#I WANT MY EVIL TOOTH ARMY!!

[stripedsunhat]

Watching Jason and the Argonauts. It lives in such a weird space in my brain.

I like old movies

I like Greek mythology

I like the myth of Jason

I like old sword and sandal movies (I to prefer the cheaper, cornier ones on the whole, but I like the quality ones too)

I will watch it pretty much every time I see it's on

I do not care about anything that's going on in it except for the scenes with claymation

[chaos-and-sparkles]

I yearn to talk about my Dracula!Holmes au, and the universe has seen fit to give me free will and internet access, so talk i shall.

Listen. Hear me out just hear me out.

We literally have Johnathan motherfucking Harker whose written POV we read Dracula from for like a solid half of the book, right. Well, no more, he's John Watson now babeyyy, a retired army man now gainfully employed as a lawyer who's off overseas to act as estate agent to the strange and eccentric client who has expressed interest in moving to foggy London... Count Holmes! [insert jazz hands]

Instead of being Evil(tm) and plotting to take over London or whatever, my guy is just Autistic. Also riddled with ADHD and in desperate need of some enrichment in he goddamn enclosure. He will also in fact be trans, because. Of course. Vampirism as a metaphor for queerness and the social ostracization that follows as a punishment and having inherently queer narratives intertwined in them etc etc... anyhow! Count Sherlock Holmes, vampire detective!!!

(I do also want him to be aroace, or aroacespec at least, but I'm willing to negotiate for the Johnlock and the Johnlock alone.)

Mina Harker here is of course the one and only Mary Morstan, although it is clearly a lavender marriage, because we aren't cowards in this household and so Mary gets to be gay with her Lucy equivalent here, just as god intended. I haven't decided who her Lucy equivalent will be yet but this au is still young (technically I've been going insane about it in my mind for like a month or two but whatever) and there's no reason we can't make up an OC for her Lucy.

John Watson, resident gay doctor lawyer, of course, is smart enough to realize the enigmatic Count Holmes' vampiric secret within like one adventure, but he sure is going to have a slow burn of realizing just how gay he is for said enigmatic Count Holmes. We, of course, get to witness this tooth rotting bullshit firsthand as we read his diary entries and some later letters to Mary.

And instead of being one long gothic horror narrative, it's just adventure of the week with your friendly neighborhood crime solving vampire, the various other mythical creatures who do said crimes, and Just Some Guy.

Just, every Sherlock Holmes adventure adapted into this au with other supernatural elements. The guy from the Red Headed League is a local villager being bamboozled by a leprechaun, the Silver Blaze thing is about a kelpie. Everyone including Sherlock was operating on the assumption that Irene Adler was a siren, but actually she was just a regular human, and instead of unlearning misogyny (bc I don't see trans vampire Sherlock living so long through changing times and society and being sexist), Sherlock has to learn not to underestimate the intelligence of humans.

Also, he's just really excited to have this new human, John, living in his castle. So curious, too, about humans, he has sequestered himself from them for such a long time and John seems like a very interesting one. He's probably the first friend Sherlock has had in a long time, too.

Also. Instead of being warded off or harmed by garlic, to Sherlock, garlic is just the vampire version of cocaine. He just gets high as fuck off garlic. Could live on the stuff. And the reason people think he's warded off by garlic is just because he was seen getting high off his ass, turning into a bat, and flying away in loop de loops upon consuming garlic one (1) time. And everyone thought it's his weakness. And he never bothered correcting them bc Why Would He. He's basically getting free cocaine left and right from villagers who are scared/wary of the supernatural Count Holmes and only go to him when there's no other option, and it's no bother to leave people he's not investigating alone.

I genuinely do think cocaine!garlic addicted Sherlock has so much comedic potential, it really is so beloved to me. Just imagine, if you will, an extremely put-upon John Watson caring for Batlock who has gotten high off his ass and refuses to stop flying into his own antique chandelier.

I was also thinking that it would be funny to have Mrs. Hudson and Mrs. Turner in place of Dracula's sexy vampire roommates or whatever those three were lmao (I couldn't think of a third character, sorry)

Also. Obviously. Van Helsing has got to be Moriarty, by virtue of opposition. I do think their whole deal has a lot of potential to be very funny and entertaining also. I am also considering it might be fun to have Lucy's other suitors be the Scotland Yarders, like Lestrade, Gregson and what have you, but that risks missing out on the very fun possible dynamic of "Sherlock being exasperated with the dumbass out of their depth Yarders he keeps helping" raised to like the hundredth degree so. I honestly would like people's thoughts on that.

Anyway so YES, Dracula au please and thank you. Maybe with endgame QPR Johnlock? Yes? Please? Queerplatonic husbands Johnlock is my shit.

In conclusion: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK <3

[janeway-lover]

The castle is such a striking sight on the horizon, with its many towers and distinctive black stone. It is visible for many miles, and is often used as a landmark for travelers, who spread tales about the evil king who rules over the land. (The Demon King is a common antagonist in children's bedtime stories, often eating up heroes who didn't clean their rooms or listen to their parents.)

The King was neither evil nor a demon, but rather a ruthless and brilliant tactician with a skilled army. His court was, admittedly, filled with conmen and schemers, but people can not be judged on their occupations alone. A loyal spy is rather hard to come by, after all, and Lucifer Moringstar was not going to get rid of them just because they engaged in some...unsavory business practices.

In addition to the members of his court, Lucifer had the most skilled generals in all the lands to lead his army. The kingdom of Hell had never lost a war, which only added to the rumors that the king had made a deal with a demon, or perhaps was one himself. And the most skilled fighters would be handpicked and knighted to guard his castle.

But arguably more important than his nobles and his knights were his children. Lucifer has several children (to the point that a common joke among the nobles was that a new one popped up every week) and all of them are adored. All of his children were brought up the same, their lives filled with love and knowledge. Visitors to the castle often remarked that there were smiling children around every corner.

And that was true. For the most part, at least.

But every so often, the Crown Princess, the heir to the throne of Hell, would look down from her window and sigh.

Oh, sure, she had everything she could ever want. But the Morningstar children were expressly forbidden from leaving the castle. They were all taught history and culture by the greatest teachers, but knew nothing truly of the people of their kingdom.

The closest she had ever gotten to leaving the castle was when she had bribed one of the knights to allow her to cross the drawbridge when her father had been away to the frontlines (Sir Aziraphale had a known sweet tooth, but was still a fierce and devoted fighter).

"Abby? Abby!"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"My apologies, I was...distracted. Could you repeat that, Dagon?"

"What could possibly be more important than the latest court gossip?" Dagon teased, leaning over to see what she could've been looking at. "Oh, I see. You're watching the knights."

"I was - observing their training! As heir, it will one day be my job to oversee them, and I must ensure that I understand what they are doing." Her argument is not helped by the fact that she's bright red.

"Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say, your highness. I totally believe you."

"They're allowed to leave, Dagon, of course I am jealous!"

"It doesn't hurt that they look good while they leave, does it?"

"You are allowed to speak such thoughts freely, my dear Lady Dagon. You're married to Sir Michael." She sighs, and looks out the window once again. "I shall have to marry some dunce of a prince and poison him in his sleep or such."

"Aww, but poison is such fun!"

"And that, my friend, is why you shall be my supplier should such an event arise."

"I'm flattered, truly." They look out the window as well, hoping to see who could have caught their friend's eye. There were four knights in the courtyard below the window; Gabriel, Michael, Uriel, and Samael. Currently, Michael and Uriel are sparring.

"Good." But her attention is not in her friend, but the knights below.

"Oh, for goodness sakes," Dagon mutters, before throwing open the window and leaning halfway out of it. "Come on, Michael, kick their ass!"

"Dagon!" The princess, as a rule, does not shriek. She gets pretty damn close to it, though. "You're going to fall out, stop that!"

"M'not gonna fall." But they allow her to drag them back inside (after blowing a kiss to their wife, of course).

"What they see in you, I'll never know," Abby says as she shuts the window and turns to Dagon. "Really, what were you thinking, shouting out a window?"

"I was thinking that that'd be a good way to get all the knights to look up here. And now they are."

"What?!" With a start, she turns back to the window, to see that all four knights are indeed looking up at the window. "Oh no."

"Oh no?" Dagon asks with a laugh as she steps away from the window. "Is this not what you wanted?"

"I can order you to be beheaded, you know."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Executed, on the grounds of embarrassing the princess."

Dagon just laughs.

[guessimate]

Today we are visiting the Imagos. The ROS for them was for one sim to bake the whole round. So I rolled for it and it would be the lady of the house cooking. She really should have a servant do it for her, but if the princess wants to cook, she may do as she pleases and eat whatever her delicate palate desires, I suppose. Before this era my sims ate mostly fish dishes, and the occasional hunted animal. So they must feel some sweet tooth cravings now.

Of course even a chill ROS like this one can have consequences, like a fire. Thankfully I use the Fight or Flight mod, so nothing bad happened and just the stove burnt down, but it could have gone way more tragically. I really don't need all the extra drama in my game though, unless I roll death.

~*~

While Baset was spending the round cooking, Sampsa was doing some woodworking, and later he moved on to playing chess.

I was thinking the most interesting part of the Imagos' round would be Sampsa wanting to raise an army of zombies, but nothing really came to fruition. I put him in the Paranormal career, however, he didn't want to get the skill needed for this career.

Sampsa wanted to hustle pool, which I thought was a bit odd since there was no billiards table at all in this town yet. I'm guessing he got this odd desire because he lost a game of chess to his wife, even though he had been cheating... His One True Hobby is Games, so it makes sense to take up the Logic skill. But I would really love for him to take to some hobbies useful for his career. It will happen some day, I'm sure.

~*~

The Imago family's patriarch Otso wanted to maximize any skill, so I made him work on his body because he was halfway through already. At the end of the round he decided he wouldn't mind becoming a wizard, and I'm so sorry to break it to him, but he's probably too old for that. I might turn his son into an evil warlock someday instead.

~*~

I think I've mentioned this before but Baset is the best sim I've bred in this entire neighbourhood so far. She's 8 Neat, 9 Active, Playful, and Nice. Her only con is being 0 Shy. So I'm really hoping her kids are going to turn out great too, even though her husband is a total grouch.

Their firstborn, Lalli, is a Sagittarius - 0 Sloppy (like grandpa Otso), 8 Outgoing (like dad), 9 Active, 9 Playful, and 9 Nice (all the rest like mom). His One True Hobby is Arts&Crafts. I think he looks more like his dad.

~*~

Baset really wanted to go on a date (not to cheat, just with her beloved husband). She's really attracted to Sampsa, even though he just shrugs at his lovely wife. They went on some dates and conceived a baby... after a couple of failed attempts (2 to-be-kids were not meant to be). But the next pregnancy was carried, it just took a while for Baset to conceive.

The birth went swimmingly. It's a baby boy named Ofilius. He's a blue-eyed blonde with skin 3.

~*~

I really want their dog Asena to have a puppy with Otis, the local gray wolf running around the hood and scaring everyone. I was starting to doubt that he would ever come to this lot, but he arrived at the very end of the round and I had to add 1 day to Asena's lifespan because she was a little too old, but she will have her puppies next round!

~*~

I dislike it when my game spawns additional service NPC-s it really doesn't need (I use anti redundancy), but this new masseuse gets a pass. He spawned with one of the elf faces, and I am obliged to marry him in.

[alexilulu]

Books I Read in 2024 #2: Exordia (Seth Dickinson, Tor Books, 2024)

Anna Sinjari, survivor of the Anfal massacres of the Kurdish people by the Iraqi army in the nineties, meets an alien in Central Park. This seeming coincidence spirals out into the destruction of most of human society, a disaster beyond the human imaginary and a race to be the one to discover the skeleton key to reality.

Seth Dickinson is my favorite writer, full stop.

I first knew him from Destiny; he wrote the background Grimoire lore for Destiny 1, and wrote the entirety of The Book of Sorrow, The bible for the eponymous Taken King of that expansion of Destiny. Destiny is probably the biggest touchstone for this novel; If you've enjoyed anything Destiny did in its lore, the extremely high concept of the Darkness as an ontological not-so-evil that rules the galaxy with an iron logic that says only strength survives, the people studying a robot realizing they're copies of themselves being in turn studied inside the robot they're studying (and further down, and further down, and so on), the Ahamkara offering poisoned wishes to all who accept them, oh wisher mine, then this is for you. This novel is him running to all the things he's not been able to come back to since Destiny went its own way (he was only ever a freelancer for Bungie studios, and ultimately where the game is now is a long distance from those foundations).

A huge component of what I love about Seth Dickinson is his nuance. IRL, Seth Dickinson was a doctoral candidate in social neuroscience where he studied racial bias in police shootings. His first novel series, Baru Cormorant, is as much about the idea of a character who passes all the requirements of The Evil Overlord List as it is about the ways that empire is an engine devoted to the grinding immiseration of the imperial periphery to bring in new income, blood and goods for the benefit of the core. That's literally the point of that series; Baru is as compromised by the promise of power as she is by the education she received, her loyalty to her home fighting tooth and nail to not drown in the sea of the ideology of masks.

He does a phenomenal job here by bringing that lens into the real world, circa 2013. The decision to set the story in the late Obama years is vital, to me. It's a time where many felt that call to the end of history once again, that after the highs of the reelection that the democratic party would remain ascendant, that the foreign wars we were still embroiled in would be safely managed by smart people making hard decisions that minimize casualties and produce maximum benefit to the world.

After all, who still speaks of the people who died in airstrikes under Obama?

While the novel is a broad one, utilizing many perspectives across its reading time, Anna Sinjari is a phenomenal protagonist. Funny, a love of horrid not-puns that work just enough to make you wince, with a core of something is wrong with her that cannot be understated. She's interesting in the way I want a point of view character to be.

Honestly, all of them are. There's 6-ish main perspectives across the story, and each of them is bringing something to the table. Lightning-quick to the moral stance Eric, compromised and compromising Clayton, good-to-a-fault Catholic Chaya, brilliantly strange Aixue, and the singularly passionate Davoud. Each of them has a thread moving through it all, rendered in exacting detail. Each of them feels like they're in another novel. Aixue and Chaya channel Michael Crichton, Eric and Clayton a clashing pair straight out of the less-fraught Tom Clancy novels. The novel feels like it's taken 30 years of technothrillers and put them in a black hole, letting the brilliant flame that issues out of its polar jet burn a new story into the canon.

