#I actually had to take a whole class about this but it was in the context of scientific literature
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ requiem of a cringe
did something embarrassing last night and was like "I need to go crawl in a hole and die. OR I could write"
type of post: blurbs characters: cater, rook, jack, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral (the term "damsel in distress" is used in vil's part, but it's meant to be teasing and not indicative of the reader's gender), reader is yuu, rook is rook
I. Talks Too Much
It's not that you're trying to be annoying.
Your mouth simply moves faster than your mind, and before you know it, you've been talking for twenty uninterrupted minutes about... well... nothing.
You always notice that uncomfortable, irritated look on their face just after you're done. And then you keep rambling in an attempt to make it less awkward (it never does).
And now you're here, hiding in the hedge maze outside Heartslabyul, thinking about getting lost and never coming out of it.
Of course, if anyone were to find you now, it'd be him.
"Hey, hon~ you busy?"
"Please, not now, Cater," you mutter.
The boy stills, looking a little taken aback by how miserable you sound.
"Are you still upset about that thing at the Unbirthday Party? That was hours ago, babe! I bet no one even remembers,"
You physically cringe. The faces of your uncomfortable tablemates won't seem to leave your memory...
"I remember it," you murmur, burying your face in your hands. "I'm so annoying."
For once, Cater is quiet. A minute goes by, and you think he may have left, until you hear the grass crunching under his knees as he kneels down and pulls you into a hug.
"You are not annoying. And even if you were, it'd only make me like you more," he mutters, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"Understand?"
Your surprise at his change in tone doesn't stop you from hugging back. "Understood,"
You hadn't meant to say all of that.
You just spilled a potion you'd been working on for hours, and amidst your frustrated floor-scrubbing, you had vented about your entire week to your poor lab partner, a person you had been trying to impress all semester.
He had, gracefully, let you finish your rant, and then let you sit in it, just like the harmless potion now coating your knees as you cleaned up the floor.
Then, he awkwardly said: "That... sucks. I guess. I don't know what to say,"
There had probably never, in your whole life, been a person who looked more unhappy to be around you.
Afterwards, you found a nice spot in the woods behind campus to die.
You lie there, hoping nature would reclaim you before next alchemy class, when some purposefully loud rustling in the bushes catches your eye.
"Ah, Trickster! You really should not lie like that- a predator will take that as weakness, non? Are you injured?"
"Only my pride,"
"Talking about it will make you feel better," Rook says. It's more of a demand than a question.
You sigh. "I think I've done enough talking for... ever, actually,"
"Nonsense," he suddenly straddles your waist and pins your wrists to the earth. "I will not move until you tell me the problem, mon cœur."
You're like an animal in a snare. Once Rook has made up his mind, that's it. He will find out.
And so, with a sigh, you let him take the kill- that is, you tell him everything. Your whole, terrible week, the potion incident, the look on your lab partner's face...
When you're done, he's just. Smiling. "I see now. You are embarrassed,"
"Well... yes. You don't think that's embarrassing?"
He beams. "You are simply overflowing with beautiful emotion and passion for la vie! How could I ever find that embarrassing? You and I are not so different,"
In a weird way, that makes sense. Rook is never one to let shame hold him back from expressing his feelings.
He smiles at your pensive expression, and gives you a kiss on the head.
"Mais, next time you are upset, maybe you should come to me first, non?"
II. Clumsy
Forgetful, scatterbrained, oblivious, dimwitted are all words you've become used to hearing.
As well as a few colorful swears.
You have two left feet, even when you're not dancing- you're used to walking into walls, tripping, and dropping things- it just sucks that you have an audience now.
The first years that had gathered around the mess you made- tripping over your own feet and spilling the papers you were meant to deliver to Ace and Deuce all over the floor- are watching with grins and phones out.
You pretend they're not there, even with their taunts and whistles and laughter.
"Hey! Loitering is a waste of time!" someone barks. Literally.
You look up to see Jack moving through the crowd, scolding the other first years for blocking the hall.
When he sees you in the eye of the storm, on your hands and knees picking up your spilled papers, something upset takes his usually-stoic demeanor.
"What's the matter with you?!" he snarls at the boys. "Didn't anyone teach you any manners?! It's rude to stare- and laugh!"
His ears are flattened against his head when he kneels down beside you to help, collecting the papers, and putting them in your hands.
"Come on, we'll be late if you keep 'sittin there,"
Jack pulls you to your feet and gives one final snarl to the other first years before walking you off.
"...Thanks,"
"Eh? Don't mention it," he says. "Leona woulda had my tail if I just walked by..."
You know there's more to it than that, but you don't push. You're just happy he's forgotten to take his hand out of yours.
You can't handle being the center of attention.
For good reason, too- you're awkward, clumsy, and about the least graceful a person can get.
A true Ugly Duckling at a place like NRC. But Vil Schoenheit sees the swan in you. Perhaps that's why he's always been so patient and sweet.
It's a little distracting.
So much is obvious when he waves at you in the hall and, distracted by his smile, you walk right into a wall.
Though you can't see anything but stars after falling on your butt, the stares and snickers of everyone else are hard to miss.
Vil glares them away with a look that could kill twice over, and then stands over you as you lay on the floor.
"Come on," he says, holding out a hand. "I'll check you for concussion."
He brings you to Pomefiore and sits you down, shooing off a few curious underclassmen as he checks your pupils. "Do you feel nauseous?"
"Not really,"
"Then you'll be fine. Just a bump. You really should be more careful, though,"
You've heard that one before. Vil smiles at your dazed expression, and presses a cold compress against your head.
"This will help with the swelling,"
"Thanks," you mutter, still a little out of it. "You're my hero."
His eyebrows raise in true surprise, and then he chuckles. "And that makes you a damsel in distress?"
He doesn't give you a chance to respond before taking away the compress and kissing the red mark on your head.
"Don't think that being so cute is going to distract me. I'll make some time for lessons on poise this weekend,"
III. Unsociable
You'd think that being quiet and staying out of people's ways would get them to leave you alone, but it really just attracts more attention.
