Hitachiin is not a woman to cross, you don’t want to think about the arguments had over this new development in the twin’s appearance. They exchange one more glance between themselves before Kaoru finally answers your question.

“It’s a means to an end.” You take a few moments to mull over the vagueness of his words, staring hard at the blue, before replying.

“Am I going to be dragged into the middle of it?”

“We’d prefer it if you didn’t.” At Hikaru’s words, the tension in the car seems to evaporate and you finally relax into your seat. You drop your bag onto the seat next to you, smoothing a crease in your uniform.

“Suits me just fine.” The rest of the journey is filled with small talk and petty gossip, just the way you like to spend your morning journey to Ouran. By the time the three of you have arrived at school you’re almost used to their new looks.

It takes until your lunch period for you to actually find out the reason for the twins’ weird behaviour. Your involvement in various clubs and extracurriculars had kept you busy and away from your friends aside from shared classes where you’d been too busy studying for upcoming exams to pay attention to your idiotic best friends. You finally had a moment of peace on your way to the dining hall when a commotion drew your attention. The pink and blue hair makes it incredibly easy to identify the twins and you can only watch in mild horror at the food fight that has broken out between the two of them. You’d been more than content to turn on your heel and head back where you came from when a foreign pair of arms grab you, pulling you down a corridor not far from the dining hall.

“I demand you tell me what’s going on with those shady twins!” It takes you a few beats to realise that it’s Tamaki that pulled you away. You’re more than used to being manhandled by the twins but Tamaki doesn’t seem like the type to do so unprompted to anyone but Haruhi. When Kyoya appears in front of you as well, you begin to suspect maybe he put the Host Club King up to the mild kidnapping he’s just committed.

"I have no idea Tamaki-Senpai.” Your words send the blonde into a predictable fit of despair and it becomes clear to both you and Kyoya that he will no longer be an active part of this conversation. The two of you are more than used to tuning out Tamaki’s breakdowns so it’s easy to pick up the conversation without his involvement.

“It’s in your best interest to tell us everything you know (Y/N).”

“They told me not to get involved. I’ve learned to trust them when they say that.” You can tell your answer hasn’t pleased the megane but you can’t really find it in yourself to care much. If the twins told you not to get involved, you’re more than happy to let whatever this is blow over without it affecting you as well. Since you’re not a host and whatever they’re doing doesn’t affect your classes together you’re more than happy to watch from the sidelines. If it truly is just a means to an end like Kaoru said it was, you can’t imagine whatever they’re doing will last longer than a day or two. “I’ll see you both at the club after class for my usual appointment.”

It’s only when you’ve started to walk away that Kyoya responds to your statement in a monotone voice that somehow feels more calculated than usual. “If things continue the way they have been, we might be unable to fulfil your usual appointment. We’re down a pair of loving brothers you see.” You stop walking at his final words, turning on your heel to face him.

“What do you mean?” Your question, plus the blank look that appears on your face, instantly brings Tamaki out of his fit as he looks at you with an expression you can’t quite read. You place it somewhere between bewildered and perplexed but there’s another part of it that you find yourself disliking.

“Haven’t you heard? Hikaru and Kaoru are fighting.” It almost feels like the world stops spinning for a few moments as you process Tamaki’s words. The problem is that the world starts spinning again and you can almost feel the system error taking place in your mind as you wait for the blonde to tell you he’s joking. When Tamaki doesn’t rescind his sentence you feel the first prickle of anxiety starting in the back of your mind.

“They don’t fight.” Tamaki merely blinks at you owlishly.

“They’ve been fighting since yesterday. It started at the club.”

"If they were fighting, I would know."

“Is it possible that you don’t know them as well as you thought?” Part of you knows that Kyoya doesn’t mean his question to sound as harsh as it does but it still stings somewhere deep inside you.

The twins might not have fully opened up to the host club yet but you know them. There’s no way they could be fighting; there’s no way you could’ve misread the car journey that badly to miss some sign that there was disharmony between them. They’re never fought in all the years you’ve known them.

“I’ll guess we’ll find out after classes are over.” Your tone sounds more defeated than you’d care to acknowledge and you’re quick to turn away from the two hosts before you spot any kind of pity growing in their expressions.

It’s almost a relief when your free period starts and you can spend your time as you wish. Normally you’d seek the twins out, or vice versa, but something about your earlier conversation with Tamaki and Kyoya is replaying in your mind and the idea of sitting and stewing in a crowded library sounds like the worst thing on earth. You find yourself walking through the grounds of the academy, hoping some fresh air and sunlight will do something to improve your mood. It almost works until you hear a loud shout from behind you.

“Hey! (Y/N) wait!” You start to quicken your pace when you hear two sets of footsteps coming up behind you but it’s not long before Hikaru and Kaoru catch up to you. They come to a stop a few paces behind you, waiting for you to turn around and face them. The bright colours of their hair make you feel sick.

“What gives?”

“Yeah, why’d you ditch us?”

“I don’t know what you’re doing, but you need to wrap it up soon.” It’s clear your comment isn’t what the twins were expecting from you when they flinch back at your tone.

“What're you talking about?" You narrow your eyes at them.

“Your means to an end. Whatever the end is, I hope it’s worth it.” The way the two of them look at each other when you speak sends a wave of irritation over you that you rarely feel towards your best friends. It feels like they're in on some joke that you've been left behind on and you don't enjoy the feeling.

"Don't be like that."

"Yeah, it's not a big deal." Hikaru's blasé tone does nothing to soothe your irritation.

"Kyoya seems to think it is. He also seems to think I don't know you well enough to notice that you're fighting." Your words get the first serious reaction from the twins as they look at you with an unreadable expression on their faces.

"When did Kyoya say that?" Hikaru's tone is cold and you can't tell whether that's directed towards you or Kyoya. Or both. Maybe both.

"During your little display at lunch. Him and Tamaki pulled me out of the dining hall to try and work out what the fuck is going on."

"He had no right to involve you."

"Yeah, it's none of their business."

"Actually it's entirely their business if it directly affects the host club. Which it seems like it has since Kyoya’s cancelling appointments.”

“It’ll be over soon, we told you.”

"I don't know why you're pretending to fight, but I want no part of it. You told me you didn't want me involved and I was fine with that but now I am involved and I want out."

"We didn't mean for this to happen to you."

"I know."

“We’re sorry.”

“…I know.” Kaoru is the first to approach you, waiting for your reaction. When you don't take a step back, he approaches and pulls you into a hug. His brother is quick to follow and the three of you spend the next few moments entwined in silence. You listen for their breaths and even your breathing so that you're all in sync.

Their synchronicity is an ability that is as innate to them as breathing and it always feels special when they let you in for moments like this. It's only when your breathing is completely in line with theirs that you begin to untangle yourself from their arms. The events of the day feel like they’ve hit you with full effect and you’re left feeling weary.

"I'm going to go home. I'll see you tomorrow." The twins let you go without protest, the weight of their gaze heavy on you as you walk towards the main building of Ouran. After muttering some excuse about feeling unwell, it’s not long before you’re in your car on the way back home and it’s all you can do to put the events of the day behind you.

When you wake up the day after, you’re honestly not sure what to expect when one of your maids tells you that the twins' car has pulled up to take you to school. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, in fact it'd be more unusual if they didn’t, so it’s not hard to see that your maids are confused by your hesitancy to go to school. You climb into the car and sit in your usual seat, barely looking up at your companions as you grab your seatbelt and secure it. It’s only when you look away from the seatbelt that something odd about the energy in the car hits you.

It takes you a few seconds to realise why something feels off. They’ve switched colours. The weight of their eyes on you makes you shift in your seat and the seatbelt suddenly feels far too restrictive.

“Aren’t you worried about frying your hair if you keep changing it?” The smiles that appear on your friends' faces immediately settle your anxiety. If this was some test, you’ve definitely passed it.

“No one else noticed.” In a way, you’re unsurprised by that. The two of them pretend to be each other so frequently that you can only imagine their house staff have long since given up trying to work out who’s who.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel to give people a way to tell you apart only to pull the rug from under them by changing it immediately?”

“We don’t want everyone to know who’s who.”

“Yeah, it takes away from our mystique.” It’s a fair comment, one you can’t refute, but there still seems to be a gaping hole in their logic.

“Some people will still know.” You gesture to yourself as an example, watching as their smiles seem to get a fraction wider.

“Yeah.”

“You'll know.”

“Looks like you do know us well enough after all.” Hikaru’s words take you by surprise. The three of you have never been the type to be overly doting on each other and you’re not sure if you’re reading the situation right.

“You did this for me?”

“Of course!”

“Can’t have Kyoya thinking he knows everything, can we?” Hikaru’s words touch you in a way you don’t think you’d be able to put into words, and as soon as the moment is with you, it’s passed; as is usually the case with the twins.

“So! You missed the craziest love confession after school yesterday…” As Kaoru goes into a tirade about some poor girl who tried to confess to Haruhi, it’s all you can do to bask in the moment of harmony with the two of them.

A/N: I’m kind of obsessed with the concept of the twins having this long suffering friend figure in their life, I think it’s such a fun avenue to go down with Ouran fics.

series masterlist

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

Devil's Snare part.5

Aemond Targaryen x reader

Description: Aemond introduces Y/N to his mother as his betrothed, much to the displeasure of Otto Hightower. The strength of their love for one another is tested by the whispers which spread throughout the court of the one-eyed Prince and his strange choice to wed his handmaiden. All the while, Aemond is insistent that Y/N meet Vhagar.

Previous part

Writer's note: I am so sorry this took so long! I had major writer's block and overthought the hell out of it. Its giving "started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetit" for the people who get that reference 😂. Also wanted to avoid HOTD content when the leaks happened. We finally get the wedding in this part so shout out to @ateliefloresdaprimavera this one's for you! Unsure whether you guys want this to continue into the dance of dragons plot, I might need to diverge from canon. I thought I'd do a Lord of the Tides part next as a test run.

Warnings: female reader, canon typical misogyny, slut shaming, Granny Vhagar (in the flesh this time), sexual innuendo but no smut (sorry, I just don't read it so don't think I could write it well), lengthy as always.

Y/N felt nervous butterflies fluttering against her ribcage as Aemond led her along the halls of the Red Keep to his mother's chambers, grounded only by the feel of his hand wrapped around hers. It was all she could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, so anxious was she of the Queen's response to her son's decision to marry her, a mere handmaiden. But she could not bear to hold Aemond back any longer, not when his face glowed with such happiness. Besides, she did not think he'd allow her to go back on her word now she'd promised herself to him. He'd all but taken her breath away with the force with which he'd kissed her and grabbed her hand to pull her from his chambers almost immediately afterwards in his eagerness. She'd subconsciously halted where she stood, her thoughts panicked and frenzied as she realised the weight of her words and that Aemond really meant to waste no more time in informing his mother, the Queen herself. Aemond, however, was all too impatient to marry the girl he loved. 

Stopping as he felt her hand go limp in his he turned to her, assessing the panic on her face. Suddenly taking hold of her waist, he pulled her against him so that their bodies seemed to melt into one another, causing Y/N to blush a furious shade of scarlet as she felt the contours of his body against hers. Aemond smirked, always pleased he was able to have such an affect over her. "I'm afraid my patience has been entirely spent, my love. I can tarry no longer in making you my wife. I will carry you to my mother's chambers if I must." His hand tightened around her waist, not enough to hurt but enough to make her gasp as she realised he may actually be serious. Strengthening her grip on his hand, she stuttered out a semblance of a response. "That will not be necessary, My Prince." Aemond's eyebrows shot up at that. "I am no longer just Aemond to you?"

Y/N's blush deepened at her blunder, hoping she hadn't offended him in her state of nervousness. "I am sorry, my love. It just slipped out."

Aemond's face softened and he lightly trailed a hand across her face. "You have not called me that before." Y/N realised he was right. Aemond was so free with his affections, with terms of endearment, but this seemed to be the last layer of intimacy she had struggled to breakthrough. Y/N looked down, somewhat ashamed that she had been so slow to offer Aemond the love he gave so freely in return, feeling strongly that she did not deserve him. Her chin was tilted upwards by a gentle hand as Aemond brushed his lips against hers, the ghost of a kiss. "It matters not what you call me, only call me yours and I should be content." Y/N felt such a strong surge of love for Aemond in that moment, in light of his understanding of her difficulty expressing affection and his unfaltering patience with her nonetheless. She felt her nerves dissipate a little, and grabbing his hand more resolutely she led them from his chambers herself.

Aemond had been pleased Y/N had gone willingly, he had not been jesting when he told her he'd carry her to his mother's chambers. He knew that she loved him and it was only the opinions of others that concerned her, and Aemond could no longer allow such unfounded fears to delay their union. He wanted her and by the grace of the Seven she wanted him too. That was all that mattered to him now, and he was prepared to fight for the girl he loved, from any opposition they may face. Aemond strode purposefully towards his mother's chambers, having no care for the lateness of the evening, but slowed as he felt Y/N's grip loosen oncemore, looking back to see her tailing behind him. Sighing, he lowered his torso to meet her eyes. "Y/N I will put you over my shoulder. Unless you have decided you will not have me after all?" He hated the tinge of insecurity that laced his voice.

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes wide with alarm. "That is not what I want. I wish to be your wife. I am only frightened of meeting your mother."

Aemond took hold of her elbows. "I assure you there is nothing to fear. She will love you in time as I do. I will not allow anyone to come between us."

"You sound so certain."

Aemond shot Y/N a roguish grin. "You can depend upon it. Come now." Reclaiming her hand he pulled them down the final corridor which led to his mother's chambers, addressing his mother's sworn protector before they'd even reached the end of the hall. "Ser Criston, I would speak with my mother."

Ser Criston's eyebrows pulled into a confused frown as his eyes flitted between the Prince's serious expression and the hand which clasped his handmaiden's. "The hour is late, my prince. Her grace is presently engaged with the Hand of the King."

Aemond startled slightly before schooling his features into a mask of calm, not wishing to alarm Y/N any more. He had not expected to contend with both his mother and Otto Hightower this night, but it mattered little. He had no intention of backing down on the matter of his marriage to Y/N, whatever the opposition.

"It is no matter Cole, my mother will be gladdened by the news I bring her."

Aemond was not certain of this fact, but he assumed an air of self-assurance nonetheless as he released Y/N's hand to pat Criston on the shoulder, pushing the door to his mother's chambers open.

His mother's eyes snapped up to him as he entered, Y/N shuffling in behind him whilst lightly clutching onto his tunic. He discreetly reached behind him to take hold of her free hand, hoping to provide her some degree of comfort. His mother looked flushed as if she had just been shouting and his good eye immediately sought out the object of her distress, landing on his grandsire Otto whose expression was one of irritation. Aemond narrowed his eyes at the scene before him, clearly he had interrupted an argument. He loved his mother and had never forgotten how she had been the only one to speak up for him and defend him on driftmark when he had lost his eye. Fixing Otto with a stern glare he returned his gaze to his mother. "Mother, I wish to introduce you to my betrothed. I have asked Y/N to marry me and, happily, she has agreed to become my wife." Aemond spoke with finality, he would not prevaricate or draw this out any longer than he needed to. An eery silence followed for an agonisingly long time before Alicent rose to meet Aemond, hands reaching out towards him. He regretfully released Y/N's hand to take his mother's proferred hands. She spoke softly as if to a young child who needed to be coaxed away from doing something dangerous. "Aemond, she is your handmaiden."

"She was my handmaiden, she is my lady now."

Alicent shook her head and closed her eyes, as if when she opened them again the image of Aemond and his handmaiden would only have been a figment of her imaginings. When she opened them and observed her son's determined expression, she blanched. "Aemond, you cannot mean to marry a servant. You are a Prince of the realm and you know it is your duty to marry for the benefit of the crown. I'm sure your handmaiden is lovely, but she is not a suitable marriage prospect."

Aemond's own tone sharpened. He misliked his mother talking as if Y/N was not standing right behind him, her own hand tightening on his tunic.

"Mother, I did not come to argue with you. The matter is settled. I love her and will marry no other. Would you deny me this happiness I have been fortunate enough to find, after all I have lost?" Aemond began to hope his mother was losing her resolve as her eyes softened, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek. But it was at that moment that Otto hightower broke his silence. "Will you truly entertain this nonsense Alicent?"

Then turning to Aemond, "Are you so foolish boy? Or have you got the girl with child? There are other ways of dealing with this than sullying your title with a marriage to a low born girl." Alicnet had to push against Aemond's chest as his face contorted in anger, taking a step forward towards his grandsire. He practically snarled in response. "I will not suffer insults to my betrothed or allow you to taint her honour with your vile assumptions."

Otto's anger only rose to match Aemond's as he shouted back at him. "It would be an embarasment for your family, for your House, for the crown itself. Do you care for nothing but your own base desires, boy?"

Aemond's voice was dangerously low and seething. "My love for Y/N is pure, there is nothing base about it. I'll thank you to watch your words, grandsire. I intend to serve my House dutifully with Y/N at my side. Am I not our House's strongest sword? Do I not ride the largest and most ancient dragon in the world?"

