#I SWEAR I CAN BE MORE CREATIVE
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cabinette · 2 days ago
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tma and tf2 communities of tumblr. I made a thing. how many of you can give me extra trivia
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seventh-district · 2 months ago
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Figured I'd try my hand at some Redacted character post/text edits!
[ 1 / ? ]
Credit to @/sainthowlzon for all the Listener icons, and to @/elisacaleisa for their google drive with all the canon icons!
(slightly alternative version of the Solaires' GC edit below the cut bc i had a lil too much fun with what Vincent would name his contacts)
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#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted memes#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted vincent#redacted honey#redacted guy#redacted azmidi#redacted sweetie#redacted david#redacted asher#redacted treasure#redacted porter#redacted alexis#redacted william#*slaps post* *flextape meme guy voice* now THAT's a lotta characters!#good Lord these were hard to figure out ALT text for. anyone more experienced with describing images feel free to lmk if i did it wrong#i'm trying to both give credit to the images source (when there even is one. text screenshots are usually source-less when i find them)#And to explain what the original images said. And how I edited them. And who's speaking in what message and aaaaaaa ...i Tried#breaking away from my old style of edits by actually changing the OP's handles to suit the characters. but i'm not creative enough to think#-of cool ones so it's just gonna be their names most of the time probably lmao. but i'll leave the original ones unedited if they happen-#-to fit like the Darlin' one did. and sometimes there Is no handle/url in the image to begin with so. i'm playing it by ear#still gonna put credit to the OPs in the ALT text when i can tho. anyways. that's enough overanalyzing meme edits for one night#i spent way too much time on these so i sure do hope that some of y'all find them funny#and as usual with these kinda edits i really hope i'm not accidentally making any that have been done before!#if i ever make a duplicate of someone else's i swear its not intentional i just dont have time to scour the fandom for every existing edit#also i know that's not how iMessages are formatted but i had to find a way to make it clear who's POV we're seeing the convo from so yeah
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turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago
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Combining the boys’ abilities (and I mean actual combining not just using them at the same time) because I was thinking about it and wow they’re kinda cracked actually-
[ cw: death mention / def not for them though 💀]
Raph & Mikey: infinite clones (aka unbeatable) + strength completely unparalleled + infinite cloned chains + the clones are very fast and can fly + potentially reverse any damage on main shield clones or even damage in general
Mikey & Donnie: constructs that also can last much longer than usual possibly forever + potential future vision + every single cable or wire or anything of that sort has the potential to be taken over akin to Mikey’s chains + full telekinesis
Donnie & Leo: pinpoint portal/teleportation themselves or constructs just by knowing where to aim (aka instadeath for any enemy if used right) + telepathy
Leo & Raph: teleporting clones who can grow or shrink at will (which can also be instadeath like above if used right) + said clones can also act as homing spots to switch places with + potentially swap damage taken to clones
Raph & Donnie: they literally can make Voltron, but more than one + basically impossible to destroy shields + constructs can also be cloned
Mikey & Leo: freezing time and being able to move during it + heat death of the universe + “oops hey it’s other alternate iterations of us???” + this is a time and space team up you’re not winning this-
Basically any combo is an instant “you win.” I wanna go further into these combos later and maybe even add or subtract as I think more on it because there’s so many I left out and I can always extrapolate on and explain these ones more, but this was fun and these boys have terrifying powers even without combining them all together.
Seriously, should each of them train these abilities to the best they can be, there is no beating them even if they’re alone.
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hplonesomeart · 13 days ago
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I’m getting so antsy about finishing this—Oh how I long for the day I’ll be able to share the full thing in motion. Alas that day never comes because I keep making it increasingly more complicated for myself to get done lol. Maybe give it another month
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fruitsofhell · 1 year ago
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I used to be one of those guys when I first joined the Kirby fandom, but everytime I hear a discussion of the series writing that starts with "So the Lore is InSaNe-" and not like, "Kirby has a fun writing style that takes advantage of its cute exterior to tell cool stories that reward player's curiosity and leave lots of room for imagination-" I cringe so goddamn hard.
