#I SEE PAST AND FUTURE COMMING FREE

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 6

Yay! Another Boy with a Bat! In this we have Steve and the rest of the seniors finding out if they graduate and Steve getting squicked at his own pool.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

****

Things began to improve between Steve and Nancy but Eddie was still keeping an eye on her. His hackles were up now, and he had no intentions of dropping them any time soon.

Steve was glad that swim season was up and that the basketball team had done so badly their losses far outweighed their wins. And while he was upset he wasn’t starting spring training with the baseball team, it was nice to spend his afternoons with Eddie.

He could see that Eddie was really struggling with his homework, but whenever Steve asked, his boyfriend would blow him off. He was fine. They would graduate together. Just Steve wait and see.

During that last free period of the day, Steve began work on his next comic. He kept it short like he did the other one. Just the part about the junkyard and the dogs. Maybe the next comic would deal with the tunnels, but not this one.

Steve sketched out the RV, changing it from the bus it actually was. He actually enjoying find out ways to hide the details of his experiences into the comic.

What was even better was that he was pretty sure it would even take the smartest members of the Party a couple of pages to figure it out. He had taken out his pen to start inking the page when he felt someone knock into his elbow just as he was about to put his pen to the paper.

He looked up to see a couple of members of the junior varsity team, walking past, snickering.

It had been awhile since he had been a target of someone’s bullying and wondered where the hell it had com from. The idiots were wearing their letterman jackets allowing Steve to read their names. Carver, McKinney, and a couple of others.

Steve shook his head. Billy was a bad influence on the team, and maybe now the coach would see that. Considering how badly they lost this season with the asshole as team captain.

He looked back up at the retreating backs of the juniors as they laughed and whispered insults about Steve as they made their way out of the library.

He knew all too well how they treat people like them, verses outsiders. And now that Steve had thrown his lot in willingly with the outsiders, the other members of the team were going to be trouble.

Billy could call them off, but Eddie’s status as drug dealer wouldn’t faze that lot. They were the church boys. The sanctimonious assholes who would be straight edgers if they liked the violence, but were too soft to get their hands actually dirty.

He looked down at his drawing and sighed. These assholes didn’t know what pain actually looked liked. Still in their ivory towers, looking down on the masses and turning up their noses.

Steve flicked back to an earlier page of the hero and his little brother walking down the railway tracks and ran his fingers over the two figures. He hadn’t colored it yet, but he knew the trucker hat would be red. For the bond the boys shared.

The bell rang and Steve gathered up his stuff. He shouldered his backpack. Just then there was a tap on his shoulder.

It was the librarian, Mrs. Locke.

“Next time, you’ll be meeting with Mr. Cole and handful of other students to know if you have the credits to graduate,” she said, handing him a paper with the information he would need.

“It’ll be here at the library,” she continued. “But be sure to get here in plenty of time because the tables will fill up fast.”

Steve nodded. “Thank you, Mrs. Locke. I’ll try to get here as soon as I can.”

She nodded and let him go. Steve hefted his backpack again and made for the parking lot, a sense of dread pooling in his stomach.

****

Steve sat at the same table as Eddie, Janice and Marty. They all greeted him with quiet murmuring. The whole room vibrated with nervous tension. Mr. Cole was going to tell them their future and fuck if that wasn’t the most terrifying thing in their young lives.

Steve envied them.

For Eddie though, this was his second go round and that fear of failure radiating off the older teen in waves.

Mr. Cole walked into the library and whispered something to the librarian. She nodded curtly and walked back to her desk.

He sat on an empty table and pulled out three stacks of folders. A large stack of about twenty or so, a much smaller stack of about five, and a stack of two.

Eddie gulped and Steve took his hand under the table.

“Thank you all for being here,” Mr. Cole began. He hovered his hand over the first stack. “These are all of you who are graduating without a shadow of a doubt. You have the credits as of now to graduate. Congrats.” His hand moved over to the next pile. “This is those that as long as they pass their classes by May 15th, will graduate. But it is dependent on you passing those classes.” His hand landed on the final two folders.

“These two aren’t passing,” he continued grimly. “Do not pass go, do not collect your diploma. For those two, you have three options. Repeat your senior year. Take your GED that will at least be equal to a high school diploma. Or you flunk out of high school. Walk away from formal education for good.”

Steve stared at the second pile with a growing pit of dread pooling in his stomach.

“I will call each of you by name,” Mr. Cole said, “and will talk to you away from your peers. I’m not here to name and shame and if you really want to know you can wait until graduation.”

There was a little bit of grumbling, but mostly from the assholes no one liked anyway.

“Steve Harrington.”

Steve gave Eddie’s hand a squeeze and got up. He followed Mr. Cole to what the students called the Stacks. They weren’t really stacks of books, but it was a set of tables for study that were surrounded by bookshelves to make it secluded. Guys liked to take their girlfriends back here for a little alone time.

“Hey, Steve,” Mr. Cole greeted. “I was happy to see your grade climb back up after your concussion made them take a nose dive.”

Steve nodded, keeping his fingers crossed behind his back. “I tried as hard as I could.”

“Well it really paid off,” Mr. Cole said. “Because you have more than enough credits to graduate.”

Steve stared at him in shock as his guidance counselor handed him his file. He flipped through it and sure enough, he already had all the credits he needed. In fact, he could have graduated early if it wasn’t for Mrs. Hall.

“Thanks to you,” he breathed.

“They aren’t the best grades,” Mr. Cole admonished. “But they are good enough to get you across that stage.”

Steve nodded and handed the file back to him. He walked back to his table.

One by one all the kids were called and while there were happy kids and wailing tears, it was hard to tell the graduating from those that weren’t.

After everyone had been called and told that they could go home, the four of them sat at the table, waiting for everyone else to file out.

“Valedictorian!” Janice crowed. “I made it, baby!”

“I’m graduating too,” Marty said. “Barely. I just have to make sure I don’t fail Mrs. McDonald’s final and I’m good to go.”

“Eddie?” Steve asked instead of giving his own news. Because his didn’t matter. Not when his boyfriend, the best and brightest person Steve had ever met, (and yes that did include Nancy Wheeler) was curled up on himself, staring at the table.

“No, man,” Marty said, “not again...”

Eddie just nodded. “I was doing the work. I was turning it in. I thought the grades I was getting back were enough, but they weren’t.”

Steve wrapped his arms around him and just let Eddie’s tears soak into the collar of his shirt.

His poor beautiful Eddie. He wished he had done more to make sure he graduated.

But now it was too late.

****

Steve threw Eddie a pool party to make him feel better about not graduating again. Something that Steve really shouldn’t have done if he wanted to avoid the question.

“Come on, Stevie!” Eddie called from the side of the pool. “The water is fine. Stop being the babysitter for two seconds and enjoy your pool, babe.”

The kids still didn’t know they were a couple, but they had gotten used to the endearments that Eddie threw out on a regular basis. They all got nicknames and endearments. Max was Red, Dustin was Dusty, Lucas was Strider and so on. So they didn’t even bat an eyelash at his use of ‘babe’ to describe Steve.

Mike rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Steve never gets in the pool. If he wasn’t on the swim team, I would have had assumed that he can’t.”

Eddie got out of the pool and Steve’s eyes trailed down his torso, following each drop of water as they ran for his waistband. Eddie smirked as he got really close. Steve closed his eyes to block out the dirty thoughts that went off in his head like church bells, loud and deep.

Vaguely behind him he could hear Nancy hissing at Mike, but he couldn’t hear what she said over the rushing in his ears of the blood traveling southward the closer Eddie got. He gulped heavily. Eddie cupped Steve’s cheek tenderly and Steve leaned into the touch. He didn’t care who noticed their casual affection. He was starting to shake like a leaf and not just from the way his boyfriend looked like sex on legs, either.

Quietly as though it was a secret between them Eddie said, “Is this about the comic?”

Steve’s lips quivered as he nodded, his eyes still closed. “They all know except...” he waved vaguely at the Corroded Coffin boys.

“Do you want me to kill Mike?” Eddie asked with a grin.

Steve fought to tamp down on his answering smile, but it broke through anyway. “I think one death is enough.”

He paused with a frown and looked behind Eddie where apparently everyone had gathered. In that brief moment, their silence had made Steve’s answer as loud as if it had been had been a shout.

“Shit, man,” Mike mumbled. “I’m sorry. I forgot.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped. “It’s not a big deal. I still swim. Just not here. And I act as lifeguard for everyone. It’s fine. Honest.”

Nancy chewed on her lip, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist.

Jeff winced. “Yeah, I think we all forgot that Barb vanished from here. Not that we forgot about her,” he added waving his hands at Nancy’s dark glare. “It’s just so easy to forget it impacted more people then you’d think.”

Nancy nodded and let herself be comforted by Jonathan.

Steve pushed Mike into the pool causing a large splash and suddenly the tension was gone. The laughter and fun returned. He breathed a sigh of relief and Eddie wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist.

He leaned in close, “You gonna be okay, babe?”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I guess it’s good they know,” he said, indicating the Corroded Coffin boys. “So I don’t get freaked out and hurt someone.”

“You’d never,” Eddie soothed.

Steve smiled warmly at Eddie and Jonathan and Nancy shared a knowing smile. He bumped Eddie’s shoulder with his own.

“Where did you learn to swim?” Steve asked turning back to sit sit on his lounge chair.

Eddie grinned. “Wayne taught me the first time we went camping up at Lover’s Lake.”

He sat down in the V of Steve’s legs and lifted one so that it was on his lap.

“How old were you?” Steve asked, basking in the attention Eddie was giving him despite the two of them not being out to Steve’s ducklings.

Eddie hummed for a moment as he thought. “I guess I was about seven or eight. My dad was in jail for the first time and my mom needed the weekend to recoup after an especially long week at work. So Wayne offered to take me camping for the weekend. Back when was he was young, wild and free.”

Steve bumped him with his knee. “Which he doesn’t regret exchanging for you a second.”

Eddie blushed. “No, but with me it meant taking a responsibility he never planned. He could have found someone, settled down, had a family of his own. I could have had nieces or nephews if I hadn’t been dumped on his doorstep.”

Steve sat up and turned Eddie’s chin toward him. “And you would have been lost in the system and hurt far worse then if he hadn’t taken you in.”

Eddie smiled. “You just want Uncle Wayne all to yourself.”

Steve laughed. “You caught me!” He began to tickle Eddie’s sides, causing the other boy to jump and squeal.

“Fiend!” Eddie cried as he scrambled off the lounger to get away. He leapt to his feet and then grabbed the lounger and flipped it.

Steve let out a squawk of surprise and landed on the cement with a thud and a laugh.

Dustin swam over to Gareth, figuring him to be the least scary of Eddie’s friends and whispered. “Are they always like this?”

Gareth scoffed. “No.”

Dustin sighed. “Oh thank go–”

“Sometimes they’re worse,” Gareth bit out, before wading back into deeper waters.

Dustin looked over at the pair of them, cocking his head thoughtfully to the side. There was something more to their friendship, but he couldn’t quite place what it was. Then Max splashed him and suddenly the thought was gone.

****

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

As for why it doesn't bother Nancy? That's because it's not her pool. She can go home while the sun is still out. While Steve has to hear the lapping of the water day in and day out. Has to see it in the dead of night, like the night Barb disappeared.

Tag List:

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666

@goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

@useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911

@birbsauce @acingthecounts @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @kultiras

[fighting-these-demons]

Royal Flush Haunted Honk - The Updated Bones!

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a Horror Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

It is based on the idea in the post that is linked above.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

Also the majority of the brainstorming is happening in the replies if you're so inclined.

--------------------------------

Behold! The Update! It's the bare bones intro and the outline! It's 2.5K! Whoops! 😅

Some of this is just straight copy and pasted from the notes and other bits have been lightly reworded or built upon to connect to other bits.

I've gotten some scenes sent to me by @thedragonchilde that I loved and I think will fit in well with what we've got so far for the fic.

If you'd like to link or reblog them please do!

@amplexadversary feel free to message me or reblog with scenes you've thought up or written up! I can't wait to read them!

I think we've set the stage pretty well to start brainstorming the horror and whump! 😃

I'll see y'all in the replies for ideas on new plot points! 🪦💥🌩

-----------------------------

This is backstory and general outline only.

It is barely edited. Typos abound.

The dialogue is extremely minimal and it is a framework upon which to build the fic. 💖

I am giving this explanation for the benefit of internet strangers as all parties working on this fic are already familiar.

