#I THINK OF VAMPIRES AS COMPLEX AND NUANCED HUMAN BEINGS

[danmeichael]

It's equivalent exchange via vampire law, the vampires are very strict in code and conduct. You can't just expect a vampire to eat you without getting something out of it after all, that'd be very disrespectful. You're putting that vampire in real danger by letting them consensually eat you, as it's currently ILLEGAL to do so without a formal form of contract issued by state law and a vampire blood ritual. Also most vampires aren't gonna jump your bones the minute they get a whiff of your blood, that's a harmful stereotype perpetuated by the anti-vampire crowd, most vampires are just trying to go about their business and drinking blood/plasma bag donations handed out by local charity organizations.

"without getting something in exchange" MOTHERFUCKER THEY'RE GETTING A MEAL. THAT'S WHY VAMPIRES BITE PEOPLE. THEY WANT TO EAT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY SUBSIST OFF HUMAN FLESH YOU DON'T WALK INTO A SUBWAY GET YOUR SANDWICH AND THEN ASK IT TO GIVE YOU A FUCKING HANDJOB.

[blueiight]

theres this quote running around from jacob anderson where he talks about how historically black people have been removed from period dramas and how, as suggested by the interviewer (w/ blueiight embellishment ofc), the very few times black charas would show up in these period pieces theyd be side characters delegated to a raceblind narratively incoherent plot to placate an audience ashamed with / of the nuances of blackness. i rly like how he said louis’s character represents both a ‘black and very human story about a vampire… [Black people] do not usually have the opportunity to play such complex and fluent characters’. i think that brings to heart a lot of why this show has my heart, as an armchair historian and r.n. (dont ask what that stands for). u racebent characters in a way that coheres, situate ur black characters in a specific context, and the story never deludes us into thinking the mere existence of an interracial relationship is enough to end racism. in e2 louis literally says “fledgling sounds like slave, dont call me that” and e3 starts with louis telling lestat the history of dismembering runaway enslaved ppl & placing their bodies on the gates of of jackson square.. in his initiation to vampirism, louis is moved from the historically Black creole treme area he grew up in & is placed into lestat’s townhome in the very white, french, old quarter. vampirism as hes initiated into is a loving, powerful, cruel, and isolating existence for louis. bc of vampirism he is able to kill a racist person and not be lynched for it, hes able to echo the historical dismemberment on the alderman by placing his body on the st louis cathedral, but he is unable to kill racist groups & systems that initiate race riots. his connection to claudia in s1 is not so much by the oedipal, but by both their connection as lestat’s fledglings and as Black [creole] people placed in a part of the city largely alien to them both. this connection can be broken down even further. louis saw claudia as his joychild of sorts, ‘[his] redemption’ for his 5 years of pimping but a big part of her tragedy is that a child being made into a vampire cannot redeem anyone, much less redeem an individual from what was a historical inevitability. claudia is adopted into such a stature that she wouldve otherwise never reached by virtue of being made a vampire, but even then that is conditional. claudia is rendered inert from being anyone’s ‘wife’ forever trapped in the confines of immaturity as a ‘daughter’, only hoping at best to be louis’s ‘sister’ and isnt that resonant to bw.. she’s selectively infantilized both a child ‘meddling in the affairs of her parents’ , ungrateful, arrogant, and adultified - presumed powerful enough to ‘poison louis against [lestat]’ , taking on the role of louis’s ‘knight in vengeful white black’ .. the response lestat has to claudia is characterized by him continuing the cycle of abuse he once faced toward her and with a black claudia who was once a poor girl now adopted into this immortal luxury it takes on a racialized element. “bach is beyond you” and claudia bites back with “yes this french music is hmm. not made for these mongrel ears”. the absence of metaphor is striking!! literally the fact that this show does not shy away from the era its set in is why its so good.

[cuntylouis]

"Armand is Alice and Daniel's wife/s and kids aren't real" has become a popular fan theory (even Luke Brandon Field said he liked it!) but i'd be surprised if it was right. I think it's definitely possible that Devil's Minion will be adapted in the show (though probably not exactly like in the books), but i personally think this whole imaginary family thing would be a poor way to handle the storyline for a variety of reasons. I think a twist like that would probably come across convoluted and (as Daniel might say) like something from a telenovela.

We see children's toys in Daniel's house and he's public figure who many people know with an autobiography and everything. Creating decades worth of false memories for Daniel and somehow also maintaining that imaginary life story for decades wouldn't be enough, Armand or whoever did it would also realistically have to have an absurd level of control over the physical world, public records and many other people's minds to sustain an illusion like that. I also frankly think it would be difficult to avoid having some sexist and biphobic undertones to the idea that Daniel's relationships with women were unreal and meaningless and only his relationship with a man matters.

However, the most important reason why i think Daniel's wives and children should be real is that they make him a richer, more nuanced character and are actually central to understanding him and his motives. He has lived a full and complex life that has been influenced and to some extent defined by his encounters with vampires, but those vampires still weren't his whole life. I think it's more interesting to see Daniel's human life and his relationship with Armand and Louis as something connected and overlapping that both affect each other. We actually learn quite a lot about Daniel from what he says about his partners and children.

This scene - as well as how Alice in general is discussed - reminded many people of how Daniel in the books talks about Armand, such as this famous passage:

Parallels between Daniel's relationships with Alice and Armand in the books are obvious but i think they're just that, parallels. Both the sweet little scene where Daniel is talking about Alice's eyebrows and the book scene where he's talking about loving Armand not despite but because he's a monster reflect in different ways who Daniel is as a person; he feels drawn to unconventional and strange and sees beauty where others might not. He ended up in this situation with vampires too because he wanted to interview people who're rejected by the society.

If Daniel already had some sort of relationship with Armand in the past it makes sense that it would be associated with Alice in his mind. There may be an overlap between the timelines of those relationships. A memory of Armand rises when Daniel is reminded of Alice rejecting his marriage proposal, in the books Armand rejected his wish to be turn him into a vampire, which would've been something akin to marriage. I think Alice being real is much more compelling for Armand's character too, with Armand expressing surprising understanding and sympathy toward Daniel's wife rather than just speaking about his own experience through an imaginary woman.

Completely putting aside Devil's Minion and is it a thing in the show or not, i think Daniel's family is particularly important to Louis' and Daniel's relationship. Something that hasn't technically been explicitly said but to me seems obvious is that Louis and Daniel strongly relate to each other as fathers. Many scenes where we see Louis and Daniel show vulnerability in front of each other have something to do with their partners and children. In 1.02 as one of the earliest examples of this Louis replicates the dessert Daniel had with Alice, trying to connect with him and his humanity through it, Daniel shares personal memory and they eat together in companionable silence.

I would argue that Claudia, her memory, and Louis' relationship with her is the heart of the story in these first two seasons. Claudia entering the story in 1.04 marks the shift in the interview and Daniel's approach; he becomes both more combative and more emotionally invested. He has a strong reaction to reading Claudia's diaries, and it's not difficult for any parent to guess that he's also imagining her own daughters in similar circumstances to Claudia.

I think this conversation at the end of the episode (alongside Louis' speech to Daniel in San Francisco and them remembering it in 2.05) is the most important scene between Louis and Daniel. They share the understanding what it feels like to have children and love them so much you don't even have words for it, but still fail them. It's not a coincidence that in the original interview in San Francisco what leads to Louis attacking Daniel is Louis telling the story of Claudia leaving alone and Louis going back to Lestat, and Daniel acting dismissively and clearly not understanding why this is so painful memory to Louis. Daniel was young, stupid and high - and he didn't have children yet. Daniel now wouldn't act like that when hearing this story, and he doesn't in 1.06 when hearing it again. And notably when Louis says that he would now agree to turn Daniel, Daniel says he doesn't want it anymore and specifically mentions his daughters as one of the reasons. Having to watch your children die before you is the most horrifying thing in the world. It's something Louis had to go through and Daniel wishes he never has to, even if vampirism still intrigues him.

Daniel realizes quickly that it all comes down to Louis' feelings of guilt and shame about failing Claudia and his inability to protect her, because he has similar feelings about his own daughters. Louis' story unravels in s1 finale because Daniel recognizes that Louis' more palatable narrative around what happened with Claudia isn't fully true. Daniel carefully read through Claudia's diaries and tried to learn to understand her, and he positions himself as someone who's trying to defend her integrity and reveal the injustice that was done to her. This is again about Daniel's own children as much as it's about Claudia. He knows that he's a bad father, his daughters don't talk to him anymore and it's implied that he neglected them when focusing on other things that interested him more. When Daniel defends Claudia he's on some level trying to rectify his own mistakes and when he calls Louis out he's also voicing his own self-loathing.

Eric Bogosian remarked that the scene in 2.01 where Louis cries and thanks for Daniel for helping him to remember that Claudia could dream is another shift in their dynamic. Daniel looks at Louis with genuine concern, and after that he tones down his usual sarcasm and jabs significantly. Daniel, again, can sympathize with how important this is for Louis. There's a new sincerity and empathy in their interactions. Sometimes the audience forgets that this story is ultimately about Claudia, but Daniel hasn't forgotten it since he first realized it. They're trying to understand together what happened to Louis' child and everything that led to it. I think if Daniel wasn't a father he would've acted differently, and Louis wouldn't have trusted him in the same way either and been able to share his and Claudia's story. I think this shared sorrow, love and guilt they feel as fathers is one of the most crucial parts of their connection.

[see-arcane]

What Jack says about not shrinking from: Killing Mina as promised. "We should neither of us shrink from the task—awful though it be to contemplate. “Euthanasia” is an excellent and a comforting word!"

What Jonathan has said they must not shrink from: Harming humans if they must: "Morris and Godalming and I shall prevent interference, even if we have to use the arms which we shall have ready." and that even if they do attract attention "we must stand or fall by our act" (without spoiling, Quincy would not fatally wound a person even while attacked)

Both of them anticipate the killing of Dracula who has harmed their beloveds. Jack has also talked about killing the Bloofer Lady and Vampire Mina. Vampires only.

There's something so tasty in the contrast here.

Jack is ostensibly 'in the right' in that he wants to harm no living human being, only the Vampires.

(The only two vampires he's been in proximity to for slaying are young women he cares about. One of whom is still alive even as he muses stoically about how nice euthanasia is. A musing that Mina will later literally transcribe for the Document. He put this down knowing it would be read by her. Yes, sure, proof that he would keep his oath...but is it not a bit early for that, Doctor?)

Jonathan is ostensibly courting a stealthy anti-villain role in that he is prepared to harm or kill innocent men in the pursuit of 1) Slaying Dracula and 2) Protecting Mina at all costs.

(He is not oblivious. He is the man who lived with Dracula and his Brides for two months solid and the only man in the group who has had his blood taken directly by the Count. He is the only man in the group who is not watching the clock, waiting to see when it's okay to decapitate and impale the woman he loves. Repeat: He is the only one here not waiting to potentially slaughter Mina Harker if they miss the Dracula window.)

Would Jack not have risked doing violence on Lucy's behalf if it meant the difference between her life and death? What of the others? True, Quincey and Art mean to stand guard on the boat--but what else? How is it they cannot picture taking a stranger's life to stop a monster, but had no trouble swearing murder to the young woman they all supposedly care for? This, when none of them know precisely how her form of vampirism works compared to Lucy's mere undeath?

It's stickier than that, of course. More complex. Finicky moral nuances everywhere. But the bare meager facts are what they are.

Fact: Jack is more prepared to steel himself to destroy Mina than he is to think of doing harm to strangers.

Fact: Jonathan is more prepared to steel himself to attack strangers than he is to even imagine Mina coming to harm.

[honeybubbledivination]

What Does Your Higher Self Want You To Know? ✨🐝

[tw!!. mentions of sexual situations for a pile, mentions of trauma and possibly abusive situations. Please use your own discretion and discernment!!!]