And coming with that brilliance is a care and thoughtfulness I scarcely see elsewhere. Seth Dickinson's protagonists are compromised people to a fault (and aren't we all?), the types who have something that has driven them far from who they thought they were and had to reckon with the reality their life now occupies. And all around it is a beautifully sad world, the world that was inevitable from where they started but couldn't be seen coming until it ran them over. The world itself feels a sort of melancholy of materialism, the world our choices wrought, despite our best efforts. And yet, good things do persist. The Kurdish people survived Anfal, after all.

I really do feel good about this one, in the end. It's propulsive in the way that you'd want a story like this to be, assembling the pieces of the enigmatic alien artifact that lies at its center like a clean room scaffold around it, letting you think things will move one way then snapping you to the side again. My only sincere criticism of it (and it's a small one) is that it's the first story in something that will likely run to a beautiful length. I had hoped for a one and done story that produces something beautiful in the end, but I just find myself wanting more now. I wouldn't ever call it popcorn reading, but i do wish I had another bowl.

[intothetlkverse]

Decided to challenge myself by drawing every single TLK character out there, up until this point in time, and post it here. You can see the finished project on my main account, though I figured to post it on my tumblr just show I could proudly show off my work and a few of my head canons.

This here are all the leopards across TLG.

First off we have our main antagonists of S3, the leopards of Makucha's army, featuring, none other than,  Makucha(claws), Jiona(evening), and Fahari(proud). Makucha and Jiona are brothers while Fahari is Jiona's boyfriend.

Next are Badili(change) and his rival/cousin here, Mapigano(fighting). Strangely kind and submissive for a leopard, Badili is often outcasted from his leopards due to his more docile nature, however once he gains more confidence in himself and athletic abilities, he soon learns how to defend his territory. He later becomes a bit of a friend to the Lion Guard, often seeing them when they return to the Backlands in order to forge stronger alliances between Queen Dhahabu and the Night Pride. He even becomes a bit of a messenger for the golden zebra, and ironically becomes close friends with a family of galagoes which moves into his tree.

Mapigano is Badili's cousin. Not as athletic or confident in himself, as well as very mean and lazy, he took advantage of his cousin's kindness at first when the leopard allowed him to stay with him, then bullied him into losing confidence and kicking him out of his tree. Very mean, he is also cowardly and lazy, not wanting to stand up to Badili once he gets his mojo back, and his cousin makes it clear that Mapigano has not only exhausted his stay, but his goodwill too.

Next, appearing in "The Golden Zebra" is the members of Makucha's leap: 'Swat'/Shaya(strike-Yoruba), 'Underbite'/Kuuma(bite), and 'Overbite'/Jino(tooth). All three are siblings with one another and Makucha/Jiona's cousins. Naturally native the area where they first appear, the three were living peacefully in their rocky territory when their cousin Makucha appeared, convincing them to stop off the water from coming to the watering hole, thus leading to the dehydration and easy pickings of local prey animals. They agreed and assisted, up until the point they got their tails kicked by the Guard and Dhahabu, resulting in them agreeing to not mess with the local zebra herd and to ban Makucha from ever coming to them for help.

Swat/Shaya is the eldest of the three and the most cunning and fierce of her siblings. She is also the most confident in her hunting abilities, going for Beshte despite his size and actually managing to scratch him(in my verse), though she at least knows when to retreat. She also is like the Shenzi of her siblings, usually making the decisions and speaking for them. Kuuma(left) and Jino(right) are her younger brothers, identified by their stunning jaws and teeth. Kuuma is lankier and usually relies on more speedier attacks like Jino relies on more strength-based, while Shaya is the stealthiest. Jino is rather smart and often the mediator and strategist for his brother and sister, while Kuuma is the more unkempt and often more immature and erratic, usually going in headfirst without a plan. The three remain in the Backlands, with Shaya eventually leaving and starting a relationship with Badili.

Lastly for our TLG leopards are two non-leopards that have been modified to be actual leopards. Chuulun in my verse is a sand cat, since there's no Himalayan/Asian influences and a sand cat in the desert has about the same ghostly/mysterious effects camouflaged against the sand as a snow leopard is against snow. However, just for the fun of it, I tried making her a true leopard, a strawberry variant, though exaggerated here. I really do like her character and her design, I'm just not a fan of the Asian aspects, hence why she is a species more at home with Africa, though this here was just a design practice. I really do like her more 'evil-eye' spots and 'devil horn' face mark, so I tried to keep those here. I imagine if she was still a leopard in my verse, she'd attack primarily during dawn/dusk/twilight, since her coat would best blend into the background then. Also if she was a leopard, her name would probably be changed to Chui(leopard), though I imagine that's a small pet name Makucha and crew call her sand cat form in my verse.

Yun-Mibu was a bit hard to do, given that I initially mistook him as a girl and I wanted to keep his more brownish pelt color and markings without just making him a more golden clouded leopard, though in the end I think I did exactly that regardless. I suppose the fact that the leopards in TLG have a simplified design which allows me to keep most of his design without sacrificing too much. In my verse, he is a leopard that does help save Kion from falling, albeit without use of a non-existent prehensile tail, and is also a guard/guide for the Tree of Life, living and serving outside of it and being on lookout for any newcomers/enemies seeking to find the Tree, something that comes in handy when Jasiri and Janja come trying to look for the Guard, which he then leads them to Azaad. He's one of several guides, each at a different Moja Kwa Moja Stone. Friendly and calm, though a bit skittish, he and Kion get to know each other better after Kion gets better and later becomes king. As for his name in my 'verse, I found the name Yamubu(mosquito) works pretty well.

[thatone16216]

So I was watching YouTube today and I saw a video that was asking why Tinkerbell became "evil" between the timeline of Pixie Hollow and Peter Pan. It got me thinking, and I'm sure I'm not the first person to think something of this, but here are my personal thoughts. And buckle up, bc it's a doozy.

So before we start, there are a few things that I considered in this theory. We know that Tinkerbell and Pixie Hollow are a timeline from before Tinkerbell meets Peter Pan, as seen in the Pirate Fairy Movie with the young Captain Hook. There is also the theory that Captain Hook was an escaped Lost Boy that Peter Pan failed to kill as he grew up.

Now, picture Pixie Hollow. There are meadows, flowers, and tons of color everywhere, and the forest, while somewhat thick, is not overgrown, wild, or dangerous. There's plenty of food, and there are many animals and a variety of wildlife. A peaceful place.

What does Pixie Hollow run on? Pixie Dust. It is literally the life force of the fairies. Without it, they will die.

Enter, Peter Pan. Now, Google won't give me a straight answer, but Peter Pan is essentially a sprite of sorts. He makes his way to Neverland, and essentially sets up a small camp somewhere in the woods. Far away from anyone. He gets lonely, starts his kidnapping of children, and so on and so forth.

Eventually, his friends, the children, start to inevitably grow up. They grow up and leave the camp and Peter Pan has to find new children to befriend. He becomes bitter, and evil, and eventually just starts killing the children when they get to be too old.

Now, at this point, the entirety of Neverland depends on Pixie Hollow. The fairies essentially run the island because of the fact that they provide all of the food and water and such. They grow the herbs the Natives use, they help keep mermaid cove as beautiful above water as below. Stuff like that. It's common knowledge that Neverland is run by the fairies and their Pixie Dust.

In his little camp, Peter Pan begins to yearn for more than just having all these children following him that he has to kill every couple of years, and he begins to hatch a plot. He who controls the Pixie Dust, controls Neverland. He assembles his lost boys into an army to take over Neverland and steal the dust, while essentially wiping out the fairies.

The oldest Lost Boy, a soon to be teenager named James, says "no, this is wrong". Peter Pan was already planning to kill James anyway, but gives him an ultimatum. You help me, you live. You don't, you die.

James refuses both and manages to make it away from Peter Pan, encountering a pirate ship and joining their crew, becoming their captain, blah blah blah.

James also begins to plot the theft of the Pixie Dust, but he doesn't want to use it to take over the Mainland like he says in the Pirate Fairy movie. No, that is a lie so his crew continues to follow him. He wants to go home.

Ultimately, the plot fails, and he becomes Smee's captain, where he vows revenge on Peter, whilst trying to go home.

But while James is being Pirate Captain, Peter kidnapped more lost boys, and now has slowly expanded into Neverland. He manages to take over Pixie Hollow, and unfortunately, he kills almost all of the fairies. Those who weren't killed were enslaved, though they eventually died until it was just Tinkerbell left.

Tinkerbell fought tooth and nail against Peter, and continued to do so well after she was the only fairy left. She was protecting the Pixie Dust and all that the fairies stood for. Peter Pan appreciated her "feistiness" and made her his second in command. Realizing she had no other choice, she reluctantly agrees in hopes that she may be able to stop him.

As his second in command, she sees the murders he commits against the Lost Boys. She watches as he slowly destroys Neverland, turning it from the beautiful paradise it was to an overgrown jungle. She watched as he took the beautiful tree, the center of Pixie Hollow, and reduced it to a dead, knotted tree (images below). Streams dried up, food stopped growing, and wildlife died out. The Natives had to become Nomads to survive.

When Tinkerbell meets Wendy, at this point she has watched Peter Pan kill multiple children, so tries her hardest to save them all. She wasn't jealous, she was protecting Wendy. Wendy was at the age, 13, where Peter Pan tended to kill off the Lost Boys for growing up. She knew Wendy and her brothers were in danger. She was trying to save them before it was too late. She did this under the guise of jealousy so no that Peter wouldn't get suspicious.

When she leads Captain Hook to the hideout, it's not to hurt the Lost Boys, but to save them. Everything she did was to save Neverland, and I feel that she may have felt that she that she failed her friends and essentially family by not being able to stop the tyrant, Peter Pan.

She put a lot of weight and regret on her shoulders, and I just built an entire conspiracy theory around that.

This is the video that planted the seeds

[maxwell-grant]

Who's your favorite Batman villain?

The Penguin. Was gonna put off this ask for a bit but I got surprised today with an incredible rendition of him, so now the dastardly bumbershoot waddled and squawked his way into my thoughts again and I gotta talk about him.

Penguin's not just my favorite Batman villain, he's my favorite DC character and comic book supervillain, the main reason I even want to write a Batman story someday.

I love the imagery that surrounds him, the trick umbrellas and the birds he so lovely dotes after and the WAKs and the Iceberg Lounge, which has become maligned in recent years as a sign of his downfall, but I very much appreciate as a concept in general still. I love a lot of the performances and actors who've taken him over the years. Burgess Meredith and Danny DeVito are some of my favorite performers of all time, Paul Williams has a wonderful voice and starred in my favorite film of all time. Tom Kenny, David Ogden Stiers, Robin Lord Taylor, Penguin's just had such great, terrific performances and adaptations. Batman Returns is my favorite Batman film by far and it was what got me to start paying more attention to Oswald.

I love the roles he can play in any given Batman story and how he's managed to endure all of his falls from grace by becoming an indispensable part of Batman's worldbuilding. I love his varied dynamics with Batman and Riddler and Catwoman and Gordon and his henchmen and those who get close to him. I love his style and the way he conducts himself when he's allowed to be more than just a generic mob boss. Penguin's design has, by simply staying unchanged over the decades, gone from "common rich person wear draped over a funny cartoon gangster" to "he is so out of touch and desperate for respectability that he dresses like an 1930s capitalist caricature, like a little kid's idea of what a rich and respectable man looks like, and Penguin's still stuck in that mindset". I love how absurd and plausible he is.

I like that Penguin can very easily fit just about any kind of Batman story, from the campy supervillain plots to the gritty urban crime ones. You can tell stories about Penguin falling in love, pretending to be legit because he doesn't want his aunt to learn he's a criminal, and opening up a comedy act with a talking penguin, or stories about Penguin terrorizing the city with giant robots and guided missiles and driving people to suicide. I like that he's a character who both relishes in his lifestyles of supervillain and crimelord alike, and yet is perpetually restless because the minute he acquires what he wants, he immediately starts wanting something else. He could have Batman and the Batfamily and all other supervillains wiped out and have Gotham in his pocket and maybe even become President of the United States, and he'd still want more. Because Oswald is nothing but wants, the wants of a traumatized manchild in a funny costume throwing money and toys and brute force and tantrums at the world until it makes sense, which only makes him far too fitting as a Batman villain.

Everyone forgets that Penguin was canonically the first villain to ever successfully escape Batman at the end of a story, completely bypassing the usual "villain swears revenge behind bars" ending to instead escape scot-free, and went on to establish himself as one of his biggest, most inventive and most cunning villains, second only, if not equal, to Joker. I love that he's ruthless and inventive and classy and cunning and brutal and how his main trick is using the fact that everyone underestimates the short fat man to his advantage. He's taken traits that got many of us in real life relentlessly tormented for them, and he uses them to pull the wool over those who think they are better than him.

It'ss a trick that works because even in real life people can't stop looking at this weird and silly little man and think "that guy's too silly for a Batman villain, he's not a murder clown or musclebound monster, what's he gonna do" and, yeah, that's the point, that's been the point from day one, he doesn't look scary or intimidating or even that evil, and he's the guy who pulls the rug under supergenius fighting machine Batman and becomes the top crimelord of Gotham City, a city ruled by terrors and manias and monsters infinitely bigger and scarier and stronger than he is, and he STILL made it to the top and he STILL maintains it, time and time again even when newer and flashier and scarier villains come and go. Batman is, at it's core, a fundamentally absurd character, and Penguin acts as a reminder of that. Because the minute we accept a man can terraform himself with training and money into a living legend on the level of gods, there's no reason why a tiny fat man with similar drive and resources can't likewise throw his weight with monsters and warriors far above his station.

Despite how ridiculously often he's disrespected by writers and fans alike, how far he's fallen off his former position in Batman's Rogues Gallery, and how often he's used as just a punching bag for assorted Bat-people, Penguin never goes away. He's the biggest survivor of all of Batman's villains, more so than the genuinely immortal ones, because he's the cockroach that won't go away no matter how many times you flush it.

Because once you get past the piles of money and the lounge fortresses and the armies of goons and the piles of cartoony gadget toys not too dissimilar from Batman's own, what the Penguin has is brains, and spite and hatred on a scale no other Batman villain has. He hates Batman, because Batman is nothing but yet another bully who thinks he can push Oswald around just because he's bigger and stronger. He hates the lower class for it's unsophisticated brutes and boors that made his childhood hell. He hates the upper class that's rejected and also tormented him since infancy, that he desperately spent so long trying to be a part of. He hates the monsters and supervillains he works with and has to associate with to stay alive. He hates the city that he fights to rule over tooth and nail.