Hello Internet strangers! 👋

--------------------------------

Wherever the tendrils of the Devil Gundam hovered over the earth, and subsequently were destroyed, are places that may have had DG cells distributed through the atmosphere.

Atmospheric DG plumes have lead to DG infection in those areas. There's also likely tendril debris.

Neo-Japan, since the Devil Gundam's destruction,  has been working with Neo and world governments on a cure for DG infection.

At the moment the current treatment involves Kyoji or Schwarz controlling the DG cells of the individual and shutting them down; however, they are making breakthroughs with advancements on a nanocite injection that they're synthesizing with an executable program that shuts the DG cells down.

The biological compatibilities are the hurdle at the moment as evidenced in animal testing.

Kyoji and Domon are traveling to some sites in the USA that were affected by tendrils. Domon is there as a body guard since Schwarz is handling infection cases elsewhere (unspecified).

Chibodee is their escort. America is a Different Beast to Japan even in the future. So they'll need an escort to get through the militant landscape and across the sheer distance of it all.

Rain wanted to come with them, but with the volatility of the current landscape of the US - Especially where they're going - Kyoji didn't want to needlessly risk her safety.

He's assured her that Domon, Chibodee, and Chibodee's team will be watching his back.

Dr. Kasshu will be with them for the first days in New York to help with setup of the mobile lab before heading back to Neo Japan to continue working alongside Rain.

Once they've rested and are ready to head out, Domon, Chibodee, Kyoji, and The Gals will take Neo America's Core Lander and a mobile lab to the TD Site and it should be a fairly straight forward affair since they've gotten permission from the national and state governments, as well as permission from Gunsinto to be in the area.

They shouldn't be more than a few days travel to get there and retrieve samples and data and get back. He should be gone a week at the absolute most.

Kyoji gives rain the contact info to their hotel in New York as well as their sponsored Gunsinto accommodations in the Midwest and lets her know that he'll call once they've arrived palnetside.

He makes good on that promise the next day, letting Rain know that their shuttle landed, Chibodee and the girls picked them up without hassle, and lets them know that they're set to have a great dinner at a favorite restaurant of Chibodee's that evening.

Seeing Chibodee is like a breathe of fresh air that Domon didn't know he needed. Life has been so needlessly complicated lately but after Chibodee releases him from the bear hug given in greeting and throws an arm over Domon's shoulders they fall into step as if they'd never been apart.

Keeping in touch wasn't exactly easy. Domon doesn't respond quite as often as Chibidee would like, but every message Chibodee left was listened to and saved.

Ever since they got wind of this mission it's all either of them has had on their minds for days.

I need some help here with feelings and dialogue and inner thoughts but Basically

They both independently realize with clarity over the days leading up and the time in New York how much they've missed each other and how easy and comfortable it all is - being teamed up again.

Domons semi-recent revelations and feelings fresh on his mind. Chibodees crush ever looming.

Hearts racing. Feeling lighter than they have in God Knows How Long. Chibodee smiling so much his face cramps. Domon feeling so comfortable and nearly zen he loses his permanent frown from constantly thinking and just vibes. Smiling occasionally even!

Chibodee proposes they spar real quick before dinner "To work up an appetite! And C'mon! I wanna see what I'm up against in the upcoming Gundam Fight!" With a grin slamming his left fist into his open right hand. (He's left handed right? Or was that someone else?)

They Spar and there's Feelings

(I have a small scene outline put together for the spar for your consideration. @thedragonchilde has submit 2 scenes that would be great for just after the spar and are an awesome read! I'll include my outline for the spar scene in a reblog)

Then they have dinner together and later part to settle in their hotel rooms for the evening. 

The next day they focus on briefing the expedition and setting up the Mobile Lab that The Gals will be in charge of transporting. 

Once the lab is set up, they see Dr. Kasshu off on his shuttle back to Neo Japan that has been on standby since they arrived.

Kyoji volunteers to ride with The Gals under the excuse of getting a head start on some data processing - to give Domon and Chibodee some time alone together. 

Chibodee is not about to let himself be alone in a Core Lander with Domon for HOURS. He may blurt out something he regrets. He insists that Kyoji ride with them and leave the Gals to themselves.

As they make their way out west, Chibodee starts explaining why they'll want to keep their guard up. 

There's been a lot of unrest recently and especially the last 10 years since Gunsinto bought out the last of their land and displaced so many communities. 

Domon asks occasional questions but Kyoji isn't saying much of anything at all. Opting to rest most of the journey. Domon seems tense, which is understandable considering the events before they left New York. 

Suddenly they hear gunfire and what might be a canon of some kind. 

They expected resistance outside of Gunsinto territory but they didn't expect it after they crossed the border!

Aren't the Greenlords supposed to be patrolling the area???

So they're on the run from a group that blames Domon and Kyoji for all the bullshit post DG Incident. The group is made up of various parties working together to hold Neo Japan responsible for their crimes against humanity since nothing held up in court and Neo Japan is currently in control. Plus near endless bitterness at America's loss of Super Power status for decades and the effect that that has had on their economy and natural resources put under stress from these Big Space Battles. 

Chibodee and The Gals are aware of THIS group of violent individuals… but they're not aware of the OTHER group of violent individuals. (The Clown gangs are kept under wraps by the Greenlords - Gunsinto's private militia similar to to the Pinkertons as going public would be an embarrassment and an open invitation to more trespassers.)

They have a good idea of what weapons they have at their disposal and what their general tactics are. 

They decide to split up and have The Gals create a distraction to lure the majority of the aggressors off before rendezvousing close to the TD Site in this region.

After they split, the core lander has some issues and breaks down in the middle of nowhere. As they break down Kyoji has an awful headache. There's a terrible signal he can feel and he knows it affected the core lander's processors but he's not sure what it is. 

(It's a device that broadcasts a malicious signal that infects the processing units of hovering vehicles - was gonna be an emp but realized that would mess up their gps. It has only a very mild effect on DG cells it seems. Their GPS was made by the Kasshus with DG tech so it's unaffected. - Their communicator was issued by Gunsinto and was not so lucky - it's dead.)

Luckily for them their map data integrated into their GPS shows there should be a former town nearby.

The nearest town is seemingly abandoned. There's simply not enough water here according to Chibodee. 

The only building not completely crumbled is a lone Motel. Chibodee curses his Rotten Fucking Luck. (Clown Music!)

They're exhausted from carrying their emergency supplies through the heat of the day. They're not going any further. This will have to be it. Domon is clearly tense and Chibidee seems about to jump out of his skin but Kyoji doesn't really know why. He could be over sensitive after sitting with their tension in the core lander and then walking with them through the heat. 

Chibodee considers attempting to convince them to camp outside but with the wind picking up as bad as it is, he has no leg to stand on. They'll be sleeping inside. 

Strange though. There's a light on. That's odd.

----------------------

Meanwhile The Gals have incapacitated the pursuers after radioing in help from the Greenlords who are cooperating on this mission. 

They're of course like “Whaaaaaat? That's Crazyyyyyyyyy.” And don't breathe a word of the Other Issue inside The Fields. Instead electing to simply refuel the mobile lab and send some extra men with The Gals as escort.

The girls start back on their journey to Rendevous with the guys. 

The arrive at the TD Site with no sign of the guys. After waiting 2 hours they decide to try and ping their location. 

There's no result. What they assumed was poor signal is worrying them now.

As they double back in the direction the guys should have been coming from they discover the crashed Core Lander and some prints headed South West.

They check their maps of the area which indicate a former town a few miles south west. They hop in their mobile lab and head that way. 

When they make it to the town, the only standing structure is a Clown Themed Motel that looks like it was pulled straight out of a historical classic horror film. 

They share a look. There's no way Chibodee would be here. They decide to check for other towns and head further south.  Eventually as it starts to get dark the escort advises that they head to the designated accommodations for the evening and the Greenlords will start a search.

Kyoji kept his word to Rain that he and his father would check in when they arrived in New York. When the second day stretches on with no word Rain starts to worry.

Her father has made it home, but she's still heard no word from Kyoji.

On Rain's 5th call in as many hours -at about 2:00 AM- The Gals answer.... it's Bad News.

They've been separated by a roaming militia group hellbent on serving American Justice to these Neo Japan Planet Destroyers. The Gals were supposed to Rendevous with Chibodee and the guys at the TD site but they never showed and they didn't find them on their way to the Gunsinto Accomodations either.

The Gals reassure her that the Greenlords and Gunsinto are starting a search and they should have word soon.

Dread starts to settle in the pit of Rain's stomach.

------------

Meanwhile The Guys walk into the Hotel expecting it to be abandoned. It certainly looks that way from the outside. 

As they walk in though, they meet a rather average looking man smoking a cigar and watching some movies on a TV in the corner of the dark Lobby. 

He looks surprised (he isnt) and quickly stubs out his cigar in the ash tray nearby before walking into the only light in the lobby by the front desk.

He welcomes them with a smile and asks how many guests. Letting them know that unfortunately he's only got one room available and There's Only the One Bed. He asks if that's alright.

Chibodee sputters. Shocked that there's someone here at all. He asks as much and the man says that the Hotel is a side business of the Greenlords’ for “Employee Services” if you catch his drift.

Average guy asks after them as he's never seen them before. Kyoji has a bad feeling and smooths things over by advising that they're there as horticultural graduate students studying genetic modification with their Professor and a few other students. Kyoji tells a tale of how they got separated in the fields and this was the closest area with shelter according to their map data.

The Average guy is surprised to hear that they have a functioning GPS and says that this area has bad signal. It's a blessing they can find their way.

He directs them to their room and leaves back toward the lobby.

Kyoji has a bad feeling. He can sense a ton of corrupted DG cells nearby. Somewhere underground, but isn't sure why or what it means. 

He also keeps getting flashes of screaming men and women in clown costumes….

He relays as much to Domon privately as Chibodee is clearly already on edge and doesn't need any more stress. 

Kyoji asks Domon if Chibodee is alright. Domon informs him that clowns and clown imagery is a problem but there's really nothing they can do about it in this situation. His fists are clenched. Domon i's pissed they have to stay here.

Kyoji takes a moment to let Domon know he'll take the floor and for Chibodee and Domon to take the bed. This throws Domon for a loop, but before he can argue Kyoji insists that out of the 3 of them he can probably take the most stress and that Chibodee looks like he needs someone to sleep next to. 

Kyoji also mentions that he'll be blocking his hearing on a nano level to give them privacy in case they need to talk. Domon is a bit flustered by this but decides to take it in stride and go to Chibodee who is pacing and silently melting down. He looks like he's about to both through the window and back into the fields. 

Domon puts a hand on Chibodee’s shoulder and suggests they go ahead and bunk down for the night. 

He and Domon each take a seat on the end of the bed while Kyoji remains standing and they discuss Watch Rotation.

It'll probably be better to have 2 people awake and 1 person resting at any given time.

None of them trust this guy at the front desk. Especially not Kyoji.

-------------------------

Not sure how to segue from bunking down to the horror bit below gracefully; but I know we need to.

I feel like it's the perfect time for Domon and Chibodee to take Kyoji up on his offer of audible privacy to have a quick heart to heart..... before it's unfortunately and terrifyingly interrupted. 😨

Mostly because I'm mean. 😂

-----------------------

My first thought for 4 is that it probably looks like a normal-ass bed but in the middle of the night when both the guys are like half asleep, a clown hand bursts up from the center of the mattress in a classic zombie style Then an improbable amount slowly crawl out of that same hole as Chibodee drags Domon to the door (Domon for his credit is ready to beat a clown with another clown)

Since the FC does have the lightest touch of Newtype bullshit (mostly seen in the Schwarz/Rain chase scene where Schwarz gets the newtype flash), I'm interested in it being ghosts because the NT thing sometimes goes that way.

Ghosts usually have some kind of backstory as to why they're around, and I think it fits the setting to have a sort of clown culture war going on

so you have gangs like the one that killed Chibodee's mom, and then you get ordinary clowns going vigilante to hunt the ones that do that down for flagrant violation of the clown code

But the problem with vigilantism is you sometimes get the wrong guy, so that eventually happens and another group of clowns goes vigilante to go after the first group because they've gone bad (doesn't matter whether or not this is true for our purposes). And then you get more guys like the original circus terrorists playing themselves off as vigilantes as an excuse to kill people.