I kinda just hate that people approach things that encourage investment when they don't expect it as inherently absurd. Like it is fun to joke about how absurd Kirby lore can be, but it really often comes with an air of disrespect or exhaustion rather than like, appreciation that these games are made by people who want to tell interesting stories when they could easily make as much money just making polished enough fluffy kiddy platformers. And when it's not met with exhaustion, it's met with - like I said before - that tone that it's stupid for a series like this TO have devs who care about writing stuff for it. Which is a whole other thing about people not respecting things made to appeal to kiddie aesthetic or tone.
Maybe the state of low-stakes YouTube video essays just blows cause people play up ignorance and disbelief for engagement, but like I STG I hear people use this tone for like actual narrative based games sometimes. Some people don't like... appreciate when a game is made by people who care a shitton in ways that aren't direct gameplay feedback. And they especially don't appreciate it when it comes from something with any sense of tonal dissonance intentional or not.
Anyways, I love games made by insane people. I love games made by teams who feel like they wanna make something work or say something so bad. I love that energy, especially when invested into something that could easily rest on its laurels or which obviously won't be taken seriously. I love this in a lot of classic campy 2000s games, I love this in insanely niche yet passionate fanworks, and I love it in the Kirby series and its writing. Can we please stop talking about it like it's an annoyance or complete joke?
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thewhizzyhead · 3 months ago
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ya know what would be a dream scenario for me in terms of the musical movie renaissance? if movie directors decide to take one quick look at epic the musical on youtube,,,and realize that the primary reason why that indie project is as popular as it is is because it actively encourages the creation of animatics,,,so basically can like Hollywood realize animation Is Indeed The Way To Go If They Ever Want To Adapt Something As Big As Hadestown To The Big Screen
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What are your favorite Chase moments from the show so far?
Just like with Zuma's post, it's in no specific order, I just really loved all these moments
That first Mission PAW episode when the Princess chose specifically HIM to be the watch dog and guard her crown. That was so adorable I can't even. He seemed so genuinely proud and happy there! Plus he's so damn cute wearing that tux lol
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When they were going to rescue Skye and Chase was so worried upon hearing that she was the one in need of rescue. Then when Ryder was choosing which pups would be part of the rescue, that moment he was like "Pick meee pick meeee-"?? That was so cute, he really cares about her and wanted to impress her so bad lmao personally make sure she would be safe (Bonus points for his excitement over being picked for the rescue and everyone else like Go ahead king, we all know you wanted this XD)
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The entire time he spent with the owlet and working to rescue the mama owl from that fallen tree. It was so sweet!! The fact I also love owls surely didn't help AUSHAUSHAUSHAU I love that episode SO MUCH
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That moment when he finally turned into a Merpup. Poor boy was so fixated on "being on duty" despite wanting SO BAD to go and participate in "the fun". And he couldn't even enjoy being a merpup immediately because he was transformed just because he needed to swim faster for the rescue but he was so overjoyed anyway! Only after that mess, he could go and finally have the fun he wanted and deserved so much.
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That moment in the first Sea Patrol episode when he and Skye were left behind at the beach while the rest of the team went on the first mission with the Sea Patroller. His face upon SEEING the HQ turn into a ship and sail away was just priceless XD (Also it's rare to see Chase being put on the sidelines for once lmao)
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The first Ultimate Rescue episode!! God, Chase was SO HAPPY. He's THE Police Pup, he gets to lead the mission, supervise, plan, give orders. And the way all the other pups clearly loved the experience and were SO ON BOARD with being Police Pups with him, it was just awesome!