And after a grueling period of your tablemates making you the butt of every joke ("wow, I didn't know you could even talk!" "are you quiet because you hate us? come onnn, you can tell me!") you were ready to bury yourself alive.
"I don't ever want to leave," You mumble into the bundle of sheets and blankets on Idia's unmade bed.
"You could stay, y'know," Idia says from his desk, mindlessly scrolling through some gaming forum. "I should blackmail Crowley into letting you stay down here at least half the year."
"Couldn't it be the whole?"
"Nah. You need like, sunlight and stuff,"
"And you don't?!"
Idia snickers. "I'm built different. You know that. I get all my nutrients from blue light... You could at least stay for the weekend, though,"
You roll your eyes.
"...And I'll leak those normies' data. I'm sure I could get into their browser histories and have that emailed to their parents,"
Hm. You genuinely consider it for a moment, but eventually decide to give mercy. You're basically a saint.
"I think I just wanna pretend like I don't exist right now,"
Idia nods in understanding and pushes his gaming chair over to the edge of the bed, before crawling in and wrapping himself around you.
"That can be done. Pancakes tomorrow?"
Sure, there were people who talked to you, but you didn't talk back.
You just don't know how, you suppose. Every time you try, you end up saying the wrong thing, or are accidentally rude, or do something embarrassing.
You don't understand the references people make. You don't get social cues or hints. You have the social skills of an oyster.
Four months at Night Raven College, and you didn't have a single friend.
Well- except for him.
"How are you enjoying your tea?" Malleus asks, polite and curt as ever.
You take another sip- it's tangy, sweet, with a hint of bitterness. Some sort of Briar Valley blend that Malleus had imported just for you.
"I really like it,"
He smiles. "I'm pleased,"
One of the things you find so agreeable about Malleus is his simplicity. He often says exactly what he means; albeit, in a sort of 13th century Lord sort of way.
There's less stress with him. You don't have to pretend to be interesting, or outgoing, or cool. You can just be... you.
Because he likes you.
"You know," you say with a faint smile. "You're so nice to me. Sometimes I think that you're the only person I need. I could be happy with just you for the rest of my life."
You had meant that casually, but when you look back up from your cup, Malleus has this... look.
Wide-eyed, his lips pressed firmly together. There's even a dusting of color on his cheeks.
"Oh," you internally panic. Was that too much? Was that weird? Did you make things awkward again? Crap, you should have just acted normal, what's wrong with you?! "S-sorry, I-"
"Do you truly mean that?"
You go quiet, looking back at him with wide eyes. Your heart is pounding against your chest.
"...Yes,"
Malleus hums, his expression becoming more... pensive, and then...
He smiles. "I feel the same. Shall we go for a walk while the night is still young?"
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#cater diamond x reader#rook hunt x reader#jack howl x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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I keep giggling at 1 am in the morning about the idea of an A/B/O SVSSS Au where Shang Qinghua is an omega but absolutely sucks at it.
So imagine that he's presents as an omega, but to Shang Qinghua, he can't seem to feel it. Everyone else seems to feel his 'omega-ness' when he presented, so it's probably just him that can't feel the change. The system himself said that he was an omega (A/B/O was never canon, so Airplane wouldn't have thought about what secondary gender SQH was) so he just has to roll with it.
The rest of his story is just him flubbing and epicly failing at this whole Omega thing. Even his system has given up.
His Non-A/B/O first life as Airplane has left his brain incompatible with his body, the motor skills and instincts that you're supposed to have going with your secondary gender are out of the picture, it is not built into his mainframe, so he's basically a de-facto beta with extra no second gender psychologically speaking.
His superiors are keeping a wary eye on him, his fellow peers a wash of mixed reactions to his overall behaviour, worried about who he is and his complete disregard for norms or basic instincts.
He appears completely scent blind to pheromones, nor does he seem to be able to control his own. His master remembers a time where he was the unfortunate victim of two aggressive alphas fighting in the dorms, causing so much havoc they ended up breaking his inkbrush.
The scent from him when it broke was so acrid and sharp they immediately ceased, though he seems to be none the wiser, acting in his usual cowardly manner while shakily asking them to stop.
His martial brothers have never seen him nest in all of the years he's been on the peak. Not a single piece of clothing, not anything comfortable. He simply had a single pillow and a blanket for cold nights as he dozed off. It doesn't help that he avoids everyone like the plague, so even if he tried, he didn't even have anything to build one with
(The system tried to give him the task of making a nest, and he completely misunderstood, building an actual bird nest on his mattress. The system decided not to give nor take points, simply choosing to shame their host for this stupidity. Shang Qinghua keeps it by the windowsill, a memento for unintentionally spiting fate and living.)
In comparison to the rest of his fellow An Ding Disciples, he's antisocialism incarnate, zero bonds that connect him to anyone. (Shang Qinghua can't afford that, not unless he wants the weight of people on his conscience when he betrays his sect.)
It's kind of like that one classmate everyone is familiar with, but no one actually knows them. They just see him in class and forget the rest. He's scarily competent in group works and is capable of working with people, but he's never gonna respond to your text to hangout after the project is submitted and graded.
His master sees this as a detriment. How is he going to be able to have healthy relations with his future pack as a peak lord if he can't seem to get the initiative to actually communicate and bond with them.
So he coordinates a trial run with the Bai Zhan and Qing Jing Peak to help their own head disciples get a grip. A mission to be given to them to get them to open up and become closer as friends.
It backfires tremendously, only ending with the three of them becoming more prickly or antisocial. Only the most formal of greetings will ever seem to come out of Shen Jiu's mouth now, barely hiding his sharp demeanour. Liu Qingge seems to be at least willing to talk to others now, but his relation ship to the future leader of Qing Jing has now soured.
And Shang Qinghua is now more apathetic to the idea of bonding to his future pack, rathering to become completely detached from them.