Seemingly writing Aemond off as a lost cause, he looked around the Prince to the girl cowering behind him. Perhaps she might be swayed to sense.

"Girl, you must know that this would be a disastrous match for the realm. I am sure you must feel something for the Prince. Would you not then see him ascend to his rightful position and marry for the good of the realm?

The girl's face turned disconsolate. Aemond lost his composure entirely, brushing past his mother and advancing on his grandsire, each word laced with venom. "Do not speak to her as if she were just an object to be dispensed with when it is no longer of use."

Otto's eyes flitted back to the girl, ignoring his nephew's attempts at intimidation. He was sure Ser Criston would intervene if it came to violence.

"What will you take to renounce this farcical pact? A girl like you should want for security, the path you tread will offer you only strife and judgement. Will you take coin, jewels, an elevated position perhaps?"

He watched his nephew's reaction closely for any sign he would strike, coiled as he was like a viper.

Instead, he saw his nephew's face crumple and his good eye widen. Mayhaps he feared the girl would take him up on his offer.

Looking back to the girl, Otto was startled by the fierceness of the glare she now levelled at him. She'd only seemed a timid creature moments before, easily malleable to his will. She took determined steps forward until she stood next to Aemond, taking his hand in hers. Looking steadfastly up at Otto, she spoke for the first time with an air of confidence he had not expected from her. "I love Prince Aemond and I will not abandon him, whatever you offer me." His nephew's face softened as he gazed down at the girl, perhaps he had not expected such a reaction from her either. Before Otto could incite Aemond enough to strike him, Alicent intervened. "Aemond, we will discuss this further tomorrow. I will have separate chambers prepared for Y/N. She cannot be permitted to continue in service as your handmaiden if these are your wishes. It would continue to raise questions." Alicent knew her son. He was determined and unlike to make a vow he did not mean.

Aemond smiled at his mother, pleased by her softened resolve, though she still looked unconvinced. "Very well Mother, thank you. I will see you on the morrow." Lightly pulling Y/N with him he quickly strode from the room, not stopping until they had passed along several hallways and were far from his mother's chambers. Halting without warning, Y/N almost bumped into him before he caught her, wrapping her up in his arms and leaning his head down to rest against her shoulder.

"Thank you, my brave girl."

Aemond had felt a deeper scar than the one he bore upon his face begin to heal over as Y/N had affirmed her love for him, standing up to the Hand of the King himself to remain at his side. He could not put into words how much her actions had meant to him, knowing how difficult it must have been for her to do so. He cursed himself for believing, just for a moment, there was a possibility of Y/N taking Otto up on one of his sordid offers, so used was he to being the second choice as the second son, and even then it was only Rhaenyra his father truly cared for. He knew how inherently good Y/N was, how she returned his love, and decided his faith would never falter again. Releasing his hold on her he slid his hand down her arm before interlocking their hands. "Come, I will walk you back to the servant's quarters for tonight. Tomorrow you will have more adequate chambers fit for a princess."

Y/N lightly swatted at Aemond's chest. "Aemond, it would scare the servant's half to death for a Prince to show up unannounced at this hour. Rumours will run rife. And I am no princess."

"I do not care, my love I wish to walk my betrothed safely to her door. Besides, you shall be my princess shortly and I wish you to be treated as such. I would shower you with jewels if you would allow it."

Y/N blushed, looking down at the ground. "I have no need of extravagant gifts, Aemond. You know I have always managed quite well with my room in the Keep and with less before that."

Aemond frowned, his heart dropping at the thought of the hardships Y/N must have faced whilst his every need was tended to in the Keep. "I do not like to think of you suffering any deprivation." Y/N squeezed his hand comfortingly. "It was not so bad, I was very lucky to secure a position in the crown's service at a young age."

Aemond tucked a tendril of hair behind Y/N's ear, smiling softly at her and humming as if in thought. "Well, if you will not take jewels, I will need to find another way to express my adoration for you, little one."

Aemond made good on his promise, and everyday a squire would arrive at Y/N's newly appointed chambers to deliver a bouquet of bluebells to her door. Y/N had no idea how Aemond was managing to get hold of so many bluebells, aware as she was that they did not grow within the grounds of Kings Landing, but she adored them and her heart fluttered at the Prince's thoughtfulness. He had heeded her previous rejection of jewels, but he sent her gifts he thought would be more acceptable to her instead; books he thought she might like to read, as thanks to him and Helaena this had become a favourite past time of hers, new gowns in the colours of his House, which made the prospect of their marriage feel more real to her, that she really would be his lady. But it was the flowers that made her feel closer to him as her abrupt change of circumstances meant she could no longer spend time with him alone in his chambers, and she missed him when he was attending to his duties during the day.

She would have been bored out of her mind if not for the company of Helaena who was only too happy to receive her as a sister. She spent the better part of her days in Helaena's chambers, either playing with the little Prince Jahaerys and his sister Princess Jahaera, or discussing her upcoming nuptials with the Princess Helaena. Aemond came to see her at least once a day when it was permitted in his sister's chambers, or she would come to watch him in the training yard. But she misliked the stares she received and found herself seeing Aemond less and less as a result. The Queen had tentatively consented to her marriage with Aemond, despite the Hand's open distate, but she had not spoken to Y/N since. She was all too aware how the Queen and her father saw her as a burden to the Prince, to House Targaryen. As such, the wedding was set to be a small affair, which suited Y/N's shy nature. Though she did hope that in time she might be able to bond with the Queen if she truly saw how happy she and Aemond were together. What mother would not wish their son to be happy?

Rounding a corridor on the way to Helaena's chambers, Y/N heard giggles and muffled whispers, halting in her tracks as she heard the repeated refrain of Aemond's name.

"The Prince Aemond...marrying his handmaiden."

"With child, surely?"

"It is a wonder she is not frightened of him with that scar."

"I could not do it."

"Perhaps no other ladies of the court could stand it?"

She struggled to discern the nature of the conversation between the three ladies of the court, only picking out bits and pieces at first. But when she pieced it together she felt her blood heat as outrage rose up within her.

Before she could think through her actions, Y/N stepped out from behind the wall which concealed her and stormed towards the three ladies who glanced up at the heavy tread of her steps. "You should not speak of the Prince in such a manner. Have you no shame, no respect for the Crown?" The lady closest to her scowled, shifting her raven hair over her shoulders as she upturned her nose at Y/N. "Who are you to presume you can dictate what we should or should not discuss? This is a private conversation."

Y/N was sure she must resemble Vhagar, though she'd never seen the she-dragon, with her own flames pouring forth from her in the form of her heated cheeks. "I am the Prince Aemond's betrothed you speak of. I will not allow you to sully the Prince's name with your false rumours or distasteful remarks about the scar he bears through no fault of his own." The raven haired lady's tone turned mocking then. "So you are the handmaiden then? How dare you talk to your betters this way? Know your place girl."

Y/N's fists clenched unconsciously. "My place is beside the Prince, or defending him from ignorant people like you who would insult him over something entirely out of his control. I must refute your cruel assumptions. The Prince is a noble warrior, a fierce dragon rider, and a dedicated scholar, deserving of your respect. Greater still, he is kind and a gentleman, and I do not fear him in the slightest. Any lady would be lucky to receive his affections and it is my good fortune that he has decided to bestow them on me, though I am but a lowly handmaiden as you say. This only speaks more to his character, that he is able to see past the physical appearance of things, unlike certain members of this court."

Chest heaving, her breath coming in short pants as she finished her tirade, Y/N glared at the three ladies, daring them to speak another word against Aemond.

The raven haired girl took a step towards her, a clear attempt at intimidation. "Be careful girl. You are not wed yet. Who knows how long you will have Prince Aemond's favour. The love of a Prince is a fickle, fleeting thing." When Y/N only continue to scorch her with her glare, the three ladies stalked away. Y/N could feel herself still trembling slightly in her anger at the insults levelled at Aemond. She had never stood up to anyone, her naturally timid nature and status as a servant did not lend themselves to such agency. Though she felt a sense of satisfaction in having done so in defence of the man she loved.

Alicent Hightower had been making her way to her daughter's chambers when she came across the odd sight of the girl, Y/N, squaring her shoulders and raising her voice to three ladies of the court. Shocked at first that she should be so brazen, she stepped forward to intervene, quickly relenting once she approached close enough to hear the nature of the girl's tirade. Instead, the Queen felt her heart warming to the girl as she heard her passionate defence of her son, beginning to understand the depth of Aemond's feelings for the girl. No one save herself had ever defended him so steadfastly. And Alicent could admit that even she had been somewhat lax in expressing her affections for Aemond. This girl clearly loved her son, unconditionally so, and Alicent could not but help to feel grateful to her for this fact. She loved all of her children and wanted them to feel safe and loved. The King barely took note of Aemond, no matter how hard he tried to embody the traits of a true Targaryen, whilst he revered Rhaenyra's plain featured bastards. It was an insult to all decency. In that moment, Alicent resolved to accept this marriage fully and try to bond with the girl, Y/N she reminded herself. Aemond deserved to be loved and she would defend his right to marry the girl should her father or husband express any further opposition.

Aemond was surprised to be summoned to his mother's chambers that evening, she spent the greater portion of her time with Helaena and rarely sent for him. Though he often wished she would show him more affectation as his mother. He grew concerned she wished to talk him out of his engagement with Y/N, already having tentatively expressed her apprehension to the match to no avail. He would not hear anymore on the matter if that were the case.

"Prince Aemond, your grace."

"Thank you Ser Criston."

Aemond entered his mother's chambers as Cole announced him, back ramrod straight and hands clasped behind his back.

Hi mother waited until Cole had shut the door behind him before taking both his hands in her own. "I wish to talk to you on Y/N, Aemond."

"Mother..."

"No, let me speak my peace. I wish only to tell you that I approve of your marriage to the girl and give you my blessing. I will defend your choice alongside you should the need arise again. Though I believe your grandsire has written it off as a lost cause and you well know your father's condition."

Aemond squeezed his mother's hands, hardly believing such a change could have come about so suddenly. "I thank you, Mother. May I ask what has prompted you to change your opinion on Y/N?"

Aemond felt the love he had always wished for from his mother as she smiled warmly up at him. "You'll be pleased to know your betrothed is not so timid as she seems. I came across her defending you quite passionately against three members of the court today. She would hear no insult to your name or your intentions towards her, and made her love and respect for you abundantly clear to the three ladies...and to myself. I confess myself greatly moved by her love for my son."

Aemond felt pride rise within him at Y/N's defence of him and his love grow for her if that were even possible. Taking his mother's hand to place a kiss upon her knuckles, he released her to go and thank his lady. "My heart is gladdened to hear of it mother, and grateful for the affect it has had upon your own. I will bid you goodnight now."

Y/N jumped at the sound of a knock at her chamber door. The hour was late and she had been preparing for bed. She was not entirely certain she should be opening the door in her night dress at this hour but did not wish to be rude if it were a matter of importance, a summons from the Queen herself even. Y/N had barely taken the lock of the latch and opened the door before she was unceremoniously crushed to Aemond's chest, shrieking as she was lifted into the air and spun until her back met the door as he quickly swung it closed, shushing her as he did so. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck reflexively, though she knew he would not drop her. "Aemond what in the Seven..?"

Aemond silenced her with a kiss that took her breath away as he continued to hold her against his body. Melting into his kiss, Y/N tangled her hands in his hair, not caring anymore for the abruptness of his greeting. Pulling away so they could catch their breath, Aemond gently set her down though he kept a hold on her waist. To Y/N, his face looked ethereal in the soft glow of the candle light as he smiled at her.

"I apologise for startling you, my love. I did not wish anyone to see me enter given the lateness of the hour."

Y/N was half dazed by Aemond's proximity and the tingling sensation on her lips from when he'd kissed her, but she willed herself not to just stand gaping at him. "And what brings you to my chambers at this hour?" Her tone was light and teasing. She had missed him and was glad he'd come to see her whatever his reason.

Aemond stepped closer towards Y/N before bringing his lips to her jaw. Y/N gasped softly, but pulled him closer to her instinctively as he kissed down her jaw and spoke against her skin. "I came to thank you for defending me. My mother spoke of it to me."

Y/N's eyes fluttered closed as Aemond began to kiss her neck but tried to maintain a degree of composure to respond to him. She had not been aware of the Queen's presence at the time. "I did not like to hear others speak badly of you. They do not know you as I do." Y/N lifted a hand to stroke his hair as Aemond hummed in response, planting a kiss against her clavicle just above the neckline of her night gown. Her eyes flew open as she realised for the first time that she was, in fact, only in her night gown and the situation was less than appropriate. Pushing Aemond back slightly by his shoulders she tried to keep her voice quiet so as not to alert anyone who might pass by to Aemond's presence in her chambers. "Aemond, I'm only in my night gown!"

Aemond looked confused that she had only just realised this. "I'm well aware, you look beautiful."

Y/N blushed scarlet. "That's not what I meant. But if we're seen together like this, people will think..." She trailed off, hoping Aemond would understand her concerns without her having to spell it out.

Aemond grinned at her. "I only wished to thank my lady for defending my honour. Having done so I shall depart forthwith. I will be discreet." He took Y/N's hand and pulled her with him as he quietly opened the chamber door, glancing around for any signs of movement. Quickly turning to bid his lady goodnight with a final peck on the lips, he shut the door behind him and hurried back to his own chambers, unable to contain his smile as the image of Y/N's flushed cheeks and hair mussed from his ministrations swam in his mind.

Y/N shivered as a cold breeze blew through the courtyard of the Red Keep, blowing whisps of hair into her eyes, which she quickly brushed away. Aemond had asked her to meet him that morning for she knew not what, but the presence of the horse being saddled by a young squire by the steps of the Keep entrance concerned her somewhat.

"Y/N"

At the sound of her voice she looked up to see Aemond taking the steps three at a time to meet her, immediately wrapping an arm around her waist to kiss her as he reached the bottom.

"Good morning, my love" He pulled back to smile at her, the biting cold of the crisp morning seemingly having no affect on his mood. She supposed the blood of the dragon spared him.

Placing a hand against his chest she realised she was right as heat seemed to radiate from him whilst she stood there shivering. "Good morning, Aemond."

Taking hold of the hand that was on his chest in both of his, Aemond began rubbing his hands up and down hers "Your hands are cold. We should head off while the skies remain clear." With that he began pulling her towards the horse, just as she'd feared. She'd never ridden before and could foresee embarassment just at the thought of mounting the horse. "And where are we going, Aemond?"

Without stopping Aemond called back to her over his shoulder. "To visit Vhagar. It is important to me that you become acquainted." Y/N blanched, she'd expressed her interest in dragons early on to Aemond, they were almost like gods to her, but also her fear of them...and Vhagar was the largest and fiercest of them all. Aemond had taken to mentioning Vhagar with increasing regularity to her and she should have realised this was inevitable. His grip on her hand was tight and carried with it a sense of finality. Sighing and accepting her fate, hoping the dragon wouldn't cook her on sight, she asked the other question that was on her mind.

"Why do we have need of a horse to see your dragon? The dragon pit is within walking distance, is it not?"

"Vhagar is too large for the dragon pit. She resides on the outskirts of the city."

Y/N gulped. Aemond was always so nonchalant about his fearsome dragon, as if she were a friend to him rather than a fire breathing beast. She could not be so calm about the danger.

As Aemond released her hand to take the reigns of the horse from the squire, she looked sceptically at the saddle. Before she could make a disastrous attempt at mounting the horse, warm hands lifted her by the waist onto its back. Aemond followed swiftly, positioning himself behind her.

Y/N blushed as Aemond reach around her to take the reigns, encompassing her in his arms as the horse broke into a canter. His breath tickled the hair by her ear as he leant his head on her shoulder. "Relax." She realised she had been sitting stiff as a board, tilted forward, and leaned more fully into him, her back pressing against his chest. She felt a sense of security in Aemond's arms, even as she want to meet a dragon, his warmth seeping into her.

Aemond smiled as he felt Y/N shift closer to him, basking in her proximity and how far they had come for her to be so comfortable with him now. He'd been bemused at the look on her face as she'd approached the horse, tentatively placing her smaller hand on the saddle. He doubted she had any or at least very little experience with horse riding. Lifting her up onto the horse himself and wrapping his arms around her to take the reigns, he thought to himself that he should have invented an excuse to do so long before.

They fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by Y/N's gasp as what she'd thought had been a huge mountain moved and lifted its head, seemingly sensing its rider's approach. Not a mountain...Vhagar.

"It is alright, Y/N. She will not harm you. I am here."

Bringing the horse to a stop a safe distance away from the she-dragon, Aemond jumped down before turning to lift Y/N down. Vhagar was looking inquisitively at them and Y/N feared she was wondering whether Aemond had brought her a snack, though she was also awestruck by the sight of a real dragon before her. "Stay here a moment, I will calm her before I introduce you."

With that he approached the large dragon as if she were only a small dog, speaking softly to her and patting her snout when he was close enough.

"Lykirri Vhagar, dohaeras."