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So far these are my favorite moments! Actually I legit just got to watch this first Ultimate Rescue episode like one hour ago. Not to mention it took me five days to think of these moments and then go find the episodes again to take the respective screenshots XD
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elliedafish · 5 months ago
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CLM Event🤎
In honor of Cowboy Like Me selling over 1 million units I thought I would do an event. This will be open until December 11th (Evermore's birthday). You can send more after but it probably won't be finished for a little while.
11 prompts because it's track 11!
Anyone can do any of the prompts if they want. I don't really have any specific rules.
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𝔟𝔬𝔬𝔱𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔢𝔡 - I'll make you a moodboard based off of your favorite Evermore song. (Lmk which song!)
𝔦𝔱 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 - I'll give you an evermore bridge.
𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔰 𝔲𝔭 𝔪𝔶 𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔳𝔢 - I'll give you a cowboy like me lyric.
𝔰𝔨𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔠𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔰 - I'll give you an evermore song lyric.
𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔞𝔤𝔞𝔦𝔫 - I'll give you an evermore eras tour dress.
𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 - I'll give you an evermore chapter playlist.
𝔦 𝔩𝔬𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫 - I'll give you an evermore eras tour surprise song pairing/mashup.
𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔞 𝔣𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔯 -I'll give you an evermore song
𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔱 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔪𝔢 - I'll give you an artist Taylor collabed with for evermore
𝔰𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫 𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔱 𝔟𝔞𝔯 - I'll give you an evermore chorus
𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔱 - I'll give you an evermore/cowboy like me themed/related object
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hollystarquarium · 1 year ago
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i hate that people have gotten so comfortable shitting on like. completely normal fandom things. just because its "cringe"
i love you fanon charactization i love you selfship i love you oc inserts i love you ooc fanfics i love you cliche aus i love you beginner artists and writers and creators trying new things and being unabashedly creative. i love you "cringe" fandom behaviors. keep creating. dont let people shame you. have fun
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softquietsteadylove · 15 hours ago
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Hey sweetheart. I got this idea maybe you can do something with it? Thena is scared of eating food that isn’t sealed and made by her because she got food poisoned by someone (friend group/ex/collegue/father/or whatever you choose) so Gil, her husband or boyfriend, does a taste tasting before every meal even if he cooked it.
"You made it!"
Thena smiled at Gil from over the counter of his warm and homey restaurant. He had told her to come a half hour before he closed. it was their quietest night of the week, and he usually let his other staff go early. It could be just them.
Really, he had been trying to convince her to come to the restaurant for quite a while. He understood she had trouble eating out, but he wanted to share his food with her, and she wanted to experience it.
She kept telling herself Gil's food would be different.
Gil's food would be lovingly made. It was food he shared with everyone who came to his restaurant. There were other customers who tried it everyday, there were health inspectors who made sure everything was safe. And most importantly, it was made by Gil.
But still, she couldn't shake her fear.
The way her whole body trembled at the thought of food she hadn't made for herself. She would feel cold sweat on her palms as she remembered the burning sensation she had felt in her throat. That food had also been 'made with love', as far as she had known.
"Hey," Gil rushed to the edge of the counter, leaning over it as if he could jump over it completely to greet her.
"Hey," she managed to smile. Gilgamesh always acted so happy to see her, as if it were the highlight of his day. She leaned over to kiss him. She could already taste whatever he'd been cooking on his lips.
Gil knew. She hadn't had much choice but to tell him. After his seventh attempt at asking her to join him for dinner or even coffee, he had outright asked if he'd misread her--if she wasn't interested in seeing him. She had never rushed so fast to correct someone.
It was hard to 'date' when she was deathly afraid of eating food she hadn't prepared herself. She was trying, going to therapy, trying small steps, like having pre-made, sealed foods from convenience stores and the like.
She had told Gil about Kro, and the 'anniversary dinner' that had nearly left her without any taste buds at all. Her time in the hospital, learning her partner had not, in fact, accepted her rejection of moving in together and had opted to poison her instead.
Nothing deadly, just enough to permanently scar her for life.
