#I almost cried from shame today when my plate was full of food and I couldn't eat even 1/4 of it

[sovamurka]

bad news, I think I developed a serious case of ED, that may have been provoked by my meds

[ragingbookdragon]

I'm Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 3

Batfamily x Batsis Story!

Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst! Tags!: @itsnottilly @cloudyskylines

Author's Note: DUN DUN DUN!!!! Y'all enjoy this now, because it's only gonna get so much more angstier soon. -Thorne

Set Three Months After PT. 2:

She didn’t have to look up to know who entered the shop, because his voice carried over the air. “Melisandre!”

Humming, she immediately plated a pastry and a hot coffee, sliding it on the counter just as he sat down. “Good morning, Wally,” she greeted, watching him take a bite. “Right on time, as always.”

He smiled, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. “Morming Merisamdmur,” he replied, and she rolled her eyes with a snort.

“Jeez Wally, didn’t your mom teach you to not talk with your mouth full?”

Shrugging, he swallowed and said, “I was trying to be polite.”

“I think it’s more polite to chew with your mouth closed and speak after you swallow.”

They glared at each other before one of them cracked a smile and they fell into laughter. She tossed a napkin his way. “How’s your day going so far?”

Wally groaned and laid his head on the cool marble countertop. “I’ve got so much to do today, it’s not even funny.”

“Well, well, Wally the procrastinator is finally feeling his toes at the fire, huh?” She ignored his glare. “What do you have to do?”

“Barry needs my help with my cousins and my friends are coming over today to hangout and I haven’t bought any food or drinks for that and I have yet to even start cleaning my house.”

She giggled and reached over, patting his head sympathetically. “There, there, Wally. Everything will be alright. Why don’t you just bring your cousins over to your house and watch them while you hang out with your friends?”

“Because my cousins are annoying and I’m not subjecting my friends to that,” he countered and propped his chin on his palm. “Unless…”

She cocked a brow and waited for him to continue and he offered, “You come over with my cousins and help me watch them?”

“No.”

“What! Why?”

“Well for starters, I don’t know your friends and it would be weird for me to just show up.” She countered.

“They’ll like you though!” he cried, and his hand shot out, wrapping around hers. “Please, Melisandre!”

“Wally, I’ll just watch your cousins at my apartment and Iris can just come get them later, that’ll be easier and won’t force me to sit in a group of people who don’t know me.” He tried to speak but she tossed another napkin, hitting him in the face. “I’m watching Dawn and Don so you and your friends can hang out without being bothered, and that’s final.”

His face pinched. “You sure you can keep up with them?”

Something passed between them and she quirked a brow. “I can keep up with you, can’t I, Wally?”

Wally chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, that’s a fair point.” He glanced at her. “They would like you though.”

She ignored the comment in favor of, “Tell me about them. What are they like?”

He inhaled sharply and took a moment to think. “Donna’s strong willed, Roy’s loud, Lilith likes to get in your head, Garth is easy to annoy, and Dick’s kinda the glue that keeps us together.”

“Dick? He get that from Richard by asking nicely?”

Wally barked a laugh. “Oh, I’m definitely gonna tell him you said that.” He nodded. “But yeah, his name is Richard Grayson, but he goes by Dick.”

Her eyes almost bulged out of her head and she was lucky that Wally was looking at his watch then.

Don’t ask. Don’t do it. Leave it alone.

But she couldn’t stop herself.

“Richard Grayson?” she feigned. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

Wally met her eyes. “Bruce Wayne.”

She snapped her fingers. “Right! The ward.” Wiping the counter, she added, “I heard they added a new addition to that family too. A daughter, right? Cassie? Cassidy?”

“Cassandra,” Wally corrected. “Yeah, that’s Dick’s new sister.” He put his elbows on the counter. “She’s nice, doesn’t talk a lot though.”

“The quiet one, then?”

He laughed. “Of them all.”

Don’t dig any deeper, (Y/N). Keep your fucking mouth shut and let it go.

“I always wondered what happened to that other daughter he had,” she murmured, and Wally’s face blanched like he’d witnessed a murder.

“What?”

She met his gaze. “He had another daughter. I think her name was (Y/N).”

He swallowed thickly. “He does.”

“Does? She’s still around?”

“Yeah, she’s in some Italian villa.”

“Wait really? I thought she died or something?”

“What? No! She left—” Wally snapped his mouth shut like he was about to reveal a secret, but she knew anyways. “She left and went to Europe for a mental retreat.” He finalized and she wondered if that was the story Dick told him to say if anyone asked. Or maybe it was Bruce.

“It’s been like three years now, right? You’d think she’d post something on social media.”

“The whole point of a mental retreat, Melisandre, is to get away from social media.”

Oh please, I know plenty of elite who do that shit and still post crap on their socials.

“There’s no way that girl hasn’t.”

“Why do you say that?”

She scoffed. “Oh please, she’s the daughter of a multi-billionaire. There’s no way a girl that wears Gucci belts and carries Prada purses keeps herself off social media.”

Wally’s eyes narrowed like he was thinking hard about something and she internally cursed.

Oh, smooth move you dumbass.

She coughed and waved a hand. “Well, it’s all theory anyway.”

After a moment, he nodded. “Yeah…theory.” Wally got to his feet and handed her the empty plate. “I should go ahead and get back to my place and clean up before they get here.”

“Have fun,” she smiled, and he grabbed her arm.

“Take a pic with me.”

“What? Why?”

“So, I can tell my friends about you and prove I’m not lying.” He pouted. “Pretty please, Melisandre?”

Don’t do it. Dick will know. You know he’ll know.

She smiled despite her internal thoughts. “Sure.”

Wally grinned and raised the camera where she was in the background. She threw up a peace sign and gave a cheesy grin, momentarily blinded by the flash of the camera.

She spun and filled a bag with pastries then handed it to him. “Here, so you can give even more proof.”

Wally took the bag and hopped onto the counter, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks Melisandre!” And he was dashing out the door.

You’ve ruined it all. This is going to come back to bite you in the ass. And it’s going to come quicker than you think.

She frowned and wiped down the counter again, trying to ignore her thoughts. Maybe. Just maybe, it wouldn’t.

***

Waving Barry and Iris off, she smiled as the twins climbed into the backseat of their car and the taillights signaled their departure. She closed the door behind her and glanced at the mess the two tornadoes had left. Even for the little she had in her apartment, they sure did know how to make a mess.

She sighed as she bent over to pick up one of the cushions when her doorbell rang and she stood up, confusion coming over her as she made her way to the door.

“Hello?” she asked, and a muffled voice echoed from the other side.

“Melisandre, it’s me, Wally. Can I come in?”

She opened the door, surprised to see him. “Wally? What are you doing here? I thought you were with your friends?”

“Yeah, I told them I had to do something really quickly,” he said as entered her apartment. He took a moment to examine her living room. “Man, Dawn and Don did a number here, didn’t they?”

She chuckled. “We had fun building forts.” Nudging him in the side, she added, “I don’t mind the mess.” She looked at him. “Do your friends know? About you being���you know?”

He nodded. “We’re all special in some way.”

Understatement there, Wally.

“So, why tell them you need to do something then come to me? Is everything alright?”

Busying herself with the couch cushions, she waited for him to explain, but nothing could’ve prepared her for his words.

“It will be once I get to the bottom of it…(Y/N).” She froze for a split second, but it was all he needed. “It really is you, isn’t it?”

(Y/N) stood upright and gazed at him. “When did you know?” Her voice was a lot colder than she meant for it to be.

“I had suspicion for a while, but when I showed the picture to everyone, Dick said it looked like you.”

“Really?” she laughed. “I thought I did a good job changing my appearance from three years ago.”

Wally didn’t laugh, he merely gaped at her. “Why?”

“Why what?” (Y/N) knew what he was referring to.

“Why’d you just leave?” He took a step towards her. “Do you have any idea what your family has gone through since you disappeared on them? The grief? The shame?”

She shrugged. “I explained everything in the letter I wrote my dad, Wally. There’s no reason why they should still be concerned with me.”

“They love you!” he shouted, taking her by surprise. “They love and miss you so much!”

“My family ignored me for eighteen years straight, Wally!” She yelled right back. “What was I supposed to do? Sit and pretend being forgotten was all normal?!” (Y/N) couldn’t help but shove at his chest. “I chose to leave because my next choice was taking a swan dive off Wayne Enterprises!”

His eyes went wide, and she shook her head. “I left because the only person who cared about me, was me.” She turned and fixed the final couch cushion while he watched her do so.

“They’re still looking for you, you know. Dick is always staring at his phone hoping there’s a text from Jason or Tim that they’ve found a sign of you.”

(Y/N) sighed. “If you’re trying to guilt trip me, Wally, it’s not going to work.” She shot him a glare. “I got over the fucking guilt the second the flight to Central took off. I got over the fucking guilt the night I laid in a hotel room bed curled into a ball where I cried myself to sleep. I got over the fucking guilt the moment I realized I’ve done so much better on my own than when I was there.”

She marched up to him and got in his face. “I got over the fucking guilt when I realized Barry and Iris Allen were more of a family than four brothers and dad ever were.”

They glared at each other and finally, she let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve already started a new life here and I have no plans of ever going back.”

“At a college that doesn’t have a real name. You know that’s illegal, right?”

(Y/N) scoffed. “What’re you gonna do, Wally? March into four-C and tell them Bruce Wayne’s daughter is going to school under a false name? We both know you wouldn’t.”

“I’ll tell Dick,” he suddenly shot back, and she went rigid.

“You wouldn’t dare,” (Y/N) threatened and he took a step towards her, getting nose to nose with her.

“Try me.”

They stared one another down and she said, “I think you need to leave, Wally West.”

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I guess I should.” He spun on his heel and marched to the door, but stopped when she questioned,

“Are you really going to tell him?”

Wally gazed at the ground for a moment then he murmured, “…No…it’s not my place to.”

(Y/N) swallowed and nodded. “Thank yo—”

“Don’t thank me, (Y/N). I’m lying to my best friend about knowing the real location of his baby sister he misses dearly.”

She looked away. “Cassandra is his baby sister now. He should focus on her.”

“You really have no idea about what they feel for you, do you, (Y/N)?” He asked, and she grunted.

“Get out, Wally.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gone,” he spat, slamming the door behind him, hard enough that it shook the walls that held the doorframe.

(Y/N) stared at the door for a few moments then cursed sharply and collapsed onto her couch, eyes directed to the ceiling. Three years down the drain in one conversation.

Way to go, (Y/N). You did a spectacular job of keeping it all under wraps.

She groaned and picked herself off the couch, not caring about the mess as she headed to bed. She’d deal with it all in the morning.

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor… - epilogue

Summary: It's been a year and a half since their little baby was born. How are the two of them doing?

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: None

A/N: Is it the end for Penny and Walter? Yes, omg i can't believe. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it. The story took a full 180 (especially because I intended this story to be much shorter lol), but I'm very satisfied nonetheless 🥰

Masterlist // But professor… masterlist // Previous chapter //

Declan has a plan and that is to go outside. I mean, it’s kinda fair, since he spend a lot of time inside today. Not that he complained. No, no, no, he was an absolute angel at the salon—like always—playing with his toys, while I was at work, but now he needs some fresh air after we had a quick snack at home.

This little man is definitely as head strong as his dad, however he isn’t as stubborn as Walter can be.

Declan attempts to throw a ball at me and I can see there is some definite improvement. Just like any kid at that age, he is distracted like that. ‘Momma, momma,’ he says, pointing to a truck that passes by. ‘Dada!’

‘Oh honey, that is not his truck,’ I say, crouching down next to him. ‘Dada is gonna become soon. In his other car. His work car.’

Declan points. ‘No dada?’

‘Not yet.’

‘Dada home?’

‘Almost,’ I say to him, giving him a kiss on his cheek. Declan stops playing altogether, staring at the road, waiting for Walter to come home. His mouth slightly agape, as he focused on every car that passes by.

Finally his car pulls up and I exclaim: ‘There he is!’ When Walter gets out of the car with a smile that is only this wide when he sees us, I let Declan go and watch him wobble over to his dad. With one hand he lifts the little boy up and presses kisses on his chubby cheek. ‘I missed you,’ Walter says, looking his son in the eye.

‘Dada miss, dada miss!’

He chuckles. ‘That’s right.’ He walks up to me and says: ‘There is my princess.’

‘Princess momma,’ Declan says.

‘Give me a kiss, sweetheart,’ he says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I press a peck on his lips and melt against his frame.

‘It went splendid,’ I say. ‘I actually got to do someone’s hair for an important interview and afterwards, she came back to the salon and told me it went great!’

He smiles. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

After Declan was born, I stayed home for about six months, acclimatizing to being a mom and those sleepless nights. It was hard, I cried a lot and I was very scared. I think I hung on the phone with my mom about seventy percent of the time, while calling Walter the remaining thirty percent. I have adjusted pretty okayish, especially when Walter went to work, made sure I have nothing to worry about.

No stress, providing for the two of us as much as he can and Declan and I sure are lucky that Walter is the love of my life.

My parents helped me financially to go to cosmetology school, which was an absolute blast. It was around fifteen minutes from my place and Declan was always allowed to come with me.

He sure wrapped everyone around his fingers with no issue at all.

While Walter still is that grumpy detective he was when I met him outside of our house, he changes into a big fluffy ball, shaped like a human the second the front door closes. No matter how tired he was, how long his shift was, he pushes it aside to take care of his family.

We walk inside of our place and I tell him: ‘I made dinner.’

While I’m not a world class chef, I do manage to make some decent meals, especially because I wanted to make Declan’s baby food, since my mom raised me with that as well (though I was no saint and had jars as well stored in my kitchen, just in case).

‘Princess, I’m so lucky to have you,’ Walter says. Once we’re inside, he places Declan in the high chair and scoots his own chair closer to it, a silent message that he will help Declan eat today. ‘Okay, little fella,’ Walter says, ‘you gonna be a good boy and not spill the food over me?’

Declan nods. ‘Deccie, good boy.’

I give Walter a kiss, after placing his plate and Declan’s in front of him. ‘He has been such a good boy at the salon today, so it’ll go great, I’m sure.’

After I sit across Walter, he asks about my day. From the looks of it, he had a rough one. Thankfully enough happened at the salon today for me to talk about. While we’re still working on improving him sharing more details, but I kinda understand. With Declan repeating a lot of words recently, we get a little bit more careful with what we’re saying.

After Dinner, Walter and I curl up on the couch after Walter changed into something more comfortable. Declan places his head on my chest, his eyelids growing heavier before he stretches out his hand to place on Walter’s chest.

I nuzzle against Walter’s side.

‘He is so cute,’ Walter notes.

I smile. ‘He sure is. He has your curls.’

‘But your pout and eyes. How can I ever say no to this kid?’

I shake my head. ‘You can’t, honey. I tried it today and it was the hardest thing in my life.’

He starts to chuckle softly. ‘You got nothing to do tomorrow?’

‘No, why?’

‘Can you come down the precinct? I wanna show off the two of you.’

I smile. ‘Oh my goodness, you are so predictable. Of course, I can come by. Maybe I’ll even steal some of my mom’s cookies, tell them I baked them.’

He chuckles. ‘Oh, you shouldn’t be lying when at the police.’

Declan stretches himself and whines a little bit. ‘Momma,’ he says, looking up to see me.

‘Oh, I think someone is really tired,’ I say. ‘You wanna go to bed?’

He nods. ‘Deccie tired.’

‘That’s what I thought.’

‘Here, sweetheart, I’ll do it. You relax, okay?’ Walter stands up and after I gave Declan a kiss, Walter lifts him up and carries the tired little one up the stairs.

I watch my big buff boyfriend walk back into the living room and he places the baby monitor in front of us, before he sits back on the couch. That monitor basically is glued to Walter’s hand as he always checks up on his boy. I thought I would be the parent that worries the most, however Walter puts me to shame.

The two of them are as thick as thieves and it makes me so grateful that we have a son together.

‘How was work today?’ I ask him.

He shrugs. ‘There was a dad who left his kids in the car,’ he says, ‘in the burning sun, before literally running away. Took us two hours before we found him.’

‘Oh no.’

‘Yeah, it was painful. The kids are gonna be okay, but… It reminds me that Declan is a really lucky kid.’

‘Do those kids have someone to go to?’

‘Yeah, an aunt,’ Walter says, rubbing his face. ‘Come here, princess.’

I wrap my arms around his neck, giving him a kiss on his lips. ‘I missed you.’

Walter smiles. ‘I missed you too. You have no idea how much it means to me to see you two in the yard, waiting for me. Especially after a shitty day like this one.’

‘You know you can always call me,’ I say. ‘Really, I always want to listen to you. You before anyone else, okay?’

He nods. ‘Have I already told you today that you are a very amazing mother and how lucky I am?’

I shake my head. ‘Nope, not today.’

He pulls me on his lap and gives me a peck on my forehead. ‘Just everything you do and say to him… It’s like you always know exactly what to do and you stay so patient and kind.’

‘Oh, Walter, that’s too sweet. I can guarantee: it’s all because you stayed—or at least pretended—to stay calm. Had you not done that, I would absolutely freaked out every time Declan had a funny breathing.’ I ruffle through his hairs and ask: ‘Have I been good to you as well?’

‘What kind of question is that? Of course you have. I’m so lucky that I have you and you and I have a family. There is no one else in the world I would rather have with me for important events.’ He places his hand on my sides, pushing up my shirt. ‘Give me a kiss, princess.’

I willingly oblige and press my lips on his. ‘I love you, Walter.’

‘Oh, I love you too. I want your honest opinion and really be honest, okay?’

‘Okay,’ I chuckle.

‘What do you say if you and I have another one?’

‘Another what?’

‘Kid.’

My eyes widen. ‘Really?’ I ask. He actually wants another kid with me? I mean, I always figured we would have more than one kid, but that would be in the future a little bit further away.

But already another one?

‘Yeah and I mean, if you’re not ready, then I totally understand and I won’t bring it up until you are ready, but I personally would love it.’ He smiles and adds: ‘I mean, two of the most beautiful babies running around here? Together with my beautiful girlfriend, who I’ll make my wife someday?’

I should not be squealing, yet I totally do. ‘Walter, honey,’ I say with a chuckle. ‘I’d love to have another baby with you.’

He starts to smile even wider. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, really. I’d love for Declan to have a few brothers and sisters.’

‘A few? How many you thinking about?’

‘I don’t know. How about three kids? Or four?’

He starts to laugh. ‘Then you and I better get some practice in with some baby making,’ he chuckles. ‘Because this time it’s not gonna be an accident.’

I slap him across his chest. ‘Walter, what did I say about that word?’

‘Oh, right right.’ He gives me a kiss and says: ‘Declan wasn’t an accident, he was our surprise baby. Forgot.’

I place my forehead against his, wrapping my arms around his neck. ‘Forever and ever, right?’

‘Forever and ever.’

[suckmysupernatural]

Meal Plan

Word Count: 2k, one shot

Pairing: Jensen x Reader (Platonic-ish)

Warnings: talk of meal plan (obvi), eating disorder tendencies, vomitting, unhealthy relationship, body insecurity, manipulation

Summary: You are so happy to return to the set of Supernatural and film with your best friends, Jared and Jensen. You feel and look great, although your boyfriend Jeff begs to differ. Jensen soon finds out about the unhealthy ways you have been losing weight. 

A/N: Hey, y’all! This is my first Jensen fic, let me know what you think!! 

You couldn’t help that you had a bounce in your step as you made your way onto the lot. The hiatus was finally over, and it was time to start filming. You had been on Supernatural for a little over three seasons now, playing a badass hunter that had teamed up with the Winchesters. It was the job you had always dreamed about. 

Your first day on set, you knew that you were a part of something special. Right away the cast and crew welcomed you with open arms, especially your new co-stars. Jared and Jensen had become two of your best friends, ones you had missed a lot over the break. You lived in Austin like the boys, but your busy schedules always seemed to conflict. You had only one dinner with them over the summer at Jared’s house. Seeing Gen and the kids was a blast... if only you could do it more often. 

“Y/N!” a deep voice cried out. You spotted the boys almost immediately, jogging up to them. Jared wasted no time picking you up into a tight hug.

 “Jar… I can’t breathe,” you whined before he set you down. 

“Sorry, Y/N. It has just been forever since I’ve seen you!” Jared gushed. You turned over to Jensen, who hugged you as well. Luckily, this one wasn’t bone-crushing.

 “We missed you,” Jensen said, holding onto you. Backing up, you looked at your two friends.

“I know, I know. I was just so busy with Jeff…” both of the men rolled their eyes at the mention of your current boyfriend’s name. “Okay, I know you guys don’t love him, but we wanted to spend as much time together as possible before shooting started up again.”

“Saying we don’t love him is an understatement, Y/N. I don’t get what you see in him,” Jared said. Jared and Jensen had only met Jeff a few times, all of which only made them worry more.

“He cares about me. He takes really good care of me!” you tried to push your point but got nowhere. Both of the men didn’t seem to budge from their opinions. Changing the conversation, the three of you headed over to hair and makeup to get ready for the day.

 --------------------------

After a week of filming, you were exhausted. The days were all long, and you couldn’t wait to get home and sleep all weekend. Walking into your apartment, you made your way over to the freezer to grab some ice cream. You wanted some of your favorite feel-good food. Almost as soon as you had settled down, your phone began to ring. Jeff wanted to Facetime. Answering the call, you let a bright smile fall onto your face.

“Hey, baby!” you said as your boyfriend’s face popped onto the screen.

“Hey. How are you?” Jeff asked.

 “Tired. This week has been pretty brutal,” you responded as you began to dig into your ice cream.

“Are you sure you should be eating that?” Jeff asked, his head tilting to one side.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well… you did put on some weight this summer. I know that you were relaxing and all. But now that you are back at work, I thought you were gonna take better care of yourself. I’m just worried about you is all. I know that looking good for the camera is a big part of your job,” Jeff explained. You put the spoon back into the ice cream and pushed it away from you. “I didn’t say that to make you feel bad! I just care about you; I want you to be healthy and happy with the way you look on screen.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right. I have a scene this week where I wear a tight dress. Should’ve thought about it,” you mumbled. You had wondered if you gained weight, Jeff made it clear that you had.

 “It’s alright, sweetheart. That’s why you have me. I’ll be here to remind you when you need it. I fell for one hot piece of ass that I don’t intend to lose to Tom and Jerry anytime soon,” Jeff laughed. You nodded and attempted to laugh along.

“I guess I just have terrible eating habits now,” you shrugged.

“Well, why don’t I make you a meal plan? Then you won’t need to worry about that. It’ll make each day easier, let you focus on your job,” Jeff offered.

“Um… yeah, sure. That would be great,” you forced a smile. The two of you talked on the phone for a few more minutes before hanging up. You got off of the couch and tossed the ice cream into the trash. You wouldn’t be eating it. Going into your bedroom, you stripped down to your panties and bra before looking into the mirror. Jeff was right; you were looking bigger than usual. Laying on the floor, you began to do sit-ups and crunches until your core was on fire. Only then did you let yourself shower off the day and go to bed.

-------------------------------------------

Two weeks into Jeff’s meal plan and you were already looking better. Jeff had been praising you, telling you how hot you looked now. It was hard to keep up, the meals always leaving you wanting more. A few times you almost slipped up but managed to avoid it. Walking onto the set, you smiled and waved at your friends before approaching them.

“Hey, guys!” you smiled at Jared and Jensen. The two seemed glued at the hip.

“Hey. So, we were thinking about pizza and beer at my place tonight?” Jensen offered. This was a regular occurrence for the three of you, having done so since you started the role on the show.

“Oh, I’m actually on a diet. No pizza or beer for me,” you shrugged, “maybe we can have a movie night one day this week?” Both Jared and Jensen looked confused.

“Diet? Since when have you been on a diet?” Jared asked.

“For a few weeks now. I noticed that over the summer, I kinda let myself go. Jeff has been super helpful about it. He even made me a meal plan so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Isn’t that sweet?” you smiled.

“Let yourself go? Y/N, you look good! Like you always have,” Jensen’s voice was laced with frustration.

“It’s fine, J, you don’t need to try and make me feel better. The meal plan is working great. I mean, I look a lot better now,” you told them before leaving to go to your trailer. Jared and Jensen both gave each other a look. They were worried about you.

 --------------------------

A few days later, you were in line for craft services when you realized none of the options would go along with Jeff’s plan. You poured yourself some tomato soup and grabbed a grilled cheese before heading back to your trailer. Digging in, you knew that you would have to work out extra hard to make up for the calories. Pulling out your phone, you shot a text over to your boyfriend.

Y/N: Hey, babe. Craft services didn’t have anything that I could eat from the plan. Grabbed tomato soup and grilled cheese instead. Hope that’s okay.

Within a few minutes, you got your response.

Jeff: No, that’s not okay. Setbacks will only make things harder for you. You can’t let all those carbs and calories just sit in your stomach…

Y/N: Well, what am I supposed to do.

