#I actually spent most of today looking up all these cats and saving pics

[best-fictional-cat]

Did the loftcats from skyward sword happen to make it in? I love those little dudes. It's no problem if they didn't I know you got a lot of submissions of very good cats 🐈

It's these guys, right?

They're currently in the "maybe" category along with some other suggested, but their fate should be decided fairly soon :)

[grumpygreenwitch]

Summer Gardening.

So it’s been a while, and for that I apologize to the... 200+ people who follow me. I’m sure y’all are here for the cat pics and the nekked men, but TOO BAD. Today you get to suffer through pics of my green children. Also, I do share seed. My seed list link will be up later in the year. To begin with, the summer flowers are out en force:

Echinacea Purpurea, the original echinacea. I do save yearly seed from these guys, although it’s an incredibly pointy, stabby and bleed-y job. 

Mountain Phlox. Unfortunately, all of it around the house is afflicted with powdery mildew, so I will not share seed. But it’s still pretty to look at, and the clearwings (hummingbird moths) love it. Not pictured is the white variant, who grows on the other side of the house. Look, it was hot and I was already melting.

Peppermint Balsam. This thing is basically indestructible, for an annual. It will reseed freely (to truly Lovecraftian levels) and blooms continuously from late spring until mid-fall, when the seed-pods set. There is a dormant genetic in it for double flowers, but when it pops up it’s always been sterile. It just pops up occasionally from the peppermint seed.

I may give the roommate hell over the hostas (I hate them. They’re so useful to protect toads and control weeds, but I hate them), but they do put out pretty flowers. There are several variants around the house - white-edged, blue and green, but hostas in general are very, very hard to start from seed. I will save it on request, only. We were also incredibly lucky to have a Moth Mullein sprout in our porch bed, along with some Variegated Solomon’s Seal.The SS doesn’t put out seeds, and I don’t have enough to share bulbs (yet), but the mullein has been exceptionally generous with seed pods, and it repels bugs. It repels ROACHES. It’s going everywhere. And I may be convinced to part with some seed.

Onward!

A view from a hill. Can you see the garden? That’s OK, I can’t either. Those are peach trees, on the side of the orchard closest to the house. Unfortunately a freak storm during early spring killed all the blossoms. Also, don’t mistake ‘orchard’ for ‘organized’. There’s a pear, some apples, a plum, some nectarines? And front and center are two walnuts. I’ll probably be plunking my laurel there to see if it survives winter. And someday when I have a job and money again, I would like to drop a few Chicago Hardy figs, and maybe a kiwi trellis.

This is the big garden (and fortunately not my responsibility, or I would cry). The guys are ‘handling’ it. The weeds say otherwise.

The jasmine tree and the roommate’s garden. Because of a bad back injury that refuses to heal, I’ve been helping them on and off with it. And if you thought jasmine was supposed to stay a delightful little bush, AHAHAHAHAH. Yes, that’s a light-post next to it. For size comparison.

MY CHILDREN. Please ignore the dead soccer ball. That’d be a dog toy.

Lemon balm, amaranth, and a new bed that I’ll be finishing off during fall, for use next year. The lemon balm is a permanent row - it will overwinter just fine, and it will even keep growing through the mildest part of December. Mine didn’t die back until a few solid days of sleet in January. Unfortunately the weed fabric under the amaranth turned out to be an old roll, and fell apart on me (no big, the whole point is for it to fall apart eventually), so the weeds have kinda eaten it alive.

Unfortunately, both cucumber beetles and blister beetles love the amaranth. Fortunately, it does not seem to give a damn. It’s an incredibly resilient plant, not minding weeds, bugs, flood or drought. We’ll see what the grain actually tastes like, but so far it’s looking like a good candidate for continuous growing.

The lemon balm is lemon-balming. Planted on a lark, it’s proven to be a fantastic wind-breaker - because it grows so early and so quick, it keeps the colder winds that come down through the hollow from my more fragile seedlings, like the lettuce, dill and cilantro. You can see here where the spent flower-heads are dying but there’s new growth underneath; I really have to get in there and behead it. It makes nice hot tea, meh cold tea, and hanging fresh bunches of it around the balcony keeps the skeeters off. It also seems to be a decoy for cabbage moths.

Canary Zinnia. The seed was sent to me as a gift with one of my seed orders, and this is my first year growing it. -If- I can save some, I’ll definitely be sharing and growing again. It’s a lovely plant, very sturdy, and the bees love it.

Dwarf Castor Oil. I don’t think there’s anything dwarf about it, but then I’m a short green witch myself, so maybe it’s all about perspective. Don’t let the pods lie to you, until they dry the spikes are relatively soft. However, it being castor oil, I don’t recommend it to anyone with ducks, chickens, goats, or anything that might accidentally try talking a nibble or pecking at the beans. I do, however, recommend them from jewelry if you know how to pierce things and so on. They are a gorgeous tiger-stripe pattern.

Say hello to the chard! Say goodbye to the chard! Nothing else, absolutely nothing else since the limas, has given me so much trouble. The deer love getting into my chard bed and destroying it (ergo all the forks). And once I managed to chase those off, the blister beetles showed up in force. This will be the last year I grow it - we just don’t eat enough of it to make it worth my while, and it only occasionally sold at the Farmers’ Market.

Red lettuce - Merlot and Lollo Vino, a combination of bought and saved seed. I planted a red romaine of some sort, too, but unsurprisingly it bolted in the heat. The darker reds of my favorites, though, keep bugs off them, keep deer from noticing them, and keep them from bolting. It’s just now threatening to, and at this point its kind of allowed. I need more seed for next year. Seed for this will likely be shared by the teaspoon-ful.

Calendula! I searched for a long time to find the plain ol’ calendula officinalis ancestor, rather than a cultivar where I would have no way of knowing if the medicinal principles would have been sacrificed for looks. It’s supposed to work well as poor man’s saffron (color, no taste), and I’m going to be soaking the heck outta my feet on it during winter. The plant is... not pretty. It gets leggy and the leaves get grotty very quickly. But it’s very sturdy and as long as you cut the flowerheads off as fast as you can, it’ll keep blooming until well into winter. I usually leave it to go to seed around late September.

Green cilantro seeds. You pick ‘em when they’re brown, but before they drop off the plant. Or you pick ‘em when they’re brown-ing, and put them in a paper bag so they’ll finish ripening there and you don’t end up with fifty wild cilantro plants in your garden >_> Most of the row is already gone, and I’ll be putting in a late dill crop in its place. No such thing as too  much dill!

Don’t let lemongrass lie to you. Unless you tie it up, it will not grow up neat and tidy, as most grass does. Instead it will sprawl like a dramatic wilting Elizabethan lady and do its best to end up under your feet so you’ll feel bad about it. I just tie it up with a half-blade of grass; it dries up and withers away before it can hurt the plant.

I ordered pennyroyal seed because... Well, because it’s something one should have on hand, considering the way the world is going. What I got was Creeping Pennyroyal, which doesn’t care if you step on it (mint family), smells absolutely delightful, and has the most adorable, tiny purple flowers. I plan on harvesting, drying and sprinkling it everywhere in the crawlspace under the house. Making war on cave crickets, wood roaches, and other such sundries, me.

The thyme and Spicy Oregano took a beating in the heat, but they’re slowly bouncing back. The bed behind them is more pennyroyal, desperately in need of weeding, but there’s only one of me, y’know.

SIGH. Just. You absolute, ill-mannered monster of a creature. That would be horseradish, gloriously happy to be alive, as horseradish should be. Also, NOT IN ITS BASKET. Because never mind the rules, I guess.

I don’t even know how I’m gonna dig that up come winter. With some construction equipment, I GUESS. 

Decorative gourd! It’s the only one producing so far, but being the seed was 10+ years old, I’m very pleased.

And an apple gourd (I think?), from a mixture of drying gourds that was only slightly less ancient. Snake, apple and birdhouse gourds. There’s a bunch of them competing in the basket at this point, we’ll see what we will see.

And this, I think, is a great use of a dead canopy frame (the dogs ate the canopy. No, I’m not making it up.) I hope to coax the gourds to grow me a lil’ roof so I can sit in shade, surrounded by pennyroyal anti-skeeter barriers, eating my maters.

My Peter Peppers (nrehehehehe) aren’t producing yet - it takes them a while. But my Chinese 5-Color are getting started. It’s a lovely pepper, both edible and ornamental, with (so I’m told) about four times the heat of a Jalapeno. They’re tiny, with deep purple undertones to the plant. They’ll go purple-white-yellow-orange-red.

The bullhorns, on the other hand, are fairly sizable SWEET peppers on very tiny plants, and I honestly suggest staking them while they’re young so they grow a sturdy trunk, else you might end up with all of them growing at a slant.They’re just now beginning to turn colors. Keeping in mind I’m virulently allergic to peppers (less so sweet than hot, but allergic to all of them), the roommate loves ‘em.

It’s a small pepper bed - mainly to refresh my seed on the hots, and to grow sweets for the roommate. Pardon the nekked bed, the autumn lettuce hasn’t sprouted yet. And yes, that’s a mixed basil/dill bed next to it. My basil grew in patchy holes (NEVER buying from those seed people again), so I filled the holes with dill. Unfortunately, dill seed heads are so fine that they’re hard to photograph well.

The tomato row. After arguing with them for this long, I went the extra mile. Every plant has a metal stake. There’s also a double line growing at the top supporting the stakes so they don’t fall over. And they still fell over. Because why not, you unruly children, why not.

Green, white, pink and brown cherry tomatoes. Delicious!

Two kinds of cucumbers, some of the only decent shots of the dill seed-heads, and a special guest hiding in the shade. I usually plant dill as soon as the cucumber sprouts, to keep cucumber beetles off it. Otherwise I’d have no cucumbers and a lot of fat beetles.

The Muncher is a small cucumber, somewhat delicate. It’s very sensitive to temperature changes, and it’s candy to cucumber beetles - basically, it’s impossible to grow it without a heavy curtain of dill, or a heavy duty decoy. This year I got lucky enough to have both. It’s also delicious pickled, keeping its crunch and getting a good ooomph in flavor.

The Japanese Long is, as the name implies, long. It’s also incredibly bitey, and absolutely scrumptious. It’s sweet! And unlike the average cucumber, it does not go metallic when salted.

And now for the SPECIAL CHILD OF MY HEART. Seriously. I have been lusting after Blue Tea Peas since I first saw them offered, and every single time they’d be sold out pretty much the day of. This year I finally got some and... remember me mentioning that freak freeze that killed the peach blossoms? Yeah. Guess what it also killed. But two plants soldiered on. I have them heavily shielded by the cucumbers, dill and chamomile, and really I have no words for the blue. Pics don’t do it justice. I won’t have the tea this year, I’m saving as much seed as I can, but I am so pleased to have it at all!

 Last, but not least, and it’s a poor shot of it, the chamomile. I cannot drink chamomile to sleep - it does put me to sleep, but it also gives me bad dreams. I plan on using it as a skin wash for all the bug bites, along with the calendula, and to give me some respite from dry skin during winter.

Stay green! See you in fall! Now back to our normal schedule of frogs, cats and nekked men!

[lordseochangbin]

paparazzi,, lee minho

i'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me, papa-paparazzi~~

“hey minho, look at this!!” chan said from the backseat, phone flashing on minho’s face as his eyes filled with amazement

“woah, that’s such a cool photo of you hyung” felix said, followed by changbin’s agreement

“you have such good fansites, not like they could top mine though” chan said as minho scoffed, “nahh, i love my fans” 

little did he know he’d fall in love with one of them though. the van door opened to flashes and yells of the idol’s names. you in the front of all of them, holding your camera in front of your masked face. he recognized your camera instantly, giving your lens... or i suppose your eyes a quick smile before walking out with the rest of the members to the airport. 

you, along with many others, followed them inside. you gave them the respected privacy however, not taking photos when they weren’t ready or when they were dealing with their managers/airport staff. but at one point you went from the back to the front of the crowd, the swam of people carrying you with stray kids as they walked ahead. minho, concerned for your own being, grabbed your hand taking you away from the crowd. 

“are you okay?” he said, concern clear in his voice

“i-i-im” you stuttered as his eyes seemed to glow with the reflection of the airport windows. his eyes blinked in anticipation of your answer, but after hearing nothing he gave your hand a big squeeze and let you go. after the awkward contact and security pushing the two of you further apart, you ran away- earning the attention of lee minho from stray kids.

after you hid behind a pedestal, hand clung onto your chest to slow the heartbeats that attacked you with rapid fire. his eyes... they never felt so close to you. even through the pictures that you’d taken and stared at for years. they felt so up close and personal.

after awhile the constant thumps in your little heart started to slow down, and you joined the rest of the crowd to take some more shots since you missed the opportunity to earlier while... while trying to save yourself from a heart attack. 

but you couldn’t find the crowd. 

you found stray kids however, taking a deep breath of relief to see minho not there. if he was, you might’ve found yourself having a stroke or something. his looks were too powerful for you, always forcing you to hid behind the lens he always knew, and the eyes he could never see stayed hidden behind technology at its finest. he knew you were the magic behind his best photos, ones not even the professionals couldn’t take. you captured the real him, the real lee minho. the one that loved cats, that loved to read, and loved to eat well. 

you grabbed your camera, that had a cat cover. its ears on top of the screen stood up as you scrolled through the photos you’d taken earlier.

“woah.. that one looks good, think you can send it to me?” you heard a voice call from behind your shoulder. a quick turn led you to meet his eyes once again, a yelp leaving your lips as you attempted to move your mask up.

“dont cover your face!” he said, holding your hand. 

“minho!” your cheeks blushed red as his fingers intertwined with your hand. 

“i think i deserve those pictures right? do you mind sending them to me?” 

you nodded in response, minho taking his phone out. “what’s your number?” he said, a hand brushing through his ash grey hair

“m-my number” you said, your mouth dropping as one of your fingers pointed to yourself for confirmation. 

“yes you, what’s your number” he repeated with a smiling, nudging your shoulder with his to get a response. 

after giving him your number, trying so hard to say spill the digits without stuttering you took out your phone to transfer photos

“you know, i always notice you from the little cat cover. its so adorable” he said, touching the cotton cat ears the covered your lens.

suddenly his eyes diverted to your phone case, the same orange cat covering the back as he took his phone out. “the same case!! it’s almost like we’re dating!!” he said, followed by one of his little giggles as you smiled

“shut up!!” you said, slapping his shoulder

“okay but you have to give me those photos. your shots of me are amazing!”

“thank you..” you said after all the praise. seconds later, minho was being called by one of the managers. “i have to go..but youre coming to the concert right?!” he said, talking and walking away 

you took your flight ticket out of your hand waving it at him, along with front row seat tickets and a smile. “see you there minho!!” you said

“see you there, beautiful” he responded, making your chest feel heavy and your eyes fill with stars while he ran to meet with the others.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

me: *insert 7 photos*

minho hyung: thank you!! i cant wait to see your pics from the concert!!

me: cant wait to see you perform haha

minho hyung: also curious,, what does your fansite name mean?? “eyes of our own??”

me: hmmm im not sureㅋㅋㅋ

minho hyung: there has to be some sort of story behind it,, tell meeeeee

me: fine fine, i just like to feel like one with the camera i suppose

minho hyung: you mean you like to always be behind one?

me: nooooo i just like to see you through one, i never thought we’d make eye contact like before hehe

minho hyung: you look so much prettier in person though  ㅋㅋㅋ

me: nooo!!! thats all you minho hyung hehehe

minho hyung: next time we meet, make sure to speak comfortably

me: will there be a next time?

minho hyung: ill make sure of it, good night “eyes of our own”

me: good night, make sure to eat well before the concert

minho hyung: you tooo :)))

---------------------------------------------------------------------

after the concert the next night, you waited inside the venue to look through your photos and avoid the crowd. but instead you were met by security, rushing you backstage to meet with minho.

“hey!” minho said, seating you down on the couch behind the makeup room

“hey minho, you did amazing during the concert” you said, feeling his gaze relax at the sound of your voice. it was amazing, he thought, how your voice cooled him down. how your lens made him confident. how your eyes made his heart beat faster than the most intense choreography. but he shook his head to the thought of your relationship. you probably thought of your relationship as a fan-idol type of thing, no matter how comfortable you felt at the moment. but that wasn’t the case. 

“thank you,, what photos did you take of me today?” he asked.

“oh my god, you wont believe the good shots i got of you today!!” you scooted closer to him, your shoulders brushing against each other making minho’s cheekies turn pink. you threw the camera into your arms, “so there was this one.... and this one... oh my god and you look SO good in this one”

but minho wasn’t even paying attention to his photos. he had all eyes on you, the way your eyes glowed as another photo filled the screen. the smile that stretched across your face as you proudly stared at your photos of him. of him, lee minho. a girl as gorgeous and intelligent as yourself spent your time taking photos of him. he felt like the luckiest man on earth. 

“wow and your voice during mixtape was.. *chefs kiss*” you said, smiling shyly to yourself before realizing he wasn’t responding this whole time. you turned quickly to make eye contact again, only to see that he was looking at you. “what is it?” you said, touching your cheeks. “is there something there?!” you continued, wide-eyed as he slowly came closer to you

“are you actually interested in me?” he asked, voice soft and curious. this question took you by surprise.

“minho, my hobby is taking photos of you. id be wack to say i wasnt” you replied with a laugh.

“i mean, the real me”

“the real you?” you nervously placed a hand on his leg. “i’ve yet to know the real you if anything. it’s not like i know you inside out because i follow you everywhere”

“sooo....” he said, his eyebrows dancing as his hand joined yours, “you want to get to know me?” 

