#I agree with the idea it is excellent
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SLAMMING OPEN THE DOOR. IT'S THE PUPPET'S THEME???
I was like "haha what if I drew Moon playing the Puppet's theme on his music box? I should google what the song's name is," saw the words "my grandfather's clock," and froze like, "wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait"
Hehehehe
#ask#I chose the song for the ârunning out of timeâ theme#and the sorta morbid lyrics#but knowing it was also the puppet music box theme was also a big plus#I think Twin Animatronics first suggested how cool it would be if Moon played that song in game when coming after Gregory#Think they even had a video where they edited that into game footage?#I agree with the idea it is excellent#Come to think of it the time running out and morbid themes is probably like#the entire reason it was chosen for fnaf 2 most likely#Since you're battling against time to keep a music box wound that will result in your death if the song should end
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sometimes i think about sullivan and how his n irumaâs relationship progresses and what made him choose iruma. i mean it was probably something to do with delkira that made him pick iruma up but i also think about that comment he makes early on in the series, that the others in the 3 greats have grandkids and he doesnt and how hed love to have a grandkid. and how he sends iruma to babyls partly because thats what a proper caretaker is meant to do. and how at the beginning maybe hes playacting and thinking yes this is the boy i have brought over for unspecified reasons, My Grandson, and i am the Grandfather (yay!) but its only later on that The Grandson becomes Iruma Suzuki first and then Sullivanâs Grandson second. and then i get happy about it
#i think half of this has been cooked up in my head from that one offhand comment and also some common sense (i mean he still has some#affection or makes sure to show it at least but i dont know that its genuine . at least in the beginning. wouldnt it be strange if you love#a stranger immediately?)#(but then again the idea that he loves iruma immediately is also fun because i imagine itd be him projecting his affection for delkira onto#this kid and then later it becomes something realâŠ.)#but anyway the point is to say that i like that even if it wasnt real in the beginning he still tries hard to pretend and he does look out#for iruma#like. excellent behviour good sir you get an a* from me#ahh but i really really want a few chapters just to explore why the adoption happened in the first place like WHY DID HE AGREE#this is a question that bugs me forever WHAT IS IT ABOUT IRUMA#is it the same thing that makes him so charismatic ? is it why he radiates main character energy ?#i suppose weâll get it when we get more information about delkira because i highkey think they are inextricably linked somehow#but ugghhhh can that chapter come sooner please thanks#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#yellow is blathering yet again#iruma suzuki#sullivan
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Bucky being really involved with the youth at his synagogue. The kids always seem drawn to him and he finds himself roped into helping out with youth activities, but soon finds itâs something he enjoys. Teaching them to make challah the way his mother taught him. Helping the kids with their Hebrew studies. Heâs a valuable resource of Jewish history. Sometimes heâll talk to the teens about the war because theyâre older and understand, but none of them ever press him to talk about his experiences. What the kids seem to be mainly interested in is how Jewish life has changed for kids since Bucky was a kid. They want to know how their shul compares to his, what games he played, and hear the stories he can pass on about living in a Jewish immigrant community. He often finds the kids ask the questions but the grown ups in the room are listening just as intently.Â
#headcanon#mod c#thank you for submitting this!#bucky barnes#jewish bucky barnes#jewish bucky#i completely agree! i also have always headcanoned bucky as being excellent with kids#hes a big brother!!!#also love the idea of him teaching hebrew and jewish history!!#him as an elder passing down knowledge!!
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that clip of Olli and Joonas holding hands reminded me that I really want to write something about Aleksi being jealous and thereâd be drama and all that but then I remembered I suck at writing
Write it anyway!! I support you!! đ„ș
(hopefully Aleksi in that fic eventually comes to the conclusion that Olli has two hands đ„°)
#i hope this doesn't come across as 'yes i agree anon sucks at writing'#which isnât what i mean at all!#obviously idk who anon is and what the quality of their writing is#what i'm trying to say is that you don't have to excel at your hobbies#and anyway when it comes to creative hobbies the idea of what is 'good' and what 'sucks' can be very subjective#of course if writing is something you struggle with you may feel like it 'sucks'#in which case i'm also happy to just discuss your fic idea(s) ïżœïżœđ#in case you haven't noticed i love that perhaps more than i love writing đ
#the amount of overly dramatic story ideas i have thought of today alone...#anon asks#answered asks
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they should let us quantify brains in terms of horsepower btw
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Jerky coworker won't let anyone help with the TEAM gingerbread house decorating competition so I went into Turbo Crafting Decoration Mode and now I have Regretsâą... and a lot of snowflakes
#gg ramble#crochet#fibre crafts#it's the holiday season#snowflakes#crafty people of tumblr#but for real#said coworker made a big deal of 'not having a design idea'#i came up with one#they freaked saying it wouldn't work#i volunteered to make it and they begrudgingly agreed#and then half-assed apologized for the hissy fit and told me they already did it#cool excellent teamwork
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Back when I was first leaving the mattress store in 2017 I interviewed at a few places. One was Tesla, the other a jewelry store. I wasnât a fan of Musk, but I liked the idea of electric cars and Iâve always excelled at sales so I felt like it was worth considering.
I arrived and chatted with the sales manager who said everyone started on phones before they could work their way up. I was a little wary of that as Iâm not a phone person but she laughed and said, âWell, you know. Weâre still just a startup, so everyone has to put in the hours.â
I stared at her in confusion. Tesla. A startup. In 2017. What???
I laughed a little and suggested that it was past that stage of growth but she doubled down and repeated it later. I remained baffled. After the interview she offered to let me talk to an employee to see how happy she was.
I readily agreed. The manager left. I asked the employee how happy she was.
She said that sometimes pay was late, that promotions were promised that didnât manifest for months, but that overall she liked working there and cut them slack because they were still just a startup.
I stared at her. It was like listening to a cultist repeating a phrase that was in direct contradiction with reality. I wanted to ask what she thought a startup was but I just thanked her for her time.
I got offered both jobs, Tesla or jewelry. Jewelry offered four more dollars an hour. When I turned down the Tesla lady I kindly said that I didnât feel there was as much job security in a startup.
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oblivious!Nanami who cannot fathom that youâd like him back let alone want him so youâre forced to get more and more obvious with your flirting.
oblivious!Nanami who you bring a coffee one morning, his name on the paper sleeve surrounded by little hearts. he doesn't even look at the cup, just gulps down the scalding coffee and thanks you quietly.
"You're very kind. I needed the caffeine."
oblivious!Nanami who drives you home when you miss the train, but politely declines your offer to come up for tea because he knows you have an early shift the next day.
âI couldnât possibly, but thank you.â
oblivious!Nanami who is way too nice about receiving your âdrunk textsâ, telling you to forget the whole thing and that thereâs nothing to be embarrassed about.
âAh, I believe youâve texted the wrong person. Iâll delete these. Have a fun night.â
oblivious!Nanami who agrees to come over to help you paint above your kitchen cabinets because heâs your tallest friend, who blushes at your jokes about him âfalling for youâ while you hold the ladder steady but doesnât play along.
âDonât worry, I have excellent balance.â
oblivious!Nanami who tells himself that itâs perfectly normal for you to take your top off and finish painting in a sports bra, because itâs just so hot in your house.
âOf course, I donât mind. It is quite warm.â
oblivious!Nanami who goes home and touches himself to the thought of you, to the idea of how close youâd been, how little youâd been wearing.
âSheâs so beautiful, so sweet, fuck, fuckâŠâ
oblivious!Nanami who pictures your face when he comes into his fist, who cleans himself up guiltily and avoids you at work for the whole next week in self-imposed punishment.
âGood afternoon. Excuse me. Thank you.â
oblivious!Nanami who bites his tongue to keep from confessing when you ask him if he likes anyone, if he has a type.
âI, ah, Iâm single, yes. I donât exactly have a type.â
oblivious!Nanami whose heart sinks when you tell him that you have a crush on someone, who has to clench his fists in his pockets when you gush about them.
âIâm sure theyâre wonderful. Theyâre a lucky person.â
oblivious!Nanami who feels the knife twist as you assure him that they are, that theyâre handsome and kind and funny and brilliant, but way out of your league.
âIâm sure thatâs not true. Youâre all that and more.â
oblivious!Nanami who shakes his head in disbelief when you tell him that you donât think they feel the same way, because youâve dropped about a million hints and they havenât ever reciprocated.
âThat sounds frustrating. Maybe you should just tell them how you feel. At least then youâd know.â
oblivious!Nanami who thinks heâs dreaming when you lean in and press a soft, sweet kiss to his cheek, when you say that thatâs very good advice, when you take his hand.
âItâs you, Kento. Itâs always been.â
oblivious!Nanami who canât hold back from kissing you, pulling you into a breathless embrace, murmuring against your lips.
âIt canât be, so long, I never imaginedâŠâ
oblivious!Nanami who lies awake in bed beside you, his mind replaying all the signals he had missed or chosen not to believe.
oblivious!Nanami who promises to make up for lost time, and never lets you doubt his love again.
#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk x reader#nanami fluff#nanami smut#nanami x you#nanami kento smut#jjk fluff#jjk smut
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Listening to a podcast discussing conspiracy theories and deconstructing the ideas behind them and it's reminded me of the coolest practical lessons in critical thinking I ever got, both in high school, both from the same teacher. One was a month long project on who killed jfk in which we could basically present any theory as long as we cited all our reasons and it got us really excited about research and interpretation, but it was the follow up that I liked best.
Our next project she brought us into class and showed us a documentary claiming the moon landing was faked. Gave us worksheets to do that sided with that stance. And at the end of class a bunch of us were like miss wait this doesn't seem right?? and she said okay, we'll discuss that next week. The next lesson, she showed us a mythbusters episode countering all the claims of the original documentary and gave us worksheets for that, and another bunch of people went wait miss you can't teach us two opposing things, which one is right? What do we put on the exam??
So she split the class in two and told us each to present a case based on each side, and to explain why our source was or wasn't the more reliable of the two. Got us to debate each other directly and use additional sources to back us up and explain why those sources were reliable and should be believed. And because they were randomly assigned there was no guarantee you'd agree with the stance you were presenting, but you had to present it like you did. At the end of the project she asked us all which stance we found more convincing and why, and the majority of us basically said "we think that the moon landing is real because most of the arguments against it seem like someone reacted to a confusing thing without testing it, but when you test it and ask the person running the test to explain the science it makes sense once you have more information. Also, one documentary was made with the help of scientists with qualifications and experience and the other was made by people who don't have that but like to write mystery books, which looks like a less reliable way to get an answer. But we still dont understand why you showed us both if one is wrong."
And she was like excellent. You've done exactly what you should do. At high school level, we as teachers are expected to filter for the reliable sources for you, so you know to repeat that to pass an exam, but if you want to be historians on your own, I won't be your teacher any more once you graduate. Lots of people have opinions and theories and research about times in history, and it's your job to learn how to look at them and decide who you want to trust. This won't be on the exam, but I need you all to know it. You all did a great job following the school's instructions to repeat information you were given, but for some of you, that information wasn't on a reliable foundation. I know you all know how to pass an exam. You're smart and you've been trained to follow these instructions. What you deserve to be taught is how to use all this once you don't have to do exams any more.
And then as a reward for us doing a good job at figuring out the value of checking your sources' sources she let us watch Bush get hit in the face with a shoe before we had to go to maths. Shoutout to you Ms Hannah you were a good'un I hope you're doing well ten years on from that class
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Heroes (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: I think I used David Bowie's "Heroes" for another fic when I first started writing on this blog. Oh well. We're using it again bc it inspired this fic. This is a combo request fic: Co-teachers/Logan having a nightmare/smut. Hope you guys enjoy!
Summary: You and Logan are assigned by Charles to co-teach a class to learn how to work as a team. You expect Logan to be cold, distant, short. What you don't expect is the way you find yourself needing him, and him needing you.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT! Dry humping, Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, soft!Logan, cocky!Logan (always), softdom!Logan vibes, implied age gap (Logan is obvi older), frenemies to lovers, feelings, some violence (Logan accidentally hurts the reader while having a nightmare), reader has regenerative powers, fluff, hurt to comfort (literally), reader has family trauma, afab!/f!reader, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it!
Word Count: 5,267 kinda wanna do a part 2 this was cute
âI work better alone Charles. You know that.âÂ
You and Logan Howlett never did see eye to eye.Â
âYes, Logan. Which is why Iâm giving you this challenge.â
He was always cold.Â
âI donât think this is a good idea.â
Always distant.Â
âHence why it is an excellent idea, Logan.â
But you never thought heâd be this resistant to teaching a class with you.Â
âIâm fine with it,â you say, your eyes flitting between Logan and Charles. âIt doesnât faze me at all.â
Loganâs leather jacket crinkles and he puts his hands on his hips. He furrows his brows. âYouâre fine with this?â He asks, cocking his head to the side.Â
You shrug your shoulders. âI donât see why not.â Your eyes find Loganâs, but you canât make out the expression on his face. Canât tell if itâs dislike, pure hatred, or something else altogether.Â
âThis canât happen,â Logan insists, tearing his eyes away from yours and turning towards the Professor. His words sting and youâre not quite sure whyânot sure why you should care about this at all.Â
âIt is too late,â Charlesâs voice booms. âI have already decided. You will co-teach a history class for...â Charles trails off, choosing his words carefully. âYounger students.â
You smile, but Logan rolls his eyes, his brows still furrowed. âHow young?â You say in unison, although in starkly different tones. You whip your head to face Logan and find that his eyes are already on you. Â
âAges six to seven,â Charles explains. âThis will be a smaller class, given how rare it is for children of that age to show their abilities, and the course will be incredibly simple.â He rolls away from behind the desk and approaches you and Logan in the center of the room. âI have faith that the two of you can handle this.â
Logan exhales deeply but doesnât say a word. âWe can,â you answer, your stare breaking away from Logan and turning to the Professor instead. âI look forward to teaching the class,â you pause, âwith Logan.â
Something in Loganâs glare softens. His frown slowly disappears, melting away. His jaw relaxes, and his shoulders go slack. âFine.â Heâs curt, but something about the resolve in his voice gives you an ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe this will go well.Â
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This is, in fact, not going well at all.Â
Agreeing on the curriculum was not a problem. Logan, having experienced most of U.S. History, believes in telling history as it happened. No rose-colored glasses. No murky half-truths or prettily wrapped white lies. No weird Christopher Columbus-themed arts and crafts. Having seen multiple wars and experiencing the power of government exploitation firsthandânot surprisinglyâhas made Logan progressive.