And although he may never admit it, he hates himself, because he'a short paunchy man with a beakish nose who's brutal and immoral not just because those are the cards life dealt him, but because he likes what it affords him too much to give it away. Because he's never going to have the love and acceptance he desperately craves, he will never be able to accept it or keep it. Because he can never fully be a gentleman, or a monster, but instead a sad mix who belongs in neither of their worlds. Because at the end, he doesn't look like anyone else. He looks like one of him.

And still, I like Penguin because he's a Gentleman Villain. The one Gentleman Villain of Batman's rogues gallery, even if that's faded from a lot of his recent appearences that pushed the crimelord aspects to the forefront. He dresses like a gentleman thief, he's canonically a huge A.J Raffles fan, he's one of the most cunning brains of Gotham, he's got the money, resources, and adventurous spirit. Problem is, he's The Penguin. And suddenly, all that he has becomes overblown, outlandish, theatrical, and out of touch purely because it's him trying to do all those things. He's a gentleman adventurer gone rogue, the Count Fosco of the DCU, and that only makes it amusing, even endearing, when Penguin does engage in the swashbuckling antics he's so fond of.

When all his plans go to hell and so he starts fencing Batman, or when he commands henchmen with superflous fancy language, or even when Oswald gives the whole "hero" thing a shot and we see he's actually not bad at it, maybe he actually could have been one if it wasn't for the bile drowning his heart and the hellscape that warped innocent young Cobblepot into Gotham's Penguin, a name that immediately denotes something silly and ridiculous, and he carries it with pride, because he will make you respect that name.

And that's just a couple of reasons. I really, really love this character to the point of obsession and the main reason why I ever wanted to write stories for DC was to get to write Penguin and at least try to do the character a little more justice. But if nothing else, Penguin endures, regardless of what happens to him, in and out of universe. If nothing else, that's a very admirable quality in a supervillain. Oswald is the best.

[disneyanddisneyships]

Chapter 61! @gyubby99

"Jack! Elsa!" Tooth shouted as she flew up to greet the couple. "What happened to elsa?" Bunny asked. "Sandy told me to call you all here," North stated. "I think I know why," Elsa muttered, her eyes still blown wide. The group looked at her. "Okay but can we maybe get her a blanket and some hot chocolate first? Put some mint in it? Please?" Jack asked as he wrapped his arm around Elsa.

"So tell us what you saw, elsa," North began as the Guardians all sat down around Elsa who now had mint hot chocolate and a comfort blanket around her. "It... it was just a bunch of evil laughs.. first was pitch.. then two people I didn't recognize and.. and then Hans... and then it was like they erased Jack from my life.. and my parents were alive.. and hans and I were.. betrothed....." elsa trailed off. "What?" Jack asked. "The throne.. that's what he always wanted... but then it was dark again... and Mor'du... my friend Merida spoke about it all the time... he was a demon in the form of a bear... he lunged at me and then I woke up," Elsa finished. "Is that all?" North asked. "For the noises and imagery yes.. but the feeling I had... I thought I had gotten rid of that feeling long ago..  the feeling of guilt... dread.. fear.... pitch is coming back.. this time with an army," Elsa explained. "The ancient books have always stated that in the future, we may need a new generation of Guardians...." North began. "New generation?" Tooth asked. "Like.. replacements?" She wondered. "No no we'd still have our jobs... but the new generation would be active warriors when danger came," North explained. "Warriors..." elsa muttered. Her eyes widened again as the moon began glowing. "New guardians," Bunny muttered. This time, instead of of silence that came with the crystal, there was a voice. The moon spoke as he listed the new guardians. "He talks?" Jack asked, a bit betrayed. "The first new guardian. Jack frost. Guardian of fun." The moon spoke. Jack's eyes widened. "The second new guardian. The snow queen, Elsa of Arendelle. Guardian of Sacrifice." Elsa gasped, and Jack looked at her. "The third New guardian. Queen Anna of Arendelle. Guardian of love," Elsas eyes widened. "Anna?" She asked, her breathing picking up. "The fourth New guardian. Princess Merida of Dunbroch. Guardian of bravery," "How many are there?" Bunny asked. "The fifth New guardian. Princess Rapunzel of Corona. Guardian of life," Elsa gasped. "Rapunzel?" Elsa asked as she hugged herself. "And finally. The sixth New guardian. Chief Hiccup Haddock III. Guardian of trust," "Hiccup?!" Elsa exclaimed. "Almost all of these people are dead! They've made their peace with the world and you're just gonna bring them back into it forever?!" Elsa shouted. The moon ignored her as it faded back. "ANSWER ME!" Elsa yelled. Jack ran to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey hey hey. Breathe in. Breathe out," Jack stated in a calm tone. "Why can't we just be happy Jack? I just want to marry you, settle down have a few kids..." elsa ranted. Jack pulled her in for a hug, cradling her head. "You knew all those people?" Tooth asked. Elsa nodded as she and Jack pulled away. "They were all my friends... one more battle to be fought I guess..." elsa stated. "We must find them," North muttered. "If man in moon chose them, then they are all still here, alive," he continued. "I can get ahold of Rapunzel. I dont know where Anna would be though-" Elsa stopped. "Arendelle," she muttered before looking at Jack. "Are you sure?" Jack asked. "Where else would she be? Last I checked, the castle's ruins were still there," Elsa stated. "North. Can you teleport us to Arendelle?" Jack asked. "Of course I can," North replied with a smile.

[endofthelinegang]

𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐥𝐨𝐤𝐢)

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ loki x fem! reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ headcanons about dad loki and his children

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ cursing, fluff

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ i came up with this on the fly, i had one in mind and it spiraled into so many more

join the gang!

- p- i imagine loki only wanting like one or two kids but then is like "i could have a little army of people" and has like 5-6 kids. every so often he's just like "why? why did i do this? the description of little army is just a bit to accurate for my liking." whilst they are literally playing the floor is lava and wrestling each other and throwing pillows everywhere.

- these little fuckers are evil to both of you, mischievous behavior is in the blood. for example if one of them loses a tooth they make a plan. one of them will run into whatever room either of you or both of you are in and act all panicked saying "their mouth is bleeding!" which obviously gets everyone up. there is blood whichever parent is looking for an injury that the kid that lost the tooth is like "i lost my tooth!" they will just sit there laughing.

- love to scare other people in public, like a bunch of wednesday adams walking around. not a fan of other people anyway but find it so much funnier to just be little shits. i imagine one kid being social and the others being like "absolutely fucking not you sticky beasts."

- speaking of these kids are so clean, like never having to fight them to take a bath or shower. cannot stand to be covered in anything that isn't nice clean water. unless they're pulling a prank and making a huge mess absolutely everywhere.

- loki helping them pull pranks on each other. neither of them realize that their father is on both sides of the huge mess. you don't either. but then when the cat comes out of the bag he's just like "i don't pick favorites"

- these monsters will let you put them to bed and act all tired. but the moment you and loki go to lay down and sleep or do other things (yknow wink wink) the door is slammed open and every last one of them is in bed going "i'm not tired." and will NOT go away.

- morning children. morning children. will not go to bed early but will wake up at like seven o'clock. but don't think they'll wake you up they will sneak out of the bed and make it look like they did something bad. so then the two of you panic and run into the living space and they're all reading or coloring calmly.

- if loki picks up and carries one child all of the other ones will climb on him like a tree. cannot walk without them attached to him. their number one excuse is "this is your fault for wearing green."

- normal game night?? who said that was a thing?? you could be playing freaking candyland and there will be alliances, undercover take downs, and bets going down all over the place. it's absolute chaos. if loki looses it's like bully fest, will not live it down for at least a week unless there's a redemption round.

- fixing his daughters hair, he is so good at braiding and brushing their hair. will literally be watching a movie (family movie night) and have one of his little girls his lap not realizing he's even braiding her hair.

- play nights, and by that i mean literally taking a book that's scripted out as a play and giving everyone characters. making little props out of stuff around the room.

- loki singing them lullabies when they don't feel good or are having nightmares that they don't think they can go to bed afterwards.

- playing music together jokingly and seriously. usually seriousness turns into absolute chaos. but yes on the instrument closet that is the only truly organized closet because who wants a fucking saxophone landing on their head.

[freetheshit-outofyou]

Now, I don't advocate folks taking justice into their own hands....

In the Army I learned and used a phrase, "Do what your career can handle." That also applies to justice applied by those who are willing to do such thing in the name of righteousness.

Back in my early days, when I wanted to be a Priest I looked at the King James Version of Exodus 21:23-25 KJV as something to be shunned. "And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."

I looked at Leviticus 24:19 - 24:21 in the same slanted light.

"And if a man cause a blemish in his neighbour; as he hath done, so shall it be done to him;

Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again.

And he that killeth a beast, he shall restore it: and he that killeth a man, he shall be put to death."

Both of those were in a "court" setting and as such controlled, not leveed by an individuals hands for the sake of righting a wrong. 

I followed the more pacifistic path when Jesus said in Matthew 5:38-42;

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: but I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away."

Then I joined the Army, went to war, saw the world outside my comfort bubble in the U.S. and my eyes were opened to a world the Bible hid.

I saw how people in the worst of life were often forced to walk the path of the righteous through some of the most un-righteous means. Men who would rape and rob because no one would stop them. Criminal enterprises feeding off those who were just trying to survive.

And I saw people stand up and exact justice for justice reasons. They did not ring their hands over what they were forced to do, no, they rung their hands over letting it happen so long without standing up and stopping it. Boys and Girls, we have moved well past the hand ringing part in our society. We have a crime issue because those that think they know better have emboldened criminals with get out of jail free cards and slap on the wrists that let them continue to victimize the population over and over again. At this point the pro-criminal justice system is just a state sanctioned gang that attacks the population as a whole and the state is ok with it. The only way this gets turned around is for folks to stand up to criminals and do what those elected orifices' refuse to do to ensure public safety at all levels. IMO

[lokisprettygirl]

Chapter 26 is...

It has it all, from closeness and cuteness of Loki and y/n🥰 to the first necessary revenge😈🦴👊🏻...yessss and I was like

Loki and y/n really can't live without each other and they have the understandable need to be together all the time and it's so adorable. I hope this comes true for them soon🥺💖

'You'll be sick off me baby' noooooo we will never be sick of our Loki 😭🥺but I get his reasons why he thinks like this.

His scars in his heart are deep and the healing process just started, and so it's for y/n too. The reassurance Loki gave her is so important...in her world there are only those abusive, disgusting and cruel people and she needs Loki to show her that there are also good things and good people in this world...like the the people who helped him to get on his feet again. It's a learning process for her...but she has the best teacher 😉🥰

Daddy needs to protect his Baby. NOBODY will ever touch his baby again 🤬💀, she is his and his alone . Why is protective and avenging Loki sooo HOT🌶🥵 ? I have BMUBMD vibes here (think I have to re-read it...in blood drenched Loki...🥵���️‍🔥🤣). And he did it, yessss I love what he did to Bucky, he got what he deserved. I'm empathic like y/n but...that piece of shit Bucky would never have stopped his evil actions so...I 'm more like an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth...and never mess with a Loki in love. 😈💀👊🏻😈

I could literally hear it through my phone when Bucky's bones cracked and it made me shiver...you Queen of writing you.💖❤️‍🔥🦴

Loki will always protect and defend his baby, he has an enormous protective instinct and he loves her so much...thinking about it makes me always so emotional.🥺🤗🥰

My presumption was right, Steve let Bucky down in the moment when he became useless for him. Steve is a narcissist, only money and fame is on his mind. I still have my theories about Steve and I'm curious what will happen next and if I'm right...and the Osbornes 🤔.. ?(I hope I remember the name right 🤪)

We don't know her yet but I already like Loki's little sister (she's like a mother😂😂) And I love Eric, I like how much he cares about Loki , he's a real friend and a gift.

I'm so happy that y/n got her satisfaction when she visited Bucky, I feel so good about it.

I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about it, I don't know why it touches me so much, Loki's and y/n's beginning relationship is kind of immaculate and the loveable way they treat each other...and at the same time it's so hot 💚❤️‍🔥💚❤️‍🔥

'...and played with his poofy chest hair'...thank you for this line🤣🥵

...and I'm excited for the dirty things he will do to her and when he will take care of her 😏😏...and she of him and worshipping him❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

'Katlyn was next on his list' yes bitch, burn in hell 💀🔥🔥🔥

And he will send that bitch in her own personal hell 🔥🔥🔥

My Queen👑 you had a big lack of sleep but you wrote a gorgeous chapter. I'm on my knees again🧎🏻‍♀️ and I love you so much🥰💖

Take good care of you 💚💚💚😘

loki doesn't understand how addicted we are to him and that we'll never be sick of him 🥺

Yup bodyguard loki has channeled his BMUBMD self ;) but to be fair this is not the first time he has harmed someone, he was in the army and he has been a bodyguard for a long time.

I don't feel too bad for Bucky either and Steve's true colours are out in front of him, like y/n said now he'll know how it feels to be betrayed like that.

The bone cracking makes me cringe and I wrote that, i hate violence but yeah if daddy loki wants to protect me and avenge me? Goo daddy go.. I love you 🤣

His poofy almost non existent chest hair owns me

Thank you for the loveliest ask my dear, love you so much 💚💚🤗❤️

[sserpente]

A/N: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Loki, Happy Birthday to you! Let’s wish our favourite Trickster all the best! ♥ Requests from @hanzimmer and anon.

Words: 2422 Warnings: so much fluff, Asgardian!Reader

Midgard wasn’t so bad after all. You hadn’t been so sure—after all, you had heard the stories. Pollution of all kind, wars over silly things like religion and food drenched in unsaturated fats. You wrinkled your nose, hoping that Thor had organised some proper snacks for his Yule… no, you corrected yourself, his Christmas party.

He had invited his closest friends from Asgard—Heimdall, Sif, Volstagg, Hogun, Fandral and you. Heimdall was the only one who, for obvious reasons, had been unable to attend. So here you were now, walking towards this huge building they called Stark Tower. You were familiar. Loki had used it to open a portal to lead an alien army to New York City.