Y/N felt her lips quirk up in an involuntary smile and her cheeks heat at the smooth, low tone of Aemond's voice as he spoke in High Valyrian. She had not heard him speak it before but found it unspeakably attractive. Y/N could not understand what Aemond was saying, but whatever it was seemed to have a calming affect on the she-dragon as she rested her head back on the ground, not even looking at Y/N anymore. She could not school her features before Aemond looked back at her, returning to her side and looking down at her questioningly. "I do so love to see you blush, might I inquire as to the cause on this occasion?"

Y/N wanted the ground to swallow her up at his directness, but as she began to turn from Aemond to hide her glowing cheeks, he only took hold of her elbow and turned her back towards him. "There is no need to be embarassed, Ñuha prūmia." As her blush deepened and she squirmed away from him realisation dawned on Aemond's face, and he graced her with a knowing smirk.

"Ah, I see."

Y/N felt the need to explain herself, but only managed to stumble over her own words. "It is only that I like to hear you speak in Valyrian, it has an elegance to it. I mean to say that I find the sound of your voice comforting. Wait, that sounds worse." Flustered she placed her head in her hands, hearing Aemond chuckle softly as he prised her hands from her face. "I am glad you like the sound of my voice, my darling, and I'll speak to you in High Valyrian more often if it should please you.

Brushing his hand over her blazing cheek he brought his face low to speak against her ear, his voice barely above a whisper.  "Iksā gevie, Issa jorrāelagon."

A shiver went down Y/N's spine, though she did not understand the meaning of the words. "What does it mean?"

Aemond pulled back, his smile widening at her physical reaction to his voice. "Do you truly wish to know?" Y/N narrowed her eyes in suspicion at the cunning glint in Aemond's eye, resolving to just ask Helaena later. She hoped it was not anything too crude. "I'm suddenly not so sure I do." Aemond patted her cheek affectionately before taking her hand in his. "Come then, I wish you to meet Vhagar. She is calm now. It is safe."

Interlocking their fingers, Aemond gently pulled Y/N towards Vhagar until she was close enough to touch the she-dragon. Pulling their joint hands up, he placed Y/N's palm on Vhagar's side. The Prince observed Y/N's face switch from one of trepidation to a look of of wonder as he smoothed their hands down the tough surface of Vhagar's scales. His dragon was not perturbed in the slightest, a relaxed hum reverberating through her as she huffed out soft tendrils of smoke.

He knew that Vhagar could feel the great importance the girl beside him held for Aemond, could feel his love for her, through their shared bond. And as such she would not harm her. But it warmed his heart to see the two great loves of his life interact. His bond with Vhagar had been the most important connection in his life before he met Y/N. She was his only friend, their bond with one another unequivocal, unbreakable. Introducing Y/N to Vhagar felt like baring the most essential parts of his soul to her. He hoped that Y/N might even agree to a ride with Vhagar in the future as she grew more comfortable with his dragon, and his heart raced with excitement at the prospect. There was no feeling like riding high in the skies, as if touching the heavens, nothing so pure as the trust between a dragon and it's rider. Aemond wanted to experience this with Y/N in time.

Y/N allowed the Queen to manage preparations for her wedding entirely, grateful there would only be a small wedding feast afterwards. The Queen had been nothing but warm and welcoming to her since she'd witnessed Y/N defending her son so vociferously. Y/N would be forever grateful to Helaena for teaching her the basics of dancing and only hoped she would not embarass herself too greatly, though she was excited at the prospect of dancing with Aemond. There was only one matter she had a strong opinion on, and that was her dress. One conversation with Helaena had convinced her that her dress should be blue. The Queen had seemed unsure at first, the common colour being white, but did not see the harm if Y/N was adamant.

Though Y/N was racked by nerves on the morning of her wedding, she was overjoyed by the way her dress had turned out. The soft midnight blue fabric and the golden detailing shifted elegantly as she moved, and Y/N thought it resembled the night sky. She only hoped Aemond would also like it. Butterflies erupted in the pit of her stomach as she faced the long expanse of the aisle of the Sept, her arm interlocked with the Prince Aegon's.

Aemond's brother had been surprisingly pleasant to her, despite his reputation for being somewhat of a menace at court, and had offered to walk her down since she had no surviving male relatives of her own to do so. Searching Aemond out, she felt her nerves settle somewhat at the sight of him, handsome garbed in his ivory tunic and with a soft smile upon his face as he took her in. Taking his hand in hers, Y/N felt a wave of calm rush over her at how their hands fit together, as if made for one another. Her feeling of contentment, of pieces falling into place, only intensified as they spoke their vows and Aemond placed a cloak embroidered with the colours of House Tagaryen over her shoulders.

The wedding feast itself passed with little ceremony, including only a small gathering of nobles. Aegon had sunk into his cups early into the evening and managed to make a fool of himself drunkenly pulling Y/N about the room in the semblance of a dance, insistent that he should "welcome his new sister into the family properly" before she was rescued by her husband. Her heart fluttered at the thought as she placed her hands on his shoulders and he pulled her close to lead her in the steps of the dance. Aemond did not much like to dance, but that night he did for Y/N and found he did not mind so much when it was his wife he held in his arms rather than the simpering noble ladies that had been thrust upon him at feasts before. As the hour grew late and Y/N felt herself growing overwhelmed under the watchful gaze of the courtiers, they made to retire to their chambers. Aegon had just barely spoken the words "bedding ceremony" before Aemond fixed him with a glare so fierce he immediately quietened and went back to his cups.

Shutting the doors to their shared chambers, his heart warming at the thought, Aemond's smile fell as he turned to see his wife anxiously wringing her hands and shifting from one foot to the other. He gently gripped her shoulders. "Are you well, my love?"

"I confess I am a little afraid." Realisation dawned upon him. It was not uncommon for ladies to be concerned about their wedding night, but he did not wish his wife to be.

"You needn't be. We do not have to do anything. I can just hold you."

Aemond's felt a surge of guilt at Y/N's still uneasy expression, he hated to think she felt she had to do anything she was not yet comfortable with out of duty. It was more than enough for him that she was now his wife. He wished her to understand that he would never force her, or pressure her for anything more than she would allow.

Gently taking her hand he purposefully pulled her away from the bed to the chaise in the centre of the room. "Come, sit and talk with your husband a while."

He hoped if he continued on as they normally would, Y/N would feel less nervous. Keeping hold of her hand in both of his he turned to her, mouth quirked up in a conspiratorial smirk. "You have been thoroughly inducted into House Targaryen now with all its foibles. I hope Aegon's fool hardy behaviour did not alarm you too much. I must warn you that I will not allow myself to be parted from you even if it did."

Aemond felt his heart warm at her laugh, hoping she was beginning to feel more comfortable. They talked for a while before Y/N suddenly quietened, her expression sheepish. Aemond squeezed her hand gently, concerned that his wife might be afraid of him by the way she was looking at him. Her next words quickly dispelled that thought. But they instilled in him a different fear entirely, causing him to stiffen as she tentatively raised a hand to brush against his cheek, along the strap of his eyepatch.

"May I see you without your eyepatch, husband?"

Aemond caught her wrist, halting her movements, his voice laced with an admixture of shame and fear he had carried with him since he had lost his eye. He had gained a dragon, the largest and fiercest in the world, but he had been irreparably maimed for it. It was an act of violence that had changed the way people looked at him ever since and he could not bear it if Y/N should look at him with disgust or horror, or shame. "It is an ugly thing, my love. Not for the faint of heart."

"It is a part of you, Aemond. I will not judge you for it. I wish only to look upon the face of my husband, who I love dearly."

Aemond closed his eyes briefly, trying to control the erratic beating of his heart as he sought a way to distract his wife from her current train of thought, to disway her from her wish to see what lay beneath his eyepatch. He did not know if he could part with this layer of armour, the fear of rejection palpable in the air between them.

"I do not know..."

Y/N cut him off before he could give his excuses.

"If you will not show me, will you tell me how it happened? If it is not too painful. I know that it was your nephew Lucerys who was to blame." Aemond was surprised by the biting tone of his wife's voice as she spoke the name of his nephew. But he was grateful for the escape she had offered him and so he told her everything. Of how he had so oft been an outcast, jeered at by his brother and nephews when his dragon egg failed to hatch. He told her of how they'd mocked him with the promise of a dragon, only to present him with a pig. He told her of how he'd tried to offer his nephew Jacaerys comfort upon the death of Harwin Strong, of how he'd been rebuked and sought out Vhagar. How he'd claimed the largest dragon in the world, and how he'd lost an eye for it.

All the while Y/N stroked the side of his face, his hair, her eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowing at each painful memory Aemond recalled. When he'd finished, she pulled him to her, his head coming to rest in the crook of her neck. "I hate that you have suffered so much at the hands of those who should love you. I wish I had been there for you." Aemond felt his heart seize, unused to such care, such devotion to his well being. "I do not wish to distress you, my wife. I am perfectly content now."

Y/N huffed. "I always want you to feel comfortable telling me about these parts of yourself Aemond. I would like a word with your nephews though" she grumbled out under her breath. Aemond let out a hearty laugh at that, clutching his wife tighter to him "Perhaps it is not Vhagar my enemies should fear, but my fearsome, protective wife. I have long since forgiven Lucerys, it is his lack of punishment that has always pained me, rather than the act itself."

Y/N pulled away from him to look into his face, cupping his cheek where his eyepatch rested. "Then you are a better man than most."

As gratitude for his wife's care washed over him, Aemond felt that he did not need to hide from Y/N anymore, that it might be a relief for her to see him as he truly was without the fear of her reacting negatively. She had not judged him at any moment for his scar or as he told her of the misfortunes of his childhood. Had she not been the one to mend the very eyepatch he now wore upon his face the day they had met, knowing what it meant to him? He trusted her fully, and would show her as much.

"I do not mind if you wish to see it, my love." Taking strength from the warmth of his beloved's hand he placed both their hands atop the strap of his eyepatch and slowly removed it from his face, leaving only the sapphire where his eye should have been. He closed his good eye, not wishing to see his wife's initial reaction, aware the sight was ghastly and harrowing for most. The soft touch of her fingers down the line of his scar grounded him, reassuring him that she was not disgusted with him. She did not despise him.

"It is beautiful, Aemond."

Aemond snapped his eye open, looking at Y/N as if she'd lost her mind. "Beautiful? I expected you to shriek or faint at the sight of it. You are always surprising me Y/N."

"I think every part of you beautiful, the sapphire compliments you well. Why did you think I had a blue dress made? It is not the common colour for a wedding gown."

"You had your dress made to match me?"

Aemond spoke slowly, each word latent with barely repressed emotion.

Y/N nodded eagerly. "Yes, Helaena told me of your sapphire. I know it is not common knowledge but I thought it might please you."

Moved by his wife's sweet gesture, Aemond pulled her towards him so she was halfway in his lap, one hand holding her head to his chest.

"I worried you would hate me for it, that you would come to regret tying yourself to a man with such a deformity when you are perfection itself."

Y/N pulled back from him then, all seriousness as she considered how best to show Aemond that his scar did not make him any less in her eyes, that she love all of him.

"I could never hate you, and it does not frighten me. If anything I only love you all the more for allowing me to see you this way, for trusting me. And as to me being perfect, I assure you it is only you who thinks so and I most certainly am not."

Leaning over Aemond, Y/N placed a trail of kisses along the length of his scar, pulling away to rest her hand on his cheek. "You will always be the most handsome man to me. My brave husband."

Y/N lowered herself from her position leant over him until she was straddling Aemond, his hands moving to her waist to keep her secure as he gazed up at her in awe. Bringing her lips to his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself as close as she could to him. In the comfort of his arms and with the feel of his lips on her, Y/N realised she had never felt so safe, so seen with anyone as with Aemond, and her previous worries dissipated. She parted her lips, allowing Aemond to deepen the kiss, before reaching one hand down to take hold of Aemond's.

He did not oppose her as she moved it from her waist to place it on her collarbone, slowly moving it down her chest until it rested over her breast. She heard Aemond's breath hitch but steeled her courage as she continued to move her lips against his, all the while trailing his hand down her torso, her hip and finally her thigh. Aemond pulled away from her then to look into her eyes, seemingly searching for any doubt. "Are you sure, my heart?"

Y/N had never been so sure of anything in that moment as she was of her love for Aemond and his love for her. Bringing her hands up to his shoulders she pressed her lips to his forehead. "Yes."

Aemond smiled tenderly at her, his voice soft as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Avy jorrāelan." He knew that she would understand what that meant from the tone of his voice. Pressing her closer to him still, if that were possible, the prince crashed his lips against hers.

Valyrian translations:

Avy jorrāelan~ I love you

Iksā gevie~ You are beautiful

Issa jorrāelagon ~My love

Nuha prumia~ My heart

This might be the prettiest a man has ever looked. I was in shock your honour.

Also. How the fuck did he do this????!!!!

@zoetje2004 @jjkysnk @ieieibhibu8 @skymoonandstardust @truly-abysmal @idonotknowenglish @leonesimp @hyacinthesiss @nanawaffles @callsigncrushx @bitchyfestivalbouquet @void21 @sapphiresandferrari @pinkykats-place

@lportes-22

@superintenseart @youknownothingjohnwatson

@misspinkonmars @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[kerrslvr]

reward // mary earps

summary; in which, after she wins SPOTY, you give mary a reward like no other.

warnings; dom!mary, sub!reader, cocky mary, cunninlingus, fingering, mary loves to manipulate reader into saying i love you, strap-ons, grind pads, reverse cowgirl, spanking, daddy kink (blink and you'll miss it), nipple stimulation, fluff at the end. probably missed some warnings and probably made typos, sorry. also… take this as a christmas present. merry christmas u filthy lesbians x

pairing(s): romantic mary earps x scott!reader, platonic jill scott x sister!reader (r is about 24/25 in this… mary & jill are their current ages at the time of writing - 30 & 36 respectively)

based on this request x

"this is live on the BBC and you're wearing a dress with a slit that deep?"

the frown in jill's voice was clear as you stepped out of the taxi and into the chill of the manchester air, the immediate swarm of camera flashes turned your way.

"can tell you're getting old," you replied as you adjusted the skirt of your dress, "you're starting to sound like mum."

your oldest sister was not amused by her likening to your mother. shelly couldn't make it to the spoty ceremony, and seeing as most of jill's friends were going anyway, she'd invited you. originally, you'd been invited by the company you work for, but being a sports journalist in-training, they'd found someone more qualified than you to do the job; and jill didn't like that.

"just make sure your dress doesn't malfunction and cause headlines tomorrow," she said, waiting patiently for you to catch up as you scurried along beside her, "otherwise mam'll have a breakdown."

you shrugged your shoulders at your sisters worry, you weren't wearing the dress for her, or the cameras. there was only one person you were wearing it for, and you could see her in your peripheral vision, stepping out of her vehicle, dressed to the nines in what can only be described as a revenge dress on you.

she spotted you instantly, your pretty hair and your not-so-innocent eyes and the way they twinkled as they met hers across the carpet. your dresses almost matched, the gaping neckline, the peeks of skin through the lacy mesh, the long black skirt.

you had to fight your jaw so it didn't drop to the floor, and it seemed like everyone else around you also had to fight their urges. people screamed mary's name and you struggled to keep your composure as you and jill eagerly waltzed over to see her.

"i'm so proud of you," jill sqeaked eagerly as she wrapped her arms around mary's shoulders. the look she gave you when your sister wasn't looking almost let your knees give way. "and you look lovely."

"very similar to your sister, come to think of it, jill," mary pointed at your dress and scanned you up and down, "minus the obscenely high split."

you cursed mary with a knowing look before jill turned to compare. if she found out you and mary were frequent flyers in each others beds she would probably wring you out herself, let alone your mother.

"i was just about to compliment you, earps," you shrugged off her devilish eyes and knowing smirk, "but i think i'll just keep my mouth closed."

the two of them did press for a little while, and you watched from the sidelines, admiring mary's demeanor. you couldn't remember how long ago everything started between you and mary, although the euro's final was the first night you spent entangled between her sheets. you didn't even know you were into girls - let alone mary - when you first started sleeping together, and at first, that's all it was, until it wasn't.

she started picking you up from the station, inviting you to games, date night after date night, after date night. one morning things changed and you both realised there were painfully strong feelings of love underlying, but she was thirty and you were twenty five, and she was your sisters best friend, and you were a sports journalist. you both knew how bad it looked.

but, the feelings of love outweighed the feelings of lust, and that was the worst part.

"don't you fancy asking me some questions then, love?"

mary's voice lulled you from your daydream, and she met you in a less crowded corner of the carpet. you could see jill mingling with leah and jen, the three of them chatting politely while they waited for mary to finish up with her interviews - at least, thats what she told them.

"surely you've had enough of questions, mary."

she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and let her hand rest on your shoulder. the heat from her skin on yours sent burning flashbacks rushing through your brain.