So, you had designed an age-appropriate, honest, curriculum. You were shocked at how well you and Logan worked together. You shared quiet hours in the library, passing scribblings and notes back and forth while pouring over books. You actually felt quite confident.Â
That is, until the very first class.Â
You and Logan had only just introduced yourselvesâwritten your names on the board.Â
âWe are going to have a fun, educational year,â you finish, smiling widely. âDoes anyone have any questions?â
A young girl in the center of the room raises her hand. You nod towards her, and she smiles sheepishly. âAre you two married?â
Youâre taken back, your brows furrowing. âOh, umââ
âNo,â Logan cuts you off, his arms crossing tightly against his chest. His shortness hurts more than youâre willing to admit. âAbsolutely not.âÂ
The little girlâs eyes widen. âBut then why do you look at her like that?â
âExcuse me?â Logan asks, his voice a little too harsh. âLike what, kid?â
âLogan,â you whisper, turning to face him. âSheâs six. Let it go,â you chide. âProfessor Logan and I are friends and co-teachers. Thatâs all.â You turn back to the little girl, who nods, but she doesnât look convinced.Â
The rest of the class goes relatively well. Itâs very introductoryâteaching the children how mutant history and human history are intertwined. You and Logan are able to simplify things for the children so that they can understand. And, as the class goes on, Logan seems more comfortable with the children.Â
The period is almost over when a little boy raises his hand, and Logan calls on him. âMy older brother told me people like us are scary,â he says shyly. His eyes are sadâtoo tired for a six-year-old. âHe told me that we shouldnât exist.â
Your stomach drops, tears burning behind your sinuses. You think back to your own family, back to the trauma of being disowned for something you couldnât control. Youâre too heartbroken to tackle the question. Loganâs eyes flicker between you and the little boy.Â
âYour brother is wrong,â Logan answers, crossing the room to stand next to you. He brings a hand to your lower back. Itâs the ghost of a touch, but itâs a lifeline. âYouâre special,â Logan says, and you know heâs talking to you, too. âYou all are. Donât listen to what they say. Youâre more important than youâll ever know. More extraordinary than they can understand.â
The bell rings, and the children stand, collecting their belongings. âSee you all tomorrow,â Logan shouts over the shuffling and ruckus in the hallway. The children file out the door, jumping and cheering as if nothing happened.Â
âTheyâre so resilient,â you say, shaking your head and watching them leave. You look over to Loganâhis face close to yours, his palm still pressed against your back.Â
âSo are you,â he whispers, smiling softly, rubbing up and down your back. âYou did great.â
âYes, she did. And you did too, Logan,â Charles says, suddenly in the doorway to the classroom. âI forgot to drop off the roll call this morning,â Charles explains, holding out a sheet of paper. You cross the room to meet him, taking the sheet into your hands. âIt has the list of names of the children in your class, as well as their abilities.â Charles backs into the hallway. âExcellent work, you two. You make a better team than you realize.â
âThank you, Professor,â you say. Logan mumbles a soft Thanks, and heads towards the door once Charles is gone.Â
He scratches his head, almost nervously. âGot another class to teach,â he husks. âMeet up later to go over tomorrowâs lesson plan?âÂ
You nod your head. âSounds good.â Logan smiles and walks through the doorway and down the hall.Â
You look at the roll call, and your eyes widen. Your heart beats out of your chest. You find the name of the little girl who had asked if you and Logan were married.Â
Claire TellerâPrecognition, Clairvoyance, shows signs of potential telekinesis.
The paper falls from your hands and drifts slowly to the floor. You look down, your lips parted in shock. Did she see you and Loganâ
âYou alright, sugar?â Rogueâs voice snaps you back to reality. You look up, and sheâs standing in the door.Â
âY-yeah,â you stutter, shaking your head. âIâm fine.â
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The rest of the week goes smoothly. You and Logan meet each night to discuss the lesson plan for the following day. The classes go well. Claire always seems a bit distracted, her eyes flickering between you and Logan, but she does just fine in class.Â
In fact, youâd say this was going better than well. You and Logan, despite his hesitation in the beginning, were growing closer every day.Â
Itâs written in secret, stolen momentsâhands accidentally brushing, glances across the room. But you can feel it, the way your lives are being sewn together. You find ways to spend time alone outside of classâordering dinner and grading together, practicing in the Danger Room as partners and not opponents. You had become something of a team.  Â
Tonight, youâre alone with Logan, sitting on the floor of his room, grading the small quiz you had given the children on the branches of government. Logan had picked the background musicâ60s and 70s rock.Â
You hum along to Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra as you write â100%â at the top of a studentâs quiz.Â
âPretty voice,â Logan rasps, looking up from his last quiz. Before you can react, before you can even process what he says, heâs moving on. âYou almost done?â
âJust finished.â You write another â100%â and look up at Logan. Heâs on his side, resting his head in his hand, balancing on his elbow. He smirks and stands up, striding over to you. He reaches his hand out, and you tilt your head, confused. You take his hand all the same, and he pulls you up.Â
Loganâs hands find your waist, and he sways you from side to side. You giggle, shakily bringing your arms up and around his neck. Your heart thunders in your chest as you dance with him.Â
âDidnât take you for a dancer,â you murmur. Evil Woman fades out and Heroes by David Bowie starts up. Â
âThereâs a lot you donât know about me,â Logan husks. He pulls you in tighter, his chest pressed to yours.Â
âYeah?â You ask, letting your head rest in the crook of his neck. Your eyes flutter closed. âLike what?â
Heâs suddenly silent, and you can feel the tension thicken in the room. âWhen Charles came to us about the classâŠâ He trails off, searching for the right words to say. âI was nervous,â he admits.Â
You lift your head from his neck. âWhy?â You question, smiling softly.Â
Logan presses his forehead to yours. âBecause Iââ But then thereâs a knock at the door. âLogan?â Itâs Charles on the other side. Logan huffs, his eyes closing defeatedly as he loosens his hold on your waist and walks over to the door.Â
âThere has been an emergency,â Charles says the second the door is open. âI need you to go on a mission immediately. This is a dire situation.â
Logan looks across the room to you. âOkay,â he says, his eyes still trained on yours.Â
Charles nods and heads down the hallway. âMeet me downstairs. Hank is readying the jet now.âÂ
âI have a bad feeling about this,â you confess, fighting the tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. You canât quite place where the feeling is coming fromâwhy youâre suddenly so nervous about Logan leaving. A month ago, this sort of thing wouldâve felt routine, normal. Thereâs always a crisis somewhere.Â
Logan swallows, his Adamâs apple bobbing in his throat. âIâll come back,â he promises. âAnd we can talk then.â He strides over to you, wrapping you in his arms, and pulling you into his chest. âDonât worry. Itâll be fine.âÂ
âLogan?â Charles calls from downstairs. âWe need to leave at once!âÂ
Logan squeezes you tightly before letting go. He works his jaw, his teeth gritting as he backs out of the room and down the hallway. Your heart drops as you listen to his footsteps echoing against the stairs. By the time you muster up the courage to follow him, itâs too late. The door to the mansion slams just as you make it to the bottom of the steps.Â
You can still hear Heroes faintly playing from Loganâs room.Â
And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads) And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall) And the shame, was on the other side Oh we can beat them, forever and ever Then we could be Heroes, just for one day
You sit on the bottom step, your head falling into your hands.
âOh, sugar,â Rogue whispers as she walks into the foyer. She settles next to you. âI didnât know you and LoganâŠâ She trails off, shaking her head. âHeâll come back. He always does.â She hangs her arm around your shoulder, tugging you into her chest.Â
You hope sheâs right.Â
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The next morning, Logan is still gone. Youâre forced to teach the class alone. As youâre starting roll call, a young boy raises his hand.Â
âYes, Jimmy?â You call, arching your brows.Â
âWhereâs Professor Logan?â He asks curiously, tilting his head to the side.Â
You swallow harshly, inhaling deeply. âHe has something to take care of,â you explain. âItâll just be me teaching today. Is that alright with you?â You try to sound light, jovial, plastering a fake smile across your face. The kids buy it, giggling and nodding. Jimmy smiles widely and nods, too.
But Claireâthe little girl who can seemingly see into the future, stares at you sympathetically. It sends a chill down your spine. Itâs like she knows how youâre feelingâcan see it in her mindâs eye. You shake the feeling off, proceeding with the lesson. The material is distracting enoughâthe U.S. voting system, carefully explained so that the children can understand.Â
The rest of the class goes off without a hitch, and the bell finally rings. The session felt longer than usual without Logan, and certainly harder to get through, but not impossible. The class picks up their belongings and files out. You grab your papers, readying to leave, assuming that everyone is gone.Â
âHeâs going to come back,â a small, familiar voice whispers. You look up from your materials, and thereâs Claire, standing in front of the desk. Her deep, brown eyes twitch back and forth. She closes them tightly and smiles. âYou donât have to worry,â she assures. âHeâs safe. Heâll always come back to you.â She pauses. âAll I see is happiness.â The veins in her temples grow thicker, and you can tell sheâs working too hard to look to the future.
âClaire,â you say, your hand grabbing her shoulder. âDonât hurt yourself, my love. You donât have to do that for me. Iâm okay.â
Her eyes fly open, and she smiles widely, as if nothing happened. She steps away from the desk, your hand falling from her shoulder. âDidnât hurt at all!â She calls as she skips out the door. âSee you Monday!â
You shake your head. Resilient, you think to yourself. So goddamn resilient.Â
The rest of the evening is slow. You try to keep yourself busyâgrading papers, listening to music, going for a run, training in the Danger Room. But all you can think about is Logan.Â
After dinner, you get ready for bed, changing into a pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt. You sit alone in your room, on your bed, reminding yourself of what Claire had told you this afternoon.Â
Heâs going to come back. You donât have to worry. Heâs safe.Â
You lay back on your pillows, bringing the covers up to your chin and closing your eyes. You repeat her words over and over again in your head as you fall asleep. Heâs safe. Heâs safe. Heâs safe.Â
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You wake up a few hours later, your bedside lamp still on. Your alarm clock reads 1:45 AM. You groan, rolling over and shutting your eyes tightly, trying to force yourself back to sleep. But itâs no useâyouâre awake, thinking of Logan already.Â
You push yourself to sit up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed, and pressing your feet into the cold wood floors below. You walk to your door, twist the knob, and head out into the hallway.  A lap around the mansion might make you tiredâmight relax you.Â
You walk down the hallway slowly, noticing instantly that Loganâs door is closed. You canât help but pick up your pace, striding towards Loganâs room.Â
You stand in front of his door, your hand on the knob, ready to twist and push. You stop yourself, wondering if this is crossing a line, tearing down a carefully constructed boundary. But all you want is to see him breathing, lying on his bed. You need to know heâs in thereâsafe.Â
You knock once, but thereâs no answer. You swallow nervously, twisting the knob and pushing the door open.Â
Your heart stops. There he is. Heâs home. Heâs safe. Heâs breathing. You let out a sigh of relief, smiling softly as you start to close the door.Â
But then his head snaps to the side, and he grunts. âLogan?â You call, opening the door slightly. He doesnât answer. He grunts again. You quickly notice the way his fists white-knuckle his sheets.Â
You step inside his room, closing the door behind you. âLo,â you whisper into the darkness. He tosses and turns, his head whipping from side to side. He must be having a nightmare, You think to yourself, your heart breaking in two, watching pain wrack his body, his mind.Â
You meet his side, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him softly. âLogan,â you say, your voice louder, stronger this time. âYou need to wake up.â But he doesnât. He groans, his brows furrowed, sweat beading his forehead.Â
âCome on,â you plead, climbing into the bed, and straddling him. You hold him down by his shoulders, stopping him from writhing. Now that youâre closer, you can see the tears streaming down his cheeks, can see the agony etched into the lines of his face. âLogan!â You yell. âYou gotta wakeââ
His eyes fly open, and you feel cold metal pierce your leg. Your jaw drops as pain stings sharply in your thigh. âOh fuck,â Logan curses, sitting up and retracting his claws. Tears brim in the corners of your eyes as the pain worsens. âShit!â He cries out, grabbing at your thigh, blood spilling into his fingers.Â
You close your eyes as your powers take hold. Your skin slowly stitches up, putting yourself together again. You groan, and Logan wraps his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. âIâm so sorry,â he mumbles into the side of your head, pressing soft, gentle kisses there. âI love you, Iâm so sorry sweetheart.â
What did he just say?
âW-what?â You ask, the pain fading away as those three words echo in your mind.Â
Loganâs breathing only quickens as he realizes what he said. âA-are you okay?â He asks, ignoring your question.Â
You nod. âItâs already gone,â you whisper, nodding to your thigh. âBut what did you justââ
âI love you,â he interrupts, saying it again. You pull back a bit to look at him. You can see the seriousness in his eyes, the adoration, the honesty. âI love you.âÂ
You bite your lip, your eyes widening as you process what this means. Logan loves you. Itâs everything you ever wanted. Everything you could have asked for. It just makes sense.
