#I actually like the idea he doesn't currently have his memory because that's interesting

[whathorselegs]

Coping theory: Akutagawa does remember who Atsushi is, however upon seeing him crying and begging at Fyodor's feet he decided to say "Who the hell are you?" because his weretiger doesn't know when to quit and will keep fighting no matter what.

Therefor, when Atsushi inevitably joins the fight to help Akutagawa, he's going to look over at him and say "There you are, weretiger."

[autistichalsin]

One of the things that fascinates me about Halsin is how, as into sex as he is, he seems singularly focused on his partner's pleasure; he gets on his knees for them in his romance scene, but shows no sign of wanting them to return the favor.

And in fact, he is a lot better at giving advice than taking it. After flirting at the Tiefling party, Halsin tells the player not to worry about coming on too strong and that they were just seizing the moment, and yet, if the player rejects Halsin after he accidentally wildshapes, the next morning he apologizes for coming on too strong.

Whether that's just a hangup of his because he thinks he has to be the Best to make sure his lover won't leave him, or maybe some of it is a result of the Underdark, I'm not sure. But he definitely is harder on himself than others.

And I think that is one thing that would come out in his kinks; as much as he affirms that, for example, dom/sub fantasies are perfectly normal (like in that party banter to ascended Astarion, where his worry is specifically because the player is actually thralled) he seems like he has trouble affirming his own. For example, he shifts into bear form in the Drow brothel, but only does this when they express interest in his bear form; "we must give the people what they want, mustn't we?"

So it would be really interesting, then, for Halsin to have a really taboo kink/desire, and be absolutely terrified to tell his partner about it, terrified they'll think he's sick/a freak and leave him.

TW: Discussion of consensual non-consent, also known as rape fantasy or rapeplay, are under the cut. Read at your own risk.

So imagine Halsin having this fantasy. As a big guy he is used to being the dominant partner; no one has ever suspected he might like to bottom, or to be a submissive. The only time he's done such a thing was with his Drow captors. He knows he would like to give his submission willingly, and he does with his partner a few times, before expressing this particular kink.

One thing that gets horribly misunderstood is what makes one actually want CNC. It isn't that they actually want to get raped; it's the idea of having control forcibly taken so completely, while still being safe. Such people wouldn't enjoy a real assault. It's precisely because it comes from a trusted partner, who isn't actually hurting them, that people enjoy it.

So for Halsin, who always has to be in control, to want to explore his trauma where he was forced to lose control, and to experiment with elements from that in an entirely different scenario, where he can draw comfort from it, is something i could very much see him wanting. He would want to revisit those on his terms. He himself said that while under such endless stress from the Shadow Curse, he began to fantasize about his days with the Drow, viewing it as a safer place mentally. "Perhaps [the Shadow Curse] caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth..." He is trying to work out his feelings towards when he lost control.

He clearly doesn't want to return to them; if a Lolth Drow threatens to sell him back to his captors, he snaps, "you would be unwise to attempt it, trust me. In any case, the house of my captors is long-extinct." Then he pauses and has a realization; realizing for the first time that they were captors, not hosts, and that captors was a more accurate term. Halsin is still processing parts of his trauma, after all this time, and admits that his current stresses caused him to struggle with this.

So he doesn't want to actually return to them, but in his head he constructed a fantasy version of them that was safer to engage with, where the violations he endured weren't real. And honestly, in his shoes, it's completely understandable how and why that happened.

So that makes the case for why he needs a safe place to explore himself, his fantasies, his fears, all of it.

The issue of course is that Halsin is self-sacrificing and, as noted above, doesn't seem to prioritize his wants as much as his partners'. If he ever did manage to speak about this, it would be, I think, after a great deal of guilt and maybe even self-loathing, thinking there must be something wrong with him for having these fantasies.

So imagine him with a partner who is happy to indulge him, who gets him to finally open up about his desires. Who affirms that he's allowed to have desires, to process his trauma however he needs; after all, any way of working through it is better than doing nothing like Halsin has been doing for centuries. This is him finally being willing to explore it, to see how it interacted with his own sexuality; of course his partner would never refuse him such a thing.

That is the core of the CNC fic I'm going to write; showing how Halsin's unique blend of traumas affect how and why he craves this in particular.

[xxsycamore]

JOYRIDE

╰┈➤ 💕MC has always dreamed about Arthur taking her for a drive, almost as much as Arthur himself has. But once the opportunity arises, they both seem to be having other ideas...

Arthur Conan Doyle x MC • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Car Sex; Modern Era; Public Sex; pretty sure they're breaking at least a few moral AND actual laws in this; Kissing; Not Wearing Underwear; Teasing; Clothed Sex; Riding; Blow Jobs; Oral Sex; Come Swallowing • wordcount: 2,241 • masterlist

a/n: Also titled "Arthur driving (me insane)". I love his card, I'm sorry.

Part of my Sexy Ikemen Summer Creation Challenge. Prompts: In the car while traveling + Forgo underwear on the date

"Soo… what do we think?"

MC crosses her legs, angling herself just a little more in Arthur's direction so she won't miss all the intriguing little changes happening on his face. He's just finished spending a handful of seconds being stunned speechless, admiring the car's outer appearance before joining her inside. He places his hands on the steering wheel to get a better feeling of it, marine blue eyes sparkling with the wonder of a child receiving a shiny new toy on Christmas morning. They don't lose their spark one bit when landing on MC, head shaking in disbelief.

"Luv, you're absolutely bonkers. What did you do?"

She chuckles, smoothing out the front of her skirt that has ridden up just a bit from the motion of crossing her legs. It's actually a good sign that Arthur has just missed that, he must truly be captivated by her little surprise.

"I rented it! I know how much you love to drive and… I always thought it was such a shame that we're living in such an early age of car manufacturing. But now that we can freely travel through the door, I can finally help you go for a drive just like you remember it! Well, not exactly how you remember it, but…"

The MGA convertible they're currently seated in is a 1957 model, meaning it came out a couple of decades after his death, but practically is the closest thing available to his beloved dark green 16-horse-power Dietrich-Lorraine. MC even found one in the same color. Arthur's cheeks must be hurting by now but the grin is yet to fall from his face. He's busy checking out everything on the dashboard, testing buttons and adjusting the rearview mirror.

"A modern masterpiece! By Jove, how unbelievable it is that I'm going to drive this thing! MC, dear, I— Come here."

Rejuvenated by the taste of "modernity", Arthur grabs the back of MC's head to pull her in for a kiss charged with utter joy, excitement, and lots of thankfulness, of course. She's happy to catch the master of the pen being out of words, burning this sight into her memory. Actually, that's exactly what she bought a camera for. Click! Arthur, now back to his business, doesn't even register the sealing of the memory, probably due to the absence of the flash. It only makes the capture more natural-looking, and MC is satisfied with that.

"MC, thank you so much. I'm such a lucky man. And you terribly outdid yourself, you little rascal!"

Putting away the camera somewhere just close enough for some more on-the-spot memories to be sealed, MC leans in and puts a peck on Arthur's cheek, feeling her own sides beginning to heat up.

"Don't thank me just yet, wait until we get that baby on the road! I did promise you a surprise for your birthday that would come a little later in the summer, on our next trip to the 21st century… I'm cheating a little by indulging in your joy here, you know? Because of how I've always dreamed of you taking me for a drive like this, hehe…"

It would be interesting to show Arthur what a truly modern automobile looks like, but she figured that would be too much of a headache for him just yet. Besides, she prefers it if he can actually drive the thing without it ending in a crash.

It's illegal either way, and they're both aware of that, with Arthur not possessing any documents, but it's a risk they're willing to take. And Comte totally didn't tell them not to worry about that, in a very cryptic fashion. But just to make sure, they opt for a rural highway once they pull off, and make it a point to stay extra alert.

"You know what else I'm thinking about?"

Feeling the wind in her hair, MC's soft hum of interest comes a bit tardy as she's too occupied by their cruising. This only results in her slightly jumping in her seat the moment a delicate warm hand snakes its way to her exposed knee.

"Fooling around in a car with you."

She takes her eyes off the road to instead regard the audacity of that devious hand, her widened eyes then trailing to the culprit behind the steering wheel. And his shit-eating grin.

"Arthur…"

Heartbeat speeding up as his fingerpads dip under her skirt and dig into the inside of her thigh, MC can't help pressing her legs together to trap his hand in between. It's the far opposite of what she'd liked her reaction to be, with such a reckless distraction… Oh, but Arthur's own eyes are on the road, and he prides himself in being able to please a woman even with his eyes closed, and the bubbles of adrenaline pop and fuzz low in her belly and morph into something more tangible and liquid…

"Would you look at that, luv? A dirt road I could easily go onto and find a good place to pull off. Or we can drive by it and keep chit-chatting, it's entirely your call. But do make up your mind quickly!"

Alarms go off in MC's mind as she struggles to come out of the daze, and it's hard when Arthur's implication only puts her deeper in there. Just how did their scenic drive come to this?

"Pull off."

Arthur drums the wheel with his other hand, visibly pleased with her decision. In another minute the car's engine goes quiet and the world inside MC's head only gets louder, as she's being pulled into Arthur's lap.