You smiled at the thought of meeting Loki again despite of what he had done. Odin had sentenced him to remain among the mortals for a few centuries to come, serving and aiding them if need be, as an “Avenger”. You had not seen him since the day he had let himself fall into the void beneath the Bifrost, believed him dead and mourned and cried your oldest and most dearest childhood friend… and had rejoiced and hurt all at the same time when he returned and wreaked havoc on Earth.

He must have changed so much—but not enough for you to stop loving him. He had no idea, of course. You had been friends for as long as you could remember and Thor had always been around too. He had loved occupying your attention by bragging with his berserker skills wielding his hammer and creating thunder and lightning.

You suppressed a giggle. Loki and you had often sneaked off together after supper, stealing some fancy dessert and hiding somewhere in the castle so you could chat in peace. How often had you wished Loki would dare a chaste kiss then?

Looking back at it today, it made you wonder if Thor had purposely tried to keep you away from his adoptive brother. Come to think of it, he had always attempted to find a way to embarrass Loki one way or another, and often with the help of his friends who were currently walking right next to you, a little confused about the elevator technology in this realm.

When the metal doors opened again with a pling, you were not disappointed. Thor had decorated the spacious living area with all the Christmas decorations Earth had to offer. There were tinsel and baubles and other ornaments, nutcrackers and fake icicles and snow, sparkling Christmas trees, countless holiday lights blinking away, candy canes, gingerbreads and a massive Santa Clause statue.

“My friends! I’m so glad you could make it!”

The other people in the room you knew from Thor’s stories whenever he returned to Asgard to see if everything is alright. You recognised Captain America instantly due to the muscles and Hawkeye and Black Widow. The two men remaining must have been Tony Stark and the scientist who turned green when he was angry. The person you were interested in the most, however, was the god dressed in green and black next to Thor.

Your face lit up when you spotted Loki and his lips parted barely noticeably in response. You greeted Thor with a brief hug but never took your eyes off of him. Then, for a second, you took in his appearance, admiring how much more grown he looked… how much more mature and experienced. His innocence, so you realised, had vanished from his aura like damp fog in a forest.

You shivered when he spoke your name. “Good to see you.” You weren’t quite sure what he had expected from you but apparently not that you would throw yourself into his arms, pressing yourself against him as if he were a piece of wood in midst of a roaring sea.

“How are you doing, you silly Trickster?” You muttered once you managed to let go of him again, almost complaining when his hands left your body.

His smile was faint but honest, albeit there was still confusion sparkling in his eyes.

“I didn’t think you would be glad to see me.” He admitted instead of responding.

“W-why wouldn’t I be? Loki, I haven’t seen you in years. I thought I had lost you. Did Thor not tell you how the guards almost threw me in prison because they wouldn’t let me see you after New York?”

He frowned. “Not a word.”

“I almost stabbed them… I missed you.”

Loki had no chance to reply this time. Volstagg scattered forth towards the buffet, forcing you to step aside and indicating Thor must have finally started the festivities. You had barely risked a look at the buffet yourself yet but the selection of cookies, cakes and sandwiches looked indeed very promising.

The Warriors Three and Sif made sure to ignore Loki as best as they could—they had nothing to say to him anymore, after all and just like back in the old days, Thor made no move to change that. So while he was introducing them to some Midgardian Christmas traditions, you stepped aside with the fizzy drink he had handed you, quietly talking to Loki.

“Loki!” Volstagg suddenly called out, followed by a chuckle by Fandral. “You need a refill.”

You covered your own glass when they poured the same pinkish liquid (Thor had said it was ‘cotton candy liqueur’) into Loki’s who watched the scene with utter dismay. You could see Thor grinning from the corners of your eye and even Hogun was cracking a smile—Sif only rolled her eyes and one of the mortal men you did not know and had not yet made any effort to get introduced to, pressed his lips together so he would not burst out laughing. Idiots. Just leave him alone for once, will you?

“Who is who?” You asked once they had turned away again. “I recognise the redhead and the archer, and Captain America, what about the others?”

“Stark is the man to the left.” Loki said, downing almost the entire drink at once. Alcohol was supposed to numb unease, after all.

“The one with the beard?” The one who had failed to show his amusement when Volstagg clearly made Loki uncomfortable, you added mutely.

“Yes. The other is Bruce Banner.”

“The Hulk.” He nodded.

“How are they… treating you here?”

Loki snorted. “After what I have done? They seem to have forgotten I was the reason they assembled in the first place, not, however, that it was I who attempted to subjugate the planet.”

You glanced at him for a moment. “What happened, Loki? You were never like that. You never wanted a throne, you merely wanted your father to treat you and Thor as equals. Why Midgard?” Loki’s expression was pained, yet at the same time, relief flooded him. No, you were right—he had never been like that. Thor had still not realised that but here you were, his oldest friend whom he had secretly been in love with for decades, realising in a mere second that there was going on with him.

“Not here.” He shook his head slightly, making you frown. Something was up, you could tell. Something weighed heavy on his mind, tearing him down. You sighed. It was nothing new that besides Frigga before her death, no one but you ever truly bothered to listen to what Loki had to say. It had never been as important as what Thor had had to say.

Not here, he had said. Well then for now, all you could do was cheer him up a little. “What cake is that?”

Loki raised his eyebrows, irritated by the sudden change of topic. “Thor said something about marshmallows.”

“What are marshmallows?” He shrugged. “It looks really good though…” You said, a devilish grin forming on your lips. “What do you think? Let us grab that cake and get out of here?” Just like in the old times?

Loki smiled—it suited him, being this blithe. You wondered when he had last had the chance to be like that. Sneakily, you reached for some white forks (they were very light, a very cheap material, apparently) all the while Loki yoinked the cake. You made sure no one would notice before you followed him out of the vast room and took the elevator to another level where it was so quiet one could have heard a needle drop.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“My room,” he answered. “I am quite surprised they gave me one to be truly honest.”

But very apparently, their generosity had been kept within limits. Compared to his chambers back on Asgard, Loki’s room here on Midgard was pathetically small. A single bed and a desk along with a wardrobe and a tiny bedside table were the only items of furniture and to be quite frank, the room resembled a prison cell more than a proper accommodation. Unlike the rest of the Tower, there was not a single piece of Christmas decoration in here. You were almost disappointed. Surely, Loki would adore some green and gold tinsel as well. You wondered if Thor had even bothered to ask if he wanted any.

You didn’t need his permission to sit on his bed, you had never needed it back on Asgard either. Loki and you were so close you sometimes wondered why he had never tried to take you with him on his conquest. You wouldn’t have minded to be the queen of evil if only that meant you could be with him…

Loki sat down next to you, setting both your glasses aside. You grinned when you handed him a fork and you both dug into the marshmallow cake as if it was going to be your last meal.

“Oh…” You mused. “It really is good.”

“Hmm…” He confirmed.

You giggled. “I’m glad you didn’t lose your sweet tooth.”

Your heart jumped when Loki winked at you, his mouth still full of cake. You had already transformed the pretty and edible creation into an utter crumbly mess but then again, who needed those paper plates these mortals used as dishes, regardless of the cute snowmen and snowflakes on them?

“It was not the same without you, you know.” You said then.

“I bet Thor kept you occupied.”

You shook your head, the both of you still munching away.

“We barely spoke after your death, I mean… after we thought you had died… to be truly honest, I think I only tolerated Thor because he is your brother.”

Loki tilted his head. “One might think it was the other way around.”

“Yeah… that’s probably what he is telling his mortal friends right now. I meant it, Loki. I really missed you. I was heartbroken when they told me you had flung yourself down the Bifrost…”

“And then?” He interrupted. “Were you repulsed when you learned about what I did here on Midgard?”

You shook your head. “I was worried for you. You were always on my mind. Did you… Did you ever think about me?”

“Well, of course I have, I love you.” He blurted out, only to close his mouth in utter shock the fraction of a second after.

You nearly choked on the cake. “W-what did you just say?”

“N-nothing, I… I said I have been in love with you unconditionally for centuries.” Loki bit his tongue, his eyes widening. You had positively never heard him stutter before. What he was saying was true, there was no mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes, but even though your heart leaped at the thought of him reciprocating your romantic feelings, your first instinct was to figure out what had made him spill the truth like that.

Unceremoniously, you reached for his pinkish drink and gave it a smell. Yours smelled different, without a doubt.

“Oh, Loki… they’ve spiked your drink with a truth potion I believe.”

“They did what?”

“That… that must be why they snickered so much upon refilling your glass, my love. I’m glad we left, I bet they were waiting for you to make a fool of yourself.”

Loki scoffed. “Well… I did that now anyway, did I not? Perhaps you should leave, I—”

You only smiled. “I love you too, Loki.” You said, making him look up in utter surprise. The cake between you on the bed was now entirely forgotten. You brushed it aside, not caring whether the icing would stain his bed sheets.

“What?” He breathed as you crawled towards him and made yourself comfortable on his lap, feeling confident now that he had admitted his feelings for you.

And as you wrapped your hands around his neck, you smiled, touching his forehead with yours.

“Nothing you do could ever stop me from loving you, Loki. If Thor had not thrown this stupid Midgardian Yule party… I might have never seen you again.”

Loki took a deep breath. “I think I understand now what Thor meant by ‘Christmas miracles’…” He uttered in response, his lips only inches from yours. Laughing quietly, you closed the small distance between you and pressed your lips against his. It was a chaste kiss—to test the waters, get used to how it would feel and, much like you had anticipated, it stole your breath away.

“Let us leave together.” Loki suggested hoarsely when you broke apart again, his breath ghosting over your lips.

“How? Odin sentenced you to be here, with Thor. He would know—and Thor and his Avengers would come after you.”

“Oh, they will not.” He retorted, a mischievous smirk growing on his lips.

“Loki? What have you been up to again?”

“I have the Tesseract.” He revealed smugly.

“You… what? How?!”

“Shhh… keep your voice down, sweetling.”

“I’m sorry… how? It’s supposed to be on Asgard, locked in the king’s treasure chamber.”

“Well, it was. Until I took it. We could go anywhere. They will never be able to trace us.”

You bit your lower lip, excitement rushing through you. Life on Asgard was dull without Loki and you certainly did not desire to stay here on Midgard with those mortals and their strange traditions and customs. Loki’s proposal was a dream come true, at long last.

“Then let us do it.” You beamed, making him smile. “But first… we finish that cake. Leave them a goodbye present.”

Loki laughed—and you did not move off his lap again until the very last crumb of the marshmallow cake was gone.

-

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you considered supporting me on Kofi! It’s either for caffeine or red wine, I’ll take both. ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[hitory--chan]

Day 5: Queen of the Garden

(Ranked T)

Title: In my withered roses you lay resting

Around the forest there were always legends of all kinds, about fantastic creatures and horrifying monsters beyond human imagination, about nymphs, fairies, werewolves and giant snakes that would devastate the entire town in a few minutes if they wanted to; they were just legends, stories to amaze or scare whoever would listen to them, hypnotizing the virgin ear that listened to them with their magnetism, leading their victim to demand more, driving them mad in the search to satisfy that need.

But there was one in particular, the biggest, the most fantastic, the most sublime and the most terrifying no one ever dared to tell, the one whose existence was only known to the oldest of the town who defended tooth and nail its veracity, but nevertheless only tell each other, remembering and crying the intense agony that each word conveyed.

The legend of Hinata, the queen of the garden in the heart of the forest, and Sasuke, the infamous king who without any army was able to penetrate the invulnerable barriers that protected the queen.

The king who never returned.

“My King!” One of her courtesans shouted. "Please, I beg you to reconsider!"

He ignored her, tightening the draws of his armor as the guards placed the shoulder pads and handed him his helmet, which he took.

It was still dark, the moonlight hanging over the entire sleeping kingdom as he prepared to leave.

"My lord, he turned, now listening to his first officer, Kakashi, who was speaking to him "Are you sure this is a good idea? Going into the forest alone?"

"It's not something I didn't do before, Kakashi, you should know" he replied without much interest as he grasped the reins of Onyx, the majestic black horse that had accompanied him for years.

"I understand, but it's not the same, your majesty, it never got beyond the Stone River" the man said, his voice so slow and dull as if it was something he was trained to say, but Sasuke knew him better than many as to know that there was concern hidden behind those dead tones “It is a great risk to take to find a woman that we do not even know exists”

"People are dying Kakashi, of hunger, of disease ..." He inclined his head a little towards his first officer, not enough to really see him “If that woman, that… witch exists, it will be our chance to solve all the evils that afflict us, if I find her, then I save my people”

“And if you do not find her, my lord?”

“Then we will have to take more drastic actions, actions that I don't think we're ready for right now, Kakashi”

The silence that followed told Sasuke that the man knew what he was referring to.

They had recently fought a war against a rival kingdom that wanted to take over all his lands. They attacked in the middle of the night, cowardly seeking to have the tactical advantage darkness gave them without expecting the surprise that they were ready to fight back with much more violence than would be expected of a small kingdom that barely prospered in comparison to others. Many lives were lost on both sides, but his army had kept the slightest advantage over the invaders and captured the main officers of the intruders, executing him right on the battlefield as he had ordered them to do, closing any openings to negotiation the rival might propose.

They rose above them and conquered, drove the remaining invaders from their lands and proclaimed their victory, but they had not come out without casualties, as happened in any other war.

Their crops were burned and their women desecrated. Bodies of infants who had adventured out of their hiding spots now laying among the corpses of their fathers and men who sacrificed their lives in the name of the king's sovereignty, waiting to be buried or burned while their mothers, wives, and brothers mourned their losses.

Soon after came the diseases, plagues so violent that even the best physicians in the kingdom had succumbed to permanent contact with the infected and were now lying in beds, signaling with weak voices to proceed to their charges.

The only hope was the woman who dwelt in the depths of the forest, a queen in her own right, the oracle told him, whose miraculous fingers brought life to everything she touched. A witch, servant of the devil, counterattacked the priest, who would only bring bliss before plunging them further into misery.

A queen, a witch, Sasuke didn't care, he only wanted her hands to heal his people, determined to cut them off if necessary to save the few that were left.

Then Sasuke mounted his horse and reached out his hand, taking the sword that Kakashi had prepared for him and fastening it to his waist strap, where it would remain with him throughout his journey.

"Itachi will be in charge while I'm gone" he decreed, looking at his court, who looked at him in surprise and disbelief.