âI love you too,â you confess, choking on your words. âI was so worried. I didnât know when youâd come back, or if youâd come back at all. I saw your door closed, and I just had to see you. I needed to know that you were okay, that you came home.â
He presses his forehead to yours, his eyes closing. âBefore I left,â he pauses, his Adamâs apple bobbing in his throat. âI was going to tell you why I didnât want to work together.â His eyes open again. âI was scared to get close to you,â he explains. âI knew I wanted you the second I saw you. Knew I had to have you. Iâve never felt that way before. You opened something inside me that I thought I didnât have. Turns out it was just locked, waiting around for you.â
âLogan,â you breathe, his lips just inches from yours. âI wanted you too. Wanted you this whole time.â You need him to kiss youâto take you right here and now. âI thought you didnât like me,â you admit, giggling softly.Â
He shakes his head, smirking. âI liked you too much,â he rasps. âDidnât know what to do about it. You were driving me crazy, sweetheart.â You can feel his erection straining in his boxers, and you canât help but grind down on him, your core rocking against his cock. âFuck,â he groans, gripping your hips. âSlow down, pretty girl. Are you sure youâre okay?â
You nod emphatically. âAlready healed,â you assure him. âJust need you, Lo.â
âNeed you too, sweetheart,â Logan groans, rolling your hips against his, tugging you down his length. âCan feel you soaking through those panties already,â he grunts. And heâs right. The heat pooling between your legs is uncontrollable.Â
You groan as your clit drags across his erection. âF-fuck,â you stutter, his fingers digging into your hips. You bring your hands to the waistband of his boxers, tugging at them. But before you can get anywhere, Logan is flipping you onto your back and crawling down your body.Â
âNext time, sweetheart,â he coos, hiking your shirt up and smirking when he sees you arenât wearing a bra. He palms your breasts, tweaking your nipples before sliding down further. âWanna take care of you this first time.â
Your heart flutters in your chest at his words. You can see the hunger in his eyes as he kisses down your stomach, going past the hem of your panties, stopping at your clit. He takes a deep breath. âCan smell that pretty pussy. Know she needs me, darlinâ.âÂ
He hooks his fingers into your waistband, and tugs the thin lace down your legs, revealing your aching cunt to him. He settles between your thighs, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your clit.Â
âL-Lo,â you choke. âPlease.â
He smiles against you, breathing you in again. âPlease what, princess?â He asks, looking up at you under hooded eyes. âTell me what you need.â
âYou,â you beg. âNeed you. Always gonna need you.âÂ
His smile meets his eyes as he licks a long stripe through your folds, his tongue pushing through your entrance, tasting you, savoring you. He hums against you, the vibration of his voice rocking your core. âTastes so good,â he mumbles, licking another long stripe. âPerfect pussy. Knew youâd be this sweet.â
You watch as he laps at you, drinking you in. Loganâs tongue finds your clit, drawing tight circles into the bud. âF-feels so good,â you stutter.Â
âI know, beautifulâ He soothes, his fingers trailing up your inner thigh, drawing closer to your heat. âYou look so pretty when you let me eat you out,â he praises, his fingers prodding your entrance. âYou want more?â He teases, slipping just past your slit and quickly pulling out.Â
âYes,â you whimper, pleasure coursing through your veins. âNeed your fingers, Lo. Please.â
He wastes no timeâsuddenly thrusting inside you, his long, thick fingers splitting you in two. Your walls flutter around him, sucking him in, taking him deeper. âSo tight,â he coos, pulling out and sliding back in. âSo fucking wet.â
Logan wraps his lips around your clit, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks, hard. He releases, his teeth grazing the bud lightly. Your walls clench around his fingers at the sensation. âFuck,â Logan curses, smirking against you. âYou like that?â He teases. âLike when Iâm rough with you?â His tongue flits out, lapping flat strokes across your clit.Â
You moan a soft Yes in affirmation, your back arching off the mattress. Youâre already close, ready to let go. But Logan isnât letting up, his fingers slamming into you, taking your clit back into his mouth and sucking harder, rougher this time. He swirls soothing circles into the bud, pushing you to the edge.Â
âLogan,â you whine, your hips squirming as he drags his tongue harder against your heat. âIâm so close.âÂ
Your muscles contract and release around his fingers as he hits that sweet spot inside you, pump after pump. âI know, pretty girl,â He soothes, his free hand wrapping around your hip and holding you down to the mattress. âLook at you,â he praises between harsh sucks. âSo beautiful like this.â His tongue circles your overstimulated clit. âAlready fucked out, arenât you?âÂ
âYes,â you mutter, your hips squirming helplessly against his grip. Itâs all too much, his hushed whispers, his praises, the way his tongue flits against you, his deep thrusts dragging along your walls. âLogan, Iâm gonnaâŠâÂ
âThatâs it, pretty girl,â Logan coaches, his tongue still lapping at you ravenously. Heâs starving, unwilling to stop. He needs more. âShould keep you in my bed so I can taste you whenever I want.â He grunts against you. âWant you to come on my fingers, darlinâ. Wanna taste it. Let go.â
Itâs all blazing, white-hot heat, raging through your body, searing your skin. Your eyes stay trained on Logan as he works you through your orgasmâravaging you, lapping up every last drop of your release. His fingers pump in and out, slowly, before he pulls out completely. But his face stays buried against your cunt, his tongue pushing through your folds.Â
âLogan,â you whine, lacing your fingers through his hair. âNeed you up here.âÂ
He looks up from your heat and licks one more long stripe before climbing up your body. He tugs his boxers down his legs, his eyes not leaving yours. His cock springs free, bumping against his stomach.Â
Logan settles on top of you, balancing on his forearm as his free hand wraps around the base of his cock. You instinctually spread your legs, as if itâs second nature, as if youâve been here before. âSuch a good girl,â Logan praises, sliding his tip through your folds. âAll spread open for me.â His cock nudges against your clit and slides back down. âYou need me, sweetheart?â
âYes,â you choke. âMore than you canââ
And then heâs plunging inside you, bottoming out with just one thrust. âFuck!â You cry out. He stays inside, unmoving, letting you adjust to the size of him.Â
He presses his forehead to yours. âYou okay?â He asks. His cock throbs, pushing against your walls, searching for more. His hand slips between your bodies and finds your clit.Â
âY-yes,â You stutter, sighing in relief as his fingertips draw gentle strokes into the bud. âS-so big.â
âI know,â Logan soothes, sliding out only to shove himself back in, down to the hit. Your back arches off the mattress, your chest coming flush with his. âGonna work you open.â His voice is gentle, calm. âIâve got you. Relax for me, sweetheart.âÂ
Logan pulls out and thrusts in again, his lips swallowing your moans with a kiss. His fingers swirl around your clit as pleasure pulses through your every nerve ending. âFeels so good,â you murmur as he picks up his pace, his hips rolling against yours.Â
He grunts. âSo perfect,â he praises. âFucking made for me.â He pumps in and out of you harder, faster now, letting himself go. He pinches your clit, rolling the bud under his fingertips. âNever gonna want anyone but you, you know that?â He twitches inside you, and your walls flutter around him.Â
You curse under your breath. âYes,â you cry out. âOnly gonna want you, Lo. Only you.â
âDoing so good for me,â he husks between hard thrusts. âTaking me so well.â His hips snap against yours, his fingers circling your clit rapidly, adding more pressure. His lips find yours again, biting, kissing you bruisingly, fitting against you like a puzzle piece.Â
Your chests heave together, the sound of his skin slapping against yours echoing against the walls of the room. âYouâre so perfect,â he whispers, his lips suddenly at the shell of your ear. He bites down on your pulse point, his tongue flitting out to lick the pain away. âSo fucking beautiful.âÂ
Your walls contract around him, squeezing him as he sinks deeper inside you, hitting exactly where you need him most. Youâre so close, ready to come undone. âFuck, Logan,â you whine as he pounds into you. âIâm gonnaââ
âMe too, pretty girl,â he rasps, twitching inside you. You wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close as he plunges deeper. He lifts his head from the crook of your neck and presses a chaste kiss to your lips. âDonât wanna stop. Donât wannaâŠâ He trails off, his cock throbbing inside you again. You know he canât hold back.
You tighten your legs around his waist. âDonât stop,â you beg. âStay inside.âÂ
He groans, his forehead pressing to yours. âYou want me to fill you up, sweetheart? That what youâre asking for?â
âY-yes,â you stammer, his fingers pinching your clit and stroking relentlessly. âPlease,â you choke, begging, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes.Â
âFuck,â he curses. âWanna feel you come on my cock, sweetheart. Wanna make you mine.âÂ
âAlready yours,â you whisper, your muscles contracting around his length again, your legs trembling as stars flood your vision. Logan moans your name, and you can feel him spilling inside you. You come together, your orgasm crashing into you, more intense, more powerful than the last.Â
âLove you so much,â he whispers as he finishes, painting your walls.Â
âLove you too, Lo,â you say back, your heart beating out of your chest as you come down from your high.Â
His fingers drag against your clit, swiping gently before running up your body, slipping under your back, and pulling you into his chest. His hips are still, his cock unmoving inside you. He finally pulls out, and rolls off you, taking you with him. He tugs you into his chest, holding you tightly.
âAre you okay?â He asks softly. âNeed anything?â
âJ-just you,â you stammer. His fingertips trace patterns along your back, soothing and gentle.Â
âLet me clean you up, sweetheart,â Logan whispers, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead and moving to sit up. But you stop him, wrapping your arms around his torso and holding him down. He smirks, letting you pull him back. âIâm just gonna grab a towel, yeah? Wanna take care of you. Iâll come right back.â
You nod, letting him go. He slips out of the bed, strides over to his bathroom, and grabs a towel from inside without turning a light on. Within ten seconds heâs back in bed, just like he said he would be.Â
Logan brings the towel between your legs and wipes you clean. His touch is gentle, soothing, careful not to be too rough. Once heâs done, he throws the towel to the floor and reaches over to his nightstand. When he turns back to you, he has a glass of water in his hand. He extends the glass out, bringing it to your lips. The water feels cool as it slides down your throat. You drain the glass, and Logan smiles as he pulls it from your lips.Â
He places the cup back down on the nightstand and pulls you into his arms again. You bury your head into the center of his chest, listening carefully to his heartbeat. Itâs even, steady, constant. Just like him.Â
âNever felt like this before,â he whispers into the silent darkness of the room.Â
âLike what?â You mumble, your voice muffled against his chest.Â
You can hear the smile in his voice as the words leave his lips. âHappy. Safe.â
Tearsâhappy tearsâfree themselves from your eyes, sliding down your cheeks.Â
âCanât let go of you,â he hums, pressing a kiss to your temple. âDonât wanna go back to before.â
âYou donât have to, Lo,â you pant. âIâm yours. Always.â And you know you mean it. You know itâs true. Itâs already been decided, already played out. Already etched into the future.Â
Are you two married? Claire had asked.Â
Heâll always come back to you. All I see is happiness, She had promised.
And she was right.Â
âI love you,â Logan husks.Â
âI love you, too.âÂ
tags: @afw5 @wolviesgirl @the-ruler-of-death @Ifdybadgirlsdiw @xtwistedchaosx @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesslut @galacticglitterglue @silversprings-mp3 @zxaera @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @alastorssimp @alsoprettyinpink @prettyseaveins @ilysmdovie12 @evasmlp @derbygracie @rammakela @honeyfewr @ricefordays-blog1 @manipulatour
#Logan Howlett x reader#Wolverine x reader#James Logan Howlett x reader#Logan Howlett x reader smut#Wolverine x reader smut#James Logan Howlett x reader smut#Logan Howlett smut#Wolverine smut#James Logan Howlett smut#Logan Howlett x you#Wolverine x you#James Logan Howlett x you#Logan Howlett friends to lovers#Logan Howlett x you smut#Wolverine x you smut#James Logan Howlett x you smut#Logan Howlett x reader friends to lovers#Logan Howlett imagine#Wolverine imagine#James Logan Howlett imagine#X Men imagine#Hugh Jackman#Deadpool and Wolverine#Logan Howlett fluff#Logan Howlett x reader fluff#Logan Howlett x you fluff
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I'm doing to Mike and Martin from V what the OG Star Trek girlies did to Kirk and Spock <3
#sometimes you just see a logical alien and their chaotic human and decide they should be gay#listen my guy Martin could've gotten any human job he wanted after The Final Battle and my mans chooses to be a sound operator/camera man#so he can continue working with Mike#like he wouldve been way more qualified for being a pilot or something but nope. he needs to stay with Mike#and Mike has such chaotic bisexual energy this man is at EVERY pride parade he can get to#his mom kicked him out bc he was caught with another guy in hs and outed#which gives them some EXCELLENT angst when he outs Martin as a Fifth Columnist under the truth serum#alien/human relationships are just too good just *chefs kiss*#espescially when they have no idea they like each other#or keep unintentionally doing things considered romantic in the other culture#i like to hc that Visitors kiss by bonking their foreheads together#and Mike does it at the end of the fight in TFB as a 'we won/I'm glad you're ok!' gesture#and Martin is just. having an entire crisis over it#that's what makes him fully realize that he's in love and he spends the next week asking Willie/Julie for advice#w/ Willie its mostly stuff like 'what do humans like? what does being in love with one feel like? how could you tell yours liked you back?'#and with Julie it's more like 'what does forehead touching mean? why is Mike always touching me? what are human courting rituals?'#meanwhile Mike is just trying to figure out why Martin's acting so weird around him#Julie got Willie to agree not to tell them anything and let them figure it out on their own#practically everyone in the resistance has a bet going on how long it will take#except for Ham bc theres no way that man isnt homophobic#I also choose to ignore what happens to Martin he deserves to have his brother bully the shit out of him for his choice in men#Philip probably points it out completely casually at one point bc he assumes its obvious#or uses his Twin Privileges to confess FOR Martin and then just. leaves#Mike and Martin are both very confused the next time they run into each other#either way everyone is upset bc Philip ruined the bet but at least the idiots are happy#they just have such an interesting dynamic I love them <3#plus they fought a literal war against Space Fascism they would absolutely fight for their right to love#anyways thats my mental state rn :)#hyperfixation: v#v-posting
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broke your heart, Iâll put it back together
alexia putellas x reader
word count: 9.7k
In which Alexia is an excellent footballer yet a terrible, terrible girlfriend. You still love her nonetheless.
Alexia never had much experience with the love that she saw in movies: all the hugs and the âI love youâs and the heart-to-heart conversations. Alexia thought they were too clichĂ© anyway. Especially the âI love youâs. Some people give proclamations of love too easily and not mean a single thing.Â
Her sister loved to laugh every time people misjudged Alexia to be someone emotionless and cold, when in reality she was just âan awkward introvert whoâs terrible at anything related to love and romance and all that jazz,â (Albaâs words).Â
Although Alexia would say that that was false. Just because she turned awkward whenever someone showed a bit of affection didnât mean that Alexia sucked at romance. Alexia had watched enough Nicholas Sparks movies to understand what she had to do when the time came. Flowers. Chocolates. Kissing in the rain. Simple.
(âSimple. Yup, definitely. Thatâs obviously why youâre still single at the age of thirty.â
âExcuse me! Puta.â
âShould I set you up with someone? Yeah. Iâm gonna set you up with someone.â
âAlba, fuck off.â)
So maybe Alexia was thirty and still single. So what? Alexia just never thought of relationships to be that big of a deal. And it definitely wasnât because of how she was as a person âdistant and reservedââor so how Alba described her to be. Her job was already taking too much of her time as it is.
Alexia was the best footballer in the world, and aside from trainings and matches to play, it also required back-to-back meetings and her full attention and wow, Alexia really was going to die alone as a cat lady which was so much worse because she was allergic to cats.
âYour turn, Ale.â
Alexia turned her gaze towards Mapi. It was media day at the Estadi Johan Cruyff. Alexia always had loathed doing interviews but it was part of the job. âHow was it?â
âFine as usual,â Mapi shrugged, flopping on the empty bench next to Alexia. âHave a feeling you will enjoy this one though.â
Alexia raised her eyebrows, moving to stand up. âWhy?â
Mapi had a cheeky look on her face. âThe interviewer is definitely your type.â
Alexia threw her jacket at Mapiâs face, causing the latter to laugh. âI will gladly say I told you so later! Just you wait!â
Alexia entered one of the rooms that was designated for her interview. It was going to be a fun and lighthearted video. Alexia couldnât really remember the name of the media that she was assigned to, she had a lot on her mind lately.Â
Especially since her family was throwing a get-together over the weekend and now both her mother and Alba were pestering her over bringing someone. Alba putting ideas into Eliâs head that Alexia should be seeing someone at this age and Eli quickly agreeing that she was spending too much time on footballâ
âMiss Putellas? Hi, nice to meet you.â
Alexiaâs mouth went agape.