And she had been prepared to hear that she was blowing things out of proportion, letting her fear get the better of her, that she had to get over it. But he had looked at her, with that sweet face of his. And all he had to say was that he understood, and he wouldn't push it.
And he hadn't. They saw each other in ways that didn't centre food. They went to museums, and parks, and aquariums. She would get a sealed smoothie from the health section of a grocery store while he got a coffee, and they would talk. He had kept his promise, he didn't push it.
Only once did he offer her a bite of something reflexively, and she had just stared at it. He had retracted it, worried he was offending her. But really...it did look good. And she did like smoked salmon bagels. And she had wanted to have a bite.
"Oh," he had blinked with realisation. Then, he brought the bagel up to his own lips and took a bite, making sure to show her how he chewed and swallowed it. He even waited a few seconds before holding it out to her again. "What about now?"
And that was how they worked. Thena could broach her fear a little at a time, with Gil's help. He would taste test things for her, prove their harmlessness. And, upon seeing that there was no immediate danger, she could work up the courage to get through the rest.
And tonight was her ultimate test to herself. Had she come far enough in her fear to trust Gil's cooking without the need for him to test it for her first?
"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered to her, lingering close despite them being the only ones there.
Thena still ducked her head, a smitten smile coming over her. She looked around the empty dining room. "Don't tell me you closed early just for this."
"Nah, this is just what it's like monday nights," Gil shrugged. He removed his hands from hers, dragging himself away and to his kitchen equipment.
There were plates sitting atop a shelf, being kept warm--probably too hot for anyone untrained to handle, actually. But Gil grabbed them with his bare hands and placed all three down in front of her. "Careful, babe."
She eyed him; how he handled such searing hot plates all day was beyond her. But she looked at the food. It looked and smelled delicious, and they were some of her favourites. There was steaming hot curry over fluffy rice, positively glistening slices of roast chicken, and even some pasta, seemingly dressed in a simple mix of oil and spices.
Her stomach churned.
"These are three specialties I developed in culinary school," Gil narrated as he rounded the counter properly so he could take a seat next to her. He pulled his apron off and unbuttoned the top of his chef's jacket. "And I adapted them to my menu here because--well, I guess, because why not?"
She smiled, trying to listen to him and not stare down the meal glaring at her. The smells were so tempting, but looking at the food still filled her with dread. "How did you come up with them?"
"Well, curry I always loved as a kid," he admitted with a boyish grin. He had such natural charm; she never would have been able to resist agreeing to go out with him, fear of food or not. "I kept developing little ways to make it the best curry for me. Then, when I started cooking seriously, I could start making it the best curry--period."
Thena looked at the curry, hoping she could muster the love for it that Gil had. It looked so good, warm and rich in colour, steam coming off it. She blinked as Gil reached past her, scooping up a mouthful for himself. She just stared as he chewed and gulped it down before moving on.
"The chicken is the first thing I really, really nailed in class," he grinned, moving onto his next creation. "It's pretty basic to learn how to roast a chicken, but I ended up drying out my first and second attempts, so I got determined to get it right."
He didn't even finish his story before picking up a slice of breast with the skin on. He had done amazing justice to it; she could see the juices of it dripping as he tossed it into his mouth without even need for utensils. He chewed a little.
"I spent hours going over my notes," he paused, finally gulping this one down loudly too. "Developed the perfect wet brine to keep it juicy, rotated it multiple times to keep it even, slathered it in butter--I went all out."
He certainly did; he was licking his fingers.
"And when I finally presented my success, I was top of the class," he declared with another bright grin. "The pasta-"
He paused, picking up her fork and twirling some around it. And for a second, she dreaded the thought that he was going to hold it up for her to try it, and she was going to have to overpower her own nervous system to make herself take a bite of her boyfriend's delicious food.