Albeit cramped, the luxurious interior of the car makes it possible for such acrobatics, much to MC's surprise, as the leather front seat is wide and not disjointed like in modern cars. Her knees sink down on each side of Arthur as he begins feeling her up - grabbing handfuls of her ass and making her skirt hike up, then following the dips of her sides up to her breasts and bringing them in closer to his face. He's at the perfect height to bury his face in her bosom, yet the vampire in him always gets more distracted by her delectable nape. He licks a wet stripe across it, feeling the call of her blood pulse alluringly under the wet muscle. But they wouldn't want to make too much mess now, would they?

"Still up for a ride, dove?"

Arthur rocks MC's body down on his groin and puts a barely needed emphasis on what his offer entails. The soft whine that leaves her lips is like music to Arthur's ears, and he already wants to make her sing for him more. That's why he loses little time leaving those tantalizing caresses where the skin isn't burning to the touch with need, and his hand ends up fully under her skirt, cupping her hot arousal.

And to his surprise, there's no barrier separating his touch from her core.

"My, someone planned this? I can't believe you tricked me into thinking all you wanted was an innocent little drive!"

She knew this moment would come, yet now all her comebacks are forgotten with only a guilty little laugh leaving her curled-up lips. While seducing him so boldly was on the list for their date, she was thinking more of some nice and secluded spot for this to happen, preferably away from the vehicle…

MC grinds down on his palm, even if the morsel of pleasure quickly leaves her starving for more. She could get off of his lap, demand they put the roof on, push him down on the seat, do anything that will ease this feeling of committing the forbidden, laced with plenty of embarrassment on top. But alas, thrill prevails.

"Nnh… Take me now Arthur, don't waste any time…!"

Ignoring the inevitable teasing little "oh?" coming from her boyfriend, MC reaches underneath her to undo Arthur's belt. She likes his outfit for their date, grey trousers and a brown leaf-print shirt, a pair of sunglasses tucked casually in the crux of his undone upper three buttons. MC briefly considers moving them out of harm's way, to his handsome face for instance, but then his beautiful eyes would be obscured, and that'd be such a shame…

Arthur's own hands intrude to get the job done even faster, and once his cock springs out aching and throbbing, he guides her soft fingers to wrap around it.

He's quick to claim her lips as soon as her face is in close proximity, angled down to look at the growing hardness she's stoking, and the sweetness of her mouth only enhances the sensation but he can't not kiss her breathless. MC moans in his mouth, the clenching of her core becoming more agonizing with the promise of what's to come making itself known hot and heavy in her tight fist.

"Do you want to put it in yourself, little bird?"

Oh, she sees now. Arthur is making her embrace the act completely, to finish what she's started until he can come out clean in the end… It's more than a little unfair at this point. But perhaps this is not such a bad thing.

Letting go of Arthur's hot mouth with a last little suckle of his tongue, MC pins down his gaze as she secures a hand on his shoulder, ascending from her seat ever so slightly.

After an adjustment of her position, the tip of his cock comes to rest snuggly against her swollen lips and MC sways her hips softly. She uses her hand to guide it in, or at least pretends to, because as soon as the head begins to breach the leaking hole of her opening, MC pulls it out again.

"Mm…Naughty girl… don't tease now. Be nice."

Instead of falling for his husky whispering and quickly complying, MC keeps her act on. The next time she catches Arthur's gaze, his eyes are half-lidded and the cheekiness is wiped off his face.

His quiet hiss of anticipation motivates MC and she gets a little bit ahead of herself - because that's just what Arthur has waited for, and he uses the opportunity of the new shallow penetration to grab her by the waist and press down. Slowly but insistingly.

"Ahhh—Arthur-"

They both watch his cock disappear inside her, with MC throwing her head back once he bottoms out. Arthur groans at the tightness enveloping him, kissing her exposed neck.

"See? It was easy. Don't deny your desires, luv." His little noisy pecks should be calming her senses down but the fire inside her has only spread further. She figures it's about time for her to take the reins, and using Arthur's shoulders for leverage, she begins bouncing in his lap, settling an ambitious pace right away.

Arthur rests his arm on the door, admiring her as the expression on her face grows lewder by the second, struggling to keep up with the explosive waves of pleasure hitting her one after another yet still stubbornly fucking herself on his cock.

"Haah- So fast… You're going to make me come, luv."

The sudden squeezing he feels around his cock makes a brand new grin bloom on Arthur's face, and he's quick to move his other hand downwards and see if she can keep going when he doubles the pleasure. MC all but screams at the feeling of his fingers rubbing her clit in rhythm with her own thrusts, unable to do anything but to embrace the orgasm that rips through her like lightning.

Arthurs coos at her blissed-out face, even if he's barely holding himself back from joining her in the climax. Only when she falls completely out of rhythm does he take it upon himself to seize control, but just as he opens his mouth to warn of his upcoming orgasm MC unexpectedly gets completely off of him.

Arthur's deep-sea blue eyes follow her movements until her head suddenly descends and hovers over his twitching cock, her mouth opening to take him in. He can do little but remain where he is as she coaxes a powerful orgasm out of him with ease, her plush lips closing around his tip and enthusiastically sucking the seeping currents as they come one by one.

The moan that carries her name is etching itself into her very heart, with just a little spark of arousal to it that she can ignore for the time being. Arthur places his hand gently under her chin, but he can't help himself prodding at her bottom lip with his thumb just for a glimpse of the fluids coating her tongue.

She sticks it out for him but as a mockery more than anything, to accompany the cheekiness of laying her head across his lap - everything already swallowed and gone. Arthur props up his head on his arm with his elbow still resting on the door of the car, and the summer day's heat has made a sweaty mess of the hairlocks falling on his forehead. MC gets a good look at his handsome face from her new point of view, nuzzling into his hand that is still caressing her face. For some reason, they're both feeling giddy.

"So then luv, if we're done being a pair of horny teenagers, should we continue with our little joyride?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, we haven't paused for a bit!"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @kimi00twin @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @devonares @galaxyprison @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @natimiles @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @groovylita @justpeachyteastea @ichigostellaglynn Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[bonaesperanza]

Damen's also a victim of gaslighting if you think about it, and it explains so many things about him.

Kastor seems to have taken care of him a lot while he was growing up (based on the amount of childhood memories that Damen has with him) and Kastor also fucking hated him. A child in that situation will sort of self-gaslight, they'll convince themselves that they don't see what they do so they can maintain a fundamental sense of safety despite their objectively unsafe environment. The end result is exactly what Damen is - someone who's pretty bad at telling apart those who love him from those who mean him harm.

If Kastor treats him like shit - Kastor fucking stabbed the barely teen-aged heir to the throne in the guts, mind - that's because Kastor is treating him like a man, he's giving him tough love and not coddling him because a prince doesn't need coddling, he needs tempering and seasoning instead. Damen is lucky to have a brother who'll stab him in the guts so he can become a better man and ruler, unlike those arrogant, spoiled other princes who get *checks notes* affectionate relatives.

And if Kastor is treating him like a man that's because Damen's earned it - Damen has a particular fixation about "earning it", whatever "it" is in a particular situation, because the main issue of contention between him and Kastor is that Damen gets the throne by default, regardless of who deserves it more, and therefore (in Kastor's view) Damen is a Bad Person who's screwing him over by his very existence. Damen's answer to this is to make sure that he works hard and is the best at everything (and working hard for things is actually a genuinely good value to have, mind), because this way he DID earn it, he DOES deserve it more, the better man has the throne, so peace on planet Earth, right? But he doesn't understand how this just further humiliates and angers Kastor, who then vengefully retaliates, the truth of which Damen, who loves Kastor and seeks his approval, can't handle emotionally, necessitating the "this is tough love, because I'm a strong man" mental defense.

I think this is interesting because it really spills over into Damen's incorrect conclusions about Laurent, sometimes in kinda embarrassingly stupid ways - because Veretians are Bad and being a spoiled cunt who's never had to work hard for anything is also Bad (in a very visceral way, because it's what Damen is desperately trying to avoid being), the Veretian prince must be both, concludes Damen after a 0.5 second glance at Laurent's resting bitch face. "A prince doesn't need to be coddled, he needs to be seasoned," says Damen to Paschal about Laurent, even though he's only in the position to have this conversation in the first place because Laurent's entire family died by the time he was 13 and he is currently being hunted down like a dog by his only remaining relative.

I also think that this is the foundation on which Damen's attitudes about slavery are able to change and develop - if his idea of someone deserving something is based in whether he's earned it (as opposed to birthright), becoming a slave is an easy way to disprove his current worldview about how much "earning it" matters in a fundamentally unjust society: first of all, Damen can't earn anything if Laurent doesn't allow him the opportunity to. Once Laurent does allow it, no matter how competent Damen shows himself to be, no matter how much Laurent treats him as an equal, no matter how much Damen earns Laurent's respect, this is all still happening at Laurent's whim and Laurent can turn around and treat Damen like a servant again, praise his military prowess with one breath and threaten him with a whipping with the next, and there's very little Damen can do about it. Damen goes from a privileged man's idea of meritocracy (I worked hard for it so I deserve it) to a more 360 degree one (some people can never have what I have no matter how hard they work, because I am fundamentally privileged).

Finally, it's really obvious that Damen also loves working for it in his romantic relationships, which probably stems from the same roots as all of the above, but it's a particularly interesting framework for drawing parallels between Laurent and the rest of Damen's life. Not only is Laurent the undisputed champion of Being Hard to Get, Laurent also hates Damen because Damen unthinkingly took something precious away from him (just like someone else!), and Laurent is also very punishing towards Damen over it (just like someone else!). But this time, Damen is actually capable of earning Laurent's respect (because facts will always take precedence over pettiness for hyperrational Laurent), and then his love, because Laurent is willing to see Damen as a person with feelings- as a man who loves him and cares about pleasing him - and not just as his role in the tragedy of Laurent's life.

