#I WIN EITHER WAY LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

[cephalopodsquad]

CMLL VS BCC I CANNOT LOSE!!!

[fumifooms]

Honestly I wonder if anyone’s ever read Chilchuck’s “I cheated on her” admission as an implicit reference to prioritizing alcohol over his marriage and feeling guilty abt it.

Ohh… "I cheated on her" as a half-truth because something ended up taking priority over their marriage, because emotionally he was elsewhere… "I cheated on her" because after having all the time in the world to think about it now that he’s alone, he realizes that that might have been how she felt, and that’s how it felt like to him too.

Love that. I def think he’s ironically someone who deflects guilt a lot, in a similar way that he compulsively goes "You’re wrong! I don’t care about you guys at all! I’m an asshole!" he flees emotions by making the problem something else that’s fake, a burden easier to bear, he’s so used to being seen for what he’s not after all. I went into it a bit in one of my fics and in a couple meta posts, but when it comes to his wife he was very much like an ostrich with his head in the sand, seeing her fall into a bad mood on the outing before she left him but dismissing it as something "sudden" that’s not worth thinking deeper about. Overdrinking is a problem for future Chil. I think he did a lot of "You want me to drink less and you’re afraid for my health? Get over it lol" and "I should be less strict with the girls and raise my voice less? My father was a strict drunk and look at me, I turned out functional and great! The girls are literally fine and love me" and "Oh? My drinking is affecting our family? No it’s not smh smh get off my back"< Drunk a significant portion of the time he spends at home since he’s off-work and somewhere he can relax. Type of guy to always dismiss any issues that might exists because he prefers ignoring them as if they’ll go away. All his problem solving energy is spent during work and the issue is with his family he already likes things as they are, they’re his comfort zone and change is scary, he doesn’t want the change, even if it’d be better. He doesn’t want to change, his unhealthy habits are guilty pleasures he wishes people didn’t try to make him feel guilty for

BUT POINT IS he struggles with guilt and like. Letting it be a feeling that he gets sometimes, so it’s all bottled up and festers and gets twisted into frustration or such like how his worry usually does. I like this take, wether it’s something he’s already thought a lot about or it’s something he’s repressed that came suddenly pouring out of him like blood out of a wound, now that he’s putting it into words with someone for maybe the first time.

It’s interesting how he didn’t refuse going up to the bicorn, I’m sure part of him wanted to see if it would like him, like the virtue test it is. Would a monster that loves despicable men be magnetized to him? Would it confirm his fears?

[number1rizgukgakstan]

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR FINALE PART 2 LIVEBLOG: SPOILERS AHEAD

ITS GAME TIME BABY! :D I'm so ready for this. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Spoilers Under The Cut!

GOD their outfits are so fucking cool. I love their bullying of Brennan. it's so great I love it. I CANT BELIEVE THEY DIDNT TELL HIM thats so funny.

"I spent 217 dollars at Hot Topic" Real for that Siobhan.

I would have KILLED for Brennan in Emo Kid Clothes but alas. Some other time.

FABIAN'S ABOUT TO DO THE COOLEST FUCKING THING :DDD

MIRRORS??? MIRRORS?? ROMAENCE PARTNER APPEARANCE MAYBE??? MAYBE??? MAYBE??? It'd be so funny

That dice span for SO FUCKING LONG oh my god. The dice are FEELING IT today.

Fabian pushing Jace into the lava is maybe the funniest use of Brennan's own fucking encounter design against him. I love it.

18 D10???? EIGHTEEN??? INSANE.

"I served Rueben up a plate of redemption arc and he fucking cast a ninth level spell on it" is great.

"AHHH I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED A LITTLE BIT" beautiful final words for the duplicate

Ohhhh Jace is being HIVE-MINDED. He's just a minion. Damn.

WAIT. SO ONCE THE RAGESTARS ARE GONE, THEY COULD PROBABLY BE SAVED RIGHT??? Ratgrinders might get to go away, maybe?

Oh god if Kristen gets rage-starred they're seriously fucked,,, thank god it didn't happen.

MAZEY NOOOOOOOO.

"I mean I don't Hate it" NOT THE TIME FABIAN

They're already two people down [sobs]

OH MY GOD PORTER REALLY FUCKING HATES GORGUG HOLY SHIT. He's so fucking scary actually.

Oh god I'm so worried ANKARNA NOOOOOO

RIZ'S FUCKING PLAN IS INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Murph the GENIUS YOU ARE. The fact that it did ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DAMAGE is absurd.

"VERY GOOD ON PAPER BUT NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION" OUCH!

SHE'S NOT EVEN RAGE-STARRED??? SHE WAS DOING THIS WILLINGLY?? HOLY SHIT MOST COMPELLING VILLAIN EVER. SHE REALLY IS JUST THAT FULL OF HATE. #1 HATER. I LOVE IT.

Mary-Ann CHOOSING to take the damage is absurd. We stan a dedicated queen.

Oh god three people down is worrying. I'm sure they'll pull through.

ANOTHER CLUTCH SCATTER FROM ADAINE!

God, Brennan's homebrew spell coming back to bite him is SO funny.

GET FUCKED JACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!

ARTHUR AGUEFORT'S CONTINGENCY MEASURE IS SO FUNNY.

