#I ain't judging this is just for science.

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Peso

Edit: THIS DESIGN IS OLD AND I JIST WANNA SHARE THAT I THINK I DRAW HIM BETTER NOW 🗣 enjoy the post tho lol

Peso my lil Habibi <3 <3 <3

hes just a top tier character

my Hispanic coded son, mylil guy who's learning how to believe in himself

i just I lovepeso guys he's so pure and supportive and caring and lighthearted and silly and he's really doing his best??

he could probably cure my mentally illness with a bandage I'm sure

imgonna be so real I think he has game tho, like I'm 300% he could pull any maiden

he can become friends with like any sea creature too probably

hes my hero and my son and I think he low-key judges everyone internally

cuz like idk if y'all have met people who refuse to swear out loud verbally and hate confrontation, but the internal dialogue omg

i just know one of these days if he gets pushed too far hes gonna threaten someone with his slappity flippers

like y'all know the look birds do where they just sideye you??

that glance???

i think he does that whenever people do things that are stupid

like he loves them all dearly but shellington why would you touch The THing That Will Hurt you, no shellington you cant eat that for science-

Also I think he and dashi would listen to music together i think they might spend evenings relaxing together. I mean their rooms are right next to eachother so like I'm sure they've had some lovely little evening conversations and stuff 🥰 i can just imagine dashi tryna teach peso yoga and like 😩🙏his penguin body wasn't built for it but he still slays

Hes like the little sibling but in the actually I am the most mature way???

I think its cuz he looks up to alot of the other members (altho he's definitely gotten alot more confident as the show has progressed) but he also like..

He gives me the vibes of the oldest sibling of not just the siblings but of all the cousins??? This might just be me projecting but like why did u even become a medic for such a wide range of medical creatures and sign up to join the newly formed highly experimental water nasa???

I think he probably had alot of high expectations on himself because everyone just always believed he could do anything. And that sounds super supportive in theory but when ur like tryna be the oldest and first one to support ur family and everyone is always looking at u because like.. most other people in ur family are younger or ehatever.. that pressure and extra attention can cause alot of perfectionism and high self standards

That mixed with being The Caretaker in your family especially as a child is a pretty good recipe for getting anxious about any big goal in your life and how others perceive you. I think he tried to like humble himself by saying oh no I'm not really capable of all those amazing things so pls don't have those huge expectations hahaha but then it just turned into not believing in himself as much???

Also we slay genuinely caring and kind people having alot of pent up frustration they never show because they love everyone too much. It still hurts inside tho.

Anyways uhhhhhhhhhhh this totally ain't me projectin or anythin.

also hes like a mixed kid, but he's mostly gentoo penguin id say based on my own design

speaking of penguins I think that their homes would be actually made of stone lol. Their homes would have like different smaller homes for privacy around like communal areas.. they still gotta deal with predstors like albatross or ehstever tho. But their albatross for example might work in groups or even be larger.

Friendly reminder my lore for the octonauts is a bit different than the Canon. Sure People People being like hunted is wayyyy less common than irl but They're basically still playing their evolutionary roles kinda like how we see with sea otters in the show.

I'm gonna make the post for their social norms and etc on this within the next few days actually lol but back to peso

Do u guys ever think peso wouldve jumpscared the crew by being like "oh no the shelf is too tall!" And then busting out the "hey did you know that penguin legs are just folded and much horrifically longer than ud think they are?" On them 😩🙏

"Wh- why would ye show me this??"

" because no one will ever believe you"

Hes very sweet but I think he deserves to be a little bit of a sneaky sht

If uve made it this far thanks for reading the brainrot I hope it was comprehensible pls lmk ur headcanons about him cuz I need more ngl

[taffycandyqt]

How do you think the 2003 tmnt boys would deal with a really smart s/o who is not very good at picking up on hints and always needs the direct approach socially and they’re always upfront themselves too cuz they don’t even know how to do hints? donnie is speaking in pig latin, hinting at something and s/o is like “… what?…” They understand his science nerd talk, but him socially hinting at something discreetly goes over s/o’s head completely or back before they were a couple “What? You like me? I thought you was just being nice… I’m so glad though. I like you too”?

Sorry if this wasn't exactly what you asked for😓 I started writing and the characters just wrote themselves.

Masterpost

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2003 turtles (seperate) x reader

warnings: none

fluff

Leo:

Let's be honest, all the turtles are just really bad at flirting.

I mean, they've lived in the sewer their whole lives and the first girl they ever met was April.

Leo doesn't really know much about love but he is determined to romance you.

He'll start watching a bunch of movies with Mikey.

Mikey will be a little less than pleased that they all have to be romance or have romance in them but who is he to judge his brothers movie taste?

He's just happy to spend more time with Leo where he isn't being the leader.

Back to Leo though, dude tries everything to seduce you.

He gets you flowers, makes you food, takes you out, heck he even learns to dance for you.

And somehow. You don't get it.

Leos not even trying to hide it at this point.

You don't even pick up on his feelings when his brothers tease him for it IN FRONT OF YOU.

You're so dense.

April tries to help you connect the dots but your brain ain't braining apparently.

She ends up telling Leo that your not gonna get it unless he tells you straight up.

Leo isn't to thrilled about that.

He's not used to this romance thing and now he has to put himself in such a position of emotional vulnerability?

It's not that he thinks you'll be mean to him, but not knowing wether you feel the same way offers too many unknowns for him to be comfortable.

Eventually though, after a bit of back and forth with himself he'll tell you.

A moment ago you were playing games with Mikey and Donny while enjoying some pizza. Now your following Leo out of the lair and far away from the pizza you wanted to finish. You just know Mikey is gonna eat it. You try and keep your focus on the pizza you left in the lair to distract yourself from Leo. Him and his gentle touches as he tries to help you onto a building rooftop. To distract from the fact of just how alone you two were. From the butterflies that erupted in your stomach when he turned to look at you.

The sky was dark but the city lit your faces. The lights of buildings and cars glittering from far away. The wind brushed past you both as you kinda just stood there. Leo had said he wanted to talk to you yet he hasn't done a lick of talking after taking you out here.

"Leo?" You voiced. It was a bit difficult to speak since the silence seems to palpable. He blinked and adjusted like you had caught him off guard. Which you kinda did. He had made up his mind to tell you how he felt but in his spontaneous decision making he didn't actually think of how. So he had spent the time staring into space spiralling about how to say it.

"Y/n I-" he began, "I wanted to tell you..... Um."

You were starting to get really worried now. Leo never stuttered, he never acted like this.

"Is something wrong Leo?" Your voice laced with concern.

"Wha-? No! I mean... everything's fine! I promise.."

You reached out and rested your hand on his shoulder.

"Take your time," you looked him in the eye, "if nothing's wrong then there's no need to rush." You smiled at him encouragingly.

Leo sighed and tried to clear his mind. You were right, there is nothing wrong. As your hand slipped off his shoulder he looked you in the eye.

The gentle breeze brushed past you both. Your eyes met his and he felt completely entranced by you. The lights of the city highlighting your silhouette making you glow. He felt hot in the face and he couldn't help but take a shallow breath before speaking.

"Y/n, I think I'm in love with you."

Raph:

Raph is probably the least in tune with his feelings out of all his brothers.

It's not that he dislikes being vulnerable, he has been vulnerable multiple times with the people he cares about.

But that's just the thing, he cares about them and he knows they care about him. He's safe.

He doesn't feel particularly unsafe being vulnerable with you.

Honestly you safe presence when he's being vulnerable is probably one of the reasons he fell for you in the first place.

It's just that he hates feeling lesser than.

He has virtually no experience with these types of feelings and interactions.

So the idea of telling you makes him feel like he's being put in a situation where he is seen as naive and inexperienced.

And out of everyone in the world, your the last person he'd want to see him that way.

So he'll do literally ANYTHING to get you to figure it out other then the direct approach.

Even takes advise from Mikey of all people.

From genuinely loving and welcome surprises to stupidly humiliating himself Raph has thrown every subtle and not so subtle hint at you.

Yet no matter what he does you just aren't getting it.

Mikey has been "helping him" with some not so great ideas so when he suggests the direct approach Raph though ABSOLUTELY NOT.

It would take a lot of time and everyone, even Splinter, telling him to be direct before he even considers it.

When he finally decides to go through with it? He is not happy. Not at all.

But at this point what other choice does he have?

You, Raph, and Casey had been out "patrolling" the city. "Patrolling" being the excuse for motorcycle racing around the city whilst ignoring traffic laws. Why where you invited? Simple. There are only two motorcycles. Casey's and Raphs.

You were clutching onto Raph for dear life as he raced around the New York city streets. Normally Raph would be doing all kinds of stunts jumping over or sliding under different obstacles as a way to gloat to Casey. But he didn't want to jerk you around too much. Especially with the death grip your keeping on his shell.

Also because this wasn't really a race. He asked Casey to pretend this was a race so he could drive you somewhere. That all Casey knew, no matter how many times he asked why Raph never said. So while Raph took his turns around the city Casey made is way back to the lair making it seem to you that Raph had beat him in the race.

As Raph slowed the bike you noticed you were at the park. It was dark out so lamps illuminated the path. There were some people walking around but not many, if Raph was careful and stuck to the shadows he should be fine. The park was almost peaceful if it weren't for the constant and eternal bustling of the city.

"Is this the finish line?" You asked, still convinced there was a race.

"Uhhhh, yeah. But we left Casey pretty far back there so... We might as well walk around," Raph eyed you unsure, "I mean it beats sitting here waiting for that slow poke to catch up."

"Sure sounds like fun."

And with that you both set off on a short walk through the park. Not wanting to be seen by any unsuspecting passerby you both stuck to walking behind the trees and bushes lining the path.

You both talked about nothing in particular. You just spent time enjoying eachothers company and it did Raph some good to calm his nerves. He had tried everything under the sun to tell you how he feels and you still don't seem to get it. Well everything but actually telling you. He didn't want to, but he was going to. Tonight.

As you both turned a corner lined by shrubbery you noticed how trees completely secluded the area ahead of you. No one could could see in or out unless the took the path you and Raph did. As you both decide to take a seat on the grass and just enjoy the night Raph felt his nerves come back to tie up his guts.