I just think it's interesting to think about, is all, because I feel like the knee-jerk instinct is to analyze Laurent's more overt fuckedupness while not thinking about how Damen needs to also be kinda fucked up to find the thornbush pleasing to the extent that he does.

[pigeonstab]

Ahkjsblsb my brain tricked me!!! D: I could have swore I typed out a whole thing... I hope I didn't send that to somebody else by accident lol

Anyway!! Lemme see if I can remember it all

Okay so, since Enoch is (I'm assuming) made of part Error and part Nightmare, does this mean he has some elements of both? The way he crashes similar to Error and can use the blue strings, does he have some kind of relationship with negative and/or positive energy too? :o

How does he feel about physical touch and does it affect his occasional glitches and crashes? When you say he retained some of Error's memories, do you mean memories of his original life before the huge glitching or does have any memories of things Error did in his current state?

Do you think he would ever end up in the omega timeline or would it not interest him? Or would they possibly hesitate to let him in if he has the power to destroy code like Error? ACTUALLY WAIT would Ink know? Like if Ink saw him would he know what happened and who made up the parts of him?? Would Dream have any sort of recognition of him?

(You said after he destroys the au he would end up with either Dream or Nightmare and I wanna ask about that soooo bad but also maybe that's spoilers for the future or you're still planning it so I'll be restrained and won't, but just know I am very patiently vibrating with excitement to hear more about this guy in the future c: )

(Okay I think that was everything, but if I remember more I'll be back :3c) (Unless I dream it again lol)

Hehe SO this is gonna be a long one.

1) Enoch isn't really made from parts of Nightmare and Error. Error lost his arm during the battle and that's what Enoch came from. (Also why Enoch has one arm that looks like Error's cause he literally grew from that.) So he's more of a part of Error that was severed by Nightmare's action. I guess maybe some of his intent could come through but Enoch doesn't have any empathic abilities or any relation to emotion magic. Maybe some of Nightmare's personality shines through but I'd have to figure out what.

2) He's similar to Error in terms of touch (maybe worse), he's never really been touched by anyone ever (in his five years of existence) so it's mostly because of that, more than any relation to Error. He would find physical contact very jarring. I do think he would glitch out pretty badly if he was touched.

3) the reason Enoch doesn't remember his life before the glitch is because he didn't exist yet. What he attributed to amnesia due to the semi destruction of the world was actually just cause he wasn't born yet. He can't have memories of the old Sans of that AU because they are not related in any way. Enoch created that connection through false deductions.

To actually answer your question he has memories from Error's life, as in memories of being Error. Like he would remember the anti-void and the bean bag y'know? Maybe not with conscious awareness or knowledge of what those thing mean or what they represent since they're completely out of context for him. Those memories arehow he figured out that he could use strings. Simply because he remembered using them as Error and it's like it came naturally. (It's only been that way since Enoch had his memories unlocked by being in Error's proximity though, not in his first five years)

3) I think so yeah. The idea I really like is that like, Dream found him after he erased the rest of the AU and he's just like any other refugee to him y'know? So maybe he'd be brought to the OT

4) I don't think the people if the Omega Timeline would know? It's not- well actually it is kinda written all over him, he looks a LOT like Error. Maybe they'd check. It would be devastating if they refused to let Enoch in after all he's been through. After that long in isolation. My god.

5) I don't really know about Ink. I do like to think he'd be intrigued by him, he'd be quick to put two and two together. Or maybe Ink has the ability to see code and recognizes him that way. It'd be really funny for Ink to talk about Error as Enoch's dear old pops or something and Enoch just not understanding who Ink's even talking about (boi has no idea what a father even is) I think they could have fun together. Ink's eccentric demeanor would be very good for helping Enoch to get out of his shell. I can see Ink being kind of entertaining to him rather than abrasive like I see most people write him as. like MANNNN I THINK HE LIKES KIDS Y'KNOW?? he's fun, Enoch would like him, he'd be like a little kid when they smile all timid and shtuff but he's having a good time watching ink bumble about.

5) Dream wouldn't recognize code. He'll probably recognize Enoch as related to Error in some way just because of his appearance. Maybe he'd recognize some of his brother in Enoch though. If we say that Enoch got some personality traits from Nightmare. In the way he talks, or the way he looks at things. Just little quirks that remind him so eerily of Nightmare. ALSO OMG DREAM'S AN UNCLE. IF NIGHTMARE'S LIKE A FATHER. I mean, it's not really being parents but Nightmare and Error are the two directly involved in creating Enoch but like- If you found out one of your actions resulted in the creation of a living being would you not feel somewhat responsible? Uncle Dream propaganda.

6) It can't really be called spoilers. I don't think I want to keep stuff under wraps anymore just cause I like conceptualizing more than making an actual story so... Y'know. But I do have plans. I think some of what I answered already points to possible future dynamics and stuff but for now I haven't thought on it too much so... Feel free to ask if you want and I'll come up with shit as I go. I like bouncing ideas with you, so anything you ask about it will probably not be concrete or final. Just a disclaimer.

I also want to develop the AU Enoch was in a bit more. Just cause I think it could be cool and then I could stop calling it 'the AU' lol.

Thank you for letting me ramble!! This was super nice hehe. Hopefully next time you'll ask me on tumblr instead of on dreamblr

[motherstone]

Silas's true colors

Ok, y'see @chi-the-idiot and I have been losing our minds when we combined our observations about Silas, and I thought it's developed enough to be a meta post about him and his actual character.

He's not a good person. He's not even a "flawed" misunderstood type - nope, just straight up someone who genuinely doesn't have the wellbeing of others in mind.

Main Points

Silas has always been suspicious since Book 1

Leon has a miscommunication with Emily about Silas’s intentions.

He assumed that Silas passed away too soon to tell Emily his noble goals. Thing is, if that was truly Silas’s intention, he would’ve prioritized saying that on his deathbed, especially when he’s fully aware he’s going to bite the dust soon.

Except he didn’t.

From the get go, Silas first attempt to hook Emily into claiming the Amulet is that it grants power and authority - not the ability to help other people.

Indeed, Silas’s last laments weren’t even about his failure to help the Resistance, but rather his failure to achieve great power. When Emily makes it clear that she’s not interested in it, Silas makes a point to switch tactics, and this time properly nails Emily’s actual desire - an ability to return to a time she’s happier.

And then, proceeds to give the worst possible advice to Emily about stonekeeping - listening to the stone (Which we already know, it’s a horrible idea). And to add insult to injury, he wistfully wishes that he at the very least could partake in the Amulet’s blessings would apparently gift Emily with, but alas, the bell tolls.

What’s even more sinister is Silas’s last words to Emily’s valid question of “why me?” 

Silas already knows Emily won’t be able to reject the stone to begin with. It’s not a stretch that he manufactured or at the very least allowed the events to happen that would lead to such a situation.

From start to finish, this was a sales pitch. A trap. And Emily has so very little choice but to take the bait - all hook, line, and sinker.

2. Miskit’s design and potential purpose (All Chi's notes)

Chi brought it up to me about her suspicions about Miskit’s design.

Miskit’s design looks like a plushie - he’s small, cute, all round features unlike the harder edges of bots like Cogsley or Theodore.

For one, it’s quite unique and unusual, even among bots seen in the series. But especially when compared to the rest of the Charnon bots:

Put Miskit there and he sticks out like a sore thumb.

Oh, and also, he’s Silas’s apprentice and has all his knowledge stored in his memory banks. Which is. A very weird design choice. You’d think an adult like Silas would design a bot that matches him more - but Miskit looks out of place when put beside Silas.

Unless, Miskit wasn’t built for Silas’s sake.

But rather, for his successor, Chi noted. A child successor.

Miskit, standing next to Emily, looks like a perfect match. He was built to be her companion from the get go. Silas was never going to choose his son or Karen for the stone - he had the intention of an adult succeeding him to begin with. Miskit’s design, in context of the story, is meant to emotionally manipulate the successor, because Silas wanted someone malleable, someone who is yet to grow into their place and their sense of self, and who is more perfect for such a role than a child?

3. The Charnon bots and their reliance on Silas's stone.

I want you to take note of some things:

Emily’s stone fizzled out the same time Silas died, meaning his life force is connected to it.

2. Pink energy glows and crackles in the bots' eyes.

It goes unstated, but it’s clear that Silas uses his stone to power the house AND the bots. The lights and bots going out isn’t for dramatic effect nor the stone shutting down - it’s Silas’s will over the magic spell that keeps them up running fizzling out at the same time as his life does.

Signature pink energy crackling as they're restored back to life - they're powered by their very creator, and currently, their new master.

The house lives as long the stone does. It’s why Miskit is so panicked when Silas dies and is frantic on begging Emily to accept the stone - aside from being saddled with a massive duty out of nowhere, their lives quite literally depend on it. Sure enough, when Emily accepts the stone, they all come back to life. I’d bet my entire shoe collection (which comprises three shoes) that had Emily rejected the stone, they, along the house, would remain stone dead.

Sounds reasonable enough that Silas would use his stone to power them - it is a power source after all.