“My king, my lord!” The woman spoke again “His majesty is very ill for this task, I fear that his condition is too delicate to carry the role, your highness!”

“My brother already ruled once in a worse state than the one he currently is in while waiting for me to grow up to cede the throne, he certainly can do it a bit more while I'm gone”

“But sir…!”

"In case his condition worsens ..." he interrupted, with a tone of voice as icy as the look he gave the woman "in case he´s not an act to continue, then Kakashi will make all the decisions in my absence and my brother's disability”

Several indignant murmurs were heard from the other members of the court, annoyed by the possibility of a military man would rule them, but with the same look he gave the insolent woman, he quieted them all.

"Kakashi" he called and the man walked with him towards the limits of the kingdom that served as the border of the forest, trotting slowly as his first officer followed him with great ease "I trust you to keep everyone safe, especially my brother” he said, stopping his steed and staring at the man.

"My king's orders are my perpetual la," Kakashi recited, quoting the motto of imperial strength as he brought his right hand to his heart and bowed to him.

Sasuke nodded, but before starting his horse again, he spoke for the last time.

- And Kakashi ... execute her

Kakashi bowed again and Sasuke pulled the reins of his horse to start running, going into the forest when the first rays of dawn hit the ground, and knowing his order would be carried out without hesitation.

-----------------------------------

Inside the forest the thick trees hid any trace of the sun, giving the illusion that it was still night even though Sasuke knew it must be after eight.

Still he didn't back down, mentally reciting the directions the oracle had given him to find the mysterious woman.

“Once crossed the river of stone, the road will split for you, one more dangerous the other, competing for the new prey that appears before them. Be guided by the horrendous noises that make the bones of the strongest of men tremble, by the trail of perdition from which your eyes will not be able to turn away, from the putrid stench of those who defied the sanctity of the earth who stepped on impure feet.

Along the way you will find death's favorite resting place. Do not drink or eat the natural delicacies that will be shown for you, instead you must use your senses, facing the great beast that will attack from the shadows.

If the combat is satisfactory, then the beast will show its respects by leading you to its queen, otherwise, there will be the place of your last rest"

Naturally, oracles liked to be cryptic with their words to the point of making them indecipherable, but the more than a century old woman who had served three generations of her family had put those fanfare behind her, preferring to be as clear as possible in her revelations than risk a bad future for the kingdom because of misunderstandings out of her tongue.

Upon reaching the Stone River, he took a moment to observe the waters peacefully.

That river had been named this way not only because of the rock formation that simulated a natural bridge in the center of that great pool, just covering its surface with a thin layer of water that made it extremely slippery, but also because of the rock at its bottom, arranged in the shape of spikes so sharp that even the slightest fall on them could cause fatal injuries to the unfortunate victim.

He allowed Onyx to drink some of the water before venturing across the stone bridge.

His horse, fearless just like his owner, also had some afraid. On rare occasions he’d tried to cross that path through the waters with the equine, but his partner had acquired a phobia at that particular step when, being very young, he slipped on the stone and it was almost impossible for him to get back on his feet, almost falling to the bottom of the river when with desperate movements he slid to one side before finally reaching the bank of the river and climbing, being completely exhausted on the grass, all under the frightened gaze of his owner who had remained on dry land while his horse struggled.

He remembers that, after that, he had remained with Onyx there for longer than he ever was in that place, being found by the royal guard and brought to the castle only to remain expectant all night at the possibility of having to sacrifice the animal.

Now, Onyx was a majestic and imposing stallion with more history than half his stablemates, but from time to time he would turn back into a fearful foal when they were near that place.

However, while he normally wouldn't push him any further than he considered Onyx could take, this time around he couldn't afford to be understandable to his horse or to be left without a mount for the rest of the way.

“Come on boy!” He encouraged him, shaking the reins several times and smiling as Onyx, refusing at first, approached the rock and put his front legs on it, whinnying loudly as he took small terrified steps.

Even in the slippery material, the new horseshoes he had had his horse put on were being especially helpful in preventing the equine's legs from slipping over the rock even when Onyx's steps were somewhat shaky, leading the horse to gain a little confidence with every step until he was finally on the other side.

“Well done, Onyx!” He congratulated the horse, patting and stroking his neck before pulling out an apple, which he happily accepted.

He wasted no time and continued with the journey, reaching the place where the road divided in three.

At first glance they did not seem dangerous at all, leading him to wonder if the oracle had been wrong with her interpretation or if he had deviated from the correct path himself, but the sudden sound of something sliding on the ground caught his attention and put his whole body on guard again, waiting for any sign of attack.

Instead what he received was the cawing of birds, crows, he recognized, noises of something sliding and the screeching of bats that flew directly to his face at that moment, causing Onyx to panic and stand up on his two hind legs, almost making Sasuke to fall.

When he regained his balance and Onyx was back on all fours, Sasuke looked at the central path, remembering what the oracle had said and thinking that this should be the way to go, so he made the horse move forward, despite the reluctance of the animal.

The putrid stench started only a few minutes on the road before dead animals began to appear on the road, being replaced only a few meters later by human corpses in various states of putrefaction, from skeletons to bodies that should barely have been there for a few days. , and even recognized the uniform worn by the third-rank guards in his kingdom, only stuffed with bones, each corpse wrapped by vines and other local weeds.

He was forced to breathe as little as possible when the stench became impossible to bear, coming to vomit in the section where everything was strongest, without having the opportunity to breathe until the road began to clear of so much death, showing to his sight a great stone plateau clothed with climbing vines and rosebuds.

He got off his horse and gave him another snack, tying the reins to the tree farthest from the ferns and other plants full of fruit that he knew they shouldn't eat.

Slowly and carefully he approached the great structure, gazing at it in fascination. Up close, he noticed the spines that protruded around the roses of different sizes that decorated the plateau, which, he noticed, were deceptively sharp, cutting him at the simple touch and spilling a thick drop of blood that bathed the thorn that caused his wound.

The sudden tremor in his spine appeared as the slight trembling of the earth beneath his feet, accompanied by the sound of something sliding - something that must have been big and heavy, from the way it sounded - and then deafening silence was present. .

“Onyx!” He shouted, turning around when he heard the horse whinny and stop suddenly, expecting to meet the animal where he had left it, however in its place he found another type of animal, giant and with shiny black scales, which were only cut with the three red lines of scales on the tip of its tail, raised in the air with a swaying motion.

The gigantic snake kept its eyes fixed on his, hissing and showing off his forked white tongue.

Eyes wider than they had ever been in his life, he diverted them just a little to the rest of the great reptile's body, almost growling in pain at the bulge protruding from where, he guessed, was the stomach of the immense snake, sure it was the product of his horse swallowing.

Feeling the flame of fury ignite and grow in him, he grasped the hilt of his sword in a slow motion and drew it lightly, as the serpent rose a little higher above him.

With one swift movement he pulled it out completely as the snake lunged at him, barely being fast enough to avoid its jaws, but not fast enough to dodge its tail, which slammed it against a tree and left it stamped there until he nailed the sword almost halfway.

Even his powerful armor hadn't been enough to shield him from that blow, catching his breath cut short by the pressure of the limb that had held him captive, but he had no time to think about that as he tried to get away from the great perimeter that covered the snake.

The injured tail slammed into the ground next to him, causing him to stumble from the din it caused.

The reptile's head also collided with the ground a few feet from his back and then glided at high speed towards him, using its nose to push him up when he collided with him and sent him flying into the air as the snake rose again, now with its jaws open.

But Sasuke was able to hold on to the tip of the animal's nose and avoid being swallowed as he had done with his horse by resting his feet against the bottom of the snake's mouth and giving a little jump before it closed it, being helped by the impulse that the same reptile gave him before the abrupt movement it made while trying to make him fall.

Sasuke stayed on the snake's skull and held onto its scales as best he could before stabbing his sword - which he had clung to as much as he could during the attack - into one of the animal's eyes, which let out a shrill and strange sound before, to Sasuke's immense amazement, it made a 180 ° turn and threw himself hard against the floor, taking him with and crashing him on the flat surface, a blow so violent that it caused him to lose his helmet, his mobility and his strength.

--------------------------------

Only seconds before he lost consciousness he saw the towering snake - now one-eyed - rise above him before launching itself with his jaws open just as Sasuke's eyes finally gave up.

When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was the immense throbbing pain in his head that only got worse when he tried to open his eyes, being hit by the brightest sunlight that forced him to close them again.

Where had so much light come from?

After a while, and when he was sure he could resist it, he opened his eyes again.

It took him a long time to regain the clarity of his sight, but once everything was clear he was astonished at what he saw.

In front of him a large colorful space, green above all, stood proud in all that light. Huge trees were here and there, casting great shadows, covered with fruit in great quantity.

A few meters from him was a lake with crystal clear waters, reflecting everything that was shown from above.

It was only when a slight movement behind him caught his attention that he realized he had been leaning against something cold, and when he turned around he felt as if his entire being had left his body when he found himself face to face with the giant eye yellowish that he recognized instantly.

He backed away quickly, grunting in pain as his muscles protested at his sudden movements, but instead of stopping to ease them, he fought them and reached for his sword at her waist, surprised not to find it.

The snake stared at him for a few seconds before lazily deflecting its head toward the center of the thread that had turned its body.

—You must not fear, it will not hurt you

He turned quickly and looked around, searching for the soft voice that he had said those words.

"Onyx" he breathed out, seeing the mate he had thought he lost, now lying on the grass, asleep on the other side of the lake.

Naturally those words were not said by the animal, but by the other person next to it, who was gently stroking the mane of his horse.

Their eyes met and he forgot how to breathe, incredulous of the moons that were his pupils, beautiful, and that without a doubt were looking directly at him.

The woman stood up and he could see her completely: snowy skin, long dark hair that swayed with every step she took. Her body was covered in leaves, branches and flowers that clung to her like a second layer. The upper part of her was covered by vines up to the middle of her breasts, being enough to cover the most. The lower part was a skirt, much less rigid than the upper one as it was made entirely of green leaves in different sizes, stopping only a few inches above her knees.

A long vine rested in the center of her abdomen, joining the two pieces as one.

She was barefoot and her hair was decorated with the most elaborate flower crown he had ever seen in his life.

As he passed by the lake, he stopped, crouching in the direction of the water, taking from the ground a large leaf of a plant that he did not recognize - and which he had not realized was lying there - and wrapped it gently until it formed a bowl that she plunged into the water until filled it, rising again and resuming its way towards him, now with the makeshift pot that spilled tiny drops from its bottom.

When she finally got to him, he saw her more clearly: thin and natural pink lips, a small and upturned nose, perfectly shaped eyebrows and long eyelashes that only marveled her appearance even more, also highlighting the lack of the slightest freckle on her face.

She offered him the bowl but he did not take it at first, still fascinated and hypnotized by the beauty of the woman in front of him until she pushed it to his chest, forcing him to hold it as she took one by one his hands between her smallest and drew them to the sides of the blade, releasing it when she made sure his grip was firm.

She, with one of her index fingers, touched the surface of the water three times in different parts, and when her hand lowered three different flowers grew in the water: a lotus, a calla and a water lily, which immediately disintegrated and mixed with the liquid, giving it a color that ranged from pink to purple.

"Take it" she said, looking into his eyes "it will help you heal."

He didn't know why, but he obeyed her and took the entire tonic in one gulp, grimacing when the bitter taste of it touched his tongue and she slid down her throat.

She smirked and turned around, walking back to where Onyx was now awake, looking at them wearily.

"It's you" was the first thing that came out of his mouth, looking at her completely uncovered back as she walked away from him “The witch”.

Her walking stopped and she turned around again, looking at him now with a frown, offended.

“That's very rude!. I am not a witch" she protested "My name is Hinata Hyuga, and I am the queen of this garden" she said proudly, turning to resume her march as if her statement was enough to deny his word.

But he would not be fooled; he had witnessed for himself what she had done in the water she had given him to drink.

He looked around him and his sight fell on his sword and armor, arranged neatly on the grass near the giant serpent's tail.

Slowly and careful not to be heard he approached his things and took the sword at the same time that with difficulty he took three steps back as the snake's tail moved to hit the ground and then returned to its original position.

It took a bit of trouble, but he was able to raise his sword and hold it with both hands, directing the tip in the direction in which that woman - that witch - was, now again sitting on the grass, stroking the back of his horse, looking at him unimpressed.

"Witch, you will come with me" he demanded "Everything will be easier if you do not resist, you will get a decent treatment: you will sleep in the softest bed, you will wear the finest clothes ... otherwise, if you resist, you ... you ..." He stopped for a moment, not for lack of words, but from shortness of breath —If… if you resist… the dungeon… the smallest and dirtiest dungeon will be…

"You’re hurting them" she interrupted, and he didn't understand.

The witch looked down and he followed her eyes, stopping at the sword that was now stuck in the middle of a small group of flowers.

When had he lowered his sword?

“What did you do to me?” He growled, aware of the progressive loss of strength to which he was subjected.

"It's the medicine" said the witch, calmly "for your body to heal, it must first rest”

And as if that were a command, his body fell apart, causing him to fall to the floor on a tall grass bed that he could swear was not there a moment ago.

- Witch! ... You will pay...

Unconsciousness welcomed him.

--------------------------------------

When he woke up there was still sunlight, quite clear, so he thought that maybe he had only slept a few seconds, but the environment felt different from before and he could hear the distinctive galloping and neighing of Onyx, going here and there as his footsteps slightly covered the happy laugh of the female.

He could not move his body freely, only just his fingers, and mentally he cursed himself for having taken that concoction that this evil woman had given him, clearly using her sorcery to weaken him.

“Your body still needs rest” he could have shuddered at the sudden voice if it weren't for the fact that he was paralyzed, shortly afterwards the witch's face appeared in his visual range, tilted from above so he could see her “you´ve been very hurt by your confrontation with Munda, your injuries will take a little longer to heal”

He grunted, annoyed.

“Why have you risked your life to get here, mortal?” She asked him, now in a more serious tone.

Then and once again without really knowing why, he began to tell her about his kingdom, about the moments of wealth and prosperity before the war struck, about the deaths and the lack of food that besieged them, making their situation worse. He told her about his brother and his mysterious bedridden illness, about the sudden barrenness of his lands, and how he had preferred to make this trip alone rather than take away much-needed protection in case they tried again to invade them during his absence.

