#I Say Mamamoo: The Best

[heizelnutlatte]

📷 RBW_MAMAMOO

Mamamoo - I Say Mamamoo: The Best, 2021

[koishua]

growing up on diff kpop gens with my younger sister this is wild bc her le sserafim/nwjns/illit/kiof was my snsd/aoa/apink/girls' day/exid/gfriend/rv :( 4th/5th gen vs 2nd/3rd gen have CRAZY different energies it's fascinating

[svt-nari]

nari's love life !

nari started dating after they debuted. It was obviously against the company rules, but what were they gonna do about it? kick her out? she's pansexual and so far, has only dated people with the same life as her (idols), because they can understand each other's schedules and make it work better than with someone who's not a part of this life. right now, she's currently in a relationship with a male idol.

2015–2016 › seulgi, red velvet

— their friendship started when nari ended up confessing her undying love for red velvet's main dancer on a live.

— may I add... while she was completely wasted.

— she was saying how much she loved watching the older woman dance and how much talented she was.

— then, seulgi approached her on a music show the next day.

— didn't really date, but they were tied to one another, if you get what i mean.

— a sort of fwb kind of relationship.

— then nari confessed.

— and they decided to not keep on with this relationship.

— and then, nari was left heartbroken, but at least they are still friends.

— they joke about it from time to time.

2016–2017 › jayb, got7

— they were friends way before they started dating.

— nari met him because of her friendship with got7's maknae line and ended up befriending him due to bambam introducing them.

— started dating because jaebeom showed her a song he wrote for her, confessing the feelings he had.

— it also became a part of one of got7's albums.

— dated for almost 9 months then they broke up.

— she had a really good time with him and can't really complain, same as him.

— he wrote various songs for her just as she has written lots of songs about him.

— remain as friends and they support each other til this day.

2017 › wheein, mamamoo

— after her break up with jaebeom, she wanted to date women again.

— didn't go so well.

— her and wheein were friends for a long time before they dated.

— but they couldn't really understand each other and talk while they were together.

— the relationship ended after three months.

— and their friendship too.

— both parties don't really speak to each other anymore.

— it's awkward at gatherings when they are both there.

— nari tries to avoid wheein at all costs.

2018–2020 › baekhyun, exo

— got close because of a collaboration they did together.

— started dating after a couple months of knowing each other.

— their relationship consisted of spending quality time with each other.

— her first ever long-term relationship and her first public relationship.

— they dated for 2 and a half months until they broke up.

— happened during the pandemic, they slowly distanced themselves.

— especially due to their different life rhythms at the time.

— then nari broke up with him after a fight they had.

— he was devastated and literally tried to gain her back at all costs.

— going as far as posting some cryptic stuff on his social media.

— hinting that he missed someone so much that he thought his heart was going to stop beating.

— and then deleting right after.

— he still loves her, but she moved on.

— and for good.

obs.: some speculate that the album bambi has something to do with nari.

2021–present › seungcheol, seventeen

— okay, how to start?

— they've been friends since forever, basically.

— cheol has had the biggest crush on her ever since they met, but he didn't do anything due to their teamwork.

— he supported her through her every relationship, and she's forever grateful for that.

— nari takes great care of him. she just wants what's best for this boy!

— they started dating after a drunk confession on cheol's side.

— she was a bit hesitant at the start, but she knew that what they had was way more than just a friendship.

— then, after overthinking she just said fuck it and kissed him.

— all the members LOVE to tease coups for it.

— they NEVER will tease nari because of their relationship.

— just their big and scary leader who turns into the biggest softie whenever he sees her face.

— they've thought about going public but decided on letting people find out by themselves.

— which is slowly working since they don't really hide much.

— they've been together for a long time now and expect them to be like this forever!

all rights reserved © svt-nari, 2023

[fymoonbyul]

231013 whee_inthemood instagram update (trans): Moonbyul: Wheein ah, no matter what others say, you're still the best Hope that you'll have an awesome promotion!! If anyone dares to touch MAMAMOO’s 3rd child, the 3 of us will glare at them for you kekekekeke Even though you're promoting as a solo now But you have a home with all of us right! Even though there will be tiring times during promotions, you’re feeling a little tired now in order to have good things happen to you! With that thought in mind, wake up well in the morning kekek That's the scariest thing during promotion period 😅 I hope that you'll wear my one pick (costume)🙏🏻 Sleep well and do well at music bank tomorrow! 🫶🏻💪🏻 Wheein: Thank you unnie, really I had a difficult time with many things But when I'm really happy when I see unnie I wanted to lean on you and I've missed you I think I was overwhelmed with emotions to the point where I've teared up You really gave me lots of strength Unnie you must've been tired and felt exhausted I hope that you'll not have lots of stress while you're on tour and I hope that you'll have fun I love you unnie~ ❤️‍🔥 Moonbyul reposted: Both of us cried, lol. If someone else had seen us, they would have called us crazy 😭🤭

[zonaenthusiast]

Which kpop group do I think suit every mugiwara the best? And would they be a boy group or a girl group stan?

This is because yesterday I had a specific revelation and I started thinking about it in general, so here are my ideas:

Luffy as Seventeen

Luffy has been one of the ones I've had to think about the most but then it occurred to me that he would really like Seventeen. They have a very fresh and fun concept in general that really suits Luffy and they are one of the very few groups that, despite being together for almost ten years, have never lost members. And that's even stranger considering there are so many of them. They love each other as much as the mugiwara love each other and Luffy would adore them (get it?) for that.

Bg or gg stan? Both.

Zoro as The Boyz

For Zoro I have come up with several groups that could fit very well with him like Ateez or Stray Kids, but I have ended up opting for The Boyz because there is a very specific homoerotic component in their music that very few groups are able to replicate. The bisexual energy they give off reminds me too much of Zoro not to choose them.

Bg or gg stan? Both, but their concept has to be dark.

Nami as (G)I-DLE

This is the revelation I had after listening to Gidle's new song, Nami would fucking love them. Just pure female representation and empowerment. Gidle's last three comebacks (Tomboy/Nxde/Queencard) are three different representations of how a woman can express her femininity and all are valid (Nami in particular is so Queencard coded and Robin would be more Nxde coded, I think).

Bg or gg stan? I think she would like some bgs but she would be mostly a gg stan.

Usopp as EXO

NOW HEAR ME OUT because I know this one sounds weird, but I think Usopp would love Exo's storytelling. The clone lore? He would eat that shit up. Besides, I don't know why but I think Usopp wouldn't listen to just anything and Exo is one of the most talented groups there is, so...

I think Usopp would like groups that focus on storytelling or have very defined concepts, Vixx would be another option that I think fits him very well.

Bg or gg stan? Both.

Sanji as Girl's Generation

This one was also very clear to me. Sanji would listen to ggs exclusively and I feel that only the most iconic gg would be the right choice for him. He would be so Yoona biased. And he is one of those who would know her choreographies to perfection.

Bg or gg stan? As I said, gg stan exclusively.

Chopper as GFRIEND

My main pick for Chopper is Gfriend because the powerful innocence concept they are known for reminds me a lot of him. I think StayC or fromis_9 concepts also fit him very well.

Bg or gg stan? Both.

Robin as Red Velvet

I don't know how to explain this but if you know about Red Velvet concepts you know I'm right. There's something so unique and peculiar about their music that matches every part of Robin's taste and personality. Red Velvet are the epitome of one of my favorite kpop concepts, which I call cute but murderous. Just watch their Russian Roulette mv and you will understand.

Robin would write a fucking essay on why everyone is wrong and Zimzalabim is actually the best kpop song ever.

Bg or gg stan? Both, as long as their music is the strangest succession of sounds you've ever heard in your life.

Franky as Monsta X

Just himbos, I don't have anything else to say.

Bg or gg stan? I think he would tend to listen to bgs a little bit more, but both regardless.

Brook as Dreamcatcher

Oh, I just know Brook would love Dreamcatcher. Women? Check. Rock style? Check. Horror concept? Check. They are perfect for him, it makes so much sense.

Bg or gg stan? Not as exclusively as Sanji because music is music, but gg stan.

Jinbe as MAMAMOO

Jinbe would love every Mamamoo member's unhinged personality as much as he loves Luffy's. He would have so much fun with them and their concepts and their music, it's a strong feeling I have.

Bg or gg stan? Both.