“of course i do minho, you seem like an amazing person to be around”

and at that, he felt invited to give you a light peck on the lips. it was like a soft touch, making your body tingle with reds and blues as he slowly let go. his eyes were still shut from the lust, but you felt your hands unconsciously wrap around his neck. your legs straddled his waist you pressed your lips against his, his grip tightening around your waist. and it was kisses after kisses after kisses. 

he licked his lips as you slowly let go, forming an unforgettable smile as the camera in between you two was pushed aside. 

“forget the camera love, lens cant capture a moment like this” he said before pulling you into a warm hug. and that was how you fell in love with your idol. the boy you committed your time to with no regrets, and from now you were able to capture him on stage and off stage. not only with your camera lens, but with the eyes of your own. 

[idiot-extraordinaire]

We Could Happen

Summary:

AU. The last thing Santana Lopez expects when her best friend asks her to cat-sit is to find something with the blonde in apartment 1812.

Title after the AJ Rafael song.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13667414/1/We-Could-Happen https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812445

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Santana Lopez is not what you would call a "pet person".

Her experience with pets involved a goldfish when she was five, who didn't last till the end of the month, a pregnant hamster that gave birth, ate it's young and promptly died a few days later when she was eight and the neighbour's pitbull, who had a habit of standing with it's head over the fence and barking loudly as it jumped up and down, terrifying her every time she walked home from the bus stop.

There was also her cousin's cat, who managed to scratch up her furniture the weekend she agreed to cat-sit and the parrot her ex-girlfriend had that flew out of its cage and pooped on her favorite leather jacket, so yeah.

Santana didn't hate animals, but she did prefer that she not be in close proximity with them for extended periods of time. She much preferred the pictures of puppies and kittens that circulated on Instagram than actually having to be near one. It was perfect, all cute and no responsibility.

Which is why she almost strangled Quinn when her best friend informed her she was going to be leaving her cat in Santana's care for the foreseeable future.

"What do you mean your cat is going to be staying with me?"

"I'm being seconded to our London office," Quinn informs her. "They said six months, but it could be up to a year. I can't take Charlie with me."

"Why can't you leave him with someone else?"

"Sam and Kurt's buildings don't allow pets."

"What about Mercedes?"

"Mercedes is going on tour in a few weeks, she can't bring him."

"Yes, she can. It'll be like part of her act."

"Santana…"

"Leave him with your mom, then!"

"Santana, I'm not flying to Lima to drop him off at my mom's, when you're perfectly capable of taking care of Charlie."

"Look Q," Santana retorted. "If I wanted to take care of a cat, I would buy a cat. But I don't want one, so Charlie will just have to find somewhere else to stay."

"Come on."

"What happens if I bring a girl over? I can't just have this cat getting all up in my business while I'm trying to get my mack on!"

"He's a cat, not a child!"

"I don't have the space."

"You live in a two bedroom apartment! You have a room for your shoes!"

"Okay, first of all, it's one and a half bedrooms!" That was true, the real-estate agent had advertised it that way, which was perfect for Santana since a "half bedroom" provided a perfect excuse to never have houseguests. "And second, it's full, so there's nowhere for him to stay."

"He doesn't need his own room," Quinn rolled her eyes. "Your place is more than big enough."

"What about someone from your office? How about Ken doll? Or what's-her-face with the ugly shoes? It won't matter if he pees in them," Santana rattles off names.

"Santana, please don't make this difficult," Quinn sighed as Santana crossed her arms over her chest, indignantly. "Don't make me call it in," she says, almost warningly.

Santana narrows her eyes. "You wouldn't."

What Quinn was referring to was the favor that Santana agreed to let her call in, one time only, no questions asked.

Over the years, Santana had gotten pretty good at letting one-night-stands know that that was exactly what it was , a one night stand. It saved a lot of confusion and hurt and awkward conversations in the morning, but once in a while, even the best could slip up.

It was a few months ago when the morning after, it became obvious that Santana's latest one-night-stand intended for their relationship to become...well, a relationship, and Santana informing her that it wasn't going to become one didn't work either.

It became painfully clear to Santana that she'd taken home a crazy person and she called Quinn, who was on her way to a big meeting. Santana had pleaded with her that it would only take five minutes and that she'd owe her huge so her friend complied.

Fifteen minutes later, Quinn showed up at Santana's apartment to play the scorned girlfriend. She went on, screaming and crying about how Santana could do this to her after they were together for five years, how awful she was for cheating (on their anniversary no less) and even threw in an "I should have listened to my mother about you!" for good measure.

She really sold it. Santana was convinced Quinn was going to slap her across the face, when she heard the front door click shut behind her and Quinn turn off the waterworks.

"There, she's gone. Now move, I need to touch up my makeup before I go to my meeting," Quinn replied nonchalantly, strolling past Santana and into the bathroom.

Quinn was only five minutes late to her meeting, but Santana had to keep her promise and officially owed Quinn one favour that she was allowed to call in at any time.

Apparently, this was it.

"You're calling in the favour over your cat?"

"Apparently, I have to," Quinn rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, before the corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk. "Which means that you really can't say no."

Santana really wanted to slap that stupid smirk off her best friend's face. But alas, a deal was a deal and she'd sealed her fate on that morning many months ago when she took home that crazy (though admittedly hot) girl who really took that U-haul stereotype to heart.

Live and learn, she figured.

And that was how Santana Lopez ended up as guardian to the calico, Charlie.

"I expect him to be in the same condition when I come back," Quinn warned her, on the day he was dropped off before his human departed for London.

"No promises, Q," Santana rolled her eyes.

"I'll call to check in."

"I'm an adult, I'll be fine without you."

"I meant on him."

"When did you turn into a crazy cat lady?" Santana cracked.

Quinn's little goodbye with her cat stretched out to twenty minutes, not including the two- hour-long orientation she gave Santana about vet appointments, shots, food, litter boxes, his pet carrier and everything in between.

When the front food shut, signalling Quinn's exit, Santana looked down at Charlie, who in turn just stared up at her and meowed.

"Ok listen, we need to get one thing clear, now that your crazy mom isn't here to save you," Santana dropped down so she was closer to eye-level with the cat. "I'll do all the vet appointments and the cat food and even emptying out your nasty-ass litter-box, but if you ever pee in one of my shoes, you are done here," she said in a low growl.

Charlie meowed again and licked his paw. Santana decided to take that as an understanding.

----------

Charlie is actually not bad. Santana won't go as far as to say she enjoys having him around, but she doesn't hate it.

He walked around the apartment like he owned the place and climbed up on the furniture, but all things considered he was pretty good. He went in his litter box and knew his feeding routine.

During the first week, Santana came home from work to find the legs of her coffee table totally scratched up. She brought out the eyesore that was his bright blue scratching post on full display in her living room so that he could use it instead, but Quinn informed her that Charlie was probably just getting antsy from being alone in the apartment all week.

Santana installed a kitty door so that he'd be free to roam about the apartment complex during the day and come home when he needed and leave her damn stuff alone. Since then, he seemed calmer when he was indoors and would take to lying on the couch next to her when she was watching TV.

So yeah. Santana figured having Charlie around wasn't the worst thing in the world.

She could, however, do without Quinn's constant need for updates on her cat. Based on her social media posts, Quinn was having the time of her life in London, meeting new people and going to new places.

However, based on her messages to Santana - it seemed less like she was a socially active woman in her twenties living it up, and more like she was a fifty year old cat-mom missing her cat-child, with nothing else to do.

[Quinn]: Did you feed him today?

[Quinn]: He likes the chicken flavour.

[Quinn]: Is he getting enough exercise?

[Quinn]: Can you send me pics of him?

[Quinn]: You're giving him baths regularly, right Satan?

[Quinn]: If anything seems wrong TAKE HIM TO THE VET

[Quinn]: How is he today?

Santana got so tired of the messages that eventually she started trolling Quinn so that the blonde would leave her alone.

[Santana]: Congrats, grandma! Charlie knocked up the neighbour's cat. You have nine of them to come home to!

[Santana]: Cats can drink scotch right? Cause I accidentally poured the wrong thing into his bowl.

[Santana]: Charlie's a persian right? Cause that's who's sitting on my couch rn.

-----------

Santana had settled into routine with her new roommate. It wasn't like she had to walk the cat or anything, so she made sure that there was food in his bowl before she left for work and he was usually home by the time she got back anyway.

In between she guessed that he was wandering the neighbourhood looking for mice or whatever it is that cats do. Whatever, he didn't touch her shoes and her furniture and frankly that was the best she could hope for.

Work on the other hand, left much to be desired.

Santana was the youngest person in management at one of the most promising new marketing and PR agencies in Los Angeles. She'd been there since interning in her senior year of college and knew the ins and outs of the business better than almost anyone. She was sharp, effective and knew how to get things done. It also meant that she spent too much time at the office.

You know what they say, if you need something done, give it to the busiest person at the office.

"Miss Lopez," her assistant, Marley, stepped into the door of her office. "The Mucusin people are here."

Mucusin was a new over-the-counter cold medicine soon to be released in stores. Santana had advised them to change the name, but they were pretty adamant about keeping it so it seemed like she was going to have her work cut out for her.

"Send them in."

-----------

So it turned out the Mucusin people were not only married to the name, but to the idea of keeping the packaging green.

Santana had to fight an eyeroll when she gave that directive to the design team to come up with a few samples incorporating that particular shade of green.

When she finally got home, she spotted Charlie, sitting on the arm of the couch, waiting for her and meowing expectantly.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get your food," she grumbled, putting her things down, opening a can of Cat Chow and emptying it into his bowl.

Once she'd fulfilled her obligation, she ordered some food for herself on her phone and headed into the shower, wishing to wash all the stress of the day off before her dinner arrived.

She eats in front of the TV, when she notices that Charlie barely touches his food. Santana squints at him. He looked... different, something was off.

She gets distracted when Real Housewives comes on.

It's probably nothing.

-----------

Santana makes a hundred cat-lady jokes at Quinn's expense before complying when Quinn asks Santana to help her face-time Charlie.

"Oh my God, Santana!"

"What?"

"Why's he so fat? What have you been feeding him?"

"I just feed him the stuff you told me to buy, it's not cheap by the way, Q," she flips the camera back around so that Quinn's facing her and not the cat. "I don't even know what the big deal is, he looks-"

Santana's about to say fine when she gets a good look at the cat for the first time in weeks. That stupid Mucusin campaign's been taking up all her attention, that she didn't even notice. Charlie's gotten fat.

"I told you, you better return him in the same condition you got him!" Quinn chastises.

"Well, I'm not returning him yet," Santana huffs. "And I didn't take you for a fat-shamer, Lucy Caboosey."

Quinn scowls at that remark. "Seriously, calicos are supposed to weigh like 7 or 8 pounds. How much does he weigh?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? He was supposed to have a vet appointment last week!"

"Yeah but I didn't finish that Mucusin campaign until yesterday. I thought it would be fine to delay it by a week."

"Satan, I swear to God-"

"I'll take him!" Santana sighs exaggeratedly. "God, the way you fuss over your cat, wouldn't it be easier to just have a child?"

"Santana-"

"It'll be fine," she eyes the cat from his place by the coffee table. "He hasn't gotten that fat has he?"

"Yes!"

-----------

Santana takes Charlie to the vet and in six weeks in her care he's managed to put on five pounds. It's not a good look.

The vet recommends some diet cat food and that Charlie get some exercise. Since he's already out the whole day, Santana buys the way too expensive diet cat food and hopes that it will fix the situation.

She's not thrilled with the idea of having to spend her weekends taking the cat for a walk.

After another week, she manages to wrestle him onto the bathroom scale for long enough to see that he's not losing weight.

The mystery of the cat's weight gain finally gains traction while she's at work and her boss, Shelby pulls her into her office.

"Cheating scandal broke today," she places a file down in front of Santana.

"What are we dealing with?"

"Throat Explosion's lead singer came down with a case of mono, gave it to his girlfriend."

"So?"

"So, the day after, the bassist comes down with a case of mono too. The girlfriend's an actress, she's getting a pretty big following and the singer's taking a lot of heat. She kicked him out."

"He slept with the bassist?"

Shelby nods. "There were rumors before, but no one ever bothered to address it, they thought it would go away."

"Well it's not going to now. What do they want us to do?"

"What do you think?" Shelby raised a brow. "PR. They need damage control."

-----------

#Monogate gave Santana the breakthrough she needed. There was a third party involved. If she wasn't making changes to his diet and he was roaming about all day, there must be an external reason as to why he was gaining weight.

It's a Saturday when Santana finally decides that today will be the day she figures out who's been fattening up the cat.

She's bought him a tracking collar which synced with her phone. She checked the record previously to see that Charlie was only really exploring the apartment complex, never straying too far away from it. So she deduces it's someone else who lives in one of the apartments.

Santana knows that she has to move fast. Despite his weight gain, Charlie could still climb high and squeeze into spaces she couldn't.

When the sneaky little bastard slipped out from his kitty door, Santana quickly followed him out, tracking his steps on the app on her phone. It led her past the courtyard and into the garden patch of the complex, just by the fountain.

She waded through various potted plants, through the small pavement path in a mostly-grass covered area. A few of the plants had grown a little too tall and wound up smacking her in the face with their leaves. Santana kept glancing at her phone to make sure she was on the right track and was validated when she heard the sound of something being set down on the concrete and a pleased meow.

She scrambled through the rest of the plants and through the clearing, finding a woman, sitting on the bench and Charlie eating from a little orange cat bowl.

"Aha!" Santana exclaimed, leaping out from the garden and accusingly pointing at the cat, who didn't seem the least bit perturbed. She did however, come face to face with an amused looking woman.

Santana had expected some sad old guy who didn't have any friends and had taken to stealing the attention of the neighbour's cat but this woman was...well, gorgeous.

"Hi," the woman greeted her, seemingly unshaken by Santana's abrupt entrance.

"Hi," Santana managed to get out. "You're...you're the one who's been feeding my cat?"

"Oh is he yours?" she asks, reaching down to pet Charlie. "He likes to stop by here."

"Yeah, I mean...sort of," Santana frowns trying to explain the situation. "He's not mine, but he's in my care."

"Are you sure? Are you sure you're not a catnapper?"

Santana is partially amused but also a little offended. "Of course not! How can you accuse me of being a catnapper when you're the one feeding other people's pets?"

The woman frowns. "Feeding isn't the same as catnapping."

"So it's you? You're the one who's been fattening him up?"

"That's mean," the woman creases her forehead and pouts a little, rubbing Charlie's furry head. "I think he looks fine just as he is."

"What's he eating anyway?"

"Tuna casserole."

Santana's feelings of offense evaporate at this point and she's just confused.

"What?"

"My roommate is trying to learn to cook for her boyfriend," the woman explains. "I don't think it's very good but Cheeto seems to like it."

"Cheeto?"

She looks a little embarrassed. Santana thinks it's kind of cute. "That's not his name?"

"No, uh, his name is Charlie."

"Oh, I've been calling him Cheeto. The orange spots on his fur are kinda cheeto shaped. He doesn't seem to mind," she adds.

"No, I'm sure he doesn't."

Now sensing that Santana was out of accusation mode, the woman extended her hand.

"I'm Brittany, by the way. 1812," she gestures to the apartment behind her.

Santana shook it. "Santana. 1820"

"I like your name."

"Thanks. My mom picked it out."

Santana was horrified at the words that just left her mouth. What the hell was that? She knows how to talk to beautiful women, ok? She's just having an off day. Apparently her game had just decided to up and leave and go on vacation without telling her first.

Brittany giggles at that and scoots over a little on the bench, inviting Santana, mouth still slightly agape from her words, to take a seat next to her. She obliges and just stares down at Charlie tucking into his tuna casserole. She mostly stares down at the cat because Brittany's eyes are so very blue.

"So how long has this been going on exactly?"

"Maybe a month," Brittany shrugs. "He just kind of started coming around and one time he looked kinda hungry so I fed him the leftover's my roommate cooked. After that he kinda started coming around a lot."

"Leftovers huh? I guess the Cat Chow I've been feeding him doesn't really compare."

"Depends on the brand you buy, but usually cats prefer people-food even if it's not always the best for them. I try to only feed him stuff that cats would normally eat, like chicken and fish. Only stuff that they'd be able to catch in the wild."

"Huh. I had no idea about any of that."

"Ok, one time I fed him steak," Brittany says, looking a little guilty.

"Wow."

"My roommate bought this 14-pack of steak from Costco and I messed up with the freezing and the defrosting and we ended up just having to cook all of them. I thought maybe he should eat some before it went bad…" she trails off. "He seemed to really like it."

Santana chuckles a little. "Lucky Charlie, I bet he's the most well-fed cat in LA."

"Even more than all those pets to the stars?"

"Oh, totally, especially since he's apparently been getting double meals."

Brittany laughs and for reasons she doesn't quite understand, Santana can hear her heart beating louder in her chest.

"Sorry, if I've been stealing him away from you," she apologizes. "I just miss having a cat around."

"You had a cat before?"

"He lives back home with my parents. My roommate's allergic so I couldn't get another one even if I wanted to. I miss him sometimes. Even if he was leaking pages of my diary on the internet."

"Oh," Santana says, obviously confused. "Sounds like kind of a jerk."

"Yeah, but he has a good heart under all his addictions and gang affiliations."

"Right."

"So is Charlie your first?" Brittany asks.

"Is it that obvious I don't know what I'm doing?" Santana laughs. "I guess so. I mean, technically he's my friend's cat but she got sent to London for a couple months for work so she asked me to take care of him."

"I think you're actually doing pretty well considering he's your first cat. They're not as easy to take care of as everyone thinks," she comments as Charlie finishes his tuna casserole and jumps up onto the bench, where Brittany can pet him.