But the thing is - he doesn’t need to do it.

We don’t get further context later, but then we get to see other bots in the series and -

They all operate independently of a stonekeeper providing them power to function. We get that confirmation as early as book 2.

Meaning Silas built in the bots' dependence on him from their inception - they’re quite literally chained to Silas by life. It’s true that they’re loyal to him by choice, but that’s all the more convenient for Silas, as he makes it quite clear that he has no intention of letting them go if they wish to - either they serve him, or die.

In other words - SILAS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A TERRIBLE PERSON. I don’t know what the fuck Kazu was thinking trying to retcon him as a flawed hero, but it’s obvious he was never a good guy to begin with. He’s a power hungry, control freak who’s a slave to his desires - there’s not an ounce of decency nor noble intentions in this man.

[transmascutena]

every major character in rgu is in some way obsessed with the past (friendships, love, family, childhood, etc.) but it's interesting how the main three all kind of subvert this in different ways.

so much of utena's life is defined by her past and her memory of the prince, but unlike most other characters, this doesn't manifest in her wanting to go back to that time. both her false goal of meeting the prince again and her real one of wanting to help anthy are future-oriented, and this is something she retains throughout the show ("let's have tea together and laugh in ten years") and it's one of the major things that sets her apart from the rest of the cast as the protagonist. as much as utena clings to the idea of eternity, she's probably the one character who wants it the least out of everyone.

on the other hand, akio is the one who wants eternity the most, despite his talk of revolutionizing the world. he claims that he longs for the time he was a prince and had the power of dios, and while i do think he genuinely believes that a lot of the time, in a sort of pathetic self-pitying way, he is ultimately really quite comfortable with the present. he has power and gets (or takes) everything he could ever want and he doesn't truly want to change things. but of course that's still not enough. he wants the one thing he does not and cannot have. he seeks more power or a different kind of power, but it doesn't manifest in actually changing things, either forwards or backwards, not because he can't (like the other characters who are stuck in place) but because he doesn't truly want to. the current system benefits him entirely and he wants to keep it eternal.

anthy is more difficult to pinpoint. on one hand she's focused on the past in a similar way to akio; she wants dios back, though her wish for that is more genuine than his. on the other hand, she has largely given up on that ever happening, and so it's hard to say she's actively seeking it or obsessing over it. so she's really more focused on the present, but in the exact opposite way from akio. she's in survival mode, living day-to-day, without much room to really care about anything else. she has resigned herself to akio's eternity. but then by the end of the show, utena has given her the hope necessary to want a better future for herself instead.

[runabout-river]

Thoughts on JJK chapter 264 (spoilers)

You know sometimes you just want to strangle Gege for hype endings of the last chapter that are going to be nullified in the next. It gets frustrating so close to a (possible) end of the fight but this time you can excuse it somewhat because the explanation and character feats make sense 😬

Angel's current JL even though it is maximum output is weaker than before because with one arm less her CE can't be channeled 100% from her body to her cursed tool. In other words, Sukuna can brace himself against it scale up to kill Angel

Remarkably, Sukuna calls Angel by her name and we haven't even seen what she looked like. Heian flashback??

Just like against Mahito, Todo simply gets back up after his CT dies. What a champ. Sukuna gets a BF though that isn't immediately negated by Yuji's soul punch

Angel and Todo are seemingly out, Yuta is still lying on the ground somewhere until his CT burnout ends but we still have the weaker good guys standing around and Maki is also there

Sukuna is not beating the Cute™ allegations

It's interesting that JL is active for this long and Yuji, who's drenched in Sukuna's CE is also affected by it but that doesn't hinder him at all

Yuji does get a punch in but it doesn't disrupt Sukuna's recovery of his CE output. This could be because Yuji just left Angel's attack which hindered him in using dismantle.

Yuji isn't beating the Cute™ allegations either with the lines and scissors of his technique. I can already hear the sound effect the anime will add to it. Snip snip

So Sukuna gets his arms back and looks like he's about to overpower Yuji once more. But you know what I thought while reading the chapter? That Sukuna had an awful lot of inner thoughts.

Sukuna never get this much thought bubbles and he's confident of his success to boot? Something is going to go sideways for him, definitely.

And look, we get a flashback about the first time we saw a DE with blindfold Gojo. But it's not like Sukuna needs that flashback, he knows more than anyone how they're made. So... why did this particular image appear in his mind?

Because Yuji

I've seen explanations of Yuji's handsign. I'll link or reblog them later.

The biggest problem for Sukuna is now the Sure hit but he knows Hollow Wicker Basket and has all his arms back so the fight should continue as it started but....

It's so nostalgic seeing Itadori Sukuna 😤

This probably answers the question we had when Sukuna took over Megumi's body. How does his soul look like now? Like Megumi? Or still like Yuji?

Yuji it is.

The setup here is also reminiscent of Gojo's airport scene with Sukuna now in Gojo's place

But is this Yuji's domain or is it one of those fake memories like Todo and Choso had??

As a reminder, not only does Yuji induce strange dream sequences into others but so does Sukuna. We've seen it with Jogo and Kashimo. What we haven't seen is if Sukuna is actually aware of them happening. He might very well be like Yuji with no idea that sth happened.

The difference with Yuji's and Sukuna's induced dreams are that with Yuji they're uninvolved sequences that still speak to the receivers' (Todo/Choso) hearts. For Sukuna they're a last talk with the receiver being fully conscious and able to speak their minds however they wish.

This looks like Sukuna will be fully conscious... But Yuji won't?

It's not like Yuji isn't affected by these dreams though. After Todo's he said that he was in strange place during the Hanami fight where he also called Todo his brazaa. Those fake memories probably affected Yuji subconsciously as well.

So, my guess is that this last scene where Sukuna and Yuji are probably going to have some heavy talking happen to them, is a dream. The real fight might actually be happening simultaneously while they... don't really resolve their character conflict that has been build up since the beginning of the manga. But they might build on top of it.

My second guess for the end of the this arc with how this is set up now, is that Sukuna will get backstabbed by Kenjaku. He will most likely involuntarily become part of the merger which will mean that this fight (and the talk) won't have a proper winner. That part will become Megumi's arc then.

[bluemoondust]

I DIED AT THE TRAGIC RABID WET DOG BLADE

I present, a crack-ish idea (not request) with yan!Blade.

Blade curses his immortality, and in the Xianzhou culture the long-lived species tend to be stable. Like, staying in one way of life throughout their long lives. Unless one is a vidyadhara who gets reborn.

Blade and his darling who actually has FUN with her immortality. Because guess what? when you outlive everyone you get a new start, and once you get a new start you can turn into another version of you. Like an actress in a theatre who can pick her role as she likes once the performance is over.

She has gone through various stages of life, each polishing her skills and playing different roles, in this stage she chooses to be a stellaron hunter.

(like barbie who can do everything. Blade wishes to die, his immortal darling is living her best life).

Blade and a darling like this is literally the embodiment of the "Why dis 💀 look so mad 😭😭😭" meme.

BUT JUST IMAGINE

Darling who is a vidyadhara... Blade would literally see you losing memories of your past life as a blessing. Since you, unlike him, can just forget everything once you reach death's doors. Especially if one of your lives wasn't a pleasant one.

Despite that,,, JUST THINK ABOUT BLADE WATCHING OVER YOUR PAST LIVES. He's witnessed the different roles you've played, watching from a distance, examining your choices. Even if you're different, you still look the same and sometimes he catches certain habits you have that follow you from past lives. It doesn't matter to him...you're still the same person, despite any changes.

You being a Stellaron Hunter in this current cycle is interesting. Now you're even closer than before. Blade doesn't have to watch from afar (too much since he still does). He wonders what choices you'll make now and what caused you to join the Stellaron Hunters (in some ways it matters but doesn't matter to him, you're here with him after all).

Feral idea: Blade refusing to let you die under any circumstances until he's able to die himself. He finally has you where he wants, so why would he let anyone or anything take you away? Especially death. He is fully aware that once you die again, you'll just forget and he cannot—no, he won't have that happen.

[vaperarmand]

what is Your take on the show possibly doing past dm in its entirety like how do you think it could be carried out cause i feel like everyone's main gripes are that it'll somehow fuck w the show's integrity/daniel couldn't possibly have forgotten Everything/it doesn't make sense with the storyline we currently have. i'm v curious as someone who loves the direction the show is taking but also wants to see assad and lbf devil their minions

first of all it's a little crazy to me that it could fuck with the show's integrity when the show in question is literally the "memory is a monster" show. like. regardless how you feel about the fact that the show did this they literally spent the last episode going "yeah the guy you think is the villain actually isn't, and everybody just fucking forgot or didn't know to begin with. which is how he got away with it." and keep in mind the villain in question is the guy who has been consistently erasing everybody's memories for fun and his own personal gain. so like. i think the show will survive if they introduce a romance b-plot and do so by saying "yup! daniel forgot before because armand made him!" anyway.

the one thing i'm curious about is the fact that in the books devil's minion era is intrinsically linked with lestat's show and akasha and so on and so forth. which it won't be in the show to the same degree because lestat isn't a rockstar in 1985. and by the time he is daniel is already a vampire. so it'll be interesting to see if that somehow is the defining factor of if/how they do it.

in terms of daniel and armand's relationship though i think it works really well? like i think it's very easy to say that in 1985 armand wiped daniel's memories instead of made him a vampire. i love the idea that night island happens, then daniel starts running away, and there's some overlap with his relationship with alice and armand. very easy for armand to see daniel in a near-death OD type situation and say yeah, nope, this is not happening again, we're breaking up and you can't remember me. (the breakup could happen a bunch of different ways also which maybe they'll go with! but i'm just sticking as close to book canon as i can rn) i think the trajectory of the relationship could stay just about the same. i think the one potential difference is like. well what happens after 1985? which is why i've really come to like the idea that in show verse there's the possibility of armand visiting daniel throughout the years until dubai happens. this potentially is where things get goofy, like. armand just restoring and deleting daniel's memories over and over again kind of like a cartoon villain. but iiiii like it for the fact that it implies armand can't stay away from him. and they'll be in love forever. i could probably talk about this forever but to sum it up like yeah. i think it could very realistically work. i think whatever they do will be compelling to me but i do feel just a little bit you can pry 70s-80s devil's minion out of my cold dead hands

[violetren]

PJO!Show Medusa is a very special kind of tragic that feels much deeper than I remember it in the original book.