Hey, hey!!! Thank you for your patience for this reading! Honestly, had some procrastination moments and had some things come up, so it took me a little longer than usual! I have a few disclaimers for this one because it gets a little heavy in some of the piles.

Make sure if you are leaving an abusive situation that you are doing things the safe way. I don’t know details of specific situations, but please make sure that you’re doing things in a way that keeps you as safe as you can be. There’s nuance to every situation and I’m not an expert to your life. I’m just a 22 year old young woman on the internet. Reach out to your community for help if you can. Be safe! I am not a professional nor do I offer legal or medical advice! I just interpret cards! Thank you! ✨🐝

[Sacred Light Oracle’ by Anna Stark and Selena Moon are the cards featured below to represent the piles!]

Pile one: Cathedral of Light

Forever & Always - TS TV

Snow On The Beach - TS feat Lana Del Rey

Mamushi - Megan Thee Stallion feat Yuki Chiba

Do I Make You Nervous? - Lilyisthatyou

‘The Wild Unknown: Archetypes’ by Kim Krans: The Vessel, The Self, The Orphan, The Ocean, The Queen, The Bridge, The Box, The Empty Room, The Shadow

‘White Ligh Oracle’ by Alana Fairchild and A. Andrew Gonzalez: Seraph of 963Hz, Tantra of 639

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: 2oP, KoW Rx, KnoW Rx, 6oC, 3oC, 4oS Rx, 6oP, 5oP, 1oC, The Hermit, KnoP, Temperance, The Moon, 3oW, The World, The Star Rx, 3oS, 1oP, The Fool, 4oC, QoW

Welcome to your reading, Pile One! I have an inkling you’re a returning bee! Or, if you’re just seeing this, go check out my other pac readings to see if they resonate with you! I feel light right now you’re a little in your shadow. The energy of the highest self that came to me for this section of the collective is very light and airy, but I can feel the depth under the surface. You may be a water sign or have prominent water placements (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) as well as Libra placements. Also, three, six, and nine may be significant. You’ve been struggling with letting a certain manipulative energy go. I wouldn’t say they’re masculine or feminine because I feel like they’re really just a narcissist and they aren’t aligning with anything specific because that would limit how they can utilize control. They’re manipulative, thinks with the wrong head, and drains your wallet. I see you’re still focused on what could be versus what is. Your shadow is there to protect you and help you blend into ‘darker’ energies, but I don’t feel like I’m talking to someone of ‘dark’ energy or anything like that. You’re not a bad person for being a little spiteful or petty, but your higher self is asking you to let go of this energy that’s holding you back and step into a period of color. Bridge the gap within yourself and realize while being human is complex, respecting yourself is not. One message that stood out to me was from the ‘White Light Oracle’. “This oracle brings a message straight from the Divine to you: Let me love you.” Let your higher self love you. Who cares if you’re single or have to leave friends or family behind? When you have yourself, you’re not alone. You are one person who can’t abandon you, so focus on being creative and getting your bag! I hope this brings the final confirmation that you needed! Be good to yourself and invest in YOU! No more energy vampires, no more wasting time on idiots! Be kind and patient to yourself and find ways to heal and get what you need out of this life! If I pull on this energy again, I better see improvements! (Just kidding, but I really do hope that if you resonate with this and you relate to my previous readings with these themes, I sincerely hope you find peace within yourself and your life. You deserve to be happy and not have to feel like you’re constantly defending yourself and your actions. Especially since you haven’t done anything wrong. 🫶🏻). Please stay safe as for some of you I feel like this situation is really, really toxic. Make sure you have all of your bases covered and move with caution! This isn’t for everyone, but for some of you I felt like you needed to know that you’re seen and heard by God and you’ll get through this with a little tactfulness, faith, and patience. You will get through this! Love and Light, busy bee!!!

- Bunny 💛🍯

Pile Two: Cosmic Gateway

The Prophecy - TS

Slither - Metallica

In Between - Gracie Abrams

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - TS

‘The Wild Unknown: Archetypes’ by Kim Krans: Alethia,The Underworld, The Vision, The Mask, Kairos, The Cave, Gnosis. The Sustainer, The Pilgrim, The Self, The Queen, The King, The Lover, The Kiss, Agape, The Heart, The Flame, The Threshold

‘White Ligh Oracle’ by Alana Fairchild and A. Andrew Gonzalez: Spirit Bear of 396Hz, Dvara Patra

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: 3oS Rx, The tower Rx, the devil rx, 10oS, KoS, PgoP Rx, KnoW rx, The magician Rx, 7oP, 5oS, 8oP, 8oS, 4oP, 2oP, The Wheel of Fortune, 3oC Rx, The Moon, 4oS Rx, QoW, KoP, Judgement, KnoC, Death, The Star

Pile Two! Welcome! This collective’s higher self spoke of overcoming a lot of pain, grief and now coping with loneliness as you navigate a new chapter of your life. I see that you’ve spent a lot of your life being forced to believe that you’re less than what you truly are. You’ve had people come in and out of your life and always assumed that the only common denominator is you, so that means you’re the problem. You aren’t. I wouldn’t say that on a whim because accountability for your actions is the base of being a decent human, but it feels like everytime you mess up you take responsibility for it. You own up to what you’ve done and you try to make amends I see that recently, there was a situation with a longtime friend where you had to finally put your foot down. They were purposefully putting you down and blocking what is rightfully yours (manifestations and things that are divinely yours). Heavy on the leech energy. You may have never been in a relationship or only have had kinda halfway relationships (situationships, friendships with unclear boundaries). Or you just overly romanticize toxic situations and relationships due to your upbringing and have no real concept of a healthy relationship. You’ve spent a lot of your life believing that you’re unlovable, Pile Two. And that’s just not the case. You’ve been able to cut out the bull from people trying to siphon off of your energy and get back to what is really important, you’ll be able to focus on yourself and learn to truly love and uplift yourself. In doing this, you’ll be given what you’ve always wanted. Someone to love you as much as you love them and truly understand you. (All things take work, don’t expect perfection after the first date.) They may remind you a bit of the friend you cut off, but they aren’t here as a test so use your best judgement and work through your triggers! Now, please use discretion and discernment with anything I say about love. You aren’t here to just give love. You’re here to receive it, too. And that includes yourself. You are love, you’re made of it. Embrace the inner beauty and complexities that is your existence and realize that though the journey may have been painful to get where you are now and you may feel more alone than ever, YOU are worth fighting for and the only person that will ALWAYS fight on your team is yourself and whatever deity you follow. It’s good to be cautious and critical of your surroundings, but loosen up and remember to still relax and have fun! Princess/Prince Charming isn’t just gonna knock on your door! I mean… unless they’re a Fed-Ex worker hehe. Just kidding! Lighten up and enjoy life, Pile Two! Your higher self wants you to enjoy your journey from here on out! The storm is over, go find the rainbow! 🌈✨

- Bunny 🍯💛

Pile Three: Violet Fire

Meddle About - Chase Atlantic

Distracted - Honey Revenge

Put You Through Me - Arrows In Action

Caraphernelia - Pierce The Veil

(honorable mention: Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too - Say Anything)

‘The Wild Unknown: Archetypes’ by Kim Krans: The River, The Starborn, The Flame, The Vision, The Underworld, The Unseen, The Hunter, Thanatos, The Shaman, The Mentor, The Storm, Eros

‘White Ligh Oracle’ by Alana Fairchild and A. Andrew Gonzalez: Ivory Wish-Fulfilling Crow, Archon Barbelo

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: 4oW, 1oW, 6oS, 5oW, The Moon, 4oS Rx, 10oC, 4oC, The Sun Rx, The Empress Rx, 3oP, 9oS Rx, KnoW Rx, The World, 10oP, Death, 9oC. KnoP Rx, 8oC, QoP, 1oC, 8oS, 5oC Rx, 3oW Rx

Hey, hey, pile three! You had an emo phase and never left it, didn’t you? (Same hehe) This energy is a bit overwhelmingly sexual, but then once I started pulling more and more I realized you seem to use your sexuality as a front or overly sexualize yourself. But!! This isn’t a bad thing!! It can be really powerful as long as you are remembering that you aren’t just a sexual object. You’re a human being and worthy of respect and tenderness. It’s okay to have a darker aesthetic and be into more ‘taboo’ things (within reason, don’t do gross illegal stuff pals), but you need to remember that you’re allowed to be multifaceted and utilize that unique energy for a multitude of different things! Humans have complexities and you’re allowed to embrace that! Please, please remember to be kind to yourself and don’t use your lifestyle as a way to actively punish yourself! Plus, I hope you’re using that energy to manifest what you want out of this life! It’s potent! Use your energy for fun and I honestly believe you could be a great psychologist or maybe a sex therapist? Something of that sort! Use your knowledge and any kind of pain to help people! (If you’re comfy with that! Everyone’s journey is so vastly different, but I really did feel there was a sweetness to this collective that not very many people get the privilege of knowing because they write you off because you’re too attractive or considered too sexual or whatever. That’s stupid. Everyone has trauma and everyone is supposed to heal. I hope you find more people in your life that get to see another side of you and make you feel genuinely safe enough to ease your guard.) You’re powerful as you are, but just remember to be soft with yourself. You’re worthy of sweetness. Love and Light, little bee!

- Bunny 💛🍯

Pile Four: Light Activation

(You’re The) Devil In Disguise - Elvis Presley

Dial Drunk - Noah Kahan

Bejeweled - TS

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

‘The Wild Unknown: Archetypes’ by Kim Krans: The Threshold, The Hunter, The Judge, The Crone, The Thread, The Destroyer, The Creator, The Shaman, Anima Mundi

‘White Ligh Oracle’ by Alana Fairchild and A. Andrew Gonzalez: Solve Polluti 741 Hz, Spirit Owl of 852 Hz

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: 1oC, 10oC, 10oW, The World, PgoS, 8oW, 3oC Rx, KoW, PgoW, 9oP, 4oP, KnoS Rx, The Moon Rx, The Emperor Rx, 7oP, KoS Rx, The High Priestess Rx

Welcome, Pile Four! I’ve never read for this collective and it was honestly a tougher one! This collective is very secretive and was kind talking in riddles a lot. I had to kinda piece things together like a puzzle! What I got from your higher self is that you’re in a crone era of your life, so you’re probably a bit older and towards the ‘end’ of your life. Meaning, you don’t have those super hard life lessons as much as you used to in the maiden or mother days! You’ve integrated all parts of yourself and you know when to utilize your shadow aspects and your light aspects! Today, I felt like I was supposed to just give you a warning about a potential false guru or prophet. Someone is pretending to be something they aren’t. It may be a group or you’ve known this person from the time they were a child to adulthood. They’re coming out as court-cards swords reversed (King, Knight, and Page as mentioned above.) They could be wishing you harm or trying to do something behind your back to drain you. I do feel like you’ve already pinpointed who this is and you’re well aware of what to do next. Otherwise, there was mention of another young person who seems similar to this swords person. They’re more creative, less vindictive, and have a passionate spark for life (King + Page of Wands), or they might be connected to this person in some way! Like a child or something like that! They’re going to be fine and won’t fall down the same path as the Swords person. This was very specific and I hope whoever’s this is for gets it! Special thanks to your higher self for allowing me to relay the message because they didn’t seem to want to tell me much at first, but I was able to gain some kind of respect from them! I hope you got what you needed for this! See ya around and good health to you! ✨

- Bunny 💛🍯

Bunny’s Note: Thanks for buzzing by for a reading! And thank you to you and your high self for allowing me to peep into your energy to offer some advice to you! I may do a divine feminine reading next! Specifically about shadow work or possibly doing a reading on some entry level shadow work. I’ll brew up some ideas and see what I can figure out! Thank you so much again for all your support and interacting with my posts! It’s means a lot to me!! I hope this post was able to give you the guidance or clarification you need! Love and light, busy bees!! If you’d like to tip me, my ko-fi is below! The minimum donation is $1! No pressure to send anything!