"maybe i have," she leaned down and tilted up your chin with her fingers. even without her heels on she towered over you, but with her heels on she was even taller, nearing six foot, and it made you squirm. "but i've not had a single question from the person i want to speak to."

you couldn't help but let a smile come to your face, and mary admired your fluttering eyelids, "and who might that be, earps?"

mary's thumb traced your lip, and you couldn't help but pucker your lips. "i think you know exactly who it is, princess," she laughed, and for a moment, she thought about kissing you, but she wanted to have her fun tonight, "you can unpucker those lips and ask me your first question."

you sighed and looked at her with soft eyes - of course she was in one of those moods tonight. mary got off on you when she put you in these situations, it drove her absolutely insane. "don't you want to kiss me in public?"

mary rolled her eyes and leaned in, her lips pressing against yours softly as the breeze of manchester air blew across the two of your bodies. a storm was coming, and the chill sent goosebumps across your skin, mary's too, but she was much better at composing herself.

you wanted to deepen the kiss, to outstretch your arms and pull her closer, to guide her hand up into the slit of your dress, but you knew better than to draw attention to your escapades.

mary was first to pull away, and the pink hue of your lipgloss had tainted her light brown. it was a sight to behold.

"better?"

"hm," you shrugged, "what do you plan on doing if you win the award tonight?"

"finally a question i can answer without lying," mary hummed, "if i win tonight i'm going to be taking my girlfriend back to my hotel room, and doing many, many inappropriate things with her."

you shivered at her words, and had to fight the urges running rife inside your bloodstream.

"oh, really?" you questioned, a raised eyebrow. jill noticed you two were standing together in a quiet corner, "and what do you plan on doing if you don't win?"

"oh, well, lets see," mary faked a thought, and you spotted jill walking towards you both with an excited grin, "oh, yes, i'll be taking my girlfriend back to my hotel room and doing many, many appropriate things with her."

you couldn't help but blush, and you opened your mouth to reply but jill stood in your way. "ceremony's gonna start soon, we really should think about going in, Y/N," she gave you a questioning look, silently asking if you were okay, and you nodded. "they want you for a few more pictures, mary, we'll see you in there."

jill was quiet as the two of you walked behind leah and esme, and you were petrified she would bring up the question and ask you what's going on between you and her best friend, and you didn't have an answer.

"she's your type," she said after a while, nudging you with her shoulder, "mary, i mean, not the girl you were telling me about in the car earlier. mary's the best, hilarious, good with her hands -"

"okay, jilly, thanks," you hit her on the shoulder, "i don't need you to play matchmaker, especially not with mary earps, now c'mon, my heels are killing me."

*

mary couldn't quite believe she'd won the award, and as the night lingered on, her body consistently kept gravitating towards yours. you didn't mind, it seemed everybody in the room kept themselves occupied, if they weren't pulling mary away for five minutes, they were mingling with each other.

jill noticed you and mary spending more time with one another than what she thought acceptable as two people who don't know one another all that well, and she knew she ought to bring it up, but when you began to say your goodbyes approximately ten minutes after mary did at almost midnight, her intuition kicked in.

"leaving already?" she asked, coming up to you before you could show up in front of her, "you and leah are almost always the last two on the dancefloor singing shania twain, or... do you have something better to do?"

you knew that look, the look she was giving you. it was the look she always gave you when she was disappointed you didn't tell her things, like when you failed your driving test and told her you'd passed just so she'd let you drive her new car, or when she'd swung open your bedroom door when you were nineteen to find you in bed with your first boyfriend, much to her disgust.

"if you're galivanting off to sleep with mary, i don't mind," she said, brushing the hair out of your face, "i've watched the way she's looked at you all evening, i noticed the brush of her hand on your thigh and the way you look up at her. i don't mind, y/n, really, i don't."

you knew mary would be on her way to the hotel by now, if not, already there, waiting for your arrival. as much as you wanted to spill your two and a half years worth of secrets to jill, you couldn't bring yourself to do it in this moment.

"then why do you sound so disappointed?"

"i'm not disappointed, i just wish you'd tell me," she ruffled your hair and kissed your cheek, "i'll see you at the buffet for breakfast, and please, for the love of god, stick a do not disturb sign on mary's door."

you slipped into a taxi, and within fifteen minutes you were knocking at mary's hotel room door, and the time it took her to answer the door felt like forever. she swung it open, only so you could see her from the neck up, but you could tell by the angle in which she was standing that she was hiding something.

"took you long enough, love."

"i could say the same for you," you replied, watching mary as her eyes trailed right down to your exposed leg, the slit higher than she remembered, "what're you doing in there?"

she smirked, simply allowing the door to swing open, and when it did your knees almost buckled again. your eyes weren't really sure where to look, it seemed the lace top of her dress was detachable from the long black skirt, and there she stood before you in a lacy bodysuit which made your mind reel.

this was far from the mary you knew, usually with her hair in a messy pony, more often than not, a face with faint green stains of grass, and the familiar smell of either the pitch or the training room, her dominance unrelenting.

although she was in a lacy black bodysuit, the latter statement about her dominance still stayed the same.

"are you just going to stand there gawking, or are you going to come in and let me get my reward?"

you stuttered, struggling to get the words to travel from your brain to your mouth. it was too late for you to answer, though. mary had lost her patience, and she pulled you in and - for lack of a better word - you slammed into the nearest wall.

mary kicked the door and her lips devoured you as if she hadn't kissed you for months, her hands struggling to find a place to rest. your hands settled on resting around her shoulders, your heels giving you just enough of a height boost to be able to stand in that position comfortably, your lips moving together in perfect harmony.

mary's hands found a place to rest on your hips, but she wasted no time in parting the split in your dress and letting her hand explore. a blush crept its way onto your cheeks when she clocked that you weren't wearing underwear.

"oh, sweetheart, really?" she pulled her lips away from yours and gave you that look, the one that accompanied the 'you're not smart, so don't act like it' talk, and you gave her your best innocent eyes, "no underwear, sweetheart, why's that?"

"because you told me not to," your voice was shaking as you spoke, "last week, you told me i couldn't, y-you told me if i did that you wouldn't be very happy."

mary pushed the split in the dress apart and the fresh air touched your cold pussy, sending goosebumps across your skin. it was even worse for you when she knelt down, the heat from her breath juxtaposing the goosebumps and sending your skin into overdrive.

"have i ever told you how pretty of a pussy you have, darling?"

"once or twice," you pushed the hair from her face so it didn't tickle your skin and push the goosebumps further, "but you can tell me again if you - oh."

mary couldn't help herself, her eager tongue needed to taste you. she licked along your slit as you spoke, and reduced your words to a slur of moans. she parted your legs further and scooted closer to your body until you were practically sitting on top of her face, her tongue slipping further and further into your folds.

"i should be the one d-doing this to you, surely," you hummed, hoisting your dress across your hips and allowing her much easier access to your pussy, "you have just won the best award in your career to date."

mary pulled away and you could see her chin glistening with your wetness, causing her makeup to go patchy. her fingers traced the space that her tongue had just been, circling your hole teasingly in only the way she could.

"yes, i have, and you can keep stroking my ego by telling me that again as you take off your dress," she raised an eyebrow, halting the movements of her finger until you did as she asked, "but, your pussy is my reward and i expect to get as much of a reward as possible this evening, do i make myself clear?"

"y-yes," you nodded, allowing your dress to slip straight down your frame until it pooled at your ankles, showing your naked frame to the woman kneeling before you, "i understand."

mary's finger slipped inside of you, albeit ridiculously slow and with nowhere near enough friction to make you cum, but it felt great nonetheless.

"you're such a good little girl for me, aren't you, y/n?" she asked, stretching you out with another finger and curling her fingers in an excruciatingly slow come hither motion, "leaving the afterparty like i asked you to, following me back to my hotel room so i could look at this pretty pussy and hear those innocent little moans all night," she kissed your clit softly and it sent a fluttery feeling scattering through your stomach, "anyone would think you love me, darling."

you opened your mouth to speak, and right as a word began do leave it, mary added a third finger. the stretch was painful, but delicious at the same time and you bunched a hand in her hair, fighting all your urges to cum all over her fingers. she smirked, "cat got your tongue, sweetie?"

"oh, fuck," you hissed, "fuck mary your fingers feel unbelievable."

"that's not what i was looking for you to say, angel, but i'll take it."

she smirked again, this time her lips pursing around your clit and causing a long, breathy moan to tumble from your mouth. the feeling bubbling away in your stomach grew with each flick of her tongue, each curl of her fingers, and it left you a wriggling mess.

you knew what she was waiting for you to say, her body was practically fizzing with the anticipation of hearing you tell her you loved her. it was her new favourite sound of yours to get off to, and she had plenty; but something about your voice was so soft, so subtle.

neither of you ever anticipated it would turn into this, loving each other, you weren't even sure how to love somebody. you both thought that hiding the relationship would be much harder, but it was significantly easier than you realised, less pressure, less worry. and mary didn't ever want you to stop saying it.

"you know you're not allowed to cum until you say it, darling, so you might as well get it over with."

"i love you, mary," every single time you said it, the words slipped out of your mouth easier than any other words ever did, and you hated how much it affected you both. "i love you, now, please - f-fuck - make me cum."

the smirk on mary's lips was unfathomable, and her fingers stretched you out deliciously as she continued to fuck you with them, desperate to stretch you out so she could slide her cock inside you. she stood up, her free hand wrapping itself around your neck instinctively, temporarily halting the bloodflow to your lungs as she squeezed in rhythm to her thrusting fingers.

"you really wanna cum that badly, huh?" she asked, lips scraping your ear with every word, "said you loved me twice in one sentence."

you were unsure whether mary was in a mood nice enough to let you cum now, and while you craved it desperately, you were there for her pleasure this evening, not the other way around.

"god, m-mary, please just let me cum, p-please," you choked, "i-i know you're gonna want my pussy nice 'nd wet, so p-please let me cum."

the noise mary made was akin to a growl, and she sped up the movement of her fingers, moving the angle so her thumb was rubbing your clit frantically. your legs threatened to buckle and you locked your hands around mary's neck, a moan tumbling from your mouth as a trail of her spit lingered on your bottom lip.

"god, not so fuckin' innocent now, are you? can't believe i found myself such a naughty little girl," her teeth nipped at your earlobe and she noticed the bead of sweat trickling down your forehead. "are you going to stand there moaning or are you going to cum for me, little one?"

the use of your favourite petname sent your head spiralling, and with that, your legs shook and your entire core tensed as your orgasm peaked. mary's name fell from your lips and she couldn't help but groan as your wetness flooded her fingers, trickling down her knuckles and the palm of her hand, and the sound of your release was music to her ears.

as mary pulled her fingers out of you, she gave you time to breathe, despite the look of disapproval on your face now that you weren't full. you watched her tongue slide across the skin of her palm and it made you feel dizzy.

"look at those little puppy eyes, my love," she held her fingers out in front of your mouth and let you suck them clean, "how could i ever say no to that face?"

your eyelids fluttered as you tasted yourself on mary's fingers, and when you licked them clean they pulled out of your mouth with a pop. she slipped her arms out of her bodysuit and you watched with eager, desperate eyes as it fell down her hips and to the floor. your eyes almost bulged out of your head at the sight of mary naked, it never felt real.

"what do you want, sweetheart?"

"hmm?"

"i know that look, it's the look you give me when you want to ask a question," she gave you the smirk again, "so, ask me the question."

"i, uh," you straightened yourself up, "i thought as your reward you could let me ride you."

mary leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, "oh, my darling girl, you can't ever be without my dick inside you, can you?"

you shook your head sheepishly, and mary said nothing as she walked to the bed around the corner of the room. there, on the corner of the bed, lay mary's favourite toys. a strap and its harness, lube and her grind pad, which was a lifesaver when she fucked you. it meant she could feel every sensation, and cum when you did.

"why don't you get my pussy nice 'n wet, darling, hm?" she tucked a curl of hair behind your ear, "and then we'll think about letting you ride my cock, okay?"

nodding, you sunk to your knees and steadied yourself between her legs. she was already preparing the strap harness, fiddling with the grind pad and waiting in anticipation for you to taste her.

she shivered when your tongue made contact with her clit, allowing herself to soak up the feeling by pausing her movements and letting a hand rest on your head.

you did exactly as you were told, getting her pussy nice and wet by smearing your spit all across her clit. she pulled you off, your enjoyment of eating her out short lived, but mary knew if she let you carry on a minute longer she would cave to her instincts and let you eat her.

"if i don't fuck you within the next five minutes, i think i'm going to die," mary hummed, "so please, my love, wait patiently for my cock."

as you sat and waited, you reached down to take off your stiletto's, but mary stopped you.

"don't you dare," she stood up, tightening the loops on her harness and leaning down, "you know how much i love fucking you in heels."

she sat back down on the bed, pulling you down - not completely, just so you were leaning over her frame with your hands on her thighs - and pulling you in for a kiss. it was hot, searing, and your hand instinctively pumped at the lube until you got enough to stroke the strap up and down, soaking it in the liquid so your descent would be easier.

mary groaned as if she could feel the friction through the strap-on, and it made you whimper.

"do you want me to face front or back?" you asked, pulling away for air. the answer was clear when mary's hand came down hard on your arse, the sting brutal but desperately needed. she rubbed the spot she slapped before repeating the action sequence multiple times.

"as much as i love looking at your pretty face, and that insane rack," mary chuckled, "you know i'm an arse girl, love."

you hummed, shifting your body and allowing her to get into position on her back. a whimper left your mouth when you saw her pumping the cock with her hand. she patted her upper thighs, a silent signal for you to lower yourself down, and as you got into a comfortable position, you threw your head over your shoulder and gripped the base of her cock with one hand.

the noises you made as you sunk yourself down on her cock were like music to mary's ears. the grind pad gave her the perfect friction, and as she grunted while you rocked to get comfortable, it felt as if the whole notion of you riding her dick were real.

"c'mon love," she pinched your hip, "don't have all night to waste rockin' back and forth on my cock, you know what i wanna see you doing."

"mhm," you slowly began to pull your hips up from the base of her cock, "yes daddy."

your reply earned you a slap to the bum as you sunk back down, and a sharp moan left your lips. "say it again, love, just once."

"y-yes, daddy."

slap.

"one more time," she stroked the reddening cheek with the palm of her hand, "for daddy's sake."

"yes, daddy."

slap.

mary let out a deep grunt, throwing her head back as you began to bounce up and down to a solidified rhythm, your knees already beginning to ache but this was your reward for mary, and she was not going to take over unless you collapsed from an orgasm; but with her grind pad in use, it was only a matter of time until mary's orgasm crept up on her anyway.

with every bounce of your hips, the pad stroked at mary's clit with a perfect amount of pressure, and a perfect angle, that everytime you pulled up she would whimper, or draw a sigh of relief that her orgasm hadn't hit her yet.

"fuckin' hell, love," she slapped the other cheek this time, "you really do have the most perfect arse, don't you?"

she couldn't help herself, her fingernails digging into the skin of your hips as she began to raise her own off of the bed, fucking up into you and watching your arse ripple with each thrust of her hips. your moans grew louder, unable to control your noise as you gripped onto mary's ankles.

she bent her legs at the knee to help take the weight off of your legs, allowing you to rest on her thighs a bit more. the change in angle of mary's legs changed the deepness of her cock, and it was so deep inside you now it almost made you feel sick.

she reached her hand around your waist so her fingertips brushed your stomach, "can you feel my cock in your stomach, baby? hm?" she waited for you to nod, and her fingers lowered to your clit, "want you to make yourself cum all over my cock, darlin', can you do that for me?"

"not gonna last much longer, mary?" you questioned with the little sarcasm you had left in you. a loud smack echoed the bedroom, and you immediately regretted your question.

"say something stupid like that again and you won't cum at all tonight," she pinched your stinging bum, "understood?"

"yes, mary."

she sat herself up now, so your back was pressed flush against her stomach, and instinctively you wrapped your arms around her neck. the angle of her legs changed again, spread out ever so slightly on the bed so she could hold her balance within her core.

with this angle, mary's fingers were able to pinch at your nipples, and you were so caught up in the feeling of rocking back and forth, and the sound of mary's moaning that you completely forgot you were supposed to be rubbing your clit.

"don't see much going on with your fingers, love," she teased, "please don't make me pull out of this tight little cunt now, and just do as i say, hm?"

you nodded, your index and middle fingers immediately circling the bud of nerves that had you whimpering immediately. mary's lips traced your neck, and without even giving you time to complain, her teeth sunk into the skin and softly nibbled. mary's tongue soothed the burn of her teeth on your neck right as she dragged her fingers under your nipples, making you yearn for an orgasm.

you could tell she was close, her core was beginning to become lose and her legs were beginning to twitch, and your orgasm was on the cusp.

"m-mary-"

"-wait," she breathed, her lips trailing back up to your ear, "wait for me, love, 'nd we'll cum together."

"i-i don't know if i can hold -"

"-you can, and you will," she pinched your nipples, "i'm close, but the longer you talk, the longer this will take."

you nodded, biting down on your lip to fight the urges of begging. a few more rocks of your hips and mary would be toppling over the edge.