So now you have a clown gang war and more clown terrorists than you started with. And with the other problems Earth and the Colonies have it isn't *really* a big enough deal for anyone outside of the business to really care, so you get a sort of uneasy status quo with occasional bursts of clown violence.

The motel in question has a ghost problem because it's a former base of operations of a clown gang, where they would frequently dispose of their clown victims.

Chibodee is not at all aware of this. Or else he never would have agreed to this. He would have had some sort if Military backup. Gunsinto and The Greenlords have kept this under wraps to avoid broadcasting their farm territory as terrorist territory.

The clowns were affected by DG cells pre-murder and with Kyoji nearby they seem to be activating.

Yikes.

Kyoji can affect DG cells in a lof of situations... but can he affect them to his advantage here???

-----------------------

Stay Tuned to Find Out!

[princesssarisa]

I've seen a lot of complaints lately about the lack of romance in recent Disney movies. Do you think Disney's next princess movie should give the heroine a love interest? (not counting Moana 2 because I seriously doubt they'll give Moana a LI in the sequel)

I think it would be nice to see Disney bring back romance.

They've certainly made enough romance-free movies to drive home the point that girls don't need romantic love to be complete. And for many of us, the love stories are some of the best parts of Disney's animated movies of yesteryear.

That said, if they do give the next Princess a love interest, I hope they don't fall back into the same formula of "bickering to friends to lovers" that they kept repeating for a while. Tiana and Naveen, Rapunzel and Flynn, Anna and Kristoff, Judy and Nick if you ship them... while each of those pairings do have unique qualities and appeal, it's still a little bit formulaic. Disney almost seemed to have forgotten that a romance arc doesn't need to be either "bickering to friends to lovers" or old-school Love at First Sight.

As far as I'm concerned, the Disney Renaissance was the golden age of Disney love stories, because each couple had a unique relationship arc and dynamic. Ariel and Eric's gentle, fun-loving teenage romance – closer than the others to old-school Love at First Sight, but handled in a fresh, modern-feeling way. Belle and the Beast's blend of a rom com-style "bickering to friends to lovers" arc with sweeping Gothic Romanticism, which somehow works beautifully despite the difference between those two genres. Aladdin and Jasmine's bonding of kindred spirits and shared longings, and the conflict caused by their class gap and Aladdin's self-doubt. Simba and Nala's bantering childhood friendship that grows into adult love. Pocahontas and John Smith's Romeo and Juliet-style forbidden passion. Quasimodo, Esmeralda and Phoebus's love triangle that ends in happy romance for the latter two and warm friendship that both share with Quasi. Hercules and Meg's arc of "innocent, kind-hearted boy teaches hardened, cynical girl to love again," combined with Meg's redemption arc as she breaks free from Hades. Mulan and Shang's comradeship-in-arms that ends with a hint at future romance. Tarzan and Jane's bonding through exploring each other's worlds and then each having to choose between their own world and the other's.

Each of these love stories is unique and special in its own way. I hope that when Disney finally decides to do romance again, they'll break away from all earlier formulas and make it just as fresh and unique as those past examples.

[amazinglyegg]

Paladin Danse headcanons because I love this little dude

Doesn't like being talked about behind his back, even if they're saying positive things about him. If he's talking about someone not in the room he's bringing up the things he said in that conversation next time he sees them because he thinks they deserve to hear the praise/critique.

Never really looks at the little things in life. The smell of brewing coffee, the way the sun rises over the trees, the calming ambient chatter of a shared living space... it all goes unnoticed by him. He finds himself thinking about the future constantly, and it takes someone who consciously points it all out to him for him to learn to live in the present more.

LOVES learning, although that passion dies down a bit while he's in the Brotherhood, partially due to grief/trauma and partially due to the Brotherhood indirectly teaching soldiers that outsiders are bad and the Brotherhood is always right. His love gets rekindled when he joins the Minutemen.

Doesn't really believe he has PTSD and pushes away medical help because he sort of feels offended that he was diagnosed despite his skepticism. The type of person to think "I don't have PTSD because I don't have any flashbacks, I just have nightmares and intrusive thoughts and sometimes I feel the same overwhelming emotions I felt when the trauma happened... but none of those are flashbacks!" (spoiler alert, man, not all flashbacks look like they do in movies).

Touch starved but not in the "cute clingy boyfriend" way. More like the "cringing away from touch because it's physically painful" way. He hasn't gotten any sort of physical contact in SO LONG and it's seriously fucking with him.

I was going to make a separate post about this but this man would fucking LOVE laser tag. He would be IN HIS ELEMENT. He would be THRIVING. Let this guy play a game of laser tag with some other soldiers please it would be great enrichment for him.

Strangely passionate about socks. Yes, socks. Do you have any idea how GOOD high quality socks feel?? If you complain about any sort of foot pain he has sock brand recommendations for you. He's the sock equivalent of "It's 'cause you're always on that damn phone" that parents use. "Danse my head hurts" "It's because you didn't get the socks I recommended to you" "????"

Will drink as a social activity, but mostly drinks alone. Also a sad drunk.

Would love any and all fidget toys he gets his hands on. Probably refuses to use them because most of them are colorful and "toys", but if you manage to sneak a fidget cube or a tangle in his hands while he's sitting around? That bitch will be used non-stop until he leaves it somewhere and forgets about it. Will probably adjust whatever action he's doing so he can keep one hand free to keep fidgeting.

Doesn't like anything that sticks to his hands or makes a mess on surfaces, like slime, putty, paint, mud, etc. If you hand him slime he will touch it once and then leave to go wash his hands.

Sleeps hot, probably without a blanket often because he overheats. Tosses and turns a lot. Does that thing where he can sleep through basically anything but the second you try to tiptoe past him he will shoot awake.

Keeps Cutler's and Krieg's dog tags in his bedside drawer. Doesn't do so with anyone else's, not because he doesn't care about any of his other teammates who died, but because he knows if he let himself keep doing that the drawer would get filled way too quickly. That realization was at about the same time he "toughened up" a lot more and fell into the commanding officer mindset he's still in today.

Doesn't like needles. He'll get shots and whatever if he needs to, obviously, but unlike most other undesirable things he'll actually complain about it a bit instead of acting like the tough guy. Probably looks away whenever he needs to get stitches.

Eats a ton of food, not so much water. Will absolutely demolish several servings of pasta and then complain of a dehydration headache, completely unaware that the last time he drank water was 7 hours ago.

Likes training new recruits, makes him a bit nostalgic for the old days with him and Cutler. Tends to be a bit soft with the ones that really remind him of Cutler, but in the type of way where he pulls them aside just to say "You did really well today :)" completely oblivious that the poor initiate assumed they were going to get reprimanded and are now having a mini panic attack.

[glittercakes]

Which headcanons do you have about the Koopalings?

Let’s see…

The age order from oldest to youngest is Ludwig (18), Lemmy (17), Roy (16), Iggy (15), Wendy (14), Morton (13), and finally Larry (12).

The Koopalings are Bowser’s adopted children and you can pry that from my cold dead hands (I do not care what Miyamoto has to say about this). He was a little concerned when he kept finding random abandoned Dragon Koopa babies, but he still took them all in.

Lemmy and Iggy have the same parents, but Iggy was still an egg when they got adopted and didn’t hatch until after Roy came into the picture

For the most part, they have their personalities from the cartoons (except Ludwig is a musician/strategist and his mad scientist/inventor shtick goes to Iggy instead).

Whatever social media exists in the Mushroom Kingdom, you just know that Wendy is not only on it, but she also has tons of followers.

Morton’s caveman speak thing in Color Splash (I refuse to believe that the Paper Mario universe is separated from the main one, each post-Super game had a papery world due to magical means. I may explain this further in a future post) was a result of a concussion. Just like the cartoons, he’s a verbose guy with an inability to shut up.

A little sadder, but also in Color Splash, Black Bowser drained each Koopaling of color after their defeat, as a warning to the others to not fail. Obviously, Bowser would not have done such a thing if he was not possessed. Mario was able to restore them after the events of the game.

Funnily enough, Lemmy is the closest to Bowser Jr while Iggy is the least close.

Ludwig’s preferred instrument is the piano, but he also occasionally plays other elegant instruments like the violin or flute.

Morton is actually a really good poet, it’s just that his poems tend to go on forever.

Lemmy has a circus with some other members of the Koopa Troop.

Bowser gave the Chomp from Super Mario RPG to Iggy, as he absolutely loves Chain Chomps.

Wendy is one of the best swimmers and figure skaters in the Mushroom Kingdom (that’s why she normally takes the water and ice worlds in the main series games).

Whenever they aren’t in a game, it’s usually because they decide to take a vacation (typically somewhere that is coincidentally away from the main action).

Lemmy is really clumsy whenever he isn’t on top of one of his balls.

Larry is a really good tennis player.

Before Bowser’s Minions came out and disproved it, I liked the idea that the reason they helped Bowletta during the endgame of Superstar Saga was because Jr was being threatened.

Roy may not look like it, but he loves sappy rom-coms (bring it up and you’re dead, though).

Iggy is responsible for the upkeep of most of the Koopalings’ gear, such as their wands, clown cars, and even things like Wendy’s rings and Lemmy’s balls.

Larry has a massive sweet tooth, thus he will sometimes literally take candy from a baby.

Ludwig uses past defeats as inspiration for his symphonies.

Roy wears sunglasses due to light sensitivity.

Finally, they all love Bowser despite his many faults, and he loves them right back.

And that’s it! Feel free to add to this if you want!

[asksythe]

Commed. Artist: Duckie Beam

I want to write a post-FGO dark romance Oberon/Ritsuka story featuring Single-Dad!Oberon and Dead-Mom!Ritsuka.

It's my third attempt at writing a dark romance story, with different interpretations of dark and the characters themselves. Out of the three attempts so far, this one seems to have excited @erimies the most. I get why. It's my most poetic so far.

I have given it a name...

Apple, Apple in the Skies

The story is styled around gothic fairy tales and dark nursery rhymes, in which Oberon effectively becomes a single dad to a flock of terrorist children, all of whom remind him of the woman he loves, who hurt him beyond anything he has ever known in his thousands of years of existence. The children are feral little gremlins born of Riri's flesh and Oberon's heart.

The plot goes something like this:

Ritsuka Fujimaru's journey ends. The world is saved and humanity is secured, but she herself dies. She dies not in battles but at the hands of the very mages she saved, who go after her to make her a subject to study and harvest.

Oberon watches it all go down, watches Ritsuka being butchered by the people she fought for. And there's not a thing he can do about it.

Centuries pass. Humanity is now stagnating, trying to break into the Age of Wills and failing. Some secret components are missing.

The mages of the future believe the key to their ascension lies with the Last Master of Humanity. Examining the impossible miracles she performed and her extraordinary link with the heroic spirits, they believe she accidentally and unknowingly created a doorway between flesh and blood humans and ether-liner existences (ala Age of Wills humans).

If only they had the still-living specimen to experiment with! But alas! The foolish, wasteful, and shortsighted mages of the past already wasted such prime research materials! They cut her up into pieces and used her body as reagents for frivolous projects. And when those projects failed, they paraded her body around as trophies. A lock of hair here. An eyeball there, pickled in primordial juice. The hand with the command codes still in tact. Pieces of skin and teeth and some pulled nails with the crusted blood still stuck to them.

The petty king of some nation boasts of having her entire preserved spleen as house decor. What wasteful, gross misconduct as magi researchers!! Now their descendants have no more of the prime original materials to work with.

But needs must. So several wars break out in order for different groups to claim the remains of Riri's preserved body.

They start experimenting with these parts. One group has a success, using the hand with the command codes, they create a genetic clone of Riri, and then use this clone as catalyst in a summoning ritual, hoping to call forth a rare extra class servant.

Oberon answers the call, and, of course, promptly massacres all the mages and steals the cloned child away. In no time at all, Oberon susses out the existence of other research cells carrying out their own attempts at cloning the original Last Master. He goes after them, hitting them guerilla style and stealing any successful clones they manage to create.

The story is propelled forward by Oberon's desperate drive to free all the little morsels of Riri and the human's efforts to corner him. The mages are fascinated with Oberon's devotion to Ritsuka even after her death and the cessation of their contract.

.

.

.

I want to examine the layers of Oberon in this scenario. He's such a fascinating and complex character. I just can't help but want to play with such a well-written and designed character. I want to see how far he will stretch and bend, see if I can break and remold him and make it convincing somehow! Ergo... why this story idea goes to such dark places.