[sailorrhansol]

One in the Grave | 01

❀ Pairing: Vampire!Vernon x Dhampir!Reader (f) 

❀ Summary: Immortal problems require immortal solutions, but you never expected the unlikely help from a vampire lord and the destruction that might come with it. 

❀ Series Word Count: 8,143

❀ Genre: Supernatural, Dystopian,

❀ Type: Unlikely allies to lovers, slow burn, angst, eventual smut

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

❀ Chapter Warnings: My baby girl has PTSD!!! Very much forgetting where she is sometimes and thinking she’s back in The Bad Place, mentions of past torture and abuse (recalls someone breaking her bones over and over), mentions of mind control/compulsion, mentions of murder, gross ass vampires being killed grossly and sometimes the word choice is icky like did I need to use the word sinew? No but I did. A lot of references to Trauma and Being Traumatized, Jeonghan is funny but also diabolical about said Trauma, lots of blood because this is a vampire fic, fight scenes that idk if they make sense, mentions of disease, like hints of mentions of there being like DiRtY bLoOd classism what else… reader hates herself and it’s Saur Obvious. Reader sort of has an accidental terminator setting when she gets too into fighting and goes Sicko Mode and punches through a vampires chest to rip its heart out idk thats kind graphic

❀ A/N: This chapter took me forever to write because I re-wrote sections so many times, but I'm finally happy with where I ended up. I deviated from my outline almost immediately, but this beginning to this story feels more natural than the original! I am so excited to be writing this and to take you on a very dramatic journey through this vampiric, dystopian world.

A/N 2: Huge thank you to the best beta team a girlie can ask for in @daechwitatamic and @eoieopda because without them, so much of this would not make sense.

❀ Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All members of Seventeen are faces and name claims for stories. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios. Moreover, none of my works accurately reflect, represent or take a stance on the nuances of Korean culture, cities, people etc. Seventeen members are not Seventeen culturally, intellectually, physically, or representationally in my stories, and should be considered name and face stand-ins for made up characters.

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I need not fear the dark. I need not fear the pain. In the dark, I was made. In pain, I become anew. I am the Grim. 

Darkness seeps from the damp walls next to you. The air is foul and wet, leaving a sour taste on your tongue, nearly cloying the back of your throat. There’s no part of the Undercity that isn’t dripping with rot. It clings to your boots as you slip through the tunnels, settling on your skin as you turn a corner.

Water drips in several of the tunnels. You can hear the soft splash as the drops hit the puddles, the only sound in the deep dark. You frown - you know you’re not alone. The underground paths leading to the heart of the Undercity might seem empty, but they are never what they appear to be.

On instinct, you take a left. Even in the dark, you can see the general lay of the land, a complex network of abandoned, vampire-made passageways under the city of Black Harbor. The tunnels go farther than the city walls, stretching beneath the human districts in the Tombstones and ending at random stop points in the Wilds. 

Another left and you’ll be heading east toward the coast. Even the old vampires would lose their way in the tunnels - everything looks and smells the same. You’re not one of them, though, and you’ve learned these tunnels by heart. Could navigate them even without your sharp vision. 

A wet step catches your attention. You stop and crouch low, looking ahead. Dark shapes blend together. Even with enhanced vision, you can only see so far in the Undercity, the general darkness blending together. 

But you can hear. 

Another wet step catches your ears. You close your eyes and focus on the sounds. The steady drip drip drip of the pipes brackets the sound of a soft hissing - not hissing. Sniffing. Scenting.

Without wind in the Undercity, you don’t have to worry about the breeze carrying your scent. Still, the things lurking in the dark, especially recently, are better at smelling the difference between what’s alive and what’s dead. You straddle the line between, but you’re alive enough. 

Slowly, your hand reaches up behind your back, grasping the leather handle of your blade. The scenting stops and you hear a soft grinding sound, like teeth gnashing, followed by slow steps. You pull your blade out the rest of the way, twisting it in your hand and taking a slow, deep breath. 

The steps stop for a moment - and then something is running, the wet slap deafening in the silence of the tunnels. You poise yourself, leaning a little forward, ready to throw your weight into your strike. You’ll need to be fast.

Out of the darkness, a loping humanoid shape appears. The Rabid looks more or less human from a distance, but as it gets closer, you see everything wrong with it: crimson eyes as a result of broken blood vessels, bulging veins as a result of swelling before the host died, rows of serrated teeth, and twitching, dislocated limbs.

Nothing about a Rabid is human. Nothing about a Rabid is really a vampire, either. Though they’re a vampire species, they lack the fundamental ability for cognitive function, and are thus only driven by the need to feed insatiably. 

Human-shaped but twisted by post-mortem metamorphosis, whatever person they used to be before Red Fever infected them and killed them is gone. In the place of what used to be a person is a genderless cryptid with muscular, half-rotted bodies and nails like talons. They’re more bedtime story monsters than they are anything else, and you’re running around their home in the dark. 

The feral hunger works in your favor. The Rabid misses on its first swing as you duck, throwing your weight into your thrust as you plunge the sword through the creature’s abdomen. It screams, striking at you again but you’re already moving, keeping your momentum going as you pull the weapon with you, the sucking sound of the blade pulling from its stomach sickening. 

It isn’t the worst sound you’ve heard, and you don’t let it stop you as you spin on your heel, slicing wickedly at the Rabid’s head. It ducks, though, sensing the attack as it scrambles away from you, curling inward as it bleeds from the middle. The wound won’t kill it, but making them bleed is key.

Blood is imperative to a Rabid’s strength. The more blood they’ve ingested recently, the stronger they are. Severing limbs and damaging the heart that pumps blood through the system - or removing it entirely - is important. 

The creature turns to face you again. You spin the blade, point it toward the Rabid and take a wide stance, one foot forward and one foot backward with your weight centered on the back foot. Any other foe with a thinking, calculating sense would try to assess. The Rabid does not, driving forward again with a snarl, jaw extending beyond a normal human’s with the intention to bite down wherever it can. 

Spinning to the side, your sword arm follows your momentum, coming down hard on the back of the Rabid’s neck. You hear the crack of bone as it cuts, your sword carving easily. The head separates from the rest of the body, thudding against the wet floor of the tunnel. 

There’s no time to worry about burning the body yet. More hisses slither up the tunnel and the wet slap of feet rushing toward you is warning enough that other Rabids have been alerted. 

That’s fine. You step away from the slain beast and face the source of the noise, taking your stance again, muscles coiled, heart pounding as your blood rushes. You feel the adrenaline mount, hitting your system like a high, pulse throbbing, focus narrowing.  

Kill. Kill. 

The impulse is fleeting, there and gone again. You grimace and swallow down the instinct to fall into a blind rage. Using bloodlust to fuel your fighting is a side effect of how you’ve been conditioned and taught - one you’re trying to get rid of. It might make you fight better, but it’s hard to escape the undercurrent of the frenzy once you let it pull you under. 

They charge, hissing and snarling as they go. There is nothing planned or in sync about their attack. Rabids may sometimes linger near one another or nest together, but there’s no pack mentality, no strategy to the way they move. It makes it easy to take them down, but easy to get overwhelmed if there are too many.

Three isn’t bad. You cut through them with concise, sharp movements. Fighting Rabids isn’t like fighting sentient creatures. It’s not a dance, but there is a chopping rhythm to it, a hack and step that feels like a pattern as you go. 

Step step slash. Step step stab. Step step duck. Step step slash. 

When it’s done, sweat beads at the back of your neck. Silence falls in the damp passageways of the Undercity. You stand, hardly winded with your sword dripping in ichor, looking down both of the hallways that bracket you on either side. 

Nothing else comes. 

You flick your sword hand, freeing it from some of the gore before digging into one of your pockets, fishing out a small bottle and cloth. Carefully you uncap the bottle and tilt your blade point down, pommel near your face. You squeeze liquid out over the metal, hearing the hiss as the antiseptic eats at the foul blood on the weapon before stoppering and putting it back in your pocket. 

With delicacy, you wipe the cloth on the flat of the blade, cleaning it. Sheathing the blade, you reach into another pocket, pulling out a small tablet of firestarter. You snap it in half and toss it onto the pile of bodies, flames catching immediately. 

The sudden light makes your vision flash white for just a moment before it adjusts. The darkness hovers at the edge of the light like a hungry, creeping thing. In the firelight, you see the dispatched bodies of the dead, once victims to the virus that killed them and turned them into the mindless, frenzied creatures that lurk in the Undercity tunnels and the Wilds. 

Not even the rats come down here. At least, the uninfected ones don’t. Even a rat makes a good meal for the feral creatures of the Undercity. 

There was a time when you would have fed on the rats in the Undercity. A time you were so hungry, you gave into your primal instincts. A time when you were so hungry for love and approval from your master that you would do - and did - anything for it. Giving into bloodlust when fighting and becoming a mindless tool was easy, back then. 

Fresh air greets you as you climb the rusty, iron ladder to the surface. It’s cold outside, autumn wind stinging the sweat on the back of your neck when you finally pull yourself out of the hole and flip the heavy, metal lid over one of many entrances to the Undercity. 

An empty quad of an abandoned school surrounds you, crumbling brick buildings empty save for rotted furniture and dust, walls blown in and cracked from some skirmish during The Fall. The schoolyard grass is overgrown, brushing against your hips as you begin your routine, movements down to a science. 

First, you pull the bottle of antiseptic out of your pocket and clean your hands before pulling out cleaning supplies from your pack. Then, you pull off all your clothes, cool air making the hair on your arms stand on end. The cold gets worse when you begin to wipe your skin with sticky antiseptic pads, tossing them into a pile on the ground as you go. 

The routine is robotic. Disinfect. Take off your clothes. Disinfect. Put on new clothes. Disinfect. Put old clothes in a bio-safe bag to clean them later and burn the wipes. 

Getting the virus isn’t likely for you, but you never take the chance, especially living in the human districts on the outskirts of the city. Red Fever hasn’t plagued the mortal population in a few years, but a single outbreak could make the community collapse.

And the vampires in the city wouldn’t help. They never do, even as those living under their jurisdiction get picked off by Rabids, vampires undermining the law, and other things lurking in the ruins just outside of Black Harbor. 

No blood tax, no protection.

The sentiment makes you grit your teeth as you watch the antiseptic wipes turn to flames, then to embers, then to ashes. You can smell the fumes fade with the wind, along with the sound of a soft footfall. 

You wheel around, unsheathing the weapon at your feet as you spin, pointing the tip of your blade at the figure behind you. Jeonghan seems unphased, looking down the sharp edge of the sword with a lopsided grin. 

“Sloppy, little sister.”

“Oh fuck you.” Your muscles unclench and you spin the weapon, sheathing it. Jeonghan’s hands are in his pockets, eyes twinkling as he watches you. “What do you want?” 

“I can’t check up on you?”

“Not usually, no.”

Jeonghan doesn’t check up on you. At least, not in the way you imagine normal siblings might. Jeonghan isn’t a normal sibling, though. He’s hardly a sibling at all - you share a bloodsire, not a biological parent. Blood kin would be a more apt term for the familial bond between you.

Still, when you think back on your life, Jeonghan has always been there. Fills the corners of your memories as a steady hand, a vicious thorn in your side, a confidant, an enemy, a rival.

“You like visiting the Undercity these days. Perhaps I, too, am nostalgic.” 

“I don’t visit for nostalgia,” you snap. You strap the sword belt across your chest, the weight against your back a great comfort. “Don’t goad me.” 

Jeonghan looks the same as he always has in the last hundred or some odd years. He’d stopped aging - as most dhampirs do - sometime in his thirties. His round, youthful face, and gentle eyes hide the demon within. Hundreds have fallen prey to Jeonghan’s saccharine smile and false, gentle disposition. 

Wolf in lamb’s clothing. 

“You’re no fun. Junhui is so much nicer to me when I visit.”

“Jun is nice to everyone.” 