Jeff: You have to get rid of it. This is what happens when you go off your meal plan. Go to the bathroom and put your fingers down your throat. You don’t want fans to see you as fat, right? 

Looking at your phone, you took a few deep breaths. Your heart was racing as you looked up at your now empty plate. He was right. You didn’t want people to think of you as the fat actress. What if people spread rumors that you were pregnant? You knew what you had to do. 

Getting up, you made your way into the trailer’s small bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, you stuck your fingers down your throat.

 ----------------------------------------

Another week went by and you were messing up your meal plan left and right. At least now you knew what you could do to fix it. You had lost even more weight but knew that you still had a long way to go before you looked like the other actresses on set. 

Today was one of those days where craft services didn’t have anything that Jeff would deem appropriate, so you grabbed whatever you felt like. In your trailer, you ate until you were full before making your way to the bathroom. After being there for a few minutes, the door to your trailer swung open. Before you could do anything, there Jensen was, standing in the doorway of your bathroom.

“Y/N, are you oka - wait, what are you doing?” Jensen’s eyes widened in shock at the sight before him. You quickly got up, flushing the toilet, and wiping your mouth. 

“I think I have food poisoning or something. It made me puke, it’s no big deal,” you shrugged before trying to get passed him. He stood still, his broad shoulders keeping you from leaving.

“No, that’s not what happened. What I just saw was you with your fingers down your throat. Why would you do that?” Jensen’s voice was laced with pain. You looked down at the ground, unable to meet your best friend’s eye.

 “I needed to…” you whispered.

“What?”

 “I...um… I went off my diet,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I needed to fix it.”

“Y/N….” Jensen pulled you into a hug, not letting go. “You don’t need to do any of that. You are perfect just the way you are.”

“But Jeff…”

 “Jeff?” Jensen leaned back to look you in the eye, his hands on your shoulder, “did Jeff tell you that you need to lose weight?”

“He just wants what’s best for me! He wants me to look good. Jeff keeps me on track.”

“Wait… did he tell you to make yourself throw up,” Jensen asked. His eyes were full of worry and you couldn’t look at them without feeling shame. 

“He suggested it when I fucked up the first time… it wasn’t supposed to be more than once. I just kept messing up,” you could feel the tears start to gather in your eyes. Jensen pulled you into the hug again, one hand on the back of your head to stroke your hair. It didn’t take long before you were crying, Jensen holding you as you sobbed.

“Y/N, you are worth so much more than this. You deserve someone who treats you better, who loves you exactly as you are. You are beautiful, talented, smart. Please, believe me when I say that.”

“I want to J, I do. It’s just… I don’t,” you looked up to meet his gaze. Jensen used his thumbs to wipe the tears from your eyes and held your face.

“That’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll tell you every day until you do. Y/N… you need to leave Jeff. He is hurting you.”

“O-okay. You’re right. Can you stay with me while I call him?” you hoped that Jensen would say yes. It felt too hard to do on your own, after everything. 

“Sweetheart, I will always be there for you,” Jensen tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

That night you called Jeff, breaking things off. Before he even had the chance to insult you, Jensen was taking the phone from you. He told Jeff off before hanging up the phone and repeating all the kind words he had said earlier in the day. 

Jensen had told you the truth. Every day he made sure to remind you how amazing you were. He supported you through it all, helping you throughout your recovery. It wasn’t easy, undoing the damage that Jeff had done, but you weren’t in it alone.

[izcana]

“Darling, I’m Home!”

Disclaimer: I do not Teen Wolf. That credit goes to Jeff Davis. The only thing I own is the plot line. Enjoy! If I'm being honest here I might as well mention that I've never watched a single episode of Teen Wolf (:p) but I've read plenty of fanfiction about it and I did some research on fandom about the plot – hopefully, it's enough! It's canon-divergent anyway so I don't think it'd be that big of a deal but if anything (vital)'s wrong, please tell me so I can fix it straight away!

***

"When are you going to tell them you're married?" Laura asked after dodging yet another crowd of fans. "You can't go on like this forever, you know." Laura was probably right. She's always right. Yet Derek couldn't do it. Separating his personal life from his acting career was the best solution and he was standing by this. Derek felt bad for Stiles, his lovely mate, at home all alone and caring for the precious pups in his stomach. Despite all this...

"I can't, Lo," Derek mumbled, opening the door to the Camaro.

"Why not, Derek?" She demanded, pulling the door angrily, though not with her full force, of course. Being an Alpha wolf meant that she could have ripped the door off its hinges. "Cora announced her marriage to Scott a couple of months ago and she's doing just fine. Plus, if you tell them you're mated, the fans will leave you alone. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"It is, okay, Laura?" Derek glared at the window, pouting at nothing. He hit the horn, though it felt more like a tap to his Alpha senses. "Cora's...different."

"For your information, Der, she's also a very sought after actress. And don't go on saying how you're more popular than she is."

"I wasn't going to," Derek replied simply, rolling his eyes.

Laura flipped her hand dismissively and glared into her phone. Derek scowled at the car in front of him and beeped his horn.

"At least talk to Stiles about this, Derek," Laura implored, her eyes softening at the mention of the said Omega. There was practically no one in the Hale family who disliked Stiles; Talia dubbed him the most adorable little boy and though he wasn't the "ideal" Omega, no one (who mattered, at least) cared and loved Stiles all the same. Derek felt a wave of shame run over him once he remembered how much he's been neglecting the pregnant little were-fox. "He'll probably want you to stay with him. He's pregnant, Derek! Start thinking a little about your mate, shall we?"

"I am, Laura," Derek denied, though he agreed that he really ought to pay more attention to Stiles.

"Your heartbeat skipped. You agree with me, so stop lying!" Laura scolded. Derek silently cursed Alpha werewolf hearing.

"Whatever, Laura, I'll think about it." And that was that. End of the conversation.

***

Derek fumbled for the keys of his apartment, having finally shaken Laura off. "Darling, I'm home!" He called into the loft. Blank silence followed.

Derek wasn't too worried about it since he could hear his mate's heartbeat beating peacefully in the background and the peaceful smell of Stiles. Under normal circumstances, Stiles would already be awake since were-fox hearing was very sensitive (Derek could think about a million other things that were sensitive about his mate but that's beside the point) despite the fact that the bedroom was soundproofed. It only worked for were-wolves and were mainly for the benefit of the Hales, who dropped by at some of the most absurd times. However, after the pregnancy was discovered, Stiles had been sleeping a lot more and he seemed tired every day (not that Derek could blame him).

He stepped into the loft quietly, making sure to drop off his shoes next to the door as his mate had apparently cleaned the hallway earlier today, even though Derek had told him time and time again not to tire himself out – it wasn't good for the baby. Stiles refused to listen, though. Stiles was Stiles.

Perhaps, Stiles might actually listen to him when the pups are almost due...

He tip-toed around the enormous leather sofa Talia had insisted they get and into their shared bedroom. He took off his clothes carefully and stealthily walked to the washroom, turning the shower console to low so it wouldn't disturb Stiles, even though Derek was certain he'd wake soon if he hadn't woken already.

By the time Derek wrapped a towel around his waist and crept into his bedroom to get his clothes, Stiles was already awake, his slightly red-rimmed and puffy amber eyes staring sleepily back at Derek, nonetheless alert. "When did you get back?"

"Half an hour ago," Derek murmured gently. Stiles nodded and stretched, showing off the beautiful milky white skin and the swollen stomach that was full of Derek's pups. Derek and Stiles' pups. "Do you want anything to eat?" Derek now knew from experience that Stiles was always hungry and came up with the most peculiar food combinations.

"Yes, please," Stiles answered predictably. "Can you get some gherkins with whipped cream?" That was one of the "favourites".

Derek went to get the said "favourite". When he came back, Stiles was on the phone.

"Huh? Oh, that. Pause. No, no, he hasn't told me. Pause. Who told you? Pause. Oh, typical. Pause. I'll ask him. Pause. I'm wonderful, thanks. Pause. Bye, Cora! Visit whenever you want!"

"What did Cora want?" Derek asked, setting the cup of herbal tea and the plate of gherkins with whipped cream on the table.

"She told me that you and Laura talked about your career," Stiles said, scarfing down the gherkins. "When were you going to tell me?"

Knowing fully well that lying to Stiles was impossible (were-fox hearing and Stiles being Stiles) he admitted "Never."

"That's what I thought. Cora seemed to think so, too."

"Do you want me to?" Derek asked softly.

"Honestly? This is selfish of me, but I do. I wish you'd be around for my pregnancy. By the pace we're going at now, you won't even be there for the birth!" Stiles cries, and to Derek's horror, promptly burst into tears. He clutched at Derek weakly, as if willing for him never to leave again but not having the strength to stop him.

"It's not selfish, Honey, you're allowed to feel what you feel," he murmured softly into Stiles's peach-scented hair.

"But..b-but..." Stiles stuttered.

"But nothing. If that's what you want, Sweetheart, I'll tell my boss tomorrow to put me on paternal leave."

"I don't want to get in the way of your work, Alpha." That's when Derek knew Stiles was completely gone. He only called Derek "Alpha" if he was in heat or upset. "You seem to like acting so much, I didn't want to slow you down," he added pathetically.

"You're my mate, Stiles," Derek said, sighing. "You don't 'slow me down', you inspire me. Where did you get that idea? I love you."

"You're a movie star! Why are you still with me? You can get someone so much better," Stiles moaned sadly, clutching his stomach when the baby started kicking at his kidneys.

"Listen. I love you, only you, never anyone else, okay?" Derek said, staring straight at Stiles, who was avoiding his eyes.

"Okay," Stiles whispered, his eyes shining with tears. One slipped out and Derek wiped it away. "I believe you."

***

Should I keep doing a/b/o stories? Please tell me in the comments – I've been very interested in a/b/o recently but I didn't know whether I was good at writing it? If you want me to, I can definitely continue; practice makes perfect!

There will be a sequel in response to requests on Archive of Our Own.

Epilogue 

[sailorsanghelios]

Some backstory fic for my Au’ra WOL

I meant to get this done during Au’ra April but uhh -looks at calendar- yeah that didn’t happen. But some backstory stuff for my Thel Vadam inspired Au’ra, Seiro, who I’ve posted stuff for before.  Uhh CW for fantasy racism stuff and imperialism, cause there’s a lot of Garlemald focus in this. 

----- It was a beautiful day, a sunny day, as he rolled down one of the vast hills that rolled across his homeland.

“ you won’t catch me, Papa!”

The tall Au’ra who followed after him, his face was hard to make out, more of a dark blur with horns then anything. And yet he could tell the older man was smiling, “I have never had a man escape me, and I will not let you be the first.”

He had giggled at his father before descending down the hill. His father had immediately broken from the jovial mood, “Seiro be careful!”

He had landed  right into the rice paddies below, gasping for breath as he re-emerged soaking wet. His mouth was barely above the water, his limbs and body were weighed down, and his head felt like it was being shoved down into the water below.

He looked up, hoping to see his father about to rescue him, and all he saw on the hill above before his head submerged a final time was a sleek soulless black uniformed figure.

“Seiro..”

Wait, that was…

—-

Seiro jolted awake, the fields of Doma had disappeared, into a stark white bedroom, the beautiful Doman sun faded into the cloudy overcast of Garlemald barely seeping into the window.

And Lord Veritas was peering over him looking very displeased. “Seiro aan Veritas” He had a tendency to use his full name, when he was displeased, emphasizing the “aan” portion. He motioned with his finger to get up, and Seiro didn’t spare a second, instantly getting up, and bowing to his benefactor.

“You’re still wearing your nightshirt… did you truly sleep until the afternoon, and did nothing productive all morning? Knowing I'll be arriving home today?” 

Seiro awkwardly crossed his arms around the offending garment in embarrassment, “I’m sorry Lord Veritas. The servants must not have awoken me.”

Seiro did suspect perhaps it was deliberate to make him look like a fool. During Lord Veritas’ two month stay in Bozja, Seiro had in essence been left in charge of the manor, a very large responsibility for any twelve year old, let alone a non Garlean one. And one the servants had obviously resented. He had heard them whispering, when they thought he couldn’t hear him, calling him names and talking about how degrading it was to have to serve him, even though Seiro himself only depended on them for necessities. 

“Only a child would sleep that long. A baby even. I am very disappointed in you.”

“Yes Lord Veritas.”

Lord Veritas gave out a sigh, almost dismissively “I hope you at least had good sleep. You looked quite intense. What were you dreaming about?”

Seiro realized this was a prompt for him to speak, and he had no idea how Lord Veritas could read him so well, and know what he’d been dreaming about, “I was dreaming about Doma...and my father- the samurai I think…” If he attempted to lie he knew that Lord Veritas would call him out on it.  And he never liked him referring to his father, the man who had killed Sosius eir Veritas. His son.

“You think?”

Seiro looked down to the ground, “... I.. I can’t remember. His face...or anything...”

“That is what I hoped for. He should only be remembered as a cautionary tale.” Lord Veritas looked at him from head to toe, “Stand up straight, boy,”

Before the command was even finished, Seiro did so, and Lord Veritas genuinely seemed surprised and caught off guard, “You’re taller than me.”

This shocked Seiro but there was no denying it. It was only by an ilm. “I think I grew while you were gone.” He sounded apologetic about it. The servants had been side-eying him a lot, for what felt like an unending appetite, and his clothes had felt unusually tight. As much as he didn’t want to be a burden, he’d probably have to ask for new ones. 

Seiro was surprised by what followed from Lord Veritas, “It suits you. You’ve grown so much over the past five years, Seiro. I never thought I’d miss that little boy so much. Those little horns..” Seiro couldn’t help but crack a small awkward smile, as Lord Veritas stroked the end of one of his horns, that were not quite as little and were beginning to sharpen and harden into their adult forms, “ And I was thinking about that, and you the entire time I was in Bozja.”

Seiro tilted his head in confusion.

“ I brought an orphan home with me. With all the success I had with taming you, I thought perhaps I could be of help to another aan child.”

“...what?” Seiro’s voice cracked childishly, “ Lord Veritas I’m.. are you sure?”  It was a rather bold question to ask, but Seiro also knew he wasn’t exactly taken in by choice. If his father, no if the samurai, hadn’t killed Lord Veritas’ son, then he probably would never have been noticed by him. “What will the senators think? I know they already-”

“ Do not concern yourself with such things. It isn’t your lot to worry about Garlean politics. Now make yourself presentable. You don’t want our new...resident to know how lazy you are, do you?”

“I’m not-” he began protesting, but then the glassy cold gaze silenced him, “Yes Lord Veritas.”

‘Make a good first impression.”

---

Seiro had come down, half an hour later, ready to prove himself to whatever interloper this was. 

All dressed up, and hoping that no one would take notice of how ill fitting his clothes were, Seiro made his way into the dining room, barely getting a look at the small hairy figure before he heard a  metallic clang and he was suddenly pulled back, shouting in pain and surprise. 

The little interloper turned around and began laughing, uproariously, as Seiro realized in mortification, that his horn had become caught into one of the light fixtures on the wall. He began pulling at it in vain, though from behind he was unable to figure out how to unstick it. 

Lord Veritas had gotten up, sighing, almost too dramatically, and walked toward Seiro, almost effortlessly freeing his horn. “I told you to make a good first impression.” he hissed.

“I didn’t mean to I-” he felt his face flush as the little one kept on laughing at him, “What are you laughing  at?” he demanded. 

He had assumed when Lord Veritas first entered his bedroom, and announced this new housemate, that it’d be another Au’ra. He had hoped it’d be another Au’ra, he never expressed it, but it made him sad sometimes the only time he ever saw his own kind was when he looked in the mirror.  But this little creature, covered in fur, was obviously the farthest thing from an Au’ra. He had never seen one in person, but he knew from his lessons on the many provinces and peoples of Garlemald, it was a Hrothgar. In fact he should have expected it, the Hrothgar were the natives of Bozja. 

“Seiro, don't be a bully. Trajan has had a long journey, and is still adjusting to a new place.”

“I don’t care. I will not be laughed at. Especially not by a little kid.”

“Then maybe don’t be so stupid looking.” 

The smug little face on the furry little creature made Seiro’s blood boil, but he was stopped by a placating hand

“ Don’t be so clumsy, and watch where you’re swinging those horns of yours,” Lord Veritas said, barely even blinking at the fuming preteen. He turned back to Trajan, “I'm sorry, boy. Seiro is used to being an only child. Even before he came into my care, he was a very pampered and spoiled only child. I’m sure he is willing to learn to cooperate though. Aren’t you Seiro?” Seiro found himself cringing as Lord Veritas patted his back. 

“...yes Lord Veritas,” Seiro felt very overwhelmed by this, and he still felt groggy enough from his sleep that his patience was thin.

Seuro sat down, in his usual spot next to Lord Veritas, and across from Trajan.  He avoided eye contact with the Hrothgar, but he could hear the sounds of Trajan eating loud and obnoxious. It surprised him that Lord Veritas wasn’t scolding him, he knew if he ever ate like that he’d be in deep trouble. 

Ifa anything Lord Veritas seemed to encourage it, “I’m glad to see you have such a hearty appetite.” He looked over at Seiro, “I remember with you, how long it took for you to accept a meal from me. Or to do much of anything really. I genuinely thought you were trying to hunger strike me. But you gave in eventually.”

Those eyes were bearing into him again, and Seiro shifted awkwardly,“...I think I thought if I didn’t listen to you, you’d send me back..” His memory was faded, but he still vaguely could recall the way he smashed plates of food given to him, and screamed and cried, and refused anything given to him. His seven year old mind had hoped and prayed that maybe if he was terrible enough, he’d be sent back to his mother as a lost cause. 

“Why would you want that?” Trajan snorted. 

Seiro looked down at his plate, feeling the judgmental stare of the younger boy, and simply shrugged. It wasn’t something that he could actually put into words. Both because it’d upset Lord Veritas, and honestly...he wasn’t sure. 

Lord Veritas seemed to have an answer though, “Pride clouds judgement. I’d say that it came from youth, but knowing the samurai...perhaps Seiro simply didn’t know better. A habit I am very glad I broke you of before it was too late.” 

Lord Veritas’ dark eyes always looked so glassy, and the way Seiro’s own gold eyes seemed to reflect back when he looked back in their inky abyss, always made it feel like he was being looked through. His food felt like it went down him painfully, and any hint of appetite felt like it was gone. “ I want to go.”

“Whatever for?”

“He looks sad.'' Trajan’s helpful reply, there seemed to be a curl to his overly toothy expression, that made Seiro’s face flush with shame.

“I'm not hungry I guess and umm..” he racked his brain for an excuse, “ the history tutor is coming tomorrow, and I want to study.” 

“Indeed he is. I am interested to hear your progress in your studies.”

Seiro found himself stumbling nearly tripping and invoking more amusement in his misery, as he bolted from his seat and out of the dining room, barely hearing Lord Veritas’ admonishments not to run indoors before he ran up the grand staircase and into the safety of his room, away from prying eyes. 

His room had always felt like both a sanctuary and a prison to him. Before Seiro had been brought to the manor it had been a guest room for dignitaries and even five years later it retained that feeling of being comfortable but devoid of personality. Truly the only sign of a child living in this room, was the pile of school books Seiro was digging through before finally sitting in his plush reading chair.

He was embarrassed to realize any attempt to refresh his knowledge on the properties of ceruleum engines led to his vision blurring with tears. Especially when he heard his door open with no knock before which could only be one person.

“Seiro, what was that display at the table? And why are you crying?”

“ I don’t know”, he choked out, “ I just don’t know. “

Seiro looked up and was surprised to see the look on Lord Veritas’ face was rather sympathetic as he knelt down and hugged the boy, making him drop his book in shock.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be so hard on you Sosius, I just-“ he realized the name he just said and suddenly disengaged from Seiro, revealing a face of realization and genuine anguish.

“ Lord Veritas…” Seiro said softly, “I’m sorry..,”

He shook his head, as he stood up straight, “Don’t be my boy. You did nothing wrong.”

“But my father did.”

The words felt heavy in the room as if they were echoing in a cave. But Lord Veritas responded very gently, “you are not your father. And besides...I will hate your sire until the day I die, for what he took from me. But at the same time, how can I really fault him? My only son was a fool of a man, who thought he was invincible. Who poked a trained samurai, one of the greatest warriors in Doma, until he broke. And Sosius was not strong. He was rather sickly in fact at least in his childhood. He could barely exert himself without nearly suffocating himself to death. It wasn’t until we conquered more territories, learned more about the magical cures of these places that he became more healthy. But certainly not healthy enough to be in the Imperial Legions. And he always resented that, and for some reason he kept on being rewarded for how bloodthirsty he was toward the aans. He desperately wanted nothing but to prove himself.  And someone finally had enough of it and ran him through.”

Seiro had never heard Lord Veritas speak much about his son, let alone so candidly, and he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be offensive and get him in more trouble.

“I’ll be honest by the time he died, I hadn’t talked to that boy in years. I never saw eye to eye with him. I dare say I couldn’t stand him, and he felt the same toward me. But he was still my son. My heir. And how he turned out, I only had myself to blame.” He gave a wistful sigh, “His mother had died when he was so young, and I poured myself into my work, barely able to even look at the boy. And then when I finally did I hated what I saw, but there was little I could do to ever influence him,”

At this point, it was as if Lord Veritas wasn’t even looking at him, and suddenly his eyes focused back on Seiro, “I will say you are a much more agreeable child then Sosius ever was, with much more promise.  If you were a Garlean by blood, you’d go very far. And that's part of why I took in another boy.”

Yet again Lord Veritas’s eyes seemed to wander around the room, past the still sniveling and confused boy, “I’ve been alive a long time. I remember before the empire was ever an empire. Back when my family’s title of “Lord” still meant something. But at the same time it also meant nothing, because Garlemald meant nothing. And yet as we expand, I find myself wondering why we don’t allow the Domans, or the Bozjans, or the Ala Mhigans, and all the others, have the same opportunities we do. Everyone is so quick to forget how we were once on the bottom. No matter how I train you, and no matter how much skill you have, you will never have the opportunities my foolish son had. And that’s quite a shame.``

“... Is that why you took me in as a ward? You saw potential in me?”

Lord Veritas shrugged, “I’ll be honest, my boy. I was angry. That the samurai killed himself and escaped the consequences of his actions of killing my son. Or at least escaped them coming from my own hand. I wanted justice. And you were that justice. He took my son away, so his son is now mine. That was my thought, when I met you. An eye for an eye.”

Seiro shifted uncomfortably. It did seem like a fair exchange, in theory but… it still made him uncomfortable to realize he was essentially collateral. 

“...but then I saw you as another opportunity, to not repeat my mistakes that I made with Sosius. And then I became fond of you.  And I find myself wishing you could have been my trueborn son. And I feel the same toward Trajan, from my time meeting him.”

“Thank you Lord Veritas. It means a lot to hear that.”  Seiro said in shock. 

Lord Veritas sighed, “And I probably should have told you before picking the boy up. I’ll be honest another reason I did so was I always worried you were lonely. It was always so hard to find anyone in the Senate or the Ministry, who didn’t just view you as some pet pro of mine, let alone anyone who’d allow any sort of play date with their child. And now you’re too old for such things. But what kind of life could you be having, just reading,studying, and training all day. You and Trajan can give each other companionship, and can understand each other. Both as children, and as aan.”

“I’m already happy, Lord Veritas.” Seiro said, “I’m fine being by myself.”

“And that's why I didn’t tell you. I knew that’s what you’d say. But give the boy a chance will you? Maybe apologize to him for your behavior.”

Seiro wanted to protest, for he had done nothing wrong. That little furball had been the one who had humiliated him in the first place. But he knew better than to argue. ‘I’ll do it-”

“Do it now.”  The words were firm. And final.

------

The little Hrothgar’s room was similarly sparsely decorated as Seiro's, perhaps even less so. It still had that smell of dust to it that Seiro still distinctly remembered his own room having when he first entered it five years before. 

Trajan was busy drawing, the childish scrawls that were incomprehensible reminded him a lot of the drawings Seiro did when he was younger. It was a good way to pass the time in this house.

“What is that?” Seiro asked, trying to break the ice.

Trajan looked up, frowning at him, before covering the paper up. “Go away.”

“ Is it from Bozja?” As a child, especially when he first arrived, Seiro had found himself drawing things from Doma, such as the tigers that his father had brought home before as trophies, or the sheep that sometimes strayed too close to their settlement before their shepherds hurried them off.  

The boy glared at him, making a face similar to the fury that had been frozen on those tigers Seiro’s father had brought home long ago, “ I’m just drawing, it’s none of your business.”

“What’s Bozja like?” Seiro asked, trying a different approach, “ I know it's one of the oldest territories, so you’ve always been Garlean right? Where are your parents?”

The boy’s face contorted, focusing more on his drawing than on Seiro, “What sort of question is that? Dead of course. I think. I never really knew them. And that's pretty normal in Bozja. I had an uncle, but he just left me at the orphanage a few months ago. I was lucky they had a bed. I don’t know where he went.” 