In the very first episode of the series we see Sally taking little Percy to a museum to learn a little about ancient Greece to help set him up for his inevitable future, but also planting the seeds of independent thought and a strong moral compass that will make Percy simultaneously an excellent hero and th BIGGEST headache for every Olympian, Titan, and otherwise supernatural being in the world. And she does this by prompting Percy to question his preconceived ideas of the monster Medusa. A woman who was tossed around by the whims of the gods and ultimately killed by them too.

The memory of this lesson carries over and is a major driving force in Percy's decision to follow Medusa inside her home even as his companions AND his enemy react to her as a straight up monster even before she has actually arrived on the scene. Annabeth sees a couple of statues and the "Aunty Em's" sign and is ready to GTFO immediately.

However it's not the only lesson in play.

In this same episode we are introduced to the concept of how monsters hunt. Not all of them are mindless beasts chasing down the scent of the most powerful demigod they can find. Some are drawn in by the demigods desire for glory, or feelings or inadequacy, their fear, or dissatisfaction with their relationship with the gods, and will use those same criteria to manipulate and tear down their prey. Something interesting about this explanation is that it still implies monsters are out there actively tracking down demigods to kill regardless of what is attracting them.

Medusa doesn't really fit with this proactive predator model creating a degree of separation between her and other monsters we learned about and seen so far. However they are very careful to never let us forget that she is a threat. As our heroes arrive there are petrified monsters everywhere and Alecto doesn't come closer than the driveway even after Medusa retreats inside because she knows that Medusa is 1. Powerful, and 2. Doesn't like her personally. Her personal distaste for another monster in the moment helps further distance her from the classic monster model we have been taught to recognise.

Inside the house we learn Medusa's version of the tale. How devout she was with nothing in return. How intoxicating it was to finally feel seen even if not by the god she had spent her life dedicated to. How she was shamed and punished for how eagerly she accepted that attention. She took her cursed punishment and turned it into a gift, a way to protect herself. It's a sympathetic tale. Percy is primed to be sympathetic. Grover who lived in the mythical world first then the mundane unlike both Percy and Annabeth even shows hesitation instead of being able to treat her as an out and out monster even if only for a moment. Annabeth is the only one who identifies her as a monster and sticks to it all the way through.

Everything is set up to make us question whether this iconic monster of Greek Myth, who we know from the books will attack, really is a villain this time around. This is especially effective in the current era of Medusa retellings as a tragic heroine, a protector of those who have been assaulted and abused, who was beloved by Athena not reviled.

Then the turn comes. She offers a deal to Percy, she'll help make sure no one can stand in the way of his goal, she'll petrify Grover and Annabeth if he asks. From there everything spirals out. We go down to her basement storage reminiscent of both a temple and her history as a shrine maiden, and the cave she lived in as a monster until Perseus came to claim her head. We get her villain monologue. Paraphrasing: "You could have taught the gods a lesson by taking a path other than obedience to them and their teachings. Now I will send you as examples and reminders of what their actions have wrought. I will make them see me."

Medusa in this show very much is a monster, despite all of the misdirects, but unlike all of the other monsters we have seen and all those we have been taught to expect even as she is stalking the kids in her basement she doesn't feel like some overblown mythical monster. She feels like a woman who has been driven to madness. Like she is trapped in a cycle and doesn't know how to exit it, so she pushes the onus of breaking the cycle on others and then punishes them when they can't.

If that wasn't tragic enough I have a theory on what she preys on as a monster and why.

She hunts on loneliness or at least a sense of being isolated, because that is the feeling at the heart of her creation as a myth and a monster.

She went a lifetime ignored by the figure she loved the most. Her curse isolated her. It was supposed to drive people away from her/prevent her from getting close to anyone. She was killed without being acknowledged as ever having been human. Then by the rules the dictate monsters in the PJO universe she came back, probably a few dozen times at least before we met her in canon. She set up her shop in the middle of nowhere, harkening back to her life after being cursed in her original myth. Most importantly she sets up on a saytr path in the middle of a new jersey Forest where she'll likely only be stumbled across by other singular lonesome beings.

To really nail down that feeling of tragedy, even though a lot of her victims clearly never got past being terrified of her, someone did. Grover's uncle Ferdinand did. He looked at her with solemn understanding, at peace with his fate, maybe even a touch pitying. He couldn't make her feel seen, or make her realise that she didn't need the gods attention after all this time. And if he couldn't then there was no way in hell that a couple of 12 year olds and barely working age saytr could, and so once again the cycle repeated and she had to die.

[buckevantommy]

https://www.tumblr.com/buckevantommy/755805893324570624 i need this college au right tf now!

i love when folks notice my rambles in the tags! 😅🏫🍆🍰 

and now i’ve decided to lay out the premise here for you. i don’t have it in me to write a proper ficlet so i’m pretty much just copypasting my tags and elaborating a tiny bit. 

working tite: let him eat cake dick moves au

Fratboy Buck has sucked his fair share of dick - he is, after all, in a frat - but Tommy is the first guy attached to said dick that Buck really likes hanging out with. So he gets annoyed when Tommy ghosts him after the dick sucking because: what the hell? He thought they were becoming friends. 

Meanwhile, Tommy is trying desperately to shove himself back in the closet after the illadvised dick sucking, trying to refit that veil of denial that he's been living under his whole life. He's freaking out on the inside but playing it stony and unaffected on the outside. But things come to a head when Buck finally manages to corner him after Tommy had successfully dodged him for days. 

Tommy manages to keep his composure as he claims he doesn’t even remember what happened that night because he was drunk, and then carries on his way, leaving a confused Buck in his wake who is pretty sure there’s no way they drank enough to blackout Tommy’s memory. But rather than come to the conclusion that Tommy is gay and trying to hide it, Buck just gets annoyed at the rejection of his friendship.

Tommy ends up trashing his painting studio after their interaction. He would never hurt Buck, but he will self-sabotage his chances at happiness: like a cute boy, and his painting aspirations.  

A few days later, Buck gets high or drunk or both and decides to send what he thinks is the perfect reminder for Tommy of what happened between them, and it will also let Tommy know that he doesn’t appreciate being ignored: it’s a white-frosted cake with the words don’t ignore me i sucked your dick piped onto it. He figures it will get him a conversation if nothing else. Luckily Tommy doesn't live in a frathouse so he doesn’t have an audience when he opens the cake to find Buck’s message, but Buck wasn’t thinking that far ahead. 

The thing is: Tommy has had a few days to calm down and re-evaluate things. Enough time to realise he actually likes Buck and before the whole fratty dick-sucking practice thing he actually got the feeling they could be friends. And he could really use a proper friend, because Sal is off partying more often than not and they’ve kind of drifted apart since arriving at college together. 

The short of it is: Buck sobered up and realised his cake message was probably a bad idea (and by ‘realised’ he means Eddie pointed it out) and he expected Tommy to slash the tyres of his jeep or show up on his doorstep and lay him out with one punch because the guy has biceps as big as Buck’s head. Tommy does show up on Buck’s doorstep, but just to talk and he reminds Buck of one of the reasons he liked him in the first place: he’s not like all the frat bros Buck currently lives with; he’s different. Tommy apologises for ignoring him and wants to put the whole thing behind them and start fresh hoping they could hang out sometime. 

And that second chance leads to a budding new friendship, which is what they both wanted. All the while, Tommy carries on living in the closet. After a month, Tommy realises he likes buck - and by that point he's not freaking out so much about his sexuality because he's met Karen and Michael, but he’s still in the closet. 

Meanwhile, Buck is still a clueless bisexual - until he starts getting jealous of his best friend Eddie hanging out with his new friend Tommy. He finds out Tommy is going to be at Eddie’s basketball practice so he weasles in on the game (because neither of them bothered to invite him, which was rude; just because he was a football star in college doesn’t mean he’s not interested in basketball; he’s interested in all sports, he has a great appreciation for athleticism). He ends up using too much of his strength to knock Eddie on his ass and he feels like shit for hurting his friend who will have to skip the team’s next game, and he also hates himself for being so needy. 

He avoids Eddie. And Tommy. And hates himself for a few days, until Tommy shows up beside his jeep after class wanting to talk. Buck is surprised when Tommy is the one who apologises for getting between him and Eddie— Buck has to stop him right there. It was his own poor behaviour, his jealousy to blame. Tommy reveals his own jealousy: that he’s jealous of Buck’s close friendship with Eddie and wishes he had a ride-or-die friend like that, but he’s not trying to steal him. 