I want to explore the trauma of having to see the one existence he loves be butchered and he himself is completely helpless, incapable of doing a single thing. Then I want to explore the whorls of his warped feelings upon hearing that impossible, familiar call all the way in the Throne of Heroes, and then rushing to answer that call only to see the flesh of the woman he loves be used to make a walking, talking facsimile of her.

How does he feel when he looks upon the cloned child bearing her eyes and her face and her hand upon which the command codes are emblazoned? What does he think when he decides to steal the child away with him into the night?

It's Ritsuka but it's not Ritsuka. It's some child who is the physical manifestation of Ritsuka's violation at the hands of the mages. But this child will grow up to look exactly like Ritsuka, and maybe one day she will look at Oberon exactly like Ritsuka did centuries ago when he first fell into this horrifying, inescapable abyss called love.

His feelings for Ritsuka would be warped too, because how can it not in the face of Oberon's suffering over the centuries after her passing? He loves her but he doesn't trust her. Because she has shown before that she can't be trusted with her own safety.

He loves her. He wants her to be happy. He doesn't trust her. He can't let her leave. He clips her wings and tells her to stay forever. Oberon as a character should be aware of his own misplaced, warped feelings. He's too internally conscious not to. But being conscious doesn't mean he can do anything about it. Like how he was in LB6, laughing at himself in the end.

Once more, Oberon chases after an ephemeral dream forever out of his reach. She is gone, and they will never meet. He doesn't even get to hold her and take her into the abyss with him in her final moment like he said he would. All of that repressed yearning and how did it end up? He's once more stuck in hell of a different kind.

My plan is that eventually, Oberon resolves to treat the clones as Ritsuka's children. He tries to teach the cloned children what he believes the original Riri should have known. He teaches them to fight, to survive, to run away, to scheme and deceive, to be ruthless. He believes this is what Riri should have done to avoid her grisly fate, but even when he talks of her in his barbed way to the children who never know her, slivers of the woman he loves come through.

The Riri clones all possess the ability to see right through Oberon, just like the original Riri.

The story becomes Sad single-dad Oberon rearing a flock of feral children as they go about terrorizing the mages and detonating all of their research facilities, stealing away more clones and any morsels of the original Riri's body.

.

.

.

The ending is fairly straightforward. Oberon is cornered by the mages. At the end of the day, a masterless servant against the totality of the mage's resources is not a fair fight. Oberon makes a production out of his own death, a fitting exit for a Fairy King / Terminal Device. But in doing so, he makes sure his flock is grown and strong and escapes the mage's eyes after the final battle.

The children take his lesson to heart. They lie. They scheme. They deceive. They are ruthless just as he wants them to. And they survive just like he wants them to. They disguise themselves and slip into the great mass of humanity. They infiltrate human governance and magi high society. They avenge their fallen father and mother.

Yep, the clones are children of Ritsuka's flesh and Oberon's heart. Imagine a flock of feral gremlins with Ritsuka's determination and insight into human hearts but with Oberon's social savvy, ruthlessness, and sheer brain power. Now imagine them all on a roaring rampage of revenge for their father and mother. Not only will they slaughter all the mages and anyone having to do with their parent's death, they will suborn the mage's great project itself.

.

.

.

The finale of the story is the scene where all the now grown-up children come together to witness the pinnacle of their achievement. Having suborned the mage's dream to propel humans toward the age of wills, they carry it out in a way they think their mother would have liked.

More than that, using their combined knowledge and the magi tech after centuries of mesing around with servant summoning and splicing human genes, they find the heroic spirit Ritsuka Fujimaru and create an interlock binding between her and the terminal device Oberon Vortigern.

No good children want to see their parents separated in such a tragedy, don't they? So of course, after avenging them, the children would make it a goal to reunite mother and father.

The children are clones of Riri, but they are not Riri. They each hold a piece of her, so they instinctively know what she would have liked and the guilt she bears, knowing what happens to Oberon once she passes away. It is a regret so strong it persists even after she dies.

.

.

.

I have 2 endings in mind:

Ending 1: the sad ending. Oberon gets his wish of 'dying together' with Ritsuka as their saint graphs are merged into one.

Ending 2: the earn your happy ending. the children incarnate Oberon and Ritsuka into 'new age-of-will human' bodies. They have a second chance at life, growing up together. Final scene of this ending would b tiny Oberon and tiny Ritsuka playing in an orchard in space and falling asleep underneath the shade of an apple tree. This is Erimies' preferred ending!

.

.

.

Some lines from reborn Oberon's perspective in the second ending.

"I want to pull your pigtails and push you on the swing, laugh at you for being clumsy, and skinning your knees while patching you up. What a crybaby you are, never leave me again."

.

.

I also wrote nursery rhymes for this story!

Apple, apple on the tree,

Whisper secrets, dark and free.

Shadows dance in moonlit night.

Lonely branches weep for thee.

Beneath the branches, children play.

In the orchard, lost their way.

Apple, apple on the tree.

Hold our childhood's reverie.

Leaves have fallen, seasons passed,

Memories of joy don't last.

Apple, apple in the skies,

Silent witness to goodbyes.

Ah, still pretty rough. They need polishing for sure. But I like some verses and how they sound.

If I ever get around to writing this, I would like to commission an HTML skin for AO3 so that readers will read the story like they are reading the pages of an old fairy tale book.

Something like this, probably.

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

I don't know if you want to answer this, feel free to ignore if you want!

So my brother (25) is autistic and also currently deals with depression. Lately his energy is really low. (He's on meds and goes to therapy) He is very certain that he will never be able to work full time and questions weather he'll be able to have kids one day etc. He was diagnosed as an adult and I fell like he struggles with comming to terms with the fact that what he imagined his life would be like will look very different. He is also generally a pretty pessimistic person. But he literally said he can't see a future where is energy level will ever get better and that he is very concerned about his future, also saying he has bascially 'written off' his current situation as well.

He has only started to struggle with energy and mental health issues in the last years and used to pass as neurotypical for a long while. He is very active, regularly plays sports and has a lot of friends he spends time with.

Do you have any idea what I could say to him to make him more optimistic? I know he has the right to struggle with all the things that are difficult currently but I have struggled with mental health in the past and the thing that I always need to get me through it is the hope/knowledge that it'll get better at some point. I really don't want him to feel like the worst days he has are going to be everything he'll have to look forward to in life.

Hey! It seems like your brother could be going through autistic burnout. This is often the result of masking too long (pretending to be/appearing neurotypical), it can cause a lot of physical and mental issues to the autistic person.

It sounds like you greatly care for him, which is wonderful! You can always remind him that things can get better. Be sure to throw some genuine compliments his way. But it's also worth noting that for some, optimism isn't the only thing they need. It might be better to take time and allow him to talk and vent his feelings. Sometimes the best way to help someone is to be there go listen and understand.

[davenswitcher]

I got tagged by the wonderful @cinnamontails-ff for WIP Wednesday!

I'll be showing two wips that I have.

WIP Wednesday:

To be or not to be

TW: parents are shitty, heartbreak, maybe unhealthy coping mechanism, parents dictate their sons future

Chapter 1: The Stage Is Yours

Astarion loved the theatre. The creativity, the beauty of witnessing a live performance and forgetting any problems he currently has for a few hours. So, it came to no surprise when he joined a theatre club back in high school to the disappointment of his parents. His parents loathed the idea of him eventually becoming an actor. Acting does not pay bills and leisure, they said, and hoped it’s just a phase.

So, when he graduated and told them his plans and what he wants to study, his parents couldn’t believe their ears. He and his parents never fought badly, mind you. But this must be the most heated argument he ever had with his parents in his 22 years of living.

“You can’t be serious Astarion! Acting is a poor man’s profession! Do you want to ruin our reputation? Our family consists of a long line of magistrates and doctors. So, naturally, you will study law. End of discussion!” His father scowled. His anger could rival that of a barbarian.

“Father, please.” Astarion pleaded, “I can not see myself locked in an office overseeing cases and making judgments for the rest of my life. I’m a free-spirited, individualist. I’m not made for a profession like that.”

“Listen to your father, Astarion. He knows what’s best for you. Besides, your job is not supposed to be fun. It’s for the purpose of financing your life and societal status. Our family’s status was built on hard-working academics.”

“I’m going to my room.”

“Son, manners.”

With a sigh, Astarion replies: “May I retire to my room, please.”

His father replies stoically: You may. And son? Your grades have been lacking the past months. It’s not up to par with what we’ve come to expect from you. We might discuss this later, though.”

As he enters his room, he slams the door shut and locks it lest his parents come in uninvited. Why can’t his parents understand? Why can’t they accept his choice?

He sits down at his desk and takes out his diary. It has become a habit for him to write his feelings and thoughts down. Ever since his puberty, the constant turmoil of feelings and the ever-growing expectations of his parents, he found it easier to write his thoughts down than to talk about them with his parents. Which is a huge shift because he used to be very close to them. Especially his mother, who understood him and even talked him through his first heartbreak. It was painful to see her little angel go through the pains of a heartbreak. He loved them so much. He and Quinn planned to move to Baldur’s Gate together and study. Astarion would study the arts of theatre, while Quinn would become a doctor. They had a bleeding heart and wanted to help and heal beyond Baldur’s Gate. Until Astarion caught Quinn having a quickie behind the school's gym with his classmate Sheila. He wordlessly went away, lest he say anything hurtful to them. Quinn tried to talk to Astarion, but how are you going to justify cheating on your partner? Especially with someone your partner hates to the bone? The next day, after the cheating incident, Astarion and Quinn talked it out in their lunch break and Quinn broke up with Astarion. They were his first love. Together for three years, from fifteen to eighteen years old.

The following two weeks were very hard for him. He missed classes and stayed home the whole time. Crying and blaming himself how he couldn’t have foreseen the signs. They were there, weren’t they? Cheaters drop signs all the time they cheat, don’t they? One night, in a fit of sadness and self loathing, he sneaked into his bathroom and cut his hair. From hip length locks to neck length curls. He loved his long hair. It was always decorated in the finest elven jewellery, but not any more. He’ll keep the short hairstyle for years to come.

The Rockstar and The Groupie

Chapter 1

“Estellé”

It was Friday afternoon. Just three more hours and Estellé would be free for the week, and she could finally go to the concert she had booked the tickets for. Fourth row and VIP. She was going to meet him! The most famous rockstar of their generation and everybody's favourite bad boy. Estellé saved up half a year for the tickets. VIP tickets were even more expensive than regular. Well, makes sense you're going to meet THE star, after all. Astarion Ancunín. Rockstar, bad boy, sexiest man alive 3 times in a row.

Estellé worked over time a few times to even afford to save up. As a college student in linguistics and philosophy, you don't get paid like the trained hotel workers do. She lived in a small flat that costs what feels like more than it's worth, the university fees have gone up (not by much, but it still hurts) and has to buy expensive textbooks every new semester. The least she could do was reward herself with a good time. Especially if it's her favourite singer and songwriter.

“ESTELLÉ!” Estellé was startled out of her stupor by her least favourite colleague. “Where did you put the guest list for the coming season? I told you it needs to be visible for us. Always. Lest we let in someone who didn’t rent a room here.” The “Swords Of The Sword Coast”, where Estellé was working at, prided themselves for being exclusive and luxurious. The hotel had a list of guests and if you didn’t rent in time you had to wait a season. Maybe two if a certain rockstar rented multiple floors to have privacy. Astarion was a frequent guest in the hotel thanks to his manager. Apparently his manager knew the founder of the hotel. It used to be a motel for pirates around three to four centuries ago, he told him.

According to a colleague he arrived four days ago, but she hasn’t seen him come out of his room yet, and he orders his breakfast and dinner to his room. His manager said to her, “it’s one of his moods again.” She shrugged it off as rockstar eccentrics, although being so reclusive doesn’t match his stage persona, she thought. Astarions manager creeped her out a lot. He’s rather tall and has a piercing stare. Does he ever blink? His hair is slicked back and he talks as if he’s the star not Astarion. Most of the stars requests she receives are through his manager. Cazador Szarr is his name. He has been working for the Crimson Label for a few decades now. He took Astarion Ancunín under his wing when he used to play indie rock and grunge in small taverns. His look was not as glamorous and his hair was shorter and unkempt. A far cry from today. His usual stage wear nowadays is black, leather, fishnet and a bandana. His makeup is either smudged around the eyes or perfectly done with eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow that is black with a hint of silver. Thus, his blue, gold flecked eyes seem to pierce you even more.

