#I WANNA TALK ABT HIM MORE SO BAD IM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theloveinc · 1 year ago

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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.

It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).

He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.

Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.

It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.

There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.

But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.

(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.

"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)

#bakugou x reader #bakugo #this is what crocheting a baby hat does to u #no im jk i was just thinking abt bakugo being like 22 and awkward as h*ck bc he still hasnt recovered from the war #i wanna talk abt what he's like more but this is what came out instead LOL #like i think he's really stubborn abt ... coping with after effects of dying #and then before he knows it he has major depression LMFAOO #and he can like go to work get his degree do all he needs to do as a 20-something year guy #but he's not like. *there*. you know #and you meet him and he's a binch but he's not hard to get along with #and u just sorta take him in and drag him places like idk #your school's halloween night.. or even just a night out with ur friend (he doesn't even know how to order a drink)#and he doesnt even process it all until one day he's like 'dang it feels like ive been asleep for years'#and he kinda was #but he knows youre the one who helped him and now he wants to fix himself for you bc he remembers u being there for him #but he's so funny im imagining him with like. frat boy facial hair and a really outgrown ugly mullet type haircut #and lowkey with like. greasy skin (ik he's perfect but he's in a bad state and it shows) and he eats instant noodles ever day #and only watches japanese top gear #and goes on patrols where he beats the crap outta ppl and then doesnt remember it #DREAM BOY #and then he's big hero later #anyway #caitie post #gen

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reel-fear · 7 months ago

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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

#batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #ramblez #bendy and the silent city #bendy the cage #for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old #very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some #of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource #if you want more info n such #long post #mike D #for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore #sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd #I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later #or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast #genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things #n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming #people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance #Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin #it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy #devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is #and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to #stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better #it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out #just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently #anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD

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puppppppppy · 9 months ago

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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened #my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda #ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game #because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something #normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have #when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think #i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing #others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie #but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy #and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him #and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me #i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder #this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for #literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND #i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better #yapping #diary #loz #pokemon

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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months ago

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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr #me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel #and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need #space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time #but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single #Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was #much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh #i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups #and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that #definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him #its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh #cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did #like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess #guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here #and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno #we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff #that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting #i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it #i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu #anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu #publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago #n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus #being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the #stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)

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liquidstar · 10 months ago

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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seventh-district · 11 days ago

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#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw negative #cw health issues #‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You #like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want #‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT #if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it #dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache #i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting #food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick #but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault #everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough #for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need #cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either #i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position #my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired #god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain #That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night #the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis #well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify #and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but #there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.

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jils-things · 5 months ago

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i dont rmbr if i made a post talking about his voice but 🥹

#sorry im #waaayy too emotionally attached to him now ewwwww (sorry im shy harhar)#i only rmbr gushing so hard abt thsi when it came out thru an rb #but i wanna talk abt it moreee #butbutbutbut aauuuu auuhhffh #i so badly want to hear more of his voice i wanna hear it sososo bad ashes of memory 3 please come soon please please please #i want tosee my husband i want to see if he's ok :( :( :(#stageplay was for fhe funny but now im so emo abt this omg #he's so desperate it makes me so sad :( resorting to so much risk just to get out of where he is it makes me feel so bad #he is a good man. but he turned to being the worst because the good he provided was never returned to him :((((#me fighting between talking about how charming his voice is vs me being a wet cat about his situation #it makes me so mad that they hide all the eng vas but let the jp and cn vas get mentioned gkrkgkfk

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ichigosoju · 7 months ago

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💭💗

#i feel so bored talking to everyone else who isnt him #(and i mostly mean guys... bc they're the only ones who talk to me lol 💀)#but also i wiiiish i could find a bf... (i'd want a gf too but sadly most women arent sapphic at all 🥲)#so yeah .. i feel so empty talking to others #i dont feel 'connected' to most ppl the way i felt connected to him #idk i feel like they dont listen to what i say or talk WITH me #they're just talking TO and AT me without even reading what i say #like this guy just asked me how im doing today #and i said bad bc of my period!!!!#and he was like awww cute #???? did u hear what i said tho....#idk i just feel like alone when i talk to ppl bc no one hears me it feels like #i just miss him sm #but he isnt messaging....#and since he just reads but dont interact w my messages now i only feel stupid #so i cant even message him even if i want to #god i hate this so much #i wanna diieeeee #losing his attention has made me feel more lonely than i've ever been before i cant take this #it also hurts bc he's talking to others #and he wants that #he wants to make more friends and talk to more ppl 🙃#god i feel almost a panic attack coming on just thinking abt that #here i am losing my mind he's not messaging me and he's out there giving his attention to others

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sweetsweetbumblebee · 1 year ago

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unrelated but i DO kinda feel guilty for my little crush for reasons i will not explain. but. yeah its wild over here tonight