But once again, Gil took a bite of his own food himself, proving to her the harmlessness, and deliciousness. He slurped up the last tail end of a noodle, licking his lips. "I mean, alio e olio is actually a really common dish. But it's hard to make one stand out. And also I know you love garlic-y pasta."
"So in school, they teach you the traditional way to make it, but there are a lot of different techniques, some that have been developed really recently," he set her fork down again. "I tried one that's definitely the best, but takes a while. We pre-boil the noodles, but nowhere near being done. Then you seal them and basically let the steam get them just to the point where they'll be perfectly al dente when you finish them in the sauce."
Thena continued to stare at him.
Finally broken from his reverie of culinary exposition, he looked at her too. And the very sweet Gilgamesh that had first asked her out for coffee in the convenience store was right in front of her again.
"A-Are you okay?" he rushed to ask her, leaning in his stool and putting his hand on her arm. "Is it too much? You don't have to--I'm sorry."
She shook her head faintly.
"I shouldn't have rushed this, sweetheart," he continued to lament, moving his hand from her arm to clasp her hand between both of his. "Listen, we can just...put this on hold, y'know? There's nothing wrong with that. I can clean up here and hey!--h-how about coffee and a smoothie? Tomorrow we-"
Thena cut him off, lurching forward and kissing him so hard his word slurred right off his tongue and onto hers. Her free hand held his cheek, bringing him closer as if she was going to crawl into his lap right here in his own restaurant.
He blinked now, stunned as she pulled away from him. He ran his tongue over his lips a few times before his eyes managed to focus again. "Uh, no complaints hon, but...what's on your mind?"
She just laughed, shaking her head at him as she swiped at her lips, just to make sure her gloss was still in place. "Do you have any idea how perfect you are?"
"No," he blurted out, because Gil was the type to blurt something out honestly and think second. And she adored that about him. His thoughts followed and he smiled too. "But if you wanna tell me...?"
She swiped at his lips this time, making sure her lip colour hadn't migrated to him unwittingly. "You tested it for me."
That definitely confused him. His expressions were so easy to read, his heart on his sleeve at all times. "Isn't that what we do?"
"Yes," she laughed again, fainter this time. She looked at the food again, her anxiety retreating to the deeper corners of her mind again. "But I hadn't expected...it's your food."
"So?"
As if she could be more in love with this man.
But he meant it. He moved their hands, lacing his fingers with hers and touching the hand of hers that was on his cheek. "Thena, my food is no different than any other restaurant's, any other grocery store sushi or cafe sandwich."
It was vastly different, because his food would taste vastly better.
He moved his head so he could kiss her palm. "I'll test anything for you, Thena. I would do anything for you."
She shook her head at him again, because what else could she do? Tears pricked her eyes, but she refused to cry over food with him anymore.
Gli's smile returned. "I'll taste test everything for you, for as long as you want me to. I don't care if it's a little halloween candy bar or every hors d'oeuvre at a wedding buffet."
She laughed again, because he was good at making her laugh. "You can't do that."
"Why not?" he asked, and he meant it as a question. "My friends are getting married next summer. I'll be the official taste tester of everything. The appetizers, the meal, the cake."
Thena sighed, as deliriously happy as she was. "You can't taste test everything for me, Gilgamesh."
"I don't care," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her again. "It makes you feel safe, Thena. And I'll do anything to make that happen."
She kissed him back, no longer wondering if she was falling too hard and too fast for the earnest and endearing chef in front of her. She most certainly was. "You."
He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she could feel him smiling against her skin.
"You make me feel safe," she clarified, just in case there was any question at all. She got another kiss, assuring there wasn't.
"Hey," he whispered, pulling himself away from her but still hovering close. "Hungry?"
She nodded, blinking away more tears (happy, this time).
"Ready?" he asked as he twirled up some pasta for her.
And for the first time in a year and a half, she looked at the forkful of food with genuine desire. She was ready.
