#I actually don't know what to say
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly don't like that i found a lump that i can't find an explanation for and will likely have to get biopsied to test what it is. thaaaaaat is really not good news for me rn. rlly not making me feel great. fuckingggg yikes.
#hikey#i actually don't know what to say#bc i am trained to feel a lump and jump to the big c#like that is the prevention method my family has learned is if you feel something then you say something#bc the big c runs in my family as much as fat asses and brown hair does#my mom used to joke she was going to get my sister and i full body MRIs for our 18th birthdays ... ya know .. before she died of big c#almost every single person in my family has had some kind of big c removed whether it was skin bone liver brain colon throat or other#so it's not an if question for me but a when#and i was really hoping for another decade or two before it became something to worry about#i'm getting so far ahead of myself it literally could be a cyst or any sort of thing#but again. i'm trained to feel a lump and immediately hit the big c panic button#also like ... do i tell my family?? do i talk to my friends?? they're all gonna worry and panic too#but i don't want to get everyone all riled up and freaked out over something that turns out to be nothinv#idk idk idk#i've literally thought through it before so many times of like would i tell my loved ones and at what stage would i tell them if i had it ..#ahhhHhh happy monday everybody!!!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.
#like ppl will be like 'kids love to lie' but i think whats going on is the human inclination to storytell. which is pointedly different imo#and like to be clear im not saying they dont know there weren't actually coyotes in their house#its just that like. they don't know why it would matter
54K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
#i hope i didn't sound rude btw i am saying this respectfully and this is directed to the ones who push these hcs as canon#if you have your own theories and know abt aroace stereotypes but are respectful abt it this is not for you keep scrolling#i actually think showing jinx (who has been dehumanized by the fandom A LOT) in a romantic relationship is good for her character#and viktor letting himself be free and loving what he considered imperfections thanks to jayce at the end c'monnn they need to make love#tired of disabled characters being treated as babies and always hc them as aroace let them fuck#this being said i am aware there are more terms inside aroace etc etc etc and there are more ways of considering them aroace etc etc etc#this is NOT about that it's about being aware of how 'mmm it's the vibes!' argument does NOT work when it's stereotypes#it's like saying 'wow this robotic character is giving me autistic vibes idk why' LIKE CMON NOW WEFNEWLFNL YOU KNOW WHY#please don't cancel me i am giving my humble opinion as someone aroaspec#at the end of the day you can do whatever the fuck you want tbh#i'm not the shipping police here#arcane#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#jayvik#timebomb
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
source
#titan#titan submersible#oceangate#titanic#the titanic#''catastrophic implosion'' is how they're describing it#they have no idea if they can recover anything because of how deep it was#they also don't know yet when it imploded#I will say. the way they're wording this#it probably imploded before people started looking#they keep saying their listening devices would have heard an implosion#but that it did definitely implode#destiel meme#I love you meme#destiel confession meme#what is this meme actually called#I realize I have no idea
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8d938b90ed6957e7ccfdedd30922cb86/dd840945dcd40ebf-40/s540x810/b0da2c32e80842d679c07c084564125c0d96420c.webp)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6a33264b17add33bb5bea0100d59cf28/dd840945dcd40ebf-d9/s540x810/ff129a982ed0e416d968c6724e1aeea274549806.webp)
If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/411be220186d69ae4202de3cdfb09dfe/4c19bea2e6c00f89-14/s540x810/d6f67668113733ad42eec5a0fbbe67618cb9db7b.jpg)
Leblanc!Jayce & Mel
I was going through Arcane frame by frame and found these. Had fun drawing.
Fun fact (not): Everyone whose form Leblanc was taking are dead.