[onwriting-hrarby]

respectful thoughts on concept vs aesthetic in the new kpop generation

[disclaimer: this is a very light opinion article about kpop. i am not dissing any groups mentioned, since i love them all, and i'm straying from bringing any negativity. the fact that i don't like some of the music these groups make doesn't mean i can't acknowledge their hard work. often, my critique falls to the managements.]

so, these last few weeks we've had some 3rd generation comebacks in the kpop community and some debuts and other well-known comebacks for the newer generations. but, mostly, i'm going to talk about how music in kpop has been westernalized to the point of becoming mostly generic, forgetting what made kpop since the beginning: concept.

the reason why i like 2nd and 3rd generation the most in kpop is not because of the music, dance or vocals, although i admit it irks me a lot that nowadays most idols won't sing live (like, ever), but because i think it's the pinnacle of concepts vs aesthetics.

what is concept and what is aeshetic: red velvet

let's take my amazing girls, red velvet, my favourite group, and their last comeback. when the teasers were released, we all thought we were going to go "velvet", this time (although i hope we would go red, and i have an inkling we would go red velvet). but the gloominess of the pictures, the elegance, the way they seemed out of the museum strayed a little bit further from the quirkiness of birthday and they felt more serious, much like "peekaboo" concept pictures or even "feel my rhythm's".

when the song released, we were all surprised. we love it, as we normally do with red velvet, but the problem with the main public was that their expectation of the concept of the pictures didn't correlate with the actual concept of the song.

and that's because the teasers were nothing but aesthetics. the aesthetic was dark but the concept was "red velvet". when the idea of the whole paraphernalia around the song doesn't link with the music of the song, we are not talking about a concept but about a aesthetic. a concept is cohesive in the ways we think the song: from the notes, the rhythm, to the message, the pictures, the way we promote it. aesthetic is taking what we feel "looks good" and putting it into a concept that doesn't need it. aesthetics don't tell a story, concepts do.

it doesn't mean that chill kill wasn't a good album or a good comeback. it means that it was at fault since the beginning, because we were waiting to be told a story how red velvet does, from the music itself, while it felt like they were telling it from the pictures.

(that is also what has happened with the lastest comeback of nct dream).

almost all of the 3rd generation groups, and mainly girlgroups, debuted with a clear concept: red velvet (red and velvet concept), mamamoo ("live" concept), girlfriend (kind of 'magical' sphere), blackpink, dreamcatcher, loona, and i feel like this is being left behind to accomodate more "aesthetics", and music —kpop— feels less genuine. that's why i'm not feeling very tied to the kpop sphere anymore: it's all about consumption.

bts and the consumption of kpop

i love bts, and i'm a long time bangtan fan since they debuted, but i am confident in saying that after "fake love" (maybe let's stretch to "idol") their music wasn't as striking. it wasn't that they didn't have a good production, or didn't do their best, or weren't at their best ("black swan" is still amazing in all senses, for example, and works perfectly as a song), but i think it's because they were "westernalized" in the concept vs aesthetics idea. while before bts used to have a clear concept, not only of what they meant as a group and wanted to tell, but also later as it migrated to the trilogy of "love yourself", after they hit it big in 2019 they started confusing, to my opinion, the concept with the aesthetic: they didn't do albums for the sake of telling a story or concept anymore, but for the sake of milking the cow (not the boys' fault). don't get me wrong: mots 7 still had a clear concept in the CD, but it didn't feel as whole as a BTS project anymore. rm even said something along the lines of "we have to stop because we have lost sight of what we're doing".

that's because in the west we're not used to concepts but to aesthetics: the music is not cohesive with a preestablished idea of storytelling, but with the artist. most of the bands and soloists don't change the music style as to what music their storytelling needs but to what their personal needs as an artist do. take taylor swift, for example: every cd is different, but it's cohesive in what taylor swift does. as a long taylor swift fan too, when we got from "speak now" to "red" we were utterly confused, because that's when she began changing her aesthetic, and therefore, her music, but because the concept was "taylor swift", it was still recognizable. she's not the first one: it also happened with the beatles, "revolver" being the first album to truly differ from the others, only to completely change their music with "sgt pepper's". ariana grande changes aesthetics, but her music is mostly cohesive throughout, so does billie eilish, lorde, dua lipa. we would refer to it as having a "music style".

with bts, they found a huge market in the west. it wasn't the only incursion in kpop: after bts and blackpink, twice did, too, and we also had the jopping and popping of the sm super group—which, come on, it didn't land of obvious reasons—and we have aespa, gidle, and more. but bts was the first group to hit it BIG. we will all probably remember exo, red velvet, dreamcatcher and gfriend being ultra famous overseas, but not like bts and blackpink are.

BTS started changing their music around that time. the comebacks after 2019 didn't feel cohesive with what BTS was in their roots. "boy with luv" is a pop song that took us by surprise. "on" didn't land as well as black swan even though i personally love it. "be" didn't have a clear storytelling (or maybe a pandemic storytelling, too soon, imo). the most flagrant cases of BTS losing their concept to the aesthetic was "dynamite" and "butter", but mostly "butter": when "dynamite" was out, it made our summer. it was truly AMAZING. it couldn't get better. it felt like the song we needed, and it should have won the grammy. but it didn't, so they tried to replicate the same song with butter. really: listen to it. it uses the same rhythm, structure, the same "catchyness", and mostly, the same aesthetic.

blackpink, while we can criticize about the quality of their songs and how they use the same structure too—almost to a boring, predictable result—stood true to their concept since the beginning. if we hadn't been used to BTS management of concepts, we would have found that "butter" and "dynamite" worked well in the same way "how you like that" and "kill this love" too. but blackpink always played more with the "music style" than the concept, because when you repeat a concept over and over, not only in storytelling but also the musical creation, it become your signature music (to the point of a meme, almost).

but since BTS started changing and having their much deserved fame, look what happened to other hype groups: txt released their "disco" blue hour, tried to fit it into their concept (imo, they didn't do it very well). gfriend released "mago", while it's a good song it strays too far from the gfriend we were used to (and no: apple wasn't an incursion to far away lands. it still sounded 'magical', just like gfriend did). seventeen did something similar, too. the playfulness of the 70s/80s spread without regarding the groups unique concepts.

sm stood true to themselves: they had already made songs with "disco" (shinee, 'look' by red velvet...) and in contraposition they tried to westernize the concept of NCT. it hasn't worked, because no male group will ever be BTS, even though i believe exo could have had a huge chance only if they had appeared two years after. jyp went into hybe's direction, but kept it true to their group's concepts (itzy didn't sound the same as twice or stay kids). yg wasn't in their best moments as a business, then.

with bts in the west, the whole point of kpop and 3rd generation shifted: they aren't marketing songs aligned to the concept anymore, but to the aesthetic of the song. twice concept had started radically changing with "fancy" and "cry for me", but now it feels like they are just recycling their music over and over (also because twice concept, in the ageist era we live, is difficult to maintain once the members get old.) nct is a mess, trying to have catchy lyrics that utterly don't make any sense. gidle's english songs pale in comparison to the amazing songs in korean. aespa and itzy's english comebacks haven't hit is big. it feels as if there's a "line" that one has to cross to go to the west, which is leaving all your uniqueness of your concept back in korea to make it. and only bts and blackpink have mastered this (even though "the feels" by twice was a big success). [disclaimer: when i talk about success or failure i'm not talking about numbers, but about quality of the song.]

the case of gidle, stay c and aespa

those four groups are, to me, the ones that have maintained their concept all along. i don't talk about boygroups of the 4th generation because i'm not very familiar with them, but let me tell you about discovering gidle and aespa, and then stay c and new jeans:

gidle: they are a strange case, because they don't have a clear concept. that's because their concept, just like red velvet, changes every comeback while maintaining a concept identity. when gidle debuted, i named them the "red velvet daughters" and they still have to fail me in that sense. they are truly versatile, and it feels like they can do any concept they like while maintaining an identity, even with the loss of soojin.

aespa: when they debuted, i was utterly... scared. i didn't know what sm was pulling, and everyone celebrated them as the 4th gen leaders (when itzy was still doing the best numbers). i knew they weren't going to be, because they would stick to the concept. they are still one of the best artists in the 4th generation girlgroup space, and incredibly succesful, but ive has had more sellings, for example. but: numbers doesn't prove quality. ive's music, although very good, feels like there are other groups that could make it. while aespa's music feels unique to aespa. aespa has stayed so true to their concept much like blackpink does (i truly suffered with girls, because i was demaning a slight concept change, i was getting bored) and i think it's safe to say that the kind of music they do is very impactful, always experimental, like what sm pulls best. aespa will have a longetivity that itzy doesn't have (damn, i love itzy so much) just because sm has understood aespa's concept, while jyp still has to grasp what itzy is truly doing. and if itzy gets it right, aespa and itzy will become iconic to their eras.