“Miss….?” Estellé was rearranging a few things behind desk to leave the desk for the next colleague who'd take the next shift when she was startled by a soft voice. “Miss, I have a request to make.”

“Oh, Mr. I didn't see-” When she turned around she saw who was standing in front of her. Dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, hair tugged in a bun and yet still manages to look good.

“Mr. Ancunín I'm so sorry. What can I do for you?”

“Don't call me Mr. please. Mr. Ancunín is my father.” He leans forward and reads her name tag. “Estellé… what a beautiful name. Estellé, would you be so kind to send dinner a little later to my room? The show starts in a few hours and I'll be at the hotel at 1am or 2am at the latest. Would this be possible, darling?”

He called her darling and Estellé might think she's melting and heating up at the same time.

“I'm sure this can be arranged! I'll tell the staff that takes the next shift to send your dinner to your room when you've come back.” She answered in a higher pitch than intended.

“Thank you very much.” he does a little appreciative bow and leaves.

[ralphlanyon]

TC tag game

Tagged by @spudodell!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Not that they're necessarily out of character, but whenever Renault is clearly projecting her own internalized misogyny onto the characters (e.g. Laurie calling Nurse Adrian a "silly little dumbbell" at one point or the narrative voice commenting on Aunt Olive's lack of makeup), I am like

(Granted, her other contemporary novels that actually feature female protagonists are even worse about this… 🫠)

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

Yes, absolutely! I previously wrote this meta about why I think so here. But here are a few more reasons:

"Over and over, during those first months, Laurie had relived the scene in the study, guarding it with fierce secrecy as a savage guards a magic word." It would be quite odd for Laurie to constantly relive that last meeting with Ralph and guard it with "fierce secrecy," if Ralph had done nothing more than chastise him, give him an old book, and turn him out of his study. So something intimate must have happened there that Laurie still obsessively thinks about.

The infamous ellipsis after "Come here a moment" was deliberately added to the 1959 edition (one of the only additions Renault makes, rather than subtractions), which I think is probably to help clarify the significance of that pause.

Laurie's proprietary behavior towards Ralph at the party, especially him staking claim of Ralph in front of Bim (and frankly a lot of about Laurie's behavior towards Ralph in general), makes a lot more sense if they had a "moment" together in the past and both of them never got over it or each other. It would help explain why Laurie instinctively feels he does have a claim over Ralph (as the Odysseus to Ralph's Penelope, to use Bim's analogy), as well as why Ralph continues to carry a torch for him after seven years and countless other relationships.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

To be honest I don't think he has any tattoos yet (or at least any in areas that would be normally exposed to the public), or else Laurie would have commented on them like he comments on just about everything else about Ralph's appearance. I could see him getting some in the future though, maybe some nautical-themed ones and probably at least one related to Laurie because he's sentimental like that.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I generally prefer reading the '53 edition mainly for the extra bits, but there are several stylistic writing choices I do prefer in the '59 edition. One of them is Ralph telling Laurie, "I didn't think you had that much bitchery in you." He says "cattiness" in the '53 edition, but Laurie is very bitchy (and Ralph likes that about him!).

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Bim or Sandy! They would be bringing the tea. ☕️

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

Probably part of the couple holding hands in dead silence, lol.

7. Post a TC meme.

I have a lot of memes in my TC tag, but here's one I made a while ago:

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave because he bores me (the worst thing a literary character can do). Also Ralph's parents and Jeepers.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

"You are intensely afraid of abandonment which is why you keep trying to leave people before they can leave you. (Please go to therapy.)"

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

What do Laurie and Ralph do for their post-war careers? There have been several excellent ideas in post-canon fics, but I haven’t quite settled on my own headcanon for them.

Tagging: not sure who hasn’t been tagged yet, but feel free to nab if you see this!

[theabyssal]

Calma, eu tava lendo os asks e eu percebi que você falou português em um deles e falou algo como: "[...] Urso, which means bear in Portuguese". TU É BRASILEIRA??? ABRAÇOS DE MINAS! Anyways, I'm excited for the next update. I'm playing as two characters: One is a F!MC Death called Margaretha and the other one is a M!MC Death called Katran. I want to make Margaretha kind of like a sweet Death in the past who became crazy from all these years of torture in the future, like, they would begin to see everything just like a game and begin to believe that pain (and their prison too) is the only true place you're free, and everyone who's outside of it is trapped. (Sounds like a familiar character to you?)

And then there's Katran, that I want to make like a calm MC, kinda distant and stoic but is a sweetheart to his loved ones, specially his kids and spouse, and then after years of torture he will be seeking revenge for those who wronged him. And even though he feels sad and betrayed by Sol's betrayal, he isn't able to blame him for it and his love for him does not disappear, not even a bit. (Of course, he concludes this after gathering his thoughts to understand what he should feel towards Sol and after breaking down due to his betrayal, which is not something he would allow himself to do normally)

Do you have an approx. of the month or the date of when the next update might release? Thanks! And continue your hardwork! <3

Sou Brasileiro com muito orgulho!!! Hahah, um beijo de Goiás queride!!

That feels really familiar, yes. My own Death is a combination of your two characters which are awesome btw!! 🤩

Thanks for the ask!! 🖤🖤

[bibiana112]

HIIII ive seen you mention your ztd aftermath fic a few times in tags and id rly like to know more... feel free to yap about it im curious

Hiii hellooo SO!!! Something that always sticks out to me with fics that touch a little on the immediate post ztd reactions is that things just kind of sort themselves out and everyone chills out for a little bit which I cannot see happening like no wayyy it's okay for the purposes of other people's fics but personally I'm a staunch believer in effort going into the smallest things in life especially when it involves a group of people and especially when you're fucked up as they'd be after that and it's something I love exploring in my writings like expanding in gross detail on the more mundane ups and downs between all the high stakes stuff like I don't think they'd walk out of there working in harmony at allll there'd be so many factors going into how everyone would be thinking and how they'd interact with each other and how the lives they've lead would inform the new trauma after that and how each of them would react to their immediate circumstances like on a physical level

I mean. Diana is completely new to any of this stuff and she's supposed to just transition seamlessly into a sudden new commited relationship and a daughter her own age? Phi has not gotten a single break since she experienced the events of vlr and has a whole complex about where she comes from and she's supposed to feel uncomplicated joy at finding out these are her parents and that the motherfucker that made the virus that's been making her life hell for a week is related to her? It's just been one week for her and that's so long but so little too she'd still have a connection to most of her old life? That shit isn't true about Sigma what's he supposed to do since Akane lied to his face about not knowing what happened at the test site for decades? It's not even something she remembers doing to him but he remembers spending a lifetime with her I love the ztd booklet scene of them interacting during d-com he asks Akane not to let her future self lie to past him point blank and she just says what he wants to hear and Phi stands in silence like she can't wrap her head around why he thinks for even a second that she'd be honest about being honest but stil extending enough goodwill to silently wait and see if she will. the man would be having a whole crisis of faith

Where do they leave Sean? Should he just stay with Q-team wouldn't he need maintenance and therefore stay in contact at least with Sigma? Eric doesn't remember much so he'd shockingly be one of the most calm people there, he'd have to deal with some revelations but Sean informed them of it in a good enough way that he seemed to take it well enough and even if that's not true he's the most high masking mf of the entire cast he wouldn't let himself step on other people's toes, if anything he'd only be set off by how everyone would have something to hold against Mira now, she kills everyone once except Carlos and Akane and she doesn't remember but they do, in fact there being a serial killer in their midst memo never gets to c-team delta never tells the whole snail story to every team. Would Mira just turn herself in without any resistance? Wouldn't someone have to talk her into it or at least make sure that's what she's really going to do since the stakes are so high? It's her fucking fault rad-6 got out too the characters have no reason to trust she's just gonna beeline to a police station. Carlos would probably be fine for the most part but he wouldn't be around long to keep everyone else sane especially Junpei and Akane because he'd probably go check on Maria as soon as possible especially since we're led to believe avoiding the apocalypse helps her recover

Akane herself would be all sorts of fucked up about it, there'd be so much pressure on her by everyone there and she'd try to be forward thinking and work on the extremist stuff immediately without processing anything and overcompensate the new recent failure to foresee dange and her revictimization by being even more controlling and inconsiderate to the others which is an energy Junpei would match I think especially going off his enneagram they'd be immediatly set in like an unhealthy loop of behaviors that push each other's trauma buttons on accident until they're hurting cause they're both trying to rush things and put each other in idealized boxes they imagined and having things their way Junpei is gonna come off much worse probably cause he's not a pov character and he's canonically an underhanded asshole when he has reson to be and he would not trust akane or her brother wouldn't be trying to pull another fast one on him so soon especially if we assume he has restored memories of the c-team ending too he'd like get keyed up and paranoid of being away from her for even a second

There are so many logistics involved in transporting and keeping in contact with people while simultaneously making sure no one leaks any sensitive information and that's probably important for Crash Keys and would fall mostly on Aoi to keep track of but he would in my opinion not be doing very okay either be it out of separation anxiety a level of psychically feeling like shit because of what akane goes through or just stress from preparing for an apocalypse more likely all of the above lol And he'd be working with half the info everyone else has cause if Akane doesn't pace herself in passing the new info to him he's gonna snap

Like I don't think these issues would be a slow burn to boil over, I think everything would feel like it's all going wrong from the get go and that kind of stress can be palpable in a group setting even if they're not under direct threath of death anymore I mean that's what ptsd is it's when you get fight or flight or freeze levels of fear in an entirely safe environment due to perceived instability and then they'd eat and rest and deal with it better for the next day, be more functional and levelheaded about everything going forward and even perhaps apologize and help each other out, and they'd be like that for a good while until underlying issues start to surface again in individual relationships cough mostly the junepei cough

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 3/5

Book Blurb: A bisexual teen girl tries to make her ex jealous by faking an Instagram romance that leads to surprisingly real feelings in this hijinks-filled rom-com perfect for fans of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and She Gets the Girl.

Ava “Fitz” Fitzgerald has worked hard to create the picture-perfect life she’s always wanted. She spent her junior year transforming her passion for sustainable fashion and upcycling into a viral online platform, maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and spending every free second with her soon-to-graduate girlfriend, Danica. And this summer she plans to take it all to the next level by attending a prestigious summer fashion program in New York City and convincing Dani that they can survive a year of long distance.

But when Dani dumps her before classes even start, accusing Fitz of being more invested in growing her online persona than deepening their relationship, she’s left not only heartbroken, but also creatively blocked.

Fitz will do anything to win Dani back, even if that means taking a break from the platform that she’s worked so hard to build. But just as she decides to go all-in on a hiatus, a chance encounter reunites her with Levi Berkowitz, her childhood best friend that she hasn’t seen since elementary school. Levi is struggling with heartbreak of his own, and this cosmic coincidence sparks a new use for her social media savvy. Fitz offers to help Levi craft a fake relationship online to make his person jealous…if in return he can pretend to be her boyfriend in front of Dani to make her jealous. If all goes according to plan, by the end of the summer they’ll both be reunited with their perfect partners and get to rekindle their friendship in the process.

Sometimes even the most carefully designed plans can come apart at the seams, though. And when real history leads to not-so-fake feelings, Fitz will have to decide if she’s finally willing to let go of what she thought was picture-perfect and choose what might actually be right for her.

Review:

A bisexual teen fashion influencer finds herself trying to win back her ex girlfriend by fake dating her old best friend... only she's beginning to fall for him too. Ava "Fitz" Fitzgerald is picture perfect on her Instagram, she's a bit of an influencer and wants to use her platform to further her career in fashion. Ava spends every second of her free time with with her girlfriend Danica, and assumed they were ready to say "I love you" to each other... only they end up in a fight and Danica dumps her. Fitz is desperate to win back Dani and on her first day of attending her prestigious summer fashion program in New York she runs into Levi Berkowitz. Levi was her best friend and someone she lost contact with after he ghosted her with no explanation. Levi is struggling with a heartbreak of his own, his girlfriend Sophie and him are on a break. Fitz and Levi decide to fake date to make their perspective ex significant others jealous and win them back, yet the more time they spend "fake dating" and actually hanging out and being together, the more the lines between real and fake blur and some very real feelings begin to grow. Can Fitz figure out what she wants before it all slips past her fingers, or will she crash and burn under the pressure of trying to not only find herself and her brand, but in trying to understand her own mental health. This was definitely an interesting messy romance drama, it features two characters who are both bisexual and they do live up to the bi disaster haha. Fitz is trying to win back her ex yet she's not finding herself and trying to sort out what her future means to her. I did enjoy seeing her grow by the end and this book did something not many books do, having the character focus on their own mental health and growth before getting into a new relationship. Levi was a sweet romantic interest and I did love the "plantscapades " they went on. Overall it's a cute young adult book with messy romance drama and I think that fans of To All the Bows I've Loved Before and She Gets the Girl will really enjoy it.