Killing KLCK fucking over Jace and Porter is incredibly funny. Turns out Rage does not make for Good Planning.

LOWEST INT BITCHES AS YOUR LEADERS IS SO FUNNY

"I really can't I tried" GOD jace is such a stupid fucking sorcerer I love him.

Jace failing to Bigby's Hand Adaine into the lava and then fighting with Porter is amazing. Peak. ANOTHER CLUTCH NAT 20 FOR GORGUG! The gym really is pulling things off for them.

"He just rolled a 4" in the most defeated voice ever is so fucking funny. This is what happens when half your villain party has shitty strength.

"eat this gizard and get the fuck up" God I love Brennan's random ass magic items. It's great.

"You might still be trapped in a Burning Elmville with a raging giant" So an average Tuesday in Solace?

Honoring the Cock and Getting a Nat 1- the Dimension 20 Way

Fig's tricky little Shatter is my favorite tactic in her toolbox. And her getting 40 damage of shatter is ABSURD, even if her rolling them one by one is nerve-wracking.

SIXTY-NINE FIRE DAMAGE :D

SO IF BUDDY COMES BACK HE JUST FUCKING DROPS STRAIGHT INTO THE LAVA??

BAKUR BABY!!!!!!! LET'S HOPE HE'S NOT EVIL!

He doesn't have his own mini so he's basically just That Guy

Bakur might choose to join either side so let's see :eyes eyes eyes:

GOD I love Fabian and his clutch rolls. BAKUR and ALLIES!

SQUEEEEEEEM!!! FUCK YEAH!! SQUEEM! AND HE BROUGHT THE CORTADOS. BALTHAZAR'S BACK!!!!! HOLY SHIT??? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE YOU!

YOU GOT YOUR HEALS! GET A CORTADO AND JOIN THE PARTY SQUEEEEM!

Mary-Anne rolling a nat 1 is so funny i'm losing it. Clutch ass cutting words. The Hangman is winning!

Fabian and Mazey are SO cute. They deserve the fucking world. ITS ALL LOVE NOW!!!!

The value of protective anger,,,, the strength of love and light and the desire to combat those who would hurt the ones you love,,, Brennan Lee Mulligan you are a genius

ANOTHER K2 BLIMEY NAT 20??? THE DICE ARE THE REAL HEROES OF THIS STORY. It's fucking. It's so fucking funny. I'm literally crying.

Zac in the DM's seat again is making me laugh so hard.

Brennan actually packing up behind them is so funny. He's really committed to the bit.

"She's about to become a normal person" this is actually tragic when you think about it. Luckily, K2 is in a comedy show, so it's going to be funny instead.

"This spell is MEANT to be comedic" yeah it's literally a fucking snowman.

OH MY GOD. CASSANDRA MADE K2 A REAL PERSON???? HOLY SHIT THIS IS SOME PINOCCHIO LEVEL BULLSHIT IM ECSTATIC. OR LIKE, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN???

"Unsleeping City K2???" I WANT THIS

K2 is now a human cleric and she's fucking real. Holy shit she's fucking real.

GOD THE MOMENT WITH CASSANDRA AND BAKUR IS SO FUCKING COOL.

BALTHAZAR GOT FUCKING DISINTEGRATED [sobs] GOODBYE SWEET MAN WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING. THE MOST CRINGEFAIL MAN EVER

Oh god the Bad Kids are fucking down again :sobs:

"We're just collecting Barbarians" I love that <3 Barbarians Only

Mazey is definitely an honorary bad kid <3 Epic crits and clutch heals for all!

Fabian and Gorgug have gone down SO MUCH. It's incredible how they keep fucking pulling themselves back up. They are truly living on the edge.

We're halfway through the episode and I am very excited and also a little nervous.

OH THANK GOD SANDRA LYNN'S FINE! :D It's also nice to see Lydia and Ragh! :D

I love how Fig immediately calls back to her mom to help. They're the family ever.

GOD Jawbone's full mini is so fucking cool.

BRENNAN YOU CAD WHERE'S AYDA???????

"All I have to do is be dead and I can roll anything" should be printed on a dice holder FOR SURE

THE FUCKING AGENT IS HERE??? IM LOSING IT

BAXTER IS FIGHTING PORTER??? OH MY GOD

Lydia's wheelchair sliding is actually so fun. I love Brennan taking into account wheelchair physics for his combat. It's always nice to see.

GORGUG HAS A FUCKING FLASHBANG?????? ONCE AGAIN GORGUG'S ABILITIES COME IN CLUTCH.

"is this Justice? Is this a New Dawn?" GOES SO FUCKING HARD???? ADAINE YOU ARE THE COOLEST

BAKUR BACK TO HIS HIGH ELF SELF!!!!

EVERYONE'S GETTING A DIVINE INTERVENTION????? HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT FABIAN DID IT???? FUCK THATS SO COOL. FABIAN, A PROTECTOR, ALONGSIDE ADAINE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS!

Mazey and Fabian are so sweet. I want them to be in love forever do you hear me???? YOU HEAR ME???

"All the ways you've protected people is what makes you cool" GOD MAZEY GETS IT. FABIAN HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE.

Ankarna, sitting in the bottomless pit; THAT BOY DESERVES TO BE WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. LET ME RISE UP!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH ANKARNA LIVES. SHE FUCKING SLAYS!!! SHE SLAYYYYYYYYYS

Jace getting fucking arrested is the funniest ending for a villain in this show. ITS NOT EVEN THE REAL JACE.