âIâm y/n and this is my team, Robert and Camila. Thank you for having us.â
On second thought, maybe Alba was right. Maybe Alexia really was destined to be the typical career woman who focused too much on work and never had time for love, especially since she was cold and distant and was really, really downright terrible at romance, because there was no way that her heart was doing somersaults when she should be working. This was awful timing. She was so unprofessional.
Her heart was definitely not skipping a beat because of an interviewer who looked to be in her twentiesâoh god, Alexia was definitely not crushing on someone who looked like she was still in university.
But the moment you smiled, Alexia knew she was screwed
â
âFuck you, Alba.â
âWell, Alexia Putellas, just so you know I do have hundreds of girls lining up wanting to fuck me.â
Alexia groaned into her phone. âFirst of all, ew! Not funny. I hate you.â
Alba laughed. âWhat did I do this time?â
âYou planted these stupid, stupid thoughts into my head! I was thinking about being single so much that you made me have a crush on someone whoâs supposed to interview meââ
âIâm gonna stop you right there. How is this my fault?â
âI donât know!â Alexia exclaimed. âI went into the room and she was there with her stupid cute vest and little notebook in hand and her hair was brown and wavy but not too wavy, it was just perfect the way it falls perfectly down her shoulders and her stupid smile. She was smiling at me, Alba. At me. Smiling.â
âOookay,â Alba dragged out. âWhen I said you should find someone I didnât mean a sugar baby.â
âAlba!â
âWhat? An interviewer? Journalist? I doubt sheâs making a lot per yearââ
Alexia groaned even more. âPlease donât go around saying shit like this to anyone else.â
âYeah, yeah.â
âWhatever, youâre no help,â Alexia stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, making sure that she looked fine. Not that she wanted to impress youâshe just wanted to look fine to someone who was going to interview her. Yeah, that was it. âI'll talk to you later.â
âGoing back to your new lover?â
âShut up,â Alexia unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom. âI ran to the bathroom because I freaked out.â
Albaâs laugh was so loud that people in the hallways glanced at Alexia as she passed by. âReal smooth. You're totally good at romance. An expert. The real life Romeoââ
Alexia hung up and plopped her phone in the pocket of her tracksuit. She could get through this. She had played in front of thousands, she went through people criticizing her every move as if they were better than her. She wasnât nervous then, why should she be nervous now?
âSorry, where were we?â Alexia said as soon as she reentered the room. She took her seat, you on the other side of the camera, still with that damn smile on your face.
âI was just about to tell you that I have always wanted to interview you,â you replied.
âMe?â Alexia squeaked, immediately clearing her throat nervously.Â
âNo, not nervously. Alexia didnât get nervous. Fuck.
âYes. Youâre a very interesting person,â you fidgeted with the notepad and pen in your hands, your shoes tapping on the floor slightly. Alexia realized that you were nervous, and somehow the thought placed a smile on her face.
âHow long have you been working for ïżœïżœïżœDazn? You could pass as someone who hasnât graduated universityânot that Iâm saying youâre not qualified to do your job or anything, you just look really young- not that itâs a bad thing! Lo siento. Iâll just stop talking.â
Real smooth, Alexia. Real smooth.
âWell,â you chuckled. âTo answer your question, one: just for a little while and two: youâre kind of right.â You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled bashfully. âIâm twenty-five years old, still in university, but for my masters.â
âI see,â Realization dawned on Alexiaâs face and she had to look to the side to hide away her smile. A five year age gap. Not bad at all.Â
âŠNot that it was important, though. Definitely not important. âWhat are you majoring in?â
You scrunched up your nose. âIsnât this supposed to be me interviewing you?â
Alexia laughed. âI suppose so.â
âShould we jump into it then?â
âFire away.â
â
As soon as you left, Alexia couldnât concentrate for the rest of the day. She didnât know whether it was because of how stupidly charming you were or because of your addictive smileâokay, no. It was probably not because of you at all. You, who she barely knew. You, with the stars in your eyes, staring at Alexia as if you adored her to bits and wanted to know every single detail about her, including Alexiaâs favourite food.
âShe asked the question out of nowhere, Albs. We were talking about the upcoming season the second before.â Alexia recalled.
âThat does seem pretty random.â Alba replied in between bites of her food.
âRight?! It was like she was done with all her questions, but she wanted to get to know me furtherââ
Alexiaâs sentence was cut off by Albaâs laughter. âDonât get too cocky now, Ale. Just because you have a crush on her doesnât mean sheâs into you too.â
Alexia rolled her eyes. âI donât have a crush on her. I can admit sheâs attractive. And funny. And smart. Does not mean I have a crush on her.â
âSeems like you do,â Alba said, a smirk forming on her lips. âWhich is great! Havenât I been telling you to find someone? This is super great.â
âIâm not gonna date someone years younger than me, Alba,â Alexia cut into her steak and took a bite. Yup. She wasnât going to date someone who was five years younger than her.
âSheâs twenty-five, thatâs nothing.â
Alexia narrowed her eyes at the brunette in front of her. ââŠHow do you know her age? I never told you her age.â
âGoogle exists,â Alba said simply. âAnd remember the girl Iâm sort-of-seeing-but-not-really?â
âMarta,â Alexia nodded.
âMaria,â Alba corrected. âSheâs your girlâs best friend.â
Alexia paused her fork mid-air. âWhat?â
Alba hummed. âThey're on the way here as we speak.â
âWhat?!â Alexia repeated, a clang echoing throughout her dining room as her fork fell to her plate.
âI invited them over for drinks.â
Alexia palmed her face and groaned. âI think I missed the part where you invited them over to my place without my acknowledgement.â
âOh whatever, hermana,â Alba waved her off. âStop acting as if I donât live here.â
âYou donât,â Alexia reminded.
âYour place is my place and all that,â Alba teased.
âAlba,â Alexia felt like strangling Alba. Or anything to wipe that grin off her faceâ
The doorbell interrupted them.
Alba squeaked and jumped out of her chair. âThatâs them!â
Alexia opened her mouth to say something but Alba was already out of the room before she could utter a word. Damn it.
Alexia forced herself to stay cool, following after Alba and sighing when she neared the front door and saw a girl sheâd seen in Albaâs pictures and you.
âHello,â Alexia greeted.Â
âAmor, this is my grumpy and very single sister, Alexia,â Alba pointed at Alexia and Alexia slapped Albaâs hand away.
âIâm Alexia,â Alexia put her hand out, her smile widening when she caught your eyes. Okay, so maybe she didnât hate Alba that much.
âI know, wow, itâs an honor,â your best friend shook Alexiaâs hands. âYouâre a legend.â
Alexia laughs, her cheeks turning red. âThank you.â She turned to you and gave a little wave. âI donât think introductions are necessary, is it?â
âHi, Miss Putellas,â you said. Alexia hated how addicted she was to your voice despite having just met you today.
âOh no. Alexia is fine, please.â
âOkay then,â you grinned and Alexia swore she could die on the spot. âAlexia it is.â
â
âSo, Alexia,â you started. You were seated on one couch, Alba and Maria occupying the smaller seater to your left. No one seemed to be paying attention to the movie anymore. Alexia couldnât even remember what the damn plot of the movie was. You, as it turned out, smelled really good and it was very addictingâand Alexia was insane. Insane for developing a tiny crush on you when you two had just met today.Â
You looked like you didnât know what to say, settling with, âNice place.â
Alexia gave a soft laugh. âThank you? Thereâs more that I havenât shown you actually.â
âYeah?â you sounded like you wanted to have Alexia show you around.
Alexia darted her eyes towards her sister and her ânot-so-dateâ to see that they had both fallen asleep. Alexia contemplated whether being alone with you would be something she should be doing or not, and after a moment she decided that there wasnât any reason for her to not want to be alone with you.Â
So Alexia stood up and offered a hand out for you to take. âCome on, Iâll show you around.â
â
Five minutes into being alone with you and walking around Alexiaâs houseâor mansion, as you called itâAlexia discovered five things about you.
You had two dogs, Salt and Pepper, and Alexia could tell how much you loved them with the way you excitedly told the story about how you got them.
You were an only child and your parents spoiled you to bits and they supported you in everything you did, all the way from the United States.
You were American.
You were taking your masters in sports science and Alexia made a mental note to talk to the physios at Barça on whether they have a vacant spot for you. Not because Alexia wanted to see you everyday, but because she was sure you were a certified genius.
You were hilarious and made Alexia laugh a lot. Alexia wanted more of you.
You were in the middle of retelling how your day went and Alexia somehow really wanted to kiss you, which was dumb and stupid, considering how she barely knew you.Â
You got excited over the littlest things, you talked animatedly about how you saw a dog on your way to Alexiaâs place that looked a lot like your own and you gushed about how the dog barked excitedly at you. Alexia found it adorable, despite being confused on how a dog can bark âexcitedlyâ.
âIâm sorry I talk a lot,â you said, tucking your hair behind your ears.Â
âDonât be,â Alexia bumped your shoulders lightly as you two continued your walk around her house. âItâs cute.â
You playfully rolled your eyes. Alexia could see the red on the tips of your ears. Adorable. âCan we go outside?â you asked, changing the subject.
âSure,â Alexia led you towards the nearest door that leads to her backyard. âThe pool is on the other side, this is my flower garden.â
âYou have a flower garden,â you stated.Â
Alexia hummed in reply. âI love looking at flowers. They are pretty.â
Once you stepped outside, Alexia felt her teeth chatter, cursing herself for not wearing anything more appropriate for the cold night air. When she was about to ask you if you wanted to head back inside, a jacket was draped around her shoulders and Alexia was surrounded with the scent of your vanilla perfume.
ây/n, you donât have toââ
âTake it,â you insisted. âYouâre freezing.â
âYouâre gonna freeze.âÂ
Alexia shook off the black jacket and was about to place it around your shoulders but you walked ahead. âI wonât,â you walked backwards, smiling reassuringly. âIâm still wearing long-sleeves, see? I can handle it. Donât worry.â
Alexia hesitated for a second before putting on the jacket. Alexia hugged herself tighter, it was still cold but also because the jacket smelled really nice. âThank you.â
âNo problem,â you replied. You stopped walking and Alexia would know this if she wasnât so busy looking elsewhere but you.Â
The moment Alexia bumped into you, your hands immediately went to steady her, resting on Alexiaâs forearms. Alexia could feel herself flush, her cheeks getting warm, profusely apologizing because she was usually never this clumsy.
You giggled, your hands were still sending fire to Alexiaâs skin, your faces inches apart. âThatâs okay.â
âI shouldâve watched where I was going,â Alexiaâs face was apologetic. âIâm really sorry.â
âItâs okay. Really,â you were smiling at her. âA lot on your mind today?â
Alexia studied your face and nodded. Definitely a lot. She noticed that you had a mole under your left eyebrow.Â
âMind sharing?â you asked.
Alexia immediately stood up straighter and cleared her throat. You dropped your hands, but made no move to step away. âJust- work. Media day has never been my favourite.â
Yup. Work. Definitely not because Alexia couldnât get your pretty eyes off her mind.
You narrowed your eyes at her and Alexia held her breath. You were really close. It was getting harder to breathe. All Alexia could think about was that vanilla was about to become her favourite scent.
âYouâre very interesting.â
Alexia raised her eyebrows at that. âI am?â
âYeah,â you nodded. âI saw you at training yesterday, you know. We had a briefing to prepare for today. You were⊠I wouldnât say scary, but I was pretty sure your teammates were about to pee their pants.â
Alexia broke into a laugh. âWhat?â
âYou had that furrow between your brows,â you elaborated, raising your hand and hesitantly running a finger across Alexiaâs forehead. âAnd I could hear your stern captain voice,â you chuckled, dropping your hand. âBut despite that you were still as charismatic and graceful as ever. I could see why people would be so intimidated by you.â
âAnd thatâs interesting to you?â Alexia said, her voice barely a whisper. Her heart was hammering wildly in her chest.
âYeah,â you answered, your voice matching Alexiaâs whisper. âBecause while I was interviewing you earlier today and this whole night, youâve been acting the opposite and I couldnât figure it out.â
âThe opposite?â
âYouâre⊠awkward,â you laughed. âYou take charge on the field, your chin held high, you look people straight in the eye when conversing with them. But youâre so awkwardâyou bump into me, you stutter, you canât look me in the eye for more than five seconds.â
Damn it. You were smart. Well, Alexia knew you were smart, but this was⊠this was you being able to read Alexiaâs thoughts and damn. it.
Alexia couldnât even defend herself because it was true. All the things you observed were true and what could Alexia exactly say to that? That Alexia acted that way because she was nervous? That being around you made her nervous? Which was baffling because Alexia had done speeches in front of thousands of people without tripping over her words once, yet one night with you and Alexiaâs vocabulary went out the window.
âUh Iâm sorry if that was overstepping,â you said, finally stepping backwards. âI was just stating what I saw.â
You looked really beautiful under the moonlight. Your eyes casted downwards, your hands fidgety, as if you were doubting yourself about why you said all that. You looked nervous, perhaps about what Alexia would say next.Â
But despite everything, you looked really beautiful under the moonlight and Alexia figured that there was no harm in telling you that.
âYouâre right,â Alexia laughed. âYouâre absolutely right.â A pause. âYouâre beautiful.â
You whipped your head up and looked at Alexia with wide eyes. âWhat?â
âI think you look really beautiful right now,â Alexia exhaled and stepped forward. She couldnât believe she was doing this. âThat is why Iâm so awkward around you. I just donât know how to act. I get nervous around pretty girls.â
You laughed and Alexia took it as an opportunity to pull you in for a kiss, swallowing all your laughter.
Alexia became addicted to the scent of vanilla.
â
Turns out Alexia did suck at romance. She missed dates, forgot to call you back and was a bad texter. The first week Alexia didnât think her thing with you was going to last. She really was terrible.
But weeks turned into months and despite the missed dinners, you stayed patient. You were there in her kitchen with takeout at 10 p.m., waiting for Alexiaâs meeting to end. You were there at 7 in the morning before Alexia left for training, a bag of pastries in hand. Alexia would happily munch on her guilty pleasures on the way to training, quickly getting rid of any traces of crime from her nutritionists.