#leblanc#mel medarda#jayce talis#kind of#meljay#also kind of#they're my atypical ship#neither romantic nor endgame but very much there and fun to explore#also i don't actually know if this is sth leblanc would say but i like to imagine#what do actual mages think of hextech and its fathers?#sth funny to think of: a pair of unhinged scientists dooms your world in ways some mages who were actually trying to do it couldn't#my art#arcane
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
one of the reasons it's really hard for a lot of intersex people when intersex topics are on the news cycle is because the public's reaction reveals how little anyone knows or cares about intersex people, including people who call themselves our allies. almost every time intersex topics are trending, the discourse surrounding them is filled with misinformation. people who only learned today what the word intersex means jump into conversations and act like an authority. endosex/dyadic/perisex people get tripped up over things that are basically intersex 101, with tons of endosex people incorrectly arguing about the definition of intersex, who "counts," DSD terminology, and so much more. i've seen multiple endosex people say today that they've been "warning intersex people" and that we should have known that transphobia would catch up with us eventually, which is an absolutely absurd thing to say given the fact that consistently over the past ten years, it has often been intersex people sounding the alarm on sex-testing policies and also the fact that many, many intersex people are also trans, and already are facing the impacts of transphobia. there is an absolute failure from the general public to take intersex identity seriously; people seem not even able to fathom that intersex people have a community, history, and our own political resources. instead, endosex people somehow seem to think they're helping by bringing up half-remembered information from their high school biology class which usually isn't even relevant at all.
and this frustrates me so fucking much. not because i want to deny the impacts of transphobic oppression--i'm a trans intersex person, trust me when i say i am intimately aware of transphobia. this frustrates me because there is no way we can achieve collective liberation if our "allies" fail to even engage with basic intersex topics and are seemingly unaware of the many forms of intersex oppression that we are already facing every fucking day. if you are not aware of compulsory dyadism, if you are not aware of interphobia, if you are not aware of the many different ways that intersex people are directly and often violently targeted--how the fuck do you think we're going to dismantle all of these systems of oppression?
if you were truly an intersex ally, you would already KNOW that this is not new, and would not be surprised--interphobia in sports has been going on for decades. you would know that we do have a community, an identity, a history--you would have already read/listened/watched to intersex resources that give you the background information you need for allyship. you would know that although there is a really distinct lack of resources and political education, that intersex people ARE developing a political understanding of ourselves and our oppression--Cripping Intersex by Celeste Orr and their framework of compulsory dyadism is one example of how we're theorizing our oppression. It's absolutely fucking wild to me how few people I've seen actually use words like "interphobia" "intersexism" "compulsory dyadism" or "intersex oppression"--endosex people are seemingly incapable of recognizing that there is already an entrenched system of oppression towards intersex people that violently reshapes our bodies, restricts our autonomy, and attempts to eradicate intersex through a variety of medical and legal means.
you cannot treat intersex people like an afterthought. not just because we're meaningful parts of your community and deserving of solidarity, but also because intersex oppression impacts everyone!!! especially trans community--trans people will not be free until intersex people are free, so much of transphobia is shaped by compulsory dyadism, the mythical sex binary, all these ideas of enforced "biological sex" that are just as fake as the gender binary.
it makes me absolutely fucking livid every time this shit happens because it becomes so abundantly clear to me how little the average endosex person knows about intersex issues and also how little the average endosex person cares about changing that. i don't know what to say to get you to care, to get you to change that, but we fucking need it to happen and i, personally, am tired of constantly being grateful when i meet an endosex person who knows the bare minimum. i think we have a right to expect better and to demand that if you're going to call yourself our ally, you actually fucking listen to us when we tell you what that means.
okay for endosex people to reblog.
#personal#intersex#actually intersex#actuallyintersex#interphobia#intersexism#compulsory dyadism#trans#lgbtqia#transphobia#also to be clear im not necessarily mad about people not knowing or using the term compulsory dyadism. bc that term in particular is newer.#and from a dense academic theory book. so that's something that i understand why ppl might not yet know. i just brought it up as an example#and my main point is less about which specific terms people are using. but more just that endosex people seem incapable of recognizing the#actual material instances of oppression that are already happening. and teh history of that. and the systems#set up to enable it#like idk i don't care if you don't know or use a term if you're otherwise aware and understand how the sex binary is fake and all the#discriminatory ways society then enforces this. and how it fucks intersex people over#you see what i'm saying?
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
When Schrodinger was talking about the cat in box that's both alive and dead, he was talking about Kalina. She's a goddess's familiar, she's a plague, she worked for Fantasy MI6, she died, she came back, she got rage stared, she snapped her own neck, she came back as the companion for a god borne from a Fantasy Mormon child's misplaced belief. She's alive and dead, good and evil. She worked tirelessly for 800 years towards one goal and then fucking abandoned it (maybe.) Her goddess thinks she can fix her. Her goddess's wife always hated her. She is everyone's problem at all times and holy shit is she a Problem. What a fucking legend.