#Thenamesh AU#thank you so much for the ask sweetheart!!!!#this is such a creative prompt and such a sweet idea#I considered looking up some scenes but I didn't want to risk copying anything too closely even by accident#I kept imagining how they could come to be#Thena is still learning to branch out#the most she can do is get protein drinks and stuff#she and Gil meet - flirt - in the convenience store a few times before he asks her out#he asks her out for coffee and she says...there's a cafe in the library where I work#and then she just manages to distract and lure him away from it#and Gil has always been very careful to keep his thoughts to himself#he doesn't bring up Kro#but he did look him up online and he swears if he ever finds out what this dude looks like and where he lives#anyway he and Thena can finally have a romantic dinner date#they're seated at his counter#feeding each other bites one at a time talking and flirting all night#eventually someone presses their nose to the glass five minutes before closing time#because that's always how it goes#just so they can be like NO I SEE HIM IN THERE BUT HE'S JUST LIKE MAKING OUT WITH SOME LADY#Thena's embarrassed#but Gil goes over and shouts through the window WE'RE CLOSED#Thena tells him it's bad for business and he says they're being rude I'm trying to romance my girlfriend#and after this Thena introduces Gil to her friends#who not only did not know she was seeing anyone#but also are astounded that he not only knows about Kro but tests her food for her to help her eat#that encounter is actually the first draft I wrote#but then I described this milestone in their relationship and I thought this is the more compelling scene#I really really hope you like it thank you for your request!
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kinardsevan · 9 months ago
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Me, this morning, on four(ish) hours of sleep: I'm going to go home tonight and crash. No writing will likely get done.
Me: at 10:56 PM: Oops. Also, I still need to write day two for bucktommy week.
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cantquitu · 11 days ago
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snapbackslide · 3 months ago
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if anyone got tips pls share with the group 🫶🫶🫶🫶
#i've had enough 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#i'm not getting paid enough to deal w these people's bullshit#just applied to 2 jobs that look solid#& those are the first 2 in WEEKS btw that didn't seem like fucking disasters#1 is mostly for the hybrid opportunity & bc they got ALL the insurances#the other is bc it's downtown montreal (<3) and a cause i'm passionate about - be great to do some MEANINGFUL work#seems like there's a shortage of *decent* job opportunities in my field lately#and idk how i'm getting less callbacks now that i HAVE experience as opposed to when i didn't ???#weird.#anyway.#i'm pissed off this week cause they're crossing my boundaries more and more here & also this garbage weather#FUCKING SNOW#FUCKING HAVING TO SHOVEL AND CLEAN MY CAR BEFORE I CAN DRIVE HOME#FIRST THE CONSTRUCTIONS AND TRAFFIC THEN IT WAS DONE I HAD 3 DAYS OF PEACE AND NOW THIS#LESS AND LESS TIME TO ACTUALLY REST AT HOME BEFORE I GOTTA COME BACK HERE AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN#MAN I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT HERE#so yea anyway 🤠😁#anybody got tips to make quick easy money? pls help. lol#i need to start my freelancing business fr fr i just don't feel like i'm creative enough to come up w something lucrative#like i'm making a little money on the side rn but it's def not enough to be a side hustle#i'm just so sick of having to apply to jobs and do interviews and sell myself and working for nasty ass people#yesterday they invited me again to their dumbass christmas party. brother i am not going to your fuckass 60+ y.o. foreign ppl dinner#there is NO one my age and EVERYONE speaks ur language that i dont understand. i'm not spending a second more than required with y'all#AND LIKE 90% OF THEM ARE MEN LIKE. EW. FUCKING EW. NO#i swear if they pressure me one more time or ask me again why i'm not going i'm gonna snap#you are NOT entitled to ANY information about me or my personal life or my reasons why i don't wanna do certain things#i'm here to GET MY MONEY and GO#i can't wait to quit.#**
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epicqtefail · 2 years ago
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oh no. really terrible animatic idea. im gonna have to do it.