“Maybe you should take notes. Your neighbors might like you more.” You pause, looking at him with narrowed eyes. His grin spreads. “You think I don’t know where you live?” 

“What do you want?” 

“I need your assistance.” 

“Doubt it.”

“Not everyone is a monster-slaying machine like you are. Some of us actually take the time to enjoy our freedom.”

Freedom. 

A word you don’t quite understand. You might have gotten rid of the master holding your leash, but her influence is still heavy enough to control everything you do, even now. Freedom doesn’t exist for someone like you. Not really. You’re shackled by your inability to make your own choices, and the only things you’re good at are the things Lilith made you learn. 

I need not fear the dark. I need not fear the pain. In the dark, I was made. In pain, I become anew. I am the Grim. 

Most of your life has been spent in the service of killing your blood mother’s enemies, helping her carve her empire out in the world left over from the destruction of humankind. You’d also helped defeat her, but the absolution of ridding the world of her is not nearly enough to wipe out the long list of foul deeds to your name.

“You don’t have to help me.” Jeonghan’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. “However, I do not like the idea of going into a Rabid nest alone.”

“You want my help with a Rabid nest? Why?”

“There’s something inside of the building that a client needs. Some Rabids happen to have made it a home.”

You study him. He’s dressed in all-black dress pants and a black button-up, an equally black blazer thrown on over it. Jeonghan looks the part of casual elegance, a fine piece of art that is out of place in the middle of the abandoned bones of what was once a school, you think.

“Why me?”

“I need a weapon.” His mouth quirks. “Plus, I like you.”

“No, you don’t.” 

“I do! You’re my favorite sister.” 

“I’m the only sister you have that’s still alive.”

He holds up a finger to present his counterargument. “I killed our last sister but I haven’t killed you. If that’s not favoritism, what is?” 

You walk past him, heading toward Black Harbor. “I want half of whatever you’re being paid.”

“Thirty percent.” 

“Thirty-five.”

“Deal.”

Jeonghan catches up to you easily, hands still tucked into his pockets in that casual way of his. His hair is a little longer than you remember, tucked behind his ears as he smiles, happy to have you onboard for whatever it is he’s roped you into. 

It isn’t the first time he’s sought you out for assistance - especially for killing - and you know it won’t be the last. Of all your blood kin, Jeonghan is the one who keeps in contact with you the most. Junhui might be sweet and fond of you, as is his way, but you’re too volatile for him, made to be loved at a distance. 

None of your siblings love you, though. You don’t think any of the children of Lilith have the ability to love. It was bred out of you early and punished if it tried to crawl back in. Even loyalty to anyone but your master in the Undercity was punished. 

Neither of you asks how the other is. Jeonghan won’t answer you honestly and you suspect he knows exactly how you’ve been. The not-so-retired spymaster has a network of little spiders in his web, scrambling back and forth to feed him information on any number of people. 

You wonder if this is what freedom means to him. After living his entire life in the service of your shared sire, Jeonghan seems to have mastered his destiny, using the skills he was taught to climb the ranks among the vampires of Black Harbor and sit pretty. Still, in a way, he’s reverted to old habits just like you have, buying and selling secrets to keep himself safe like he did in the old days.

Maybe freedom is an illusion. 

The blasted landscape around you doesn’t change as you walk eastward. Nameless buildings and road structures spread out in either direction. Cracked, broken, and decayed is an apt description for most things outside of the city, especially the closer you get to the Wild. 

You turn northeast, heading toward the bridge that leads into Black Harbor. It’s roughly an hour's walk directly into the city from the abandoned schoolyard where you entered the Undercity. It isn’t the only entrance to the underground network, nor is it the closest, but it’s the most reliable and you don’t have to worry about anyone sneaking up on you.

Unless they’re a former resident themself, which are in rare numbers. 

“Where is this Rabid nest?” you ask as the night deepens. The cool air kisses the back of your neck and lifts strands of Jeonghan’s inky hair. Above, the moon is swollen and momentarily hidden behind thick clouds. 

“The old museum right outside the West End.” 

You glance sideways at him. “That museum was an epicenter of outbreaks. No wonder there’s a nest.” 

“Good thing we’re immune then, hmm?”

“We’re not immune, Jeonghan. Resistant and immune aren’t the same thing.” 

He shrugs his shoulders. “I survived the disease for two hundred years in the Undercity. And you have your nice little disinfectant wipes, don’t you?” Jeonghan pauses and looks you up and down, pointing at the ashes of your burnt pile. “Why do you do that, by the way? To protect that fragile little human community you live in?”

Yes, you want to say. Instead, you say nothing at all. Jeonghan might be half-human like you, but he has little empathy for them in general, unlike you. He tends to align himself with whoever he benefits the most from, and the humans have certainly never been in a position to help him out. 

Not that they would. Most humans don’t assign a difference between vampires and dhampir. Your human neighbors might tolerate your presence, but it’s just that - tolerance. As soon as they feel threatened by you, they’ll hire someone to try and kill you, as is the way in the Tombstones.  

Jeonghan scoffs. “Glad to see you haven’t lost your sentiment.”

“Rather auspicious for you, wouldn’t you say brother?” 

He grins but doesn’t respond, tilting his head up toward the sky. 

Gravel crunches beneath your feet. You keep a sweeping gaze on the quiet world around you. Crickets quiet as you pass, waiting until you’re out of range before taking up their song again. When the clouds move away from the moon, the world turns grey. 

Nothing disturbs the two of you on your walk. You spot a feral pack of cats with sharp eyes watching from the long grass. You can sense them assessing you, deciding if you’re prey or predator. They remain in their clutch of darkness. Predator, then. 

Jeonghan doesn’t strike up a conversation again as you walk. Instead of trying to get him to divulge details, you go through what you know about the old museum near the West End. It was a hot spot for breakouts early on during The Fall, and after Black Harbor became a city-state, it remained an issue under the jurisdiction of the Chwe family for years. 

A center of resources, it had been targeted early on as humans tried to build communities and safeholds in a rapidly apocalyptic world. The museum has the space to house the  resources, and protection that people brought to form a community, turning it into a quarantine zone at the very start of The Fall. Any building large enough to house a community center had people flocking to build safe zones, eager to recommission the square footage and walls into quarantined housing and living centers.

And they fell just as quickly. 

Disease has no consideration for isolation, though. Particularly one as contagious and debilitating as Red Fever. In most cases, people killed themselves once they realized they had the fever. Suffering through the hemorrhaging and the madness wasn’t worth the small chance of turning into a vampire post-death, and carriers were too dangerous to be kept alive anyway. Accusations of sickness were as deadly as catching the virus itself. 

The museum still remained a problem even after the collapse of its original community. Humans like to stick to what they know, rebuilding on old ground and trying to salvage what was left before them. Perhaps the human communities there could have flourished if the guard in the West End did anything to keep the Rabids and the rogue bands of vampires from decimating them, but anything outside of the official city limits of Black Harbor was only under the jurisdiction of the Chwe family, not the protection.

Those who wanted to be saved had to pay the blood tax, and most people weren’t even eligible for the blood tax, as picky as the vampires were with their qualifications and standards for clean, safe blood. 

Salt tinged the air as you approached the official demarcation line of the Tombstones. It wasn’t an official name, but there was no point in giving it a real name - it was expendable ground, as far as Lord Chwe and his family were concerned. 

Old, rusted piles of metal were pushed to the edges of the pavement to make way for the few operational vehicles that dared to travel outside of the city, creating the illusion that the road was lined by dead, decayed beetles. 

Sounds from the city drift over the water and toward you. Lights in the distance glitter over the wall, skyscrapers bright against the dark swath of sky. The dichotomy between visions of human destruction and vampiric ascension always strikes you, the discordant images the perfect depiction of your two worlds.

“Why don’t you visit Jun anymore?” Jeonghan’s question catches you off guard. You tear your eyes away from the shimmering city to look at the dhampir next to you. His hands are still tucked in his pocket, the picture of cool and casual. 

“I don’t think he wants me to.” 

Jeonghan frowns. “That seems unlikely.” 

“I assumed I reminded him too much of ho- of the Undercity.” 

“I still think of it as home too, sometimes.” You don’t answer for a moment, unsure where the conversation is leading. Jeonghan is a storm of unpredictability, his desires changing direction with the wind. “Is it because you feel guilty?” 

“You ask a lot of questions for someone who wants my help.”

“I’m in the business of asking questions, little sister. Consider it the desire to see my siblings happy. One seems dead set on never shedding the victimhood of her past and one is too afraid to tell his siblings he’s lonely out of fear of rejection.” 

You ignore the barb. “Good. Loneliness is temporary. He’s better off without me around.”

He makes a sound of disgust. “You were always such a self-righteous wretch. Spare me the I have done evil and should avoid the world speech.” 

“You asked me!” 

“I thought after fifty years you might be less insufferable!” He shoots back, taking his hands out of his pocket to throw them up. “I should have known better. Now come on, if you’re so hellbent on living your life in permanent apology, you can come kill these Rabids for me.”

“I’m insufferable?” 

Irritation shoots through you as Jeonghan speeds up, ignoring your question. The wind is stronger near the coast, ripping at the end of his blazer and lifting his hair. You scowl behind him, fists clenching and aching to punch him in the back of the head.

Jeonghan thinks everything is so easy. You’ve never known him to feel things as trivial as guilt or empathy, able to rationalize his way out of feeling a modicum of responsibility for anything he does. 

So why do you help him? You always find yourself asking the same question every time he appears with a task or to poke at you. The answer, you think, is simple enough: he’s a constant. He was there when you were born, he was there when you were molded, and he was there when you suffered. 

Suffered together. 

Despite the way Jeonghan trivializes your grief, there are few people left in the world who can relate to you. Junhui shares the same past, but you don’t know how to face him. Don’t know how to look the gentlest of your siblings in the eye without feeling like you’re reminding him of everything he’s suffered.

And Jeonghan’s presence is comforting, in a way. The familiarity makes you feel easy, though dealing with him is anything but. 

You don’t know whether he feels the same sense of attachment to you or not. You’re unsure most days whether he sticks his nose in your business for the brief familiarity of it or because he considers you an asset to his growing power. 

The latter is the most likely. 

Wind scatters leaves across the pavement. Ahead, the museum looms like a skeleton bathed grey in the night. Somewhere, metal groans and creaks as it moves in the breeze. It makes you think of a phantom moaning, a shiver sliding down your spine as Jeonghan walks straight for the doors of the building. 

The doors to the museum are shattered. Glass and gravel crack beneath Jeonghan’s feet as he climbs the steps and stops just beyond the entryway, his hands tucked into his pocket as he cranes his neck upward to assess the full scope of the building. 

You pause next to him. You inhale again. You don’t get much of a scent on anything but the ocean air, but it doesn’t mean there’s not something deep in the guts of the building. 

“Well?” you ask, looking at Jeonghan. “Do you know where in this building you need to look? It’s pretty large.” 

“Hall of Human Life.”

“That’s… ironic.”

His grin is beatific. “Shall we?” 

As someone who frequents a variety of abandoned buildings, you’ve always been of the opinion that all empty buildings have the same dead, empty feel to them. You’ve long thought that none was more or less creepy than the others, but now you know you were decidedly incorrect. 

There is something haunting about the museum. Evidence of human life is everywhere as you pass destroyed exhibits on life and science, but also sections you can tell were made for the communities that tried to set up here. 

Sections of the building had been remade to house living quarters and even what appears to be a botanical section. Untended, the plant life has consumed the west end of the building, mostly weeds and unuseful vines stretching their fingers across cracked tiled and concrete. 

Your swordhand flexes, ready to reach behind your back at a moment’s notice. You don’t hear or smell Rabids, but you come across the evidence of them soon enough - scattered bones and human carcasses, rotted blood stains on the floors and steps as you descend deeper into the darkness of the building. 