"Thanks."

"I also think you're a good friend."

Santana feels herself starting to blush and looks down at the ground to avoid eye contact. "You just met me. There's no way you could know that."

"Yeah but you're looking after your friend's cat while she's away, even though you don't really have any experience in it and you even tracked down to see where he was going when you thought something was up. Sounds like a pretty good friend to me."

"Yeah, well…" she mumbles, not sure of how to respond. "Listen, I think um, I think I'd be cool if you wanted to still hang out with Charlie and stuff. He seems to like you and I doubt I could stop him even if I wanted to."

Brittany's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe just go easy on the steak, though. My friend is a total helicopter cat-mom and she's not super happy with all the weight gain."

"I know an Atkins diet that might help."

"I mean, yeah, if you think-"

"Oh, thank you Santana!" with a big grin on her face, Brittany leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Santana in a big hug. The brunette was taken aback by it, clearly not expecting it, but was pleasantly surprised.

"Sorry," Brittany pulled away, looking a little embarrassed.

"No, don't be," she managed to get out. "Listen, Brittany, would it be cool if I got your number?" Santana realizes instantly what it sounds like and quickly tries to explain herself. "Since I obviously have no idea what I'm doing with this cat thing. Just, so I could like, text you if I have questions about cat food brands or going to the vet or something. You know, for Charlie's sake and everything," she added quickly.

"Totally," Brittany grinned. "I'll be like your cat whisperer."

.

.

.

Authors Notes:

If anyone here ever watched the show Chuck, the apartment complex in that show is kind of what I imagine the apartment complex here looks like.

I actually came up with this idea many years ago, but I didn't put pen to paper till recently. It was inspired by the fact that at a certain point my friend (and her parents) ended up feeding their neighbours cat on a regular basis and it started to get fat. This is also the first multi-chap I've written in years and the first Brittana multi-chap I've written at all.

[quinnybee-writes]

Title: Fire Meet Gasoline

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia

Rating: T+

Part: 6/?

Story Summary: A chance encounter between a villain and vigilante leads to an unwise deal made between unlikely allies; an unwise deal made between unlikely allies ends in a final stand neither would have ever dared to take on alone. Together, though, they just might have a fighting chance.

Part 6 Summary: Favor number two tests the patience of one and the mettle of another, leaving uncertainty about both in its wake.

Part 1 on  Tumblr / AO3

Part 2 on Tumblr / AO3

Part 3 on Tumblr / AO3

Part 4 on Tumblr / AO3

Part 5 on Tumblr / AO3

Part 6 on AO3

I swear to god if if I have to sit through one more meeting where I get voluntold to pick up another department’s slack in the same sentence as management trying to cut my intern’s hours I’m going to chug a two-liter of Surge and burp so loud I bring this whole mfer down with me.

Shouta stared at his phone, his sleep-addled brain trying to make sense of whether Yamada meant the text as a threat or not. He’d been catching a quick power nap in the back of his truck during his lunch hour and had been most of the way asleep when the rattle of his phone on the metal floor jolted him awake again. Not helping his attempt to dissect the meaningless hyperbole was Yamada’s follow up text of lmao it u along with a gif of a cat trying to jump from a bed to a dresser and falling halfway with the caption “parkour!”. He wouldn’t put it past Yamada to be the type to threaten in one breath and quote a meme in the next, but he couldn’t wrap his brain around why Yamada would be sending him incriminating evidence via text message during work hours.

Two new messages came in quick succession as Shouta was trying to puzzle things out.

Oh my god

Those were supposed to go to my sister holy shit

So not an admission or a threat, just an idiot with a cell phone. Shouta groaned, eyes rolling back in his head in disgust at how much energy he had wasted on taking Yamada seriously yet again.

forget it Shouta sent back.

Cute cat pic for ur trouble? Yamada replied along with a picture of a gangly black cat with bright yellow eyes. The cat was sprawled on its back in a pile of kibble and the shredded scraps of a cat food bag. Shouta snorted, grinning a little in spite of himself at the self-satisfied look on the cat’s fuzzy little face.

cute he texted, trying to distill as much exhaustion and disinterest into the single word as possible.

That’s Ai-chan. She’s a monster, but she’s my monster <3

So what are you up to? Break from work?

Shouta sighed, rubbing his temples. It was impossible to freeze out someone who was so willing to keep the conversation going without outside input.

trying to catch some sleep before afternoon deliveries Shouta replied as pointedly as he could.

Oof. Busy night?

do you need something? Shouta asked, stabbing the send key a little harder than he really needed to. There was a short, offended pause from Yamada’s end of the line; Shouta could picture him looking down at his phone with that little not-quite-pouting moue he always made when things weren’t going his way.

I guess not.

The curt punctuation seemed to signal Yamada had finally gotten the point, just in time to exhaust the last of Shouta’s free time before he had to get going again. Shouta put his phone into his pocket and made a point to not check it again until he was walking home. Waiting for him was another gif, this time of a pair of hands vigorously shaking a bottle of Surge, followed by a message that just said Oh goddammit. Shouta rolled his eyes and deleted the thread without replying.

The perceived slight only kept Yamada at bay for a short time, however. Now that he’d gotten a taste of the man’s texting habits Shouta had to wonder how Yamada managed to get anything done. No matter when his breaks were during the day it seemed like Yamada always had some new meme or gif or general workplace complaint to gift him with in the meantime, whether it was before dawn or after dark or occasionally both.

do you actually have a job or do they just pay you to bother me? Shouta finally asked as he waited at an interminable red light several days later. Yamada had been on a spree that morning, flooding his inbox with an illustrated play-by-play of Ai-chan’s newest misdoings while Shouta had four straight hours of back-to-back deliveries.

Excuse you, Yamada texted back loftily, I am an integral part of station management! Who occasionally may or may not take extra long bathroom breaks to avoid getting roped into being more integral than I already am.

my bad. clearly you’re just doing your part to prevent asahi radio from being razed via belch Shouta replied, snorting out a laugh before he could stop himself. He paused, frowning. That was both new and unwelcome.

Yamada sent back a long line of laugh-crying emojis followed by Look who grew a sense of humor just in time to drag me!

don’t act like you know me.

Yeah, yeah. Scout’s honor, I won’t tell anybody you’re actually funny.

Shouta scowled, dropping the phone onto the seat next to him and pulling through the light as it finally turned green. Despite the chilly weather he rolled his window down to get some airflow on his face. He hadn’t turned on the truck’s heater yet but his cheeks already felt way too warm.

Shouta spent his next day off drinking too much coffee at the cat cafe while he tried to reign in the chaos that his computer desktop had become. His phone buzzed on the table beside him and Shouta swiped in the passcode with one hand while the other was dragging a huge load of defunct backup files to his computer’s trash. He’d sooner walk into traffic than admit it to Yamada, but having a passcode on his phone was turning out to be less of an inefficient hassle that he’d always thought it would be and did make him less anxious about putting it places that weren’t his pocket or his hand.

As if waiting for the thought to cue him in, the alert was for yet another of Yamada’s early-morning memes. This time it was a gif of a kitten trying to stay awake before it wobbled and flopped out of frame. Yamada’s accompanying caption read That midweek feeling hitting hard today along with an emoji of a sleeping face with a snot bubble.

it’s monday Shouta texted back.

When you work 24/7 it’s always midweek, Yamada replied.

implying you work at all. still not convinced.

I resent that, Aizawa. It takes a lot of skill and determination to shovel this much shit and still have spare time to be a full-time pain in the ass.

Shouta almost allowed himself a laugh at that, but the air caught in his throat at Yamada’s next question.

So, do you do all of your important hero research on the public wifi at kitty cafes, or is today a special occasion?

What do you mean? Shouta asked warily.

Behind you.

Shouta turned slowly, dreading what he knew he was about to see. Yamada was standing on the sidewalk outside, grinning at him over the top of his cell phone. He gave Shouta a little wave before sauntering in and up to the counter. He chatted amiably with the baristas as they made his order. Shouta frowned to himself, trying to work out the quickest way to pack up his belongings while disturbing as few sleeping cats as possible. The moment came and went too quickly, however, as Yamada came over with two cups of coffee in his hands.

“Black with one sugar, right?” Yamada said. He slid one of the steaming mugs in front of Shouta. “That’s what they said anyway,” he added, nodding up towards the counter.

“What are you doing here?” Shouta asked coolly. Yamada frowned at him.

“I was on my way to the post office to mail a couple things and empty the station P.O. box and saw you in the window,” Yamada said. “I figured we could sit and chat since we both have a minute.”

“You just kind of assume you’re welcome wherever you decide to be, don’t you?” Shouta said.

Yamada snorted. “If that’s the worst thing someone tells me about myself today, I’ll count it as a win,” he replied, toasting Shouta with his coffee cup. He invited himself to sit down in the only chair not currently occupied by cats. “Wait, is that a spreadsheet with my name on it?” he added with sudden interest, arching his neck around to peek at Shouta’s screen. Shouta slammed the lid of his laptop shut, feeling his face heating.

“Do you need something?” Shouta asked, trying to redirect the conversation and get Yamada back on his way as quickly as possible.

“Just caffeine and conversation,” Yamada shrugged. “Is it illegal to ask someone about their day?”

“Implying you care about whether or not you’re doing something illegal,” Shouta replied curtly. To his annoyance Yamada just chuckled and shrugged.

“I mean, you’ve got me there,” he said. “So, what are you working on?” Yamada added, lowering his tone just slightly.

“Catching up on some things,” Shouta said, intentionally vague. “Organizing research. It takes longer when you’re doing it on your own.”

“I bet,” Yamada agreed. “Would probably save you some time and effort to have a permanent back door into places you’re not supposed to be, huh?” He said it with a too-even speculation that set Shouta instantly on edge.

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” Shouta said.

“I know people who know things,” Yamada said with a broad, conspiratorial grin over his coffee mug. “Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer is a lot easier when you can tell which is which.”

Shouta felt a frisson of discomfort run up his spine at the implication of where Yamada considered him to be on that spectrum. “I think I liked it better when you were threatening me,” he muttered. “Don’t make more of that than there is,” he added quickly as Yamada’s smile grew cheeky and he opened his mouth to comment. Yamada did his annoying little not-quite-pouting pout and let out a quiet “hmph” at his joke being preempted.

“In any case, you probably don’t need me to tell you how to crack a secure password,” Yamada said. “Even when they’re clever they’re usually related to either the one who sets them or the thing they’re locking up, or they’re something pseudo-random cooked up by a number generator. Sometimes they get stupid-clever and try to do all three.”

“Mmn?” As bored as he was trying to sound, Shouta couldn’t help taking mental notes on what Yamada was saying. Yamada was a flippant trouble-maker from the word go but there were moments where he displayed actual talent for the things he claimed to be an expert in.

“Oh yeah,” Yamada said. “They’re trying for layers of security, but too many moving parts makes passwords way easier to out-think. Codes are only as smart as the people who write them, y’know?”

“And you know how smart they are?” Shouta asked, trying to keep his tone casual as he goaded Yamada into staying on a roll. Yamada caught his drift a little too well, however, and the sharp, meaningful grin came out again.

“I know people who know things,” he said again. “I’d be willing to let you in on a few trade secrets for the low, low price of a certain five-letter word beginning with ‘f’.”

Shouta snorted. “Hard pass.”

“Well, I tried,” Yamada said, shrugging. He checked the time on his phone and sighed. “That’s about my lot, I’m afraid. Gotta get back before the world ends.” He stood and stretched with a groan. “We should do this again sometime. Maybe talk less shop.” The offer seemed oddly genuine and Shouta wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that.

He tried to get back to work after Yamada left, but his concentration had been thoroughly broken. He bought another coffee and turned on some neutral background music; his brain, however, was no longer in the mood to stare at a screen and try to riddle out what his new sub-folders should be called. Finally Shouta dislodged the many cats who had taken up residence in and around his lap and packed up his laptop to see if fresh air on the walk home and a change of venue might help get him back on task.

Shouta nudged his apartment door closed with his heel, scooping the mess of envelopes out of his mail bin. It was mostly the normal jumble of junk and bills, but amongst the shuffle was a thin white payroll envelope with his name and address on the front in too-familiar spidery handwriting. Just going to empty the station mailbox indeed, Shouta thought with a groan. Yamada was way too fond of theatrics. He tossed the envelope onto his sofa without opening it and delayed paying it any attention until he’d put everything away, showered, and had a lengthy play session with his cats. If it was unimportant enough for Yamada to not just hand it over when they were in the same room together, Shouta told himself, then there was no need for him to bend over backwards to pay attention to it the instant he got home.

Finally his excuses ran out and he tore the envelope open. Inside were two pieces of paper folded separately into sharp thirds. The first was a handwritten note on Asahi Radio letterhead that read:

Aizawa-

I need a favor. I have a line on something but doing it alone might be tricky. You’ll just be the go-between, nothing dire. Meet me Friday, 9pm sharp.

-M

Also included was another of Yamada’s meticulously notated hand-drawn maps, at the other end of which was a complex of storage units bordered on all sides by a spike-topped chain link fence. Shouta peered into the dark, abandoned-looking guard booth, wondering if the first step to tonight’s goings-on was having to find his own way inside.

“Hey, you made it!”

Shouta turned to see a dark-haired man slouching up towards him from the other end of the sidewalk. He eyed the man warily, about to say he had the wrong person, but stopped as he stepped into the light and raised his sunglasses with a smirk. Yamada had stuffed all of his hair under a short, spiky black wig and a black and green snapback, slicked down his mustache and covered it in a thin layer of skin-colored makeup to blend it in with his face, and buried himself in baggy jeans and a jacket that made him look both heavier-set and a few inches shorter than he actually was. The only things that gave him away were his sharp too-green eyes and his unmistakable grin, full of crafty smugness at Shouta’s open surprise at his appearance. Yamada did a full turnaround of the odd costume, ending the twirl with a dramatic pose.

“Not a bad look for me, huh?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Shouta snorted. “You look like a washed-up pop star who’s trying to pretend he still has to avoid the paparazzi,” he replied flatly.

To his surprise Yamada let out a burst of full-throated laughter at the remark. Shouta wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Yamada laugh in genuine amusement before now, only the occasional mocking chuckle or triumphant snicker. He had a loud, whinnying kind of laugh that tapered off into short bursts of wheezy, hyena-like giggles behind his hand as he remembered himself and tried to tamp it down.

“Okay, cynical,” Yamada said, still coughing through the last of his laughing fit. “Everyone’s a critic.” He rolled his eyes and gave a flourishy “well, what are you gonna do” kind of shrug. Shouta scowled at him.

“What are we doing here?” Shouta asked, doing his best to ignore Yamada’s grandstanding despite the growing burn of annoyance creeping up his face.

“Just a quick jaunt into my evil lair,” Yamada said cheerfully. He punched an entry code into the number pad next to the guard house, then pressed his thumb to the scanner underneath. The keypad flashed green and beeped an affirmative, and a small portion of the gate swung inward. “C’mon,” Yamada said. He motioned for Shouta to follow him as he led the way through the rows of squat cinder block units to one in the very back left corner of the lot.

“People with money can afford secret basements and underground boltholes wherever they need them,” Yamada said over his shoulder as he bent down to unlock the door of the unit, “but the rest of us have to make do with what we’ve got.” He lifted the door just high enough for himself and Shouta to duck under, then set it back down with a clatter. The unit was pitch-black and humid inside and smelled like a mixture of burnt-out electrical parts, solder, and partially cured epoxy glue. “I’ll get the lights, one sec,” Yamada said. Shouta heard him scrabbling along the wall to find the light switch, then a click. A fluorescent shop light flickered and buzzed to life above them, flooding the unit in intense blue-white light. Yamada turned to Shouta and spread his hands wide. “Taa-daa! Welcome to the inner sanctum.”

It looked more like a high school shop room that had sublet space to a thrift store. The left wall had been covered in a cluster of flat-pack bookshelves, their shelves bowing under a jumble of storage boxes labeled things like “radio parts-LIVE”, “speaker wire”, “tape--sticky”, and “tape--magnetic”. The back wall was one long anchored shelf divided into slots that held overstuffed file folders bundled together with rubber bands and binder clips. The only wall not covered in shelving or projects was taken up with a butcher block work table and a cork board with scribbled notes and schematics pinned to it.

“Kind of rinky-dink, but it gets the job done,” Yamada said fondly. “Anyway. First things first, did you happen to wear the stab vest I gave you?” he asked over his shoulder as he ducked under the work table and retrieved a box marked with today’s date.

“Yeah.” The assurance that his part in tonight would be “nothing dire” had put Shouta on high enough alert that he’d forced himself to put pride aside and opt for personal safety instead.

“Thank god. So, basically what I need is for you to be my stand in while things get underway tonight,” Yamada said. “I’d go on my own, but the meeting place is kind of a...no-go area for me right now due to certain people who frequent it.”

“And you’d rather send me in looking like you instead?” Shouta asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Yamada stared at Shouta like he’d started speaking French.

“What? God, no, what gave you that idea?”

Shouta sighed, silently counting to ten in his head as his patience frayed. “You just said I’m supposed to be your stand in.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, poor choice of words. Think stunt double, not body double,” Yamada explained. “I just need you to be a good-faith warm body, I’ll be handling the rest with this.” He reached into the box and pulled out something that looked like a cold weather mask had been extruded into a large funnel shape at the bottom edge. Shouta looked from it to Yamada, who was beaming in obvious self-pride.

“Which is…?” Shouta prompted.