"I WAS HILDA HILDA THE WHOLE TIME!" EMILY THE COMEDIAN THAT YOU ARE!

God this battle was so cool it really did a lot for the Bad Kids as characters.

All of the scenes in the ether were SO GOOD. They really show how strong they've grown, and the strengths of their heart. Their desire to look ahead is built into them, and I love it.

"rebellion without a new dawn to look forward to is just cynical"

"where's the fucking cat" KRISTEN YOU'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY

SQUEEM AND BALTHAZAR HUNTING KALINA IS GREAT

"bring back everyone but Kipperlilly"

"No, just Mary-Ann"

The Bad Kids are great, Funniest people ever, 10/10

"Juicy God Gossip" is such a funny line. Another t-shirt I want.

GOD DAMN IT ARTHUR AGUEFORT WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW SHOWING UP

FORGIVEN, HE BROUGHT AYDA BACK, WE ARE WELL. God their reunion was perfect it was so sweet. And Adaine and Ayda also had a really good moment.

Arthur Aguefort is the single funniest character Brennan has ever written.

Kristen Applebees is going to be the president! HOLY SHIT!

YOLANDA AND LUCY ARE BACK!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!

RATGRINDERS REDEMPTION ARC!!! So they were ALL just possessed. This is a good ending.

Oisin and Ivy should hopefully have a terrible senior year :3

Mary-Ann is so funny and earnest and sweet and I seriously love her. I hope she has a wonderful senior year and nothing bad ever happens to her ever again. ENEMIES TO LOVERS GORGUG AND MARY-ANN WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD

Is Gorgug's type just barbarians who can kill him????

GOD all of them are so fucking funny.

Kristen as a Pantheon Type Cleric makes SO MUCH SENSE!!!

Riz switching to tea and embracing change is beautiful. He's so fucking strong. "whatever you choose to do, you're going to be good at it" I love his relationship with his mom so much.

Adaine's mom is being a little bastard in the Nightmare Forest? That's going to be fun to follow up on if they ever do.

"i'd take them to get you" made me SOB. They're THE SISTERS EVER.

"we know what its for, we don't have to talk about it, it wasn't great" IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. Realest teenager moment ever.

HIS MOM SHOWS UP??? CRYING LAUGHING

HOLY SHIT FABIAN'S GRANDAD IS BACK!!

FABIAN's MOM IS ACTUALLY PREGNANT [screaming] THATS SO FUNNY

HIS INFANT SIBLING IS LITERALLY THE NEWEST NEMESIS IM CRYING

"Do you ever talk to Jawbone about any of this?" Mazey's gonna learn her new boyfriend has NO CHILL.

FOUR GOD PANTHEON???? That's going to be SO FUN!!!

Tracker and her girlfriend broke up I'm losing it.

GERTIE DECLARED KRISTEN HER NEMESIS I'm SCREAMING thats so funny. I mean it was intensely funny. It is a bit fucked up she led Gertie on, but that's teenagers for you.

GORGUG AND FIG ARE SO SWEET I'M SOBBING. GORGUG'S GIFTS ARE ADORABLE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.

The Thistlesprings are the Most Adoring Parents Ever I love them so much. PROFESSOR THISTLESPRING ARC???? I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS.

"maybe next year i'll be the bad guy?" ARTHUR AGUEFORT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

AYDA AND FIG MOMENT. I LOVE HOW INTENSE AYDA IS. THE GIRLFRIENDS EVER.

Oh my god the Complicated Women Podcast I'm screaming. I love how Sandra Lynn talks about it.

Fig's going to be SUCH a good big sister. Hopefully Fig can help Fabian handle things.

GOD the Hunter's Mark from Sandra Lynn to make sure she can always find her daughter is so sweet. They're the cutest ever.

"Maybe she can just trust that they'll be friends outside of school" GOD I LOVE THAT. Fig is THE BARD EVER.

THE AUTOMATONS HUNTING FIG IS SO FUNNY.

Ayda connected the Bottomless Pit with Leviathin and I'm just sobbing. Her point about learning was so strong and brilliant I love it.

"it's hot tub time!" - GOD THATS SO FUNNY

OH MY GOD BAKARATH IS REAL???? AND KALINA???? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY. IS BAKARATH GOING TO BE THE FINAL BOSS OF A FUTURE SEASON???

That ending was amazing and I had such a good time. It's bittersweet, but I'm happy I was here. GO BAD KIDS!!

[maximillien]

anywho, THE REQUEST 🫶🫶

i don’t mind what ever format you like to do, but can i have a thing with alberu where he’s looking at the reader and goes “oh shit, i am so in love with this person” and after he comes to that realisation he just notices more little things about the reader until he’s like, “(name), for as long as i lived, and for how much i cherish this empire, you are my closest aide and has gone through the most with me. so, not as a request from your superior or as your royal highness, but as alberu, would you continue to cherish these moments with me? for i love you truly, (name)”

JUST. HIM. REALISING HIS LOVE AND SWEETLY PROFESS HIS LOVE I CANNOT PLS

Omg omg omg okay let's gooooooo

(LIGHT NSFW WARNING)

- let's start talking about how he'd fall in love with reader.