stay c: now, my girls. truly underrated! stay c is the reencarnation of old bubbly kpop. they are consistent, both with their concept, aesthetic and music. you don't get the feeling that they release for big masses, even if all kpop does generally. they know what they do as a group and they do it incredibly well while staying true to their concept. they have twice producer and it shows because it definitely has a feel of the early twice. they sing well, they dance well, they cooperate. they are a fully fledge group with a mission and a storytelling.

before moving to illit, the case of newjeans

now, newjeans is known to be one of the best debuts in all kpop history, and i personally have listened to their first EP a hundred times, and "ditto" is one of my favourite kpop songs ever. and the reason why they are so successful is because of min hee jin (we can hate her, but come on, she's fucking good in her job): she's a master of concepts. and new jeans had a CLEAR concept. youthful, bubbly, lovely, catchy.

but it's not going to last, i'm afraid. they are impactful and they will make numbers but i truly think that they won't be as legendary as everyone has made it to be and that's because they've taken the same bts route, but far too early. FAR TOO EARLY. their last EP may have a concept as an EP but it feels somehow disconnected to what new jeans represented the first summer. i don't think they should stick to one concept forever—they would encounter the same problems as twice—but they have changed it too quickly without giving it time to properly experiment all the layers of it. differently from gidle or red velvet, which established themselves as truly versatile from the beginning, new jeans have strayed from their path soon enough but not far enough. their songs feel catered to the commodification of content, now, and frankly, almost all of the songs in their last EP, while experimental (and i love it) sound too cohesive, to the point that you listen to the EP while not paying any attention and it might go over your head. their voices' tone, too, which were part of the concept of "youthful girls" are too similar to each other, which makes it difficult to grasp a turning point in the song. you can have same hair, same clothes, but you shouldn't have the same voices and songs over and over.

and that's why groups like illit have debuted now with much success:

ILLIT and the depersonalization of kpop

illit is, to me, the most flagrant cases of confusion between concept and aesthetic and how kpop is shifting nowadays. of course, i have done my research: i've listened to the album, watched most of the "live" performances. and while doing so, as someone who doesn't have a clue why this group was formed (as will do the 80% of the people who first listens to illit), i thought: oh, this is new jeans.

NO, i'm not saying they are the same or they are copying the girls. it's not illit's fault, as it's not all the groups i have been mentioning (the fault is capitalism): but their debut song sounds too much like new jeans, the 2nd ep. they have the same long hair. same youthfulness. and i thought, oh, well, alright. new jeans 2, it's good. it's okay.

UNLESS! i read that they were going for the "magical" concept. truly?, really? are they... magical? they have magical appearances, fairy-like, the dresses are magical, the way they move is truly magnetic (get the pun?), but their music is not.

and that's the fault of what we've been living with the last kpop nowadays: music is concept-less. they live for the aesthetic of the music, but the music feels generic in itself. because it is not unique to what the group wants to cater. they do what's selling, and try to mask it as something original, while it is not. aesthetic is not the same as concept: someone who dresses like dark academia and brings their books to a fancy library and takes pictures doesn't mean they are living for a concept. they are living for the aesthetic because they like it, but the way they experience the aesthetic will be the same as the other people, because there is only one aesthetic.

aesthetic happens when there's empty concepts, while concepts happen when one thinks about the aesthetic, embodies it to a way of turning it over and make their own thing about it.

[raspberrylix]

(some) KnB characters and their favorite kpop acts

After seeing a post by @imalwaysinconfusion, I could not stop thinking about the characters and the type of music they would listen to, as music is very cool and event more important to me as knb. But then my recent expertise lies mainly in kpop so this the post. All credits for the idea go to them, hope me doing this is okay :] Most of these are based on vibes and vibes alone

Akashi Seijūrō

(Honestly I’m having a hard time with him, so many signals and yet nothing I could understand, great start)

BIBI

Day6

Midorima Shintarō

Shinee + gg (taemin bias)

Him and Kise have a similar taste but it’d say Midorima is more chill (but don’t come across him on twt during yet another fanwar)

Kise Ryōta

Loona

Itzy

NewJeans

Jeon Somi (when I think of fast forward, I see Kise, why is that?)

XG

He’s either the most nicest person you can meet at the concert or he won’t be afraid to drop kick someone from being a bg stan, the line is very thin

Aomine Daiki

Ateez(!!!)

MonstaX

P1Harmony

Stray Kids (with this I’m really not sure, but he’d love megaverse and side effects for sure)

Murasakibara Atsuchi

Xdinary Heroes

Ateez (Mura would love FOB -> mingi loves FOB -> I love both ATZ and FOB with mingi being my bias-> dots are connected)

Either Woodz or Gaho or both but both of those might be too light for him

Dreamcatcher (feels like Himuro’s influence)

Kuroko Tetsuya

Day6 (wonpil bias, won’t elaborate)

DPR, DPR LIVE in particular

Hoody

Dean, heavy on him

Kagami Taiga

Stray Kids

iKON

bold shot, but somehow, I feel like he would like BlackPink a lot

epik high

Woodz

Kiyoshi Teppei

Seventeen

GOT7

Red Velvet, heavy on Red Velvet

T-ARA, KARA

TEEN TOP, B.A.P, Block B, VIXX, basically all the best from early-mid 3rd gen

he's the chill type and would get along with everyone, despite their music taste and would try to learn about one's favorite artists, if he doesn't know them. he also misses how back in the day idols would interact between groups

Hyūga Junpei

Kard

SuperM

Cheetah

Rolling Quartz <3

he just likes badass people, dunno

Izuki Shun, aka a man with perfect taste

DPR IAN

J-hope

BIBI

Jamie (!)

Koganei Shinji

Xikers, definitely xikers

Billlie

5th gen stan for sure

Takao Kazunari

NCT all units

Riize (maybe)

SM gg

Basically I see him as a huge SM stan

Sakurai Ryō

Lucy

Onewe

AKMU

Himuro Tatsuya

The Rose

Tablo

Woodz

Dreamcatcher

Aida Riko

Yezi

AleXa

G-(i)dle

Mamamoo

(i just think she's very cool and would love cool woman of kpop)

Momoi Statsuki

Nmixx

TXT

enhypen

Oriwara Shigehiro

NCT dream

Riize, big fan of riize, totally has mastered play a guitar move

was this post just me assigning my own favorite artists to these characters, thus making a situation where they had to be my bffs? mayhaps. but i had a lot of fun

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

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Ch. 27: Forward

Between hurting, crying, and cursing, Hyeri came to the conclusion that the few things she initially threw in her bag weren’t enough. While she had Yoongi locked out she packed more things expecting to be away for a while. She isn’t exactly sure how long she’ll be gone, but she wanted to make sure she was prepared.

One of her best friends and former bandmate, Haeun agreed to let Hyeri stay with her as long as she needs. Haeun is gearing up for a season of a new reality show where she will be a dance mentor for a group of young dancers looking for a big break and a spot in a music video with Mamamoo. Until the show starts shooting, she’s ready to give her maknae Hyeri her undivided attention to help heal the hurt she’s going through.

Yoongi has spent the better part of the past two hours pacing back and forth in the living room. Occasionally he’ll stop to cry, then he’ll resume pacing the floor. His heart is shattered but he knows Hyeri’s heart is in much worse shape. He hates that she doesn’t want him to find her, but he understands it. He hates that she left at all, but he understands it.

“FUCK!!!” He cries.

Silence.

Tears.

Silence.

“Hyeri,” he cries into his phone where he’s managed to start recording a voice message to her. “I’m so sorry. Please. Please tell me what I can do to make this better. I know I hurt you and I’ll live the rest of my life in misery knowing that I hurt the one person who means more to me than myself. I know you don’t want me to find you, but I just want to know you’re safe. That’s all. I deserve all of this. I fucked everything up. I hurt you so much more than you ever hurt me. I’m so fucking stupid for doing that. Please just let me know you’re safe. Talk to me. I want to talk to you. Please. When you’re ready. I love you so much, Na Hyeri. Whatever you want, tell me. I’ll give you everything you ask for. Just…please come home. Let me fix this.”

Hyeri wouldn’t normally check her phone so often while she’s on set, but today is an exception for the sake of her anxiety. She asked her manager to alert her if there are any damaging reports that come out about her being seen leaving her and Yoongi’s shared apartment. She’s been caught in one media frenzy after another and she’ll be damned if she gets caught up in another one because of Yoongi’s bullshit. Especially while she’s currently working on this drama that could possibly change her entire acting career. As soon as anything comes up about herself she wants to know so she can have it shut down quickly.