Seiro was shocked by how nonchalant Trajan was, as if he were simply discussing the weather. “I’m so sorry I… I lost my father… and I don’t know what happened to my mother.”

It was easier for Seiro to process the loss of his father. He knew it happened, he knew the man was dead. But the last time he’d ever seen his mother, she was screaming and pleading, after the Garleans had torn him from her arms. And for her husband’s crimes, she too had lost everything, all of her beautiful hair pins and kimonos, all of the status that came from marrying into the Byakuyas, their ancestral home itself, and of course her only son. And the older Seiro got the more grim he realized her probable fate was. In many ways, it was easier just to not think about her. 

“Lord Veritas told me everything about you. You’re not like me, so shut up.”

Seiro’s brow furrowed as he crossed his arms, “I came here to apologize for earlier. Lord Veritas wants us to be friends.”

“But you don’t want to be my friend. And I sure don’t want to be yours. So leave me alone.”

Seiro didn’t expect this kind of rejection to hurt so much, but he took a step back, mouth agape.

Trajan continued, “ You just think you’re better than me because you’re bigger than me and have been here longer. You’re no better than all the big boys at the orphanage. You just want me gone, but I’m here, and I’m going to make you gone. Already he likes me better than you.”

Seiro fumed, at this childish logic, “Fine. If you hate me, then I hate you too. I hope he realizes his mistake and sends you back to your shite orphanage!”

The door slammed with an extreme force that echoed through the hall, as Seiro left the room, returning back to his own room, to have a good cry. 

[rosethornewrites]

fic: remember the moments when we were together

Relationships: Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

Additional Tags: Grief/Mourning, Memories, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, wwx needs a hug, Regret, Self-Esteem Issues, Loneliness, Crying, Hugs, Truth, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Father-Son Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort

AO3 link

Part of the try to praise the mutilated world series

Spectre | leaves eddied over the earth’s scars

Notes: The title is again from the poem "Try to Praise the Mutilated World."  I wanted to explore how this would impact SiZhui, who is only just starting to reconnect with his first adopted dad.

------------

SiZhui feels awkward, standing with trays of food under the magnolia tree behind the jingshi. His father had asked him—almost begged, actually—to have lunch with Senior Wei today. The man wasn’t eating or sleeping well.

‘Grief,’ is all Hanguang-Jun said in explanation. 

SiZhui understands grief. He watched his father grieve for 16 years and was blessed to see it end. He himself grieved that same length of time for memories lost to fever and trauma.

It turned out they had been grieving the same person, mostly. Like father, like son. 

But now, as he watches Senior Wei sedately pet a rabbit on the porch of the jingshi, his normally sharp eyes distant and red-rimmed, his face pale… SiZhui remembers he’d seen this grief at the Burial Mounds so long ago, as the man had given up his entire world to protect him and the other Wen remnants. 

He’s so distracted as to not notice SiZhui’s presence, not even when he calls out.

“Senior Wei?”

SiZhui knows he’s been sitting there, unmoving, for probably the entire morning since Hanguang-Jun left to finish preparations for their journey to Yunmeng. Magnolia petals lay against his robes, contrasting starkly with the black fabric. Enough to account for hours.

He moves closer, repeating the greeting, to no avail. 

Surprising Senior Wei is never an excellent idea, would likely result in lunch being all over them. The man has spent too much time despised and fighting to survive, to fail to react if his attention isn’t drawn before SiZhui approaches. Enough of the juniors (including Jin Ling) have learned this by experience. And though the man only moves to defend, never to harm, SiZhui intends for this meal to wind up in their bellies. 

“Xian-gege?” he tries, but again meets no response. 

SiZhui sighs, not sure how to handle this. He went to Caiyi town for the food, ordering Senior Wei’s favorites, and though the talisman he’s attached will keep it warm, he knows it will taste better fresh. He’s even brewed his favorite spiced tea, the one with cardamom, fennel, ginger, cinnamon, and anise—what most in Gusu and especially Cloud Recesses consider far too piquant. SiZhui himself enjoys it with a little milk.

He takes one step closer, and notices something he didn’t before—Senior Wei has tear tracks on his face.

For a moment he’s seven years old again, peeking from the door of his room in the jingshi late at night, listening to his father play what he would later learn was Inquiry, watching him cry silently.

“A-Die!” wrenches from him before SiZhui can get ahold of himself.

He’s not sure whether the words or the tone do the trick, but Senior Wei jerks and turns to him with wide eyes. 

“A-Yuan?”

After a moment, he attempts a smile, but it’s a ghost of what SiZhui knows his smile to be, a mask like the one he wore all those months upon his return, something he hides behind. 

SiZhui places his trays on the porch, abandoning them in favor of wrapping his arms securely around the man who started his upbringing.

“I thought I’d have to call you a-Niang to get your attention,” he jokes.

The Yiling marketplace story represents the one time his fathers were together with him as a child, and he hopes to startle a laugh from Senior Wei. 

He is disappointed. The smile becomes a shade less forced, but only briefly. 

“Sorry, a-Yuan. How long were you calling for me?”

SiZhui reaches up to dab at his cheeks with a sleeve. He wants so badly to address Senior Wei’s behavior, but he doubts he’ll get him to eat if he does. 

“Only a couple minutes. I came to eat lunch with you. I even went to Caiyi town for your favorites and brewed your favorite tea.”

He’s unspeakably relieved when he gets a genuine smile from that, even if that smile is still tinged with sorrow.

“Ah, my handsome son is spoiling me so,” Senior Wei teases.

SiZhui laughs and repositions the trays. He pours the tea, then serves him first, then himself, covering the dishes to keep them hot after. Senior Wei’s food is a vibrant red, just the way he likes it, while his own is much blander though still spicier than what is usually preferred in Cloud Recesses. 

The movement of chopsticks from plate to mouth is a win, and he doesn’t mind when Senior Wei leans against him slightly, as though taking comfort in his presence. If SiZhui can offer that comfort, he will. 

Sitting on the wooden patio, eating in comfortable silence with the man he considers his first father, the man who had been lost to them all for sixteen years, is a comfort to him as well.

SiZhui isn’t quite sure how long he takes to realize the only noise is his own chopsticks against porcelain, but when he realizes he turns to find Senior Wei staring into the distance, a morsel of food suspended between chopsticks halfway to his mouth. His bowl is more than half full still. 

“Senior Wei?”

Senior Wei startles, the food slipping through his chopsticks and landing on his robe. He tries to smile again, but SiZhui sees the effort it takes.

“You don’t have to call me so formally,” he finally murmurs, the effort sliding away. 

“So I can call you a-Die? Even in front of the other juniors?”

The ghost-smile flits across his face again, and SiZhui wonders if that’s the most he can hope for right now. 

“Anytime you like. You can even call me a-Niang if you want.” Senior Wei sighs softly, setting his bowl back on the tray. “I’m sorry you went to such trouble for me, but I’m not very hungry.”

SiZhui has a memory of making a specific face at him as a toddler to get his way. Perhaps it’s Senior Wei’s influence at such a young age, but he’s just shameless enough to school his face into a worried pout.

“I’m worried about you, a-Die.”

He’s horrified when it backfires, and Senior Wei sobs. Where before his tears had been almost disturbingly silent, the raw emotion now is heart-rending.

Immediately he abandons his bowl, not even checking to make sure it stays upright, and pulls him into a hug. Senior Wei doesn’t fight it, just buries his face against SiZhui’s shoulder, shaking.

“I’m here, a-Die. I’m here.”

Senior Wei is murmuring apologies almost immediately, but SiZhui doesn’t dare let him go.

“It’s okay to cry, a-Die. You can cry as much as you need to.”

It was something Father had told him once upon finding him hiding to cry, letting him know that tears were not shameful, and the rule ‘Do not grieve in excess’ did not mean one couldn’t grieve at all. In those days, SiZhui didn’t know what he grieved, but Father had cried with him. It had helped.

“I don’t want to burden you,” Senior Wei whispers.

“You’re not a burden! Not ever. Father and I missed you so much all those years.” 

SiZhui is almost afraid to hug him more tightly, he seems so fragile.

“Father played Inquiry all the time,” he tells him, rubbing his back in slow circles. “He never stopped searching for you, even though you didn’t respond.”

From the way Senior Wei stiffens, he wonders if Father never told him that. SiZhui hopes he hasn’t overstepped.

“He never told me that. I never heard it,” Senior Wei finally whispers. “I don’t think I was in any condition to hear it.”

SiZhui feels frozen; there aren’t many reasons a spirit would not hear Inquiry, and one of those is moving on. The others are too horrible to think about. But this is a-Die.

“A-Die… Tell me? Please?”

He almost doesn’t want to know, but he can’t try to help if he doesn’t. He will not let ignorance be an excuse, not with a-Die suffering.

Senior Wei is quiet for several minutes before he finally speaks. “A-Yuan, do you know how I died?”

“Sect Leader Jiang,” he answers immediately. 

It was taught to all disciples, something he finds horrible now, that duty calls to kill a brother if he turns to evil. Knowing the truth of everything and regaining his memories, SiZhui wanted to be angry at Jiang WanYin. Only the man looked at his once-brother with complicated emotions that included longing. He knows it is not his place to judge. 

But Senior Wei shakes his head.

“After shijie… watching the whole cultivation world fight over the pieces of the seal, greedy for power… Everyone was dead, and I thought you were too, and I just didn’t want to exist in this world anymore.” 

Senior Wei shudders, seemingly lost in memory. 

“A-Yuan, I was a suicide. I threw myself off a cliff at Nightless City.”

SiZhui can’t stifle a gasp. He feels like the earth has opened up under him. 

“Lan Zhan tried to stop me, tried to save me, but I didn’t let him. It’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever done to him.” 

His voice hitches.

“I don’t remember the sixteen years I was dead, but I suspect my soul shattered at my death, so I doubt there’s anything to remember. If Mo XuanYu hadn’t forced my soul back together through the ritual, the pieces likely would have eventually just faded away.”

SiZhui hears a sob, and it takes him a moment to realize it’s come from himself. It was too horrible, that a-Die could have gone forever, that Father would forever be without him even in future lifetimes, and that the cost to prevent that was Mo XuanYu’s soul. The grief he carries is so much more understandable now. 

“A-Die, please don’t leave us again,” he whispers.

Senior Wei wipes at SiZhui’s cheeks gently with his sleeve, looking at him with regret. “I didn’t want to come back, at first. But I don’t want to leave now.”

He blurts, “Why wouldn’t you want to come back?” before he can stop himself. 

A-Die’s tears overflow again. “My shijie was dead, my nephew orphaned, my fault. My shidi hated me. I failed the Wens. The sects wanted my head on a platter. I thought Lan Zhan despised me, too. I was alone, and the world sucked, and I’d just cause trouble again. Why come back?”

“Father never hated you,” is all SiZhui can think to say in response. 

He wants to say more, that a-Die doesn’t cause trouble, that he wasn’t responsible for Jiang YanLi’s death or even Jin ZiXuan’s. There’s so much he wants to say, but words escape him. He knows a-Die still blames himself, and there’s nothing SiZhui can say to change that.

“Ah, a-Yuan. I know that now, but I’m, well, an idiot, so that took a while. But that’s why I ran away from Mo manor, and why I wore that mask. I thought nothing good would come from being recognized.”

SiZhui returns a-Die’s earlier gesture, wiping tears from his cheeks. 

“But things are better now, right? Why are you so sad?”

A-Die sighs softly. “Shijie is still gone. Jiang Cheng still hates me. It was so long ago for everyone else, but not for me. For me, it will be her first birthday since her death.”

That a-Die missed sixteen years is an ever-present facet of SiZhui’s life, an absence that spanned most of his life, but sometimes it’s easy to forget the impact on a-Die; he’s only been alive again for less than a year, and much of that time was taken uncovering Jin GuangYao’s crimes and then travelling for a few months alone. 

“That’s why you’re going to Lotus Pier,” SiZhui murmurs, realizing. “I’ll come with, a-Die. So you’ll have both Father and me with you.”

He knows a-Die hasn’t visited his home but once since he came back, that there are painful memories he must deal with. He doesn’t want him to face them, not alone. And while he’ll be with Father, SiZhui knows it can help to have more people, especially since a-Die feels Sect Leader Jiang hates him.

“You’re not alone, a-Die. You’re not.”

A-Die gifts him with a smile, a genuine one, and SiZhui lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“A-Yuan, you’re such a good boy.”

They stay like that, a-Die draped across his lap, and SiZhui remembers once, long ago, Aunt Qing telling him Xian-gege missed his sister. He remembers lotus seeds and blossoms, and a-Die barefoot with a smile. The memory is vague, pieced together flashes, but it’s there. 

Lotuses had grown in Burial Mounds. Surely they could grow in Cloud Recesses, perhaps in one of the grassy areas behind the jingshi, somewhere a-Die could look and be reminded of his sister, even though she’s gone. While at Lotus Pier, he’ll learn how to grow lotuses. He’ll find out what kind a-Die would like best, even if it means talking to Sect Leader Jiang about it.

SiZhui glances down and finds that a-Die has fallen asleep against him, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced than usual, and he resolves to stay still until Father comes, to let him sleep.

Maybe later, together as a family, they can get a-Die to eat more, help him through his grief, remind him he’s truly not alone.

He won’t ever be alone again.

[glamrockmonarch]

The Best Friend's Wedding

Present day!Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: The one in which R!Reader and Roger get married but it’s also a description of how R!Reader and B!Reader became friends.

Warnings: Slight angst at the beginning but then it is all fluff, I swear.

A/N: I kinda imagine B!Reader spends a lot of time in Scotland (we shall get more on that soon)... I am not a big fan of weddings for some reason, but I wanted to give R!Reader out there a beautiful story too! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! 

|  Guide to The Original Timeline  |

• 7 hours before the wedding

"Oh, come on!" The brunette smiled at her best friend, a coffee cup in her hand. 

“I am not making a fuss!” The young bride cried into the air throwing her head back. 

“It’s nothin’! A tiny pimple, no big deal really...” Her friend tapped the r. 

“Are you gonna talk like that from now on?” The annoyed blonde turned back to her friend from the image bothering her in the mirror. 

R!Reader bit back a smile and opened her eyes wide at the other woman in her hotel room. 

The two stood facing each other in their pajamas, staring as one made fun of the other first thing in the morning. 

“You don’t have to be mean about it.” She blushed, taking a step back and clearing her throat to remind herself of the usual way in which she spoke. “I spent almost an entire year working with Scots, something had to stick, right?” 

“History!” R!Reader stuck out her hip and brought her hand to her side. “You are the poshest little thing since Regattas!”  

“Ugh, that’s nonsense!” She shook her head much like her husband often did. “And such a rich comment coming from the one who spent her summer on a boat in Ibiza...”

B!Reader rolled her eyes and strolled around the suite until she could put her coffee down on the small table across the room.

“Roger likes boats, what can I say?” She shrugged. 

R!Reader looked back at herself in the mirror and returned to her primary concern of the morning. A pimple on the side of her jawline. A horrible surprise for her wedding day. She had pictured that everything would go as planned this day; with her hair and makeup getting done right before lunch she would have the chance to really get through her morning routine without any rush. She had invited B!Reader for dinner the night before, she came along with Lola and Rory, but the young Taylors left before it got too late, making sure they would then be in top shape for the long day ahead with being maids of honour and all... 

The only one who stayed behind was B!Reader. They probably should not have stayed up till late...but they did. They definitely did not have to eat crisps at 2 am either. And the opening of a bottle of sparkling white wine each was without a doubt uncalled for. 

“I knew the snacks were a bad idea!” The blonde grunted. 

“Ah, you’ll be fine!” 

While the blonde bride moaned about in the bathroom, B!Reader went back to the room and threw herself face-first into the bed. She was glad just then that R!Reader was not her friend when she got married to Brian, in that case, she would have for sure been sporting a hangover on her way down the aisle. For the time being, she knew she had to call Brian and let him know she was okay. If she knew him, he would have finished his morning routine on the bike by then. 

“Do you know those bastards from the Sun called me “a shameless golddigger with a little mind and not much to offer but a pretty face ”?” I am actually quoting it, they wrote that after we made the announcement.”

B!Reader turned around on the fluffy bedsheets and duvet and looked at her friend with a crinkled nose and low brow. 

There it was: the good reason for her insecurities. The press.

“They know nothing about you!” She sat up, pushing herself with her elbows and then straightening her spine. “Look at us, for instance! I wasn’t sure about you at first... and then when we started talking... I realised just how funny and smart you are! Clever too! R!Reader, you’ve done things I would never dare do... and now you’re here! Don’t let these people who don’t know you put you down - at least not today!” 

The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards. 

“You hated me,” She declared with certain disdain. 

“No, I didn’t hate you...” B!Reader explained shaking her head.

“You didn’t like me,” R!Reader nudged her friend and sat next to her while she agreed on that one. 

The two women looked at the clock on the bedside table reading almost noon. The curtains were drawn closed and the room was still except for the tray of breakfast foods across from the pair, a steaming cup of coffee sat there. Grey lines of warmth drew shapes in the air floating around the elegant china, the French press coffee waited right next to it. 

With a grin, R!Reader looked down at her left hand and had a look at her engagement ring. The large rock shinning in her finger was surrounded by other smaller and similarly glowing rocks. She turned her head and searched for B!Reader’s eyes. 

“What do you mean...things you would never do?” She tilted her head the side, eyes narrowing at her friend’s shock. 

The brunette’s face heated up with blush and she stuttered when she spoke again. 

“Well, what I mean...what I wanted to say is... I-” She cut herself and blinked a few times before sighing and starting over. “What I mean doesn’t sound nice... I would have never cheated.”

R!Reader looked away feeling the weight of disappointment on the pit of her stomach once again. It had been a familiar feeling to her for over a year, although sometimes it still caught her off guard. It was the knowledge that she had been the other woman, and she did not like it...but it was the way it was. Many would judge for sleeping with a married man, touch and be touched by a man whose hands should have already been bound to someone else. Many people thought of her as a nasty woman. A worthless human who hurt people just because. 

These people could not be further from the truth. That whole situation was killing R!Reader slowly. Being the other woman did not mean she would wait for Roger to swing by and fuck. They did get carried away more than occasionally, yet it was not the root of their relationship. They would always speak for hours, sometimes Roger would arrive at R!Reader’s a little bit earlier than they had agreed and he would watch her make dinner, helping the slightest and distracting her the entire time. Some days she would feel ill, or be in a mood and Roger would have to swing by and hold her for a while to soothe her. Some other times he would be the one having a rough day, and the younger one would then let him rest his head on her chest and read for him.  They could spend hours together and not even kiss... she knew that although for many that did not matter as much as the sex did, this need they had to be with each other was the actual cheating. The part that was wrong and that would hurt Roger’s wife. It made R!Reader’s stomach turn, and flip around inside her. She could feel her heart sink in her chest when Roger left in the evenings, leaving her to her quiet flat and empty bed. Her body always fell limp and her mouth went dry when her friends asked about her love life. “You are such a catch, why aren’t you seeing anyone?” Some would say. It hurt even worse when the comments came from Tigerlily or Rufus. She felt responsible, guilty. 

As responsible and guilty as she felt right sitting there next to B!Reader. A woman who fell for a man obviously too old for her and did not care. A woman her age who never cheated. 

“...I wanted to,” she admitted in a whisper, making the blonde’s neck snap back up, her eyes round in shock. “We probably had many chances... with Anita going on tour with her productions and me living on my own...” She shook her head and put her hand on R!Reader’s knee, “I was too scared. I loved him already. But what if he didn’t have the strength to leave his wife? I though... I didn’t want to push him to just- use me? I... don’t know. I figured Brian already had enough on his plate, didn’t need to add more guilt on top of everything.” They looked at each other, “I wasn’t brave enough. Strong enough.” 

“You did the best for Brian, though.” The blonde whispered. “He is such a softy your husband...” 

B!Reader broke into a smile and laughed, nodding with enthusiasm. “Yes, you can say that!” 

After a moment, the bride spoke again.

“You know... in great part, Roger and I didn’t even have sex all the time! People like that to shame me for being his mistress or whatever... but mostly, we did what you used to do with Brian!”

“Hang out,” B!Reader smiled, “have fun.”

“Forget about the world!” R!Reader smiled up at the ceiling.

Her friend giggled and narrowed her eyes at her. “There must have been a lot of touching still.”

The blonde laughed, looking back at B!Reader, she was already leaning forward to stand up. “You know us!”

With a snort, B!Reader rushed her friend so she got into the shower so they could have breakfast once she came out. For the best part of the morning, they chatted and sat back to let the professionals do their hair and makeup. All of Roger’s girls, except for Rory were there that morning too, the older one had decided she would get ready on her own and assist her brothers and father with their own wedding day preparations. 

R!Reader had never been a quiet girl. From a young age, she would get in trouble constantly for being too honest and too vocal about her opinions. it... it took her a few years of practice to read the people around her before speaking up, but even then she knew how to get away with small talk. Everyone buzzing about in her hotel suite was aware of all of this, which made them all think it was odd how she was so quiet and calm today. 

She spent most of that time thinking while she was getting her hair and makeup done. She recalled her last conversation with Roger before his divorce. It had been nothing short of horrible. Their biggest argument yet. A full-on fight. She was desperate, clinging on to anything to stay afloat when it seemed that Roger was not going to go forward with ending his marriage...she felt dirty, broken and used. She called Roger “a disgusting piece of what used to be a man” because she was so hurt. He did not even defend himself, pursing his lips he let her blow like a bomb run out of time. That should have been the end of it; she thought when he left her place looking as mad as he had ever been, that there was no way they would see each other again. 

But Roger came back. 

After a moment, before she even finished calling him names and blaming him for their peculiar situation, Roger realised what the problem was. He saw her constantly closing her large sweater over her body, shielding her chest with her arms, found her eyes shining with tears and he knew. He knew those were not the result of anger but of pain. A pain he caused, there was no use in denying it like he would have done in his youth. So Roger took the verbal beating and left without saying a word. 

They met that same weekend, Roger had dropped the bomb on his wife, and it was not a pleasant thing to do...but at least it helped his relationship with R!Reader. Only a few months later his divorce was settled and the first thing he did was show up at her place with a big rock in his pocket and propose. 

• 3 hours before the wedding

“Earth to R!Reader!” Lola sang, moving her hand before her eyes. “You are so zen today!” 

“Are you okay?” One of her childhood friends said from the makeup chair where she was getting her hair braided. 

“I’m fine!” R!Reader rolled her eyes, “I’m just...” she licked her lips and sighed “overwhelmed.” 

“Aw, that’s alright!” Tigerlily came up behind her and leaned on the sofa to wrap her arms around her shoulders and put her chin on her friend’s shoulder. “It’s a big day!”

“I kinda wish we had eloped...” 

Her mother called her by her full name with a furrowed brow, making the rest of the women there laugh or giggle. 

B!Reader clapped her hands and turned to the bride’s mother. “I guess it’s time to get her dressed...” 

It was not the best day for a wedding, the weather was awful. Rain all day, clouds crowding the sky all afternoon. As R!Reader stepped into the car to get to the venue, she met her father at the door. She looked up for a second and smiled at her dad, shrugging like a child. 

The bright white Cadillac awaited, her father held her for a second and helped her in. With her eyes, at last, ignoring the sky she turned to talk to her dad. A short conversation that put them both in a good mood. From the first time, she told her father that she liked a boy when she was only 5 to highschool dates and the last of them when she brought Roger home and nobody in the family knew why in the world was she dating a man almost 50 years older than her.

“It’s a weird thing... but you were always brave. Always head first into it!” He patted his daughter’s hand. “But you always made sense. You had your way to go about things, still, do.” He paused and looked out the window, seeing the venue appearing ahead, meaning they would have to get out of the car soon. “I trust you know what you’re doing. You are old enough to.” 

R!Reader remained quiet for a moment and stretched out in the spacious car to wrap her arms around her father’s shoulders. 

“Thank you.” She whispered into their embrace. 

A moment later she stepped out of the car and stood at the end of a line with her father by her side. The walk down the aisle went by in a second to her. She watched as the guests sitting down turned their heads, necks stretching, to get a glimpse of her. The long veil covered her face and hands, going further down. She scanned through the big names, artists and famous people in the crowd. Roger could not help himself...the guest list seemed to be getting bigger and bigger every time they sat down to go over wedding details, in the end, they invited 800 people - somehow! 

Roger looked brilliant. In a three-piece burgundy suit, he was also quite happy when his young bride arrived at the temporary altar and winked at him. The two smiling at each other. Her father pulled the veil off of his daughter’s face and kissed her cheek before letting her take Roger’s tattooed hand. 