It’s hard to discern what any of the exhibits used to be. Time and civilization have erased all but the bones of each, leaving you to guess what they are as you pass. You’re about to ask Jeonghan if he has any idea where the Hall of Human Life is when you smell it.

“Blood,” you murmur, hand going to your blade and pulling it silent from the sheath. “East.” 

He glances at you and sniffs. “I don’t smell anything.” 

“You aren’t a trained bloodhound.” 

You’d trust Jeonghan if he were profiling someone and detailing every part of their life, psychology and desires. His skill has always been of a manipulation and information collecting sort, not the hunting and stick-a-knife-in-someone sort. 

He follows you silently, slipping a deadly throwing star from his sleeve. You raise a brow. “I’m surprised you're armed.”

“I’m always armed, little sister.”

The sound of something snapping catches your attention and you hold out your hand, stopping him. Even he knows to obey you here. You listen and hear the sounds of crunching. Something breaking. Chewing, you realize. It is the sound of bones being snapped and the grind of teeth. 

For a second, you’re not in the museum anymore. You’re in a dark room, the snap of bone sharp and loud against your ears. The sensation is worse than the sound, though. You feel the bolt of sharp, uncontrolled pain shoot through your leg from your thigh to your hip. It is agonizing, stopping you from thinking of anything else but the outrageous pulse of pain. 

Your hand shoots to your thigh, feeling the phantom pressure of the foot as it fractures your femur again, the sneered voice telling you to stop your screaming as it steps down again, broken bone stabbing-

Jeonghan’s voice startles you. “You’re not there.”

Glancing to the side, you see Jeonghan watching you. His expression is unreadable, dark eyes pinning you to the place you stand. You realize your hand is hovering over your leg and you swear you feel the ghost of pain from the break. From the sound of the snap. 

You don’t remember Jeonghan being there for that. Lilith had ordered Silas to break your bones over and over again. To make you used to the pain. To rebreak them when they healed. If you were ever captured and tortured, you needed to know pain. It needed to be an old friend, not something that could break you. 

Then again, you’re sure Jeonghan’s been broken too. All of your siblings have known the torture of Silas, the perfect tool of to train Lilith’s children to develop no fear against pain. 

There’s a flicker of kinship with Jeonghan until he mutters, “Experience trauma on your own time. I need you focused.”

Right. You’re here to help him do a job for money, not because you’re spending time together bonding as blood kin. When you really think about it, little adventures full of violence are the way you two often bond, even when you were under the thumb of Lilith. 

Instead of shooting an insult at him, you creep forward, knees slightly bent and ready to spring. He follows you, a lithe shadow as you slip into the darkness.

Blood permeates the air in the underground level of the museum. At the foot of an unlit staircase, you step into a lobby of sorts. There are multiple metal, double doors leading into a room beyond. Over the doorway is a broken sign with missing letters: all man Li. 

You snort and Jeonghan gives you a questioning look. You point toward the letters with your sword and whisper, “All man lie. All men lie.”

“Poetic. I suppose it was once Hall of Human Life.” You nod. “Rather inconvenient.” 

Here, the sounds of multiple mouths chewing on flesh is louder. Wetter. You grimace and hope that the victims were dead long before they were dragged back to be made a meal of. Most Rabids won’t bring food back to a nest, too hungry and eager to eat right when they kill.

Blood is heavy in the air. Jeonghan’s nose flares and you know he smells it too. The scent is sweet like mulled wine with a hint of underlying fruit. Human. They always smelled sweet to you, something about them fragrant. A flicker of hunger burns through you and then is snuffed out. You don’t need blood and you don’t want it, especially with no way of knowing where it’s been or who it's from. 

Getting infected doesn’t matter to Rabids. They’ve already suffered Red Fever and died, turning into  mindless, feral vampires. To you, making sure you don’t contaminate yourself will be important, no matter how high your tolerance to the disease is. 

Jeonghan taps his wrist as though he’s wearing a watch. You hold out a hand to tell him to be patient. You don’t know how many Rabids are on the other side of the doors, but from the grunting and amount of blood you can smell, you think it’s at least five. Maybe more. 

Freshly fed Rabids will be a bitch to fight. You’ve never been inside the Hall of Human Life, but you don’t like the idea of walking into the nest blind and trying to fight without knowing how much space you have to fight. You also don’t want to fight where they have access to blood when they need it. 

You settle on an idea, though you don’t like it much. 

“Do you know what you’re looking for?” He doesn’t answer, side eyeing you. “I just need to know how long you think it will take once you’re in the room.” 

“I know what I’m looking for.” 

“Great. Go hide in that far corner by the bathrooms.”

He frowns. “Why - what are you doing?” 

Without a second thought, you bring your free hand up to the sword and run your palm across it. You barely feel the sting of the cut, watching as the blood pools in your palm, welling up. 

Silence. 

Jeonghan realizes it too, bolting from the foot of the stairs to the dark corner of the lobby and into the bathrooms just as the sound of hissing rises up behind the doors. You take a step backward, foot on the bottom stair as you watch the door. You need the Rabids to frenzy and hunt you  - you should be able to make it to the main lobby or outside, giving you room to fight and -

They burst through the doors. You turn on your heel and jump, clearing the steps easily. They’re snarling behind you, tripping over themselves as they chase after the scent of live, fresh blood. 

You squeeze your fist as you go, making sure to keep them on your trail while you tear through the museum the way you came. It has the desired effect, working up the monsters into a violent mania as they close in on you. 

Looking over your shoulder to see how many of them isn’t an option. You just keep running, nearing the front of the museum as you take a corner, skidding as you go. The front doors are just ahead, the moonlit world just beyond. You pump your legs harder, tearing over the concrete floor.

Just as you vault over the threshold of the door, something hits you from the side. The force is jarring, your teeth snapping together in an explosion of pain as you hit the ground, sword slipping from your grasp. You barely manage to avoid cracking your head on concrete.

Instinct takes over. You thrust a hand forward, catching the Rabid by the throat as it gnashes its teeth at you. The others are at the door now, screaming and howling like a savage pack of wolves. Even dazed, you find the sense to throw your weight against the creature, rolling over and throwing it off of you.

Your attacker hits the steps but scrambles back toward you. It doesn’t matter. You only need a moment to roll and collect your discarded sword, swiveling on a knee as it lurches at you. Steel connects with flesh and severs the head easily. 

There’s no time to celebrate. You dive from the stairs, careful not to stab yourself in the stomach as another Rabid swings a clawed hand at you. Panting, you get to your feet, turning to face them as you skip backward toward the street. 

Ten Rabids fan out on the steps, but they pause their attack. You grip your sword, waiting for them to keep the feral pursuit. Instead, they seem to be waiting for something, swiveling their heads and looking around. 

You don’t like that. Rabids don’t hunt in packs, despite sometimes sharing a nest, and the image of them all hesitating together in sync is alarming. Worse, you realize they’re starting to make sounds, an intonation deep in their throat that almost reminds you of frogs in the rain during summer. Their heads pivot, looking at you and then looking at one another as they softly call to one another like they’re… talking. 

A chill runs through you. You’ve never seen them talk before, and certainly not before attacking. They should be in a blood frenzy, killing each other to get to you, even. 

One of them lets out the loudest shriek you’ve ever heard, your ears ringing. You nearly drop your sword in surprise. You take several steps back, suddenly unsure of your situation. 

The Rabids begin to slink down the steps. As they do, a figure appears on the roof, its shadow dark against the brightness of the moon. For a split second you think it might be Jeonghan, but then it leaps, flying over the heads of the skulking Rabids to land only a few feet away from you.

“What the fuck are you?” you mutter, pointing your sword at it. 

And it is an it. You have no idea what it is. The creature looks like a Rabid. It has blotchy skin where the fever bursted capillaries and blood red eyes, but it stands straighter than Rabids, eerily still, regarding you - and there’s a crude sword at its hip. 

You’ve never seen them carry weapons before - they shouldn’t know how to use them. They were named Rabids because they lack the function of their frontal and parietal lobes, making them lesser vampires that can only operate on base animal instinct, driven entirely by the vampiric nature to consume. 

Rabids communicating is alien enough, but carrying a sword? You have no idea if it knows how to use the weapon, but when it unsheathes the sword and takes a stance, you can’t help but feel a tiny pulse of doubt. It uses that moment to attack, striking forward stiffly as though to gut you. 

At the same time, the non-intelligent Rabids attack. Cursing, you dodge the stab and run, trying to put distance between you. The leader stalks after you, weapon in hand; its gait smoother than the broken movements typical of the species but not exactly fast. 

One of the non-intelligent ones gives chase to your flight, giving in to bloodlust. You face it and sidestep easily, bring your sword down on the back of its neck as you do. It cleaves cleanly, blood spraying upward. Two more of them lose their grip on logic and follow suit, only to join their slain nestmate on the ground.

The leader snarls angrily - not at you but at the other Rabids. They chatter and skitter back, letting the one with the sword take charge again, flanking it like they’ve been chastised. 

You keep your weapon pointed at the leader. They attack together again. This time, you’re ready for it, meeting your opponent’s blow. The ring of metal echoes and you feel the force of the hit vibrate down your arm. You don’t let it stop your momentum, leaning to plant a hard kick in one of the other’s chests.

A rib cage cracks. You don’t stop. You duck under a claw and parry another attack, always moving, always fluid. You dispose of another Rabid before blocking another sword swing.

With a growl, you push your weight into the block, surging against the lead Rabid. It’s not a good swordsman, and though its reflexes are better than its wild counterparts, you shove the lead Rabid several feet away from you, tripping it up and sending it careening. You can’t take the opportunity to finish it off as the non-intelligent Rabids press in. Thankfully one gets too close and you cut through its neck.

Something zings past your head, hitting one of the remaining creatures in the throat. It cuts through easily, the body and head falling in separate directions. You turn around to see Jeonghan on the stairs, silver shurikens flashing in his hands. 

“Your friend has a sword,” he calls, looking at the intelligent Rabid and pointing. “How did it get a sword?” 

“Let me ask,” you call back. Some of the Rabids slink toward your brother, splitting up to fight both threats. “Hey, where did you get the sword?”

The lead Rabid doesn’t answer. “He didn’t say!” you shout back to Jeonghan over your shoulder. “Should I ask in Lilin or-”

The lead Rabid cuts you off as it attacks, swinging blindingly fast, grunting as it does. It manages to strike your ribcage, sword too dull to pierce skin but you feel the rupture of blinding pain as it breaks your ribs. A wild shriek of rage escapes your throat as you stumble away from it, gasping. 

Breathing hurts, the stabbing ache stunning you for a second. The Rabid seems to be satisfied - if they can feel at all - and it enrages you. Better creatures and fighters have never landed a blow on you, and a thoughtless creature catching you off guard is…

Shameful. 

If this were another time, you’d have been beaten for this kind of embarrassment. Letting a less skilled opponent get the jump on you because you were joking is unacceptable. The shame quickly gives way to anger. Anger gives way to wrath. Your shaking hands still suddenly, and you feel your rage center your focus to a needle-thin point. 

You’re no longer in the middle of the street fighting a nest of Rabids. Now, you’re in the cold undertow of something you try to never let out, that you try to keep buried down deep within you. 

Kill kill kill.

Metal meets metal. You barely remember lifting your sword to attack, slamming your weapon down into the lead Rabid’s sword so hard that the beast makes a sound of surprise, dancing away from you a few feet. You stride toward it, undeterred, a vice grip on your weapon as you stalk forward. 

Kill kill kill.

Another blow sends your opponent's sword flying. You don’t follow through with your weapon. Instead, you punch forward with your free hand, barely feeling the crack of bone against bone. You break through muscle and sinew, feel the scrape of ribs as your fist bursts through the lead Rabid’s chest. 

Its heart only pulses for a moment in your hand, throbbing faster than your own heartbeat. The lead Rabid doesn’t move, body frozen as the source needed to pump its blood is suddenly gone. It dies on your arm, the deadweight pulling your limb down as you slide it off of you. 