You didnât get tired of her even though Alexia stupidly didnât move an inch the first time you initiated a kiss. You only laughed when you first stayed the night at Alexiaâs place and Alexia offered her bed while she slept in one of her spare bedrooms. You didnât mind that you sent paragraphs of text only for Alexia to reply with one or two wordsâyou didnât get mad, instead you would call Alexia to get her reply because you knew Alexia preferred talking instead of texting.
And Alexia was never the one to show affection. Pats on the back between teammates were appropriate. Hugs were awkward. She kissed each of her exes once or twice.Â
You were different and you were persistent. You liked hugs. You hugged Alexia any chance you could get. You preferred to cuddle during movie nights and you liked to hug Alexia from behind when she was cooking dinner. The fact that Alexia tensed whenever you hugged her just made you hug her even tighter.
Strangely, Alexia didnât find it uncomfortable. If she did, she would've said something. But Alexia actually liked your hugs.Â
(âAre all hugs like this?â
âWhat do you mean âare all hugs like thisâ?
âI donât know, Alba. Like- you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.âÂ
âGod, youâre nauseating.â
âIâm asking a genuine question!â
âYou are in love that's what it is.â)
Five months into your relationship, Alexia started to be the one initiating the hugs. She was more affectionate; intertwining your hand with hers when you walk side-by-side and kissing you goodbye in front of your friends, not caring about the whistles thrown at you.
Alexia still missed dates and phone calls, but strangely enough you still didnât seem to mind. Alexia was left dumbfounded because how were you perfectly fine with all of this? There was a reason why Alexiaâs past relationships never lasted.
âI know youâre busy, baby. And I know youâre trying your best too.â you once said. Alexia almost shed a tear because how were you so. damn. perfect?
After eight months of being together, Alexia was juggling her relationship and football much better. She canceled an important meeting for the first time ever because she promised that she would pick you and your parents up from the airport.
Alba called her crazy, and her past self definitely would agree with Alba. Alexia didnât care though. The smile on your face when Alexia showed up with flowers in hand was priceless.
âWhat are you daydreaming about?â
âHm?â Alexia looked to the side and found you staring at her. âNothing.â
You laughed, setting your book aside and rested your head on Alexiaâs chest. Alexia wrapped her arms around your smaller frame and kissed the top of your head.
âIf you say so,â you lazily drew circles on Alexiaâs stomach. âWhat should we get for dinner?â
âWhat do you want?â
âYou always ask me what I want,â you giggled. âCan you choose for tonight?â
Alexia hummed in thought and after a moment she added, âPizza it is.â
You immediately sat upright, a huge grin on your face. âYou really are a mind reader, you know?â
Alexia shrugged, a smile at the corner of her lips. âI told you.â
You shook your head fondly, laughing as you laid back down to your previous position.
âI love you, Ale.â
I love you. Right. Alexia should probably say it back at some point.
But should she even say it back? Wasnât that too soon? Alexia didnât know when the appropriate time of reciprocating your girlfriendâs confession of love would be.
When she asked Alba about it, Alba questioned her back asking if the reason she hadnât said it back was because she didnât feel the same way you didâwhich was stupid. Alexia made sure to throw her popcorn across the couch, all the way to Albaâs face, because what kind of stupid question was that?
The first time you said those three words to Alexia, Alexia accidentally sliced her finger instead of the tomato on her chopping board. It was three months after you became official and Alexia wasnât expecting it. Not that soon, at least. But you did and Alexia was so caught off guard that you two had to halt your cooking session and order sushi for dinner instead. Alexia didnât bring up the topic again all night and you didnât either.
Just because Alexia didnât say it back didnât mean she didnât love you.Â
Or⊠maybe Alba was right. Did she love you?Â
You, who were the most understanding and loving person Alexia had ever met. You, who made her laugh in the mornings and made her laugh before she went to sleep. You, who were never mad at Alexia when she forgot to call despite promising that she would.
âBeing in love with someone and just enjoying their company are completely different things, you know that right?â
âWhat?â Alexia looked at her sister in disbelief. âOf course I do.â
âCool. So which one is it with you?â
âWhich one?â
Alba rolled her eyes. âAre you in love with her or do you just like having her around?â
In Alexiaâs defense, she didnât have much experience of being in love. How was she supposed to know whatever that feeling was like? The only relationship she had was with Jenni and that didn't work out because they were both too busy to have a relationship. Was she ever in love with Jenni? Maybe not. A crush, sure. Jenni was an attractive woman.
Was it the same with you? Alexia liked you a lot, that was for sure. Was it so much to the point that it was love?
Alexia figured if this was Jenni, she wouldnât have to think about this so much. Jenni didnât care about love and all the clichĂ© things. Alexia didnât either.Â
And Alexia wouldnât have cared so much if it werenât for the fact that you told Alexia you loved her every chance you got. (Alexia felt like the worldâs biggest asshole every time you got silence instead of her saying it back).
When it rained and Alexia always held the umbrella for the two of you, making sure not a single droplet of rain fell on top of your head but ended up soaking wet herself, you would laugh and âI love you, Alexia Putellas.âÂ
When you had to move out of your apartment and Alexia told you that you could stay with her until you found a place because she did have some spare rooms (even though you ended up sleeping in Alexiaâs bed every night), âReally? Alexia Putellas, my saviour, thank you, I love you,â as you peppered her face with kisses.
When Alexia found out that Maria, your best friend, was also your first love, you reassured her that all your feelings for Maria were now strictly platonic. âShe was my first love, but that was years ago. I love you. Youâre my present and my future, Alexia Putellas.â
When you came home with Alexia for Christmas and some of her family members kept on sending wary glances towards you, you held Alexiaâs hand on top of the dinner table and proclaimed your love for her for everyone to hear, your chin up and your tone proud. âI love Alexia. Iâll take care of her the best way I can.â
When Alexia would pick you up from classes, leaning against her grey Cupra, you would sprint towards her, a big smile on your face and a âYou didnât have to pick me up, I know youâre a busy woman. Love you.â
Every single time Alexia would return a smile or a kiss, never saying it back when she knew you were expecting it every single time. Alexia realized romance wasnât as easy as she thought and this whole thing with you was bound to blow up if she didnât get her shit together.
â
Turns out, it did blow up sooner than Alexia expected. She wished this point never cameâshe knew it would, she had been dreading it ever sinceâbut Alexia cursed the stars for actually making it happen. She just wanted to at least hold you for another night.
You two were getting ready for bed, Alexia changing into her pyjamas while you were already tucked in bed and you two were fine.Â
Alexia was talking about her day, how her mom scolded her because she was five minutes late to breakfast (which was insane because it was only five minutes), about the meeting she had for a possible new brand deal, and how she missed you the entire day. And maybe Alexia shouldâve noticed how quiet you were or how your body tensed the moment Alexia slid her arms under the cover and wrapped them around your waist.
When Alexia thought you had fallen asleep, you spoke, just barely above a whisper.
âI love you.â
It was silentâso silent that Alexia could hear a hair pin drop. She didnât know why this night felt different. Alexia didnât know why there was an edge to your voice and why there was something else she couldnât quite place.
You turned around to face your girlfriend. Alexia could make out the faint outlines of your face in the darkâshe had memorized every single inch of you.
âI love you, Alexia,â you stated once more. This time Alexia could clearly hear the challenge in your tone.
Alexia stared back at you, a sinking feeling started to settle in the pit of her stomach.
Seconds passed by, Alexia saw the mixture of emotions all over your face. You were hurt, Alexia could tell. You looked angry too, this Alexia wasnât expecting.Â
âDo you love me?â
Alexia was taken aback by the bluntness of the question. âWhat?â
âDo. you. love. me?â your tone turned impatient.
Alexia was wide-eyed. This wasnât where she was expecting this night to go. ây/nââ
You got up from the bed and Alexia followed suit. You two were standing in front of each other on the foot of the bed, you with your arms across your chest and a scowl on your face.Â
âHey, whatâs going on?
ââWhatâs going onâ?â you scoffed. âDo you love me or not? I asked you a simple question, Alexia.â
âIââ Alexiaâs voice got stuck in her throat. She didnât know what to say. She didnât like that she was being put on the spot like this either.
You stayed silent, an expectant look on your face. When Alexia didnât say anything else, you let out a big sigh.
ây/nâŠâ Alexia croaked out. She was afraid where this conversation would go.
You groaned, taking a fistful of your hair before exploding at Alexia. âItâs a simple fucking question, Alexia!â
Alexia was taken aback by your outburst. âIââ
You stepped forward, a fiery look in your eyes. âI. Love. You.â you punctured each word with a jab to Alexiaâs chest.Â
Alexia stared into your eyes, seeing the mixture of rage, sadness and disappointment swimming around in them. Alexia knew she should say somethingâshe should say the one thing she knew you wanted to hear. But why was it so hard for her to utter those words? Was it because she didnât feel it? Or was it because she was scared? Alexia didnât know, she needed to think, but you weren't letting her.
âYou donât love me, do you?â your tone was full of defeat. Alexia knew that it was now or never. She was going to lose youâreally lose youâif she didnât say something. âAll this time you never said it. I tried to make sense of it, I tried to make sense of you. You got me flowers every weekâsometimes even twice a week. You listen when I ramble about useless things, you accompany me to my lame university events, let people talk to you about politics and you never talk back to them even though I know you have opposite views on things. You just want my friends to like you. You remember all the dumb little things, remember when we first met and what I was wearing at that time. You tell me I look good even though I stayed up all night doing my assignments, you tell me Iâm beautiful at five in the morning, at midnight, in the middle of the day. You look at me like youâre in love with me. Like you love me.âÂ
You paused and took a deep breath. You gave a bitter laugh before looking straight into Alexiaâs eyes. âYou do all these things but you never told me that you love me. Not even once, Ale. And once upon a time, I believed you loved me. But I justâI donât know anymore.â
Alexia stayed silent.Â
âYouâre not even gonna say anything?â
Alexia stayed silent because she didnât know how to say anything without hurting you even more.
âSo itâs true, then?â your tone was full of defeat, your eyes shining with unshed tears. Alexia hated herself for being the cause of it.
ây/n,â Alexia whispered, her hands reaching out to touch you but you moved away. âIââ
âNo,â you ran a hand through your hair and gave a humourless laugh. âJust, save it, Alexia. I think I heard you loud and clear.â
When you slammed the door shut, Alexia felt the sobs at the back of her throat but she swallowed them. To cry meant she regretted everything that led you to walk out.Â
Alexia did this to herself. She was the reason you left, Alexia didnât deserve to cry. So Alexia stared out her window all night, wondering whether the reason her heart hurt so much was because the feeling she had for you was love all along and she was just too dumb to realize.
â
When Alexia didnât get a single âI love you, beautifulâ in the middle of a meeting and when no one was there to kiss her goodnight and whispers of âI love youâ, Alexia wondered how dumb she was to let everything slip from her fingers.
â
Maria came by her house a few days after you left, saying that you had asked her to pack your stuff up. Alexia couldnât do anything else but let her in and watched as your things that were scattered around her house were shoved into boxes.
Alexia didn't say anything, she couldnât ask Maria where you were staying now or if you were okay. Alexia figured she didn't deserve an answer.Â
âIs this y/nâs?â Maria was holding a stuffed teddy bear, one of its eyes missing and an embroidery of your initials seen on its left chest.
âNo,â Alexia lied, taking the teddy and sending your best friend a small smile hoping that she was convincing enough. âIt's mine. I know Iâm too old to own one of these⊠it has⊠sentimental values.â
Maria nodded and Alexia had a feeling that Maria knew she was lying, that she knew exactly that it was your favourite teddy bear and that Alexia lied because she wanted to keep a part of you to herself.Â
âOkay then, Iâll get going,â Maria lifted the last of the boxes and gave Alexia an awkward smile.Â
Alexia nodded and gestured towards the door. âIâll walk you out.â
Once the back of Mariaâs car was filled with your things, it dawned on Alexia that you were really gone.
You weren't talking to her anymore and there weren't any of your things left in Alexiaâs house. There was no more reason for you to come back and Alexia had to force a smile on her face, not wanting to cry, especially not in front of Maria.
âActually, uhm,â Maria cleared her throat. ây/n has something for you.â
âOh.â
âYeah,â Maria gave an awkward laugh before reaching into her car and pulling out an envelope. âShe told me to give you this.â
Alexia took the envelope with shaky hands, once again forcing a smile onto her face. âThanks.â
Maria was looking at her with so much pity in her eyes and a part of Alexia was angry at her, because just like Maria, she pitied herself too. How could she ruin such a good relationship? She felt pathetic and she understood why Maria was looking at her that way.
âAlexia, look,â Maria stepped forward and placed a hand on the captainâs arm. âI honestly think you two will get through this.â
Alexia gave a bitter laugh at that. Was Maria mocking her now? âShe packed all of her things. Well, you did, but it doesnât matter. What part of all of this still makes you think that sheâll come back? Because I donât think she will. I screwed up. She is not coming back. Itâs fine, Iâll live.â Alexia hated how despite trying to act unaffected, anyone could hear the shakiness in her voice.
Maria squeezed her arm lightly. âShe loves you. And right now she doesnât think that you love her back, which I know isnât the case.â
âHow? You donât know what Iâm feeling,â Alexia felt her defensiveness kick in. âWhat if sheâs right and I donât love her, not even a little bit?â
Maria shook her head and gave a soft smile. âYou seem to forget that Iâve been in your place before. I know what it looks like to love y/nâto be in love with her. You canât lie to me.â
Alexia crossed her arms. She didnât know why she was getting annoyed at where the conversation was going. âThen why donât you go be with her?â
Maria laughed at that. âBecause she loves you, not me, silly. Plus, Iâm in love with your sister.â
Alexia didnât say anything in reply and Maria took that as a cue to leave. Before getting in her car, she looked at Alexia one last time. âContrary to what you think, you havenât really lost herânot for good anyway.â
âI appreciate your optimism,â Alexia replied, her voice lacking any enthusiasm.