“Which is your half of a two-way radio with a built in broadcasting speaker,” Yamada said, turning the top edge inside out to show Shouta the wiring and speakers sewn into it. “At first I thought maybe I could just have you memorize a script and I’d step in if things got too off-book, but you’re not very good at lying under pressure so I wasn’t sure that would fly,” he continued. Shouta wasn’t sure if that was meant as an insult or not. “So instead, we have this to work with. I can use this--” Yamada pulled up his sleeve to show a tiny microphone taped to the inside of his wrist-- “to talk to you or talk as you, depending, as long as I stay within ten or twelve feet of you at all times.” The last part he said in one of his uncomfortably accurate impressions of Shouta’s voice.

“And that’s why you’re dressed like that?” Shouta said.

“Exactly. I’ll have to be close enough to you that the receiver can pick up the signal, and it’ll be way easier to read the room if I’m, y’know, in the room.”

“If you were going to put on a costume and go anyway, why didn’t you just do that and go on your own?” Shouta asked.

Yamada frowned and waved a finger at him like he was scolding a child. “Eh-eh-eh. No questions asked, remember? You know as much as you need to know, and you don’t need to know any more than that. Now stand still so I can get you wired up.”

Shouta grudgingly stood with his arms straight out from his body as Yamada turned him into a human switchboard. With a combination of strategic placement and gaffer tape Yamada ran a long wire with an audio jack on one end and a battery connection on the other from Shouta’s waist up his left side to just under his collar bone. Another wire ran the length of his inner arm from shoulder to wrist and ended in a loop with a switch on it that fit over the first knuckle of his thumb. All he had to do, Yamada said as he taped it all down, was press the switch when he needed to talk to Yamada and let it go when he was finished. “Y’know,” Yamada said, “like those cheap walkie-talkies you used to play with as a kid.”

“I ended up making this a lot bigger at the bottom so that we can hide all of our crimes under it,” Yamada muttered as he slipped the mask over Shouta’s head. He was back in the extreme focus mode Shouta had seen him slip into before, attention laser-focused and the corner of his mouth between his teeth as he connected all the wires and power sources underneath. He pulled an earpiece up under the mask by its wire and stuck it in Shouta’s ear before reaching up to fuss with Shouta’s hair and make sure it was hiding everything sticking above the mask. Shouta shivered involuntarily at the touch, barely resisting the urge to pull away. “With the right top layer all of this should be more or less invisible,” Yamada went on, frowning appraisingly as he took a step back to examine his handiwork. He rummaged through a few things in the box and surfaced with a heavy black zippered jacket. “I had to guess sizes, but I think this one should be close enough.”

Yamada unzipped the jacket and held it out so that Shouta could shrug into it. Shouta eased the jacket on, trying not to disturb the network of wires all over him. Yamada zipped it up almost to the top, open enough to seem casual but still high enough to cover all but the face portion of the mask and its contents. It wasn’t a terrible fit other than being slightly short in the sleeves and restrictive around the shoulders. Shouta bent and twisted his arms, trying to stretch it out without doing damage to the electronic infrastructure. Yamada untied the audiojack end of the main wire from Shouta’s belt loop and stuck it into a small cheap-looking disposable cell phone.

“This should have enough battery to keep a recording of the whole thing,” Yamada said. “Can you give me a quick mic check to make sure everything’s hooked up?”

“Uh. Testing,” Shouta said.

Yamada seemed to like what he saw in the waveforms on the phone’s screen. He smiled in satisfaction before stretching a piece of tape around the back of the phone and carefully taping it into place in Shouta’s pocket. “If we head out right now we should get there early enough to do a few on-site checks,” Yamada said, checking the time. “Shall we?”

The two of them walked a few blocks from the storage unit to a cramped, dim little pub. Yamada walked at tailing distance behind Shouta the whole way, testing the range on the homemade gear by giving Shouta directions to where they were going. The audio was relatively clear if they stayed within Yamada’s estimation of ten or so feet; after they hit closer to the twelve-foot mark it got fainter and fainter until dropping out completely as they reached about fifteen feet. Again Shouta had to wonder why, if they were essentially going to be handcuffed to one another anyway, Yamada couldn’t have just gone undercover by himself.

“Grab a drink at the bar and go sit at one of the high-top tables,” Yamada said as Shouta opened the bar’s door and made his way in. “That’s where he’ll be expecting you.”

“Any advice on how to recognize whoever I’m supposed to be meeting?” Shouta muttered back under his breath.

“No idea, he said he would find you. That’s pretty standard for a meeting like this,” Yamada added before Shouta could protest. “Nobody wants to get jumped outside before negotiations even get underway. Think of it as a blind date, but nefarious.”

Shouta sighed loudly, making sure he hit the switch so that Yamada would hear him. Yamada’s never-ending supply of bad metaphors was the last thing he needed right now.

“Calm down, Aizawa,” Yamada said. “Remember, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty, I’ll handle the talking.” There was a short fizzle of static as Yamada entered the pub and made his way to a secluded booth in the back corner. “Still read me?”

“Yeah.”

“Excellent. What’s your poison?”

“Pardon?”

“Beer? Wine? Shot of whiskey to settle your nerves?”

“You really want alcohol anywhere near all this equipment?” Shouta asked, bewildered.

“It’s just for show, who goes into a bar and doesn’t order anything? You shouldn’t drink anything they serve here anyway, their bartending is a bad joke,” Yamada said dismissively. “I just need to test the audio output and make sure we’re good to go before the main event.”

“Then just do it,” Shouta said shortly. “Didn’t you just say you were going to handle all the talking?”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Yamada muttered again. His usual flippant chill had gained an undertone of cranky tenseness that was less than reassuring. “Can I get a bottle of Sapporo?” Yamada said aloud in Shouta’s voice. Shouta just managed to turn toward the bartender in time for the question to seem natural. The bartender, a smirking woman with long brown hair held back in a red ribbon, gave him an appraising once-over. She seemed to be unimpressed with what she saw.

“Sure,” the bartender said. She reached into a cooler under the counter and came back with the bottle of beer, popping the lid off before placing it on the bar in front of Shouta.

“Thanks,” Yamada said, far more cheerfully than Shouta had ever said the word. Shouta nodded his own thanks and went to go sit at one of the high tables in a cluster near the front. He drummed his heel on the bottom rung of the bar stool. The bar was basically empty and silent other than the bartender’s phone playing lo-fi swing music from a speaker dock behind the bar. Otherwise it was just Shouta and his undrinkable beer killing time.

“Ohshit.” The words came out as a single noise hissed violently in Shouta’s ear, making him jump.

“What?” he hissed back, avoiding the curious look the bartender was giving him.

“Remember how I said there were some people who made this place a no-go area because they want to kill me?” Yamada said, sounding like he was talking through his teeth.

“Yeah?”

“That’s them coming in. Don’t look at them! Have you never been undercover in your life?” Yamada whisper-shouted as Shouta turned to look over his shoulder at the door. Almost immediately he snapped his head back around, trying to be as casual as possible about pulling the jacket’s hood over his head as he saw Takeshiro and his wife coming in and sitting a few tables away.

“You know them?” Shouta asked, hopelessly hoping Yamada actually meant someone else who was still outside.

“Ye-ep,” Yamada said, distaste drawing the word out several syllables longer than it needed to be. “They’re still kind of sore about a certain scene in a certain alley you might be familiar with.” He scoffed, then hissed, “Wait, you know them?” as Shouta’s tone dawned on him.

The alleyway. Shapes in the dark played back in Shouta’s head, fuzzy from time and panic but falling into clearer place with the new context. A short, stringy figure barking orders and bailing when things got complicated; the other taller and stocky and silent with a plant-based Quirk protecting him. Shouta gritted his teeth, annoyed by how clear the connection seemed now that it was right in front of him.

“Takeshiro works on the night crew in package processing. Takes a lot of sick days now that I think of it. I’ve never actually spoken to his wife but I’ve seen her at office parties before,” he said quietly.

“His wife? Ew,” Yamada said.

“You’re telling me they’re villains?” Shouta asked, ignoring him. Yamada snorted.

“So-called. They work for an egomaniac middleman called Seguchi. Hebiko is Seguchi’s left hand, and Takeshiro’s hers.”

“What did you do to make them want to kill you?”

“Their boss did something stupid with information that wasn’t his and got busted. I had nothing to do with it,” Yamada retorted tartly.

“Right, sure,” Shouta said. “Is this going to be a problem?”

“Nah, shouldn’t be,” Yamada said, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced. “This is why I planned things this way. No reason to bail out before anything happens.” Shouta was about to protest that it made a lot more sense to leave before there was a problem rather than scrambling when they were in trouble, but Yamada spoke first. “Heads up, you’ve got company.”

“So you’re Null.”

Shouta turned to see a lanky man with brownish hair and a narrow, rattish face standing slouched behind him with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his grubby jeans.

“Potentially,” Yamada replied. “You’re Raimaru?” His impression of Shouta’s voice was dead-on, which was bad enough on its own, but there was something just slightly off about his intonation that made Shouta’s skin crawl.

“That’s what they call me,” the man said. ”Getcha a refill while we talk?” he added, nodding at Shouta’s obviously untouched beer.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Shouta fiddled with the neck of the bottle to make it seem less like a static prop on the table in front of him. Even if Yamada had been against the idea of giving him a script to follow, some guidance on what to do in general might have been nice. He felt stiff and awkward, like a puppet whose puppeteer only had a vague idea of how natural movements worked.

“Suit yourself,” Raimaru shrugged. He ambled off to talk to the bartender, seeming to be doing his best to chat her up as she mixed his drink.

“‘Null’?” Shouta muttered to Yamada.

“Short for ‘nullify’, like your Quirk. Get it?” When Shouta just sighed in reply, Yamada added defensively, “Well, I had to call you something, didn’t I?”

“Did you?”

“What did you want me to say, ‘oh by the by you’ll be meeting my friend Shouta Aizawa, he’s thirty, single, a Scorpio, and lives in a single-occupancy uptown with three cats’?” Yamada retorted.

He technically had a point and Shouta hated that the most out of all the things he hated about this evening so far. Yamada had no time to gloat over the win, however, as Raimaru came back and dropped onto the stool across from Shouta.

“Kind of a hassle, having to be the face of cleaning up all of your boss’s bad behavior, huh? From what I’ve heard he’s got plenty to go around,” Raimaru said. Shouta privately agreed with the sentiment, but Yamada snorted instead.

“I get paid to go where I’m told, not to pass judgements,” Yamada replied stiffly. Shouta resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the defensive bluster. Raimaru laughed for him.

“I dunno about that. There’s plenty of judgement to go around if you want some,” Raimaru said. “Seems like the only books he can get into these days are peoples’ bad ones.”

“You think he gives a damn about anyone’s books other than his own?”

“I’m just saying I know a glorywhore when I see one. He spends all of his time making deals and playing nice and then suddenly people higher than him start going to jail,” Raimaru said. “Happened to Fukawa, happened to Seguchi, happened to Iwata. Hell, everyone knows he snitched and got Hanajima back in the day but Hanajima got shanked in prison and all his men scattered so nobody talks about him anymore.”

Shouta squirrelled the names away to research later, though other than those names Raimaru had said precious little to convince him that he knew much of anything besides Yamada’s surface reputation. So far his assertions had been vague at best and his “work, am I right?” tone was suspiciously chummy, like he was trying to nudge “Null” into letting something incriminating slip out.

“Why is any of this relevant?” Yamada asked. He sounded equally short on patience with Raimaru’s unsubtle attempts at currying favor. Raimaru gave a slightly passive-aggressive shrug.

“There’s a storm coming. A big one, one that’s gonna hit hard and rewrite a lot of rules about who’s in charge and who’s got a boot on their necks. You’re not gonna be in a great spot if you’re working for the Bird, so I thought you’d wanna know there’s better options,” he said. It was the first thing he’d said that sounded like he actually knew what he was talking about and it was not a reassuring change. Yamada, however, seemed unfazed.

“What, some new jumped-up ‘super’ villain with big plans for a criminal utopia?” Yamada said, unimpressed. “Seen ‘em come, seen ‘em go, nothing of value was lost. You asked me to come here because you had something valuable you wanted to trade. Is that still the case, or should I head out and stick you with the tab for wasting my time?”

“So, that’s a ‘no’ from you?” Raimaru asked, still grinning like someone had wired the corners of his mouth behind his ears.

“I didn’t hear a question being asked, but…” All of a sudden Yamada’s voice trailed off in a fizzle of static. Shouta tensed. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at Yamada, who met his eye with a look that was not quite panic but was very, very close to it. Yamada tapped his ear questioningly. Shouta twitched his head to the side in a negative. He saw Yamada mouth “Shit!” before his attention snapped back to the problem in front of him as Raimaru let out a short chuckle.

“Never a good idea to use radio signals around me,” Raimaru said smugly. “They usually end up a little...dead.” He casually brought the hand that had been under the table to rest on its surface. It was holding a large pocket knife, which he casually flicked open and closed as he spoke. All of the plastic had been stripped off of the knife, leaving behind just the blades and metal guts holding them together. As Shouta eyed it, the blade began to glow a smokey orange around Raimaru’s fingertips.

“I think we’re done here,” Shouta said, trying to match the off-cadence way Yamada had been using his voice all night.

This only seemed to egg Raimaru on, however, as he cranked his Quirk up another notch. Shouta felt a static prickling like the kind before a huge lightning strike setting the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck on end. A tinny shrilling feedback noise whined through his earpiece, making him jolt and hiss in sudden pain. Shouta gritted his teeth and set his own Quirk on Raimaru instead. A hasty decision, it turned out, as a sudden crash of noise hit him all at once. Yamada’s voice half-shouting in his ear was interlaced with loud snaps of static as the equipment reconnected. Shouta winced at the onslaught, clapping a hand to his ear before he could stop himself. The moment of distraction was all Raimaru needed.

“So the Bird’s doggy wants to bark, huh?” In one fluid motion Raimaru threw what was left in his glass in Shouta’s eyes and hooked a foot under the bottom rung of Shouta’s stool, yanking it from under him. Shouta toppled to the floor, landing hard on his ass and elbows as he futilely tried to catch himself as he fell. He blinked hard, tears streaming as his eyes burned with whatever had been in that glass. Raimaru grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him partially upright.

“Things could have gone better for you, but it looks like the Bird just likes making things difficult,” Raimaru said.

Shouta dug his fingers into Raimaru’s wrist, trying to wrestle himself free. Raimaru smirked, a violent shock sparking off of his skin and into Shouta’s arm. Shouta let out a bark of agony as his entire arm below the shoulder seized and went numb. Someone else’s hand, large and thick-fingered, ripped his back by the forearm, twisting his hand back and up between his shoulder blades. Shouta stiffened. He hadn’t heard Takeshiro or his wife approaching during the scuffle but it was obvious now they had him surrounded. He thought of the alley and the way they had closed ranks around Yamada, accounting for every avenue of escape except for a one-in-a-million outside intervention. Shouta darted a look over to Yamada. Their eyes met for a split second that lasted an eon. Yamada’s eyes were wide and his face had gone deathly pale as he took in the scene in front of him. He was frozen half in motion, caught between breaking cover to come help and his desire to steer clear of Takeshiro and Hebiko. Shouta’s stomach sank as Yamada dropped his gaze, hunching in on himself and pulling his hat down farther to hide his face.

“Last chance, doggy,” Raimaru said. “That signal was too weak to come from very far away. Point us in the right direction and we’ll let you go, no hard feelings. Otherwise we send you back to your master in pieces.”

He leaned in as he threatened, and Shouta took the opportunity to show him how close was too close. Shouta reared back, then rammed his forehead into Raimaru’s nose at full force. As Raimaru reeled back, Shouta slammed himself back into Takeshiro, sending the man spine-first into the edge of a table. Takeshiro grunted in pain and Shouta twisted away from his grasp as Takeshiro tried to catch himself. Raimaru sank his fist into Shouta’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him, but Shouta managed to activate his Quirk again before Raimaru could shock him. Shouta retaliated with a sharp hook, jamming his fist into Raimaru’s solar plexus with as much force as he could muster. As Raimaru doubled over Shouta grabbed a fistful of his hair and slammed him face-first into the table.

“All right, ENOUGH!” the bartender yelled. She was floating above the bar with a warning look on her face, a thin metal pipe leveled at Shouta’s head. Shouta looked from her to Takeshiro and Hebiko, who had backed off behind their table again, to Raimaru, who was staring up from under his hand with undisguised disgust as he bled onto the table. Shouta took a moment to catch his breath, then released Raimaru. Not bothering to see if Yamada would follow, Shouta took the moment of peace to walk out of the bar.

The night air was cold and made his face feel closed in and sticky under the mask. Shouta jerked it down under his chin, sucking in a hard breath. The adrenaline in his veins felt like a cloying, choking compulsion to just run, escape, flee as fast as he could in any direction that would count as away. His lungs burned nearly as badly as his eyes, every new breath feeling like a sharp stab in the chest. A strange itching slightly farther down his abdomen joined the pain in his chest as he half-sprinted down the sidewalk. Shouta looked down and froze mid-step. The bare metal handle of Raimaru’s knife stuck out of his stomach at an almost perfect perpendicular angle, jammed in so far that the tip was pressing the rough kevlar of his stab vest against his flesh.

“Ho-ly shit that was a whole bunch of something.” Shouta didn’t look up from the knife almost in his gut as Yamada’s voice crowed out behind him. He felt Yamada digging in his pocket and retrieving the cell phone. “Could have gone better for sure, but also could have gone worse.” Yamada gave Shouta a cheery smack on the shoulder. “You and I make a pretty good team, huh? C’mon, let’s go find a nicer place to grab a bite and hang out until things die down.”