The wedding was beautiful, both Roger and R!Reader spent the entirety of the ceremony part giggling and stealing glances at each other. R!Reader at some point mouthed a “stop it!” at Rog when he winked at her and made her blush in front of one of the many cameras they had hired to film and photograph the event.  Once Felix stepped forward and brought them the rings, he rolled his eyes at the couple, trust his dad to be fooling around in the middle of his own wedding... although it made sense and bothered no one who realised it: the odd couple had waited for too long to be able to be public and the treatment R!Reader got from the media left a lot to be desired. Now they did not care, and they were paying no attention to anyone else but each other today. Felix was almost completely ignored by the groom and bride, who grabbed the rings and put them on each other’s fingers without taking their eyes from each other. Roger did not bother hiding his smile as he did so, and his bride struggled to contain her joy in a smile through tight lips and gleaming eyes. 

By the time the ceremony came to an end, R!Reader was sniffing, some tears had slipped but she wiped them quickly before turning to her husband. Oh, because they were now married. The knot was tied, and now they were free to not give a fuck about the press together. As it should have always been.  And not one person in the guests’ list was surprised when Roger wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her close. 

She put her arms around his neck and let her right wrist fall on top of the left one as she smiled up at him, grinning in pure joy before he kissed her lips long and hard. People behind them cheered and clapped, and she giggled, pecking his lips to put her forehead against his. 

“I can’t believe it’s done...” She whispered. 

To which Roger replied by saying: “easy as that!” 

She cupped his cheek and pecked his lips again before the finally turned to their guests to walk outside to the smaller bar part of the venue so the planner and his crew could get the salon ready for the reception.  It was in this time that R!Reader and Roger took a chance to go to a different salon and have their pictures taken, first only the couple and then with the maids of honour, all three of Roger’s daughters and B!Reader; and the best men, both Felix and Rufus, plus Adam and Brian.  

The reception started a good fifteen minutes later with the couple being introduced as they came out to perform their first dance, the two stepped out to the piano playing the first few notes of the song the couple chose, the interpreters on stage, as a personal favour to Roger; Elton came through to play one song but not without giving R!Reader a small surprise by bringing his - almost - baby son Taron on stage to sing with him for them. 

“It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside...” Elton sang from the piano as Roger held R!Reader.

She had no idea Roger had arranged for the interpreters of the song to be something else than a good recording... She was over the moon, singing along and holding on to her husband.  The two would not stop singing to each other quietly. 

“I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world”  

The two kissed as the last notes played and their guests clapped around them in an echo they could barely hear.

...

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

V-DAY Gift for @pikablob (OWL HOUSE)

@pikablob hope everyone likes this!

“Luz Noceda, I am the all knowing pan of nap! To succeed in your quest, you must answer one question: What would Eda prefer… Pancakes, or waffles?! MWAHAHAHA!” 

It was 9 o’clock in the morning at The Owl House, but you wouldn’t know it with how sleepy the whole place was: Hooty had not said a single thing the entire morning (a true rarity), still snoring peacefully, King was still sleeping on Luz’s sleeping bag, tail lightly flowing in the wind. 

And then there was Eda; the strongest witch in the Boiling Iles was not much of a morning person, to say the least, and she was snoring loudly, collapsed over her bed as if she had worked hard all night. Well, she hadn’t, but she was exhausted for a different reason: The curse. 

See, Eda was cursed as a child with the not so fun predicament of turning into an owl monster at night, if she did not take a certain elixir every day. This predicament didn’t always hurt, but boy did it drain her energy. And so, she was spread across the bed, clearly in pain. 

And that was why Luz Noceda, precocious witch apprentice and all around good girl, was planning to surprise her mentor with a breakfast in bed. 

There was just one teeny weeny problem: Luz had never actually made breakfast before for anyone. She HAD cooked sometimes with her mother, but her distracted nature was such that she barely remembered how to make any of the breakfasts she made. 

But was something as small and unimportant as having zero knowledge of said subject going to stop Luz? Hardly! 

Having already covered her entire shirt with avocado stains, Luz looked for the thousandth time to see if her avocado toast was not gone, before resuming her attention on the rest of the menu: Combining her favorite Dominican and American breakfast choices, Luz had decided to make an Avocado toast (the toaster had made her jump so badly she had bruised her hand on the floor, but thankfully it was just a scratch!), fried eggs (how fast do those things fry? Probably not fast she assumed), fried cheese (gotta make it melt, like bloooooood, oooooohhhhhh), sausages (Luz had once learned what was inside those things, but she couldn’t help but love their taste. Besides, Eda liked eating gross things that would kill a normal person) and of course, Pancakes!

Luz had all the ingredients in separate pans, which was making it hard to focus: With one hand, she began to see the pancakes rise, making her hungry, so she took a bite out of a stick that she had randomly jammed in her hair. “Tastes like a pop culture reference.”, she thought, grinning.

With the other hand, she made sure the egg was frying. It kept making this sizzling sound she liked, so she started to dance a little to its beat, before pulling two of the strings she had attached to the other pans to see if they were cooking well: The sausages were still swimming pretty with the mini trunks she had made them, and the fried cheese was melting wonderfully, and Luz put a smiley face sticker on it. 

It was going quite well, Luz thought, as she whiffed in the food and grinned in satisfaction: She was actually getting something right for once, and for Eda no less! 

Luz closed her eyes for a moment and thought about the Owl Lady that had taken her in to give her a reason to be taken in by anyone. Luz had only really been here for about 3 weeks, yet somehow, she felt incredibly close to her teacher. Perhaps it was because Eda was cool and wise, as Luz always wanted to be; perhaps it was Eda’s sass and total self confidence in her identity, something Luz wanted but was always shut down for; and perhaps it was something so much simpler… 

Perhaps Luz just wanted a mother who loved her for her. 

Luz didn’t really want to think about any of that stuff, so she tried to shake those thoughts from her head and instead focus on the food, which was starting to smell funny. 

“Oh no!”, Luz thought, getting worried. “I’m about to send Eda’s breakfast to hell!” Luz didn’t want to send anyone to hell! That was the work of the devil! Well, him and survey takers! 

“No time for games… I have to be 100 percent on the job! Nothing can surprise me!”, Luz declared, only to be surprised by the now awake King looking down at her from the top of her head. 

“What’s cookin’, daddy-o?”, he asked, and Luz shrieked, nearly falling down on the floor. King laughed maniacally at this. “YES! YES! I AM terrifying! Quake! Quake at my power!” He then sniffed Luz all over, tickling her with his nose. “YOU MADE FOOD? PLEASE FEED ME! I’LL BE LESS SCARY, I PROMISE!” 

Luz couldn’t help but laugh as she stood up again and scratched behind the demon’s ears. “You’re a VERY adorable demon king, King, but this isn’t for you.” 

King gasped in betrayal. “TRAITOR! I thought you loved me, but I guess I have no friends!”

 Luz then kissed his forehead and he relented. “Fine, I still love you, GIMMIE FOOD!” 

Luz shook her head and giggled, as she finally resumed her work. “No, King! These are for Eda! I want to make her feel better after the rough night she had!” 

King pouted and crossed his arms. “And what makes you think I didn’t have a bad night?”

 Luz wagged her finger at him. “Let’s see: You snuggled me all night!”

 “I CAN’T HELP IT IF YOU’RE HUGGABLE!”

“Quiet, I don’t want to wake Eda up!”, Luz replied, and she feasted her eyes on her work: It seemed so close to being ready! She just had to check if the eggs were fried enough, and those black bits at the end of the egg seemed to tell a good story! 

Slowly and surely, she touched the egg while it still sizzled and… 

“HOOCHIE MAMA I’M ON FIRE!”, Luz cried in pain, as she ran around the room, looking for water for her boo boo on her pinkie! 

King, now very alert, ran to find his band aid kit. “DON’T WORRY, LUZ, I’M COMING!”

Luz was busy running around and around in circles crying in pain as the rest of the food overcooked... And the lightbulb shattered when she accidentally struck it… And Hooty said something VERY RUDE as she bumped into him… And now she was covered with bruises and scratches and a burn... And everything looked bad. 

She almost wanted to sob: Why had she not thought that touching a fried egg on the frying pan as it fried would hurt her? That didn’t make any sense! 

She sighed, looking down with shame: How would this be good enough for Eda? She had totally screwed up. 

King, who had already given her her band aid, sat down next to her and, looking a little sad himself, patted her on the back. “Don’t worry, Luz! I’m sure Eda will like it!” 

“What makes you think that? I ruined everything! She’s probably going to hate it!”, Luz cried, feeling horrible. She didn’t DESERVE Eda, and now she ruined her breakfast! She might as well be kicked out! 

“Now, let’s not overreact! It’s just a slightly burned breakfast!” 

“Your point?”, Luz asked, sniffling.

King wasn’t sure what his point was, he had only wanted to cheer Luz up. Why had he wanted to do that? He was the king of demons! “Well, duh, because I lo…”, he started, and then it hit him. 

Clearing his throat, he looked straight into her eyes. “Luz, why did you want to do this?” 

“To…”, Luz started, not wanting to state her real reason. At least, her MOST real reason. “…To cheer Eda up.” 

“Ok, now tell me: Does Eda care for you?”, King asked, as seriously as possible. 

Luz considered this: did Eda care for her? It didn’t take long to answer. “Yes. Yes she does.” 

King then smiled. “Then she’s going to love this, regardless!” 

Luz stood up slowly, digesting this… And she was soon upstairs with her tray. 

That night had been tough for Eda: She had very nearly transformed again, and after drinking her elixir she had fallen on her back, bruising it greatly. There would be no work today: She could barely get out of bed. Her hands had also been bent in a bad way, so they were sore, and she may have chipped a tooth on the bed post. 

And that was without including the nightmares. 

Of course, Eda being Eda, she wasn’t just going to share that. She had to keep up appearances and be tough as nails! So she tried her best to stand up and not notice the screaming aches in her body. Slowly, slowly, she rose up and twisted her body so it would look sort of normal. She had to look tough, she had to look right, she had to be good enough for… 

“Eda! Good morning!”, Luz greeted enthusiastically, King following close behind. “I gave a pep talk, and I didn’t use the F word once!”, King self congratulated himself. 

Eda smiled weakly and nodded her head, before noticing Luz wrestling with a tray full of plates with food. The smell was a bit odd, almost charred, and the food seemed a bit… 

“Aww, did you burn breakfast for me?”, Eda teased, but with a smile that told Luz it wasn’t malicious. Luz sheepishly smiled, and Eda laughed a little before realizing something:

“Wait… You made this for me?” 

Eda hadn’t been given breakfast since… Since… 

Luz, meanwhile, shuffled at her feet. “Well… I just wanted to treat you. Since you had a bad night and all.” 

Eda hadn’t been given anything like this since she and her sister had… Gone their separate ways. 

Eda was used to caring for herself. It was just how life was. 

…Did Luz care for her? 

Eda was so touched she almost did something drastic, like hug Luz. But instead, she sat back in the bed and said “Well, let’s see if the kid can cook!” Luz put the tray down, and smiled in anticipation as Eda started eating the food. And yes, it was burnt. And yes, Luz had forgotten to put salt. And yes, that was not maple syrup on those pancakes AT ALL. 

But it WAS good enough for Eda. 

“So… Do you love it?”, Luz asked, hopefully, hands clasped together in prayer. 

Eda took a moment to digest the fact that Luz had for some reason gone to all this trouble for her… 

And she smiled. 

“Yes… I love it.”, she said.

 And this time, she let Luz hug her.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Neighbor - Shawn Mendes - Part 2

so on popular demand i decided to continue the story, i quite enjoyed writing this part and there is a part 3 coming as well! 

part 1

masterlist

Like a strong woman I refuse to take two trips to the fridge, so I attempt to take everything I need out with just one turn. My arms are full, I’m trying to keep everything in place with my chin and thought the kitchen island is just two steps away it pretty much seems like I’m not gonna succeed.

“Oh my God!” I shriek as I almost drop the butter, and at the end I reach the island, but I basically just throw everything on it. Proud of myself I fix my shirt and step over to the wall, lift my hand and start knocking on it, making sure it’s heard over there without a doubt.

“Coming!” I hear a shout that makes me smile as I go back to my ingredients.

About one minute later my front door flings open and Shawn’s tall figure walks in with a wide smile on his face as he takes a look at all the stuff in front of me.

“What are we making?” he asks leaning onto the kitchen island, his eyes still roaming all the ingredients.

“Something my mom used to make a lot, nothing special,” I shrug as he glances up at me excited to help me with the cooking.

This has been our little thing ever since out first meeting a month ago. I invited him over when we met in the hallway, he helped me cooking while we talked about basically everything. I told him about myself and then he did the same. I found out that he is Canadian, he has been living here for about two years now and he is a musician, he writes songs, sells them to different artists and helps in the studio works as well. All the songs I heard from him over the wall were his own songs he was working on and one night, when we had a few glasses more of the wine he brought he even sang a few for me. Things have been completely different since we met, we made a habit of hanging out at each other’s place quite often. Anytime one of us is home and needs some company we would just knock on the wall and wait for a response, but Friday has become our regular.

“I don’t really have that much time today,” I add smiling as I take out the onions and hand them to him to cut them.

“What ar- Oh! I completely forgot about your little date tonight!” He hums to himself moving around in the kitchen already knowing his way and where to find the stuff he needs.

I feel myself blushing a bit as I nod. “Are you nervous?” he asks.

“A bit. I think I just feel rusty, I haven’t had a date in years.”

“That I doubt,” he scoffs placing the onion on the cutting board, then he starts cutting it like a pro.

“Why?” I ask arching a brow at him. He peeks at me with a cheeky smile before turning his eyes back to the onion.

“It’s hard to believe you haven’t had anyone asking you out in the past few years. I mean, you are the whole package,” he bluntly says making my eyes go wide.

Shawn has a pretty bare way of talking about things I’m usually anxious about. We have run into topics before that made me blush like a little girl, but I never saw any signs of shame or nervousness on him. But I’m kind of used to it now, I’m just pretending to be shocked most of the time.

“The whole package? What does that even mean?”

“You know. You are funny, kind, pretty and smart. And you can also cook, so if you want to tell me you had no one to run after you, I don’t believe you.”

“Well, you should, because I didn’t. I’m not always as cool as I am around you,” I shyly say as I keep my eyes down.

“Oh, am I just that special?” he asks with the cockiest grin on his handsome face and I can feel myself blushing again.

To be honest I was all over the place when we started hanging out. My crush on him that I had before we met just grew once I saw him and I was having a hard time to hold my feelings and hormones under control. I didn’t want to throw myself on him and ruin a possibly amazing relationship, romantic or friendly, doesn’t matter. I was silently hoping he was feeling the same way about me so I was waiting for him to give me a sign of his interest, but it seemed like he kept everything on a friendly level, so I just gave up. I was never the type who would go after a guy even when he is showing no interest at all and Shawn seemed to be nothing more than just a friendly neighbor for me.

So whenever his comments get a bit more candid or cocky I can’t help but wish they were for real, but then I always think about that I can’t be the only one falling for him and he must have a bunch of girls waiting in line for him at the studio, as they listen to him playing the guitar, because his playing can make anyone fall in love with him. This is why I decided to stop thinking about him that way and when a guy from the coffee shop I usually go to asked me out on a date I gladly said yes in hope to get him off of my mind.

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” I roll my eyes at him. “I was just…” I sigh as I look for the words to tell why my past few years turned out so disastrous in the field of dating, but I don’t know how to describe without sounding too depressing.

“Hey,” he gently says tapping the island in front of me to catch my attention. I look up at him and there is no cocky grin anymore, just kindness and patience. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks,” I quietly say.

We completely ditch the whole dating thing while cooking. Once we are done and both have a plate of the outcome Shawn says goodbye wishing me luck on my date making me promise to tell him everything whenever I get home.

 As I get out of the Uber I’m fighting my tears back. I really didn’t want to be the girl who cries at the back of a stranger’s car, so when I hear the car leave I let a few hot tears roll down my cheeks.

On my way up in the elevator I promise to myself to never go on a date ever and I just realize I was right to shut men out of my life for the past three years. When I reach my floor I’m basically dragging myself in the hallway. Fortunately, I’m not really crying, I wipe the wetness away from my cheeks as I reach my door, but before I put the key into the lock I turn to the door next to mine. I debate for a few seconds if I should see Shawn now or not, but then I decide it’s better not to be alone right now and drown in my depressive thoughts. So I walk over to his door and knock, patiently waiting for him to answer.

I hear him shuffle around and he is also talking to someone, if I’m right. For a moment I regret coming here, because what if he has company? I don’t want to see him with some hot chick, as they are about to get cozy on the couch. But before I could get to the end of my thoughts the door flings open and a smiley Shawn appears in front of me, but the smile quickly disappears when he sees my face.

“What the fuck did he do?!” he asks, his voice is mixed with panic and angst.

“A-Are you alone? I heard you talking, I don’t want to bother you,” I mumble anxiously, still waiting for a girl to appear behind him.

“Yeah, I was just on the phone. Come in,” he tells me holding the door open as I walk inside. His place is just like mine, but mirrored, and his bedroom is slightly bigger than mine with a walk in closet that I envy so much. Looking around my heart calms down as I really don’t see anyone else here, so I walk over to the couch and sit down on the end, hugging my legs to my chest.

“Do you want a tea? Something calming?” he asks from the kitchen and I nod. I sit there in silence as I listen to him make it and then he appears with a mug that he hands to me. “Lavender, it’s great for the nerves,” he comments as I smile at him weakly.

“Thank you.”

“Now,” he sighs plopping down next to me with a serious expression on his face that makes him look so much older than he is. “Who am I beating up exactly? I need a name and I’ll do the rest.”

I chuckle while blowing on my tea. He is so not the type to get into a fight so the thought of him beating someone up is just funny, but also very heroic.

“You’re not hurting anyone, don’t be dramatic.”

“Okay. But tell me, what did this ass do to make you look like you just saw someone kill a puppy?”

I sigh, take a few sips of my tea before setting the mug on the coffee table.

“This whole date was a disaster. First of all, he was twenty minutes late. I stood in front of the restaurant like an idiot waiting for him, but whatever, he arrived and told me he had to check in on one of his friends, so I was like, okay that’s fine. The place looked fine at first, but the service was horrible, really. He only took me there because he had coupons, but swear to God, that food doesn’t worth a penny. But I still tried to keep a smile on and not whine about it. We start talking, it’s all good, but then he starts asking weird questions, like my exes and the stuff I’m into.” “Oh God,” Shawn sucks his breath in staring at me.

“Right? Who wants to talk about exes on a first date and asking if I have any kinks is just… not something I want to discuss over dinner with a guy I’m talking to for the first time for real, instead of saying that one large latte please.”

Shawn chuckles and I also crack a smile on my joke before continuing the story.

“So I somehow dodge these bullets, but then he straight up asks if I wanna go to his place and suck his toes.”

“No shit!” he gasps in disbelief and this was kind of my reaction on the spot too.

“Right?! I was so shocked, I just sat there with wide eyes waiting for him to tell it was just a bad joke, but not. I had to tell him that no, I’m not going to suck his toes.”

“Oh my God, this guy is embarrassing all males alone.”

“Yeah. So I told him that I’m going home and then he had the nerves to start bitching about not giving him any actions after dinner. He told me that I’m a bitch and I’ll die alone. Perfect first date, right?” I laugh bitterly as Shawn is still trying to process what he just heard.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. That was honestly the worst first date ever.”

“Yeah,” I nod.

“And you know what the worst part is?” I turn to him shaking my head no. “Now you have to look for a new coffee place.”

His face is all serious, not even a glitch and I just burst out in laughter. I’m sure his intention with this comment was to make me feel better and I have to say he succeeded. This really was what I needed.

Once my laughter dies down it hits me again. I went out on a date for the first time in years and it was a disaster. I will die alone.

“Hey, don’t blame yourself, okay?” Shawn softly says sliding closer to me when he sees that I’ve fallen back into my thoughts.

“It’s just… This is so shitty. I can’t do this,” I say closing my eyes.

“Do what?”

“This whole… dating thing. I’m too anxious for this. My last boyfriend broke up with me three years ago and told me that I’m too clingy and emotionally demanding. It hit me so hard, I fully isolated myself from all men and kind of talked myself into a state of mind that I’m better alone. But being alone for so long just made me feel worse, so I really thought going on this date would do me good, but oh boy, was I wrong!”

“This is bullshit, don’t judge from this one experience. This guy was the biggest asshole and you deserve better.”

He leans closer and puts his arms around me pulling me to his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist as my face is pressed against him, his cologne fills my nose and I instantly feel better. Closing my eyes I just listen to his steady heartbeat and think about how I want to stay like this forever.

“You are a wonderful human being and any guy would be lucky to date you. Don’t let these idiots bring you down.”

I don’t respond, just hum as I bury my face even deeper into his chest. His hands are running up and down on my upper arm in a soothing way as he rests his chin on the top of my head.

“Hey, how about we have a few drinks, watch a movie of your choice and just forget about your night?” he offers.

“That sounds like the best plan ever,” I chuckle.

[myheadinthecloudsnotcomingdown]

Splinters

I wanted to get on the Chouette! train, which is @ladyblargh‘s fabulous original story. This story is inspired by this post.

Ao3

Connor kept looking back and forth between his partner, who was running in front of him, and the subject he was currently chasing, a witch who was flying above them. They had simply been following up on a lead when they came to the coven district- they weren’t expecting a chase scene! Not that Connor was complaining. In fact, he thought it was actually kind of fun, running through the city streets and seeing the shocked faces of the civilians as they jumped to get out of the way. Connor cracked a crooked smile and would probably have laughed when his partner jumped over a cart, leaving the shocked vendor to stare at her in shock, but he was starting to get tired and his breath was coming in gasps. Racoons were built for sprinting, Connor thought ruefully, not for marathons. Shame that this witch didn’t seem to respect that.

Connor successfully dodged the cart and looked ahead to Eerie. He couldn’t see her face, but he knew that she was probably scowling in concentration. What he could see was her bow, which was bouncing up and down adorably as she ran. She looked up and Connor followed suit. The witch, it seemed, was getting tired and loosing altitude quickly. She was still high up, but she couldn’t clear the tops of the buildings anymore. The witch risked a look back on the gaining detectives, then veered into a narrow alley on her right. Rookie mistake, Connor thought as they followed. Alleys were his natural habitat.

Eerie ran gracefully through the dim alley despite it being cluttered with trashcans and homeless blankets and Connor scrambled after her with just as much speed, albeit with a little less grace. There was a high, weathered wood fence dividing the alley, blocking their way. Eerie jumped, gripping the rough wood with her talons, then vaulted herself over without any problems. Connor moved to follow – jumping up, aiming to grab the top of the fence so he could scramble after her. Unfortunately, Connor was more tired than he thought he was. His hands slapped the wood a full six inches short of the top of the fence and he started to slide down. That was bad enough, but to make it worse, Connor watched in shock as his left glove snagged on a hidden nail and he slid down the fence bare handed. Connor could feel every splinter and chunk of wood as it dug its way into his supernaturally sensitive skin. The feeling in his hand was so strong that he didn’t even notice the pained scream that tore out of his throat.

When Eerie returned, the witch temporarily forgotten in favor of her partner, he found him curled on the ground in a fetal position with his tail wrapped around him, clutching his injured hand.

“Connor! What happened?” She exclaimed.

The racoon looked up at her with tear in his eyes, trying and failing to joke through the pain, “The fence stole my glove.”

Eerie’s eyes widened as she looked between him and his glove, still pinned to the fence by the traitorous nail. She never looked more like an owl than she did when she was shocked, her head flicked back and forth, taking in the whole alley, until her wide eyes finally settled on Connor, who was still huddled piteously on the ground.

“Let’s get you to the hospital.” She smiled as if she had just said the sweetest thing in the whole world.

Connor sat up, but he looked down. “I don’t wanna go…” he mumbled.

“Why not?” Eerie said in surprise. Even the lowest whisper was no match for her hearing.

Connor’s face turned hot. He couldn’t meet his partner’s wide eyes. “They laughed at me.”

“Who?” It looked like Eerie was more than ready to kick the butt of whoever had dared to laugh at her partner. Connor took a deep breath, still stubbornly refusing to look at anything besides the ground.

“They don’t mean to,” the steadiness of his own voice surprised him, the bitterness did not, “But in walks a supposedly hardened detective who spends his days chasing down ghosts, witches, and goblins, but cries and screams the minute anyone touches his hands.” Connor whimpered, “I hate this stupid curse.”

Eerie looked at him with a mixture of surprise and pity. She had never heard her partner so embarrassed, so … broken. Sure, Eerie was familiar with curse induced embarrassment, like when she swiveled her head all the way around on the train, then realized everyone is staring. Or the time there was a rat in her apartment and, well…. She knew she was never telling anyone about that one. But she had never seen those same emotions in Connor. The closest was when he looked mildly chagrined about having to pay for the plate at a restaurant because he had gone ahead and eaten that along with the food, but that didn’t even come close to the torrent of emotion that she saw in her partner today. Conner was still on the ground clutching his hand. Eerie could tell that he was trying not to whimper, that he was embarrassed by his pain, but Eerie could still hear him. She couldn’t make him go to the hospital. Even if the hospital staff didn’t mean to embarrass him, there was no way that they could understand the quirks and trials of being a cursed person. No one could understand besides another cursed. Eerie cared about her partner too much to put him in a situation that would make him even more ashamed, but she also cared about him too much to let him keep suffering.