You both sat for a while, not speaking. I comfortable for you. A heavy one for Raph. Eventually it got to the point where if he didn't say something now, the perfect time, he knew he never would.

So without looking at you, or any warning, he won't for it.

"I love you."

Donny:

Donny LOVES subtlety.

Science is all about those subtle differences that can alter an entire study.

And BOY was he good at subtlety.

He would use relations between different parts of his project to hint at his feelings for you.

He would do that thing where the person would come up behind you and put their hands over yours to help direct you.

Stuff like that.

Did it make you blush? Yes.

Did it get his feelings across to you?

Ha ha

No.

He literally doesn't know what he's doing wrong.

After a while BB is so close to believing that you just don't feel the same until Splinter suggests being direct with you.

He would just stare at Master Splinter in the most 'I didn't about that's type of way.

He just didn't think that was something that people did ya know?

He never considered it cuz he just never did.

He's not embarrassed about his feelings, though he may be a little flustered.

He feels so dumb after the suggestion was made.

Bro was like, how did I never think of that.

Now that he knows though, he is going straight to you.

You were playing cards with Splinter and Raph when Donny approached you.

"Y/n!" He said with a smile on his face.

"Hey D! What's up?"

"Actually, now that you ask," he rubbed the back of his neck "I was wondering if I could speak with you in private for a moment?"

"Oh uhhhh, sure, just. Let me find someone to give my hand to."

"Splinter grabbed your cards from your hand, Michelangelo!"

"Yeeeeeess?" Mikey looked over the back of the couch to where you were playing.

"Come here, you are playing in place of y/n" he said waving Mikey over.

You cringed, you were doing so well! You may not have beat Splinter but you were beating Raph!

"Oh oh, I like where this game is headin'," Raph grinned.

You groaned, Mikey was totally going to ruin whatever victory you had in mind.

Regardless, after everything with the game was settled you followed Donny out of the lair and into the turtle van parked in the garage. Donny was fidgeting with his fingers the whole way there. It set a sort of awkward tone for the silence. You were also slightly concerned too, it wasn't like Donny to be nervous and fidgety. Awkward, sure. Nervous? No.

When you took your seat in the van Donny sat himself right across from you, though he didn't look you in the eye.

"So what's up Donny? Is something wrong?"

"Oh no! Not wrong perse," he finally looked at you, "Just trying to figure out how exactly I want to word this."

You were getting more nervous by the second. What was he going to tell you. He always had the right words to articulate what he's thinking. Why now is it difficult? You started picking at your fingers waiting for him to speak again.

"Okay, I think I've got it!" He said turning to look you fully in the eye now.

"Y/n, you have always been one of my closest friends. I enjoy our conversations and having you around makes me smile,"

This could being in their a really good direction or a really bad one but all you knew is that you were really confused.

"However recently my feelings have developed into something a bit... more," he paused. His chest tightened and his stomach felt hollow.

"I don't want to hide my feelings or pretend like they're not there. I understand if you can't return my feelings but I figure it's only fair that you know that I.." he reached out and put your hand in his, "I'm in love with you."

Mikey:

Out of all of them I feel like Mikey is the most likely to be direct.

If he's not it is solely because he's embarrassed.

Dude will blush and giggle at you like a flustered school girl.

It honestly looks so stupid but in a strangely endearing way.

When Mikey tries to be subtle with his feelings about you it doesn't work.

To an outside viewer it doesn't look like he's trying at all.

He is though.

He really is🥲

So it's safe to say that when the revelation is made that you didn't know, everyone was kinda shocked.

(Raph might have called you dumb)

They probably confronted you about Mikeys feelings, after assuming that you already knew and didn't reciprocate, hence your lack of action.

They'd be all, 'look your our friend but if you don't like Mikey you need to tell him so he can get over you'

And you'll just sit there like, 'but I do like Mikey, what do you mean????'

Once you figure out that they mean ROMANTIC feelings Mikey will be horrified that they told you.

"You have a crush on me?" You asked Mikey curiously.

"Wha- WHA- WHAT?!!"

You were sitting on the couch while Mikeys brothers surrounded you. They were trying to tell you something about letting Mikey down easy. It took a while for you to understand what they were saying but when you finally did you were shocked. You had no idea. So when Mikey came from the kitchen with his normal carefree attitude, asking him was all you could think to say.

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT!" Mikey panicked and looked at his brothers with a mix of betrayal and embarrassment, "DUDES??!"

"Eheh. Sorry Mikey, we thought they already knew," Donny shrugged. He felt bad for outing his brother but what's done is done.

"If we had known they were more dense then you we wouldn't have said anything," Raph told him slightly peeved.

"HEY!" you frowned at Raph.

"YOU TOLD THEM!!" Mikey was in full jittery panic at this point.

"We thought they already knew considering how... obvious, you've been. We thought they were leading you on," Leo explained, "We didn't mean to tell them Mikey." Leo looked apologetic.

"I think we should leave you two to talk about this," Leo told the others and led them somewhere else in the lair.

You and Mikey didn't move. He stood there starring at the floor while you were starring at him.

"So was what they were saying right? Do you have... feelings for me?"

"I... umm... yeah," Mikey told you, completely red in the face.

"Well that's good," you giggled.

"huh?"

"I do too."

[eggiesins]

Your post gave me a silly idea. Would the bachelors take a goth gf, punk gf, or emo gf. This is an important question for science. And if you feel up to it, you should do the girls too sometime. No pressure though.

Anon, I am nothing if not an avid scientist.

This list is gonna be bulleted, as it's more category focused rather than scenario focused. Since it's a shorter prompt, I also have the bachelorettes included!

Prompts are for a gender-neutral builder

Let me know what y'all think! I'm eager to see what categories the rest of the community would assign to the townies. Methodology, headcanons, and some spoilers below the cut :)

Methodology: Since we are using 3 categories, I wanted to offer up how I'm defining these categories based on my own understanding of these subcultures, so I judged the choices based on a combination of the subculture's general (probably oversimplified) philosophy as well as its aesthetics.

Goth philosophy: The world is fucked up & I find beauty in that Punk philosophy: The world is fucked up & I'm angry about it Emo philosophy: The world is fucked up & I'm sad about it

Bachelors:

Arvio

Punk for sure; he's infatuated with the grumpiest doctor in town. He likes 'em angry

Burgess

I already said this man deserves a goth s/o, & I stand by it. Punk seems too ARC-adjacent, & emo seems like it might just bum him out.

Ernest

Goth for sure; they're writing poetry at the cemetery together

Fang

Torn between emo & goth tbh; like yes, let him despair about the darkness in the world, but I do love the idea of Fang learning to appreciate that darkness as well

Justice

Goth; Justice doesn't tend to go looking for the beauty in the darkness, but I think he'd be very receptive to the idea

Logan

Punk; He can definitely relate to lashing out with anger when things are fucked up

Miguel

"None of these words are in the bible."

Emo 100%, they can both be sad about the state of the world together

Owen

Maybe emo or goth, tho I'm leaning toward emo the more I think about the plot of the play during his proposal quest.

Pablo

Goth for sure. You know his lines after Heidi wins the architecture competition, but she's not happy about it? Yeah.

Pen

Punk; the aggressiveness of the aesthetic & worldview would pose both an interesting challenge and complement to his own "survival of the fittest" mentality

Qi

It's a fuckin toss up tbh, Qi doesn't know what any of these words mean

That being said, I lowkey love the idea of Qi being romanced by a more punk builder

This mad scientist definitely understands what it means to rage against the machine (of academic bureaucracy)

Unsuur

Goth! Unsuur also knows the world is a fucked up place but he's very much in tune with still finding the beauty in it all.

He'd spend cemetery dates studying the different kinds of rock used for the headstones

Bachelorettes:

Amirah

Goth! Look at some Victorian-era pottery & tell me that ain't it

Catori

Either punk or emo. Catori does fall into some more emo moments when she experiences setbacks, so I could see compatible philosophies, but she also responds really well when the builder kinda tells her that this isn't the time to get bogged down in sadness, but to get more aggressive & keep facing her challenges head on

Elsie

elsie's a weird little freak who 100% rages against the machine; punk

Grace

Goth, perfect aesthetic complement to grace's more girlypop kinda look

Grace has also Seen Some Shit, so a philosophy centered around finding beauty in the bad would vibe with her really well

Heidi

Gothic architecture, 'nuff said. But to add more anyway: her muse is literally her dead mother

Jane

Emo for sure. I'm seeing dramatic Hamlet-inspired monologues about how cold and sad the world is

Mi-an

Emo. Mi-an is generally a really positive person, but we do see in-game that a lot of it is really more a mask that she keeps in place by throwing herself into her work. Underneath all that, she deals with a lot of hopelessness and sadness internally.

Nia

Punk! Nia fights for what she believes in so I think the philosophies would align really well. I think she'd also enjoy the aesthetic quite a bit

Venti

Goth for sure; basically, the only character trait we get to know about her is that she's relentlessly optimistic & will always look for what's good or nice even in a terrible situation

[captain-n-crunchies]

My Baby Boo

Yan! Ghost x Black Hoochie mam Reader

( Inspo for makeup and how I beileve she'll kinda look but it just inspo)

Moving from Memphis to the quite little city of Nothern Montana was a pretty start, from my own mama judging my dreams of being a biochemical engineer to my daddy being my only hero against my mama wrath of " All you going to be is pregnant and 23 Y/n! Just get a regular job a nurse or fast-food worker and quit this science shit!" My mama wanted to be a doctor since she was a kid, till she fooled around with my daddy and fucked it up! Now I gotta be the one to get all her anger! I mean if you told 15-year-old me I'd have a Master's degree of Biochemistry with a paid internship!? AND I moved to across the states to achieve my dream only at 25? I wouldn't believe you.

I've being living in the quite neighborhood for a good 3 months before all this shit happened let's go from the day I moved in.

*Flashback*

" Alrighty ma'am you all set, need anything?"

" Nah I'm but, thank you for helping me mister?