- another writer has touched on this, but I also think he'd go for an arranged marriage as they've written 'the benefits of an Arranged marriage can't be glossed over'

- so yeah, reader is either a noble or princess and all (transmigrated or not)

- I think he'd try to start off being friends with you

- before the wedding and marriage in itself he wants you both to get to know each other, like? You're spending your lives together?? Might as well see what you're both getting on each end

- so he'd try to make some time in his schedule (I'd love to see him throw his work on Cale- literally, throw his papers in his face and say 'IM GOING A DATE, DO THE WORK')

- most likely would have tea with you, have walks in the garden

- starts off asking basic questions like your favourite colour and food (yes ik ik ik idc, he's asking them, he wants to know)

- he might invite you to play chess with him (yes I hc he plays chess- ugh imagine playing chess with him. After he fell in love with you he'd let you win just to see you smile (unless you're a chess champion and you win without him letting you, then count him surprised and horny))

- bounces ideas and theories off of you, he wants to know how your brain works and your thought process

- at the very start when you're still acquaintances he'd probably ask some questions to test your boundaries and see where you stand (like to see if some subjects make you tick, what you're okay talking about and all)

- he wants to know who you are as a person, not as the noble/royal facade you've put up

- in exchange he'll do the same

- he won't let you know he's a dark elf yet tho, that's like very very intimate territory and much further down the line

- so he'd share his own ideas, theories and interests

- I think you'd end up being friends in the beginning

- then you get married (I don't think you'd spend the first night yet)

- and then you meet his fucking brother

- I think you'd be so flabbergasted meeting Cale that you'd show it too evidently on your face, and Alberu would test the waters. Then you'd answer in some way, half bashing Cale and that's it.

- he's elated

- you're now BEST FRIENDS

- tea times complaining about Cale and the work you BOTH have to take care of

- which he's ever so thankful for, because he also now has you to help and has a tiny bit more free time

- I think he'd fall in love after you discover he's affiliated to the dark elves

- like you don't know HES one. You just know he has connections with them

- one of his fake elf guards made themselves known in their real form and BOOM. You're in his office

- why are you in his office? Your husband has been overworking himself for the millionth time that month, so you know what? You're going to knock him out and drag his ass to bed. How will you do that? You snuck into the kitchen and stole a pan. Now you're tiptoeing into his office, busting the door open and- OH MY GOD IS THAT A DARK ELF?

- I gotta say, mistah dark elf bodyguard would probably try to knock you out, but you've been training your reflexes to knock your husband out.

- so guess what?

- mistah bodyguard ends up knocked out into the floor whilst steam comes off the pan

- Alberu is gobsmacked

- like his mouth is open and he is SHOCKED

- a tiny little part of him is like 'wow, they have brains AND brawn, ugh I wish that were me on the floo-'

- he waves the thoughts off though, and pries the pan from your hands before more lasting damage can occur

- I mean he was gobsmacked, youre over here having a whole ass nervous breakdown because what the FUCK is a dark elf, the elves that have gone into HIDING FOR CENTURIES??? Doing here??

- honestly considering taking his necklace off and telling you the truth

- before you look at him, dead in his eyes and go ' you're allies with them'

- so he's just gone quiet whilst you're over here, marvelling over how your husband SOMEHOW managed to BEFRIEND, and ALLY himself to THE dark elves

- he's kinda shocked that you're not idk, thinking of reporting his bodyguard (who si still knocked out onto the floor)

- he asks you why you're not reporting the bodyguard to his father (ugh.)

- you say that it's unfair what's happening to them. What, because they use dead mana they're dangerous now? Who the fuck came up with that logic?

- he swoons. Does not show, but he swoons.

- he started falling in love right there, he just didn't show it and I don't think he acknowledges it until later on

- so you know, you guys brings the bodyguard back to his room/headquarters and then you both walk back to your room

- you shared that you were gonna knock him out with the pan to bring him to bed (since he wondered why you had it)

- he's never been more jealous of his bodyguard in his life

- anyways y'all go to bed

- he definitely wants to ask you again, if you're okay with him being allied to the dark elves (not even knowing your sexy ass husband is one) but he abstains cuz you'll get suspicious otherwise

- he waits until you fall asleep and just watches you, with this soft look in his eyes, and his heart just squeezes and he knows

- he is not an idiot, he knows on the spot what he's feeling and that it's all for you

- probably has an 'Ah. I'm in love with them' realisation

- definitely makes more time in his schedule for you

- and tries courting you properly

- he's putting himself out there

- gets you flowers, presents, whatever you want.

- you want jewellery? He's called up the best jewellers in the empire, they're coming over soon. You want to have a look at new weapons for your weapon training? He's sneaking out with you in town to have a look at some. It's a date. (He's buying you skewers and trying out new foods too. Is watching you and only you the whole time. Definition of heart eyes.)

- he complimented you before he fell in love, but then his compliments like, tentupled?? Is that a word?? Autocorrect says it's not. (X10 basically)

- you 👏 are 👏 always 👏 getting 👏 complimented 👏

- in the morning when you wake up? Your hair looks marvellous, he loves the way the sun catches its reflections. When you come see him for a break? Gosh, those trousers/dress suit you so well. He should call another dresser to make some more for you. Having dinner? He won't say it, but he loves how you eat (yes, he loves how you eat. Idk what you use to eat, he loves how you enjoy your food and your content face.)