(Shang Qinghua is destined to be a traitor, so why should he allow himself to experience the cruelty of betraying someone he cares about. It would be kinder this way)
[Love the fact that I just went absolutely everywhere with no coherent thoughts. Enjoy the word vomit I guess.]
#svsss#mxtx svsss#mxtx#shang qinghua#Shang Qinghua is a very mysterious person to CQMS#I wrote one half of this at 1 am and the other after I slept. there is a tonal difference when you do#liu qingge#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#I'm just insane at this point#Do I know what I am talking about? No. Is this very Shang Qinghua Core? Yes.
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Shooting classes // Jayce Talis.
S1!Jayce Talis x male!Kiramman!reader.
Summary: Jayce's always been close with Caitlyn's brother.
Angst/Fluff.
Jayce sighs deeply. First day as councilor and now he has so much to do after his talk with Caitlyn. As he makes his way out of the Kiramman residence, a sharp loud sound makes him jump, he looks around, birds flying off the trees.
Another one.
Then another one.
The councilman hesitantly walks around the garden, he stops as he sees you, gun in hand and eyebrows furrowed in concentration, a target lifts off the ground and less than a second you've shot it back down. Jayce stays extremely still, not wanting to be shot by accident or making you miss and lose concentration which is worse on his book. You lower your gun after emptying your gun.
"That was quite the show." Jayce speaks with a teasing tone, you whipped your head in his direction, taking your ear plugs out and smirking, a small redness crept on his tanned cheeks.
"if it isn't the man of progress." You teased, his cheeks feel a little warmer as he walks closer to you, his hazel eyes looked up and down at your outfit, so fancy even if you're in the middle of your garden shooting.
"Oh please, don't call me that." He rolls with eyes but let's out a small laugh, his eyes looked over to your targets.
"Bold of you to practice near your mother's vases and the old statues of your family." He spoke softly, you chuckled and shrugged.
"How's Caitlyn?" You asked as you loaded your rifle.
"She's- doing better." He didn't want to elaborate, maybe he shouldn't snitch to her older brother about how she's playing detective and definitely not about how he's going to help her now that he's part of the council. You nodded along to his words.
"Got a new toy?" Jayce spoke with curiosity, you lift it for him to see it, he pulls away from you, taking the rifle in his hands, his curious hazel eyes roaming all over it, his fingers brushing it like he's trying to dissect it in his mind.
He mimics the position you held earlier, holding the gun out towards a target. He chuckles softly and looks at you as if waiting for you to stop him.
"Go ahead, golden boy." You spoke softly, Jayce smirked. He is not a sharpshooter, he's never shot a gun but he's seen you and Caitlyn practice for years. The taller man nods and takes a deep breath, you take a couple of steps back.
His eyes are on the target, his finger pulls the trigger. The sound makes him flinch, he stumbles a little back and the butt of the rifle hits his shoulder slightly, he swallows a whimper.
"I think I got it." He says confident though, his characteristic toothy smile shining bright. You smirked and pointed, the target was untouched, the tree behind it whatsoever had a bullet hole on its side. A deep red crept on his cheeks again, he mumbled something incoherently that made you laugh.
"Oh do not get all embarrassed now, Talis. Let me show you how it is supposed to be done." You muttered quietly, what he didn't expect was your hands touching his body.
"Just fix your posture a little more.." You spoke softly, your breath clashing against his cheek, he nodded and let you move him, you were gentle and it made him tingle.
"Arms up." You fixed his arms, positioning the rifle properly and feeling his muscles under your hands.
"And..." You tilted his chin, he felt actual shivers down his spine, his hazel eyes meet yours, your face closer than ever.
"You do not know how to kiss!?" You said out loud, Jayce covers your mouth quickly.
"Don't tell the whole academy about it!" He whispers angrily, you chuckled and a small drunk hiccup makes you jump.
"I told you because I want advice not for you to make fun of me!" He whispered again, you rolled your eyes and nodded, your words were muffled by his hand but he could understand you saying you won't make fun of him again, his hand pulls away.
"Just- what am I supposed to do? I don't want to disappoint this girl." Jayce sighed, taking a big sip of his beer and running a hand through his hair.
"Just be yourself, mate! Don't think too much about it, you just lean in and go at it!." You stated matter-of-fact. Jayce stared at you, as if telling you that it wasn't that easy, maybe you need to be a little more descriptive. You take a swing of your beer and scoot closer to him.
"You get a little closer, tell her about her eyes, about how- you admire her and how you're inspired by her." You spoke softly, the taller man leaned closer, nodding along your words and listening intently, his eyes never leaving yours so he does notice the blush creeping into your cheeks.
"You- stare into her eyes, get lost in them for a second." You said even softer, the two of you stayed silent, staring into each other's eyes.
"And then I kiss her?" He asks snapping out of your thoughts, you nodded, before you could take another sip of your bear, his big hand cupped your face and he leaned in locking his lips with yours. You gasped as he deepened the kiss, his other brand on your waist, leaning you back against the bed of his dorm.
"There, you can shoot now." You said simply but Jayce's eyes were down on your lips, you had that feeling, before that night at the academy it was butterflies, having him close and just to yourself. After that night, it felt like nausea. Like a mistake it shouldn't have happened, a drunken night with a regretful ending and having to endure the following years of meetings girlfriend after girlfriend made it worse every time.
At least you still had his friendship, his love, even if it wasn't how you wanted it. But it lingered, with every hug that was a couple of seconds too long or with a short praise or even seeing him in the crowd in your shooting competitions.
His eyes got back to the target but then they returned to yours, his big and shiny as always as he lowered the rifle.
"Are you planning to kiss me and not talk about it for years again, mate?" You asked without thinking, the taller man stared at you with wide eyes, his cheeks a deep red but also it felt like a shot directly into his heart but you've always been like that, ironically even your words hit the target. He could see it, the mix between teasing and genuinely hurt in your eyes.
"I'm sorry about that night." He mutters softly, you freeze, that's not fair you weren't ready to have this conversation right here right now.