He paused like he fully expected Shouta to agree and follow after him, but Shouta was barely listening. His mind was still trying to process the knife handle sticking out of his stomach. The night “could have gone worse”? Raimaru had almost made good on the threat to send Shouta home in pieces while Yamada cowered in a corner booth, more worried about being seen than being helpful, and Yamada was congratulating himself for a job well done.

“Aizawa? Earth to Aizawa? Hey, are you okay? You’re shaking.” There was a note of real concern in Yamada’s voice as he reached out a hand to steady the trembling in Shouta’s body.

The idea of Yamada making any kind of physical contact snapped the last bit of sane civility Shouta had left in him. True fury, hot and fast and scraped raw by everything that was running through Shouta’s head, boiled over in his chest. He swung wildly at Yamada, hoping to make contact but hoping more just to fend him off as violently as possible. Yamada yelped and jumped backwards, hands coming up to protect himself.

“Whoa! What the hell--?” Yamada began, but Shouta was already swinging again. He wanted to make Yamada bleed, make him feel even half as agonized and afraid as he did right now. Yamada stumbled away from him, eyes wide in shock and confusion. His back hit the brick wall of a building and Shouta got right up in his face, Quirk blazing and teeth bared in a hateful snarl as he spoke.

“Let me be clear with this, so maybe you’ll hear it over the sound of your own voice,” Shouta said between clenched teeth. “We are not partners. We do not make a good team. We are sure as fuck not friends who hang out. You are a problem in my life that I am trying to solve. Get that through your thick skull and stop acting like we’re in this together.” He pulled the knife out and threw it violently at Yamada’s feet before turning on his heel and striding away as fast as his legs could carry him.

As soon as he staggered into his apartment and secured every lock and deadbolt on his door Shouta stripped down, dumping everything he’d been wearing in a heap in the entryway. Ignoring his cats’ cries for attention, Shouta went straight to the bathroom and ran the shower as hot as he could stand it. He could feel himself shaking now, the dregs of adrenaline making his legs weak rather than holding him up any longer. He sat down in his tub with the scalding water beating against his back, arms wrapped around himself. He looked down and saw a long irritated scratch rising on his stomach where the knife had dragged against him through the vest. Shouta let out a long, unsteady breath and closed his eyes. He’d been a vigilante for long enough to know that it meant going without any kind of help when things went from bad to worse to potentially lethal; until now not even his worst cases had shaken him like this. But those times he’d known the risk going in and taking it on had been his choice, which made all the difference. Yamada had known, though. Yamada had known they should have bailed as soon as their worst case scenario walked in the pub’s doors and he’d used Shouta as a human shield to try to get what he wanted anyway. Shouta gritted his teeth, nails digging into his palms as his hands balled into fists. He shouldn’t have expected anything less from someone like Yamada.

Never again, Shouta thought as he roughly toweled off. Yamada could keep his favors and his trade secrets and all the rest of it. He’d need all the help he could get, because as far as Shouta was concerned Yamada was on his own from this moment on.

[rainydayswriter]

Eons ago I started a Vandy drabble for @reifromrfa (love you, boo!) and today I finally finished it lmao (can’t keep a schedule to save my life) Vanderwood is a (mostly) blank canvas, so I did what I could to paint him as I imagined him following the Secret Endings.

Drabble under the cut, hope you enjoy!

The RFA party was in full swing; glasses clinked, laughter rolled in from all directions, someone seemed to be shouting Tyrenol at the top of their lungs. What appeared to be an actual mummy shambled up to a vampire, who held his cape up in the most stereotypical fashion. Vanderwood wondered if this wasn't some elaborate prank developed by the members as some sort of test. They had the money, resources, and connections. Despite this, Saeyoung remained incredibly casual, clapping him on the back and saying, "If you want to leave early, give me a holler!"    

"What about your brother?"    

Saeyoung visibly brightened as his attention flickered over to Saeran, who was chuckling as Yoosung gestured wildly about something. The college kid had made fast friends with Saeran, much to everyone's surprise and relief. "Aw, he won’t be stranded. He’d hitch a ride with Yoosung or Zen."    

"He’s adjusting alright, then?"    

"Yeah. We’re taking it day by day, you know?" Saeyoung turned to face Vanderwood fully, warm expression shifting into something more playful, something that had Vanderwood instinctively bracing himself for. "What about you? Are you learning to enjoy yourself yet? Missing my company?" he added slyly with an over exaggerated wink.    

"It’s hard to miss you when I still talk to you through the messenger almost every day."    

Saeyoung waggled his eyebrows. "It's addicting, isn't it?"    

Rolling his eyes, Vanderwood said, "I'll admit, I assumed it was solely for party planning. I didn't expect everyone to be so laid back. The amount of selfies and cat photos that go through a single chat room is astonishing."   

"You know, that's what Jaehee said at first, too. But she has no problems with Zen's pics . . ." Saeyoung gave a hapless sigh and shrugged. "Well, what can you do if some people just don’t have the same love for cats as I do? Oh, hey!" He elbowed Vanderwood's side. "Look at who’s on her way over."    

It was the coy way Saeyoung said it that made him instantly alert. And sure enough, there you were, weaving through the throngs of people. A bright smile lit up your face when you caught his eye, near damning him with how much he hoped it was reserved for him. He stood taller and reached up to straighten his tie, feeling very much like he'd tazed himself.    

It occurred to him to meet you halfway too late. Your expression tightened into one of polite interest as a guest appeared in your path, and you cast an apologetic look over their shoulder. He lifted a hand in return, lips twitching with barely withheld disappointment as the guest led you away.    

"Oh." Saeyoung made a pleased hum.    

"What?" he groused, crossing his arms.    

"If I didn’t know any better," Saeyoung said, voice dropping as if he were sharing a deadly secret, "I’d bet my fastest baby that you like our precious coordinator."  

His heart stuttered. On instinct, he scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Of course I like her. Anyone who can deal with so many characters and still keep sane deserves my respect." Respect, admiration, half of my waking thoughts. God, what an understatement. He couldn't go half an hour without wanting to talk to you on the messenger, but then it was never enough. He wanted to hear your voice, your laugh. So much of his life had been spent lurking beneath the radar as a tool, was it so wrong for him to drift towards you when you offered such normalcy? When you went through hell and back for people you hardly knew, and kept Saeyoung from totally destroying himself in the process?    

And the fact that you reached out to him so often, asking after him, and, dare he assume, flirted with him.    

"Huh." That smug cat’s grin only widened, glasses glinting in the chandelier light. Jesus, the kid was too observant for his own good. "She is a great gal. But that isn’t how I meant it, and you know it," he sang, one arm resting over Vanderwood’s. "We’re friends, aren’t we?"    

"I’m almost insulted you have to ask."    

"So then, allow me to give you some advice. Straight from the mouth of God Seven himself." This time Saeyoung dipped his head, lifting a hand to cup his mouth to complete the charade of warding off eavesdroppers. "Go talk to her."    

"What." Vanderwood lifted his brows. "That’s it? No wild scheme or cat analogy?"    

Saeyoung chuckled, scooped up two passing glasses of wine, and held them out. "My messenger does wonders, but eventually you have to break that fourth wall yourself and talk face-to-face."    

Vanderwood took the glasses and frowned. "Fourth wall?"    

Saeyoung rolled his eyes, as if it were all painfully obvious. "I’m not a wizard. There are some things you should do yourself, instead of wishing for everything to turn out your way. You're free to make your own plan of action now, Madam."  

"I have no idea what you’re going on about now."    

"I'm saying move your leopard-print loving ass before someone else does."    

"You-" He was caught between chewing out Saeyoung over whatever the hell kind of insult that was and latching onto the last bit. Someone else. Was there someone else? He didn't know much about your life outside of the RFA. You had a job, you surely had friends and family outside this bubble he'd only just been introduced into. What if there was another person? A coworker? An actual partner? No, Saeyoung of all people would know that from the very first inspection of you.    

"You aren't getting any younger," Saeyoung sang.    

Vanderwood shot him an unimpressed look before inhaling deeply and strode forward.    

He was saved from awkwardly hovering until your conversation finished when he caught your eye approaching. You politely peeled yourself away from the group, meeting him halfway, shoulders sagging with relief. Maybe he’d saved you from an overwhelming interaction. A lot of the guests attending the party were . . . Abnormal, to say the least.    

"Vanderwood," you greeted, eyes wide, "I didn't expect to see you here tonight! I'm glad you came."    

The corners of his lips tugged upward. Be relaxed, don't freak her out. This wasn't the agency, she was a civilian. "Glad to be here. Drink?"    

He handed you the glass, admiring the effervescent glow dancing across your features. Since the events at that cult, Vanderwood had interacted with you almost solely through the app. Laying low while he and Saeyoung dealt with the aftermath of their disappearance from the agency had left little time for real talk.    But now here he was, and here you were dressed up and expressing genuine joy at his presence . . . Wow. "You look nice." Nailed it.    

"Well, thank you." Your eyes dipped to his chest. "You look dashing, yourself. Is purple your favorite color?"    

He pushed back his bangs, looking down at the purple and white ensemble with a little embarrassment. It held up to Saeyoung’s “keen” eye for fashion, and it wasn’t like he himself hadn’t had to attend a few parties for missions . . . "I don’t know if I have a favorite color, but I thought I’d save the leopard print suit for another time."    

You laughed behind your hand. "I’ll be looking forward to seeing it. I have a feeling the parties will only get bigger from here on out, so a leopard print suit will fit right in."    

"I should've known this wasn't even scratching the surface."    

"I mean, this is only my second party I've helped coordinate, and the first I actually attended, so . . . we're kind of in the same boat here."    

"I couldn't tell. You make it look easy."    

"Thanks. Good to know I don't look as nervous as I feel. It’s still a little much for me." You leaned back against the wall and gazed out at the crowd with a soft sigh. "But at least everyone is enjoying themselves."    

Vanderwood nodded, but there was a tenseness below the surface of your words. He knew stress intimately enough to recognize the tells. Swirling the contents of his glass, he said, "Maybe you should take a vacation after this. I think you’ve more than earned it, all things considered."    

"Hah, really?" You considered it for a moment. "I won’t lie, having a full night’s sleep without worrying for anyone’s safety or missing out on some important news sounds heavenly."    

"Is there any place you’ve thought about visiting?"    

You hummed, looking at the ceiling and cocking your head. "I think . . . anywhere warm and sunny will do. With a beach and a nice shopping district too." A warm smile bloomed across your face, releasing a swarm of butterflies right into his gut.    

He took a big sip of wine.    

"What about you? You’re planning a vacation soon, yeah?"    

"Somewhere without cellphone service."    

You laughed, shoulders rising as you did. "Oh man, that sounds good. Add that to my list too."    

Now he was sure it wasn’t the wine. The warmth in his cheeks was thanks to you. "We might end up at the same place if we aren’t careful."    

"Aw, that doesn’t sound too bad to me! If I were going somewhere with anyone, I would love for it to be you." Your eyes suddenly widened and you averted your gaze to the floor. That hadn’t meant to come out, then.    

Normally, he’d be more than willing to skim over slip ups for the other person’s sake. But the way you were fidgeting made him bold. At least he wasn't the only one nervous in this. "Me, huh? Why’s that?"    

You blinked, not quite meeting his eye but attempting to smile. "Oh, um, lots of reasons! Like, you’re neat so there probably wouldn’t be a scramble to find tickets or passports, ha. And then you’re pretty relaxed, so you would actually enjoy a vacation instead of using it as more time to work . . . Plus, getting to know each other away from the craziness . . . Um."    

He couldn't contain his amusement. "I'm neat?"    

You pressed your fingers to your forehead and groaned. "It’s a miracle I could get so many guests here, I know."    

"No, actually, the more I get to know you, the more I understand how you made such an impact on Saeyoung."    

"For real?" You peeked back at him again from the corner of your eye. He swallowed, heat creeping up his neck.    

With a blase shrug, he nodded. "Even when shit absolutely hit the fan, you kept your head. I've seen people break under pressure too many times to count, and usually take a few others with them, but you . . . Honestly, there were moments when I wondered if you weren’t an undercover agent with how well you dealt with it all."    

A shy little laugh bubbled from your lips. "Considering that I was running on nearly two weeks of no sleep?"    

He grinned. "A hallmark trait of agents."    

"Is that so? And here I was thinking Saeyoung was an outlier."    

"I think we can agree that he's still an outlier."    

A brief laugh at Saeyoung’s expense and then the conversation ebbed. Damn it, what now? He tugged at his cuffs, scanning the room to find something else to go on about. More than a few sets of eyes were settled on you . . . and him by proximity. These guests were just as nosy as Saeyoung, but at least the kid knew when not to be so goddamn obvious about it!    

A hand settling on his arm, snapping him from a glower. "Hey, would you want to step out for a second?" you whispered. "I need a break."   

"Um . . . Yes?" He cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah lead the way."    

Your hand slipped into his, and it was like a jolt of electricity went through his heart. He lagged behind for a second in shock before quickly falling into step with you. The smile that bloomed on your face was one he wanted to imprint in his head, so every time he closed his eyes it would be all he saw.    

You led him down the corridor to a set of doors that, when he opened, revealed a lounging area with floor-to-ceiling windows, plush seating, and a chandelier practically the size of the moon. He couldn’t believe he never thought twice about the RFA and their parties, that Saeyoung would be part of something so grand.    

And now he was part of it, too. With you.    

Your eyes glittered. "Gotta hand it to Jumin, he doesn’t skimp on anything."    

"He does seem like the type to go above and beyond." He let out a low whistle at the skyline view.    

"Gleaned that from his cat projects?" you joked, closing the doors.    

"My heart aches for Assistant Kang."   

You plopped down on the loveseat, toeing off your shoes with a relieved sigh and set your drink onto the end table. "I don’t know how she does it. So, um, are you alright?"    

"Me?" Well, if you kept staring at him like that he wouldn't be. He settled next to you, an arm's length away. "What do you mean?"    

"You were looking kind of flushed back there, I get if you're not used to being . . . in the spotlight."    

"Yeah, ha. I'm more of a private sort of person." But that wasn’t the only reason he was flustered . . .     

"So then you're probably careful about who you spend your time with, huh?"    

"That's true, but I don't completely shut people out."    

"I hope I'm not one of those people."    

He blinked. "You most certainly are not. I consider you someone who I can open up to, actually." He turned, draping his arm over the back of the couch. "You're someone who I want to know."     

Your lips parted in surprise for a beat, as if you hadn't expected such candor. But your voice was even as you said, "I'd love to know you, too. Who is the real Vanderwood? How's he take his coffee, if at all?"    

Tilting his head, he lifted his brows. "That's some pretty intimate stuff. Are you sure you can handle it? Wouldn't want to scare you off."    

He was rewarded with another bought of laughter from you.    

"I have a feeling I can handle whatever you throw my way, Vanderwood. Coffee preferences or otherwise."    

"Huh, then you wouldn't be opposed to getting drinks together?"    

"Nothing would make me happier."     

A sharp rap at the door had Vanderwood practically jumping to his feet, heart in his throat and fingers fumbling at his waist for his Tazer. In the time it was taking him to pull back into reality, to remember that this was a party and not a mission, you swept past him with a reassuring brush of the shoulder that grounded him. He dropped his hand, face burning.    

You opened the door without hesitation, pleasant and polite as you greeted the nondescript woman. None of the flirtiness from before. The woman was quick as she spoke, informing you that your presence was required in the closing ceremony, then she was gone again.

When you turned back around, you slumped like a puppet with slackened strings. "Well, back into the fray," you sighed, returning to step back into your shoes with a half-grimace. You took his offered arm to balance with.

"You're the star of the show, they would've caught us eventually," he said, trying to make light of the disappointment settling in his gut. 

"Star of the show is a little much," you quipped, "more like I'm one leg of the table."

He snorted. "Sure. A very desirable table leg."

You crinkled your nose. "Was that a compliment? We may have to work on those before getting drinks."

"Gladly." 

"Hey . . ." Your hand lightly squeezed his bicep, and even with a layer separating your skin from his, the touch sent electricity coursing through his veins. God, he was really in deep, wasn't he? "Thanks for keeping me company tonight."   

"I feel like I should be thanking you, though. For giving me a chance to be me." He outwardly cringed. "Jesus, I'm not this cheesy, am I?"    

"Hey, I for one am ready to accept the real you, cheesy lines, weird compliments, and all."

He chuckled, pulling you closer to his side. "Let's get you back before Saeyoung starts any rumors."

[mamasgonewalkabout-blog]

There & Back Again - A Tourist’s Tale

Townsville to Tanawha in Seven Days - The Adventure Continues

Well hello there (you good looking reader you). This week’s episode consists of our jaunt back down the coast of Queensland (after our grand Magnetic Island exploits). 

I believe we left off arriving in Townsville, which proved to be (unexpectedly) chalk full of good things. Our hotel’s oceanfront location proved to be a perfect base to explore “The Strand” It’s a beautiful esplanade boasting a multitude of parks, gardens, restaurants/pubs and shops (all along the water). And, the BEST Indian Food restaurant EVER. Delish!

Townsville also happens to be home to The Reef HQ - The Great Barrier Reef Aquarium. So, of course, we had to go check that out. I admit that having the glass between us allowed me to really  appreciate critters without being scared silly!

We checked out several very cool lectures in the theatre space (it was like being on a school field trip!) and managed to snag an invite to the Turtle Hospital, where we had the sincere honour of meeting some of the patients.

I gotta tell you, it was an experience I won’t soon forget. Seeing sea turtles up close, and learning about the horrible adversities these poor little guys face... Look, nature itself is hard enough on these guys, but man... Between ingesting our plastic crap (causing them to float and slowly starve) and our boat propeller’s cracking their shells (literally breaking their spines)... I felt guilty being a human being standing next to them! It was an eye opener for me. *Incidentally, Australia is banning the use of disposable plastic bags in grocery stores as of July.  We bought a water bottle and canvas bag from the Turtle Hospital too.  Perhaps the little steps will make a difference - here’s hoping!