âI know that if you show up in front of her right now and tell her how you really feel, sheâll take you back in a heartbeat. She loves you.â
âThen why did she ask you to pack her things?â Alexia challenged back. âIf she still loves me like you claimed, wouldnât she be fine with seeing my face and not having to avoid me? And she wouldnât just- just leave.â
âAle, you two broke up over something so stupid. I canât for the love of me figure out why- how something so simple canââ Maria palmed her forehead, letting out a sigh. âJust tell her you love her. Whatâs so hard about that?â
âBecause I donât know if I do!â Alexia shouted frustratedly. âOkay?â
Maria softened at that and gave Alexia a reassuring smile. âI have a feeling that you already know the answer,â she shrugged. âThink it through. Donât take too long.âÂ
And with that Maria left, leaving Alexia standing with your envelope in her hands. She took a deep breath and opened it. Alexia expected a long letterâmaybe of you ranting about how much you hated her for breaking your heart, or pages filled with curses and how you never wanted to see her again. But all she got was a small piece of paper with one sentence and a bracelet that Alexia gave you on your one month anniversary.
itâs okay if you donât feel the same way I do, don't beat yourself up
-y/n
â
When days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and Alexia still hadnât heard from you, Alexia realized she finally lost you for good. Alexia realized that maybe she shouldâve taken Mariaâs advice, but she had put it off so much that now it had been months and who was to say that you hadnât already found someone new? Someone who actually loved you.
The thought caused Alexia to finally bawl her eyes out, exactly three months after you left. Alexia let herself feel all the pain and hurt, savoring every little twinge in her heart because she deserved it all. She hurt you, she didnât deserve anything good anymore.
Alba pulled her out of bed, telling her to get her shit together and usually Alexia was never the one to dwell on thingsâonce you fall, you get back up.Â
But this time it was different. Alexia felt that this was it. How could she recover from all this hurt when all she wanted was your smile back? Alexia thought that if she was given a choice, she would rather lose the Ballon dâOr than to lose youâthat was how important you were to her. Alexia knew she was dumb to not realize it sooner.
Despite Alexiaâs complete despair about the whole thing, Alba was adamant that Alexia could do something about it. Alba was the one who told her to woman up and chase after her girl and âSeriously, hermana? I know I said youâre terrible at romance but donât let that define you?! Do something!â
One night, Alexia discovered a pub not far from her place. No one was there except for her and one bartender. It was nice, Alexia could drink as much as she wanted without any judgment from anyone, and most importantly, she could think.
Alexia had a list and it went something like this:
Do I love y/n?Â
Can I get y/n back
Do I even deserve y/n back
Am I in love with y/n
Does y/n still love me
How can y/n be so perfect
Do. I. Love. Her
Alexia was brooding and drowning in her sorrows, everything seemed so wrong. It all seemed so difficult and it took hours of being alone, surrounded by alcohol, for Alexia to finally realize that it was actually simple.
Well, the drink definitely helped, but a song was playing on the speakers and Alexia would think that it was odd for a Taylor Swift song to be playing there if it werenât for the fact that she was the only customer that night and the bartender probably just didnât care about his song choices.
âLet me get this straight,â Alba said slowly, sipping on her coffee. It was the morning after and a Saturday, Alba was always at Alexiaâs at 7 a.m. âYou had an epiphany⊠because of a song you heard?â
âYes,â Alexia nodded. âItâs actually very simple.â
âVery simpleâŠ?â
âThis whole thing. Iâm in love with y/n.â Alba choked on her coffee and Alexia patted her back. âA shocker,â Alexia grimaced at Albaâs coughs. âI know.â
âWhat kind of song led you to this conclusion?âÂ
âTaylor Swift.â
âNo fucking way.â
âWhat?â Alexia shrugged. âKissing on sidewalks, light-hearted jokes, coffees at midnight⊠theyâre all simple things but itâs who youâre with that makes it all so special. And I had all the things that the song mentioned with y/n, and they meant a lot to meâeven though these things seem trivial, I cherish them a lot because I felt happy and- and in love. I get it now.â
Alba was stunned, Alexia could see with the way her eyes were widened and mouth agape.
âSo this is definitely months overdue. Maybe I shouldâve looked for y/n right after Maria took her things away, but it is what it is. I want to make things right. Help me, please.â
âFinally,â Alba sighed, a smile slowly forming on her lips. âI know where she lives now. Will you promise me not to break her heart anymore, because she's my girlfriendâs best friend and I really canât have you breaking her heart again.â
Alexia grinned as Alba told her your address.
â
To get you back, Alexia had a plan (courtesy of Miss Taylor Swift):
Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain
Say âItâs been a long three months and I was too afraid to tell you what I wantâ
Say âI want you for worse or for better. I would wait forever and ever. Broke your heart, I'll put it back togetherâ
Remind her how it used to be
â
âHi.â
Your eyes immediately widened once you saw Alexia.Â
You stared at the girl in front of you for a good minute. Alexia had to hug herself tighter, her teeth chattering from the cold. âAre you going to let me in? Besides it being so cold, I donât want your neighbour to see me in these.â Alexia gestured towards the baby pink sweatshirt with tiny puppies she was wearing.Â
âYouâreââ
âInsane?â Alexia grinned. Exactly like what the Taylor Swift song said. This was going as planned.
âNo- well that too,â you said, looking at Alexia in disbelief. âWhat I meant to say is that youâre drenched.â
âYes,â Alexia agreed. âIt is raining.â
âExactly! Why are you out in the rain?â
âBecause- because Iâm supposed to stand here like a ghost, shaking from the rain.â Alexia had a smile on her lips, hoping that you would smile back at her because that would mean that you didnât hate her.
So when you laughed in disbelief and shook your head, ushering her inside, Alexia breathed out a sigh of relief.
âDo you want some tea?â you offered.
âNo, thank you.â
âRight, my bad,â you opened your fridge, taking something out. âWhat I meant to offer is milk,â you placed the tiny sized milk carton on the kitchen counter and sat across Alexia. âI still canât believe you drink this.â
âYou donât drink milk,â Alexia stated.
You shrugged, your cheeks showing a hint of pink. âThis has been a permanent thing on my grocery list. Itâs second nature. I guess.â
Alexia stayed silent. She didnât know what she was expecting, but she wasnât expecting this. Maybe she was expecting you to hate her. For you to slam the door in her face and never talk to her again.Â
With how your last interaction turned out, Alexia was expecting you to be more angry, or to be anything other than to welcome Alexia into your new apartment and provide her with her favourite drink that you still bought even though you two broke up months ago.
It wasnât making any sense to her.Â
âHow are you so civil towards me?â Alexia blurted out.
âIâm sorry?â
âYou didnât slam the door in my face.â
You looked confused. âWas I supposed to do that?â
âNo!â Alexia quickly said. âI mean- itâs nice that you didnât slam the door in my face. I think I wouldâve, if I were you.â
âOh. Well. I donât think Iâm the type to slam the door in my exâs face.â
Alexia laughed softly. âThanks.â
âWelcome,â you grinned. A warm feeling settled in Alexiaâs chest because she really missed that smile.
The silence that followed was nice. Alexiaâs eyes darted around your apartment as she sipped on her strawberry milk. You poured yourself a cup of tea and it was still funny how your choice of drink was more mature than Alexiaâs despite being five years younger than her.Â
âSo what brings you here?â you broke the silence.
âOh,â Alexia rubbed the back of her neck. âWhy I came hereâŠâ Alexia trailed off.
âWhy you came hereâŠâ you copied.
Alexia gave a nervous laugh. She had a whole speech planned out, but now you were staring at her and Alexia was surprised that your eyes that used to look at Alexia with so much love were still looking at her the exact same way.Â
That, and combined with the fact that Alexia couldnât spot a single trace of anger in your face despite what Alexia did, made her burst into tears.
Here was the thing: Alexia disliked crying. That was obvious with the way Alexia cried for you months after you left and not the days that followed. Alexia was convinced that crying was a sign of weakness, so whenever she felt hot tears at the back of her eyes, she would always squeeze her eyes shut and push them away.
It was surprising to her that she was openly letting her tears fall in the middle of her exâs kitchen, her chest shaking as her cries became harder.
Alexia felt you next to her and the next thing she knew, she was being pulled into your arms. She could hear the pounding of your heart and she could feel your gentle kisses on the top of her head. It felt good and it made Alexia realize that letting her emotions show wasnât so bad.
âIâm sorry.â
âHm?â
âIâm really sorry for being so oblivious about things,â Alexia croaked out. âSorry for hurting you. I never meant to.â
âAlexiaââ
âLet me finish,â Alexia interrupted, turning in her chair to face you. She looked up into your warm eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this. Just like what she practiced. âUhm- itâs been a long three months. I was too afraid to tell you what I wantââ
âYou are not quoting Taylor Swift,â you were holding in your laughter. âAre you?â
ây/n,â Alexia groaned. âI donât know how to do this, okay? But Taylor Swift saidââ
You laughed so hard and Alexia felt the warmness back in her chest. âSorry itâs just,â you sighed fondly. âYou hate Taylor Swift, Ale.â
âI donât! I just donât know her well enough to like her,â Alexia corrected. âThereâs a difference.âÂ
âMhmm, sure.â
âI listened to a couple of her songs and they werenât that bad. Plus, the lyrics really resonated with me.â
âSo all this speech is just you telling me you like Taylor Swift now?â
Alexia rolled her eyes, ignoring your remark. âNo. There was one song about being in love, and it was so-â Alexiaâs voice grew smaller, her cheeks reddening before she could finish her sentence. âIt describes how I feel about you. It helped me⊠understand my feelings.â
You had an amused look on your face, almost smug. Alexiaâs face kept on flushing under your gaze. âHm. How so?â
âOh you know,â Alexia started fidgeting with her hands on top of the kitchen counter, looking everywhere but you. âJust⊠That I understand why they lost their minds and fought the wars.â
You were quiet before you burst out laughing. Alexia had an offended look on her face yet she was smiling nonetheless. âExcuse me,â Alexia chastised. âIâm trying to confess something here.â
You immediately pursed your lips but not a second later the laughters were back. âSorry,â you said once your laughter died down. âYouâve been quoting Taylor Swift the entire night. Who are you, Alexia Putellas?â
âCan you not?â Alexia pouted. âIâm not good at this, you know that.â
Alexia could feel your hands cupping her cheeks, causing them to burn under your touch. All this felt awfully familiar and Alexia had to remind herself that you were broken up.
Taking a deep breath while still having you so near, Alexia continued. âI canât remember what to say next. Maybe because youâre too close,â Alexia bluntly said. When a hint of hurt and confusion flashed across your face, Alexia was quick to clarify. âYouâre making me nervous, y/n. Itâs- Iâm just so nervous. You know I always get nervous around you. Can you please stand at least five feet away?â
You shook her head in amusement and moved away, sitting on your previous spot across from Alexia. âYouâre ridiculous.â
Alexia smiled sheepishly. âI think whatâs ridiculous is how weâre broken up yet it doesnât feel like it right now.â
âIt does, doesnât it,â you had your eyes casted downwards, a wistful smile on your lips. âRemind her how it used to beâ, checked.
âIâm sorry I screwed things up. You know how dumb I can be sometimes.â
âYeah,â you scrunched up her nose. âYou can be pretty dumb sometimes.â
âHey!â
âBut I still love you nonetheless.â And there it was again, the challenge in your tone. Alexia was transported back to that night three months ago when you left.
âOkayâŠâ Alexia dragged on. âI know what youâre expecting and honestly I donât know why it took me so long to realize it butââ Alexia took a deep breath.Â
âI donât have much experience with love and believe it or not, Iâve never been in love before. I just donât find it important. What was important to me was football and being the best in the world, making sure my legacy lives on and how my dad would be proud of me, wherever he is. So if youâd ask me what love was a year ago, my paper would turn out blank, because I just donât care. Alba kept on making jokes about how Iâm going to end up alone andââ Alexia laughed. âFrankly, it wasnât even a joke because I was pretty sure it would come true. But then I met you, and I was so determined to prove Alba wrong because I can care about someone other than football, but then you left, and I was back to the sinking feeling that maybe Iâm just not meant for anyone. And before you say anything, y/n, I know I can overthink sometimesâor maybe a lot. But uhm- you being gone, it forced me to think and I realized that itâs actually a lot simpler than what I imagined.â
âAlexia, breathe,â you interrupted, a fond look on your face.Â
Alexia took a deep breath, she didnât realize how much she was rambling. âSorry,â Alexia smiled sheepishly, scratching at the back of her neck nervously. âWhat I meant to say isââ
You caught Alexiaâs hands that were waving around crazily in front of her. âI think,â you laughed, you intertwined your fingers and Alexia had to take another deep breath because she forgot what a sight it was to see your hands locked. âI really think you should breathe first.â
Alexia gave a nervous laugh. âI donât know why Iâm so all over the place with you. I can win championships, but with you⊠I had to practice my speech in front of a stupid mirror, because I know this will happen. This, as in me throwing up words- God, Iâm such a mess.â
âYou practiced in front of a mirror?âÂ
âHuh? Yeah,â Alexiaâs cheeks grew red. âOf course I didâŠâ
You let go of Alexiaâs hands and leaned back. âWell then, go on.â
âHuh?â Alexia squeaked.
âYes, your speech. We wouldnât want your practice to go to waste now, do we?â you were smiling and Alexia really wanted to kiss that smile away.Â
âFine. Yes. My speech.â Alexia took a deep breath. ây/n. Love is⊠Love is mornings with you and how your smile is the first thing I see when I wake up. Love is the sound of your laughter echoing throughout the supermarket aisle when I did a stupid dance after getting the last box of mac and cheese. Love is the nights spent together, feeling the rise and fall of your chest and how you talk in your sleep. Love is the silence on the way home, when weâre both too tired to talk, but itâs nice and I donât mind it. Love is the way your hands instantly find mine every single time. And I know that love isnât perfect because love is me breaking your heart and unknowingly breaking mine too. Love is scary because love is lowering your guards down and putting your heart on a damn silver platter and giving your person the chance to ruin you. But Iâd let you, y/n. Iâd give you a million chances to ruin me because I love you.âÂ
Your stare was intense and Alexia had to look away. âTe amo. I do. Iâm sorry it took me so long to realize it, and I know it has been months and a lot has changed⊠but Iâm here, if you want me. I am all yours. Because I love you. Iâve been in love with you ever since the first night, I think.â
Alexia forced herself to look back at you, her eyes locking with her favourite pair of orbs. âI want you for worse or for better, mi amor, and I would wait forever for you. I know I broke your heart, but I promise I'll put it back together.â
You had a smile on your lips and your eyebrow raised after Alexiaâs last sentence and Alexia wanted to celebrate internally because maybe Taylor Swift was a genius after all.
But when you didnât say anything else, Alexiaâs smile dropped and she had to accept that you could very well reject her. It had been months. A lot could happen in three months.
Alexia could feel the start of pain in her chest but then you laughed and Alexiaâs eyes widened because why would you be laughing if you were going to reject her?
âYou love me,â you stated.
Alexia was still staring at you. âI doâŠâ
You went closer to her until your hands were back cupping Alexiaâs face and that was when Alexia realized that you weren't rejecting her. Holy shit.