During one of her many phone breaks she sees the voice message Yoongi left her. She stares at it a moment contemplating whether she should listen to it or not. She’s still very upset and in no mood to hear anything he has to say right now. Despite that, there’s still a part of her that wants to hear it. She wants to hear his voice. She wants to know if he sounds remorseful. Of course he always does when he’s begging for her forgiveness. He always sounds like he’s using his last breath to keep her alive. Like his life would be over if she left him. But that’s why she can’t listen to his message. She knows the moment she hears his voice her heart will weaken and she’ll find herself ducking through a mob of paparazzi again to return home to him. She has to be strong this time for her own healing. She wishes she hadn’t spent most of the time while he was gone pretending like she had completely forgiven him. She could have used that time to truly heal instead. Now she’s trying to stay focused on giving a top tier performance while she’s completely broken inside.

In the meantime, the members have been trying to keep Yoongi’s spirits up. They’ve seen everything being said about him, even things Yoongi hasn’t seen himself. They know he’s having a hard time but they try to assure him things will be ok. Yoongi hasn’t responded to any of their calls or texts so far because he’s not sure what he could even say to them. Their schedules are being changed around because he’s stuck at home until the crowd of media vultures dissipate. It’s exactly the thing he didn’t want to happen. Everything he didn’t want to happen is happening and it’s all making him nauseous.

The entire day is quickly slipping away from Yoongi and he barely realizes it. He feels like he’s done a lot though he’s hardly done anything other than panic, cry, and curse, but now finally he’s managed to pull out his book and start reading to try calming his mind. The only thing that pulls him out of it is a call from Namjoon. Hoping he has information on where Hyeri is, Yoongi quickly answers.

“How are you holding up?” Namjoon asks when Yoongi picks up.

“What kind of question is that?” Yoongi huffs.

“I know, but I was calling to tell you that you don’t have to be stuck at home anymore. Manager Dojoon can come pick you up and make sure you’re not seen. We’re still working on rescheduling things, but at least you can get out.” Namjoon is trying to sound enthusiastic, but he knows that’s not the biggest thing on Yoongi’s mind right now.

“Great,” Yoongi says dryly. “At least I’ll be able to work instead of losing my mind alone.”

“That’s the spirit!” Namjoon jokes. “But really though, I know it’s hard but try to keep your head up. Everything is being taken care of.”

“Have you heard from her?”

“Hyung,” Namjoon sighs. “She’s safe.”

“You know where she is?” Yoongi asks with his desperation rising.

“No,” Namjoon says through his teeth.

Namjoon has been trying to remain a supportive neutral party when it comes to Yoongi and Hyeri’s relationship. He feels like the middle child who only wants to make sure the family doesn’t fall apart. It’s tough because like Yoongi he wants to protect Hyeri, he just wants to know where she is. He thinks she’s terrible with communication and thinking for herself at times and he wants to talk sense into her, but she wants to remain distant because she doesn’t want Namjoon telling Yoongi anything, which hurts him. On the other hand, he is one more damaging rumor away from strangling Yoongi. So far 3 people have claimed to have been intimate with Yoongi over the course of their tour. Whether they’re telling the truth or not doesn’t matter, because just knowing Yoongi was with anyone at all other than Hyeri is upsetting to him. Still, he’s trying his best to remain neutral. His absolute best.

“She won’t tell me where she is because she doesn’t want me to tell you,” Namjoon adds.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi remorsefully says. “To you. To her. To Jin, Hoba, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkookie, all of you, I’m so sorry. I’m trying so hard to make things better but I keep getting pushed back by the shit I got into in the past.”

“I know, hyung,” Namjoon says softly. He knows Yoongi well enough to know he’s sincere and there’s no question in his mind of it, but he still hurts. Yoongi’s actions have caused a lot of problems and it seems like they’re going to get worse before they get better.

“Help me,” Yoongi pleads. “Help me make things right. I’ll do anything.” He pauses. “Help me get her back.”

“Everyone is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow,” Namjoon says ignoring Yoongi’s plea for Hyeri.

“Namjoon…”

“Hyung I can’t get into this,” Namjoon sighs. “When it comes to Rainbow I can’t. You have to do this on your own. As far as me and the rest of the members, we’re excited to have you back. We always miss you and just want you to be happy and healthy, you know that.”

“I know. I lo-“ Yoongi’s breath hitches. “I love you, all of you guys. I’ll spend my life making this right I swear.”

“She just needs time and space. I can’t tell you how to fix things, but…give her the time she needs.”

“I understand. It’s…so hard, Namjoon.”

“It’s hard for everyone.”

“I’m so sorry,” Yoongi repeats. “I was such a different person then. I was so stupid.”

“What’s done is done, hyung. You can’t fix things if you’re still beating yourself up about all of your mistakes. You can’t take them back, you know that, so look forward. I can’t lie and say none of us have been hurt or upset because of the things you’ve done, but it’s done. We know you’re sorry, we’ve accepted your apology and forgiven you, we just want our family back together. That’s all. Focus on what you can do now. Hyeri will come around in her own time and whatever she decides to do next is up to her, but you can’t rush her healing process.” Namjoon hates being so close to both of them because he feels like he hurts twice as much because of it.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi says softly. His eyes are welling with tears and he’s fighting really hard to keep them from falling. “I’m so grateful for you. You are the best leader, friend, and brother. Thank you.”

Everything Namjoon said is what Yoongi needed to hear to guide him away from his cycle of grief and regret. Yoongi already knows all of this. He knows he can only focus on what he can do and he knows forgiveness is something that takes time and he can’t force it. It’s a journey for every individual to get through in their own way. For whatever reason, it never occurred to Yoongi to apply this knowledge to his current situation. It’s easy to know something, but hard to tell yourself when you need to hear it most.

Yoongi doesn’t know what he’d do without his brothers. Namjoon sparked a new light within him to focus on the future, starting with responding to the ignored messages from them all. He apologized to each one individually and expressed how much he loves them. He vows to do better and that he’s eternally thankful for their love and support. He then sends a message to Hyeri. He doesn’t expect her to respond, she didn’t respond to his voice message so he’s sure she’s ignoring him, but he sends the message anyway. There’s nothing more he can say that he hasn’t already said to her, so he keeps it simple.

[Yoongi]: From now on I will do everything I can to make sure you never question my love for you again. I love you.

Hyeri sees Yoongi’s message as she’s about to leave the set for the night. She still can’t get herself to listen to the voice message he left, and considering how her heart skipped a beat at his text, she knows it’s for the best.

With Haeun, Hyeri feels comfortable enough to share all of her feelings that she’s going through. They’re best friends and have been through a lot together. Haeun is always a direct yet considerate person. No one ever has to guess what her feelings are about any situation, but she has a way of softening her words for Hyeri. Sometimes being too blunt can upset Hyeri, so Haeun makes sure to not cross that line.

Hyeri tells Haeun everything that’s been going on. Months of heartache and pain come spilling out of her for the first time. Every single feeling of pain she tried to ignore, every moment she thought she had forgiven Yoongi, every time she really really wished she did forgive him, it all came barreling towards Haeun as she poured Hyeri a glass of wine. She knew there were problems between Hyeri and Yoongi but she didn’t know to what extent. The more Hyeri speaks the more Haeun realizes she hasn’t had anyone to talk to for support. It’s clear Yoongi is that for her, but when he’s the problem Hyeri feels she has nowhere to go so she holds it in and tries to handle it on her own, which clearly hasn’t been doing her any good.

Haeun encourages Hyeri to let go of everything she’s feeling, then makes Hyeri promise she won’t hold things in like this again. Haeun is supportive and also tells Hyeri that she needs to be honest with herself first and foremost. Only she will know if she can work past Yoongi’s infidelity and find trust in him again, not sometimes but all the time. Haeun reminds Hyeri that she can stay as long as she needs, but she knows how much Hyeri loves Yoongi and she encourages her to listen to her heart.

It all seems like fairytale advice to Hyeri in the moment. Of course she should listen to her heart, but is listening to her heart supposed to hurt this much? Her heart is what had her thinking she forgave Yoongi when she hadn’t. Is listening to her heart really the best advice? She’s thankful that Haeun will let her stay at her place as long as it takes her to figure it out because she thinks it will certainly take some time.

Yoongi was picked up and taken to the company building the next day just as Namjoon said. Manager Dojoon let him know that there was something that needed to be taken care of before Yoongi could head off to his studio.

A drug test.