#what a pussy#i can't not damnnit#i will make pussy kalina jokes until the day i fucking die#anyway what the fuck#like... seriously though#what is her fucking deal#like i say i want to know but i don't actually want to know#if you know what's going on in the box it's not Schrodinger's cat anymore#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#kalina
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
(ID in alt) you guys even fuck w/ the flash on here???
#dc comics#dc#wally west#irey west#the flash#the flash comics#gonna be so real. i am more a fan of irey than i am of wally. technically speaking#BUT I'M GOING TO TRY TO READ MORE WALLY THIS YEAR TRUST so long as it's fun#i bought the born to run tpb but it's currently held hostage at my uni accomodation (postage mixup)#anyway yeah. daddy-daughter duo of all time. what if your dad was your hero and the best man alive and also a massive dork and loser-#-who frankly sometimes really pisses you off but you love him so so much and you know you don't ever have to worry about him but you do#and also you were pretty much his carbon copy <3#this actually just started as me practicing running poses and then. spiraled#i don't normally fuck w soft shading and tbh I'm still not sure i like it here much but hey!#can't say i didn't try
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
"Good" Acting
i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill
#also a lot of female actors don't get recognised despite being fucking GOOD#that's not to say minority actors can't always be bad#of course we can#I'm just saying#sometimes#for SOME shows in particular#ahem ahem#some actors might get very heavily criticised for reasons that have very little to do with their actual technical skill#and more to do with the politics of those criticising them#also I'm not talking about me here#before anyone says that#I'm talking about some actors I know who have recently been criticised in my opinion quite unfairly#despite doing something very difficult#like oooohhh i dunno#playing two roles in the same show?#and doing it very well#displaying some amazing technical mastery of body and voice technique#but hey what do I know#oh wait I went to drama school and I'm a professional actor lol I DO know#I'm just a woman so I have to couch my expertise in cutesy self-deprecation lest people think I'm a bitch
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hawke family fleeing the Blight
I have some thoughts on my Hawke having to deal with another Blight and keeping her family safe again. But that's too long for this post, so I'm just gonna add it to my list of Dragon Age fics that I still need to finish...
#dragon age#datv#dragon age 2#hawke#marian hawke#fenris#fenhawke#fenris x hawke#Marian Hawke you will always be my favorite DA protagonist#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#dragon age carver#carver hawke#dragon age aveline#bethany hawke#actually i will ramble about this here because what do you mean kirkwall is gone???#that's hawke's home don't tell me she has to abandon her home AGAIN due to the blight#given that we have to say goodbye to a certain character i really wanted to see kirkwall one last time ya know???#but maybe i'm biased becuase DA2 is my favorite
720 notes
·
View notes
Text
and on today's episode of Eddie Diaz and the Sudden (but Wonderful) Absence of Personal Space
#was working on some requests last night and something possessed me#I leave to your imagination what Buck is insisting Eddie buy#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#911 fanart#art entry#couldnt be bothered to look up what the lafd tshirts actually say or look like </3 if anyone knows don't tell me#scheduled posts
936 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0fb1507e604fe04ee447111702205512/df7a8753d5e5607b-7d/s540x810/0dceaef6928b4ada0457f52f5a6a6b489f205d42.jpg)
Regarding the Cherry Wine Incident.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a1ad78ea31f6453f627af82db4184871/df7a8753d5e5607b-1e/s540x810/b969e6c505648f09fc7229701b042edbedb501bc.jpg)
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#prince zuko#katara#atla art#sokka art#sokka fanart#tales from the couch#hozier#cherry wine#atla modern au#the gaang#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#atla sokka#sokka of the water tribe#princess yue#Yue is an AURORA and Paris Paloma girl. Sokka most definitely isn't. Hence the “weird coven music” comment. Please don't lynch my boy#(I can do that myself)#Zuko may play into the punk/alternative emo aesthetic sometimes but he is most definitely a Literature and Lyrics™ guy.#So of course *gestures wildly* Hozier.#(Zuko's “your sister?” comment is because Katara also fits Sokka's description. Florence + The Machine will do that to you.)#But I digress#Sokka—may La protect his soul—isn't really...lyrically inclined; shall we say. He just knows what kind of music Yue likes and goes:#“Slow music cottagecore vibes and lots of poetry—hey! She'll absolutely love this!!!”#Which is funny because he actually DOES like poetry. He just doesn't have a musical ear.#That being said—don't go around proposing to people with that song; kiddos. It's about domestic abuse.
719 notes
·
View notes