Kill kill kill.

You turn and see Jeonghan fighting admirably despite being outnumbered. You prowl toward the Rabids, hissing and drawing the attention of the ones closest to you as you go. 

You hate them. You want to destroy them. You want to win and kill and-

One leaps at you and you cleave downward. It isn’t an elegant swing, but it’s efficient and strong. Blood wets your skin and you swing again, hearing metal meet flesh. A high-pitched whining rings in your ears. You taste ichor in your mouth but you don’t care, sliding to a knee as you cut through the leg of a Rabid. It goes down and you follow through with the neck. 

Kill kill kill. 

You hack through its neck again. And again and again and again.

Suddenly the Rabid isn’t a Rabid. It’s a cherub face with red painted lips and sleepy, green eyes. It’s apple cheekbones and pearly fangs. It’s silky auburn hair and the smell of sugar and vanilla. 

Lilith. 

You hack again and again and again. 

Kill kill kill. 

If you don’t kill her, she’ll own you forever. It has to be permanent, but making it permanent is so hard. Her command to spare her burns through you, liquid hell in your veins as she says your name, over and over and over, trying to grip your thoughts and -

Someone shouts your name. 

The memory fades. You aren’t killing Lilith and you aren’t in the palace of the Undercity. You’re not a scared little dhampir trying to claw her way free from mind control. But you are covered in blood and your thoughts are a little hazy as you look up, dazed. 

Jeonghan stands a few feet away from you. Right. Jeonghan. Jeonghan is here with you and you are helping him retrieve something from a Rabid nest. You’re not there, you are here. Above ground. And Lilith’s dead.

“Get up,” Jeonghan mutters through clenched teeth. For a second, you think he’s disgusted with you. That he’s realized how deep your inability to control your fear and memories goes. Then he flicks his eyes toward the city. “The West End guard is here.” 

When you turn toward the city, shocked, you realize Jeonghan is right. Members of the city guard loyal to the Chwe family step into the ring of carnage, all six of them quiet and poised. The one at the point is tall and broad, dark hair swept neatly out of his tan face, his hand resting on the hilt of his blade. You’d think he was handsome if didn’t look like he was going to kill you. 

“Well,” the guard chuckles. “Looks like this Rabid frenzied and killed the rest of them before we got here. That makes this easy.”

It takes a moment for his words to register. To lock in what he means. Rabid. They think you’re a Rabid.

“I’m-” your voice is raw and broken. You heave in air and then gasp when it feels like a knife has slipped between your ribs, remembering they’re broken. You immediately fall into a triage routine, regulating your breathing to ensure none of your breaths are too deep or too often. “Not Rabid.”

The guard at the front unsheathes his sword. It’s beautifully made, and you see the Chwe family crest glint on the hilt. “I know a Rabid when I see one.” 

“Really, Mingyu?” a new voice asks, deep and soft. “Have you ever heard a Rabid speak? Then again, they’re apparently wielding swords.” 

A man steps around the guard - Mingyu - and looks you up and down. He’s made up of midnight - dark hair, darker eyes, dark presence, though his skin is smooth and pale as the moon. His mouth quirks to the side and he tilts his head, watching you with mild interest. A lock of dark hair falls into his eyes.

He’s beautiful. It’s your first thought and you immediately hate him for it. Vampires that look like him know what they look like, and they use it to their full advantage. The Undercity was swimming with ethereal faces and diabolical desires. 

“Dhampirs,” the pretty one muses. “Huh. How fascinating.” 

“A dhampir?” Mingyu asks again, face scrunched up and unsure.

“Use that big nose of yours,” one of the other guards taunts Mingyu. “You can smell the blood.”

“Shut up, Chan. I can’t smell anything but that fucking awful cologne you wear.” 

“My cologne is not awful!”

The pretty vampire glances at his bickering guards and then back to you. “You’ll have to excuse the manners.” His eyes dart to your chest and he looks puzzled. “Your heart is beating too fast for a dhampir. Perhaps you are infected.”  

“She’s broken a fair few of her ribs and her wrist.” You look up in surprise, almost having forgotten Jeognhan was there. He is stone still, face unreadable as his gaze darts back and forth between them all. “She also just killed about eight of those things - bit of an adrenaline junky, this one. I’d like to take her to a blood bank to assist with her healing process, if I may, My Lord.”

He would? How Not-Jeonghan of him. Your realization of him using my lord is delayed, the word choice hitting you as the pretty vampire waves his hand. “We’ve got blood; we can treat her. If you don’t mind, we’d like to ask some questions about… well, this. The offer for treatment is contingent that neither of you are infected, of course.” 

Jeonghan’s expression is tight but he bows his head, posture stiff. “Your timing is auspicious and your kindness a welcome gift. You have our most eternal gratitude. We would be happy to answer questions, Lord Chwe.” 

“Vernon,” the vampire says, gaze flickering back to you and darkening a little. “You can call me Vernon.” 

TAG LIST:

@hipsdofangirl @jacixbliss @chronicfic @jespecially @asyre @todorokiskitten

[misscryptidart]

No but actually make me a WWDITS (union) writer because the relationship and social aspects of humans VS vampires is so fucking interesting.

Like, I know the meme of the Baron choose drama over violence in his confrontation with Guillermo, but the side conversation between the two, "vampire to vampire", immediately reads as a different level of intimacy and familiarity that the baron had not shown to Guillermo prior. The respect between the two, the frankness the Baron gives Guillermo, they are portrayed as equals. Perhaps not friends, but equals.

The relationship between familiar and vampire is also displayed in a new context. Nadja, as soon as she found out that Guillermo was turned, immediately began to correct Guillermo's behavior and teach him what little she could ("You can't treat your master like that. That connection is sacred. If he gets killed, you get killed. You treat him with respect."). Being a familiar is not only serving your master, but building that connection with your eventual sire. Its the time where the master is supposed to be preparing their familiar for the complex and nuanced life of vampirism, easing the transition for not only the new fledging but also the risk the sire is taking. To have another vampire, one who has not groomed and taken care of the familiar, turn them is a clear violation of the expectations of the master role. Nandor, by the social contracts of vampirism, was the one to "train" and "prepare" Guillermo for his introduction to the un-living. Derik took that connection and ruined it. No wonder he was so fucking pissed.

I think it lends itself well to the reality that vampires and humans are not equals. Humans live short lives and have a limited world experience, but they are dangerous and clever. Vampires have the gift of endless possibilities and power unlike any others, but they are reliant on the humans for food and must navigate a world that actively works against their nature. Of course they see humanity as "the others", ones who can't ever possibly understand what it means to be a vampire. Of course they are going to be incredibly cautious when allowing one into their world. The running gag of familiars never actually being turned makes a lot more sense when you put in the perspective that vampires are incredibly protective of themselves and those of their inner circle. It also explains why they are so willing to disregard or kill their familiars. They can't understand what it means to be a vampire. They will die anyways. Who cares?

The Staten Island Vampires stand out so distinctly because they choose to integrate themselves into human society earnestly, eager to explore and learn about their neighbors. Not in a malicious manner, such as a wolf in sheep's clothing, but as a genuine "Hey, I'm here. I want to experience this. I want to be apart of this."

Very rarely in vampire media, in my opinion, does it show the vampires attempting to live their lives interwoven with humanity like WWDITS does. Even Twilight, the most modern adaptation of a vampiric story, has the Cullen's act alien and disinterested in the world around them. But the Staten Island Vampires are involved! Laszlo hangs out with Sean with no intentions of feeding from him, Nandor goes to the gym and movies and actively seeks new friendships, Nadja connects with her roots and visits Little Antipaxos! They are people living in a world of other people, and the world feels so full because of that.

I love monsters and mythology and folklore and terrible little creatures so goddamn much

[justmenoworries]

Transformers EarthSpark Season 2 Spoilers

If I had to describe S2A in one word, it would be: Disappointing.

Others have said this before me, but if you were a fan of S1 this most definitely isn't the show for you anymore.

S2A is so far inferior to S1 in every conceivable way. The animation, the characters, the story, it all just feels so half-assed. Every single interesting concept S1 introduced, S2A either mangled beyond belief or flat-out erased from existence.

The few new interesting things that do come up in S2A don't last long and/or are underdeveloped.

Tensions between humans and Cybertronians? Never mentioned. All the racism died with Mandroid and GHOST, I guess.

The Terrans' connection to Quintus Prime? Pfft, you're still on that? It's all about the Quintessons now, keep up nerd!

Starscream's development and start on the road to recovery from trauma? Gone. He's back to being the villain now for no reason whatsoever. He murders two actual children. What, did you think we were still doing that silly nuance thing from S1? Lol, sucks to be you.

The ongoing theme about the Transformer War not being as black and white as history would have people believe? Ummm, ackshually, the Decepticons are inherently evil and irredeemable. The Autobots are saints and have never done anything wrong or questionable, ever. Ignore the prison complex from last season that performed unethical experiments on prisoners of war. Y'know that same one that the Autobots knew about and supplied with Decepticon prisoners.

Spitfire and Aftermath are interesting in theory, but S2A doesn't really do anything with them besides making them the generic Evil Twin characters to Twitch and Jawbreaker respectively. And then Starscream murders them for his evil masterplan, which feels like a colossal waste.

I've been saying since S1 that it would be interesting to have a Terran actually choose the Decepticons over both the Autobots and the Maltos. It would've been a neat way to explore the family dynamic the 'Cons have compared to the Maltos and maybe show that just because a family is different from yours, maybe not as physically affectionate or as instantly harmonious, doesn't mean it's worse. We had a good start with Aftermath and Breakdown but that never really goes anywhere before Starscream does a Fuck Them Kids.

The Decepticons are just evil again now. Great. I guess we're completely throwing the "history isn't black-and-white" thing out of the window, huh? That whole thing where it was implied the Decepticons were rising up against an unjust system a la Aligned continuity and IDW? We kind of had a very significant confrontation between Megatron and Shockwave about that in that one episode that even explicitly referenced IDW? Or how about the whole "This is not freedom" plot line about how mayyybe throwing every Decepticon in the slammer forever might be, just might be, bad? We had a whole episode about that? Soundwave was in it?

Nah, 'Cons are unambiguously evil. Always. Especially that no-good Starscream. "What Dwells Within" and "The Last Hope, Part 2" might as well have never happened, because Starscream sure as hell doesn't act like they did. He barely even interacts with Hashtag. "Come on, did you expect Starscream to be a good guy now?" No bitch, I expected believable character development. I find it hard to believe that the same Starscream who saved Hashtag from the Cybertronian equivalent of a vampire, at risk to his own life, and then told her to take care of herself as a good-bye would just suddenly go back to the same moustache-twirling evilness we'd be expecting from G1 Starscream. You expect me to buy that this guy is the same Starscream as the one who showed up with the entire cavalry to save the world in the S1 finale?? Why go through the trouble of giving Starscream an entire episode going into his trauma and abuse and learning to be better if this is all it amounts to in the end??? At least show us how it happened? What made Starscream suddenly completely regress like that??? I don't know and the way it's going I don't think EarthSpark is all that interested in explaining it.

The Maltos remain a criminally underdeveloped hive mind. And no, I don't consider adding even more powers to their arsenal character development. Robbie and Mo still don't have any friends outside of their siblings and this season did nothing to change my mind on the cybersleeve connection being borderline creepy and making the characters co-dependent. "The Butterfly Effect" basically showed us all the reasons why having your siblings in your head 24/7 with no way to turn it off would actually suck. Cybersynching is so obviously combining with a new coat of paint and it's not even used or utilized that much in this batch.