Yoongi thinks it’s absolutely fucking absurd that he has to take a drug test. He thought they would know better than to believe random people spreading rumors online, but due to his previously hidden alcoholism they just wanted to be sure before releasing a statement and taking legal action against those spearheading the drug rumors. It’s annoying but Yoongi complies knowing he has nothing to hide and knowing he’s the reason for this in the first place. After embarrassingly handing over a cup of his urine to the person administering the drug test, Yoongi retreats to his studio hoping to not be seen the rest of the day.

A couple of hours into working, Hobi comes by to check in on Yoongi. He can tell Yoongi hasn’t had much sleep, but other than that he looks fine on the outside. Hobi doesn’t want to get into things that may bring the mood down, so he only discusses music. Their new songs, plans for promo appearances on various shows, things of that nature. Yoongi knows that’s what he’s doing and he’s thankful for it. They go over lyrics, give feedback on a few mixes, and talk about how excited they are for this album. Yoongi apologizes for causing their schedules to be rearranged but Hobi assures him it’s not a big deal. Truthfully Hobi enjoyed the unexpected rest this created so he instead thanks Yoongi for that with his contagious laughter.

After talking to Namjoon and now Hobi, Yoongi feels a bit lighter. The others have only sent texts so far, but he can still feel their forgiveness and support. The guys have each gone through their own process of forgiving Yoongi over time, building their trust back isn’t easy, but everyone is on the mend. Yoongi is happy, he just wishes he could have one more person’s forgiveness.

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 2: submission

mamamoo/mamamoo+ 1.3k words gender neutral reader insert Reader x Kim Yongsun (Solar) x Moon Byulyi (Moonbyul) suggestive/SFW

🖤 warnings: simplified and unspecific depiction of the feeling of subspace, mostly banter and smooching tbh🖤

kinktober masterlist

connect with me! / masterlist

It's her usual farewell, when she's the only one leaving.

"Be good for Byulie!"

A joke, mostly. As if you'd ever dream of being less than kind, less than polite to your roommate's best friend.

Byul practically lives at your place, actually. Why Yongsun doesn't just cut her losses and let her best friend move in, rather than renting the spare room in her condo out to randoms like you, you'll never understand.

You'd asked, once, and Yongsun had just pouted. "I could never live with Byulie full time. Ew. Anyway, what, you don't want to live with me?!"

And the conversation ended there. Because, of course, you love living with Yongsun. It's like having an overbearing babysitter, sometimes, but usually it's just like...like student housing in college, a little. Like having someone a little older to look out for you while still being a friend, a peer. Yongsun is cool like that.

Even now, when she's going to the grocery store to buy the two ingredients missing for dinner tonight, leaving you alone with your as-good-as-housemate and instructions, as always, to be good.

Byul says what you're thinking, once the front door is shut behind Yongsun, leaving the two of you alone in the evening sunlight.

"You're always good for me."

"I'm always good," you amend, aiming for teasing.

"Then I'm not special?" Byul replies, without missing a beat. "Damn."

It's among the most that you've ever talked one-on-one with her, honestly, in those three complete sentences. She's pretty quiet unless Yongsun is there filling in the gaps. It makes her come across as silent and cool, even though Yongsun insists she's just shy.

Still silent and cool, to you.

"You're pretty special."

It was meant to stay in your head, but considering how Byul is looking at you, it must have come right out your mouth, instead.

Byul's smile is gentle, as always. "Glad you think so."

There's something in her eyes, though.

You're not stupid, and you're certainly not unaware. You know what Byul - and Yongsun - looks like. Her silky hair, her pretty cheekbones, her ridiculous abs. Byul is pretty much the hottest person you've ever met, aside from Yongsun. That two pretty best friends guy from TikTok would have a conniption if he saw them.

You'd be stupid if you didn't have a crush on at least one of them.

"You're so cute."

Byul's voice breaks you out of your reverie. Her slim fingers pinching your cheek gently makes you break out in goosebumps.

"Like a little bunny," she adds. "Why so scared?"

It's just Byul, your roommate's best friend, but something feels different.

"I'm not scared," you say.

She laughs. She moves closer to you, sliding over the couch cushions until she's right next to you, rather than a seat and a half away.

"Nervous, then. I don't bite, little bunny."

Byul looks more like a bunny than you do. Yongsun, too. The two of them, two rabbits, all cheeks and cute straight teeth. All they need are whiskers and little white tails.

That feels like a dangerous thought.

"I know you don't," you say.

Byul nudges you with her elbow. "Well. Not unless you like that."

You cannot for the life of your figure out why, but it seems like Byul is flirting with you.

There was a time, when you first moved into the condo with Yongsun, that you'd thought the two of them were dating. Byul and Yongsun. They're certainly close enough, touchy enough, intimate enough. But they'd both said that wasn't something they wanted. They laughed at you for suggesting it.

Even still, sometimes, there's...something, between them. A hint of something.

Or maybe you're projecting.

"Am I reading things totally wrong?" Byul asks.

For the hundredth time, you feel like you've been knocked over. "Reading...what?"

"You - do you not...like me?"

"I like you," you answer, floored, hurried.

But Byul shakes her head. "I just thought I was getting the vibe like you liked me. Liked me. But if not, then I'm sorry, I-"

"No, no!"

What are you doing? What is she doing?

"No what?" she asks carefully.

"Don't apologize."

"If I crossed a line, then-"

"Of course, I like you," you clarify, your synapses finally firing correctly.

Byul looks at you significantly. "I wasn't sure if - I mean, I asked Yong, before, a while ago, if you and her ever...anything, if there was anything, and she said no, but that doesn't mean that maybe you don't want-"

"I like Yongsun. And I like you," you cut in flatly.

She looks at you even closer, and then, that smile is back. That something in her eyes is back tenfold.

"How much?"

The strangeness just keeps coming. "What?"

"How much?" she repeats.

Byul's fingers are back on your cheek, turning you gently to face her. Her other hand is firm on your shoulder.

"This much?"

You nod. Byul's grin deepens.

She leans into your space, catlike grace. She's easing you onto your back, against the arm of the couch, before you even know it. Your brain is cotton candy, fuzzy and light.

"This much?"

"Yeah."

It's golden hour. The sunlight against Byul's dark hair is warm and soft, and you feel just the same inside. Slightly melted candy. Pulled taffy.

Whatever she wants sounds good to you. You like her so much.

"Hey, they didn't have the usual one so I got this really weird-looking Pulmone dupe - oh."

Yongsun, back from the store, is holding a reusable shopping bag in one hand, and a container of flour in the other. She's also wearing an unreadable expression, big expressive eyes uniquely void of her usual open emotion.

You can't even imagine what this scene looks like to her. Her best friend and her roommate. If your head wasn't full of dandelion fluff right now, you'd be running away to the next county.

"Wow. You really took that to heart, didn't you? Huh."

That's all she says about that.

She takes the flour, and walks away to the kitchen, saying something about the freezer being too full. You're not listening.

You can't be expected to listen to anything when Byul is kissing you, dragging her wonderfully soft fingers down your throat to rest on the juncture of your collarbones. It's possessive, and it makes those dandelion seeds bloom, floating away and leaving you just...

"I'm surprised it took this long, honestly."

Yongsun again. Byul pulls back, giving you a glimpse of Yongsun leaning over the back of the couch, just watching. Her warm blonde hair falls around her face, and you blink up at her, dazed.

"Yong," you say.

You never call her by the nickname, no matter how often she says it's okay. Her eyes widen, impossibly, and she laughs her loud full-bodied laugh.

"Yeah?"

"Yong," you say again, fidgeting a little under Byul.

Somehow, you've ended up with Byul between your spread legs. Not that you mind. It's just a little bit exposed, more than a little revealing. You're sure she can tell how excited you are, how interested in the goings-on.

"This little bunny told me something very interesting," Byul says, conversational.

"More interesting than having a crush on you?" Yongsun quirks an eyebrow.

"Try, also having a crush on you."

You want to hide your face in embarrassment. You try, hands flying up to cover your burning cheeks, but Yongsun brushes them away. She's not using much strength, but she's firm, and the firmness itself is enough. You drop your hands limply to either side of your head.

"Both of us?" Yongsun says interestedly.

"If - I mean, if..." you trail.

"It's more than okay," says Byul.

Yongsun nods. "You just have to do one thing."

Anything, for her. You nod eagerly.

But the request is simple. One you hear all the time. Usually as a joke. Or, you thought it was a joke. Now you're not so sure.

"Be good."

[be-lis-mamamoo]

Life is so crazy.

I started this Tumblr account in 2017, the year I discovered Mamamoo.