- literally, he loves everything about you

- it doesn't even matter what emotion you're feeling

- you're angry? Will try his best to help you (Horny activated if you get mad at some horrid noble). You're sad? He will always always be there for you and make time for you. Want a hug? His arms are already open and he's ushering you into his lap. Not a hugger but need a shoulder? Available for Any talk. He'll always be on your side.

- I don't see him confessing just yet

- he's in love, but he's been living in the palace so that's given him trust issues

- also he's a dark elf so that makes his trust issues go ⬆️

- you'd get curious about his necklace sooner rather than later.

- all the months you guys have been sleeping together he's never taken it off

- you've seen him go take a BATH with it

- (yes? You watch your husband like a hawk? And? He notices when you go to take a bath too?? He loves how you look when you're all warm and refreshed, ready for bed.)

- so yeah, subject would come up, and he'd share it's from his mom

- you tell him he can talk about it if he wants

- he does. He talks about his mom, how much he loves and misses her. How he knows she would've loved you so much and would've loved to meet you. How hard it was in the palace for them and how life was for him after

- you'd both be in a pretty private area and you'd have moved your hand to hold his (if ur ok with touch, if not, you're intently listening to him).

- at that point he says he wants to share something personal

- you say go for it

- he takes his necklace off

- *wink club transformation msuic*

- here is your sexy dark elf husband

- now. I gotta say. I think we all thirst for dark elf Alberu. I know for sure my first thought would be a horny one and I know reader would also have a thirsty thought

- probably let's it slip that you find him really HOT AND SEXY

- hand on mouth with gasp (not him ;;;)

- he did not expect that

- he expected either a freak out, rejection or acceptance

- not sudden horny

- gobsmacked 2.0

- recovers pretty quickly, he's definitely teasing you after but right now he just wants to make sure you're okay with this

- you're okay with him? Even like this?

- youre tutting at him at this point. What the fuck do you mean, this? Yeah I'm okay with you being sexy, man.

- no but seriously you say this changes nothing and he's still your Alberu (ahem ahem emphasis on YOUR, he blushes but you can't see due to his darker skin)

- gets up from his seat (y'all were sitting at a table) and rounds the table.

- takes your face in his hand and looks ta you with that look

- that look. When you're in love and you look at somebody like they're your world

- yeah, he's looking at you like that.

- he's leaning in closer and right RIGHT close to your lips he asks if you're okay with this (little breathy question, god you can feel him)

- you don't even wait

- just immediately take his face and kiss him

- he's brain fucked

- he's so happy, gives the kiss his all

- sits on the table and you climb on his lap and straddle him soon after

- you're both holding each others faces

- rly passionate honestly

- and then confession

- he confesses between kisses

- now you over here are absolutely breathless. Not breath left in these lungs. He's taken all your oxygen and he's confessing his undying love for you

- the moment you reciprocate hes grabbing your waist and leaning you slightly forward and kissing you even more fervently

- he's so happy

- (this definitely leads to hickeys, though he had to loosen your dress/shirt to give them, gosh you're both completely messed up by the end)

- I wouldn't be surprised if you guys had your first time right there and then

- If you don't want to, he'll immediately stop, he's absolutely fine not doing anything. He's still miss you up your neck and your face though. Very attached to you for the next few weeks

- if you do end up banging, you're doing it on the floor as the table is too uncomfortable

- takes very good care of you, goes slow and is very respectful (even if his control is slipping, like sweets, the moment he's in you? That control is an elephant on a thread)

- aftercare king

- runs you a bath, asks for some food to be cooked and water to be brought over

- will massage you if you want

- wether you have sex or not, you both fall asleep cuddling (unless you don't like that) and he's completely shoved his face into your neck

- he's in his dark elf form the whole time btw

Haha there it is

My keyboard is glitching so I'm stopping now

[chaserainbows]

Week 10

(it's the last competitive episode LET'S GOOOOOOO)

So to recap we're at top 4 right now and it's the last episode before the finale

Lucian got eliminated last episode after snatching Garreth's place in the competition so that leaves Sidney (2 wins, 2 bottoms), Lynn (3 wins, 1 bottom), Will (1 win, 1 bottom) and Shauntal (1 win, 0 bottoms)

After they recovered from the bee incident we're back to the mini challenge

You know what since there's 4 of them and 4 winners let's say that they're each doing a look based off one of the previous winners

Sidney's doing Kyosuke (similar punk vibes) Shauntal's doing Sada (because there's bones and she can easily gothify the look) Will's doing Dawn (psychic spooky vibes and also she's the winner from his previous season) and Lynn's doing Sanctus (as the ultimate act of spite against god)

Will wins the mini challenge because we all know that Will in a cosmic magical girl inspired look would fucking devour

The final challenge is the ball (because there's always a ball) and between this one and the makeover it's about time we had some fashion challenges in this season

Will easily does the best redeeming last challenge's bottom 2 placement and his previous runway flops while surprisingly Sidney and Shauntal only do alright despite being the runway legends of the season

The final look has to be made right there in the workroom so presumably they can dress well but aren't necessarily that good at sewing

Lynn continues to be in her easy breezy era look at her go

The placements are what you'd expect but this means that Will got his second win and finally beat the fashion victim allegations while Shauntal lands in the bottom for the first ever time