In her face there was no sorrow, annoyance or joy for their misfortunes, instead it was pure curiosity what he could see while he finished explaining the reason why he was looking for her.

"Okay, I'll go with you" she answered with conviction.

He, who had gradually regained mobility to the point where he could now sit up and the waves of heat attacked him insistently, looked at her in surprise, unable to avoid questioning her decision.

"I'll go with you" she confirmed again "However, the starting path is more dangerous than the one you traveled to get here, so you will have to make a full recovery first" She stood up and looked at him “I cannot be away for long, this place depends on me, so I will help your people and leave immediately, it is my only condition”

He watched her, almost denying immediately that he could leave that easily, but he was quick enough to bite his tongue before speaking.

"Okay, then we have a deal" he agreed.

She nodded pleased and stood up, walking away from him and up a tiny hill where she began to press with her fingers the closed buds and the withered flowers that surrounded her, opening and coming back to life with the simple touch of her.

Despite having accepted, in his mind they only danced ways of how he would interrupt her departure, it would be very foolish of him to let her go that easy, a person with her abilities, whether witch or not, was unique, one in a million , and no self-respecting kingdom would let her go that easily.

He could try to convince her by showing her everything that she obviously didn't have in her "garden", the wonders of modernity, and if that couldn't convince her, well, he had dungeons at his disposal that he could trick her into or even without them, but surely he would not lose those abilities from his hands.

Satisfied with that plan, he began to touch the back of both of his hands, searching and removing the splinters that he did not know how he has nailed himself.

Even though Hinata's tonics were helping him recover faster than he normally would, it felt like it was actually taking forever.

There, the days and nights seemed to last longer than normal, as if the clock had 36 hours instead of 24.

Each remedy that Hinata gave her were different and she healed something different, like the one she used to make his bruises disappear, which were a combination of wild flowers and citrus fruits that melted in the water as soon as she created them and released. Those bruises that would normally take a week or more to fade, she had done it in almost three days.

The problem is that she could only give him a tonic for one thing at a time, along with the first one that she had given him so his body relaxes and rests.

Now he was drinking one that she claimed would help with his internal ailments, and he guessed she was referring to the bruised bones that barely allowed her to walk or breathe. This was particularly bitter and she had to take it several times a day, which was a mini torture considering that these wounds would take even longer to heal.

He was washing his armor when he heard her scream.

“No! Go away, you can't be here!”

His skin prickled when she heard it. Had someone entered that place? An ally or an enemy? The great snake that was supposed to be the only one that could make someone else reach that place, Munda, hadn't moved from the rock it had spread on the day before, almost looking dead if it weren't for the hiss it left escape from time to time, maybe someone had found a way to enter without facing the great reptile?

“No! Get away!”

Wasting no time he dropped the piece of armor he was washing into the water and instead grabbed his sword, gripping it tightly and ran - or rather, he limped quickly - looking beyond the trees and bushes until he saw her midnight hair, covered with small flowers of various colors, and he went quickly towards her, who kept her fists clenched and her arms stiff down, slapping the floor with one foot while she kept yelling at whoever was there to leave.

But as he got closer to her, he still couldn't see anyone else; maybe it was some invisible person? It would not be unreasonable to think about that.

Finally, when he got to her side, he saw whoever caused her annoyance.

"This… creature…" she began, making an exasperated gesture with her hand at the wild boar that nonchalantly ate the blackberries from the orchard it raided "This annoying creature won't go away!" I've tried everything but it keeps coming back”

He looked at her in disbelief.

“So much fuss over a wild boar?”

“Is this the name of this demon spawn?” She asked him, looking at him intensely "Do you know him?"

"It's a wild boar, there are hundreds of them in the forest" he said more calmly, dismissing the accusation of her previous question.

“Hundreds?!” She gasped in disbelief.

"Calm down, just ... get rid of him."

“I´ve tried it! But this ... boar keeps coming back”

He let out an exasperated sigh, thinking of suggesting of making her pet snake eat the animal, but dismissed the idea as he thought the reptile was pretty useless when it don´t came to attacking and killing unsuspecting humans and their horses near the plateau of stone.

Since he first woke up he had only seen it move a few inches and change position, so another idea occurred to him.

“Can you hold it?” He asked him “with your ivy?”

She looked at him curiously and suspiciously, but instead of answering vocally, she raised a hand and made a few short movements with her fingers before clenching her fist, catching the animal that began to screech in panic.

He approached it, and with a certain movement, cut off it head.

When he heard her loud gasp he looked back and there she was, her brows furrowed, her eyes staked and both of her hands covering her mouth.

He looked back at the now dead animal, grabbed it head and raised it before asking.

“Do you know fire?”

.

.

.

Sasuke sat on a rock while at the same time bringing the now cooked boar meat to his mouth, biting off a large chunk and tearing it from the rest so he could eat it.

Sitting on another rock on the other side of the bonfire he had made, Hinata found herself with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed, looking at him with such intensity as if she wanted to make his head explode with just her powerful gaze.

She was upset with him, that was clear. Since he had killed the animal and cut its meat into smaller portions so he could stick them into branches and put them on the fire to cook.

The turning point, however, was when he gathered branches and leaves and started the fire that he had surrounded with rocks of different sizes as a barrier so that the fire did not spread.

Apparently, she could forgive him for killing an animal even if she was clearly against it, but lighting wood and using leaves as a burning material was where she drew the line, practically declaring enmity at the prolonged silence she had maintained.

It was funny to tell the truth, even if preparing that meat and the dressing he had bathed it with to give it a little more flavor had been torture for his sprained wrist, it was worth it if I could see her normally relaxed and smiling face distorted with annoyance and disappointment, her lower lip sticking out childishly.

Furthermore, and despite the wide variety of fruits she had been feeding him - more delicious than he had ever eaten - he had really missed the taste of meat on his palate.

“Hey!” He called her even though it wasn't necessary, since she hadn't taken her gaze from him for a second. "Try a little" he said, spreading some meat even though he was too far for her to reach.

That scandalized her.

“I will not do it!” She vigorously refused, looking quite offended by his proposal “I'm not a savage!”

"Me neither" he said, shrugging even though he wanted to burst in laughs at her expression.

“You are eating a living being”

“You eat the children of your plants, but I don't judge you for doing that”

The expression on her face finally overcame him, making him laugh.

With difficulty and care, he rose to his feet and walked around the fire, sitting next to her and extending with his good hand the piece of meat he himself had previously been eating.

"Try a little" he repeated, but she pursed her lips and turned her face away, refusing.

“No, I do not like”

"You can't say you don't like it if you haven't tried it yet" he told her, repeating the words his mother had repeated so much to the fussy eight-year-old he was.

But she kept refusing, so he took another approach they used to use with him when he was especially difficult to feed: negotiation.

"How about this" he began “If you try a little of this, I promise I won't complain and take all your strange meds even if they taste like hell itself, you don't have to like it, just try a little”

She looked at him scrutinizingly, apparently looking for some kind of dishonesty, but he just brought his injured wrist to the center of his abdomen, in a well-camouflaged dirty little manipulative move, which he knew was working when she looked at his wrist and then again to in his eyes.

“Just a little?” He nodded "And will you take the medicine without complaining?" He affirmed again.

Hinata closed her eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out again in the form of a long sigh.

She opened her eyes again, now with a look of determination and nodded.

He smiled and brought the meat to her mouth.

“W-wait!” she yelled, holding his wrist.

He was really having a hard time not laugh again.

Without letting go his wrist, she barely opened her mouth and bit into some of the meat, chewing it and stopping after swallowing it.

He looked at her expectantly, watching as she frowned again and sudden tears began to fall from her eyes.

Was it really that bad?

He began to feel guilty for forcing her to do so, but he was surprised when she now took a bigger bite, taking the meat from his hand to grab it herself, saying between sobs

"It's good!" she sniffed and cried harder as she ate more of it.

________________________

That night he woke up because of the pain that attacked his healthy wrist, grunting and looking for the reason for that, and when he looked at it, he was surprised and out of breath to see how a bracelet of branches wrapped him, which would not be a problem if it was not for the fact that they seemed to come straight out of his skin.

________________________

Another few days passed and he had kept thinking a lot about his situation.

Due to his suspicions, he decided to do an experiment.

For a few days he stayed especially close to her, touching her skin with his fingertips in the most subtle way he could, leading him to offer help during the moments when she did her self-imposed tasks that were not really necessary - there was not much to entertain herself with, he supposed — and despite confusion at his sudden need to help, she agreed and directed him what to do, frustrating him when any of those tasks kept him away from her.

But at the end of the day he touched her enough without going overboard - tapping her shoulder to get her attention or patted it awkwardly as he congratulated her with a "good job" - and then he walked away from her and went to the makeshift cot she had created for him, leaving her more confused than at first.

The first night he waited awake for something to happen, for the branches to start coming out or for his skin to turn green, he wasn't entirely sure what could happen, but he waited.

And he received nothing.

He repeated the experiment several more times and nothing happened, so he thought maybe it was a side effect of the last potion she had given him to drink? It would make sense that his body is no longer producing more vegetation by changing the type of medicine she was giving him, and it would also make sense that she did not know that effect as something out of the ordinary, since her own body seemed to produce by itself the plants that dressed her.

Then he forgot the topic, classifying it as a one-time occurrence.

Until he wasn't.

That morning, when he no longer had any kind of ailment and was beginning to feel he was finally regaining his strength, he had helped Munda - who, he learned, was really peaceful when he was not protecting the entrance to that garden - to get rid of the little debris that had stuck to him after his last shedding of skin.

"Good work," Hinata said, patting him on the shoulder as best she could since he was significantly taller than her “Munda's shedding of skin is usually a disaster because it is more resistant than normal, so I always have a hard time cleaning it when it's in season” she revealed, now with her hand fixed on his shoulder “you are very good at that”

He accepted her congratulations with a small hint of pride on her chest.

They passed the day with normally, and at night, while taking a bath in the lake, a sudden pain attacked his shoulder.

When he tried to move his shoulder in circles, he couldn´t, the pain and stiffness prevented him from the slightest movement, then he brought his other hand over said shoulder to try to massage himself, but when he felt his fingers prick, He stopped.

Surprised, he looked at his shoulder and couldn't believe what he saw: it was covered in thorns right where Hinata had touched it.

The fire of anger ignited in him and spread like forest fire, was that it? Her hands? Were her hands causing his body to produce leaves and thorns as if it were a simple plant? Although, now that he thought about it, he had been a fool not to realize it before, after all, she was nothing more than a witch whose hands could grow trees and flowers out of nowhere.

He had been fooled. He had let his guard down and this witch was turning him into another plant in her garden.

Who many more had she done this to?

He looked at the surrounding trees for the hint that any of them were once a man, but he had done his job so well that there was not the slightest trace of a previous humanity in them.

Angry, he left the lake and put on his pants, not caring they were dirty and dusty from the activities he had done that day. He dressed in his armor and took the sword with him, searching for Hinata and finding her, as always, in the center of the small flower-covered hill that surrounded her.

His quick and heavy steps caught his attention, turning and smiling at him when she saw him approaching, but that expression quickly changed when he entered, stepping carelessly on the flowers that she loved so much.

"Sasuk ..!"

"In two days we will leave," he interrupted, placing the sword under her chin and applying enough pressure so the tip dug lightly into her neck, hurting her “I have already lost a lot of valuable time with your stupid games, as of today, I command”

He turned around without giving her the opportunity to speak and went to the farthest part of that garden, where he found what seemed to be the oldest tree of all, the most leafy, where he sat down and pressed his back against it, crossing his arms with his sword still in his hand, quickly creating in his mind all the logistics of what he would do next.

______________________

The desperate neighing of Onyx woke him up.

He hadn't realized when he had fallen asleep, but it seems as if the apocalypse had taken place once he closed his eyes.

He blinked, trying to clear the blurry view of him until everything was terrifyingly sharp.

In front of him, Onyx kept crying, rising on his hind legs and then dropping the front legs in heavy blows, kicking up the dust with each fall.

It was daytime, he could tell, but the whole environment was so bleak that his brain had a hard time understanding it.

He looked around him, all the space that had previously been green and colorful had turned to the darkest gray he had ever seen. The trees shed their leaves at an impressive speed, the same ones that were now on the ground, surrounding him.

He tried to take one, but the blades were so brittle they broke with the simple touch.

"Onix, take it easy" But the horse ignored him; instead, he whinnied louder as if urging him to stop and then ran, leaving him behind.

He walked carefully, looking everywhere: the bushes were dry but still held some of their fruits, of which he took one and put it in his mouth only to spit it out instantly, disgusted by the horrible taste of the previously delicious blackberry had taken. As he walked, a foul stench began to fill his nostrils, aggravating the closer he got to the lake, until he realized that was where it came from. The waters, previously clean and clear, were now as black and thick as tar.

What was happening?

It didn't take long for him to find the cause.

Still on the small hill was Hinata, motionless and with her head bowed, the flowers around her were wilted. Munda surrounded the hill, making a great circle with its whole body, as trying to be a wall of protection for her owner.

The great snake gave him a warning hiss, glaring at him, now with both of its healthy eyes, as if it was challenging him to come closer.

Even with the threat of the reptile, he did, he knew how protective he was, but he had learned that in here Munda was more like a puppy playing at being brave than the gigantic and terrifying snake really was.

Already within the circle of protection of him everything was more horrible, here the flowers were not withered, and instead they seemed burned. Hinata's body remained immobile, not even seemed to breathe, and when he surrounded her and was face to face with her, he was surprised by the horrible state that in just a few hours she had gotten.

Her skin was as gray as the rest of the earth, her previously pink lips were now dangerously close to black, almost all the flowers in her hair and crown had lost their petals and the ones that remained would fall at any moment. Her eyes were open and she kept them that way, without blinking, and the only sign that told him there was still life in her was the trail of tears that fell without stopping.

He crouched in front of her and called out, but he didn't get the slightest bit of recognition from her.

He grabbed her face and winced at the ease of movement he had from her, even if her body seemed stiffer than could be possible.

Then the dark green trail that fell from her throat to her abdomen caught his eye, and he felt as if he had been hit with the strongest metal as he remembered what he had done.

Was this his fault?

"Hinata," he called her, lifting her face so he could look into her eyes, which seemed to be empty. "Hinata, I'm sorry."

But his attempts were in vain because she did not respond or make the slightest movement that indicated she would do it at some point.