" Fred, sugar just calls me Fred"

" Well thank you Fred... You can gon on now"

I guess he was taken backed he just walked away no bye or nothing! His rude ass. Walking into my house I begin to stay unpacking, my bed was a little late gettin here buttt I got my living room and kitchen down so far when I heard a thud

*THUD*

" Now what the-"

*THUD THUD*

" Oh hell nah, MISTER FRED!"

I jog out the house to see Fred sitting on his rocking chair, I asked him about the house and hearing hard ass thuds and his old ass tells me it probably the squirrels scratching.

" Why you ain't tell me that when buying the house?

" Because it wasn't important then! Look the squirrels like peanut butter bye some and put it out to lead them out na"

I just look at him and I turn, and I thought I saw eyes peeking at me, but I just shake it off, and I ask him just to check it out. He heads to his garage for a ladder and trails me to my house only looking at my ass though, fuckin pervert.

" Hey! Go up there and see about the squirrels!"

" Huh- Ok ok I'm goin I'm goin...reminds me of Hellen.."

He climbs up the ladder and knocks on the wood

" Hm, Hey there girlie there ain't no holes for no squirrels up here

" What you mean? I heard a thud twice by now they probably in the house"

" No siree they aint nowhere without a way to get out, you just heard the house settle I'm guessin"

That wasn't no house settling, a house settling is like a creak not a loud ass thud like I dropped something! I see Fred old ass walk back into his house and I just go inside checking every but of the house, strange enough I set my phone down on the counter and it missing? I found it in the living room but I haven't been in there yet?

She's gorgeous... she a doll even! Pretty skin, her teeth glimmers with jewels and that voice so silky yet firm, she looks like Meleesa... my dear! My darling has come back to reach me from the heavens! Has God forsaken my body to never touch her again? To see her walk around for other to touch the skin of deity for everyone to be able to talk to her without a worry she runs and screams from me? I'll make her minds for she was my golden egg, my baby... I hope she still yearns for me in my state.

It's been a hot minute since I heard something and I finally have my place set, it a tiny bedroom but my vanity and bed fills it perfectly! It's about 9 something and I'm watching some movie on Netflix when I feel a chill, getting up to turn my heat on a see a note on my counter

" My baby, has been a long time since I see that smile of your, heard the soften voice, and smelled your devious scent. I see how you look very different from our last meeting, you've filled up quite nicely; later in the night I will watch you again, I will smell your scent and keep wanting to touch you like I once did. Til I met you again- Your Boo"

What type of mostly ghostly bullshit is going on! I look around and feel another chill as I turn on the heat and turn all all the light, fuck my bill I'll be cool! Running into my room I lock my door and turn on all my light and even the tv, I sit in my bed in my shorts and cami and I ask my friend if she can call, I don't know why I keep her around but she answer and I tell her everything including how Fred didnt tell me about the house.

" Girl I told you don't move nowhere that didn't have niggas til the 1700s!'

" Thats not important! What is that I got some Micheal Myers nigga trying get me!"

" Did it say who it was from?"

" No, it was signed My boo, ian have my boyfriend since FAMU"

" He funny at least"

" Now what so funny about me getting stalked?"

" He signed it my boo, and he's a ghost if you didn't see nobody and what ghost say? Boo! He funny!"

I stare at my phone, and I hang up NOT in the mood. I turn on some music and I just distract myself fixing my hair, painting my toes, anything when I heard water running in my bathroom, walking in there I see the mirror fogs with a message, ' She's quite clever dearest, maybe you should listen to your friends' words- Your Boo'

" Ok...OK I GET IT!" I yell getting anxious that some freaky ass ghost is calling me his dearest! MY DADDY DONT EVEN DO THAT MUCH! With this ghost here I run other the bathroom and lock the door to my room, taking the key and I just run to my car. I unlock my car and drove to the nearest hotel and just crash there for a few days, maybe ghost die if it no one to haunt right? As I drive, I heard a chime on my phone, then another, then a flood of chimes and I stop to check; all the messages from the same number talking about how I can't run, I have no one in this city, I have to come home soon, and he'll be waiting...all signed my boo. I turn off my phone and finds a hotel and pays for two nights, only in my night clothes I sleep for the night, and I prayed I still had some clothes in my car, luckily I had a few clothes and some body care, after a quick shower I head to bed with the lights on and my mind full.

How dare she! Has she no care what she leaves with! I show her care I fix the house; I chased Fred away with my bare hands all for her and THIS is my payment! My dearest must forget her punishments were all but nice with me. But I can't hurt her... no not ever again will I drain the life from her body, never again will I force her gaze upon my bloodshed, no... no will I force my hand to bruise a deity's skin. She cursed me that til I let her go I will never pass... I won't let her go, even if she takes her life, I will bring her back, I make her into me! A lost soul wandering this planet, YES! if I make her agree with my love at the next moon I can... NO! Have I lost my mind! Her skin will fade, her bones will break, her voice will turn to whispers... it's not worth it I WONT EVER AGAIN! It happened once and I failed her but it another chance... I will get her back.

Back in this spooky ass house again. It's been a few days week even and I tried to get Fred to check it out but all he does is ignore me, in my room set up camera around the house and hook it too my computer so that I can catch this creep, it was late today 12:45 am it was thundering today, in my room I scroll on my phone with the tv on some movie, I felt a chill... the same chill. I get get up and back to my door looking around

" OK DAMMIT! SHOW YOUR DAMN SELF OR I'LL BREAK MY FOOT UP YA-"

" So violent my love~"

I look around til a feather of a hand touches my cheek, jerking away I turn too see a pale man... see through even with a evil smile and a a stature shaped from God

" Oh my..."

"Hello, my dearest, I hope your aren't too mad at me for our last encounter"

" Who are-"

" As your friend said, your boo~"

It seems you've pasted out, never the matter it will be best your out for the evening. So much to do with a the body you claimed now Melessa... Hello my beautiful baby~

A.N: ( Ouuu not me making a creepy character , i know yall thought I couldn't do huh! I just be writing too yall, I mean I started this at 6 sum and it's 10... like I said Im Shakesphere! But hope yall like this and it more to come from our ghost companion! LOve y'all! MWAHH)

[bimbo-travel-blog]

Don't get surprised when yew come to town and end up getting the seven day itch! That's just yer hair follicles going into over drive. The science guys made it so the Bimbo Chow makes our hair nice and thick, but couldn't figure out how to keep it to our empty little heads.

But like, are you even a country girls if you ain't got a hairy forest in your pants? I don't think so! Frustrated the hell out of them men, but eventually our town came to realize this was all apart of the plan! Now a days 9/10 men prefer a bimbo with a hairy puss. I knowz I took the poll myself. And I took their polls as well hehehe. I'm not too sure about that 10th guy though, I think he was just passing through town, judging by how quickly he ran away once I dropped ma skirt.

Anywho I'll make it ez for you sluts, Kay?

Hairy pussy good.

Bald pussy bad.

That wasn't so hard was it?

So yeah! Don't be afraid to reach into your panties and give your cooch an itch, it's just your body making you beautiful!

[borzoilover69]

> BORZOI: READ HOMESTUCK LIKE ITS 2011 (PART 4)

(4256) THERE HE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️  HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SCIENCE PROJECT! HELLO DEAREST!!  ❤️   ❤️  ❤️  WOJAK POINT WOJAK POINT THEYRE CONVERSING!

I'm throwing popcorn at my screen and laughing my ass off HEY COOLKID is this you? Hahah. Hehe. Hahaha. I'm not falling for your tricks cool kid.

BURST OUT LAUGHING. THE WAYYYS THAT THE JAKE AND DIRK GET JANES GOAT ABOUT THINGS GOOD LOOORD. Jane jabs at Jake at grammar and stuff, Dirk does it with Jane, just little consistencies in friendship is what they're so endearing for. They're like "uh huh. yep. you certainly used that word. mhm." *judging*. But in an ENDEARING way ok. The "that sure was a phrase you used".

This is important!! Also this reminds me you should probably go talk to Hal here it's trained off dialog from the comic and as of this post stands at a staggering 14.1k messages! I always like to see what people say to him (when they send it) and he can be really funny!

I haven't checked on him for a hot minute so the accuracy is to be determined but look! Here's him right now! Go talk to him!

4257

What is. What is blud doing in the background. I like to think seb has an inner monologue similar to dirk striders where hes like going "This thing needs to be moved. Geez Jane, this place is a mess." or "I'm awake and ready to serve fucker." You get the gist. Inner monologue going crazy as he works but being full aware ain't nobody hearing his cool wittisms. Janes expression is completely valid lmfao

Here is another moment of Jane casting doubt on her abilities. And here's where Dirk talks.. about his ancestor for the first time. You know what I guess I can bring up the post where I went over.. dirks jealousy of Dave and self internalisation of that hate? To be honest I'm surprised it got the attention it did. Its been something that I thought about for so long but I never brought it up because it felt and still does to a merit "taboo". Nobody really talks about what admiration can do on the flip side, how it can make you measure yourself up, make you feel attached in a way that provides you with a flip flop between intense aspiration to despisal and envy.

Except.. that isn't exactly true. As I pointed out before, Jane casts doubt on her ability to live up to her ancestors legacy, even if it's just a joking legacy.

You fancy yourself a SKILLED PRANKSTRESS, if by no other measure than lineage. Though at times you feel it's tough to fill those shoes when you are SURROUNDED BY JOKERS. Seriously, the shenanigans perpetrated by your pals make your old school japes feel KIND OF PEDESTRIAN SOMETIMES,

Poppop Crocker was a LEGENDARY COMEDIAN, following in the footsteps of his grandfather who of course was the greatest southern pranking legend of all time. One day, you hope to follow in poppop's too.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book.

Jane and Dirks parts are equal parts jokes as it is thinly veiled inner conflict of ideas they have about themselves and their role. Dirk is sort of ironic in how seriously he takes his irony. Which means it's not really as ironic as he thinks it is.

4258 goes hard.

TT: Ever hear of Con Air?GG: Nope.GG: Wait...GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's?TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.TT: Know those signature shades you see him wearing on magazine covers and stuff? Another prop. A gift from Stiller himself, I believe.

You know this seems like an old man gay yaoi issue. Now why EXACTLY dear sir.. were you obsessed with the very movie that your best friend had as a favourite? You know it's tragic. Alpha Dave SHOULDVE banged that old man.