This also means that we have a rematch between Shauntal and Sidney the Elite 4s are FIGHTING

oh this is a good song

It's not necessarily either of their vibes but clock the villain of the season getting a song about personal improvement the Sidney narrative's coming full circle

I kinda wish that this was a Sidney vs Lynn rematch but alas the simulator did not give me that

Shauntal's doing pretty well but Sidney's clearly not trying very hard considering we've seen him do way better

It's one of two things he's either not feeling very motivated or he just really doesn't like the song

And with that Shauntal defeats another lipsync assassin and Sidney's the last elimination before the finale

The evil is DEFEATED

With Sidney's elimination the aura of conflict and maliciousness is gone and so Will gets a video message from Lucian and Aaron that makes everyone cry and have a group therapy session because the producers will get a TV moment one way or another

And with that our top 3 all end the season on good terms with each other that's nice

Shauntal's first ever bottom 2 placement actually completely blue shelled her and now she's in the worst position going into the finale while Will has the best average score and Lynn has the most wins but they're all extremely close so anyone could win depending on the finale performance

Next time we're wrapping everything up

[unbound-lust]

Cagematch with Sigurd 6

“FUCK I wish that was me!”

“LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!”

The cheers from his groupies almost drowned out the rest of the audience as Sigurd got her in position. Sasha spotted Saeko taking a camera off one of the crew, hoisting it on her shoulder and personally getting in close to the cage, dragging a table over, putting a pair of chairs on it, then standing on both cheers in her perilously high stripper heels, giving the audience an amazing view of her perfect ass in her thong-back bunny waitress outfit as she got an up close and personal shot of cottontail’s face as Sigurd carried her over to the bars.

“Come on rabbit.” Sigurd purred. “You can do better than that. Yell, scream, show me how much fight you’ve got in these strong legs~”

He threw her up in the air and caught her in a full nelson. Seconds later her shoulders hit the bars with her head in between them. On either side of her head he’d pushed one of her legs through, then he pushed, pinning her against the bars. Even if he let go, she’d drop, but there was NO WAY she could POSSIBLY pull her legs back through.

“Come on~”

She felt something smack her stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of her. It couldn’t be his arm, both his hands were-

Oh no.

“Beg.”

She felt something thicker than both her fists push against her pussy.

Oh well, too big-

And pushed.

And PUSHED.

And she felt herself start to *stretch* around it. Further, further, and then an inch of it was IN. 

Then two. 

Then fucking hell ow ow THREE, FOUR FUCK-

“Hey, hey! Let go of me dangit! You’ve won and you know it, take the winnings and go!” Lorrain squirmed in Sigurd’s grip, kicking at him as she tried to worm her way free. It wasn’t until they reached the bars that she started to truly panic. “Okay okay I’m begging! Please! I’ll do anything you ask! Just don’t stick that thing in me, I’ll totally die!”

“Please! Don’t do this! Not like this! I can’t possibly take it!” And down she went, thrashing and shouting as she felt herself start to stretch. “Nononono! Too big! TOO BIG! FUCK YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT NOW TAKE IT OUT IT’S TOO BIG FUCK-!”

Sasha made sure the cameras got all the action, not wanting a single thing to be missed. “Well listen to that! Normally Cottontail has a much cleaner mouth on her~ Still, can you blame her~? That thing is practically a weapon~ Let’s see how long she can last!”

[renaerys]

The Greens: “I’m gonna be your first and your last” and, because the Blues need some love, “We just went over the rules.”

48. “We just went over the rules.”

A Blues ask!! My crops are watered and my skin is cleared. I have other Greens prompts, so there will be more of them coming. I hope it's okay that I chose the Blues one!

Send me a prompt and some characters! Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we're getting creative here.

List of prompts

xxx

“Wait, okay, so is eye contact allowed?”

Bubbles popped a chewing gum bubble. “That’s allowed.”

“And is it one foot or two on the floor?”

“One. Look, are you really ready? We just went over the rules, but you seem nervous.”

Boomer shook his head. “No, I’m good! For real, let’s do this. I’m good to go.”

Todd slammed a bill on the table in between them. “Super, because I got money on the line here. Let’s gooooooo!”

“Wow, five whole dollars? I’m flattered,” Boomer said.

“Why? My money’s on Bubbles.”

“Mine too,” Buttercup said.

“Y’all are about to take a collective shit and eat it when Boomer wins this,” Butch said.

Blossom winced. “Jesus, Butch.”

“No, no, he’s right.” Brick put his hands on Boomer’s shoulders and leaned his weight on them. “Boomer, flatten her ass.”

Buttercup leaned close to Blossom’s ear. “Did you hear that, Blossom? Did you hear what that uncultured fool just said about our sister’s ass?”

Blossom clenched her fists. “Oh, I heard it.”

“Okay, enough! Can we just start please?” Bubbles had not signed up for a pissing contest between their siblings. She hadn’t even invited them. This was supposed to be a friendly match for fun, until Todd found out and turned it into some betting pool among their classmates and friends, who had all gathered in Todd’s basement to watch the competition.

“All bets are in! Last call!” Mike rattled a tin full of coins and a few bills from the high rollers.

Bubbles chewed her now flavorless gum. “Ready?”