*Thanks Netgalley and Simon and Schuster Children's Publishing | Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[fighting-these-demons]

Haunted Honk Updated Bones 2 - Return of the Honk

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a Horror Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

It is based on the idea in the post that is linked above.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

Also the majority of the brainstorming is happening in the replies if you're so inclined.

--------------------------------

Behold! The Second Update! 🎉🎊🎉🎊

Some of this is just straight copy and pasted from the notes and other bits have been lightly reworded or built upon to connect to other bits.

I'll see y'all in the replies for ideas on new plot points! 🪦💥🌩

-----------------------------

This is backstory and general outline for the most part. There are some sort of written bits mixed in.

It is barely edited. Typos abound.

The dialogue is extremely minimal and it is a framework upon which to build the fic. 💖

I am giving this explanation for the benefit of internet strangers as all parties working on this fic are already familiar.

Hello Internet strangers! 👋

--------------------------------

Wherever the tendrils of the Devil Gundam hovered over the earth, and subsequently were destroyed, are places that may have had DG cells distributed through the atmosphere.

Atmospheric DG plumes have lead to DG infection in those areas. There's also likely tendril debris.

Neo-Japan, since the Devil Gundam's destruction,  has been working with Neo and world governments on a cure for DG infection.

At the moment the current treatment involves Kyoji or Schwarz controlling the DG cells of the individual and shutting them down; however, they are making breakthroughs with advancements on a nanocite injection that they're synthesizing with an executable program that shuts the DG cells down.

The biological compatibilities are the hurdle at the moment as evidenced in animal testing.

Kyoji and Domon are traveling to some sites in the USA that were affected by tendrils. Domon is there as a body guard since Schwarz is handling infection cases elsewhere (unspecified). 

Chibodee is their escort. America is a Different Beast to Japan even in the future. So they'll need an escort to get through the militant landscape and across the sheer distance of it all. 

Rain wanted to come with them, but with the volatility of the current landscape of the US - Especially where they're going - Kyoji didn't want to needlessly risk her safety.

He's assured her that Domon, Chibodee, and Chibodee's team will be watching his back.

Dr. Kasshu will be with them for the first days in New York to help with setup of the mobile lab before heading back to Neo Japan to continue working alongside Rain.

Once they've rested and are ready to head out, Domon, Chibodee, Kyoji, and The Gals will take Neo America's Core Lander and a mobile lab to the TD Site and it should be a fairly straight forward affair since they've gotten permission from the national and state governments, as well as permission from Gunsinto to be in the area.

They shouldn't be more than a few days travel to get there and retrieve samples and data and get back. He should be gone a week at the absolute most.

Kyoji gives rain the contact info to their hotel in New York as well as their sponsored Gunsinto accommodations in the Midwest and lets her know that he'll call once they've arrived palnetside.

He makes good on that promise the next day, letting Rain know that their shuttle landed, Chibodee and the girls picked them up without hassle, and lets them know that they're set to have a great dinner at a favorite restaurant of Chibodee's that evening. 

Seeing Chibodee is like a breathe of fresh air that Domon didn't know he needed. Life has been so needlessly complicated lately but after Chibodee releases him from the bear hug given in greeting and throws an arm over Domon's shoulders they fall into step as if they'd never been apart. 

Keeping in touch wasn't exactly easy. Domon doesn't respond quite as often as Chibidee would like, but every message Chibodee left was listened to and saved. 

Ever since they got wind of this mission it's all either of them has had on their minds for days. 

I need some help here with feelings and dialogue and inner thoughts but Basically 

They both independently realize with clarity over the days leading up and the time in New York how much they've missed each other and how easy and comfortable it all is - being teamed up again.

Domons semi-recent revelations and feelings fresh on his mind. Chibodees crush ever looming.

Hearts racing. Feeling lighter than they have in God Knows How Long. Chibodee smiling so much his face cramps. Domon feeling so comfortable and nearly zen he loses his permanent frown from constantly thinking and just vibes. Smiling occasionally even!

Chibodee proposes they spar real quick before dinner "To work up an appetite! And C'mon! I wanna see what I'm up against in the upcoming Gundam Fight!" With a grin slamming his left fist into his open right hand. (He's left handed right? Or was that someone else?)

They Spar and there's Feelings 

@thedragonchilde has written a beautiful scene that I've linked below

Then they have dinner together and later part to settle in their hotel rooms for the evening. 

The next day they focus on briefing the expedition and setting up the Mobile Lab that The Gals will be in charge of transporting. 

Once the lab is set up, they see Dr. Kasshu off on his shuttle back to Neo Japan that has been on standby since they arrived.

Kyoji volunteers to ride with The Gals under the excuse of getting a head start on some data processing - but really it's to give Domon and Chibodee some time alone together. 

Chibodee is not about to let himself be alone in a Core Lander with Domon for HOURS. He may blurt out something he regrets. He insists that Kyoji ride with them and leave the Gals to themselves.

As they make their way out west, Chibodee starts explaining why they'll want to keep their guard up. 

There's been a lot of unrest recently and especially the last 10 years since Gunsinto bought out the last of their land and displaced so many communities. 

Domon asks occasional questions but Kyoji isn't saying much of anything at all. Opting to rest most of the journey. 

Domon seems tense, which is understandable considering the events before they left New York. 

A thought: can Kyoji and Schwarz communicate via cellular connection similar to a human cell phone situation? They'd both be planet-side so I feel like it ought to be possible 

With that in mind - maybe Kyoji and Schwarz have been catching up whenever they have free time and part of Kyoji being to silent is he's messaging Schwarz and lamenting his fate being stuck in the Core Lander with these two. 

Schwarz pities Kyoji but can't help the schadenfreude at what Kyoji is going through. Kyoji is understandably less amused but sees the humor in it and they start discussing progress that Schwarz has made with calming and healing people abroad. 

Kind of a nod to what will come in the scary bits. 

I'm thinking that when the emp goes off, maybe a signal scrambler starts after that interferes with cell and radio signal in the area so when Kyoji tries to reach out to Schwarz he's cut off. 

Thoughts?

Suddenly they hear gunfire and what might be a canon of some kind. 

They expected resistance outside of Gunsinto territory but they didn't expect it after they crossed the border!

Aren't the Greenlords supposed to be patrolling the area???

So they're on the run from a group that blames Domon and Kyoji for all the bullshit post DG Incident. The group is made up of various parties working together to hold Neo Japan responsible for their crimes against humanity since nothing held up in court and Neo Japan is currently in control. Plus near endless bitterness at America's loss of Super Power status for decades and the effect that that has had on their economy and natural resources put under stress from these Big Space Battles. 

Chibodee and The Gals are aware of THIS group of violent individuals… but they're not aware of the OTHER group of violent individuals. (The Clown gangs are kept under wraps by the Greenlords - Gunsinto's private militia similar to to the Pinkertons as going public would be an embarrassment and an open invitation to more trespassers.)

They have a good idea of what weapons they have at their disposal and what their general tactics are. 

They decide to split up and have The Gals create a distraction to lure the majority of the aggressors off before rendezvousing close to the TD Site in this region.

After they split, the core lander has some issues and breaks down in the middle of nowhere. As they break down Kyoji has an awful headache. There's a terrible signal he can feel and he knows it affected the core lander's processors but he's not sure what it is. 

(It's a device that broadcasts a malicious signal that infects the processing units of hovering vehicles - was gonna be an emp but realized that would mess up their gps. It has only a very mild effect on DG cells it seems. Their GPS was made by the Kasshus with DG tech so it's unaffected. - Their communicator was issued by Gunsinto and was not so lucky - it's dead.)

Luckily for them their map data integrated into their GPS shows there should be a former town nearby.

The nearest town is seemingly abandoned. There's simply not enough water here according to Chibodee. 

The only building not completely crumbled is a lone Motel. Chibodee curses his Rotten Fucking Luck. (Clown Music!)

They're exhausted from carrying their emergency supplies through the heat of the day. They're not going any further. This will have to be it. Domon is clearly tense and Chibidee seems about to jump out of his skin but Kyoji doesn't really know why. He could be over sensitive after sitting with their tension in the core lander and then walking with them through the heat. 

Chibodee considers attempting to convince them to camp outside but with the wind picking up as bad as it is, he has no leg to stand on. They'll be sleeping inside. 

Strange though. There's a light on. That's odd.

----------------------

While the guys were crashing and walking The Gals have incapacitated the pursuers after radioing in help from the Greenlords who are cooperating on this mission. 

They're of course like “Whaaaaaat? That's Crazyyyyyyyyy.” And don't breathe a word of The Other Issue Inside The Fields. Instead electing to simply refuel the mobile lab and send some extra men with The Gals as an escort.

The Gals start back on their journey to Rendevous with the guys. 

They arrive at the TD Site with no sign of the guys. After waiting 2 hours they decide to try and ping Chibodee's location. 

There's no result. What they assumed was poor signal is worrying them now.

As they double back in the direction the guys should have been coming from they discover the crashed Core Lander and some prints headed South West.

They check their maps of the area which indicate a former town a few miles south west. They hop in their mobile lab and head that way. 

When they make it to the town, the only standing structure is a Clown Themed Motel that looks like it was pulled straight out of a historical classic horror film. 

They share a look then laugh. There's no way Chibodee would be here. They decide to check for other towns and head further south.  Eventually as it starts to get dark the escort advises that they head to the designated accommodations for the evening and the Greenlords will start a search.

—-------------------

Meanwhile, Kyoji kept his word to Rain that he and his father would check in when they arrived in New York. When the second day stretches on with no word - Rain starts to worry.

Her father has made it home, but she's still heard no word from Kyoji.

On Rain's 5th call in as many hours -at about 2:00 AM- The Gals answer.... it's Bad News. 

They've been separated by a roaming militia group hellbent on serving American Justice to these Neo Japan Planet Destroyers. The Gals were supposed to Rendevous with Chibodee and the guys at the TD site but they never showed and they didn't find them on their way to the Gunsinto Accomodations either.

The Gals reassure her that the Greenlords and Gunsinto are starting a search and they should have word soon.

Dread starts to settle in the pit of Rain's stomach. 

----------------------------

Meanwhile The Guys walk into the Hotel expecting it to be abandoned. It certainly looks that way from the outside. 

As they walk in though, they meet a rather average looking man smoking a cigar and watching some movies on a TV in the corner of the dark Lobby. 

He looks surprised (he isnt) and quickly stubs out his cigar in the ash tray nearby before walking into the only light in the lobby by the front desk.

He welcomes them with a smile and asks how many guests. Letting them know that unfortunately he's only got one room available and There's Only the One Bed. He asks if that's alright.

Chibodee sputters. Shocked that there's someone here at all. He asks as much and the man says that the Hotel is a side business of the Greenlords’ for “Employee Services” if you catch his drift.

Average guy asks after them as he's never seen them before. Kyoji has a bad feeling and smooths things over by advising that they're there as horticultural graduate students studying genetic modification with their Professor and a few other students. Kyoji tells a tale of how they got separated in the fields and this was the closest area with shelter according to their map data.

The Average guy is surprised to hear that they have a functioning GPS and says that this area has bad signal. It's a blessing they can find their way.

He directs them to their room and leaves back toward the lobby.

Kyoji has a bad feeling. He can sense a ton of corrupted DG cells nearby. Somewhere underground, but isn't sure why or what it means. 

He also keeps getting flashes of screaming men and women in clown costumes….

He relays as much to Domon privately as Chibodee is clearly already on edge and doesn't need any more stress. 

Kyoji asks Domon if Chibodee is alright. Domon informs him that clowns and clown imagery is a problem but there's really nothing they can do about it in this situation. His fists are clenched. Domon i's pissed they have to stay here.

Kyoji takes a moment to let Domon know he'll take the floor and for Chibodee and Domon to take the bed. This throws Domon for a loop, but before he can argue Kyoji insists that out of the 3 of them he can probably take the most stress and that Chibodee looks like he needs someone to sleep next to. 