"oh, fuck, Y/N," she hissed, "ready to cum all over my cock?"

you nodded aggressively, a feeble 'yes' tumbling from your mouth in a desperate attempt to cum. mary stilled when her orgasm arrived, allowing your hips to do the friction work against her clit, your name falling from her mouth in a desperate groan.

her noises triggered your orgasm, and as much as you tried to ride your way through it, your hips stilled and your fingers on your clit carried you the rest of the way through. you didn't even clock that mary had moved her hands to your hips so she could steady you, and her lips kissed soft lines along your shoulders.

"i'm never going to get over that sound," she said, her hands moving from your hips to around your waist, hugging your body close to her, "i can't believe you're mine."

you managed to wriggle from her grip and lay down against the pillows, with mary following suite. her body cocooned you from the cold air, and her hands resumed their position across your waist.

"i can't believe you're mine," you repeated her words, and turned your neck to the side so you could kiss her nose, "but, i, uh, i think jill knows about us."

the look on mary's face didn't change. in fact, she was relieved she didn't have to hide you anymore. she wanted to show you off, and she was thankful it was almost out in the open now.

"i don't care," she hummed, "maybe it's a good idea for us to get it out in the open now, we've been doing it long enough."

"i like that idea," you spun your whole body around in her embrace at this point, and the smile on your face told her all she needed to know. "i'm so proud of you, maz, nobody deserved to win tonight more than you, i love you."

a heartwarming smile came to mary's face, and you relished in the way you still made her cheeks blush.

"i love you too, darling," she kissed your nose and nuzzled her head into your neck.

"now please, lets get under the covers because i'm freezing my tits off."

[user9298274001127482]

Are you gonna break up with me?

pairing: bf!matt x gf!reader

warnings: slight angst, resolved ending, fluff

a/n: reader is also youtuber/influencer like matt

a one-shot where matt and y/n have been together almost 4 yrs and he starts cancelling plans with her a lot….

7:00pm

You were at your apartment sitting on your bed watching modern family on the TV. Your boyfriend was coming over to stay the night after what felt like months, he said he would be over around 7 but you just assumed he might be running late.

You were glad that he finally could hangout with you today since he had been cancelling plans so often recently and you hadn’t seen him in 2 weeks which doesn’t seem like much but you and Matt would usually hangout like 4 or 5 times a week.

8:15pm

You were so caught up in watching TV you didn’t even realise what time it was. It had been over an hour since Matt was meant to be here so you decide to send him a text.

Matt ❤️

| Hi baby is everything okay? Why aren’t you here yet?

| seen 8:21pm

He had left you on seen, these past few weeks you have been suspicious of him avoiding u and suddenly being so busy but you and Matt had been together for nearly 4 years. He would never cheat on you or do anything to hurt you.

Or would he? Why did he leave you on seen? Does he want to breakup?

9:30pm

Part of you had still hoped that miraculously he would walk through your bedroom door and give you a perfectly honest explanation as to why he was late and then everything would go back to normal.

But part of you also knew that there must be a reason why he is avoiding you, although you weren’t sure what it was, you weren’t gonna spend all night waiting for him in case he decides to show up.

You sadly start getting ready for bed, putting on your pajamas and brushing your teeth. You stay up watching TV for a few hours.

11:45pm

You hear footsteps and turn your head to the bedroom door and see Matt standing there, the most neutral look on his face, you couldn’t make out whether he was angry, felt guilty or if he just didn’t care.

You stand up as he steps into the room, still not speaking a word he attempts to pull you into a hug. You dodge his hug because how could he act like everything was okay? “Where have you been?” You raise your voice.

“I just got caught up in some stuff” He shrugs using the same excuse he used everytime he cancelled. “What stuff did you get caught up in, Matt? I want answers I’m tired of you avoiding me” you slightly yell.

“Oh my fucking god, not everything is about you y/n, your not my only priority I have a life besides being with you 24/7” he yells while rolling his eyes. I have a life besides being with you his words cause tears to well up in your eyes.

“We haven’t seen eachother in weeks, you keep cancelling plans on me and not answering my calls, what’s going on Matt?” you quietly say with a shaky voice. He looks at you with sympathy in his eyes, a look that makes you think he’s going to apologise.

But instead he grits his teeth and says “It’s too much y/n, I feel like we need some space”. Tears well up in your eyes even more but you don’t let them fall because you don’t want Matt to see, “Are you gonna break up with me?” you say looking away from him because if you look into his eyes you’ll breakdown crying.

A pause of silence, you can see his sad face from the corner of your eyes before he yells again “I don’t fucking know what you want from me!”. Matt storms off, slamming your bedroom door in the process. The second he leaves the tears fall down ur face, your cheeks being drenched. You were always a quiet crier so you don’t worry about Matt hearing you on his way out.

12:00am

A few minutes later you start putting away the pile of clothes on your bed with tears still running down ur face. You get startled when your bedroom door aggressively opens, it’s Matt. He doesn’t look at you face but he comes in and touches you shoulder “Y/n I…” he pauses when seeing your tears dripping down ur face.

Now he looks as if he’s about to breakdown in tears from guilt of making his girlfriend cry. He pulls you into an unexpected hug, your chins rested on eachother shoulders. “Fuck I’m so so sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry” he says with a shaky voice, although you couldn’t see his face you knew he was crying too. “What kind of boyfriend makes his girlfriend cry” he says.

You gently pull out of the hug and see tears rolling down his face now, you wipe your own tears. ���Matt can we please just talk ……about us?” you softly say, he nods as you both sit on the edge of your bed facing eachother. “Be honest, why have you been avoiding me” you ask. “No, I- It’s stupid” he replies. “Please? I’d rather hear a stupid reason why than no explanation” you say.

He hesitates before speaking, “Okay well all my friends have been asking when I’ll propose to you since we’ve been together so long and I wasn’t planning to anytime soon and everyone told me you’d…”. With a confused look you ask “Everyone told you I’d what?” “They told me you’d break up with me if I didn’t propose soon and I thought they were right so I’ve been avoiding you cause I was scared of you leaving me” He shyly says.

“Oh matt, we’re both only 21 of course I’m not gonna break up with you if you don’t propose soon. We’re both not ready for that yet but I still wanna be with you until we are ready” you say in sadness that Matt thought you would leave him. “Yeah I realise that now, I was being a dick I’m so sorry y/n” he says with eyes glued to the floor. You lift his chin up so his eyes are meeting yours, “It’s okay I forgive you Matt but please don’t ever do that again I thought we were gonna be broken up” I say.

“I’ll make it up to you I promise, I’ll do anything you want” he genuinely says. “I just wanna watch modern family with you and cuddle and fall asleep in your arms and kiss you” you blabber. “Okay fine” he kisses you on the cheek.

12:15am

You both settle into your bed, your face buried in his neck with his arms tightly wrapped around ur back and waist. He occasionally gives you a kiss on the forehead whispering “I’m so sorry” to you as you lift ur head up and kiss his cheek every now and then.

1:00am

After a while you start getting tired and are half asleep, Matt thinks you’re fully asleep and doesn’t realise you can hear him. He keeps kissing your hand and whispering sweet things in your ear.

“I love you so much” “I’m so sorry” “I’m such a dick I know” “Your the best thing that’s ever happened to me” “I love you more than anything”.

[choccy-milky]

(SPOILER WARNING to people who haven't read your story) I SWEAR to GOD!!!! This is borderline anon-hate with my current state of mind after finishing The Raven and The Snake over this weekend. I finished it in two days. I'm a mess. I've even started making a playlist because I feel like I can't properly enter reality again. I'm supposed to be writing my bachelors thesis right now,,,, what have you done to me!!!!

I loved it so so so much, and I am very mad I cannot have a collectors edition hardback version of it on my shelf. There are many many moments that keep replaying in my head, and scenes that I saw so vividly when reading through it. The first imperio moment and Sebs shadow and imperio-green eyes as Clora was held captive, and the entire scene in the repository and how I was physically shaking as I slowly realised that Seb had made a fucking horcrux, and when it was CONFIRMED the GASP i GUSPED. It was so perfect, and so very Sebastian; because OF COURSE he made a horcrux (lowkey hot, sue me).

And the scene where Clive realised Seb straight up just died for his daughter without knowing he would be back, oh my dear lord.

And the idea of Seb being seen as a 'Ruffian' and that little mamas boi bitch of a Henry thinking his hand-me-down-riches, muggle ass would be preferable to a powerful wizard. I secretly wished they didn't have to keep magic a secret so Henry could have known just how inferior he was. AND SEB APPARATING SO FAR UMPH the skilllll.

I could go on and on and on, and maybe I will some other time in your inbox when I have another mental breakdown.

And now I'm also almost done with the small sequel. Just taking a break to bombard you with this unhinged message of mine. And how you draw Sebastian is so fucking good. It's actually what got me reading in the first place. I see your version as being in a completely separate universe from the game, cause the way you draw him just has that something, and it's not the same anywhere else. It certainly doesn't help my obsession that my own boyfriend has the same features and colour palette as him, now I think I might even use your art as inspo for next time we need wardrobe additions.

I love you and I hate you.

Ps. Of course I added Sarah Smiles to the playlist and also Far too young to Die, and Just One Yesterday. If you've any other songs you think match please let me knowww~~

BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FEEL NARCISSISTIC FOR POSTING/RESPONDING TO THIS ASK BC ITS JUST PRAISE BUT DAMN THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH!! FORGET WRITING YOUR BACHELORS THESIS, TY FOR WRITING A THESIS ON WHY U LOVED MY FIC SO MUCH AND ALL THE LIL THINGS U ENJOYED BAHAHAHA (love the henry slander) im also glad u like how i draw seb too, and i love how thats what made u start reading it in the first place BAHAH but fr, sometimes i try drawing seb more accurately to his ACTUAL appearance and then im like... Who The Hell is this... and it may sound arrogant since im the artist but my seb is MY seb, yknow...its why i dont like drawing him with other mc's romantically. bc even tho its like, oh look, that's Sebastian Sallow™ from the hit game Hogwarts Legacy™! in my style if i draw him with another MC, its like, NO!!! THATS NOT SEBASTIAN SALLOW™, THATS CLORA'S HUSBAND🤺🤺THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BOI??🤺🤺🤺 LMAOO but rly TY AGAIN💖💖💖 not only for reading but also taking the time to write all this and let me know how much you enjoyed it🥹🥹i (and all writers, really) always love getting stuff like this!! it also brings me back to when i was writing it, especially now that ive been finished with my fic for a few months, listening to u react to all the diff scenes is making me miss it and giving me nostalgia for my own damn fic FRRR😩 also i love that youre making a playlist LMAOO thats how u know the brainrot truly has a hold on you IM SO SORRY🙏🙏 i actually made a seb and clora playlist like last year and its somewhere in my ask tag if you look through that?? but one song that i can recommend off the top of my head (which i almost made their anthem in that OTP chart) is arms tonite by mother mother...whenever i listen to it i cant help but laugh to myself bc its SO perfect for the chap where seb sacrifices himself....YOULL SEE WHEN U LISTEN😇💖

[whenmemorydies]

Breakdown of a racist microaggression in Ice Chips 3x08

This title is misleading because any scene with Donna in it is likely going to be one gigantic macroaggression of some sort lol but I wanted to talk about this scene in Ice Chips and how subtly but impactfully it was played by all the actors in it:

Recall the beginning of 3x08 Ice Chips. Donna has just done her narcissistic thing in the parking lot of the hospital, ignoring-a-very-pregnant-and-about-to-give-birth Natalie's pleas to "shut the fuck up" and we are now in the hospital room with the two of them.

Donna is continuing to do her narcissistic thing and has begun to regale everyone in the room (which at this point is Natalie and a nurse) with stories about being a mother, asserting herself as an expert on the journey her daughter is about to embark on.

She tells Natalie and the nurse (who happens to be Black) about how badly she wanted to be a mother. She said its because:

I wanted someone to love me the way I had seen.

So yes, alarm bells. Wanting a baby so you can feel loved? Probably not the best reason to bring a whole other person into the world.

Note: Mikey entered the world with so much of Donna's expectations and trauma waiting to receive him like his first swaddle. No wonder he knew from a young age that pursuing a singular passion of his own was not going to happen for him because he had people to look after (recall his discussion with Tina in 3x06 Napkins). Parentified, eldest siblings unite /sob.

But back to Donna, Natalie, the nurse and the hospital room.

Donna then hits us with this curveball - her feelings about the exact parent/child relationships she had seen:

You know, all those smug mothers down at the Jewel, blocking the aisle with their strollers.

Yikes.

Donna is jealous of those mothers. She wants to be one of them. She wants to block the aisle at the Jewel (which a quick google tells me is probably short for Jewel-Osco - a chain of grocery stores in Chicago). She's so resentful of mothers with children, that she calls them "smug" for no other reason than they're probably not yelling at their kids in public (lol, also more yikes). She wants to be smug too. It's almost like Donna doesn't want a child, but what she thinks a child will give her: love she clearly hasn't experienced either as a child herself or as an adult . And also the power to be smug and take her place at the Jewel. Its almost like, to Donna, a child is an object, a means to an end.

But we're not done.

Then Donna says:

Do you know what Gina said to me? Gina fucking said to me - she looked down at my stomach - she says to me,

'You know, Donna, there are lots of good Chinese babies, honey.'

And then Donna turns to the only racialised person in the room, the Black nurse and says:

I mean, can you imagine?

And to her credit, that nurse did not kiss her teeth (she has so much more patience and professionalism than me lmao) but I felt her reaction to my CORE:

The biting of tongue, the looking up for divine intervention to get the person speaking to shut the fuck up, the looking down and pursing of lips when you realise no such help is coming, lmao.

I felt that reaction because I have been in this situation so many times as a racialised person (specifically as a non-Black POC). What is the situation exactly? The situation is a white person making a racist comment or "joke" in front of BIPOC folks in order to feel validated in their racism. The situation is getting BIPOC folks to collude/cosign in racism by doing it in front of them and trying to get them in on the "joke" too. This nurse was not having any of it.

For folks who are unsure about what was racist about Donna's comment: the "Chinese babies" Donna is likely referring to are the wave of Asian-American adoptions (where largely white Americans adopted children from China, South Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia and other East Asian countries) that began during the Cold War. The racism is the exporting of Donna's previously discussed objectification of a child, to the East. If she can't make a baby to fill the emotional vortex of her heart, Donna can buy adopt a "Chinese" one (the use of "Chinese" to refer to a myriad of nations and people is also racist). To be clear: white people treating BIPOC folks as objects to fill their needs and not as humans deserving of dignity and respect, is racist.

And yes, this is Donna recounting what someone named Gina has said to her. Its not technically what Donna has said so she's innocent right? Wrong. Donna is recounting a racist incident in front of a BIPOC person whom she has no relationship with. She's not condemning the racism of her friend so for all we know, she may have the same views as Gina - that Asian babies are fine to be adopted if you're a white woman who's feeling very lonely and just wants a baby really badly. This is deeply uncomfortable. My skin was crawling during this scene.

Natalie, observant woman that she is, clocks the nurse's discomfort right away:

And then Donna says:

The joke was on her. God rest her soul. I was two months gone with Michael at the time.

So we know Donna is not condemning Gina for her racism. She's condemning Gina for assuming Donna couldn't get pregnant on her own. Great. So now we and the nurse have a better sense of Donna's position here (Natalie being Donna's daughter surely already knows her mother's position).

Understandably, the nurse does not take Donna's bait and does not affirm her statements. So Donna doubles down in her condemnation of Gina, trying to get the nurse to affirm her any way, any how.

Natalie can see where this may end up going (when JLC does that upside-down-smile-grimace, even I know this is about to get messy lmao) so, being the well-practised parentified daughter that she is, she intervenes:

Then Donna reassures Natalie and the nurse that she did call Pete and she did leave a message and that everything is good. Still Donna needs affirmation from the nurse (can we talk about white folks needing BIPOC folks, in particular Black women, to affirm and hold their feelings for them? Can we talk about the demands of emotional labour?) so she tries another tactic:

The nurse can see right through Donna's posturing:

But she remains respectful and professional, politely responding: Wow.

(which wasn't as sarcastic in the scene as it might read here lol)

Natalie, like the nurse, can also see that her mother is, in fact, on one:

When the nurse does not give Donna anything more than "wow", she gets visibly pissed off. She pulls a face like "That's it?! Wow? Don't you know how hard it is to walk while being in labour?!" JLC goes FULL upside-down-smile-grimace:

But before Donna can embarrass herself further, she gets interrupted.

By a visibly Asian nurse:

And proceeds to shut the fuck up:

The way I CACKLED at the end of this scene lol.

Anyway, I was rewatching this episode for another meta but as is often the case with this show, something else revealed itself in the rewatch, so here we are.

This scene in Ice Chips is literally only one minute long. But the subtleties of facial expression, the looks thrown, the silences, the script choices were *chef's kiss* for so accurately depicting a racist microaggression and the inherent narcissism of racism itself - above and beyond any other mental health diagnoses that Donna might have. This scene was a perfect example of someone having mental health issues and also doing tone-deaf and racist shit, and how blurry those things may appear when you watch them in action.

As humans, we can have multiple things be true of ourselves at the same time. Donna can be mentally unwell and can say and do racist things. Natalie can love Sydney - an unambigiously Black woman - like a sister and also love her unambiguously offensive (lol) mother Donna. Carmy can love his largely BIPOC staff but then treat them like cogs in a machine at work.