“I could take them out for you.”

For the first time since he’d screamed, Connor looked at his partner. His eyes were still clogged with tears, so she was a little blurry, but he could still see the soft expression on her face. He wasn’t used to that. Normally she was so strong and fierce, he’d never seen her care so much, if that was even the right word for the expression that painted itself across her face. He didn’t know what else to do, so he nodded. Eerie smiled.

“Let’s go then,” She helped him stand, then grabbed his glove from the fence and handed it to him, “Your house is near here, right? Do you have any medical supplies at home?” Connor nodded. He had added quite a few medical supplies to his collection of objects over the past few months. He knew that Eerie would kill him if he wasn’t taking good care of himself.

Finally left the alley together.

\\

“OW!!” Connor stared at his palm in abject horror as Eerie gently attacked it with tweezers.

“Sit still Connor!” Eerie was beginning to have sympathy for the doctors who had helped her partner before. He was a baby when it came to his hands, even if it wasn’t his fault. She sighed. “It’s only going to hurt more if you keep jerking away.

“I can’t help it.” Connor was crying, “I see the tweezers and I know it’s gonna hurt and I…” Connor decided that his shoes were a better point of focus than his partner, “I’m sorry.”

Eerie thought for a moment. They could do this. After all, it wasn’t so different from the challenges that they came across every day. They just needed a strategy.

“Well,” Eerie said hesitantly, “If looking at the tweezers makes you queasy, just don’t look,”

“What?” Connor said, “Like a blindfold?” he hesitated, “I think that would make me even more insecure.”

“Ok then, back to the drawing board, I guess.”

“Wait!” The racoon’s eyes danced behind his tears, his brain working faster than his mouth, leaving Eerie in the dust. “Yeah, I think that’ll work.”

They had been sitting on the couch in his neat, if somewhat cluttered apartment. Connor stood and started using his good hand to carefully remove a variety of collected objects from the coffee table in the center of the room. When it was clear, he sat down on the edge and gestured for his partner to come join him.

“If we sit back to back like this,” he turned his back to Eerie and braced himself against her, “I won’t have to look.”

Eerie smiled at her partner’s ingenuity and reached behind her to grab her partner’s hand. He pulled back a little at the skin to skin contact but let her put his hand in her lap anyway. It occurred to Eerie that this was the first time she had ever actually touched Connor’s hand. She grabbed her tweezers and started removing the splinters as gently as she could. Her smile faded into a look of concentration when she heard Connor yelp, but he didn’t pull away like he had before.

They sat like that for an hour, back to back, Eerie concentrating and Connor trying not to cry. He gave up the pretense after the first ten minutes and by the end was letting his tears flow freely. Eerie was simultaneously the best and the worst person to see him like this. She was the best because he saw her every day and she understood being cursed better than anyone. She was the worst because he saw her every day and he was going to have to face her knowing that he had broken down and cried like a baby in front of her. He was supposed to be better than this, dang it.

Finally, Eerie stood up.

“Are you done?” Connor asked, hope in his voice.

“Almost” Eerie replied. Connor’s ears drooped.

Eerie rummaged around in the box of medical supplies for a moment before coming back with a bottle of clear liquid and some cotton balls.

“What are you going to do?” Connor curled in on himself in a defensive stance, wrapping his tail protectively in front of his hands. He suddenly looked even more like a threatened racoon.

“I just need to make sure it doesn’t get infected Connor.” Eerie said, motioning for him to turn back around.

Even though Connor knew it was coming, or perhaps because he knew it was coming, Connor screeched when the alcohol hit his palm.

\\

The Disney movie was largely ignored by the two detectives as they snuggled deeper into the blanket fort that Connor called his bed. He had his head on Eerie’s lap and, if he hadn’t fallen asleep already, he would soon. Eerie smiled down at him, noticing how he still protected his injured hand, even now that all the splinters were gone. She gently started playing with his hair which was as wild as ever. He must not have been completely awake because he shifted under her hand and looked up at her. Her owl eyes were wide in the half darkness and the horned cowlicks in her hair had long since wormed their way out from her bow. He stared at her for a long moment before...

“Thank you.”

Eerie smiled and began playing with his hair again, “What are partners for?”

[talpup]

Light In the Darkness: 15

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887595/chapters/54018274

Part II

Chapter 15

It was two weeks after the Magic Knights Entrance Exams and much to Yami’s chagrin Bronn’s hateful focus hadn’t moved on to the newest Black Bulls member. Sure the Vice Captain cuffed the new recruit on the back of the neck and gave the lad a hard time but Yami still got the brunt of it all. He supposed it was a good thing. Yami doubted the young Possession Mage could’ve handled more abuse. Fresh from his Grimoire Acceptance Ceremony, Bran was small even for a boy of fifteen and far too polite and unsure of himself to survive much of anything in Yami’s eyes. Which meant only one thing. The boy needed toughening up.

“Uh. Mister Yami. Sir.” Bran panted stopping in front of him as he entered the dining hall.

“It’s just Yami, boy.” Tobin called from his seat at the table.

“Let the boy speak.” Yami hushed liking the sound of ‘mister’ before his name.

“What would you like on your plate, sir?” Bran questioned.

Yami looked at the other members of the Black Bulls seated around the dining table wondering what was going on.

Venice and Tobin laughed while Teris and Abril appeared none too pleased. Gendry, as usual, seem oblivious to it all.

“Bran has been told of the house rule that all first year recruits cater to their senior members during their chore week of cooking.” Olsen informed smiling.

That explained Abril and Teris’ ill humor, neither liked to see the small getting picked on. Toyed with, that was well and good, but picked on was a completely different matter.

Yami was tempted to give the boy his order, till he saw Teris watching him and thought better of it. She had been somewhat distant of late, going out with Venice and not inviting him. His birthday was in two days and he didn’t want to do anything the further their separation. Before her slight withdrawal from him, Yami had hoped to get his first kiss from her as a birthday present to himself. It had been a year since they had met, nearly destroying the arena and killing everyone in it when they had battled during their own Entrance Exams, he thought he had been more then patient in denying or being interrupted from having a taste of her lips.

Yami grabbed the plate from Bran and told. “They’re having one over on you kid.”

“Come on Yami!” Tobin complained. “The least you could’ve done was wait till he got me seconds.”

“You’re no fun.” Olsen remarked shaking his head.

Without a word of apology Yami made for the serving table. Seeing burnt bacon and biscuits he cried. “Who cooked?”

Chewing Tobin answered. “The kid.”

Yami looked at Abril. “Wasn’t it your week to cook?”

Abril gave a guilty glance at Bran.

“And you had the nerve to look offended at the others making him serve.” Yami accused.

“Shame Abril.” Tobin scolded. “Taking advantage of the new recruit. Bran. Serve yourself and come sit by me. I’ll protect you from these sharks.”

“Weren’t you just complaining that Yami ruined your tricking Bran into fetching you a second serving?” Olsen remarked.

“Shut up.” Tobin snapped. “It was your idea.”

Olsen laughed. “I know. I’m brilliant.”

Teris watched Yami as he served. Venice leaned over and whispered. “Are we going out perusing again today?”

Teris nodded.

“Have any clearer idea what you want to get him?” Venice questioned.

Teris shook her head. It wasn’t that Yami was difficult to please. He’d likely be happy that she remembered his birthday let alone gone through the trouble of getting him a gift. But this was the first time she would celebrate his birth with him, last years having gone by with little fanfare as they were simply trying to survive Greywright’s training. This would also be the first thing she would ever get for him. It had to be perfect.

Yami took his usual place across from Teris and stared.

“What?” Teris asked cocking her head slightly.

“Nothing.” Yami said wondering why he had taught her how to read and dampen her Ki. Now, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get a clear reading of her, if he could read her at all.

She returned to her breakfast.

“What are you doing today?” Yami asked picking up a charred piece of bacon and letting it drop back onto his plate in disgust.

“Unless a mission comes up. Going to Castle City with Venice.” Teris answered.

“Can I come?”

“To Castle City? Why?” Teris asked.

“Why not. You’ll be there.” Yami watched her carefully wondering if it was something he had done. Or maybe something he hadn’t done. Why were girls so difficult. Couldn’t she just tell him? He’d apologized. They’d move on. Things would go back to normal. He didn’t like it when she pulled away from him.

“Don’t you have a new beast to train?” Teris reminded.

“Mooshu.” Yami smiled thinking of the long haired mess that he had saved from a boar trap. After her subdued behavior as he had nursed her back to health Mooshu had surprised him by reverting back to her wild aggression once released into the training pen.

“Ungrateful creature.” Yami muttered. Looking at Teris he said. “You keep saying you’re going to let me introduce you to her.”

Teris pushed away her plate. “I know. Maybe tomorrow.”

“What about today?” Yami tried. “Before we had out to Castle City. Pilfer misses you.” So do I, he thought.

“Not this time, Yami. Sorry.” Teris’ heart broke to see the confused disappointment in his eyes. “But I’ll go out to the pens with you tomorrow to visit Pilfer and meet Mooshu. I promise.”

Yami held her gaze a moment before looking down at his food as he moved it about the plate with a fork. The stuff wasn’t even worthy of feeding his wolves.

“That reminds me.” Tobin said putting a hand on Bran’s back. “You have to feed the beasts in the pens outside.”

“No he doesn’t.” Yami rumbled. He leaned forward so he and Bran could see each other over Tobin. “You don’t go near the pens without unless I take you.” He looked at Tobin making a noise. “What do you want? To see the kid ripped to shreds and eaten.

“I never would’ve of let him do it.” Tobin assured. “I just wanted to see boys reaction.”

“That was cruel.” Venice said shaking her head.

“Too far.” Olsen agreed. “I don’t even go near those things.”

“It was a joke.” Tobin persisted.

“I don’t remember you all giving Yami and I such a hard time when we first arrived.” Teris commented.

“That’s because you two were imposing. Olsen said. “In a good way, my lovely. Well, mostly good.”

“Imposing?” Teris questioned. “After what happened at the Entrance Exam and all that followed I was scared out of my wits.”

“And so were we.” Venice said looking at her. “Of the both of you and what you might inadvertently do to us if we messed with you.”

“Nearly destroying part of a city, possibly killing countless people, and wrecking the dining hall has it’s perks.” Tobin said giving her a nod. “That, and after the beating this one got from Bronn his second night here.” He said jutting a chin at Yami. “We figured it’d be best to let you two be.”

“I guess our difficulties were good for something.” Teris said giving Yami a small smile.

“They were good for more than that.” Yami told her. “They brought us together. Made us inseparable.

“Well, I wouldn’t say inseparable. Venice countered. “You two don’t bathe, sleep, or poo together.”

“You should be grateful for that, Teris.” Tobin told her. “I’ve had the unlucky displeasure of entering the stall after that one and let me tell you. Somethings the nose can’t forget no matter how hard it tries.”

“You’re weak.” Yami said almost proudly as he looked at Tobin out of the corner of his eye.

“Speaking of--”

“Shit?” Venice asked smiling playfully at Olsen.

“ --bathing.” Olsen went on dryly. “Did anyone ever find out why Captain Mereoleona didn’t host her usual excursion to the Lava Springs after the Star Awards?”

“Her what?” Teris asked.

“No.” Venice answered Olsen. To Teris she said. “Ever since Mereoleona became Captain of the Crimson Lions she’s hosted a massive multi-squad trip to an active volcano the day after the Star Awards.”

“Sounds like fun.” Teris enthused sarcastically.

“Oh, it’s hell getting up there,” Venice admitted. “But once you reach the top and nightfall's, the lava stops and a hot springs is revealed.”

“So you and Yami may eventually add bathing to your list of inseparable activities. Tobin teased grinning at Yami as he elbowed him in the ribs.

Yami stared at his friend unamused.

“The bathing is separate. Olsen hushed. “Though last time, I believe a couple boys got caught trying to look over to the girls side. Maybe that’s why there wasn’t one this time.”

“And after the springs we’d trek back down the mountain, a lot easier without the lava and all.” Venice added. “I don’t know who the house belongs to but it sure is nice.”

“Sounds like you’re talking about the Vermilion's Summer Cabin,” Teris said.

“You call that place a cabin?” Abril blinked. “Just when I nearly forgot you’re a royal you say something like that.”

“So you have been up to the springs,” Tobin said.

“At night.” Teris nodded. “Never traveled up there during the day. That’s when the volcano’s active.” She turned to Venice. “What’d you all do at the cabin?”

“A party of course,” Venice said. “Food--”

“Lots of food,” Olsen nodded.

“--and games. It didn’t end till everyone fell asleep.”

“Everyone slept at the Vermilion's cabin?” Teris inquired doubtfully. The place might’ve be overly large to be called a cabin but it certainly didn’t have enough bedrooms, let alone beds, for a full squad of Magic Knights never mind multiple.

Venice nodded. “Yeah. We pretty much slept wherever we found or fell.”

“Boys and girls together?” Teris questioned glancing at Yami.

“Oh, the Captains were always around and made their presence felt.” Olsen assured. “Not to mention the upstairs, where I can only assume the bedrooms are, was cordoned off.

“And if you got caught trying to seek off upstairs, like this one couple did once--” Venice audibly blew out her cheeks, eyes wide.

“And was this again?” Yami asked.

Tobin smiled. “Interested in adding bathing and sleeping together to your list of--”

“Stop talking before I make you.” Yami warned.

Tobin’s words died on his lips.

“For the two years I’ve gone it’s been the day after the Star Awards Festival,” Venice answered.

“Always been then since she started doing it.” Olsen put in. “I wonder why she didn’t do it this year.”

“What are you looser talking about?” Bronn asked entering.

“The yearly trip to the Lava Springs,” Venice called.

“Do you know why Captain Leona didn’t host one this year?” Olsen questioned the Vice Captain.

“Who knows why that She-Lion does or doesn’t do anything,” Bronn said. “Who burned breakfast!”

Gendry lifted an arm pointing down at Abril’s head.

“I didn’t burn nothing.” Abril said giving Gendry a shove.

“Well it’s your week to cook so who else could’ve done it?” Bronn accused. “Did little people sneak in while you were stacking the plates and burn it all for you?”

“No.” Abril snipped. “Bran did.”

“Bran snuck into the kitchen while your back was turned and burnt the food?” Bronn questioned in disbelief.

“No,” Abril said. “Bran did the cooking.”

Bronn eyed her sternly. “Having a bit of fun with the new recruit are you.”

“Just a bit,” Abril admitted. “It’s not like I told him it was his job to serve our plates or tend to Yami’s beasts.”

Bronn smirked in amusement as he scanned the usual suspects. “Who told the kid that?”

Olsen and Tobin pointed at each other.

Bronn huffed. “I wouldn’t mind my breakfast being served and brought to me.”

“Right!” Olsen agreed.

“But not this kindling.” Bronn tossed the serving spoon back down. “Well. I guess I’ll surprise Gilly by bringing some sweet breads to our date later this afternoon. Anyone want a come with me to Castle City? You can’t hang around me, mind.”

“Who’d want to,’ Abril muttered.

“I heard that.” Bronn snapped.

“We’ll go.” Venice said jumping up.

“If you don’t mind.” Teris said wiping her hands before taking her and Venice’s plates to the cleaning station where she scrapped the remaining food into the slop bucket and stacked the plates.

As much as Yami wanted to join them, no matter what Teris had said, he had to tend to Pilfer and Mooshu. Pilfer had reached a point where he could be trusted around others. Gendry had gladly looked after the Saber Wolf on occasion. But Mooshu was a ways from that, and even if he asked Gendry to leave her in her pen and simply toss her food in, it would only derail whatever trust he had earned from her. Maybe in a week or so that would change, but for now he had to be the one looking after Mooshu.

Yami watched Teris as she and Venice followed Bronn through the gateway without a glance back at him.

“What did you do this time?” Olsen asked as the portal closed.

Yami glared at him.

“I mean Teris hasn’t ignored you like that since the night of the Star Awards when she found out you lied to her.” Olsen went on.

“She’s not ignoring me and I didn’t lie to her.” Yami grumbled.

“You kinda did and it kinda looks like she is.” Olsen challenged.

Yami stood and made his way to the side door that led down half a level to the kitchens.

“You forgot to clear your area.” Olsen called after him pointing at the untouched plate Yami had served.

“That’s what new recruits are for.” Yami shot back before disappearing down the stairs/.

Olsen turned to Bran. “You heard him.”

15.2

Nozel’s younger sister was in Castle City for some three day long, young noble ladies activity and, despite the Silver Eagles base not being in Castle City, his father had commanded him to take a day to escort her around. Though the Silva’s, like the Vermilion's had a residence on the royals grounds beside the Kings own castle, until of she had received her grimoire, Nebra was not allow off the castle grounds without escort.

“Might we go into that shop on the corner,” Nebra asked. “Lady Neyres had the most lovely gloves on yesterday and said she got them from there.”

“Neyres was at this suction?” Nozel questioned looking down at his sister. Though he hadn’t seen the fellow royal or Margery, for that matter, the last couple of days he had thought nothing of it; he was just grateful to the blessed silence and their absence, especially where Margery was concerned.

“Of course,” Nebra giggled. “She is a royal. All royal and noble young ladies were invited. Expected, in fact.”

Nozel looked down at her a moment then away. Careful to keep his tone conversational he asked. “Did you see Teris there?”

“No.” Nebra shook her head. “And father had encouraged me to speak with her.”

“Why?” Nozel wondered certain he knew. No doubt Nebra was expected to give their father a full report of Nozel’s own activities and behavior as well.

Nebra shrugged a shoulder. “I suppose because she will one day be my sister-in-law.” She looked up at her brother. “I know you will do whatever father commands but how do you feel about eventually wedding the Lady Teris?”

Mindful of his tone and expression Nozel responded. “I don’t feel anything about it.”

“How can that be?”

“Our families have intended for us to wed since I was Noelle’s age,” he said. The mention of his youngest sister’s age reminded him that it also been four years since their mother’s death birthing the good for nothing child. He slowly blinked away the painful memory. “I suppose you could say I don’t remember a time when Teris wasn’t intended to be my bride.”

“But she’s so--”

Nozel looked sternly down at her. “What?”

“Unorthodoxed.” Nebra said carefully. “Take this event for instance. I already told you all the royal and noble ladies were invited but what I didn’t say was that this was Lady Teris’ third year being absent.”

“And?”

“And,” Nebra stressed, “if you don’t show for three years in a row you are dropped from the Young Ladies Social and Finishing League.”

Nozel blinked at the name of the group wondering a moment who had come up the thing.

“It is the dream of every young lady to receive their acceptance letter into the league on their tenth birthday,” Nebra went on. “I remember the fuss I made in the weeks leading up to the first meeting I would attend at my area Chapter.”

“Lady Teris is hardly a giddy ten year old,” Nozel reminded.

“No, but she is a royal lady of sixteen who’s name has now been stricken from the Leagues ledgers and barred from any and all League activities and functions, including Chapter meetings,” Nebra informed. “It’s unheard of. Up until her nineteenth birthday, even Lady Mereoleona attended this annual event every two years so she wouldn’t be dropped from the rolls.”

Nozel realized why his father had encouraged Nebra to speak with Teris at the event. It was more then simply keeping tabs on her activities and behavior. Nozel had no doubt that Lord Silva was much more aware of the politics surrounding how the noble women functioned themselves and that Teris had been in jeopardy of being cast out.

“Teris is a Magic Knight.” Nozel said at length. “Those duties far precede that of some ladies league.”

“But there were lots of royal and noble ladies present who are Magic Knights,” Nebra told.

“It’s possible there was a mission making her absence unavoidable.”

“Unavoidable or not the League won’t rescind their decision,” Nebra said.

“It doesn’t matter what your League does.” Nozel said opening the door to the shop she had asked to visit. “Upholding the honor and duty of being a Magic Knight will cover any blot this strickening might cause.”

If she’s on a mission, Nebra thought entering the boutique.

“Teris,” Venice whined. “We’ve looked at nearly every store in Castle City. If you can’t find something for him here you won’t find it anywhere.”

“Come on, Venice. Think of it as a mission,” Teris cajoled. “Besides, I thought you loved shopping.”

“For myself,” Venice clarified. “Not burly, mopping boys who are easy to please where you’re concerned. Want to make him happy? Spend the day with him. Even just a few minutes will do, bad as he has it for you. You know he thinks you’re mad at him.”

“Stop it.” Teris hushed blushing.

“I mean, did you see his face when you told him he couldn’t come? My heart just about broke for him.” Venice went on as she picked up ridicule looking it over.

Yami’s light brown eyes filled with questioning disappointment replayed in her mind giving Teris pause. She shook her head. “He’ll get over it. I just have to find him the perfect gift.”

“I suppose she was on a mission. Of sorts.” Nebra breathed softly as her brother allowed the closed the door behind them.

Nozel cursed his acquiescence to his sisters request certain that everything she heard and continued to hear would be relayed to their father. He was wondering how to go about getting her out of the shop without being overly obvious about what he was trying to do when the store attendant greeted them. “Welcome. Looking for anything in particular or just wanting to browse?”

Nebra began telling the woman what she was looking for while Nozel stayed by the door listening to Teris and Venice.

“What about that pen?” Venice asked pointing.

“What’s Yami going to do with a pen?” Teris bitingly asked.

“Write you love letters.” Venice teased.

The right side of Nozel’s jaw muscles began to spasm in complaint of his clenched teeth. As if there had been much doubt to begin with, he thought sullenly. She’s looking for a gift of that foreigner.

“Venice this is serious.” Teris told. “His birthday is in two days. If I don’t find the perfect gift today I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Go shopping tomorrow.” Venice shrugged setting down to purse wondering when she’d have need to carry such a fancy bag.

“I can’t,” Teris said. “I already promised him that I’d visit Pilfer and meet Mooshu.”

“That won’t take all day.” Venice said picking and holding up a hair clasp, looking at herself in a mirror. “I don’t know why you bother pretending to like those creatures when you can barely tolerate his human friend, Jack”

Teris gave a disgusted shiver. “Please don’t say that creeps name.”

“It’s not as if Yami’s interest in you is dependent on your interest in his creatures.” Venice turned to her still holding the beret to her hair. “Do you think this brings out the color of my eyes?”

“I don’t pretend to like Pilfer,” Teris said. “He’s a good Saber Wolf.” She picked up a different clasp and held it out to her friend. “Try this one.”

“Good at eating moderately large creatures in a single sitting and slobbering everywhere.” Venice said taking the beret and turning to the mirror. “I guess I can see why you don’t have to pretend to like it. It’s not all that different from Yami.”

“Funny.” Teris said her tone and expression making it obvious it she found it otherwise.

“I swear if he comes in one more time tracking mud, grim, and that things slimy drool all over the clean floor on my mop week...”

“You actually mop on your mop week?” Teris asked in surprise.

“Yeah.” Venice answered slowly. “Don’t you?”

Teris shook her head. “I don’t think anyone does.”

“You mean I’ve been the only one cleaning those floors?” Venice exclaimed. “No wonder they’re filthy by the time my week comes around. And here I thought we lived with a pack of pigs.”

“That’s still a high possibility given Bronn, Tobin, and Abril,” Teris said.

“Mother of all mana,” Venice cursed. “I’m gonna have a word with everyone when we return. You can count on--”

“And how are you ladies getting on?” The stores Clerk asked her smile a bit forced. “Still doing alright? Sure I can’t assist you with anything?”

Venice turned prepared to tell the woman that if she was needed they would call her when she saw Nozel standing in the doorway. “Mother of--”

“I got it!” Teris enthused oblivious of the Clerk or Venice’s curse. She rushed to the back counter. Grabbing a quill she began to draw on a piece of paper, slapping the bell for assistance.

“I guess you can be of assistance.” Venice smiled tightly at the Clerk still eyeing Nozel.

A Leather Smith passed through the doorway that led from a workshop behind and waited.

Teris finished scribbling and turned the paper to the Smith saying a few words. Nozel watched them go back a forth a bit before the Smith took the quill from Teris and drew on the paper. He turned the sheet to her and she looked it over appearing more pleased than before. They conversed further before the Smith wrote up a slip with her order and passed it to her. Teris said a few more words before turning.

“Venice! I--” Teris fell silent upon seeing Nozel. Her eyes widened wondering just how long he had been there. She tried to recall what she and Venice had said and then got angry at herself for worrying. Teris made her way to her friend and Nozel but was halted a few steps short by yet another surprise.

“Lady Teris.” Nebra greeted making her way to her brother from the side counter. “If this isn’t a pleasant surprise.”

“A surprise indeed,” Teris said. “What brings you to Castle City Nebra?”

“The Annual Young Ladies Social and Finishing League function of course,” Nebra said. “I must say many, including myself, were sorry to see you missed it.”

“I’ve been busy.” Teris said not caring about the younger girls judgment laced comment.