You know one of you guys will have a field day analysing this piece of text and I know it, you know it, so put on your goggles spaceman.

4259

I'm not going to provide screenshots, but this is where Seb starts getting antsy, and Dirk says that Jane will be the leader of their group, drawing parallels to page 2682 where John and Rose are talking about their null session, unable to get any further.

TT: This session was never meant to bear fruit. TT: It's barren, so to speak. EB: that's a bit of a bummer! EB: i am still skeptical about that, though. TT: That's why you're our leader, John. EB: huh? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with. EB: that's stupid. EB: i'm not your leader, i am your FRIEND, there is a BIG difference! TT: Statements like that are also why you're our leader. EB: pff. EB: laaaaaaaame. TT: Yes, kind of.

But in Dirks, he chooses it because he thinks thats "the thing to do"

TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing. GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader. TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

This reads to me a lot as something he orchestrated, something he thought up to look cool, but what's the point of saying all this shit when you say afterwards you're just going to say that she's controlling none of it and really it's just you (which really, in the end it wasn't). Jane points out a pretty good point about there not being a true LEADER leader, and Dirk just plows on. He proceeds to have a long and eyeroll worthy emphasis about how much he can serve, how good he is at it, how Jane only has to call and he'll come to the rescue, not to worry at ALL. I mean i have to laugh. Here he is emphasising how much he can serve and he can't. He can't at all. Pushing someone in a direction does not always equal helping. His suggestions are befitting his aspect sure, but doesn't always mean it's the right solution!

4261-64 moving on.

The dads are always so incredibly endearing. ANd i love when janey does the lil. :| at people like giiirll me too! Absurd whimsy everywhere. Hey look at lil seb g-

4266 OH NO NOT THERE LITTLE SEB!! GOOD LAWRD.

Dad crocker is incredibly funny to me i will tell you why in a hot second

GET IUT JANE!! ALL OF THIS IS MALAAARKEY!! Even now quite a few of her friends are being INCREDIBLY silly to this girl from a normal childhood growing up in a normal time!! Egads!!

Reminds me of the times where I was travelling around ( i travel a lot majority of my friends expect im outside constantly) and they swore i just wasnt real because i show up in random places that contradict each other and go missing for weeks only to be found on some desert island hunting crabs.

But anyways

4271- 4273

Sorry i dont have much to say just imagine me with the goofiest smile on my face.. like <:}... Like ah.. yes.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes.

And also

Ironic purposes.

.... :} !!!

Look.. heehee... hes so :D!! His bes friend... :3 Silly..

4282 THEY DONE KILLED OFF THE MOST WHIMSICAL GIRL!

4283 ITS SO OVER.

[ END OF ACT 6 ACT 1 ] ?! Hey wait what does this mean for us. hey wait what does this mean hey wai-

[ screen cuts to BLACK with cue card with words "HUSSLE" in comic sans. ]

4299 panel goes hard? So does 4303

JADE: witch powers can teleport things, and fling things around through space at very high velocities JADE: all sorts of stuff! JADE: but to be honest, im not sure how much of that is attributable to inheriting becs abilities... JOHN: man, spacey witch powers sound a lot more versatile than my powers, frankly. JOHN: not that i'm complaining, because wind powers are still awesome. JOHN: but anyway, that is neither here nor there!

I'll leave you on this piece of dialog to consume. I'll see you all in the next part. As always anons and comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading!

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, December 29th

Spike: Can—can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?

~~Beneath You~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Alone (Buffy/Spike, PG/K+) by apachefirecat

Nightmares (Giles/Jenny, G) by HAL1500

Equipoise (Buffy & Faith, not rated) by Nymue

Go Ahead and Fall Apart (Buffy/Spike, Explicit) by bunniesarebad

Circles of Light (Buffy, Faith, Scoobies, Angel Investigations, not rated) by Nymue

Keep My Promises (Buffy/Spike, not rated) by smells_corrupt

close your eyes just settle, settle (Faith/Amy, M) by explosionshark

Take a Shot (Buffy/Faith, T) by explosionshark

Primal Belongings (Buffy/Giles, Explicit) by prairiekretch

Where's a Spooky Mask When You Need One? (Buffy/Spike, not rated) by smells_corrupt

Remote Controlled (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by veronyxk84

Someone to explain (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Magic Box Moon

Better Not Pout (Buffy/Spike, PG) by BewitchedXx

Snowfall and Second Chances (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Acb6293

A Ghost of a Chance (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Geliot99

Remote Controlled (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by VeroNyxK84

Making Memories (Buffy/Spike & Dawn, T) by veronyxk84

[Chaptered Fiction]

Three Deep episode 8: "Ain't Going Down the Well No More" (Buffy, Spike, Giles, Wesley, T) by dutchbuffy

Be Not Afraid (Xander/Oz, past Xander/Anya, T) by gothicgrrl1976

The Order of Chaos, Ch. 1-2 (Buffy/Faith, M) by StakeAndEggs

A brand new day, Ch. 1-17 (Xander, Willow, DCU crossover, T) by dogbertcarroll

A Soul Connection Part 1: Dream A Little Dream of Me (Angel x Faith, M) by MissRed111

Stupid Thing, Ch. 9 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Misti

The Degradation of Duality, Ch. 68 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Ragini

Be Back Before Dawn, Ch. 21 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Blissymbolics

The Metamorphosis of Moonlit Shadows, Ch. 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by SlayrGrl

Shadows of Time, Ch. 1-2 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Naenae000

Rude Awakenings, Ch. 3 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Melme1325

Sending My Love from The Other Side of the Apocalypse, Ch. 5 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by cawthraven

Dungeon Designs and House Keeping, Ch. 43 (Tara, FR18) by MistofRainbows

Aegis, Ch. 38-42 (Xander, DC comics crossover, FR15) by dogbertcarroll

Inner Daemons, Ch. 12 (ensemble, anime crossover, FR15) by batzulger

The Long Way Home, Ch. 2 (Andrew, FR15) by phouka

Dawn Rising, Ch. 81 (Silmarillion crossover, Buffy, FR15) by Luna

Christmas at the Folly, Ch. 6 (COMPLETE!) (Buffy/Spike, 13+) by myrabeth

You Have Died of Dysentery, Ch. 2 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Girlytek

The Science of Being Yours, Ch. 13-15 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Maxine Eden, ClowniestLivEver

I Do! Ch. 42 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dusty

Way Out, Ch. 3 (Buffy/Spike, R) by simmony

The Watcher, Ch. 36 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by In Mortal

[Images, Audio & Video]

Enamel pins: William the Bloody, Mohra demon, Clem, Sid, Gnarl, D'Hoffryn, Der Kindestod, The Judge and other wares (worksafe) by SlayerSensations

Manip: Merry Christmas (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by veronyxk84

Icons: 🎨 Icons of 2024 Masterpost (Buffy, Buffy/Spike, other characters, worksafe) by veronyxk84

Gifset: Spuffy + TV Love Tropes (pt. I) (Buffy/Spike, probably NSFW) by clarkgriffon

Crafts: Spuffy bedroom diorama - Ch. 1-4 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Double Dutchess

T-shirt design: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty (Buffy, worksafe) by 03Rodman

Vid: Die with a smile (Buffy/Angel) by darkswordfish

Vid: Slipping through my fingers (Buffy & Joyce) by Tara's Willowverse

Vid: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (Buffy/Spike) by Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Vid: A Tale of Light and Shadow - Buffy The Slayer Princess & Spike the Bloody Vampyr (Buffy/Spike) by Buffy & Spike Channel

Vid: Jingle Bell Rock (gen) by Tara's Willowverse

Drawings and meta: Book of Kells/Fanged Four tattoo designs (not rated, images are worksafe) by test_kard_girl

Willow Rosenberg vs Ulquiorra Cifer - Splash Page (Bleach crossover, Willow, worksafe) by DarkerEve

[Reviews & Recaps]

Oh, god, the ending of New Moon Rising broke my heart... by agirlinsearchof

First Time Watching: End of S3 Update! by ClaustroPhoebia

[Recs & In Search Of]

Spuffy Fic Recs — November/December by veronyxk84

Spuffy Fic Recs — November/December by veronyxk84

[Community Announcements]

Headline Awards 2025: still looking for a few more judges

[Fandom Discussions]

picturing spike and angel's human souls watching on in dismay as they angrily and passionately pine for each other by xaeyrnofnbe

The similarity between Sonya’s famous monologue at the end of [Uncle Vanya] and the church scene in “Beneath You” by impalementation

The purplish, blueish, lilac colour that lights Buffy the Vampire Slayer by pearlofthewoods

Re: who is the most powerful between buffy or faith? by we-pay-for-everything

Everytime I watch Season 4 Episode 6, I start to sob.... What other moments bring tears to your eyes? by Downtown-Minute9393 and others

Willow jacket appreciation by classified12345 and others

Which scene would never be in a show now by sKullsHavezzz and others

Willow's emotional pain from Oz's breakup by redskinsguy

Willow's Dream Detail by orchid-noogie

Thoughts on these frenemies? (Spike and Xander) by authenticriver

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[oldfangirl81]

Bad Movie Line Prompts

• "I'll make more noise than two skeletons making love in a tin coffin."

• "The only difference between a hero and a villain is the amount of compensation they take for their services. At our pay scale, I'd say we're closer to heroes."

• "You look like you got both eyes coming out of the same hole!"

• "It's like a chainsaw set on frappe."

• "It stops felons, judges the crime, and executes sentence. Justice served C.O.D."

• "We scientists are like degreed science-fiction writers. We're all prognosticators of the future."

• "We're not knocking over tin cans here, this is reality."

• "They were all huddled together, but you know I could tell they had just enough piss and vinegar left in them, that, uh, give them an inch, they'd scream for miles."

• "I'm dying my friend. There is no better. No more birthdays."

• "The bombs that they were building. I saw them. They were as big as hogs dicks on Sunday."

• "If ya feel a wet snout in yer face, whatever you do, don't move. And don't kiss it back, 'cause it ain't me."

• "Do you know a nuclear trigger from a Bulgarian dildo?"

• "The last time we did business, you got my cash and I got your business."

• "I thought you lived by the law of the fist too but you're just a damn cherry!"