Kyoji also mentions that he'll be blocking his hearing on a nano level to give them privacy in case they need to talk. Domon is a bit flustered by this but decides to take it in stride and go to Chibodee who is pacing and silently melting down. He looks like he's about to both through the window and back into the fields. 

Domon puts a hand on Chibodee’s shoulder and suggests they go ahead and bunk down for the night. 

He and Domon each take a seat on the end of the bed while Kyoji remains standing and they discuss Watch Rotation.

It'll probably be better to have 2 people awake and 1 person resting at any given time.

None of them trust this guy at the front desk. Especially not Kyoji.

-------------------------

Not sure how to segue from bunking down to the horror bit below gracefully; but I know we need to. 

I feel like it's the perfect time for Domon and Chibodee to take Kyoji up on his offer of audible privacy to have a quick heart to heart..... before it's unfortunately and terrifyingly interrupted. 😨

Mostly because I'm mean. 😂

Domon clumsily offers comfort / encouragement. 

(Watch him actually offer to beat up any clowns that show up.) That allows for a nice bit of irony when things suddenly get Worse.

Idk how Domon would say it but something along the lines of "I'd never let another clown near you" or "I'd beat down any clown any day. Don't worry.”

That would actually get a shaky laugh out of Chibodee, and maybe a joking "my hero", a sincere thank-you, and an apology for being so on edge (kind of a "thanks for putting up with me" type of deal)

Domon takes both of Chibodees hands in his much smaller ones and Chibodee really feels So Safe in that moment

"Hey, I mean it. You're not doing this alone.”

-----------------------

My first thought for 4 is that it probably looks like a normal-ass bed but in the middle of the night when both the guys are like half asleep, a clown hand bursts up from the center of the mattress in a classic zombie style Then an improbable amount slowly crawl out of that same hole as Chibodee drags Domon to the door (Domon for his credit is ready to beat a clown with another clown)

Since the FC does have the lightest touch of Newtype bullshit (mostly seen in the Schwarz/Rain chase scene where Schwarz gets the newtype flash), I'm interested in it being ghosts because the NT thing sometimes goes that way.

Ghosts usually have some kind of backstory as to why they're around, and I think it fits the setting to have a sort of clown culture war going on

so you have gangs like the one that killed Chibodee's mom, and then you get ordinary clowns going vigilante to hunt the ones that do that down for flagrant violation of the clown code

But the problem with vigilantism is you sometimes get the wrong guy, so that eventually happens and another group of clowns goes vigilante to go after the first group because they've gone bad (doesn't matter whether or not this is true for our purposes). And then you get more guys like the original circus terrorists playing themselves off as vigilantes as an excuse to kill people.

So now you have a clown gang war and more clown terrorists than you started with. And with the other problems Earth and the Colonies have it isn't *really* a big enough deal for anyone outside of the business to really care, so you get a sort of uneasy status quo with occasional bursts of clown violence.

The motel in question has a ghost problem because it's a former base of operations of a clown gang, where they would frequently dispose of their clown victims.

Chibodee is not at all aware of this. Or else he never would have agreed to this. He would have had some sort if Military backup. Gunsinto and The Greenlords have kept this under wraps to avoid broadcasting their farm territory as terrorist territory.

The clowns were affected by DG cells pre-murder and with Kyoji nearby they seem to be activating.

Yikes.

Kyoji can affect DG cells in a lof of situations... but can he affect them to his advantage now?

 Here's the scene: 

The guys are getting comfortable and about to sleep when suddenly the lamp they'd left on switches off and they start to hear a circus melody from somewhere out in the hallway. 

Chibodee freezes up and starts to breathe heavier. Domon figures the music may be part of the model's gimmick and tries to turn the lamp back on. It doesn't turn back on. He tries again. It doesn't respond.

Concept: the arrival of the clowns is preceded by *laughter*. Just voices getting louder and nearer and more numerous, building up to a goddamn chorus of infernal cackling that triggers Chibodee halfway to a panic attack, with Domon's tight grip and shouts of "stay with me" just barely keeping him in the present, and as the laughing reaches a fever pitch, THAT'S when the first hand bursts through the bed.

—--------------

Kyoji hears it first via Newtype tomfoolery but shrugs it off as just not controlling his cells well or something at first and maybe Domon getting Chibodee to laugh or something. 

Then as it becomes more numerous and he's like "Uh Oh!" And stands up to alert the guys. 

While he's searching for a way to warn them that won't immobilize Chibodee the guys start hearing it and it's sort of too late.

 So for this section we have 2 different options from two different post threads. 

In the first post thread we had the idea of kyoji having the newtype flash awareness of the zombies mentally

In the second post thread we have the idea that since Kyoji has closed his hearing off that he doesn't hear the clowns laughter so he's unaware of their approach and Domon has to alert him when he jumps put of bed. 

This specifically: 

It might be more effective to have Domon forget this and be really confused over why the noise doesn't seem to have woken his brother.

And yeah well have Domon jump out of bed at the first sign of the noise and shake kyoji awake with his foot while he keeps a hand on Chibodee to try and ground him 

We can find a way to combine these or we can go with one or the other. 

I'm cool with all 3 options but I will say that I'm finding it hard to combine them.

The only idea I've had for combining them is that Kyoji has genuinely fallen asleep first while Domon and Chibodee are on watch and interprets his Newtype Flash of the horde as a stress nightmare.

And then when Domon jumps out of bed and kicks him awake he turns on his hearing and realizes it was real after all. 

He doesn't have time to explain what's coming before the hand pops out if the bed between where Domon is standing at the edge of it and Chibodee is laying and panicking. 

I'm good for any of the 3 options though.

—----------------

Domon's instincts are screaming at him to get standing and in a ready position to fight but he's trying to get Chibodee - who has frozen- to snap out if it and stand with him when BOOM!!! 💥✊🦾🧟 The hand and several others follow. 

Domon would have been focused on Chibodee and Kyoji’s hearing would have been terminated so they wouldn't have heard a large metal bar latch into place while the laughter was building. 

Because lobby guy is outside their room's exit door planning to come in through the door to the adjoining room - not knowing his past victims have come shambling back into existence. (He can't hear them from his position in the hallway and the music he's got playing)

Chibodee's flight instinct finally triggers when the hands pop out and he's off the bed and across the room at the door in a flash, struggling to open it - finding it locked. Domon is hot on his heels with Kyoji close behind and he kicks the door when he gets to it. 

What they thought was a normal metal door seems to be solid - not hollow - and won't budge. Domon takes half a step back, and looks to the window. On the way in they noticed it was boarded up. Tornado precaution the Lobby Guy had earlier explained. That couldn't be hard to break through! 

He opens the curtains to steel panels bolted into the reinforced steel window frame. Domon is stunned. 

Someone planned this. Someone is trying to kill them.

He slowly looks behind him at the bed and the platform beneath it jumping wildly. They're trapped in here, with something Truly Awful, and There's No Escape.

He has to protect Chibodee and Kyoji at All Costs. His crest is flaring as he steps between them and the bed.

(Figured that was a good place to note the state of the Crest Connection)

But at that moment when Chibidee is frantically slamming and kicking the door and Lobby Guy thinks that all of them are focused on that door he busts open the adjoining door with a knife in hand planning to stab and kill these mid twenties and early 30s college kids.

So the room is pitch black when they hear the other door fly open and slam against the wall while they hear the bed jumping and ripping apart and what sounds like giant metal doors straining under the platform that the bed is on top of.

When lobby guy lunges at them, Domon blocks him and kicks him towards the bed. The knife falls out of his hands and as he reaches for it the platform and bed bursts apart and he's grabbed and pulled back by what is clearly a dead clown into what sounds like a crowd of clowns behind them. 

As Lobby Guy disappears screaming into the tangle of limbs clamoring for him,our guys get an eyeful of the threat. 

Chibode bolts through the door Lobby Guy came from and into a dark winding corridor. The only thing on his mind is putting as much distance between himself and these clowns as possible 

But this guy has made some awful maze to chase people through the remains of the motel and the surrounding town in case his victims slip past him.

And it's absolutely heinous with bits of the people he's taken for trophies and very saw-esque. Just like truly Nightmare Fuel that NONE of them would be prepared for.

Chibodee, however, is already running through the flames of his own personal hell- so he's still just booking it down the tunnel and straight into the start of the maze while Domon and Kyoji have taken a moment to try to fight off the pursuing horde. 

I think the part where Chibodee starts booking it might be a good time to have Domon beat a clown with another clown. Rather than freezing, he gets distracted and doesn't realize they're getting swarmed. 

Kyoji is yelling at Domon to move and finally physically grabs and turns Domon's head towards more clowns than even he can keep back.

Chibodee doesn't stop running until he reaches some bullshit puzzle barrier that Lobby guy had set up.. when he turns around he's ALONE. 

But not for long, as another arm shoots out from his right!

Chibodees screams of course

It might be scarier to have Chibodee's scream get Domon hurt; The scream comes from an unexpected direction (because maze) and Domon whirls back around trying to locate Chibodee just in time to get a good zombie claw rake down the arm. 

Ooh, might be one of those cases where adrenaline keeps him from registering the extent of the injury at first?

At this point Kyoji's retreating, telling Domon to get moving, and given no alternative direction - Domon rockets down the tunnel after them both.

Domon rockets forward full tilt into the darkness down into the tunnel (it goes down) to find Chibodee fighting for his life at the end of this nightmare tunnel in front of some strange gate in the middle of what seems to have been a section of a have caved In basement laundry room.

After a bit of distance Kyoji stops to try and corral his mind to think for half a moment. He's had a feeling that he's connected to these things and wonders if it might be DG related somehow. 

And so he starts trying to tear some of his surroundings down to slow approaching clowns and shambling corpses. If he can test on one of them, then he might stand a chance of figuring out a way to get them out of here in one piece.

—-------------------‐—-----

meanwhile, scattered across the cosmos, George, Sai, and Argo wonder why their crests are going crazy.

They're all wondering what the hell is happening and I bet George calls Rain up to be like "What In The World???" And once Rain hears that their crests are going off she knows for sure that something is going down and tries to get in contact with the girls again.

They don't have any updates. :(

Schwarz Meanwhile has gotten to a phone and lets Rain know that his contact with Kyoji was cut off and he hasn't been able to reach him for hours. 

Rain gives him the bad news. 

—------------

Previous brainstorming:

I think once they get to the SAW PARTY gate they should be together for a little bit, but the maze should either have a puzzle or a trap that splits them up again after a room or two.

Could be a classic wall or bars drop down, isolating one person and forcing them to go a different way, could be some kind of enclosed space with some bait (a key? a fuse?) that drops the person who enters to retrieve it through the floor, could be a fucked-up puzzle that doesn't let you continue unless you split up (forked "airlock" with buttons that need to be pushed at the same time maybe?)

Work that in as a trap room

...I wonder how it might affect the traps given that there's no longer a person controlling them. Will that make them easier or harder to get through?

Yeah I think the fact that Murder Manderson is dead will absolutely be a problem for them but I also think that Chibodee has the lock picking skills necessary to get them through some basic doors should they have the opportunity to get to some more normal locks which may or may not be scattered in the maze to allow him easy and quick ambush access to his victims. The added bonus if they can notice one of these is that there would be few to no dead bodies in those passageways.

So it would make their final escape just a matter of blocking the passage - dodging incoming bodies from the other doors (if they're weak or open) and speed.

IF THEY NOTICE. if not it's All Maze All The Time. GREATEST SAW HITS *BZZZZZZ*

All right, here are some notes I took between patients: 

-as well as the outside Shuffles, the crests are definitely burning on our maze boys for each other. (How do the shuffle empathy powers work anyway?) They also may indicate the presence of DG cells with the zombies?

-is the manager at risk of becoming a DG zombie?

-can they magically cleanse DG cells where Kyoji can't cover with his tech? -i mentioned to you before that there's likelihood of a Moment under fire,

an "I can't lose you" confession or "thank God you're alive" embrace or something -ohh we're gonna have fun with personalized torture methods for each of them, aren't we

I definitely think that has to happen! It would be so sweet and also I don't think either of them has the impulse control to stop themselves at this point lmao

Hmmmmm. I'll have to check the wiki for that one. 

A) I believe he would be prime for a zombie yeah because he just died and got jumped by all the cells but I also think that because of that he'd be much more sentient and Kyoji may even be able to sense his thought which might be how he finds one of the doors in the first place. 