“He was born ready,” Brick said, dead-ass serious.

Butch made a man noise somewhere in between a squawk and a roar.

“I’m ready when you are,” Boomer said.

Robin, who had agreed to act as referee, leaned over the table. “Okay, take your positions, brave combatants!”

Bubbles wrapped her hand around Boomer’s and rested her elbow on the table. On Robin’s countdown, she put all her Super strength behind her arm and pushed against Boomer’s, who pushed right back.

They were evenly matched in strength, but Bubbles had expected this. She smiled and turned on the charm. “Hey, Boomer.”

Boomer blinked. Sweat had begun to form on his forehead from the exertion. “Yeah?”

Bubbles gritted her teeth against his force. Her arm shook, but her eyes smiled. “You look really hot in that jacket.”

He flushed, and Brick slammed a hand on the table. “Hey, no flirting! Ref, do something about this.”

“Back off, Mother Theresa. It was just a compliment,” Buttercup said.

“The hell it was. I see you, Bubbles.”

“Don’t you dare address her directly! You’re interfering with her concentration,” Blossom said.

“All right, all right! No one talks anymore,” Robin said.

“I’m increasing my bet,” Todd said, dropping another dollar into Mike’s tin. “Bubbles is gonna murder him.”

It was harder without talking. Boomer couldn’t use his electricity, but his stamina was a little better than Bubbles’ on a good day. She could feel herself beginning to slip. Her palm was clammy where it clasped Boomer’s, and her elbow dug into the table hard enough to dent the steel.

Boomer held her gaze. He knew she was losing steam, and it only made him stronger. Around them, their siblings and friends loomed with death and destruction in their eyes, but Bubbles couldn’t worry about them when she had to worry about Boomer. She wasn’t as punch-hungry as Buttercup or as viper-tongued as Blossom, but she had her pride, and Boomer of all people was definitely not going to beat her.

He’d been her arch nemesis, her equal and opposite counter born to destroy her, and he’d failed rather embarrassingly when one kiss blew him up. A lot had changed since then—they were dating now, and their fights had transitioned more to the verbal spat variety over kicks and punches—but the competition between them still simmered under the surface. Boomer had never grown past his ultimate weakness, either.

And yeah, it was a teensy bit underhanded, but Bubbles had come here to conquer and Boomer was in her fucking way.

She looked Boomer directly in the eye, puckered her lips, and blew the slowest, sexiest chewing gum bubble she’d ever blown in her life. Like the sweet but predictable boy he was, Boomer shuddered and squeaked an impotent oh! and Bubbles went in for the kill.

She slammed his hand down on the table. The room exploded around them.

“She cheated,” Brick insisted.

“She didn’t speak, so she didn’t break the rule,” Blossom said.

“That was the most fuck me harder, daddy bubble I have ever seen. It’s a hundred percent cheating!”

“You can’t ascribe sexual intention to gum! That’s simply absurd.”

“Yeah, Brick, wow. Get some ice for that sore ass, loser,” Buttercup said.

Butch made another man-roar-growl and fell to his knees.

While Blossom and Brick continued to scream at each other over the sexual agency or lack thereof of chewing gum, Bubbles collected her winnings from Mike, high-fived Todd for being a true ally from the get-go, and dragged Boomer out of there. “Are you okay?”

Boomer sighed. “Yeah, just a little emasculated. But it’s no big deal, I’ll get over it.”

“That’s the spirit.” She kissed his cheek, and he caught her with an arm around her waist when she tried to pull back.

“I don’t mind losing if it’s to you, you know.”

“That’s cute. But you definitely did lose.”

He groaned. “Yeah, okay, you won. I’m toast. You’ve ruined gum for me forever. What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing. Just stop talking and kiss me.”

He shut up immediately.

xxx

If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!

[sapphire-innit]

MEXICAN L'MANBURG LETS GOOOOOOO

(rp)THEY GOT NO PROOF AND HE KNOWS IT

Quackity is the only MFer who can talk CIRCLES around Dream and I LOVE HIM FOR IT

AGAIN, AGAIN, "Why are you getting involved" I LOVE EVERY TIME QUACKITY POINTS THIS THE FUCK OUT

Dream resorting to threats, his only resort is violence, it always is and thats why QUACKITY IS GONNA TROUNNCE HIM

"I think you're forgetting that I designated this the holy land" - wow they pushed him this far aND THEN CALLED HIM ON IT LIKE FUCKING CHAMPS LETS GOOOOO

"SO YOUR A TYRANT THEN" - Karl

"So your breaking the rules AGAIN" - Quackity

Quackity is so on point in shutting down Sapnap's instinct towards violence, he's right they HAVE to win this with words they HAVE TOO. They have Dream backed into a corner as long as they aren't the ones to instigate violence on the Holy Land and its AMAZING

also hes EXACTLY RIGHT there is LITERALLY no proof other than meta gaming that they caused the explosion its SO PERFECT

"If you pull that fucking [rocket launcher] that is actual terrorism. We're playing a politics game, this is easy, this is easy, we have the upper hand here" Quackity KNOWS how much of an upper hand he has in this and I LOVE IT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

he's even talking about 'pushing narratives' hes so smart hes so smart I love him