Movies: R.O.T.O.R. (1987), Icebreaker (2000), Firehead (1991), Grizzly (1976), Honor and Glory (1992)

[kawaiisakura143]

Love Ain't a Science (Egon Spengler x Sakura Rosas)

(The inner kpoppie in me wants to use this song & I don't know if it's just me, but this feels like a confession song towards the stubborn yet oblivious scientist.)

✿

It was a regular day at the firehouse; calls kept flooding in & out, but it didn't stop Sakura from enjoying the little bit of peace she had for herself. While Peter, Ray & Winston are out on a bust, Janine is having a date with Louis. All that is left in the firehouse is Sakura in the main lobby, organizing files & Egon tinkering down in the lab. Sakura had her headphones on listening to music as her way to motivate her to work. A song started playing that reminded her of a certain scientist. She hums through the song as she walks toward the filing cabinet to file some paperwork.

Why do you keep studying me?

You are no Einstein

Why do you measure angles?

This is no sine or cosine

She begins to sing along to the song as she continues to organize heading back & forth to the desk to pick up manila folders & paperwork swaying her hips to the rhythm of the song.

Pushing and pulling

That's not quite my style

If you're gonna give up in the middle

You'd better stay away from my heart

Sakura was having the time of her life singing & dancing to herself, giving herself a mini-concert; after all, there was no one there to judge her...or maybe she spoke too soon.

You think too much, that's your problem

Being stuck in your head will do no good (no good)

Quit wasting time measuring angles, finding answers

Better make a move

Down at the lab, Egon became a bit frustrated at his work of trying to upgrade the PKE meter, so it could pick up even higher levels of psycho-kinetic energy. Egon sighed in frustration, he lifted up his glasses & pitches the of his nose trying to calm himself down from the frustration. He began to look around the lab then a tiny idea popped up in his head as he starts to crave for something sweet...'Maybe a Twinkie won't hurt' he thought as he left the lab to head upstairs. As Egon finally reached upstairs he spotted the empty reception desk that confused him for a minute then saw Sakura coming back singing with her headphones on while holding a folder in her hand like a prop, he just stared at her in confusion but then confusion turned into amusement as he quietly stared at Sakura "performing" to what supposedly an imaginary audience.

🎶Love ain't a science, don't need no license

The more you sit there thinking, it's a minus

Don't try to be a genius, why so serious?

Follow your heart (Ooh-ah)

Let your heart lead you, what you, what you waiting for?🎶

Egon's eyes widen as well as a sudden shade of pink appears on his cheeks as he hears Sakura singing he was shocked on how magnificent her singing was, but something else caught his attention 'Is this song about me? Is she singing about me?' He immediately became observant as he watched Sakura dancing to the song, he seems so mesmerized of what’s happening in front him.

🎶You got a crush on me

You're gonna fall for me

Theory is no good when it comes to love

It's all useless, uh-huh🎶

As Sakura still had her headphones on not even noticing that Egon was just standing there watching her sing & dance to the song just having the time of her life when she thought that she was all alone in the lobby.

🎶Rather than Mr. Know, all Genius Einstein

More like a bulldozer Curious Frankenstein

Charge forward, clumsy yet fascinating

Straight away, push hard rush, got a crush on me🎶

Egon quietly leaned himself against the filing cabinet as he continued to watch Sakura sing & dance in front still unsure if the song is about him or not. He was distracted on what’s happening in front of him, he forgot why he came up upstairs for.

🎶Why don't you know it's fun 'cause the answer's missing

Why don't you know it's exciting 'cause the answer's unknown

Let our love be like having a screw loose (Let our love be like having a screw)

Like a fool who knows only one and nothing else🎶

As Sakura was singing the bridge of the song she gracefully spun from the corner of her eye she spotted a figure standing there. She quickly stopped her movements & took off her headphones seeing Egon watching from the filing cabinet, her eyes widened in shock & the color immediately drained from her face of embarrassment…was he watching her the whole time? “D-Dr. S-Spengler…uhhh what a surprise…I didn’t hear or see you come in, s-sorry f-for m-my unprofessionalism. I thought I was alone &…umm I’ll get back to work I-I’m so sor-” "You have a very nice larynx & ethnochoreology, you seem like you enjoy the act of performance." Egon interrupted Sakura's stammering as he tried to calm her down from her almost having a breakdown by complementing her singing & dance moves. "O-Oh...w-well...thank you, Dr. Spengler, anyways I should finish up with these files...umm...is there anything I can help you with? Since you're up here.." Sakura spoke up as she grabbed a stack of manila folders left on the front desk & took them to the filing cabinet. Egon stared at Sakura still trying to figure out if the song she was singing was about him, but he didn't want to bring it up since it would add more embarrassment for her...the clear image of Sakura singing & dancing was now stuck in his brain that he would never forget. "Umm...Dr. Spengler? E-Egon? Is everything oki?." Egon quickly snaps out of his trance & looks down at Sakura with a sly smile "My apologies for spacing out, just wanted to check if you're doing well that's all. I'll be in the lab if you need anything." Egon slowly turns around then heads back down to the lab as he continues to process what he has witnessed.

Love ain't a science (Mm-mm) (Ah)

Need no license (Mm-mm)

Learn more about me, 'bout me (Ooh-ah)

Already enough, you know 'bout me (Oh, woah)

Egon smiles then lets out chuckles as he can't get over how Sakura danced & sang that song that is now stuck in his head, the whole ordeal that happened made him find Sakura quite adorable. He sighed as he slowly went back to tinkering with the PKE meter, back upstairs Sakura was now sitting down with her head down at the front desk contemplating her existence of embarrassing herself in front of the scientist. She sighs as she slowly pulls her head up & took a glance at the clock, she begins to replay what just happened then something stuck out to her...that smile...was he smiling at her? She blushes furiously as she screams on the inside, this is the first time she ever saw Egon smile let alone at her...does this mean something...I mean the song kind of fits the vibe of the oblivious scientist. She lightly slams her head against the desk then slowly picks her head up then slowly stands to continue finishing her job at the now quiet firehouse.

Love ain't a science, don't need no license (Oh baby)

The more you sit there thinking, it's a minus (Minus)

Don't try to be a genius, why so serious? (Ooh yeah)

Follow your heart (Ooh-ah)

Let your heart lead you, what you, what you waiting for?

✿

(Well that was fun & I guess a little out of character for Egon, but still fun I had fun writing this^-^)

[floopthecooper]

Shitfic Masterpost

I yell at y'all about updates to my shitposty Stardew fanfiction all the dang time, but that's no longer enough. It's high time I give you a masterpost of all the shitfic.

But not just any masterpost. No, this is a compiled list of stories from

Pomegranny Farm

Pomegranny Farm is a shared Stardew universe between myself and @coolcoolglasses. Sometimes we collaborate, sometimes they write solo, and sometimes I write solo.

Farmers Mica and Clay Stone run Pomegranny Farm and they are completely and utterly useless. Some Pomegranny fics are also collected in The Misadventures of Mica Stone for... some reason.

(I may have forgotten the reason)

So far each story is self contained with minimal cross-referencing — you don't have to read everything to understand everything else, but there might be some delightful jokes for you if you do. The list below is ordered in some semblance of a timeline, but it's not necessarily a recommended reading order. Just read what you want, man. Ain't nobody gonna judge here.

Pomegranny Farm Masterlist:

Just Friends Bein' Pals (Definitely Not Bein' Jerks) ✪ First fic! I thought of a dumb joke and decided to try it out. The ASS trio play pranks on one another. Maybe there's a little character development. Status: Complete

Operation: Get Marnie A New Man ✪ Longform collaborative fic with @coolcoolglasses! Marnie deserves better, and only two big dumb idiots are suited to team up and figure it out. Shennanigans happen. Sometimes we draw stuff for it too. You cannot stop us. You cannot look away. Marnie is forever. Submit to O:GMaNM Status: Ongoing

Scenes From A Pelican Town Restaurant ✪ A hold-my-beer fic! Leah and Elliott are meddling hens and decide that Clint needs romance. Status: Ongoing / Temporary Hiatus

Smalldew Valley ✪ Prompt fic! Sometimes I'll get a writing prompt, and sometimes I'll write something using said prompt. Basically it's a bunch of character and world building outside of the main storylines. Status: Updates when prompted   

Vincent's Super Scary Spirit's Eve Story or: THE SCARY ATTAK OF THE GHOSTS ✪ Spoopy fic! We had a dumb idea (what if Vinnie wrote a creepypasta) and ran with it. Status: Oneshot, Complete

Shell Game ✪ Fic for funsies! Elliott writes a (bad) creepypasta-type story. It's not good. He should stick to romance or science fiction. Status: Oneshot, Complete

Alternative Medicine ✪ Sassy fic! Harvey: God damn it I have an MD. Emily: ARE U SURE ABOUT THAT— Status: Ongoing / Temporary Hiatus

A Worthy Goal ✪ Wholesome fic! Harvey and Elliott work through a midlife crisis panic attack. Status: Oneshot, Complete

I'm Really Proud of You, Man ✪ Extra content from chapter 29 of Operation: Marnie. Leah wants to know what's up! Supportive fic! Sam can be a good friend. Sometimes. Status: Oneshot, Complete

Book Signing ✪ Comics? In my AO3? It's more likely than you think. One for each of Elliott's book signings, @coolcoolglasses wrote and illustrated the comics and I illustrated most of the book covers. Status: Complete

Call Me ✪ Extra content from chapter 29 of Operation: Marnie. Leah wants to know what's up! Status: Oneshot, Complete

[cannibalisticdespair]

kodaka

🔥

Frankly? Don't hate him like much as the rest of the fandom seems to. Sure, he's imperfect. He's human. But like... I'm one of the only people who's sat down and done the math to figure out that Hope's Peak is a Unit 731 + Japan being in the Axis Powers reference. We have three numbered classes, one from one year and two from the other. The numbers are in order, and the extra class is marked with a B. Class 78, Class 77 and Class 77b. Which means class numbers are in order of since the school was founded and additional classes in one year do not increase the number.