So, that was our one day there. It was great. Finis. Then we started the looonnnnngg journey back down South - which we broke into 2 nights. First stop, Mackay.

 I gotta say, it didn’t knock my socks off (they barely lost their elasticity really). Now, in fairness, we arrived on a Sunday. And most of these towns hearken to the days gone by (Everything is CLOSED on Sundays) so it was a bit of an eerie ghost town. We wandered around for hours, waiting for a handful of restaurants to open for dinner. This turned into a bit of a fun game as we waltzed about all alone, like we owned the place, looking for anything interesting really! Seek and ye shall find!

Seriously, take a good look at some of those street view pics. Not another soul! CUE THE TUMBLEWEED! And then you look up and there’s a bazillion cameras..... For the crazy crowds??? (I hope they got my good side. Pretty sure if I have one, they caught it! lol)

We wound up hitting up the local theatre to watch the latest Avenger’s movie. And the answer to your questions are YES and YES. Yes, going to the movies is just as stupid expensive here as at home and Yes, they have a a whack of commercials prior to the movie too. It’s an epidemic! LOL

*Highly recommend the Avengers movie, btw. Plot is holier than Swiss Cheese but it’s an exciting, comedic and visually stunning ride.

So we said good bye Mackay and hit the road <Jack>. Next stop, the mining town of Gladstone. It had a cute little downtown core - BUT most everything was CLOSED... AGAIN <sigh>. Managed to find an open restaurant, ate a nice dinner & retired to the Motel (yes, I said MOTEL) Mmm hmmm, kickin it hardcore on a Monday night. All in all, it was fine. Hey, even the cockroach I discovered on the curtain in our room was friendly enough! 

 Good bye Gladstone!

Needless to say, we were ready to hit the road bright n’ squirrely for the final leg of our highway trip - Destination: Mount Coolum for a few days (please oh please, for the love of all things Holy, let it NOT be a ghost town!)

Okay now, remember how I mentioned that this highway was this long, desolate, life sucking thing that went on forever with nothing for 100′s of kilometers? Does that sound like a good place to run out of gas to you? Hmmm? 

This is where I so regret NOT taking a picture to punctuate the whole story. But, I just couldn’t do it! I felt taking a picture, while barely containing our laughter, would have been rude. I’ll try and keep this short (promise). In a nutshell:

- I didn’t get gas when I should of. Sue me!

- The dreaded ‘yellow’ you-got-no-more-gas-soon warning sign is now alight, causing John to lean over and look at it EVERY 5 SECONDS and remind me that we really need gas, and we probably should’ve filled up ‘back there’ (ya think????)

- We ask ‘the Google’ to find the nearest gas station and followed it’s direction down a road not fit for man nor beast (this is the part in the movie where someone dies... surely!) *I should mention that the next gas station shows as approx 70 kms away!

- As John is rattling off the merits of the town we’re about to come upon “It has a race track!”, we roll onto the main street. One. Dusty. Uninhabited. Street. Where any store that may have existed 1000 years ago is now something out of a museum exhibit. 

- The Google says we have now arrived at our destination. Imagine it. There’s a dilapidated HOUSE with a sun-faded sign on the side of it that looks like it may have said “GAS” at one time.. but now all you see is a faded “AS” (you have no idea how hard it is for me not to add that extra ‘S’!)

- So we keep going (there must be more down here, right?) and come to a dead end. That was it. We look at each other, say an expletive or two and turn around. “Might have to start knocking on doors and testing out that ‘Aussie Hospitality!”. Hmm... let’s take one more pass. Maybe we missed something?

- We take another pass, and bowl me over with a feather if there is not a single antique looking gas pump (on the frickin’ SIDEWALK!) in front of that old house (I cannot make this stuff up!) I don’t know how we missed it the first time?! So we park beside it. What have we got to lose, right????

- The price on the gas pump is $1.47/litre - today’s pricing... the door to the house is OPEN. What the what now?  Could it be true?? *If this is some sort of cruel joke by the locals looking for some fun - watching tourists try and get blood from a stone, I’m gonna be PISSED!

- I pick up the nozzle, it resets... ready to rock. EUREKA! We’re saved! I proceed into the ramshackle house, to pay, and am greeted by a friendly shopkeeper who runs the ‘store’. Oh yes, there’s one 2-litre jug of milk AND a single loaf of bread in the fridge for sale. AND there’s a cafe menu - fish n’ chips are on special, dontcha know! (OMG, I can’t even imagine how long that fish has been there!!!)

- I pay and we get set to leave. John and I just keep looking at each other like we may be sharing a hallucination. “The pump is on the sidewalk” John keeps mumbling. Should we have taken a picture? YES! Sorry. You’re just gonna have to trust me on this one... it was an experience!

Full of gas (of suspect age and origin) we eventually made it to Mt. Coolum - a beautiful National Park just minutes from the beach. The AirBnB space and our hosts were AMAZING!

Our hosts were so sweet, leaving us chalkboard notes every day:

We got to settle in and enjoy the best of all worlds again. The backyard of the house WAS the National Park and we were able to literally hike the mountain from there. It was a hell of a hike (think Grouse Grind) but well worth it!

Spent some time at Coolum Beach as well and did some body boarding. It was a great place to spend John’s birthday too :)

From Coolum we also drove the nearby town of Eumundi to check out their famous Market. It was huge! Must have taken up 6 square blocks and took us hours to navigate. *How much is a parking ticket in Eumundi? Oooh, I know this one! It’s $63 AUD. Yes it is :(

We had fun (despite the ticket) and found some cool items and lots of local artwork everywhere

And also went back to Noosa Heads (which is hard to photograph well - sorry!

All in all, our three nights in Coolum were lovely. Great food, beach, people, hiking... and it was such a nice surprise to find a little gift bag, on the hood of our car, upon our departure. How nice is this?

 Then it was off to Tanawha (again). We had stayed at a beautiful rainforest B&B at the beginning of our journey (which seems like a lifetime ago!) and both John and I had been sad to leave so soon. We’d really ‘clicked’ with our hosts Liz & Steve and frankly, it’s like a 5 star resort. It’s true!. I can hear that guy from Jurassic Park saying, “We spared no expense”. So we booked an encore with them for the next 4 nights to relax and explore the Hinterlands more.  (We’ve heard the drive/scenery is to die for). Upon our arrival in Tanawha, we were greeted with MORE GIFTS!

I don’t know if I can fit those paper flowers in my suitcase :( 

So, we’re now in the rain forest enjoying our hosts and getting ready to do MORE exploring of this beautiful country. I have actually unpacked (for the 1st time this whole trip! LOL) and am planning to milk these last few days to the last drop. It sounds like a fairytale, I know. So, I’ll admit, it’s not always this amazing feeling. There have been mornings when I really didn’t want to do anything. I’m in (what I consider paradise) and I feel BLEH. It’s happened. On more than one occasion. I miss my family. My friends. My cats. But I then remind myself that I better take advantage of opportunities (actually, I say ‘Pull your head out of your ass, it’s not a hat!’) and life goes on. Ces’t la vie :)

So, we’re in the final stretch!! Hope you’re still enjoying coming along for the ride! Hope to have more to share soon. Cheers!

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 030721

7 March, 2021

Dear Dad--

Today has gotten off to an auspicious start! Zach had a bad dream, which woke him up at 5:00 a.m., and when he tried to go back to sleep, Horta came into the room and started chirping for attention. It’s interesting that about two thirds of the time, it’s adorable when she does that. But the other third of the time, it makes him want to put her into a catapult and launch her into the sun. And since he was already cranky, he opted for the metaphorical catapult. Then he had to go to the grocery store, because it’s his turn, and he hates that, because if there’s any place where he’s going to catch Covid, it’s going to be the only public place he goes to any more, which is the grocery store. Then the store declined his debit card, even though he had sufficient funds, because this grocery store just does that sometimes. He had to put groceries on a different card, which fucks up another purchase he was going to use that card for.

Meanwhile, I’m just fine. Oh, I’m permanently stressed out over money, and I will be until I start getting paychecks again, but I don’t happen to be in mid-crisis right this minute. I spent the morning being a good spouse, cleaning the kitchen and making the bed, so Zach wouldn’t have to do it, thus (hopefully) providing the space needed to kick his foul mood, and it seems to be working. Now that he’s done catching Covid at the store, and we have more food in the house, the mood around here is considerably brighter.

Last weekend I vowed to do something over the next week that I could write about in this letter. In that endeavor, I failed utterly! Oh, several minor things happened, and the week wasn’t totally devoid of activity, but if I’d imagined taking a road trip to some scenic place and snapping a few awesome pictures...yeah, I did not do that. About the biggest event of this past week was getting turned down for emergency rent and utility assistance. That was a right proper kick in the happy sack.

What happened was this: I figured, since my retirement savings is about exhausted, and I haven’t found full-time online work yet, and I’m looking for online work because I haven’t been vaccinated yet, that the rental assistance program our landlords told us about might come in handy. I should get vaccinated in the next month or two, and this would help keep the bills paid until then. The problem was that we did not qualify, because we don’t count as people who have lost income due to Covid. We’ve only failed to gain income due to Covid, but no one got fired because of it. They also seem to assume that my retirement savings is large, if I was able to live off it for a year, and don’t seem interested in how small it may be now.

So...fair enough, ya buttholes. I shall accept it and move on. I’m applying for more jobs now. I have a phone interview on Tuesday for a job auditing at the local casino. That sounds like it might be fun! It’s not a job that involves customer interaction at all; it’s just a paperwork job, so I may be able to do it with a reasonable degree of safety, even if I have to start the job before I get vaccinated. It would be a place with TONS of workplace scrutiny involved; as with the customers, I assume everything I’ll ever do while working for a casino will be under surveillance video. Again, fair enough. Just make note where the video camera is that points at my desk, and learn which direction I have to turn, in order to scratch my nuts with discretion.

I’m not sure how a place like Bangor can even have a full-blown casino, given the size of the city, and the fact that Covid has been such a wrecking ball through the gaming and hospitality industries, but we do! It’s called Hollywood Casino Hotel & Raceway Bangor. Apparently the “raceway” part refers to a harness racing track it’s supposed to have, although I wasn’t aware that downtown Bangor had a casino AND a harness racing track, whatever the hell that is. (They get a bunch of harnesses and race them! I assume they put the harness on a horse.) I’ve already had one hilariously awkward conversation with the recruiter at the casino. I had applied for the position before I reached the point of actually wishing to get the job, so when the recruiter called me, I was earning money off Amazon MTurk doing timed jobs, I was right in the middle of one, and I was not prepared to make any decisions.

So he called to set up an interview, I didn’t know I wanted the job yet, and I was doing six things at once, and both cats picked that moment to assault me, and Zach came into the room. I believe I may have gotten my own name right, but little else. I figured the best option in that moment was to buy myself some time, so I asked if I could email him and let him know what I’d like to do. It felt very unimpressive. In theory, I suppose I’m supposed to respond by saying, “Yes, I want the job very much! Yes, I’d like to schedule an interview at your earliest convenience! Yes, I’m grateful for this opportunity to blah blah blah blah!”

So when I composed the email to the casino recruiter, whose name is Richard, I figured I already had one strike against me, and the chances of giving a good first impression had, by this point, shrunk to zero. I don’t mind being in that position, because it promotes honesty. I explained that, when he’d called, I was doing six things at once, including a series of timed jobs for Amazon, and so I wasn’t exactly prepared for the call. But I’m still interested in the position, and I’d be happy to set up an interview! I told him I didn’t have much experience auditing casino activity, but that I’m super fast with the computer, good with math, and I enjoy busywork. As it turns out, he wasn’t ready for me to answer the phone, either! When he wrote me back, after receiving my email, he said that he’d expected to leave me a voicemail and therefore was completely unprepared to actually speak to me. (Hooray! The call was a clusterfuck for both of us!) He suggested a few dates and times when we might interview over the phone, and we set it up.

If I get the job, I imagine what will happen is: I’ll drive to the casino every morning, walk past lots of desperate, sweaty gamblers, but I’ll feel great, because I know I’m going to leave the casino with more money than I came in with. I’ll go to a back office somewhere, under video surveillance, and I’ll work on Title 31 shit all day. Title 31 regulations are the ones for casinos that require them to track any transactions (money in or money out) greater than $10,000, for purposes of detecting and thwarting the use of casinos for money laundering. I looked it up.

So, wish me luck. In the meantime, I’m doing more timed jobs for Amazon. It is a very, very strange way to make money. The jobs I’ve been doing the most are for MIT in Cambridge. You are given four photos, and then the same four photos that have been altered in the same way. (Like...they’re all darker, or have more contrast, or less color saturation.) Your job is to describe that common change, including its emotional impact, in a sentence or two. “The scene has more contrast, with deeper reds and purples, and appears more dramatic,” e.g. That takes about 30 seconds, and you get 6 cents for doing it. Then you have it auto-load the next set of pics, and repeat. Like I said, it’s a weird--and slow--way to earn money, but it’s easy to sit down and bang out 100 of them, and earn $6.00. Other jobs are similar, but pay ten cents apiece, so you earn a bit more. Do it a few times a day, and it’s enough to keep the groceries paid for. Zach and I are both spending hours on it every day.

At least by next week I’ll be able to say how the casino interview went. I have no idea what it would actually be like to do this job, and to work in a casino, but I’m eager to find out. I can only assume their business is going to pick up as more people get vaccinated and places open for more customers. And if they don’t hire me, then I’ll just go poop on their harness track.

More excitement soon! All my love to you both.

[cardsvistas]

Seven Ways On How To Get The Most From This Sears Credit Card Phone Number | sears credit card phone number

The Sears abundance agenda was my aboriginal acclaim agenda ever. I got it in 1994 and accept had no issuers until recently. I don’t use it but already a year to accumulate it active. On Oct 23, 2019 accuse were answerable to my annual I didn’t apperceive until Oct 24, 2019 aback the artifice administration was texting me about a allegation I replied with the N for no. Again I got a buzz alarm allurement me if I answerable over 3,000 admirable in California I replied no. They said, “we are closing your annual and accepting you a new agenda to a new account.” I had no abstraction that any accuse were actually answerable to my card. Until I assuredly was able to get into my online annual and saw there were two accuse for over 3,500. This was ridiculous. They didn’t bolt this until the third attack in the aforementioned sears store.

Now aggregate is busted up cat-and-mouse on a new agenda and a new annual to be opened and the added one closed. They fabricated it assume like it was an accessible action actually not at all. I accept aback spent hours on the buzz with chump annual and the artifice administration of sears Citibank acclaim cards and accept been told annihilation that has actually happened the way they said. So this happened on 10/23/019 begin out on 10/24/19. On 10/26/19 I was aggravating to get into my annual with actually no luck. Spent 30 annual on the buzz with a babe from chump annual who told me that the accuse would be taken off my agenda aural 72 hours. I still couldn’t get into my annual so I kept aggravating with no luck.

I alleged aback to chump annual on 10/30/19 this was it for me. I spent over 3 hours of my activity accepting boilerplate and told altered advice every time. 45 annual with a babe who knew annihilation and should of put addition on the buzz with me who did. I afraid up on her accepting no area actuality told I couldn’t get into my annual until I accustomed the new agenda that was alone beatific out the day above-mentioned on 10/29/19 and it could booty 7-10 days. I alleged the artifice department. There I batten to addition who fabricated me feel alike worse. She was allurement me aback was your agenda stolen. I replied it wasn’t. I accept it appropriate actuality and she was adage things like she didn’t accept why the accuse were still on my annual and so on.

I concluded up accepting off with her calling aback to chump annual and requesting to allege to a supervisor. A nice guy gets on the buzz and says he has both my accounts accessible in advanced of him and told me I was bound out of my new annual for 24 hours because the babe above-mentioned had adapted my buzz number. Whatever, I had enough. He alleged to the artifice administration to see why the two accounts were still accessible and the accuse transferred to my new account. I concluded up actuality transferred to addition artifice being and told that this is the way it’s done. The absolute analysis takes up to 90 canicule and that one allegation had already been removed the aboriginal bulk but still cat-and-mouse on the added one to appear off. She told me that already the analysis is complete they amend the acclaim bureaus with the artifice annual and again accept the new annual on there.

So I assuredly got into my online annual bygone and afflicted my countersign but I can’t do annihilation abroad it’s bound for my protection. I can’t get into my annual I accept had aback 1994 but somehow addition was able to use my advice to allegation over 3,500 annual of stuff. I don’t understand. I’m the buyer of the annual and I can’t alike get into it. So now afterwards the alarm today I am closing my annual already this analysis is over. I’m done. I will booty the hit to my 850 acclaim annual for closing an account. I can’t accord with this anymore.

So I get my new card, I alarm the cardinal to actuate the card, it transfers to a being who asks me a agglomeration of questions that chronicle to my annual aegis questions things like that. I’m ok with it until he has to put me on authority and comes aback asks me some added questions and again tells me he can’t actuate my card. I will either accept a alarm or a letter answer what I allegation to do. I had to authority back. I’m so aggravated. So I accept a new account, a new agenda and I can’t use it.

I’m done with this. I’m closing this annual as anon as I can. I cannot accept that addition who doesn’t accept any of my advice except the acclaim agenda advice can allegation but I can’t alike actuate my new card. This agenda is horrible. Citibank has consistently been abhorrent and abounding years ago I had an affair with them so I bankrupt my annual and I should accept bankrupt this one already sears had to be taken over by Citibank. I achievement this helps anyone who is attempting to get acclaim with this bank. It is horrible. I can accept attention me and my new annual but this is ridiculous. I had every active accessible arrested on my annual and they didn’t alike bolt it until the third attack and now I’m the one adversity because of it. Don’t get a Citicard or Sears Citibank.