Gangnam Style came out in 2012 and was my first Kpop song ever.

And now, this wonderful woman from my all time favorite music group joins Pnation who's CEO is the first ever Korean artist I listened to.

It's been 11 years ever since I started to listen to Kpop. And I know it sounds so cliché and cringe, but thanks to this hobby I found so many new friendships, I found my partner thanks to Mamamoo, I found so much joy, love and happiness.

Music changed my life. And music changed Hwasa's life. I only wish her the best from the depths of my heart.

It was always hard for me to understand why people adore their celebrities so much but with Mamamoo I finally understood what attracts them. Being a Mamamoo fan for so many years has been such a great commitment and I still find joy in seeing those women grow.

I'll be forever grateful for what they've brought me. For all the happiness, the love and joy, I say thank you Mamamoo. Thank you Hwasa.

Let's not be afraid of storms anymore

[sasquaye]

I like groups where all the members are virtually unknown until the debut of the whole group.

Because then the members grow together, have chemistry together, and their entire group gets popular as a whole. Stray Kids had their show, but I'm pretty sure that was all of their first real appearances publicly and it was as a group. Similarly, Ateez and xikers wers introduced as KQFellaz first TOGETHER and none of them had debuted publicly before that (I use debut as in first public appearance because even pre-debut work is public and exposes them to the public). Other groups I see like this are Mamamoo, Twice, Nmixx, Seventeen, New Jeans, BTS, TXT, etc. (There are more but I can't think rn 💀)

Contrarily, there are groups that have members who already started their careers in the industry OR became public figured through shows. Examples of this are literally all groups formed by competition shows like R U Next, Boy's Planet, Produce 101, etc. In those shows, INDIVIDUAL trainees get popularity before official debut, and then the group at the end, despite varying degrees of popularity, have to debut together. It's a concept that makes sense, but in reality it creates more competition between members than there should be because some of these idols have significantly more popularity than their members right off the bat.

This is not always the case for the group RIGHT after their first official debut, but when their group disband and they redebut into another group, I think that's SO unfair and weird for the new members of those idols' new groups. It's like they're moving to a new building that they don't have to build while the new members of their new groups build that building from the ground up because they can't afford to just "move to a new building". Examples of groups like this are Iz*one->IVE, Lesserafim Zerobaseone, Kep1er and others. Don't get me wrong, these groups are great, but you can't deny that Wonyoung is leagues more popular than her members, Bahhiyih gets a tad more attention, Chaewon and Sakura are a little more popular than the others, and almost everybody knows Ricky. (As I'm writing this, I feel the need to clarify that I don't Stan any of these groups but I find that these are the members I see most when scrolling even though I don't keep up with them.) I do have to say though that leserafim is pretty good at highlighting their members (aside from maybe Kazuha? She's the member I see the least of tbh).

But anyway, I thought about all of this because of Chanelle from R U Next. Her popularity AND talent were insane, but it's a wonder why she had such a hard time on that show and was eventually voted off. I read somewhere that it was because she saw too much value in herself. SHE deserves it because she's talented and popular, and that pride caused her to react badly when things didn't go her way and a lot of people who agreed that she deserved to get what she wanted, but at the end of the day, that kind of goes to show her attitude in the face of adversity on top of the way her fans would react, and that attitude and self-importance, while not inherently wrong, is kind of detrimental to a group as a whole, so I can kind of see when she wasn't in the final lineup. Then again, I really don't know any of the members of ILLIT (the gg that debuted recently as a result of R U Next), right now, other than Wonhee from watching clips of the show.

That's why I really think humbly training as a group away from the public eye is the best way for a group to have good chemistry and support for each other. When they learn to treat each other well with nothing to gain yet, it's easier for them to do naturally when they debut and hard feelings are less common. It's not always the case, but it's something common among the groups I happen to really like. The best group dynamics come about that way, imo.

Anyway, I wish I had more time to be educated on the individual members of these groups but I have school and only so much space in my heart for the groups I already like (there are already a lot 😭😭😭), so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm also writing this on the train so like, not proofread at all, but I think I was coherent enough.

[polarisjisung]

songs that remind you of your moots?

-☀️

wait this is so cute okay so (I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER 😭)

@justalildumpling I wanna say favourite bc vampie hyuck since that's like half of our convos BUT on a real note— the vibe she gives is energetic but also cool so in terms of SOLELY the vibe bc we all know what this song is about 🙈 I'd say pado and then in terms of the meaning of a song j is actually one of the few '04 friends I have so I feel like we can really be on the same wavelength at times so act my age by one direction

@jenobubbles as someone who I grew up with I think the memories we have together are v special to me and there's no way I can't say best friend (ever) by nct dream— both songs fit and if I could condense how it feels to be friends w amaya into one song it'd be perfect places by lorde because we really do share our best and worst moments together and she's someone I can count on (+ count on me by Bruno Mars ofc)

@jammingjaem I think lex is someone who has a very dynamic personality and it ranges between being hugely energetic to super laid back and relaxed so I think new dance by xg really fits the energetic side of things and starry night by mamamoo is a v chill vibe so it fits pretty well too

@heartlvrrss the energy here is unmatched, in a cool unpredictable way so I'm saying city 127 because for me that song has an unmatchable vibe too and as someone pretty chaotic (in an endearing way ‼️) I would say savage by aespa now I have no clue what the song means but I remember when it came out and everyone was like ayo this is just 1 song?? bc it sounded like 3 different songs or sum, I really liked it tho anyways this is not meant to be me raving on about savage being their best tt 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ BUT it gives me the good vibes of being kinda unpredictable

@nanawrlds someone who i turned nineteen with so nineteen by dylan ofc! TEMPO by penomeco has been a constant in our car rides and passionfruit by drake— I feel like whenever we're together those are some songs we play and i can't listen to them without thinking of ki and how could I ever forget 偷听对白 which we listened to for hours 😭😭

[uraverageposhgrandmother]

9.7.2024 Weekly Reflection

hello! This week has been absolutely hectic because of school. All of my teachers decided to assign work due at the exact same time and tests done at the exact same times so...my weekly reflection has become weekly + four days reflection.

good things:

finished all my homework!

i cried because I thought I had failed my math test, but I ended up getting an A. Let's just hope the same thing happens with my physics test...

skin has been getting clearer. Clearly (ha, get the joke? no? well, alright, you unhumorous being...jk) my three-step routine works better than my five-step one. don't know if i should laugh or cry

18 day duolingo streak

getting around six hours of sleep per day, but I think that's pretty good...

not-that-amazing things:

piano practice still not where I want it to be. Didn't practice at all this week. I'm still getting used to the pace of my teachers and how much work I need to put into each class and look at me making excuses again

every day I'm reminded that, if you love something, there's always an asian kid who does it better than you. they say "social media is not real life" but I look all around me in real life and there are replicas of everything I want to be but can never be...everywhere. who needs social media when you can question your self-worth whilst simultaneously touching grass?

my cynicism got the best of me, again. As usual. I don't know if it's the school, the workload, the crying, the being sick, but I don't have it in me to be positive right now. I did say I'm working on being less judgemental of others and myself and, instead, focus on my own goals. So I guess the focus of the next week is just to forget about other people. So what if I'm mediocre at everything?

My mom always says, "if it's not contributing to your goal, then don't do it." Maybe I should practice working on that skill in the next three days before the next "weekly reflection"

songs of the week:

luv, q

"it's okay to not be fine" - MAMAMOO

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine having a crush on Kai but figuring he only likes hot girls...so you ask Queen Hwasa to give you lessons

You'd liked Kai for a while now but were one of those people who just didn't act on your crushes. You liked to scope them out first and find out if there was more there than attraction. With Kai you judged him based on his stage character and figured the two of you wouldn't get along. He was hot, calm and cool whereas you were loud excitable and goofy. So you'd written him off as just another crush you'd never approach when Hwasa did her Olive Young campaign with him and told you that was a load of crap. Hwasa found out that Kai was actually quiet, sweet and a lot more endearing than his intimidating stage character. He was funny, smart and so much more than a hot body. She was immediately stunned by how similar the two of you were and even told Kai that. He said he'd love to meet you to see for himself which was so exciting and flattering. You decided to go for it but because you hadn’t seen this different side of Kai you were still a little nervous. You thought it would be a good idea to channel Kai's energy and get lessons from the queen of sexy herself Hwasa on how to match Kai's hot energy. You figured you couldn't just go up and say hi to one of the most popular idols around and Hwasa agreed to teach you.