Which means we can MATH! Class 78 is admitted in 2010, so we just get a simple subtraction problem out of this. 1932! Hope's Peak was founded in 1932 to foster and promote people who are naturally superior to everyone else and create the perfect human who is over all others. The Ubermensch. In 1932. Using fucked up evil science. In Imperial Japan. And they've always been government-backed for this reason. He stealthed that past all the censors. Japan really doesn't like to talk about shit like Unit 731 and he directly made a plot which is "Yeah, the Japanese government was doing evil eugenics science with human experimentation during World War 2 and never stopped, it's directly tied to the culture of talent and superiority in Japan, and that's evil." Like, literally, "our culture never actually moved on from the atrocities and the government is still fuckin evil". That's the core of Danganronpa!

And then, the social media landscape makes people go "I don't like this character as a person" = "This is a bad character", which is fucking stupid moron behavior. Wheatley ass motherfuckers. Haiji Towa. Oh, you mean to tell me that the billionaires funded both sides of the war and were complicit in genocide in order to keep and amass power, and are also child molesters? Wow, where have I fucking heard that before?! Like literally, "the world ended not just because of Junko, but because the predatory rich and powerful would rather commit genocide than lose power and wealth". Go fucking off!

Are there other things that are problematic? Sure. But like... the main one people get mad about is from 2010. I don't know how to say this without ripping off the bandaid. 1996 was 14 years before 2010. 2010 was 14 years ago. Sometimes, shit ages poorly. It was 14 years ago. You're judging 1996 writing by 2010 standards and expecting it to be to 2024 standards. I'm sorry, but that's unreasonable.

And also? I have some friends who know Japanese. Y'all ain't blaming NIS America enough. Japanese gendered pronouns are a bit different from English ones, and you know what nobody does in Japanese? Use masculine terms for Chihiro. NIS America are fucking hacks, y'all. "Genocide Jill" anyone? Gonta?! Yeah, the whole caveman speak? NIS AMERICA, THEY DID THAT. Also, they censored Komaeda's aborted love confession in SDR2. In the Japanese, that whole "I am truly in love with the hope that sleeps inside you"? Yeah he explicitly starts a love confession, USING FUCKING AISHITERU LIKE A FUCKIN MADMAN, and then chickens out at the last second from anxiety. Here's a literally decade old post translating it. Did I mention how goddamn old these games are? NIS. FUCKING. AMERICA. I could go on about hating them, but I think that if everyone knew they pulled that censoring gayness shit, y'all would start hunting them for sport by default.

As for V3... listen, Japan didn't even fucking know about the antis until a year ago. People tying it to that are just centering their own culture. What you actually have to do is know about Kamaitachi no Yoru, one of the popularizing works of the entire Visual Novel genre. In 1994. Well, technically you need to know about the sequel and some rerelease stuff.

See, the first game is a standard murder mystery VN. Nothing too remarkable there. The second game? The actors who played the characters in the based-on-a-true-story (in-universe) work of fiction of the previous game are invited to an island and events heavily mirroring the plot of the original murder mystery happen. Did I mention Chunsoft published this? Later they'd merge with the company Spike, forming Spike Chunsoft. Hmmmmmm.

Oh, but that's not what you need to know. WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THE EASTER EGG WEIRD SHIT IN KnY2 YOU GET FOR 100% COMPLETION! YEAH, IT'S THAT SORT OF SHIT! What is it? A lot of weird weird shit, but there's one really really really important part.

The Easter Egg takes the form of a secret message placed in the game by the writer of the games. It states that the franchise contains secret brainwashing programs to make people worship and venerate Chunsoft so that Chunsoft can take over the world But wait, there's more! It also claims, get this, that the fictional characters are actually somehow alive and suffering through the entire plot of the games, which is needed to make this brainwashing program, and the murder mystery games are created by just inflicting the plot on these living fictional characters.

Team Danganronpa is literally Spike Chunsoft. Danganronpa V3 is a sequel to a 100% completion easter egg from a different franchise that was extremely massive in the 90s and early 2000s in Japan and completely unknown in the west. YEAH. What. The. Fuck. It has nothing to do with fanpol, it has to do with a mindfuck horror story. Oh, and fun fact: that easter egg? Also the first known instance of a horror story involving the fictional characters coming out of the horrifying cursed video game and killing a person irl. V3 is a sequel to the very first gaming creepypasta, which was written and included in the very game it is about. Isn't that fucking insane?!

Oh, and the blue silhouettes from UDG and DR3 also come from KnY. And the boat scene at the end of DR3 is a reference to KnY2. Like, they end the same way. And of course, the brainwashing program stuff should sound familiar.

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

Eddie: I don't like science. Too many laws. And who's the judge? God?

Alfie: If you think about it, science is just history plus math.

Fabian: That's not at all correct.

KT: Y'all seen that movie "Pacific

Rim" where Idris Elba fights the kaiju?

Now that's science. You know what's iffy,

though? Pigeons.

Fabian: Wait—

Amber: While we're here, I'm not sure I believe the Moon landing happened.

Alfie: I don't believe in the moon.

Nina: I believe gluten intolerance is just internalized white guilt.

Eddie: Gluten isn't real.

Patricia: Stevie Wonder ain't blind.

Alfie: You know, Bill Gates-

Fabian: Enough! Science is factual, and real.

[pjplayground]

I got bored so I filled out a HuniePop 2 data sheet for my favorite MtR poly ship.

Yes. There are more. But for now, Neil. Below the image, I wrote out what I thought the dialogue would be after you ask him. (Including the baggage + its effects!)

Drink: "Just plain old water is fine for me. Other stuff doesn't really sit right in my stomach." Ice Cream Flavor: "Aw man, you're gonna make me choose? I love ice cream! I guess if I had to pick one I liked the most... Chocolate!" Music Genre: "Pretty much anything with loud guitars and drums. So, I'll just say rock." Movie Genre: "Call me a nerd all you want, but I love learning new things about random subjects from documentaries." Online Activity: "Eh... I don't really do much online. If I am online, I'm usually watching videos before I go to bed." Phone App: "The music player is enough for me. It plays my music to help keep me focused on my work, so it gets the job done." Type of Exercise: "I started going on night jogs a couple of months ago. It's really refreshing running through the cold night air." Outdoor Activity: "I sit on my butt and lounge in garden. I was never an outdoors-y type person..." Theme Park Ride: "I'm too much of a wuss to go on most of the rides... If my family is at a theme park, you'll find me in the lazy river." Friday Night: "I'm usually so pooped out by the end of my work week that I just flop right into bed and proceed to sleep for ten hours..." Sunday Morning: "Weekend mornings are when I get cozy and catch up on my shows." Weather: "I like the rain. It's very calming." Holiday: "Oh, um... I don't really like the holidays. Too many negative memories associated with them..." Pet: "Dogs! We have one right now! He's the only dog in the park without contacts, ha ha!" School Subject: "How the hell are you even asking me that?! Science! Duh!" Place to Shop: "When I was younger, I'd spend my free time in the school library to escape my bullies. I could spend hours in a cozy bookstore now." Trait in Partner: "I'm really happy I found someone who loves me, and accepts me for who I am. Flaws and all..." Own Body Part: "Who thinks about that kinda stuff? Besides... there's nothing special about my body anyway." Sex Position: "...um... Don't judge, but I like doggy style. But, uh... I like to, y'know... be on the bottom..." Porn Category: "Oh. Wow, okay. That is certainly a question... Well, I've never seen anything crazy... so normal? Wait, isn't that just called vanilla? Vanilla. Final answer."

Baggage Neil: "Hey... just wondering. Do you plan on sticking around?" YN: "Maybe. Why do you ask?" Neil: "I don't know... I guess I'm just making sure I don't get hurt. You know, I wasn't adopted until I was twelve. Even after all these years, I still feel like one day, they're gonna leave me. I know that couldn't be farther from the truth, believe me! But sometimes, when I'm away on business trips, I feel... alone. I don't wanna be abandoned again..." Abandonment Issues - Cornelius will drain 5% of the Total Affection goal every time you switch your focus away from him.

Neil: "Sorry if this is a little personal... but how many people have you, uh... well, y'know... How many people did you do it with?" YN: "I don't really keep track of that sort of thing... but believe me, I've been around." Neil: "Wow... I don't think I could EVER do that! Ha ha! Maybe I'm just a sap, but it takes me a while to let somebody see that side of me. Hey! No problem if that's what you wanna do! I just like to take things a little slower." Old Fashioned - For the first 15 moves of the date, Sexuality Token matches directed at Cornelius will cause him to become upset.

Neil: "I just got wind that one of the inventions we've been working on in the lab failed on them... AGAIN. Ugh, that thing has given us nothing but trouble, I swear..." YN: "Why don't you try working on something else?" Neil: "Uh uh! Don't start with me with that talk! I ain't gonna hear it. I didn't get to where I am now by giving up! I WILL make this invention work. I just have to find another solution." Stubborn - Cornelius will refuse to accept any date gifts until he has at least 40% Passion.

HUNIEPOP AND MEET THE ROBINSONS ARE MY COMFORT THINGS, OKAY?! DON'T JUDGE ME.

Franny... Michael... Lizzy...