“So it would appear,” Nebra smiled. “A birthday gift. Forgive me. I couldn’t help but overhear.”

Teris glanced at Nozel knowing he had heard enough. “Please give the ladies of the League my regards. Teris told Nebra. “I will leave you to your shopping.”

“Oh, but I’m done,” Nebra smiled. “I hope you don’t mind brother but I had them send you the bill. You know how father can be about my purchases. And isn’t nearly time for our luncheon with Lord Fuegoleon and Lady Mereoleona. Why don’t you and your friend join us?” She finished turning to Teris.

Seeing this as her chance to question the Crimson Lions Captain about the Lava Springs bash Venice, without thinking, said. “I could eat.”

Teris turned slowly to her friend. “What?”

Realizing she had put her friend in an unwanted position Venice nevertheless doubled down saying. “You ordered your gift and, despite my admit arguments against it, you and Nozel are speaking again.”

Nebra looked at her brother. “She makes it sound as if you and Teris had a falling out.”

Nozel eyes slid down to his sister. “Don’t be silly, Nebra.”

“Yami--” Teris began.

“Yami lied,” Venice reminded. “He made us all play down his injuries so he could get you to speak to Nozel again. Don’t ask me why.” She breathed under her breath.

Nozel blinked eyes snapped to Venice. The foreigner had been telling the truth that night, Nozel thought in wonder. Why would he do such a thing? It couldn’t simply be for the reasons he had claimed. No one was that confident or stupid.

“What’s done it done.” Teris said grating once again at the thought of Yami’s deception.

“So you should be fine joining your fellow royals for lunch,” Venice said. “Come on.” She whined when Teris merely stared at her. “I wanna ask Mereoleona about the Lava Springs.”

“That’s what this is about?” Teris asked in disbelief.

“Please!”

“Venice.”

“Yes, Teris.” Venice said in her sweetest voice as she batted her eyes innocently at her friend.

Teris growled a sigh and shook her head. She turned to the female Clerk pointing to the hair clasp Venice still held. “Add that to my bill. I’ll pay for it when the belt is delivered on the seventeenth.”

“Of course Lady Nova.” The Clerk nodded. “Thank you for your patronage. Lord and Lady Silva. Thank you. Please come again.”

“A belt!” Venice said as she followed Teris through the door Nozel held for them. “After weeks of fretting and countless shops. You get him a belt.”

Nozel ground his teeth forcing himself to take a calming breath. He turned as Nebra passed and asked out of curiosity and desire to silence Venice’s talk of the foreigner. “Where’s your purchase?”

Nebra held up her hands wiggling her fingers. “I’m wearing it silly.”

“Are those the gloves you saw Neyres wearing?” He asked as the four of them made their way down the sidewalk.

“Not the exact same.” Nebra said noticing how her brother made certain he was beside Teris and walked to the right of her shielding her from the street. From behind the older royals Nebra went on. “That would be embarrassing for the both of us. But I am pleased.”

“Good,” Nozel replied. They walked down the block in silence before asked, loud enough for Teris to hear but not the others. “It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken.”

“A month at most.” Teris put in.

Nearly two Nozel thought. “How are you?” He asked fighting the urge to look at her.

“Same as I ever was. And you?”

“Hopeful of a promotion.” Nozel said trying not to sound overly boastful even though his intention was to impress her.

“And what are you ranked now?” Teris asked even though she knew. “Junior Magic Knight Second Class?”

“First,” Nozel told.

“So this would make you an Intermediate Magic Knight and so soon after your first year.”

Nozel fought down the smile that threatened at her mildly impressed tone.

“I wish you the best of luck,” she said.

Nozel turned.

“Don’t look so surprised.” Teris said giving a huffing laugh. “I’ve never wished you ill. Well. After your unprovoked attack, that turns out nearly killed Yami by the way, I did a lot more than wish you ill but we’re past that. Aren’t we?”

“I would hope so.” Nozel said wishing he had channeled just a little more mana into the attack and been rid of the foreigner for good. “But I feel I must say.” He looked at her and sighed. “That was a rough day for all of us. Tensions were high and--”

“Nozel. Don’t.”

He paused glancing uncomfortably away at her stern expression praying he hadn’t messed things up and made her mad at him all over again.

“Don’t bring up what’s been buried.” Teris said her tone almost pleading. “It’s done. We’re fine.”

“I’m glad.” Nozel said giving her a small, hesitant smile. “As friends we should be able to work through anything.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Teris said. “Friends.” She shook her head giving a small somewhat forced chuckle of amusement. “And people say you don’t have a sense of humor.” She patted his shoulder. “You’re funny Nozel.”

Nozel didn’t know what was more painful, her words or the absence of her touch as she let her hand slide off him. Unable to look at her, he gathered himself and asked. “What would you call us--”

“And we thought we would have to wait.” Mereoleona called upon seeing them. She slapped her brother on the back. “I told you we should come straight here.”

“That would have made them early and us on time.” Fuegoleon said looking back at her.

“Leon. Manners. A gentleman never keeps a lady waiting. And Nozel has brought three of them. What a pleasant surprise.” Mereoleona moved to Teris giving her a hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I know.” Teris smiled returning the hug.

“It’s been a week.” Fuegoleon told watching the two of them.

“Nine days. But who’s counting,” Teris said.

“You. Obviously.” Nozel said looking at her coolly.

“Venice,” Mereoleona smiled patting the girl on the head. “It’s good to see you as well. We could’ve used your mirror magic on our last mission. Right Leon?”

“We managed just fine.” Fuegoleon said, his pride not letting him admit that another squads member would have been helpful.

“And Nebra,” Mereoleona smiled. “Aren’t you growing up fast. Shall we go inside and sit.”

Seated and ordered Mereoleona asked. “So, how did you two girls enjoy the Ladies League bash?”

“Immensely.” Nebra answered from her brothers right. She looked over to Teris who was seated to on Nozel’s left.

Mereoleona took her cousins silence as displeasure of the events goings on. “I know.” She said to Teris. “Having to go to such things was never my cup of tea either. Most girls can’t wait till their tenth birthday to be accepted into the League. I couldn’t wait till my twentieth to be done with it all. Always found it funny how a gathering of supposedly polite young ladies can, and usually was, anything but polite.”

“I didn’t go,” Teris told.

“I’ve been there too,” Mereoleona nodded. “Skipped two years out of every three.” She held up a finger. “Don’t get any ideas, your father or Fyntch wouldn’t approve.”

“This was my third absence.” Teris informed the realization of what she had done hitting her in full. Not that she would have done anything different.

“Oh,” Mereoleona blinked. Recovering she said. “And I thought myself a fearless rebel of expectation. You’re putting me to shame. Was Fyntch aware? What am I saying. Of course your brother wasn’t. He would have likely left your father to drag you to the Leagues event. Was Julius? No. I’m wrong again. That man is too focused on making sure his dream of getting to the top of the Magic Knights is achieved to pay care to such things.” She crossed her arms and sat back shaking her head.

Teris could hardly look the Crimson Lions Captain in the eye out of fear and shame.

“What are we going to do with you girl?”

“I don’t know,” Teris mumbled.

“Well,” Mereoleona sighed smacking the table with a palm. “It can’t be helped now. The Mistress’ of the League are an unforgiving bunch. Even if you had been on a mission, or your death bed for that matter, they wouldn’t retract your strickening.”

“I don’t want s retraction.” Teris told softly barely managing to glance at Mereoleona.

“You say that now,” Mereoleona said. “Look at you. You can’t even look at me. How are you going to fair when faced with your Lord Father and Fyntch? You’ll be singing a different tune when next you see them I’m telling you now.” Mereoleona watched her wondering how the girl could be so fierce and yet so fragile. She wanted and hoped for the best for her young cousin, having felt a comradery with her since the first time she had seen an eight year old Teris refuse to sit side saddle while on a hunt. But, only time would tell if she grew up to be her own person and a force to be reckoned with or broken into subservience by her brother, Fyntch, and marriage into the Silva family. “Let me know if Fyntch goes too hard on you. I’ll do what I can to soften the blow.”

“You don’t have to do that, Leona,” Teris said.

“You’re right. I don’t. And it’ll likely cause me a bit of trouble in doing so,” Mereoleona admitted. “But you bucked the system and did your own thing. And that has earned my respect.”

Their food arrived and with it, Teris thanked, a change in subject.

“I hear you’re close to a promotion.” Mereoleona said looking at Nozel.

“That is my hope.” Nozel affirmed.

The Crimson Lions Captain looked at her brother. “Better step it up Leon. Your rival’s about to out rank you.”

“I’m not that far from a promotion myself,” Fuegoleon told.

“Not as close as he is.” Mereoleona teased. “Then again, Teris has you both beat as she’s closer yet.”

The two boys looked at Teris in surprise.

“Isn’t that so.” Mereoleona smiled, the famously pointed Vermilion incisors glinting in the light.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nozel asked feeling a fool for his boasting, then wondering if that had been her intention.

Teris shrugged ill at easy under Nozel’s intense gaze. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to make a deal of it.”

“But you’ll be stepping up to Intermediate Magic Knight.” Mereoleona said picking up her drink as if in toast. “Kind of a big deal.”

“It’s not like I’d be stepping up to be Knights Commander,” Teris said.

“No.” Mereoleona laughed choking on her plum juice. “You’ve got quite a ways to go for that promotion. And I think Greywright would have a thing or two to say about it since he shows no signs of stepping down.”

“It’s funny how you and Yami get the same promotions at the same time.” Venice said then shrugged. “But I guess that’s to be expected since you two are always going out and getting into trouble together.”

Teris could have ground Venice’s foot into the floor under the table if she had been seated beside her. Instead she was stuck between Nozel and Fuegoleon and Venice tucked safely between the two Crimson Lions. If only Fuegoleon hadn’t been such a gentleman and pulled Venice’s chair out, or Nozel for that matter having pulling at chair out for her when Nebra had already claimed the space between him and Mereoleona.

“You should be thankful.” Mereoleona told Venice. “By all appearances, it’s because of them that the Black Bulls are doing so well.”

“They’ll still be ranked last.” Fuegoleon huffed. He looked to Teris. “What possessed you to choose to join the Black Bulls when you have such dreams as becoming Knights Commander eludes me to this day.”

“It’s because if she manages to become a candidate for the role having come from such a squad there’s nothing anyone could do.” Mereoleona said, kindly not finishing with, to take it from her. “Am I right?”

Teris gave a small nod.

“You think no one understands you,” Mereoleona said. “But I do.”

Yami understands me, Teris thought. Maybe that was why she was so drawn to him. He knew who she was and accepted her as that person without showing the faintest hint in wanting to steer or change her.

Having an idea Mereoleona turned to Nozel. “Promise me something.”

“If I am able.” Nozel said blue eyes flicking up to her.

“At the next Silva, Nova gathering when they invariably try to coerced Teris into meeting their expectations and do their will. Do or say something on her behalf. If you’re going to be her husband she’s going need your support and protection. Unless you plan on attempting to break her spirit. So, why get some much needed practice and start now with this one thing. I can all but guarantee you that doing so will earn you earn trust and goodwill. Neither of those unwanted things in a marriage.”

The thought of speaking against his father scared him but not half as much as the thought of Teris finally showing some goodwill and trust enticed him. Nozel inclined his head.

Teris watched Mereoleona in disbelief. Hadn’t her cousin just announced that she understood her? Before she could find her voice to rebut such a thing Venice spoke.

“Speaking of gatherings. What happened to this years trip to the Lava Springs?” Venice asked none to subtlety changing the subject. “And will there be one next year?”

Mereoleona darkened as she recalled seeing Bronn at the Star Awards with his arm wrapped around a girl. She had later learned the girl was a Healing Mage named Gilly and that the two had in fact been on a date, and were still dating.

Thankful for the change in subject Teris left her rebuttal unsaid adding. “Venice, Olsen, and Tobin were talking about it at breakfast this morning. I can’t believe Uncle Leonidas lets you use your family's summer cabin to host what sounded like a pretty rowdy Magic Knights party.”

Mereoleona forced the image of Bronn with another girl out of her mind and nodded. “It can get rather rowdy. But as long as none of you kiddies go upstairs or get into his liquor stores, father doesn’t mind.” To Venice she said. “You enjoy fighting up the volcano. Do you?”

“I enjoyed the hot springs and party after,” Venice said.

Mereoleona laughed.

“Will there be one next year?” Venice asked again.

Mereoleona thought of her jealousy towards Gilly and anger at Bronn which had been the reasons she hadn’t called the gathering; which was always last minute even though it had turned into an annual event. She forced another toothy smile. “Just try to stop it,” she said.

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a VERY special thank you to those who have left comments or re-blogged.  They really mean a lot.

Taglist: @captncappuccino 

[caelestis-aurumxv]

FFXV’s Scenario 01: ‘When they steal you a kiss’ Gladio. Ver

—Noct, I’ts time to rest…. It’s getting dark—Ignis murmured at the steering wheel of the Regalia.

—Hm, it’s okay, tomorrow we can continue traveling…—The King of Insomnia didn’t object.

—Oh, __________ has fallen asleep, she’s so cute —Prompto said, smiling at seeing you as you slept between Gladio and Noctis.

—We have to wake her up…—Noct said, ready to pull your cheeks.

—Hey, hey… Let her sleep a little longer, today we walked a lot —Gladiolus put his huge arm in front of your face, breaking Noctis’s plans.

—Come on, it’s fun…—Noctis laughed.

—Nobody bothers you when you sleep in the car —It was Ignis argument from the front of the car.

—Iggy is right —Gladiolus supported the boy with glasses.

—Ah, it’s okay… Then I’ll sleep too—Noctis said, almost like a rebellious teenager, leaning back on the Regalia and closing his eyes.

—Speaking of sleep… Shall we camp?—Ignis asked.

—No, please!—Prompto pleaded.

—You’re a crybaby… —Gladiolus murmured.

   And when Ignis doubled in a curve with the car, the big guy in the group was now silent, your head had leaned against his arm, you were exhausted; It even seemed hard for you to wake up.

—What do you say, Noct?—Ignis asked—I know you’re awake.

—Mh, I don’t want to camp… —The King answered with closed eyes.

—I don’t think it’s a good choice to camp today—Gladiolus commented, not shouting because you were sleeping on his arm.

—What?!—Prompto and Noctis, the King opening his eyes now, exclaimed surprised—Why don’t you want to camp?!

—Hey, hey, lower your voice…—Gladio murmured, a little annoyed by the cries of his friends, until he noticed how your body began you move and get away from his arm.

—Umh… What’s wrong?—You asked, rejoining the group opening your eyes slowly—Oh, a storm is coming…—It was your first observation when looking at the sky.

—Exactly for that, good morning sleepy… —Gladiolus said, with a big smile.

—Woah, I hadn’t noticed the weather… —Prompto commented, looking up.

—Ignis, close the car… —Noct muttered, to which the bodyguard transformed the Regalia into the roof model, indispensable for the rainy days.

—Did I really fall asleep?—You complained, a little embarrassed, seeing Noctis and the Gladio.

—Yes, you even drooled Gladio’s shoulder—Prompto said from the front, with a giggle.

—Eh?! Really?!—And you looked at Gladiolus with panic, then everyone burst into laughter in the car, Ignis clearly just smiled.

—No, no… You just leaned on my arm, but I think that you have some slime in your mouth—Gladiolus pointed, poking at your cheek with his index finger.

—Can’t be!—You blushed covering your mouth.

  Again the three most scandalous laughed at the Regalia, while Ignis parked in Longwythe Rest Area, next to the gas pump, which was in front of the motel.

—Hey, it’s not a place to bring a young lady…— Prompto said, in a mocking tone.

—At least you could buy me a drink first, Iggy —You said, to which the boys laughed.

—Well, well… all down now—Ignis answered, arranging his glasses on his nose—_______, you will sleep in a separate room.

—R-Really?—Your face looked a little afflicted, inside you there was a feeling with regard to the weather.

—Why can she sleep at ease and we should share beds?—Noctis complained, bringing his prince’s side afloat.

—Your Majesty, you can sleep on the floor at will if you want—Gladiolus said, tapping his back with a smile that wanted to annoy him.

—I refuse—Noctis responded shaking his head—___________, before you go to sleep, you can come to eat in our room.

—__________?—Prompto called your name.

—A-ah?—You reacted late, your mind and your eyes were busy looking at the sky: the thunder and lightning were coming,

—What happen, __________?—Gladiolus touched your shoulder and in reaction to it you shrieked covering your ears.

—H-hey! ________ Are you ok?—The other three boys asked in unison.

—…Y-Yes—You could barely answer that question, with a fragile smile.

—Well,  come on, I already have a room… —Ignis showed the keys.

               They left the Regalia behind parked, they walked towards the second door of the enclosure and Ignis gave you the key to your room, however, you didn’t feel like entering there yet. So you followed the guys inside the second door, the room was somewhat cold, but cozy.

—I think it will be a noisy night… —Ignis murmured, entering the kitchen—Would you like yo eat soup?

—Yes! Soup for the cold—Prompto raised his arms, victoriously.

—It’s fine with me—Noctis nodded.

—Can I eat noodle soup?—Gladiolus asked with a smile, approaching the kitchen where Ignis was-

—Of course not, Gladio, don’t disrespect my food—Ignis defended himself, starting to raise his sleeves to be able to cook.

—Noct, you want to play King’s Knight?—Prompto asked, and the King of Insomnia without saying anything pulled his cell phone out of his jacket.

—Come on now—Noctis replied with a defiant smile, beginning to load the game onto his cell phone.

—Is this a kind of heater?—Gladiolus were exploring the room, and his voice raised, like he was asking to Ignis.

—Wow! Are we going to get warm?—Prompto stopped watching his phone screen for a moment, looking at the big man.

  It was an artifact that seemed screwed to the wall.

—I hope it works, it’s a Little icy—Ignis said, approaching where his friend was—Do you think you can turn it on?

—That’s it, it’s on—Gladiolus replied, smiling proudly.

—Well, I’ll go back to the kitchen—and the boy with lens disappeared in the door next to the bathroom.

—Hey, _________ —Gladiolus called for you, sitting suddenly on the bed where you were sitting, again you shrieked.

—Why are you scared so easily lately?—Prompto asked, without taking his eyes off his phone.

—I-It’s nothing… Maybe lack of sleep—You tried to excuse yourself with a pretty weird smile.

—Then go to sleep—Gladio crossed his arms.

—…F-First I want to eat—You mumbled, looking down.

               Gladiolus only looked at you in silence for a while and got up from the bed, he walked to the curtains of the room and closed them one by one, you could only look at him, trying yo decipher what he was doing.

—Ignis, could you rush the food?—The strongman asked, making his way to the kitchen—I’ll help you.

After Gladio passed by you, you looked down again and the sound of the rain invaded the room.

—The sound of the rain is so relaxing to sleep, don’t you think, ________?—Prompto asked, looking at you.

—…Y-Yes—It was your answer, unconvincing.

—Hey, eyes on the screen oy you could die—Noctis murmured pressing the buttons on the screen.

—Shit!—The blond exclaimed, turning his head to his cellphone.

               A few minutes passed in which you only had your head down, the boys didn’t ask why, thinking that you were only tired, besides being aware of their game. Ignis and Gladio were finishing the meal in the kitchen, until that noise you were waiting for finally appeared, you didn’t scream, but you covered your ears at once.

—L-LIGHTNING!  —Prompto shrieked. Jumping from his bed to where Noctis was.

—The food is ready—Ignis said, who was following by Gladio, both holding plates in their hands.

—Guys, eat now—There was something in Gladio’s tone that attracted attention, he wanted everything to be done immediately.

—Something wrong?—The gunslinger asked, noticing the tone the king’s guardian used.

—It will be a long night… It is better to fall asleep fast, there will be more lightning —Gladio answered, looking at the clock on the wall—Bless the food.

—Thanks for the food…. —Everyone said in unison and began to eat the soup that Ignis had prepared, which obviously tasted exquisite, as was to be expected of Ignis.

               Between sips of soup, sounds of spoons playing with the bottom of the plate and sounds of satisfaction the dinner of the five ended, everyone felt full and welcomed by the warmth of a homemade dish, worthy and worthy of and immediate dream.

—Well, it’s time to sleep…—Noct said, walking towards one of the beds—_______, aren’t you afraid of the stroms right?

—M-me…?—You asked, nervous completely.

—Yes, remember you’ll sleep alone…—The king shrugged, noticing how Prompto was approaching the bed where he was going to get in—Really? I have to sleep with you?—He sighed.

—There are only two beds, Majesty—Prompto replied with an ironic tone.

—________ won’t leave yet, we’ll play a round of King’s Knight—Gladio interrupted, hugging you by the arm, surprising you.

—Can we play too?—The blonded asked, with a puppy face excited.

—You’re going to sleep, you already played today—Ignis said, throwing a pillow against Prompto, who after that blow didn’t take long to star snoring.

—That was a K.O—Noctis laughed, not paying attention to what Galdio said earlier, he took place in the bed next were Prompto were sleeping and covered himself with blankets—Good night.

—Good night, guys—Ignis said, taking his place in the bed where Gladio should arrive later.

               There was a moment of silence, Gladio broke the grip with his arm towards you and pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. He typed a bit and the you felt you mobile vibrate.

—Who…?—You asked taking you phone, it was a message from him.

“We won’t play King’s Knight, but you must tell me the truth…”

               You looked at him, he just crossed his arms, waiting for your answer.

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on, I know you’re scared…”

“About what?”

“The thunders, and there’s nothing wrong with being afraid of them”

“… I am guardian of the crown; it is a shame to be afraid of the powers of mother nature”

“I would be also afraid of Lamu if it were you”

“I don’t have…Well yes, I’m afraid of thunders and storms”

“Well said, I’ll sleep with you tonight”

               You didn’t follow the conversation, you just looked up and looked at him in total amazement.

               Gladiolus said nothing, just walked to the door of the room and opened it, noticing that all his friends were already sleeping peacefully, then made a gesture with his head, indicating that they should leave.

               Ando so you followed him out of the room.

—Wait…—Gladio interrupted, snatching the keys from your hand, taking place next to you and hugging your shoulder. As soon as he opened the door of your room.

—Damn, it’s very cold here…—You mumbled when you entered with the big man.

—And how will you see, there’s only one bed…—Gladio used a burlesque tone and you only nudged him in the ribs.

—You weren’t being serious when you said that… right?—And when you did that question, your tone of voice changed to a dubious one.

—Well…—Gladio spoke and the room light up completely, so he only reacted to cover your ears and put his forehead with yours. All in one quick action.

               Your eyes looked at those amber eyes, then your eyesight went directly to the boy’s lips, they seemed to mutter something, but the pressure in your ears that he exerted was so prefect that he coupled the sound, maybe it influenced the size of his hands you thought, but leaving aside that effect, there was a little blush oh your cheeks because of the scene.

—Thank…you, Gladio—You muttered, lowering your eyes as the taller one freed you from that approach, which sent shivers down your spine.

—Come on, let’s go to bed…—And to say that in a certain way made you feel even more nervous.

               Gladio approached the bed and took the clothes, he entered after taking off his shoes with quick movements. You just stared at him in astonishment, as if you still didn’t believe what was going to happen.

—G-Gladio…. I —You started to hesitate.

—You must hurry—the brunette said, taking off his jackets and leaving it on the chair, continuing to the bed.

—O-ok… —You answered, getting rid of your jacket, feeling that the boy was watching you with attention.

               You looked up and saw how his eyes were again on you, on your figure and you started to blush, and he just looked away.

—S-Sorry… I didn’t wnat to bother you—murmured the brown haired boy.

               And the room light up again from one moment to another, making you jump inside the bed with your eyes closed, like a little girl scared at three years old.

—Don’t panic… you’re not alone—Gladiolus’s hoarse voice made you open your eyes and you would notice that you were against his chest, seeking refuge—You can sleep, I’ll be here watching your dream…

—…Thank you very much, Gladdy. —You whispered, looking down. And hiding your cheeks burning in a bright red.

—___________—Gladiolus called your name.

               You raised your face to attend to his call and like lightning, you received a kiss on your lips. A kiss that electrified every part of you, that surprised you completely.

               One of his big hands had taken place on your chin, and the other had won at your waist, leaving the feeling that where his hands were even after letting go, the heat they emitted was going to leave an empty feeling in your body, you know that. They were warm lips, which did nothing but exert a slight pressure against yours, and your small body next to a protective body for which you let yourself be protected slowly.

               A body belonging to a great man, with a big heart.

—Good night… —Gladio whispered, wreaking havoc on you with a hoarse voice.

—W-What was… that?—You asked, almost using a tone of complaint as soon as the brunette broke the contact between your lips.

—Something you can think about instead of listening to the storm—Gladio answered, closing his eyes.

—But, I...—You started to say.

—Good night—Gladio repeated, using a scolding tone.