Your group Mamamoo were up for an award and it was likely you'd win. So Hwasa thought that'd be a perfect time for you to give Kai something to watch. "Okay so the key to a good entrance is the sexy walk" Hwasa said "you need to strut. Keep your eyes straight ahead and don't look at anyone. Move your hips and just act like you own the whole place. Okay?". You nodded "okay!" and started skipping. Hwasa laughed "love the energy y/n but you're going too quickly". You nodded "got it!" but slowed it down so much you looked like Mariano from Encanto. Hwasa smirked "a little faster, look watch me". She demonstrated the walk and you cheered her on. "Okay now you!" she said. You were still walking too fast but you had definitely improved. "Again!" Hwasa called and you kept at it for 20 minutes until Hwasa nodded "you're ready". You kept practising the walk in your dressing room and your members found it funny how much you were enjoying it. "Your face looks so serious!" Wheein giggled and Hwasa tolled her eyes "that's what makes the sexy walk sexy! You never smile, a smirk is allowed but a bitch face is the best". "I am going to kill this!" you grinned and the members smiled. Your confidence was still with you as you waited backstage for the award but the second they called "Mamamoo!" you froze. "Wait I can't do it!" you said halting and Hwasa frowned "yes you can". "But Exo have front-row seats!". "Exactly" Hwasa nodded "it's perfect". You shook your head "no because he'll see me!". "Yes which is why it's perfect" Hwasa replied. "No I can't!" you cried and the host said your name again confused why you hadn't appeared. "Are we going?" Solar asked while Wheein frowned "Y/n are you okay?". Hwasa took your hands "look y/n you can do this! It's the nerves talking. I'll do it with you and we'll look amazing okay?". You sighed but nodded "okay!" and let the girls lead you out. Your training immediately went out of your head and you forgot how to walk. All you could remember was Hwasa saying to hold your head up so you raised it and stared at the ceiling. You might've raised it a little too high because you totally didn't see the podium and knocked into it sending your award flying. You yelped and stuck your hands out. You punched the microphone to the other side of the stage but managed to catch the award before it hit the ground. Your members all laughed as you held it up before realising you had it upside down and flipped it around almost dropping it again. The host rushed to pick up the microphone which was still rolling away and you blushed embarrassed. "It's okay, could've happened to anyone" Solar told you but of course it happened to you right in front of Exo. You wanted the ground to swallow you up.   Backstage your members assured you it wasn't that bad. "It was cute!" Solar said "like a harmless clumsy thing and the fact you caught it is impressive". "I'm more impressed with how she broke the microphone!" Moonbyul cried and Hwasa shot her a look "not helping". "What? It IS impressive, I once dropped mine down the stairs and it still worked. One punch from y/n and it's done". You laughed starting to feel better and the girls continued until you were ready to put it behind you. "Okay so sexy walking didn't work what's next?" you asked as you all walked to the car taking you to the after-party. “Next is sexy dancing" Hwasa told you and you nodded "ah good I do this all the time". Hwasa paused "no you don't". "Hey!" you cried "I'm a great dancer, everyone loves when I dance". "Yeah because you're funny and energetic not because you're hot". Your jaw dropped and Moonbyul snorted as the other girls laughed. "You're great on stage but your natural dancing is a lot more...like a child throwing their arms around everywhere". You chuckled at Hwasa's description and Wheein patted you "I think your dancing is good y/n". "Thank you Wheein" you said pointedly looking at Hwasa. "You don't care if you look good which is nice" Wheein finished and Hwasa burst out laughing. You put your head in your hands, this being sexy thing was a lot harder than you thought. Hwasa coached you again on how to dance sexily and after a few drinks you were ready. Hwasa led you over to the dance floor and you put what she said into practice. So far things were going well. You were controlling your energy like Hwasa said and using your hips more which was apparently hot. It wasn't as fun as high-energy dancing but you were getting a good reception and Kai was watching you from across the room! 

Then they put Cyberpunk by Ateez on and you froze. 

This was your favourite song at the moment and Hwasa knew that. She looked at you and shook her head "no y/n stay strong...". "But how do I dance slowly to this? It's so good you have to move" you whined. "You can do it” Hwasa told you but your foot started twitching to the beat. You moved your arms along and started losing it. "I'm going...I'm going" you told Hwasa and she grabbed your arm "stay strong y/n!". "Can't. Be. Sexy. Must. Dance. Properly!" you cried and as the chorus started you started jumping. You kicked as the beat hit and did your typical big dancing. You dramatically sang along to Jongho's bit of the chorus and heard someone cheering. You turned to see San and Wooyoung from Ateez watching you and they were clearly loving your take on it. You grinned and challenged them to keep up. This progressed to you and San being in a dance battle while Hwasa watched wondering how you'd strayed so far from sexy dancing. You won the dance battle. When it got to the part where Jongho climbs up the chorus, going higher and higher with each second and you imitated that. San bowed to you admitting defeat and you laughed pulling him back up before carrying on dancing. You apologise to Hwasa but were having too much fun to be hot. After you'd worn yourself out Hwasa took you to get a drink and to re-assess. "Okay so the dancing and walk was a failure but you have one thing left". You nodded "okay what do i do?". "Flirt with his friend". "Why?" you asked and Hwasa smiled "because it will drive him crazy! You pretend like he's not even there and walk away leaving him desperate for you". You nodded "okay which friend do I flirt with?". "Just pick any of them it doesn't matter who". "Should we go over what I should say?" you asked and Hwasa shook her head "No you're good at flirting so I'm not worried about that. Kai is at the bar and Baekhyun is on the outside. Just go up to the side of him and start flirting". You nodded "okay!" And made your way forwards. However before you got there Baekhyun left and the person now on the outside was Chen. Hwasa's eyes widened as you headed for him instead and she tried to stop you but you didn't see her gestures. You stopped beside Chen and greeted him before launching into your flirting. Hwasa gaped as you tried it on with Chen. "Hey what's y/n doing?" Solar asked and Hwasa frowned "oh you know just trying to break up a marriage". "What!" Moonbyul cried "why would she do that?". "Because I told her to" Hwasa sighed. "Doesn't she know Chen's married?" Wheein asked. Hwasa shook her head "clearly not! You know y/n doesn't listen to idol news". The girls watched as Chen asked for your phone and put a number in it. Their jaws dropped as he passed it back with a smile. You had surely not just gotten a married man's phone number accidentally! You walked back to Hwasa smirking "smashed that!". "You know he's married right?" Solar asked and your eyes widened "what? No!". Hwasa groaned "and he gave you his number...what did he say". "Erm that this person really wanted to hear from me and that he hoped I'd call". The girls were all horrified and couldn't believe what had happened "how awful!". After failing miserably at the 3 things you were meant to do sexily you decided to just give up and Hwasa agreed to call it a night. So you stuck with the girls and tried to salvage something out of this night but you were struggling. Why did being sexy come so easy to people like Kai and Hwasa but seemed impossible to you? Life just wasn't fair. You went to the bathroom to find some quiet and on the way back found someone waiting outside. Only you didn’t see him until it was too late and only just stopped yourself crashing into him. "Kai!" You said shocked and he smiled "Hi y/n". "Hi!" you said before looking around "were you waiting for someone?". He laughed "kinda" but he didn't say more so you just smiled "so are you having a good night?". "Yes but yours seemed so much more fun. You saved that award on stage, had a dance battle and got a married man's number". The colour drained from your face "I had no idea Chen was married, I thought that was just a rumour! I promise I'm not going to use it, I would never go with a married guy". Kai nodded "I totally believe you but did you look at the number?". You frowned "no..." and took your phone out. You scrolled through your contacts but there was no Chen saved. "Weird he's not there" you said frowning when you spotted a different name. Kai. "Wait but you're here. How did your number get there?". Kai smiled blushing slightly "Chen. I didn't ask him to do it but he said he was doing me a favour. See I've been wanting to talk to you for a while but could never work out the courage to so Chen made me". You blinked "you were nervous to talk to me? Why?". "Because you're so fun and lively!" Kai smiled "whenever I see you, you're always smiling and I had no idea if a girl like you would even notice someone more serious like me. Then Hwasa started sending some pretty big hints and I began to hope". You groaned "I'm so going to kill her! What did she say?". "Oh just some things about us being well-matched and getting along" he shrugged. You laughed "she must've been playing us both. Tonight she was training me on how to be a girl you'd like but it all went wrong". Kai frowned "did it? You looked pretty good to me". You laughed "oh come on! You like sexy hot girls and tonight I punched a microphone, did a roundhouse kick on the dance floor nearly breaking my shoes and flirted unknowingly with a married man. I was anything but sexy". Kai shook his head "one what makes you think I don't find those things sexy and two what made you think I only liked sexy girls?". "Well you're Kai! You're hot every single second of the day! Your red suit nearly broke the internet and for good reason". Kai chuckled "I'm not actually that hot, that's all costume and choreography. Off stage I'm just pretty boring and I find your attitude and approach to life a lot hotter. I like how you're so yourself and do whatever comes into your mind. That's sexy". You blinked "it is? I thought it was all about rolling your hips and gyrating?". Kai laughed "see that's what I mean I've never heard a girl say gyrating before". You paused "should I not say that around boys?". Kai shook his head "you can say it around me as much as you like" and he smiled. You blushed at the way he was looking at you and looked down "okay". Kai couldn't seem to stop smiling as he watched you. "So now your know the number is mine and not Chen's...do you think you'll use it?". You wanted to squeal yes but knew Hwasa would tell you to act cool so you flicked your hair back and tried to act natural. "I don't know...maybe" you shrugged and Kai smiled. "Well i'd love to hear from you so I hope you do. Goodnight y/n" and with a wink he left. You waited for him to leave and fell against the wall. That was the moment your members appeared and they rushed over to you. "Y/n what's wrong?" Solar asked. "Are you okay?" Wheein said and you shook your head "Kai just winked at me and asked me out". You explained the situation and they all screamed. "See he liked you just the way you are!" Solar said smugly and you shrugged "apparently! What is wrong with him?". "Nothing!" Moonbyul said "you're great" and Hwasa nodded "I told you the two of you were perfect for each other!". Wheein nodded "now text him!". You smiled "I think that can wait for tomorrow, I've got a night to enjoy with my girls" and you led them all back to the dancefloor. This time you danced exactly how you liked and Kai smiled watching you from afar. To him you looked perfect. 