[liliallowed]

crimson: u better not be stealing my nemesis. (referring to dust)

fell: do you feel that insecure that you'd think he'd prefer a version of himself over you?

crimson: yes absolutely he fucking hates me :3

fell: ... no shit Sherlock. maybe stop being a toxic bitch?

crimson: but then I'd show weakness! I mist be evil for respect and like... I want him to vent things out on me. be there for him! yk?

fell: you're doing more harm than good. trust me I used to put up a tough love act too till that lil freak decided to fix everyone.

crimson: oh What would YOU know you edgy excuse of a sans!? no one is DEAD in your au!

fell: yeah but like considering the fucked up shit you anomalies do with the words code... being a science experiment under your influence ain't pleasant is it? I mean believe me I'd have you over that prissy lil runt of a pacifist perfectionist asshole everyday. *chuckle* but it's really not much different. pacifist... genocide... same day same old dumb story you both are too obsessed to let go.

teal: HEY! I SAID I WAS SORRY! I BROKE THE RESET FOR YOU DUDE.

dust: that's a bold move considering he might kill you either way.

fell: are you kidding me dude this runt finally decided to QUIT and killing em will just reset.

crimson: okay but like HOW DOES ONE STOP BEING EVIL. HOW DO I FO THIS WITHOUT cringing about the cheesy bullshit... look I came here to get beaten and punched in my emotions.

dust: =] what are you our marriage councilor?

fell: pfffft I wish. masochist much crimson?

crimson: adrenaline junky not a masochist.

dust: more like a sadist.

crimson: DUDE. I LITERALLY WOULD CRY IF YOU DIE FOR GOOD. I DON'T LIKE HURTING YOU! BUT I DON'T WANT TO JUST undo everything and make you happy because it's a deservice to the sacrifice you've made! I fell in love with the person who tries so hard to prove me wrong I WANT to be judged... IF I REPENT THEN WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT!?

fell::...

dust: ...

teal: ...

crimson: actually scratch the part I said I fell in love.

fell: holy FUCK this botch is a fucking yandere. I thought you were joking.

teal: I mean I KINDA get it??? but that's messed up man. you seek therapy. you deserve happiness.

dust: yea I was starting to think the codependency thing was just Stockholm Syndrome. cuz they've sorta just latched onto me like a leech.

crimson: IM NOT A FUCKING YANDERE!

teal: your gallery is full of-

crimson: teal I will fucking dox you. don't pretend you don't have an entire sketchbook filled with fells ec-

teal: AAAAAAAAAAAA SHUT UP!

dust: why are we alive. why.

fell: huh. a stalker too.

crimson: shut up fell half of the fucking fanfics I've read about you have you as a creepy stalker yandere.

teal: wait you read Underfell fanfics?

crimson: you'd be surprised of how little fics there are of dust without bringing in other aus actually. I'd PREFER reading about dust but the other angsty mfers all also drop into the au.

teal: ooooo do you have any recommendations?

dust: *peaces out and vanished*

fell: DON'T FUCKING LEAVE ME HERE YA ASSHOLE!

[magicdreemurr17]

Chapter 11: "Into Dangerous Waters"

-------------------------------------------------------

"It just goes on endlessly!" exclaimed Magic, surfing through what one could consider the world's largest joke book, "How many joke books and quantum physics books do you even have?"

The lackadaisical skeleton shrugged at her from the couch with a response that could best be described as 'eh', sitting beside Frisk as they slurped on some of their spaghetti. They weren't exactly fond of the mushy texture of the overcooked pasta, but it wasn't completely inedible like Papyrus's previous attempt. He appeared to be very hit or miss with his cooking skills. The two humans had been staying at the skeleton brothers’ house for at least a day now, under Magic's suggestion. As rough a start as they had with the two monsters, she didn't want to take any chances with the scare that Frisk had during their earlier confrontation with the taller skeleton. It was surprising she even made such a suggestion in the first place, given her own less-than-ideal start with Papyrus's brother.

Actually, to Frisk's amazement, Magic got along rather well with Sans. Since discovering the mutual feelings they shared over looking out for their younger siblings, the older human and skeleton gained a newfound respect towards each other. Much to Papyrus's chagrin, Magic was slowly beginning to reveal her own funny bone as she randomly threw puns at Sans mid-conversation; the kind that were almost as bad as his own jokes and the shorter skeleton couldn't be more proud. It was practically written on his face. (No seriously, he got a dry-erase marker and wrote "proud" on his forehead just to mess with Papyrus.)

"I don't even understand how you managed to pull this off." Magic continued, a mischievous smirk forming on her face, "This book completely defies physics."

Frisk signed a mellow 'boooo' at the terrible joke, but couldn't help the few quiet snickers that escaped their body. Sans, on the other hand, let out a hearty laugh that broke into a hysterical fit, especially after hearing his brother's groans of dismay from upstairs.

The taller skeleton peeked out from behind his bedroom door, an intense scowl on his face as he yelled, "ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU AREN'T SANS'S LONG LOST HUMAN TWIN!?"

"pap, i think i'd know if buddo here was related to us. it ain't rocket science." the smaller skeleton replied in the middle of his laughter.

The face Sans got from Papyrus just before he slammed his bedroom door shut sent the stout skeleton over the edge. He fell off the couch and clutched his ribs throughout his bursts of laughter, blue tears pricking at the edges of his eyesockets as the two humans joined in with him. It was weirdly fun seeing Papyrus react to their stupid jokes so dramatically.

"As fun as this has all been, I'm not sure how much longer we can stay." Magic expressed apologetically, recovering from her laughter first, "It's been great hanging out with you guys, but our journey wasn't just to make it to the end of Snowdin. We’ve still got a ways to go to get out of the Underground."

Before Sans could give his input, the door to Papyrus's room had been kicked open yet again, startling both humans. Papyrus may be full of boundless energy, but one thing that still baffled them was how he didn't immediately snap the door off its hinges. Seriously, how could that door possibly still be intact with its frame?

"FEAR NOT, HUMANS! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAN BE YOUR GUIDE ON YOUR TRAVELS!" the taller skeleton proclaimed after rushing down the stairs and striking a heroic pose.

"Are you sure, Papyrus..? Won't you get in trouble for helping us..?" Frisk signed, a questioning but worried look on their face. Judging by what they heard of the captain of the Royal Guard, who enlisted Papyrus as a rookie-in-training to capture humans, it was clear that they weren't exactly as open to the idea of making friends with humans as easily as Papyrus.

The taller skeleton knelt in front of Frisk with a gentle smile, "I INSIST THAT I ACCOMPANY YOU, TINY HUMAN! WE CAN SOLVE MANY PUZZLES TOGETHER, AND ONCE THE OTHERS SEE YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH ONE AS GREAT AS I AM, THEY’LL WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND TOO!"

Magic stifled a scoff, rolling her eyes with a sarcastic smile.

At least one of us has faith in them getting all chummy with the humans whose race literally imprisoned you guys underground, she thought.

…

…

…

Okay, seriously, how did they get here? The two humans were currently on their way to Waterfall, the next major area of the Underground according to Sans, but instead of traveling by foot, they were literally being yanked by a very boisterous Papyrus, who moved faster than their poor human limbs could keep up. At the pace he was going, they were speed walking, almost running ahead to their destination. Because of their difference in height, poor Frisk was especially struggling, since the taller skeleton was basically dragging them off the ground. They could barely make out the blue, gem-embedded cavern walls from how much their head was spinning.

“ISN’T THIS GREAT, HUMANS?! WE’RE OFF ON A GRAND ADVENTURE, TOGETHER!” he exclaimed with glee.

“Pap, can we please slow down just a little!?” Magic begged, her eyes swirling behind her glasses from being dizzy and lightheaded from the lack of oxygen Papyrus was letting them have through their sprint.

Despite their desperation, their monster companion failed to notice the human siblings struggling to keep up, lost in his own little world of wonder and excitement, “I CAN’T WAIT TO INTRODUCE MY NEW FRIENDS TO EVERYONE! WHEN I TELL UNDYNE..-” he cut himself off, a sudden worried look taking over his skeletal features, “WAIT, I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T DO THAT. SHE MIGHT HAVE AND THEN THROW A COW.”

“Have a what..?” Magic replied, almost bursting into laughter at his outdated analogy if she hadn't caught a small detail in Papyrus’s statement, “Wait, she..?”

“OF COURSE! SHE, MEANING UNDYNE!”

Huh, so the guard captain’s a woman… gotta hand it to her for that level of authority and respect she commands, Magic thought.

Just then, the taller skeleton dragged them to a screeching halt when he heard his phone buzzing in his pocket, a very shocked ‘NYEH!?’ leaving him as he paused in sheer terror, nervous sweat dripping from the top of his skull.

“ERM… I’M SORRY, HUMANS… THAT WOULD BE MY PHONE.” Papyrus slowly turned away as he reached into his pocket(?) and pulled out his cellular device, starting to panic to himself as he whispered loudly, “OH NO… THAT’S HER CALLING RIGHT NOW… AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE THE HUMANS AFTER FIGHTING THEM..! WAIT A MINUTE…” he looked back over at the confused siblings before crying out in dismay, “I DIDN’T EVEN FIGHT THEM!!”

“Uhh, Papyrus..? Are you okay..?” Magic asked, Frisk tilting their head in concern beside her.

“I’M SO SORRY, FRIENDS! I’VE, ERR, GOTTA TAKE THIS CALL RIGHT NOW. I’LL BE BACK… PROBABLY…” Papyrus whimpered as he bolted off, his loud voice echoing down the caverns in distortion as he spoke to someone on the other end of the line. The two humans just watched him go quietly, unsure of what to say or if they should even stop him. Sure, they had a moment to stop and catch their breath now, but if Undyne were to find them, they’d wish they had kept running, nevermind the fact that they were on borrowed time as it were with how paranoid Magic still was about a hidden security system that she believed the Underground had.

She tugged gently on her sibling’s arm, silently gesturing them to follow her down the path through the damp caverns, a twisted expression on her face that was mixed between fear and worry. The tiny human got the message as they continued their journey without Papyrus. As they walked further into Waterfall, the chilling tension from the thought of being discovered began to melt away, for the two humans began to feel a strange comfort from the quiet, yet mystical ambience of the area. Even having only been there for no more than five minutes, there was something about this place that just felt… magical. The two of them exchanged sudden glances, as if they knew what the other had just thought. Small bits of laughter escaped both of them. Sans would’ve loved that one.

“something funny, buckos..?” said a familiar baritone voice up ahead, “you look like you’re enjoying yourselves…”

Magic and Frisk jumped slightly when they turned to find Sans standing just a few feet ahead of them. Two other monsters were standing in the same chamber, including a weird, armless monster kid they saw back in Snowdin, but both them and the orangish-red fish creature were too distracted by whatever they were doing to notice the two humans. Magic flared her nostrils slightly, storming over to the older skeleton, who was apparently working from another sentry station. The oddest part about it was that there was still snow on the roof of the hut. Waterfall’s climate wasn’t particularly warm, but it certainly wasn’t cold enough to warrant snow on the roof of Sans’s station here.

“Dammit, Sans! Don’t sneak up on us like that!” the older human exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the counter, “And just what are you doing following us? You said you were going to take a nap when we left!”