We did not need the Quintessons in this season. At all. They added nothing except implying that Quintus Prime is shady af. Which, we been knew? The whole of "Prime Time" is literally Quintus torturing a little girl for being upset her big brother is sick and probably dying. If you wanted to explore Quintus through one of his creations seeing him in a much less benevolent light, well, how do I put this? There were two whole new characters added this season you could've done this with. Aftermath and Spitfire not being in the "We Love Quintus Prime" club together with the rest of the Terrans would make sense, since they're far more rebellious and anti-authoritarian. That would've given them something interesting to do besides being minor nuisances to the Delightful Maltos from Down the Lane.

I've heard that EarthSpark isn't doing well both in ratings and in toy sales and after that first batch I can see why.

The show is not all bad, but legit none of these characters are developed enough or distinct enough that I could see a kid wanting a toy of them. And that goes double for older fans.

The writers messed up big time and I honestly don't know if I'm gonna stay and see if they fix it in S2B.

[wanderingblindly]

just read your vampire landoscar and died it was amazing!! but i am so curious - does charles ever realize he was such a shit friend and apologize? does he even know what he did wrong? does oscar hate him so much if he ever does come around? max and oscar interaction/tensions??? the whole time i was so sad for lando cause charles is a horrible friend i was really glad he called his ass out!!

(fic link)

oh my goodness I've genuinely been rambling into a million people's DMs about all the nuances of this fic so THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! One of your questions reminds me of a scene that got cut, so scroll to the bottom to check that out!

Obviously, you're more than entitled to imagine your own answer to these questions. If things are left unsaid,, it's not my place to tell you how to read into it. But in my brain:

Will Charles Ever Change?

Probably not.

Charles is a foil to Lando. He's entirely sure of what he wants, he knows how to get it, he's self-assured, and he's obsessed with power. Because he's compared to where Lando starts in the narrative (introspective, quiet, placating, etc.), it's pretty important that Charles doesn't have the self-awareness to recognize that he's a prick.

In my mind, the relationship completely died that night in the club, and Lando buried it in the café.

But could he grow later?

I think that Max and Charles's relationship is inherently doomed to be mutually destructive. I don't think that they're designed to bring out the best in each other (despite it being implied that they're soulmates -- I suppose soulmates don't always have to be for the better). Because they're so absorbed in each other, I don't think that Charles will ever gain the perspective to understand Lando completely. Meaning he probably won't come around to being a real friend.

What Does Oscar Think About Charles?

I've thought a lot about this, since it's implied that Oscar was definitely... watching... Lando lol. Oscar probably has an immense distrust of Charles, if not just for the fact that he radiates a level of danger that triggers most vampires’ basal instincts.

(if you didn't read Excess -- Charles is almost entirely covered in vampire bites, meaning he should trigger Oscar's fight or flight like no other.)

That said, I also think that Oscar has an understanding that Lando and Charles's relationship is more complex than he can pick apart from the outside. I get the feeling that he wants Lando to be with someone safer -- if not just because he loves him -- but that he'd respect any decision he makes on the matter.

Max and Oscar Vibes?

Max is the type of vampire that Oscar loathes. He's blood-drunk and confident in what he is; Max has embraced the life as a gift (barring sometimes missing human sensations), whereas Oscar views it as a curse. Their perspectives on their eternal life is so fundamentally incompatible that it's unlikely they'd ever get along.

Do I think they'd actually full on fight? No.

But I do think that Oscar would be so tense the entire time they interacted that he could crack his teeth.

Deleted (Incomplete) Scene:

Originally, after the confessional in Oscar's flat, I wanted to keep going. The next scene actually had to do with the state of Charles and Lando's relationship, where we learn that Lando hadn't heard from him -- and that he hadn't reached out, either. We get the impression that the relationship was completely dead, severed.

"I haven't talked to Charles since I told him to leave," Lando says mindlessly, sliding Oscar's cup in front of his usual seat. He grabs it and draws in a deep breath, the memories of caffeine doing little to alleviate the blue under his eyes. "D'you miss him?" Did he really know him well enough to? Lando shrugs. "Y'know how you kinda, like… miss something because it's over, not because you actually wanted it to keep going?" Oscar nods along, eyes fluttering closed – relaxed. "End of an era." "Era makes it sound like a good thing," Lando chuckles, tilting his head when Oscar raises a brow in silent question. "Nothing good about it then? At all?" In the daylight, they slowly peel apart each other's layers, step gently into the shadows they carry. Lando hasn't asked how much Oscar had gleaned about his and Charles's relationship, if he recognized him as a riptide feigning gentleness. The wounds felt too fresh, the mistakes too recent, and yet. "I'm…" He starts uncertainly. Oscar doesn't open his eyes, doesn't move – like waiting for Lando is easy. The years in Charles's orbit feel like a blur, like watching events that happened to someone else. They're a book with ink that fades with each page – starting bold in its desperation, ending weakly in its passive acceptance. "Not good enough to remember," Lando finally answers, and Oscar drops his brow. "I probably wouldn't have been better without him, I guess. Like, I would have ended up somewhere… different but similar, just with someone else. Might as well have been him, if it had to be someone." Need you more than anything else on earth. Because at least Charles sometimes put a word to that cold, lonely spot between Lando's ribs. Or maybe prodded at it like a contusion, dark and hideous and violent. But he saw it all the same. Shaking his head, clearing it away, Lando changes the subject. "What about you? Do you still talk to anyone from…" He trails off, lips frozen around the word: before. Opening his eyes and putting down his cup, Oscar stares down into it. Pensive. But he promised to try. Lando can see the weary determination in the pressed line of his pale lips – maybe the same wherewithal that keeps his fangs tucked safely out of sight. "I text my family, so they don't think anything's wrong." It leaves a lot unsaid. Lando let's the unspoken fill the time and space between them, resting his back against the counter. Until Oscar looks up at him, eyes finding his own like how Lando always imagined coming home should be – easy. "But everyone else, it's…" A sigh, agitated fingers combing through flat hair. "Complicated." He aims for reassuring. "I know," Oscar averts his gaze anyway. "I quit my job." It's that same tone, that same pinched anguish that evokes memories of tears he can no longer shed. "D'you miss it?" "It's all I ever wanted to be, I –" His throat cuts him off, painfully tight. Lando wonders, not for the first time, how beautiful his emotions would be with the flush of life. And he wonders, anew, if Oscar can feel the difference. Shaking, small: "They were so proud of me." Between beats of his bleeding heart, Lando wonders what that feels like. "You're still the same person though," Lando tries, stopping when Oscar buries his face in his hands, elbows propped up on the counter. "'m not." "You are –" Fiery enough to burn, even muffled through his hands: "Would you want a fucking monster to help you?" "Already did." Lando smiles like a gotcha, flashing his wrist for emphasis. Oscar must sense it, peeking between his fingers. "Almost like you're still you, huh?"

[pirateshelly]

Obviously Louis's situation is pitiful but the point is Claudia did not deserve to fall victim to his self-pity. She's made it clear she would have preferred being taken to a hospital or anything else.

All that Louis did to rob her humanity and even then he could never prioritize her the way she deserved as a daughter or sister. It's Claudia's tragedy all the way and Louis did her wrong. They're all complex characters and Louis isn't a villain but he did her wrong.

And I'm absolutely not suggesting that Louis didn't do her wrong, in that particular moment or in others! It's complicated I guess, because yeah, Louis turning a 14 year old girl he didn't even know, without her consent, into a vampire was obviously a terrible thing to do. And Claudia of course had every reason to be angry with him over that!

But I also cannot look at the Claudia of late season 2; Claudia who has lived more of a life than she ever would have otherwise, who has embraced what she is (she genuinely loves being a vampire! Which doesn't negate the fact that it happened against her will, but it still matters), who is looking forward to a future with Madeline; and thinking 'none of this should ever have happened'. Yes there was horror in her life but it wasn't all horror!

And I dislike the way so many takes about how the episode 7 revisit made Louis look worse use that as a way to somewhat absolve Lestat of responsibility. He agreed to turn her, he didn't have to do that but he chose to! And then never took any accountability past that point beyond saying "see look Louis, I told you this was a mistake" every time something went wrong in her life rather than actually helping her in any meaningful way (along with, you know, abusing her and actively making her life worse).

All of these characters are fucked up and flawed but I just think a lot of people were far to eager to assign Louis all of the blame in that situation without any empathy or nuance.

[queeenpersephone]

im very curious what is the bella x carlisle fic

omg bless you for asking me about this because i never get to talk about this fic with anyone!!! okay. i have exactly two long fics i reread religiously once a year, and this is one of them. i will never get enough of it.

the fic is called take this heart. the idea is that 'vampire mates' are a more serious business in this universe, with vampires knowing instantly that they're mated when they see each other the first time (but the instinct usually doesn't appear when one person is still human...). so yeah, carlisle and bella are mates (and esme and edward, which is very cute). it also gives bella a darker past (tw: abuse, read the tags for sure). i think the only thing that would stop a person from reading this is the writer's portrayal of charlie, but if you stick it out, charlie's character arc is so so good. i do think you kinda have to take him as a completely au version (canon charlie is a great dad, and he's really not in this fic), but otherwise:

featuring: an incredibly nuanced portrayal of all the twilight characters. i'm serious. jasper moonlights as a therapist but also his traumatic past is well evident in how he clashes with and protects the cullens. edward is incredible, a great friend to bella, in a way that i think romance kinda ruins the possibility of in canon. also, they do some fake dating and it's very entertaining. jacob is hilarious and complex and throw any love triangle bs out because he is there to be bella's BFF. rosalie is frustrating and justified and vengeful and UGH you just have to read it. alice, esme, and emmett play smaller roles, but they come in clutch in key moments. the quileutes and volturi are around and just better than canon in every way. (chelsea is especially very well explained/portrayed)

bella is flawed, difficult to get close to, genuinely funny, quirky without being annoying which is so hard to write. her journey to happiness after so much tragedy is honestly inspiring, and some of the advice that she gets from the people around her (esp jasper) is seriously applicable irl. she loves carlisle in this way that too big for her human soul and it's achingly perfect.

and carlisle... i can't even tell you. he's not perfect, he can be angry and needy while still being that paradoxical vampire doctor, paragon of goodness guy. he has an incredibly complex relationship with god that i feel like is that one canon scene where he talks to bella in new moon x1000. he loves bella in this beautiful, selfish way that is just really really enjoyable to read.

[ca-suffit]

So, I'm the anon that asked the "how do you rationalize the violence?" question, btw. Thank you for your answer. I personally believe 2x07's version of the events is closer to the truth (I don't think there's a POV that 100% accurate, but I think that's as accurate as it gets about it), but that doesn't excuse Lestat's violence. Louis might have provoked him, but he had just seen Claudia being chocked and stepped in to defend her. I don't blame him for lack of a better word, 'exploding'. I think I would've done worse if I saw my niece, that isn't even my own child, in that situation. And yes, Lestat has gone through a lot of trauma in the books and the show, and people can argue how that and being turned into a vampire shaped his mind and have this aggressive side he might not be proud of, but it doesn't excuse anything. Because Lestat himself caused a lot of trauma in both Claudia's and Louis' lives. I do hope if the show is going with a loustat endgame (haven't read the books, but from what I've heard, they're canon), they're gonna have Lestat using his infinite lifetime to reflect on that, really earn Louis' forgiveness, be the kind of companion he deserves and never even consider doing it again. If it's possible to redeem him. I don't know if it is, but at least they have the "they have all the time in the world to do that" card. I do hope they try it, though, because making this behavior normalized and recurring would be terrible. I just don't know if it will be convincing and satisfying, but I'll wait I guess. I hope the same for Armand too and that they give him and Assad the grace of flashing out the character instead of demonizing him to make Lestat look better. I hope they also know he'll need and deserve more from the narrative than a half-assed apology, because there will definitely be some double standards about Lestat and Armand. There already are. But I struggle with some other stuff too. Because I love Louis, but he's not innocent either. I also don't believe in punitivism and I don't want to be reducing him and feeding into people that want to stereotype and demonize him, but... Claudia really is the only character that has always been inferior in terms of power imbalances in the dynamics of the show. At least among the main characters. If we consider killing people to feed then it's basically useless because they're vampires and not even the human is innocent because Daniel didn't worry about Malik being lunch. I do think it's a good thing for Louis' accountability that he feels regret and remorse for his worst actions, but I don't believe the fandom does the best job at discussing that. Many times it feels like babying the white character, reducing the characters of color into racial stereotypes of abusive, comparing them, ignoring what's convenient to prop their favorite etc. Like one is always traumatized, misunderstood, trustworthy, ashamed, trying to be better and the other is always wrong, unreliable, overdramatic etc. There doesn't seem to be a lot of nuance on people's interpretations and a safe space to discuss the differences of each moment and dynamic without accidentally feeding characters you love to the lions... Anyway, I'm rambling at this point, I don't even know what I was trying to ask lmao. But thanks for the attention and the previous answer.