âYou dummy,â your tone was light but Alexia turned serious.
âI know,â Alexia sucked in a deep breath. âI was a terrible girlfriend, amor. I donât know how you loved me when all I did was mess up, but I promise that Iâll be better if youââ
âWe all mess up,â you interjected. âWeâre not perfect, baby. And youâre gonna mess up again in the future and I will too, but weâll get through it together.â
Alexia was silent, taking in your words. âSo uhm,â Alexia had to contain herself from grinning from ear-to-ear. âYou still want to be with me?â
Instead of answering, you leaned down and kissed her. Alexia let herself grin into the kiss and she swore that she would do whatever it takes to never lose you again.
â
Ale: I got the girl *insert smiling face with sunglasses emoji*
Albs: what
Albs: just use the emoji wtf weirdo
Ale: Thank you, Taylor Swift
Albs: youâre seriously so weird
Albs: how are we related?
Albs: but anyway congratulationsÂ
Albs: you wonât end up as a cat lady after all :D
Ale: Fuck off, Alba. You know Iâm allergic to cats
â
** INTERVIEW NOTES:
ALEXIA PUTELLAS
SHE SMELLS NICE Y/N !!! FOCUS
VERY SERIOUS, ONLY LAUGHED ONCE
JUST TOLD HER TO SMILE MORE BECAUSE SHE HAS A PRETTY SMILE WILL SHE KICK ME OUT
SHE LIKES TACOS ??? IS THIS EVEN IMPORTANTÂ
SMART, INTELLIGENT, VERY ELOQUENT WITH WORDS !!! JUST TAKE MY HEART ALREADY ALEXIA PUTELLASÂ
HER EYES CRINKLE WHEN SHE LAUGHS OMFG ADORABLE
I THINK IâM IN LOVE
SHE JUST ASKED ME WHAT IâM WRITING DOWN
BYE
â
a/n: this was a looong one hope you enjoyed it, loves !!! please let me know your thoughts :) :) :)
#woso community#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#woso#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas#woso fanfics#woso one shot#fcb femenĂ
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Not Tonight
[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam Ă Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]
[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Reader generally not having a good time.]
(Not proofread. Not too much Yandere shown. Mostly angst with Reader. Set up(?))
2nd chapter here. Chapter 3 Pt. 1, Pt. 2. [Series Masterlist]
àčÛ©ÛÛ©àčââââââââââââââââââââàčÛ©ÛÛ©àč
How many times have you heard them say that? How many times have you tried to do something with them, to share your passion â or even just have some coffee with them, only to hear them say that phrase time and time again.
"Not tonight."
Well, what if you didn't ask them during the night? What if you asked them in the afternoon, or just when they were already up and about?
"Sorry! I can't right now, patrol reeeally kicked my ass last night. Besides, I have some other things that I have to get done, but maybe next time! For sure!"
Okay, right. That makes sense. Sometimes their line of work can be tough and draining, especially when someone is trying to run Gotham to the ground that night. So what if you just try to ask them when they aren't so busy? It may really limit the times you can ask... but you'd still try. Maybe it could also help if you asked for smaller things, like if they'd just like to spend a little time with you before going out again, or if you could just hang around them for a while? Nothing big, and anything was fine. Even if it was just sitting next to them, and having some small talk. Or maybe just the sitting part if talking was too much.
You'd take anything at all.
"I'm actually heading out right now, so I can't stick around. Go ask someone else."
"Can't you see that I already have enough compang with Titus here? Go bother Drake or something, I don't care."
All you could hear was snores past the door when you went to ask. So you moved onto someone else, hoping for a yes as your heart began to squeeze.
Someone had to agree eventually, right?
You begged the Gods as you traveled down the long halls. The chills of reality creeping up on you.
"Sorry, I'm going out to hang with some friends, but maybe next time!"
"..." She just looked at you before shaking her head, and taking her leave.
"I've got something to do at the moment, sorry, but hey, maybe you could ask your old man? Oh! Or maybe Alfred. That's a good idea."
Dick was out in Bludhaven, and you didn't want to bother Barbara considering how bisy she must've been the other night. So, you had no other choice. You asked, heart bleeding from how hard it squeezed.
"Not now."
Simple, to the point, and sharp.
Bruce's words were as cold as ever, and yet the echo in the cave only seemed to make the gap between you and him feel so much bigger. Even as you just nodded, eyes pointed to the floor. Taking your leave with a soft sigh that barely escaped you.
The elevator ride was longer than you remembered. The cold chill in the air grew freezing even as you stepped out, and now stood in one of the many halls in the Wayne Manor. Portraits and pictures decorated the walls, their painted and photographed eyes staring at you. Their gaze far from soft, but at least it was present. At least they, in that way, felt present.
You swore the only times they ever smiled at you that wasn't faked, or just for the sake of appearances was in those paintings and photos. Honestly, it was also probably the most times they've even looked at you too, and as sad as it is â you did say you'd take anything, right?
A 'no' or 'maybe' was part of that anything, technically. It's just not what you were hoping for.
Sighing again, you stared up at one of the portraits, eyes shinging under the lights as everything you refused to say made itself so clear for a moment. You didn't want much, and never asked for more than what you were given. You didn't think so anyway.
You always followed the rules, you did more than just excel in all your classes no matter how hard it was for you to understand certain things, and you even tried to get into things your family seemed to enjoy without pushing too hard.
You studied up on all the pets Damian had so that you could not only care for them properly, but maybe even take care of them with him some day. You played games and read reviews on games you saw Tim play just for a chance that maybe you'd get the opportunity to play with him. You picked up boxing and have even been practicing your aim with an airsoft gun, and have also been going to certain place when you could to practice using real guns and learn about them just so you'd maybe be able to have a conversation with Jason, and even connect with him in some way. You even read nearly all the books in the library just to have a sliver of hope for something, anything.
You learned sign language in three different languages and tried to find out what Cassandra was interested in, just to have some kind of interaction with her. Even writing on small note cards in serval other languages in hopes she'd give some kind of response, even if you forgot to put your initials and such more than several times. You participated in gymnastics in hopes of getting closer to Dick. You tried to find out what Barbra was into so you could also hold up a conversation with her if given the chance. You've tried to match Stephen's energy and do things she likes and have even taken up material arts as a means to maybe be a little closer with everyone!
Yet it never seems like enough.
Your schedule was so packed and filled with activities and extra lessons of all kinds, just so that you could feel like you had something in common with someone in this family. So that, when given the chance, you'd be able to form a connection with one of them and your efforts and sacrifices wouldn't be in vain. Though that still had yet to happen.
You weren't even a vigilante as you tried to persue your own passion and dreams, and yet that one single thing seemed to be keeping you away from everyone else. The one thing you were unwilling to do for them just seemed to make the gap between you and the rest of the family grow bigger. They're constant and continuous dismissals only seemed to further that point.
Just... what were you doing wrong? Was you not being a vigilante and constantly putting yourself at risk every night really putting that much of a dent in your relationships? Did your dreams really get in the way of that? Just because you didn't want to put yourself in danger? Just because you wanted to pursue music instead?
You took up art despite not being super interested in it before. You've been reading all of your life. Your stretched, ran, exercised, cooked, cleaned, organized, sang, wrote, danced, and even sculpted. You picked up almost any hobby someone could have under the sun, even if it began to feel like a chore and a job to you, just so that you could have something, anything in common with this family.
Though now you've gone through countless 'hobbies', and dropped many more since nothing seemed to be working, it... it still didn't feel like enough. Like you had to be doing something more despite having lost countless hours of sleep, just to go through the list of hobbies you had written down that you had left to try. You even took up some sports you were somewhat interested in, and yet nothing clicked.
Though is that really surprising when no one noticed how many times you snuck out for lessons and practice, or how long you were out? When you'd even forget to return to the Manor sometimes, and anyone still had yet to notice you were even gone in the first place?
... You couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped you. It was broken in every way, and yet empty all the same. Maybe you were finally taking after Bruce, but you wouldn't get your hopes up.
You looked up at the painting as if it'd give you all the answers, and yet dismiss you at the same time. The disappointment you felt was normal to you at this point, but the aching pain that came after was always the hardest part. Yet you still stared at the painted faces as if they were your real family, and the people close to them. Looked at the calculated and skilled brush strokes as if they'd give you what your family couldn't. What they refused to give you at every twist and turn, no matter how much you tried to accommodate to them. To do things for them. To just feel worthy enough to stand by their side. To be closer to them.
Though in the end, it is only that. A painting. A well crafted piece that, no matter how skilled the artist, could never truly capture how distant and vague they felt when you were the one standing to the side. No matter how much experience the painter had, they'd never be able to express and show how this poor excuse of a family felt to you, because they were only like that around you.
Maybe you'd feel special if it didn't make you feel like you were wasting your life living like this...
Eventually, you were able to tear you eyes away from the painting. The moon beginning to rise as you were sure the Manor was becoming more empty than it usually was, as more of its visitors and residents left.
The painting itself was nice even if it was one of many that didn't include you, with the number of photographs without you in them being much higher. Honestly, it used to be one of your favorites despite how bittersweet you feel about it now.
You still remember that day, but that would be implying that you forgot the others.
Regardless, you managed to pull yourself away from the spot you had been stuck in for the few moments you were trapped inside your own head. You tried to make yourself feel a little better, and give yourself some reassurance that maybe tomorrow would be different some how, and if not? Perhaps the day after, and the day after that.
Yet it all failed as you passed by more and more memories. Some were events you had participated in, sure, but the pictures made it look like you were never there in the first place. Heartwarming moments littered the halls, but you only recall seeing them from a distance â or being aware that the moment had even happened only when you saw the picture be put up.
It was like the very universe was trying to send you a sign with your constant failures and your family's persistence, intentional or not, to keep you at a distance. You didn't even know if it was appropriate to refer to them as your 'family', and maybe it wasn't considering things, but you still weren't sure.
You had been fighting for a chance to talk with any of them about anything at all for the longest time, because you wanted to be a part of this family. You wanted to spend time with them and really give this 'new life' of yours a chance, but now that 'new' part of this life had worn off. It was hard and honestly more draining than it was rewarding at this point, but you still wanted to give it a try.
Sure, it had been years at this point and now you were just about to go into college, and when you had first arrived here you weren't even middle school, yet little to no progress had been made â you never gave up. You haven't given up. So maybe you could try for a little longer? Just... a little bit, not too much this time, and figure something out?
You almost felt a little sense of hope return to you, no matter how redundant and helpless this situation felt and seemed. Yet it all came crumbling down again when you passed by one of the rooms, and saw something taped to the door.
It was a flier for your performance. One that would be happening soon.
Since your siblings began to pay less and less attention to you as time went on, with your conversations with them growing even shorter, you opted to just tape fliers of your upcoming performances on their doors. Though only the performances you'd thought they'd enjoy, and just hoped that they would show up, if they wanted to, when you stepped onto that stage and approached the instrument you'd be playing for the evening.
You tried texting and other forms of communication at first, but those quickly stopped working and so you just opted for this, and of course it was just as effective as the others.
Alfred was really the only one who listened to your music when you performed, and you only knew that because you caught him playing one of the live performances you had done on the television one day. He not only going out of his way to record the performance, but also trying to find the channel it was broadcasted on.
Ever since you've tried to give him the correct channel number when you do live performances, but that still didn't feel like enough. You loved and appreciated Alfred from the depths of your heart and soul, but what would it take for one of your siblings or close family friends to notice you like that? What would it take for your supposed father to even care to listen to your music? To watch a performance? To not turn you away?
It was only in that moment did a new emotion fuel you. Crawling it's way up your spine as you carefully took the flier in your hands, looking it over before ripping it off the door.
This. This one small thing was all you wanted from them. Over everything else, you just wanted to see one of their faces, one time when you looked out to the crowd when you performed â but every single time, all you saw were strangers.
Every charity event, every gala, every party- that's all you were surrounded by, strangers. Even when you caught small glimpses of them, they were always doing something else, and completely off in a totally different world than your own. That distance along creating a large void-like gap between you and them, and yet it only ever continued to grow. Even when they stood next to you, it was like you couldn't be further apart.
The reality of everything was crushing. Near deadly as you could feel your chest and lungs tighten, with your fingers digging into the paper enough to tear it apart, and reaching your palms as they formed crescent moons, soon drawing blood. Yet nothing could compare to the weight of your heart, and how heavy it felt to carry in your chest.
As you finally moved on from the door, your mind raced. Memories and flashbacks filling your head as every word and notion flashed before your eyes. Barely even paying attention to where you were going, but not caring enough to pay attention.
Every dismissal and excuse thrown your way. Every head shake and blank look. Every confused look, and realization that you were standing there the entire time. Every birthday that passed with the same wish never being granted. Every celebration spent on your own. Every message left on read. Every note ignored. Every time you were forgotten. Every time you were left behind. Every time you brought yourself home, and every time they never noticed. Every night wasted, trying to come up with different things to do only for all of them to turn out fruitless. Everyday that 'maybe' never cones true. Every time you looked out to that sea of strangers, hoping to see someone you recognized, only to find none. Every hour you wasted trying to do something for them while they never once thought of you.
Maybe you'd cry if you could. Then again, maybe not.
You already had spent too many tears over failures you recovered and grew from, and hardships you faced and fought. You've already cried just a little too much during those night you just couldn't handle being so alone, in such a big place anymore. Besides, you've cried enough over people who've never once thought of you. Who never once tried to make time to even see one of your performances, or even allow you to spend a few minutes in their space.
You've given them enough, you think. Especially since after you spent years trying to just make it two thirds of the way â they couldn't even reach that one third of the gap you couldn't. They didn't even try, at least not anymore, and after you had tried to make it easy. Yet, you only hurt yourself in the end.
They never cared about you, and maybe they did once upon a time, but good does that do now when you're trying to go out of your way to make things convenient and easier for them, only for them to skip out on you anyway. No text, no call, no message, no indication, nothing. Just pure silence.
Maybe you were asking for too much, but was it really so bad to want to be loved? And by the people who are supposed to be your family no less?
Hah, who are you kidding at this point. You've just been living in a house full of strangers, and you're the only one who hasn't seen it yet. They've already long since cast you out, and it's only now have you come to truly realize it.
Especially now, as you stand in front of the foot of the door to the music room. Staring at the knob as if it'll turn itself.
You weren't surprised, honestly. Playing music had quickly become an amazing outlet for you, and you had always come here to seek out what little your family couldn't give you; comfort. So it was no wonder that as you collapsed mentally, you had subconsciously brought yourself here.
And yet, only one thought entered your head in that moment.
'They don't deserve to hear my music.'