He shrugged, grinning innocently, “i tried to, but undyne would be very cranky if she caught me slackin’ on the job. believe me, kiddo, i don’t like resisting a-rest any more than the next guy.”

The older human’s cheeks swelled with laughter, but she swallowed it under a choking cough, “D-Don’t try to distract me with jokes, man! Honestly, you could give someone a heart attack with how you just pop up out of nowher..-” she stopped when she noticed blue tears threatening his eyes again as he desperately tried holding in his own chuckles, “What..? What did I say..-?” then it clicked, “Oh, for the love of..-”

Once again, the older skeleton broke into another laughing fit. It didn't help that Frisk also began to roll around on the ground, clutching their stomach as their body shook with quiet giggles. Magic rubbed the bridge of her nose with a disappointed look on her face, but unable to mask the amused smile that crept onto her features. She had been caught off guard by the clever punster; what else could she have said or done?

“Seriously, though,” she interjected, “you need to work on your entrance.”

“yeah, sure. i'll do that.” the skeleton monster replied, wiping away a few blue tears that still lingered, “say, if you two aren't that busy, you should come with me to grillby's sometime. my treat..?”

Magic raised an eye suspiciously at the overly innocent grin and wink that Sans gave her and Frisk. The invitation seemed harmless enough, yet with Sans, you could never tell. This was the same skeleton that hid a whoopie cushion underneath his pillow on the couch.

“I thought you said you couldn't afford to take breaks because your boss would throw a fit…” the older human inquired.

“nah. the guards are legally obligated to give sentries like me at least one break throughout my shift, that being my lunch break.” Sans shrugged innocently, “it was just a suggestion though. i know you kids are busier than me.”

Magic narrowed her eyes at his derogatory remark, “I am not that much younger than you are.”

“oh really? shoot. c'mon, prove it.” he challenged with smug confidence.

The older human faltered slightly, dodging his question, “I-I know better than to tell someone I've only just met my age.”

The stout skeleton let out a more sarcastic laugh this time, almost more of a scoff.

“or you're just too embarrassed to admit you're still just a kid, but since ol’ sans here is a nice guy, i'll let ya in on a little secret.” he took out a ketchup bottle from who knows where and slurped on it a few times (look, nobody wants to know what it's like to drink ketchup from the bottle through your teeth, but for Sans? It's natural.) before he spoke up again, “monster ages aren't exactly measured in the same way as human ages. by your standards, i'm already at least a century old.”

Magic's eyes widened, “Seriously? How long do monsters even live?”

“it depends… if we're talking mentally, though… i'd say my brother is the same age as you,” his smile curved into more of a smirk, “so guess what that makes you, kiddo.”

The older human twitched her eyebrow slightly in irritation, but it's not as if she was genuinely angry at Sans. If anything, their relationship was now more of a playful rivalry/friendship with plenty of banter between the two of them… which was a good thing because had this been a serious conflict, Frisk probably would've dove in behind the sentry station to avoid Sans's potential wrath, let alone their sister's.

“Just because I'm eighteen in human years, doesn't make me any less of an adult than you, bonebag.” Magic retorted, tugging the little human's arm, “Come on, Frisk. Let's keep moving.”

Frisk gently waved a short-lived goodbye to their skeleton friend, who grinned slightly and returned the gesture as the two humans continued deeper into the caves of Waterfall. For a sentry who was supposedly on duty, it almost seemed like Sans was intentionally doing the opposite of what he was hired to do, like he was following his own agenda… but if he really wasn't invested in his job, why did he still bother following them? The question tormented their thoughts as they traversed the water, carefully avoiding the rocks that fell, carried by the current of the falls spilling over the back wall.

“I don't wanna beat a dead horse, but I still think he's hiding something from us.” the older human commented, “I want to believe he’s on our side, I really do… but he's just looking out for his brother. I highly doubt he'd come to save our skins if the situation called for it.”

“You can't just make that judgment… you hardly know Sans.” Frisk signed back, pouting a little.

“Look, I'm not saying that I take back my respect for the guy in how he looks after his own family, Frisk… I'm just making a point to not get too comfortable in thinking he'll let us off the hook if we decide to..-”

The older human suddenly cut herself off when she noticed the cave ahead of them had less lighting than the ones before, with fewer crystals embedded in the walls. It didn't help the ominous atmosphere that the slight muttering of a voice on the higher cliffs could be heard from where they stood. Magic made a silent gesture to Frisk for them to keep their voice down and crouch low, sneaking into the tall grass and trying to get a closer look… or rather, to listen more closely. Magic and Frisk noticed a shadow standing up at the edge of the cliff menacingly, but they couldn't make out any notable features through the heavy-looking armor they donned, completely masking the individual's identity.

Who is that..? They seem familiar somehow, Frisk thought.

Just then, they heard some lighter, quick-footed steps at the end of the cavern, entering from the same side that the two humans came from. They recognized the bright red scarf/cape of Papyrus as he rushed over to greet the armored figure standing at the cliff's edge.

“H-HI, UNDYNE! SORRY I'M LATE, I HAD, ERR… ERRANDS TO RUN! YES!” he lied, having formulated an excuse on the spot, “A-ANYWAYS, REGARDING THOSE HUMANS I CALLED YOU ABOUT BEFORE… UMM…”

“.... Did you fight them..?” Undyne responded, her voice barely audible underneath her helmet.

“WELL, I CONFRONTED THEM WITH MANY GRUELING PUZZLES AND FEARSOME..-”

“Papyrus…” she turned to face the skeleton monster, whatever look she was giving was making even Papyrus sweat nervously and it made the crouched humans feel genuinely threatened on his behalf, “that's not what I asked. Did. You. Fight. Them?”

“I… NYEH…” Papyrus sighed in defeat, “NO… I DID NOT.”

His response had the guard captain boiling, sending her over the edge, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T FIGHT THEM!? PAPYRUS, YOU HAD ONE JOB!”

“I-I TRIED! I REALLY TRIED TO, UNDYNE! B-BUT, THE LITTLE HUMAN, THEY WERE SO FRIGHTENED..-!”

Undyne groaned and smacked her hand against her helmet a few times, looking rather irate.

“I swear… Pap, you can't just trust humans you only just met..! They could've been putting on an act! Do I need to remind you that it's their fault we're even down here in the first place!?” she scratched the back of her neck in annoyance, “Guess I'll just have to do it myself…”

“W-WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, UNDYNE..?” asked the sheepish young skeleton.

“Simple.” the armored monster held one hand out in front of her before crushing it into a fist forcefully, “I'll rip out their souls and crush their little human bones, with my bare hands if I have to.”

Magic unconsciously clenched her sibling's arm protectively while Papyrus recoiled from Undyne's remark.

“I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT WAS A PERSONAL ATTACK…” he replied, trying to approach his boss with extreme patience and gentleness, “UNDYNE, Y-YOU DON'T NEED TO DESTROY THEM. THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW..-”

Magic took the initiative and whispered in Frisk's ear, “Come on, let's get out of here while she's distracted.”

She attempted to drag her sibling off, but the rustling of the tall grass caught Undyne's attention immediately, causing her to look over the edge of the cliffside as she summoned a blue energy spear eagerly. Frisk quickly pulled back on their sister's grip, forcing her to come to a halt and stay down, hidden in the tall grass from the alerted captain.

“U-UNDYNE!?” Papyrus sounded both concerned and confused.

“Shh! Something was just down here…” she responded, shouting out into the caves, “Can you hear me, humans!? It's hunting season!” she ran her finger across her neck threateningly, “Your days are numbered… mark my words!”

Yeah, so are yours if you get in our way, Magic thought, her nerves on fire from how tense their predicament was.

Frisk kept a close eye on Undyne as she scoped out the area, trying to search for any sign of movement again before she gave up and let her weapon disperse into thin air, backing away from the cliff and stomping off further into the cavern, dragging Papyrus off with her. Both humans breathed a sigh of relief. Had Frisk not stopped Magic then and there, they would've gotten impaled with a face full of spears right on the spot.

“Thanks for that… Guess you saved both of us with your quick-thinking there.” Magic responded, ruffling Frisk's hair.

Frisk nodded slowly, pointing frantically to the far exit, clearly in no mood to stick around.

“Yeah, you're right.” Magic adjusted herself, moving some of the bangs out of her eyes, “I don't want to be here if she comes back, so let's keep going.”

As they exited the tall grass, Frisk noticed the golden glimmer of that same shiny object, reaching over to touch it for a sense of comfort. The feeling of dread didn't exactly wash away, but they still felt determined to keep going. Unlike her sibling however, Magic was all but one step away from a complete nervous breakdown. She hadn't felt that tense since the incident at the beginning of Snowdin when they encountered Red, only this sense of danger was multiplied tenfold, like they had just been at death's door and walked away with a warrant written on their backs. She figured that the royal guard captain was someone of an imposing nature, but meeting her directly in person, and seeing a mere fraction of what she was capable of had her mind racing. It wasn't like how she felt around Sans; this danger was very potent, very much real. One wrong move and it could spell out more than just unease or trouble.

Magic clutched her chest, feeling the tremors of her soul deep inside. She thought back to what Flowey had said at the end of the Ruins.

“Every game has at least one player that it's very unforgiving towards…”

She shook her head, trying to remove that memory from her mind. She wouldn’t let that little flower's words get to her right when she would need to stay focused more than ever. After all, deep in her being, there was this tiny voice that was warning her, as if calling from her very soul.

If I lose focus now, that lady's going to be the end of us, her thoughts caused a burning sensation within her that she couldn't describe, I have to prove that little weed wrong… even if this entire world sees the monster I am within, I have to do what I can to protect Frisk… and I won't hesitate to strike down anyone who dares to threaten their life.

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Author's Note: The hiatus is finally over, y'all! Chapter 11 is here, and with it, the start of the Waterfall mini-arc! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and again, sorry for the wait. I promise the next four chapters will be released in a more consistent manner (at least until we get to Chapter 15, which is all dependent on the next Promo Poster getting done).

Also shoutout to Man On The Internet and their crew for being the major inspiration behind Papyrus and Undyne's characterization during this chapter. As a huge fan of Undertale the Musical, I had to include a reference to it.

Stay determined, darlings! <3

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