Desperation began to fill him and he didn't know what to do, stroking her face and trying to wipe the tears away, but they kept falling and instead, sliding over and around his thumbs, mocking his unsuccessful attempts to stop them.

Then, in a moment of utter despair he did something he had only thought would happen in his dreams, and kissed her.

His lips froze over the cold, chapped of hers, and all ambient sound that he had previously not actively noticed disappeared. He made no move, just stood with his lips joined, praying inside his mind for a reaction, until her lips trembled.

One sob left them, then two, until it was totally a symphony of wailing.

He hugged her and pressed her to his chest, quietly apologizing to her and preferring to hear her cry than remain in the deathly silence of moments ago.

----------------------------

Recovery was slower than he could have imagined. While it took less than one night to produce the disaster, fixing it was a matter of a long time.

She avoided talking to him and he couldn't blame her, not after all that he´d caused.

She was just getting back to her normal color and at the same time so did her garden, slowly returning to the green it was when he had arrived.

He hadn't given her a reason for his action in the first place, and he didn't think he'd do it sometime soon - never, if he could.

He just helped her silently, discovering that when he kissed her, she recovered a little more.

So he kept doing it, morning, afternoon and evening, until the pink on her cheeks appeared and the flowers in her hair began to bloom.

That, however, came at a price, and it didn't take long for him to realize that the mere touch was more powerful than that of her fingers.

It first reflected on his nails, which turned brown and their textures became like that of a tree trunk. Then on his chest, where leaves and thorns came out again.

It was a much faster process than he had thought.

"I think we can leave tomorrow" were the first words she spoke to him after days of silence, smiling shyly at him, speaking in a low voice.

He nodded as best she could, his neck stiff from the changes taking place in him.

That day his feet stuck to the ground, and pulling them off felt as if he had lost a limb.

"Sasuke" Hinata called him the next morning, worried about what she was seeing. "Since when has this been happening?"

He looked at her, but he didn't answer.

He was still lying on his grass cot, trapped by the ivy that had tightly encircled his arms, torso, and legs to keep him in place.

"Wait." The desperation in Hinata's voice was palpable, but he could barely recognize anything.

With her hands, Hinata touched the plants on top of him, but was surprised to see that instead of obeying her and disappearing, they seemed to tighten around Sasuke.

She looked at her hands without understanding what was happening and tried again, her eyes clouding over as she obtained the same result as the first time.

The tears left her eyes and the sobs soon appeared the more she tried and failed, becoming more energetic and miserable with every second more.

"Hinata," he called out, barely a hoarse whisper as he felt a new plant grow from his stomach and slide its roots through his esophagus, slowly exiting his mouth "There is no time for me…”

“Do not!" She shouted shakily" Don't say that!”

“S. Save them ... my people ...” he said, barely breathing.

"I-I will, but-but first ..." A sob interrupted her "you first..."

Sasuke wanted to deny, but he had neither the strength nor the mobility to do so.

"There ... there is ... no time for ... me" he repeated.

“Sasuke”

“Please”

Without finding the words to answer him, she just nodded.

Sasuke smiled and looked at her, grateful as a single tear slid down the side of his face as more roots came out of his mouth.

"Thank you" he said, his voice cracking, closing his eyes, "I lo ..."

But he couldn't finish his sentence, losing the last breath he had and finally letting the roots slide out of his mouth and dig into the ground beneath him.

A heartrending scream came from Hinata's mouth, the loss, for the first time in hundreds of years, completely ripping her apart.

She cried over his body, feeling a pain much worse than that of a few days ago completely invade her, feeling again how she was fainting rapidly.

But she still had one last promise to keep.

Unwilling to leave him, Hinata placed both hands on the ground and gathered all of her strength, screaming as she transferred her power beyond the forest, filling all around with the life that he had come looking for.

The earth shook and great thorny walls rose above all of her garden, joining in the center without closing completely, and leaving a small gap through which the sunlight entered.

Exhausted, she walked to where Sasuke's body lay covered in roots and she dropped down beside him, placing a hand on his chest, slowly closing her eyes and melting into him.

------------------------

From the highest tower of the Uchiha castle, the cries of the courtesans invaded the room of King Itachi, whose body was covered by a white sheet as his court surrounded him.

"You did it, my king," Kakashi whispered, watching from the window as the kingdom began to fill with the vivid green of the growing plants and the colorful buds of flowers and fruit that followed them, though his attention was really fixed on the large bud that it had formed in the farthest part of the forest.

While, at the gates of the kingdom, Onyx the steed without his king arrived.

@sasuhinamonth

[transmascmikey]

Tagged by my beloved @jerseymuppet and i am hardcore procrastinating so lets go!

Last song: grey veins by L.S. dunes i have had it on repeat since past lives came out. So far its my favorite on the record

Last movie: original evil dead for the first time, the practical effects are absolutely wild the just said "yeah lets add another unidentifiable substance" and they were so right for that

Currently watching: american horror stories, they're straight up okay but after finishing hannibal i have been missing my late night gore fix

Currently reading: a couple separate anthologies (mostly historical) and laura jane grace's autobiography

Currently working on: hardcore procrastinating design homework, just really not feeling these projects and now im two weeks behind oops

Favorite color: emerald green, unless its clothes then its that army olive green. All my outfits are stupid because i keep buying things that fucking color

Savory/sweet/spicy: savory all the way. Not much of a sweet tooth, candy especially sucks to me (but im great to have around on halloween since ill give you all my candy!)

Coffee/tea/cocoa: TEA. Especially ones that taste like dirt. Coffee tastes nasty to me and would make my heart explode

Craving: nachos. I make the best btw but i will never reveal my secrets

Not tagging anyone since we all have the same mutuals but if you want to play just say i sent you :D

[imgoingtocrash]

my teen angst bullshit has a body count

by @imgoingtocrash for @hailxhydra

Rating: T

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Ned Leeds, Flash Thompson, Jim Morita, Hydra Agents

Summary:

“Correcting people all the time, sucking up attention with the whole goody two-shoes act. I’m saying you’re a teacher’s pet, loser. And one day, everyone’s going to see it for the act that it is, and when they do—”

Peter’s hearing blanks out.

Pet.

It echoes.

Two years ago, Peter Parker escaped Hydra's control and was taken in by the Avengers. Traumatized from the experience but healing, Peter's starting to get a hang of this whole normal teenager thing. However, when Flash brings up a happily forgotten trigger from his past, Tony comes to give comfort and remind Peter that he's worth more to his loved ones than Hydra could have ever dreamed of.

Read on AO3

My fic for @friendly-neighborhood-exchange! Hopefully you enjoy it @hailxhydra!!!

Full fic under the cut as requested by the exchange:

“—But I’m asking if it’s a good movie.”

“I’m telling you, it was either picking Selena for the third time or Rio, which is a stupid animated movie about birds.” Ned shakes his head dramatically. “Everybody else will fall asleep, and if everybody falls asleep, then Misses Rodriguez will give us a pop quiz instead of letting us have a movie day.”

“But I like animated movies. We like them. We watched A Bug’s Life like last week!”

“Because you hadn’t seen it before! Your film under-education is criminal, and if I don’t help you fix it, who will?!”

Ned has a point. Being kidnapped and raised by Hydra after the age of six really limits a person’s entertainment consumption, as he’s learned more than ever now that he’s surrounded by other teenagers who grew up with movies and tv shows to watch at their fingertips.

“I mean, Steve does have a list…” Peter points out weakly.

Steve keeps it in his little notebook along with other things he doesn’t understand the references to yet. He tried to encourage Peter to start something like that in the beginning, but Peter’s never really considered himself a list person. He just sort of soaks up the world now, like a curious sponge. Sometimes it means he has to Google things he doesn’t really understand the meaning of, but it also means a lot of movie nights with both the other Avengers and Ned, which is actually sort of a bonus.

Ned stops them in the hall. “Yeah, but are they cool movies or are they movies for old people and war veterans who haven’t been alive for the last 100 years?”

“...You know that I don’t really know the difference.”

Ned gives a sad shake of his head. “You’re lucky you liked Star Wars, bro. Otherwise we’d be in a very different place right now, like, friendship-wise.”

“You still didn’t answer the question.”

Peter got to pick the movie for their classes’ Cinco de Mayo party. Peter’s not sure what either movie has to do with the Mexican Army’s historical defeat of the French, but he only picked Selena because Ned suggested it. Maybe he should be regretting that choice, if the other option was harmless little Spanish birds.

“You know, Parker, I have a question,” comes a very annoyingly musical voice from behind them.

Peter just barely resists to roll his eyes. Every time with this kid. Not that Peter is any less of a kid than Flash Thompson, technically, but he definitely feels more mature.

Ned, also more mature than some of their other classmates, completely ignores Flash.

“You’ll be humming the disco medleys for weeks, I promise.”

“Wait, wait, disco? I thought you said this was supposed to take place in the 80s and 90s?”

“Music endures, dude.”

“Hey, el idiots, I’m talking to you!” Flash interrupts again.

“That’s not even how you—” Peter starts to correct, only to realize he’s stepped directly in it when Ned groans.

Flash laughs obnoxiously to himself. “Just can’t help yourself, can you, Penis?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter grumbles. It doesn’t really matter what he says now. Flash has the attention that he wanted, which means he won’t bug off until the bell rings and until he has the last laugh. And that always happens, because he’s really the only one entertained by all of the poking and prodding at Peter.

Peter breathes in, steeling himself. He’s survived worse. So much worse. Bullies with electric prongs and steel cages and control over every other aspect of his life. This is just high school. Normal kids survive it all the time, even when there are bullies and bad test grades and cliquey subcultures. This is just one privileged asshole who thinks Peter’s an easy target.

In some way, Peter’s actually proud of that. No one has ever seen him as un-intimidating before. Even his Hydra captors knew that if they lost control of him as an asset, he could easily turn on them.

(Part of him always asks why he never did. If he wasn’t evil, if he wasn’t like them, then why didn’t he just fight back? But Sam says that’s just his mind trying to deal with trauma, and Peter is trying really, really hard to get better at ignoring those kinds of intrusive thoughts.)

Speaking of talking to himself, Flash snaps his fingers in Peter’s face to get his attention back.

“You’d think for such a genius, you’d be a lot quicker on the uptake.” Flash shakes his head like he’s disappointed.

“Please just get to the point already,” Ned begs, throwing his head back.

“Correcting people all the time, sucking up attention with the whole goody two-shoes act. I’m saying you’re a teacher’s pet, loser. And one day, everyone’s going to see it for the act that it is, and when they do—”

Peter’s hearing blanks out.

Pet.

It echoes.

C’mere, Pet.

Stay down, Pet!

He was property, he was an animal, he was a weapon, their weapon, he was a mutant and he deserved it, needed it, he was the Spider, a mongrel, nothing, he was nothing and no one and Hydra was the only home a no-good runt like the Spider would ever have and he should be grateful—Kneel, Pet, be a good boy and kneel for your masters—but he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t—

Foolish Pet, you wouldn’t survive out there.

You need us, Pet. You’ll always need us.

“Peter?”

He returns to the moment with one heaving breath, only to realize he can’t take in another.

His collar is too tight, they always put it on too tight and if he complains they hit him and if they hit him he bleeds and it gets on his clothes and he won’t get any more until his bath and he hates bath time because they water is cold and stings his skin and the soap is so harsh it burns his nostrils and they’re watching him he knows they’re watching because they never leave him alone because if they did he would try to escape, he would—

“Peter, what’s wrong, are you—?”

He did. He escaped and ran away but now they have him again and he can’t live like this, not when he knows about best friends and pizza and friendly ribbing and how warm he feels when Tony pulls Peter close on the couch and presses a kiss to his head and tells Peter that he’s proud. He can’t be here anymore, he has to go, he has to run.

“Peter, wait!”

Tony is, to say the least, nervous when he gets a call from Midtown Tech’s front office.

He trusts Peter by now. The kid has come a long, long way since he snuck onto the Avengers helicarrier during the chaos of a Hydra raid. Skinny as a rail, scared, brainwashed...abused.

The Spider.

Peter didn’t like being with Hydra since they were the ones that made him enhanced, but he sure as hell didn’t want to be locked in an enclosed space with a bunch of Avengers at the time either.

As was evident by the fight he put up until Steve knocked him out. Steve still feels bad about cold-clocking a kid when Peter jokingly brings it up now, but Tony’s never shamed Steve for the decision. It was that or some kind of drug injection with the way Peter fought back tooth and nail, confused and defensive. Practically feral, from the well-fitting clothing to his lack of speech.

It was all for the better, though, once they got him back to the compound.

Peter was a talkative kid once he let himself be. Funny, too. Almost normal, if you forgot the mutant spider genetics and years of torture from a bunch of descendant assholes that seemed to hate and resent the very thing they created.

That’s why Tony agreed to let Peter start school. Real, normal, human school just like every other teenager in America attended until they finished all twelve years of it.

Because he needed to be normal, sometimes. He needed movie nights, [other things], and most importantly, friends that were his own age rather than a bunch of adult superheroes that often acted like children.

But also because Peter wanted to go, and Tony had a really, really hard time denying anything that the kid wanted when he could so easily provide.

Peter had such a hard time wanting anything, in the beginning. What did Peter want to wear instead of the plain, grey, dirty sweatpants from Hydra? What did Peter want to eat now that he could have an adequate amount of calories for his enhanced, still growing body? What did he want to watch? Listen to?

All of these choices were suddenly available to Peter, but shaking years of being denied any kind of want, any kind of choice took a toll on him that took a lot of work to get through.

Peter had put in the work. Unsurprisingly well. He was smart—tactically from years of being trained for missions, academically from whatever education Hydra must have thrust upon him. Not so much socially, but they were doing better as Peter spent more time around people that actually cared about him and lobbed insults around to tease rather than to actually cause emotional harm.

But was that enough...training, of sorts, to be around a bunch of teenagers? Sure, Peter was technically also a teenager, but they’d found him at 14. Tony still looked at Peter and saw the wide-eyed little kid sitting in the corner of a containment cell, flinching every time Tony moved.

Two years later and a lot of growth physically and emotionally, but was it enough?

Tony was hesitant about it, wish-washing the entire summer with maybes and I’ll think about its until the deadline arrived and Tony had to actually make the call.

Peter had pleaded, citing an extensive, cheesy list of films that made him want the high school experience himself for some reason. He very genuinely enjoyed shopping for school supplies. He passed Midtown’s entrance exam with results that faked years progressing in homeschooling that Tony knew would have been true, if Peter had gotten the chance to grow up like he was supposed to.