I'm not saying that humans contain multitudes, the end. If some of those multitudes are harmful to BIPOC folks or other groups that face systemic discrimination then it is imperative that we try to change the behaviours we have that are harmful. Donna has work to do, so does Carmy and so does Nat. But I'm also saying this shit is messy and its complex. I just thought I'd point out that 3x08 Ice Chips did a great job of showcasing a bit of that mess and a bit of that complexity.

[mercutio-the-velaryon]

Okay, the Twitter takes are pissing me awfff, so let's get this straight and then never talk about it again.

The conversation between Mel and Jayce in the council room definitely should have taken place at some point. I think it was better suited to have happened at an earlier point, like episode one. However, the conversation itself fell very flat, and its contents failed to properly reflect the issue with Mel and Jayce's relationship dynamic.

In the confrontation Jay asks, with a very fragmented mind, whether she only protected her and Jayce on purpose, she says no, he says I can't believe that because of you using victor and me for hextech and calling us investments.

This accusation doesn't really make any sense, because although her actions and methods were unethical making a business investment out of hextech does not align with the extremities of purposefully not protecting the other in the council room.

Let me be clear, it is blatantly obvious that Jayce only makes this accusation because he has been through the mental and physical ringer. That is part of the reason why I think this conversation should've happened earlier so the real issues could've been addressed. Because now within context, his almost valid criticism is treated as lashing out, and it has to be swept under the rug because we got war the next episode.

Now for a breakdown:

Mel and Jayce's relationship was imbalanced from its inception. He had piqued her political interest from the moment he stood before the council for his unlawful science experiments. She was interested in Hextech from the jump but didn't make it known until she knew it was a beneficial venture. But that wasn't a problem that was the fall of the first domino.

Throughout their relationship, Mel is always one or two steps ahead of Jayce. She leads and guides him to make decisions that she deems necessary to attain the power and influence required to improve Piltover. I believe that she wants Jayce to fully realise his dream of helping the masses, due to her being an empath, she takes on his wants and desires which results in his success mattering more and more to her as the story progresses.

So, she is well intentioned but inconsiderate of the fact that Jayce rarely wants to be where she encourages him to go he just has an unshakeable sense of responsibility. She orchestrates behind the scenes for his benefit, springs investors on him, and advocates for his place on the council, all without any discussion or proper dialogue with he who it does concern. It's kind of funny that she's very considerate of him, but she doesn't consult him on anything. She's already made up her mind when they speak; she goes to convince not to discuss.

Let me very quickly assert that I don't think what Mel does obstructs his autonomy or his own free will, she offers and he accepts and he always has the option not to but he rarely does mainly because I think he's a people pleaser and he also holds Mel in high regard.

Let us also remember that he is an educated man from a House in Piltover with a sponser from the council he is a man of privilege his social status is his largest obstacle to realising his dream because he isn't even versed in the complex issues of the people he's trying to help.

Considering all of this, the conversation in the council room followed by Jayce's non-apology and their subsequent break-up scene that was more a viscerally implied break up than explicity stated (which I think was an odd choice because they'd known each other for years and they just kind of fizzle out) are an ill match to what actually transpired between them.

There was such an amazing opportunity for them to have a compelling dialogue about their relationship imbalance. If it had been more two-sided, we could have had Jayce bring up being used as a political pawn but also bearing the weight of his own choices, and Mel being emotionally closed off and unreachable.

It should have played out like a tennis match until both of them lost. Then, for the break up, if thats what it was, they were still characters who meant a lot to each other and deserved a just goodbye, featuring a little hand holding and Mel pulls away first and then they walk away from each other.

In general, Mel, as a character, endured a lot with little to no triumph or compensation. For example, the next time we see Mel after that she's trying to talk her mother down speaks "out of turn" and ends up getting bitch slapped by her I mean...

And you can argue that becoming the wolf was triumphant. I would say that it was a very bittersweet moment with an emphasis on bitter because that felt like the passing on of a generational curse.

You could also argue that Jayce had endured a lot by that point. Well... yes! He did, and he didn't seek comfort in her. He couldn't. He wasn't asking for it like she was. He also got to die in the arms of the person he loved, man got glorious closure, no notes.

I think the scene with Jayce also revealed how isolated Mel is as a character. In the sense that she feels so separated from the main narrative, like if you culled her entire storyline, it wouldn't change much. She also has no other established relationships of depth among the protagonists, no dynamic with anyone, her final battle is her and Cait teaming up, and they don't really mean anything to each other. Which sounds irrelevant until you consider how inextricably linked everyone else is.

And yes, they were both somewhat Ambessa's heirs in some capacity more figuratively for Cait, but it fell just fell short emotionally especially in contrast to Ekko and Jinx and Jinx and Vi and even Ekko and Jayvik because they're the science buffs and the kid straight out of Zaun with no formal education shattered time. Ugh, now that's a Triumph!

[littlemissstel]

Pit Stop - Shiu Kong

On your way to the mechanics your car breaks down and who better to call then your handler?

SFW, no use of (Y/n), name used is "Doll", not proofread, pre-relationship

dividers by @saradika-graphics

You were feeling good about yourself when you woke up this morning. For some reason your body decided to wake up at 6 am yet you have never felt more rested in your life. You had no jobs today- you didn't need to work for the next year if you wanted to with how much your last hit paid and you finally tried that viral french toast recipe that had been sitting in your "favourites" folder for the last 6 months.

You felt good.

And in your productive haze you had decided that you felt good enough to finally go to the mechanics and fix the irritating engine warning light that had been incessantly pestering you for as long as you had the car...Now especially since another light had just come on.

It was almost time to be re-serviced anyway, so what could go wrong?

"no...no, no, no, no- please no"

You were begging your car as it spluttered back. If it could talk you had no doubt it would be swearing at you right now.

The car moved sluggishly as you pulled over, it wasn't a busy road surrounded by nothing but bushes, trees and discarded litter; and you couldn't help but feel a wave of embarrassment as you came to a stop. Turns out the blinking light wasn't just for show.

"fuuucckkkk"

So what do you do now? You had no one to call...well you should probably start with a breakdown service but then what would you do? Even with your hoard of money you'd rather not pay their prices and, if needed, there's no way a tow truck could fit down these roads.

Going down your list of contacts one caught your eye. Shiu.

He seemed the obvious choice, no? The man drove cars for a living if you take out the other details and you're sure he liked you enough to come get you. Maybe you could persuade him by taking him to get those steamed rice rolls he enjoyed the last time you grabbed lunch together.

The debate in your head could go on forever but, either way, he was your only choice. And so you called, the phone ringing for only a second before he picked up.

"Hello?" his gruff voice was instantly welcomed by your ears.

"Hey, are you free?"

"I can be, why?"

You paused for a moment, sheepishly, before releasing a sharp exhale.

"My cars broken down on the side of-" you looked for a sign, "- in the middle of nowhere. I'm kind of stuck. If you're not too busy can you pick me up? I can send you my location and get someone to deal with the rest later."

"Sure. Be there soon"

"Thank you so much"

And with that the call was finished. Simple enough. You could laugh at yourself for overthinking.

It wasn't another twenty minutes before you saw Shiu's car pulling up behind yours, he came into view wearing his signature suit, though his blazer was discarded allowing your eyes to linger on his broad shoulders. You hopped out to meet him half-way with a grateful smile on your face.

"Thank you again"

"Don't worry about it, you really weren't joking when you said the middle of nowhere though Doll. What were you doing? Having a picnic?" He replies walking over, voice dripping in sarcasm. Believe it or not, you don't have to spend a lot of time with Shiu to realise the handlers sassy personality, just somewhat focused, otherwise you'll miss his double sided remarks.

"No, thank you. I was on my way to the mechanic-"

He stifles a laugh.

"A bit late don't you think?"

"Well it wasn't my intention was it- what are you doing?" you ask as he lifts the car bonnet.

"Checking what's wrong. You have problems with your car and don't think to call the man who works with them?"

"I didn't think you'd want to help me out with something like that...I wouldn't. And it was just the engine light before."

He catches your eye, amused.

"I am hurt Doll."

His arms flexed as he tampered with the car, eyebrows knitted into a subtle frown, he focused- you couldn't help but stare. You had known Shiu was attractive, it wasn't a secret and you were sure he knew it too. You've heard the (watered down) stories he's told you about this twenties and though he jokingly refers to himself as an "old man" he carries enough confidence to show he isn't really bothered by it. You were sure he knew you thought he was attractive too, especially with the amount of times he's caught you staring.

Like right now.

"Doll."

"Yes?"

He walks closer to you slowly with a smirk on his face and you start to feel self conscious with the way his eyes stay attached to yours, not straying for a second.

"Your cars fine...Just low on coolant fluid."

"Right...It did say that..."

He shakes his head.

"Thank you for coming out here though, maybe i could take you to the restaurant we went to last week? As a thank you?" You quirk a brow staring up at him expectantly.

You both stay there for a second, matching each others foolish smiles.

"Didn't know fixing your car would get you to ask me out Doll."

Shiu is my husband.

let me know what you think and please feel free to use my inbox to talk or request <3

[where-dreams-dwell]

I haven’t read the book and only have vague recolections of the movie (though I remember sobbing violently at several points) but I hoped I’d love Netflix’s One Day adaption. And of course I did but one of the things I loved was so unexpected.

I love how they portrayed Sylvie.

Particularly how that relationship both ended and endured. How even at the start there were issues but the small kind you want to work on and work through. She knew her family were hard work but she was on Dex’s side and wanted him to be accepted: but still knew that her opinion was the one that mattered. Dex knew he didn’t fit it but he was trying so damn hard to, and hoped that if he kept trying it would be enough eventually. And she wasn’t this demon or harpy, even people who just met her liked her. She was a nice person.

So many times when the male lead is with another woman before they eventually get together with the female lead this ‘other woman’ is portrayed as toxic, unmanageable, cruel, snobbish, etc… or even just unpleasant to be around; someone we’re happy for the male lead to leave. Maybe it helps us to support the male leads pursuit of the female lead and not confront his poor behaviour as a romantic partner if that ‘other woman’ is unlikable and we’re happy to see her gone?

But here they made it clear: Sylvie is a kind nice woman who loves Dex, and didn’t handle the crumbling of their marriage well.

It was almost voyeuristic how we saw the breakdown of her and Dex’s marriage. It seemed so bloody real. New baby, no sleep, renovating the house, all of it building up until you’re being a bitch and you know you are, and you’re apologising after the fact for what you said but you don’t know how to talk around the fact that you still meant some of the things you said. And a partner who you know is struggling with direction and purpose, and you want them to do well, but *god* you’re the one fielding questions and having to go to bat for them every time someone asks, and as a result you never feel safe to take a break or question them yourself.

And (I don’t know how intentional this was) but Dex’s joking tone which is clearly meant to relax and reassure just came across as him not taking things seriously or being trustworthy. Sylvie lists a whole range of food options for Jasmine while she’s out for the night, clearly showing she has prepped *everything* ahead of time: she isn’t leaving Dex in charge of finding or cooking Jasmine dinner, she’s leading him by the hand to the ready made stuff and telling him now to reheat it. Kind of like he’s a child too. It really shows how capable she feels he is.

And then Dex jokes about giving Jasmine crisps. He’s clearly trying to break the tense atmosphere and joke around with his wife, but it just comes across as ‘I wasn’t listening to you, I don’t realise how much work you’ve done, you were right not to trust me to cook dinner because look what I immediately suggested, you can’t rely on me’.

In all their conversations the tone of their voices just show they’re not sure how to talk to one another anymore, that they know everything they say will be taken the wrong way and so they have no idea how to speak.

It felt like no one was particularly demonised or made into a caricature. Just two people who were different, put under stress until they broke and grew apart. And Sylvie had been responding to this state of her marriage by having an affair, so she is clearly in the wrong there and the one who causes the divorce etc, but… I don’t know; here it comes across more as a plea for help or freedom in the midst of her confusion and less a lack of care or thought for Dex and her daughter (like I remember it coming across in the movies).

Even when they have the brief mention of dramatics and anger around the divorce, afterwards she’s back in the picture as a level headed co-parent: joking around to relate to Emma, sharing co-parenting pains with HER too (‘Jasmin’s learning the violin?’ ‘Yes that’s why we’re fleeing the country’). And genuinely congratulating them in their relationship and marriage.

You don’t see many ex-wives in media who are so openly concerned about how their ex-husband is handling his second wife’s death. She’s present, caring and supportive. And keeps reaching out to him well after she could be forgiven for stepping back.

So yeah I loved all of One Day and yeah it made me cry AGAIN, but I also loved how real they made those significant relationships look. How adult and complicated and messy and ‘no one was a monster/you were both wrong in different ways/there is no right and wrong’ they played out as.

Just because she wasn’t the ‘love of his life’ doesn’t mean she was a footnote either.

[quitealotofsodapop]

I'm just imagining , for a few hours at least, Macaque wondering if he should even try to rescue Wukong from Azure in the Century Egg AU. After all, he was a shitty mate who caused his expecting partner to lose his baby. He knows Azure would never do that, the Lion loves kids, he would dote on Wukong...

Then Macaque hits himself with reality.

Prev.

yess.

In Macaque's mind, all he's done by coming back is bring more trouble with him. Azure on the other hand has made Wukong literally Empress of the Universe. How could he compete?

I imagine that the shadow monkey has a breakdown once all the gang comes together to plan their next move. Sitting listlessly in the corner of Wukong's hut.

Luckily he's in a room full of critics;

Pigsy: "We have to find a way to get him and the kid out of there!" Sandy: "Mr McQuack has shadow powers - maybe he can sneak in!" Macaque, gloomily: "I can't." Pigsy: "What do you mean you can't!?" Macaque: "All I've done for last nearly two thousand years is hurt Wukong. I hurt him when I left him under that mountain. I hurt him when I attacked the Monk. I hurt him with my death. I literally killed our first child! Azure has made him an Empress... all I've done is made him a widow. Ever since I came back, everything has gone wrong!" Tang: "Now thats not true!" Macaque: "IT IS! I helped bring the Lady Bone Demon back to life and nearly destroyed the world! I got Wukong possessed by her! And Wukong nearly died having Xiaotian! How has me being here made any positive change to his life!?" (*Mortal and immortal eyes avoid Macaque's gaze, all but one.*) Tieshan: "Your scarf." Macaque: "What?" Tieshan: "Your red scarf. The one you wore every day for almost a millennium. The one you died wearing. Where do you think it went after the earth took your body?" Macaque: "Why does that-" Tieshan: "What do you think Wukong wrapped himself in when he set out to make his second child?" Macaque: (*struck silent, eyes widening with realisation*) Marshal Ma, steps forward: "She's correct. Wukong made sure to be buried wearing only items that belonged to you. He thought that in some far-off way, both your Dao could survive in the child if neither of you were truly meant for this world." Macaque: "He... what does that mean? Why would he-" Tieshan: "He loved you Liu'er. He still loves you. Even when you hurt him in possibly the worst way imaginable, he still cried for you. He never stopped loving you." Macaque: (*openly crying*) "He... he would have been better off with me still dead." Xiwangmu: "I must understand something Liu'er Mihou - because you seem to not know yourself; why did you come back?" Macaque: "I..." Xiwangmu: (*gives him a stare that could set a inferno*) Macaque: "I... my ears told me that the soul I had taken was to be reborn. Reunited with Wukong. I wanted to be there to protect them both. I didn't know it meant literally returned as his child when I went searching for it." Sandy: "Explains why you tried so hard for him to let your stay then. You both still wanted a shot at having a family together." Macaque: "I did..." Pigsy, furious/annoyed: "You do. Get it into your head, bub! Wukong is stuck in that throne room in the arms of some creep, who could just decide some day to toss the kid off the cloud if he so pleases! Are you just going to mope here while that happens!?" Macaque, invigorated: "NO!" Pigsy: "Then what are you going to do?!" Macaque: "I'm- I'm going to need Bull." Pigsy: "Not the answer I was looking for but ok." Macaque, turns to the royals: "Emperor, my Lady, I must ask I great favour of you." Jade Emperor: "Go ahead." Macaque: "Azure will not stand to let even a trace of my magic inside the palace grounds - but he's been in a fair mood since Peng and Yellow Tusk have been returned to him. If we can play into that sense of camaraderie, we can get someone on the inside to smuggle Wukong and the baby out of there." Xiwangmu: "Consider his sentence null and void in the event that he helps saves my grandson and great-grandson." Tieshan, surprised: "Mother! You don't mean-" Xiwangmu: "Tieshan, currently your husband is my least disliked son-in-law. If he can help us retake the throne and save Sun Wukong, I will welcome him into our family with open arms." Tang, fanboying: "We're gonna release the Demon Bull King!!!" Red Son, appearing in a joyful whirlwind of fire: "YEAH!! Baba will kick their butts!" Tieshan: "AHH! Red Son! I thought I left you with the Ao-Longs!" Both of the Ao-Longs in dragon form: "You did." "He tried to take the baby back himself." Mei, mouth full of feathers: "I bit the birdy!"