"I'm sorry I didn't talk about it the next day, nor ever. But I was scared." His big puppy eyes looked up at you, your face softened, you could never stay angry at him.
"Scared of losing your friendship, of not being enough for you. It was stupid-"
His words are cut short by your lips sealing his. His eyes widen but then close, leaning in and his big hand on your waist. You gasped softly wrapping an arm around his broad shoulders to keep him close.
"Let me make it up." He mumbled against your lips, you looked up into his eyes, the pleading gaze that stares into you.
"Let me- show you the love I feel for you that I always felt." Jayce whispers with a small quiver into his words, your eyes widen and your cheeks feel warm at the sound of that word.
"Please." The cherry on top.
"You know the way to my bedroom." You answered with a small smirk, Jayce smiles, a relieved but nervous laugh escapes him. He leans in for a second time, this time hungrier as he tastes you, before you know it, his arms wrap around your waist and legs and he picks you up, making you gasp and chuckle, burying your face on his neck and leaving soft kisses along it.
A/N: FIRST JAYCE FIC YAYYYYYY!!1!1!!11! I hope you like it! Excuse me if it's a little ooc for Jayce but it's my first time writing for him! Send requests! (Divider)
#arcane#jayce arcane x reader#arcane x male reader#arcane x reader#jayce talis x male reader#jayce talis x y/n#jayce talis#jayce talis x you#jayce talis x reader#x male reader#arcane jayce x reader
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Hi there! I just read through a few of your long form posts -- the one about the boss and the glue traps and the lizards, the one about the friend and the radishes and the cop, and the one about the breakup and the car and the neighbor's car and your dad -- and I'm just really blown away by your writing. And I'm just curious, are they actual experiences or are they fiction? They read like actual experiences, and the writing is so naturalistic and...idk, low key sweet, stream of consciousness without the major sidetracking that often happens in stream of consciousness writing and also more...more poetical in a way, I guess. I don't know. Are you published or wanting to? I mean I couldn't help with that or anything but if you've got a book out I'd love to read it.
Patrick McManus was kind of THE legendary writer to my family. When my dad was a kid, he'd sit on the porch the door that the monthly copy of Outdoor Life was going to arrive, and as soon as he got it, he'd run in with it and take it to his dad, who would gather all his kids around and read the stories out loud.
My dad loved it because his dad would make a whole performance out of the readings: He'd do voices, pantomimes, dramatic sound effects, the works. The stories are amazing, but the out-of-character behavior from his dad was half the selling point. Grandpa Hank was, to his core, a good man. But he was gruff, and socially, pretty stiff, and he didn't often show emotion. I think my dad said he saw him tear up one time growing up, and it was when he got dropped off at the MTC. My mom was married to my dad for three years before Grandpa Hank was comfortable enough to sit down in their house, and he liked her. That's just how he was.
(You just praised me for not getting sidetracked, but I'm letting myself wander down those memories a bit. He died last year. I miss him terribly.)
Anyway: Those stories were how I first started learning how to spin a yarn. I got older and I got more influence than just cowboys and Westerns, but the soul of my style is still just The American Tall Tale.
Which is to say that they're not outright fabrications. When I say that I cut all the worms up in my backyard and had a panic attack and hid in a tree until my mom got me, that happened. But I only remember the vaguest outlines of the words that were said. When there's a line in that story about my mom telling me that she's sure the worms will forgive me because they got six hearts to love and no bones to pick, that's not how she talks. That's how I talk.
Other stories, they're far less fuzzy than that, but I can still point out things I don't know. Wrestling story was from middle school, and a lot of those "crisp details" are just me painting by vibe. I've had some people that did wrestling through highschool point out things like refs not actually counting to three, or how double-legs are not actually super effective for tall wrestlers. I don't actually know how much the woman I wrestled weighed, nor do I remember how much I weighed, except that I was more than two weight classes smaller than her. Car incident, I got broke up with, went to her parents door, waited on the lawn, and was given some olives to go with a wireless phone. But exact wording of a lot of the people involved fails me. As a rule, the weirder an event is, the more likely I am to be distinctly remembering it and not just filling in the background. Except for dialogue, which often turns out weird because when I have to make up things for other characters to say, it carries too much of my own speaking style in it, and that's always been weird.
There are even points where things do come right off the rails. In the stories about J post, J himself became a sort of mythic figure after he moved, and lot of the stories about him, I don't even know I'm remembering them first hand or second hand from a story someone else shared with me.
I know it would be easier to just go, yeah, they're true, or no, they're not, but I did a weird thing and mixed them up and now even I'm a little confused.
Regarding publishing: I'm not published, and the thought of trying to get published scares the shit out of me. I
I don't know. If anyone has advice, I'd be interested.
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Do you think that Ms. Bustier is overhated?
Not particularly. I don't have any strong feelings about her, but she's clearly a terrible teacher who is in way over her head. I totally understand why she sets some people off. If she was a real person that I actually had to deal with, then she'd probably set me off, too, because she so perfectly encapsulates toxic positivity. If you're not familiar with that term, then here's a quick definition:
Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead. Although setting aside difficult emotions is sometimes necessary temporarily, denying negative feelings long term is harmful because it can prevent people from processing their emotions and overcoming their distress.
Read that definition and then look at this scene from Zombiezou:
Marinette: But Miss Bustier, it's so not fair! It was Chloé, pulling another...Chloé! And...I'm the one who's getting in trouble?! Miss Bustier: Of course you're not in trouble, don't worry! As the class representative, I want you to set a good example for your classmates. Don't give into feelings of anger. Try to forgive Chloé instead. Marinette: I don't get it... Chloé is the meanest person I've ever known. Miss Bustier: Come on... There are much worse people in Paris right now than Chloé Bourgeois. I'm sure people like Chloé are capable of great things. The problem is, they only think of themselves. They don't understand the meaning of love, and we can't force them to change. But perhaps we can show them by setting a good example. That's why Marinettes are so important in today's world; because they have a lot of love to give. I'm counting on you. Marinette: Yes, Miss Bustier.