B) I think they'd be limited to what he's directly in front of them

—------------------------------

@thedragonchilde

@amplexadversary

@cyanide-latte

@felix-cant-ski

@youreaclownnow

@zayphora

And anyone else thay wants to jump in! Feel free! I've tagged in the replies before but I want to tag as many people in thebpost itself.

All of my mutuals are welcome in on this!

[valiantvideo]

LEO KASPER SESSION from the manhunt 2 promotional website: manhunt2.com

TRANSCRIPT:

Dr Whyte: Dixmor Studies, we are… we are resuming with session 4-26. Name: Leo Kasper-

Kasper: (chuckling)

Dr Whyte: - Test Case: 412567 Dr Whyte: Leo, can you hear me? Leo? Leo, can you hear me?

Kasper: …yeah. And i can see you too.

Dr Whyte: We are going to continue with-

Kasper: You’re hotter than the last one. What ever happened to good old Dr. Deborah anyway…

Dr Whyte: I will be asking the questions. Leo.

Kasper: Ahhhh that’s right, i killed the bitch. Kasper: Do you have a cigarette?

Dr Whyte: You know i don’t.

Kasper: Yeah. She didn’t have any either.

Dr Whyte: Leo, why did you kill-

Kasper: Come to think of it, i don’t even know if i smoke. These drugs that you puppets pump me with, i don’t know Cain from Abel. Can we stop with the drugs here? I like to party and all but just say fucking no!

Dr Whyte: Do you remember attacking Dr Deborah? Do you remember killing those other people? Before you were caught and sent here?

Kasper: The people you wanted me to kill, or the people i felt should go?

Dr Whyte: I read your dossier i am fully aware of your expertise in assassination. That was your job and you did it exceptionally. But your targets were selected by the government as imminent dangers. They were evil men, terrorists. You must realize that. But to turn on your employers, the people who trained you-

Kasper: Oh, we’re the good guys. Right, i forgot. We’re the good clandestine government agency that slithers it way into every facet of American life, right, right, okay got it. You see, good and evil are for those wage slaves out there that you control. But no one controls me.

Dr Whyte: So the killing of the project scientist, the assassination of the project official at the Plaza, the burning of the files, these were acts of vengeful spite. But Leo, why on earth would you kill-

Kasper: Don’t say one more fucking word. Dr Deborah finished that question and she wasn’t alive to hear the answer. Kasper: Look at me like that one more time and i rip your face off, bitch.

Dr Whyte: You don’t scare me, Leo. In fact, you look pretty pathetic.

Kasper: Uh huh. I feel fucking pathetic. These drugs dull my senses. These fucking chains hurt like hell. These fucking walls are all i ever see. I need to be free, i need to get out of here-

Dr Whyte: To satisfy more homicidal urges?

Kasper: I’m gonna be free.

Dr Whyte: Leo why-

Kasper: Dogs bark, babe. Snakes crawl. Leo kills. This is a surprise to do? You fuckers created me! My head is filled with combat training, ways of escape, stealth tactics.

Kasper: I wanna think about puppy dogs and fucking football but all i see are six things that can be used to kill you right now.

Dr Whyte: Six? Is that all?

Kasper: Sorry, seven. Kasper: I can pierce your eardrum with the temple of your glasses, rip the pin off your earrings and shove it in your systemic artery, wrap that ID pass around your neck and choke the life out of you, yank your high heels off and gouge out your eyes, pierce your cephalic vein with that fucking pen your cheap dad bought you for graduation and inject ink into your bloodstream OR ram that clipboard into septum and fuck your brain through your nose bone.

Dr Whyte: That’s only six, Leo.

Kasper: Ah, I can’t mention number seven-

Dr Whyte: Before the training-

Kasper: Not in front of you.

Dr Whyte: What can you tell me about your life before the training?

Kasper: I don’t have much time for the past.

Dr Whyte: Well, is there any memory you can share? A first kiss, a special vacation-

Kasper: The only thing that matters is the future. The future is where i’m on the outside, the future is where i don’t have to take orders from anyone.

Dr Whyte: How does Daniel Lamb fit into your future, Leo?

Kasper: (chuckles) Danny is the only one in here that got fucked harder than me. I showed him that he doesn’t have to be scared, that he can be a man. I’m here whenever he needs me.

Dr Whyte: Ah. (chuckles) He needs you or do you need him?

Kasper: I think we’ve come to the end of our little session, babe.

Dr Whyte: I don’t believe we have.

Kasper: Let me ask you a little question now, okay? When i broke these chains and strangled the life out of Dr Deborah did they reinforce these chains so that it couldn’t happen again?

Dr Whyte: Uh…

Kasper: Or did they just tell you they were reinforced? Cause i feel they didn’t.

Dr Whyte: Uh.. hang on. Stop it, Leo. Sit down!

Kasper: You better call them, right now. Cause i see another fucking dead doctor in my future!

Dr Whyte: Get back! Get back! Security!

Kasper: (laughs) You want violence? I’ll show you fuckers some violence, COME HERE!

Dr Whyte: Open the door!

[cheryls-blossomed]

did you watch the flash s9 premiere? what did you think?

Yes, I did, and I quite enjoyed it! I went it with no expectations, and I was pleasantly surprised at how well the subtleties and nuances in Barry and Iris's relationship were handled. The last really great episode of The Flash, to me, was 6x17, although there were episodes I very much enjoyed since then, but in terms of matching that intensity, that story-telling, that emotional pay-off... I just do not think the show can pull it off anymore. So, having said that, I did really like that 9x01 instead leaned into levity, while handling the connotations of free will versus fate in the context of Barry and Iris being stuck in the time-loop with nuance. I really liked the notion of Barry wanting to fallback on needing to know every detail of his and Iris's future and needing to follow it exactly, because of the trauma of their past, and Iris wanting to choose and not have to be beholden to specific choice, because of the trauma of their past. Their feelings and emotions are informed by the trauma they have experienced the last few years, when they were physically separated repeatedly, due to Crisis, mirror dimensions, and time sickness.

I was unsure at first about Barry and his book, because initially I worried that this a lesson that Barry seems to need to learn over and over again, but it wasn't what I feared. Barry was very much in the wrong with obsessing about the book and foisting this upon his and Iris's lives, and he needed to come to that realization himself, but I understood why he was obsessing about the book and feeling like he needed to plot out the entire future, because of what's happened to him and Iris and them constantly being physically separated the last few years.

I absolutely adored the material for Iris in the episode. It was some of the best Iris content we have gotten since forever, especially because she has been dealing with so much pain and trauma and had so much violence inflicted upon her in the previous three seasons over and over again, so it was really nice to see Iris struggle internally with wanting to be able to make her choices without being told that she has to do something, because the future says so. Also, I found that scene where she's just like, "fuck it, I'm not dealing with these absurd decisions that may or may not have to be informed by the future, I am going to stay in this time-loop and not have to have all this weighing on me and just have a cocktail and for once not have to worry about all of this," so, so, so relatable. That's just such a good scene, and it felt so real. It's rare that The Flash gives us such good, relatable character moments these days, and this was one of them.

I love that Barry and Iris come up with a solution together on how to end the time-loop, while making choices on their own terms. Iris proactively finding a way to expand CCC into the empire we know it to be through the Coast City Gazette, while turning down the CatCo offer, was wonderful. CHEFS KISS. I always say that CCC is Iris's baby, and so, getting to see her expand her media empire on her own terms was really, really great.

The Westallen content was really fun, as well. I love the rom-com time-loop where they kept waking up on February 1st over and over again. Peak comedy, lol. Also the tender early morning moment. The fireplace kiss was really lovely AND THAT WHOLE SCENE WAS JUST SO SWOON-WORTHY... the romantic lighting, the "Are you sure about this?" "I'm sure about you." GOD, I've missed this peak Westallen romance so much. The power couple energy of them working through the time-loop and saving the day and breaking the time-loop together, on their own terms. The peak best friends in love energy in the pool scene. The scene by the pier, "Okay. Okay. Okay." I just LOVE how the married best friends in love energy jumped out. SO GOOD. Getting to see Barry and Iris together and happy and in love is just... give me all of that content. I am glad that this seems to be a focus this season, and I hope that it carries throughout the season.

So yes, all in all, a really enjoyable hour. It's not equal to my all-time favorite episodes, but I was not expecting it to be. I really appreciated that the episode handled Barry, Iris, and the time-loop with real nuance in the episode and that we got to see some really good character moments, because I honestly cannot recall the last time the show has afforded us this kind of nuance and character introspection.

[septembersghost]

Old quote- quite poignant "(When I ask Swift if she tried to get her masters from Big Machine, her whole body slumps with a palpable heaviness. “It was either investing in my past or my and other artists’ future, and I chose the future,” she says of the deal she struck with Universal.)" vogue(.)com/article/taylor-swift-cover-september-2019

she did so many good, insightful interviews for lover, i hope eventually she feels like doing a bit of press again because i always value hearing her thoughts and more about her process. this was so foreshadowing of, "he's got my past frozen behind glass/but i've got me." she banked on her future and she was right, and she's managed to forge ahead while triumphantly claiming that past anew. it doesn't mean it's all been easy or erase this hurt, but she's really flown free.

this part too:

"IT'S ENLIGHTENING to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things.

How quickly Swift went from a “prodigy” (The New Yorker) and a “songwriting savant” (Rolling Stone) to a tabloid fixture, for instance. Or how suspect her ambition is made to seem once she acquires real power.

Other plot points simply look different in the light of #MeToo. It is hard to imagine that Swift’s songs about her exes would be reviewed as sensationally today. I wonder if, in 2019, any man would dare grab the microphone out of a young woman’s hands at an awards show. I stared into space for a good long while when I was reminded that Pitchfork did not review Taylor Swift’s 1989 but did review Ryan Adams’s cover album of Taylor Swift’s 1989.

I ask Swift if she had always been aware of sexism. “I think about this a lot,” she says. “When I was a teenager, I would hear people talk about sexism in the music industry, and I’d be like, I don’t see it. I don’t understand. Then I realized that was because I was a kid. Men in the industry saw me as a kid. I was a lanky, scrawny, overexcited young girl who reminded them more of their little niece or their daughter than a successful woman in business or a colleague. The second I became a woman, in people’s perception, was when I started seeing it.

It’s fine to infantilize a girl’s success and say, How cute that she’s having some hit songs,” she goes on. “How cute that she’s writing songs. But the second it becomes formidable? As soon as I started playing stadiums—when I started to look like a woman—that wasn’t as cool anymore. It was when I started to have songs from Red come out and cross over, like ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’ ”

Those songs are also more assertive than the ones that came before, I say. “Yeah, the angle was different when I started saying, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Basically, you emotionally manipulated me and I didn’t love it. That wasn’t fun for me.”

I have to wonder if having her songwriting overlooked as her hits were picked apart and scrutinized wasn’t the biggest bummer of all. Swift: “I wanted to say to people, You realize writing songs is an art and a craft and not, like, an easy thing to do? Or to do well? People would act like it was a weapon I was using. Like a cheap dirty trick. Be careful, bro, she’ll write a song about you. Don’t stand near her. First of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, find me a time when they say that about a male artist: Be careful, girl, he’ll use his experience with you to get—God forbid—inspiration to make art.”

Without question the tenor of the Taylor Swift Narrative changed most dramatically in July 2016, when Kim Kardashian West called her a “snake” on Twitter, and released video clips of Swift and Kanye West discussing the lyrics to his song “Famous.” (No need to rehash the details here. Suffice it to say that Swift’s version of events hasn’t changed: She knew about some of the lyrics but not others; specifically, the words that bitch.) The posts sparked several hashtags, including #TaylorSwiftIsASnake and #TaylorSwiftIsCanceled, which quickly escalated into a months-long campaign to “cancel” Swift.

To this day Swift doesn’t think people grasp the repercussions of that term. “A mass public shaming, with millions of people saying you are quote-unquote canceled, is a very isolating experience,” she says. “I don’t think there are that many people who can actually understand what it’s like to have millions of people hate you very loudly.” She adds: “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being. You’re sending mass amounts of messaging to this person to either shut up, disappear, or it could also be perceived as, Kill yourself.”

An overhaul was in order. “I realized I needed to restructure my life because it felt completely out of control,” Swift says. “I knew immediately I needed to make music about it because I knew it was the only way I could survive it.”