So, Tony eventually said yes, knowing that one day this call might come and Tony would have to be prepared for whatever was on the other end of the line.

An “incident” of some kind. Whatever that meant. The secretary was entirely unclear, only insistent that Peter’s family should get down to the premises immediately to handle things.

That was Tony.

Part of Tony couldn’t fathom why Peter chose him out of everyone on the team to latch onto. Another part wasn’t exactly shocked. Trauma recognized trauma, after all, even if the context was entirely different.

Tony knew what it was like to be belittled. To be seen as something you weren’t. To be abused by someone you never really trusted in the first place.

He and Peter talked a lot in that little containment cell. Hours of Tony blabbering like he always did when he was uncomfortable and Peter just sitting and waiting, waiting, waiting for the strikes to start coming.

When he said his first words.

When he told Tony his name—not Spider, but Peter Parker, a little boy from Queens who lost his parents and his whole normal life in the same night, according to FRIDAY’s records.

When he touched Tony’s arm for the first time and got a smile instead of a reprimand.

He waited and Tony was patient and it was a rough road, but...Tony was kind of a parent, now. A parental figure, at least, among others of varying degrees of quality and influence on a scarred teenager.

He was Peter’s family, whether either of them was any good at it in a traditional way or not.

And also, you know. His money was paying Peter’s tuition. His time went into helping Peter study for the entrance exam. His name was technically on Peter’s manufactured birth certificate because he was the one forging it and it wasn’t like anyone else was offering when the subject came up.

And maybe, a little, because he cared about Peter. Loved him. Wanted to be what Peter needed, what he deserved, and what better way to do that than to write his name on a piece of paper that signified the job he sort of kind of wanted?

Tony slams the car door behind himself after pulling into Midtown’s parking lot, putting on his sunglasses for the brief trip into the early afternoon sun. He’s checking security cameras, exits, and also preparing a hefty sum of cash to go into Principal Jim Morita’s bank account as well as a handful of government officials, if that’s what it takes.

Again, not that Tony doesn’t trust Peter, it’s just...when you get this kind of call and your kid is a highly trained former assassin, you prepare exit strategies on multiple fronts.

It’s been two months and Peter has only made one friend at this place. The kids can’t all be angels like Peter proclaims Ned Leeds to be. If one of them touched Peter out of nowhere or said the wrong thing, maybe Peter lashed out. Maybe Peter forgot to hold his strength back like he’s been training to do. Maybe something was broken.

Maybe it’s something far worse.

Tony has to be ready for that. He has to be ready for whatever it takes to protect Peter.

At the very least, the police aren’t on site. That’s probably a good sign that they’re willing to leave this as an internal matter for now.

The unhelpful secretary of before leads Tony out of the office by the arm at a quick pace, not explaining the situation at all before they arrive at the scene. Whatever it is. Tony was definitely expecting more blood or yelling or...anything, really.

A small crowd stands outside of a door, marked by a golden plaque to be the janitor’s closet.

Leaning on the door itself with his arms resolutely crossed is a kid about Peter’s age. Short black hair, light brown skin, dressed so similarly to Peter that Tony’s starting to wonder if that’s where Peter’s new obsession with those geeky little t-shirts has come from.

“Mister Leeds—” An older Asian man pleads, dressed in a suit and standing up straight with all of the authority he can seem to muster against the stone wall that is the teen in front of him.

The kid shakes his head in response. So this is Ned, then.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not moving. If he wants to stay in there to calm down, he should be allowed to stay in there.”

“I’m sure his parents—”

“He doesn’t even have—you don’t even know what he’s gone through!”

“And you do?”

“Well...kinda? No. But—but he’s obviously freaking out and everyone crowding around him is only going to make it worse!”

The adult rubs a hand across his forehead, stressing at a fold of wrinkles that settles there from the stress.

“Ned, I recognize you’re just trying to be a good friend, but this is a problem for—”

Tony clears his throat, catching the attention of both parties.

The older man sighs. “Oh, good. Thank you, Theresa, you can go on back to the office. We’ll take it from here.”

The secretary nods, brusquely turning around and heading off, leaving Tony there to be examined by both Ned and what must be the principal.

“Mister Stark, I’m glad you could come down, though I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances. I’m Principal Morita.”

“Obviously you know who I am,” Tony replies, shaking the man’s hand. “What did happen, exactly? Theresa was sparse on the details.”

“I told you, it’s Flash’s fault! He was being a dick and—” Ned shouts.

“Mister Leeds.” The principal interrupts, stern. “Another student apparently said something...unkind to Peter. He didn’t take it well and locked himself in the closet. I haven’t even been able to assess the situation properly yet. Normally I would start with asking Peter’s side of the story, but...”

He looks to the closet, where Ned still stands, defensive.

“The bouncer is a real stickler, got it,” Tony jokes, aiming a small smile at Ned. “Peter does seem to attract the protective type.”

“Oh,” Ned says, suddenly meeting Tony’s eyes and gaping like a fish. He seems to have finally realized exactly who he’s talking to. “Oh, wow. Mister Stark, it’s an honor. I’m a huge fan, like, so huge. Peter tells me to shut up about you at least three times a day. When he showed me a picture of you guys I was like, ‘Oh my god, your dad is Tony Stark!’ and he was like ‘Oh. Yeah, I guess you’d know who he is, huh?’ like he totally didn’t get how awesome it is that you’re Iron Man. And I know you’re only kind of his dad, but still—”

“It’s suddenly become very clear to me why you two are friends,” Tony responds, keeping his smile on.

It’s actually kind of sweet to see that Peter’s found someone to confide in, even if he’s seemingly left out the more traumatic elements. But he also knows that Peter can hear them through the door, and he wants to get to the kid as fast as possible instead of dawdling for time.

If Peter wants to see him, that is.

He does, doesn’t he? Tony has been there for everything, so far. Every breakdown when the choices became too much, when the world outside of Peter’s little cell and all of the things he did that he wishes he could forget attack him at night. He hasn’t gotten old enough to not want Tony around when he’s upset, right?

“Sorry, Mister Stark. Sorry,” Ned apologizes. “I’m just nervous and worried about Peter and—”

“I get it, kid. You’re good.” He gives a reassuring grasp to Ned’s shoulder. “But if you wouldn’t mind, I really need to see Peter now. You can ask him yourself, but I’m usually the exception to any rule about Peter wanting to be alone.”

“Right, yeah. I’ll just—”

Ned turns to open the door, but gives Morita a shifty look, like he doesn’t trust the man not to dive bomb in if given the chance.

“Peter—”

“Let him in,” replies Peter’s strained voice. He’s definitely been crying. Poor kid.

Ned pulls back and nods at Tony, stepping aside to let him through.

“You did a good job protecting him, Leeds. Thank you,” he says to the teen before stepping into the dimly lit closet and shutting the door behind him.

The room smells musty and over-powerful at the same time thanks to the potent combination of cleaners and the mop cart sitting so close together. Out of anywhere Peter could have picked, this probably isn’t the kindest to his sense of smell if it’s making Tony already scrunch his nose.

It’s lit by a single pull-chain light bulb, and in the shadows of it sits Peter, curled into himself and leaning against a rusty metal shelf filled with paper towels, cleaning equipment, and a few bottles of product that have to be expired.

“Hey, Pete.” Tony frowns at the cracked floor tile, but settles himself next to Peter anyway. His back catches some kind of spray bottle sitting on the shelf that digs uncomfortably into his back.

Peter sniffs, not looking up from the cradle of his arms. “Hey.”

Tony heaves a sigh, for the drama. “So, I hear you got your first bully.”

Peter shrugs. “Guess so.”

“That Ted kid is pretty nice. He’s a good friend.”

“Yeah. And his name is Ned.”

Tony stops beating around the bush. “What happened, Peter?”

“It was fine. It was good, you know? I got an A+ on my Spanish test, and Misses Rodriguez offered to let me choose the movie we were gonna watch for the Cinco de Mayo party as a reward. I didn’t even know any of the movies, but Ned said Selena was good because Jennifer Lopez is hot, so that’s what I picked. It was a good day, Tony!”

“...But?”

“But then Flash—”

“I meant to ask, is that his actual name? Like, legally?”

“No.”

“Oh thank god.”

“Flash said…he said I was a…” Peter’s hesitant to let it out.

“Pete, a lot of kids at this age are testing boundaries. They’re going to say a lot of stupid, insensitive, offensive—”

“He said I was a teacher’s pet.”

There’s a long minute of silence. Tony blinks curiously a few times. He doesn’t want to belittle what Peter’s feeling, but he also doesn’t understand why it’s caused him so much stress.

“I know, I know it’s—but they used to—” Peter swallows hard, probably only delaying another wave of tears. “Sometimes, before, they would call me…”

“Pet.”

Peter nods, starting to shake next to him on the floor, their arms lightly touching at just Tony saying the nickname.

“They liked it. I think it made them feel better about themselves if they acted like I wanted it. Like—like being locked in the cages or collared or—or being muzzled was good for me.”

“You need to learn a lesson, little pet. Be a good pet and eat your dinner. Stop your crying, pet. No more of your barking, pet.” Peter quotes with venom flinging from every syllable. “But I didn’t want that, Mister Stark! I promise! They gave me these powers and I didn’t want to be their pet and they made me—”

“Peter, I know. It’s not your fault. None of it is your fault, I know.”

Tony curls Peter into his side, rubbing his back consolingly.

“When Flash called me that I just—I felt the collar around my neck again and I couldn’t breathe though the muzzle and they kept kicking the cage even though it hurt my ears and I could never sleep in there because it was so small and—”

“Peter—” Peter’s hyperventilating. He’s panicking, Tony realizes. Probably just like he did initially. A flashback that triggered him into having a panic attack.

“And I know that’s not what Flash meant but I was back there and I can’t—I can’t stop—”

Peter breaks into sobs, burying his face into Tony’s shirt and clutching on tight.

“Oh, Pete. It’s okay. You’re okay,” Tony soothes.

He presses a kiss to Peter’s hair, unsure when he became this tender. Probably the moment he realized this was the way he wanted someone to treat him in the midst of his worst, most vulnerable moments.

“Sometimes the bad memories come back unexpectedly, it’s alright.”

“But don’t wanna think about it anymore!” Peter cries childishly.

If it wouldn’t break Tony’s ribs, Peter would probably start banging at his chest in frustration.

“What if it gets bad and I don’t talk anymore and I can’t go to school like a normal kid and I lose everything and then you won’t want me anymore because I can’t get over this and stop being a stupid animal who needs its owners to—”

“Peter Parker, no. Absolutely not.”

Tony pushes Peter away so he can hold the boy’s face in his hands. So that he can fucking imbue into this kid how much he is loved and cherished and human.

“You’re not property, and you’re not an animal. What they did to you was wrong, and you know that now. I know that you do.”

Not just because Peter’s been to therapy since integrating with the Avengers, but also because he’s talked to all of him during his recovery from the horrors of his earlier childhood. About how his life felt before and how it feels better now. How he wouldn’t have left in the first place if he really wanted to be a part of Hydra like they raised him to want.

He’s not the child soldier they raised anymore. He’s so much more than they ever allowed him to be in that awful place.

He loosens his grip on Peter’s face only to bring him back again with an arm around his shoulder. Maybe if Peter feels him, touches him, the kid will remember all of the growth he’s made, the family he’s gained.

“Buddy, you are getting better. I know it. I’ve seen it. You know we’re all so proud of you and the progress you’ve made.”

Tony sighs. Part of him wants to sugarcoat it. That Peter has seen the worst of the world and now he’ll just be able to move on from it scott-free. It’s what he deserves, but Tony knows from experience that nothing in life is that sort of kind.

“That doesn’t mean you won’t have setbacks. I have had setbacks. Healing from the bad stuff is really, really hard, but it doesn’t make you anything that they said you were. You’re a wonderful, good kid who deserves everything he’s worked so hard for. And you’re going to get it because you have me and the team and your new best friend behind your back. You’re not alone, you’re not in a cage, you’re—you’re home, Pete. You understand?”

Peter sniffs, a sign that he’s worked himself up again, but his weak nod into Tony’s chest tells him that some of them at least might be happier tears.

“Listen to me, Pete. And I mean really, truly listen.” He looks down at the snot-covered, tear-stained teenager practically in his lap. He does love Peter. He wouldn’t have gone this far for any other kid in the world.

“It doesn’t matter what happens—hitches, mishaps, a dumb teenage mistake. You’re our kid now, Peter. You’re never going back to Hydra. Never. Not with me around.”

He knows it means something to say it out loud rather than leaving it to be assumed. He doesn’t have as much of a problem admitting it as he thought he might.

“I’m never giving you up, or letting you go, or treating you like anything other than a person. Do you understand me? That is something you never, ever have to worry about. Not from me.”

Peter sobs against him. This time it feels a lot more like relief. A release in the safety of Tony’s arms that Peter hasn’t really allowed himself, even after two years of being free of Hydra.

Peter didn’t tell the team everything. He may never even tell Tony everything. But this is one more thing Peter doesn’t have to carry alone, and Tony is happy to help their kid navigate the horrors it's brought back into his improving life.

They sit there for another minute, Peter’s whimpers muffled in Tony’s dress shirt. He’s sure the principal and Peter’s friend are getting antsy. But all the same it gives Peter another chance to calm down, and this time he seems a lot lighter when he picks his head up to look at Tony.

“Feel better?”

Peter gives a sniffle, but accompanies it with a nod and bright, attentive eyes.

“Look, I think school’s a bust for the day. Let’s go home. Whatever you wanna do, just you and me. Nobody else needs to hear about this unless you want to tell them, okay?”

“And if you wanted, I guess…”

Peter tilts his head, expectant.

“We could...nah, it’s probably offensive, right?”

“What?” Peter insists. Tony tried to warn him, but Tony also can’t resist an idea once it pops into his head.

“I just thought, you know, if you wanted—if you thought it would help, we could get you a—“ He almost ruins it, but catches himself.  “An animal. Like a dog or something.”

Peter is silent. He bites at his lip, contemplative. Looks in the direction of a mop bucket in the corner.

“Is that bad? You don’t have to, I just thought it might make you associate that word with good things, but if not—“

Peter finally meets his eyes with a tentative grin on his face.

“What kind of dog?”