This is toxic positivity in action. Marinette is told to set aside her extremely valid feelings as if anger is a terrible thing, but it isn't. All emotions have their place and ignoring them can do real harm, a lesson that Miraculous really struggles with. It seems to see "negative" emotions as bad and they're really not. What matters is how we express and address our emotions, not that we experience them. If you want to see a family friendly piece of media do this topic right, then go watch Pixar's Inside Out.
There's also the fact that Chloé is never punished for her actions in this episode. She ruined a gift that probably took Marinette hours and yet Miss Bustier puts the onus to fix things on Marinette, blaming the victim and doing nothing to actually fix the situation. Canon mildly complicates this with Chloé's father's willingness to meddle, making punishing her apparently impossible, but Miss Bustier doesn't even acknowledge that here. The stated logic is that you need to be nice to your bully and that will hopefully magically fix things, which is a terrible lesson that I don't want any kid to learn! What kind of logic is that?
I'll admit that I'm a big fan of "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind," but that doesn't mean that you should never acknowledge harm or fight back. It just means that you need to be measured in your responses and pick your battles wisely. If this episode was about that, then I'd be fine with it, but that's not the lesson here. There is no point where the wrong done to Marinette is even mildly acknowledged. Miss Bustier's initial reaction to seeing Marinette's ruined gift is:
Miss Bustier: Well, I think this present is wonderful. It'll be my new cosmetics bag! Then I'll be able to think of both of you every time I use it.
And we go straight from that to the toxic positivity.
Something is wrong with this woman. You shouldn't even take this approach with preschoolers! While I could see this being a good final solution to something like Chloé scribbling on Marinette's drawing, Chloé's behavior still needs to be addressed. She is still the one in the wrong here. The one whose behavior needs to change.
This is one of many cases where there are two paths to take with this character. The writers clearly want Miss Bustier to be a wonderful teacher, but they wrote a victim-blaming disaster who shouldn't be in charge of anyone. If you're ever adapting her, then it's up to you if you want to redesign her into her intended self or if you want to lean into the bad writing. I think both paths have merit because the writing is so bad that there is no way to make canon Caline work as a good teacher. She's too fundamentally flawed so you either acknowledge how awful she is or do a major overhaul where she's much less forgiving and actually acknowledges things like the Chloé problem.
#justsomedumbrussianteenageboy#ml's wacky morals#Caline Bustier salt#ml writing critical#ml writing salt
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random not so random arcane parallel or whatever this is
One of my favourite arcane relationships is that between viktor, jayce, and Mel (and not just cause them plus me is my dream polycule).
But another thing about them is how their storylines are so very different yet so deeply similar and intertwined and one of the reasons why is because they, more than anyone, time and time again share the theme that you can't escape where you come from.
I say them more than anyone else because they practically have entire seasons dedicated to that sentiment. Season one is them attempting to escape who they are (jayce, a scientist, Viktor, a person from the undercity, Mel, her family and that past) while season two is them being forced to look that past in the eye and embrace it.
The thing is, this embracing ends up not being for the better with Viktor because in returning to the undercity he feels indebted to "heal" it and then the whole wide world goes to shit. On the other hand, Mel and Jayce are forced to look their demons in the eye and work through them. Mel's case is more obvious, but with Jayce, though he doesn't go back to being a scientist (he can't really do so given the circumstances) and still takes on a leadership role, he does revert back to his initial dream of progress. He does something good for Piltover. That's all he wanted.
But though it was for the worse with Viktor (until the last literal five minutes of the show when he rethought his values and his actions thanks to Jayce) and for the better with Mel and Jayce, it takes elevation for Viktor and degradation for the other two for this change to happen. There is a parallel between Mel and Jayce in which they are both stuck at the bottom of a cave of sorts, and Viktor is quite literally floating in his paradise. It's a sort of heaven and hell, but strange because in this situation Mel and Jayce have little reason to be punished so severly (or at least, if they are being punished so should the eugenist but whatever). I guess it could be commentary on what one deserves based on whether or not they do something about their preconceived beliefs and the circumstances of their birth (because we know that they think pilties = good, zaunites = bad when it's actually the other way around) but that's a whole nother conversation.
But again, the whole heaven hell thing shows that the only way for them (particular Viktor and Jayce in this situation) to undergo great change was to see life from the perspective of someone, at least symbolically, opposite from them (as in going from the top to the bottom of society and vice versa). And it's even odder because the great change that they experience is literally just a reversion to who they were supposed to be from the start. They had to see life in an opposite way to go back to being the same.
It also shows that a person of a "lower class" can be elevated to the heights of heaven and we can call them a success (because they are) but there will forever be something wrong if someone is placed below someone else. All it proves is that the existence of a class with more power than another is bullshit.
Ekko (and alternate Powder) says that sometimes the only way to move forward is to leave some stuff behind but with Mel, Jayce, and Viktor the only way to move forward was to quite literally do the opposite: they had to reaccept what they'd left behind to do some good, real good in the world.
#I dunno if this makes any sense I wrote it in like ten minutes#arcane#arcane season 2#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce and mel#mel medarda
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been doodling some bri'ish wildlife - love seeing these guys. because they are the classics aren't they?