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With abounding of us alive from home for the accountable future, videoconferencing has become a analytical allotment of our able and alike claimed lives. While there are several accoutrement accessible for alien workers to use, such as Skype, Google Meet, or Webex, Zoom is one of the best, best stable, and easiest apps to use for basal meetings.

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Most of us are accustomed with the basics of application Zoom, but did you apperceive that there are abounding added chic accoutrement accessible for hosts to use, alike with a chargeless basal account?

Take your alien affairs to the abutting akin with these accoutrement to appoint and alike affect your colleagues, clients, and friends. We’ve additionally included links to Zoom’s abutment folio with step-by-step instructions to advice you alpha application these accoutrement in no time.

Ever begin yourself in a bearings area you spent adored affair annual cogent a aide to Press that button over there—no, not that one—that one, on the right!? Zoom’s Remote Desktop Control is the acknowledgment to your problem.

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This affection allows affair participants to appeal or allotment ascendancy over abstracts on their screen, or alike their computer. This is abnormally advantageous for accommodating with colleagues on abstracts and presentations, troubleshooting on addition user’s device, or alike assuming your parents how to do article on their computer, alike back you’re far from home.

Many times, artlessly talking or authoritative gestures in advanced of your computer’s camera isn’t abundant to get your point beyond in a basal meeting. This is area the annotation function becomes useful.

Similar to Alien Desktop Control, this affection allows affair participants to accompany absorption to a accurate aspect on the awning actuality shared, but after accepting to be accepted admission to their awning or device. The comment toolbar lets them admit text, draw shapes or lines, add icons like stars or checkmarks with the Stamp Tool, or about-face their cursor into a spotlight or arrow.

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Proper Zoom amenities entails participants muting their audio back it’s not their about-face to speak. But what if addition aback calls your attention, and your microphone is still on mute?

Instead of averseness for the actual button on your screen, artlessly use Zoom’s Push to Talk feature by captivation bottomward the spacebar on your computer. This action is accessible on the desktop adaptation of the app, and can be enabled in your settings. Pressing Alt A on your keyboard additionally allows you to aphasiac and unmute your audio easily, after accepting to columnist the spacebar.

One of Zoom’s lesser-known appearance is the advantage to accredit participants to breakout rooms. As the affair host, you can bisect your affair into abate groups of up to 50 above-mentioned to the alpha of your meeting. Participants can altercate abreast aural their abstracted groups, and ping the host if they charge assistance. This apparatus is abnormally advantageous for businesses or educational lectures that crave team-based activities.

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If you’re presenting to clients, it’s not a actual acceptable attending for you to be ambience up your presentation while they’re already in the meeting. Zoom’s waiting allowance function allows you to ascendancy which participants get to accompany the meeting, and absolutely when. With a pro account, you can alike adapt how the cat-and-mouse allowance looks by abacus a bulletin or a logo that affair participants will see afore you let them in. This affection is additionally advantageous for HR professionals who are queuing interviewees, or bloom professionals managing their accessories with alone patients.

This article originally appeared in Good Side News.

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A aculation of Chinese women with admirers by columnist Afong Lai (circa 1880). Photo: Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 2.0)

If you’ve anytime spent time in China during the summer, you apparently anamnesis seeing bodies on the streets bouncing their handheld admirers in an attack to exhausted the heat. But the acceptable Chinese folding fan is not aloof a apparatus for cooling down. It’s an important allotment of the Chinese ability that has over 3,000 years of history.

Some historians accept that it was absolutely the Japanese who advised the folding fan afterwards actuality aggressive by bat wings. The apparatus was after alien to the Chinese and anon became an basic appearance accent to both the affluent and alive cl.

Read on to apprentice the history of this accessible device.

The history of the Chinese fan dates aback to over 3,000 years ago, about the Shang Absolutism (circa 1600 – 1046 BCE). Named Shanhan, one of the age-old accepted “fans” wasn’t like the hand-held ones we still see today. These were angry to a horse-drawn carrying and acclimated to block the calefaction of the sun and apartment cartage from the rain (much like today’s umbrella). However, the Shanhan anon acquired into a long-handled fan alleged the Zhangshan. Fabricated of thin, yet tough, cottony or bird feathers, this blazon of fan was mainly acclimated by the emperor’s account bouncer for decoration. It wasn’t until the Zhou Dynasty, added than 2,000 years ago, that bodies started application folding admirers to air-conditioned down.

The “

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I’m talking accommodating acme and bottoms, suits, and my accepted favorite, cardigan accompanying sets. These matchy-matchy looks, which are generally from the ’90s and further back, accompany me joy — they accomplish a statement, are adorable to the eye, and appealing abundant ensure you’ll attending put-together. But, best importantly, they’re accessible to wear. Your accouterments is already complete, and all you accept to do is put it on.

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Story continues

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Changes

~4/21? I think my mindset shifted a lot this past week, especially after staying with Matt and his family for a few days. Admittedly, I used to be very fearful of going outside to public spaces and be extra cautious every time I did take out. For example, my family and I have “outside clothes” and “inside clothes”. I would immediately toss my “outside” clothes into my laundry basket when I arrived home from the market or picking up food, even if I was out for just 5 minutes. My parents were against me doing any uber eats or takeout. They believed home cooked food was the best during this time and refused to eat non-homemade food. My mom left the house less than 2 times this past month. My dad is less fearful - he’s gone out multiple times a week (to buy food and for work) and doesn’t really care, but my mom and I always gave him shit for doing so. I felt like a huge hypocrite going out to see Matt, and was afraid of how my family would react. 

I’m really awkward whenever talking about love or romantic partners with my family - especially after what happened with my last parter. I’m avoidant. So I ended up only telling my mom I was going to leave to see Matt 30 minutes before I actually did pack up to go, which was very bad on my part. She was heartbroken and was super fearful and asked “can you not?”. She later called me during the car ride and told me not to come home for a month. Hearing that made Matt feel guilty, and he called my mom’s idea stupid. We got into a huge argument, with me trying to defend my family. I found out later there was some underlying resentment, where he felt like my family treats him like second-rate, which is probably my fault because I choose not to talk about partners to my family. 

4/25- it’s now been over a week that Matt has been home and I’ve seen his family every single day even on the days that we were staying at the Airbnb. Things have been kinda tense between us (I think he’s being mean to me, he thinks I’m mean to him). I realize that this is due to several issues:

- Quarantine/pandemic stresses: he’s a frontline worker in the epicenter of covid and working at one of the hardest hit hospitals. Even though he doesn’t verbally acknowledge his feelings and pretends he’s ok, he’s definitely more stressed out than usual. During this time, he’s even more sensitive to any criticism I have. He used to take it all (mostly), but he’s been retaliating more often recently. On his end, he feels that his whole life is a sacrifice, and he’s working extremely hard especially during this scary time - why do I have to criticize him during his vacation? I should just let him enjoy himself. 

-Attention: We’re staying with his family during this time, so it’s his time to catch up with everyone. He’s also catching up with his friends online. Because these are the people he rarely talks to (he calls me everyday vs. calling family for like 5 min once a week, and never calling/texting his friends), I have become last on the priority list in attention during his vacation. I keep telling myself it’s fine. However, because I’m also the person he is closest to, I feel like it’s me who puts up with his shit the most. Then I question, why do I have to be so nice to someone who is not very fit as a good partner (due to residency, especially during a time like covid), and on top of that has to be rude to me? I started feeling salty about that. 

- Lack of comfort: not to be ungrateful, but I realize that staying at someone else’s home for an extended period of time is stressful, even more so under quarantine. I’m not carefree at his home, and I feel like I have to be on my best behavior/ “professional” around his parents. I lose structure in my daily life and I always have to depend on someone else. I have a few articles of clothing I’m wearing over and over lol. His dad generously gave us his room (because it’s attached to a restroom). However, we’re sleeping on an old spring mattress that creeks with every movement. We’ve had to have quiet, inhibited sex lol. 

Anyway, I’m PMSing - 6 days before my period. I hate that I tend to PMS during the times that we have to spend together. I know my concerns are legit, but PMS can make it seem worse/more dramatic than what it is. I was watching Insecure season 4 yesterday, and there was a scene that stuck out to me. Issa’s best friend Molly (who has been single for quite some time) started dating a guy that she really likes. A few weeks later, she got upset that he wasn’t opening up to her. Issa asked something along the lines of “do you actually wanna be happy? you keep looking for problems.” Hearing that kinda put things into perspective for me, as I tend to focus on the negatives than see things as a whole.

Let’s focus on positive things:

- Having a partner in healthcare feels like having the fastpass in an amusement park. Going to costco and beating the line. Free stuff/food everyday. His mom is a PT at USC and she’s received free food, free orchids, free tangerines, etc. I stopped feeling guilty about being out for non-essential things (like going out for take out multiple times a day), because my doctor partner deserves it. When I return to my life at home, I’m not going to do this anymore. Also, he had a healthcare worker discount at the north face, and bought a jacket for me, his mom, and himself.

- Running. The men in his family are all into running. His dad is almost mid-60s and runs 5 miles multiple times a week. His teenage brother runs 7-9 miles like everyday. Matt used to run a lot too, and was the top runner in high school. That’s why even though he’s fat now, it’s only his upper body that is actually fat. His lower body still has that runner’s physique. I went out to the trail with them 3 times already. It’s hard because I have allergies in this weather, and also it’s damn hot. But I was able to run 3.5 miles last time. I’ll try for 4 today. 

- Everyday, his parents always ask him what I want to eat. They’re so accommodating, especially his dad. Tea is sacred to his dad, and he never really shared before. No one else in his family was interested in tea either. But because I showed interest and love tea, he’s been asking me multiple times a day - do you want tea? Do you want wine? LOL. He buys breakfast everyday - dimsum, burger king, mcdonalds, chinese breakfast, etc. They always make sure I am fed.

4/30 - after I wrote my last blurb, everything started going uphill. We both became more understanding of each other, and more forgiving. He became more relaxed, I became more relaxed. We were able to have fun again. to highlight the fun times that i had with him and his family:

- the first or second day i was over at his parents house, his dad offered me some tea, but i declined because it was already late and i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to sleep. i asked if we could take some tea leaves to go since were staying at an airbnb at the time. matt says he’s protective of his tea. i think he was a little shocked when i first asked him, because no one in his family is interested in tea, but he gave me like 2 bags initially. his mom was like GIVE HER MORE, GIVE HER 10. SHE IS LIKE FAMILY. i felt a little awkward but i love me some tea. 

- did so. much. takeout in 13 days. the first couple days I was still kinda paranoid about going out, but by the last day it felt like NBD to me. Got to eat poke, sugarfish sushi, nabemono hot pot, pho x3, banh mi, boba everyday, ramen x2 (men oh, ramenhood), burgers x3 (in n out, bunz, the win-dow), sugar cane x2, taro cake, yin ji chang fen, thai, philz, dim sum etc. it was reminiscent of our lifestyle whenever we went on vacation. we were still fatasses during quarantine. 

- played board games with his brother and mom. played poker with the family and his dad. his younger brother and i lost early on cause we suck, but he and his dad continued playing for another hour and a half or so - matt ended up winning. but it was very nice to see them spend time together as spending time playing games like that was never a thing in their family

- i helped his family take some cute family photos (with and without masks on). his mom likes taking family photos and usually gets to do so on family trips, but said they didn’t get any this year because of the quarantine. the boys aren’t big fans of photos either so she took advantage of me being there. i was also part of a few family photos!

- made charcuterie boards for his family. they really enjoyed it. 

- i spent some quality time with his 88 year old grandma. she mostly does her own thing (which is being babysat by an ipad), but one day i made her draw with me by following youtube tutorials - we drew a flower, mickey mouse, a cat, and a monkey together. she asked me to save a video so she can continue doing it and get better. another day, i wanted to have her write/read in english and chinese. his mom found an elementary chinese workbook and she ended up teaching me. the material was very easy and she was like “uh you’re already very good” lol. i then switched the roles and asked her to write in english - she was surprisingly very good and could write quite quickly. as an assignment, i asked her to write a letter to matt. it was precious. it took me back to the days where i would teach english to chinese seniors. i took a pic of them using my instax camera, and she really loved it. 

- watched farewell with his grandma, brother, and mom. we already watched it once before so he was sitting in the back only paying half attention. his brother was immediately into it and got emotional at times. at one point, he had to stand up and go towards the back of the room because the emotions were too much to handle. matt said his brother was tearing up. his mom said that watching their family was very relatable and it reminded her of her own family. i tried watching this film with my mom and grandma, but they didn’t get it and found it boring. it was nice to watch a chinese-american film with a chinese family to get that commentary.

- ran/walked/jogged at the trail a total of 20 miles during my stay there

- did home work outs - yoga, blogilates and peloton HIIT with him, his family and friends. we did echo park steve’s yoga one day too. his mom enjoyed peloton yoga and blogilates and asked me to save the videos for her. 

- in the first few days, his mom kept repeating “life is beautiful”. the first day, we cheered to him still being alive lol. (not funny and his mom was sleepless a few nights due to worrying, but i think it’s gonna be ok)

- news so I can remember: 3 programs in cali reached out to matt during his vacation, asking if he’s still interested in interviewing for a PGY-2 program. loma linda was one of them and would have been an amazing program to be a part of. it was a very hard decision, but he declined. he had already signed a contract with brooklyn, and this would require him to speak to his program director about his interest in switching programs. not a good look if you don’t actually get into the program. 

- his parents (moreso mom) is an avid, adventurous traveler. they had plans to go to africa this year and talked about rescheduling. she included matt and i in the plans to go next year and said “the four of us”. matt brought up norway instead, since that’s more doable. so we settled on going to norway as a family. 

- went with matt’s dad to drop him off at LAX yesterday morning at like 6:30am. he then dropped me at home, and officially met my mom for the first time. they shook hands and he told my mom “connie is so nice”. LOL. 

After coming home yesterday, my mom bombarded me with questions about matt and his family. and then asked about our future and whether we are thinking of marriage. she is against me moving to nyc during this pandemic, and i hate how uncertain everything is right now. she also thinks that i should be engaged before i uproot my life to move over to be with him. i agree to an extent, but i also understand if he is not ready. it is crazy that we have now been long distance longer than being together in person, and with this pandemic, i’m not sure how long that’s gonna continue. i found out that my mom feels ashamed of me going to stay at a boy’s house for that long. a boy i am not engaged/married to. she doesn’t say it but the actions make me seem slutty to traditional people. she hid the information from my brother and SIL - i think because she would be ashamed if the info leaked out to her parents. that is why she keeps pushing the idea of marriage/engagement on me. 

I took yesterday to kinda get used to being back at home, and felt quite sad to detach from my “second family”. In a way, even though it wasn’t always comfortable or easy, I at least felt I wasn’t stagnant. It was like a “bootcamp” to fit in with someone else’s family, their routines, and their daily lives. I’m also happy that I was pushed to run. They eat pretty heavy food, and they all overeat, but they also exercise a lot. My family portions well and eats very clean, but has milder workouts. Sometimes they intentionally skip meals to lose/maintain weight, whereas my family would throw a fit if we didn’t have food at a certain time. Their family is larger (130-190lbs), whereas my family is like (110-150 lbs)? After coming back home and eating my mom’s very clean food, I felt it wasn’t as tasty and I started craving heavier food lol. I think it would be beneficial for me to eat/live like their family for a few months (to gain weight and be stronger), and for matt to eat like my family to lose weight. 

When we were eating takeout ramen one day, his mom mentioned that he never used to eat carbs. When he was at home and had a workout routine, it was just protein and veggies. I realize that without me, he probably wouldn’t be such a fatass lol. He said he would probably be too lazy to go out to eat, especially if he didn’t have a partner. I remembered that before meeting me, his diet would be soylent and protein bars. We’ve come a long way.

Anyway, I’m finally getting back into my routine at home. It’s kinda boring now, but I’ll adjust. I did only the minimum for work these past two weeks, and now UC Path is down for a week, meaning I can’t really do much work. I’m taking a half day tomorrow, using COVID admin pay. My tomato plants grew a lot. My ginger may have sprouted a little, but my strawberries seem like they’re a fail. Finally applied for PUA for my uncle, hope he will be receiving a paycheck soon. Supposed to get my period really soon so I’ve been feeling pretty lazy. I may start running outside on my own. 

I’m worrying less about covid now. I used to freak myself out by reading the news everyday and following the subreddit, but looking at statistics, I feel ok. 

[scotiaeire]

Ah, Monday....

I don’t know why folks hate Mondays so much. Ok, so when I was working (self employed and before, for bosses which I hated so that’s why I went self employed!) it was always great to have the weekend off, but I’ve never hated Mondays.

I came close to death twice in life (operations, heart arrhythmia and reaction to GA) so it left me with a  healthy appreciation of every day. And Mondays are a human construct. The world wasn’t birthed with the days named and a workforce in place. Just saying.

Today though, I’ll be working on a drain. I’m doing the wee repairs on our Irish cottage myself, apart from those it’d be dangerous for me to do (such as repairing a few of the attic floorboards, because, well, blind in one eye, so climbing and balance and me, kinda stupid really) and will blog about that later.