               You were going to argue something else, but those strong arms surrounded you, his hand rested on your head and invited you, well, practically forced you to take refuge in his chest. However, it didn’t bother you, because you received the sound of an accelerated and nervous heart; Same as yours. Adding the intoxicating aroma of a man and the warmth with which your body sheltered you. All these details were the key to take you to a deep sleep, where the thunders couldn’t reach you, but where that brunette can reach you.

----------------------------------------------

Yeaaaaaaah, another update. I’ll already have the others, but like I said before, I have to translate them from spanish to english. 

Like and reblog if you like it, and share with people that love Gladio <3 

WHAT A MAN. 

[curls-cat]

Forever-after

Thank you for the submission anon! I’m... not sure I know you? If I do, tell me, but I don’t recognize the email lol. Anyway I’m posting it under a read more because I don’t wanna make people scroll down past something too long.

Waking up was always a struggle for Sabrina. Not because she wasn’t a morning person, (though it was part of it) but because she was afraid of the next prank puck would throw at her.

Puck had grown to make a routine, (the only one that he kept to) to prank her with something devilish every morning, and frankly, he seemed to be running out of ideas. Sense he super-glued that baseball to her head, they hadn’t talked much. Other that the occasional “hey” or “hello”, they never spoke. Now, Sabrina had gone through 5 years of his pranks, from the day they met, to today, she had woken up to a tarantula somewhere in her room, and a water balloon full of sewage.

But today was different. Not just because it was her birthday, but there was no prank. The whole morning she expected puck to be horrible, teasing her because she had one. But puck didn’t even glance at her. It wasn’t until breakfast when daphne spoke up to the surprising quietness.

“Happy birthday Sabrina” she mumbled with her mouth full of the strange purple French toast they were being served. Elvis perked up and looked at daphne with a knowing look. She smiled and tossed him one, and Sabrina watched as they both ate hungrily at the food. Relax walked in and looked at the room as if she was trying to solve a puzzle. After what seemed like forever, she seemed to have solved it and spoke to daphne.

“Łîbłíńg!, why don’t you take Elvis for a walk?” Sabrina sighed, pushing away the plate she had just sat dow to “enjoy”.

“Not you Sabrina” granny chuckled. “You have some talking to do!” She cried, nodding to puck.

“It’s OK granny, I will go with Daph,”. Sabrina cried, afraid of the moments she and puck would have alone.

Granny shot her a warning look, and Sabrina understood. Reluctantly, she grabbed her plate and pushed it aside, along with the large pot blocking her view from puck. The second she punched it aside, she almost screamed. Puck looked different. He had dark circles under his eyes, and looked shaky from head to toe. Sabrina rushes next to him, checking it he was ok. “Puck, what happend to you?!?” She half yelled. He seemed to have awoken from a trance, because when she placed her hand on his shoulder, he jumped in surprise, pushing her to the ground causing the table to shake, and the entire pot of steaming home made syrup to pour all over her. She shouted as she felt the boiling subtance cover her from head to toe. She was awaiting his cruel laughter as she felt tears come to her closed eyes because of the pain reaching her skin. But surprisingly, it never came. Instead, she felt someone pick her up quickly, and rush her up the stairs.

She thought her mom had come into the room while she ate but she wasn’t sure. Maybe it was her who picked her up? She didn’t know it it was the almost lava feeling syrup, or the shock from the accident, but she thought she heard pucks voice.

Of course a good NORMAL syrup wouldn’t have Incased itself into a cocoon after a minute of being in the open, but green syrup aperantly had that effect. All of this was happening waaaay too fast. One minute she was eating food, the next she was trapped in food unable to tell if it was puck or her mother almost dragging her to the restroom.

It seemed like days later she awoke in what seemed like a forest, looking up at a chimpanzee fighting a banana. She sat up, looking at the world around her. Of course… puck was above her, floating his was at a blinding speed toward her. She would have moved out of the way, if she could, but her arms wouldn’t allow her.

Instead of being greeted by an annoying laugh, or a rude comment, she felt puck’s arms around her and quiet sobbing.

“P-Puck, what are you-” she began

Puck looked up, and his still tired face, red from crying, was only inches from hers. Puck suddenly turned away, somehow even redder then before.

“I-I thought you were gone Sabrina…” he mumbled.

“Puck I-” she spoke before, yet another interruption awoke.

“Puck! We found Elvis!” Daphne screamed as she burst through the doors. “Are you any closer with Sabrina?” She said as her tone went from a shout to almost a whisper. I was about to speak, but puck shook his head.

“She hasn’t even flinched” he lied.

“Oh Puck” Daphne cried as she ran to give him a hug. “She will wake up soon” she assured him.

What was happening? First a hug from a crying puck, then they found Elvis, who was gone for like 5 minutes, and the strangest of all… Puck was allowing Daphne to hug him. No rude comments, just silence. Daphne backed away from him, and looked to the door.

“I guess I better go help uncle jake, that bullet did some damage to his knee. Good luck with Sabrina” she said as leaving the room.

The second she left, Puck rushed to Sabrina, his face a little more calm.

“Why did you lie to her puck?” She said in shock. Puck was everything but a liar. Literally. With all of the kingdoms, planets, and realms he had been banished from, he only lied with pranks.

“ you need rest, and… we need to talk Sabrina.”. He sounded serious. Like someone died serious.

“Do you know how long you have been asleep?” He said quietly.

“A few days?” I guessed, trying to match it while knowing that sleeping makes it seem like a lot less time.

“Try 4 months” he whispered coldly

I gasped, not knowing what to say.

“Elvis went missing the day you were burned, and now he’s back the day you wake. Coincidence? I think not,”. He said.

“Elvis went missing?” Sabrina almost shouted.

“Shhhhh!” He shot.

“Sorry” Sabrina mumbled.

“You were cast under a spell of some sort. We tried so many things, but it seemed to be a timed curse. You woke up when Elvis came back, so that means there is a connection of some sort.” He said while floating down next to her.

“Elvis found a girlfriend” he said with what seemed like… jealousy?

Sabrina was shocked. Was puck jealous that a dog got a girlfriend faster than he could in 4,000 years?

Puck looked at her, sitting her up. “I think it’s time I got one too,”. He said looking at her with an unbreakable stare.

Sabrina didn’t know what to say. Was this really puck? Why was he so… nice?

“I have been worried to the point where I tried to kill mys-“ he stopped, deciding if it was a good idea to say that.

“Puck!” She shouted. “Why would you, in all of your life, ever do that to yourself!” She felt tears come to her eyes as he looked down in shame, breaking the stare.

“Because Sabrina…” he started, “I-I love you…” He finished.

“Puck, I…” her voice softened.

He caught her words with a kiss, and then flew off.

(5 years later) Do you take Sabrina as your lawfully wedded wife? “I do” he said.

And Sabrina, do you take puck as your lawfully wedded husband?

“ I do” she said through a wide smile.

“Then you may now, kiss the bride.”

They both warmly embraced each other, a smile spread a mile wide. They would live happily ever after.

Thousand of years could pass and still, they would love each other. Because Sabrina found she became an everafter as well, because when Elvis went missing, so did her human. Their spirits became protected, and forever more, she stayed in ferrypot landing, protecting what she loved. Though her family passed on, she taught every new generation, including her own children. And for futures to come. Though sometimes she still awoke to a tarantula or two, she began learning how to live with it.

The end

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

The Bodyguard

Chapter Eight

Master List  |  Bucky Barnes Master List

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC  |  Word Count: 6649 Warnings: language, angst, dark themes - discussion of sexual assault

Penny was in the middle of washing the dishes after dinner when the house phone rang. She exchanged a look with Bucky, knowing it would be security announcing a visitor. If it were Steve, he would just come up, and no one else was scheduled to visit.

At least tonight she’d gotten the chance to eat the spaghetti before being interrupted. They’d managed to have an enjoyable dinner in which they’d discussed a few of her projects in greater detail without snapping, snarling, or yelling at each other.

She was pleasantly full. In fact, she’d eaten more today than she usually did in three days. Barnes was obsessed with stuffing food in her face and with cutting back her caffeine intake. She’d reached for her fifth cup of coffee when they’d returned from the lab, only to be handed a cup of tea instead. As she’d been on the phone with the Head of Oncology at Johns Hopkins, she hadn’t the ability to bitch Barnes out, ending up drinking the surprisingly tasty tea.

By six he’d been dragging her to her feet, refusing to let her stay longer her first day back, and hustled her out the door, down the elevator, and into the car even as she protested she still had work to do. He’d ignored her, and by the time they got to the parking garage beneath her apartment, Penny had been dozing off in the back seat. 

When Bucky had smirked at her standing in the open car door, Penny had just rolled her eyes and shooed him out of the way, deciding a bath was on the docket for tonight after dinner. She hadn’t realized he’d saved the pasta from the night before, but he’d muttered about waste not want not something she remembered his mother saying, and gone to heat them both plates while she’d changed out of her work clothes.

Bucky’s suit jacket hung on the back of one of the bar stools along with his shoulder harness. He hadn’t bothered to change himself yet, though his sleeves were rolled to the elbows as he’d been helping dry the dishes. When he answered the house phone, it was with a blunt, “Yes?”

Penny watched his face harden and pulled the plug on the sink. She’d put on leggings and a tank top, adding thick socks and a warm wool cardigan she wrapped tighter around herself.

“I don’t give a flying fuck what he’s insisting,” Bucky growled. “The answer is no.”

“Bucky?” she murmured, stepping closer. He mouthed the words, call your lawyer, and caused her heart to kick erratically when she scrambled for her phone.

“Tell Detective McGilvery he can cool his heels in the lobby until Miss Rogers lawyer arrives and ride up with her.” He hung up before the guard could respond and looked pointedly at Penny.

“Tamara? I’m sorry to call you so late, but the Detective from earlier is in my lobby. Alright, I’ll see you soon.” Penny hung up and placed her phone on the island before gripping her elbows. “What do we tell him?”

Bucky moved around the counter to stand before her and gently rub her upper arms. “The truth. You went down to get in your car. It blew up, and in the process of getting to your panic room to wait for Steve, the guard shot at you, and the men were already waiting when you got upstairs.”

“And if he asks about why?”

“You tell the truth. You don’t know why,” Bucky said, drawing her in for a hug. “I’m right here, Pen. If he gets out of line, I’ll kick his ass out of here.”

She leaned into him, finding his warmth so comforting, and wrapped her arms around his waist. It was ridiculously easy to accept his help. It was even easier to rest her forehead against his throat and breathe his scent, something musky with a hint of citrus. Bucky’s hand gently stroked her hair, his fingers tangling and carding, working through the loose curls she’d released from her ponytail earlier.

“Maybe it’s weird, but I liked having you around today,” she admitted.

“It was… enlightening,” Bucky chuckled. “You’re so damn smart, Pen. I can see why Steve brags so much.”

Penny lifted her head and smirked up at him. “I thought you didn’t pay attention?”

Something flared to life in his eyes, and his hand closed in her hair. “Some things stuck,” he murmured.

His metal hand ever so gently cupped her cheek. His thumb swept over her lip and paused in the center. He tugged it down, rubbing a little. It made Penny’s heart skip and the breath catch in her lungs. His gaze jumped from her lips to her eyes, and Penny could feel her cheeks warm at his look of appreciation.

“You sure grew up pretty, Pen,” he said softly. “One gorgeous dame.”

You sure grew up pretty… The words sent a shiver of memory through her which seemed to echo in her head. Terror streaked down her spine, and she ripped herself away from Bucky, her hand flying to her mouth as bile rose up her throat when she almost lost the dinner she’d just eaten.

“Penny?” Bucky’s voice rose with concern. “Baby what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she croaked. When he tried to touch her, she skittered out from under his hands. “Don’t touch me!”

“Penny.” Bucky held his hands up and out, not touching her but not allowing her to move away from where he cornered her against the kitchen island. “I’m not going to hurt you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “I’m fine.”

“Pen,” he murmured, sliding closer. “It does matter.”

It couldn’t. She’d buried the memories of that time so deep she’d thought she’d gotten rid of them. Now, with a single simple utterance, they were pounding at her, wanting out, shaking the very foundations of everything she’d done to make herself immune to them. “I can’t. I can’t, Bucky. Don’t make me do it,” she whimpered, his face seeming to rise out of the dark in her mind.

Penny squeezed her eyes tightly closed, fighting with every ounce of her being to shut it out. To shut him out. Bucky’s arms wrapped around her and Penny cried out, jerking against him when he wouldn’t let go.

***

“It’s okay, Pen. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I swear. Just breathe, baby. You’re gonna have a panic attack if you don’t.”

She went limp, unable to fight him and the memories at the same time. When Bucky lifted her up, she wrapped herself around him like a snake and held on until he deposited her on the dark grey sofa in the living room and dragged the white throw from the back to tuck around her.

He didn't know what the trigger had been, but he knew fear when he saw it. This wasn't from her recent trauma. This was old, deeply buried, and painful. A wound she hid that had festered. Once she was covered beneath the heavy blanket, Bucky gently collected her hands.

“Penny.” He didn't know what to say.

She shook her head. “Don't, James.”

“Look, doll, I won't push,” not yet anyway, “but have you talked to someone about this?”

She sighed and looked away. “It was a long time ago. I thought I'd gotten past it.”

Shame filled her face. Embarrassment followed. Bucky prayed as he hadn't in years that what he suspected was wrong, but he’d seen enough faces of abuse to recognize it. To find it on hers, on Penelope's, broke something inside him.

Nat’s voice whispered in his mind. You weren't the cause, but you made her choice easier.

“My God, Pen. My God,” he whispered, horrified as moments from that night began to click together in his mind.

“Don't. Please, James. Not now,” she whimpered.

He dropped his head to her thigh and breathed through his mouth until the shaking stopped. They were about to have unwelcome guests. Being this out of control could be dangerous.

The light touch of her hand in his hair nearly broke him all over again. “I could really use a stiff drink, Buck,” she said softly.

He lifted his head to look at her. The sad smile shattered his heart. But then she cupped his cheek.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

No, it wasn't, but she was trying to pull herself together, and he rose to stand on weak legs, and stumble his way to the brass and glass cart near the fireplace where he poured three fingers of scotch for her, and an entire tumbler for himself. He drank half of it before returning to her side.

She took the glass but gripped his hand before he could walk away. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“Why shouldn't I?”

“Because none of it was your fault,” she sighed, appearing small and fragile.

He threw the rest of the scotch down his throat relishing the burn which dried the threatening tears but didn't let go of her hand. “Steve doesn't know, does he?”

“No.”

“Does anyone?”

She pressed the tumbler to her cheek. “Becca.”

He ground his teeth together and put the glass down before he broke it. “I'm sorry, Pen.”

“I know.”

She didn't look up but didn't release his hand either. That single point of contact was the only thing keeping him steady in his suddenly upside down world. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. Comfort her like he should have all those years ago. Shame made him sick to his stomach for how he'd treated her that night. It rolled in his gut.

He wanted to ask. It was worse not knowing the extent of how badly he’d missed the signs. There he was, jealous, angry, thinking she'd let someone paw at her, only to find out-

He slammed the brakes on that train of thought when the sound of the elevator starting its ascent dinged through the main floor of the apartment.

“We’ve got this,” she assured him, looking a little steadier than she had, though the erratic tripping of her heart concerned him.

“Take deep breaths, Pen,” he murmured, releasing her fingers to stride up the few steps from her sunken living area and cross the floor to wait arms crossed before the elevator.

No wonder she didn't date. She didn't trust men.

When Bucky caught a glimpse of himself in the polished doors, he thrust a hand through his hair and quickly rolled down his sleeves. He had his glove out and on, and a semblance of control returned to his face before the doors opened.

Detective McGilvrey was, according to his record, a good cop. But even good cops on paper could be bad guys. Bucky didn't trust his squeaky clean record.

When the second ding announced the arrival of the elevator, he slipped his right hand to the small of his back and gripped the Glock tucked there.

Tamara burst forth, paused, her eyes darting over him, before stepping around Bucky to head for the living room. It was clear she'd come from some class as her hair was tied up, her clothes were leggings and a tank top over a colourful sports bra beneath a warm coat, and the sky-high heels from earlier were now running shoes.

“Miss Smith,” he nodded to Tamara.

“Sergeant Barnes,” she said, her eyes sharp and face pinched. Evidently, her ride up in the elevator hadn't been a pleasant one with the detective for company.

“McGilvery,” he growled at the man. “Miss Rogers has had a long day. Make it quick and watch yourself our I'll be seeing you out of the building.”

“Why do I feel like, “The fast way,” should be tacked onto that statement,” he muttered, indicating the glass windows and balcony with a jerk of his chin.

A slow smile spread over Bucky's mouth when he stepped out of the way and motioned the man to proceed him, his right hand still gripping his gun. “Take it whatever way you want.”

McGilvery's shoes clicked on the floors, and Bucky smirked when the detective became aware his did not. The man's shoulders tightened and rose an inch before he forced them to relax, but Bucky could see the way the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

“You ex-military?” McGilvery asked.

“When is anyone ever ex-military?” Bucky murmured.

“Marines, two tours in Afghanistan. You?”

“You think I'm stupid, Detective? You know who I am,” Bucky chuckled.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'm a fan. Never thought I'd come face to face with James Barnes when I went to speak with Miss Rogers.”

“Hoping for Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Miss Romanoff actually.”

Bucky snorted. “The Widow would eat you alive.”

McGilvery shot him a look and a wry smile. “Would you think less of me if that was what I was hoping for?”

A chuckle escaped him. The guy was charismatic when he wanted to be; Bucky would give him that. It wasn't hard to see Penny's blonde head where she was propped in the corner of the couch in her wide open floor plan, and Bucky followed McGilvery into the living room where Tamara had taken a seat beside Penny. Bucky stopped at Penny's side and laid his hand gently on her shoulder.

“Miss Rogers, thank you for seeing me. It's rather difficult to get past all your defences,” McGilvery said, taking a seat across the coffee table from her.

“Not difficult enough,” Penny murmured, sipping from her cup.

“I know you've been through a trying time. I'll make this quick and painless,” McGilvery said with a smile.

Penny shuddered beneath Bucky's hand. “I'd appreciate you getting on with it then, Detective instead of repeating the words my assailant used to see if you can get a reaction.”

“Ask your questions, Detective,” Tamara said sharply.

“Nate, please ladies. No need for formalities. After all, it's not as if Miss Rogers had anything to do with her assault.” He looked straight at Penny.

“Why would I?” Penny snapped.

“Just what are you implying, Detective? That my client hired those people? For what purpose?” Tamara demanded.

“People have done stranger things for publicity, or to cover up something else. After all, you've got that nasty company audit coming up. What better way to push it back then an attack on the owner.”

Penny stiffened. “What?”

McGilvery smirked. “Come now, Miss Rogers. Don't play innocent. Your capital gains and losses are off the charts. And with the rumours you'll be going public in the next year swirling, it was bound to happen that the IRS would be sticking their nose in.”

“Bucky, I need my phone,” she breathed on a rush of air.

Though he didn't like leaving her, it wasn't far from the kitchen, and he could see all the players easily enough. When he returned with it, no one had moved or spoken. Penny took it from him, dialled a preset number, clicked the speaker button, and set it on the coffee table in front of her.

It rang five times before he picked it up. “Penny, dear! How are you?” From the sound of the background noise, the man was partying rather hard.

“Cut the crap, Marcus!” Penny snapped. “Am I being audited?”

Silence, then the background noise faded as a door clicked shut. “Look, Penny…”

“Son of a bitch, Marcus! Why didn't you tell me?” she exploded.

“It was your first day back!” he whined.

“Marcus, don’t! From the sounds of it, this isn't something you just found out about! Why didn't you tell me before?”

“It's fine, Penny. I've got it under control.”

“You'd better,” she snarled and hung up, an unholy fire blazing in her eyes. “As you can see, Detective, I have only just been made aware of this. And as my brother has already stated, the attack on me had to do with getting back at him.”

“With an inside twist,” McGilvery said. “After all, your building has more security than most in the city. They had to have help getting in.”

“The new higher security guard was the source of that, Detective, as you should also know,” Tamara snapped. “My client had nothing to do with what's happened.”

“What were they after, Penelope? What were they looking for in your office?” McGilvery pressed, leaning forward.

“I don't know!” Penny said, slamming her glass down on the coffee table.

“This interview is over,” Bucky stated coldly, motion for McGilvery to stand up.

“This had nothing to do with your brother, did it? We can't protect you if you don't coopera-"

McGilvery never got to finish his sentence when Bucky wrapped his gloved hand around the man's throat, thumb and forefinger squeezing his jawbone hard enough to make it clear Bucky could and would break it to shut him up, and lifted the large man with minimal effort to his feet.

“I said you're done. Time to go.” He jerked the detective around and gave him a shove which sent him stumbling toward the stairs.

“I could have you arrested for assaulting an officer!” McGilvery snarled.

“You could try,” Bucky smiled darkly. “But then, I outrank you, Detective. So you go ahead. Let's see what happens.”

McGilvery ground his teeth together and stormed for the elevator. When the doors opened, Bucky reached around and pounded the button for the lobby.

“This isn't over,” Nate stated as the doors began to close.

Bucky caught them before they could. “You just came into Penelope Rogers home and harassed her. Yeah, Detective, it is. And when I explain this fucking shit show to her brother and just how upset she was by it, boy, you'll be lucky to keep your badge.” Bucky let the doors go on McGilvery's pale face.

Penny was speaking quietly with Tamara when he returned. “Did you know?”

“Penny, I didn't. I swear. I don't know why he didn't contact legal as soon as the notice arrived.” Tamara fidgeted with her shirt. “Marcus has been… distant lately.”

“Distant?” Penny frowned. “How?”

“Whispered conversations. Late night texts. He disappears for hours and won't tell me where he's gone. Penny, I know I'm not exactly an attentive girlfriend being busy with my firm, but I thought… we were happy. Now? I don't know,” she shrugged.

“Oh, Tam.” Penny threw her arms around the woman. “I'm so sorry. I haven't exactly been the best friend these last few years, have I?”

“We’re all busy now, but I do miss Friday night drinks,” Tamara sighed, hugging her back.

“We’re going to try harder,” Penny announced.

“I'm in!” Tamara laughed. “Ugh, but not tonight. I smell like spin class.”

Penny’s nose wrinkled. “Maybe a little.”

“Wow,” Tamara smirked. “Kick a girl when she's down. And in front of hot bodyguard. Some friend you are.”

A snort left Penny when she turned to look at Bucky, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “He's not that hot. I've seen better.”

“Your pretty boy brother doesn't count,” Bucky groused, causing both women to laugh.

***

Later, after Tamara and Penny had spent another hour visiting and regaling Bucky with stories of their university adventures, he showed Tamara to the elevator.

“Sergeant?” she said softly, her hand hovering over the button for the lobby. “Take care of her. She acts tough, but she's more fragile than people know.”

“She's stronger than you think, Miss Smith.”

“Even strong people can break under this kind of stress. She's terrible at needing people. I think she's going to need you, and not just for protection.”

Tamara’s dark eyes locked with his as the elevator doors closed. Something in them warned him to heed her request.

Bucky turned around to find the living room empty and sighed, wondering if Penny had gone to bed. He had questions. Lots of questions. Was he ever going to get answers? Then the light clicked on in her office, and he headed down the hall.

Penny was talking to her AI when he arrived in the doorway. “Friday, you remember those numbers you said were funky in the last round of financials Marcus sent us?”

“Of course, Penny.”

“It’s time to take a closer look,” she all but growled. “Full scan. In-depth. Dig deep, girl.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Friday murmured.

“How can I help?” Bucky asked, striding into the room.

“Coffee?” she said, glancing his way.

“You won’t sleep tonight,” he murmured.

“I won’t be sleeping anyway.” She stood to her full height, the look on her face the bone-chilling one of the Ice Queen. “The only reason I can think of for him not telling me about this when it happened? Marcus has been cooking my books. My books! Dammit!” She brought her fist down on the desk hard enough it had to hurt.

“Pen, if he has you’ll find it,” he said, striding forward to collect her hands before she could do herself further damage.

“Why, though?” she asked, suddenly sounding lost and confused along with angry. “He’s paid better than anyone else on staff. The man makes seven figures a year! There’s no reason to steal from me. And these rumours about going public? That’s the second time I’ve heard it today! What the hell is going on in my company?”

“Baby,” Bucky murmured, releasing her hands to frame her face. The hurt in her eyes gutted him. “People steal for any number of reasons, but if he was embezzling from your company, and he thought killing you would give him control and get the government off his back, allowing him the time to take the company public and replace the funds he’d stolen… Penny, that’s motive.”

She inhaled sharply.

“Now,” he murmured, gently massaging the tight muscles of her neck. “You run the numbers. I’m going to work a deep dive into Marcus’s background. I already skimmed the surface today, but I’ll look deeper and see what I can find.”

“Okay.” She closed her eyes and exhaled hard. Her shoulders slumped right before her forehead landed on his chest. “I hate all of this.”

“I know, Pen. I know,” Bucky murmured, hugging her carefully. “I’ll make the coffee.” He patted her back and headed for the kitchen.