#my art#animal art#illustration#''love seeing these guys'' has only ever seen 6 of them#as if the elusive dormouse would ever grace my presence. and i still doubt the existence of snakes in england#drew the fox and pheasant because they're symbolic for two of my silly ocs then was like why not make a whole page of these suckers#lots of fun! if anyone's interested i'm gonna open up some slots to draw animals like this on kofi or something soon#can be pets etc. ocs too maybe but they'll be more expensive. not sure how much i'll charge for them but we shall see#lots of art to come...........i swear on it...........i'm about to go for a walk and maybe i will finally see a grass snake#(it's raining so this will not happen)#animals: ring necked pheasant. grass snake. european badger. red fox. barbastelle bat. mole. red squirrel. hazel dormouse. and hedgehawg#i had to compress this to hell it's so large#i need to take like a base photoshop class to learn how to actually use it cause the size of my files is actualy getting ridiculous#if i didn't compress this it would be 30 mb. this cannot be normal
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Started my morning off by indulgently reading a book about Palestinian history for two hours straight when I should have been studying instead….. and it was so peaceful
#actual history? devoid of the shitty tumblr think pieces?????? I was in heaven.#and now I have to crunch 827272 different flash cards before I leave the house but that is fine#I strongly recommend this btw like life feels better when you’re relying on actual citations / credible information#vs what some chronically online dum dum has to say about something they know nothing about#this also goes without saying but look up the credentials of the person who wrote the book obviously#I actually had to take a whole class about this but it was in the context of scientific literature
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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AUGH
#Robin processes emotions on main#so for my honors project I HAVE to print out copies of my poetry chapbook. and I HAVE to do it with the Official Campus Print System.#and the Official Campus Print System only prints things that are made using PROPRIETARY DESIGN SOFTWARE#that not ONLY would I have to pay multiple tens of dollars a month for#it isn't even compatible with my computer apparently.#WHAT IF I JUST DROPPED OUT OF THE HONORS PROGRAM RIGHT NOW. WHAT THEN. WHAT WOULD THEY DO ABOUT IT#SIIIIIIIIGH#I hate not knowing what I'm doing!!!#I don't usually get angry at anything but this is making me angry because it's so POINTLESS#just let me print my stupid poetry book in PEACE 😭 I'd even bind it myself if I had to!!!#I would actually be seriously considering dropping out of honors right now except for 3 things#1) I do want to finish writing this chapbook. I do want to physically produce it (though I'm frustrated with the requirements for that).#2) I'm working with my favorite professor on this project and I don't want to give up that experience#and 3) if I lost these 2 credits it would mean I'd have to take a whole nother semester of a summer class. and pay for it. yikes.
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casey also talks about sepang 2015 what do you think of that
oh in that podcast? uh... lemme listen again...
yeah idk it's not really anything new I'd say? he's said basically all the same stuff in more interesting and extensive ways elsewhere. I think casey inevitably has a very 'well feuding is bad and helps nobody' point of view, has expressed that before in the past, does it here again, and he's also drawn a parallel between himself and marc on several occasions. which... well, of course there's similarities in terms of public discourse or whatever, but the parallel really falls apart whenever casey argues the feuds cost valentino. like, I do think it's sometimes important to just. keep in mind. it's interesting that casey draws this comparison in his mind but that doesn't necessarily means he's right about this. I'm not sure how you'd argue that starting a feud with casey cost valentino anything competitively? you can argue it didn't help him I guess, and then we can have a debate about the ins and outs of the 2008 season. we can also have an argument that in a hypothetical world where casey isn't ill in 2009, valentino doesn't break his leg and casey isn't on a piece of junk in 2010, and valentino isn't on a piece of junk in 2011-12, then actually maybe valentino sparking open animosity with casey COULD have cost him. but we don't know that! didn't happen! I wish we could have found out, but we never got the chance! as it stands, the tally on this is pretty straightforward: casey won the title when things were reasonably civil between them in 2007, and valentino took control of the following season at the exact moment he worsened the relationship between the pair of them in 2008. obviously, it's all more complicated than that and casey would of course argue laguna didn't negatively affect his subsequent performances... but it certainly didn't help them. like, at the very worst valentino escalating tensions in 2008 is a complete net neutral. after 2009, them being bitchy to each other every other tuesday was completely competitively irrelevant beyond maybe affecting how they approached occasionally fighting for a podium position. hey, maybe casey used that feud to fire himself up through sheer spite throughout the later stages of his career, but that doesn't actually support his anti-feud stance - it's basically the exact same thing as what valentino does. they're both quite similar in that regard! always so hungry to prove a point, to show how someone else is wrong. kinda half the point with this feuding business is to get yourself going, get yourself motivated, yeah. he straight up openly admits to using yamaha's repeat rejection of him as a way of giving himself motivation, and at the end of the day that's really not all that different?
anyway, what else does casey say... oh yeah, that him and the other aliens were already kinda prepared for this and had learned vale's tricks. that valentino had only been able to get into the minds of the previous generation. welllllll *wiggles hand* sure, I mean, he did clearly have to change his approach... he couldn't just use the exact same playbook to get to them, either on-track or off-track. but that's why he did change up the playbook... again, whether you want to believe valentino won his final two titles 'in the head' rather than just through pure pace kinda depends on how you assess the evidence, but it is at the very least a debate. and, y'know, it's always worth remembering that valentino's most important mind games with casey didn't happen in a press conference... it was on the track. and the on-track stuff really is just embedded in how valentino approaches winning. speaking of aliens, this is what dani and jorge have said:
like, valentino's entire approach to his riding, even to the way he's setting his bike up, is deliberately about directly fucking with you... he's not actually always trying to be faster than you as much as he's trying to give himself the tools to make your life miserable, to pressure you into mistakes, etc etc... and again, especially with casey (if anything because he was so mentally sturdy), the off-track stuff was really just window dressing. (I know they bicker a lot after 2009 but it's just so fundamentally irrelevant to actual on-track competition.) so you can be aware of those tricks, but it also doesn't necessarily help you when someone's being nasty to you on-track in a way you just fully do not enjoy. which is what it was like for casey! for casey, a lot of this comes back to the truly unpleasant context of how he was perceived by the public, how he was treated as mentally weak or 'broken' or whatever partly because he had the misfortune of coming up against a bloke who had the reputation for breaking rivals. I think it's quite natural to end up with a bit of a hardliner 'actually I've never been mentally affected by a result in my life' stance - and of course casey is a lot tougher than a lot of people give him credit for. that being said. sometimes your rivals affect you, shit happens, it's part of the game. it's fundamentally a nice idea to think that valentino's tactics weren't just morally wrong but also ineffective, which is kind of the appeal of this narrative, right? you want to believe you're above that, you want to believe you were adequately prepared and wise to valentino's tactic. it's unsurprising and understandable that casey does tend to tell the story that way, but again it's *wiggles hand* also hard to describe it as completely factual
uh. what else. oh I'm thrilled casey does canonically know valentino and marc were friends, he has said he wasn't following motogp too much during that time period so you couldn't be sure of that. does this mean anything? does it tell you anything? well, no, but it's just a pleasing thought to me. I like that. oh also 'provoking particularly aggressive riders isn't a good idea' is kinda a funny take from casey? like, he of all people would hate the idea of being cowed by someone's reputation like that... casey's right that provoking fast riders can potentially be dangerous, but y'know I do think that's probably not news to anyone almost nine years later. um. that's all I've got I think
#i will say idm getting asks like this AT ALL but i do hope that's not like. the only bit of the podcast people are paying attention to#my thing with sepang 2015 takes is that like... when's the last time anyone has said anything genuinely interesting about that event#which yes big words from the feud blogger... but in fairness a lot of the sepang 2015 stuff is from old notes. that's my excuse idc#but that's kinda the thing... i feel like i haven't really had a new original thought about the whole drama for three plus years#u do kinda run out. basically the takes say more about the person saying them than about the actual event at this point#which. yeah. casey's comments on sepang '15 are primarily interesting in what they tell you about how he feels towards valentino#mind u he's actually quite nice about valentino in this one? casey call him let's finally organise that dinner#heretic tag#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#oh casey does go on another spiel against riders who win at all costs. ships that passed in the night of feuds i always say#also he gets the age he enters the premier class at wrong. i held myself back in the last post from pointing this out for tonal reasons#but if people want my podcast hot takes. i do simply have to mention it. just to set the record straight here#'they battle for podium places after 2009' genuinely. twice. like the alien era giveth but a lot of the time it really does just taketh#somewhat ironically casey wins the duel when he's on the shitty ducati and vale wins the duel when he's on the even shittier ducati#whatever that tells you idk#casey was always promising the laguna rematch would've gone differently and I love that conceptually but also we just don't know#he was like next time I WON'T play nice and it's like?? omg what does that look like. casey what were you cooking#for ethical reasons it's probably fine but for character arc reasons it's objectively ass that casey ended up being able to do all his -#- racing in a way he was entirely comfortable with for his second title in 2011. like it's just a complete waste of a year#you have this whole thing building for four years and then 2010 comes along and it's like. well that's enough narrative intrigue now! <3#also casey/jorge are fundamentally too interesting as individuals to have had such an obscenely boring on-track rivalry and yet here we are#it KILLS me because if you rearranged it and made valentino's dogshit ducati years like. 2009 or something#and do a straight title fight between jorge and casey THEN I genuinely think it would've been way more interesting#the problem with valentino is that he is fundamentally the WORST imaginable character you could invent to be casey's foil#literally everything about valentino could have been designed to be a casey-specific nightmare#but unfortunately that also makes him objectively the most interesting rival casey could have gotten#like morally it's on the edge. but narratively? literally could not have gotten a better villain in casey's story#constantly dancing on this faustian line of having to imitate valentino to beat him while trying not to lose yourself... juicy
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hi. for people who saw gatsby: an american myth. do you remember mckee asking nick for lunch. and then gatsby in like the next scene inviting nick for lunch. because i remember.
#not pjo#chitter chatter#when gatsby was like 'we should do lunch' i was like. hello. fucking. hello. are we. hello.#gatsby really said we just met literally 5 minutes ago. come meet my father figure. normal normal thing to do jay.#to be clear gatsby also asks him to go to lunch in the book. but like. there's a time skip. and also#in the show after mckee asks they immediately start making out on the couch. none of this ... nonsense#so the vibes are a LITTLE different in my brain.#i saw a few people say they didnt think gatsby and nick flirted enough and like while i do think that think part of it is we're#in nick's pov but not his HEAD#he DOES start singing about gatsby's smile for no reason until jordon is like. alright buddy. lets talk about daisy.#like nick was just Doing That. pull it together carraway.#but i got the vibe (JUST my take) that gatsby was like. kinda into nick. zero reason to be leaning into his space like that sir.#however when he actually MET daisy again he became kinda singularly focused on her again#i mean he built his whole lifeup to this moment#he says it at the end. he murdered pieces of himself to bring himself here. for DAISY.#him snapping back to daisy mode makes sense to me but he still reaches out for nick as a comfort in the sense that hes like#nick do NOT leave please stay with us. daisy does the same. and ofc part is that theyre really. fucking awkward. but like.#LET ME HAVE MY OWN NONSENSE INTERPRETATIONS. HES TRAPPED BY WHITENESS AND CLASS AND HETEROSEXUALITY.#hes already so much of an outsider trying to fit in. (i also think he loves daisy or an ideal at least. and she's EASIER to love. safer.)#nick inherently has more freedom even as a gay man in the sense that hes richer and white and an ivy league dude i mean you understand righ#right????????#even if its in the book i do wanna point out the parallels between those moments. im choosing to see it as deeply intentional <3#this show had a lot of repetition and parallels (see daisy and myrtle in a lot of songs and scenes)#(one i LOVE is tom giving myrtle a necklace and daisy later giving TOM her necklace in case he sees anyone he knows. idk love that shit)#im...gonna queue this#im embarrassed to talk about this show so much. so. into the queue it goes!!!#all the worlds a stage#so like. anyway. thats where i think nick's mind immediately went when gastsby asked him for lunch. personal headcanon <3#gatsby after one convo: we're doing lunch // me and nick immediately: oh ok! guess that's a date then!