Of course this leads to the conversation of who can lift the Staff to release DBK if Wukong isn't available.

Macaque isn't his mate's equal for nothing.

[velvet-vox]

Why Po from Kung Fu Panda and N from Murder Drones are the exact same character: an analysis of Po's and N's low empathy.

Hi.

If there is one thing that unites the Murder Drones fanbase and the Kung Fu Panda fanbase is the misinterpretation of their male lead character traits.

More specifically, the two fandoms in their fan works tend to leave out or outright forget one of the most interesting aspects of their characterization:

Their low empathy

So, today, I'm going to explain to you the difference between being kind and being empathetic, why both N and Po are only the former and not the latter, what are their similarities and how said similarities makes the other more interesting, and why it's ok and totally fine for someone to have low empathy as it doesn't make you a monster by definition (well, that's the case at least for Po; sorry N, but you committed genocide).

Let's get right in.

1. Defining kindness and empathy

For starters, I'm going to define the difference between kindness and empathy, as the two terms are often used interchangeably when in reality they are nothing alike. So:

A kind person, is someone who goes out of their way to commit an act of good towards the other, usually said act gets expressed in a physical way (hugs, gifts, favours etc) or a psychological way (pep talks, encouragement, comfort words etc).

An empathetic person, is someone who understands the pain and struggles of the others on an emotional level without necessarily having experienced it before and can relate to them through said connection even if they don't necessarily act upon it.

I'm a kind person, but I'm not an empathetic one. I always go out of the way to not inconvenience the people around me, and I even go out of my way to buy expensive gifts and surprise the people I care about the most, but I don't necessarily feel anything intense when they are present in my life nor do I really relate to their struggles and losses.

I wouldn't define myself as a Po or an N since I'm more on the introverted side of the low empaths, but I can use my extensive knowledge on the matter to demonstrate these next two points:

2. Demonstrating that N has low empathy

I expect this to be easier than Po, since despite the Murder Drones fandom being younger than the KFP one, I assume that most people would believe you if you told them that N is rather unemphatic, because when you really start to think about it for more than one second, you'll realise that N doesn't really feel directly bad for the people he killed, he more so feels remorseful for his past actions and uncomfortable whenever he inconveniences the drones who are still alive through his murderous nature.

In the pilot episode, he kills an entire room full of people and almost kills Uzi as well, and when it's time to apologise? He says that he's sorry for ruining their card game and making Uzi have an awkward moment with her dad. You know... aside from this being a horror comedy show with a tinge of romance, Murder Drones doesn't really make N feel awful for the horrible atrocities he commits, instead makes N feel sorry for the down to earth annoyances he produces.

There are many other examples of his uncaring nature towards life: the death of Uzi's classmates, both by his, Doll's and V's hands, his increasing anger towards V caused more by the fact that she kept secrets rather than her attitude towards the murders, and the speed at which he reacted to Beau and Tessa.

Despite his happy go lucky attitude and gentle treatment of others, N doesn't feel the need to cope with his murders that V and Uzi have (at least on the surface). V couldn't cope with her murderous actions, so instead she created this killer psycho girl persona that enjoys the thrill of death, while Uzi had an entire mental breakdown after taking out half of his classroom and needed N to calm her down.

N's main motivation throughout the season is being useful to the company and his friends, and more often than not this goal involves him being a violent killer to everybody who threatens the wellbeing and happiness of his owners.

N's lack of empathy isn't a flaw that he can overcome like Uzi's ego and V's insecurities, but rather an innate character trait that he has to live with for the rest of his life, and that's ok; after all, the show doesn't punish him for being unable to relate to other people's deaths and traumas, but instead punishes him for being submissive and following orders unapologetically; a flaw that he shares with J.

3. Demonstrating that Po has low empathy

And now, it's time for the hardest sell. Many of you up until this point might have been thinking: "How the hell did he even think about comparing Po from Kung Fu Panda to N from Murder Drones, they are from two completely different franchises with a distinct difference in tone between the two" but trust me, once I came up with the comparison, I was unable to not see it, so I had to write this article.

Much like N, Po has a happy go lucky attitude towards his fights, and uses humour to his advantage and to the disadvantage of his enemies. But don't let his cuddly appearance fool you in the same way pandas fool people in real life and Kung Fu Panda 1 fooled audiences when it first released: behind Po's childlike wonder for martial arts (which is already a red flag, if you think about it, it's similar to Lizzie's passion for murderous women) there's a strong, unyielding warrior who was ready from day one to do the necessary things to keep the Valley of Peace safe.

Don't believe me? Then just look at the photo above; the execution of Tai Lung is definitely the first thing that comes to mind when everyone thinks of Po lacking compassion, for obvious reasons, but there are way more than that: at the beginning of the second movie when Shifu receives the letter informing him that Master Rhino was executed by Lord Shen's weapon, Po is super enthusiastic about Rhino's legendary status right up until Shifu drops the truth bomb on him and reveals that he was killed, and Po's reaction is to instinctively reiterate one of his previous statements, and then moves on from it immediately without any second thoughts. That's not normal, right?

A minor portion of KFP2's conflict is Po's inability to see how much his dad did for him, a struggle overcome only by the end of it. Po, despite loving his dad dearly, is unable to personally relate to all of the things that he did for him, so he puts him off until he can find the answers that he seeks.

Side note: this is what makes their reunion at the end of the movie so impactful for me, I also tend to emotionally neglect people by accident, and when I realise it I go out of my way to make it up to them, like Po who comes back with a lot of ingredients that his dad doesn't need just to let him know that he cares even if he doesn't show it in a normal manner.

The only time in the trilogy where Po's lack of empathy becomes a noticeable problem for him, is in Kung Fu Panda 3, where, after his biological dad tells him that he lied to him in order to make him come to the village, Po, who clearly can't relate to his struggle and barely knew him for a day, immediately rejects him, going as far as to say that he lost him.

Other minor examples are his treatment of the Furious Five, especially the scene in KFP1 where he enters Crane's room and doesn't immediately realise the problem.

4. And now, with that out of the way, it's time to confront the two and explain why their similarities make the other more interesting

When comparing the two, the thing that comes to mind immediately is that Po has a lot less emotional baggage than N, and while that doesn't mean that Po doesn't have trauma (insert Po finds the truth from John Powell and Hans Zimmer), it means that Po compared to N has lived a pretty stable life; while N instead has never been fully safe from harm since he is a robot.

Po feels like a version of N that was not as scarred from tragedy and backstabbed as the other; Po, at least in the movies, doesn't have someone who takes advantage of his kind nature to trick him into committing something bad, while N instead suffers consistently from other people abusing his kindness and trusting nature and more often than not ends up almost dead.

While Po throughout the trilogy struggles to find who he is, who he was, and who he's meant to be, N throughout the show struggles with a worse version of that same concept by lacking self worth, which culminates in his blind thrust.

Po, thanks to his dad, has an internalised moral compass that helps him decide on his own what is right and what is wrong despite lacking empathy, while N never had anybody to explain morality to him, aside from his programming and maybe Tessa, so instead he just goes along with what anybody tells him to do, since he can't directly relate to the pain of others.

That's why comparing the two is so fascinating to me: in many ways, Po and N are each other's foil, because they are so similar in terms of personality and fandom portrayal; they are both genuinely kind individuals, but while one of them had the care and support he needed to become his best self, the other still struggles to find an healthy support system aside from Uzi.

5. Low empathy doesn't make you a monster

A lot of fans tend to dumb down their characters to just kind, sweet and innocent, despite the fact that in the actual canon works they have willingly and intentionally killed people; the general terror, it seems, is the idea that just because they have committed crimes before and they lack the societal traits that make a person traditionally good, then suddenly they are horrible people and you are glorifying violence.

But that's not the case; a lot of the mental conditions stigmatized by society, like sadism, sociopathy, BPD, are just that: conditions. They don't indicate that a person is inherently more good than the other, nor do they indicate that someone is more at risk of becoming evil than the other.

It's who you choose to be.

I hope this post gave both fandoms the insight they needed to write about these two characters properly.

You don't need to be afraid of not having the same personality type as most other individuals, we are all different people yet we all deserve to live in this world equally.

Don't you ever forget.

[neontoad]

“Chuuya Is a Sore Loser” needs a special edition, Dazai thinks one day, a genius prank idea brewing in his head. He’s not gonna lie - he’s really proud of this plan. He’s the best strategist of the Port Mafia for a reason - and his talents span further than planning missions. 

Step one - install a hidden camera in Chuuya’s kitchen.

Step two - get Chuuya drunk on some shitty wine and watch him embarrass himself, every single bit of his drunken delirium caught on tape. 

Step three - send the video to everyone in the Port Mafia and have a good laugh. With the nature of the prank, he won’t even have to bother with printing the newsletter out. Saving trees AND humiliating the hat rack? 

Sounds like a perfect plan. 

Installing the camera is a piece of cake - Dazai had messed with Chuuya’s apartment so many times, that he’d probably be able to do it in the dark with his eyes closed. 

Luckily, Chuuya immediately agrees to Dazai’s proposal to come over with a bottle of wine, his text message read and answered within seconds. Silly slug - he makes it so easy. Too easy, even. 

Just to be sure the plan works out, Dazai shows up with two bottles. He knows Chuuya has a very low alcohol tolerance, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?

After the third glass, Chuuya’s cheeks get all red, a sure sign that he’s almost had a little bit too much. With his brows furrowed and speech slurred he already looks hilarious, but Dazai just knows it’s about to get even funnier. What is Chuuya going to do today? Dance to some obscure Eurodance music? Sing anime openings from the 90s? Tell some trashy story from his Sheep days?

Dazai has no idea and it makes him vibrate with excitement. He glances at the camera and pours some more wine into Chuuya’s glass. He takes a sip and puts the glass on the table with a loud thud. 

The show is about to start, Dazai thinks triumphantly. 

Chuuya makes a strange sound and Dazai giggles internally - seems like the Port Mafia will have the pleasure of seeing the “best” martial artist, the gravity manipulator Nakahara Chuuya throwing up all over his kitchen floor. Perfect. 

Another sound escapes Chuuya’s mouth. And another one. And another, until Dazai, to his horror, realises that Chuuya is sobbing, his shoulders jerking up and down, tears streaming down his red face as he desperately tries to wipe them away. 

“I have no one,” he wheezes through his tears. “They are all gone.”

Dazai takes another glance at the camera, immediately looking back at Chuuya. His eyes are red, his hair sticks to his wet cheeks, and the look in his eyes is eerily unnerving. It’s so raw that it looks like Chuuya can see right through him. Dazai opens his mouth but no sound leaves his mouth. What can he even say?

“I only have you, shitty Dazai,” Chuuya sobs. “You are the only person I have left. Don’t you leave me, too.”

The breakdown as well as the excessive amounts of wine seem to have drained Chuuya of the last of his energy. With his head on the kitchen table, he falls asleep, soft hiccups interrupting his even breathing. 

For a few minutes, Dazai sits still, watching Chuuya’s back go up and down, his wailing still ringing in his ears: “You are the only person I have left”.

He takes the camera and turns it off. 

Chuuya is way too heavy to be carried all the way to the bedroom, so Dazai lays him on the couch in the living room and covers him with a blanket. Tiptoeing around the kitchen, he cleans up, places a glass of water on the coffee table and quietly leaves. 

When Dazai gets home, he breaks the SD card in half. 

He doesn’t sleep that night.

The next day Chuuya doesn’t show up to work. The Port Mafia meetings are even more boring without him, and Dazai wonders if he should go and check on him. 

He doesn’t. 

Chuuya is back the following day. It’s as clear as a day that he tries his best to avoid Dazai, and when he can’t, he averts his gaze and doesn’t react to a single taunt Dazai throws at him. 

Naturally, Dazai comes to Chuuya’s apartment in the evening.

Usually, Chuuya throws something at him, or yells abuse, or kicks him down the stairs when Dazai breaks in. This time, Chuuya’s reaction makes Dazai’s blood freeze. 

“Leave me alone,” he whispers, his face full of horror and… shame?

Dazai takes a step forward.

“Leave me alone,” Chuuya stubbornly says again, stepping back. “Or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

Unfazed by the empty threats, Dazai crosses the room and looks into Chuuya’s eyes. He can still see the flames hiding in them behind the crippling shame, and he has to admit that the raging fire looks gorgeous with icy blue, contradiction as bright as Chuuya himself. 

“Lea-”

Dazai cuts him short, wrapping his arms around Chuuya’s shoulders and pulling him close, instantly feeling the tension in Chuuya’s body disappear as he slowly raises his arms and wraps them around Dazai’s waist. 

He doesn’t know how long this moment lasts — it could be seconds. Minutes. Centuries. All he knows is that it’s more than enough time to say what he wants to say without using any words. 

Although… There is something that he’d like Chuuya to hear.  

Chuuya’s hair smells of peppermint, and when Dazai leans down to Chuuya’s ear, he thinks that it might easily become his new favourite smell.

“I’m not leaving you.”

Thank you for reading! Nezu on twt made the loveliest artwork for this little story, make sure to check it out!

[rooksblvd]

oh to be loved by yuji

In honour of the fandom's collectively adopted child's birthday. In my head, Shibuya never happened. In my head, Yuji is happy. Call me Fushiguro Megumi, because I am irrevocably in love with Itadori Yuji too.

who gives you the best hugs

who is a major ass cuddler

who will hit a spider with a slipper if you're scared of it and then secretly have a mental breakdown over it when he realises that it must've had a family

who takes you on onsen dates

who insists on helping you wash your hair and more

who breathes in the scent of your hair whenever he thinks you're asleep (on him of course)

who's procrastibakes pies so good that make you want to inhale them all in

who cooks and looks hot while doing it

who will bring you flowers out of the blue because why not

whose love language is playing bread & fred with you

who is big fucking tease

"I love you" "Say it again" "Ugh, you're fun, I guess" "You guess? Damn do you slander everyone you supposedly fall in love with?" "Nope, you get special rights" "Oh? What else can I get away with then?" "What do you want to get away with?" A cheesy grin spreads across his face and you realise you might have screwed yourself up, uh oh!

who absentmindedly caresses your thumb when your hands are intertwined

who will play dumb only to rile you up and then make up by kissing you all over

who gets away with almost everything and yes, that might have to do with how he's a little cute

who insists you match outfits on movie nights

who will go on a rant mid movie about how poor the visual effects are and then spend the next half pestering you to explain how the plot developed in the time he was ranting

who asks for consent every time he kisses you, no matter how long you are together, he will look for a sign of permission every single time

who buys you the most random of things because they reminded him of you

who is just as good a listener as he is a yapper

who puts on the slayest of bangers when he cooks/bakes with you (Livin la vida loca being one of them)

who follows the sidewalk rule religiously

[beenbaanbuun]

Its You and Me (‘Til the End of Time)

words - 3.8k

genre - fluff

warnings - Mingyu is a cutie

To be fair, you’d been meaning to visit the place for a while. Ever since you first moved to Seoul a month ago, you and Mingyu had been trying to make plans to see each other, but for one reason or another, they always ended up getting cancelled. Usually, it was due to Mingyu having to practice late, or being called into the studio to re-record some lines, but you never minded. Mingyu was a busy guy, and it’s not like you hadn’t waited for literal years to see him; a few more days couldn’t hurt.

The two of you had still yet to set up a new time and date, and yet there you were. A mixture of excitement and anxiety bubbled within you, making the stress inside of you build to an almost unbearable level. It was impossible to stay calm in such a situation, but you were trying your hardest. You could only hope that the thread you were hanging in by stayed intact for just a little longer.

You lifted your hand up to the door once more, letting your fingers wrap against the wood before you could think about it twice. ‘Fuck,’ you thought as the sound finally reached your ears; there was no turning back now.

It was hard to hear much above the rain that hammered down against every surface surrounding you, but it was difficult to mistake the jingle of keys for anything else. You thought you’d have more than just a few seconds to gather your thoughts and decide what you were going to say, but as the door swung open, your mind went blank.

“Hello…” the man standing before you looked wary. It was understandable, you supposed. It’s not every day a stranger shows up at your home at such a time, especially not when you’re a K-pop idol. You were surprised honestly that he opened the door at such a late hour.

“Is Mingyu in?” You replied, voice wavering a little as your body shivered. The longer you stood there, the colder you felt. Especially with the door to the Seventeen dorm now wide open, almost teasing you with how homely it looked inside. Well, as homely as 13 grown men could make a place look.

The man, who you assumed to be Seungcheol, just watched you with worried eyes. With the way you stood there, tears streaming down your face and wet clothes clinging to your quaking body, he felt it was almost cruel to have this conversation on his doorstep. He could invite you in, and offer you a nice warm cup of tea and some clean clothes before continuing to interrogate you about your intentions with his member. It seemed like the humane thing to do.

But for the safety of himself and his members, he kept the conversation on the doorstep. If anything happened to his boys, he’d never stop feeling guilty. Protecting them came first, even if it meant he had to put his instincts to be a gentleman aside for a moment or two.

“Why?” He asked.

“Please,” you replied, “I just need to see him.”