And Buck points out that he wasn’t jealous of Tommy. He was jealous of Eddie. Because the two of them seem to have more in common than Buck does with Tommy, and he thought Tommy was going to give up on his new friendship with Buck because he found someone better. Tommy assures him that’s not the case. And Buck doesn’t know when they came to be standing so close, but he starts rambling about how he’s been trying to get Tommy’s attention— 

And Tommy kisses him.

And Buck. 

Buck kisses him back. 

Oh. 

OH. 

Buck likes kissing Tommy? He likes kissing a guy? He thought he was just good at the cock-sucking facet of frat life, but. Huh. And Tommy kissed him. He wanted to kiss Buck. 

Tommy doesn’t stick around. And Buck is left standing by his jeep for a few minutes while his brain reboots. 

Tommy knows for certain now: he has feelings for Buck. Fuck. But.. Buck kissed him back, he didn’t imagine that, so. Maybe.. maybe, what? 

The next time they see each other is in the company of their friends so neither of them bring up the kiss, but they find out they’ll both be at the post-game bonfire later. 

Tommy has been at the bonfire for an hour with no sign of Buck. Sal is well on his way to getting wasted and he keeps trying to get Tommy to join in with his meathead friends. But Tommy’s not interested, and he’s been nursing the same beer this whole time. Then he sees Buck, finally, past the fireline. 

Buck is nervous. He’s never— this is all new to him. But he’s looking forward to seeing Tommy, to talking about what happened. He hasn’t figured it all out yet, but he knows he wants to be in Tommy’s space for reasons he didn’t know about before. Like kissing. He wants to kiss Tommy again. And go from there. 

He thinks he spies Tommy over by the fire— but his view is blocked suddenly by a girl he vaguely recognises from a past hookup who is clearly a few red cups into the night and is all up in his space, flirty and handsy, but Buck isn’t interested, and by the time he manages to untangle her and get a look over by the fire, Tommy is nowwhere to be seen. Damn, maybe it wasn’t him. Eddie and Chim have a great night while Buck spends most of it looking for Tommy. He recognises Tommy’s friend Sal and asks if he’s seen Tommy, and even though the guy is wasted he sobers enough to tell Buck that Tommy left. Buck doesn’t stick around after that. 

Tommy heads back to his dorm feeling like an idiot. Buck likes women. And maybe guys (but that’s not his place to say), but not Tommy. It’s better this way. He doesn’t know what he was thinking. He wasn’t thinking. He knows he can’t play off the kiss as a drunken mistake, knows Buck now knows he likes guys, and just hopes he won’t hate Tommy for sober kissing him. He doesn’t think Buck would hate him for liking guys because he’s not like that despite the whole fratboy thing. Buck doesn’t discriminate, and he’s sweet, and smarter than people give him credit for, and has an insatiable curiosity and boundless energy and a smile that lights up even the darkest corners. Tommy wants to keep him in his life, and if that means shoving his feelings down deep until they hopefully fade, then that’s what he’ll do.

* 

..annnnnd I don’t really know where to go from there. I’m going to keep everything under the dick moves au tag, and I have some edits incoming.. 

[sunfudge]

I really do hope Sunday joins the Nameless. I think putting him on that train would help him heal from Everything

Also I wanna see him get involved in the Trailblaze Trio's shenanigans so bad

I agree! I really think he'd get along with Dan Heng, also I don't think March would give him a moment of peace either which would be so funny to watch lol I need to see her call him every single day of the week apart from Sunday

I have a lot of new thoughts about Astral Express Sunday that I want to put into a big post, but I also haven't had the time to as of yet because of work

To be brief about how I feel, I've been thinking about it a whole lot and one of the things I love most is how the members of the Express are reborn in a way which ties very well into Sunday's character.

Dan Heng doesn't want to be associated with the actions of his prior incarnation and is following a new path with the crew, March 7th doesn't know her past but is happy to travel with the express and live as she is now learning more about herself along the way, Welt comes from another world entirely and is now treading a new path in his current universe, the Trailblazer has had their memories wiped by Kafka and are discovering themselves aboard the Express, and Himeko started this all by paving the way for members of the Express to move forward via fixing the train. Sunday moving forward from his past and joining the Express really fits in with the crew, and even Dan Heng himself told him not to be shackled by the past, something he would really understand

Also the 'you have a noble soul...' ;_;

Sunday can't go back to the way things were prior to the Penacony storyline, that's over. His entire life has changed. The life he lived before is gone. He has no option but to move forward towards a new future which is exactly what he can do with the Express.

Robin has been able to travel to other planets, meet a wide array of people and form her view on the world based on those experiences. It's one reason why they have such differing viewpoints. Meanwhile, Sunday has been caged in the Dreamscape, rarely venturing into reality (as we see Robin encouraging him to please spend more time in reality in one of her letters) and the only views he was exposed to since childhood were that of Gopher Wood who had a vested interest in shoving the teachings of Order on him the moment he noticed his uncertainty, his kindness and his hatred of suffering, and pinpointed this as a weakness. This is especially evident when Sunday says, about the Dove, that he wants the bird to live 'no matter what'.

Joining the Express would give Sunday the chance to really experience reality. It fits into the idea of him being the bird that can't fly - what better way to spread his wings than with them? With how his reply to Robin saying they were meant to fly into the sky together was 'If only... I could...' him joining the crew would make me actually cry like a fucking baby lol

It would give him the chance to travel to various worlds just as Robin has, to meet different people with different perspectives on life, and then decide for himself what he believes based on his own life experiences and not on the grooming of his adoptive father. If it is a Paradise he wishes for, and he says he still wants to achieve that goal at the end of 2.3, then maybe he'll find one in travelling to help others.

I still really believe that the Death of a Crow readable is from Elio about Sunday, however knowing that Elio and the rest of the Hunters try to aid the Express, and with Firefly calling them the dark to the Astral Express's light, I wouldn't be surprised if the poem itself was about Sunday joining the Astral Express instead of the Stellaron Hunters. Elio's aim is to support the Express, so him pushing Sunday towards joining the Express would be in line with the Stellaron Hunters and what they've always done throughout the story - provided us with their help.

Sunday has had rebirth themes around him for such a long time now that him totally changing outfit and walking a new path to travel the stars when he's only ever been stuck in the Dreamscape, now being able to create a new life for himself, would be very fitting. Sunday's lightcone animation has him saying 'the end is also the beginning', along with the description for his sticker which also points towards rebirth.

ALSO the whole fallen angel rebirth thing, etcetera etcetera, right down to Jade offering him a deal that's super comparable to the forbidden fruit, but that's pretty clear, yet I thought I'd throw it in there

In my opinion, the Astral Express would welcome him. They thought he was trying to resurrect Ena at first, but they then realised he wanted to create a world without suffering. He was also willing to listen to what the Astral Express had to say, and I really think he would welcome them challenging his views. I do believe they'd welcome him with open arms, as someone who is willing to move on from his past.

Also Sunday talks about the Trailblaze like this

So there's that too

I... really want this to happen lol. And I'm so happy current leaks point very strongly towards it

[heyclickadee]

The first of several Tech Lives posts. I was going to do in show quotes, possible foreshadowing, and moments that are just kinda suspicious in one post, but just the quotes got too long. So, with the caveat that I’m arguing that I don’t think a Tech return was cut and that it’s just going to happen later than we expected, here’s a list of lines either said by or connected to Tech that could point to him coming back at some point:

"Better late than dead." Phee, as her introductory line, right before she starts hitting on Tech, "Spoils of War."

"Hey, I'm a survivor. Remember?" Romar, to Tech, followed by like a six second camera hold on Tech before he goes back to get into the ship. "Ruins of War"

The entire exchange about culture and memory; Tech's actual character arc was about experiencing life outside the war and the narrow definitions the war gave him. That was not an arc that was completed, no one steps up to fill that space or continue that arc, and maybe it’s not an arc that could have been picked up in season three without focusing on Tech and writing Omega into the background of her own show. Maybe it needed its own space.

This exchange (which I bring up because it happens right after Tech fixes Romar's databank and restores that cultural memory, and we do get the implication in season three that Tech could be running around with amnesia. So.):

Romar: You--you actually did it! Tech: Of course I did.

THIS exchange:

Omega: You did it! Tech: You sound surprised. Wrecker: I thought you were a goner.

Like. Come on. He drifts into a cloud of dust so that the outcome of the race is hidden from view at first, Wrecker and Omega thought he was going to die because he made the decision (in defiance of their requests not to) to do something that would have killed almost anybody else in order to save them, he succeeds and he comes out alive.

"I guess I owe you one, Goggles." Cid, in "Faster." This isn't something they just forgot about, either. Tech indirectly brings it up as a reason she should help them at the end of "The Crossing," and it actually does get Cid to relent a little and say that she'll see what she can do before cutting off the call. But, since she doesn't come through on that, she still owes Tech that favor.

This exchange:

Phee: Don't go running off with any pirates or smugglers while you're gone. Tech: No. This mission should not require either.

Because of course this isn't literally what Phee means, she even clarifies in the next sentence that this isn't literally what she means, but can we at least all agree that this is a weird ass way to say, "Don't run off with any hotties while you're out, I'm still interested and I'm right here?" There's no reason for her to say it this way…unless Tech is going to end up running into some pirates and smugglers. Which hasn't happened yet.