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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art students are suuuuch babies dude i actually can't believe all the profs are so nice i'd be grabbing people by the shoulders and shaking them and yelling "JUST REMIX THE FUCKING COLOR WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN 3 PAINTING CLASSES AND YOU STILL WONT EVEN ATTEMPT TO MATCH A COLOR THAT YOU MIXED BEFORE WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME DO YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO DESIRE TO IMPROVE OR DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE PERSON WHO IS ALWAYS MAKING INCREIDBLE WORK IS ONLY OUTSIDE FACTORS YOU CLAIM TO HAVE NO CONTROL OVER RATHER THAN WORK AND A WILLINGNESS TO TRY CHALLENGING THINGS
#i actually was talking about this w one of my classmates during lunch today we were like yeah i feel like there's a lot of people who just#have tons of excuses all the time and don't really take it seriously and don't want to actually try hard#like in our classes we have noticed a lot of people like this this semester. and we have the little chat and then we go to class and the#whole time our other classmate is crying to me abt how her paints that she had mixed got too wet? in her stay wet palette bc i guess she put#too much water on the sponge? idk i use paper towels in a tupperware so idk what her struggle was.... 30 dollar palette btw....#anyway she was crying to me the whole time about how she couldn't possibly use those paints and i was like. cant you squeeze out more paint#to correct the consistency? and she was like no i can't remix them i don't remember what colors i used to get these specific colors#and i'm sitting there like. okayyyy. and then i was like can you not just use the watered down paints i think it actually is better bc you#can get really subtle blends and build it up slowly (the entire point of the assignment btw) and she was like no it's too watery even for#that (it wasn't) i encourage her to try anyway and she starts putting it down making no effort to blend in between layers and shows it to me#and it of course looks awful and she's like seeee it doesn't work. okay girl sure i guess just don't fucking do the assignment see if i care#like why are you complaining to me why are you not just MAKING AN ATTEMPT TO GET BETTER AT SOMETHING#what do you think school is FOR#and of course she had a headache. and of course she didn't sleep well. and one million other things. you're not gonna make it. you're gonna#apply for the bfa program and they're gonna deny you and you're gonna make up some reason it somehow wasn't your fault#god i hate to be mean i think it's valid to struggle and get frustrated OF COURSE i do it all the time but i never ever see her just like.#make something. without making up a million reasons why she could t do x better or get it done even CLOSE to on time#and there's like 6 of this girl. but she's the one who sits next to me so it just drives me extra!!! crazy!!!
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me all of last week: why tf am i even more exhausted/fatigued than normal all i can do is go to jobs and then go to sleep and i can't even focus on it think about ANYTHING
me yesterday: *realizing I haven't taken my be-less-sleepy med for an entire week* Ahhhh... right...
#ran out on Monday but my psych changed clinics and my appt with her at New clinic want until thurs#i want able to get it until thurs#and then i completely forgot to add it into my daily med thingy until today 🤣#and today I'm just like WOW I'M NOT UNBEARABLY EXHAUSTED!!! I WONDER WHY- oh yeah#TJGFUGFHGHJ#Modafinil you are my hero of they ever try to take you away from me i will fight and i will kill#literally i am unable to do anything but sleep without it like I'm still so tired on it but it's a million times worse w/o it#and i only started it last year so i had to deal with too-sleepy-and-fatigued-to-literally-even-exist disease for god what since 2011 or so#anytime I'd bring it up I'd just be told to have better sleep hygiene or whatever bullshit#like I'm the kid who ALWAYS fell asleep in class and anywhere else THIS ISN'T A ME PROBLEM THIS IS A MY BODY PROBLEM 🙄#and anyways there's a reason I've followed my psych to 3 diff clinics she is INCREDIBLE#she's started me on so many meds that ACTUALLY HELP MY PROBLEMS!!!!#and literally never questions or doubts that the things i tell her i deal with are true it's just 100% belief in me#which is soooooo amazing and refreshing after an eternity of ppl never believing me about medical shit ever#and anyways I'm rambling far too long lol but yeah it's insane the utter life changing differences having good drs and right meds can make#and if i ever lose my night job i won't be able to afford ANY of this shit so... I'm trapped there for all eternity 🤣#it's not a bad job at all it's the whole having to have 2 jobs things that sucks#OKAY ANYWAYS SHOWER TIME BEFORE I RAMBLE INFINITELY MORE LMAO#chatterbox
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i WAS gonna complain about horror being a skeleton and therefore never able to do the akanbe face but then i remembered. i'm an artist!! i can just DRAW him doing it 😇😇😇 ok but he doesn't have eyelids iKNOW ill figure it out ok
#im going on a short vacation that means prime time to slack off and mtthink#and i have some drawing ideas froM LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO that i never drew because i had no motivation or even time#so now i can do it :3333 lets (me) see if i still even like the ideas#and i have Saturday and sunday and mondayOFFschool and then i leave on wednesday morning ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#and that gives me prime time to draw draw DRAW#and theres like 20 days left of October i really should get to work on that animation meme#i WILL trust i swear#if not i kill myself#jk! (fashion au?)#ive been using kaomojis now. jk killer would too#ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#me taking like a whole week on a shitty hrkl little writing thing when it was leagues easier to just describe my idea#i REALLY had a vision and then i was reminded that writing is boring and that a vision expressed through words cant keep my attention#anyways i finished another little dust doodle of a song that reminded me of him#now it is time to actually get my life together and shower and brush teeth#the only homework ive got is reading a few pages#i have been ON TOP OF MY HOMEWORK since school started bro😭😭😭😭 ive been SUCH a good student 😭😭😭😭#so much free time at home and yet none of it is spent on doing anything but laying down and lazing about#come on! come on! you need to get up! use your brain! PLEASE TRIGLYVERUVLE PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTSINMENT#forcing myself to do something i find fun when i have no motivation to get up is so annoying#iWANT to draw iWANT to think i WANT to write (eh) but i just nonono feel like it (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)#tricule rant#actually today i found another song that could fit horror but i just glanced at the lyrics#if i aint mtt pondering at the very least ill be connecting them to songs#new art project is gonna have HINTS of mtt in it. not really but if im aware of them then they exist#i love art class i love learning about art principles i just wish i could apply that shit to my work#well DIGITAL work. doing stuff traditionally always feels so much easier
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