“Who are you?” He countered.

“I’m a friend.” You could tell you didn't have him convinced.

“Can I have a name?” You nodded.

“Y/N.”

A sudden look of realisation fell over his face as you answered his question. Knowing that Mingyu must’ve told his group about you almost filled you with a sense of pride, and if you weren't on the verge of what seemed to be the fifth breakdown that night, you probably would’ve smiled at the thought. But with a huge ball of anxiety growing bigger and bigger in your chest, you could think of little more than getting some much-needed comfort.

“You’re Y/N?” Again, you nodded, only this time it was more desperate, “The Y/N? The one Gyu never shuts up about? I didn't even realise you were real!”

“Huh?” For just a second you were shocked out of your sadness, but Seungcheol took no notice. He ushered you into the building, closing the door once the two of you were safely inside. You were barely standing there for a second before he mumbled something about finding Mingyu and rushed off into a room that you assumed some of the other boys were sitting in. Given the way the place erupted into a mass of noise almost immediately as Seungcheol made his presence known, you guessed you were correct.

You tried not to listen to the conversation going on in the other room, simply focussing on taking off your shoes. You placed them neatly by the door alongside a pair of the biggest boots you’d ever seen in your life. It was easier said than done though; the boys were loud and even though they spoke on top of one another, the conversation was surprisingly easy to understand. Multiple questions were thrown at Seungcheol, most of which he replied to with a simple ‘later,’ before moving on to the next.

You wondered if Mingyu was in there with them, sitting amongst all his friends, having a good time. The guilt of taking him away from them, even if just for a few hours, ate at you. You almost regretted knocking on their front door, and you definitely regretted disturbing the peace at such an hour. Maybe if you hadn’t panicked like you did, you would’ve come up with a better solution than bothering your childhood friend who you hadn’t seen in years. You doubted he even cared enough about you to help you of his own accord, and you certainly didn't want to pressure him into anything. Maybe the best thing for you to do would be to put your sodden shoes back on your feet and leave quietly. You could see Mingyu another time; a time when he actually wanted to see you. Of course, you’d ask him to apologise to his members for you. It’d be the least you could do.

You bent down to grab your shoes again, wincing as you felt the cold material touch your fingertips. The thought of putting them back onto your feet - your feet that were only just starting to warm up - made you want to cry. Thinking about stepping out into the cold, rainy night was even worse. With a sigh, you blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and reached out to grab the door handle.

“Y/N?” You stopped in your tracks as your name was called. The voice was one that you recognised, and just hearing it again brought you an immeasurable amount of comfort. It was like going home after a long time and shoving your face into your favourite childhood blanket, or holding a forgotten teddy in your arms for the first time in years. It was something so distant, and yet so familiar. “Is that really you?”

Mingyu didn’t attempt to hide the worry on his face as you turned to him. He didn't see the point. Why pretend that everything was okay when it was obvious that it wasn't? After all, why else would you be standing in his home so late, dripping a puddle onto the wooden floor in the foyer? Why else would your eyes be red from all the tears you’d cried?

“Mingyu,” you whispered.

“I couldn't sleep and then I heard hyung say your name,” he explained as he closed the distance between the both of you. As he wrapped himself around you, sharing his body heat with you, you felt the thread inside of you getting weaker. “Are you okay?”

It felt like home to have him in your arms again, even if the circumstances were less than ideal.

“I don’t think I am,” you admitted, letting yourself turn to jelly in his arms. You tried desperately to hold back the fresh wave of tears that burned the back of your eyes, but as Mingyu rubbed soothing circles into your spine, it felt more and more impossible. “I’m so sorry.”

As your voice cracked, his arms tightened around you. You were thankful for that, in a way. You’d almost certainly fall to the floor if you didn't have at least some form of support to hold you in place. It was just ironic that that support came in the form of the very same man that had supported you for almost all of your childhood. Even after you spent so long apart, the two of you seemed to slip right back into the childish, unconditional love you once felt for one another and nothing felt even a centimetre out of place.

The two of you held onto one another for a while. The loud conversation from the other room soon turned into background noise as Mingyu hummed a tune into your ear. It wasn't one you recognised; perhaps it was something he was working on. And even the thought that he would share something so private with you after so many years made you feel a whole lot better.

Nothing seemed to have changed, not really anyway. Sure, the two of you were a little older but Mingyu was still the same Mingyu as before, and you were the same you.

“I won’t let you tell me you’re sorry, okay?” His lips moved against your ear as he whispered to you, “There is nothing to be sorry for.”

You hiccuped out a sob.

“I shouldn’t be here, Mingyu,” you said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The way Mingyu’s arms held you against him with a vice-like grip let you know that he disagreed. Still, you argued your case. “We haven't seen each other in so long and you shouldn’t have to deal with this. You’re busy!”

“Not right now, I’m not.”

“But you will be tomorrow,” you argued, “and this is so stupid! I should just go.”

You tried to pull away from him, but his grip on you only tightened. It wasn’t painful, but it was firm enough to let you know that you weren't going to get away from him that easily. Not until he’d made sure you were okay, at least.

Because to say he was worried would be an understatement. It would be one thing to show up at his dorms unannounced, but to show up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down your face and your hair and clothes dripping with rain? There had to be something bigger going on and Mingyu was going to get to the bottom of it, even if it killed him.

It killed him more not to know.

Because he cared for you. Even if you hadn't seen each other in years, he still loved you. He still thought about you every single day and dreamed about you each and every night. His lockscreen was a photo that you’d sent him of you at the beach, and his favourite playlist was one that you’d made for him. You consumed his life and he wouldn’t let you leave now. Not when he knew you needed him.

It wasn't long until you gave up trying to pull away and rested your tired head on his shoulder. Your wet hair left a cold patch on his t-shirt, but he didn't even blink. If he even felt the tiniest bit cold, he knew you felt a hundred times worse.

That reminded him, you were still in your wet clothes.

“You’re going to catch a cold, you know,” he said, “and while I’d be more than happy to take care of you, I don't even want to think about how miserable you’d be. Let's get you changed, hm?”

You didn't argue as he pulled you along, up the stairs and to his bedroom that he shared with God knows who. It was obvious which side belonged to Mingyu and which side didn't. The clothes that were sprawled across the floor reminded you of his bedroom as a teenager and you couldn't help but giggle when he shot you an embarrassed smile.

You sent one back, the corners of your eyes crinkling as you followed him over to his wardrobe.

He dug through his clothing collection, occasionally stopping on the odd piece before deciding that it wasn't right and moving on. Of course, you were in no position to turn down warm, dry clothes so you would’ve taken anything Mingyu offered to you. Knowing him, though, he was searching for the softest, fluffiest pieces he owned, just like he always did when he lent you clothes.

There was a small sound of affirmation when he tugged a large brown hoodie from its hanger and placed it in your arms. It was swiftly followed by a pair of matching sweatpants and some fluffy socks that had little dogs on them. They were cute, and so utterly Mingyu that you almost wanted to tease him for them.

But before you got the chance he scurried off, mentioning something getting you something warm to drink. You called out a thank you after him and got to work taking your sodden items of clothing off.

Each of them made an unappealing schlopp sound as they hit the floor. It sent a shiver down your spine (or perhaps that was just how cold you felt) the sound entirely unappealing. Once you were changed you'd have to hang them up to dry and grab a mop to get rid of the rather large wet patch on Mingyu’s bedroom floor. There would be nothing worse than leaving him to deal with it after all of his hospitality.

Speaking of which the clothes he gave you were possibly some of the cosiest you’d ever worn. The inside of the matching sweat suit was fluffy and got to work with drying your skin a little. The coolness of your skin was soon starting to seep away into nothingness and you wrapped your arms around yourself to snuggle against the soft material. You hated to think about the cost of something like this. Probably more than you’d earn in a month and there you were, wearing it like it meant nothing.

But it did mean something. It meant a lot.

To you, at least.

“You look so cute,” Mingyu laughed as he stepped back into the room, a laptop stuck under his arm and a steaming mug in either hand. “Look at you. The sleeves are so long on you, it's adorable. I wish I could grab my phone to take a photo.”

You blushed as his soft voice rang through the room, offering compliment after compliment.

“It's not my fault your arms are freakishly long,” you shot back at him. He laughed a little more as he placed the mugs on the nightstand and his laptop on the bed. His body soon followed, flopping unceremoniously onto his mattress. He patted the spot next to him as if to invite you over.

You hesitated.

“Come on,” he said, “get your cute little self over here and into my freakishly long arms. It's been way too long since we’ve had a BFF movie night!” Your face was probably shining red right now, the effects of Mingyu’s words really hitting home.

Because as far as you could recall, your BFF movie nights had never involved cuddling on his bed. Instead, the two of you would sit together on a sofa, one blanket covering the two of you with a popcorn bowl in the middle. If Mingyu occasionally slipped his arm over your shoulder, that was his business, just like it was yours when you pretended to fall asleep with your head leaned against him.

Althoguh, the more you thought about it, the less this differed from the movie nights of the past. Instead of a sofa, it was a bed and instead of popcorn, it was hot chocolate. Mingyu was still very much the same tall, clingy teddy bear as he was back then, and you were still the same old you.

One deep breath was all it took for you to make your way over to the bed and crawl on. You sat down, a little more gracefully, next to Mingyu and peered over at the screen of the laptop. Quite frankly, you didn't care what he was putting on. You figured that being next to him was enough to bring back the nostalgia of when the two of you were young. So when he gave you a suggestion, you just hummed and waited for Mingyu to lean back against his pillows.

He did, putting an arm out to the side for you to lean on. You smiled as you rested your head against it and shuffled your body until it was flush against his. As if it were an instinct, Mingyu’s other arm snaked around your waist, pulling you even closer in. It was cosy and you were happy.

The film ticked by, neither of you paying much attention to it as you watched one another instead. There was the occasion comment passed between the two of you, although it was nothing significant. Just small talk, really. Something that you never cared for but with Mingyu it felt nice. Telling him how your life had been didn't feel forced, and you more than loved listening to him tell you about his members. By the time the film was finished, you felt as though only minutes had passed by, not a whole two hours.

But Mingyu made no move to put on another film, and you thought that perhaps the comfort and safety of the night was all coming to an end. He’d send you home, letting you know that he had to go into the studio tomorrow or something, and he’d already lost too much sleep with you there. He’d send you on your way and let you know that you’ll see each other soon, but how soon was a question that the two of you couldn't possibly know the answer to.

As sad as you were about the inevitable, you couldn't be angry, nor could you claim it was unexpected. Honestly, you were more surprised that you even got to spend these fleeting few hours with Mingyu in the first place. He opened his mouth to talk, and you waited for the words that you really did not want to hear.

“I want to ask you what happened,” he whispered, “What was bad enough that the only place you could think to come was here? To me.” He stopped for a few seconds to gather his thoughts. There were a brief couple of seconds where you could've responded to his question, but part of you knew that he didn't want you to. Not yet at least. “I'm grateful, of course. I’ve missed having you around and even if the circumstances are, well, less than favourable, I still like having you by my side.”

It was still dark in the room, even though the sun had just begun to peak over the horizon. You could just make out Mingyu’s features as he gazed at you. He was even prettier now that he’d grown into a man, even though he hadn't changed that much. His big doe eye remained, as did the permanent pout on his lips. He’d just grown into them, you supposed.

“I like being by your side.” You replied.

“That's good to know,” he said, leaning in a little closer, “because now I have you back with me, seeing you walk out that door again just feels wrong. I need to know that you’ll be coming back and I need to know when. I can't just sit and wait for the day to finally roll around, anymore.” You could feel his breath brush against your lips. His own were parted, glistening in the golden light of the dawn. “I want to know that you’re mine, Y/N.”

The words struck you like lightning.

His.

You hadn't seen him in years but somehow, all the feelings that you’d pushed deep down came shooting back, hitting you like a wrecking ball. The way your skin seemed to tingle whenever he lay a hand on you, or the way your face heated up whenever he shot a nonchalent compliment in your direction. You always doubted he knew that he was driving you crazy on a daily basis, but now you weren't so sure. He may have seemed the type to jump into things head first and face the consequences layer, but you’d never known the man to do anything without a mental pros and cons list.

“Do you ask every girl who comes to your doorstep crying to be yours?” You joked, not sure what else to say. You wanted to scream yes, but the thought of making him wait for an answer from you was a little too funny.

“Only the pretty ones,” he replied, not phased by your comment.

His, of course, had done the world of damage to you. You giggled, shying away from his gaze. It's not like he hadn't called you pretty before, but this time it had meaning behind it. No longer was it just an off-the-cuff comment that Mingyu made to boost your confidence when you were feeling a little shy.

It took you a moment to regain composure, and even longer to look him in the eyes. He wore a confident look on his face as if he already knew the answer. You cursed your lack of subtlety for making it so obvious that you wanted to be his just as badly.

“I guess I’ll have to say yes,” you whispered, “even if your timing is impeccably off.”

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled. You could tell he wasn't actually sorry at all. “I couldn't hold back now that I’d seen you again.”

You knew how he felt. The pull you felt towards him was almost unbearable.

“I’ve missed you Mingyu.”

“I’ve missed you more.”

[pandorahex]

The world is a scary place, isn't it?

You've been noticing it on the news. People going missing and showing up again days later with no memory of the time in between. Some were saying they were just depressed people having breakdowns and running away from their problems, others that aliens were involved! The official police story seemed to be some kind of drug craze, though the victims seemed to be denying that. But you thought nothing of it. The world is a scary place, after all. And you have so much to work on, after all.

Besides, victims was the wrong word really. When the people who vanished reappeared, their lives seemed to completely turn around. They were more confident, passionate, driven. They laughed more, the people around them couldn't help but notice how much happier they were. They spent a little bit too much time on their phones, but who doesn't these days, right? When people asked why, they'd just talk about how positive the support network the victims had formed was, how they were all building each other up.

Everything crashed to a halt when you got the call. They'd vanished, gone. Your crush, the person you spent so much time obsessing over and hoping would notice you back. Somebody had told the police you were close, they wanted to know if you knew anything? You mumbled out everything you could think of about when you last saw them, dimly aware that they might suspect you were involved, but too in shock to think about what that might mean. As you hang up the phone, there's a strange feeling in your chest. Fear, but also… excitement? A strange thrill.

And of course, like all the others, your crush came back. And just as you knew they would be, they were… different. They almost seemed taller, carrying themselves with a completely deserved confidence. But you, who knew them so well could see more than that. Their eyes, which you'd found yourself looking for any reason to lose yourself in. Such warm, caring eyes… but now? Sometimes you'd catch them staring at you, their eyes more like a lion watching a gazelle, waiting for its opening. Sometimes, you wouldn't catch them, but you knew their eyes were fixed on the back of your neck. Why did that excite you, rather than make you run for safety?

You were being paranoid. Just paranoia. Yeah.

But sometimes paranoia is justified. You knew that when your eyes snapped open in the middle of the night and you heard the spare key turning in the lock. There was only one person you'd given that key to. A desperate idea to get them to be more involved with you. Well, looks like it worked. The door to your bedroom opens and you can see them stood there, silhouette made all the more striking by the skintight black outfit clinging to every part of their body. But your gaze is drawn to the handcuffs dangling from one of their fingers.

"Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use these? Maybe you'd be into that though… Oh, I'm so glad you get to meet Her!"

And you can really feel that capital letter. It burns in your mind somehow, you can feel their lips really make sure to pronounce it out. But overwhelming that feeling right now is the fear. It's just too much. You'll be embarrassed by this later, but you lunge towards them, trying to get past, to escape. In an instant, they had you against the floor, your wrists bound in those cuffs and a cloth coated in something intoxicating pressed against… your… mou-

Emptiness.

But with something more.

Blankness.

But with something more.

You stir. You feel cold, and you realise with a jolt that you're completely nude. The cold is only brought more into focus by the smooth, angled table your wrists and ankles are bound to with thick, metallic restraints. You're under a powerful, bright light but the rest of the room is almost pitch black. You can make out a large mirror on one wall, but nothing else.

No, something else. Someone else. A figure, stood on the edge of the circle of light. And through your hazy eyes, you see Her for the first time. And you realise with a shock of horror that you've just thought that capital letter. Why would you do that?

Why would you enjoy it so much?

Something in you struggles, a deep instinct from a prehistoric time. Fear courses through your body, you struggle uselessly against your restraints.

And She steps forward. Her body is perfect, but you see Her eyes most clearly. She opens Her mouth, Her lips so inviting, and She speaks:

"Mine."

And you don't hesitate for even a moment. Your will melts in an instant, your mind crumbles. She is your entire world, and everything falls into place for you. There is nothing you can't do, because She is burning in your mind. Her Words are the force behind your motivation, your love, your passion. With a moan from the deepest core of your very being, you answer:

"Yours!"

And She does exactly what you needed in that moment. She smiles.

Of course, you'll need a few more days to be perfect. To understand the sort of person to look out for. To understand what you really want. To share every hope and dream with Her.

And how much more achievable, exciting, incredible those hopes and dreams seem now. Knowing you'll be spending them at Her side.

The world is a pretty wonderful place, don't you think, My love?