"See you around, Brown Eyes." Phee, the current last thing she says to Tech, in "The Summit."

This exchange:

Crosshair: Where's the jedi? Hunter: Stunned him when he jumped. He didn't make it.

you know, the one where Hunter and Crosshair are talking about Caleb, the jedi who very much did not fall to his death (which plants the idea that falling deaths are suspect right in the first fifteen minutes of the series, btw), is worded almost identically to THIS exchange:

Omega: Where's Tech? Hunter: Omega…Tech didn't make it.

And it's the only two places in the entire show that "Where's X?" is followed up with, "X didn't make it,” btw.

THIS LINE:

"We have to go back! What if he's hurt? He--he needs us! Tell him, Wrecker. We can't just leave him! No! Tech's not gone! He can't be!" Omega, to Hunter and Wrecker about Tech, in "Plan 99."

Two things. One, Omega is actually…usually right about this kind of thing. We never do get explicit confirmation that she has any force sensitivity, but we do get a somewhat implicit one that she does at least have a little bit of natural ability. And even if she doesn’t, when she has a feeling about something that feeling usually turns out to be justified. No reason this should be any different. Two, I got through the rest of this episode about a dozen times and the entirety of season three without ever knowing for sure if Omega even thinks that Tech is dead. The closest she ever gets is saying that she "lost" him, and then goes on to use that exact word in the exact same sentence to describe Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo being captured, and actually said that they'd lost Echo way back in "The Crossing" when Echo was very much not dead and she knew it.

And then when we get to season three, she never actually talks about That Time Her Brother Threw Himself Off A Gondola To Save Her On The Worst Day Of Her Life, and she only brings Tech up once, and only when prompted by Crosshair. I have NO IDEA if she's accepted that Tech is gone or if she even believes he's never coming back, we're given no real indication either way. You know what she WAS real explicit about, though? Demanding that they go back because Tech isn't gone and needs their help.

Honorable Mentions:

"This story changes every time she tells it." Tech, about Phee, in Entombed. This isn't an obvious comeback line, and it's a bit of a stretch, but the thing is. The thing. Is. That Tech being alive, especially depending on how he comes back if he is, when, who knew what, who was hoping what, etc. has the potential to completely recontextualize the entire third season, if not the entire show. A lot of things would be different without actually having to change anything at all.

"I thought it was obvious." Also not foreshadowing, but makes for one hell of a zinger if it turns out he's alive and the clues were there all along.

"Yes, I am playing against myself. It is the only time this game is a challenge," would be one hell of a line if it turns out Tech was forced to be someone else for a while and ends up really struggling with that once he's recovered. Not like. There's any hinting. That this is a thing that could have happened.

“The last time we crossed paths, you had just lost a member of your squad. And it appears history may repeat itself. CT-9904 resisted my conditioning in the past, but I've made alterations to my methods. If you all survive, you will make fine operatives. And if not, well, there's no shortage of clones to test on next.” Dr. Hemlock, “The Cavalry Has Arrived.” I blazed right over this line originally, but @eriexplosion brought up that it’s just *real weird* for Hemlock to be bringing up Tech and that history is going to repeat itself in the context of being right about to start CX-ing the others and being so confident it’s going to work. So here’s what I’m thinking might be happening here: either he CX’d Tech and Tech’s standing right over there in the room with them, or he did something else to Tech and Tech was the change he made to his CXing method. This is actually one of several reasons I don’t think the CX-Tech plot was dropped or cut, and that we aren’t actually done with this—we get little bits of hinting it’s him even in the final episode.

“This isn’t over.” Wolffe to CX-2, “Extraction” Like a few others in this “honorable mentions” section, this relies on Tech being CX-2 either physically or mentally. But I uh. Do think it points to Wolffe potentially having a run in with CX-2 again.

Controversial, but I’m putting it on this list anyway:

“Clone Force 99 died with Tech! We’re not that squad anymore!” Crosshair to Wrecker and Hunter, “The Cavalry Has Arrived”

I know.

But here’s why.

First, one of the long running narrative questions of The Bad Batch was whether or not Clone Force 99 could ever be whole—whether they could ever fix what the Empire broke in “Aftermath.” Because we never get a full reunion by the end of the series, the answer we get isn’t a “yes,” but it wasn’t really a “no” either. Because the entire Tech situation is so unconfirmed, and because the show did nothing to allow either the audience or the other characters to let him go, the possibility of a full batch reunion and reconciliation remains on the table. There’s still a remote chance that they can fix what the Empire broke after all. Maybe they won’t all live in the same place when all is said and done, but maybe, maybe they can still be a whole and complete family. Because the story never fully closed that off as an option.

And the thing is, the show could have had the family fully heal without Tech. They could have resolved the family stuff without him by dealing with him as dead and allowing everyone to treat their wounds and move on. But because we get this line in the last episode, because no one ever pushes back on it in a meaningful way, because Crosshair never takes it back, that’s not what the story does at all. So the answer we end up with here is, “Maybe, maybe not—but not without Tech, apparently. They’re still broken without Tech.”

Second, Crosshair has always been a little cynical, but this season went out of its way to establish him as Pessimism Georg, an outlier who shouldn’t be counted. The last time he said someone was probably dead, way back in “A Different Approach,” we knew it almost definitely wasn’t true and Omega immediately shut him down. He wasn’t there on Eriadu, he doesn’t know any more about Tech falling (he might know other things but we don’t know that) than the others and probably less, and I think there’s a possible future spoiler reason why they had Crosshair say this when Omega wasn’t around to hear it instead of any time that she would have been.

Third, like. Okay. Crosshair might believe Tech is dead. Crosshair might know something about what happened to Tech that no one else does, and might need to believe Tech is dead because of it. He might have suspicions about where Tech is. He might know nothing. Whatever Crosshair actually thinks or believes, though, one thing I do think we have to keep in mind here is that words very rarely leave Crosshair’s mouth without being sieved through fifteen layers of Crosshair being Crosshair, and so Crosshair frequently exaggerates, omits, talks from a certain point of view, lies, and so on.

He’s a genuinely perceptive guy who can read people and situations like no one’s business BUT his brain cells turn off and that big wounded heart of his takes over whenever he has to make a decision, so his internal logic makes sense but goes through such a tortured filter on the way he comes to some wild conclusions. (For example: The batch escaped without him and from his perspective, they didn’t do enough to give him a chance. Reasonable given what he knows about the situation. Justified. His solution to that is to capture them and invite them to the apocalypse to hear the galaxy’s worst business pitch.) He’s just. His observations are often good and, in contrast to his foil, Omega, who’s usually right about this kind of stuff, Crosshair has a tendency to come to the wrong conclusion.

And on top of that, let’s remember that this is a guy who will say the most cutting, ruthless, out-of-pocket thing in order to get a reaction or even to get people to leave him alone. And he’s good at it. It’s a skill. I’m not sure he even has a sense of what going too far looks like (I don’t think he left Tech out of his fight with Hunter because he thought it was a step too far, I think he left Tech out of that fight because he blames himself for Tech too much to blame Hunter for it). This is a man who told a child he would leave her to die if he had the chance. A child he would both kill and die for. So of course if wasn’t true, Omega immediately calls him out on it, but he still said it because he thought it would get her to leave him and save herself. It’s worth noting that the entire reason Crosshair launches into the entire “Clone Force 99 died with Tech” speech is because he’s trying to get Wrecker and Hunter to protect themselves and let him go into Tantiss alone.

Lastly, even if Tech was definitely dead, this line is custom made to get Tech spinning in his grave so fast that he’d spontaneously resurrect for the sole purpose of decking Crosshair across the jaw because what does Crosshair think he fell for then? You…can’t really have the final note on a man who (supposedly) died to save his family be that his family is irrevocably broken because he “died.” Which is another thing—they’re not just a squad. They’re a family, and Tech thought of them as a family. Like. Just. This entire line is just so perfectly crafted as something that feels like it needs to be pushed back against and refuted I’m just. I’m *biting biting biting*

All this to say that Crosshair should not be regarded as a source of objective fact.

Aaaand that’s. All the ones I can remember.

[astroyongie]

Treasure July Reading

note: Please take it lightly and enjoy <333

Hyunsuk

Love: he is still single at the moment and still not looking for any type of relationship. It also seems like Hyunsuk doesn't really believe in dating in the conditions he is in at the moment. 

Career: he is very confused about what the company is trying to do with them. To him this doesn't make much sense and he is wondering if the company truly has the best management for them. 

Self: some people around him might have noticed how his behavior has changed. He has been more cold, more reserved, less talkative and when he speaks it's very harsh. some people might be seeing him as bitchy and arrogant lately 

Jihoon

Love: I believe that Jihoon has recently gotten into a relationship. this is super new and probably has like one week old. this isn't his ex but someone compelled new who was interested in him and he accepted them as his new partner 

Career: he is in the same mental state as Hyunsuk when it comes to the career. He thinks that what they are currently doing isn't enough and that the management of the group is shit because they don't feel like they are working like the other groups. 