...also I love the character arc Sapnap's on where he's realizing that Dream really really doesn't care about him. I saw it a little bit when he came to bully Tommy, trying to reclaim what it used to be like, to bond over one of Dream's interests really. But now, now Sapnap's stated it out loud and actually acknowledged it, and I love it

"raid MY castle, MY THRONE" omg

KARL POINTING OUT THAT DREAM THREATENED THE HOLY LANDS KING KING KING!!!!!!

lol Eret reaching out, they're too good for this, they don't deserve this happening to them lmao

"I literally don't care about the throne" gOD "its just a bunch of gold blocks" once again Dream not giving a SHIT about sentimentality and how this server RUNS

"KINDA SOUNDS LIKE A TYRANT TO ME" heyyy buddy, you know who likes to call his political enemies terrorists Dream?? Hey you know who likes to do that, huh buddy????? TYRANTS MOTHERFUCKER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

"WE PUT HUMAN LIFE AHEAD OF A FEW BLOCKS AND THAT MAKES US TERRORISTS???" KARL I'VE NEVER PAID ATTENTION TO YOU BEFORE BUT I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU OK, YOU, YOU GET IT

But seriously I think Karl is just catching on to HOW FUCKED UP DREAM AND HIS POWER IS, and is fully behind this, even knowing that Eret's not behind the explosion. Because the thing is, that DREAM doesn't know that (maybe not even cc!Dream knows that it's unclear!) so if Eret really HAD killed him, this is the kind of response he would have gotten. For getting KILLED, PEACEFULLY PROTESTING. and THATS REALLY FUCKED UP!!!!!

Also I would like to point out that they have made no indication that they're going to continue ''''griefing''', and yet Dreams goal is for them to "Stop". I think the reason Quackity had to do this, the reason Dream's so upset, is exactly because Dream does NOT like to be made to acknowledge the factions as actual Things until he has too (and even then he likes to declare war on them and say they aren't a country at the same time. Like a Tyrant.)

"In my mind Mexican L'Manburg doesn't exist" "So no one can form a country????"

"And I'll talk to Tubbo about it" FUCKER LIKE U HAVE THAT PULL ASS. what u gonna put the walls back up if Tubbo doesn't agree with you???? He really does see Tubbo as fully in his power now that Tommy has been exiled huh

"we just want to be recognized as a country" "THAT is the ONLY time you have ever stepped foot and EVER recognized us as something" BOOM THERE IT IS THIS IS WHY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN THIS WAY

Quackity trying to give up the Tyrant angle, because he knows its ineffective, Absolute King Karl not giving up on it because he BELIEVES (to the arguments detriment to be fair lmao)

Nothing is the operative word Dream, you like to ignore these things because as long as you don't acknowledge them, they're just another part of Dream SMP to you

"A country that is established has to have a fair and just and logical ruler" FIRST OFF, first time we're hearing these rules Dream thanks for laying that out to us soooooo clearly and definitely not just covering your ass bc your hypocrisy has been pointed out :) :) :)

SECOND, what bULLSHIT, to say that a ruler has to be "fair and just and logical", has to be up to YOUR STANDARDS basically to rule!!! its not enough for them to form and have people follow them, oh no, they have to be up to YOUR IDEALS. EPHEMERAL IDEALS that can CLEARLY be taken away, as seen by the L'Manburg walls being put up after a time of peace!

And lets talk about why you think Tubbo of all people is someone you consider up to your standards AFTER exiling Tommy. Because it wasn't TUBBO who changed, those standards have NOTHING in them about a cabinent or who lives in the country. NO, its because now Tubbo has proven to be CONTROLLABLE, and therefore a PUPPET GOVERNMENT

AND QUACKITY HAS ALWAYS ALLLLLWAYS SEEN THROUGH YOUR SHIT DREAM, NO WONDER YOU DON'T WANT TO GRANT HIM LEGITIMACY

lol its so much clearer because Tubbo has SO much chaos energy the HYPOCRISY

"Do you think through anything you do" the sheer AUDACITY, QUACKITY IS THE MOST CALCULATING PERSON ON THE SERVER ARE YOU KIDDING ME. It just goes to show HOW MUCH Quackity has this in hand and has Dream FOOLED, how much Dream DOES NOT UNDERSTAND QUACKITY AT *ALL*. He's had SO MUCH CONTROL over EVERY ONE in the confrontation, from Dream himself down to keeping his men in line, to keeping the conversation on track. ARE YOU TELLING ME SOMEONE WHO CAN CONTROL THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION with HIS WORDS ALONE is someone who DOESN'T THINK THINGS THROUGH????

Poor Eret, they truly are just a figurehead at this point, and nothing shows it more than the fact that they are only NOW joining the 'leaders' call. They were USED to get to Dream because Quackity completely understands that the crown is just a symbol and they really have NO say, despite the fact that it was really them who has been wronged in this case!!!! Dream isn't even PRETENDING he's upset on Eret's behalf!

Even Eret's body language, its looking up to Dream, its crouching, its supplication

Dream is really going off of either meta knowledge or PURE Assumption

the SMILE on Quackity's Face when he starts laying out terms he's COMPLETELY willing to do

"How about we start from a fresh slate, it's a bloodshed history, we'll change it" ayayyyyyy a dawn of a NEW DAYYY

"I'll Apologize to Eret but I won't Apologize to you" KING SHIT KING SHIT

WHAT A RUSH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!