#🍯#sfw #like he casually mentioned being glad he can have friends who dont expect it to become anything more and i felt ill #so. ill stop having THOSE feelings immediately lol #but i genuinely DO love him as a friend #n he said i was one of the first ppl he felt comfy writing with #and i. am soooo emotional 2night #my friends r so important 2 me and im never gonna say SHIT bc i love him as my friend wayyy 2 much #sorry im saying this here we r just mutuals on my main so. akdhsk #also we were talking abt potential meet ups the other day and i HATE living where i live. everyone else is soo far away #one of my friends is coming 2 the states soon n i will be a 10 hr drive away. thats fuckign miserable #the guy this post was originally abt and 2 of our other friends live close enough that he could drive 2 them. and its the opposite side of #the country #i wanna get 2 meet my friends so fucking BAD #like. i cant put it into words but i wanna give them hugs and see their faces when they smile and akdbdn #when is it MY turn to meet my friends irl #my shark

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creatediana · 11 months ago

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"John Donne" - a charcoal imitation of the 1622 Portrait of John Donne at the age of 49 by an unknown artist, drawn 2/26/2024

This is a purposefully rough work; I hadn't drawn a single thing in two weeks since giving up on a personal and difficult drawing I had worked on during January-February. This was done in about 30-to-40 minutes with just willow charcoal; no pencils and very minimal erasing, so somebody doesn't get the privilege of defined eyelids.

#im happy w it for the amount of effort i put in #that last thing i was drawing... oh im mad and upset like crazy again even thinking about it!!! so im not gonna talk abt!!!#im just gonna shut up about it and you should too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#2024 #my drawing #visual art #john donne #charcoal #charcoal drawing #i was just gonna say the last thing was too much effort for how upset i was with it >:( but SHUT UP!!!!!!!#im so unhappy. my dad reminded me of it bc i guess he forgot i told him i quit it two weeks ago #i got super snappy w him but even thinking about it now makes me wanna cry. i've purposefully put it out of my mind #and now thinking about it again has put me in a bad mood when i wasn't before #i need to do more quick practice drawings as opposed high-effort concentrated works #cuz i gotta face it :) im just not that good at drawing :)#what a more skilled artist could do in a few hours takes me days or weeks #im more satisfied too usually w the low-effort works. i guess bc they aren't crushed under the weight of expectation #man FUCK expectations!!!!!!!!!!!#alright i gotta go im in a bad mood goodnight #bitches >:(

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creaturefeaster · 2 years ago

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I see a lot of art of Oxaclock with Ching BUT i also see him with Caela, is he poly or is one of them his ex?

Ching and Caela come down as close friends, and upon meeting quickly fall in love. The infatuation wears off after a while, though, and they end up having more problems than they do things in common. One of the last straws for Caela is Ching's obsession with his newfound host, something she just cannot support.

Ching and Oxaclock are also close friends, and because of Oxaclock's support of his host (among many other things), he then becomes infatuated with Oxy in turn. A true couple? Neither of them admit it. A healthy relationship? Probably also not. But there's definitely something there. Whatever it is, it's very new and exciting for them.

So, not a poly relationship. Caela doesn't like Oxaclock very much. Mimes are not inherently monogamous, if that's something you might be wondering. It's just that honestly, a lot of the main team of mimes don't really vibe with each other very well. A lot of them stick together out of obligation/a sense of duty. They all just came out of an eternal war together, after all.

#if you wanna talk abt polygamy. n&o want twiddle so bad you have no idea #they're indifferent towards jarna but twiddle niddle? that's their bread and butter #aside from each other of course.#twiddle gets fed up with them so quickly tho i don't think it'd ever happen lmfao #brambleramble #sigh....... now im thinking about oxaclock.#i need to draw him more i need to see him more

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel #the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule #and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office #classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a #mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively #i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when #i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an #office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then #when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low #energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its #like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that #i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my #lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to #convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture #of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like #they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha #yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc #i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself #from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode #and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at #like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop #so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd #also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry #bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting #hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that #the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun #unrelated

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caedogeist-rights · 2 years ago

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actually im not done tristamp did alllll the villains so incredibly weirdly. like at the very least vash's redesign fits his character. also im including wolfwood in this for JUST A MOMENT bc hes white!! why!! but. genuinely like. knives? where are his jodhpurs and backstory. kiddo knives is such a good part of the manga where is the Blood Typing i just have a lot of feelings abt Happy Days (volume 7, trimax, 2002). legato is TINY. and like. not pathetic enough but also not big enough??? he's one of three major antagonists he is the reason why plot happens and now hes just.... here???? being basic???? like have we even see him murder yet. elendira,,,, my beloved they made you cis why are you a child. livio is Also Tiny why are all the gung-ho-guns tiny now and his fashion bores me but i do like his hair. livio is genuinely my favorite and i do like him in stamp but i think they are underselling how incredibly deadly this man is. but maybe thats the point! <3 xoxo also fascinating to me that conrad is this important i dont actually hate it but its interesting that the antagonizing is a conrad thing not a legato thing. its technically more realistic to the actual dynamic esp knives's pov but also like.... legato where are you.... why are you so tame..... where is your creature and your coffin and your incredibly horny bloodlust for knives........

the only good ones are monev (its fun ig?), the nebraskas (so long as big mother is in s2) and ZAZIE WHO WAS DONE BETTER. IMO. like obviously different but they/them zazie in dub i cannot get more. bugs cool.

and. of course. the fact that we have not seen arguably the MOST important character is such a loss. midvalley hornfreak where Are you. play us a song music man i want to see you kill