Self: there’s here some big energy that shows a very low emotional being with jihoon. of course this is just energy, but it seems like his mental health hasn’t been the best lately, there’s a lot of dark thoughts and so much little hope when it come to the world around him 

Yoshi

Love: he is still dating the same person he was back in May. things seem to be doing well for them and they are creating positive memories and also this relationship helps Yohsi being connected with his inner child. it's a very lighthearted relationship 

Career: I sense a lot of changement when it comes to his career. i have no idea if this is something positive or negative, but there’s changes for Yoshi that will happen very briefly 

Self: he is okay and doing fine. health wise everything seem to be good and even mentally he is happy and content. a lot of jo around him 

Junkyu

Love: him and the idea he used to date have recently broken up. At the moment Junkyu is going through a breakup and his heart seems to be grieving this relationship. i think he wasn't expecting his partner to leave them (as they were the one breaking up with him). 

Career: he is actually happy with how things are going. Junkyu thinks this is the best way to keep their population and to be successful. he believes that success and recognition comes with the “work smart not hard”

Self: he is doing fine too, both mentally and physically. as his self energy is very chill and calm and he mostly focused on living the day, day by day despite his breakup. 

Jaehyuk

Love: Jaehyuk is still dating the same person he was back in May, things seem to be doing well and his partner has been more in touch with his work too. I guess they often follow him throughout their schedules (this could be a hint). in any case, they are developing their relationship 

Career:money is coming to him and because of that he is happy with how things are going. as long as he gets payed for the work he produces, Jaehyuk doesn't care how the company manages the group 

Self: some issues here, mostly minor. I feel like he has been just a little overwhelmed or perhaps exhausted physically but other than that he is doing okay. a little bit introverted, i don't feel like he spends time with his teammates outside schedules 

Asahi

Love: this is a very complicated situation.. I think that Asahi is still dating his partner but they are currently in a very sensitive spot after a big argument concerning their privacy and how to manage the relationship. There is the possibility that the relationships ends in the next days if they don't reach a common ground 

Career: Asahi has been very disorganized. I feel like he doesn't come in time to his training, and he doesn't particularly put a lot of effort into his work lately. This is because his mind is also very solicited by all the stimuli in his life. the company is also over committing him to stuff he doesn't need 

Self: he is transforming at the moment, his energy is shifting and he is realizing a lot of things. This potentially can also be due to this almost break situation he is in. 

Haruto

Love: Single after his breakup in may and currently Haruto isn't looking for a relationship since his mind is already too full of his responsibilities and burdens as an idol and as a son for his family. things aren't easy for him

Career: for some reason this topic can be a little sensitive.. without putting much info, it seems like haruto is having some financial issues (that isn't concerning the company) and because of that him and his family are struggling for a few things 

Self: he is moving on with his life. despite the issues he is encountering, Haruto doesn't want to dwell on what's complicated as he wants it keep pushing forward 

Doyoung

Love: Doyoung is still dating the same person but there’s some issues here. due to schedules and also his partner’s life they haven't been together much lately. that type of separation makes Doyoung anxious, scared even because he doesn't trust to have his partner away for too long  

Career: he doesn't believe in the company nor their promise. i don't feel like his sponsor has been very present either in his life lately. he is just doing his job as per requested, but he is getting sick on how the company and some members treat him 

Self: he is very apathetic in my opinion, his energy is very low yet quite neutral as if he didnt care about the world (this could potentially show some emotional distress as well). 

Jeongwoo

Love: He is still single but he has a huge fat crush on someone that he is trying to get but he is way too awkward to actually get them to his side. Also Jeongwoo has some behaviors that his partner might find a little weird. he is overly moody and jealous whenever they speak to someone else, despite not even being in a relationship with them 

Career: he is all good with his company. he is the type of idol who is very well protect and has the good people by his side and because of that, no matter the decisions of YG he will follow them without much trouble

Self: he is physically and emotionally okay it seems, his energy is rather on the positive stance. He has been very focused on his work, into practice but also financially stable and productive 

Junghwan

Love: He is still in a relationship with the person he has been for the past couple of months. Junghwan is happy with his relationship since they are very secure and sure of their feelings. he is also making sure his partner are able to enjoy things (financially speaking) 

Career: I see some conflicts here. Junghwan probably had a huge fight with one of the managers when he started complaining about a few things. but i also see a conflict with fellow members for smaller things that could be solved with time and communication. 

Self: oh hum.. well i wasn't expecting this, but Junghwan needs to be very careful who he calls friend and perhaps listening to his manager would be more wise since he might have done a few things that could be potentially problematic

[crimsonboggarden]

Fuck it drunk rant-

I fucking hate how everyone os reacting to Megumi saying he wants to "try for once, living for someone else" (rough translation aside) for Ssssoooo many reasons

1) The sanctimonious - the ppl mad because characters should come the currently most acceptable and "fully realized" understanding of self-actualization understood from a Western, therapy awakened standard possible or else it sends the the wrong moral message because that's what storytelling is

Fuck the fuck right off. I hope people don't bring this attitude to real life folks in their actually offline, or fuck that even online, encounters struggling with mental health issues or other such things. I say that as most of these folks are taking the interpretation that Megumi is essentially fighting depression.

You know what's not helpful for a person fighting inner demons? The sanctimonious coming in and saying "actually, the progress you've made is fucking not enough because it's not self actualized enough, let me tell you what you should be aiming for".

Everytime I read one of those comments it remind me of Margaret Cho doing a charity run for the unhoused as a way to keep the memory of Robin Williams alive and posting the things most requested by the unhoused, which included tampons and being inundated with comments from ppl bitching about how "tampons are actuality really bad for the vagina" and her response of "you more what's really bad for vaginas? Fucking homelessness"

That, that's what y'all sound like to me

2) But my satisfaction!!!!!#@$$ - the ppl who claim the amount of change is the marker of good storytelling. This is the same bs as ppl who erroneously define the protagonist as the one with most action/change etc, or "the good guy" (these are not mutually inclusive or exclusive). This idea that a story's job if to take a character from point A to point B and if B if not where I as consumer has wanted it that is the author's failure.

Guillermo Del Toro said that there's only really two types interesting characters. I can't quote I'm drunk right now. Essentially there's the character that's interesting because of why they change, and the one that's interesting because why they won't. Is that reductive? Maybe, but it's a hell of a lot less than saying "with of fiction is bad because in middle school I was told good right follows this character arc, and this story didn't fit the mold so bad"

3) the fucking lawyers - I don't know why everyone thinks works of fiction need to go on trial to be tested agaisnt an imaginary metric of did it do X, Y, or Z. A person tries their damndest to give an idea within the medium they work in, within the constraints it comes with, whether that's time, money, space, language, oversight, tech, etc, etc, etc... and as a creator you use the means you have to attempt to guide towards an idea.

And just personally, I think it's a more interesting endeavor to ask what or why that choice was made as opposed to it is "right" or "wrong" because - I hate a great many works of fiction after thinking about what an author means, or why after reading their work - mostly more so after confirmation from themselves that's exactly what they meant.

But I really hate this thing where ppl want to day something is bad because it clearly says ____ without any consideration of why an author might have gone that route.

People have gone into great lengths digging up the mudras used by various characters and what that might mean, no matter how obscure of a reference, but immediately drop any more digging when it doesn't seem to serve their purpose.

I think this particularly pisses me off because that line made me reevaluate everything I thought I knew about the character of Megumi Fushiguro.

All this time I thought of him as someone defined by living for others, namely his sister. But he was someone I thought shackled too his function as sorcerer to Gojo, savior, no matter how temporary to Yuuji, and caregiver to Tzumiki. And yet he what gives him the edge to break from Sukuna is the idea he has never actually lived for another yet.

And I realized, he's right, and maybe he's always known. In the very first... or 2nd i forger, episode when Gojo asks why Megumi wants him to find a way to spare Yuuji's life and Gojo asks pointedly "for personal feelings" - yeah. It's about himself. Megumi may lead a live defined by his devotion to others, but he still doesn't actually let anyone in. It's one-sided. To the point he's an asshole to Tzumiki when she's finally awake.

And it mashed perfect sense for his character, it's a flaw, it's a place of growth, blah, blah, blah- but as a viewer it was easy to feel his actions meant he was living for others. Maybe most of the time he also believed he was. But the lack of genuine connection meant it wasn't real. And I don't think I've seen any piece of media or literature of moder times talk about that distinction, the only ones I can think of are actually Buddhist folktales/folklore/later literature. And in keeping with the themes I can't imagine that wasn't intended or didn't have influence.

All this being said. I don't think JJK is an absolute perfect piece of media. But I'm not interested in perfection, I'm interested in thought out choices, and interesting perspectives. There's a lot I would have wanted to see come from Megumi that Charly will not happen.

But holy fuck, did the process of thinking about "what do you mean love for someone else?! That's all you've been doing, Megumi! Is this a translation error?! Okay, noo.... that's a close enough translation, that's what that pretty much means.... fuck.... man, that means..." make me really reevaluate my entire perspective.

Ultimately satisfied, unsatisfied, that's flimsy. But that single line reminded me of so many Buddhist stories that reminds me why human connection is so important to the spirit - and the responses defined why I feel so very much alone.

I got into this series for it's blend of action acton and horror, stayed for the rampant queerness that must stay just an angel's breath away from spoken text, to find "oh shit... this person reminded me of what monks had been chanting for millenia". I don't need people to like or dislike that. I just hate that people think for whatever paradise they're stuck in they think someone's hard work is wrong. And damn... if that's not an ironic fucking response to surrounded by when for the first time in maybe a decade you find something that makes you think "that's right... connection is worth the pain of life"