***

Hours later, Bucky had a sick feeling in his stomach when he set his tablet down and looked at Penny dozing off at her desk. He had more questions then he did answers, but one thing had become glaringly apparent.

Taft had ties to Hydra.

Penny’s eyes closed and stayed that way. Her breathing deepened, and Bucky stood slowly to his feet. He may have made the coffee, but he hadn’t promised to make it caffeinated. He preferred tea anyway. Too many cups of coffee and he was jittering, on edge, and surly. Tea had a much more soothing effect and didn’t make him jumpy.

“Friday,” he murmured, still watching Penny.

“Yes, Sergeant?”

“How bad is it?” he asked.

“I’m still compiling the data,” she said.

“Guess.”

She was quiet for a moment before a sound like a sigh registered. “I have looked at the last five years of financials from Mr. Taft. All five years show discrepancies. The information Penny has been given does not correlate with what has been coming in and going out from the different departments. I have also found two departments which do not exist. One has money being syphoned into it. The other has money going out.”

“Are you saying someone is washing their money through Penny’s company?”

“It appears so,” Friday murmured. “But the money going out is higher than what is coming in. So far, thirty million is missing.”

“Son of a bitch!” Bucky hissed.

“And I am not yet finished. Penny has had this company for ten years. If Taft has been doing this since the beginning, it will be higher.”

Bucky scrubbed his hand over his face. “Fuck. Can you follow the money? See where it is going?”

“I already have. It is routed many times into offshore accounts, and while I am talented, I am not Jarvis. I do not have the ability to slip past their firewalls to see where it has gone.”

“You’re saying Stark’s AI could get us all the way to the end point?”

“It is highly probable,” she agreed.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and made the call, unsurprised when Stark answered the phone at three in the morning.

“Tinman, what do you want? It better not be that arm. It was perfect when you left.”

Bucky snorted at that after what Penny had to say about it earlier. “Hardly, Stark. I need your AI.”

Tony remained silent for a moment before muttering, “He’s already in the vehicle. What more could you need?”

“Friday says Jarvis can do what she can’t. I need your AI to follow the money.”

“Money?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, money. And before you ask, no, I won’t tell you what money. Let’s just say it has to do with Penny and why she was attacked. Can I borrow him or not?”

“Barnes, Jarvis isn’t I toy I can lend you, you can hand back when you’re done. Once he’s in the system, he’s in. You can’t limit what he does and what he knows.”

“Friday?” Bucky murmured. “Thoughts?”

“Perhaps… Jarvis could teach me what I need to know to be of better assistance to Penny? I would appreciate the company,” she said softly.

“Who the hell is Friday?” Stark asked.

“Penny’s Jarvis,” Bucky muttered. “Do it.”

“I’ll email you a link. Open it and set your phone on Penelope’s desk.”

Stark hung up, and a second later Bucky’s phone chimed with the email. “You sure about this, Friday?”

“No, but I need the assistance,” she admitted.

Bucky took a deep breath, shot a glance at Penny, and blew it out. “She’s gonna skin me, I just know it.” Still, he tapped the link and laid his phone on her desk before moving to her side and lifting her from her chair.

She mumbled something unintelligible and curled into him trustingly. Bucky’s heart lurched. Her trust after what he’d learned today was humbling, and while he wanted answers, tonight wasn’t the time to ask for them. But he vowed to be more careful with her.

Striding from the room, Bucky took her up the stairs two at a time. She was too light to his mind, and even at rest, he could hear the strange fluttering of her heart. It didn’t beat as it should but skipped and jumped around. The sound was odd, but he pushed aside for later contemplation.

He took her to her bed and laid her down, gently removing her sweater and socks before covering her with the throw from the foot of her bed. It was a moment of deja vu, but this time he sat on the edge of it and brushed her hair from her cheek. Her face was soft in sleep; her long lashes pillowed on her cheeks. She was beautiful no matter how he looked at her, but now she looked fragile and so very innocent.

Guilt soured his stomach again. “I’m sorry, Pen,” he whispered. “Sorry for not seeing it then. So damn sorry for how I acted. I was a stupid, jealous idiot. I thought… it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should never have done what I did when you were upset.”

She surprised him when she rolled over and looked at him, her blue eyes dark with memories. “I had such a crush on you.”

Bucky looked away, more guilt weighing on him. “I was immature and stupid.”

“I wanted to hate you. I did for a while.”

“Will you tell me what happened?” he asked, his voice breaking.

This time she looked away. Then she sat up, pulled her knees to her chest, and set her chin on them. “Becca and I went to that party. I was feeling pretty good what with being newly seventeen and having finally caught the notice of James Barnes. I think I was living on a virtual high with how giddy spending time with you made me feel,” she smirked a little, then sighed. “Marcy’s parents were out of town, and by the time we got there, the party was huge. Becca was seeing Kevin at the time and ditched me as soon as she found him, but I was used to it. I love her, but the girl was boy crazy. I went and got a drink and hung out with some other friends, then…” she hesitated, her breath catching, “this guy came up and started talking to me.”

“Did you know him?” Bucky asked, wondering if she went to school with them.

Penny shook her head. “He was older than me. Some friend of a friend’s brother or something.” She closed her eyes and set her cheek on her knee; her face turned toward him. “He offered to get me a drink.”

His heart dropped into his stomach. “Pen.”

“The stupid thing is, I knew better, but I thought that could never happen to me. I kept thinking that right up until I came to with him on top of me.” Tears filled her voice, hoarse and torn enough to make Bucky’s ache in sympathy. “I didn’t know him, but he knew me. He said, “I sure grew up pretty,” and thanked me for the fuck. I was so horrified and disgusted both with him and myself I threw up over the side of the bed. It freaked him out, and he got off of me, threw out the condom he’d used, got dressed and left. For a moment, all I could think was, “Thank God he used protection.’”

“Penny.” Hearing it was like being stabbed with a knife to the heart over and over.

“I tore my shirt getting dressed I was in such a hurry to get the hell out of there, but I could taste him in my mouth.” She gave a silent gasp, tears escaping past her closed lids. “I don’t even know what he did. I hurt... everywhere, but he’d been in my mouth…”

Bucky wanted to reach out and hold her but was afraid to touch her until she groped for his hand.

“So I stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a can of beer, but I was shaking so hard I spilled it on myself. I drank half of it before I couldn’t taste him anymore and then left, running home to hide in the treehouse.”

“Where I showed up and…” Bucky couldn’t finish. “God, Pen.” The tears he’d been fighting spilled down his cheeks. “I’m the biggest jerk.”

She squeezed his hand. “You didn’t know. I was too numb and too sick and embarrassed and horrified to be able to express myself. I could hardly admit it to myself, let alone tell you. God!” She gave a choked laugh. “I was terrified to tell anyone. So scared you’d be as disgusted with me as I was with myself.”

“Jesus, Penny! Of course not! Fuck, if Steve and I had known, we would have hunted that fucker down and-” He cut himself off from finishing with castrated him.

“Made him eat his own balls?” she murmured, her ocean eyes peering out at him from behind her wet lashes.

“Something like that, yeah,” he murmured. “You know not every man is like that.”

She gave a tired sigh. “I know that in theory, but then I met Aaron in Uni.”

His blood froze. Not twice. If she said it happened twice, he was going to lose his mind.

“It’s not what you think,” she murmured, evidently seeing the panic on his face. “We dated, but I couldn’t… when things would get physical, I got…” Red filled her cheeks as she turned her face away. “I don’t even remember what happened thanks to the drugs, but I just… just couldn’t. And he was okay with it. He didn’t push me for sex. I was so thankful until I realized he was using me. He stole one of my very first designs and tried to pass it off as his own. Thankfully I had the documents and things to back up my claim, but when I confronted him about it and asked him if anything about our relationship was real,” she pressed her forehead to her knees, “he laughed,” Penny whispered. “Laughed and called me frigid. He and his buddies had quite the chuckle over the whole thing.”

“Christ!” Bucky hissed.

“I got the last laugh when I had him arrested for theft, and then turned around and sold my invention for fifty thousand.”

“Dollars!” Bucky barked.

Penny chuckled. “Yeah. Dollars.” She leaned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder. “After Aaron, I gave up on men. What was the point when they just kept taking things from me? The only one I could trust to have my back was Steve, and you were right about one thing. There’s no one like him, and few people can live up to his standards. Now with what Marcus is probably doing, it looks like my luck with men is holding.”

She gave a defeated sigh and Bucky wrapped his arm around her. “I’m real sorry, Pen. I should never have said what I did. It was mean, and I was jealous.”

“Jealous?” she whispered. “Why?”

“I thought…” He couldn’t say it, not after what she’d just told him. “I was mad because… fuck! I was twenty-four, and so fucking attracted to you — my best friend’s seventeen-year-old sister. You were so sweet and good and lovely. Looking at you helped me forget some of the less tenable parts of what Steve and I were being asked to do. The idea you’d… been with someone else, I was hurt and jealous and said foolish things.”

She lifted her head to look at him, surprise in her eyes. “You… you wanted me?”

“Yeah, Pen. I wanted you.”

“I so badly wanted you to kiss me on my birthday,” she whispered. “Then when you did after what happened… all I could think was, “If you knew what had just happened, you’d be so disgusted by me.” I didn’t even know what he’d done, and your mouth was on mine. Then you said what you did, and it was everything I felt about myself at that moment.”

“Baby girl,” Bucky gently cupped her chin in his hand. “I could never be disgusted with you. Nothing that happened was your fault. You know that right?”

“I knew better than to take that drink,” she whispered, her eyes haunted.

“He chose to drug you. He’s the one who-” Bucky swallowed the bile in his throat, “raped you. None of that is on you, Pen.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I know that, but I still feel… dirty. It’s been years, but I can’t shake the feeling. Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed to be disappointed in men. Steve’s so… good. It’s like he’s all the good I’m allowed to have.”

“That’s not true, Pen. You can’t think like that!” he insisted, pulling her closer until they were hip to hip, her hand linked with his, the other curled against his chest. “There are good guys out there besides Steve.” He shifted his metal hand to the back of her neck and drew her up out of her hunched position. “There are other guys you can trust to have your back. Like me.”

“James,” she whispered, her hand gliding up to rest against his neck; her thumb skimmed the edge of his jaw, back and forth over his stubble.

“Penny, baby girl,” he swallowed thickly. “Can I tell you something?”

“Considering everything I just told you?” She gave a wry smile. “Yeah, Bucky. Anything.”

His gaze drifted down to her lips, plump and pink and parted before lifting to lock with her eyes. The ocean blue was mesmerizing, deep and dark and mysterious like the sea itself. “I wanted to kiss you on your birthday, too.”

Her breath shuddered out, and her gaze dropped to his lips. “I wish you had.”

“I would have done it so differently,” he murmured, her thumb continuing to gently stroke his jaw.

“How?” she whispered.

“Softer, gentler. Sweet like you.”

Her hand skimmed slowly forward until her thumb rubbed over his lower lip. “You were my first.”

He groaned and let his forehead rest against hers. “Damn, Pen. Now I really feel like shit.”

“Then… um…” She cleared her throat and looked away. “Maybe we could have a do-over?”

“Is that what you want?” he asked, his heart jumping to his throat. 

Her lashes lifted slowly to reveal the uncertainty but also the tentative hope in her eyes. “It would be nice to have one from someone who wanted to, and who didn’t want to take something from me in return,” she whispered.

“Baby, are you sure?”

She pulled away. “If you don’t want to, Bucky just say so.”

Bucky tugged her back. “I didn’t say that, darlin’. Not at all. You’ve just told me some pretty emotional stuff. I don’t want to take advantage here.”

“You’re not,” she said, slowly shaking her head. “You won’t be.”

He lightly stroked her spine. “A do-over, huh?”

“Please?”

“Baby girl, that was real sweet,” he sighed, a smile twitching his lips. “Should I show you how it should have been? Your first kiss.”

“Please, James,” she purred, carding her fingers through his hair.

“Damn,” he smirked. “That’s real nice.” His hand tightened gently in Penny’s hair and pulled to tilt her chin up. He took his time bringing their mouths together, watching desire swim in her ocean blues. Their noses brushed, bumped, and rubbed together as he teased her a little, his upper lip ever so lightly skimming hers until a quiet whimper left her. Only then did he take her lips, her sweet, soft lips in a tender kiss. The kind of kiss that lingered. The kind of first kiss she deserved. The kind that smouldered instead of burned.

Her lips parted on a gentle sigh. Bucky couldn’t help but flick his tongue over the bottom one. Penny’s arm went around his neck as he lifted her to his thigh. The taste of her was like candy, sweet and sinful when her tongue tangled with his. She moaned and he echoed it, deciding kissing her was a bad idea. Penny was addictive. He was never going to get enough.

Penny pulled slowly back, her lips clinging to his until the last possible second. Her quiet sigh was nearly his undoing, so he drew her down and kissed her again. It was just as soft and sweet, just as tender until she sank her teeth into his lower lip and nibbled.

“Penny,” Bucky groaned.

She smiled when she lifted her head and ran her fingers through his hair. “Thank you, James.”

“Any time, baby girl,” he murmured. “Any time.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, and Bucky held her close. It was comfortable, and though he still felt terrible about how he’d treated her and what she’d gone through, he thought maybe they’d found a place to start from again. If she could trust him, he would do his best to help her heal the worst of her wounds.

Bucky tucked his nose down in her hair and breathed in the scent of peaches and vanilla. The smell made him smile even as her trauma made his heart ache.

Next Chapter

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[pagesofivy]

The Downfall of Thought

Warnings: Angst, panic attacks, dark thoughts

Prompt: Fluffy supportive Loki. Body positive, mental health support

Commission by @redlipstickandplaid

Summary: You’re battling a silent battle with anxiety and depression, and finally hitting rock bottom is the wake-up call you need.

Beta: @winchester-with-wings

A/N: This one was something I felt I needed to tackle, and it just sort of grew around itself. It isn’t shameful to be hurting, and it isn’t shameful to ask for help. I’ve slowly learned that, still struggle with it, and feel like it’s an important lesson for many people.

W.C. 2461

Tags are at the bottom!

You stare down at your phone and chew your lip as you deliberate what you’re going to do about the text on the screen:

“Hey, are you coming out with us tonight?”

Your fingers mindlessly tap the edges of the screen, not actually typing your answer. Are you going? Can you handle going? Can you get away with not going? Do you have an excuse that’s believable? Maybe. Here goes nothing.

“Sorry, I can’t tonight, work has me swamped.”

It’s a lame excuse, but nobody ever questions it, you don’t use the work excuse often. A few “take care!” and “We miss you!” texts come through the group thread and you feel grateful they’re so understanding, but at the same time, there’s that whisper of doubt: They’re tired of you never being around. They see through your excuses and they’re going to stop asking you to hang out. And then you’ll lose them for good. And you know Loki will follow. And then work.

Work. Oh shit. Sure, you usually work from home, but you haven’t sat down and actually done work in quite a while now; you’re too far behind on your responsibilities. Pulling out your laptop from its bag, you open your email inbox and stare in blank panic at the increasingly threatening subject lines from your boss:

“New Assignment” “Progress Check” “Due ASAP” “Due TODAY” “PAST DUE” “Meeting Needed” “CALL ME”

You can’t catch your breath, feel simultaneously like the walls are falling in and like you’re drowning, flailing and getting nowhere, pushed further down by the weight of responsibility you can’t handle anymore, and the voice is back:

Lost your friends, lost your job, just wait until you lose Loki! It won’t be long until you’re alone and have to admit to your parents you fucked up your life and have to move in with them. What a failure, you really screwed up this time!

“Stop!” The word is shrieked out loud and then the world is quiet, the voice silent. You open the emails, scan them for important details and quell your panic, shutting it in an emotional box for later. You reply to the last email, give a long explanation that’s half a lie, and shut the computer, taking multiple deep breaths and trying to strengthen your mental walls to be able to handle the stress you’re drowning in. You grab your anxiety pills and take one, then open a notebook and start a to-do list, feeling like maybe this time you’ll get your shit together and be a successful adult. The list fills up the whole page, but it’s mostly baby steps or basics that need accomplished, things like “Do the dishes. Shower. Order dinner. Read the first chapter of the story (to be edited).”

You stare at the list, trying to decide what to do first and finally land on ordering pizza. It’s an easy task, considering the shop has an app, so the task is done in seconds, and you scratch it off with a sense of relief. Deciding you can tackle something a little more, you start the dishes, filling up the sink with water and soap and placing some plates and silverware in to soak, but then Loki comes in using the key you had given him, and everything is forgotten. “Loki!” You exclaim, drying your hands and throwing your arms around him as he steps up to you and kisses your forehead.

“Hello there my love. How was your day? I hope it’s okay I stopped by?” He looks at you with his signature playful grin and you can’t help but smile back, nodding enthusiastically.

“It’s always okay when you stop by, Loki. Having you around is a blessing.” You wince at how needy that sounds, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Instead, his eyes lock on the pill bottle and concern paints his face.

“How are you feeling, (Y/N)?” He asks cautiously, and you flush, embarrassed knowing he caught sight of your meds.

“I-I’m fine, Loki. I had a moment, but I’m good now.” You give him a tumultuous smile, lying through your teeth because you’re still shaky on the inside, and he smiles softly at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead and giving your waist a squeeze.

“If you need me, you can always call, you know that,” Loki murmurs, and you nod, even though you have your doubts. If you called him as often as you needed him to calm you down or give reassurances, you’d be calling him nearly every day, if not more frequently, and you know that’s something you can’t do, not without being seen as too fragile and weak, so it won’t happen. You can’t look weak.

Someone knocks on the door and you extract yourself from Loki’s hold, grabbing your wallet and sending him a guilty smile. “I got a pizza , I was hungry. You’re welcome to some if you want!” You offer before opening the door and exchanging the money for the food, your stomach growling as the delicious smell wafts under your nose.  

You then shut the door and return to the couch, setting the pizza box on the coffee table in front of you. Loki grabs a slice out and picks up the television remote, queueing up your regular show on Netflix. He settles in, smiling as you relax with your own slice and cuddle up to him.

~~~

A few weeks pass, and your mental health has only gotten worse.

Your apartment has become a mess with laundry, trash, and dishes piled everywhere. You rarely leave unless absolutely necessary; and you haven’t been in touch with much of anyone lately. You’ve texted Loki a few times, and your friends even less, leaving them all worried about you. Loki has fielded concerns and complaints from your friends, and he knows your behavior isn’t healthy, knows that it’s time to confront you.

Knocking on you door, he waits patiently, but there’s no answer. He knocks again, waits again, and finally, after ten minutes of waiting, lets himself in, picking his way through the mess on the floor to you, who is sitting in a chair in the kitchen, staring at the blank computer in front of you, not seeing a thing.

“(Y/N)? Princess? What’s going on?” He asks quietly, kneeling down beside you, and it takes you a few moments to acknowledge him, turning your head towards him, your red-rimmed eyes meeting his.

“I… I just had a bad day, that’s all.” Your voice is hoarse, cried-out and rusty from days of non-use. Loki, frowning, takes your hands in his firmly, pulling you from your seat and over onto the couch. You can feel the nerves and panic churn in your belly, feel your palms start to sweat; this is definitely about to be a serious talk. Dread mixes with the concoction of fear already there, and you fight down the panic attack as Loki begins to talk.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, you’ve been having a lot of really bad days lately, and… Well, I think you need to get some professional help, go see a therapist. Me and your friends, we love you and we want to help you, but…” he lifts your hands and presses a gentle kiss to them, “there’s only so much we can do, so much we can shoulder, and we’re reaching our limit. It hurts me to do this, to say this, but you need to hear it. I… I really hope it’s the wake-up call you need.”

When Loki looks up at you, tears are in your eyes, as they are in his, and he has to look away, the pain from seeing you hurting too strong for him to face. The saying goes that the truth hurts, but hurting you is the last thing he ever wanted to do. However, you’re hurting far too much, and like he had said, you need more help than he and your friends can offer. Confronting you like this was a good decision, one that will hopefully benefit everyone.

“Oh Loki, I… I’m so sorry!” You sob out the words, and it cracks Loki’s heart to hear, but he doesn’t say anything, staying quiet to let you continue. “I’ll try to better, I really will! I’ll go see a therapist, talk to someone. I’ll do whatever it takes, so long as you don’t abandon me.” The idea wracks your body with another round of shuddering sobs, and Loki pulls you to him, holding you tightly.

“I couldn’t abandon you, my love. I promise,” he murmurs as you cry, your body shaking. Absently he marks surprise that you’re still producing tears, but he banishes that thought almost immediately, rubbing slow circles across your back in an attempt to comfort you.

When your crying slows to a stop and you compose yourself, you pull away from him and grab your laptop. “Will you help me look for a good therapist?” You ask hesitantly, and he agrees without a thought, settling in for a long night of research.

~~~

The therapist you find has some unconventional ideas and ‘treatments,’ but they actually help, according to reviews, at least a little. And she has an emergency 24-hour line that you can call if things get really bad. Loki even comes with you as encouragement when you go in for a meeting, to see if she’s someone you’d want to work with in the future. You aren’t sure at first if you can regularly go, if you want to admit to yourself that you need to go, but one night it feels like rock bottom and you know it’s time to start doing something about your mental health.

Staring at the mirror, mascara streaked down your face, you sit by an inbox full of unopened emails and a phone full of unanswered texts, knowing you can’t go on like this. You feel so alone, so abandoned, so lied to. Loki said he’d never leave, never abandon you, but he’s gone, off on some Asgardian responsibility trip, and you can’t bother him, not with this, not now. Your friends? Gone, stopped talking to you what feels like a long time ago, unable to handle the dramatic failure you are becoming, so you can’t turn to any of them now. There was only so much they could do to help, that’s what Loki had said. It seems like they’ve given up on you. Scrolling through your phone, your eyes land on the emergency number for a therapist you’ve visited and talked to only once, and in a desperate attempt for some connection, some acknowledgment, you call.

The conversation is nothing short of hysteria on your part, full of pain and little hope, and it’s a complete blur in your mind, the words lost in the haze of panic and despair that had taken over before you had called.

~~~

It’s been a few weeks since you had called the therapist, Dr. Engleton, and things are looking up, thanks to weekly meetings with the doctor.  As prescribed, you take your meds and constantly stick Post-It notes everywhere in the house with messages like “It’s just one day, you can do it” and “Life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself,” sayings that are meant to encourage and strengthen, especially when you’re struggling. Your life is by no means perfect, you are by no means perfect, but life feels more manageable, and you’re slowly mending your life and relationships.

The first person you apologize to is Loki. Meeting him in a coffee shop once he’s back from Asgard, you hand over a letter you wrote, a plea for forgiveness, an admission of guilt and weakness and fear that you feel covers only a fraction of what he deserves. He forgives you immediately, saying he’s just glad you’re finally getting the help you need. The two of you return to your house, where you pull him to the couch for your own serious talk.

“Loki, I need your help. Again. I will need you to keep me accountable, keep me going to sessions and doing the work Dr. Engleton has me doing. Right now though, mostly, I need you to help me be strong enough to write these apologies, explain what happened and what is happening.” You take a deep, shaky breath, and look him in the eyes. “I need people to know that I’m struggling, that I’m thankful for all they’ve done, and that I am working on getting better.” Loki’s smile is wide and he nods enthusiastically, committing himself to you all over again.

“Of course I’ll help sweetheart. Anything you need,” he promises, and you both let out nervous chuckles when your stomach growls. “Maybe my first contribution will be pizza.” He jokes, but then pulls out his phone and places your usual order anyway, before you can really protest.  Order placed, Loki stands and presses a kiss to your forehead. “I’m going to get the food, get us some drinks, and grab some snacks for later. If you feel like it, go ahead and start writing, but if you can’t, don’t force yourself. I’ll be back soon. I love you. And maybe when I’m back, you can explain the sticky notes around the house.” He grins and points at a few of the aforementioned sticky notes, presses another kiss to your forehead, then walks out the door, leaving you to face down your fears as you pull out blank sheets of paper to start apologizing to everyone you’ve hurt.

You stare long and hard at the piece of paper in front of you, debating on what to say, then get to work, writing out your apology:

“To everyone I’ve hurt, to everyone who’s stuck beside me even when I’ve disappeared:

I’m sorry.

The good news is, I’m getting help. I’m going to therapy. I’m working towards getting better. It’s not complete, it’s not perfect, and I’ll never truly be okay, but that’s okay. I’m never going to stop getting panic attacks, or going through depressive, isolating periods, but I will know how to deal with them, how to let someone know I’m struggling, and I’m even starting medication that is supposed to help…”

The letter continues and once it’s done, you set it aside and look over at Loki, who has just walked in with the pizza. He smiles at you and you return the smile, then hold up the papers before you, indicating you started writing the letters. You glance at the sticky notes stuck around the room, knowing there are more throughout the rest of the apartment, and a fond smile flits across your face.

Things aren’t perfect, but they’re getting better, and that’s what matters.

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