___________

Okay but can we all agree the Kai x Hwasa Olive Young campaign was the greatest thing ever? They were so great and had so much chemistry! We need a Mamamoo x Exo collab asap

[sasukeuzumaki-uchiha]

Headcanons:

Most Hashiras as KPOP fan + who they stan

Modern AU

Hey everyone, i'm so sorry for not posting recently. To apologize I'm posting some Headcanons i hope you will like it

It's almost my birthday!!!!

Started: 03/12/2023

Finished: 05/12/2023

_________________________________________

Giyuu:

Giyuu heard about K-POP from a young group of girls who were fans of the group (G)I-DLE (The best group ever❤️)

The same night he came home he immediately searched (G)I-DLE on his phone and listened to their songs

His favorite songs is probably "Queencard" and "I Want That"

His bias is Soyeon (Like me❤️❤️)

After a while he started listening to other groups, but he stayed with the girl groups

He now listen to TWICE, ITZY, MAMAMOO and still (G)I-DLE

His favorite song from TWICE is probably Knock Knock or Heart Shaker

His bias in Twice might be Nayeon or Jeongyeon

He has a playlist on his phone with his favorite music

TWICE : Knock Knock

TWICE : Heart Shaker

TWICE : SET ME FREE

(G)I-DLE : Queencard

(G)I-DLE : I Want That

(G)I-DLE : Lion

ITZY : Cake

ITZY : RINGO

ITZY : Cheshire

ITZY : Wannabe

MAMAMOO : Starry Night

MAMAMOO : Um Oh Ah Yeh

MAMAMOO : Taller Than You

MAMAMOO : Mr. Ambiguous

MAMAMOO : Decalcomanie

His bias in MAMAMOO is Hwasa

His bias in ITZY is Ryujin

When he is alone he sing and dance

He transformed Tanjiro into a KPOP fan

Shinobu:

It's all thanks to Giyuu and Tanjiro

She went to Giyuu's house to pick up Tanjiro and she heard Giyuu and Tanjiro singing TWICE "Feel Special"

After that incident she started listening to TWICE

It's almost not her type but she keep listening because she find Tzuyu cute

She definitely listen to NewJeans

Her favorite songs from NewJeans is Cool With You and Get Up (Because it's short, like her life 😂⚰️)

She now definitely have NewJeans Merch (A lightstick, like me)

After a while she now listen BTS and Stray Kids

She actually thought that the group Stray Kids was composed of Stray Kids...

She now share her K-POP theories online

Sanemi:

He actually was a fan before everyone

Sanemi was a big big fan of Shinee but when Jonghyun died he stopped listening

Now that listen to kpop again he like BTS, EXO, Stray Kids, NCT, Astro

He actually never knew for Moonbin's death, until Giyuu announced it to him

Of course, it's Sanemi so he didn't listen to Giyuu

Then he searched it

He stopped listening to KPOP

This time he never listened to KPOP ever since

Rengoku:

He was first introduced to KPOP by Tanjiro in the Mugen Train

The first group he even listened to was TWICE

He adore Momo, he say she is so adorable with her cute face

He try to dance like her but fail each time, he still try to dance

If you ask him to do a iconic line from his favorite song he will sing the entire song

He love the Candy Pop song from TWICE

When he died his last word is like the movie with a lyric from TWICE

"Even when hurtful words stab me, I smile again 'cause you’re there"

😭😭😭

Mitsuri:

When she was introduced to kpop, she was actually lost on YouTube

She was typing whatever she was thinking about

"Cry For Me" "Feel Special" "Moonlight" and "TT" are her favorite songs by TWICE

She actually made her animals listen to TWICE

Her bias is Dahyun

When she heard about the Nayeon stalker situation she started to post on internet and created the #SaveNayeon

She also created a TWICE Playlist

She absolutely love TWICE

After a while she started listening to BTS

She introduced to KPOP to Obanai

Obanai:

He only started listening because Mitsuri loved it

The first song he listened to was "Bad Girl, Good Girl" by MissA

After that he never stopped listening to MissA

The second group he ever listened to was WJSN

He started listening to BTS for one reason, Mitsuri love them for some reason

For Mitsuri's birthday he bought her the BTS book, he bought it for himself as well

[amyyscorner]

Random facts about me

I clap when I laugh out of pure happiness. Always have.

I never respond to my most favorite asks. I keep them in my inbox to look at again when I need the positivity.

I am an extrovert. But the world made me believe I was introverted for years.

Sometimes I do a little dance when I eat food I really love.

I crush fast, but I've never been in love.

My best kiss started with them saying "I'd really like to kiss you right now."

I can't help but tear up when I see someone cry. Especially if it's someone I care about.

I will always try to pet any cat I see. And I will absolutely meow back at them.

I am incapable of fully believing it when a friend says they will not leave me, unless they have proven it to me somehow, no matter how much I want to.

The only reason I got into kpop was Bang Chan's abs. You will get no explaination.

I saw Stray Kids and Mamamoo live.

I am horrible at taking my meds on time, or remembering to take them at all.

I never take off my rings when I wash my hands. I feel almost naked without them.

I send voice memos to people I love.

My favourite pair of pants is from the men's section.

I snore a little bit when I sleep.

I always hug a pillow when I sit at my desk at home or when I sleep.

I have a teddy dog that I cut off of a dolls hand when I was a kid, because I was jealous and wanted it.

I spray my Han Quokka's with perfume so they smell good.

I prefer using perfume branded for men.

I can't bite straight into apples because it hurts my gum.

When I sneeze, I do so 5 or more times in a row.

I get the hiccups at least once a week.

I almost exclusively wear silver or Black jewelry.

My best friend knit socks for me. I wear them often.

I don't like coffee of any kind. Instead I drink a lot of tea.

I personally believe I have a good sense of style.

I enjoy doing makeup on myself and others. I'd say I'm fairy good at it.

I cry when I think about how little hugs I get.

I treasure physical touch. It shows me love.

I have a hoodie I stole from my dad. It's ugly but comfy.

If I could turn back time, I don't think I would.

I have a really loud laugh.

I get cute little wrinkles in the corners of my eyes when I smile.

My hair is getting thinner.

Sometimes I listen to breathing/light snoring asmr because it helps me feel less alone when I struggle falling asleep.

I love flirting.

Sometimes I think I look pretty while I'm crying.

I really struggle to hide my smile when something is endearing.

I'm an excellent liar if I want to be.

I think going to concerts or amusement parks is worth every bit of money.

The sound of a clock ticking drives me insane.

I built my own gaming computer.

I collect mugs.

I like to sing, even if I do it without warming up and end up staining my voice.

Kissing makes me tired.

I always got told I have a face for hats and glasses. I agree.

I never leave my home without doing my eyebrows.

I have some really cute moles in my facial areas.

Sometimes when I lay on my side and look at a screen, one of my eyes starts tearing up.