Perhaps it was now that you decided they had lost the privilege to do so. After all, ever since you had started having performances, even ones in front of wealthy crowds, your 'family' had seemingly been avoiding them like the plague. Never daring to even attend one, for whatever reason, and sure you could understand why they didn't attend the ones you performed at night â but they couldn't use that excuse anymore. You have strictly been playing during the after noon, and at sunset at a push, for over three years now. You've been playing in front of crowds and releasing music for four.
So, you turned away, walking off to your room as your thoughts still stormed. Anger fueling you as you barely remembered storming into your room, collecting any valuables and belongings you had and stuffing them into a bag or two. Not caring about clothes, and only what you deemed important and meaningful to yourself as you just grabbed and shoved everything into a bag if you could.
You could clearly tell now that you obviously weren't wanted, and that no one here even wanted to do the smallest things with you. That even asking to just spend a few minutes with them was too much. So you were doing the only sensible thing, and getting the hell out of here. Moving so quickly that your breathing became uneven, but you didn't stop until you had packed everything you needed, or was important to you in some way.
You only really had a second thought about all this when you were at your window, just about ready to jump out until you paused for a second.
Looking back at the door to your room, you couldn't help but hesitate. There was only ever one person in this entire Manor who treated you like family, and actually put in effort to not only be with you, but to indulge themself in your passion. That met you at the half way mark, and even went a little over sometimes. Since even if everyone else had ignored you â Alfed was there, even if despite all of his efforts you still couldnât handle this, and maybe that was also your own fault in some way.
You still didn't want to stay, you couldn't anymore, but shouldn't you at least say goodbye? Maybe? After everything... at least he tried.
...
You settled for second best.
Quickly, you grabbed a flashcard and wrote down something before pocketing it and moving back to the window. You may not have any equipment for this kind of thing, but you still managed to scale and work your way around the wall, and managed to reach the window to Alfred's room.
You took a little peak inside, and when you saw that he wasn't there, you opened up the window just a bit, place the small note on the windowsill, and closed it. Then, you skillfully and carefully made your way down, and snuck off to Gotham City. Making your way to a friend's place as you crashed there for the night.
Never once did you look back.
Nor did you ever feel inclined to.
------
Later that night, when Alfred read the note, all it said was:
I'm sorry, Alfed. - Y/n
Just with that alone, it was like he understood everything despite the little that was said. All he could wish you was luck, and that you'd be safe wherever you went.
Suddenly, just like that. The nights where melodies would lull the residence of the Manor to sleep, and bring a temporary, mellow peace to all who heard such a tune, were long gone...
Guess they'll just have to find it, and bring it back.
--------
Kind of rushed at the end there, hope it isn't too bad for a first post. There's probably a lot of mistakes, so apologies for that.
#this was all written in one go#so that's fun#more angst than anything honestly#not really any yan but it is supposed to be for yan stuff#platonic yandere batfam#yandere batfam#yandere dc#yandere x gn reader#gn reader#platonic yandere#neglected reader#sibling reader#reader tries too hard and does their best but finds out it isn't enough#some things just aren't meant to be#but that doesn't mean they get to run around scott free either#not series
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Heyyy there! I really (like really) love your writing!!! It makes my day when I see you've posted a fic! I was wondering if I could request one either with doc!remus or emtxmaradeurs where the reader is very sick and kinda out of it and she's taken care of. Like maybe he/them asking her 'are you with me/us' becuase it looks like you're going to pass out. If you've written something like this before my apologies. Have a great day!!!
Thanks lovely, hope you have a great day as well!
emt!marauders x fem!reader ⥠670 words
When Remus and James get home from their shift, they find you and Sirius curled up on the couch, you with a mug of what appears to be noodle soup steaming in your hands. Youâre taking sips of it like itâs tea.Â
âHello,â says Remus, perching on the armrest to peck his boyfriend on the head. âYou two arenât where we left you.âÂ
âOne can only lie around in bed for so many hours,â Sirius replies, tilting his head back for a real kiss. Remus gives him one, and Sirius takes another for himself. âIâm very entertaining, but after a while we both needed a change of scenery.âÂ
âAnd why is our girl drinking soup like a warm beverage?â James directs the question towards you, but you donât seem to notice. After a moment, Sirius answers for you.Â
âShe wasnât doing very well with the spoon, and though I made some excellent points about how romantic itâd be, she wouldnât let me feed it to her.â Sirius grins salaciously at you. You offer only a faint smile in return, and he squishes your thigh in his hand teasingly. âEventually we had to compromise on a more innovative solution.âÂ
âI see.â James ducks his head, finding his way into your field of vision. âSweetheart,â he says carefully, âare you with us?âÂ
You blink. Your eyes look fever glazed. âYeah.â You match his gentle tone. âHi.âÂ
He smiles softly. âHey there. You seemed a bit far away, mâlove.âÂ
âSheâs only tired.â Sirius kisses the side of your head. âWeâve just had a nap.â
âOh, must be nice,â James jokes. You smile in response.Â
Remus frowns pensively as he plays with Siriusâ hair where itâs draped over the edge of the couch. It spills through his fingers like stygian water. âWhatâs her fever at?â he asks.Â
âItâs coming down.â Sirius nods to the fever reducers sitting next to a half-empty bottle of cough syrup on the coffee table. âWeâre working on it.âÂ
âWhat was it last you checked?â James presses, but Remus has already picked up the thermometer. He murmurs a quiet direction to you as he nestles it in your ear.
âHer coughâs gotten a lot better, too, if you havenât noticed,â Sirius says proudly. âRight, babydoll? We havenât been having many problems since the last time she had medicine.âÂ
Thatâs not saying much, James thinks as he looks around. There are still wadded up tissues strewn about the coffee table, enough that he wonders whether one of them ought to go buy more before you all get ready for bed, and even if your cough has abated the scrape of your voice indicates your throat still feels like youâve swallowed knives.Â
Still, he tries to sound upbeat as he says, âYeah? Thatâs great,â and kisses your shoulder lightly.Â
âI can see why youâre so tired,â Remus says. The thermometer beeps, and his brow pinches sympathetically as he reads the screen. âThat nap was the first good sleep youâve had in a while, hm, dovey?âÂ
âYeah,â you say, your voice a thin rasp. âI still have to turn over every now and then when my nose clogs up, though.âÂ
âPoor love,â James coos, kissing your shoulder again. âIâm about to have a shower, would you want to sit in the bathroom with me and see if the steam does anything? I could use the company.âÂ
âThatâs a good idea,â Remus agrees. âAfter youâve finished your soup, though.âÂ
You give James a sweet, thoughtful look. âThat would be nice,â you say. The sound of your voice makes him want to burst into tears. âThank you guys for taking care of me.âÂ
Sirius makes an indignant squawking sound. âUm, thatâs actually been me, in case youâve forgotten. These two only just got here.âÂ
âSorry.â You crack a smile, sleepy but real, and lean your head on Siriusâ shoulder. âThank you the most.âÂ
He hums, quickly pacified, and lets his head rest atop yours. âApology accepted. Luckily for you, I actually quite enjoy it.â
#emt!marauders#emt!marauders x reader#marauders au#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x self insert#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders fanfic#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders hurt/comfort#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders scenario#poly!marauders drabble#poly!marauders blurb#poly!marauders one shot#poly!marauders oneshot#james potter#james potter x reader#siruis black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders
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The Court Jester Part 1
Yandere Batfam x GN Reader
Pt. 2, Pt. 3
"How did this happen?" the man who claimed to be my father asked.
"It started when I was young. My mother was close friends with Bruce Wayne. So when she died, he decided to take me in. Looking back on it now, I can tell it was just so he could have a piece of her even though she was gone. He, like many other men were infatuated with the idea of her and what could happen if they had her. That is how I came along. Someone couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Nobody, but my father knows that they are my father. We have tried finding him before, but there has been no luck.
I was 4 when I was brought to the manor. Bruce, overwhelmed with anguish, couldn't even look at me as I had my mother's features. Alfred showed me around. I even got to meet my new brother Richard, better known as Dick. An accurate nickname because as soon as he met me, he decided he did not want to be around me. That was fine. I was still dealing with the loss of my mother. As time went on, I felt as if I was forgotten. Bruce was busy throwing himself into "work" and he only needed Dicks help. It didn't take me long to figure out who he was. With all the bruises and tension around the house when things got bad in Gotham anyone living in that house could tell he was Batman. He had claimed he didn't want me to get hurt that's why he never asked for help but I knew it was because I looked like mom. I had her (h/c) (h/t) hair and her (e/c) eyes.
A couple of years later, a new boy came into the mix. His name was Jason Todd. He was okay. He didn't really know when to stop, though. I heard a lot of fights between him and Bruce. He talked to me sometimes when we had time. I was in school getting good grades and he was a Robin so we didn't have much time for each other. But then he died, and I had no one again. Even when he did come back, he came back changed he no longer cared for me. He was harsh. Ruined.
Then there was Tim Drake. He was really nice at the beginning, but he got busy and sleep deprived, so I stopped reaching out. I didn't want to take up his time as he had an actual job.
Then Stephanie Brown came, and I realized that there was a pattern. These people were too busy for me. I should stay out of their way and not be a burden as I have proven to be before.
It was like that until Damian came. He was unlike all the other Robins. He was mean and brutal. It was around this time that I started to reach out to the family. I had realized I had severe depression and self esteem issue from being the only one in this family that did not excel at anything. When I reached out, he was the one who but me back in my place. He was the one who told me to stay in the background where I belonged. And I might have if I was still the child that came here unwillingly at 3 years old, but I am no longer that child. I am an adult who has a degree in psychology and has a stable job. So I left.
When I first moved out, the first person I told was my online friend. I had been in contact with him since I was 5. He was like a father to me. He was very happy for me and told me, "You are finally free from that dreadful house!" and I couldn't agree more. I stayed in contact with him over the years, and our bond strengthened.
Then, one day, not even a month after I left the manor, he asked to meet up. I agreed. We met up at an abandoned wearhouse. He had told me he was a wanted man, so I did not mind. When I saw him, my face lit up as did his. We talked about a lot of things that night. One of which was if I wanted to help him in his endeavor. Chaos. And I gladly agreed as I would do anything for him as he was my father.
He soon started training me. Making sure I could deal with pain and know how to fight. The first week was agony, but then we both realized something. No matter how badly I was injured, it never had reproductions as the injuries would heal almost supernaturally. So soon, we started experimenting. Of course, I still felt pain, but anything for my dad. We found that no matter what happened to me, I couldn't die.
Then, I became strong enough to take part in one of his acts. Which leads us to now. Dies that answer your question?" I say, looking into the desperate eyes of The Batman with an elongated smile. Glee shined in my eyes as I finally had his attention.
"But SHHHH dad doesn't want to know your secret identity! Says it would ruin all the fun!" I proclaim. My teeth are fully showing as I giggle.
"What did I do wrong?" Bruce whispers to himself. As if he didn't already know. This was all his fault, and now the last piece he had of (M/N) was out of reach.
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Hello!! This is my first time writing on Tumbler and just wanted to say Hi. Please let me know if you want this to continue. If it does, updates would probably be slow as I am in college and am using this as an artistic outlet. Thank you so much for reading!!
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Do you think in the N2 Squad, Jamil will just randomly get a burst of confidence and flirt with Leona and Vil, just for them to turn it around on him and he then gets so flustered he enters Caterpillar Modeâąïž (pulls his hood over his face) for a solid hour?
I kept this one in my asks for a long time coz, while I thought it was a good ask and wanted to draw something for it, I am also plagued with the terrible curse of being both aromantic and autistic and struggling a lot with the very concept of ~*flirting*~
So first, gonna thank @aria-faye and @the-fab-fox for their insights and having the patience to explain to me the big strokes of flirting.
And now, I'm gonna quote aria-faye word for word cause he explained Jamil's flirting perfectly well in my opinion :
"I feel like Jamil is just... bad at flirting. He can tease and joke and all that, but when he's doing it with the intention of flirtation, i feel like he stumbles. His version of intentional flirting would probably be just... being overly straightforward. Saying what he's thinking for once."
"I feel like Jamil isn't very charismatic when it comes to flirting, so he isn't saying it [compliments] in any sort of way. Just pointing out a fact, which, to him, is flirting. Because it's not something he'd normally say aloud."
"Here's the thing: I think if they played the flirting game, and if Jamil said something intentionally over-the-top, teasing flirtatious, they [Leona and Vil] would match his energy and do it right back. BUT Jamil would be equipped to volley that back over and over. It's not flirtation that gets him. There's an element of disingenuous in flirting. It's all exaggerated, a bit untrue. It's an act - a mutually agreed-upon act that everyone in the group enjoys, but an act nonetheless. And Jamil is EXCELLENT at acts. He's no blushing flower when it comes to flirting. He would take that stuff all the way to bed if that's where it led him. But compliments? He has no idea how to take compliments. He has such a low opinion of himself for so long that he never learned. Compliments are what make him blush. Not flirting."
"Like, Leona could be like 'Damn Baby, what does that tongue do?' And Jamil would immediately respond by purring 'Come here and find out.' But Leona being like 'You look beautiful today' would have Jamil like "Oh, um. *blushes, pulls hood over his head* Thanks, I guess.'"
"I think something else that would get him flustered is physical affection. Like he gets all hyped up to shakily hold their hands, and they immediately respond by kissing his cheeks and being sweet to him. That would make him blushy too."
"Flirting is basically just manipulation. Jamil knows how to do that. He's really good at that. It might surprise him at first, but if he's the one initiating, he wouldn't do it unless he knew exactly what he was doing. Flirting for real is kind of fake. A teasing dance you do to get to a more intimate set of behaviors. And Jamil is great at this kind of thing. There are a thousand ways to make him blushy if he's not initiating. But if he's initiating, that implies a level of confidence, so the options for making him blushy circles right back around to honesty."
"Leona and Vil flirt by antagonising each other, so it might take them a second to realize that whenever Jamil drops an Honesty Bomb on them like this and speaks plainly, he's flirting. But once they know, Jamil will never know peace again, because they turn it right back on him and compliment him honestly until he's curled up and hiding in his hood and begging them to stop."
(Yes we had a very long discussion about it x))
#(obviously Jamil's reaction is exaggerated for comedic purposes)#(while he would turn beet red and attempt to hide he wouldn't go that far)#(probably)#anyway uuuuuuuh please don't ask me about their flirting again#i'm terrible at it#there's a reason most of my fics are found family and not romances#mello's drawings#twst#twisted wonderland#n2 squad#jamil viper#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#javil#leojami#leovil#ask me anything#analysis#art#my art
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