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lieutenantselnia · 7 months ago
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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katyspersonal · 1 year ago
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Tumblr sorta needs a 'Mute' feature in my opinion. Like what if I don't want to block this user, what if I don't want to become enemies and in some days I'd like to interact. But also most of the time seeing how they avidly encourage everyone else whereas I get the passive-aggressive 'oh yeah very uhh... interesting... (please leave me alone I don't like your art lol)' makes me want to unfollow every single fan of these characters and never draw them again.
I remember two years ago the exact same thing happened when someone liked the same character and the same ship and I swear I was the only person in the fandom they bluntly left out and could not spare a single good word for. I can't even blame this on my art being "ugly" because this type of user always aggressively praises all art styles and all levels of skill, it feels more like 'a personal thing except we never fought a single time'. And now my toxic trait of needing approval from [cool person name] is back to haunt me years later! Add the unability to "abandon" this character/ship/whatever despite wanting to after facing so much unspoken passive spite, because I am a contrarian and the best way to trap me into doing something is to try to exclude me from it. I didn't face attempts to very aggressively bully me out of the yard/class/community/etc, sometimes with physical violence included, only to let something mid like passive aggression online finally do it.
I am really stupid and naive person despite my age, but in like 5% of the cases I will still understand the hint and understand what is going on. Yet I have to pretend to be clueless even in rare situations when I know someone hates me, because since they never admitted it, quitting will be perceived as me being "paranoid". But dear goooood, it hurts sometimes. I hope that one day I will be numbed to being treated as a tumor on an otherwise healthy body of society that someone is dying to amputate- and always a person whose approval I want, of all people. Knowing that this day will come is one of the things that keep me going as both a person and a creator. Things like viruses and diseases still try their best to persist, so even if I am actually one, I should persist. It doesn't matter whether I actually rot everything around me or this is just my self-depreciating delusion upon focusing on people that mistreated me and not people that loved me. What matters is persisting, I just still feel angry that it hurts. I can't respond spite with spite or passive aggression with passive aggression, I can't do the 'smug asshole' when I become aware that someone tries to starve me until I "die". I can just fall over and cry about it like a kicked dog, despite being so old, especially when it is a person I didn't have anything against.
And really.. It is as simple as turning the internet off, so I don't see The Person and can focus on doing stuff that I like, as if they never existed and can't crash my self-esteem. It is just annoying to keep doing this, a feature to not see them unless I am in the mood would be better. Like.. blocking is not an option. Not only it implies being enemies which is not my intention, but also it will be like an "evidence" that I was "crazy". They didn't do anything, right? Well, they know what they did, but it was never verbal, so it is my fault I "imagined things", right?
#/vent#/negative#/HEAVILY negative#fandomry rambles#like I started crying typing this do not read it unless you already know#it is just stupid how I don't even need any sort of drama to *just* annoy people to THIS severe point#like I said even before everything there was a very similar situation#I just evoke some primal hatred in specific type of people#it is probably what happened with maasanox but they apologized and moreover felt bad vibes from the stalker bully idiot#it is more like that meme from Lilo and Stitch#'ah yeah all artists and other creative fans deserve knowing they are liked and talented and supported...'#*katya walks in* 'EXCEPT THAT ONE!!!!!!!'#the punchline is that the two years ago guy and todays guy are fans of the same character#I swear the fictional bastard has abnormal ability to reveal the ugliest truths and bring out the worst in people#like the last time someone kinned the twink every single person here showed their true face and that was painful#not a single person got spared of showing what they were made of and me lacking spine was the LEAST of the sins brought up for judgement#you see this is why truth hurts. because people are terrible. truth is always ugly because WE are always ugly#I kinda love him for that but seriously can he stop making the worst things surface for FIVE minutes lol#in my excuse I am TRYING to kill my 'inner child' because these problems are too stupid but it seems impossible#I am a kicked dog with rabies in the past today and always
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