(context) u can ramble all u want here tbh.

there *are* a lot of questions to explore and this fandom makes it v hard to do it. despite what the racist side would have u believe, ur not going to get attacked for exploring questions. ppl know whether someone's being intentionally racist or not when trying to talk about these characters.

the thing that the fandom isn't understanding (on purpose) is that having black and brown characters have these complex personalities u can explore is a rly good thing?! racists want u to believe that there's topics we can't talk about bcuz of stuff like saying ppl "need" louis to be "a victim," but all that rly says is "I don't want to have empathy for black ppl but I'm gonna say it another way and blame others for it." nobody here is saying louis, claudia, or armand is off limits to exploring, just don't be fucking racist about it! ppl would rather run off and say the fandom is full of bullies who will call u racist instead of...looking at their own biases? half the time nobody is even saying the word "racist," these ppl apply that shit to themselves in a panic. it'd be funny if it wasn't so harmful.

things to ask urself here are....what is ur definition of "redeemable"? where does that belief come from in the first place? a religion? society? both? what is ur own relationship with abuse and trauma? have u explored what codependency looks like in real relationships? do u understand all the emotions behind these things the characters are doing? why is louis feeling regret and remorse important to u?

I think a lot of confusion and anger over the DV is that ppl only know of one response to it and that's to leave forever. a lot of society is built on v black and white thinking with no emphasis on forgiveness or growth. ofc nobody has to interact with anyone they don't want to or "owes" anyone forgiveness or help to rehabilitate and all that, but it doesn't change that the person themselves is capable of growing and changing. we tend to have strict ideas of what "abuser" and "victim" look like and don't realize how quickly those identities can switch on the same people. a lot of abusive behavior is learned from trauma and traumatized ppl tend to form relationships with each other and act just like these vampires do. it's hard to place anyone in single categories bcuz it's a spectrum. this is humanity reflected at us thru vampires.

all of these vampires carry their specific trauma and triggers and are living in ages where none of this even has been put into words yet, plus they're vampires on top of it. their rules *are* different from ours to an extent and a lot of it is bcuz they're also a v small group who is immortal. imagine someone u rly hate for having harmed u badly in some way (mentally and/or physically) and then imagine u knowing ur gonna run into them or hear their thoughts for the rest of eternity. are u supposed to kill them? could u live with that for eternity too? what if they're stronger than u? what if they read ur mind first and kill u instead? it's a lot to forever think about. idk what the show is going to do, but I have faith it'll be satisfying bcuz of knowing AMC's history with writing about traumatized ppl. Television has gotten rly good at writing about abuse and trauma in v nuanced ways. ppl tend to shy away from it tho bcuz they're not ready to confront these things in their own life and so they find an excuse to say it's bad. the racist side cannot get over calling it "shock value" even tho all the violence (physical, emotional, sexual) has been treated with great respect to the audience and characters. u see the violence move thru the characters, affect them for years, and nothing shown of the violence itself is meant to feel cheap and "shocking." these ppl simply do not want to engage so they find a reason to justify why and this story will never make sense to them bcuz of it.

[beevean]

Honestly that callout is the inevitable end of what we already mentioned abt nfcv criticisms:

-Loud annoying fucks make obvious racism fueled criticism of n!Annette

-Fandom considers this to be the sum of nfcv critics

-You n other fellas make criticism of n!Annette based on how her character was adapted, her story arc, interactions, etc

-"You're so racist n misogynistic!!!" Dogpiling

And you did acknowledge the unfair backlash against her in good faith and if ppl had disagreements it could be like "nah i dont agree bc x and i think you're being insensitive abt y bc z". Hell, if i got told i said something insensitive i'd rectify and apologize but nope. You're a bigot now congratulations :/

And (and im gonna get a bit political here sorry for that) forever gonna hate how nocturne made me have to speak abt all the nuances of the french revolution bc it is true that France was and is an imperialistic country w racism issues, but said history and issues can't be reduced into "white men bad, rich bad, 21th century 'murica politics" (specially considering how this is an Usamerican show, aka imperialistic country w racism issues that casually has France's politics on a leash lol)

It's all so annoying I just want a good adaptation of the funny beat up Dracula games

Pd: one of the things i like abt nocturne is her redesign lol. It doesn't has anything to do w the og but it's very good looking👍

Yeah, I knew I would be brushed off as one of those genuinely racist people whose criticism of Annette begins and ends with "MUH POLITICS, MUH WOKE" without knowing shit about history or even being a fan of the games. It's still annoying :V I always, always pointed out that those people exist and they have poisoned the conversation too much. But no, scream to me about how black women deserve to be in fandoms I guess. Yeah, I know. Good thing I didn't target you, isn't it.

And as other people have pointed out in the nothes, NFCV is genuinely all sorts of -ist and -phobic, there was a huge post that blew up about the blatant antisemitic implications of a "vampire cabal" owning all the slaves, so if you really want to play white savior, the show you're defending has plenty of material already :^)

And yes. I know this is going to sound like those MUH WOKE people, but I swear I don't mean it in the same way: Castlevania is not the franchise that should deal with real life politics. Not the games, nor the show. It's about humans vs. vampires. It has always been about human vs. vampires, or any sort of monster. Yes, N!Isaac had a past of slavery, but 1) it was highly historically inaccurate, since NFCV takes place before the Transatlantic Slave Trade and slaves in that area tended to be European, 2) it was still lowkey racist, as if black people can only be slaves, as if Isaac doesn't have already an in-built backstory of being persecuted for his powers, and 3) it was, at the end of the day, an insignificant factor of NFCV's lore. It justified one antagonist's misanthropy. It wasn't the literal core of the show. Nothing about the original show, let alone the damn games, would lead me to think "mmh, I sure would love to see important, complex historical events played out in this setting!".

(N!Annette is very cute, I concur lol. A much better design than N!Isaac. I appreciate that she's dressed in yellow like the original Annette :>)

[francesderwent]

The fact that Damon gets so much shit from the tvd fandom for being into his brother's girl is insane. Stefan hooked up with Katherine after Damon did and Damon even expressed at the beginning that if Stefan wasn't going to chase her he would. Stefan was amused when he commented to Katherine how sad Damon looked about him dancing with her and even attempted to kiss her in front of Damon. The fandom never brings this up about Stefan. Stefan gets away with a lot and even though I try not to hate him his fans are hateful and hypocritical.

what's interesting, anon, is that of the moments you mention of Stefan being sketch as hell, the vast majority of them are in season one (with I think one towards the very beginning of season two?). Damon is arguably a villain for most of season one, but still, that is the period where the brothers' relationship is allowed to stray the most from the black-and-white caricature! season one gives us a very complex picture of Stefan and Damon: Damon does bad stuff and Stefan does good stuff--but Damon has a handle on vampirism and Stefan can't control himself. Damon will throw anyone under the bus, hurt anyone, burn any bridge if it fits into his master plan and gets him what he wants--but Stefan sometimes can't do what needs to be done because he's too busy hand-wringing. Damon pretends to be friendly and then accidentally makes real friends of all his enemies--Stefan pretends to want to "be brothers again" even though he wants nothing more than to never see Damon again. and of course: Stefan forced Damon into vampirism, and all of Damon's vindictiveness is masking the wound of the humanity he didn't, in the end, choose to give up.

and I wasn't really a part of the fandom, ever, didn't watch the show until it was done airing, so I don't know if half the fandom was always incapable of seeing that complexity and admitting Stefan's shadowier side. but what's fascinating to me is that after a while, the show itself becomes incapable of seeing the complexity. season 4 and after, especially, all the nuance leaks out of the Salvatore relationship. and I didn't hate Stefan in the first couple seasons! but I do kind of hate him in season 4, while he and Caroline are acting like he's never done a thing wrong in his unlife and Damon is evil incarnate for *checks notes* dancing with Elena at a party??

I don't know if the fandom retrospectively applies the later seasons' view of Stefan to the whole show, or if the show eventually just adopted the fandom's view of Stefan, but it sucks that the Salvatore hypocrisy gets enshrined in the show, especially because any discussion of the "brother's girl, and all" issue in season four should have been much more nuanced, not less. because in season four we know that Elena met Damon first! she met him first and that changed everything!!

[mask131]

I really do not get the logic of so-called "haters".

*talk endlessly about how they hate a piece of media, about how the story is insufferable, how the characters are nauseating, how they refuse to support the creator in any way, how it is an offense to humanity that should not exist in the first place*

All the while...

*constantly making redesigns of the characters, constantly writing "correct-fics" of the story, prove by their very long and complex analysis of the piece they clearly know as much about it as a hardcore fan, kept posting updates and follows-ups every time a new episode/movie/chapter/book comes out, and just can't stop talking about it*

If you are a true hater, someone who is indeed versed in the sacred art of hating things - then you just don't interact with the thing, unless it is with a ten-foot-long pole and once every blue moon. True haters are repelled by the thing they hate like vampires by holy garlic ; they don't all start buzzing and flying aroun the thing like angry moths around a narrative flame.

These people are NOT haters. They are "anti-fans", and I think the nuance should be brought up more often as the term "haters" get too broadly used.

Think about it. These people follow the pieces of media they hate, they know and study every little detail, they keep making fan-art and fanfics of it... just like fans. Except they do it all while constantly insulting, disdaining or spitting bile onto the very piece of fiction they actually clearly obsess over.

There is an art to hating, my dears. And this is not hating. This is just being a fan, but taking it by the other end. Fans are those who make a specific piece of fiction one of the centers of life - nobody talked about the way to do that...

[hibari-draws]

Sorry in advance, but I don’t have a therapist and I need to let this out somewhere.

tw fantasy racism

Please don’t come at me for this take, my intention isn’t to attack anyone. I know that media, fandom, and fanworks are not real life, etc. but serve as a microcosm of irl… My opinions don’t represent those of all poc.

I feel slightly uncomfortable with fantasy racism/speciesism allegories that try and emulate real-world discrimination but always fall flat bc it’s ordinary white ppl being mean to white ppl with vampire fangs or mermaid tails or green hair or ridiculous superpowers, all the while human poc are nonexistent, caricatures, OR exist in the story but the shit they go through is vastly glossed over by the writers as well as readers (they’ll literally be enslaved or be forced out of their home and the fan base will not give af about them!!). Some of these portrayals and fanworks will try to dig deeper and address topics such as micro/macroaggressions, which I appreciate, but it either feels hamfisted (making up racial slurs) or sacrifices nuance (I like the complexity of model minority and internalized racism because it hits closer to home, yk?). I think SOME ppl like to engage with such stories to play at progressivism without examining their own real-world biases against marginalized groups. Since this is to be expected with the demographics of fandom, I don’t take it too personally 🙃

I still believe that fantasy racism can be executed in a way that doesn’t sideline poc characters btw- I’m not totally against it.

There’s also something to be said about comparing groups with vast intrinsic differences (different species, magical powers) to actual minorities or immigrants, but I’m not awake enough to express why that feels off to me.

oh and the idea of there being obligate evil races (e.g. orcs) bothers me so so much 🥲

Again, I apologize if this makes anyone feel defensive and thanks for reading orz