Just struck me what a rivetting blog this is (see what I did there? “riveting”)...repairing drains. Sorry to anyone reading this! But after so much time spent fighting governments and Brexit and exile etc, this is my Utopia. Sedate, calm, domesticity with the occasional bit of weirdness thrown in (I AM a bit weird for an auld wifie, so fair warning when things like Barbarian pulp novels, sword and sorcery, Viking Age reenactment and various other interests pop up. Oh aye, I’m pagan/heathen too, so there’s that as well) but mostly it’ll be repairing drains and working on the overgrown field behind the cottage.

And, unashamedly gushing about how much in love with Ireland I am. I fought for two, three years to remain in my native Scotland, terrified of where we’d end up or if we’d be kept together as a family. Now I wish I’d “let go” sooner and moved here earlier. It’d have saved a lot of high blood pressure and ill health.

Anyways, why, you may ask yourself, do I have a pic of a handsome Witcher on a horse? Because I’m watching and loving the show. Apart from the script. That episode with the dwarves on the dragon hunt, for example. Ok, Scots (including my own self) do tend to swear a lot. But this was like a competition..how many swears can you fit in a sentence.

I’m auld enough to prefer a script with words that actually mean things. That’s my one gripe about the show. Most of all, I love the music. I came to watching The Witcher from watching an earlier Polish version from around 2001, I think, called The Hexer. Same story, based on the books. And hey, they had decent scriptwriters. You got actual words. Dialogue. And Geralt didn’t fuck everything in sight every episode. Just saying.

Both the Polish and the new series music is fantastic however, and there are some kind folks on Youtube who put whistle tutorials up for some of it, so I’ve been learning those yesterday. Can now play Kaer Morhen, and Toss A Coin To Your Witcher. Seriously obscenely proud of myself at that. Smug as a cat wi the cream.

(watch me forget how to play them by tomorrow....)

A lot of damn great music is found in games, tv shows and films. It’s often underrated. Jesper Kyd (Assassins Creed, Darksiders etc) for one, and of course Jeremy Soule (Skyrim, Elder Scrolls...) and it’s beautiful. Also Inon Zur, who did the music for Champions of Norrath and other games.

(forgot to mention, I’m also a gamer, aye, even at my age, sorry if that offends younger folks. Hope not. I’m not *that* great at it!)

So that was my day yesterday, relaxing, practising music (not ALL gaming/show stuff however...also some Irish tunes including Dunmore Lasses, one of my favourites and The Parting Glass)

So, if ye liked Game of Thrones..and I did, books and show..ye also might like The Witcher. Don’t expect stunning script, but the look and sound of it, plus production values, is pretty spot on imo.

Just, can tv show producers PLEASE bring back scriptwriters who can write actual dialogue. Aw, go on. Some of us still remember what actual words mean....

(PS..Roach: Star of the show....)

[weliveourdream]

Hola everyone.

Oh my god, I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, I’m so so so sorry for not posting anything for so long. But, and here comes the biggest news of, like, ever, I didn’t get to write anything as I moved to London a few days ago. I moved to London. I now live in London. London has become my home. No matter how many times and in whichever way I say it to myself, I’ll probably never realize it a hundred percent. I can’t believe is this is really happening. It feels like a dream.

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You can probably guess that this is what today’s post is going to be about because I can’t even put into words how happy I am ever since I came here, so I have to share this happiness. It has literally been the best time ever. First of all, I have to say that this, the move to London and the ability to call London my home, has been one of my biggest goals for over 10 years. I remember when I first came to London, during a school trip, I immediately fell in love with the city. It was then that I knew that this place was where I wanted to live, where I wanted to spend my life, even if it would just be a part of it. So I dreamed about London for years and years and years and worked my butt off to get where I am right now. Whether it was my uni degree or just actively talking to people and going to places to make it happen, I did everything I could to have my dream become reality. And now, after so many years, I’m finally able to call this amazing city, this heaven of a place, this absolute dream, my home. And I could cry just thinking about it.

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Whenever I leave the house now, where I live with my best friend, just to mention that, – which obviously makes everything so much better and easier and even more perfect – I always get this sudden shock when the realization of where I am hits me. And with every step I take and every day I spent in this city, I fall more and more for it. It’s just so damn perfect. The architecture, the possibilities, the cinemas, the concerts, the people, the shops, the restaurants, just everything about it. It’s all so perfect. And now I live here and am able to take part in and make use of all of it. Just like that. How crazy is that? Also, I have to add that we also live together with the cutest cat and dog and I am so in love, this is literally more than I could’ve ever wished for (besides being able to shrink my house plus my family and take them with me).

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I also started uni today, which, unsurprisingly, was absolutely amazing as well. You know, even after having decided to transfer to London, I was still worried a bit that I maybe had made the wrong choice. But oh no. The building is awesome, the teachers seem super lovely and motivated and so far the class has been super nice as well. I was a bit nervous walking into a class of people who’ve already spent a year together, but in reality, I didn’t feel weird at all. And, in the end, it’s just uni. The most important part is to enjoy the time and make the most of it. And I’m so planning on doing that. Also, I think I’m probably one of the only students who are actually happy to be back at university. In all honesty, I really did miss it. So much. The lectures and the teachers and just the learning. The truth is, once you actually get to study something you really enjoy and love, even a 9am lecture is fun. It’s all about loving what you do.

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And now I’m sitting in my room, in the middle of Brixton, and I still can’t really fathom that I’m really here, with Leni just a few stairs away and the city welcoming me with open arms and waiting for me to explore it. I can only think of the future and of all the exciting things that are going to happen and, honestly, I can’t wait. This is exactly where I need to be. London is finally mine and it feels good to be home. Finally.

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Of course, I am planning on taking you all with me on this journey in and through London, so please stay tuned for more exciting adventures. Obviously, if you’ve got any questions, please don’t hesitate to leave them and your other thoughts down below. I’m so happy that I get to share all of this with you and I really look forward to more. But until then I wish you all an amazing week and hope that you’re doing good. And, as always, thanks for reading. x

Ps: Ed just opened his own bar called Bertie Blossoms in Notting Hill and obviously I had to visit it as soon as possible. It’s literally the cutest place ever. Might have to save up some money to have dinner there some time. It’s a must, let’s be real. Pics are below.

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Finally, London Hola everyone. Oh my god, I don't even know where to begin. First of all, I'm so so so sorry for not posting anything for so long.

[lindyhunt]

The 8 Instagram Accounts With the Most Followers -- And What Marketers Can Learn From Them

After Facebook bought Instagram in 2012, the app has evolved from a fun social network for selfies and brunch pics to something much more impactful: marketing’s top platform for visual content.

Since they introduced key product updates like video, stories, and IGTV, Instagram now boasts over 1 billion monthly active users who spend close to an hour scrolling through the app each day they log in.

Instagram’s popularity lets most brands forge an emotional connection with a massive audience, and some brands are so good at visually engaging and resonating with Instagram users that they’ve attracted tens of millions of followers.

Let’s check out this list of the eight brands with the most Instagram followers and examine their content to learn exactly how they’ve built cult-like followings.

Quick note:

This post is about the business accounts with the most Instagram followers. The eight Instagram accounts with the most followers all belong to celebrities, so, since we predominately write about marketing, we thought this would be a more relevant topic.

Top Instagram Accounts

Instagram

National Geographic

Nike

Real Madrid

9GAG

NASA

NBA

Chanel

Marketing Takeaways from the Top Accounts on Instagram

1. Instagram

Followers: 246 Million

Instagram sets a great example for brands who truly want to engage an audience on their app. By curating and reposting their users’ most captivating content on their own profile, Instagram shows their followers that everyday people can meet their creative and artistic potential on the platform. This inspires brands and normal Instagram users to spend the time and effort required to craft visually gripping content that will instantly hold an audience’s attention.

  Photo by @george_and_troja Hello, world! Meet today's #WeeklyFluff: Troja (@george_and_troja), an Irish setter mix who can often be found exploring the majestic Norwegian outdoors. “We live close to the countryside with the forest as our backyard, so she has been running between the trees since she was little,” says George, Troja’s human. “Troja wasn’t the most social or the strongest pup, but after years of challenging her to explore new things, see new places and meet other dogs and people, she has grown into a playful dog with an equal amount of passion for adventure and snacks.”

A post shared by Instagram (@instagram) on Aug 9, 2018 at 11:09am PDT

Instagram also does a good job of promoting their stories and IGTV show about celebrities, wildlife, and other culturally relevant topics. They post original content that highlights upcoming episodes, but the posts read more like a feature story than an advertisement, which sparks more interest in the show.

  “Tokyo is my second home,” says Pharrell Williams (@pharrell), who recently spent a day in the city stopping in on some of his favorite spots. “The city has had this incredible impression on me since the first time I came here. It feels like going to another world, where humility is so thick in the air; as soon as the humidity hits you when you get off the plane, so does the humility. The people have an incredible appreciation for others, and they are some of the most amazing collectors of not just things, but also experiences.” Join Pharrell as he shops, eats and strolls in Tokyo, today on our story and on our IGTV channel. To watch IGTV, update your app now, then look for the new icon in the top right corner of feed.

A post shared by Instagram (@instagram) on Aug 15, 2018 at 11:50am PDT

2. National Geographic

Followers: 90.1 Million

National Geographic hires the most talented photographers in the world, so their Instagram posts of landscapes, cityscapes, and the surrounding life always seem to be awe-inspiring. But their stunning visuals aren’t the only reason why they’ve attracted over 90 million followers.

National Geographic is a historic magazine that's famous for their credible journalism and compelling storytelling, so in each post’s caption, they are able to craft fascinating narratives about the photo or video, usually in a way that spreads awareness for a relevant environmental issue.

  Photo by @beverlyjoubert. Staring straight into the amber eyes of a lion will always awaken a part of me that knows instinctively that I am not the true predator here. And yet - people's amazing ability with tools and intelligence has made our species stronger by far and we are outcompeting every other predator on the planet. Lions are iconic - strong and proud and symbols of power throughout the world. But there are now more statues of lions in the world than there are real lions. Only around 20 000 remain, scattered in ever-smaller patches of wilderness. It's worth noting this decline this #WorldLionDay but also noting that we have the ability to halt and reverse it when we put our minds to it. Nine years ago, together with @dereckjoubert, and National Geographic, we set up the Big Cats Initiative as a long-term effort to halt the declineof big cats in the wild. The initiative supports efforts to save big cats through assessment, on-the-ground conservation, education, and global public-awareness campaigns. To date, this has supported more than 110 innovative projects in 28 countries that are helping big cats and communities thrive - all working to keep these wild eyes alight across Africa, ready to pierce our souls with the truth about who we really are. To learn more about the #BigCatsInitiative or to help, please visit natgeo.org/bigcats. #bigcatconservation #WorldLionDay2018 #CauseAnUproar #TheEyesHaveIt

A post shared by National Geographic (@natgeo) on Aug 10, 2018 at 12:51pm PDT

National Geographic also uses Instagram Stories, Stories Archive, and IGTV to drive traffic to featured articles and videos on their website. But they also know their followers prefer not to leave the app. So instead of using gimmicky visuals and clickbait copy to coax people into visiting their website, they actually summarize the feature article or video in their stories and IGTV shows.

For marketers, National Geographic’s Instagram strategy clarifies that it’s crucial to meet your audience where they are, and not force them to go somewhere just because you want them to go there. If people end up clicking through to your website, that’s great. But you should be more than willing to educate your audience where they want to be educated, even if it results in a lower amount of traffic.

3. Nike

Followers: 79.5 Million

In the advertising industry, Nike is known for their motivational ads that inspire athletes to believe in themselves and work as hard as possible to meet their full potential. On Instagram, the iconic brand’s content follows this theme, with posts in the form of short films, documentaries, and inspirational videos and photos. Nike also uses Instagram to update their followers with quick news about the sports world, proving that they deeply understand their audience’s interests and desires.

  MJ never lost, he learned. #WinLike96

A post shared by nike (@nike) on Dec 8, 2017 at 8:00am PST

4. Real Madrid

Followers: 62.1 Million

Real Madrid is arguably the most popular soccer team in the world, so most of the team's Instagram posts update their massive fan base on scores, highlights, and transactions.

But the way they attract and engage twice as many Instagram followers compared to other teams with similarly sized fan bases isn’t through standard updates. They’ve built their enormous following by giving their fans an inside look of the team’s everyday activities through player takeovers and practice highlights on IGTV.

Breaking down these barriers between fan and player makes Real Madrid’s fan base feel like they actually know their favorite players on a personal level, which develops a more intimate and loyal relationship between the two.

  👟⚽💥 UNSTOPPABLE! @Marcelotwelve | #RMCity

A post shared by Real Madrid C.F. (@realmadrid) on Aug 7, 2018 at 4:41am PDT

5. 9GAG

Followers: 46.3 Million

With plenty of dog, cat, and baby videos, SpongeBob references, and jokes that are almost too relatable, 9GAG has one of the funniest accounts on Instagram.

Their Instagram stories and Stories Archives engage their audience well too -- they post a ton of polls about topics that everyone has an answer for like “Is soup a food or a beverage?” and “Would you travel to the past or future?”.

  We are all one bee sting away from Benedict Cumberbatch. #9gag #adaptimproviseovercome

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Aug 7, 2018 at 2:14pm PDT

They also use Instagram stories to drive traffic to their website by asking their followers to swipe up and see if they correctly guessed the name of a TV show or movie with only emojis as clues. On IGTV, they generate even more brand engagement by letting their followers ask questions during live Q&As with celebrities.

As the only online content platform on this list, 9GAG proves to marketers that  interacting with your audience is one of the best ways to engage them, develop a relationship with them, and attract more followers like them.

6. NASA

Followers: 34.7 Million

Scrolling through NASA’s Instagram feed makes you feel a little like an astronaut floating through the depths of space. You’ll experience intimate views of different planets, constellations, and supernovas in the Milky Way galaxy, all of which are taken by NASA’s spacecrafts and Hubble Space Telescope.

  This could be the biggest ghost in the universe.👻 A new image from our Spitzer Space Telescope shows leftover signs of an exploded star, or supernova. Spotted in the Milky Way galaxy, this is the largest known supernova remnant at 150 light-years in diameter and it’s possibly one of the oldest: Astronomers estimate the original explosion may have happened anywhere from 80,000 to one million years ago. Our Spitzer Space Telescope that spotted this fading ghost of a long-dead star is one of our four Great Observatories -- along with the Hubble Space Telescope (@NASAHubble), the Chandra X-ray Observatory (@NASAChandraXray) and the Compton Gamma-Ray Observatory. On Aug. 25, Spitzer celebrates its 15th birthday in space although it was originally designed to “stay alive” for 5 years in the harsh environment of space. Spitzer sees the universe in infrared light, which is slightly less energetic than the optical light we can see with our eyes, and helps us advance our knowledge about the Universe, Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/IPAC #nasa #space #solarsystem #Spitzer15 #universe #galaxy #milkyway #stars #astrophysics #astronomy #science #gammarays #ultraviolet #infrared #xrays

A post shared by NASA (@nasa) on Aug 2, 2018 at 6:21pm PDT

NASA’s Instagram stories, stories archive, and IGTV channel also educate their followers about interesting space insights, like the views of the sun and earth, the search for life in space, and NASA’s new launches and technology.

In an age where most people think the only thing that social media content can do is rot your brain, NASA’s popularity on Instagram proves that you can actually create educational content that doesn't sacrifice any entertainment value.

7. NBA

Followers: 30.1 Million

Since basketball is only the seventh most popular sport in the world, it might be surprising that the NBA is the sports league with the most amount of Instagram followers. But after analyzing their Instagram strategy, their success on the app makes complete sense.

Most of the NBA’s Instagram posts are countdowns of each team’s and certain player’s best plays. And by posting each team’s and specific superstars’ top plays on Instagram, the NBA’s content appeals to all of their teams’ and stars’ fan bases, letting them reach almost every basketball fan in the world.

  @karltowns’ TOP 3 PLAYS for the @timberwolves from this past season!! #BESTofNBA

A post shared by NBA (@nba) on Aug 16, 2018 at 1:39pm PDT

But the NBA doesn’t just rely on this clever personalization strategy to maximize their reach on Instagram. They also host account takeovers, Q&As, and behind-the-scenes access videos of team facilities on their Instagram stories and Stories Archive to give fans an inside look at their players’ life on and off the court.

Basketball has about three billion less fans than soccer does. But the reason why the NBA has five million more Instagram followers than the Champion’s League is because the NBA knows how to personalize their content, relate to each segment of their audience, and break down the barriers between their fans and players.

8. Chanel

Followers: 29.3 Million

Throwback Thursday will always be a huge deal on social media -- who doesn’t love a heavy dose of nostalgia every week? Recently, though, Chanel decided to take #tbt to the next level. They’ve been evoking nostalgia in fashionistas all over the world by posting old ads that spotlight previous fashion trends for their Chanel Holidays campaign every day.

  #CHANELHolidays Photographed by Karl Lagerfeld in Monaco, starring @AmberValletta. © CHANEL Cruise 1995/96

A post shared by CHANEL (@chanelofficial) on Aug 13, 2018 at 9:00am PDT

The legendary fashion brand also posts a lot of content about Coco Chanel’s early fashion influences to promote Inside Chanel, a web series that recounts Coco’s life and how she built her fashion empire.

  Biarritz 1915. The seaside resort where female bathers endlessly bask in the ocean and take sun cures. A destination where Gabrielle Chanel responds to the growl of the waves with fierce determination by opening her first couture house. Watch the new episode of #InsideChanel Link in the bio. #GabrielleChanel #ChanelBiarritz

A post shared by CHANEL (@chanelofficial) on Jun 24, 2018 at 9:00am PDT

Harnessing the power of the past is one of the most effective ways to evoke an emotional response from your audience and forge a connection with them. With that in mind, nostalgia should always be in your marketing arsenal.